#so I'm sending it out into the world for others to use

[alchemistc]

He's drunk when he sends it. Pissed because Buck won't just let this die. Tired of seeing his name flash across his screen, texts full of anger and sadness and hurt.

I suspect you've already met your last and it's not me he sends, and then turns off his phone and reaches for the bottle of whiskey on his top shelf.

---

If he'd been sober he would have known better. It's not even like it's been a pervasive thought - just an inkling at the start of things that seemed to be completely off base once he got to know everyone better, but looking back... He can see it. The built in life. The steadfast support. The knowledge that they'd always, always have each other's back. The kid who hero worshipped him.

The thing is he's fielding texts from Eddie, too, checking in and then circling around to being so goddamn judgmental that it's like they've coordinated their attacks to give Tommy no room to breathe.

He ended it to save himself from slipping so far under the surface he wouldn't make it back.

The fact that he's lost them both to his own fear is icing on the cake for the demon on his shoulder that keeps trying to remind him that once upon a time he'd fully thought Eddie and Buck were amicable exes.

---

He has to blink to figure out who's standing on his doorstep. The mustache is gone.

"If you meant who I think you mean, you're dumber than you look," Eddie says, and shoulders past Tommy before Tommy can even muster an affronted expression.

Tommy wanders after Eddie into his own kitchen, immediately annoyed that he looks more at home there than Tommy has felt in weeks. He'd gotten used to the loft - the space, the echoes, the lights of the city. The smell of his own aftershave on Buck's pillow.

They never spent much time here. The loft was closer - to Harbor, to the 118, to all the things in the city that tempted them out for a night. And staying at the loft meant he wouldn't have the echoes of Buck in every room, around every corner. (The echoes are in him, instead, and he still feels the absence like a lanced wound.) Tommy has always been good at making other people think he's good at putting distance between himself and them.

Eddie digs in a drawer, pulls out the bottle opener shaped like a cow and pops two tops. Holds one out for Tommy and scowls when Tommy wrinkles his nose at the Corona.

"Absolutely screw you if you think I'm driving halfway across town for you just to get the ones you like, right now."

Tommy can't argue that. He takes a drag and swallows. Stares. Is everyone else experiencing whiplash seeing him without the mustache? It looks fine but it'd taken so much fucking work to get used to it and now it's just gone. Clean shaven, an acre of skin he hasn't seen in months.

Tommy blinked and the entire world was different. Tommy freaked and the world changed.

"What are you doing here?"

Eddie's eyebrows both lift, a frank Are You Fucking Serious look on his face that makes Tommy want to take him to the mats and have it out in the garage instead of over beers.

"Buck may be spinning his wheels trying to figure out what the fuck you meant but I know damn well what you were implying."

That seems unlikely. Eddie always seems to be the last person to have a single clue what was going on, with Buck scraping in just before him. It's a tight race.

He used to find it charming.

(He absolutely does not still find it charming, he tells his heart, and wonders if he could hire some tiny asshole gnome to go stomp around in an atrium or two and get it to stop doing what it's doing. Fucking traitor.)

"Do you actually believe that, or is it some dumb excuse because you're terrified of being happy?"

Oh, that's fucking rich.

Tommy opens his mouth to tell him exactly that but Eddie just steamrolls right by him. "You don't have to point out the hypocrisy, jackass. I'm well aware of my own issues. Thing is - you're like, almost right. Buck does make me happy. Next to Chris there's no one else in the world I'd rather have by my side, rain or shine, good or bad. I love him. He's my person."

Tommy rolls his jaw. It's not a vindication to hear it.

"Except I'm not gay, Tommy. And I don't want that. I never have. And neither does Buck, just in case that argument was about to hit the airwaves."

"How do you know?"

Something sparks in the back of Eddie's eyes. Understanding. Triumph.

"You want an itemized list or a demonstration?"

Which is when Tommy knows he's stepped into an absolute minefield. No markers. Just free balling his way through a conversation that could explode with even the slightest pressure.

Eddie's got his phone out.

None of this is ideal.

