#so I'm not shocked it's a trainwreck

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: The Snowman

There's just no sugarcoating it, this month has been rough for your dear old friend Peebs. It's mostly my ongoing struggles with mental health and mental healthcare bureaucracy, as well as my specific neurodivergence apparently being atypical. This is all to say that I'm grumpy af, and as such I will see Sucktember 2024 off with writing about two movies that I think are bad. First up is the 2017 cinematic disaster The Snowman.

Now, the Snowman is infamous for being a poorly made film, in part because that by the look of it they didn't get around to filming all of it. Dan Olson has a very good breakdown of that side of it, and as such I won't try to come up with much new to say about that. Yes, entire plot points are obviously created from B-roll and sloppy voiceover, the dubbing of Val Kilmer is strange and unpleasant to the mind, hell, that entire subplot could be cut down to not feature Kilmer at all if they had actually full-assed it, the ending is a fucking enigma, etc etc. What I will be focusing on, however, are just how weird of an adaptation it is. Like even if they got around to filming all of it and assemble it more completely, there would be parts of this movie that is just puzzling, and I want to get into that soft sweet meat a little today.

Ok, I lied. There's one exception. There is one nonsensical editing decision with this movie that I need to talk about and nobody's talking about it. The movie opens with a flashback to the backstory of the murderer, which isn't outrageous as these things go, it's a thing, especially in Scandinavian Crime Fiction. What really gets to me is that after this flashback, we cut to our hero, Harry Hole (pronounced with a long o, get your minds out of the gutter) waking up hungover in a park. Our hero Has Problems, that's not unusual either. However, I would argue, what the movie has told us with this sequence of events is that the Murder Flashback was about Harry, and might even have been a dream/nightmare.

Like this is Film Studies 101 stuff, the Kuleshov effect. The juxtaposition of two cuts convey narrative. If this was how the book started it'd be fine, The Snowman is smack dab in the middle of the Harry Hole series, perhaps the readers, or the narration, is mindful that they're depicting two different characters here. The camera, the all-seeing idiot of the screen, can't imply this kind of thing, and so characters need to show their thoughts and feelings through action. That is not what is happening here. In fairness, though, if the movie had the coverage to actually convey that Mr. Hole has been On The Drink Again, and how this contrasts with his character, that would be fine.

Anyway, let's get back to the weirdness. The first one is probably the biggest one. Why is this movie set in Norway? Like genuinely, why take a British and US cast all the way across the pond to speak English in the streets of Oslo? Yeah, you need snow for the snowmen, so it's not like you can film this on a LA backlot (at least cheaply,) but there are places that have snow over in the US as well, and while the Norwegian State Subsidies of overseas film productions have been pretty juicy lately, surely Canada hasn't been bled dry yet?

Ok, I'm being a cynic about this, but frankly, it's not like the movie makes great use of the setting. There's basically no Norwegian cultural details that moors this thing a bit and makes it feel like there's a story. There's Swedish songs, chiefly Härligt, härligt men farligt, farligt by Björn Skiffs, as well as the Swedish version of the birthday song. Now, in fairness, there is overlap between Swedish and Norwegian culture especially in the eastern part of country. Shame then, I suppose, that this song is sung in Bergen, the very westernmost edge of the country. The concert Hole and his son that isn't his son (but it is his son) goes to is incomprehensible nonsense, I assume by design, but it would've been a great excuse to drag in some local act for some cred. Mais non, I suppose, it's all set dressing for Fassbender to mope around in.

One thing I've noticed that is weird in this is that the movie ends up, mostly by accident, implying that basically all the locations in the movie are like... close to each other. The biggest sinner is the train ride between Oslo and Bergen, which takes between six and a half and seven and a half hours. It's not quite a full day's undertaking, but if you somehow went there and back again in a day, you're probably pretty tired and not, like our friend Harry, slunking around crime scenes like it's the only thing you know how to do.

Another thing that gets to me is how unwilling the city seems to be to show any convincingly scuffy sides of Oslo. Oslo is a reasonably clean city, and the local police's dilligence in herding the transient and narcotic-employing population city from the view of the tourists should be noted if not commended. That said, when Harry falls into a drunken slumber in a location that looks like one of the semi-fancy places downtown, it doesn't exactly sell the believability of it. Round those parts, you would not be left to potentially die from exposure. You'd be roused, and if you weren't willing to get the fuck out of dodge and freeze to death on someone else's property you bet your ASS some very firm-looking security guards would be happy to escort you off the premises. There are places in Oslo that look sufficiently scuffy to really sell the "guy's collapsed, uncertain if he's sleeping, drunk or high as a kite" kind of idea, but it seems nobody gave enough of a shit to find any of them.

Then there is how incongrous the setting seems in time. Beats By Dre product placement places us in the contemporary, but there is one thing that bothers me with it. Through the movie our heroes struggle with this clunky Web 1.0-looking piece of telecom tech that you keep expecting to be important in some way, at least as a weapon of blunt force trauma, but no dice. The villain of the piece thwarts it at one point to allow the requisite fridging of the movie's supporting actress raise the stakes without advancing the plot any. No, this strange piece of over-specialized impractical tech just kind of exists, as some commentary on the Norwegian Technocracy with all the relevance stripped away.

Part of this, I suspect, is Garbage In, Garbage Out. Yeah, making this feel like a story actually set IN Oslo and portraying distances and the general feel of travel in Norway would help a lot, but there is many things it would not fix. It would not fix said fridging where our Cop Lady gets Taken Off The Case For Being Too Close, and then goes on to try to seduce some juicy leads out of a suspect in the case. It's a total dud, as he is just a creep, and the real killer finds her and kills her with the creepy guy none the wiser and no actual progress made. What, this 90s crime thriller written by a man has some janky perspective on the lady characters? You don't say.

While it is not the graves of its sins, the ending of this movie is weird as fuck too. After standing up to his dark mirror The Snowman Killer and coming up one finger short for his troubles, the last shot in the movie is Harry... taking on another case? Sure, I mean yeah, but why stop there? Harry isn't planning on quitting, if anything he's a workaholic. It's not like he has gone through a journey of maybe wanting to work less and concentrate on the family that isn't a family (but it is a family) he has. Sure, he has expressed a desire to, but his failure to even try has been as lukewarm of a "distant parent" narrative could possibly be. So what is the ending supposed to make us feel? Good because The One Good Cop That Can Get Shit Done is still out there The Dark Knight-ing for us? Sad because this Disco Elysium protagonist in the making is still on the self-destructive cop beat? Excited because the Guy Who Investigates Grizzly Crimes Is Still Investigating Grizzly Crimes? Beats me, and by the look of it, it also escaped the film makers.

It should come as no surprise that re-watching The Snowman didn't exactly endear me to it. It's a sloppy, incomplete film that probably wouldn't be any good even if they had the chance to film it, although it would perhaps not scream out the choreography of the final twist so loud if there wasn't one character literally pointless apart from secretly being the killer all along. This, together with the awkward pacing, lacking introductions and altogether flat affect of the whole thing, makes it seem like an adaptation that took too much from the original work. While yes, a lot of adaptations could do with harking a bit closer to the source material, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

[meova101]

So r/formula1 is also being asked to reopen. Very kindly, I'm sure, we're all friends here after all. And to make damn sure the subreddit adheres to the rules, well...

did someone order a malicious compliance or what

[generalsmemories]

Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

[whore-ibly-hot]

Yan!Bully x Gn!Reader x Yan!Loser

'Art-Project'

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Bullying, name calling, degradation, violence, mentions of non-consensual photos, nonconsensual touching, male pronouns for the yans, mentions of school, general perversion, toxic behaviors, creep behavior.

(AN: Had a fun time with this one, really enjoyed toying with the dynamic between this two. I think I'll probably make a part two with these trainwrecks in the future)

Part 2 here

The crashing of books and pens falling on the tile floor rings out through the boy's bathroom, as a young, dark-haired boy is thrown harshly onto the cold multi-colored tile. The boy lets out a cry as he hits the ground, and he scrambles away upon impact, pressing his back up against the wall as he looks up at his assaulter.

"F-fuck off, Patrick!" Ahmed exclaims, his frightened eyes never leaving the predatory gaze of the bully who stands over him. Ahmed's free hand wanders around the bathroom floor, grasping blindly to try and find his book bag. Ahmed's accent only becomes more prominent, as his voice shakes and cracks. "Fuck did you say to me, you little shit?" Patrick grabs the boy by his collar, yanking him up from the ground and sneering at him. Ahmed gulps when he feels Patricks breath tickle his neck, making him tremble. "I-I didn't, didn't mean it, c'mon. I was just shocked when you threw me on the floor, it just slipped out." Patrick rolls his eyes, and as he does, his gaze falls on Ahmed's bright red backpack, laying open on the floor. Patrick notices how Ahmed's eyes widen when Patrick looks at it, causing Patrick to raise an eyebrow.

"What's in the bag, freak?" Patrick whispers, and before the sentence has even fully left his lips, Ahmed is fiercely shaking his head. "Nothing, nothing! Just work, please-" He hits the floor again, and he's sure tomorrow he'll be bruised from the rough treatment. "Pick it up." Ahmed looks up. "What?" "C'mon, pick it up. You're all freaked out, freak... I wanna know why, so I'm gonna tell you one more time." Patrick crouches down, and nods in the direction of the cloth schoolbag. "Pick. It. Up." He pauses after each word, relishing the fear in Ahmed's eyes.

Since Ahmed transferred to Morrisville high, Patrick had made his life a living hell. Not that he wasn't already unpopular at his old school, but people at least tried to avoid him there. People did here at first, before Patrick set his sights on Ahmed. Patrick wasn't sure what drew him to the scrawny, quiet boy. Possibly the way everyone avoided him, or maybe it was how little everyone knew about the new kid. Most likely, it was the knowledge that no matter what he did to the boy, or what he made him do, no-one was going to stand up for the boy. Patrick picked on everybody, but god, Ahmed became his favorite. The way he'd squirm, and cry. The way he was able to convince the other kids at the school to pick on the lonely boy. Things only got worse when Patrick found out that everyone at Ahmed's old school thought he was a freak too. Suddenly, shoulder-checks in the hallway became full-on beatings, stolen homework became shoes and clothes being taken from Ahmed's locker, or even right off the poor boy. Patrick never hesitated to remind Ahmed that even if he reported him, or got away from this school, that he'd still be a freak, no matter where he went.

Ahmed's sobs snap Patrick out of his reveling, as the scrawny boy crawls over to the bag, his hands shaking as he tries to grip the red canvas of the backpack. Patrick huffs, but before he can open up the backpack and take a look, he hears footsteps outside the bathroom, coming from down the hall. "Get in the fuckin' stall, go." Patrick growls, pointy sharply at the large handicapped stall at the other end of the bathroom. Patrick steps outside of the bathroom, and Ahmed can hear Patrick greeting whoever is outside. A friend of Patrick's probably. Another member of his little delinquent gang. Ahmed shuts the lid of the toilet and sinks down to sit on the lid, afraid his knees may give out. The sound of heavy boots approaches, and Patrick fingers slid around the stall door, pulling it open as he slips into the stall, locking it behind him. Ahmed tries to steady his breathing.

"Alright, open it up. C'mon." Patrick nods in Ahmed's direction. Shaking hands pull out textbooks, pens, pencils, even the leftovers from Ahmed's lunch. The objects clatter to the floor, scattering across the bottom of the stall. "See, nothing in here, just my school stuff." Ahmed's trembling hands extend the now empty bag to Patrick, presenting it almost proudly. "What... there's no fucking way." Patrick huffs. He begins to dig through the objects, kicking away the writing utensils as he grasps at the textbooks. He flips through each of the pages, trying to find anything incriminating. His frown only deepens as he finds nothing. He's about to give up, as he reaches for a blue folder labeled 'Math'. When he does, Ahmed lets out an involuntary whimper, causing Patrick to freeze. A sick grin spreads across the blonde's face, as he slowly pivots his head to look at Ahmed.

