#so I won't be seeing any increase until next month

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

[mapofthemazeinthemirror]

When you’re sick

Warnings: none, one Monsters Inc. reference I hope won't confuse people

Please let me know which is your favourite!

☆ gender neutral reader

Soobin

You'd tried everything, from warm baths to drinking god-awful concoctions people swore by on the internet. But you were still sick. You'd been holed up in your bedroom for almost a week, leaving poor Soobin to have to sleep on the couch. You missed him, but you couldn't let him catch what you had. The only contact you'd had with him all week was through texting, and the meals he'd leave outside the bedroom door for you.

Of course, you'd been apart longer than this before; being in a successful group, Soobin often went on tour for months at a time. But this almost seemed harder, maybe because you felt miserable physically and just wanted to be held and loved on.

"I just wanted to see you," came his muffled voice, a hint whiny. "I won't come any further than this, I promise."

Sighing, you retreated from hiding. You hadn't seen him with your own eyes for what felt like longer than it actually was. There was no helping how good it felt to look at him now. "I miss you."

His lopsided smile gave you a rush of warmth. "Please get better before I go crazy."

You felt guilty. "I'm sorry. You can go and stay at Taehyun's if you-"

Soobin's mouth quirked, his brow creased. "It's not that. I just want to see you, touch you, have a real conversation. I want to hold you until we fall asleep." You felt the longing for him increase. "You always take care of me when I'm sick, even if you might catch it. Please, let me do the same for you."

His eyes held a helpless look that tugged at your heart as much as his words did. You felt your resolve crack, and it must have shown in your face, Soobin crossing the threshold and shuffling towards the bed. Relief flooded through you as he crawled up next to you and tucked you into his arms. His warmth was everything you'd needed for the past week, and he sighed as you buried your face against his neck. You swear you started melting when you felt his fingers in your hair. This was home.

Yeonjun

You weren't sure how long you'd felt like this. Time seems a blur when most of it is spent in bed, falling in and out of sleep and dreams. It took a monumental effort just to roll from one side to the other, so you couldn't remember the last time you'd eaten or showered. One small mercy was the fact that your ears were blocked, muffling the noise of the world outside the window; birds and neighbours dogs and traffic sounds couldn't disturb your sporadic naps.

Suddenly there was soft skin against your cheek, a warm palm and fingertips that you leaned into without question, and a deep sound somewhere close by. It took a few minutes for your mind to kick in and realise that these things were real and not a dream. Opening your eyes to the dim room, you found a face smiling down at you; your Yeonjun. But something was strange about this. Hadn't you been alone? Wasn't there a reason you were in the middle of the big bed, his pillow trapped between your arms?

"Junie?" You whinced as your voice seemed to reverberate through your head, your throat burning as the word tore through it.

"Hey, baby," he replied softly. You felt his fingers swipe the hair off your forehead before his nose was touching your own.

With what little strength you had, you tried to sink further into the mattress to put space between the two of you. "Jun, I'm- I'm sick."

"It's okay." You felt his arm slither under your back and peel you off the bed, pulling you into him. "I'm here."

You sniffled, swallowing against the dryness of your mouth that comes with not being able to breathe through your nose for so long. "Why?"

"'Why?'" He laughed. "Because the tour ended and I came home to you. Aren't you happy to see me?"

You nodded weakly against his chest. "Junie... I'm sick," you said again, half warning and half complaint.

His hand began to rub your back soothingly, and it felt so good to be in his arms again that you sighed heavily, raspily. "I know, babe, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't..." Words were too hard. Instead, you brought your hand to his chest and tried to push him, rather feebly, away.

A large hand wrapped around your wrist, softly pulling your arm up over his shoulder. "I don't care. I missed you."

Not having it in yourself to argue, you surrendered, letting your body totally relax into his. You had pictured him coming home after tour very differently than this. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to talk about his trip, but you couldn't fight your body. You heard the rumble of his voice again. "What?"

"I'll make you some chicken soup," he repeated. But as he tried to turn to leave the bed you grabbed a handful of his shirt. You heard him chuckle, and his arms were back around you again. "Maybe later, then."

Beomgyu

One minute you were studying, the next you were being woken by your phone blasting the most annoying ringtone Beomgyu had set for himself. You scrambled to snatch the phone off the desk where you had evidently fallen asleep. "Gyu? What time is it?"

"Half past the time you were supposed to meet me at the cinema."

Your heart sank. How long had you been asleep? "Oh no. I'm so sorry, I fell asleep."

"Why do you sound like you're talking into a tin can?"

Now that you were more awake, you noticed the feeling in your throat, the pounding of your head. Sure, falling asleep with your head on a desk wasn't the best, but you'd never known it to make your head feel like this. Come to think of it, you couldn't breathe through your nose very well either. You thought back and vaguely remembered your roommate having had a cough before she left for the weekend. There was a knock at the door.

"Hang on," you said into the phone, crossing the small space to open the door and-

"You look terrible," Beomgyu said, to your face and in your ear before hanging up. His cheeks were flushed, telling you he'd walked all the way here, in the cold, probably to check on you.

"Wow, thanks," you deadpanned as you let him in. "When's the next showing? Maybe we can make that one."

Your boyfriend pulled his hood down and looked at you for a moment before pressing his palm to your forehead. Trying not to flinch at the coldness of his hand, you looked up at him, his eyes still studying you.

"You're hot," he told you.

You scoffed, but it came out as more of a cough. "That's not what you were saying a minute ago."

Without another word, Beomgyu's hands were on your shoulders, turning you around and steering you through the small dorm room and sitting you down on your bed. Then he disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a towel that he pressed against your head.

"I'm fine," you sighed. "Let's go see the movie."

Beomgyu tisked, gesturing for you to hold the towel before dipping to his knees to pull off your slippers. "The only movie you're seeing tonight is the DVD I got you for Christmas." Standing up again, he shooed you up the bed and pulled the covers over you.

"But we've seen that a hundred times," you whined. You'd been looking forward to a night out with your boyfriend; the movie, popcorn, leaving the confines of your dorm room after so many days and nights of studying.

"But you love it," he retorted, mocking your whiny tone. He handed you the remote for the tiny TV at the foot of your bed. "I'm guessing you haven't had dinner?" You shook your head. "Got any cup ramen?" You nodded.

You opened your mouth again to complain, but the words never came as Beomgyu kissed you on the top of the head and walked over to boil the kettle. Instead you let yourself sink into the comfort of your bed, only now noticing how exhausted you actually were. So you weren't going to get your date, but how could you complain when you had a boyfriend like this?

Taehyun

You were up before Taehyun this morning - an unusual occurrence. You'd woken up with a funny feeling in your throat and quickly but quietly escaped his room to cough without waking him. Then you'd tiptoed to the kitchen to boil water, eyes meeting with Yeonjun's who was sitting at the table eating cereal. His smirk said it all.

You were sat on the couch when Taehyun emerged from his room, tired eyes searching for you. By now, Soobin and Beomgyu were also sitting at the table eating. Taehyun plodded over to you. "Morning."

"Don't get contaminated," Yeonjun called, looking up from his phone. You narrowed your eyes at him.

Soobin, who looked like he could've still been half asleep, whipped his head up in confusion, chewing his toast with a new expression.

Taehyun's eyes swept from his friend to you, scanning your face for signs of anything amiss. "Are you not feeling well?"

"M'fine," you croaked, arms wrapped around yourself inside your hoodie as you tried to hold off a shiver.

"Tried to cough up a whole cat this morning," Yeonjun snitched. Soobin looked between Yeonjun and Beomgyu, still puzzled, his messy bed hair comedically flapping side to side.

You rolled your eyes, looking up at Taehyun with a small pout. "I just have a cough. It's probably the change in the weather."

"Or bronchitis."

Taehyun ignored the oldest boy's comment as he crouched down in front of you. "Do you want me to go to the pharmacy?"

"Really," you persisted. "I'm fine. I feel okay, just an itchy throat." As if on cue, you started to cough again, burying your face into the crook of your arm, then quickly tried to recover yourself. "I don't want you to worry."

"Sounds like a duck," Beomgyu said with a tone that gave away his amusement.

Taehyun sighed and rubbed up and down your arms comfortingly. "I just want to help you feel better, so anything you need, you just tell me, okay?"

You nodded. He stood up and went to the kitchen to start breakfast, giving you a kiss on the cheek first. Suddenly there was a commotion, as Beomgyu grabbed his breakfast bowl and ran from the kitchen yelling, "twenty-three nineteen!"

Huening Kai

The first thing that you noticed was a dull ache in your head. You'd taken some pain relief, thinking it was just a normal headache, and pushed on to get ready for your dinner plans. Kai's parents were always so happy to have you for dinner, and to see him catching up with them and his sisters made you happy, too.

You started to feel a little weak halfway through your meal, participating in conversation less and less, and after dinner you'd slipped away to a quiet room for what was supposed to be a few minutes. Your body felt heavy, more exhausted than what would be expected, and as you sat on an armchair in the dimly lit room, you became aware of the dull ache in your muscles. Eyes closing, the sound of distant chatter and laughter from the dining room lulled you quickly into unexpected sleep.

Kai had thought you were gone for the bathroom, and after ten minutes of your absence, his eyes flicking to the door every so often in anticipation of your reappearance, he thought he should check on you - maybe something you'd eaten wasn't agreeing with you. When he'd knocked on the bathroom door and there was no reply, he'd let himself in only to find it empty. He checked the kitchen, then the garden, then walked back to the dining room to see if you'd returned there while he'd been away. His mother joined him as he went to check the living room.

The two of them found you dozing and lowered their voices to a whisper, Mrs. Huening commenting that you hadn't seemed yourself earlier. Kai gently touched the back of his hand to your forehead and found it clammy. This, along with the headache you'd mentioned before the drive up and how quiet you'd been, probably meant you'd come down with something, and he decided to take you home.

That's how you woke up in Kai's arms, in the cold night air, on the way to the car. "There you are," he said when he noticed you awake. "Have a nice nap?"

You noticed a sore throat was beginning as you spoke, glancing around the street. "We're leaving?"

His soft brown eyes met yours as he continued to walk. His arms kept you steady against his chest, so you barely felt like you were on the move. "You're exhausted. You fell asleep."

You hated that you were the reason Kai's family time was being cut short and that you hadn't said goodbye to anyone. "I'm fine, Hyuka. Let's go back. Please?"

He came to a stop as he reached the car, looking down into your eyes again with a soft smile. "You need rest. We'll go home, I'll run a bath, and then we'll get into bed." Seeing you open your mouth to argue, he added, "Let me take care of you."

You couldn't argue with that.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

[suplicyy]

"Wanna Be Your Muse..."

Artist!Reader x Karasuno [Part 2]

Summary — He discover by chance that you love drawing him, maybe even too much...

