#so I hope the people at the gig tonight still had an amazing experience even if there were a few arseholes

[glorious-blackout]

Keep seeing posts about people having bad experiences with the crowd at the Käärijä gig tonight and all I can think about is this 😅:

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Inside Babymetal's ambitious new chapter: "there have been times I felt unsure if I could continue"

Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap-clap, “Yon yon!” Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap-clap, “Yon yon!” The chant fills the thick air of the windowless, wood-panelled restaurant as 130 Babymetal fans at an aftershow party raise their glasses and cheer. Some have painted their faces white like Babymetal’s backing musicians, the Kami Band, and many sport official merch or custom t-shirts. All are ecstatic. 

Metal Hammer are in Chiba prefecture, 30 miles east of Tokyo. It’s Sunday January 29, 2023 and we’ve just witnessed the second of two consecutive Babymetal shows at the Makuhari Messe convention centre in the company of 15,000 other fans. As with every Babymetal gig we’ve seen, they were loud, colourful and unlike anything else out there. 

Yet until recently, there was no certainty that a Babymetal performance, or a party like this, would ever happen again. On October 10, 2021 (10/10/2021), following a 10-date series of shows to celebrate 10 years of Babymetal, a mysterious announcement online proclaimed the band had been ‘sealed’. No one knew when or whether they’d return.

Then, exactly a year and a day later, there was another announcement: ‘the seal would finally be lifted’ with a ‘two-day performance’ called Babymetal Returns – The Other One. A concept album, also called The Other One, would follow. Back at the gathering, superfan Susumu – more on him later – says he felt conflicted about the news. 

“I had a mixture of anxiety and anticipation,” he remembers. “Is the Kami Band alive and well? Could they possibly become virtual or a backing track? But on the other hand, I was hopeful that I would be able to see their amazing performance again and experience Babymetal live with my whole body.” 

Later, Babymetal co-vocalist Moametal will explain the reasons behind the duo’s hiatus to Metal Hammer. “It’s been 10 years of purely pushing forward and not looking back in order to achieve Metal Resistance,” she will say. “Taking a breather allowed me to take a step back and really appreciate how much love I have for Babymetal. So, I truly hope our fans understand that being sealed was an essential time for us.” 

Still, other questions remain: What’s the story behind their new album? Will they ever bring in a permanent third member to replace the much-missed Yui, who departed in 2018? And what does their future hold? We’ve come to Tokyo for answers.

Twenty-four hours earlier, we arrive at concrete behemoth Makuhari Messe for show one. In the foyer is a monument bearing the handprints of the wrestling and fencing athletes who won gold medals here during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. With his pink hair, matching pink t-shirt emblazoned with the words ‘Funky Metal Babys’ and oversized yellow glasses, Babymetal fan Kenji resembles 90s UK personality Timmy Mallet. He’s been to more than 20 Babymetal shows. But for his Sanrio rabbit puppet My Melody, it’s the first one. 

Near some lockers, a posse dressed like the Kami Band amasses, in full facepaint and white robes. By a bank of vending machines, we get talking to Uyumetal, who’s wearing cute black satin bows in her hair and sings in tribute band Dizzymetal, which formed in 2015. Why the name Dizzymetal? “We love alcohol! Good songs and drinks make us dizzy!” She laughs and waves her arms around her head, to illustrate her point. 

What does she think will happen tonight? “A big bang! Ha ha ha! Moametal, Su-metal… big bang!” At the guestlist desk, we’re handed a grey and black ‘Savior Mask’ to slip over our plain one. Currently in Japan, masks must be worn when you’re within two metres of someone else, even outside. The good news is that, just yesterday, the government lifted restrictions on concerts, meaning people are now allowed to shout loudly. 

An usher hurries us to our seat, and we watch messages loop on the big screens in each corner of the room. They include: ‘Please wear your Savior Mask at all times’, ‘No smart phones’ and ‘No banners’ – each accompanied by a cute skeleton illustration. The most entertaining ones are ‘No other nuisances’, alongside an image of two side-by-side skeletons getting clonked on the head by a crowd surfer, and ‘No big head costumes’, showing a skeleton wearing an oversized Fox God head. 

At 6.10pm, the lights go out. A video message plays, accompanied by a voiceover: “The time has come for us to unify our voices once again,” it declares. “The Fox Gate is where a new journey begins.” 

Ten figures robed in black march slowly down a central aisle, bathed in blue light, to the suspenseful intro of Metal Kingdom – the first track on The Other One. Each bears a golden staff that looks like an upside-down pair of scissors, two large Os sticking out the top to represent the album title. 

At the head of the aisle, lights illuminate two enormous, stone-grey doors with fox heads carved into them, eyes glowing red. The doors part, and a platform wreathed in dry ice slides out to reveal three ornate thrones: Su-metal sits in the middle, Moametal is to her left… and the other throne is empty.

Moametal walks down the aisle while Su-metal starts to sing, and then she turns to face her bandmate. They end up on either side of a round stage in the middle of the walkway, sweeping and raising intricate tridents, before stepping forwards. Their podium rises. Firework showers detonate along the length of the gangway, causing a ripple of awe. Uyu-metal was right! 

Since Yui left the band, Su and Moa have appeared with one of a revolving cast of dancers, dubbed ‘The Avengers’. This time they’re joined by Momoko, formerly of Babymetal’s previous band, Sakura Gakuin. The trio run through Divine Attack - Shingeki – The Other One’s second song – on the round stage, which by this point has moved to the other end of the venue, in front of another static stage featuring the Kami Band. Still with us? 

During Pa Pa Ya!!, red and orange lights flash as pyro explodes, while the crowd whirl souvenir scarves above their heads like a Japanese version of Skindred’s Newport Helicopter. New Bring Me-inflected song Monochrome begins with a round of gunfire drumming, and the girls are thrown into dramatic light and shade. “Take your phone out!” yells Su. “Turn on your light!” The sight is breathtaking. 

But the most WTF moment comes during upbeat 2013 classic Doki Doki * Morning. Before the song, the words ‘The Other One. In The Metalverse Of Madness’ flash onto screens in the Marvel font. A voiceover says that beyond the Fox Gate, there is a world we can’t even imagine. A parallel world, in which there exists a lifeform beyond comprehension – but are they a threat, or are they a friend? The gate of the new world is about to open…

The girls begin on the round stage, in front of the Kami Band – who, despite being out of the spotlight tonight, are Slipknot levels of thunderous. It glides towards the middle of the room – and then, another round stage sails up to meet it. Another round stage with another Babymetal on it, dressed in the red-and-black colour scheme of their earlier days. They mirror each other’s dancing, collapsing in a heap at the end. It is truly surreal. Then they disappear, as if they were never there.

 There’s one more surprise. After closer The Legend, the Kami Band vanish. In near darkness, on opposite sides of the stage, Su and Moa ascend a flight of stairs, red horizontal strip lights appearing with every step. They pause in front of neon white coffin outlines, and a booming noise rings out like an advert for Dolby surround sound. The lights come up. It’s only 7.30pm, but it feels like we’ve been inside their Metalverse for hours.

The next afternoon, several hundred Babymetal fans assemble for a group photo on a staircase outside Makuhari Messe. Tipped off by a Tweet from ChiyoMetal, owner of a Fox God-themed bar in Tokyo’s bustling Shinjuku, we’ve come to take a look.

One of the fans on the staircase is Ukky, an engineer from Kawasaki, an hour and a half away. Ukky has been a Babymetal fan “for about five or six years”. He’s wearing a new Babymetal hoodie and holding a purple puppet of the Kami Band’s Ohmura Takayoshi. Impressively, it plays a pink guitar. It turns out he built it himself. “This took about a month to make,” he says with a smile. “First I bought a book about how to make a puppet, and then I made the guitar with a 3D printer.” 

Ukky is part of a Facebook group called Bokuchi-kai. They’re having an aftershow meet-up at a nearby izakaya – a type of informal restaurant, where groups of friends or colleagues meet to let loose – but he can’t attend, because he has to get home to his family. Can we go to the meet-up? He smiles and says he thinks it’ll be OK, but he’ll have to ask his Leader. We exchange email addresses, and he takes a selfie with us as proof of identity. Then, we wait. 

At 5pm, show two begins. This time, we notice more details. The new songs are mid-paced and mature, with choreography to match – there’s a greater emphasis on hand gestures, rather than frantic jumps or exaggerated facial expressions, making the likes of Gimme Chocolate!! seem sweetly ironic. It’s not surprising, given Su is now 25 and Moa is 23. Later, Su will tell us that Divine Attack - Shingeki is the first song she’s written lyrics for. 

