#so I was like oh I'll set them on fire and slowly carve my way over to him

[kittlyns]

Just did a war crime against a guy called baelen bonecloak. Rip Mr. Bonecloak

[six-eyed-samurai]

"Join the Cleaners."

She shoots a deadpan look at him, head tucked into the crook of her elbow. One leg lazily kicks at his, causing a yell that makes her chuckle slowly. "Told you. Nope."

"Why not?" The blond scooted his stool closer, resting his head on his hand to stare intently at her. The drinks sat forgotten between them.

"Enjin, you've been seeing me nearly every day at this damn bar and asking me the same question for so long. When are you gonna give up?"

He grins. "When you join the Cleaners."

"God, you're so annoying." She shoved him away without any real force. "I'm doing okay. I don't need to join the Cleaners."

"But we need as many Givers as possible," Enjin persisted. "And I've seen you in action - you're really amazing. Besides, you know everyone and everyone likes you. I like you. I wanna see you more, not at some seedy booze house where you reject me every day."

"Reject?" She prodded at the cup, averting her eyes. "I've got my reasons. I've told you a million times already I'm not interested."

"What possible reason could there be? You get free boarding, meals, water, if you're materialistic. Don't act like you don't wanna see the team either." What a pest he can be; it almost carves a smile on her face. "I'll even take your rejection - the romantic one, I mean - if you come join. I'll buy your tab and everything."

She reaches out and flicks a finger at his face. "Tempting. I feel almost convinced."

Enjin rubs at the sore spot, frowning as he watches her down the rest of her drink and get to her feet. He swiveled around in his seat, wishing he was a little less sober to not feel disappointed as she strides towards the exit.

"Sorry, Enjin, but it's a hard pass."

"See you tomorrow?"

"If I can make it." She glances back and her face adds, You know I will.

"M'kay. Stay safe - !"

She stops short. "That's new. What's the matter?"

"Nothing?" Enjin raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Just thought - you've got a black eye."

"Oh. That."

She walks out pretty quickly and Enjin goes back to nursing his cup, wondering if a cigarette will fix the twinge he feels at the funny tone she had.

***

The next night he sees her, she's slumped on the counter. Enjin might've thought she'd drunk herself into a stupor if he hadn't known she could hold her liquor like crazy and there were no cups in sight. He slides in beside her, tapping her cheek to wake her up.

"Good evening, sleeping beauty. Whatever happened to your face?"

She gingerly brushes a thumb across her busted lip. "Accident. No big deal."

"Looks like a big ouch. I can clean it up for you, or that shoulder still hurts you can go to the Cleaner HQ with me. We've got a pretty good medic and you can spend the night with me...uh, not in that way."

"Funny, Enjin, and thanks for the offer. I'm fine though - or, I'll be fine," She corrects herself upon seeing his face.

"Y'know, I've been thinking-"

"Don't do that, it'll hurt your head."

Enjin huffs. "You're always so mean to me. As I was saying, I wanna know. Do you keep rejecting me because you think I'm just trying to get you to join the Cleaners or that I wanna get in your pants and vanish the next day?"

"Well, dunno, you do look like a womanizer." She enjoys a laugh at his hurt, melodramatic expense. "Nah, it's not that. I'm just...spoken for..."

"You're taken?" Enjin's mouth falls open comically. "Shit, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be disrespectful or anything -"

"It's alright, I'd rather it not affect us or anything." She shrugs and steals his drink.

Enjin works on closing his jaw. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"..." She makes a face. "Sometimes... never mind. Forget it - you know now, don't you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"I'll set you on fire with your drink if you press the subject." She props her chin up with her hand and leans forward, trying to smile through disturbed eyes. "So? What Trash Beast has Enjin the Great slain today?"

***

"Haha! Look at all that energy."

That kid that fell from the sky sure was interesting! Enjin's right as always, watching, grinning from his view up above as he watches absolute havoc gets wrecked upon his captors, swinging the chain around like mad. Man, it was powerful.

Two of the men rush forward in a futile attempt to subdue the kid, but Enjin's attention is transfixed on the one that's staying behind, cowering behind their howling leader. Odd, really odd, because they're wearing a mask and seem familiar...if he had a minute to think he could work out where Enjin had seen them before, certainly-

"Kill that little shit! Why are you still here?!" The one with the bitten finger yanked the mask off their face and struck them hard, hard enough to twist their head and cause a nosebleed. "You're a Giver, aren't you?! Do something!"

