#so I went down a rabbit hole and found an oldie I used to like but never gotten around to find the title of

[a-very-fond-farewell]

:O

[blindrapture]

SUNDAY JUNE 26TH, 2011 ("Fears. There's the rub.")

[This is another one where the formatting on tumblr just won't work right. I recommend the Website version for the ideal read.]

10:30 AM In case you’re wondering, that last bit wasn’t, like, some demon sneaking in and writing “Rapture is coming” into my journal while I was asleep. No. I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what Rogers had said. So I just.. wrote it down and thought. I haven’t been talking much lately. I’m just.. I dunno. Lost in thought.

11:02 AM - Rabbit holes are key to Rapture - Rabbit holes are growing (according to Harlequin) - All this was started by…? (“Doctor Cloud?”) - This is not Rapture. Rapture is coming. I’ve done some thinking. And I’ve deduced that oh my god I need more information. I need to learn more about the things. The monsters.

Except they’re not monsters, are they? That’s what Mist the Harlequin told me. She called herself a “goddess.” Or something. But is that true? Is that false? I really don’t know. I have no way of knowing. Rogers said something about fears. Do gods have fears? I need to look into this more.

11:11 AM I wish I could get some answers. I’m gonna ask the generic family about things. About Rogers.

11:20 AM Alright, they don’t mind me writing this stuff down as we talk. “Rogers was a very good child. The doctors told us he was” mumble “we still don’t believe that. He’s just… a savant.” They might be right about that. He certainly knew a lot more about what’s going on than anyone I’d met. “We, I.. we don’t know who would want to kill him. He had no enemies, nothing to hide.” Meredith is crying. “On the way down here, Rogers was” interrupted, that was Bill, Richard doesn’t want him talking about that. Noted. “Can you not ask about Rogers, please?”

I asked about the Exodus. About America. “We heard about the Exodus when we were nearing London a few weeks ago. London was quite.. impossible for us to enter. So we turned back and found some flyers about the Exodus and Liverpool, and.. here we are. “We don’t have any real reason for going to America besides survival. England is theirs now. Staying for much longer would be stupid.” I asked about “them.” “Rogers knew a lot ab” Bill was interrupted again. Richard “Rogers called them.. there was this phrase he used a lot. Some old English word.. and then ‘abomination.’ So we just call them abominations.” ..Eldritch? When I said that, Bill’s face lit up. Hit the nail on the head, I suppose. “Whatever they are, they’re abominations, they are not of this world, not of God. They shouldn’t be here. But they are.”

I asked about the rabbit holes. “Portals to Hell, I say. I don’t care for them; we try our best to avoid them at all costs. Y’know the first one I went in took me to a world of nothing but toilets? It was this big city, industrial, completely normal. Except every time you thought you’d see a human, there was a toilet, instead. Not of this world! Ridiculous.” They have to get going somewhere soon. My last question: Camper Festival. “I’ve heard of that. I’ve heard the name, not much about it. But it’s really good. I hear it’s the best thing to come out of this apocalypse, lots of the oldies, the kind of music they don't make anymore. Listen, we’ve really got to get going.”

12:39 PM I’m looking around town. Donnie didn’t want to come. She said she’s feeling a little under the weather. I’ll make sure to look for medicine of some sort.

1:16 PM I couldn’t find anything. Returned to the inn. Wednesday can’t come any faster.

1:30 PM The innkeeper’s calling another headcount meeting.

2:00 PM Innkeeper says we’re all here, except for the deceased from yesterday. She gave her usual precautions, and said we’re having a five o’ clock curfew this time. Some people argued that the Massacrer will just kill people before then; curfews don’t matter to psychos. The innkeeper stood her ground.

2:34 PM Donnie’s really got a bad cold. She has a nasty headache and can’t stop coughing and sneezing. And I have no idea where any medicine is.

3:07 PM Taking another look in town. There’s gotta be something.

4:10 PM Noth … ..okay. It was that same old woman again. She was standing in the inn hallway. Now she’s gone. o_o; ..anyway, I found nothing. It’s nearly curfew.

5:49 PM Donnie doesn’t want me hugging her. She doesn’t want me catching whatever it is she has. Jordan is a sad spidercat now. ._.

7:24 PM I’m wondering a lot of things. What kind of cold might Donnie have? I mean, chances are it’s just a normal flu, but.. considering all these foreign creatures leaking who knows what into the atmosphere… I’m gonna try not to think about that. >_<

8:52 PM SCREAM WHERE

8:53 PM All the people are coming out of their rooms. Who screamed?

8:54 PM Innkeeper’s doing her headcount.

8:56 PM A lady from down the hall is dead. Her head was cut off entirely. Cleanly, too. I get the feeling it was our Masky. But that may be stating the obvious.

10:02 PM We were all questioned. I was here with Donnie; Donnie attested to it and I have this journal here, too. So every night, someone dies. But we’re getting out of here, and there’s gotta be somewhere around thirty of us. I think we’ll be fine. Either way, I’m getting some goddamn sleep.

(Attached: “Ah. Fears. There’s the rub. And the perfect jumping-off point for me to share another anecdote that this brings to mind. I mentioned some logs back that I had done some time in Aegyptus. Well, when I first arrived, date something like 90 CE, I knew nothing of the local languages so I feigned myself a mute and took residence in Memphis.

I hid in an abandoned store for a few weeks, stealing food and learning bits and pieces of dialogue from observing the locals. My clothes, I found lying on the street. Probably stole them too. I didn’t know how long I intended on staying, only that I refused to leave that time period, not when I knew at that point what I had just discovered– but that’s a story that requires far more context and so will have to wait awhile.

Before I knew it, I was standing before the the Great Temple of Ptah, listening to two people nearby speaking in English.

---Amazing what they do for us.

--- Pfft, yeah. All this effort. We don’t even care.

--- It’s not like we can just tell them we don’t want it.

--- Well, yeah, they’ll likely fight another war or something.

I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from until

I looked up and saw two people standing atop the front gates. Having no way to get up there, I called up to them, asking if I could speak.

Within a second, one of them suddenly appeared in front of me, the other one still climbing down. The one who had teleported bore the head of a jackal as a mask, the one climbing down wore bright white clothes with a long black beard.

The jackal-faced man asked me what I wished to discuss, throwing in a ‘mortal’ for good measure.

-- Ah, so you’re Fears, I said with much relief. This, however, only offended him.

--- What? ’Fears?’ Is that what they’re calling us now? Hey, Osiris! They’re calling us 'Fears’ now! Osiris, out of breath by the time he got to the ground, wiped sweat from his forehead and rolled his eyes.

--- Cute, but I wish they’d stick with 'god.’ I’m getting tired of all these epithets, and why do people insist on calling me a 'Lord?’ I decided to clarify.

--No, nobody’s calling you that yet. I, uh. I’m not from around here. I actually just wanted to know why you guys are speaking in English.

The two gods looked at each other in confusion. Osiris said, --- We’re not, foreign one. We speak in the ancient tongue known only to us gods. Your puny ears interpret it as whatever you’re used to.

Jackal guy added, --- But what is 'English?’ That doesn’t sound like the name of any language I’ve heard of.

-- Never mind, you answered my question, we’re good.

I didn’t want to say I was from the future; that struck me as kind of a no-no with time traveling.

--- Say, you’re a god too, aren’t you? The jackal guy asked, sounding enthusiastic.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching. No one in sight.

--..yeah. I’m Thoth.

The two of them gave a look as if they knew my secret.

--- You look awfully young today, Thoth, said Osiris. Last I saw you, you were on death’s door.

I just lowered my eyes. He laughed.

--- Unless you’re gifted with the ability to traverse time itself or something?

The two of them laughed at this until they saw my expression. Jackal-face asked if I really could. I quietly nodded. They looked at each other with awe then proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions, to which I replied by asking if we could go somewhere more private.

Before I knew it, we had been teleported to some glade within a forest who knows where. Awaiting us was a woman in a single large green garment. I was formally introduced to the whole lot: Jackal-face was known by many names including Anubis and Hades, Osiris also had the name Dis Pater, and the woman called herself Aura.

Anubis told Aura of my abilities, and I clarified that it’s not so much an ability as more of.. a possibility.

-- And I certainly can’t choose where or when I go. I go where the Empty City takes me, I guess.

Then I realized it wasn’t called that yet and the others assumed I was being poetic.

-- So what do you guys have powers over?