“From here, a new journey begins once again. It is a song about our determination to pave another path,” she will say mysteriously. The audience are rowdier, too, perhaps now accustomed to shouting behind their masks. 

Although there’s a special ‘Silent Mosh’sh Pit’ area for people who have children or just don’t want to get pushed around, the regular pit goes off for Headbangeeeeerrrrr!!!!! with its ‘dogeza headbanging’, where people fall to their knees and bow. 

It’s pretty much the same show as last night, but, because this is Babymetal, there’s one final reveal. Fox Day – April 1 – will bring a new stage for Babymetal, “together with a departure into a new world”. 

Two more shows are announced, for April 1 and 2 at Yokohama’s Pia Arena. Then, Su-metal and Moametal advance to their coffins like before. But this time, a third coffin appears in the middle, together with an unknown third person, their back to the audience. The atmosphere is electric.

The venue is emptying, and from backstage we can hear Bury Tomorrow’s Earthbound blasting over the PA. A rep from Amuse, Babymetal’s management company, appears with Su and Moa. They are still in their costumes, their holographic neck-pieces shining brightly under the harsh lighting. We congratulate them on the shows – so much energy! – and they say ‘thank you’, eyes smiling above white masks. 

The Amuse rep asks if we noticed anything different about tonight’s show. Yes, we say – there was a third coffin! And a third member! But who is it? “Only the Fox God knows!” they giggle in unison. Well, it was worth a shot… We ask about the hiatus. The band were only gone for a year, and during that time, they obviously worked on fourth album The Other One. Yet, with a question mark hanging over their future, it felt like much longer for fans. Was there any doubt about the band continuing? 

“I love Babymetal. I love our team, I love our fans more than anything, and everyone at Metal Hammer,” says Moa. “But to be honest, there have been times when I felt unsure if I could continue or not. Words or attitude without any love will hurt people. There were times when no matter how much I put into performing, I felt as if I was not loved. 

“At that moment in time, someone at Metal Hammer said, ‘Your dancing is incredible! I can’t imagine Babymetal without the dance component!’ I felt so happy to hear and  Su-metal and Moametal perform with Momoko – one of their ‘Avengers’ realise that people notice my dancing. Being commended is always a great feeling, and as I’m saying this, I realise I’m so basic, aren’t I? Ha ha!” 

We ask for more details about why she felt she wasn’t loved, but none are forthcoming – though when musicians express sentiments like this, it’s often related to unkind commentators online. Moving on to The Other One, we try to uncover more about the concept. 

“It’s about Babymetal’s other story in which 10 parallel worlds were discovered,” says Su. “All 10 tracks are based on myths, and each track represents a myth.” 

The myths are drawn from many countries, not just Japan, and the 10 worlds are called Cavalry, Illusions, Coffin, Inverted Mirror Reflection, Monochrome, Smoke, Light And Darkness, Transition, Mirror and Throne. 

In October 2021, back when the band was ‘sealed’, a new piece of merch called Black Box was released, featuring postcards of the band depicted in these parallel worlds, plus online access to snippets of unreleased music. These snippets were then ‘restored’ to become the songs on The Other One. No doubt we’ll spend hours trying to make sense of the concept. 

“It’s a bit difficult, isn’t it?” smiles Moa. “To put it simply, it’s like Babymetal existing in a world separate from the one we see now. And I think the title points to that ‘other’ Babymetal that exists in a parallel universe.” 

When we ask who was in the alternative Babymetal during Doki Doki * Morning, we don’t get an answer… Babymetal founder/producer/Fox God emissary Kobametal materialises. It took him two-three months to think up the production for these comeback shows, he explains. Once he had the idea for the symbol for The Other One – two interlinking Os that represent the infinity symbol – it came to him quickly, and he’s already planning for April. 

The trio thank us for coming, and present us with a gift bag containing a t-shirt and a transparent coffin keyring. We wave goodbye and leave them to a well-earned rest.

Back in the foyer of Makuhari Messe, we check our inbox. There’s an email from Ukky about the aftershow get-together, containing the address of the restaurant: Inawaraya Kaihin-makuhariten, on the first floor of the Excellio Makuhari shopping mall, a 20-minute walk down Chiba’s wide, immaculate streets. The Leader has approved our request. 

When we arrive at the door, a stern-looking man in a Babymetal t-shirt is sitting behind a wooden table with some papers attached to a clipboard – presumably a guestlist – and he won’t let us in. After several minutes of back and forth, he goes inside, and returns with a man wearing a name badge that says ‘Vins Metal’. 

“Metal Hammer?” We nod, and he opens the door. Vins Metal introduces us to the Leader – Susumu. Grinning from ear to ear, he leads us up the room and yells, “METAL HAMMER!” In response, everyone rises and cheers “METAL HAMMER!”, some standing on their seats and others filming us on their phones. 

Susumu grabs hold of Hiroshi, a 74-year-old senior research assistant at Virginia Tech in the US, who’s fluent in English. He waves his arm, and everyone sitting along the side of his table immediately gets up, abandoning their food and drinks to make way for us. We remove our shoes and take a seat. 

Susumu discovered Babymetal after his son showed him the video for Akatsuki, but when he went to see the band by himself, he felt lonely and walked out. Back then, you often had to apply for VIP tickets via a lottery, meaning many people ended up in the same position. Plus, he admits, many have wives and girlfriends who don’t like Babymetal, and aren’t interested in seeing them live. 

In Japanese, a ‘bochi’ is a person who attends a gig alone, so the Facebook group he formed in 2018 is called ‘Bokuchi-kai’, meaning ‘The lonely fox’. It has 940 members.

What does his own wife think of the group? Susumu lets out a long laugh, and Hiroshi interprets. “Disgusted? No, actually, it’s a very difficult word in Japanese, because it’s a combination of ‘disgusted’ plus ‘I’ve given up’! He’s already paid 10,000 Euros ahead of time for tonight, so if nobody came, he’d be short. And he says, keep it a secret, because his wife doesn’t know about it! Ha ha!” 

Luckily, the izakaya is packed. A stream of excitable members come over for selfies, and present us with homemade gifts. Mota-Metal hands us a sticker that riffs on the Red Hot Chili Peppers logo, and KIMI3 gives us a wooden keyring with a shiny golden fox head attached, plus a phone charm depicting Su-metal and Moametal on their thrones. 

Minako-Metal gifts us a sticker of herself, and thanks us for including a photo of her and her friends dressed as the Kami Band in our last Babymetal feature. Periodically, the chant from 4 no Uta breaks out: clapclap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap-clap, “Yon yon!” 

When the night’s over, we gather outside for photos. As we thank Susumu for his hospitality, he pumps his fist in the air and yells ‘METAL HAMMER!’ some more, and everyone follows his cue. We respond with a Babymetalstyle “See youuuuu!” And the group choruses “See youuuu!” and waves goodbye.

These gigs, and the imminent release of The Other One, mark a major new chapter in the Babymetal story. Since their initial burst of virality in 2014, they have been working towards establishing themselves as a bona fide metal band with staying power. 

If second album Metal Resistance capitalised on their newfound fame, and 2019’s Metal Galaxy cemented it with collaborators such as Sabaton’s Joakim Brodén and Arch Enemy’s Alissa White-Gluz, The Other One feels like a sleeker, more grown-up statement about Babymetal in 2023. Or Babymetal and their interdimensional counterparts, to be exact. 

“The theme this time around was The Other One – the other Babymetal we never knew existed. Therefore, this concept album needed to be comprised only of us,” says Moametal. “Although no guest singers were involved, now that I think about it, since we’re exploring the Babymetal from another dimension we never knew existed, maybe we are the guest singers!” 

The girls still have ambitions to fulfil. Su-metal would like to collaborate with Bring Me The Horizon again, and Rammstein – “It would be so cool to blow fire!”. 

Moametal’s are more… unexpected. “Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to the Backstreet Boys and we spoke about how we would love to perform together,” she reveals. “I think it would be so fun and interesting to go beyond genres and collaborate with them. Also, I would love to collaborate with Måneskin. I was surprised to hear that they were actually younger than us, because I totally thought they were older than me. But us both being in the same generation, I feel so inspired and also motivated.” 

In turn, Babymetal have paved the way for the next generation. Later this week, we go for dinner with rising metallers Hanabie. With a song called We Love Sweets and an immense sense of fun, singer Yukina cites them as an influence. 

“I feel honoured that a Japanese band like us is getting a lot of attention,” says Su-metal. “I would love to be onstage with them one day.” 