Characters — Tanaka, Ennoshita, Sugawara, Asahi, Daichi.

— Fluff

— Gn! Reader

You've been together for a month now, and him going to your house and vice versa was starting to become a routine. That day, he was the one who went to your house to spend the afternoon.

You were in your room watching a series, when you said you were going to the bathroom and left the room, leaving him alone there. While you were gone, he watched your room, looking at some posters on the wall, books on the shelf, a notebook open on his desk... – a notebook? - he thought. You usually left your desk tidy, so it was rare to have anything "dropped" on it.

He knew it wasn't good to see your things without permission, especially when you weren't there to let him or not, but he thought about taking the notebook and putting it on the shelf with the others. So when he went towards your desk to get the notebook, he didn't expect to see some drawings of him.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

This man is in love with you more than ever, but now that he has seen your drawings, he is already sure that he would spend the rest of the days of his life with you.

I swear, he almost passed out right there.

As soon as you come back from the bathroom, get ready, because he will praise you until the end of the day (but it's not like he doesn't do this every day, but on this particular occasion his compliments would increase by 100%)

At that moment his eyes almost turned into hearts.

Whenever you would do some of his art, he would offer to be your model; doing poses, gestures, expressions, everything you can imagine.

Chikara Ennoshita

He honestly never thought you would draw him. Among so many things you could observe and put in your notebook, why him?

But other than that, he was quite happy, his cheeks turning pink and an affectionate smile appearing on his face as he watched your artwork that you made with so much affection.

When you got to the room, he would tease you in an affectionate way.

He would try to help you with his opinions when you were in doubt about something.

Draw on paper or digitally? What colors to use? He would try to help you choose these and many other questions.

Sugawara Koushi

He would be so proud of you, I swear.

That definitely made Suga happier than he already was (he always say to you that just being in your company is enough to make him happy).

He would give you lots of kisses all over your face as a thank you!!

There would be times when he would see you drawing, and Suga would sit next to you with a sheet of paper and a pencil and try to draw with you. Even if his aren't as pretty or detailed as yours, you'll have fun together.

He would definitely paste the art you gave him on his bedroom wall. And he would always look at them when he was feeling down as a way to cheer him up a little (and it almost always works).

Asahi Azumane

Someone call an ambulance please, he just had a heart attack...

I'm serious, he was so nervous at that point that at any moment he could let out a not-at-all-manly scream.

Asahi would definitely keep your drawings for life, and always checking them out from time to time.

And if you asked him to draw him someday, he would say yes but he would definitely be a blushing mess.

And I don't know why, but in my mind Asahi is a pretty great artist. He would also draw you, but he would never have the courage to show you because he thinks you won't like them or because they aren't good enough.

Please give him some kisses and praise his drawings, he will be extremely shy about it but his heart will warm with so much love!!!

Sawamura Daichi

He would find the drawings very cute!! If you saw his expression when he was looking at the drawings of himself, you would see a big smile on his face.

Daichi would give you the most comfortable hug you had ever received in your life, and kiss the top of your head affectionately.

He already knew that you drew, and even saw you doing some of them, but he didn't imagine that you would draw him too.

I imagine he would ask you and Yachi to make posters for the volleyball club, with you doing the arts and her doing the designs!

And one of the reasons he did this was not because he wanted to show everyone how well his partner draws, no way... (yes, he did!)

A/N — I barely started writing here and I already disappeared, I'm really sorry guys!!! This week has been really busy for me, so it was a little difficult to finish this one...😭😭😭

And also... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!! I never imagined that in such a short time so many people would read what I'm posting, I'm really very happy!!

— Read part 1 [here] !

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Will I ever see you again?

Captain John Price x Fem Reader.

You met the captain in a fancy bar in town, you had a terrible date and Price took good care of your broken heart, now you wonder if you will have the chance to see him again.

Remember to give me a ♥️ if you like the story.

Warning: nothing important, just spelling and grammatical errors.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

You were sitting close to the bar, with puffy eyes, your lips pumped more than usual, you cried a lot, you were wearing a beautiful red dress, your hair in soft curls and there was a martini In front of you, you wondered why you asked for that, you needed something stronger to drown your sadness.

A man took a seat beside you, you tried to look normal but your face betrayed you.

- Hey Darling, Are you alright?

You looked in his direction and you were amazed, was very handsome, his beard already had some grey hair, but his eyes, blue as the ocean were beautiful, a very muscular body, he was older than you for sure, but that didn't matter, he was so attractive, you smiled at him and nodded.

- I'm fine, sorry, just a bad date.

- Oh sorry about that, if it helps, I bet that guy is an idiot for leaving a beautiful lady like you crying in a bar.

You didn't know if it was the drink giving you bravery or was your broken heart trying to find a way to heal.

- don't be, if it hadn't been a mess I wouldn't be here talking with a handsome man like you.

He chuckled and nodded, you left your sad mood behind, not every day you find a man like him, you batted your eyes coquettishly.

- So, What's your name stranger?

- I'm John, nice to meet you, what about you? What's the name of the beautiful lady I have in front of me?

He kissed your hand and you blushed.

- I'm (y/n).

You and John talked for hours, he invited more drinks then both decided to take a walk, you discovered that you and him have a lot in common, he told you a bit about his work and you told him about yours, then, still with the bravery to flower of skin, you kissed him, he instantly returned the kiss, was good, no one ever kissed you in that way, eagerly, hungry, desperate, but at the same time, soft, sweet and full of desire and love, after that kiss you definitely were sure all your life you had been kissing toads.

The sexual tension increased, you could feel the urgency to be with him, skin to skin. John was more than ready to continue but as the gentleman he was, he asked you for your permission.

- You're so pretty, call me old school, but I won't do anything, until I have your permission.

- I want this John, I want you.

He kissed you one more time and then he took you to his apartment, which was elegant, a mix between industrial and minimalist decorations, the smell of cigar and oak had you on pure ecstasy, John and you didn't waste time, clothes were scattered around the apartment, hands marks in every mirror, glass, furniture, moans were the melody filling the place, sweat, caresses and kisses, was a magical night, unfortunately all the good things have an end.

The next morning you woke up with a thousand calls of your friends and the guy who dated you, then you found yourself alone In the bed, you took all your clothes and stuff and ran. You didn't read the note John left you «Morning Beautiful, I went to buy something for breakfast, brb».

When John went back, you weren't there anymore, he was sad, but just like you, he thought it was just one night's love.

For months you tried to continue with your life, but the flashbacks of Price invaded you, you weren't dating no one anymore, no one was like John. You visited the bar where you met him a couple times waiting to find him, but it was a waste of time, he wasn't there. You didn't remember the way to his house, you were desperate, Where was he? Was he even real?.

You were walking around, you lived in a small town but with every step you gave the town looked more and more bigger, it was starting to rain but you didn't care, a taxi passed by your side but you didn't even try to look at it, until you heard the car stopped and a voice calling your name caught your attention.

- Y/N!?

You turned your head and there he was, those blue eyes, brown hair, beard with some gray hair, tall and muscular.

- John!

You jumped into his arms, you kissed him, you had him once again.

[stusbunker]

Spotless: Eco

Chapter Eleven

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Other characters: Bobby, Bela, Dick Roman and Kobe Bryant mentioned (look, he wasn't supposed to be here but I did my research and well, he had to be), Anael, faceless paps

Word Count: 1683 with pictures

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, tour planning, brunch and shopping with Bela, unbeta'd

Series Masterlist

“Okay, well the official schedule from the touring company arrived, so I have maybe a week to set up the promo interviews before they announce it publicly,” you said over the phone.

“Yeah, with Crowley it’s probably gonna be sooner. Annie’s gotta find someone to step in for the whole year with this so she’s already interviewing. Let me know if you need anything, because I’m just sitting on my hands until we’re actually rolling out,” Bobby replied solemnly.

The give me something to do, please, was implied.

“Check with Benny and his boys, I know the label is supplying some guys too, but I trust you to secure the crew and security schedules,” you said as you made another note on your ever increasing list of to do’s.

Two months may have seemed like a long time, but it was the shortest turn around you’d had for a tour since taking over as publicist for Phantom Traveler and you’d be damned if you fucked it up.

“With the holidays coming up, we’ll be in a pinch to get everything nailed down. But all the commotion with Bela and everything, people will be chomping at the bit to get actual news,” you added, staring unfocused at your computer monitor.

“And he’s got that interview coming up you said, just Dean for that one?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I really hope Meg doesn’t eat him alive. But it’s his chance to give his side of things and for people to see where his head is at now.”

“The sassy little brunette, right?”

“The very one.”

“Is it going to be a tit-for-tat thing? Is Cas gonna be next for a tell-all?”

“Bobby, I don’t think Cas would do an interview and talk bad about Dean even if they paid him. He’s moved on.”

“If you say so, Dean didn’t exactly play nice.”

“He must have had hundreds of offers for the dirt since leaving the band. And everything I hear about him now is just about the kid he’s working with and how they’re creating something unique.”

“I just know how that reporter liked him— the last time.”

“I’m sure she’s going in with the bias against Dean here. Time will tell if she can be swayed,” you admitted. “Plus, Dean won't be alone. We made sure there'll be a few of us there to make it easier.”

“To keep him from making a damned fool of himself you mean.”

“Basically.”

Bobby sat on the other end of the line with his gruff silence before continuing, “you going home for Christmas?”

“Yeah, got the usual stuff with my folks for Christmas Eve then I’m helping Ellen on Christmas day. I’m flying so I won’t be gone more than a few days. Probably end up spending half of it at airports with my luck.”

“Okay, just checkin’.”

“You guys have any plans?”

“Just service on the night before and maybe something with Annie’s cousins. Might just be a train of open houses.”

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“Hey, I didn’t say I’d enjoy myself.”

You laughed and wrapped it up with a promise to touch base before you left town. The next two days were a whirlwind of emails and phone calls. You put off confirming brunch with Bela for Sunday, but relented from guilt, as she now had regular visits from paparazzi outside her townhouse due to her and Dean’s night club-hopping. You finished up your Saturday errands and plopped yourself onto your stationary bike in a last ditch effort to fend off your restlessness until it was a reasonable enough time to crash.

God, your life was so exciting.

Bela poured you another glass from the endless pitcher of mimosas. “Anyway, I guess Dean got us tickets to the Lakers’ game tomorrow night, like I actually care about baseball.”

“Basketball,” you corrected, taking a sip.

“Exactly,” Bela smirked.

“How good are the tickets? He doesn’t really follow it either,” you continued, worried they’d be in an embarrassing section.

“I think he said something about getting the label’s box for the game?” She tried to play innocent.

You almost spit out your drink. “The entire box?”

“It’s not floor seats’ exposure, but it will be worth it at least. I think he said he called in a favor with Dick?”