"There we go, somethin' in here you don't want me seeing?" He asks. Ahmed nods, tears cascading down his cheeks. "Alright, I'll tell you what, freak..." Patrick stands straight up, leaning up against the wall behind him. "Tell me what's in the folder, and I won't even look, okay? Just get it off your chest, I'm open-minded." Patrick purrs at the boy, watching his resolve crack in real-time.

"It's-" Ahmed goes quiet towards the end, his words so soft Patrick can't hear. "What was that? You gotta speak up." He sighs. "Or, I guess I could just look-" He moves to flip open the folder with the edge of his boot, causing Ahmed to jolt forward. "N-no!" The boy yells, thrusting his hands out in front of him. Patrick scoffs, tossing his head back for a moment as he laughs, clutching at his stomach. "Jesus, Ahmed, what the hell is in here that's got you so spooked?" Patrick asks. Ahmed shivers. Somehow Patrick using his real name is worse than him calling him 'freak'. It feels more personal.

"It's nudes... nude photographs." Ahmed whimpers, a blush of shame spreading across his cheeks as his gaze falls to the floor. "Oh- yours?" Patrick asks. Ahmed doesn't respond, causing Patrick's brows to furrow, an amused and pleasantly surprised expression coming onto his face. "Not yours, huh." Patrick glances down at the folder. "Who the hell's been giving you pussy, freak? Who's been letting you take those pics?" He asks. Ahmed's hands are tense, gripping the fabric covering his knees so hard that he worries they might tear.

"I- they didn't, alright?" Ahmed cries, curling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in shame. "They didn't-" Patrick takes a moment to process this information. His eyes light up in realization. "You really are a little pervert, huh? I knew something was off about you." He puts his hand on his knees, leaning over so he can make eye contact with Ahmed's curled up form. "A sick little pervert. You get off on those photos?" Ahmed whines. "Some poor kid at this school doesn't know that the school freak strokes it every night to a picture of them... poor them." Patrick leans down and picks up the folder.

"Wait, w-what are you doing, you said you wouldn't look if I told you the truth about what was in there?" Ahmed coughs, almost full on hyper-ventilating at this point, eyes wide in panic. Patrick nods, keeping eye contact with Ahmed as he flips open the folder. "True, but..." He shakes his head, his blonde locks falling from his loose ponytail. "How do I know you're telling me the truth about what's in here if I don't look?" Ahmed scoffs. "Why would I lie about having a folder of some creep-shots?" Patrick shrugs. "I don't know, maybe something like that doesn't seem that serious to you, y'know, because you're a pervert." He suggests. Patrick sticks his tongue teasingly out at Ahmed, before looking down at the gritty Polaroids nestled behind some math notes.

The photos are taken from all sorts of places. The ones at the front are simple upskirts from behind, the subjects face not visible. As Patrick examines more of them, he notices they seem to get more invasive. The final photograph was clearly shot at night, a bedroom window visible. The subject of the photo lies nude, and Patrick's face falls when he sees the face. He looks up at Ahmed, his breath halted. "They... they are cute, huh?" Ahmed looks up from his knees, confused. "You know them?" Ahmed swallows harshly, then nods. "Sort of... we have English together." As Ahmed explains the nature of his relationship to you, Patrick flips through the photos once more. Now that he knows these photos are of you, they have an even greater allure. "Hmm, I have lunch period with them, gym too..." He muses. "Heh, you should see em' in those little gym shorts, shit..." Ahmed isn't sure where this is going, but Patrick's calm tone and hyper-focused expression stress him out even more than when Patrick is outwardly aggressive. At least then he's predictable. Right now, Ahmed is in new territory with his tormentor.

Patrick sighs, and tucks the photos back into Ahmed's folder. He smacks the folder into the center of Ahmed's chest, making him let out a grunt as his trembling hands grip the blue plastic. "Listen, freak." He whispers. He places a hand on the wall behind Ahmed, allowing him to move his face right up in front of the boys. Brown eyes look back at him with fear. "Nobody has to know about all this. I'm still gonna kick your ass, but nobody has to know about your..." He thinks. "Let's call it 'extracurricular art project', okay?" Ahmed, gulps, and asks. "What do you want in return, I know the way you are." Patrick chuckles. "You're pretty smart, huh? Alright, I'll tell ya. Get me some of those photos, some new ones. And copy that last one, that shot into their room." He says. "Why, y-you like them too?" Ahmed whimpers. Patrick shrugs. "I know they've got a sweet little body, and I wouldn't mind a closer look at it, that's all." Ahmed considers this. If he doesn't agree, who knows what Patrick would tell everyone. God, Ahmed might even have to change schools again, and if he did, he couldn't be near you. He shakes his head. He won't let that happen.

"Alright, you got it. I- I think I can get them to you by friday." Ahmed offers, and Patrick nods. Ahmed moves to stand, but Patrick pushes him back. "One more thing, freak." He whispers. Ahmed bites his lips in fear. Patrick slips his hand from the boy's shoulder, down past his waist, and to the front of his victims school shorts. He roughly palms Ahmed's limp cock through his pants, making the boy choke on his own spit in shock. Patrick sighs softly at his reaction, leaning in to whisper into his ear.

"Snap me a pic of yourself too, freak..."

[starry-bi-sky]

Just so you know, I've reread your answer to my ask about how you'd rewrite "Double Cross My Heart" in your Danyal Al Ghul au several times over. And I'll just say, your whole breakdown and revision of that trainwreck of a Sam centered episode is the very reason why when it comes to the phandom, both alone and in dpxdc crossovers I tend to lean more towards fanon Sam instead of canon.

Because the people that like her yet acknowledge her glaring flaws do a far better job of bringing her to task when she's being unreasonable or hypocritical in a way that's fair than the supposedly professional storyboard writers.

Anyway, you mentioned that you don't like amethyst ocean and prefer gray ghost. Same here. (though I also like pink astronaut) Since then, I can't stop imagining Danyal/Danny with the "Damian experiencing his first crush" headcanon applied to him. The idea of him treating Valerie with suspicion under the assumption she somehow poisoned or hit him with some kind of hidden anti ghost tech that affects both his human and ghost side, when in reality it's simply him developing feelings for her is just absolute hilarity. To me if no one else.

FIRST OFF YOU ARE SO SWEET <33 the fact that you've read my post about Double Cross My Heart SEVERAL TIMES means I'm now morally obligated to die for you. I'll admit! I was a bit harsh on Sam a little in my original response, because I was irritated by some depictions of her in fanon painting her as someone who could do no wrong and had the only braincell in the group. So I was kinda picking on her a little bit. Would I change a thing? No, I love her character, I just love dissecting her flaws even more.

AND ALSO YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DANYAL THING. That's so cute and so funny, effective immediately it is now canon🧑‍⚖️ . He fought Red Huntress earlier that day and she got a lucky good hit on him, and it's literally that one Marina reaction image where the first panel she looks shocked, the next she looks into it. At least part of it. That's literally what happened, and the next time Danny runs into Valerie at school his heart flutters.

Danny puts up this whole conspiracy board because Valerie smiled at him and his heart went all flippy-floppy and what is this FEELING. He shows it to Sam and Tucker and they both are doing that hands folded prayer-style pressed against their mouths in concern thing, and they don't know whether they should laugh or cry.

Because on one hand: oh my GOD, Danny. But on the OTHER: on my god, Danny. He's never gonna live this one down but that's because if they don't tease him about it, they're gonna get all mopey and sad about it. Just another reminder of their best friend's tragic, mysterious background.

aaa. There are some headcanons I wanna go over (like how when they go on a date, Danny and Valerie have this cute heart to heart where Danny admits that he's not used to being open with people, but he wants to try to be with Valerie because she makes him really happy. He's so shy and almost flustered, and Valerie is so charmed by this side of Danyal Fenton that she's not used to.) but I REALLY wanna think about this in terms of episodic because it was super fun doing it last time, and I really enjoyed it.

If you remember (and you prolly do since you mentioned you read the last ask you sent me several times) I said in the Gregory post that I deleted a (frankly good chunk) of writing that included how i would change the Valerie episodes leading up to the Gregory one, but I deleted it because it was kinda irrelevant to the ask, and admittedly I was getting myself all twisted in knots about it.

But I kinda wanna do that now.

So. If you don't mind I am. Gonna do that. And luckily for me! I found the website I can do. that for free, and have it pulled up! It's the same one I used for the last post to chart out the gregory episode.

So, Shades of Gray! I lowkey want this episode to be like, subtly hinting at the idea that Valerie might develop a crush on Danny first. But ultimately it gets the two of them properly introduced and established with each other, and Red Huntress going.

The episode starts out with Danny being chased by Dash because he got a bad grade in a spelling, obviously if he tried that with Danyal he's gonna get his shit wiped. So! Change! It's Danny heading to his next class, he's texting Sam and Tucker, expertly maneuvering around people in a combination of teen-texting-habit and assassin training awareness. Kinda aware of what's around him, but also not and just trusting instinct.

We meet Valerie when she's showing off a (frankly unflattering) purple polo shirt that costs, AND I QUOTE: "$579, and worth every one of my dad's pennies." to Paulina and Kwan. Girl, this shirt is a few shades off from that NEON "error, image not found" magenta. It looks incredibly unflattering on her considering it's neon-y-ness and the orange skirt and headband she's wearing. Sweetheart, get your damn money back, or at least pick a different pair of pants.

I'm telling you this because I can't resist changing the design. So instead of. that.

She is INSTEAD wearing like, this cute, ruffled, soft pastel purple crop top and some cute jean shorts. Her hair is in like, passion twist braids with little gold cuffs in them. She looks SO cute guys, so cute.

Of course maybe they made it look ugly on purpose because in the show she gets coffee dumped on her 30 seconds later from Danny crashing into Paulina while running from Dash.

I've thought of three different ways this could go, and can't pick which so I'm just gonna write them out and see which one I'm drawn to more.

Kwan, Paulina, and Valerie are standing in the hallway. Not next to a corner but close to one. Danny turns the corner, does not run into them. He briefly looks up from his phone when he hears, they kinda stare at each other, and Danny idly, disinterestedly looks at Valeria, then compliments her with a single; "Nice shirt." Pretty anticlimatic ngl, but it startles the trio a little bit because Danny doesn't often talk to other people outside his circle unless he's in some kind of group project or has to. So for him to compliment Valerie unprompted is startling. This could or could not end with one of them snarkily saying "thanks its worth more than your entire wardrobe" which Danny would take offense to because, lets not kid ourselves, Danyal and Damian Al Ghul were raised as pseudo-princes in the League. Without missing a beat he shoots back: "at least i have a personality beyond being rich." and then disappears down the hallway.

The trio begin walking down the hallway, crash into Danny. HE gets coffee splattered all over him and he immediately reels back, instinctively reverting back to his mother tongue and hissing out arabian curses as coffee drips down the front of his red hoodie and shirt. It's even in his hair. Thankfully the coffee is not as hot as it started out, but it's still uncomfortably warm. He wipes the drink from his eyes, flicks it onto the ground, and hisses out; "watch where you're going!". The trio? Kinda unsure of how to react at first; Danny is unpopular, but not unpopular enough to be worth bullying -- besides, everyone knows he wouldn't tolerate it. But then I think Paulina finds her tongue and says "what did you say?". Danny turns to her and says; "I said; watch where you're going. Need me to say it in Spanish? Mira por donde vas!" He flicks off his hoodie, grumbling in arabic about how he's going to smell like coffee all day, and stalks off. I'm pretty partial to this idea.