As for the immediate future, the third member (Momoko? Yui?!), and the parallel-universe (Doki Doki * Morning Babymetal?) All we can do is cross our kitsunes and hope for more intel on Fox Day. 

“Babymetal is constantly growing and evolving, and I believe change is always good,” says Moametal. “At times, I want to be a bit lazy and slack off, but when I think about your radiant smiles, I know I need to shake it off and do my best! Even while I am being interviewed right now, I am growing, so I don’t want you to miss a single second of it. Please keep your eyes on us, OK?”

Babymetal's new album The Other One is out now.

[chaoslaura]

General 23 “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” For Willex thank you ☺️👻

Read it on AO3

This is my first work for Willex, I hope you like it.

Willie had been sitting in on more than one rehearsal after Alex asked him if he wanted to watch them practice. And how on earth could Willie say no to such a question? Watching his boyfriend wailing on the drums in his sweaty Shirt was more entertaining than leading on some policemen on the hunt for misfits. Skateboarding and mischief were Willie’s content of life but after he met Alex those fateful months ago his afterlife was turned upside down and a few more aspects of his ghost life changed.

And one was watching the band his boyfriend was in playing through their setlist for another gig that was coming up next week. Flynn had scored it for them after she announced herself as their social media manager with no complaint from the boys, because, bless their hearts, they had no idea what that entailed or even meant in the slightest. Flynn tried to explain to them what she was doing online to raise their notoriety but it got out of hand when after two hours she didn’t make much progress besides averting Reggie’s attention from the puppy pics he saw on her timeline, answering Luke’s endless question because he was the only one who was really interested in the whole process (we could’ve been so famous back then guys if that instadiagram already existed!), and snapping her fingers in Alex’s face because he wasn’t listening again in favour of skipping through a magazine.

Julie agreed on Flynn’s job from the beginning, happy she could include her best friend in her new found life, after their had a rocky start when Julie didn’t spill her ghostly band secret, but now the two of them were going stronger than ever and Willie found himself often sitting beside Flynn on the couch while listening to the band practice and helping Flynn making posts or record videos of them.

Honestly Willie still couldn’t grasp the fact that he scored a boyfriend that amazing. Not even when he was alive, but especially after he died, he lost hope of ever finding someone so special, but Alex filled that spot so effortlessly, he didn’t have to do anything or make any effort beside existing and Willie was content with the way his afterlife was coming along.

After months of spending little moments together, going on more than one date, to evade the chaos of the band that came on whenever the boys were unsupervised for too long, Willie was confident in himself to say he knew Alex pretty well. So, he was sure that Alex wasn’t giving his everything while drumming his beat to this particular song. It was prominent as soon as they started with the first song, the nervous energy still emanating from Alex, that normally disappeared after the first two songs when Alex let it all out.

But Willie still clapped proudly when they finished their setlist, only Luke didn’t look fully satisfied, reminding them again of their upcoming gig, but without looking directly in anyone’s faces and Willie knew he did it to not put Alex under more pressure than necessary.

They were all aware of the importance of the gig with music recs being present to examine and judge the playing bands, and that it was their chance to score a label, the moment they were all working for for more than 4 years. Well, that was the case for the boys anyhow, but even Julie had been working hard after she rediscovered the power of her voice. Her dad had been wary of it first, stating it was all going too fast, concerned if Julie could make it, but after reassuring her dad that it was really her dream (and that her last year of school wouldn’t be neglected) Ray had been fully supporting her. Recording more performance for YouTube and that was what helped them along with Flynn to be able to perform next week.

It seemed as if that was the only topic the guys and girls could talk about in the studio, at school, in Julie’s room, or in the kitchen when Reggie talked to Ray. Alex seemed elevated at first too, not as much as Luke maybe was, but he too understood the importance and that was maybe where the problem was coming from.

At first Willie thought Alex was just nervous as he was before any of their gigs, afraid to lose the rhythm or not getting the beat right, even though that happened so rarely it shouldn’t be a concern at all. But as the gig came nearer and nearer and his sticks had to hold more pressure from Alex’s hands that he wrung around them in a tight grip till his knuckles were white, Willie realized it wasn’t just normal nervousness or stage fright.

Alex was tapping a beat on his leg where he was sitting on the sofa in the green room, nose scrunched up the way he did when he was thinking about something unpleasant, and Willie was carefully taking a seat next to him to not startle him. The last thing Willie wanted was for Alex to have a panic attack and it seemed he was already on his way there from what he was seeing. Slowly Willie laid a hand on Alex leg but not giving in to his urge to hug his boyfriend. Alex could feel crowded when having a person to be so close to him when he needed much more air to fill his lungs and that couldn’t work with arms around his ribs.

But when Alex didn’t acknowledge the hand on his thigh even Willie got restless. Normally Luke and Reggie were the best option to calm Alex down, having enough experience to know the right way to do it but Willie was so new to everything, he was afraid to do something wrong and only making the whole situation worse. Even though Alex reassured him several times that Willie was in no position to do that, contrary he helped him feeling grounded. But Willie was having trouble to believe that when he saw Alex in a state like this.

Unfortunately, the other guys and Julie were out. Reggie and Luke accompanying Julie while she was out getting food, hanging on her phone to not raise suspicion of her craziness at speaking with air. Flynn was out in the crowd, mingling with the people, so Willie found himself alone and with no idea when the boys would be back. Could be the next minute or next thirty minutes and until then Willie should’ve helped his boyfriend or he would be a very bad exemplar of a friend, he thought.

“Alex, hey.” Willie tried to gain Alex’ attention and moved his face in front of him to snap Alex out of his stupor.

It seemed to work as Alex eyes focused on him now and a small smile formed on his lips. “Oh hey Willie. Since when are you here?”

“Just a few minutes. The others are out, but they could be back any minute.”

“Okay, good.”

“Are you good though?” Willie nodded to Alex bouncing leg to indicate what he meant.

Alex was following his gaze and was apparently only now realizing that his limbs had a life on their own and tried to stop the nervous movement, only to start kneading the material of his fanny pack.

Willie took Alex hand in his and squeezed it once to say he was here, they always did it to let Alex know Willie wasn’t going anywhere and Alex could talk to him. Willie hoped it was working because there was clearly something going on and he would rather Alex talked to him before letting his thoughts spiral too much.

“You seem more nervous than usual. I’m sure the gig will be great, you guys are always great, especially you hotdog.” He added with a wink. Sometimes him saying something ridiculous interrupted Alex train of thought just like Reggie saying something stupid and repeating facts wrong did.

“I’m good, don’t worry.” Alex pressed out and both knew it wasn’t the truth.

“Oh, I’m not worrying about you. I’m worrying about the rest of your band when you play so well that the big guys only want you and Luke will be crushed.” Observing Alex demeanour that must have hit it on the head.

“Doubt, that will happen.”

“What? You playing good or Luke being devasted over not getting a record deal?”

“The first.” Alex admitted while his gaze was locked on the floor, only Willie looking at his boyfriend and seeing how upset he was over it.

“But you’re always amazing, what makes you think today will be an exception?” Sometimes it was hard to get behind Alex thought process when the only things he could think about were worst case scenarios.

“Just- Okay, I know I’m good, otherwise Luke would’ve never let me play in in the band no matter how great of a friends we were. But I’m not as amazing as you always say, I’m not perfect, and today has to be perfect. Luke was saying that every day of the last week and we all now how important the evening is to the band and I know Ray has been planning a surprise party for Julie and she would be so happy. But what if I fuck something up and ruin the whole song or every song and we won’t get the deal, and Julie’s dad will be so disappointed in her, and Luke will hate me forever because that is his dream and I will be to blame for shattering it and then Reggie will take his side because Luke is his favourite friend, and fuck-“ Alex now had his hands in his hair and was pulling on some strands before Willie took one of them in his hand again to stop Alex and pull him back to reality, now after he was finished rambling.

With his other hand Willie carefully cupped Alex chin and turned his head in his direction so he could look him straight into his eyes. He needed to get this message across and into Alex thick scull. “Hey, look at me Alex. Focus on me alright? Try to fade out this evening for one second okay? It’s just the two of us on this couch. First of all, your friends love you. Luke could never hate you. Whatever happens tonight, Luke and the others have your back and they won’t ever throw you out of the band or will be disappointed in you, neither would be Ray if he could see or talk to you. And Reggie doesn’t have a favourite. You may not see it, but he latches on to you whenever you appear and knows how much you love him behind your sarcastic comments. The same applies for Julie. You’re right, this evening is important, but your wellbeing is even more important and neither of us want you to blame yourself for whatever may go wrong. No band is perfect even though you guys get pretty close to that. And if tonight is not working out the way you all wanted it to then there’s a next time. We have eternity and Julie is still young. Okay?”