She drags a hand across her bloodstained face, nodding fearfully, before scrambling to her feet and launching an attack with her own jinki.

Enjin nearly falls off in surprise. What the hell are you doing here?!

Obeying the orders of some lowly human traffickers, no less, reluctantly using your Giver powers to protect and attack and defend? Have them screaming at you and be threatened?

How long, exactly, had this been happening under his nose?

Everything about her makes sense, suddenly - but he'll deal with it later, because right now -

"Whoa, for real?!"

"He can use more than one object?!"

They're all knocked out by the end of it (Enjin wincing when the tyre smashes into her), save for that cursing, son of a nice lady leader. Enjin considered letting the kid take him out as well, in retaliation for hitting her - wait, how long had that been going on? - but with a sigh he made his way down there to stop even more hell being unleashed.

He'll come back for you later, Enjin silently promises as he takes the kid away. Come back for answers and whether she likes it or not, far, far away from whatever secret life she'd been leading.

***

She doesn't show up at the bar for three days and Enjin's starting to really despise the shitty drink.

He's lighting a cigarette when a hand reaches out and snatches it from him, to slide it into her own mouth. "I want one."

"Hey, you're here - damn."

"Something on my face?" She raises an eyebrow, gesturing for her own drink.

"Yeah, a lot. Shit, when did - who did this?"

Enjin grabs her face and tilts it up, gaping at the multiple tiny cuts the bandage on her cheek doesn't cover, at the split lip and bruises. He's an idiot. He should've gone looking for her the moment she didn't show up that night.

She grimaces, trying to pry off his hands. "Hands off, jaw's still sore."

"No shit - you look like you went through hell." Why is she so calm, so casual about this? Like they're just talking about the weather? "Why?"

"Why what?" Her fingers play with the cigarette.

"Don't give me that shit, why? Why didn't you tell me - I was there when you tried to kidnap the Sphereite, you know."

Her eyes widen and the cigarette nearly falls out from shock...shame? "You were? Wondered where the kid went."

What a liar. He can practically hear the prayers in her tone, hope that he hadn't seen her be slapped and pushed around and attempt to attack a-

"Just tell me everything. Please." He tucks a strand away, grazing past a scab. "All those times you wouldn't let me walk you home, those wounds...I should've guessed. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I didn't want you to know." Her gaze trails off behind his shoulder. "There's nothing to tell. I sell Sphereite body parts for a living. There you go."

"Cut the crap. I saw the way he hit you. He's your - right?" Enjin pulls his stool closer to her. "Just out with the truth. I'm not going to - I won't do anything to you, promise."

The cigarette burns out and she crushes it against the counter top. "I didn't know at first. I just got...mixed up in it. If I could, I'd - I'd never have gone back with him."

"Go on. Please."

"He wasn't that bad at first. I found out what they were really doing and I said I wanted out. But Givers are hard to come by and they got very physical about it." She shrugs and looks away, gingerly holding her cheek, other hand drumming fingers on the wood. It's sad - she's not supposed to say all that like they were unchangeable facts or glance at him from the corner of her eye like she expects him to be disgusted any moment.

"Why didn't you tell me? Could've helped you leave. I would've done anything. You just got involved, you're not a bad person. Or stay because you think you deserve it."

It's a little too quiet. She's chewing her lip. "... didn't want you to look at me any different. You're the only - yeah. Coming here is the only thing I've got to look forward to."

"I'd never do that." Enjin shakes his head vehemently. "Only would've made me wanna take you back with me more. Even if I have to practically kidnap and haul your stubborn ass all the way to Cleaner HQ."

"You wouldn't dare." A ghost of smile flits across her face. "I did want to join. I didn't mean to reject you so much, but - you get the idea."

He props up his head with his hand, smirking. "So, you'll join now? Don't worry about them. If anyone comes looking for you they'll have to go through me first, as cliché as that sounds."

"God, you're cheesy." The swat at his face is worth it. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"What about the kid? He's with you, ain't he?"

"You afraid Rudo's gonna hold a grudge?" Enjin briefly considered it. "Absolutely, but it'll be fine. Probably."

"That kid is actually scary - you're taking the heat if anything happens."

"Well, ouch. Hey, does this mean I can finally take you out for dinner or something?"

She jabbed a finger into his cheek. "You're paying. For every date."

"I get more than one?! Great!"

They say the third time's the charm, but maybe thirty two is Enjin's lucky number, because that's when he finally gets to take her back with him.

[song-writer-melo-wrath]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite fighter characters? And what do you like about them?