Valerie still gets coffee dumped on her. But instead of sic'ing Kwan on him (because she knows that won't work), she just says a few choice words to Danny and stalks off with Paulina and Kwan to go find somewhere to clean off the coffee. Danny approaches her later and gives her a list of cleaning stuff that can get coffee stains out of her shirt. And when she tells him it's made of like, this super specific fabric that needs this really specific stuff to clean, Danny raises his eyebrow at her and says that he knows, and it is a list of stuff that can clean out the stain without damaging the shirt. He says he's not an idiot, and he knows how to recognize X-Fabric when he sees it. Just because I'm fond of pseudo-prince Al Ghul here being a bit of a snob and has an extensive care and hygiene routine. He uses this moisturizer or cologne that makes him smell faintly like sandalwood and vanilla because that is my favorite scent. Tucker jokingly handed him a 13-in-1 once while they were doing a quick supply run with Sam, and Danny literally dropped it like it burned him.

I'm really partial to two and three. So i'm going to get a second opinion. [...] Second one wins! Thank you, Naviii~ <3.

Danny could just intangible the stuff off him, but that would raise questions and also I want him to go the rest of the day stained with coffee. So it stays, and he's in a sour mood for a good chunk of the day. He runs into Cujo when he disappears down an empty hallway, and gets even more irritated when his ghost sense goes off - but hey! If it's Skulker, he can at least pulverize the dude and let off some steam. But nope! It's a puppy!

And Danyal Al Ghul, local ex-member of the world's most deadliest "we speak for the trees, the trees say fuck you" group of environmentalists ever, immediately feels his troubles melt away, and he croons at Cujo. "Oh hello, habibi. Who do you belong to?" And drops down to the ground to let Cujo sniff his hand. Cujo does so, and then starts vying for his attention, and Danny is grinning very wide and very genuinely and is more than happy to give it. "You are a much better surprise than that wretched poacher. Do you have a name, pretty thing?"

Cujo has a collar on, so Danny touches it, lifts the tag, and sees the Axion labs "A" symbol on it. He hums, narrows his eyes, and murmurs "Where have I seen this before?" But before he can flip it around, Cujo then turns monstrous. We cut to the title screen!

I want to say, the next scene is in Axion labs. The way that Damon (Val's dad), Valerie, those two guards, and his boss reacts, it heavily implies that the existence of ghosts have not reached the whole of Amity Park, and that the city itself is still largely unaware of their existence. Considering that Damon's security system doesn't allocate for ghosts, and when Danny crashes at their feet, Valerie literally asks him; "What are you!?" and she seems surprised when tucker later tells her its ghosts, and is even unaware that Danny's parents are ghost hunters.

When Valerie gets coated in dog ecto-slobber, Danny does grin a little under his little half-face balaclava. Because yes, karma! He is petty, and he can't help but flip to his feet and snarkily, smugly say; "I know what I'm not," and as he says this, he leans forward and plucks some of it out of her hair, "Covered in dog slobber." and then he flicks it away.

Before Valerie can retort, Cujo breaks into the lab, and Danyal mutters curses and bounds after him. The lab gets destroyed as per canon, and Damon gets fired.

The garage sale scene happens pretty normally, when Valerie says her little "oh great, word has already oozed down to the bottom of the social grapevine." Danny's response is snarkier than in canon.

"And here Tucker was just offering some simple help to you, you looked like you needed it." He says icily, and Tucker pipes up and says "we all just want to help!" because I don't fully see Danyal being that generous especially to someone being rude to his friends.

Sam dryly says "I don't." and Danny just stays silent, neither confirming nor denying anything. He just raises an eyebrow and turns his eyes to Tucker, who is laughing nervously.

"Well, Danny hasn't said no. So most of us want to help! That's two thirds." And he gestures awkwardly to Danny, who is wearing a red muscle tee hoodie, showing that he's rather lean. "And Danny's the strongest between the three of us, so he could be a big help! There could get a lot more work done."

Valerie is not convinced, as in canon. Although for my Gray Ghost heart she does check out Danny a little bit -- but quickly shakes it off because she's still very deeply entrenched in the status quo. "Thanks, but I'll pass."

Before Danny's ghost sense goes off, I do want him to wander around the yard sale for a moment just to see what's to offer -- collector of trinkets and pretty things, he is. Projecting, I am. Slightly GNC Danny ftw, it is. There's a table of jewelry up for sale that he's drawn over to -- and almost immediately disappointed by. It's pretty, and extravagant and very obviously expensive, that's for sure, but that's not the problem. Valerie sees him looking and marches over to him, still upset that he and his friends are still there.

"Put that down, that stuff is worth more than your own wardrobe." She snaps at him, and tries to snatch an expensive, luxury sapphire necklace from his hands, and is immediately met with an icy glare from Danny as he yanks it away from her fingers.

"Who says I can't afford it?" He says -- and he can't, not really, not with the allowance he gets from the Fentons and not with their funds. However, despite their limited contact, Danny still does meet with his beloved mother. One word from him to her, and she'd ensure he got a hundred of the very same necklace. "You? You can't either, Gray. Not anymore."

Valerie looks embarrassed and furious, but Danny continues, and tosses the necklace to her. She fumbles, but manages to catch it. "I don't want this junk anyways. It's gaudy and too western. I look better in gold."

Now his ghost sense goes off, and he turns away from Valerie. He doesn't run off immediately, lingers long enough to see who the ghost is and what the danger is. And when the ground begins to shake, he grabs onto the table and reaches out on protective instinct to hold onto Valerie before she can fall over.

As you can tell, this is for my gray ghost heart. Although valerie's clothes do still get destroyed by the street water, unfortunately. And Cujo shrinks down to size by the time Valerie makes it over to her dresser to try and grab it.

Danny audibly mutters, "Its that dog again." and hurries over to scruff the thing before it can wander off. Cujo is wagging his tail and immediately, enthusiastically licks his face once he's got him up to eye level. Danny cracks a little smile, "Hello habibi, you're a little troublemaker, aren't you?"

"you know this dog?" Valerie demands, and stomps over as Danny gets Cujo settled into his arms. Sam and Tucker hurry over as well, looking mildly frazzled.

Danny scoffs at her; "Don't be ridiculous. I met him a few days ago-- wait;" and he pauses to check to see if Cujo is a boy, "--ah, yep. Him. -- I met him a few days ago in the hallway after Sanchez dumped her coffee all over me. He was rather friendly, but he ran off before I could see who he belonged to."

Sam leans over to look at Cujo, and wiggles her finger at him; "He's kinda cute, and he likes you."

Dannny has a moment where he wants to boast, of course he does, I'm fantastic with animals. But instead he keeps mum. His smile just kinda softens proudly, and he hoists Cujo into his arms a little better.

The moment is shattered by Valerie, who points accusingly at Cujo. "Whatever it is, get it out of here before it ruins anymore of my stuff!"

Annnd before Danny can do just that, Cujo begins wiggling to get out of his arms and run around. He manages to, with his ghostly strength drag Danny across the lawn before yanking himself out of his arms and knocking them both onto the sidewalk -- scraping Danny's arm in the process -- and running around.

Rather than his leg, Cujo bites Danny's arm -- and has a strong enough grip on it that he unintentionally pierces flesh and causes him to start bleeding -- and begins dragging him. But before they can reach the moving van, Danny gets his fingers wrapped around Cujo's collar, finds some purchase -- even if it means his bare arm is being dragged against the sidewalk, and yanks hard on Cujo's collar with a harsh; "HEEL."

Cujo immediately stops, and sits. Danny honestly wasn't expecting that to work immediately, but it does! And with Cujo still, he keeps one firm hand on the collar and uses his other arm -- which is now painfully road rash'd and bleeding -- to help sit up.

Sam and tucker and Valerie rush over to help. "Oh my god, Danny, are you okay?" only for Danny to hold his bad arm up to stop them from getting closer, and whirling on Cujo to scold him. He's upset enough that he reverts back to Arabic, but Cujo seems to get the point across and wilts.

Danny feels bad, but can't show Cujo any affection unless he wants to accidentally reinforce the behavior. He points to his side, and Cujo obediently goes to sit but his feet. Now he turns to the other three.

"To answer your question." He looks down to his arm and very gently brushes his fingers against the road rash, brushing out the little pebbles stuck in his skin. it stings like a bitch, and he faintly grimaces. Then he inspects the dog bite on his wrist "I'll be fine."

Even Valerie looks worried; "That looks really bad, Fenton. I think you should go to the hospital--"

"No." Danny immediately cuts her off, "No hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Fenton keep a first aid kit at home, I'll just use that."

"And what about the dog?"

"I'll figure something out."

And then they scoot off.

Cafeteria scene goes as canon, nothing much to change there other than the fact that when Valerie sees Danny, his arm is all bandaged up and he's wearing a batman merch t-shirt rather than a muscle tee, she feels a little guilty. A small part of her kinda wants to ask how he is, but the larger part that's still big on the status quo and is still humiliated by being shunned by her friends, just wants to go eat in peace. So she doesn't say anything.

(although i am thinking that if she runs into him again later after the cafeteria scene, she asks him what he did with the ghost dog, and he lies and says Phantom swooped in and took Cujo from him.)

The park scene goes relatively the same as well, at least in the beginning. But instead of Sam and Phantom being all "he's an untrained dog" they're instead all "let's see what training he does have. Maybe it can be refined."

"You're good with animals Danny, and you're the only ghost in the area. You handle it." and then she tosses the dog obedience book at him and wanders off.

Danny doesn't need the dog obedience book, so he tucks it into a pocket dimension in his cape and whistles for Cujo. There's that whole tumble down the hill, that whole chase scene happens.

I do wanna say, I actually really like how inexperienced Valerie is here. Idk maybe it's because I haven't watched a tv show in a long while, but it's nice to see that she's not immediately good at it. She wobbles on the hoverboard, two out of the three disks she threw at Danny missed, and the third only hit him by chance. She's amateurish, and I really appreciate that.

"Let me guess, first day on the job, isn't it?" and he still gets cut by the third disk like in canon. He's not impressed or convinced when she says she's going to take him down -- it's one quick once over that tells him enough.

Wobbly feet, unsteady balance on the board. -- Her first time using it, she's unconfident and doesn't trust her own tech, as if she didn't even make it herself. She's unused to the board.

Improper trigger discipline, and shaky hands on her gun. She's holding it with one hand and far away from her like she's afraid of it going off, despite the fact that she's the one on the other end of it.

Tense all the way up to her shoulders, her voice is full of false bravado. She has no idea what she's doing. Danny's thoroughly unimpressed. At least the Drs. Fenton and Walker (maddie got her doctorate with her maiden name) trust their tech wholeheartedly and treat them as an extension of themself, just as Danny does with his blades. Just as this new ghost hunter does not.

And, of course, the way she goes flying off her board the moment she fires her bazooka. Although Cujo does still come to the rescue, although like in canon, he grabs Danny by the foot. Danny manages to recollect himself though and hoist himself over Cujo's back like he's riding a horse.

This is the biggest scene change and possibly my favorite change. The fakeout makeout scene. Now, let me preface this by saying that I love the fakeout makeout concept. I think it's hilarious, and I think it's even funnier if Danny is actually rather down with the concept because the assassin-undercover part of his brain thinks it's a simple-in-a-clever way in order to brush off suspicion. I think Sam and Tucker both are very down to kiss their very attractive best friend, and whenever it comes up there have been arguments over whose turn it is to kiss Danny.