Alex nodded slowly like he still needed to process the words.

“Can I give you a hug or do you want some space?” Willie asked, interlacing his fingers with Alex.

“No, it’s okay.” And that was all Willie needed to hear before he tugged Alex head underneath his chin as it was normally the other way around with Alex being taller than him. One hand was going under Alex hoodie to rub small circles onto his back and the other into his hair to get him as close as possible.

“Thanks Willie.” Alex mumbled from his spot into Willie’s shirt, but Willie could hear the words clearly and gave Alex a kiss on the crown of his hair. “No problem, hotdog.”

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 13

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, slight smut

; Word Count: 4.6k

; Warnings: Anxiety, low self-esteem, discussions of sex, mention of (f) oral sex, sexual anxiety

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: I hope you all enjoy this! As usual, if you do...please reblog and leave me a comment! Or send me an ask letting me know your thoughts, I’m glad you’re all loving Flower!Hobi!

; Flower Masterpost

-

Staring at your computer screen, a deep sigh leaves you as yet another email notification pops up in the corner. Clicking on it with as much enthusiasm as you’d give towards picking up a slug, you watch as it directs you back to Outlook and brings up the email. It was from your boss, who was literally sat across the small room from you, asking you to call a client and check whether they were still available for a meeting tomorrow.

Pursing your lips, you bring up her previous email that includes the client’s contact details and input their number into your work phone. Holding the phone between your cheek and shoulder, you tap your pen against your mouse as the dial tone fills your ear.

You really hated your job. 26-years-old, with a degree and you were just stuck doing the work people better paid than you didn’t want to do. Chewing on your lip, you contemplated looking at the list of job sites you’d begun to frequent lately, wondering whether or not you should apply for a new job.

The prospect of a job you actually loved and enjoyed was so foreign to you that it felt almost like a mythical unicorn right now, but you knew they existed. Hoseok loved his job, despite how everyone berated IT departments in every company. So you knew that there was something out there for you. 

But what was it? And how could you get it when you had no relevant experience in...well anything except for the modern day equivalent of pen pushing? Some days you were rushed off your feet doing everything for your boss, acting like a secretary, personal assistant and administrative assistant all at once.

Getting tea and coffee for work meetings, sitting in and taking notes, writing up meeting notes and distributing them, arranging meetings and visits and so much more. It was all boring and dull. The very idea of doing this for the rest of your life was simply unimaginable but you just...couldn’t get the courage to put yourself out there and apply for something better.

You were afraid of rejection and you were even more afraid of getting accepted for a job and then finding out you couldn’t do it. 

Almost without even thinking, you talk through with the client and make sure that they’re still okay for the meeting that was prepared for tomorrow. As soon as the phone clicks back into the cradle, you’re opening a response to your boss and sending her a quick email to let her know that it’s still on and that you’ve checked the room is still booked for them.

And then you just sit there a moment, staring at the screen and wondering what to do next. You had some menial tasks that needed to be done; photocopying documents for their meeting, forwarding invoices and so forth. But you just didn’t want to do any of it. 

That was nothing new though, you never wanted to do anything at work.

A sudden flash of colour out of the corner of your eye catches your attention and look over to where your phone lay on the desk, just above your keyboard. One of the only good things about this place was that no one complained about phones being used as long as you were doing your work too.

And the green that lights up the screen can only mean that someone has sent you a message on WhatsApp. Licking your lips, you glance up at your boss before unlocking your phone quickly and clicking onto the app. 

Upon seeing Hoseok’s name your grin turns even broader, feeling a little better already. He didn’t often text during the work day, often being far too busy to waste time on texting. Unlike you, he was permanently busy.

Hoseok [13:38pm]: Guess who got promoted?

Hoseok [13:38pm]: It’s me! I got promoted :D

Smiling even wider, you quickly texted back as pride fills your chest. Amazing how you’ve only been dating for four months yet you feel so happy and proud of him already. You’d known that he had a meeting today with his managers and he’d been a little worried, unsure whether or not they were going to be laying people off or not.

Y/N [13:39pm]: Yaaaaaaaaay. Can you boss people around now?

Hoseok [13:40pm]: I already boss people around

Hoseok [13:40pm]: Now I just have another department to boss...and more money :D

Y/N [13:41pm]: I is jealouz

Y/N [13:41pm]: (;﹏;)

Hoseok [13:42pm]: I still can’t get over how you text sometimes, honestly

Hoseok [13:42pm]: ANYWAY, it’s more money to spend on youuu :D and Kasumi

Y/N [13:43pm]: Hush, more money for you to spend on gigs

Hoseok [13:43pm]: :O don’t tell me how to spend my money >:[

And then you get a photo sent. Your phone’s setting means that you need to accept it before it downloads, image pixelated at first before becoming high quality. Clicking on it again, you frown momentarily before your eyes widen and your throat goes strangely dry suddenly.

He’s in an all black suit; black jacket, a silk black shirt and a skinny black tie to compliment it all off. It makes the hint of tattoos you can see pop vividly with their colours over the top of his shirt collar and the bit of wrist you can see on the hand that’s pointing at the camera. And it all complements his dark hair wonderfully, today actually styled properly and pushed up elegantly to reveal his forehead and let the astonishing beauty of his face be seen properly.

His face though, isn’t the pure sex his body is emanating. Instead, he’s got a comical expression in which his face is scrunched together, lips pursed in faux anger to go with his last text. But you don’t care, you can’t care.

Hoseok in a suit is...oh god. It’s everything, and you feel things for him suddenly that you’ve never really felt for anyone before from just seeing a picture. You...want to do things to him, right now. 

The strength of your reaction actually makes you pause, looking up from your phone as you assess yourself to try and comprehend what you feel. And what you wanted was for Hoseok to send you a serious photo of him looking like that.

Y/N [13:49pm]: You’re in a suit?

Hoseok [13:50pm]: Yeah, manager meeting

Y/N [13:55pm]: Can you...send a serious picture?

Hoseok [13:56pm]: ...you want another selfie of me?

Y/N [14:00pm]: I mean...you don’t have to

And then you get another photo sent through, causing you to swallow thickly as you download it. You end up biting your lip harshly as you try to stop yourself from making any kind of noise out loud. No one had noticed that you hadn’t done a lot of work in the last fifteen minutes, but they would notice if you made the kind of noise that wanted to erupt from your throat.

Hoseok had evidently known where your thoughts had gone from your awkward text back to him, and he’d pulled out all the stops for you. Part of you wondered where on Earth he was that he could take pictures like this without getting strange looks from his colleagues but an overriding part of you didn’t care.

Because holy shit, your boyfriend was ridiculously fucking attractive and how in the hell had you pulled him?

This photo has him in almost the same angle, only two of his fingers frame the pink tongue that pokes out of his mouth, white teeth pressing against the back of his tongue ring while his eyes are dark with intent. There’s no playfulness in this picture, at least nothing that could be done in public. 

No indeed and you squirm slightly in your seat, contemplating the wild fact that you were horny at work. This has never happened before and you didn’t really know that to do! But how could you not be? The way Hoseok was looking at the camera was the exact way he’d looked at you all three times he’d gone down on you so far.

And he knew it, given his suggestive pose with his tongue. In fact, you’re suddenly sent back to last week when he’d gone down on you in bed. You still weren’t even remotely comfortable asking him to do anything like that yet, but apparently he’d been wanting to so you’d shyly agreed once more.

Not that you were opposed to it or anything.

But those eyes he was giving the camera are the exact same he gave you from between your legs. And that just was not fair, because what were you supposed to do about this in the middle of work? You had just under three hours left to work before you left and he wouldn’t even finish till six.

Y/N [14:07pm]: Handsome

Y/N [14:08pm]: Are you still staying over?

Hoseok [14:10pm]: That’s all you gotta say to that, you wound me. And yes, be around 7

Y/N [14:11pm]: <33

Putting your phone down, you stare at your computer screen that has gotten three new email notifications since you got distracted. You don’t click on them though...instead you just chew on your lip, tapping your fingertips against the desk slowly as you think.

Maybe tonight...maybe…

-

The quick rapping on the door lets you know that Hoseok is finally here, half an hour late. Opening the door to him, you don't even get a chance to say anything as he brushes past you, kicking his shoes off and apologising profusely.

"I'm sorry, they kept me an extra half an hour 'cos some idiot basically broke his laptop and then there was traffic so I haven't been able to go back and change." He's taking his coat off, hanging it up on the little rack on the wall before looking at you and letting out a deep sigh.