When he looks up, his eyes land squarely on Tommy, who would like in this moment to be able to curl so far in on himself he gets sucked clean through the other side. "First of all, Buck may have just been improvising his entire journey of sexuality but for once I was trying to get ahead of the curve so that whole starry-eyed newly not straight vision you have of Buck is bullshit. You let him pull you along by the shirt strings for months without pressing pause and then you freak out when he thinks his speed and your speed are the same speed?"

This is feeling a whole lot like an ambush, now.

"Did you ever even try to slow him down?"

Tommy has some choice words that aren't remotely appropriate to say to someone who is at least tangentially still his friend, so he takes another swig of shitty beer. God, this shit is awful.

"You wanna know how I know I'm not his one? How I know he's not mine?"

Tommy really, really doesn't. Honestly he'd like to kick him out.

"Because he went at our friendship at the same warp speed pace he took your relationship and it never fucking scared me."

Proof in the pudding, for Tommy. He's not the sort of jackass who actually thinks he can make a different judgement call on someone else's sexuality than the one they've made themselves, but come on.

"Shannon's been dead for half a decade," Eddie says, voice dropping so suddenly Tommy feels it like an icy draft. "And maybe one day I'll make my peace with that. Maybe one day I'll get out from under it. The point is I've lost them both and the loss wasn't the goddamn same."

"Buck came back," Tommy argues.

Eddie scoffs. Wrinkles his nose. "Jeez, he wasn't kidding about how weird that sounds." His phone buzzes on the countertop, and Tommy wonders what the hell that look on his face means. "Don't change the subject. I'm not here to talk you into anything. I'm just here to drink a beer with you and tell you how goddamn stupid it is to think that an uncertain future with Evan Buckley isn't worth every second of terror it causes you."

"You don't know me as well as you think you do."

Eddie tips the bottle against his lips. Swallows. God, why hadn't Tommy just pursued the self-proclaimed straight guy for a couple weeks before he scratched the itch somewhere else and kept a friend, instead?

"Maybe." Eddie tips his head. "Maybe I do, though. Maybe in the months and months you were invited to all my mopey nights in with Buck and all the crazy crap we end up involved in at the station and all the times you couldn't shut up about him when he wasn't around and all the times I got to see you falling ass over teakettle for my best friend, I learned a fucking thing or two about Tommy Kinard." He wags his head back and forth. "Maybe."

"Is there a point to this?"

Eddie tips his eyes to his phone, and it's probably too late at this point for the suspicion to begin to creep in.

"I mostly just came to confront you about your completely off base bullshit excuses, but there's actually a pretty simple solution to at least one of your multitude of issues, so. Now we're waiting."

Tommy doesn't like the sound of that at all.

"Chris is mad at you, by the way."

It's a distraction. It's fully a - "Why is he mad at me?"

"I should actually thank you, because it's the first time he's actively talked to me in months," Eddie continues, like Tommy hadn't asked a question. "He's pissed because Buck is sad and there's literally nothing in the world that gets a rise out of the Diaz boys like sad Buck."

"You can just say you're pissed at me and go, Eddie."

"Oh I'm angry. Don't think I'm not. Mostly I'm just sad for you. You had six months to get to know Buck and never thought to yourself 'hes going to love me and it's going to hurt' until he skipped too far ahead in the program."

And that's - kind of the final straw. He's let Eddie get his licks in. He deserves it, he knows he does. Honestly it's a little cathartic to hear - to know exactly what Buck has spent his time dissecting post-Tommy. "That's all I ever thought about. Do you think I didn't know going in? I tried to put a stop to it before it even started and he just doubled down! Do you think for a second I wasn't viscously aware that I was setting myself up for -."

No. He's not gonna say it. He's not giving that to Eddie when he couldn't even give it to Ev-Buck. When he couldn't give it to Buck.

Eddie looks victorious anyway.

"And for six months you thought it was worth it."

"For six months I was too much of a coward to stop thinking about it."

Eddie drains the rest of his beer. "I'm not gonna lie. You screwed up pretty bad. Like. Astronomically bad. Giving up your location in a firefight bad."

Tommy does everything he can not to wince.

"It's salvageable, though. If you want it to be. If there's anything I know about Buck it's that second chances are his bread and butter." He's been dancing around saying anything of substance about Buck's feelings, in all of this, but the hints are there. As if the bouts of angry-depressive texts from Buck weren't clue enough.