--- I see to every soul in the afterlife, every being that has passed away comes under my rule, declared Osiris.

--- I control the gales and the airs that come with it, followed Aura.

--- I judge people, added Anubis.

--- He and I, Osiris clarified, work in tandem. He’s the groundskeeper for the afterlife, to wax words. He is responsible for making sure none of my undead might have too much power.

-- As for me, I.. wander throughout space and time, writing and observing. I take it you guys have encountered me before?

Aura smiled and pointed at my book. --- Many times. You would never explain why your appearance altered, but you would always have that same tome.

-- Did I ever show any powers?

--- Not often. Sometimes, you could snap your fingers and take a human’s memories away, she said.

--- Oh, shouted Anubis, and you seem able to communicate with Olympus itself!

-- Olympus?

--- It’s one of the great mysteries of our kind. A sprawling jungle of houses built with materials no human has ever aspired to. It accompanied us on our journey from the stars, though we know not its ontology.

Sounded like the Empty City to me. I thought for a bit about what else to ask.

-- ..is there a god in this time by the name of Ptah?

Osiris recognized the name as belonging to the one he called Hephaestus, and then he and Anubis left to go and get him, leaving Aura and I alone to question each other.

--- Are there still gods in your time?

-- Uh-huh. You change quite a bit, though. I’m still trying to figure out who Anubis is in the future.

--- Of course we change, for many of us embody the nature of change itself. We have powers unrivaled by any beasts of the cosmos; such powers as us cannot stay stagnant.

-- Tell that to humans in power.

--- Ah, but we aren’t humans, dearest.

-- Many of us were, I’d imagine.

She looked at me funny. That’s when Anubis ran in, requesting that we come with him. Ah, but unfortunately even to proceed with this anecdote would require much context. So I’ll have to leave this note at the conversation above and urge the reading return to Jordan’s journals.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[fangirlintheattic]

Yo what are some of your fave kissin couples? I just went down a lintz rabbit hole and i was like DAMN. They sure knew how to kiss! Or rather, what are some of your all-time fave kisses?

Daaaaaang, what an ask. Clearly there’s no short answer to that on tumblr so here we go.

Lintz was great! Still one of my all time favorite couples and storylines. I wouldn’t actually list them in favorite kissing scenes though (if we’re judging by lip action alone?)

So if we’re judging based on the kissing itself and not the characters and build up or whatever (cause lets be real, some of the best ships do NOT kiss well and that’s fine we still love them) I’m just a basic lesbian who loves some good committed face mushing. Nothing looks worse (and feels worse, like why are they even doing that) than duck lips doing all the work to perfectly still heads and bodies. Just... stop. 

But the best kissing of all time goes to Petra and JR, hands down. Like, wow. Any time they come up on my dash I’m just like... woah. How are they real. How did that happen.

Other favorites that I can think of right now... (I started putting gifs of all these, but honestly it started feeling a little too nsfw so I’m just gonna let you use your imagination, cause we all know we have them all memorized)

Jamie and Dani in Bly Manor, obviously. Every single one. But the one in the hallway is my personal fave.

Emily and Sue in Dickinson. Their lips are just straight up compatible. They’re gorgeous.

Tallie and Abigail in The World The Come. The first kiss was incredible and raw and totally delivered after all that build up.

Mia and Frida in Kyss Mig. Their chemistry was wild. Mia just walking into Frida’s space was hot.

Jenny and Emma in Hand aufs Herz. An oldie :) They just really melded their bodies and didn’t show any signs of hesitation or awkwardness, so I always found their scenes very... relaxing? Like they just look so happy and comfortable.

Pepa and Silvia in Los Hombres de Paco. My all time favorite ship from way back when. They were so intimate and playful and had beautiful timing. Pepa was such a stud.

Also who didn’t die watching the Juliantina makeout in the car

Oh! and Lorena and Flor from The Hockey Girls! I didn’t watch the show, just their scenes and there’s not that many, but wow they were beautiful. There’s hardly any gifs of them but I recommend looking their scenes up. 

I realize these are all mostly ‘older’ characters? But I think that’s just because younger ones don’t get as intimate of scenes or they’re still just a little too awkward. This list would be different if it was about build up or storylines.

Good memories

[forallyourikemensengokuneeds]

Down a rabbit hole

Another oldie but goodie....

I still have plenty of prompts to do but a slight issue arose and they will be started soon.

She happily walked around in the garden looked for the perfect arrangement for the hallway. She started for one particular flower and just before she had grabbed it she was yanked back. "Do you even know that flower will sting you?", a harsh voice behind her said.

"Oh really? Well thank you for saving me that pain.", She readily said. She was still learning in this new world.

"Yes really and.... well.... it wasn't a kindness. I just didn't want to deal with you later.",Ieyasu replied, but she noticed his face had slightly colored and he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Well whatever it was, thank you.", She smiled at him and walked away before he could reply. She smiled to herself and the bunches of flowers she already had. She was moving on to the next task at hand as there was always something to do. She had made the bundles, and the maids had gone to the vases and replaced the wilting flowers with the newer ones. Instead of just throwing the wilting bunches off into the yard she began hanging them in a small workroom to make dried bouquets. It was only one of those things she did on her own that no one ever cared about, much like her boss who ruled the castle and the town below no one really cared for her presence, it had already been deemed not necessary, her boss believed she was lucky and so he decided on a whim to keep her around. She adjusted her life to castle life and tried to make herself useful.

Useful in this time was relatively easy. She kept busy and out of everyone's way. Though she was lonely at times, she was never alone. The floors had been done faster then everyone thought so she was left with nothing to do in the afternoon. She decided to go for a walk through the unused gate from the garden. She had seen it before but had never gone exploring. No one would miss her for a few hours, so she headed off on her own.

Where was she? He thought to himself as he had gone looking for her. No one knew where that troublesome woman had gone. He had searched the castle now twice and couldn't find her. He had even stumbled on her hiding place with a room full of dried flowers. It was like her to save something like that. He mentally shook his head. He had needed an extra pair of hands two hours ago now it was too late to finish the task he wanted her for; however that wasn't why he was aggravated. He didn't realize that of course at the time. He went out into the garden one last time and saw she wasn't there but the garden gate was open. He began to panic when he saw that slightly. That area wasn't all that safe; it had huge holes that could damage your legs if you didn't pay attention, he thought she is so absent-minded of course she would fall through one of those holes. Instead of running back to get more help he squared his shoulders and left toward the area. He didn't know what he would find and didn't care as long as she was okay. Fine would remain a relative term.

She sat on the ground after she had got caught in what seemed to be a rabbit hole. She managed to pry her leg out, and though it wasn't broken, she probably did sprain her ankle. It hurt, and she really didn't want to try to walk on it but how would she get back. Instead of doing anything she just laid back and looked at the golden sky. She must have been there for a little while watching the clouds roll by still as the sun set slowly. She heard someone walking pretty fast up the hill towards her. She didn't move.

He saw her on the hill laid out. His heart stopped when he realized she wasn't moving. He started thinking about all the reasons why or how she could have really hurt herself. He almost wished he hadn't saved her from the stinging flower, at least then she would have been with him the whole time. He slowly made his way up the hill only to find her with her eyes open and staring off into the sky. Was she fine? Oh, now he was mad! She had scared him, and he didn't know why he was so insane. He should be glad. She looked his way and smiled softly, and all his anger disappeared instantly, how did she do that? He wondered. "I hurt my ankle when I tripped in a rabbit hole.", she laughed at herself.

"Let me see it.", he said trying to remain to his prickly self.

"I just sprained it.", She said as she moved her foot over. It was swelling badly, but as he touched it, he couldn't feel any breaks.

"It looks nasty.", he said relieved it wasn't broken.

"Thanks. Can you lend me your arm so I can hobble back?", She asked, and he looked at her like she grew another head. He bent down and scooped her up and settled her in his arms. He turned and started back toward the castle. She blinked at him. "What are you looking at?", he asked.

"I wasn't; I didn't expect you to carry me!", She stuttered out. She could feel the heat coming off him in the night air.