"Oh I'm so glad to be home. Today has been so fucking stressful, maybe I should have turned down that promotion and it’s not even been a full day." You don't even get time to consider the fact that he just called your place home because he's suddenly leaning forward, giving you a quick kiss before moving into the kitchen.

Watching after him, you simply stare in bewilderment. You're not entirely sure that you could speak right now, hit by the double whammy of his slip of the tongue and his clothes.

It was true that Hoseok had pretty much spent the last month near enough living at your place, only going home a day or two a week but you hadn't realised he'd felt that comfortable here. You felt a shy warm happiness bubble in your chest at the thought though, looking down at your hands as you bite your lip to stop smiling like a little girl.

But what really turns you into an excitable mess is his outfit. He's still wearing the suit from earlier, his hair tousled from where he'd obviously been running his hands through it in the stress of his work.

And if he'd looked hot in his photos, he looked damn near sinful in person.

Which is why you simply watch him with wide eyes, moving into the kitchen slowly and resting a hip against one of the counters as he peers into the slow cooker that you'd set up this morning before going to work. It was just a simple beef stew with a hint of red wine, the scent delicious but you found that wasn't what was making your mouth water.

Not tonight.

"So...I didn't...know you had a suit like that." The words are incredibly stilted, sounding unbelievably awkward in your mouth and you inwardly cringe. Particularly when you see Hoseok stiffen, ever so slightly beneath the delightful black fabric that outlines his lithe body beautifully.

You knew that Hoseok had been incredibly patient with you. Probably more patient than most men would have been, not even slightly pushing you and making sure that you are completely comfortable with every moment. He didn't ask for much and you often felt bad that he seemed to give up so much in exchange for the eternal patience he gave to you. 

But he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to thrive on what little advancement in your relationship he could get. You still got shy when he gave you oral obviously, but you were far more eager to say yes compared to the beginning.

And tonight...tonight you wanted to finally let him get the pleasure he’d willingly denied himself to keep you comfortable. Especially when he looked like that.

It wasn't just a 'giving him a good time' too because you like him, a lot, but also because quite simply...for the first time ever...you wanted to have sex with someone. You desperately wanted to find out what he felt like inside you. Feel him thrusting within you and in turn explore him to find out what made him jerk, made him twitch and made him moan.

Oh god yes, you wanted to hear him moan. The very idea of him making those kinds of noises because of you was intoxicating and you squeeze your thighs together, fully in the knowledge that you were probably wet already. 

You have no doubt that Hoseok can tell there’s something different, an unusual kind of tension in the air as he turns around slowly, brow raised. Glancing away, you find yourself playing with the label of a Coke bottle on the side, fingers picking until it came away.

Part of you wanted to be brash and forward, boldly tell him what you wanted but as soon as you consider doing it, it felt like an iron band wrapped around your lungs. Breathing was made a lot of harder suddenly and you couldn’t get any words out, your limbs feeling cold and tingly with nerves and anxiety.

Oh how you wished desperately that you could be a bolder person because you just knew that you weren’t at that level of confidence yet with him. Even if you felt no expectations from him. You just weren’t there, and that’s why you were hoping he’d understand and take the lead once more. 

And Jung Hoseok, your wonderful boyfriend who you still believe is far too good for you, does so. You have no idea how he knows that you want to do more than cuddle or talk, no idea how he can tell that you’re struggling to get across your desires but he does.

He smiles slowly, the corners of his lips turning up in a smirk at first before turning into that beautiful smile that makes your heart flutter. Moving slowly, he walked over to you and you press yourself into the counter, eyes widening as you took in the long and loping stride.

Without so much as a word, he stands firmly in front of you, leaning forward just enough to place his arms on the counter, trapping you between them. You can feel the heat of him, the way his leg’s brush against yours with how close he is and the way his jacket slides along your stomach slightly. Combined with the fresh scent that was so unique to Hoseok and the dark look in his eyes, you felt completely overwhelmed by him.

Overwhelmed, in the best way possible.

Leaning down, Hoseok moves close enough until you feel the tip of his nose brushing against yours, the movement deceptively soft given the sexual tension that’s so thick between you both. Biting your lip, you force yourself to remain quiet to see what he does.

“I have more suits than you might realise baby. Why? Do you like it?” His voice is annoyingly light, innocence laced into every syllable that matches his perfect, angelic face too well. Smiling, his eyes widen ever so slightly as he waits for an answer but before you can even say anything, his arms move a little and you feel them pressing against your waist.

“Y-yeah, it...it looks good.” You stutter out, body heating rapidly as you lick at your lips, mouth absurdly dry. And before even realising...you’re pressing your face against his black shirt, feeling the soft silky material rub at your cheek while all you can think of is what the firm chest beneath it looks like.

Hoseok seems to pause for a moment before his hands move to rest on your hips, hesitantly stroking along them. Almost instantly you cringe forward, the feel of his hands so foreign and a subtle panic rushes through you as your mind screams at where he’s touching. The place you dislike on yourself, the place society has taught you isn’t beautiful.

But he touches you with so much care, light and gentle. He doesn’t push further with you, simply let the moment hold despite how tense you both are. You know what he’s doing, instinctively understand because he’s done this your whole relationship so far. He’s letting you get used to him, decide whether or not you feel comfortable with what he’s doing...what he’s offering.

Pressing your ear to his chest, you close your eyes and inhale deeply, shakily as you fight the demons of insecurity over yourself and your previous sexual experiences. Originally, you’d considered perhaps returning the favour to him and giving him oral sex. But now, hearing the strong beat of his heart and the warmth that has comforted you for many nights now...now you want more.

So you let him know, in that quiet and shy method that he must have become so used to. Your own hands tremble slightly as you move your head back just enough before you press them to his chest, hesitantly just letting yourself feel him like this for the first time. And then your fingers move to his collar, the top two buttons already undone.

Finally, finally you glance up at him, feeling unbelievably frightened that he might push you away, decided he didn’t want it. Didn’t want you. 

It had been years since you’d done anything...you knew this and he knew this by now. But you knew that he was far more experienced, so experienced in fact that it scares you a little. You felt like you’d be judged against others and found wanting, even if you knew that Hoseok wouldn’t do that.

“Hoseok,” You start, words meek and quiet. “I...erm, I want...I mean...I don’t…” 

And Hoseok moves his hands to cup your cheeks, smiling at you sweetly, so sweetly. It’s so reminiscent of when he’d gone down on you the first time and you get the urge to suddenly cry at how caring he is. How lucky you are.

“It’s okay. I know...you’re not hugely experienced and you’re not confident. That’s fine, I don’t expect anything from you. We don’t need to do anything, I was just teasing. If you want, I can just go do-”

“No. No, not today. I don’t...I don’t want that. I want...I want you.” This time, the words are a tiny bit more confident but rushed out. “I just...sex...I’ve never really...understood why people like it. You know? It just...felt okay. Maybe it was me but like...yeah, I mean...you know. It was…rushed and you’ve done so much more than me and-” Now it’s Hoseok’s turn to interrupt you, thumbs stroking your cheeks as he lets out a shushing noise.

Suddenly, surprising you entirely, he backs away and gently takes your hand to lead you back to the couch. Without a word he gets you to sit down before doing so himself, taking both your hands between his own with a quiet sigh.

“Okay, I just...want us to talk for a moment, so that neither of us get confused or offended or anything. So...yes, I’ve had a lot of sex, I won’t deny that. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna judge you though. You’re my girlfriend, the vast majority of everyone else was not. I’m incredibly turned on by you and I wanna beat my chest like a neanderthal knowing you want me too. I know you’re shy and you’re not confident of yourself, which is just plain wrong by the way because you are unbelievably beautiful. I just...I don’t want to move too fast for you and have you regret it. So...talk to me. Please.” You’re sure this man really isn’t real, because surely no one really existed like him in real life. 

“Why are you so patient?” You blurt out, brow furrowed in confusion and he looks just as confused for a moment before smiling.

“Because being pushy doesn’t get me anything? Except upsetting you and making you close up. And then if you do anything for me, then it’s because I’ve pushed and pushed until you feel forced to do it. So I’m patient. I don’t really mind, I like your company and it’s strangely rewarding seeing you slowly open up to me. I’m not doing anything for an ulterior motive.” He’s so earnest that you can tell he’s being honest but it still confuses you. 

Not that you’re going to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything. 

So inhaling deeply, you squeeze his hands and gave him a tight smile before talking. Something about Hoseok has always been comforting and reassuring, like he won’t judge you and you know he’ll be the same this time.