“Dick Roman is giving Dean access to his exclusive luxury box at the Staples Center?” You were floored, you opened your phone and googled who they were playing. “Holy fuck, they’re retiring Kobe’s number tomorrow. It’s going to be insane. There’s no way that box isn’t gonna be packed, but at least you can bump elbows with the uppity ups.”

“Kobe Bryant, yeah? He was quite prolific,” Bela seemed pleased. 

“Uh, yeah, played his whole career here,” you added, but put your phone away. Unwilling to text Dean a ‘wtf’ text while you still had another hour of drinks and foodstuffs to get through. “What are you going to wear?”

Bela slid her most compelling face on. “I was hoping we could find something together. It’s been ages since we drunk shopped. Plus, it’s the holidays so I will need to be a bit tipsy if I want to deal with the crowds.”

You had literally nothing left to buy for Christmas, but drunk shopping was a time-honored tradition between the two of you. Plus, it was fun watching Bela work her magic and pull a stunning outfit together out of seemingly discordant pieces.

“Three stores and I’m getting my own ride home, missy,” you warned with a firm pointer finger.

“Of course!” Bela chuckled and tucked into her eggs, eyes flitting back to you with conspiratorial delight.

You finished off your mimosa and finally saw to your french toast.

Bela’s driver took you to all of her favorite haunts and naturally she weaseled her way in to see the best stylists, at least those who were actually on hand on the Sunday afternoon before Christmas. At Sister Jo’s boutique, the owner herself greeted Bela with a double cheek kiss and hug. 

“What are you doing here? Wait, don’t tell me, you need an outfit asap because your little rocker boy toy needs arm candy,” the woman, who was actually named Anael, teased.

“You know me too well,” Bela replied. “This is my dear friend, Y/N, and we’re a bit on the tilt from brunch, but I simply had to come see you. I need something casual and sexy. It’s for a basketball game.”

You waved as she nodded in your direction, not wanting to break the momentum.

Anael frowned and looked Bela over, with much consideration. Then she hummed before asking, “how do you feel about hats?”

Nearly two hours and a top off on champagne later (to keep your buzzes going), you and Bela walked out of the shop with a bag each and a receipt ensuring Bela would be back in the morning for the alterations on the remaining garments.  

“Well, I’d say that was a successful outing,” Bela said with pride, the pink in her cheeks the only hint of her lingering inebriation.

“I’d say,” you agreed, opening the back door of her pre-ordered ride. “I still can’t believe they had something that would work for me for New Year’s.”

Bela waited on the curb until she could slide in the other side, but continued your trail of thought. “Anael is good people, if she likes something, she carries it. Doesn’t matter the size or price, she is all about how an outfit makes you feel,” Bela explained.

“Well, it worked, because I just spent more on myself than I have the entire year because of how good it felt on, so I get it,” you said, patting the bag at your feet.

Bela confirmed your address with the driver and then hers, thanking them for going out of their way in a way that she wasn’t actually apologizing for being a burden.

“You got eyes on you lady,” the driver warned, pointing towards the corner where a camera lens was trained on the car.

“Ignore them, they’ll find someone else before they follow us very far,” Bela promised and you could see her almost glaring at the rearview mirror for the driver to get the lead out.

You sat on the couch in your robe and sleep pants, hair still wet and wrapped on top of your head. You had crashed for a late afternoon nap after shopping and had rebounded with a blissfully long shower and skincare treatment. Now you watched mind numbing television and plotted out your schedule for the coming week. Even though it was cut short with holiday travels, it was full-to-bursting with things to get done.

You sighed and dragged out your suitcase from under your bed, dropped it on the couch and unzipped it to start packing. At least you could watch something while you organized. 

Just after ten your phone buzzed with a text message. You ignored it for a minute until you could find the remote beneath your pile of socks and paused your Lord of the Rings rewatch.

You stared at the conversation with the movie still paused, dumbfounded. One, that Dean sent you a goodnight text of all things and secondly that he was going to willingly give Bela his phone to post on social media about them. Because it’s not official until they’re both posting each other, or so they say. This was going to be big for the fan girls. You already knew Becky would be emailing you the second she saw it. But as far as fanclub presidents went, she wasn’t the worst. Then again, she would be more than a little bitter if Sam and Madison were the ones flaunting their relationship.

You put a reminder in your calendar to cover an extra sweep of SM while you were waiting out Dean’s interview Tuesday morning and then you tossed your phone back amongst your clothes. You were done for the night and so you shoved your half-packed suitcase on the floor and restarted the movie.

Tagging:

@deans-spinster-witch

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

Chapter Twelve: Hook

[the-final-sif]

In a period where we are seeing increasing levels of bad faith takes, particularly from right wing assholes/terfs/nazis/etc, I think it's time that people on the left learn about eating the red card. The best example I've heard of shrugging off fake power structures.

Transcript below the cut.

Mike: Sure.

Dan: Mhm. So did you say any of those things by the way?

Mike: Nope. I didn't say any of that.

Jordan: Maybe next time.

Dan: Interesting.

Mike: Maybe next time. [crosstalk with Jordan], maybe cnn can invite me on and give me a shot-

Jordan [crosstalk with Mike]: Next time you're on CNN, give it a try.

Mike: I will say all those things, but that won't matter because I'll just have not said something else.

Jordan: No it won't.

Dan: Yeah. Go on and say, just do a satanic ritual on air and see- see how he plays that one.

Jordan: That's where I feel like we're like we're at-

Dan: He'll probably ignore it.

Jordan: I feel like we're all in eat the red card territory. You know, like if somebody says, "Oh, you, you're, you lied about this." Just be like, yeah, you're fucking right. I did. And I'll do it to your face and your mom's face! Fuck you!

Dan: Is that, is that a reference to my story?

Jordan: Yeah.

Dan: Okay. I didn't know if that-

Jordan: That resonated with me.

Dan: I didn't know if that was like vernacular-

Jordan: No, no, for me-

Dan: Wow.

Jordan: Yeah, that story is stuck with me forever.

Dan: That's pretty sweet.

Jordan: I love that story.

Dan: So Mike, I'll give you the short version of this.

Mike: Okay.

Jordan: When I was a kid, my parents only let us play soccer because the other games were like, I don't know, not European enough or something.

Mike: Oh, sure, okay.

Dan: We, we would play and on my brother's team, there was this guy who was kind of a bad-ass. And so in one game, he got a yellow card and he ate it.

Mike: Wow.

Dan: And so immediately the ref pulled out a red card, gave it to him, and he ate that too.

Mike:: Yeah.

Jordan: Like- what do you- See, I feel like that's just such a great story of like, what did you think was going to happen? You thought that you would exercise your real authority finally. And the truth is you have none because I'm going to eat this red fucking card and then walk away. You're nothing to me. Yeah.

Dan: So that, in sort of the metaphor, that is doing a satanic ritual on CNN.

Jordan: Yeah, totally. Absolutely. Yeah!

Jordan: Oh, they say he does satanic rituals. Fucking- let's see if I can do one! If you think satanic rituals are real and you believe that I do them,then should I do one on TV? It should work.

Mike: Yep.

Jordan: So eat the red card, man!

Dan: Don't do that.

Jordan: See if you can summon a demon.

Dan: Mike, don't do this.

Jordan: Summon a demon, Mike. Mike summon a demon.

Dan: There's an angel in a, uh, pride, uh, devil month on your shoulder.

Mike: Pride demon month- gotta go out in my pride demon month shirt?

Jordan: Angel month isn't until August. You've still got a couple of days.

[stxrvel]

greatest fear (3)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: bucky has to learn to deal with the fact that things don't always work out the way we want them to.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k i think

warnings: none? angst, that's for sure

note: hello!!! i think it's been almost a month? but better late than never. this didn't came out like i wanted at all, but i'm still gonna publish it bc i don't dislike it that much. i probably could've approach the subject way better. maybe i'll edit this someday. anyway, i do hope you all like this and give it some love 💜 i'll try to keep it up to get you guys pt 4 sooner, but i don't promise anything. feedback is always appreciate!! thank u all!!

masterlist | next | series masterlist

Everyone already knew Bucky's greatest fear. He had spent years being untouchable, seemingly the only person on the team who wasn't afraid of anything, not even living on the edge. They had spent years getting used to seeing the inscrutable face of an emotionless man. And they'd spent years thinking that was never going to change. To be honest, Bucky believed the same thing. As he resumed his “normal”, ordinary life, he felt that there was nothing he hadn't experienced before and that, because of that, there was nothing that could really hurt him. So why bother worrying about anything, why be afraid in the first place?

Bucky used to be an unflappable person. Even after meeting you, after confessing his feelings for you, after knowing that you might be a weak spot, Bucky still thought he wasn't afraid of anything. What's more, with you by his side he considered himself an invincible person. Unreachable. The people around him saw him as so sure of himself that they never once doubted that he could be the most fearless man in the world.

Until you had the accident.

Bucky began to see the world in dark colors. He had been afraid, yes, he had said so many times. But he was also struck by how close he had come to going insane. The people around him had ceased to view him with respect, but with concern. He had never allowed himself to be seen that way, because even if he had ever felt in a similar way, he had never been as strong as he was that time. He was at a point of vulnerability that was almost incomparable to anything that had happened in his life before.

The level of despair and stress he was dealing with from the moment he found out about your accident until months later when he knew how to manage his emotions, he couldn't quantify it in a rational way.

And the people around him were sympathetic, but he still hated that he had let himself be seen that way. The quivering mess he'd become since he found out about it haunted him like a symphony echoing in his head on the highest note. Sometimes it wouldn't let him think, wouldn't let him remember, wouldn't let him live. Even being there in a room with you, there was nothing but a din of incongruous notes crashing against each other, without any harmony, without any order.

At other times there was silence. A deafening silence sometimes accompanied by a beeping that increased as the minutes progressed. The voices were echoes and the images were blurred figures in the distance. There was nothing else in his head but space to process the silence.

Everyone knew Bucky's biggest fear, and it had caused him some long-term problems that he still didn't know how to handle. Since everyone knew that, he was no longer the fearless Bucky, the most daring person. Now he seemed to be perceived as a walking time bomb, even though he seemed to be the one who handled the situation the best… well, not from the beginning, but he learned to cope.

He hated that that stage of vulnerability had become so embedded in the memories of others that it was now the only thing they evoked when they thought of him. He hated that consideration. As much as he wanted and appreciated the support, he hated when it came from regret. From condescension. Of the wary glances. Like tiptoeing around him in fear that he would explode at any moment.

That was how Bucky felt at that moment. With everyone watching him around him, thinking that at any moment he would freak out and start screaming at each of them.

“She's okay now,” Bucky heard Natasha's voice flooding the room that had become the recipient of an imperturbably uncomfortable silence. Her voice was neutral, calm and patient, like the others', even though their faces showed incomparable chagrin.