"And what if it's not what I want?"

Eddie's eyes dart to his phone one more time. "Then you can make it a clean break in about ... three and a half minutes."

Tommy nearly tosses his beer across the room.

[sideblogofawriter]

I know the Leech mafia family is a popular headcanon for obvious reasons, but I raise you Leech royal family.

And if you're thinking they're the least princely people you'll ever meet, that's exactly the point. Because you know neither of the twins gives a flying fish about ruling, hence they both feel they've got to keep the other one around, so neither can officially be declared the heir and have to commit to the most boring job in the world.

It checks a lot of boxes as well:

being rich

used to formal parties, which Floyd hates

receiving birthday gifts that were attempts to pander to their father

their family dabbling "in a bit of everything" which Jade says is "nothing out of the ordinary" (which would be true given that several other students are of similar lineage)

learning self-defense from a young age (sadly this probably would not include swordplay because fish but it's fun to imagine)

having "connections" that are not elaborated on

In this scenario it's also easy to imagine both of the twins being eager to attend NRC as an opportunity to escape the pressures of royal life, despite Jade saying he finds the Coral Sea "comfortable and pleasant" and that he can't understand merfolk becoming obsessed with the surface. Even Azul sending the prefect to get the photo - when it should be an easy task for the twins - could be construed as them not wanting to make too public an appearance.

In conclusion, I think the Octotrio's mafia vibe would make a great red herring (haha fish joke) to the fact they're actually next in line for the throne and trying to stay on the down-low. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go search for a royal/au fic-

[skele-bunny]

Thinking about Rultialps in the College AU....

Rain Lubina, only child of Mist Lubina, is currently in school for dance. While he did get a bit of a scholarship and financial aid, he still has things he needed to pay for. Text books and supplies aren't cheap. He works down at The Ministry, a local college bar that's VERY active as a go-go dancer and bartender with his best friend Dewdrop.

The week before Finals is always the busiest, and unfortunately, Rain is scheduled every single night shift. He's making a Devil's Den cocktail when another customer slides in one of the spare chairs, leaning over with a big smile, another one next to him.

It's simple, kind. "What can I get for you two?"

How the shorter one looks at the taller. "What they say?"

"They asked what we wanted."

"Ohh," Rain smiles a bit. "In a deaf and mute town and you don't know sign? Shame on you." A sweet tease.

"Hey, cut me some slack! I know some, I'm still learning. But tell you what, let me buy you a shot on top of ours, I'll show you what I do know." He's smiling even wider somehow, the other just rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"You're cute, but I don't drink when I'm working."

"Then what time do you get off?"

"You don't even know my name."

The smaller looks at the other. "They said you don't even know his name."

"Damn! You're right. Okay, okay, restart. I'm Swiss, and this is my fiance, Mountain. Use mine for the tab. Now, you?"

"Rain."

He's pulling out two shot glasses, laughing to himself as Swiss keeps trying and trying, it's almost humorous! Cute, too. Sliding them over and leaning over to meet Swiss a little bit.

"You're cute and all, but I have other customers. Can't keep my attention just for yourself."

Swiss hums, looking at Mountain who gives a little nod. "Oh, baby I know a lot of ways to keep your attention."

But it's just met with a flick on the nose as Rain moves towards the end of the bar, taking more orders and occasionally glancing back. And phew, Swiss TRIES. Finally got to the point Mountain hit him upside the head for constantly waving him down just to flirt. "They're working, asshole."

With a bit of a sad puppy look, they move from their bar to a booth, but Rain can still feel their eyes, and if he looks hard enough can see where they're sitting amongst the crowds. He doesn't have time to mourn though as another wave of customers come in an hour until close.

Finally... FINALLY, his bar is empty and clean. All his tabs are closed except for one and— Except for one?

Looks up and sees Swiss and Mountain, laughing in their own world with some empty baskets and even more empty glasses. He just takes Swiss' receipt and walks his happy self over, Swiss gasping once he notices and tapping Mountain.

"Babe, babe, pretty guy is coming over!"

"Yes, and I'm sure they just heard you, too."

"Oh fuck do you think?"