“I haven’t...slept with anyone in years. You’ve probably realised or...maybe I told you. But...well. I mean,” Your hands feel so clammy in his. “It wasn’t really good? I never...you know, with anyone. It just...felt fine. Good enough that I’d do it again but not so good I actively wanted it. Thought something was wrong with me because of that. I’ve accepted there isn’t...maybe even wondered if I was asexual for a while or something. Maybe I still am? I don’t really know. I just...I like you...a lot...and I like doing...things with you. I’ve never...you know…”

“Orgasmed?”

It’s a simple word and he says it so casually but you find yourself squirming at it, feeling warm and embarrassed about it. Not only talking about orgasms but also admitting that you’d never had one during sex before. So you simply nod, unable to get the words out and frowning in frustration at yourself.

“Hey...hey look at me,” Hoseok says gently, squeezing your hands till you do as he says. “Don’t feel embarrassed about it. It’s not something to feel bad about. This probably isn’t what I should be saying right now...but I’ve had a lot of sex, with...a sizeable amount of women. Do you know how many times they orgasmed during sex?”

Frowning, you wonder momentarily whether you’re meant to feel better with the knowledge that he’d been with a lot of women. Or that some of them had even orgasmed with him. But you sensed he was trying to make a point, and Hoseok had never been cruel.

Slowly, you shake your head.

“Not that many of them to be honest. I wish I could boost my ego and say I have a 100% strike rate but...I don’t. Sometimes girl’s would cum, most of the time they didn’t. I had to go down on them or something. And I’ve never had a single woman orgasm from penetration alone, they all needed some help. What I’m trying to get across here to you, and very badly because there’s nothing less sexy than hearing about your partner’s...escapades but...please don’t think that you’re always meant to orgasm during sex. Sometimes you might, sometimes you might not. I know that for some women, they just enjoy the feeling because they can’t get there. Sometimes, I don’t even orgasm. I’m not in the mood or something or I get bored...or I’m too drunk.”

That makes your eyes widen in shock and surprise. You hadn’t even though guys could just...not orgasm during sex. It made you realise how little you really knew, and suddenly you felt a little embarrassed about your lack of knowledge about sex. But he wasn’t being condescending or demeaning, so you decided to take the plunge and ask him.

“R-really? You...I didn’t know guys...I thought you just always did.” Hoseok laughs at that, looking so attractive that you can’t help but bite your lip. Even though you’re having a serious conversation with him, you still can’t mask the desire you have for him. Damn him for looking so good in a suit.

“The vast majority of the time? Yeah, it’s no problem. But sometimes like...I’m too tired to bother anymore and I just don’t want to carry on. Sometimes I’m a bit stressed and can’t get there which then leads to anxiety that I’m not. I try not to take it to heart but...you don’t need to be embarrassed. If you wanna orgasm then we can definitely try, if you don’t feel like it, then we don’t need to. It’s entirely up to you, I swear.” 

Silence falls between you both and you stare at your hands, swallowing thickly. He’s offering you so much, and part of you feels bad. But at the same time...you want to just enjoy him without the stress or anxiety of not performing like you thought you were supposed to.

Clenching your jaw, you make the decision and nod your head to yourself. Yes, you were doing this.

So without a word, you grab onto this small flame of confidence he’s lit within you and let go of his hands, instead using them to grip the lapels of his jacket and pulling him forward. His eyes widen for a second and he lets out an ‘oomph’ before you’re kissing him.

It’s not pretty at first, almost painful from the force and you both take a few seconds to reacquaint yourselves with each other before it finally starts moving smoothly like usual. Only this time, the kiss is far more intense than anything you’d had before with him, almost as if you were trying to devour each other with the force and intensity.

Pulling away momentarily, you look at him and groan softly at the desire in his eyes. You’ve seen him in moments of pure lust before, but he’s bordering on unrestrained here. And you want that, so you pull him back in, moulding your lips to his own and feeling the tingle of excitement that runs through you.

“Not here, not here. Please, I really wanna fuck you on your bed.” Hoseok gasps out as he pulls away once more, trying to avoid your grasping hands with a breathy laugh. 

You don’t even question it, getting up quickly and practically tugging him into your bedroom in your eagerness. The sheer laugh of delight he gives you as you do so invigorates you, bolstering the confidence that’s spurring you on and you hope it lasts.

Wrapping your arms around his neck and tugging him into a kiss once you’re in the safe haven of your bedroom, you prepare to trust him with your insecurities once more.

[strangerontheotherside84]

Live Wire Part 2 (Billy Hargrove x Reader)

Disclamer: okay so this is part 2 and I’m actually considering to continue this story a bit more. let me know what you think.

Warnings: swearing, 18+, smut, underage drinking, cheating

tagged: @winter-captain-01

________________________________________________________

Billy’s POV

„Hello? Is anybody home?“

Actually Billy would have prefered to stay in the car and not have another meet-the-parents-experience but since Vicki didn’t come outside at 8 like she said she would, he had had no other choice than to go looking for her. She was propably busy doing her hair again.

He was already heading towards Vicki’s room as he heard loud banging noises coming from the basement. He followed the sound, quickly making his way down the wodden stairs. What he then saw was more than he could have ever excpected.

Y/n was sitting behind a drumset playing along to Mötley Crüe’s „Live Wire“. She was brutally hitting the drums, making it hard to hear the actual record which was playing over the speakers, while mouthing the words or maybe even singing along. Her y/h/c hair was falling in her face. Billy stood in silence, watching her for a while until she finally moved her head towards the stairs, meeting his gaze, which caused her to stop playing immediately.

„Wrong floor, thought you’d knew that by now.“, were the words she greeted him with as she got up and turned down the stereo behind her, barely bothering to look at him. „Vicki isn’t here.“

„Where is she then?“ „I don’t know and I don’t care.“ „She told me to pick her up at 8.“ „Well sorry bout that. But I hope you can understand that my compassion is limited to a minimum in this case. It was you who chose to voluntary spend time with her after all.“, y/n scoffed as she walked over to a trunk in the back of the room and bent over to grab a can of beer out of it. She was wearing a pair of red gym shorts that barely covered her ass, making it very hard for Billy not to stare at her. „So you’re not going to Tina’s party, huh?“, he changed the topic while leaning over the banister he was firmly grabbing onto with both of his hands, licking over his lips. „I never do.“, still no eye-contact. „And why’s that?“ „I don’t get invited and other than that I have better things to do.“

„Yeah I can see that.“ Billy noted with a smirk as he precisely watched y/n take a seat behind the drumset again, running her fingers through the messy hair that was sticking to her face. Cheeks flustered. One could only imagine how she would look like in other sweat-inducing activties, “Hey, how abou-?“

„Billy! What are you doing down here?“, Vicki’s voice suddenly interrupted him, „I’ve been waiting for you in my room! Hurry up! We’re going to be late for the party!“.

Billy rolled his eyes before walking up the stairs, pushing past her to make his way to the car. Vicki stopped him by grabbing his arm and basically throwing herself at the curly haired boy. „I missed you so much. Such a shame that you didn’t come upstairs right away.“

„Get a room! And please not this one. I haven’t got that many left to choose from.“, y/n groaned from downstairs.

Reader POV:

Before finally leaving the basement Vicki turned her attention towards you with an annoyed look on her face, „Also, calm down with the the drumming, freak! You’re not Nikki Lee.“

„It’s Tommy.“, you corrected her with a sigh. „Whatever. You’re neither of them. Just a sad loser that spends her friday nights in her parents basement.“, Vicki snapped at you before turning on her heels and walking away with a satisfied smirk.

Wow, what a burn. Wonder how long it took her to come up with that one. „Better than some dumb bitch who’s highlight of the week it is to show off her new boytoy to a bunch of boring Highschool kids.“ you muttered under your breath while picking up your sticks again, quickly spinning one of them between your fingers.

„What was that?“ „Nothing. Have fun at the party!“, you chirped sarcastically before turning towards Billy once again, “Do me a favor and try not to fuck out whatever is left of her brains.“

Vicki opened her mouth to protest but you had already turned the stereo back up, while smashing the snare and stomping your foot on the base-drum to the rhythm of „Take Me To The Top“, while sticking your tongue out at her.

From of the corner of your eye you could see Billy laughing to himself which earned him a deadly stare from Vicki before she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.