Bucky let out a long sigh and let his gaze fall on any object in that room.

The rain was lashing hard against the city that day. The drops bounced off the large window and fell swiftly towards the end of their ephemeral life where gravity used to drag them down. The cold crept into the building through every crevice it could find, as if seeking any refuge from itself within the warmth of the human structure.

Bucky didn't plan to ever feel fear again.

He was constantly surrounded by worry, but tried to reassure himself that you were in a safe place surrounded by people who were willing to protect you. Until Steve appeared running down the hallway of the rooms shouting his name, and then yours, and then named Dr. Cho. A peculiar combination of words but they were enough to push him over the edge.

He had never run so fast from one end of the building to the other since that fateful day.

Memories slipped as fast in front of his eyes as raindrops did that day, swept away by the restlessness of his mind surrounding almost possible catastrophic scenario. Bucky knew he shouldn't do that, but telling him not to was like going against nature.

The worst part was that he couldn't see you as soon as he got to the medical wing of the Complex. He could barely make you out through the glass doors.

And so hours went by.

Bucky stayed in the next room waiting for some news, when one by one the others began to arrive.

Near midnight Natasha appeared and finally gave him good news.

“They stabilized her and are now waiting for the drugs to take effect.”

Bucky nodded at her words and the vibe in the room finally changed. Sighs of relief and comforting words leapt into full view, but Natasha didn't take her eyes off Bucky.

“What happened to her?” he finally dared to ask, though he knew the answer the moment the redhead entered the room.

“They still don't know. One moment they thought it was cardiac arrest, then a stroke, then she had seizures. But finally she was just… still. At some point she regained consciousness and said her whole body hurt. The doctor gave her some medication and now she sleeps. All her vitals are fine, like nothing ever happened.”

Bucky was not thinking clearly. He had understood every single word that came out of Natasha's mouth, but he couldn't pin his thoughts down to a single idea. His mind was conjecturing at an incomprehensible speed and it was causing him severe irritability that he couldn't come up with a solution.

“Did she say anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

--

It had been six hours when you woke up. Bucky had settled into a chair in the corner of the room, not too far or too close to where you were lying, and was trying to get some sleep, but worry wouldn't leave him. Steve accompanied him for a while before he had to leave on a mission, and Natasha stopped by at some point to drop off something to eat before leaving, just like Steve, on a mission. After that, he must have spent about two hours trying to fall asleep, but it seemed an impossible task. The constant sound of the machine monitoring your heart kept him unconsciously aware of his surroundings. And, even if there were no external stimuli to keep him awake, his mind would have done so. The fear, the panic, the hopelessness…. He almost feared that you would never even wake up again.

His body almost reacted to your movements because he opened his eyes just as you were beginning to move on the gurney.

“Y/N?”

Rising from the chair, he began to slowly approach you, even though his body was begging him to run to your side and wrap you in his arms. He watched you move one of your arms to cover your eyes for a moment, before focusing your gaze on his.

Your frown did not bring him good news.

“Where am I?”

Finally reaching where you were, Bucky pressed the button on the side of the gurney to call the doctor, his heart heavy and aching. That those were the first words out of your mouth should have made him understand what had happened, and in a matter of seconds the limbs of his body shook with a shudder. But it couldn't be like that, he couldn't go through that again. Bucky was not in the capacity to go through that again.

He was promptly convinced otherwise and focused on your confused expression.

“You're at the Avengers Complex in Washington.”

“What do I do…?”

“You were in an accident. You lost consciousness for several hours.”

The dazed expression on your face didn't change and Bucky's nerves ascended with each passing second. The words came out of his mouth as an automatic response and your face contracted taking in the reality, but you didn't seem to make peace with understanding. The few things Bucky had told you seemed to only worsen your state of confusion.

“Do you know what day it is?”

When you shook your head, Bucky felt a cold chill run through him as if he were standing in the middle of a heavy snowfall. The fear he had deprived himself of and had almost prayed he would never feel again was making its way through his mind and body, and if he didn't stay calm things were not going to go well.

“It's November fourth of the year 2023. Do you remember anything about this year?”

You shook your head again. Your expression was starting to change from confusion to fear and Bucky knew he had to do something soon to keep you from being consumed by the feeling.

“No… No, I don't understand… what's going on. It's like my head is totally black. There's no-I don't see…”

Your distressed gaze met Bucky's and your bewilderment bordering on concern caused a pang in his heart. He felt like he could die of a broken heart at that moment. He didn't know what the look on his face was, but he knew it must not be as neutral as he wanted it to be because somehow he had to let out the feeling that was choking him at that moment. It seemed like that look Bucky had on his face gave your tears permission to start bulging in your eyes.

“I can't remember anything. At all,” you sobbed. “I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember who-”

Bucky watched your eyes move around the room and noticed how you clenched your hands on the sheet. Your breathing becoming ragged confirmed to him that you were about to have a panic attack. Of all the times he had done it before, he automatically reached out to you and took your hands in his. He swallowed the feeling that wanted to overpower him and the hopelessness in a second. He couldn't leave you in that situation at that moment. Your glassy, big eyes turned to his.

“You're okay right now, okay?” with your eyes locked on his, still breathing erratically and your heart about to burst, you nodded slightly. “Okay, then breathe with me and then we'll talk again.”

Bucky took a deep breath, lifting his shoulders and not taking his eyes off yours to urge you to mimic him. He stayed in that position until you did the same, taking a shaky breath and tightening your fingers around his hand. The tears wouldn't stop coming and the sight almost made him cower in the corner of his head to cry with you.

“Now let the air out of your mouth slowly.”

Exemplifying your words, Bucky let the air out and you mimicked him next, still not letting go of the trembling.

Bucky took another deep breath and you followed suit, expelling the air once he did.

Like that, again and again.

And again.

And again.

Until you could only stare into his blue eyes without a single thought in your head.

“Feeling better?”

You nodded without a word.

Bucky could notice your lowered shoulders and the few tears on your red cheeks, so he ventured to let go of your hands. He didn't let it go unnoticed the way your eyes parted from his, after so long, to observe the place where your hands were joined. You intertwined your own hands and let out a sigh. Bucky had to swallow again the feeling and the urge to move closer. It made him angry inside because he thought he had already learned how to handle the distance and because he didn't think he would have to go through such a scenario again, but life is full of surprises.

“I understand that you're scared and worried, okay? But I want you to try to stay calm for a while while Dr. Cho asks you some questions and runs some tests, are you okay with that?”

Bucky watched as you shook your head as he pointed behind him to where there were two women standing in the door frame who he had heard enter a few minutes ago, but didn't acknowledge their arrival until you were calm and willing. He was dying to know what had been going through your head as you cocked it and frowned slightly watching the women.

“Yes,” you barely mumbled, but Bucky could hear you perfectly. He could hear you even in any kind of crowd.

With a heaviness in his soul, Bucky got up from the gurney and gave Dr. Cho and the nurse, Christina, room to pass.

He took a few more steps away, until he was near the door, and it weighed on him to see how your eyes did not leave his figure. He didn't know whether to leave or to stay there waiting for them to finish. He didn't want to leave you alone, that was clear, but the pressure in his chest grew stronger with each passing second, and he wasn't sure he could stay any longer if you kept looking at him like that. Like he was the only person in the room, like he was the only person who mattered, like he was someone you remembered… but you don't. You don't remember him. Not anymore.

--

Bucky found himself wandering around the Complex until he decided to settle on the rooftop. He thought that spending that time alone wouldn't do him much good because his mind would replay over and over again the moment when you had that frightened expression on your face again, and then he wouldn't have time to try to calm down and regain his composure. And he did. For a few minutes.

Bucky let his mind snap. The tension building up on his shoulders was too much, and if he didn't let it out, he feared it would explode inside him. He was thankful to be alone at that moment because he didn't like to cry around people. Not just crying, but expressing too much in general.

At that moment he was crying not only for his suffering, but for yours. Because more than not wanting to go through it himself, he had to think about what you must be feeling and thinking, being in a completely foreign environment and with strangers proclaiming to know you more than you know yourself. Bucky hated the thought of you having to go through that again, even if you didn't remember the first time. Bucky was crying on that rooftop because once again life had robbed you of the well-being you deserved, because you could no longer spend a moment fully aware of yourself.

More than his pain, Bucky ached to think of yours.

And what could he do about it? Nothing. Just like last time.

He didn't know how long he'd been there, arms resting on the edge of the rooftop overlooking the green field around Complex. He only knew it was around noon when Tony Stark opened the door behind him.

“You must be hungry,” was the first thing the man behind him said, trying to lighten the tense mood that must have been surrounding Bucky at that moment. But no, he didn't have time to think about mundane things.

“Not really.”

A silence settled and he knew Tony must be weighing whether or not it had been a good idea to show up there knowing he was alone. Bucky really didn't mean to be hostile, he just felt too much anger and rage against life and the universe inside his body that he wanted to get out somehow. It wasn't the right thing to do, of course, and he was trying to control himself, but he didn't deny that it would be difficult.

“I'll leave it here, anyway. Just in case.”

Bucky caught the sound of the bag and then the sound of Tony's shoes that weren't moving away but coming closer.

“Thanks.”

“It's the least I could do.”

“And you didn't have to. I was almost going down anyway.”

Tony snorted, moving closer to the wall where Bucky was leaning.

“Surely you don't even know what time it is.”

“Surely,” Bucky agreed, nodding.

Both men took a detailed look at the trees stretching a long distance away in an oddly comfortable silence.

“Did Dr. Cho say anything?”

Tony turned to watch him, and stood for a moment pondering what to say.

“Everything's fine. She ran several tests, but everything came back fine.”

“Everything's fine except her memories are gone again.”

“She thinks it may be some kind of condition left in her brain after the accident.”

“It's been over a year now, Tony.”

“I know. They're exploring every alternative.”

Bucky nodded, getting a bitter feeling in his mouth. He knew he should be grateful you were alive, but damn, did you have to go through all that?

“How's she doing?”

“She's looking good. She hit it off real quick with Christina and was eating with Clint when I came out.”

“And she's eating well?”

“Yeah, the usual.”

Bucky nodded again. Maybe he should come back, stay with you for a while and talk about some things; anything. But every time he thought about going back he felt that tug in his chest that made him recoil from any progress. He didn't want the situation to overcome him, but he was losing the battle.

“Barnes, I wanted to tell you-”

“Tony, it's not necessary.”

“It is, especially at this time.”

“No, it's not,” Bucky spat, shifting his body to stare at the mechanic. “Especially right now, it's not.”

The man pursed his lips and Bucky turned away to look at the lunch that should have been inside the white bag on the table.

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. That was it.”

Bucky turned to look at the man who had settled in the same way, both of them with their backs to the green field. Bucky sighed, and knowing Tony he knew he couldn't leave without having his conversation. But maybe that would do him good. It had been months since he'd last talked to anyone about that situation.

