#so I'm basically dying here
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Just woke up nauseous for the second time this night
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Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)
Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker
You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!
The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.
#EDIT: pinning this for a few days so muts can find it if needed#EDIT: but also because i'm muting notifications because my phone is now dying#i foresee me possibly having to mute the notifications on this post#but whatever#(update: my prediction came true faster than i anticipated before i could even fix link mistakes or typos 🤷♀️ SORRY)#(when posts you make for your muts get a little further out than expected)#psa for anyone who the new ui winds up bothering#here's a way to basically revert to ye olden times
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teen wolf meme: [3/5] motifs -> resurrection
It's different now. I think dying did something to him. It did something to me, too. But none of it was good.
#teen wolf#lydia martin#kate argent#tracy stewart#scott mccall#peter hale#jackson whittemore#derek hale#hayden romero#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#yes i'm aware that it can definitely be argued whether resurrection is a motif in teen wolf or just a recurring plot device#and while it's certainly not a symbolic motif like fire and water was previously#the way it's utilized within the show does make me read it moreso as a motif than just plot#like water it's used to communicate an internal change but the ways it differs from water is that it usually occurs at the end of a#narrative arc whereas water typically appears at the beginnings#water is used to signify a character's beginning descent into something new and the resurrection is once that change is completed#jackson's arc in season two is started with his submersion in water and it's ended with his resurrection#and lydia's arc in eichen house in 5b is much the same with her in the river in her mind at the beginning and then her dying and coming bac#at the animal clinic#even lydia's arc in season two can be read within these parameters#it begins with her in the hospital shower as she digs hair out of the water and ends when she resurrects peter#so while yes there is a reversal there and lydia isn't the subject of the resurrection she is the agent of it#which honestly the same can be said for theo in 5a#basically what i'm getting at here is that my reading of the resurrections in teen wolf as a motif is very valid and you should all agree#also i completely forgot about jackson's resurrection until i was literally writing these tags so i had to go back and make a gif for that
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.
You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.
Blood. There was so much blood.
He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement.
When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-
No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.
But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.
Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.
One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned.
There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.
He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.
No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust.
He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.
Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.
“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper.
“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”
He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.
“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now.
“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.”
“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”
“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths.
“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.”
“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was.
The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him.
It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.
#here's some doomed soriku angst :)#when I do finally post this on ao3 i will very likely post it under a pseud so that people that want happy can very easily avoid it#i've just been in a bad place because I can't write and I feel bad that I can't write but feeling bad makes it impossible to write. so#I was like “lets just write that depressing stuff since my head is already there” and it actually kind of worked out which was nice.#this came from me workshopping my guardian angel au but i now think that's an entirely separate fic at this point. not sure yet.#anyways this is not like the 1st chapter or anything and idk if the final version will be anything like this or have a lot of changes but#this is like a sneak peek into what I'm working on lol. here is what it's gonna be like. i hope someone vibes with angsty soriku and dying.#soriku#soriku fic#blood#tw blood#tw death#honestly though. can i ramble for a sec. i've been wracking my brain trying to make my guardian angel au work for MONTHS#and now that i finally have working ideas for a plot/conflict/story beats it's moved so far away from that original concept that its like#basically an entirely different fic now. a guardian angel doesnt even make sense for this story now.#so if i ever do write a guardian angel au fic it will be separate from this and different lol. i really want to make it work though!!#I might end up going with the whole mcr lyric theme for this fic even though that was specifically for the au. bc it fits here#anyways biblically accurate Riku will exist at some point. I promise i will write it. it just might not be in this. (unless?)#pwft
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Authentic Story of the Shining Force - Saint Fencer Max - Chapter 4
Translation notes:
This is the last boob joke. We're free at last.
Here's the retranslation of every scene with the Spring of Recollection in the game. Overall, her speech here is fairly close to what she says in Waral in-game, with a few details from her final appearance sprinkled in, like her care for Cain. It does misses a few nuances though, like the Legacy being more than just Dark Dragon.
I don't think I've ever seen art of the Spring, but notably, she gets a portrait in the GBA version, and it looks a lot like the manga design, with the slightly wavy hair and especially the blank eyes.