BUT. I have an image in mind for this scene, so I want Danny to be alone for this. So Cujo takes him to a cluster of trees and bushes where Sam isn't at, and Danny sends him off with a ball as per canon, but rather than get tackled by Sam, he dives up into a tree and transforms back to Al Ghul before Valerie can reach him.

He is reading the Dog Obedience book, and scares the absolute shit out of Valerie. And it's never a bad day to hurt Danny, so little miss firstie over here fires into the trees, and juuuust about skims Danny's arm. The same one that has the road rash and dog bite on it, that he's forcibly prevented himself from rapidly healing because that would arouse suspicion.

"ماذا بحق الجحيم كان ذلك!؟" ("What the hell was that!?")

Valerie knows that voice, and instantly turns ashen. "Oh no." She flies up the tree and finds Danyal sitting snug amongst the larger limbs, the dog obedience book in his lap, and he's hunched slightly and holding onto his burned arm tightly.

"Oh my god, I-- I am so sorry--" she doesn't have the time to be upset (or snarky or mean) about why he's there, considering she just shot him. Danny snaps his head up and glowers furiously at her.

"Wh- why did you do that!?" He stammers over himself, trying to find his english. Part of it is an act, part of it is genuine anger because she could've killed him with that thing. He loathes incompetence, and she has it in buckets. "Watch where you're aiming that, Trigger Finger, you could've killed me!"

Valerie is all flustered and mortified, can't even find it to get angry back. "i- I am so sorry, Fenton. I thought you were something else--"

"Something else!?" Danny yells, "So you blindly shoot?! What is wrong with you!? Don't you know any trigger discipline!?"

Iiit's. a mess? Valerie offers him a lift to the hospital, or at least out of the tree, and Danny snarls at her not to touch him, and that he's not going anywhere with her on that hunk of sheet metal. He tosses the book at her and says to make herself useful and hold that while he gets down. Valerie feels really guilty -- too guilty to protest or be mad about how angry he is with her.

When he gets down from the tree he takes the book back from her, and then asks her how she even knows his name anyways. They've never met before. "Actually, now that I think about it," he narrows his eyes at her, "you sound like someone I know."

And then he reaches for her mask.

Valerie flies back, stammering over herself and briefly forgets to feel guilty in order to feel panicked and indignant, and then just goes "What are you doing!? You're crazy, we've never met before!" And then flies off.

And, before I continue, I will say right now. Danny, as himself, forever and always from then on refers to Red Huntress (or Scarlett Hunt, as I'm thinking of as an alternative) as "Trigger" or "Trigger Finger" respectively. Whenever they run into each other as Scarlett and Danny, he always calls her Trigger and asks if she's killed anyone yet. Valerie feels really bad from then on about hitting him, because where she hit him ends up scarring.

When she's gone, Danny mutters to himself that that sounded like Valerie, and goes ghost to go find Sam and tell her what happened.

Hallway scene stays the same, and -- actually, I was gonna make fun of the fact that Valerie didn't know the Fentons were ghost hunters when it's the whole reason the family is ostracized. But you know what? I can believe it. Kids will follow the crowds' lead. Witch hunts and all that.

"So, Tucker tells me your parents are ghost hunters!"

"Yeah? What else has he told you?"

Before Cujo shows up, they do actually manage to hold some kind of conversation. However, Danny uses the time to go: "Look, if you're planning on getting into ghost hunting, try not being like the hack I met yesterday."

Valerie laughs nervously, "Ah-hah, no of course not! But uh, hack?"

Danny scowls, and twists towards her with his arms crossed -- he's wearing a red hoodie today, and a band tee. -- "Yeah! I met some chick yesterday while at the park, and Little Miss Trigger Finger shot me." He says, "Your weapon should be like an extension of yourself, not something you just use! Trigger Finger was flailing that gun in her hands like it was a ribbon, and incompetence like that will get someone killed. Your weapon -- whether it be a blade or a firearm or a blunt object -- should be as easy to move as curling your fingers, and just as easy to trust. It should not be a stranger, but a part of you. A weapon must know how to use itself if it wants to be of any use to anyone else."

Sam cuts him off with a high pitched, nervous giggle, and wraps her fingers lightly around his shoulders and tugs him back, sliding her arms around the front of his chest like an anchor. "Danny." she hisses at him quietly, and Danny snaps his jaw shut and looks away.

Tucker also laughs uneasily, "Sorry," he says, leaning around Valerie to get her attention, "Dan here uh, gets really passionate about improper weapon handling. It's one of his quirks."

Danny looks away and mutters something under his breath in arabic.

(You know this already, but Sam and Tucker still don't know about Danny's past. But they've heard him talk about weapon mishandling enough times -- and have seen him fight -- to know that the way he talks is more than just theory. He has personal experience with weapons, and has unintentionally before referred to himself as one. But whenever they ask about it, he clams up and denies any sort of involvement.)

Valerie doesn't really know what to say to that, but Danny seems to know a lot about proper weapon discipline. So she might try her chances with getting to know more about it from him later, if she can catch him. She also silently makes note to get herself acquainted to her own tools like Danny was implying.

And then Cujo shows up, and things happen as canon. Oh but wait Tucker lands on Valerie while she's trying to figure out how to open the thermos, and I want to say that she hears him say "I can help you. valerie!" before he lands on her. So her confronting him after she gets out of the basketball hoop, and practically beegs him not to tell Danny about being the same girl who shot him. She really does think his help could be valuable in the long run because of his knowledge on ghosts and weapons.

Lovestruck Tuck of course, agrees. Not without some tentative hemming and going; "I don't know Val, Danny's really clever. He'll figure it out eventually if you don't do something to hide your voice, it's pretty recognizable."

For this episode, her voice stays the same but in the future she'll be working on a voice mod, and until then refuses to speak around Danny if she knows he's present. If she has to talk, then she forcibly tries deepening it.

Anyways things proceed as canon, Danny overhears the boss with Damon say "I know we should've never gotten rid of those guard dogs."

He mutters to himself "Guard dogs? Wait..." and he holds up Cujo, peering at his collar, and finally realizing where he recognizes the symbol on the tag. Immediately his expression darkens, "Oh fuck no, they did not."

Things go as canon, although Danny sneaks in not only to find what Cujo is looking for, but to hack in and get records of their guard dogs to confirm his theory and to steal them -- plus confirmation of termination of said dogs. So he can blackmail the shit out of Axion Labs later. He stays invisible and uses his league training to sneak around, and actually gets the guard dog records and confirmation before he runs into Valerie and they fight. Danny purposely keeps his distance and focuses more on dodging.

"you're a pretty lousy shot" Valerie says when he blasts above her a metal support beam above her.

Danny retorts sharply, "I could say the same." And although she can't see it, he bares his fangs at her. "Or have you forgotten about what you did to the ghost hunters' boy a few days ago?"

(He can be VERY petty)

Which, of course, infuriates and embarrasses Val. Things remain as is, Danny finds the squeaky toy, he tells Valerie he doesn't own the dog -- although he also says that he belongs to the very same Lab that fired her dad -- she refuses his apology, Tucker pretends to get caught by the Axion security lab. Etc etc.

Danny later reveals that he also stole the records about the guard dogs and how Axion Lab wrongfully euthanized all of them in favor of a security system they didn't even end up using, and was planning on anonymously releasing it online so that Axion could face the consequences for their abuse. Tucker has to beg him not to, because then that would reveal that someone else had gotten into the lab that night and would put Valerie's dad in hot water again.

Danny... reluctantly agrees. For now. But he'll be holding onto it, and keeping his eye on Axion Labs. This sort of cruelty will not go unpunished forever, he'll make sure of it.

ending goes as ending does. They go to the dumpty humpty concert, they speculate where Valerie got her suit. Etc etc. At the lunch table I think Valerie stops by Tucker and co's table to talk to Tucker -- they seemed to end on a good note that night -- and she asks Danny how his arm is.

Danny eyes her quietly, and turns his head away. "It'll heal, so long as Trigger Finger stays away from me." and he does see Valerie wilt a little, and kinda feels bad. But also, she fucking shot him. He's lowkey less angry about that tho and more angry about her total weapon incompetence

-------

When its just Tucker -- and ykw, Sam too, who Valerie would know knows she's Red since she was yk, right there next to Tucker when he fell on Valerie -- and Valerie, he tries to reassure her about Danny's apparently grudge against Scarlett Hunt.

"Aw, chin up Val, I'm sure Danny will come around to your alter ego eventually! He just.. needs some time to heal! Literally, because you... shot him."

and when Valerie realizes Sam knows too, Sam points her pen at her and goes: "The only reason I haven't told Danny is because Tucker is also my best friend," she leans into Valerie's space; "But so help me Moses, if you shoot Danny again, I will not hesitate to tell him. And i will, in a heartbeat."

She leans back, crossing her arms; "So you better learn to control your finger, Trigger."

-

Danny having beef with Red Huntress in his civilian form was not actually in the original cards for this episode, but it came to me as I was writing and I could not pass it up. I think it'd be hilarious and also like, a real point of idk conflict for Valerie. Just one more reason she wants to be abetter ghost hunter because otherwise she'll hurt people -- shooting Danny left a mark on her, and she feels really really guilty about it. Especially after finding out it scarred.

And also it's like, objectively hilarious? It's like the Love Square from MLB but its more like a Hate Square instead. Granted Val and Danny don't hate each other but my point still stands! It's there if you squint.

Every single time Danny runs into Scarlett he calls her Trigger and asks her how her aim is, and whether she knows how to use that weapon of hers. Valerie is both very frustrated by his unwillingness to forgive her and very ashamed by the fact that she's frustrated by it. He has every right to be mad at her, she could've seriously hurt him -- and she did -- but still, his animosity is grating sometimes.

Danny does eventually get over her shooting him in his civilian form -- considering she shoots him all the time as a ghost. But what he refuses to get over is the fact that it happened at all and her lack of proper discipline before she decided to jump into the fray.

No no no, that he is still burning furious about. Tucker wasn't kidding when he said that Danny was passionate about proper weapon handling. The fact that Valerie didn't even acquaint herself with her weapons and learn how to use them properly before deciding to hunt down Cujo and Phantom is the thing that keeps his burning "hatred" against Scarlett as Fenton going.

Idk if it's ever actually confirmed that Valerie and Tucker are dating, its kinda implied that they started. But I'm gonna say that they were only in a talking stage (one that Valerie only initiated for her own needs) and after this episode it doesn't go anywhere, but they remain kinda friends. That way, Valerie can show up a few more times prior to Flirting With Disaster and lowkey hang with the gang without Tucker and Valerie actually dating.

So i was actually going to share a few more headcanons too with Gray Ghost, and delve into the "Flirting with Disaster" episode, but this got... really long, and took me all evening to write (curse adhd) so I am. not going to go into that jadlfh. Plus I have to think more about them and come up with more cute headcanons.

Like how Danny calls her affectionate petnames when they're dating/sorta-dating the moment he settles into the relationship and becomes comfortable with it. One morning when he walked into a class that they shared, he smiled at her all warm and fondly said "Good morning, beloved."

And normally that might sound too strong in the fledgling beginning of a relationship, but Danny somehow manages to make it sound super natural and not at all too-much-too-soon.

Literally everyone's jaw dropped in that room. They've never seen Danny act that way, and Valerie somehow manages to invent a new shade of maroon on her dark skin. She does this cute little giggle-snort and waves her hand at him bashfully. Danny looks very endeared.

