#so anyway i didnt even get ensemble but this one freshman (i love him hes so fabulous in every way) got a major-ish part
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Oog I want to commit murder
#didnt get a part in my high schools musical. which okay. sure#im an alto so i had to audition on the guy bracket. for context#so anyway i didnt even get ensemble but this one freshman (i love him hes so fabulous in every way) got a major-ish part#and after our auditions we cried in a corner together bc i didnt do body languge for the song and just shook and he sang at twice the speed#and ended 5 measures before the accomplishment did#so anyway one of those fuck ups is a teeny bit worse than the other /s#so anyway im super happy for him i love him but now im smelling bullshit#so last play i was one of four understudies#2 of us (me and that freshman actually) were understand bc she couldnt pick between 2 kids and chose the seniors for main actors#the others were there bc they were underclassmen boys and she wanted to make sure that they stayed in theatre#because we ALWAYS need more boys#so anyway. im trans and i panickedly came out to her at the audition to explain why im on the male bracket#but i really dont pass as male and im in theatre class already#so anyway other than me there were 14 boys auditioning (she was celebrating that there were actually a lot of guys for once)#and i just checked the cast list.#there were 14 boys cast.#EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. on the male bracket BUT ME. including people who fucked up the audition really bad.#idk im just.#almost thinking of quitting the theatre class 2nd semester so i can actually get some fucking leverage next year#every single cis guy got cast probably many to make sure wed have guys next year.#im just upset bc SO MANY FRESHMEN got cast#the role i wanted went to a freshman not in theatre#and im a junior so i have 1 goddamn shot left and shes giving roles to 12 year olds over me#literally the only reason i was an understudy last play instead of main cast was because senior overrules junior junior overrules sophomore#etc.#but fuck that principle now i guess!#also every damn person in my theatre class got cast but me so. that class is gonna suck for the rest of the year ig!#mercury mumbles#damn im just. mad.#every single guy and she wont even throw me an ensemble. damn.
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