Rain is giggling before sitting across in the rounded booth, placing down the receipt and watching them take it. Mountain grumbling but still pulling his wallet out while Swiss is back to flirting.

Just sighs dreamily. "You're so pretty. Why are you working here? Should be a housewife..."

"Househusband."

"My bad, househusband. Just spoiled and can relax your feet, and we'd take care of you- why are you so pretty? Mountain tell him to stop being so pretty." He's whining, leaning against Mountain who's babying him.

"Rain wants to leave. Why don't you let him cash us out, and your drunk ass can go to bed?"

"Noo, I wanna go to bed with him!"

Rain just waves them goodbye as Mountain is practically dragging Swiss out who's still singing about how unfair it is Rain is so pretty, even Dew sending a questioning glance as he's sweeping; Rain just shrugs and goes back to helping close. It's the next day as Rain goes into the local dispensary and sees the same guy that was head over heels for him.

"Rain! Look at you, are you stalking me?" Swiss is laughing a little, leaning over the counter. "Usually in those crime shows it's the other way, but hey! I don't discriminate!"

"I'll be considered too pretty to stand trial. Isn't that right?"

"Ohh, very much so. What can I help YOU with this time, sweetheart?"

Just browsing through different vapes and pens, before settling on a new kind Swiss recommends.

"You know... I work tonight."

"Oh, I'd love to bother you again but I'm still not over this hangover."

"I'm dancing, not bartending."

"Dancing?"

Swiss and Mountain are at the bottom of his stage, Swiss' jaw dropped and staring hard at Rain. Just a skin tight body suit that's cut right before the thighs, boots that make up for it at the knees, and an LED face mask. How Rain leans down to his knees, reaching forwards and caressing Swiss' jawline, bringing him closer before letting the plastic touch Swiss' lips, snatching his pen, pulling down his mask and taking a hit. A few more, and he honestly doesn't remember much but the feeling of Swiss stumbling while holding him, shoving him against Mountain and hurried to take off clothes.

Remembers staring at the two before him with both amazement and nervousness, how he happily smoked more with them as they took turns on him. Folded in half by Mountain while Swiss settled near his head.

Yeah... That's about it until he woke up, staring at a tapestry hanging from the ceiling, sandwiched and being held by two bodies. His thighs sticky and his insides feeling heavy, just huffing and burying his face in Mountain's chest who just holds him tighter.

Learns over breakfast at a waffle house that they both work at the dispensary, Mountain is a cannabis director, Swiss as a budtender. Numbers exchanged, and they're even nice enough to drive him back to his dorm, Dew looking at him away from his phone.

"You're such a slut, do you know that?" Rain just takes off his sneakers and throws it at him. "Hey! Ow! Don't be mad at me! Just stating the obvious you're banging customers."

"And you're making people pay."

Dew just smiles and flips him off, letting him crawl up next to him and peek at whatever he's watching.

"Two boyfriends, huh?"

"They're NOT my boyfriends."

They're dating within a week, Rain even sneaking them into the dorm while Dewy is out. Sometimes staying in their little nicknamed hippie apartment. Just Rain and his two stoner boyfriends skkwkd

[gilded-sunrays]

Hello 👋🏻 um.. I wanted to say I really like your writing style and I hope you doing well.😊 I'm quite new here, and I'm rather shy with communicating with people... I wanted to know are you accepting requests ?

If so I would you mind if I asking of scenario of yoriichi with a extremely kind hearted and affectionate fem/reader from his childhood, Who just like to care for those around her giving gifts and try to somehow make them happy.

I want to know how would he react around her? How would he confess to her? You could also make it a short headcanon I don't want to trouble you.

Oh I'm sorry if I talked already too much!!! you don't even have to answer me if you don't want to. Just Thanks for reading my nonsenses😅. I hope you have a good day and I wish for you and everyone a happy life and 😄 take care👋🏻🙏🏻

¡! ❞Confession.ᐟ

|| Pairings: Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi × Reader || ���� Masterlist

▪︎Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi had always sensed a special bond with you. In a world where his own family had turned their backs on him, your presence was the only one that felt welcoming. 