-

I want you, I need you I want you to be mine tonight You need me, you tease me Use you up, throw you away

You’re fire, taking me higher Don’t burn me, don’t let me down You need me now, I’ll teach you how Come on, let’s go all the way

You were lying on the couch in your parents basement, spinning your drumstick between your fingers while listening to the stereo. Okay maybe you had to admit that playing the same Mötley Crüe record over and over again while drinking by yourself wasn’t the best friday night you ever had. But at least you had finally been able to play the drums again without any of your family members complaining. Your parents were out of town, visiting some friends and you weren’t sure when Vicki and Billy would return from the party. Maybe they already did.

"Y/n?”,the husky voice coming from the top of the stairs made you jump a little,causing you to drop the drumstick to the ground, before you quickly sat up.

“Did I scare you?”

“Nothing scares me.”

„What are you still doing down here?“

„Well I live here, what’s your excuse?.“ you greeted Billy who was slowly making his way down the stairs, “Did Vicki kick you out?“

„No, she’s just completely shitfaced and fell asleep right away.“ „Well damn, all that stupid partying for nothing.“ you scoffed.

“Are you always this-?”

“Amazing?”

“Snarky.”

“Absolutely!”

Your last comment caused Billy to laugh and shake his head as he sat down on the couch next to you, „So y/n what are you doing down here? I thought you had a room.“ „I do but the walls are thin as paper and let’s just say… Vicki and I have an agreement about that.“ „An agreement?“ „Yeah. I stay down here whenever she’s busy faking orgasms or she’ll tell our parents that I went to a Mötley Crüe gig in Chicago last summer without them knowing, hide booze down here and get send to detention a lot more often than they think I do.“

„That’s pretty harsh.“ Billy muttered. It was only now that you realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath his leather jacket and caught yourself staring at his chest a little bit too long. Luckily Billy hadn’t realized that, or at least pretended not to, as he simply continued the conversation by adding,“If the stuff she does really is faking it I wouldn’t wanna know how boring the real deal is to be honest.“, under his breath.

Wow did he really just? Okay somebody clearly wasn’t sober. But if Billy’s drunk-persona consistet of him talking shit about Vicki you might actually could stand his presence just a bit longer.

“Well you know, Vicki always gets what she wants. And as long as it makes our little princess happy it will be my pleasure to give her the illsuion that I don’t exist from time to time.”, you explained sarcastically while making a dramatic gesture with your hand, ”Especially if this adds a little sense of purpose to her dull life.”

Billy chuckled as he ran his hand across his face, moving his messy curls to the side, “Well she should be happy to have a sister that’s got the balls to sneak out of the house to go see Mötley Crüe. That’s pretty impressive if you ask me.”

“That wasn’t even the most impressive thing I did that night to be honest.”, you chuckled.

“It that so?”, Billy replied with a smirk.

“It is.”

“Well guess I chose the wrong sister to hang out with.”

“Oh don’t worry everybody does.”, you replied dry causing Billy to laugh again.

You had to admit that he wasn’t as much of a jerk as you had thought at first. However, this assumption had been strongly influenced by the fact that he was with Vicki the first time you met him. You had never seen him laugh with her and therefore just assumed that he was some sort of a buzzkill.

Still, you just couldn’t seem to get a certain thought out of your mind. It had been sitting in the back of your head for quite a while now and basically shifted into this big question mark burning in your brain within the last few days.

„Can I ask you something?“, you finally brought it up. Lowering your voice as if there were people watching you. „Sure. Go ahead.“, the curly haired boy replied in his low, husky voice while resting his left arm right next to you on the back of the couch, moving a bit closer towards you. His icy blue eyes almost seemed to be glued to your face with anticipation.

„So don’t get me wrong it’s pretty obvious that a guy like you would go for the hot cheerleader type of girl. But Vicki is just…Vicki is one of the most boring and shallow people I know, all of her friends are idiots and she isn’t even particulary nice to you. She just likes to show you off.“

You raised your eyes to check if you had somehow rubbed Billy the wrong way. It was his girlfriend you were talking about after all. But he didn’t seem to care too much about your words and more about what else you’d might have to say.

„You however,“ you continued,“You actually seem kinda cool. At least from what I can tell. And most definitely compared to the jocks she usually brings home.“

„So you’re trying to tell me I’m too badass for your sister?“ „No. Well yes. But what I’m actually trying to say is… you guys have absolutely nothing in common and yes she’s hot and popular but you could have also screwed and never called her again. Yet you chose to date her. Why?“

„What why?“ „Why do you like my sister?“, your voice was barely a whisper.

„I never said I liked her.“ Billy hummed, eyes still fixed to yours with a piercing stare. „Then why do you still come here every other day?“ „Maybe I do because I wanna see somebody else. Someone who actually is badass and nice-“

There was barely an inch left between your faces and before your brain could fully comprehend what he’d just said, Billy had already pressed his lips onto yours, brushing his fingers across your cheek and burying them in your hair. The kiss was soft at first but quickly grew more passionate as you leaned in aswell.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as he quickly grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap, making sure not to break the kiss.

„You think I never realized the way you parade around the house whenever I was here?“ Billy muttered in a low tone while trailing kisses down your neck, “How good your ass looks in those shorts and the way your nipples always peek through your shirt? I couldn’t keep my eyes off you since I first saw you y/n.“ He buried his teeth into your skin right above your collar bone as he grabbed your ass with both hands and slapped it quickly afterwards, causing you to hiss with pleasure, „Whenever I got home I always couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I’d like to do to you.“

He placed another sharp slap on your ass.

„You like that?“

„Yes.“ you hummed before cupping his face and kissing him again while running your fingers through his messy curls. Billy immediately responded by playfully biting your lower lip.

You quickly moved back for a split second only to remove your shirt and throw it to the corner of the room. Billy licked across his lips as he ran his hands over your bare chest before finally getting rid of his leather jacket and pulling you closer again. Your kisses grew messier with each second, both of you wanting more. The curly haired boy hissed as you buried your teeth into his lip until you could taste blood.

With one of his hands still grabbing your ass he quickly moved your shorts to the side with the other, a dirty grin flashing across his face at the realization that you weren’t wearing any panties. He moved his thumb across your clit before pushing one of his fingers inside you, curling it almost painfully slow. His actions caused you to whimper into his mouth. “Jesus, y/n who got you this wet?”

Billy quickly unbuckled his belt and slid down his jeans just enough for his errection to spring free, before pushing you off his lap and onto the couch. „Good that I didn’t get to use this earlier, right?“ he muttered with a cocky grin on his face as he took a condom from the pocket of his jeans before taking them off completely. You quickly folowed his example, stripping out of your shorts while Billy was putting the condom over his throbbing cock.

Within a heartbeat he was on top of you again, his tongue playfully teasing yours as he forcfully grabbed your hip with one hand and softly choked you with the other.

You gasped with excitement as he finally pushed inside of you, almost immediately slamming his hips into yours at an unforgiving pace, making it almost impossible for you to keep quiet.

„Come on y/n, don’t hold back. Show me how much you enjoy this.“, his hot breath brushed against your ear, making you shiver.

„Fuck, you feel so good.“,you moaned loudly, very thankful for the fact that the stereo was still blasting music.

„You’re such a dirty girl. Fucking your sisters boyfriend while she’s sleeping upstairs.“ The curly haired boy growled.

„Fuck yes! Tell me I’m better than her.“ you managed to gasp in between moaning and whimpering. Your whole body was shaking and you had the feeling that Billy was making you see stars.

„She’s got nothing on you. Don’t act like you don’t know that.“,he hummed while making eye contact with you. The dirty blonde curls were sticking to his face and his pupils almost completely swallowed the blue of his eyes. Billy moved his head back down to kiss you, his tongue teasing you painfully slow while he pulled out of you, only to thrust back into you seconds later. He sped up his pace once again, chocking you as you buried your fingernails into his back.

„Fuck. Don’t stop! I’m gonna-“, you couldn’t even finish your sentence before your orgasm rushed over you, your whole body twitching and tightening underneath Billy’s weight. The curly haired boy hissed at the sensation quickly reaching his high aswell, his back muscles tightening as he buried his teeth in your neck one final time.

„That was fun, drummer girl.“, he gasped with a grin, breathing heavily, before slowly getting up and grabbing his jeans from the floor.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Italy brings the rock’n’roll youth of tomorrow to Rotterdam 2021

It’s the final day of doing my yet again botched attempt at a review series and I’ve been dying to post my gigantic write-up for my newly beloved Italy, at the top of the bookies, darling of all hearts, ready to rock Eurovision, and even more! Vai vai~

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Representing them this year is Måneskin, a band made up of four - singer and possibly the hottest motherfucker to grace the planet Earth Damiano, guitarist Thomas, drummer Ethan, and the cherry on top - bassist Victoria, whose half-Danish heritage is the reason Måneskin is called Måneskin (= Moonshine). They thought of this name at a “battle of the bands” that they won, thinking they might as well change it to something different, but in the end... say it with me now

They have known each other since highschool, made a band in 2016, won the “battle of the bands”, started out making a living as buskers in the streets of Rome, from which they gradually grew through playing small gigs, and later tried out for X Factor Italia season 11, on which they came 2nd.