Obviously, the manga rushes through the plot since it's short, thus a lot of places are skipped. I didn't even feel like pointing them out before. However I will point out Waral not being here this time, because Waral happens to not be in the beta map either, and it has very contradicting lore between the ASCII guide and the World Book, meaning it might have not been well developed. Besides, Chapter 5 is very weirdly structured. You get two ship battles that are basically the same, you get to Waral by accident, you advance the plot by going to Ring Reef for no reason and everyone telling you it's off-limits while letting you waltz in anyway, and hardly anything happens in the shrine besides you hearing about the Manual, which is not even a big deal because you get to Rudo by accident later (two ship accidents!! why repeat this plot point!!) and would go to Dragonia anyway to help Bleu. Basically, I obviously can't prove it, but it wouldn't surprise me if the ocean shrine was initially thought off as only a plot scene, and the battles/town added much later for gameplay reasons.
Perhaps worth mentioning, the GBA version also makes a point to mention that Max got lost in the shrine alone, and everyone was worried about him, which does remind me a lot of the ship scene here.
uh oh. i hit image limit for the first time and i don't wanna remove either of these pics. more notes on a reblog later.
#shining series#shining force#saint fencer max#saint fencer max translation#sfm max#sf cain#so. gamers. fans. friends and followers. are we good? are we normal? are we normal about the last pages? i'm not#unfortunately my typesetting does not do it justice but at least i put up a fight#those unending creaking noises mess me up so good#it's just. so good. all of this#why did the gba version wasted time with boring villain epilogues#when it could be giving me the Good Stuff (angst of a long haired anime man)#also is his hair dyed? the eyebrows kinda imply that. i'm not sure i like that but i'm not sure i dislike that either#his hair is so good tho#anyway i could talk about him forever and i will but i gotta talk about the spring too#i really like the sword of light being here. it works aesthetically at least. the mishaela plot is very dumb#i had a whole thing about the sword of light typed but i took it out for later cause it doesn't have much to do with the manga#will probably come though! the three max cain plots are the same basically but there have some difference in the details#that has mashed together in my brain#so i wanna pick that apart at some point#anyway back to the mango. i dearly miss the nuance about the legacy even though it took me a while to notice it in the game#between this and the pseudo-magic introduction the manga does suck a bit at portraying the ancients#but i like how despite the weird pacing of the manga this part kinda flows better#with the spring's revelations all here in the middle#instead of popping in manarina like 'yeah boy you're hero of fate wait three chapter until we elaborate on that though'#naturally the game has good battle content to keep you happy through it#but the manarina scene feels kinda useless to me#anyway i probably had more to say about this while translating but i'm very sleepy#i will never shut up about this chapter though. mark my words
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stop-that-fool's ICEMAV timeline for Your jeep. Your Teeth. The coffee that you bought me.
AKA where my icemav's story sticks to canon and where it diverges/changes-- all while trying to make it align with real military/historical events.
Also, thank you @sliderkerner for indulging me and saying that you wanted my timeline posted here!
DISCLAIMER! I am in no way an expert of the US Military. This whole 'timeline' should not be taken as fact or canon regarding TOP GUN. I am making this for my own understanding of my icemav story and to help myself and anyone reading keep track of the timeline. This is just for fun and mostly for me.
Quick note about the time off US Military members get. According to this website, people accumulate leave-- 2.5 days per month of work. I don't think that either Mav or Ice are eager to take time off. I can only see them wanting to take time off to visit Carole and Bradley (as Val Kilmer stated, I also believe that Ice does not have the ideal family). That's why a lot of their work seems back-to-back/never ending.
1986-
-The movie stays the same (Goose dies, intense amounts of sexual tension between Ice and Mav, "You can be my wingman anytime" etc., etc.)
-The FIRST change in canon is when Mav states that he's going to try teaching at TOP GUN. In TGM, Mav said he barely lasted one class. Within my story, Mav lasts until 1988.
Between '87 and '88-
-Ice comes to teach at TOP GUN (entirely for the purpose of his career/'resume' for working his way up for promotions etc., etc.)
-While Ice is there (for around 2 TOP GUN classes) that is when Ice and Mav start getting involved romantically.
-But Ice hates teaching. He leaves mid '88 and joins the Iran-Iraq War aboard USS Enterprise.
Late 1988-
-Mav completes one last TOP GUN class after Ice leaves and follows Ice to the USS Enterprise (a happy accident that they were stationed on the same ship). This then allows them to continue their 'involvement' and allow them to fly together again ("Bullshit, you can be mine" blah blah blah).