▪︎Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi admired your kindness and gentle spirit, how you would go out of your way to assist strangers, share your groceries with neighbours, and do those small, thoughtful things just to bring a smile to others faces. 

▪︎And although he may not have felt worthy of all your selfless kindness, he made every effort to reciprocate it. Whether it was cooking your favourite meals when you got back, assisting you with chores, or simply tending to you a massage.. and whatnot

▪︎Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi just adored the moments spent with you, with the adorable little creatures that just seemed to gravitate towards him. You two would take some food along to feed them—bunnies, squirrels, little birds, and whatnot. With him around, they even felt calm around you.  

▪︎Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi was a man of few words, often wearing a calm expression when in company, yet he became surprisingly chatty when it was just the two of you.

▪︎While Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi still remained mostly quiet, his attentive listening made it clear that he cherished every word you shared. His face was usually stoic, with only a hint of smile passing through, but you had gotten used to reading his expressions.  

▪︎As time went on, you both had matured and grown into adults. Living together and managing a home as literal children had made you two an unstoppable team.  

▪︎Having each other by your sides, there was no task that seemed impossible—taxes (did he even pay taxes living high up in the middle of nowhere though..?) cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, or budgeting. Over the years, it all became second nature for the two of you. 

▪︎As this bond grew, so did Childhoodfriend!Yoriichi's feelings for you. In his eyes, you were flawless, like an angel—a light that simply kept him from withering away in his life. 

—And you were the light that he vowed to protect for many years to come

"Y/n.." he began softly, as you both sat by the pond where your paths first crossed.

 "My soul has traversed far and wide to find yours.. In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours."

 He continued, lost in memories of you as he reminisced about your beautiful smile and your pleasant aura..

 "..and In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.." 

As he took his rough hand and gently cupped your cheek, leaning in closer, his breath brushed against your skin as he whispered— 

"I love you.. y/n"

|| A/N: Tysm for requesting <33, I sincerely hope you enjoy it! And nah, its not nonsense, infact-- my inbox is pretty much always open for anything, so feel free to send in whatever..lol!

[castielsparkle]

hey guys im sorry to e-beg so much but i unfortunately have had no money for awhile and i can't go any longer without asking for financial help bc i have payments due and i need basic necessities that i haven't been able to buy in a while.

i was working two jobs, now have neither bc of health complications (physical and mental) as well as the second job just becoming money for transport to the first job bc i can't drive. i was walking to the second job but the first was only accessible by car. on top of this, i was experiencing mental strain while working the second job, as it was across from a building i'd previously had to leave for my own wellbeing because i was being harassed by one manager and assaulted extensively by another. the second job also had an hour walk commute each way on foot, which was very taxing as i have chronic pain. i have been out of my medications for about a week now as well, and i spent the last money i had, which was thankfully given to me by some lovely friends, on food for my cats, and a ride home from being with a loved one in the er. my meds help treat a variety of mental illnesses i struggle with, as well as physical pain, and i am also out of hrt supplies. i also have been having troubles w accessing my own money bc of it being withheld by companies i am still trying to sort out rn. (for example i just got done dealing w/ an issue selling a concert ticket i'd bought a year ago in advance, unfortunately through circumstances that had nothing to do w/ the company, me, the customer, or the mail service i used, the tickets had trouble in the mail. due to this i was not able to make the ~300 dollars i sold the ticket for [retail price 400+ when i bought it over a yr ago] but also i was penalized the charge of a replacement ticket incorrectly and didn't receive back the 220+ usd they took for that for weeks. i'm having similar unfortunate issues happening w/ other places still and have no clue when, or if, i will get my money back at all)

i am open for commissions of all sorts + design customs + i have adopts if anyone is interested. please message me/mention on this post if you'd like commission work. these are open whenever unless specified otherwise - however, the payments i have to make are due within about a day (as of 11/11/2024) so i am really scrambling right now.

i'm so sorry again to ask. i don't want anyone going broke trying to help me of course tho, i am not entitled to anything and please only send anything if you can without worry. also even just interacting means the world, tysm 💙🫂 hope you all are well

ca/vm: luvrwulf

pp: darklydreaaming

('dreaaming' with two a's)

[moominvalleysunset]

Jack & Joker episode 10 thoughts on P'Oh's death

I saw a poster who said they were abandoning the show because of their treatment of Trans characters (Their examples: making P'Saran's character Nulek the butt of a joke and killing off P'Jennies character P'Oh quite gruesomely.) And while I completely understand that this is a sensitive topic, especially right now, where Trans rights are being attacked in many if not almost all parts of the world and the result of the US-election does not bode well for a fair and inclusive future (and as you don't know me, let me emphasize: Trans rights are human rights, end of story!), I cannot agree in this instance. Loooong-ass Essay under the cut, be warned!