Paulina turns to Dash and angrily demands to know why he doesn't call her any cute petnames that aren't babe.

Oh and before I forget: As Phantom, Danny calls Scarlett Hunt either "Scar" or "Little Red Riding Hood" (or some variant). It pisses her off, which he does really like doing. Also, compared to how he fights ghosts, he goes remarkably easy on her. He doesn't even unsheathe his sword for her -- which she does eventually notice and gets angry about. She thinks he's doing it to look down on her.

When it's not. She is Squishy Fragile Living Human In A Meat Shell. He is Immortal Ghost With Powers. And A Sword. And A Decade Of Assassin Training. He could kill her a dozen different ways if he didn't hold back like he is, and he doesn't want her dead.

okay okay that's all I've got for now BUT, as a bonus, while I was making those three different scenes for the coffee splash scene, I stopped midway because I got art bunnies for danny for the first time in forever, and went ahead and drew him. So!! Things in Threes Danyal doodle be Upon Ye!

[some-beans]

can i request a yandere muzan x reader?- where the reader was a former caretaker of muzan and they were close. And when the reader came down with pneumonia and was near death. The doctor who turned muzan into a demon turned her into a demon too. But she was immune to the sun blah blah. Muzan being the possessive lil b- he is tried to lock her away, but we escaped. It was a constant game of cat and mouse for a thousand years until one day he got his lil chubby baby hands on her.

oh ho ho ho i do love me some yandere here and there sorry if took a while to come out !! and since you used she/her pronouns when describing, i'm gonna use those if that's all gucci !!

✎...pairing: yandere!kibutsuji muzan x fem!caretaker!reader ✎...themes: yandere, stalking, kidnapping, forced demon turning ✎...notes: female reader, I DO NOT CONDONE YANDERE ANYTHING THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION ✎...enjoy !!

at the start muzan genuinely cared for you, considering you took care of every beck and call he had

especially when his health continued to decline

he felt like you were the only stable thing in his life, so much so, he had planned to ask you to be his wife once he got better

if he ever got better

despite this, it didn't stop him from giving you suave smiles and promises of a married future together ー which you giggled and playfully swatted your hand at his shoulder

but all changed when that doctor gave him that medicine

after the estate massacre, muzan found you in a state of shock. which caused your body to grow weak and pneumonia to settle in

having been turned into a demon, killing his family, and now finding you on death's door ー clearly not going live long enough for you two to marry and have a family ー muzan's mind crumbled

in his broken spiral, he managed to see that was still some of the medicine the doctor used to 'help him'

so with tears in his eyes and a manic smile, he has you sit up ー coughing and asking what's going on ー and had you drink the solution

and since then, your life has been a prison

seeing as you two were the same, both of you had figured that the sun would be your demise

but that wasn't until these swordsmen who called themselves demon slayers started to appear

you had been cornered ー muzan left in a hurry and had mistakenly forgotten you ー and decided that dying to the sun was better than dying by their blades

and you ran

and you lived

you felt like a free bird

human again

but that made muzan a horrible trainwreck

he searched high and low for you for centuries

using any and all demons to find you along you the blue spider lily

but because you could walk under the sun, it proved to be like finding a needle in a haystack

over the years, muzan's crumbling mentality came to a halt once his upper moon two managed to catch you

granted, douma almost die five times but he succeeded nonetheless

and now you're his to keep, like a pretty bird in a cage

[yourjughead]

Begin Again

Sweet Pea X Reader Oneshot

Synopsis: Sweet Pea is longing to have you be his again after a drunken mistake he made a few years ago.

A/N: Short-ish, fluffy.

----------------------------

“Pea, do we have to do this every day?”

“Only until you say yes YNN” the tall Serpent practically towered over you as he leaned across the Whyte Wyrm bar top where you polished glasses.

“SP, give it a break, you're sounding desperate” Fangs smirked at his best friends daily ritual, sliding onto a barstool next to him.

“I'm just looking for another chance is all”

“Pea one of these days I'm gonna roll my eyes so hard at you I'm gonna go blind” you gently patted his shoulder smilingly before moving down the bar to take another Serpents drink order. Jugheads birthday party getting into the full swing of things.

“You've worked so hard to get back to this place SP, are you sure you want to risk losing it all again”

“Fangs, I just know we're supposed to be more but maybe it's time to just call it” Sweet Pea watched your outline drift into the sea of Serpents as you moved from behind the bar with a tray of drinks. You had known one another for over two decades, raised in the shadow of this very bar. Partners in crime with a healthy dose of one-sided outwards pining but mutual feelings. The two of you had dated before, it crashing and burning almost two years ago.

Sweet Pea scanned the room, his gaze landing on Veronica Lodge, laughing with her Riverdale counterparts.

“Ugh I know that look” Fangs followed his glance before taking a swig from his drink.

“What?”

“That's the, let me jump on the next thing that moves and pretend it's yn because that's who I really want but can't have, look”

“Sounds like it needs a rebrand” Sweet Pea chuckled in return before pushing off the bar and strolling over to reacquaint himself with the raven haired girl boss. He squished into the booth alongside the Northsiders and began to work his magic on Veronica as you rejoined Fangs at the bar, apron and drink in hand.

“Finished for the night YNN?”

“Yeah, right on time to watch that trainwreck” you plastered a smile across your face that didn't quite reach your eyes as you took a deep drink from your glass and threw the apron around the other side of the bar.

“I know you want him back and you're scared what happened…will happen again”

“Woah Dr. Fogarty when's the daytime advice show airing?” you laughed as Fangs joined you. Fangs passed his drink from his hand to yours, taking your empty glass. You tore your eyes from the booth and landed them on Archie Andrews, back fresh from active duty. He moved through the crowd heading back to his friends from the bathroom.

“Oh god, not that look”

“What?”

“That's the, let me jump on the next thing that moves and distract myself from the deep unresolved feelings I have towards Sweet Pea, look”

“A rebrand should be considered” he laughed at you and your similarities to Sweet Pea. He considered a career in behavioural psychology as you sprung from your chair with a fresh drink and swanned over to Archie.

The night took a very drunk turn from there, for all parties involved. Dancing and drinking and shameless flirting were heavy themes of the night. You felt Archie's hands trace your hips as you both swayed to the music growing in volume. Throwing your head back laughing at whatever Archie said, his mouth quickly attached to your neck. Your surprise turned to rising pleasure and then very quickly to shock as the red head was suddenly pulled back from you.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself Andrews!” Sweet Pea stepped between the both of you, pushing Archie backwards by the chest.

“Sweet Pea leave it” you tried to pull him by the shoulder back only to have him shrug you off and whip around back to you.

“You're being stupid YN” you scoffed at him as Archie began to give out again. Sweet Pea whirled around, his bare fist meeting the side of Archie's jaw. Fangs launched himself from the bar, Jughead following suit, attempting to separate the two of them as they began to brawl. Your head started to swirl from the alcohol, fed up with the boys in front of you, you separated from them, and out the door.

You made it a little way along the road up from the bar as Sweet Peas drunken gait met you.

“YN, where are you going!?”

“Away from you!” You shouted back, matching his tone. He reached you quickly, catching your wrist and turning you to face him.

“Let go of me!”

“YN when are we going to stop pretending you don't still have feelings for me!” His wild eyes searched yours for answers, wishing to not hear what you said next.

“When are you going to stop pretending you didn't hurt me!” You snatched back your wrist and stomped in the direction of home again.

“YN, that was a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake, she didn't mean anything to me-”

“-then why'd you do it?” You suddenly turned again, bumping into his chest. The street lights cut through the night as you bite back alcohol induced tears.

“I… I don't have any excuses. I've said I'm sorry but I'll say it again, I'll never stop saying it. I made out with that girl. I did and I have never not regretted it, I'm sorry” you looked into his genuine eyes as they dampened with tears. He caught hold of your shoulders and stepped in closer.

“YN, I am sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I said I'd be happy to have you in my life even just as a friend, that I'd make peace with whatever scraps you'd give me but….I need you. I need you to be mine again and I need you to need me” he gulped at the end of his confession and then leaned in to meet your lips. A flush of memories enveloped both of you, warm and comforting, familiar and pure. You separated again, dismay painting your face but not as much as Sweet Pea’s when the palm of your hand sailed across his face.

“That…That was for drunkenly kissing that girl the first night we went long distance” you then shoved him backwards, tears now streaming down your face as you gritted out “That…that was for once again getting behind the walls I built to keep you away” you grabbed the collar of his shirt then, hauling him back to you again. He went willingly, too dumbfounded to put up a fight. You pulled him down to meet your lips again prior to pushing him back, still holding his collar.

“And that…that was for making me want to try again” he gently lowered down your hands, keeping them in his. You rested your head off his chest, he dropped your hands and draped his arms over you, pulling you in. You both stood there for a long time in the glow of the street lights above you.

“Fangs owes me 100$”

“Why?” you laughed into him, reaching for his hand and pulling him into a walk again, not really sure what direction you were heading in.

“He said I'd never wear you down again, bet 100$ two years ago when we started being friends again”

“You owe me half of that” you smiled.

“I owe you everything

[141trash]

rating: sfw (brief mentions of sex, but no graphic anything)

Captain John Price x Reader

AN: Somehow this ended up with very little actual Price in it, but I have plans and he will be more prominent. I just have word vomit rn and needed to get everything down

imagine having a one time fling with Price after your husband leaves you for another one because you just can't seem to get pregnant and he wants a family.

It was a good romp, he was a bit gruff, but was super sweet afterwards with the aftercare. he even stayed to buy you breakfast the next morning. Months later you've been focused on yourself, getting your life together and learning what it means to move on.

Only you've been feeling rather ill the last couple days. And then you remember you're late. Which isn't entirely unusual, sometimes you miss a period when you're stressed and the last couple months finding your feet have been stressful. Still you go to the doctors and its there you remember your night with Price, definitely can't remember if he used a condom or not, and you know you hadn't been on birth control since previously you'd been trying for a baby.

Oops you're pregnant.

The timeline fits that it's his and not your now ex-husband's and part of you is instantly hugely relieved about that.

You leave the doctor's office in a bit of a daze. It doesn't sink in until you're stumbling your way into the cafe you own/manage and you promptly dissolve into a fit of tears in the backroom, much to your teeny bopper part timer's utter horror.

Pregnant. You're fucking pregnant. You're elated, over the moon because you had always wanted kids. (yeah adoption's a thing, but in some places its really hard to adopt if you're single and you weren't ready for another relationship after the last trainwreck). You're also fucking terrified because holy shit you have no plan. Nothing is ready. You live in a tiny flat in the city with one bedroom because why would you need more than that?

Your friend appears in the back room as your mind is going a million miles a minute, turns out your part timer had panicked and called her. You breakdown again in her arms and tell her the news. She reminds you that you're not alone even though you're not in a relationship and that you will have all the support that you need.

With her help you start to prepare for the baby. Things move quickly, you're so busy getting things ready, searching for a larger flat, buying things, filling your head with every single bit of parenting knowledge you can get your head on. All your regular customers say that you're glowing, they've never seen you happier.

You've recorded every little thing since finding out you were pregnant. kept print outs of every scan. More than once you find yourself staring out the window, guiltily wondering about whether or not Price would have wanted to know. Not that you have any way of contacting him. You knew he was military, from the dog tags he'd had hanging around his neck, but not much more.

The first time you feel the baby kicking is when you're in the middle of a shift. Its the slow time of day so you're cleaning up the tables when you gasp suddenly. The girl behind the counter is by your side in an instant, babbling questions making sure you're okay. She's sweet and like your friend has been beside you since you found out.