"Well, I would rather carry you then go slowly watching you struggle.", He replied. He continued carefully through the area and back into the castle. He carried her straight to her room which he deposited her on her futon and without a backward look he left. Surprised by her response, she missed his heat and the look in his eyes right before he plopped her down. She wished she could figure him out, maybe one day. Her maid came in and helped her change, and she laid down and dealt with the throbbing in her ankle. She tossed and turned and found no relief. Her door opened slowly, and she stared at it. Ieyasu was back with a tray of things. He placed the tray next to her on the floor. She was looking at him curiously now as he hadn't said a word since coming in. He propped her up with another pillow again without a word. He handed her a cup that was warm. "Drink this," was all he said. He lifted the cover over her foot as he moved the tray closer to him. He began rubbing a salve on her skin which made it tingle. A quick giggle slipped through as she watched him. It tickled.

Her small giggle nearly did him in. He didn't understand his overwhelming need to help her tonight. He made the salve to help with the swelling and the bruises that will come. He wondered if there were any anywhere else. He let that slide for a minute and continued to rub the salve deep into her skin. He needed to feel her right now he didn't quite understand why. A deep burning in his chest that he had never felt before. It wasn't something that was new it was a normal feeling now around her. Only around her. He was starting to understand.

"I told you to drink.", He said his voice huskier than usual. She tilted her head as she looked at him and took a sip. She finished the cup before he had finished rubbing her ankle. He began to wrap it with a clean linen it was a little tight but not to tight. She smiled as he finished.

He looked at her face and her slightly dazed eyes. The tea for pain was working. She might be able to sleep now; lord only knows how he will. The tea had almost the same effect as being drunk but not quite. He lifted her foot and placed it on a pillow."You need to keep it elevated.", He said softly," and stay off of it. I will be back tomorrow to check it."

"Do you have to go?", she asked softly almost sure she would regret asking.

"You want me to stay?", he was surprised by her words and wondered if the tea was too strong for her.

"Yes. I was lonely earlier that's why I went for the disaster of a walk.", She again said softly. He absentmindedly started rubbing her other foot. She sighed softly, and he looked at what he was doing. He should stop he knew that but he couldn't.

"Why were you lonely? The castle has hundreds of people in it.", he asked.

"No one cares about me or what I do.", She replied. She wasn't feeling sad or upset. She said it so matter of flatly it took him by surprise. Everyone loved her did she not see that? The little details she added to the castle had made an enormous difference. The way she helped with every task from picking the flowers to scrubbing the floors, everyone saw that. They all knew why the staff was happy every day, it was because of her. How could she not know that herself?

"The castle has changed since you arrived.", he said.

"What? My screw-ups couldn't possibly have made it change.", she said.

"Not your screw-ups, you. You changed the castle. It's happier then it has been in years. Don't you see that?", He said back softly. He watched as her lids finally fell and she sighed.

"You changed all of us princess, even me."

She woke the next day and was alone. She thought maybe he would stay but knew he was always busy doing something. She smiled at the memory of the night prior, he still was in a rush or had a prickly comment, but he showed he cared last night before she fell asleep. He returned with a bunch of boxes which he scattered in the floor, and he had left the door open, and people started coming in one by one to leave a little something a flower, some crackers, some lotion. When the visitors stopped, she looked at him as he sat next to her smugly. "You did that?", she asked,"for me?"

"You really didn't know did you?", he said as he looked down at her. "You needed to know." He moved closer to her, and she was a little confused as he gently kissed her lips as he tilted her face towards his. "You needed to know that too."

She had visitors all day, and she realized how everyone felt about her including her arrogant boss who looked over the two in the room and smiled. He told her she could have all the time off she needed to heal, he laughed and told Ieyasu he had the rest of today off and he expected news soon. Both looked confused at Nobunaga as he left. She looked at Ieyasu who slightly chuckled and smiled one of his rare smiles. "He really is a fool, but maybe not this time.", As he swooped down and kissed her again before the next set of people arrive. They didn't quite understand why she was so flushed because all she had was a hurt ankle...

[mossyrossaliceinterviews]

Going Down the Rabbit Hole with Wes Watkins

Aug 25, 2020

By Mossy Ross

Photo: Bohemian Foundation

Wes Watkins has seen it all. From living on the streets and sleeping on trains, to touring the world with bands like Air Dubai or Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats; Wes has earned his stripes as an authority on life experience. So I thought it would be more insightful to use his own words to introduce our interview, by sharing what he wrote on Bandcamp to release his latest EP:

“I share this rushed album in hope that it reaches you in a place of good health, curiosity, and motivation.

I do not think that I, by any means, have all the answers.

I do believe that if we were more diligent in our pursuit of the actuality of our country’s history we would find our generation more prepared to underpin the greater good in the days to come.

I believe that we have been subject to the bigoted representation of an individual’s worth by our racist country and most are unaware that they are even effected by the indoctrination.

I believe that we all have our own bias and true change starts with an individual.

I believe that when that individual can truly hold themselves accountable for their daily actions, words, or thoughts; then they can begin to truly hold their community accountable as well.

I believe when that community can truly hold themselves accountable for their daily actions, words, or thoughts; then they can begin to truly hold their communities accountable.

And the fight grows and goes on.

So I share this album to make, at least, the beginning of the painful process of unveiling the true chronicles of our country a little more sufferable.

I have included some very basic, Wikipedia, links to get everyone started on their voyage.

Stay healthy, Stay empowered, Stay informed, Stay curious.”

In keeping with Wes’s advice to stay curious and research, you can click on the bold faced words to learn more about the people, places, and political and historical events he references. You can click on each one, and go down a rabbit hole of enlightenment. According to Wes, information is our biggest ally in the fight towards a more equitable society. Here’s a chance to arm ourselves with knowledge. Mossy: Are you originally from Denver?

WW: Yeah, believe it or not.

Mossy: Why is that unbelievable?

WW: Well, because Denver is super segregated. Aurora’s a pretty integrated city. But I think being black and from Denver, not just, like, living in Denver, is kind of like being black and from Seattle.

Mossy: Gotcha. So what was growing up in Denver like? I’m guessing, based on the sound of your new album, that you grew up going to church.

WW: Yeah, I grew up in the church. My parents were like, “You are not listening to mainstream music.” So I could listen to oldies, and I was in the church, and I started playing trumpet when I was twelve. I was playing keys and singing before then. And then when I was seventeen, my parents got a messy divorce, and I ended up homeless. And I like to say I’d been playing trumpet, at that point, for six years. But when I really started playing trumpet, was when I was homeless. I used to meet all these old cats who were like, “Ah, you don’t know what you’re doin.’ Do this, do this.” And then when a buddy got back from college, all of a sudden I was in one band, and then I was in, like, a bajillion bands. And that brings us to here. And now I’m not in any bands. I quit all of that and started my own.

Photo: George Blosser

Mossy: How did you end up homeless from your parents’ divorce?

WW: My mother went to a shelter, and since I was turning eighteen the next week, I couldn’t go with her. And since a restraining order was filed against my father, I couldn’t go with him. I was a minor when the restraining order was filed.

Mossy: How long were you homeless?

WW: Few years. Three years-ish. I think by 2009, I was finally on a lease.

Mossy: Did you ever live in a shelter?

WW: I went to a shelter, but I bailed out of the shelter pretty quickly. Cus shelters are messed up, man. There’s cats who are workin’ the shelter dealing drugs. It’s just another system that is really poorly designed. So it’s not helping these cats who are stuck in these situations at all, really. I would buy a cup of coffee and sit in the coffee shop all night, and then I would buy a round trip ticket on our light rail, and just sleep on the light rail in the morning, and then go and play trumpets on the streets all day.

Mossy: So something I liked about your album besides just the music alone, was what you wrote about it on Bandcamp. History seems to be such a strong focal point for you. It seems like when history is taught in schools, it’s more for reading comprehension. You just read the chapter and answer the questions at the end. There’s rarely any context, or explanation for why things that happened in the past, are still affecting what’s happening now today. You have speech excerpts by James Baldwin, Malcolm X, Nina Simone…these important historical figures. Clearly it’s important to you for people to hear those voices. How do you think knowing history can help end the systemic racism in this country?

WW: Well first off, I’m actually a high school teacher now.

Mossy: Oh shit! What do you teach?