First of all, Thai culture is a special case as far as gender, gender identity and gender expression goes, both historically and in the progressive movements that are happening both in Thai society and in the entertainment (specifically the BL) industry. You simply cannot judge it solely by Western (or even other Asian) cultural conventions and standards, and by viewing it even more exclusively through an USA-centric perspective you are not doing anyone any favors.

I think that everyone watching Thai BLs regularily at least knows a little about the underlying cultural issues and practices, but for those who would like to learn more, I would recommend reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's extremely fascinating and well-researched book Boys Love Media in Thailand (https://thomasbaudinette.com/boys-love-media-in-thailand-2022-3/) , where he also touches on the development of presenting trans and genderqueer characters in Thai TV and film (though only up until 2021/22, and the last two years have seen significantly more progress, diversity and inclusivity in Thai media both in front of and just as if not more importantly, behind the camera.) It's a great read, and I'm looking forward to the updated edition coming out next year. Or at least read a Wikipedia article or two about the subject if you haven't already, it's extremely interesting!

Now secondly, I want to take a look at the narrative. First of all, the two trans/genderqueer characters mentioned above are not the only ones in the show. We have Nulek's friend Pharao, Joke's disguise as Jessie (not a girl but a genderqueer person in drag, and emphatically NOT a caricature), Arun as a femme character and not to forget P'Oh's business – and maybe life – partner, a Trans man. Neither of them has been singled out, ridiculed or punished for their not conforming to any hetero- or cisnormative standards in the story (except for Arun by his dad, and nowhere is this presented as anything but reprehensible behaviour by a father). They are normal people struggling with social injustice and mundane problems, like anyone else. Which brings me to the first of the two instances mentioned, Nulek. While I understand that leaving them at a trash heap (I think we all can agree that getting them out of the way was just a plot thing that needed to happen) might raise some hackles, they are not the only one left there. The – very cismale – driver that Joke impersonated was also left at the landfill, so it is maybe not all that symbolic? Especially because Nulek and Arun's other subordinate Pharao get their comeuppance later on when they get their wonderfully petty revenge on their fallen boss. They have gained agency, rightfully enjoy their upper hand and are again not being ridiculed by the narrative.

And now P' Oh, played by the wonderful P'Jennie. I am horribly saddened by her senseless death, angry and frustrated, because it was so preventable and unfair, but her being Trans is not the most important part here IMO. She was trying, she was struggling, she was failing, she was succeeding, she was funny and sassy and beautiful and a smart businesswoman, and she was the only character apart from the mains, Toi Ting and Ama (who were not spared, either), whose death would send a big enough shockwave through the community to finally rattle them into fighting back  (but also leave the mains able to function and not utterly paralyse them in grief). That's why neither Toi Ting's dad nor Tattoo's mom were viable options. P'Oh was respected and liked in her community. Having her die was dark as fuck, but narratively speaking IMO necessary, and she didn't die because she was Trans. She died because she was the only character whose death would have the right amount of repercussions. So I cannot agree with the other poster that killing her was "shitting on Trans women". Really not.

Thirdly, we have to leave the show and look beyond, behind the camera. These people are longtime collaborators and by all accounts great friends and business partners. P'Jennie is a star who has written lakorn and BL history with her roles. There is nothing but love and respect for her from the makers of the show, you can be sure of that. And I would really like to hear her speak about her character and her role here. And Nuleks actor P'Saran and their friend Pharao have been collaborating with War, Yin and their managers since the first En of Love Anthology in 2019/20. YWPBs managers P'Go and P'Aun themselves can be read as femme. YWPBs work environment and the people they choose to collaborate with seem to be progressive, inclusive, diverse and definititely neither cisheteronormative nor tone-deaf to social issues, as we can see in all their works and public presence. Even more so in War and Yin themselves and in what they choose to say, do and stand for publicly. Are they all perfect? No (who is?), but it seems to me that they are trying really hard to do what's right.