“There was no way to foresee it, you know that.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky watched the man shake his head as he did every time someone gave him a similar comment. He just wouldn't accept it.

“I could have been more vigilant, you know? I've spent my life trying to learn from my mistakes, trying to take care of the people in my charge, trying to do my best to keep everyone safe. I still don't understand how… How I could have made that mistake.”

“We were dealing with something bigger than ourselves. I think, even if you had gone all out, there couldn't have been any other ending. And believe me when I tell you I'm the person who would have wanted another ending.”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest with his eyes on the rooftop floor. His mind roamed over those memories he tried not to return to under any circumstances, and he allowed it only because he couldn't deal with that situation any other way.

“I had to have tried.”

“Tony, I know you did your best. And I also know that after everything that happened you asked FRIDAY a thousand times if there would have been another chance to have avoided what happened. Did you have an answer?”

Tony didn't answer.

“Then it doesn't make sense for you to blame yourself for something you simply couldn't have controlled. I guess that's the way things were supposed to be.”

“It's unfair.”

“Life isn't fair to anyone.”

Bucky stepped away from the wall and reached over to take the bag Tony had brought him. “Thanks for this.”

And without further ado, he walked into the building once more.

--

From outside, Bucky watched you talking animatedly with Clint and Carol. Dr. Cho had told him that, although she had not yet been able to find the reason why you had lost your memories again, you were in perfect health. Bucky wanted to punch a wall, but settled for thanking her for looking out for you.

The day had gotten extremely long and he had only spent a quarter of it with you. It was already dusk and he had barely mustered the strength to come see you. And seeing you there, so giggly and happy, made him question whether he should come in and ruin all the fun. He knew his face was a jumble of a hundred emotions that he still couldn't quite control, because even seeing you caused him a sharp pain in his heart that he couldn't tolerate. So he didn't know if going in looking like that was the best choice.

But before he could weigh it further, your gaze met his through the masses of air, and his breath hitched for a few seconds.

The look of recognition you gave him brought a sense of warmth to his body. It was like wiping a damp cloth over his bruised heart. Bucky knew you didn't remember him, but that in such a short time you could give him that kind of look meant too much to him. Your face looked much more serene than the last time you had seen each other, and you no longer had so many wires around your body embedded in your skin, from what he could see from a distance.

Maybe it was indeed safe for him to enter.

Act normal, act normal…

“Hi, Bucky!” you greeted him effusively.

Bucky felt his body faint. Halfway through he planted his feet on the ground and watched the other two with you hold back smiles. Well, Clint wasn't so sneaky.

“How's it goig Bucky? Did you enjoy lunch? It was courtesy of Tony for everyone.”

“Yeah,” he replied dryly. He knew Clint was trying to keep his spirits up, but he didn't feel moodily ready to keep talking to other people, just to share a pleasant silence with you.

“Y/N ordered ravioli,” Carol added to the conversation, turning to look at your red face. “And she also ordered your lunch.”

Bucky frowned.

“I'm glad you liked it,” you mumbled in his direction, barely audible but crystal clear to him. His heart flipped, and he hated that his mind was trying to remind him of where he stood. He wanted a small moment of ignorance.

He didn't know what to say other than thank you, so he just stood there in front of them in a very awkward position.

“All right, Y/N, our fun is over.”

“You're leaving already?”

Bucky detailed you looking at Clint as he and Carol stretched to leave. He mentally wondered if it bothered you to be left alone with his presence, if you didn't want them to leave and leave you with him. If you saw him as an annoying, grumpy figure. He wondered if the others had said something to you about him that suddenly made you see him in a less sympathetic or friendly light. He wondered if-

“We have a mission to attend, and we're very punctual,” Carol's voice broke in on Bucky's train of thought.

“As soon as we get back we'll be here. We have a lot of other things to talk about.”

“Okay, have a good one!”

Bucky watched you shake your hand in farewell to the two people who were leaving the room and was surprised at how much your attitude had changed since he saw you after you woke up. But hey, it had been a while since then. Maybe you had been able to make peace with what had happened by now, and they must have told you everything?

“How are you?” Bucky found himself suddenly asking.

“I'm feeling fine. Besides the obvious, I'm not in any more pain. Dr. Cho told me I'll probably be discharged tomorrow.”

“That's good,” the man mused. “And you want to talk? About what happened.”

You made a thoughtful grimace that Bucky found quite tender, but his mind conjured up the times when you'd made similar grimaces in the past and he'd planted a kiss on your mouth. It wasn't a good time to reminisce about things like that, and the twinge in his heart proved him right.

“Not really,” you replied. “Why don't we talk about you?”

“About me?”

“Yes.”

“And what things do you want to talk about me?”

“Well, I was told that our relationship was different from the friendship I had with everyone else, so we can start there.”

“You want to know what kind of relationship we had?”

“Mm-hm.”

“We were married.”

Your eyes expanded in surprise, as if you expected any answer but that one. Which was strange for Bucky because he couldn't conceive of what other kind of relationship you could have besides a friendship.

“Married?”

“Yes.”

“But I don't have any rings,” you mumbled as you held up both hands to look at your fingers, then held them out to him, as if to let him see you weren't lying.

“You don't use it anymore.”

“Why?”

“Well…” Bucky didn't know how far to go with his historical account because he didn't know how much Dr. Cho or the others had told you and he didn't want to saturate you with information either. “What do you know about what happened?”

You took a deep breath and brought your hands to your lap as if you had been waiting for that question. It probably was.

“Dr. Cho told me that I had an accident over a year ago due to which I was in a coma and lost my memory. That a couple of months after being in the hospital I was discharged and came to live here. And that almost two days ago I had some kind of incident that caused me to lose my memory again.”

Bucky was taken aback by the matter-of-fact way you told him all that. The only thing that was going around in his mind was how before you didn't like to mention the subject at all and used to avoid it any way you could unless it was strictly necessary. At that moment it was as if you were telling someone else's story and not your own, because not a hint of emotion could be seen on your face.

“Then why don't I wear the ring?”

Bucky held his frown. This was definitely almost that much of a sharp change to the last few times he interacted with you.

“Hum… You've had it removed since the accident and I gave it to you after some time in the hospital, but I told you that you didn't have to wear it if you didn't want to.”

“Oh, I understand. So I decided not to wear it. And where is it?”

“I don't know. You kept it. Maybe it's somewhere in your room.”

“Right. I'll go look for it when I get back.”

Bucky nodded at your words not really knowing what to say. He didn't know how to act in reason to your behavior. Well, it should be good that it didn't seem to affect you as hard as it did before, but he found it hard to believe that it didn't affect you at all. Could it be that it really was?

He couldn't know for sure, but the calm expression on your face was about to convince him completely. The way you looked like you didn't have a care in the world made him feel much better, and he would definitely battle to make it last much longer.

“Besides that, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

Too many things.

“No.”

You let out a short laugh that bloomed in Bucky's chest.

“Then our relationship boils down to: we were married, and that's it.”

The man shrugged, not really having a clue what else to say about it.

At his gesture, you exhaled with a determined look.

“We were close?”

“Yes.”

“Did we make jokes?”

“Yes. You mostly.”

“It definitely had to be that way. Did we go out on dates often?”

“Yes.”

“Did we argue?”

“Not a lot.”

“Okay. Did we buy each other gifts?”

“Yeah.”

“Aw. Did we live together?”

“Sure.”

“Did we sleep in the same bed?”

“Of course.”

Bucky frowned as you stood for a few seconds in silence, just watching his face.

“We had children?”

The man went blank for a few seconds, only looking into your eyes. He definitely wasn't expecting that question, but it was something that had been on his mind a lot before.

“No.”

“Ah. So, did we travel a lot?”

“Yes, we traveled quite a bit.”

“Excellent!” you smiled genuinely at him, with that kind of smile he loved and that since the accident he had almost never seen. If he had seen it, it hadn't been directed at him. “Then we were a good match.”

Bucky smiled. It was almost an instinct. His mind flashed back to the one memory that at the time didn't cause him sadness: sometime, someday, you had told him that some questions had to be answered in a positive way to know if they had fulfilled their purpose of being a perfect couple. He didn't remember if it was those same questions, but he could make the connection to that memory he had of you at the time. Then, for a second, he allowed himself to enjoy the present. No worries, no sadness. You were alive right there in front of him, in an excellent state of health and, it seemed, a good state of mind. Beyond that, what could he ask for? All that was left for him to do was to make the most of every moment he had.

“Yes, we were a good couple.”

--------

A/N

😶😶😶😶😶

what are we thinking?

Taglist: @cjand10 @yallgotkik @ruffdog921 @coracal @its-just-kayy @pono-pura-vida @vampiresarezombies @kaz11283

[enniewritesathing]

memory management (trepidation 2)

⏮️Previous || (📚Previous Stories) || Beginning ▶️

Daniel: "What did you say?"

Bernard: "I said what I said; I ain't scared of you."

"Stop your goddamn whingin' or get out."

Daniel: "...you son of a bitch."

Jordan: "Oh my god, we do not need you two arguing right now!"

Charles: "Now, my dear Jordan. We have come to an impasse that needs to be addressed immediately."

(The tension between these two! Oh, what an opportunity to sow discord.) "That said, I will propose a vote -- stop the trial or continue on until we exhaust all attempts, even if there's no definitive results.

"Daniel. Bernard. Since you two clearly have opinions, you may say your argument for, against, or even abstain. Jordan, if you don't mind being last."

Jordan: "No, sir."

Charles: "Good. Daniel. Your vote and argument."

(Daniel stares down Bernard. Charles already knows his position.) "Against."

Bernard: (scoffs) "Of course you are. Well, let's hear it, big man!"

Daniel: "Where do I start? We're on the fifth dosage and there hasn't been much of a response except that John's getting weaker. He hasn't healed completely from when we initially started this. His rhythm is becoming unstable. There's too much strain on his heart."

"He's not showing signs of turning back; he is fighting what we throw at him with everything he's got. This lycan side of his will not give up unless we kill him and that's what we're doing right now. That is not the goal here!"

(Daniel leans forward.) "Our goal is to find away for John to reverse his transformation in a way that's conducive. Honestly? It's becoming clear that it's impossible. We probably had a better chance when he first came to us... but he was a child."

"We've done all we can do. It's time to stop."

Charles: "Well, you've certainly made a... compelling argument."

(Of course, he knows that it was aimed directly at him than Bernard. Hmph. He had more bite hours ago.)

Charles: "Bernard."

Bernard: "Yeah, it's my turn now. Here's the thing, Dan--"

"We've worked way too fuckin' hard and too fuckin' much for us to just quit. Stop? Are you insane?"

