#so I really appreciate the continued support despite not being as prolific lately

[purpleneutrino]

any plans for chapter six 🙈 hope all is well in ur personal life <3

Hi anon! Assuming you mean chapter six of Because It’s You, it is written, but I have not finished the illustration for it yet. I had a lot of personal stuff going on this summer and also got really bad art block with that piece. So I decided to leave it for the time being and go back to it later.

Currently I am working on art for the ZoSan Big Bang event that I am taking part in, so after I’m finished with that, I am planning to go back to working on the chapter 6 illustration again!

[maatikikhushboo]

2017 - My Take

So, finally, I am back on TUMBLR after an unreported absence for almost two months. Life had become so consuming: a couple of competitive exams which paved way for my admission into higher studies lasted for almost 3 months and many more important commitments which were just gulping down my whole time and attention. The result - my virtual life had to take a backseat for some time. I was terribly missing this platform and I am glad that ultimately I am able to make it. And I know, I know that I am terribly late for this post, but I had to write this post because 2017 needed a joyous farewell from my side.

I have been watching these shitty Hindi television shows for almost a decade now. Terming them as shitty, somehow, has not been able to terminate my viewership and to my astonishment they continue to be one of my sources of entertainment till date. Despite the availability of Cable TV, as a child, I had an antenna fixed at the terrace of my house. Doordarshan was the only channel which was a primary source of entertainment and infotainment as well. I used to watch Rangoli (which I still do), News, some couple of light hearted shows like Tu Tu Main Main, Shaktimaan, Bongo, crime & thrillers (Aap Beeti, Suraag), Mythology (Om Namah Shivaay), Surabhi, Subah Savere, etc. The channel provided me a whole package. Parents surveillance was not needed to watch TV at that times.

However, after some time, other channels were installed into my television set. We surfed through other options and then found reality shows, CID,KBC, Sa Re Ga Ma and many more shows like Yatra, Shararat, Karishma ka Karishma etc. (I am suffering from a super loss of memory right now, so please pardon me for not listing the shows by their timeline). Slowly, daily soaps came into picture starting from Kasauti Zindagi Kay and all the other stuff (Thank God that I can’t withstand dragging, otherwise I could have been a victim of those shows for years together). I never had patience to watch any of them for years together unless they were worth it. I would watch say only season one or two of a TV show.

As a teenager, I was a nerd and an introvert. However, that didn’t stop me from getting attracted to this fictional cobweb. I was oblivious of the nature of these fictional shows. Fictional shows are inspired from reality but they are not reality. I used to get so attached to the leads and their onscreen chemistry. The mini drama queen inside me used to live those characters and sometimes imagine myself in their shoes and weave stories in my head. If a show’s story didn’t go the way I imagined in my head, or say a couple I shipped didn’t end up in the story or real life, or a person playing a character was not like she really was, I used to get disappointed (LOL). Little did I know that all these were just fictional stints and ratings was the end game. Also, that the onscreen personalities were very much different from the off-screen personalities.

As I grew up, my outlook towards them changed. As a mature individual, I started regarding them as pure entertainment with no strings attached. Meanwhile this transformation, I was experimenting with historical and mythological shows. I found out that the trend was same even for that genres. Yet that didn’t stop me from watching them. It’s just that I stopped getting attached to them. They stopped affecting my real life. Me and my mom, used to discuss these things actively in the past. We both used to sit together and watch serials. Later, my mom realized that it’s useless to spend our valuable time for those shitty shows and now she rather prefers “Arnab shouting on Republic” to daily soaps. (Our past common list includes all the Imagine TV serials, some handpicked ones from Colors, Star, Zee, Sony, 9X, Star One, etc.)

Some would say that I am having a kind of addiction. Addiction is watching the same shows because you must even if the plot is stale, even if you have the option of changing the channel with the remote in your hand, yet you don’t. It becomes a daily routine. That is not the case with me. I only watch the stuff I like and make proper use of my remote! My friends wonder that why am I a sucker for these serials. The answer would be - The heart wants what it wants and my heart needs its dose of fictional shit. I know it would be so insensible of me to speak like this even after mentioning all the side effects about them myself in the above paragraphs of the same post. I love them! It’s not addiction. I guess it’s a manufacturing defect which developed this perennial disease called “eternal love for daily soaps(ELDS)”. I genuinely feel that apart from books, films, TV serials are the ones who perhaps have played a small yet important role in enhancing whatever creativity I have which my parents often deny. Today, I hardly get remote to watch my shows. They prefer channels like EPIC (which even I love watching), SAB TV, News channels, music channels and DD of course!  All thanks to the digital platforms that I catch up my shows *winks*

The bimaari of weaving stories in my head, interpreting characters, their reactions were the things that didn’t change till date. I was and I am greedy for these creative discussions and thus joined India Forums in 2013. Discussions were fun then because there was less reachability through social media. Then slowly, much to my dismay, the platform got filled with full of condescending people. People started taking “freedom of expression” too literally. Social media & Forums have become a place for open fandom wars. I agree that one can express their views openly there. They can appreciate or make fun of the couple or show (because one can’t keep that fictional stuff inside their heart for longer periods of time and that they need to let it out of their chests) without throwing personal insults or severely bashing actors or the creatives. Everyone has their own personal life and job to do. Actors and PH earn their money. But what we get from this biting sarcasm games is headache and irritation. Sometimes, when I see fans desperately asking the creatives, I see a younger version of me in them, who was deceived and dejected, a victim of rating business. That’s why I hardly reside there.