1990-
-The Gulf War. According to Fandom Wiki both Mav and Ice have the Kuwait Liberation Medal-- meaning they both fought in the Gulf War around this time. (Btw they are no longer on the USS Enterprise as she was no longer involved in the Gulf War past 1989 (I think))
-In my TOP GUN universe, Mav gets another 'kill' during the Gulf War (I have no idea if any naval aviators did this in 1990 (Mav didn't do this canonically) but it happens within the stop-that-fool fanfic universe). Merlin is also Mav's RIO throughout the the Gulf War.
1991-
-BUT Ice has the Kuwait Liberation Medal (Saudi Arabia) while Mav does not. Mav has the Southwest Asia Service Medal. So, for my story this time in between 1991-92 is when Mav pisses someone off and is moved squadrons/carriers to somewhere in Southwest Asia.
-Both of them, according to these medals, participated in Operation Desert Storm. (Mav also could have participated in Operation Desert Shield due to his Southwest Asia Service Medal.)
-Throughout 1991 they are able to see each other a couple times, but the fact that Mav keeps pissing people off makes it difficult. This is also because Navy deployments on average last between 6-7 months (according to a quick Google search) and for the sake of the story, their deployments and time off in between rarely overlap.
1992-
-This difficulty continues into 1992 where it all comes to a head on Dec. 31st 1992 (Ice's birthday! (Ice does not have a 'canon' birthday, but Dec. 31st is Val Kilmer's and I thought that bday also made sense for Ice)). Que the car scene in ch.4 and the aftermath the next morning.
-Throughout '92, Mav was in Iraq participating in the Iraqi no-fly zones. (I think. I find this UN mandate difficult to understand, especially whether or not the US Navy was involved or not.)
1993-
-Mav and Ice do not see each other in person at all in '93. But as said in ch.4 they-- "...talk about nothing on the phone. Ice never picks him up from the airport again."
-The US Navy also provided air cover for cargo planes that were bringing relief supplies during the Bosnian War. This is where Mav was placed in '93 (pissed off some captain or higher up or something).
-Ice and Mav don't see each other (in person) until '94.
The UNITED NATIONS MEDAL- In the TOP GUN fandom wiki page, both Ice and Mav are listed to have a United Nations Medal. What it does not state, and what I cannot find anywhere online, is what conflict they were a part specifically of for them to receive this medal. There are multiple options throughout the 1990's and 2000's that could have led to this award. BUT for the sake of my story, I will only be considering/applying conflicts that took place between 1994-98.
Between 1994 and '96-
-I think Ice received the UNPROFOR United Nations Medal for his service during the Yugoslav Wars. This is where he was between 1994-95. As I stated in ch.3 he was stationed somewhere in Europe after he and Mav 'break up' (I can't figure out what United Nations Medal Mav could have received-- it's difficult to figure out US Navy specific peacekeeping missions he could been involved in besides UNPROFOR.))
1997-
-It's around this year that Mav uses some of his accumulated vacation days to spend a longer period with Carole and Bradley. Ice is still stationed in Europe (workaholic).
1998-
-After Mav's time off, he's deployed again to Iraq.
As I mentioned in a previous post, not a lot of things happen in early to mid 1998 in regards to military conflicts, BUT Operation Desert Fox happens in December of 1998. I think the military would need to have people around before the operation before completing something of that scale. AKA that's why Mav is there in June.
-Then on an undisclosed date in early June, Mav crashes as stated in ch.1 (“You dodged some crazy bastards up there, then hit a bird. The plane crashed into the ground, and you ejected and landed on some rocks...").
-Mav is transferred to a hospital in California as he needs special surgery for his shattered knee cap.
-Ice has been in California for a couple days when Mav gets there because his paternal grandfather is dying (another happy accident that his grandfather is in the same hospital as Mav (god i love plot armour)). Ice had previously been permanently stationed somewhere in Europe (to get away from his family, Mav, and to work up to a promotion).
-Carole dies a couple days after Mav is released from the hospital. Bradley is now under Mav's legal guardianship. They move into military provided family housing on the Lemoore Naval Air Station with Mav teaching at the SFWSPAC (Strike Fighter Weapons School Pacific) once his injuries heal.
-Ice then reveals that he has requested to be stationed in California with Mav (the request was approved, Ice is now near both his family AND Mav... he's so silly).