"In case you forgot -- John -- wants to be normal, okay? Completely valid of him, even. But no, he's a goddamn werewolf! Who almost killed Jordan first fucking chance he got! He's a ticking time bomb! What the fuck will happen if we don't stop him? Huh? John wants him locked down, suppressed, whatever! And you know what, Dan?

"When we asked him what did he want to do about this damn dog? He told us, 'do what it takes'. We gotta respect the man's wish, Dan! We gotta try an' help! I feel like we're gettin' close to the solution!"

"I am well aware that things are lookin' bad right now, but dammit, we're trying and I'm sure John's trying too!"

Jordan: (hesitantly) "Dan... as much as I hate to say it but..."

"Bernard's right."

(Ah, Jordan. Let's see where this goes.)

Jordan: "It does look terrible right now, but we do have to try. That's our job here; we have to keep going. For... for our sake and safety."

"...and John's."

"Bernie's right, he did tell us do what it takes. Even if it's this. We've put so many months and years into research John's condition. I'd like to see it through."

(Charles smiles beneath his mask. ) "Three to one. We continue on. Daniel, if you wish, you are free to leave if your dissent is that strong. I won't hold it against you."

Daniel: "No. I'll stay."

Charles: "Excellent. That said, Bernard is correct that it seems Johnathan has built up resistance against the smaller dosage; it is time to increase it. We will have the five minute threshold for any signs of reverting."

(Eyes, once again, fall on Daniel but none so much as Charles'. He knows he's won.)

(Daniel stares at the syringe, then at John. He feels nothing.)

// Next ⏭️

[runwayrunway]

Making a new year post while it's still technically old year in my timezone because I am, simply put, sleepy.

2023 has been a year. In terms of things that I have actually accomplished this year, Runway Runway is definitely the most significant, the one I'm proudest of, and the one I'm most excited to bring into 2024. I know that the new year is largely an arbitrary distinction (I literally have to go to work tomorrow morning like any other day) but I find it helpful to allow myself to buy into the idea of it being some sort of fresh start on the condition I don't fool myself into thinking it makes the last year go away. 2023 was a pretty bad year for me in a lot of ways, and for some reason it's always December specifically that doesn't let me catch a break, but the saving grace of it is that tomorrow it won't be December anymore.

Obviously, do not expect a post tomorrow. Probably not next week either because the fifth is my birthday and if I know myself I'll be making a sincere attempt to enjoy it by any means necessary. But my current estimate is that on Monday the 15th I'll be releasing a British Airways post, and from there I will probably continue with weekly Monday installments until I've caught my breath a bit and can increase the frequency. I have quite a few airlines I've been excited to review for probably months now, and I don't see myself getting less excited about any of them. And hopefully, now that I'm no longer going to be flattened by the experience of working winter holidays in a store which gets the majority of its revenue from people buying gifts for their family, I'll have a lot more time to look at pictures of airplanes.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has followed this blog, read my posts, liked them, reblogged them, replied to them, sent asks, requested airlines, submitted pictures, and in any way given me incentive to write a self-indulgent blog which makes me very happy. Happy new year, and I hope you'll stick around to see me get to 1% the age of Finnair.

The only extant airline turning 100 in 2024 is Tajik Air, by the way, so expect to see that one at some point.

[mysisypheannightmare]

Pause

Word Count: 1812

Warnings: Patton acting very unsympathetic (gaslighting mostly), some negative thinking

--

Logan had accomplished something great today.

He showed Thomas a new video-editing software that he determined should significantly improve his content output speeds and would also run adequately on his current computer equipment. Thomas learning about the new features gave Logan a much-desired confidence boost and he wanted to smile as Thomas quietly let out "ooh"s and "aww"s at the short preview video from the software's website.

He sat across from him at the table as Thomas closed his laptop, and he explained very simply that if Thomas held back on takeout for the week and refrained from buying anything from Redbubble (as tempting as it may be) until next month, he should have more than enough saved up to purchase and download the new software. He would have to learn the new system in order to use it properly, but Logan had assured him that he would read the instructions thoroughly and stick with Thomas throughout the process so he could have it learned in no time.

Thomas had enthusiastically agreed.

Logan marked a calendar, noting to skip fast food for the week and online purchases for the month, and then circled Thomas' pay date. That was when he could buy the software, right alongside with paying his bills.

Oh! And he reminded him, don't forget, he needed to do his taxes sooner rather than later, because the refund could come in handy!

Satisfied, Logan began to sink out, only to hear someone else pop in as he did so.

He thought nothing of it as he entered his room.

He recalibrated his calendar, having successfully convinced Thomas of a way to increase productivity.

He was glad all the research and reviewing for a new video software had actually paid off, considering he'd been desperate to find some kind of new task that would benefit Thomas. And with the new predicted increase in productivity, Thomas would soon have better availability for filming, spending time with his friends, and pursuing his hobbies on the side.

Sure, Virgil won't like the adjustment period for the new changes but Logan intended to promise him he'd make that transition as smooth as possible.

And yes, being frugal for the month will be rough, especially with Roman around, but he'd already prepared room in the budget for some slip-ups just in case.

And Patton will hopefully realize that Thomas can create his own comfort foods right at home, within his budget, and it wouldn't affect anything negatively at all.

Logan had covered all his bases, made sure everyone would be accommodated within reason, and Thomas could still benefit the most out of this decision.

Logan felt accomplished. Well, perhaps he could have set up a better worksheet that allocated and compared the reviews he'd read about new and available software… but he was still satisfied with the results he received!

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and he turned and walked over to it automatically.

The moment he opened the door, he was greeted by Patton's strained smile.

"Hey, Lo," he said, teeth gritted in a way that made Logan instantly uncomfortable. "Can I come in?"

In lieu of a response, Logan merely stepped aside, allowing Patton to stride on into the room and then turn around to face the other side as he shut the door gently.

He wasn't the most adept at reading others' emotions, but he could sense Patton wasn't happy at the very least. Something must have upset him.

"Is something the matter?" Logan asked, confused by Patton's behavior.

"What? No!" Patton's expression changed nearly four times, far too rapidly for Logan to interpret what any of them could be. "No, no, see, I was just...worried, about you! From the way it sounds lately, you seem to be working really hard, Logan!"

Logan wasn't sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not. The words sounded correct for one, but Patton's tone seemed bizarre. Logan frowned.

Emotions were quite difficult to understand.

Perhaps Patton was worried about his uptick in productivity?

"I assure you," Logan tried, "I have made no strain on myself. I only take on what I can handle, as we all should."

Patton's eyes had narrowed at him for a moment as they both stood in silence.

Perhaps he had misread Patton's intentions with his statement, after all.

"I'm no lie-detector, Logan, but I get the feeling that's not entirely true," Patton told him, a frown upon his face that seemed to mock him. He wasn't sure how it could do that, though.

"It is," Logan answered simply.

"Oh, really?" Patton tilted his head to the side. "Because I heard you decided to start up a new assignment of sorts."

Logan blinked. Patton seemed upset, but he wasn't sure why.

Sure, Logan had taken on researching new software and presenting the comparison results to Thomas, but it was of no concern to his allocated schedule and didn't take away from his other responsibilities.

He didn't understand why that would be upsetting. In what way could this be viewed negatively?

"I don't understand," Logan told him numbly. Was he… in trouble for something? Had he done something incorrectly and not realized it?

"Don't you?" Patton raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

So he had done something wrong.

Logan tried to think back, but he couldn't recall anything he had done recently that seemed to upset anyone. Was this really somehow about introducing Thomas to the new editing software? Why would anyone be upset about such a fruitful decision?

"I believe I may be failing to see the overall issue here, Patton," he remarked. If this was about the software, there was certainly no reason to behave like this. He could just tell Logan outright about his concerns.

Patton shook his head, still smiling in that uncomfortable way.

"That's the problem, Logan."

The room seemed colder then.

Logan tried again,

"If you would enlighten me as to what has upset you, we should be able to come to a solution. I'm sure once I understand your predicament, it'll be simple."

Reassurance often worked to cheer Patton up, after all. Perhaps this would help?

Patton laughed, but Logan hadn't made a joke. The sound reverberated a tiny bit through the room, and Patton looked him in the eye.

He wasn't smiling anymore.

"I don't need to do that for you, Logan. You're smart. Just think back and you'll figure it out."

"Then, what's the resolution here?" Logan asked, trying not to sound desperate. "What are you asking of me?"

The answer was not something he ever thought he'd hear.

"I think Thomas needs a little break from his logic for a while."

Logan had never experienced such hollowness as the kind that abruptly formed in his chest at those words.

"Wh--" he swallowed, his mouth absolutely dry. "What do you mean?"

Patton's smile returned then.

"I mean, you've been working so hard, and Thomas has, too!" He grasped his hands together in front of him. "It's about time you both had a break. I'm thinking maybe just a week or two, you know?"

Logan didn't know. He didn't understand. Thomas couldn't survive without logic, so what was Patton even suggesting?

And it wasn't like the work Logan was doing was in any way taxing or deserving of a break, especially considering how few tasks he even had left to do these days. He had been satisfied with just the chance to research something for once, and without anyone else's input.

So what was Patton even saying here? Did he not like Logan's decision?

It wasn't like he could control what Logan did or didn't do!

"I can make my own decisions, Patton," he chose to say. He tried to stay as calm as possible so Patton could tell he was serious.

Patton smiled at him again, sickeningly sweet.

"Yes, but you're not the only one making decisions, right?"

Ah. So Patton was upset because Logan hadn't consulted him and the others.

Logan tried not to sigh in disappointment. He'd been doing all the preparation for this suggestion so it would be easier on everyone and not turn into a pointless debate. It was meant to benefit everyone.

But, of course, Patton has to find some way to make it negative instead.

"I suppose I could have done some more consulting, yes," he conceded, folding his arms across his chest.

"We all make mistakes," Patton nodded, like they had only just gotten on the same page.

"That's why I want to ask you to take a break voluntarily. For your sake and for Thomas'!"

Logan blinked.

So it was Thomas who needed the break? But why hadn't Patton just said that, and why hadn't Thomas said anything?

Before he could even ask, Patton added,

"Look, I know Thomas doesn't trust you enough to tell you this kind of stuff, that's why he had me ask you instead. He needs a little vacation from his logic for a bit, okay?"

Logan grimaced. None of this made sense. Thomas had been so enthusiastic when he agreed to his plan for the new software. Patton had been the only one to say anything negative about it at all.

Had he completely misread everything? Had Thomas been placating him and he hadn't noticed?

Patton was always more in-tune with that sort of thing, so perhaps he was right about this.

"Are... you sure he doesn't want me around right now?" Logan had to ask, he had to know.

Patton's expression didn't change.

"You can still do your usual stuff from your room, right? Just do that for this week, and then we'll see where we're at, okay?"