WW: I teach audio production at alternative high schools. But you know, I don’t believe in history. I say that a lot, I talk about history a lot. History’s just weird because whoever wrote the history, that’s what we’re hearing. The winning side gets to write history. What I really believe in is chronicles. Because a chronicle is a factual account of history. There’s no, “We won, so it was like this!” Look, the last civil rights movement was fourteen years long, and it never stopped. I think that now what I find, is what we’re teaching our kids is kind of this weird experience of, “Martin Luther King was like this, glorious god.” And it’s like, no, Martin Luther King was a chauvinist. He was a sex addict and he really struggled. But in the same regard, he did amazing things. If we were doing a better job of just saying, “This is what happened,” and letting people assess for themselves, I think that we could teach empathy. And I think if people were empathetic to how our world is working, then all of a sudden we don’t have racism. Racism exists because people don’t have the empathy. They don’t understand how to put themselves in somebody else’s shoes. And I don’t think we can actually put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes, but you can try. And that’s empathy. I don’t wanna have sympathy for anybody, I just want everybody to have a little bit of empathy. And I think there’s a reason that you have cats like King and Simone and Fred Hampton, Huey P. (Newton), Muhammad Ali, all these cats…they’ve been sayin’ the same thing. I wrote songs ten years ago that I can go and play at a show, that will still have valid content today. And that’s because nobody got the empathy tip.

Mossy: Yeah, history definitely helps teach empathy. But also critical thinking and curiosity. What you said about Martin Luther King, I mean, in some religious and/or racist communities, every great thing Martin Luther King did, is discredited because he cheated on his wife. And so, you have these pious, religious people saying that anything this man said about treating people like human beings, is completely null and void. Because he had his own issues. I mean, sex addiction is a real psychological problem. It doesn’t discredit everything you do. It just means you need help. It doesn’t mean you’re not a sensitive, intelligent person. If that was the case, we wouldn’t be able to like a lot of artists. Jackson Pollack or Michael Jackson.

WW: Yeah! I mean, people are still buying Kanye records! (Laughs) Why!? Have you ever heard the name Glenn E. Smiley? 

Mossy: No.

WW: Glenn E. Smiley is an interesting character that’s been erased from American history. When they started COINTELPRO, number one on that list was King. Number two on that list was a white man by the name of Glenn E. Smiley. Glenn E. Smiley studied Gandhian ideals. He’s who’s credited for teaching King peaceful protest. And so it’s like a weird thing where it’s like, why don’t we know who Glenn E. Smiley is? Why don’t white people know who Glenn E. Smiley is? Well, our government didn’t want them to know that there was a big, white ally character doing all of that. But Gandhi also… Gandhi was a racist! He hated black people. But still, there’s great things. You have to be able to see through that. Like you said, critical thinking. They don’t want us to critically think. That’s why we don’t get history.

Mossy: How did you hear about Glenn E. Smiley?

WW: Well, because I realized that before the last civil rights movement, a few interesting things happened. The Depression happened, then the New Deal happened, and even if there still was just a giant wage disparity, you could still get a job. People had jobs. You had educated black people who went to school for things like Civics. And we don’t have that now because they worked real hard to make sure we didn’t have that again, because they didn’t want a Black Messiah. And so, I realized, that we’re not prepared. I don’t think our generation is prepared for the civil rights movement, so I just think we should all be researching. I think we should be figuring out what the fight has been thus far. If we know what the fight has been, then we don’t have to keep fighting the same fight. We can say, “No! You said this fight was over for this, this, and this. And now we’re picking up the fight here.” We don’t need to try and redo everything that already happened. It already happened. And there’s been legislation that passed. We gotta put that legislation back in place. So yeah, I just started researching and I just found Glenn E. Smiley on Wikipedia.

Mossy: Yeah, Wikipedia and Snopes are your friends. You mentioned Fred Hampton before. He was shot in his sleep, and now we’re seeing that again just this year with Breanna Taylor. It’s like you said, we keep fighting over the same things. What do you think is the first thing people could do to take a step towards not being racist?

WW: I think it’s not just a first step, I think it’s every step. You have to ask “why?” We have all the options to learn the information. Black people didn’t create race. White people created race. Which is the weirdest thing. When I go down the rabbit hole, what I always get stuck on is, I don’t know why people are afraid. I think that there’s implicit bias towards a situation. I think true change is going to start with the individual dealing with that bias. I deal with my bias. I just retook all the Harvard bias exams. And I got that I had a strong bias towards trans people. And it’s something I talk about pretty publicly.

Because I don’t wanna hear stories about racists. I wanna hear stories about reformed racists. So I talk about how I took the Harvard bias exams recently, and I got a strong bias towards trans. And immediately my question was why? Why do I have that? I started to go down the rabbit hole, and I found out why. It’s because I’m a racist. Because I’m pissed off with white people all the time, and when I think about somebody being stuck in a body they don’t feel is theirs, who can afford to change that…it’s not people who look like me, for the most part. And that’s where that bias comes from. So now I have to go back and challenge the other bias it comes from. And I make the steps to become better every day, because I can ask why. I can critically assess that. I think the hardest thing to do is to challenge yourself. It’s easy to say, “Fuck the world, the world is racist.” It is hard to say, “Man, I just crossed the street to get away from that black person. Why did I do that?” So the question, I think, if you wanna fix racism is, “Why are you afraid?” And a lot of people don’t even know they’re afraid, so they are not even there, you know? For a lot of people, it’s like, “Why did I act that way?” first. And then they can say, “Because I was afraid.” And then you can start to dive into why. Just gotta ask why. Actually, I don’t think fixing racism is very hard. (Laughs)

Mossy: I know!

WW: Just be nice! I don’ t know. (Laughs)

Mossy: Or just have a conversation with someone who’s not like you, and find that they’re just a person like anyone else. So do you have any trans friends?

WW: Oh yeah. I’m pretty deep in the activist community here. And that’s the thing. I have friends who took the Harvard bias exams, and found they have a strong bias towards black men. And they’re some of my best friends. And they’re goin’ through asking “why?” Because they didn’t know that. I don’t think that having a bias is necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a step. It’s knowledge, it’s history. And as soon as you can understand that that exists, then you can start to address it. I’m pretty immersed in the scene, which is nice. And it’s funny, because I’ve talked to my trans friends about it, and I’m like, “Yeah, I realize where I get frustrated. It’s the race aspect of this.” And they understand where I’m coming from. They’re not stoked, obviously, about what I’m saying. They’re like, “Well this is still bigoted.” And I’m like, “Yes I know.” (Laughs) “I’m trying to deal with it.”

Mossy: That’s an amazing thing to be able to openly talk to people about a bias, but not have it end in some screaming fight. It’s realizing that this is a reality, and I’m not gonna deny what it is, and let’s talk about it and do something about it. It’s like any emotion you have. If you ignore it, it gets worse. When you address it, and give it the attention it needs, it subsides.

WW: Right. And as a teacher, I’m never gonna go up to a student and say, “You did that wrong.” What I’m going to say to the student is, “Maybe we could do this a different way.” And I think it’s easier for me to say, “We are bigoted. And this is where my bigotry lies.” Because then it doesn’t feel like I’m just gettin’ down on people. Even though, a lot of times I say, “We are bigoted,” and what people hear is, “I am bigoted.” And then they get mad. They get defensive, because they feel attacked. But I know I need to deal with all of these biases. Biases towards women, biases toward blacks. When I first took the Harvard bias exam, I got a strong bias towards black men. And so, yeah, we have to know that we have these things that have been indoctrinated into our cultures and, let’s fix it.

Mossy: I know that, as a woman, I’ve been indoctrinated to believe women are weaker and lesser than. So I’ve experienced a weird form of misogyny towards myself or other women, which sort of manifests as shame over what I am. One of my black friends told me one time that he finds black people to be more racist than white people. Which…I mean, I don’t know about that! But when you’re told your whole life that you’re less than, you start to believe it.

WW: Yeah, I have a lot of white friends here. I mean, I’m in Denver. I got a lot of white friends. And it’s something that comes up. I think for a lot of America, that’s part of the divisiveness that has been the control of our country. I did kind of grow up in rough conditions. I mean, I saw my first body when I was twelve years old. If you didn’t grow up immersed in that culture, and you never took the option to seek it out, because you don’t know to do that, then you don’t know. I took my first trip to New Orleans, and I remember getting there and being like, “What the hell is happening?” It was a different experience. It felt like I fit in. I’m, like, not a standard human being anywhere in the world. I go everywhere and I am fetishized and people are like, ”Why do you look so weird?” “Is that a man in a skirt?” I am a straight, cis man. I just don’t think clothes have gender. But in New Orleans, I fit in. And I realized that I had never taken the opportunity to seek out a community like New Orleans. I never thought that seeking out communities like that was an option for me, until I was touring. And so then, after I got some world experience and some perspective, I came back to Denver, and I started doing a better job of cultivating, and seeking that out.