"I'm fine Cally. The baby kicked." you announce, beaming brightly. She squeals and begs to be allowed to feel next time the baby kicks. Before you can do more the bell above the door dings and you both automatically turn, your customer service smiles back on. Only.

"John?" Your mouth drops open in surprise. Standing there looking oddly sheepish is the man you hadn't thought you'd ever see again. The man whose baby was currently kicking as if demanding your attention.

His eyes sweep over you appreciatively, though when he sees your obvious pregnancy he freezes. The shock of seeing him makes your legs weak. Cally lets out a panicked yelp when you knees buckle, but he's already darting forward, catching your arms gently and helping you to a seat.

"Careful there sweetheart." he says and god does that warm your chest. You remember the last time you heard him say that, it had been when you'd bumped into him in the bar.

"What are you doing here?" you ask breathlessly as Cally scurries off to get you a drink and he glances at you for permission before pulling a chair up next to you.

"Remembered you talking about your dream of opening a café. When i got back to town I spotted the name nd wondered if it was just a coincidence." he tells you, but you can see his eyes keep drifting towards your stomach. He's obviously trying to figure out if its his. But it takes a moment for you to respond because you can't believe that he remembered that. It'd been an offhanded comment you'd made while the two of you had been enjoying late night takeout before going at it another round.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts you put a hand over his, biting your lip, "Listen. I. I don't want you to feel obligated or anything. I would have told you sooner only I didn't have any way to contact you."

"It's mine." he says for you. You nod, cursing inwardly when tears start to sting your eyes.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself.

"Like I said. I'm doing fine. I don't expect anything from you. I've got a plan. I'm looking for bigger flats."

He stares at you in silence, expression unreadable. You worry for a minute about what he's going to say. You've been prone to overthinking everything since becoming pregnant and now suddenly having the father of your child reappearing in your life. It's a lot.

John squeezes your hand gently halting the panic as you look back up at him.

"I would very much like to be able to meet the kid when they get here. If you'd let me." he tells you hesitantly, "Being in the Military I don't know how often I'd be able to be around, but if you let me I'd like to be in their life."

All of your emotions flood you like a tidal wave at his confession. You burst into tears, letting him pull you into a firm, but careful hug.

"Yes. Of course. I just didn't want you to feel like I was pressuring you. You have every right to know them too." You promise tearfully, smiling at him as he thumbs the tears from your cheeks.

He insists on exchanging numbers so he can contact you and in case you need anything. He won't always be able to answer, but he promises to do his best. Then he bashfully asks if you'll tell him about what's happened so far. Shyly you tell him you've written the entire experience and kept the scans.

He eventually leaves you to get back to work, but the copy of the ultrasound photos you kept in your wallet is tucked into his jacket pocket and he promised to meet you at your flat for dinner and to collect your pregnancy journal so he can catch up on everything.

[chronicowboy]

Eddie knew this was going to be a trainwreck ever since the moment Buck asked Cap if he could bring Natalia to the Grant-Nash barbecue. Now, of course, he had assumed it'd be mainly an internal trainwreck on his part, aching at the sight of Buck's arm around her waist, gritting his teeth as he smiles at her and attempts to be overtly polite. He just didn't expect the trainwreck to breach containment quite so spectacularly.

Its just...

Natalia says something about Buck's death being awesome and the entire garden falls deathly silent. Bobby's face freezes like he's caught in some terrible memory, whether its smoke or rain he's smelling, Eddie couldn't tell you. Hen steadies herself on Karen's arm, and Eddie is only the slightest bit bitter that the person he'd steady himself on isn't his to be steadied by. Maddie's eyes fill with tears almost instantaneously, and Chimney wraps her up, his own face tight with grief. Athena doesn't react beyond a poorly concealed scowl. Even Christopher has stopped playing with Denny to stare.

Still, its not quite a trainwreck until Christopher meets Eddie's eyes. The devastation on his face is enough to have the words falling off Eddie's tongue before he can bite them back.

"Awesome?" Eddie chokes out, swinging his gaze over to the happy couple. His eyes land on Buck, however, a ghostly pale, tight and drawn Buck. "What about it was awesome exactly?"

"Well, I mean, its pretty spectacular you have to admit," Natalia says, a hint of apprehension lining her words.

"Oh, sure. Spectacular. That's exactly how I'd describe it." Eddie nods, lets a cold, rueful laugh bubble up from inside of him and it feels like its been building ever since he joked about lightning striking twice. "What exactly about it was spectacular? His heartbroken sister sobbing in a hospital hallway, wondering if she'd have to watch another brother die? Oh, or was it his captain praying desperately by his bedside because he couldn't bear the thought of losing another child? Was that spectacular? Or was spectacular his brother-in-law's guilt heavy with grief and anchoring him to the hospital room because he thought he was supposed to be the one on the ladder? No." Eddie shakes his head, eyes darting to Buck's blank shock. "Do you know what was really spectacular? The eleven-year-old boy in the hospital waiting room begging to see his Buck on the brink of death just to ask him to come back. Was that spectacular?"

"N-no, of course not," she stammers out, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just..."

Eddie ignores her, eyes locked onto Buck's faraway stare. He takes a step closer, tries not to preen when Buck's eyes immediately focus on him.

"You think she sees you?" Eddie asks, voice raw and way too honest for an entire family and a stranger to hear. "She can't see past the lightning bolt, Buck. But I've been here the whole time." Its here that his voice breaks, cracking into an ugly, pained whisper. "Seeing you, just waiting for you to see me too." He squeezes his eyes shut, shakes his head, takes a step back. "Chris, its time to go, come on."

Eddie grabs their jackets from where they're folded over the back of a garden chair and puts a hand on Christopher's back when he's close enough. Eddie doesn't look back as they disappear into the house, but he catches Maddie's mumbled thank you when they pass.

The ride home is silent, Christopher's eyes teary and Eddie's throat still clogged with the words he left unsaid. They'll talk when they get home. Eddie will ask Buck to talk later too, not an apology for the words, but for how they were said.

Its fine, they have time.

But the blare of truck horns feels a lot like a wake up call.

[wttcsms]

10:57pm +++ Mr rin itoshi !!!

— 10:57 pm

when you peer through the peephole of your apartment's door, you don't expect to be transported directly back to the past.

but there he is, looking more familiar to your memories than you would like him to. messier hair, maybe, and a slouch that's a bit unbecoming of him, but it's him. no amount of time could help you forget about him; you could recognize his shadow in a dark room.

rin itoshi is banging on your apartment door. it's almost eleven at night, and you know that he prefers an earlier bedtime than most, but he's not in bed. he's right here. at your doorstep.

and it shouldn't make your stomach do that excited churn that always happens when rin acknowledges you. it's the same excited feeling that you got early on in your relationship with him; you felt it every time you saw his name pop up on your notifications, and every time he took your hand into his on those first few dates. the exhilarating rush of being wanted — but most importantly, being wanted by someone who you want, too.

you're only opening the door so he doesn't end up being mocked on everyone's twitter feeds in the morning. that's the excuse you use, anyway. chances are, no one is ever going to know that professional football star, rin itoshi, ended up at some nondescript apartment complex after a celebratory night out. however, it's easier to say that than to admit that you're always going to jump at the chance to let rin in.

when you open the door to allow your ex(?) (can he even be an ex if the two of you were never truly a couple?) in, you don't expect him to point an accusatory, albeit shaky, finger at you and boldly ask you,

"why are you ghosting me?"

it's too late at night and you're too tired to keep your guard up, so you just gape at him, mouth open, eyebrows raised in an almost cartoon-like, comical shocked way. you have your hair bunched up around your head haphazardly and your designated pajama tee has an ice cream stain on it and you've got your loosest pants on. you might regret not playing it cool when you look back on this interaction in the future, but the fact of the matter is, you lost all opportunity at nonchalance the moment you unlocked your door.

everything else that is embarrassing is just the icing on this trainwreck of a cake.

only rin itoshi, you suppose, is the right combination of bold, drunken idiot, and just socially inept enough to confront the ghoster about behind ghosted. because who in their right mind asks that?

everyone knows that the minute you get ghosted, you have to either move on or pretend to. you hop to the next person who is going to be your fixation for the month and the topic of your groupchat's conversations, and you pretend that you don't hope every notification that appears on your screen is him texting you (and you also must pretend that the sick waves of disappointment when it turns out it isn't him aren't absolutely soul-crushing). you don't make a big deal out of deleting his contact (even though you have never saved any other situationship's number in your phone before), and you're just so fucking unbothered that you even went out of your way to blacklist any articles or tweets that contain his name, his team, or even his jersey number.

"nobody asks that question." you tell him, instead of answering him. "nobody with some self-respect and social awareness, at least."

it's a jab at him, but rin doesn't seem to care. that's the thing about rin — he's really good at that. either not caring or pretending not to care, you're not so certain. you just know that the impassive expression on his face hurts all the same.

"i'm drunk." he says, and before you can give him a yeah, i can tell, he's continuing. "and i miss you."

"maybe you miss me because you're drunk. if you wake up tomorrow feeling the same way, maybe we can talk."

you're trying to put your foot down and maintain a strong image, but you know yourself too well to be fooled by your own lies. there's no maybe about it. he could wake up and hate your guts tomorrow, and you'd still want him to tell you it because it at least means he's speaking to you.

"i wake up missing you all the time. does that count?"

your mom told you once that men are like food — anything that looks that good cannot be good for your health. and looking at rin, all lean limbs and long lashes; high cheekbones and that pretty boy pout, is absolutely detrimental to your wellbeing. you should kick him out and slam the door and put a chair underneath the locked doorknob for good measure, but your heart sings with that drunken confession of his, and you know you're a goner.

"don't joke around like that." but there's no conviction in your voice, just a sort of desperate longing that changes the meaning of your words to please don't say those sort of things if you don't mean it.

"is that why you're ignoring me? because you think i was joking about everything?"

"i didn't— i wasn't— ugh. you ghosted me first!" admitting it out loud somehow brings back all the hurt from when it actually happened. maybe that's why you had enough sense to never admit it, but rin itoshi does something to you. he makes your brain shut down. all sense of self-preservation evaporates when he's in your vicinity.

confusion flickers across his face. his stupidly cute face with his stupid blue eyes and his stupid strands of hair that hang in his face no matter how many times he aggressively pushes it back. your heart breaks with every second of silence that passes by, and then hope that it can be pieced back together again appears when he looks at you, all sincere seriousness and more soberingly alert than he's looked all night, as he asks,

"i did?"

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 32

Tagging: @ophelialaufey @madamemaximoff06 @forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27 @shroomje

Oystein had woken up early the next morning and sat against the headboard watching Y/n sleep. She had already cleaned the smudged paint from her face so she wouldn't stain the pillow but he hadn't bothered. When she woke up and caught him staring she smiled at him.

She got out of bed, completely naked and walked into his bathroom before returning with a wash cloth and what looked like some sort of makeup remover. She started cleaning his face carefully and noticed what he was holding in his hand.

"You miss him." She looked at a picture of him and Pelle that she hadn't seen before that he must have kept in his nightstand. The way she said it was more of a fact and not a question.

"I miss how things used to be...before it all went to shit." He said simply.

"Everything isn't shit Oystein." Y/n sighed softly.

"I just feel like I'm losing control of all the things in my life." He confessed and she leaned forward kissing his forehead.

"I think we're doing pretty well. That's a plus." She reminded.

"You're the only thing that's going right and that scares the shit out of me. I'm just waiting for you to realize you're saddling yourself with a fucking failure." Oystein tossed the picture on the nightstand and Y/n shook her head.