Logan noted that he hadn't answered his question, but his suggestion implied what must have been the truth. Patton was known for trying to gloss over the negative side of things, after all. Maybe he was just trying to help…

Logan sighed.

He didn't want to agree but he didn't want to argue, either. If Thomas really didn't want his help, he should give him some space and find a more subtle way to offer his assistance.

"Okay."

Patton smiled.

"Perfect! Thank you so much," he told him, heading towards the door. "I'll take care of the rest and don't worry, I already switched the schedule back to normal."

Oh. Logan frowned. So all that effort has been for nothing, then.

Patton gave a little wave and exited, leaving Logan standing uncomfortably in the middle of his room.

He had put so much thought into that decision. Where had he gone so wrong?

And why hadn't Thomas just said what he felt? And why hadn't Patton, either?

He really needed to get better at this whole socializing thing.

He glanced around at the empty room. Well, at least he'd have the time for it.

[briar--rising]

Extensive non-graphic discussion of suicide (I'm fine, I'm not suicidal, don't worry). Also lots of maternal enmeshment talk

Therapy today was rough. I'm doing so much better in so many ways, but that doesn't mean the trauma is gone lol. I do so well in early spring, and then May and June comes and I can taste death in the air. I won't let it pull me under this year, I refuse to spiral into long-lasting psychosis and lose my progress until next February again. But it's still difficult.

My mother is. Fucked up. Obviously. But something that I realized in today's session was that her dream scenario is still the two of us committing suicide together in the end. And that's. Well. It feels bad.

A few weeks ago she brought up again how she wants to commit suicide when she gets very old/sick, or if the world goes to a very bad place. And the reason she insists on bringing this up with me is that she's very clear that it will be my responsibility to make sure she gets the assisted suicide she wants someday. Basically, asking me to kill her one day. And today was the anniversary of my uncle's suicide, and in about a month it will be the anniversary of my mom's suicide attempt when I was 11, and so it's all just...been on my mind. And we talked today in therapy about how the fact that my mom attempted suicide shortly before my birthday was especially damaging for me, and how basically being the one to find her that day but then not being allowed to see her for a while in the hospital once she woke up was deeply traumatic. And it's all just. Tangled together in my head.

I've known for years that I'll be in charge of making sure my mom gets the assisted suicide she wants, she's made that very clear to me. And I do not want that responsibility, but I just always knew/assumed it would be my job. And I was talking about that with my therapist today and she was like "I think it would be very dangerous for you to do that. You will always have a tendency towards psychosis, and there is already so much tangled up in you and your mother and annihilation and death and loss of self, and I do not think it will ever be safe for you to help her with that." And I realized she was right, but it literally hadn't occurred to me that I was allowed to not be the one to help with that? But like. I don't have to. A friend of hers can do it. My brother can do it. Someone, anyone who isn't me can help her find a doctor and get what she needs someday. I do not have to kill my mother. I do not have to kill myself.

Because I know in her dream scenario we'd do it together, and/or my doing it for her would push me to do it to myself. First of all, she's literally suggested it before. Second of all, she cannot cope with or even begin to comprehend the fact that I am separate from her and that I would dare to live without her. We were talking today about how my mom's relationship feels almost parasitic, like she's drawing on me to sustain herself, and how I was worried that by cutting her off and having increasing boundaries I was hurting her by taking away her access to her life force. And my therapist was like, "No, because those boundaries are real for you, but not for her. Consciously she sort of accepts them, but in her mind you are still completely enmeshed. What do you think would happen if you asked to move back in with her?" And I was like, "She'd be thrilled, she'd start working towards it immediately." And she was like, "Exactly. If she was developing the type of boundaries you are, she would have reservations about her adult child moving back in. But she doesn't have any of those boundaries, and still believes and feels you to be as close as you were, so you're not hurting her by having those boundaries internally, because she will never be able to share them or even truly understand that you have them." So that was helpful, if disturbing in its own way. Bc it also made me realize how deeply enmeshed we still are on her end, and how clear it is from that and from several things she's said over the years including quite recently that she wants us to kill ourselves together someday.

But I won't. I refuse. When she wants to die she can find someone else to help her manage it, and I will not be joining her. I will not let her annihilate me in life or death.

[micalpixel]

May Flowers Game - September 2024 Progress Report

Another month comes and goes, so here's another update on my May game.

Lore and Plot

So... I don't have anything visual to display this month, sadly. I kinda spent an entire month working on lore and plot. :D I keep looking at the layers the game has so far. Characters, sidequests, themes... And little by little, I keep finding new ways to connect them. May's afraid of heights. But why? Well, there's now a reason. And it links to something else that until now, was completely unrelated. Plot holes get filled in, rough edges are ironed out. I'm happy with how things are progressing. I feel as though all of the biggest, most important pieces, are now in place.

One reason this has been taking a while is... well...

When I worked on the puzzle mechanics, I cut out a lot of ideas. Because it was too much for a first game. I wanted an upper limit on the insanity. So, some neat ideas were shelved. Even though they very closely complemented the ideas I WAS going to use.

And when working on the plot, there were also some ideas which, in my opinion, are really cool. But completely clash with what I'm doing for this game.

But I still kept thinking about those things. And kept having new ideas for them, and developing them. Writing down ideas as they game. Seeing ways they connected to the ones I WAS going to use.

Long story short, I realized two months ago that there's enough ideas here for three sequential games involving May. And I've been working with that target in mind. Three games that each tell very different stories, but are still connected, each with very different goals, and each telling a larger story about May and the people she meets.

It's kinda embarrassing, and reeks of arrogance. Planning three games before I've even finished one game. But I'm just too excited to do otherwise. The idea's been planted. And in fact, it won't require very many changes to the first game at all, other than leaving a few (seemingly unimportant) loose ends to resolve later. (No cliffhangers, I swear!) So I figure, why not?

And actually, the beginning and ends of all three are already set in stone. I know how each one will start, what each one's tutorial "level" will be, and how each one will end. The most important parts of the plot are, well, done. And now it's just the filler that remains. The minor characters, the sidequests, etc. Everything after the first hour of each game and before the last hour. Which, by comparison, should be a lot more flexible since they're not as important to the overall plot. I feel like this is very doable. My main focus will 100% be on the first game though. I will not be doing ANY work on the next two other than lore and plot, since those could impact the first game in small ways.

Graphics

I've been mulling over the game's graphics style. Although I love the very-limited-color palette look, I also wonder if the game would be more enjoyable and colorful if I let myself use a bit more color. Keep the same character sizes, but try to make the colors pop. I've seen some games use an art style like that, and I do wonder if it would be better to go that route.

I had intended to participate in Drawtober 2024, to experiment with different pixel art styles, every day, trying out different things, using my own 31 prompts.

But work has been much more stressful than usual this month. I feel very tired. I'd wanted to get other drawings done before October, and wasn't able to do that. So, I don't know. I really do want to experiment with that though. Maybe once these other WIP art pieces are done, I'll get to that. A late Drawtober, maybe. We'll see....

Closing

Thanks for reading! Sorry it's not a very exciting update. I do still work on this game a little very day. After four months, my excitement for this game has only increased, and I'm very happy about that.

[rosewriteroyal]

Rebellion

Part 1: The mysterious Girl

Dann x Fem Reader Apocalypse AU

Warnings: Blood/Gore, Swearing

Synopsis: Its been 5 years since the Virus broke out and K.D took controling the investigation into the cure. The land was a desert, nature has taken over, the safe houses now the only havens around and they are hard to gain residence two. On a mini run, Dann, Louis and Mujin bump into a mysterious girl in a mall, blood running down her arm

They thought they found the cure, the cure to a mysterious disease that's source was never found. Governments all come together to wonder how to solve the issue, but it was too late

This disease was a zombie virus, incurable. Slowly, the reports increased, counting every walker that appeared, country populations being whipped out in seconds.

It had been 5 years since the outbreak. The organisation K.D was formed, they tried everything to make a cure, worked with governments, their option was to drop bombs on large areas of infected, this just killed and destroyed cities and populations of non infected. So they moved to science, trying to find any way humans can be immune to the disease at hand.

CRACK! The rubble and debris of the old mall sounded under the heavy boots of someone. It was silent, very silent, unlike what it would have been 5 years ago before the virus. Kids, teens, and adults would be talking and screaming, the sounds of radio playing the new hit song would be blurring from the speakers, now it's decimated, left to nature.

"Be careful!” A voice sounded behind

"I will” another voice replied, the leader Dann. He had taken 3 of his group on a scavenge to find supplies, not knowing how long it would be until they found another mall or shop around.

"I wonder if there's any walkers in here. I'd hate that” another voice said, hiding behind the broader one. Mujin and Louis, they grew up together, attached at the hip. Where one goes the other goes, Louis volunteered to join Dann on this adventure, Mujin went because of that. A lot of people wonder how the guy has survived just being a leech of Louis.

They slowly walked deeper into the mall, the ropes and wires from the once working lights, ends, and exposed copper wire hung dangerously towards the ground. They spotted an old pharmacy, this is what they needed. They had joined a safe house a few months ago, and one of the children has fallen ill, luckily not by the disease but by a cold that has turned to pneumonia.

"Right, let's see if we can find any medicine and also food and water” Dann whispered as he walked through the old entrance and up towards the old medicine isle, while Louis and Mujin walked towards the little shop situated next door, finding anything food and water since the next large outing won't be until a couple weeks later.

Any noise would echo the halls and that's when they heard the sound of foots steps, running, ever step louder than the first, it was human for sure as walkers are slow, they hobble towards you in packs but this was a single person. Drawing his gun, Dann stopped packing his bag with medicine and creeper to the entrance, gun loaded and ready to shoot. As soon as the footsteps got closer, he pointed the gun out…

He stopped. It was a girl around his age. She panted as she held her arm, wincing a few times. She looked up at the Dann

"Sorry if I scared you. May the entire group is dead because of some walkers, Im lucky, I guess” Chuckling to herself as she tried to slow her breathing, Dann looked at her arm, worried at the condition. Not everyone had water, clean water to disinfect wounds

"Your arm, let me look” Dann said softly, and the girl backed away

"I wouldn't” the girl said

"Why. Where you bitten” Dann said, sliding the gun out his pocket again

"...” The girl looked down, Dann took it as a yes and pointed the gun back to her, right in the middle of her forehead

"When did it happen” Dann asked. He didn't want to kill her, but after watching his mother and brother turn, he knew it was for the best

"This one was recently, maybe about a couple of minutes ago. My first one was 5 years ago and see still kicking around” Dann eyes widened. She had been bitten not once but twice and hasn't changed

"What are you? No one is immune. That's what K.D. said” The girl looked up

"I don't know what's wrong, i think I'm immune…My name is Y/N, by the way” She smiled at him, and Dann pulled the gun down

"I'm Dann. Let me bandage that bite up and clean it. I'll take you back to the safe house and we can talk more there” He stepped closer and grabbed her non bleeding arm dragging her towards the medicine isle he was just in, he saw Mujin and Louis waiting

"Who’s that? Your secret Girlfriend, ah man I knew you could do it” Louis hatred his back “I'm Louis, this us my partner in crime as we call it Mujin” He smiled and looked down eyes widening on fear “SHE'S BEEN BITTEN”

"Guys, guys. It's okay, she might be immune” Dann said, and Mujin looked puzzled

"Immune, but that's not possible” he said, digging in his bag for bandages and handing them to Dann as he sat Y/N on a chair, cleaning and dressing the bite

"So what we going to do with her” Mujin asked

"Take her back to the safe house, have Ivan fully dress the wound and try and figure out how the fucking hell she's immune and why K.D lied all these years” Dann explained as he helped Y/N stand up, picking up his bag with the medicine and handing some to Y/N “Painkillers”

"Thank you Dann” Y/N took two of the pills and swallowed them, following the three strangers out the mall into the sunlight

"So, how you end up in the mall” Louis asked as he struck up a conversation for the long walk ahead

"I was with my group. There were 5 of us, all friends and my sister. We were looking for supplies to last us a couple days, when we were attacked by the Walkers, i only survived with a bite and a few scratches” Y/N smiled a bit thinking back to the group, all of the girls where like sisters, it's was said but they had good times.