They can weild any weapon (swords, spears, axes, clubs, knives, bare hands, etc.); they can be of any class or variety of combatant (ones who rely on strength like brawlers or berserkers, ones who use finesse like martial artists or technique masters, ones who balance defensive and offensive equipment like knghts or samurai, etc.); they can be of any race or species (from fantasy or sci-fi); they can even have access to special powers to improve their combat skills (magical, psychic, technological, superpowers, etc.).

What matters is that one of their primary skills, roles in the story, and traits as a character is physical fighting.

“They can wield any weapon-” META KNIGHT META KNIGHT META KNIGHT-

Look at himmmm. He's so goddamn cool. I want to make a 2 hour video explaining the musical motifs of this guy and how they enhance his character arc.

I'll say to put a bit of a limit on things I won't talk about any characters that I've talked about for previous questions of this type. So that said! Karlach, Shadowheart, and Lae'zel!

Karlach being the most classic answer to this sort of question, of course. In my first playthrough I did not fully understand how integral jumping was to the game, so I never got around to recruiting her, and one of my other ongoing playthroughs she has limited presence since I was playing a character who's kinda…well. Anyway. I've been enjoying her in one of my playthroughs, now that I have her.

Shadowheart is a character who could have worked for a previous question, being a cleric and all, but that post felt a bit crowded in terms of magic-users. I still very much love her. She's snarky and goes from goth to cottagecore if you play a certain route. Her arc is beautiful. I feel very gay about her.

Lae'zel. Lae'zelllll. Again, excellent character arc. The way she slowly starts to carve her sense of self, and becomes a more understanding and empathetic person in the process. Or, in another case, the way she's almost unshakingly devoted. She feels very realistic for the environment she grew up in, and I appreciate that she's also a character who gives a lo of lore for the setting.

More fighter Kirby characters who have my whole heart, let's go:

Great personalities for these folks. Great designs too. I am lifting them up to the sunlight like Simba. A lot of fighters in the series have lots of chivalry and loyalty to them. The Meta-Knights take "will go down with the ship" literally. Knuckle Joe is a daddy's boy and full of energy. Sword Knight and Blade Knight are ride-or-die for Meta Knight, and make a great team. Bandanna Dee had a self-sacrifice so moving it brought them from side character to player 2. The three mage sisters are named after their weapons, and I'm glad they're getting a break after being uh…carved out of their religious circle, even after doing all they could to save their cult leader, formerly their kind of father figure? Kirby lore is wild…

Oh, and some Fire Emblem fighters who have my heart and soul:

I love perfectionists who can kick my ass, what can I say.

[sparkledfirecracker]

The summary of this sparked my interest, but I wanted this one saved for today’s purpose. So let’s really kick off masterlist Monday now shall we.

You were tired of having to sit around the drawing room and pretend to be interested in your betrothed’s droning. Was this what your life was going to be like?

What a fucking start 🙌🏼. But no, there is always more to life, but I’m guessing we’ll find that out later.

They seemed like a portal to another land. In a way, you supposed they were, for everyone knew the woods belonged to the beasts.

Oh my dearest, what do these lurking creatures from the darkness of wood and leaves look like👀? And some are high functioning and mingling with the humans. Alright alright.

You couldn't deny her concern. Their bodies were carved works of art, the men just as attractive as the women.

If it wasn’t clear already, I am hooked. 🪝

They taught you that beasts lived freer than humans and women there were just as important and listened to as the men. It was what you wanted for yourself.

A free spirited life beyond the vision of beasts.

Fiancé does sound like a right bore with nothing exciting to offer.

Why couldn’t you be there? There was really no reason you couldn’t be at least for a night.

Take a leap of faith and dance with the devil my dearest. 😈

Soon you came to the edge of the woods, the sun was slowly setting as you crossed into them. It felt as though you had been transported into another world, and your skin tingled as you set your foot down on the hard ground of the woods.

This felt like that one scene in The Lion King, from the sunny happy side falling into the elephant graveyard. It didn’t really go well for Simba and Nala, so how will this end?

Ooh the enchanting forest walkway, grapes should be the forbidden fruit. Don’t eat them sweetheart, step away from the premises.

Turning around wildly you stopped and stared at the handsome Satyr sitting nearby.

Okay, but really, seriously, his description is like a sin itself. So beautifully written, making me want to read so much more and drown in it❤️

Taking advantage of your silence he casually offered, “You know there’s a festival tonight. I was thinking of going by myself, but you look like you could use the fun. How about I take you with?”