Photo: jameson_us via Drew Botcherby

Mossy: One thing I think that’s been lost, is the art of debate. People will get on social media, and make their snarky comments, or they’ll just post a meme. But there’s no debate. I think being able to debate is something that’s really important. You seem really good at that. What do you think are some of the keys to healthy debate? So that conversations can be an intellectual exercise, rather than some sort of ego maniacal, verbal sparring that gets nowhere and upsets everybody.

WW: I ask “Why?” You know, I think black people are tired. I’ve been holding forums here in Denver. I’ll hit up a bunch of cats, we’ll go to the park, or some of the bars that are open here again. So we’ll go and get the big patio, and we have our own table. And all the beatniks used to hang out at this bar in Denver. “On the Road” was written at this bar. It has a good vibe there, where I know this shit was happening here before. And we sit and we just talk. And I think the big thing is, as your talkin’ to somebody, you know, nobody can tell me what my experience has been like as a black man, except for myself. I think the big thing is you just have to be able to trust that people have had an experience that you can understand. The name of the game is intersection. You have to be able to kind of try and figure out how to understand the emotion that came when this person had this experience. 

And as far as online, I don’t think anything’s going to get solved online. I think that the online presence is dopamine addiction. It’s click bait. My black problems are not your click bait. I have seen people who I know from Denver posting beach selfies, and the hashtag is “Black Lives Matter.” What is that about? I don’t think that me engaging that situation online is going to fix anything. I think me trying to invite people like that to a forum of free thinking people, who are trying to just get to the root, might help fix that. We’re gonna talk about the history. We’re gonna try and spread information. When they’re there in that situation, they get held accountable. Because you’re looking somebody in the face. If you’re on the phone, and you don’t like what somebody says, you say “Fuck you,” and you shut off your phone. It’s easy to get away from. If you can’t get away from it, it’s different. It’s the same thing as those people saying, “Black people need to do this, black people need to do that,” but they have never in their lives met a black person. Cus they’re all the way out in, who knows where. Even this hood. You got all these people living out in Cherry Creek, and they don’t know that, before it was a part of Denver, this was the black hood. And then the KKK came in. Maybe it’s changed now, but for a long time, we had the most Klan members per capita in the United States. The grand master used to live in Colorado. Our streets are named after these cats.

Mossy: Is that changing?

WW: Well one of the neighborhoods, it looks like, is going to change. (Laughs)

Mossy: Just one?

WW: Because people don’t have the information. And Denver’s become such a hub too, so there’s so many new people here. And they just don’t know. They don’t know that the street they drive down every day across town, is named after a Klan member. They don’t know that the statue that just got toppled in front of our capital, was the dude who committed the Sand Creek massacre. People just don’t know. So, I think that’s our job. That’s why I encourage people to research. People need to be informed, so that they can understand the “why” of who they are.

Mossy: I think it’s the values of those in power that is most concerning, because they’re so separate from what the values of the majority are. We value health, community, and sustainability over acquiring and hoarding. We all have to want what they have in order to give it value. If we all just said that it was kind of gross and lame to have fifty billion dollars while people are starving in the street, their whole system would fall to the ground. Do you think some of our political leaders are getting scared because the people are getting wise to their dangerous and exploitative value systems?

WW: Yeah, this came up at one of the forums recently. Minority or oppressed communities thrive because of culture. They thrive because they’re a community. But on the other side, when you think about the white male leader, he thrives in comfort. I’ve never in my life had my black buddy pull up to my house and be like, “Look, I got the nicest car on the block.” He might come up and be like, “Yo, you wanna see my car? Let’s go for a ride.” But he’s not gonna be like, “I have the nicest car, I have the nicest house.” But that is what we have taught white men that they have to be. And I think that’s what we taught white culture in a big way. And unfortunately then, we’ve taught black people that their worth lies in being recognized in white culture. So now they’re trying to do it on top of it. I think that the most dangerous thing for our world is to have an individual. They don’t want us to have individuals, so they got us all into the idea of this American Dream. It’s not the American Dream, it’s a rich white man’s dream.

Mossy: It’s true. And now, like you say, that has become the new measure for equality. Equality shouldn’t mean that a woman or a black person or an immigrant has as much stuff as their white rich neighbor. To me, it means that they have the freedom to live their lives within the value systems that are important to them. If that means that they work four hours a day, so they can spend the rest of the day with their families or serving their communities or creating, then that’s their business. But now, you see black people or women who claim to have equal rights, because they have the same job or lifestyle as a white man. But they’re just basically dressing and acting like a white man.

Equality is not to be measured by how evenly your life compares to a white man’s, and his acquisitions. It’s about living the life you want to live, whatever that looks like. And not having to struggle to do that.

WW: I was watching that dude Michael Che from Saturday Night Live. And he’s like, “You know what’s weird. Black people didn’t ask for anything extra. Like, the gay community went out and said, ‘We want equal rights.’ Our rights movement was the civil rights movement. We just want ya’ll to be civil!”

Mossy: What do these forums you hold look like? How many people are there? What’s the age, gender, race demographic? How often do you all meet? I would love to know the logistics so I could try to do the same.

WW: Yeah, that’s really my goal, is to encourage other people to start doing the same. I mean, I don’t have the time to fix racism. (Laughs) I think James Baldwin nailed it. All those cats said the exact same thing, “Look, we already tried to fix racism. You guys fix it.” We don’t know how to fix it. We’re not thinking about you any differently because the color of your skin, we’re thinking about you differently because of how you’re treating us. I mean, I teach at alternative high schools, so I have had one white student in four years of teaching now. So it’s easier for me to teach kids like that because I look kind of like them. They can hear me a little easier. If you went to that same school, they’d be like, “What’re you doing?” They wouldn’t be able to release themselves enough. So I was like, we gotta start forums so people can let their flags fly, so we can kind of start to address it.

Otherwise, we’re in a dangerous situation. We need to get to a place where people can start to call out their peers. For example, when all the protests started down here, one of the biggest struggles I’ve had is with white women. And liberal white women! I’m lucky I got some good white friends. Cus those cats…we all share our location. If I go downtown for the protests right now, they will be there within fifteen minutes. They will get out of work, they will show up, cus they know I’m down there. So we’re downtown with one of my black friends, and by this point, legislation had been passed in Denver so the cops weren’t being violent in the same way. Now Aurora’s about get to lit on fire. But, Denver had chilled out. And this lady is on the Black Lives Matter side, and she’s screaming at these cops, “You have a tiny dick!” “Your job doesn’t matter!” “Your wife’s gonna leave you!” And all this stuff! I mean, I have a big mouth, but I’m kind. (Laughs)

Mossy: And this was a white woman who was saying this?

WW: Yeah. Holding a “Black Lives Matter” sign. And I walk over to her and say, “Ma’am, could I talk to you?” And she says, “Oh sure!” Immediately so nice with me, ya know? And I said, “Hey, I just wanted to ask you if, maybe while I’m walking my buddy home, if you wouldn’t scream at the cops? But either way, maybe we shouldn’t be screaming at the cops. Because we’re just speaking their language. We’re just feeding into the same system, you know?” She called me an Uncle Tom. So I gave her a joint and went, “Here ya go. Have a good night.” If you are holding a Black Lives Matter sign, and then you’re calling me an Uncle Tom, because I’m asking you to stop doing something that’s making me feel unsafe, what are you really doing down here? And I’ve had a lot of experiences like that. So my reaction was, I need the hip white women I know, to be callin’ out white women. Get your people. I’m gettin’ mine. I’m callin’ men out left and right. Unabashedly. 

The one thing I’m really starting to work on, and I don’t know how to address yet, is black men. Because, look, me and you, we are in an interesting place. We represent the side of the oppressors, and the side of the oppressed. And if that’s the case, that means we have to be really careful about what we’re saying to people, why we’re saying it to them, and when we’re saying it to them. I’ve seen some kind of whack things in these protests, where it’s just black men shutting women down left and right. And I don’t like that. I think unfortunately we kind of have to address it all at the same time. And I don’t think all of us can address everything, but that’s why we’re doing the forums. And they do always change. There’s a crew of about three or four of us who are always around.