"We never got your name” Mujin said

"Y/N”

"That’s really pretty” Louis commented and Y/N smiled.

It was a long journey back to the safe house but a safe one, it would be about a day to walk but they area was cleared so no Walkers would be able to attack unless they broke through the fencing, the tall buildings, the green ivy and other weeds it was pretty, something out of a apocalypse film but sadly it was reality, the world was truly gone and only a few people left, the end of humanity who knew it would be pretty.

[timeoverload]

This week is going to be terrible and boring. I still don't feel great. I went to work this morning to get a covid test. My temperature was 99.9° so they couldn't send me home for that since it has to be 100° or higher. I had to wait 30 minutes for them to read my test. I didn't expect to have a positive test so I was planning on working anyway. The nurse called me to tell me I was positive and that I needed to leave. This is the second time I have gotten covid that I am aware of.

Normally I would be happy about having unexpected time off, but this is like the worst timing. I can't return to work until Tuesday. I won't have any PTO left. I don't think I even have enough to cover this week so I won't be getting paid for part of it. I already know that I probably will have to cancel my request for next Thursday. My boss already approved it so I don't know what is going to happen. I am not sure about the 26th yet. I hope I don't get written up. It shouldn't be so stressful to be sick.

I have to go next Friday even if I am tired. I will have Monday off too so I think that will help me to not feel so shitty at the end of the week. I might not get another chance to see you for a while if I don't go to see you next Friday. I'm not going to cancel my appointment for the 26th since it is still a month away. I don't want to upset you so I really hope things work out.

I don't feel quite as bad as I did yesterday. I think the headache and the body aches are the worst part. My eye sockets hurt. I'm not sure how to explain it. I had a feeling that I had covid yesterday because my bones felt like they were being crushed and that's how I felt last time. Food tastes weird. Hopefully my fever doesn't increase. I still don't know where my thermometer is. I'm glad I'm not having a lot of respiratory issues. I have a cough but it isn't that bad. I'm not having any issues breathing. My throat is a little scratchy but it could be worse. I definitely sound sick but I'm not congested.

Since I am being forced to stay home for a while, I should be able to build up the strength to get some cleaning done. It's hard to feel relaxed in here. I would like to be able to find things. I just need to fill up some more boxes to get stuff out of the way. I haven't accomplished much lately so it will be nice to be productive.

I'm not sure what I will do the rest of the day because I am sore. I think I will need to go back to bed at some point. I was trying to find something new to watch but nothing is exciting me. It's so frustrating. I haven't been in the mood to watch anything other than documentaries for a while. There aren't any movies that I want to watch. People will give me suggestions and then I forget them and brain dump them right away. I would like to read a book or something. Every time I try to start reading again, I get bored with it pretty quickly. I used to read so much when I was in high school and I really enjoyed it. I want to make art, but I don't know what kind of art I want to make. I don't know where to start. I don't know what my problem is.

I guess I should try to rest now. I wish I had someone to keep me company because this is depressing. I guess I will cuddle with the cats. I hope I can make it a good week somehow.

I hope that everyone else has a good week and that you all stay healthy. :) 💖💖💖

[littlegreenplumbob]

welcome to littlegreenplumbob's saved games :

as you're about to see, my saved games vary few and far between. i used to start a new game every single time i wanted to play the sims - but now i have a good amount of key saves that i like to go back and visit and update every now and then :) you'll also see i am extremely picky with which games i play more than others oops

DISCOVERY SAVE:

as the name suggests, this is my save file put in place in order for me to have full creative exploration of any dlc. i've mainly used this to play test things like the interactive careers and most recently, making rental residentials. i'm also currently exploring the idea of a BIG family, with 7 sims and 2 pets.

NSB:

you've heard of it, you know it, you love it - the not so berry challenge is my most frequently visited save file. i've got some updates incoming for the berri-behrs, is this save file photo a sneak peak? it most definatly is bc with my work ethic you won't get an update post until next year.

POSTCARD LEGACY:

another legacy challenge! i've barely even touched this in comparison to nsb, mainly as my ultimate sims goal is to complete the nsb challenge so my postcard legacy has i think maybe 3 sims days played? anyways, once im done w nsb i think i'll switch over to a postcard legacy. this save is more of a exploring one to familiarise myself with the rules and such.

CHEFFIN':

when home chef hustle came out i was obsessed with the idea of a home cook and thats exactly what this save file is. my sim is a home chef, trying to increase her skill, while learning gardening and caring after her 2 puppies, burger and barbie (que). at the same time, she also attends university. this is just a little cute save, dare i say quite relaxing at times?

SAVE FILE:

i've always wanted to make a completely revamped save file of all townies and all lots, and this is my attempt! it's something of a mammoth challenge to me and one that i can get extremely mind numb of in minutes but im still desperate to do it. it's another one of my major sims goals that i've had since i started playing a decade ago.

100 BABY WITH TOWNIES:

just like the name suggests. i've never shown loads of interest in the 100 baby challenge through the years, it's definitely something my younger self would do. (although i do stalk simstas and simblrs of it because you lot amaze me that you can stick to it) despite that it is pretty cool and some little part of me at least wants to give it a go, hence why just the one baby for now (bob pancakes' offspring may i add)

LEGACY CHALLENGE:

awww my little cute legacy challenge! which i haven't playing in a whopping 8 months mostly completely due to the fact that with a lot of the sims in that save have that glitched acne thing as adults and my eyelashes are glitchy. and idk, that just puts me off playing. but who knows, maybe in 4 months i'll open it back up again?

[invisibleraven]

things you said at the kitchen table for Rulie, please

Dinners were never a quiet affair in the Molina household. Ray used it as a time to catch up with his kids, ask about their days, tell them about his. Yes there was still an empty space at the table for Rose, and it hurt every time to look across and not see her smiling at him, but it didn't ache quite so badly as time went on.

Then Julie starting bring the guys from her band home for dinner. None of them had great home lives, so Ray was more than happy to provide them with a decent meal, even if it was just his spaghetti, and a caring adult. They didn't come every night, but they were there often enough Ray was forced to increase his grocery budget and the number of recipes he knew.

But the guys, and more importantly, Julie, appreciated it, and that was more than enough for him.

However, it did not escape Ray's notice that Reggie stayed over more than Luke or Alex did. Nor did he fail to see the lovesick expression on the boy's face whenever he looked at Julie when she wasn't looking. Or the mirror of it on hers.

Ray remembered those first days fondly. The do they like me like that agony and the getting together that made the pining all the sweeter. He and Rose had danced around each other for a bit before he finally asked her out, and she had given him a fond 'finally' before kissing him in agreement.

Reggie was a good guy, and he would treat Julie well, of that he had no doubt. But Ray also was getting tired of them not making a move after months of hearing Julie's lovesick playlists and snippets of Reggie's pining country songs.

So he decided to give them a little nudge.

"So how's school?" he asked one night when it was just them and Carlos sitting down to eat.

Julie launched into a tale of her awful math teacher, and how much she hated calculus, with Reggie interjecting about how he could help her, since he was doing a more advanced math course this year.

"Thanks Reg, I'd really appreciate that," Julie replied, a soft blush painting her cheeks.

"Of course Julie, anything for you."

Ray bit the inside of his cheek, because come on, how obvious could you get? "Any gigs coming up?"

"We have a few next month," Reggie enthused. "Plus Principal Lessa asked us to play at Prom."

"Well that's exciting," Ray commented. He had been hearing about prom for weeks now, had taken Julie and Flynn dress shopping not too long ago, and he knew the guys had gone on their own suit shopping adventure as well.

"Luke isn't too jazzed, but we had a band vote and it was three to one," Julie said.

"Pity that means you won't get to dance at your own prom though," Ray replied.

"Oh no, Flynn is gonna DJ between our sets, so we all get a chance to dance," Reggie said. "And I think Dirty Candi are gonna play some songs too, so it'll be really cool."

"So who are you going with Reggie?" Ray asked, totally not looking at Julie who was giving him a wide eyed look of panic.

"Oh um... I haven't asked anyone yet. Might just go stag," Reggie said with a shrug. He was also avoiding looking at Julie, and Ray could see the tips of his ears turning pink.

"Any news on your date mija?" Ray asked.

"I might just third wheel Flynn and Carrie. No one has asked me," Julie replied, her eyes firmly on Reggie, but it seemed the boy wasn't getting the hint.

"Your mother and I didn't meet until college, but there was a dance for some society or another one night. Almost like a prom, and she asked me," Ray recalled. "We had a lovely time."

With that, he got up from the table, leaving the two of them there, blushing and finally catching each other's eyes. As tempted as he was, Ray didn't eavesdrop, instead busying himself in his office with work.

He saw Reggie leave, staggering down the walkway towards his bike, a iridescent smile on his face. And Julie in the doorway, her lipgloss a little smeared, and an equally blissful look on her face.

"Reggie's taking me to prom," she said with a sigh.

"As a friend?" Ray asked with a knowing smirk.

"Nope," she replied, popping the p.

"Well it's about time," he said. "I'm happy for you mija."

"Thanks papi," she said. "Good night!"

Ray wished her the same, and smiled to himself when he heard music drift down the stairs-and it was decidedly more happy than her last playlist, so he'd count that as a win.

And on prom night he got a shot of them sitting to the kitchen table, in all their finery, rubbing noses over a stage plate of spaghetti, looking happier than Ray had ever seen them.

And figured he had better just start setting a place for Reggie at the table from then on.