Don’t tell me she’s going to be sacrificed to the gods of beasts and creatures.

Also the trust she gives him, so easily and so naturally.

Horn boy can take my hand any day. Also sweetheart dump that fiancé, yet I have feeling you won’t be seeing him anytime soon anyway.

Guiding you to the window he offered you a chair, “Please take a seat. I'll only be a minute.” 

Run sweetheart, I think he is getting his crockpot ready to stir up an offering.

“Please, I insist.” Sitting on the surprisingly firm, yet incredibly comfortable sofa you waited as he poured the warm tea into your cup. “I hope you like it. It’s a local blend so it might taste different than tea you’re used to.” 

Local blend of trippiness. This is giving me so many Alice in Wonderland vibes with a twist of more darkness 😈❤️.

Don’t drink the tea, he’s an evil spawn with herby cocktails. His wicked grin proved that.

As predicted she won’t be leaving anytime soon.

Purring he soothed you with his hands, “Almost there.” 

Guess there is no going back, so just lean back and float in space, let the evil spawn of herbs do his thing 👹

Note to self; go in the forest, explore off the main paths, find a satyr!Ransom. Whatever you do, DO DRINK THE TEA.

Running a finger through your slit he smiled at how wet you were. “You’re going to really love this.”

The part before and after this, like set me on fire already ❤️‍🔥👹.

Chuckling he spoke against your skin, his breath teasing you just as much as his touch. “Please? This isn’t enough for you? My, you’re a needy girl.”

Yes definitely I’d drink the tea, forget everything about running away and not drinking his chosen poison. Drink the tea 🫖

The smut my darling, amazingly written ❤️.

“Maybe I’ll just keep you if your pussy always feels this fucking good. God, can you imagine? Me, having my own little good human to fuck whenever I want. From the moment I saw you I knew you’d be under me. You wanted this, you were just too shy to ask.” 

Burn me on a stake, sacrifice will be all mine 🙌🏼. No leaving, staying…forever, no problem at all.

It had been two weeks now since you lost your innocence to Ransom and yet you still craved him. The memories of that night slowly filled in the days after, flashes of all the ways he took you and the positions he had you in.

Babe, he told you about it and he gave you the warning. So don’t pretend to be surprised, you ran away knowing the consequences you wished not to hear.

That man could be swinging me off trees and I’d happily run back to the beauty forest.

LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼

Did I read this was your first ever fic written? Because you could have fooled me, this was a great way of introducing yourself as a writer.

Damn I’m so excited to see what else you come up with. ❤️‍🔥

I was about to cry and have a complete meltdown, because I almost deleted this entire essay and redo it. So my inner Steve Rogers took it upon herself and get advice from the ever so helpful internet…thanks for reading my TED talk.

Your Deviant Ways

Summary: You’re bored of your fiancé, your home, and your regular, dull life. The more your mother disapproves of venturing out, the more you find yourself wanting to go. Maybe just a little visit to the woods in the night when no one sees. When you end up stumbling into a mysterious stranger, his charm leaves you enamored and curious about what he plans to show you in those dark woods.

Pairing: Satyr!Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.3 K

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Dubious Consent, Sex Pollen, Satyr!Ransom is his own warning

Author’s Note: I have so many people I want to thank!! Most of all I want to thank @whisperlullaby and @river-soul for betaing and being my cheerleaders. I want to thank the Knob Lickers discord group for encouraging me and inspiring me to write. I also want to thank @slothspaghettiwrites for coming up with this concept and letting me run with it!!

You were tired of having to sit around the drawing room and pretend to be interested in your betrothed’s droning. Was this what your life was going to be like? You, sitting pretty and politely pretending to listen to your soon to be husband all the while imagining a life beyond him. Right now you were thinking of the woods near the estate. They seemed like a portal to another land. In a way, you supposed they were, for everyone knew the woods belonged to the beasts. Occasionally a few would come out to trade with the townsfolk at the market, their crafts highly sought after by most. The last time you went there you bought the most delicate and intricate piece of Dryder silk lace you’d ever laid eyes on. You’d seen them less than a handful of times, mostly when you were a young girl. Your mother felt they were too sexual for a growing young woman to view.

You couldn’t deny her concern. Their bodies were carved works of art, the men just as attractive as the women. It was when you were 16 that a young and handsome half orc approached you, after that your mother forbade you from ever going to market again. She had little idea the maids lent you their romance novels, taboo ones filled with human beast relations. They taught you that beasts lived freer than humans and women there were just as important and listened to as the men. It was what you wanted for yourself.

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