Mossy: You’ve mentioned de-escalation. I think de-escalation is a good word. I do think things are being escalated, partly by the pandemic because people have been stuck in their houses and losing their jobs. There are so many factors at play here, and it’s creating a potentially dangerous situation if we don’t work harder at de-escalation. I think that can be accomplished with exactly what you’re doing. Meeting in small groups, not meeting en masse where cops are gonna come and do god knows what. This is how we can get one over on them. This is how we can intellectualize this revolution, instead of turning it into a civil war. Weapons are used when people aren’t thinking enough. This is a way of saying we’re gonna do something different. We’re gonna meet in small groups and talk about how we can get along, even though we’re all different and come from different places.

WW: I agree. I mean, there’s gonna be people who fight with the cops. But this isn’t even about the cops! That’s the weirdest thing to me.

Everybody’s like, stuck on the cops. This is so much bigger. But I think it all just starts with uniting our general public, the citizens. Because we’re all in the same place. Unfortunately, the only way that systemic oppression can work is, anybody who shares a quality with me, if you’re an artist, if you’re a teacher, if you’re black, if you’re a woman, if you’re poor…if you share any quality with black culture, you’re going to be oppressed. But maintain hope. And research. We got some time. This isn’t going away overnight.

Listen to Wes’s entire EP and other works at: https://cosmicslim.bandcamp.com/

Follow on IG @theweswatkins

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​By Roxanne Reid It’s like falling down Alice’s rabbit hole to a wacky world where there’s no front door, walls are made of books, friendly ghosts walk the passages, and you’ll meet a character just as intriguing as the March Hare. Find out why to visit the Royal Hotel, Bethulie, Free State.

​Bethulie lies in sheep-and-cattle country in South Africa’s dry heartland. Call it the Free State or even the Upper Karoo, no one will argue. Founded back in the 1830s, it sits on the northern banks of the Orange River about 50km from the massive Gariep Dam. At first sight this dusty little dorp looks like it has little to offer a visitor. You might wonder what the hell you’re doing here and whether you should turn tail and run – especially when you can’t find an entrance to your accommodation at the Royal Hotel. Litter and dry leaves scuttle across the pavement and the midday heat beats down as you walk the length and breadth of the hotel’s facade. Not a door is unlocked. Eventually you’ll go round the back, through an eerily empty parking lot and hear voices through a half-open door.

The hotel faces the street on two sides yet you have to go round the back to find the entrance

​Yes, the young woman told me, I was in the right place. If I just went to that door around the back and waited, someone would let me in. I did and before long the hotel’s owner, Anthony Hocking, was beetling his bushy brows at me, smiling a Cheshire Cat welcome and gesturing me in. Down the rabbit hole. One step inside and all you see are narrow wood-floored passages lined with books. More books than you’ve ever seen in one place outside a library. (Probably more books than inside a lot of libraries.) This is the reason I’m here. Because I’ve heard about it. And I love books.

The book passage, your first sight of the Royal Hotel's interior

There’s a rabbit warren of dimly lit reception rooms stuffed with books and vinyls too (or LP records to the oldies among you). You see, Anthony is a bit of a pack rat, but with very specific tastes. He reckons his collection totals about 120 000 books and 80 000 records, but only a fraction of those are on display in the hotel. The rest spill over into his house across the road, and one or two other buildings he owns nearby.

No, it's not wallpaper - books, books, books everywhere

The collection is eclectic. Some of the books may be valuable, others he perhaps used for research when he was writing his own books, a medley of works about the paper and mining industries, the Oppenheimers, a few about Canada. The collection includes history and biography, travel and art, as well as a ton of fiction paperbacks, some of them bought for a pittance as job lots to fill the boundless spaces. The tale of the Royal Hotel Back in the 1860s the building that was to give way to the Royal Hotel was a trading store owned by JB Robinson who later made a big splash in diamonds and gold. The hotel itself was founded in the 1880s and has seen its share of well known people, like the infamous Lord Kitchener and Boer President Marthinus Steyn. Anthony has had a home across the road since 1983 so he watched as the Royal Hotel slid into shabby dilapidation. After it was auctioned and the deal fell through he bought it for song in 2005, not quite sure what he was going to do with it. Luckily, he soon struck a deal to fill the rooms with people manning road works in the area. That brought in some income for about 18 months. Later, a Spanish tour company expressed interest in adding the hotel to their stopover route if he’d restore it. And that’s how the Royal Hotel’s renaissance began.

Just a few of the vinyls in the extensive collection

It makes a good base for visitors who want to explore the historical sites of Bethulie. And although nothing was happening when we stayed there, you might strike it lucky and visit when a music recital, poetry reading, wine weekend or murder mystery weekend is on the go. The rooms are nothing fancy, but they’re clean and have all the bits and bobs you need, including a life-saving portable fan to cope with the summer heat. It’s enough for anyone who’s there chiefly for the deluge of books. Stories, stories, stories A collection that’s more subtle, less in-your-face than the books or vinyls is the anthology of stories that Anthony has on the tip of his tongue. He styles himself a storyteller and raconteur and can certainly spin a good yarn, whether it’s about the town’s history or his own life adventures. Over dinner, as we sat dwarfed by books from floor to ceiling, we discovered he’s a keen Bethulie historian and a bit of an Anglo Boer War buff. He drenched us in stories of the war and of his days as a dishwasher in Montmartre or working on a ship during his university holidays. Over breakfast he told us more about ‘the war’ (which around here always refers to the Anglo Boer War of 1899-1902) and about the hoax debutante ball he and some friends at Oxford threw together for a lark. ​He tells a ripping ghost story too. Inset into the walls of books are a few panels where paintings hang. Four of them in one of the reception rooms are blank white spaces. Those, he insists, are portraits of ghosts, who he describes in great detail – like war correspondent Edith Dickenson whose ghost helps to keep the others upbeat. Generally, they’re a peaceful lot so there’s no need to be afraid.  

Portraits of two of the 'ghosts'

Stories come burbling out non-stop. If you look interested and he’s not busy he might volunteer to take you to see historical sites around the town, all the while relating tales about shenanigans and perhaps some bad behaviour in the old days. His Duracell-bunny energy and tendency to jump from story to story can be exhausting, battering your brain with new information at breakneck speed. But if you can keep up, you’ll learn a lot of fascinating stuff. Things to do in Bethulie Obviously, experiencing the Royal Hotel’s book and vinyl collections and meeting its colourful owner are hefty reasons to stay over in Bethulie. But they’re not the only things to do in this small town. Here are some others. 1. Visit the oldest house in the Free State. Back in 1828 there was a London Missionary Society station here to convert the San, until Jean Pierre Pellissier of the Paris Missionary Society arrived in 1832. The Pellissier House museum dates back to 1834-35 and now has displays that include old furniture, photos, clothes and war relics. 

Pellissier House, the oldest house in the Free State

2. See the house where actor and storyteller Patrick Mynhardt lived as a boy. He is most well remembered for his renditions of Herman Charles Bosman’s character Oom Schalk Lourens and for his autobiography The Boy from Bethulie. 3. Visit the Louw Wepener monument on a farm 10km west of Bethulie on the Springfontein road (R715). Wepener led the Free State commandos during the second Basotho War and was killed in 1865 while trying to storm Moshoeshoe’s mountain fortress of Thaba Bosiu.

Louw Wepener monument

4. If you’re interested in San rock art and fossils, you’re in luck. Talk to Anthony or Bethulie Tourism for more info about a guide who can take you to see them. You probably need to arrange this ahead. 5. Pay homage at the Bethulie concentration camp cemetery, Kamp Kerkhof. When it was thought the Gariep Dam was going to flood the original Anglo Boer War concentration camp site, bones were exhumed and reburied on higher ground just out of town in 1966. (Later it was discovered there was too much dolerite rock where they planned to put the dam so it was built in its current position instead.) At one place in the monument it says 1737 people died here during the Anglo Boer War, in another place it says 1714. Either way, it’s a lot. At the back, under lock and key, are some of the original rough gravestones. The monument is made of austere grey stone and when we visited a blistering wind made for an appropriately grim atmosphere. 

Kamp Kerkhof, the Bethulie concentration camp cemetery and memorial

​We also went to the site of the actual concentration camp with Anthony, finding a desolate piece of veld and some remnants of broken gravestones. As many as 5000 people were interred here at full capacity. It was the worst of all 33 camps around the country – largely because the Brit running it was young and inexperienced. He put the tents too close together so disease spread quickly. Water rations were short and the inmates used stream water that was contaminated by cattle that had died of rinderpest and been buried upstream. Typhoid spread like wildfire in the cramped conditions. At the original site there’s also a strange blockish monument that looks like a ruin but in fact was never finished. British women funded the monument that was started in 1918 in solidarity with Boer women but the Boer women were in no mood to accept the gesture, so it was never finished.