-On June 21st 1998, Mav, Ice and Bradley drive out to West California to the beach cottage Mav rented (courtesy of Viper) with the plans of celebrating Bradley's birthday on June 27th (finally someone with a canon bday thank u Bradley).
Anyway, that's all we got so far! I would just like to say again that I am in no way claiming that this is accurate or canon. I also can't guarantee that I understand all of the wars, conflicts, operations, and details of the US military that I stated previously. So if I got something wrong; any of the language I used, details of the wars and conflicts stated, I apologize! Very deeply. From the depths of my soul.
#this is proof that i am a productive member of society#I AM NOT AN EXPERT#this is just for fun#all my info is basically from Wikipedia plz do not trust me#i tried to hyperlink everything that i referenced.. which is mostly Wikipedia#sorry about that.. but i don't care THAT much to find 'reliable' sources#like this is a military propaganda movie after all.. therefore i'm not like... dying to make this as accurate as possible#who am i kidding here#this is literally for a fanfiction#do u think tom cruise would combust on the spot if he saw this... all this for a gay fanfiction....#again this is mostly for me to reference-- my scattered notes and floating thoughts in my brain were not working anymore#so i made this for myself and then i thought i would post it#because sharing is caring#i got the fanfic name right#finally#the military propaganda got to me. IT GOT ME.#icemav#icemav fanfic#top gun 1986#top gun#maverick#iceman#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#top gun fanfiction#thank u ily bye#ao3#stopthatfool writes
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Every time Mario is visibly concerned/worried about Luigi in the trailers/TV spots/sneak peeks/etc shown so far.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros movie#super mario bros#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#LOOK...this is not a very good gifset#i am working with tiktok videos and recordings of television screens here haha#BUT!!! i couldn't get the idea out of my head of compiling all of this and i spent so much time on these gifs that now i HAVE to post them#also i know the text could look better but i am not very good at that yet please be gentle with me!!!#a couple more caveats: i may have forgotten something and also the context of these clips could very well be misleading#these are basically scenes where the trailers/tv spots make it APPEAR as though mario is reacting about luigi but i could be wrong#with all of that out of the way: LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS SAD WORRIED VERY SMALL MAN. GIVE HIM HIS BROTHER BACK#like many people i was also worried when it became clear that mario and luigi were going to spend a lot of this movie apart#and i'm sure there will be stretches of time where mario is caught up in the adventure#but just the fact that luigi seems VERY front of mind for mario throughout hurts my feeble little heart#he isn't going to stop he's going to do whatever it takes until his little brother is safe and back beside him#(also: i hadn't seen that 'this guy's brother is going to DIE' clip in a long time and the FACE JOURNEY that mario goes on there continues#to be SO incredible and funny. he genuinely looks very pissed off at toad after the initial shock wears off. AND I WONDER WHY)#(especially now that we know this is the second time toad makes a comment about his brother dying and/or being lost forever!!!)#(MARIO WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T!!!!!)
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honestly. it's so fucking frustrating and disheartening. that the only thing making me hesitant to cleanly cut contact with my mom, the thing that still looms after cutting away from my dad........ is that when they both finally bite it, that's two houses to sell. that's money that may mean *i* get to have my own house someday.
the key to the security my parents failed to give me from the moment i was born lies in their deaths. the least they can do. the very fucking *least* is to leave me the means to build that security on my own. they owe me so much more than that, but realistically? that small act of restitution is all i can and will ask for.
until then? i want nothing to do with them.