"Hey I'm not going anywhere okay? You've got to stop thinking I am just because everything else is kind of shit right now. Whatever you want to do, I'm with you." She reassures him tucking some of his hair behind his ear. He looked at her a bit concerned.

"Y/n I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a fucking trainwreck. My band is on hiatus, Varg wants me dead and I've got a meeting with the landlord about Helvete which probably means I'm going to lose it. It's fucking hopeless." Oystein complain and Y/n could see he was really going through it. She got up once again and grabbed her bag from the couch before plopping down in front of him once again, rummaging through her stuff.

"What are you looking for?" He asked confused but she pulled out what he thought was a makeup compact. Inside was a folded up piece of paper.

"Do you know what this is?" She asked him with a smile. He nodded. She opened it up and he saw the scribble of the Mayhem symbol on the back of it.

"Is that-"

"The comment you left in the suggestion box? Yes." She smirked proudly.

"You carry it around?" He asked surprised.

"Of course I do. It's the only one I've ever gotten and its from you." She laughed.

"It's also the moment I knew I was falling for you." She blushed making him smile.

"Yeah? I don't even remember what I put on it if we're being honest." He admitted. She turned it around and handed it to him.

"Food is great, service is the amazing. Y/n, every thing you touch turns to fucking gold. All I want in the world is to be touched by you." She had memorized it and Oystein covered his face.

"Fuck that's cringey as shit." He was embarassed but she pulled his hands away from his face.

"Yeah it absolutely was but it was a very sweet thing to put in a comment box where anyone could have seen it. You let yourself be cringey and vulnerable just to tell me that I was special." She kissed his hands and he let out a sigh.

"Everything I touch is gold right?" She gripped the side of his face and kissed him softly. She could feel the tension in his body release as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her into his lap. He leaned his forehead against her head and she could feel him shaking slightly.

"So much has happened since Pelle killed himself...with burning down the churches, Varg talking to the media...Faust...he killed a guy in a park." He felt Y/n tense. He looked up into her eyes and saw shock and fear.

"No matter what I do, I'm trapped in all of this mess. I might not have created it all by myself but the last thing I want is for it to bleed out on you. They could come for me one day, Varg or the police, I can't let you get hurt in this." Oystein pressed. Y/n stroked his face carefully.

"Listen to me okay? I know you're scared. I'm scared too but the only thing I know is that when I'm with you, I feel like I can be whoever I want to be, do whatever I want to do. You give me the courage to try new things and be exactly who I want to be. You make me unafraid because I know I'll have you even if this all goes to hell." Y/n lifts his chin up and he nods at her.

"That has nothing to do with me. You were tough when we met." He gave her a soft smile and she placed her hand on his heart.

"Well then trust me when I say I've got you baby." She presses.

"And if they come at us with pitchforks?" He joked but Y/n leaned over towards her bag again and pulled out a handful of things.

"Mace, knife, taser..." She showed him what she was carrying. His eyes went wide when she hit the button on the taser.

"Fuck, you just carry that shit around with you?" He asked surprised.

"I didn't used to. I started when Varg started threatening me." She explained seeing Oystein's eyes shift.

"We aren't going out without a fight baby." Oystein knew he was the one that should traditionally be the strength in a relationship but nothing about them was traditional. He liked that he could trust in Y/n's ability to take care of herself. He liked that she could say things to him and put his mind at ease despite the shit show he found himself in on the daily.

"Can I ask you something?" Oystein finally spoke after a few moments of silence between them .

"Anything." She responds.

"Would you consider moving in with me?" He was trying to be careful with his tone so she didn't feel pressured but she held a confused smile.

"What? Why do you want me to-" She couldn't even get it out.

"You make everything better. Waking up to you, eating dinner with you, fuck- hanging out on the couch is just...I want you here all the time. I want to leave the shop knowing I'm coming home to you." Oystein explained and she cupped his cheek.

"Yeah? You like coming home to me?" She smirked.

"I do. I like coming home and seeing you walking around in your panties and one of my shirts." He pushes Y/n onto her back and lays her down.

"I like wrapping my arms around you while you cook something and getting to run my hands down your thighs." She closed her eyes as he ran his fingertips down her neck, over her tits all the way to her thighs.

"I like knowing that at any point, I can lay you on the bed and fuck you whenever I want to." He let his hand grip her throat and she bit her lip.

"This place isn't my home, you are." He leaned down and licked her bottom lip before kissing her roughly. She tried to catch her breath but his hand squeezed lightly before finally letting go and pulling back to look down at her.

"I would love to move in with you." She smiled up at him with red swollen lips that he was just practically chewing on.

"Yeah?" He asked surprised. She let out a laugh and put her hand on his as it rested on her breast.

"Yeah." She liked the idea that they could truly start something fresh with one another. Oystein had so much talent and always kept his mind open to new ideas. She wanted to start a new chapter with him.

[lovelytsunoda]

typical male // pato o’ ward

summary: pato is nothing if not a simp for his girlfriend, the most wonderful woman on the planet, in his eyes. or, all the little moments that made pato o' ward feel like the luckiest man on earth

pairing: pato o ward x female! reader

warnings: smut scene, inappropriate use of a mclaren, fucking on the hood of said mclaren, pato is a simp and cannot go five minutes during the act without telling her how pretty she is. weddings and talk of. pato is the boyfriend we all deserve, a game of giant jenga played at a wedding reception (and may end a few friendships)

Tell me lawyer what to do, I think I'm falling in love with you

(..)

All I want is a little reaction, just enough to tip the scales. I'm just using my female attraction, on a typical male, on a typical male

i

the garage smelled like grease and pennzoil, the hood of pato's mclaren popped open and a bluetooth speaker in the corner blasting a playlist of blues-inspired rock and roll from the seventies and eighties. ac/dc. guns n roses. the usual.

pato didn’t mean to stop and stare, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself, leaning against the doorframe, eyes trained on his lovers ass, barely covered by her grease stained cutoff shorts.

she took his breath away.

"hey, beautiful." pato hummed, slipping his arms around her waist, gently kissing her neck.

"pato, i'm covered in grease, wearing the rattiest shorts i own and i'm not wearing a bra." y/n laughed, lacing her fingers with his. "i feel like a trainwreck."

"but you look incredible, love." pato insisted, peppering her face with kisses. his embrace was warm and comforting, a reassuring presence in her life.

pato made her feel complete, like she was the only girl in the world.

"and you know what no bra means." the driver hummed in between kisses. "easy. access."

"at least let me close the hood first." she giggled under his kiss, slamming the hood of the electric blue sports car down and wiping the grease off her hands as pato slipped his hands up her shirt, gently playing with her nipples. she moaned under his touch, heat growing between her thighs.

"lean down over the hood, mamas." pato hummed. "wanna see your beautiful body."

the hood of the car was cold against her skin, shirt still pushed up over her breats, making her jump in surprise. behind her, pato laughed, gently tracing the linework carnation tattooed on her back, just above the hem of her denim shorts.

"you okay, pretty girl?"

"your car is freezing, jesus!"

"sorry, corazon. we can head inside if you want?"

y/n snorted, resting her head on her folded arms as she looked back at her lover. "you and i both know that we aren't going to make it back to the bedroom."

pato laughed, playfully smacking her ass before pressing himself against her, fingers fumbling with buttons. "god, baby, i need you. i need you all the time, yeah, you looked so fucking sexy bent over my car like that."

"you need a new fan belt, by the way." she moaned, unable to speak as her boyfriend slid her shorts down her legs, revealing her lacy fuchsia panties. "yours is cracking."

"i love it when you talk dirty to me." pato laughed, half moaning as he undid his belt. "but i'm more concerned with taking care of my pretty girl than my car."

"mhm, spank me, papi." y/n joked, shaking her ass in pato's direction. she loved that she could goof around with him, that pato didn't take himself too seriously in the heat of the moment.

"do you have a good grip on the car?" pato asked softly, running his soft hands up and down her spine, giving her full body shivers. "i don't want you to get hurt or anything."

"baby, i'm fine. honestly, i'm shocked we haven't fucked on your car before." she giggled, reaching back to hold pato's hand. "you know that if anything feels off, i'll tell you."

pato gently let go of her hand, reassuringly tracing circles on her thigh as he used his other hand to tease his cock up and down her entrance, making sure that she was ready to take him.

he slipped in gently, listening and watching for any sign of discomfort before y/n reached once again for his hand, signaling that it was okay for him to start to move.

pato's pace was relentless as she moaned underneath him, whining his name as she squeezed his fingers.

"yes, pato! fuck, just like that."

"that's it, corazon. you're doing so well for me, yeah? so beautiful. so fucking beautiful and i wish you could see yourself the way that i see you every fucking day."

ii

the room was dark, the mirrorball hanging from the ceiling refracting the party lights against the wall. the music was loud, the singing bad as y/n and cate, callum illotts girlfriend, took to the stage, singing a duet of ‘the best’ by tina turner.

“i know that look.” alex palou laughs, clapping pato on the shoulders as he stares at his fellow testing drivers awestruck expression, the stars in his eyes as he watched his girlfriend butcher tina turners greatest hit.

felix rosenvquist snorts, looking over at alex “has he told you that he’s spent the last hour debating whether it not he should ask y/n to marry him tonight?”

“marriage?” alex snorted “dude, you’re still so young, why tie yourself down like that?”

“what if I want to be tied down? i love her and I want to spend my life with her” pato said matter-of-factly, pulling a small velvet box out of his khakis

“we aren’t going to stop you, but that perfect moment isn’t just going to present itself.” felix shrugged. “you have to make the moment yourself.”

back onstage, the song was ending, cate and y/n collapsing into laughter fuelled by adrenaline and sugar. the light refracted off her skin, making her glow like some kind of neon goddess in the nightlight.

“before I get off this stage, there’s something I want to say before I lose my nerve!” y/n shouted, lifting her cocktail glass into the air. “patricio o ward is the love of my life! he’s the reason I look forward to getting up in the morning, the driving force behind what I do. he’s my biggest supporter, and the best lover, but moreover, he’s my best friend.”

the room started cheering. felix nudged pato in the arm, the mexican driver getting to his feet with a smile and waving to the room as if he was the queen of england. y/n beckoned him closer to the stage, and pato began to wonder if this was the perfect moment.

the moment he would pop the question.

“patricio, my love, my light, my smile. my best friend.” she smiled, lacing her fingers with his. she’d have got down on her knees to ask, full proposal classic, but with the crowd in this room, it would turn into a sex joke. “will you do me the honor of being my husband? will you marry me?”

pato just laughed, opening the ring box in his hand. “i was about to ask you the exact same thing.”

they both laughed, wrapping their arms around each other on stage, in front of the whole indycar grid as pato kissed her softly.

“is that a yes?”

“you first, tough guy.”

“yes, of course I’ll marry you, pretty girl.”

iii

“you look so fucking hot right now.” pato whistled as his fiancée stepped out of the dressing room, fabric of the wedding dress swishing around her legs as she walked.

they do say not to let your husband see you in your dress before the ceremony, but seeing as y/n was technically the one that proposed, they said to hell with all the regular wedding superstitions.

"you've said that about every dress so far." she giggled, twirling to look at herself in the mirror.

it turns out that the lovesick male is also very unhelpful when narrowing down which dress to buy, as the specimen thinks that every dress is equally as hot.

the dress was simple, white fabric hugging all her curves, with a scooping v-neckline. she loved the way it looked, but wondered if it might be perhaps a little . . . pedestrian. but she didn't even want a big wedding, she was happy with a quiet family affair in cancun.

pato shook his head. "this is different, babe. this dress is the one."