Unfinished monument at the site of the Bethulie concentration camp

6. Take a drive to the Gariep Dam about 50km from Bethulie on the R701. It was completed in 1971 and is the biggest in South Africa, with a surface area of 374 square kilometres and storage capacity of 5,340,000 megalitres. Here you’ll find activities like water sports and game viewing in the adjacent nature reserve, where you might spot wildebeest, eland, kudu, red hartebeest, springbok and other antelope. Word is that the dam is silting up and there’s a plan to raise the dam wall. 7. At sunrise or sunset feast your eyes on the arched sandstone bridge across the Orange River. Known as the Hennie Steyn Bridge, it’s the longest road-rail bridge in South Africa. At 1.2km, it connects the Free State to the Eastern Cape.

Longest road-rail bridge in South Africa

8. If you’re a history buff, there are many more old buildings and monuments to discover in Bethulie, from an ox wagon monument and a monument to honour the role horses have played in South Africa’s history, to the Dutch Reformed church completed in 1887 and now a national monument.

What's left of an old water cooling plant on a hill above Bethulie

​9. Visit the old railway station at the edge of town. It’s an atmospheric corrugated iron building dating back to 1894 and painted a sun-bleached red. It has a connection to the Bethulie ‘book hotel’ too. When it was slated for demolition, Royal Hotel owner Anthony Hocking, who loves a bit of history, bought it to save it from destruction. For his efforts in preserving this small piece of heritage, the Federasie van Afrikaanse Kultuurvereniginge (an organisation dedicated to preserving Afrikaans culture and heritage) recently gave Anthony (a dyed-in-the-wool Englishman) an award. He’s understandably chuffed.

The old railway station

10. If you’re looking for something more action-packed, there’s hiking, cycling (on-road and off-road trails), fishing, star-gazing and ghost hunting. If those don’t appeal to you, just sit back and do bugger all – it’s equally exhilarating. ​Like it? Pin this image! 

You may also enjoy 15 things to do in Clarens in the Free State Maliba Lodge: a romantic & honeymoon getaway ​ Copyright © Roxanne Reid - No words or photographs on this site may be used without permission from roxannereid.co.za

[iimpicide]

My fnaf au, read it if you want :3

Generation 1. ????-1982 The grand opening of circus baby’s pizzeria! The animatronics are quite futuristic and really human like, there’s baby, ballora, Funtime foxy and Freddy! Plus their little pals bidybabs and minireenas. The pizzeria is really fun cause the kids can be entertained by fun fox and fun Fred or exercise with ballora, but the kids absolutely love baby! She can almost do everything like think, learn, teach, play and more. The pizza is delicious too, everything was fine, the animatronics were doing their job until that one day. I don’t know why she did it but baby didn’t want to play anymore, she didn’t want to be told anything anymore, before anybody noticed the little girl was gone and no one knew where she went. She’s dead. Baby killed her but it was an accident, as long as no one knows about this we’ll use something to snap them back to their old selves! Maybe something called “controlled shock” so they can be normal again, their robots anyways they can’t feel pain! But we need to put baby away so she won’t do that to anymore kids ever again.. - The day was great but our night shift always quit, maybe cause it’s too dark? Oh well. We’ll hire a new one and give them a better pay? That’ll probably keep them longer, anyways what will the kids think about baby being gone? Maybe just say she’s out of order, the kids will understand, we’ll just close up for today because it’s really late. The new night shift is here and ready to work! Just gonna lay back and relax and make sure nobody steals anything. CHOMP! Fun fox snapped at his head killing him instantly, the staff found the body but not sure how he died but their just gonna say he had a heart attack. Hire a new one and tell him to be careful this time, the second night shift is here and ready to work but they told him about calling 911 if he needs medical attention, also there was a dead body in the vent.. Have a nice day! The night shift worker was named eggs Benedict, they told him to use controlled shock on the animatronics so they will keep working. But then baby told him about the truth of this pizzeria and how he needs to help them, he helped them and baby just used him so they can escape and live happily. Eggs thought he would live but they took out his guts, his bones, his veins so they can use his skin and be human! It worked for almost a week, they were so happy but then he started to rot. Smelly, yuck, he turned purple and because that colour was inhuman they had to ditch the body and try to find a new one (instead they got their old robot “skin”), but they didn’t know he was still alive and now he’s purple man because of his skin colour, angered fuelled his soul, used then left for dead! Killed 2 innocents! Those rotten robots, evil robots! Purple man wanted revenge, he wanted to get rid of these kind of restaurants so he burned each one (around where he lived) even if those robots in the other ones didn’t do anything, he burned them but what he didn’t know what that there was still children, families maybe in those restaurants. Purple man the killer, hater of kids.. Robots too but he didn’t mean to kill the kids but it was too late to clear his name, his name was in the newspapers but not for a good reason. Purple man didn’t like this but then he ran away where he was never seen again.. Bye u jerk why u kill robots man

Generation 2. 1983-1987 fredbears family diner

Redesigned robots, soft n cuddly animals were better than human robots anyways, ah 4 years without an incident.. Feels nice to not close this one down too :^) fredbear and spring Bonnie were playing their instrument, they played country music which was calming cause it wasn’t too loud for the parents. The kids loved listening to them and sometimes the kids tell the animatronics stories too! They listen, but what the staff didn’t know what that the animatronics could learn, they learn’t how to love, feel, talk, notice things and they developed personalities. Fredbear liked spring but she didn’t notice even when it was obvious, fredbear tried to do things like humans do like making jokes even if he wasn’t programmed to do that, one day these kids were fooling around, fredbear told them to be careful but before he could stop them or make them stop there was a kid locked in his jaws, still singing he bit down and there was people screaming as they watched in horror, blood dripping down from his mouth and the kids trying to free the boy from his jaws. The staff called the ambulance then shut fredbear down and tried to remove the little boy, to be safe they shut spring Bonnie down too but meanwhile the boy was freed and the restaurant had to be closed down fredbear was sitting against the wall with spring Bonnie trying to tell her how he felt before anything happened to them, spring was happy he finally said that but while they were having a moment the staff didn’t know what to do with these learning robots so they shut spring Bonnie off first and put her in the safe room but since fredbear was too heavy to lift they left him alone to rot away, same with spring.

Generation 3 Freddy fazbears pizza! 1999-2006

New and improved animatronics, cuddlier softer and meant to look like plush but still look like animals. There’s Freddy, Bonnie, chica and foxy! They had jobs to let kids know what to do and not to do, of course they needed strict rules so no kids get harmed again. This pizzeria is going great! Freddy singing about pizza. Kids watching from a distance, maybe this pizzeria is gonna go without incidents! (Rip records lol) they even had their own cartoon! It didn’t last long due to budget but still going great, foxy on the other hand sadly lost his balance and fell down off the stage in pirate cove landing on a child only breaking his leg, poor foxy, his eye is broken and his right arm is loose, there’s a hole in his chest from the kids leg going through it, his jaw is busted and some teeth fell out. Yikes I don’t think the staff can fix this one this time, they closed the pirate cove down and said it was “out of order”. Poor old foxy left to rot just like.. Wtf there’s a strange bear in the cove, well shit, I guess they put him there due to space. The years went on and the animatronics are starting to look kinda crappy now, not like how they first started out. Maybe we should give them a reboot? While the restaurant closed and they since they really liked these robots they put them in storage for a bit while they sketch out the reboots, they also put all the furniture away except the boxes full of toys and party hats, while they did that Goldie tried to look for spring but then there was smoke? Where was it coming from? Purple man was setting the place on fire not knowing there was barely anything in there (no windows) Goldie escaped thinking spring would be safe, he was wrong spring burned a little from the fire before the firefighters put the fire out. The fire spread to the trees where purple man was caught in the flames, he died and his soul found a dying spring where he possessed but got trapped in the spring bunny and since he didn’t want to feel trapped he made spring feel trapped in her own body and now with a messed up voice, burned fur and broken a broken eye, spring seems really frightening to the staff and left spring in a new safe room/storage only to develop insanity, depression, trust issues and claustrophobia.