#the comments of the article i'm reading involves people discussing their reasons for not going no contact with both parents#one of which being that they're not ready to be an orphan yet#and fuck. i know it's more complicated than this but. i've *always* been an orphan#i've wanted to let my parents go for a very long time#it took longer to do my due dilligence in giving my mom eight million chances but. those chances have come and gone#i don't want to do the work to whittle down our interactions. i don't think our relationship is worth carving it down to 'we can talk for 20#minutes once a month about light topics only. i don't want to hear about your sisters or my dad again thanks'#i get nothing out of that#i feel like now that i've Made Up My Mind (finally. it took so fucking long 😢) i'm obligated to give her one last chance#after outlining the New Rules#but she's an adult. as one commenter said '[s]he was always capable of respecting you.'#my mom is an adult. for all the work she's done on herself#she could've caught on that benting about her sisters every time we talk is not an appropriate topic of conversation#she could have noticed all the times i tried to interrupt her when she was here. not even to interrupt her to stop her from talking but#interrupting her so i could PARTICIPATE in the conversation#she is an ADULT and she is capable of looking at our interactions and seeing that they need improvement#there are certain boundaries that polite well adjusted people do not need to deliberately express to expect to have them respected#my mother is responsible for identifying those boundaries and that work. no i can't expect her to read my mind and intuit my boundaries#without me saying so. but i CAN expect her to ask my consent before discussing heavy topics. i CAN expect her to be self aware enough to#allow me to participate in conversations with her#i CAN expect her to manage her emotions to not be a volatile monster just waiting to trauma dump or explode#it is not my responsibility to teach her basic interpersonal decency#and i don't need to give her the eight million and one'th chance to prove she can be respectful this time#she was always capable of respecting me. she just chose not to#venting her feelings and being in her triggers is more important to her#and i sincerely hope she'll stay tangled in those feelings and not bring out the gaslighty 'i'll do anything to keep you in my life!!!!!!'#because. clearly. she will not.#she was always capable of respecting me. and emotional manipulation is not a part of that#personal#i just want to get my parents dying over with so i can afford a down payment on a fucking house
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My last post before I sleep. Are like. All the phoneheads in dsaf just legally dead. Like they're alive but they Did die. There's the whole fucking hubbub "death of the ego" (but not really) n stuff. I can't keep thinking deep like this
#Grave's Digs#TabbyKat Rambles#<- because it originated from here#Peter was most likely declared dead after his siblings were declared dead on live air! Probably. Maybe.#They HAD to have reported about the last living kennedy that WASNT caroline dying. Right guys.#HARRYS ***MOTHER** KNEW HER DAUGHTER WAS MISSING BUT IIRC.#SOMEONE WAS LIKE 'we don't have a harry here this is scott' SO LIKE.#I wouldn't push it past them if this was a whole 'sweep it under the rug! It's probably fine.' thing where#They were able to just pass them off as missing. But also Could they. Could they really#I really shouldn't be delving this deep. Sorry the bed thoughts are getting too me#Anyways I'm losing my train of thought. Back on track#So basically would a nobody like Steven be declared dead after getting sprung (aside from having been missing for 7+ years)#'Why is Steven the example' soz. He's like the most normal out of the other phoneys that ISNT from the regular gang#'What about Jake and roger' well from what we know abt Steven he was literally just a normal guy w a bf#So technically. I mean the one with the least going on. Soz.#Anyways IM DOOOONNNNEEEE RAMBLING. FUCK.
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Timeloop au snippet
The arrow that caught Elain might have been Hybernian. It might, fletched in shining black, have come from the Night Court’s hands. What mattered- what stopped everything in sick, numb horror, was that the iron and ash barbed bolt went right through her. The Archeron sisters, the same in this always: dead, or fae. Fae just long enough to die again. Feyre wailed, but Nesta- Nesta, Cauldron water dripping, catching unreal silver off her ruined nightdress, more flame than person, the wind abruptly screaming in this airless, trap of a palace- Nesta grabbed the first soldier who approached her, and ripped his head clean off. “No,” Nesta said, dropping the skull like it was nothing, sick sound of flesh and bone on cold, wet stone eerily familiar. She looked up, through it- Hybern wounded, frozen in fascination. Tamlin bound, Rhysand on the floor, Feyre weeping in his arms- looked past them all like none of them were real, and found Lucien. “Not like this,” Nesta hissed, a silver-eyed fury, blood splatter stippled so thickly across her face and neck it was dripping. He thought he might have winnowed. He certainly didn’t bother to walk, waste the time. “I’m going,” Nesta said, absolutely sure, rocking back a step. Not alone- not if he could help it- not- Lucien didn’t need to say it, much less try to stop it. He was already reaching, she was already there, taking both his hands. A question, silent, raised on her upturned face, eyes searching his expression. Lucien squeezed back, as much as Nesta’s sheer grip would allow.
“Not like this,” he agreed, quiet, and leaned it. She made it quick.