So while I of course understand why someone could be triggered, angry and disappointed at what they see as yet another instance of a Trans character being treated unfairly, I would argue that here this anger might be misdirected and this reading neither does justice to the characters, the narrative, the actors and makers of this show nor to the very real issues Trans and genderqueer people still face in Thailand and around the world.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my essay/rant and I would be extremely interested in what you have to say in return!

[bigidiotenergy]

Move, little flower. Odysseus can feel his heart sinking to his stomach once more. Had he made the wrong decision? Was it a mistake, not killing the stranger outright so he could simply send the message to the others? Had he made a mistake, trusting his HUMANITY?

You can relax, my friend...

Polities...

The King quiets himself as he listens to the sisters bicker. They go back and forth. The stranger he had shown kindness to shows him that same kindness in return.

No matter the place...

The stranger steps to his side. Odysseus was still on his hands and knees. He hadn't made the slightest movement since the other two arrived. Call it fear. Call it cautiousness. Whatever it takes to keep the calm. He shows no intention to take advantage of the vulnerability the creature shows him.

We can light up the world...

"My name is Charalambos. Cara- for short." Greek for glowing with joy.

Greet the world with open arms.

"Eleven years I've been away from home. An island, far, far away. I fought in a war. A human war," Accentuating that humanity. Show them how frail humans are. How trivial their fights are. How little they compare. Play the character, Odysseus, King of Ithaca. "And now I am fighting my stomach day in and day out. But that does not mean I've come to raid your isle's resources. That's why I'm here. To beg for your kindness, for your MERCY. I ask for you to simply lead with your hearts. Pity us, so we can finally make it home. Please."

The black winged one hissed in rage. A human?! A human in their forest?

“Move, little flower.” They’d make this quick. Get their sister to safely and then get rid of him. But Lyra didn’t move. Her wings lowered so they could see him but she didn’t move from between them.

“Sisters. He’s just asking for food.” She clutched her basket and stared down Kiara the best she could.

“He hurt you! We heard you yell! Did you at least take his name?” As the two spoke, Rose made her way besides Lyra and looked down at the human. She twirled her blade in her hand. Curious but ready to attack.

“Cara. He is Cara.” Lyra placed a hand on the blade causing Rose to stop and move back. “And I really did trip. He didn’t hurt me.”

“You cannot just call him friend and use that as his name.” The fae was getting angry. Lyra moved so she was besides the human. Showing his bowed form. She draped a wing over him. The act sending a panic in her sister. Her delicate wing so close to danger.

“He speaks truth. He’s just a man trying to get home. Please listen.” He had plenty of opportunities to hurt her. Lyra understood that. And she understood he didn’t. He couldn’t be bad.

Kiara was unconvinced of this Cara’s good nature.

“Speak your name, human.” She demanded.

[thewritersline]

Five Plus One 5+1 Angst Ideas

5 Angst:

Asking for help Five times X tried to ask for help and didn’t get it, and one time they didn’t need to, OR, five times X tried to ask for help, and one time they didn’t bother.

Don’t do that Five times X ignored/heeded the warnings of others, and one time when they didn’t, OR, five times someone asked X not to do something and one time they asked someone else.

Love to see you go Five times X watched people leave, and the one time someone stayed, OR, five times X watched people leave, and the one time they were the one to go.

I’m fine, really Five times X brushed off others’ concerns, and the one time they weren’t able to.

In your corner Five times Character A encouraged Character B, and the one time they couldn’t.

+1 Non-angst:

I love you, but...

Five times Character A told Character B, “I love you, but...” as a casual joke, and the one time they just said “I love you.”

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)

so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.

anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)

If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.

To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.

The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.