"you don't think it's too basic?" y/n worried, swishing the fabric around once more as she stared at her reflection.

"i think it's beautiful, corazon. you are beautiful." he wrapped his arms around her waist. "i'd marry you if you were wearing ripped jeans and a grease-stained tears for fears shirt."

"good to know. when we have our vow renewal maybe i'll wear a leather skirt."

"vow renewal?" pato laughs, kissing her softly. "we haven't even said them the first time yet."

"i can't wait until we do." y/n sighs, leaning back into his arms. "i love you."

"love you more, pretty girl." pato grins widely, kissing her cheek. "so, how do you feel about the dress?"

"this is the one."

iv.

"pato watch out!" y/n laughed, watching her now-husband remove one of the large jenga blocks from the tower set up in the middle of the reception hall.

pato had stayed true to his word when he promised that it would be a small wedding, only family and close friends allowed to join them in the serene jungle of cancun.

in lieu of a guest book, the o'ward's had bought a massive handmade jenga set, and each of the guests had written a message for the happy couple on one of the wooden blocks now towering into the trees and the stars above.

"relax, honey, it's not going to fall." pato chuckled, using both hands to maneuver the wooden block. "elba, get me the step ladder!"

shaking her head, pato's sister brought over the small two-step ladder that the wedding guests had been using to play the life-sized game.

or, larger than life sized.

"patricio, if you fall, i swear to god." y/n half warned as she held the ladder in place, the glow of happiness and surreality on her face as she tried to comprehend that she was now married to her best friend in the entire world.

pato rested the jenga block on the top of the wobbly tower, straightening it and attempting to stabilize it without knocking the whole thing over. stasified with the structure's strength, pato let out a breath and descended the ladder, moving to stand next to his wife.

he thought she looked so beautiful in the soft, led lighting. the jungle clearing was right on the water, lit up by christmas lights stung between the trees and plugged into a generator. y/n had a hibiscus flower pinned behind her ear, and a small smudge of mascara on her cheek.

that didn't matter. she still took his breath away, made his knees go weak when she smiled.

even after marriage, he was still al lovesick fool.

felix was up next in the massive jenga game, pulling out a block from the middle that he could barely reach, getting alex to hold the step ladder in place as he ascended to the top of the dangerously rickety tower.

"i don't like the looks of that." y/n hummed, resting her head against pato's chest. "if those jenga blocks crush anybody at our reception-"

"they won't, don't worry about it." pato murmured, kissing her forehead softly. "i'm so happy we did this."

"me too."

"the tower's coming down!" alex shouted, pushing felix out of the way and into the water as the jenga blocks fell down.

in the opposite direction of the lake.

"what the fuck was that for?" felix shouted, surfacing in the turqoise waters as he began to doggy paddle back to shore.

"sorry." alex laughed. "i thought it was going to fall on you."

still laughing, y/n turned to pato, kissing him softly. "i love you."

"love you more, pretty girl. way, way more."

TAGS:

@oconso @libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh @scuderiasundays @cl16version @unluckyhoneybee

[murd3rouscrow]

Finally talking about episode 22. spoilers below

holy shit this episode was... well, bonkers! i had to relisten to it a couple times, especially the end. I'll be honest, i didn't have high hopes for solitary cyclist, especially after the emotional trainwreck that was gloria scott, it all felt too chill. but boy was i wrong!

I honestly knew the fiance was the culprit, that's just the case for any mystery story, if there's a fiance, he's probably the bad guy. But i definitely didn't expect him to fake a whole chatroom of obsessive onlyfans to scare her back into making videos, just so he could keep mooching off her.

Bobby fucking shooting him was entirely a shock. I swear that gunshot gave me shivers. "she's not your wife, she's your widow" is honestly so fucking badass. Shame, i assume he probably went to prison for it.

being with just Jonk, feels like going to the supermarket with your embarrassing parent.

and of course, our main girl Violet, i really hope she comes to her senses and dumps him.

Honestly, all things considered, i'm loving this more dramatic and emotional vibe the episodes are going recently. Would've loved more Mariana as always, never realized how much i adored her.

[ponett]

i have to admit... i'm letting myself get excited about live action one piece now. i've been SO skeptical about it for years, for all of the reasons you're already thinking. when it was first announced i was like "wow, this will probably be another trainwreck, but hopefully it's at least an entertaining one." obviously cowboy bebop did not help build confidence. but every new thing i see in the previews makes me more and more into it

whether it's seeing more of the main cast's performances to get a better feel for them, or the goofy supporting character designs that have been perfectly transposed from the manga without chickening out, or the beautifully weird looking transponder snails, or hearing the massive amount of input oda had throughout... it just looks like they're doing it right! it's refreshing to have one of these adaptations where even when you hear they changed stuff it's just, like... normal changes for an adaptation? things getting shuffled around a little, or a supporting character absorbing another character's role, and not like "they made goku an american high school student." and now we're getting reactions from people who've seen it early and they're really positive, against all odds

like. did this NEED to exist? no. but i'm shocked at how fun and faithful and competently made it looks as a companion piece to the manga. i'm still bracing myself for the very real possibility that it's just mediocre, but i really, really hope it's as fun as it looks

[chaifootsteps]

"it's official: the HB pilot isn't canon anymore so stop-"

Girl, screw you and v*v 💀💀 I and many other ppl will continue to use that to hate, lol. You know why other ppl will still treat the pilot as canon? Because not everyone is glued to the internet, combing thru twitter, wikis, bluesky, and whatever else for information. They're not gonna know what shenanigans v*v's dumbass is pulling.

Also, lmao @ how unprofessional this all is. The show has inconsistent animation, an inconsistent story/premise, inconsistent character models, the creator lets fans do all the thinking whenever stuff in the show makes no sense (which is constantly happening), the cult fanbase experts everyone to be on the same page, and now episodes are being "decanonised". What a trainwreck. 😭😭😭

I'm not quite saying I'm calling it, her "decanonising" the entire first season or at least Murder Family, but I wouldn't be shocked. Not even a fraction.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Just saw your posts abt the return to Moria songs - was about to ask if you'd got your hands on the game yet! After the trainwreck of the gollum game I'm rlly interested in your opinions/thoughts on return to Moria, lore wise and mechanically as a game, the trailers always looked great & development sounded like it was going well but since it came out I've mostly been seeing poor reviews. What's the lesbiansforboromir verdict so far?

RTM?? HAS?? POOR REVIEWS?? I'll- m. I suppose. People are entitled to be wrong. Anyway well I fucking love this game.

Honestly I dont want to talk about it as a game like the gameplay is fun, I like exploring and mining and making my little bases with all my friends okay, do you want to be a dwarf and do dwarf things in The Dwarf Place with 7 of your little dwarf friends?? Yes?? Good! The game is literally only 31£ which in comparison to most titles that come out these days is so emminently affordable I was honestly shocked I could get it.

I suppose to be clear I was a beta tester for this game like I've been rooting for it for ages so I guess I was primed to enjoy it but!! Like!! What I actually want to talk about is Return to Moria as a piece of art earnestly engaging in dwarven spirituality and narrative as something moving and poignant in and of itself. The mood and narrative of the game is built more on the experience of playing the game than any story or dialogue.

You have come from any corner of dwarvendom, at Gimli's calling, to reclaim Khazad-dum after Sauron's destruction. For some reason though, the doors both east and west are blocked, the pass code no longer works. In attempting to mine through there is an accident and you fall through the floor into Moria, alone.

Now, I would posit that there are two very different games within this game. On the one hand, you can play with friends. You fell through with a few other dwarves and after finding each other you begin to figure out what to do. You deligate tasks of resource collecting and exploration and base building, someone will cook breakfast for the group in the morning for you to all have together, when you mine together your voices join up into lovely shanty-like melodies and at the end of a hard day or some victory you have a mug of ale together and sing around a fire. If you fall, there is someone to pick you up and the burden of the shadow is born by all, it feels right. You can also distribute different 'masterworks' between all of you, so you are never in the dark, you can always mine swiftly through obstacles and someone can offer you a restorative if you need one. The feeling is so right, like this is simply how dwarves always should be, and as you more rapidly clear rubble and repair the world around you the sense of togetherness and reclaiming a home are very powerful. You still long for Durin's return, you sing his song together each time you mend his statues (all my group instinctively waited for everyone to be gathered before mending any of Durin's statues) but you also feel a part of the great dwarven whole and it makes the game a kind of hopeful determined experience. Like yes the damage of the past is great, and the future is uncertain, you have no guiding light. But you do, you have each other, the dwarves will endure and bring their own light to dark places once again. Together.

But if you are playing alone? It is an entirely different experience. And the singing is really the clearest expression of that difference. Whereas with friends your voice will be raised with your fellows and produce really pleasant melodies, alone there is only you. It seems obvious, but there is something about being on your own, mining an iron vein because you need weapons and armour to defend yourself against the orcs that you can see and hear watching you from the darkness, waiting to strike, and you begin to sing, just to yourself, in a voice that is often not particularly beautiful, but you have to do something just to make yourself feel less alone, to calm your own nerves when you feel like a wolf could silently creep up behind you and attack at any moment (a real threat that happens a great deal during solo-play). It is not joyful anymore, it is desperate, you always start off by humming as though you need to psych yourself up to actually raising your voice in the hollow halls. You are always running out of space in your inventory, one dwarf alone cannot carry everything needed to set up safe havens everywhere you want, and as for masterworks? You have to choose between easy light and a raft of other far more useful things like a cask of miruvor, an unbreakable shield, a pickaxe that cuts your mining time in half! You will still choose the light in the end. Where all the leftover dilapidated bases you find felt cosy with friends, now they feel empty, too much space for just one dwarf. You drink and dance alone now, at the end of a weary day, trying to buoy yourself into enduring another one tomorrow, there is no one to celebrate successes or commiserate failures with. And it FEELS wrong, a dwarf alone in here feels wrong, that community you want to turn too for guidance isn't there, and neither is Durin. The sensation that King Thorin Stonehelm III was right, that you should have waited for Durin's return before trying to restory Khazad-dum, is most powerful in soloplay.

The only time you feel that togetherness, that you dont feel alone, is when you mend one of Durin's statues. Whilst you start off singing the song of durin alone, as you continue other voices join you in an uplifting veneration that every dwarf knows. It's the only time in solo-play that you will hear more voices than just your own. It's like a way to connect to the great whole that is the dwarven people, that you are so cut off from right now but that is never wholly gone, as Durin is also never wholly gone. He is the conduit that connects every dwarf in the world and the longing for him is far more potent in playthroughs where he is the only dwarf you can turn too. Despair is a literal mechanic in the game that will slowly sap your life away if you spend too much time alone in the dark.

So a solo experience of the game more emphasises this fear of the future, fear of the unknown, of walking alone into a world that is dark and dangerous and full of pain and loss. You still have victories, but it is gruelling and each one feels more miraculous.

So that's my take, also obligatory mention of the coolest fucking multiplayer gaming moment of my life where me and three friends walked the pilgrim's road of Durin, found the source of the Kibil-nala where a great monument is built as shrine to Durin's passage, restored it and sang to it together (all of us deathly silent in voice chat just to listen) and the song ending just before we were attacked by a horde of orcs rushing into the chamber whereupon us FFFUCKING NERD ASS BITCHES turned around yelling (in our real human voices, not discussed beforehand) 'Baruk Khazad' and 'Khazad ai-menu' with our weapons raised and defeated the orcs at the threshold LIKE... Theoden screaming 'death' levels of adhrenaline and emotional investment I tell you.

Anyway I have to go now, LOTRO's Umbar update finally downloaded ciao