#Undying! DEVOTION#the darkness is so present#but also#theres are two threads here#one being growing familiarity#friendship and flirting and teamwork#and ALSO#there is basically a story of love being told inside out and sideways#they are not doing things in reasonable order!#they are DYING TOGETHER!#(why would lucien ever let her die again when he could just go with her?)#(when ever has Nesta not felt fundamentally alone?)#HOME WAS A TRUTH AND LUCIEN VANSERRA SON OF TWO COURTS WHO COULD NOT TOUCH HAD NEVER HAD ONE#!!!#I'm going insane#I'm so excited for yall to read this#no one has correctly guessed what's happening#(except for Nesta)#(she's in denial)#getting bloody and silly and sexy#lucnes#lucien vanserra/nesta archeron#no grave can hold my body down
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All you beautiful BG3 freaks (affectionate) gave me secondhand fandom disease for the mentally ill vampire twink so now I'm over here researching wigs and ruffle shirts for Halloween purposes (I don't even go here lol), but I'm stuck because I don't actually have the game yet and can't get a good reference for what kind of pants and boots the guy wears, and I'm terrified that if I google "Astarion pants" or "Astarion legs" it's gonna be a bunch of horny fanart entirely too traumatic for my flavor of asexuality. I'm just here for the Gender Presentation Vibes, not the Thirst, y'all do your own thing and I'm gonna do mine wayyyy the heck over here, away from what I'm increasingly afraid involves some kind of horror orgy in the woods (there's biting and blood and something about a bear? like a literal bear???? I'm terrified, I tell you. I genuinely don't want to know. It better be optional/skippable)
So anyway, q for y'all Astarion stans I keep seeing on my dash: what do the man's pants look like? Victorian bib, basic trousers, pirate side-lace, what are we talking about here? Which pattern section do I need to be looking through in the McCalls catalogue? Belt or nah? What fabric am I looking at? (Say it ain't leather, bruh, my sewing machine can't handle that...)
Also anyone know the technical term for that coat he's wearing in all the promo art, with the split puff sleeves or whatever? I'm a historical fashion noob, idk what to even call that but I have a mighty need for, like, four of them.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#as i said i don't even go here#but i KNOW you people have answers and refs for me#also if anyone has makeup tips on covering freckles that'd be awesome#i mean a severe unauthorized amount of freckles#as in from a distance i look several many shades darker than i actually am just because there are so many freckles#regular old makeup don't cover it#but i'm dying for that ultrapale goth-adjacent dewy complexion thing this boy's got going#i know only the basics of his storyline but still#i NEED to look like that at least once#and halloween is a great excuse
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I am right there with u about the wanting to write dark stuff bestie I feel u
Yeeaahh, like thematically dark and serious fanfiction can be a lot of fun to write and read, if you're into that! I know a lot of people prefer fluff, and that's completely reasonable. There's something cathartic about dark stuff to me. Especially if the canon material is rather dark already, I find it like a sort of refreshing change from a lot of fluff, let's say.
I will always encourage people to write whatever they wish, so long as the dark story in question isn't, y'know, deliberately offensive, exploitative, or racist/phobic in any way. Beta and sensitivity readers also help with catching stuff like this, and therefore are always wonderful to have. I think there are people in every fandom who write dark stuff for the sake of being upsetting or shocking, so to be clear that's not what I mean (nor is it what I think you mean, nonnie) when I say I like to write dark stuff 😅 I just enjoy the violence, fear, grief, anger, etc. It shows up in a lot of my writing and it really helps me get through some stuff.
But yeah, I always say write what you want! Even if only five people read it. (This advice does not apply to me because I have self-esteem issues with my writing lol). I have read some of the most gorgeous fics in the tog fandom that are pretty dark. Not necessarily angsty all the way through, just dealing with serious themes in a way that's very true to canon. This is just me telling a general audience that it's possible to write dark stuff without being offensive and upsetting and exploitative. Give me more canon-typical violence and horror and anger! And of course it's always important to be kind and tag your works correctly!
#i think i'm just going through something lately sdfgfds#anyway thanks for hearing me out nonnie i hope you write! <3#for clarity here are some of my own fics i would describe as 'dark': axis. perfero. dying of the light. dahlia.#and some wips because my writing seems to be getting more ick as my depression creeps back#......so basically everything i wrote where nicky is the main character huh#i might make a long fic rec post honestly! but be prepared for a lot of angsty stuff and almost no aus 😅#well there are a few
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I don’t want to start drama but I’ve seen some concerning posts floating around about how distasteful and disappointing it is to see certain creators “support” Dorian and I hate to break it to you guys, but if you’ve ever interacted, shared or created anything regarding The Arcana you are supporting Dorian yourselves.