Generation 4 (reboot) 2007-current day

The new reboot looks great! Cute animals are the “it” thing today, the kids love them. Since they have a better build and they can’t loose balance their free to wander and talk to the kids! The parents can book party rooms if the child has a birthday, now there’s two more animatronics, marionette and balloon boy! One gives gifts and the other gives balloons to the kids, the rebooted foxy didn’t last long. She was pulled apart but children because they climbed and tugged on her arms too much, we decided to was best to loosen her arms and legs and make her easy to pull and put back together, she was turned into a building station but it was “for the best”; just like the old fredbears family diner the animatronics learned and grew personalities and they stored memories in their “memory chip” cause at night they turned the pizzeria into a hangout and they talked and are things even if they can’t eat but they found a way to eat anyways lol, one night while hanging out they heard kicking and yelling in the wall? Strange, they went to investigate but the toys were pretty weak so they went and opened the parts and service room and told the oldies to open the door for them and they did with Goldie’s help and there they saw a weird bunny thing, broken ear and burned slightly on one side. He was throwing things and kicking boxes like a little kid but it was literally the only thing he could do in that room, when they opened the door they scared poor spring and he hid behind the boxes like a cat, scaredy cat rabbit they said where spring got mad and came out of the room fast. The first look at the broken bunny kinda sent chills down their backs but then toy chica said “hi” and everyone else did the same and each of them got to know spring where spring was actually a sweetheart, changed attitude at times but he was really nice if you got to know him well, it was nice to watch him reunite with the old gold bear. Lefe is gud.

Generation 4 (never happened yet)

[softjiminstan]

you're an oldie which is waaaaay cooler! way too cool for me. like if i could wish for one thing it's to go back in time and discover these (then) hidden gems earlier 😭😭 oh, are u okay now? :( I hope everything is well and both your physical and mental/emotional health are well!

WAIT YOU WENT TO THEIR CONCERT? GIRL SPILLLLL! EVERYTHING! how was it? do they really look more gorgeous irl? like is that even possible? i bet u had a great time! 'for the first time' does that mean you saw them more than once?

DAMN IT IT'S HARD AF! SERENDIPITY & SPRING DAY SHOULD BE THERE TOO I'M CRYING I DEMAND A RECOUNT! ooh yes bts basically introduced me to kpop so i was exposed to other groups. I love super junior, big bang, kard, exo, and seventeen are so cute. gg i love are blackpink, red velvet and exid, recently i started to like twice's likey likey too. your turn.

namjoon is really out here collaborating w/ people like wale, warren g, and now fall out boy! i'm so proud of my boy!! i'm literally just spamming ur ask at this point i'm so sorry you'll have to clean your ask. i'll try to keep it short next time kfglfjlsd. have a good day/evening sweetie. dress warmly!

fjldkfj no i’m so lame!! but also the cool thing is that it really doesn’t matter when you start getting into them, yeah there are some things that are cool bc you get to experience them right as they’re happening but otherwise a lot of stuff can be found online which is cool. they really spoil us by constantly creating and releasing content. thank you sweet cheeks! i’m okay i think i’m just lonely ahaha of all things...also i’m the type to keep things to myself so once in a while things can boil over if that makes sense. awh yeah you’re totally right about that i mean that’s how i found my way into kpop too. 

i’m gonna put the rest of my answer under the cut bc it is kinda long lol i love to talk! 

yea i went to their show in newark. it was definitely a journey to get to the venue but once i got into sound check (finally) the rest of the experience was a lot better. i can honestly say it was the best concert i’ve ever been to. honestly bc of the stage lighting it was hard to clearly see their faces at times but they all looked really good and tall. i’m super short, i’m like 5′1″/5′2″ they were also so cute their ments were good but at the time i couldn’t hear much bc everyone near me was screaming so loud and also i think they were kinda speaking a little softer than usual probably bc they were speaking in english and might not be that comfy with it at the time. noooo that was the first and so far only time. i’m actually starting to seriously plan a trip to korea. my friend went for an exchange program (not bc of kpop or anything she got into when she stayed there) but basically she knows korean really well and knows a lot more about the culture, norms, and places to visit. so i want to go with her and hopefully when we go there’s a bts thing going on and maybe i can get...tickets....maybe lol this is in like 2019 tho so nothing rn

ahahaha that’s like the #1 about me i’m extra when i can be. ahhh yeahhh i totally forgot about sea, i would make that #6 for me. lol they make such good bops it’s so hard to have a definitive list anymore. yeah! i love blackpink too, shinee, f(x), i haven’t listened to twice that much but i do wanna get back into them. 

d u d e  thnks fr th mmrs was my song for most of my tween years lol it’s so weird to see a band i loved growing up and a band i love now collabing. that’s totally okay!! i love these long messages i feel like i can get to know you better through them! thank you i hope you’re having a good day

[djnefarious-blog]

The Start of DJing and producing

Sound Mixtures Through the journey of different gear, sounds, vst's and vinyl... Yes, vinyl!  I will be talking about that one a lot.  Thinking back to when I was a kid, I have always been passionate with anything involving audio.  I loved anything I felt I could control, especially gadgets.  The first time I saw someone scratching a record, (yes, you guessed it) my entire life changed.  Of course, I had no clue at the time but I was sure something happened: I became obsessed.  Now, I did not become a music producer or even a DJ overnight.  Actually, my first set of turntables were a pair of belt drives (I know all you DJ's out there can relate)!  I played around with these for about a year or so until my love of music took a backseat to my addiction of drugs and alcohol.  I let music slip away from me for a few years until I found sobriety.  I came back to my music with nothing but a vestax mixer, one belt drive and one direct drive for scratching.  I knew I would have to work hard to become the DJI knew I could be.  Heaven came early when I found  a pair of Technics and a whole collection of vinyl from a retired dj.  I began practicing day in and day out with real vinyl.  I was finally able to purchase Serato and taught myself the art of mixing and scratching.  One day, a friend of mine told me about a sampler called the MPC 1000... oh, baby.  The first time I hit those pads, I knew it was game over.  It took me about a year but I was finally able to master the sampler.  I was hooked.  I bought any little piece of gear I could find: rack mounts, MPC chords, slip mats, and RECORDS!  Record shopping became my newest habit.  I would go every couple of days.  People found out about my record obsession and started dropping them off to me by the crate.  As I mentioned before, my new sampler was love at first sight.  My true passion is and will always be my MPC.  It is the biggest weapon in my arsenal and the brain of anything I create.  I became friends with the owners of every small shop I could find.  I think they were pleasantly surprised when such a young kid would come into their store and talk about the oldies and ask weird questions like: "do you have any records that only have drums?"  They would make the funniest faces.  (This was before I knew how to sample my own sounds, of course).  To this day, artwork plays a key role in the records I buy.  If I can look at the cover and the artwork looks the way I want the tracks to feels, it's mine.  Don't get me wrong, it is also important to learn how to read the information on the back of the record: musicians, instruments, genre, style, the year it was released, etc.  All of that is really important.  You should also know how far down the rabbit hole you are willing to go.  I would binge for weeks looking for a certain style, collecting literally hundreds of records from stores and radio stations and realizing I only liked 10 of them.  All of this is part of the passion.  If you love something as much as I love creating music, you know exactly what I mean.  It's the entire process: the hunt, the methods, the gear, the smell of the dust.. OH GOD.. the smell of DUST!! That's my favorite part.  When you get home from the record store and realize the tips of your fingers are covered or your body is sore because you were hunched over in weird positions all day digging.  When I get home with the records, I turn the world off.  I put those records on alongside a large pot of coffee and some nicotine.  I look for something the makes my jump, makes my head move, makes me want to dance, makes me feel anything at all.  I look for grooves in the grains of the record, skip through the tracks quickly and record lots of little pieces of each song.  I can only explain it as a sexually spiritual experience.  After I record everything, I chop up the samples, program it onto the pads, find the right drum sounds, and begin to create.  I've recently been using the the MPC studio and the Akai MPK25.  I mentioned that I went though my phase of buying everything but I've since sold it all except these two pieces because that's all I need.  I always told myself that I wouldn't produce on the computer but with all of the vst's and software out there, I love using the computer now!!  My setup is perfect for me, someone who needs to be touching and playing with knobs but also needs a very fast work flow.   Akai makes really solid gear and has never let me down with anything I've purchased from them.  

 This post was to hopefully give you an insight on how I became a music nerd.  I will go into more detail about various things in later posts.  Thanks for reading my blog and I'm looking forward to chatting with you very soon.   Drop any comments, ideas, or thoughts that came up when you read this.  What was your first piece of gear?  What's your process?  How did you fall in love with music?  Comment anything you want me to know!  

Peace!

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