I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.

so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

[frankensteinmutual]

one of my housemates is so fucking sensitive it turns me into a person I do not like

[brittlebutch]

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it

[yugocar]

I just stumbled upon your blog, and it almost made me cry tears of joy. I'm a queer, autistic person from the balkans and i've fought like hell to not let any of the hatred get to me. Like, hell, I'm a serb of croatian descent (with a lot of my family being croatian)! And sometimes I feel so out of place because I don't agree with all the nationalistic bullshit that is spewed around. It gets lonely. So to see someone who holds similar opinions to mine, made me feel so much better. I want to be so much more than all the hatred around me. So, thank you :))

anon i can't put into words how happy this message made me. thank you for taking the time to write me. being who we are and being from where we are, it's so easy to sink into a pit of despair. unfortunately those with the most horrendous thoughts are so often the loudest in this region. growing up in a place where on every street corner there is graffiti telling you that you should be dead for being queer or calling war criminals heroes, it makes you feel so fucking alone. i don't know what it is like for you, but being autistic just adds so much extra isolation on top of that for me. it makes it so much more difficult to connect to the communities that do think like you, which is where marginalized people draw most strength from. if you've had a similar struggle, i feel for you deeply. it's difficult to walk a different path when everyone around you has decided to channel their anger at balkan reality into hatred. it's difficult to still find your own ways of loving your culture despite that. i don't know where you are in your journey, but if you aren't fully there yet i promise you that there is nothing more liberating than saying - absolutely fuck all of that. i'm so proud of you for saying no to that hatred. i'm so proud of you for making it day in and day out despite how violently our society wants us to disappear. for years i've had nationalists telling me that i'm not a serb, that i biologically can't be one because of who i am. when i was younger it got to me. it made me want to give up on my culture until it clicked that its my culture and no matter how badly they want it, they can never take it away from me or decide how i practice it. you are a serb, you a croat, you are both and neither. you are so much richer for all of the different cultures you have as a part of you. if i managed to make you feel even 1% less alone in this world, then i've done more than i could ever hope for. i know it sounds corny, it's not meant to represent an actual political praxis, but when i chose to deeply love the people our society would have us hate, something inside me solidified and healed. i will never let anyone take that away from me, and i know you wont either. i'm sure that i can't imagine the challenges you faced, and if no one has ever told you this then i will take my chance now - you are incredibly strong and brave for being put into such difficult circumstances and still choosing to be good, to be better. your autism, your queerness - it's a part of your cultural identity. never ever let anyone convince you that you are less for it.

[thepringlesofblood]

google search: easiest way to become a captain of something so that i can be addressed as "Capt." on paperwork instead of "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Ms."

[girlbob-boypants]

It's weird to me when people defend the Deimos story cause it's about the class of people who organized your horrible fate as a child soldier being a family of people who actively abuse and torture each other and it's all portrayed as just mild misunderstandings that you can fix by doing their chores.

Meanwhile discussions of the heart and the infested are just nowhere to be fucking seen, making it terrible for worldbuilding and also just terribly unpleasant to experience if you have an ounce of critical thinking about what's actually happening

At least it's an infinitely better farm than the other two

[yngai]

we are winning at levels never before thought possible it seems, after making the wrong choice of becoming an ada wong fan & having to subsist off the crumbs of characterization given to me in in-game files, supplemental material & scant lines of dialog it seems capcom is truly going to give me everything i have ever wanted :

probably giving ada the best DLC in the franchise, a meaningful relationship with a character that isn't leon that seems to take precedent in her story over her few chance encounters with leon in RE4R ( i have a feeling her & luis' history gives their dynamic far more meaning than his little rollercoaster ride with leon ), cool sci-fi contacts replacing the glasses she never really used in the original, integrating her grapple hook in her combat when it was sadly only ever used for traversal, actual content specifically designed for her campaign & not just reused arenas from the main game ( some of these are from the original carried over to ada but i think her performing the coolest thing leon does in the original, dodging the lasers, is sick ), finally positioning wesker as an antagonist in ada's story directly rather than him hanging over her like a school headmaster trying to play mindgames .

it's honestly so personally rewarding to see capcom go to such lengths for a character they have otherwise neglected, even in a game like re6 where she carries the emotional core of the story ( in specific her developing relationship with carla as she learns she is more than just some lab-made doppelganger, which was sadly undercooked - like most of the game, despite the explosions )