Being in the fandom alone is supporting Dorian by creating engagement, publicizing the game and being part of the audience they’re trying to target.
And even if you were to delete your whole blog and everything you’ve ever posted to enjoy the original game in private you would still be supporting Dorian by bringing traffic to the app they now own.
The one and only way you have to stop supporting Dorian, if you care about it so much, would be to distance yourself from the series entirely and go join another fandom. Never play the original game ever again and never interact with any fan creation regarding it from now on. 👋
#you're basically saying you dislike people supporting the company by working with it#while you yourself are supporting the company but indirectly by giving visibility to their brand#let's be coherent please#I personally don't care about dorian just like I never cared about nix hydra#but I still like the game so I'm gonna cherry pick whatever I want#and full offence but between this and continuous character and ship discourse you guys are unsufferable lol#you're murdering the fandom from the inside by being toxic af and finding the most bullshit excuses to attack artists for shit#that doesn't matter and then you turn around and whine and wonder why the fandom is dying and no one is posting anything new anymore#like MMMMMMMMMNHHHHHHH 🤔🤔🤔#it's a mystery I wonder why#mentioning this because I also saw some discourse about dorian being awful for supporting quote unquote tOxIc and aBuSiVe ships 😨😨😨😨#with the most basic and vanilla couple I've ever seen here#like nix hydra was never great either but I've never ever seen posts claiming that if you support them you must be an awful person#what changed exactly?#it sounds to me that you guys are just really bitter that the new quote unquote canon content is... not super good so you're trying to#vent your frustration in any way you can#which means attacking independent artists who use the platform because it's easier to reach and demolish them rather than the company itself#I log on here to recharge after a day of work and all I see is people acting like twelve year olds trying to be mean like bruh#it's literally the hom3stuck 2 fandom situation I called it#tagging this as discourse so you can blacklist it if you don't wanna be annoyed#discourse#the arcana#dorian era#not art
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List 10 songs with 10 names in the titles that I like, and then tag 10 people.
i was tagged by @nancywheeeler! i thought i would really struggle with this but it turns out there are a ton of songs i love with people's names in the titles, to the point that i had trouble paring the list down. i limited myself to one tom russell/eliza gilkyson song or else this post would just be an american history lesson lol
jackie and wilson - hozier
the lament of eustace scrubb - the oh hellos
augustine - vienna teng
samson - regina spektor
katrinah josephina - universal hall pass
casimir pulaski day - sufjan stevens
sylvia - the antlers
lily, rosemary, and the jack of hearts - originally by bob dylan, covered by tom russell, eliza gilkyson, and joe ely
christine - lucy dacus
gloria - laura branigan
i'm tagging @gerardnurse @interropunct @nangong-shunu @scareqrow @bardicspiration @charmingpplincardigans and whoever else wants to do this because i don't think i have 10 active mutuals nowadays lmao
#i feel like i've been talking about that lily rosemary and the jack of hearts cover so much lately#but in my defense it absolutely slaps#and is one of the only tom russell songs with people's names in the title that isn't just like. unspeakably fucking depressing#speaking of depressing i just realized there are two different songs on this list about someone dying of bone cancer. whoops#also i was originally gonna put jessica by regina spektor on here before remembering samson exists#and i'm sorry but i'm a basic bitch and samson was more formative to me than jessica#actually about me
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Would love to know why my body has suddenly decided that it's okay to give up on trying to function when it's actually super not okay
#not snz#but i am coughing like hell so there's that#I'm not even sick or anything#my respiratory system is just being a bitch#tell me why I've been doing intense cardio for basically my whole life#never had a problem with any of it before#swam at the junior olympic level#was on the track and cross country teams all of high school#and now all of a sudden my throat wants to try to close whenever i run for more than twenty minutes#lung wise i was getting in enough oxygen but Something Was Happening#and it's been like twenty hours at this point and I'm still feeling it in my throat#fucking dying#i can breathe fine now like it's not bad anymore#but i can still fucking feel it#and if i breathe too deeply in makes me cough like hello wtf#my chest gets a little tight sometimes after i run but this is something else#and it's literally only when i run i can do any other type of cardio or exercise and it's fine#and it's not even every single time i run#fucking sporadic#hate it here
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