I badly needed a place apart from IF and SM where I could put forth my views openly. And, TADA ! I found that Tumblr was just tailor made for my needs. Thanks a ton, to my friends @cuckoldedbyddlj and @sitaaronkepaar for suggesting me to shift my den to TUMBLR.  2017, I hereby express immense gratitude for being so prolific. You have been so good that I could achieve many milestones in my life. I passed out as a graduate, successfully landed into a good job, scratched that job opportunity and decided to pursue higher studies, got addicted to Smule, watched some decent daily soaps like KRPKAB, got charmed by RiKara only to get detoxified of Ishqbaaaz from my system later, started making GIFs, started watching YUDKBH, and the list is endless. I would love to thank you for proving my stand right that shipping the female lead (protagonist) is always the best thing (Thank God that I never fan followed a male lead/the actor just because of his looks or attitude/character). Lastly, thank you for bringing TUMBLR into my life and giving me small mercies. Thanks to everyone who tolerates the stupid stuff posted on my blog and hits a note for my posts !!!

I wish that 2018 is supportive towards my new resolutions and makes my journey more beautiful. Happy New Year everyone (belated). 

Cheers, L !

[texanredrose]

"Is this a bad time to tell you I'm allergic to bees ?" Monochrome

I couldn’t resist. It’s all in good fun, y'all. It’s all in good fun.

Weiss kept her head down, pretending to focus on the script in her hands while surreptitiously glancing around the set over the lid of her espresso. As always, people were bustling to and fro, setting up for the next scene while the actors took a break, the noise of shouted directions and moving pieces covering the conversations all around her. Most of her co-stars were getting ready for filming to resume, some reading over their lines just like her while others joked around in character.

She shouldn’t say ‘others’ like there was more than one. Although a talented actor in her own right, Yang Xiao Long threw herself into roles a bit too vigorously for Weiss’ tastes, constantly keeping up a loud, boisterous, and downright grating attitude even when the cameras weren’t rolling. The blonde mellowed out considerably once they were away from the set but, even with all the requisite noise for installing a secret lair where an office space was a few minutes prior, she could still hear Yang’s voice rising above the din. Dealing with it on set was easy enough considering they didn’t share many scenes one-on-one and the presence of other characters kept the characters from holding the spotlight but the longer filming went on, the more it bothered her for… other reasons.

Finally, when blue eyes quickly lifted to scan around, Weiss found her co-stars suitably distracted, the director engrossed in yet another argument with the producer, and everyone else too busy with their own tasks to notice if she slipped away. By her estimates, she had ten minutes before she’d be needed on set, and she was going to take them. Leaving her copy of the script and her coffee behind, the woman quickly left the set, ducking behind a scaled down version of the city’s skyline to reach the backlot. Although today’s filming involved most of the major players in the show, a few were notably absent and waiting in their trailers to see if they would be able to get around to other scenes. Which was perfectly fine, Weiss thought with a little smile on her lips as she took another glance around before sneaking into the trailer marked ‘Blake Belladonna’ and locking the door behind her. Her sister would probably scoff at the lengths she took to ensure their relationship remained a secret but Weiss firmly believed their private lives should remain just that.

However… there were some notable downsides.

“Blake, what are you doing?” A frown curled her lips as the mischievous intentions she’d had dried up in the blink of an eye.

Her girlfriend of nearly three years- whom she’d started dating before they were cast in their respective roles- perked up, leaning away from her laptop to twist in her chair and look at her. “Nothing?”

“You’re looking at fanart again,” she said, the accusation holding only a little of the venom she could feel building behind her tongue, stepping up to peer over her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sure enough, the entire screen was filled with depictions of Blake’s character, both in and out of costume. Considering the show itself revolved around the lives of masked superheroes with mundane day jobs, there was a fair mixture of leisurely pictures with varying wardrobes alongside action scenes with the character’s alter ego. Now, normally, she would be completely fine with a little indulgence in vanity- she liked scrolling through fanart of her own character, after all- but this particular search turned up only one specific subset of pictures involving Blake’s character: ones that also featured Yang’s character.

Apparently, fans of the show- as fans often did- placed nearly every character in some romantic relationship or other, regardless if it was depicted in the show or not. And the ones who enjoyed 'shipping’ Blake with Yang? They were certainly… prolific.

“Aw, you’re pouting.” Blake pointed out, getting out of her chair to approach the other woman.

Not that Weiss was making it easy, of course; crossing her arms over her chest, she turned away slightly, tearing her gaze away from the screen. “I am not pouting.”

“Lying doesn’t suit you, Love.” Her girlfriend chuckled, wrapping her arms around the woman’s smaller form. Not only was Blake taller, now she was acting smug as she continued to tease. “Does it really bother you that much?”

“What? Is this a bad time to tell you I’m allergic to 'bees’?” She returned, sparing another short glare at the computer screen. Normally, she’d admit using such a clever term to refer to the fictional relationship between Blake’s and Yang’s characters nothing short of amusing, but years of being confronted with enthusiastic fans gushing over the 'ship’ had soured her perspective.

“Now you’re just being ridiculous.” Blake chuckled, pulling her into a hug despite her reluctance and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You know I only have eyes for you.”

“I know,” she replied, relaxing into her girlfriend’s embrace. It was rather silly, wasn’t it? Getting worked up over other’s perceptions of fictional characters? The frustration was just an irrational response compounded by the discreet nature of their relationship. Perhaps she should just take Winter’s advice and stop trying so hard to keep the paparazzi out of her personal life. It certainly wasn’t doing her any favors. “Maybe we should just go public. Let the tabloids have more than just speculation- something concrete.”

“We could do that, but it won’t stop the fans.” Blake gave her a rueful grin. “We could shout it from the rooftops, put it in the show, and invite everyone to the wedding. Some people will still want to see Yang’s character and mine together in a relationship. That’s their fantasy.” She shrugged. “Why worry about it? I prefer my reality, so let them have their fun. It makes them happy.”

“You’re right.” She conceded with a soft sigh. The woman had a point; the legitimacy of their relationship wouldn’t matter to many. She’d, perhaps, on a few nights when she’d had one too few things to do and one too many drinks in her, dove down the rabbit hole to understand what other people saw in the 'ship’, and many of them had legitimate, positive reasoning behind their support. Who was she to begrudge them that?

“But do you know why I like looking at fanarts like these? The ones with Yang and I together?”

Weiss tilted her head back, looking up into her girlfriend’s smiling face. “No, actually. You’ve never explained your fascination with those other 'ships’.”

“It’s easier to appreciate the artist’s work when I’m not distracted,” Blake replied, leaning down to steal a kiss from her lips, a theft she was only too happy to allow. “If you are in the picture, though. Well, it’s hard to look anywhere else.”

“Now who’s being ridiculous?” She ducked her head, hiding the silly smile that came to her at hearing those words. Somehow, despite all the fawning praise over the years from being on various TV shows and movies, every compliment her girlfriend said seemed absolutely genuine and sincere.

Blake was probably the only person who could truly make her feel special and she loved the woman for it.

“I do like looking at fanart of us, though.” She continued, ignoring the charge laid against her in favor of nodding towards her laptop. “Hit the back button.”

This had all the markings of a trap. A prime opportunity to tease her about something or other but Weiss was willing to play along. Maybe, if she got it all out of her system now, they could enjoy the night once filming finished up for the day.

Reluctantly leaving her girlfriend’s embrace, Weiss stepped over to the laptop and did as requested, expecting the screen to fill with a similar array of pictures, except with her own character taking the place of Yang’s.

She was wrong.

She was very wrong.

“Sometimes, I like to play 'spot the difference’,” Blake said, sliding up behind her as she gawked at the images being displayed. True, this search turned up only the ones including her character and Blake’s, and she didn’t miss the little star icon in the corner identifying the page as a bookmarked favorite. However, they were decidedly… not safe for work, to borrow a phrase, and she’d intentionally avoided searches of this sort for fear of what she might find. Her girlfriend, apparently, had no such reservations. “They can only guess at things I know, and I find it a little… amusing.”

Weiss shivered as the words were whispered into her ear, Blake’s hands resting on her hips for a moment while she pressed into the smaller woman’s back. Blue eyes fluttered shut when a kiss landed just below her ear, prompting another shudder.

“Other times? Well, I have to admit.” She chuckled, fingertips teasing along the hem of her skirt while the other hand slipped under Weiss’ blouse. “They’re rather creative and it gives me… ideas.”

The last word, practically purred out and punctuated with a nip at her ear, destroyed what self restraint she might’ve been capable of dredging up. Weiss turned, hands burying into waves of midnight as she brought their lips together, backing her girlfriend up until they collapsed on the small couch set against the wall of the trailer.

Needless to say, she was late getting back to the set.

Okay, I’m going to admit I’m probably a little bit of an asshole for this, but it’s honestly what occurred to me first and I thought it was just too funny. A little meta commentary on how actors might view the… *ahem* content their fans create is just too tempting to pass up. My mind works in curious ways. Hope you enjoyed!