They went on to release an EP titled after their debut single of the name of the song above, including some of their X Factor covers, and later on got to get big through releasing an album, getting it certified all kinds of goodnesses, having singles from that album be popular, even releasing a documentary of themselves... they’ve done so much in life and they’re only 20-22 years old... aw man, the life is just ahead of them, for them to be so young and win Sanremo on their first try. (And I’ve always wanted them for Eurovision ever since I was aware of their existence, because their music is very nice, and they just feel like charming human beings. So imagine my joy seeing them announced for Sanremo 2021? And them WINNING months later??? man what kind of luck do I have even if just for a year lmao <333)

“Zitti e buoni”, the last song title alphabetically this year, is purely of the band’s making, and the lyrics are talking about not abiding the rules in general, how they’re out of their minds but they’re not like “them”, and how people talk but don’t know what they’re talking at all.

REVIEW

IT’S A PRETTY CRAZY GOOD ROCK SONG AMEN HALLELUJAH OPRAH WOOOOOOO

wbk I love it. Yeah sure it might be composited of something that sounds like standard rock riffs and what not, but it’s the ENERGY that goes into it that gets me more excited for this than for Finland, a fellow rock song of this year’s final.

Damiano’s vocals have the specific kind of rockstar tinge to them, and they’re very complimenting to the song. The way he says everything is beautiful, the “e buonasera signore e signori” line in particular is just a moment that shows the beginning of power somehow, I don’t know. The chorus is great, eventhough it’s just one line repeated but it changes the pronoun each time (going from “I’m out of my mind” to “you’re out of your mind” to “we’re out of my mind”) - MAGICAL.

And the bridge. YES, the bridge. Along with the outro it’s the best part of the song. The chord progression. The lines repeated on that bridge. The emotions going on. The delivery of the lines of the emotion. It’s a convincing little bridge, to the point that it sounds just as great with violins! Wish they brought one, because according to Love Love Peace Peace, nothing screams winner quite like a violin.

God damn to the Måneskinsters pump this song up to the maximum. It was originally a ballad song, and I think that’s for the better for them to present it as a rock song, because a Sanremo ballad in a pool of Sanremo ballads... unless it stands out according to demoscopic & press juries, and there seems to be a no better option at hand that could make them stand out other than just sending a classy ballad, it just fizzles out in a spectacularly lame fashion. Måneskin’s one real shot through was with a song that would make them stand out, and they did it, and they’re here.

Everyone has put in their work, their passion, their skills into this, and it shows off in spades. Måneskin themselves are fantastic and chill human beings, who too, just like Flo Rida, get to enjoy how crazy amazing Eurovision experience is. And for that I salute them with my whole heart. Whatever they do tonight on Eurovision, they’ll leave a lasting mark in it. And for a good reason.

Also an Italian Eurovision edit that doesn’t suck, once again, yay! (In their defense, they didn’t have a whole lot to work with, so they released theirs early - just a few trimmings here and there, and a lyric change so that they skate by EBU easier with their anti-swearing policies. Gahddamn swearing~)

Approval factor: FUCK YES Follow-up factor: The funny thing about this is that last year their entry is about making noise but the song was a love ballad, this year it’s a song titled “shut up and behave” while dressed in a loudest motherfucking musical setting lol. Fuck the rules! It was solely on the Sanremo’s last year’s winner Diodato not to send an entry he thought that would fit for Sanremo, and that’s good on him - he can return next year replenished as all hell, and maybe aim for the trophy again? wishful thinking? aaaa. Anyway on a personal scale “Zitti e buoni” is a marvelous follow-up from “Fai rumore”, even if skipping 2020 entirely, especially after “Soldi”, which was already a fab follow-up after “Non mi avete fatto niente”, and even from “Occidentali’s Karma” on. And so it is subjectively a good follow-up. Italy SLAYS. AQ factor: As I write this, the odds are very much in their favour, if not a little bit too persuaded over the fact that Måneskin gave a good rock performance and knew what they would be doing, or it’s just that the Italians like overbetting for their acts way too damn much. But nevertheless, I just wanna hope for them to break the expectations people set on rock songs in Eurovision and SMASH themselves a victory. Or a top 2. Or a top 5-10. Anything will do, goddamn.

NF CORNER

Well, I promised that I will talk about Sanremo in a NF corner, because this is the first year I actually cared to watch it myself, unlike when I would’ve sided with someone whose reviewing style I love in not caring to watch it, and usually just check all the songs on the last day lol.

One thing about Sanremo that I sorely underestimate is that a handful of artists on there can come across as very versatile, and the one song you loved of one genre they presented several years ago, can be completely different and leave you baffled for days if you’re not very familiarized with their discography and the Italian music scene in general. Which now I’m going to pay an extreme amount of attention towards following Sanremo 2022 on out because hot damn did I never see gems like Willie Peyote coming!

Did I call him a gem over his entry? Yes, somehow. Am I even sure if I’m being serious?

I think I can somewhat agree when I say that for the international fam watching Sanremo at least, “Mai dire mai (La locura)” was a major expectation destroyer, at least for the crowd whose main lookouts in a lineup like this years were Ermal Meta, Annalisa, Arisa, etc. You know they’re gonna bring a ballad, and their ballads are usually decent, but what about the unexpected? That’s where a handful of acts, including Willie, comes in for me. The bass hooks in the second the song starts. The beat is minimalistic but strong enough to slap. The steady rap flow is mesmerizing, paired with that somewhat specifically Italian(?) vocal timbre. The chorus is greatly catchy, and it is a sung chorus, with this song still being largely a rap song. The electric-esque guitar soundwaves interspersed throughout the song are magnificent and magical, and on the chorus they even make a constant melody riff that repeats and may get annoying on multiple listens, but I still adore them. I really love the bridge as well and all that goes into it. A fantastic surprise of the season for me personally.

Now I figure that the lyrics may hinder the enjoyment for some, especially the points raised in some lines that may seem questionable and shady (if this went to Eurovision and got a “twerking” comment on Youtube, I will not be surprised if the description of choice is “patriarchic twerking”), but am I supposed to be fully offended at some points of it if I’m not its target audience, although I see some of what I do nowadays in those lines? “Mai dire mai” is probably dedicated to the Italian media and the Italian trends and what not. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t win, because if it went to Eurovision, it would’ve likely been met like a lesser “Occidentali’s Karma” - catchy song with lyrics that fly over listener’s heads which might as well be very accidentally mocking how we live our lives.

“Mai dire mai” has just less of a memorability-in-history value and no memorable gimmicks (Francesco had a gorilla, what is it visually going for on Willie’s performance?), besides, it would’ve suffered even WORSE post-Eurovision-edit than OK has - a lot of the bits and bobs that pass me by but when I notice them they make a really great entry, but other than the (presumably copyrighted) removal of a sample from a TV series (spoken by a fish character, nonetheless), what else is there to remove???? With Eurovision’s rules specifying that brands (Spotify, TikTok) and swearwords (lots of the good old Italian ones that Italian radios would digitally scratch out to emphasize that there were a LOT in the second verse) can’t be sung live, the song loses some of its lyrical charm. And you can’t just go around the song like Francesco Gabbani chopping off entire verses full of content full of witty lyrics and a reference to Chanel in order to present the more lyrically singable-along-to lines and not let go of the long chorus to whom his gorilla can dance to. “Mai dire mai” is RIFE with lyrics, that’s what a rap song is. It would have absolutely fallen apart.

Also no one paged it as a potential Eurovision winner during Sanremo, at least seriously, and it doesn’t have much that would have clicked with the future Eurovision generation and contestants when they would be asked to name their favourite Eurovision song of all times. In a world where from Italy they really like “Grande amore” and “Soldi” and even sometimes could name “Occidentali’s Karma”, is there really a place for “Mai dire mai (La locura)” over “Zitti e buoni”? Who would be naming that song as their favourite of all time? If you raised a hand, you lie to yourself, because that would’ve been me.

Now I don’t know how many of the Tumblr fam would draw ire at me putting out paragraphs worth of me being ultra positive towards this song, because as I’ve learned, there’s an ironic and unironic audience for Mr. Peyote on Tumblr especially, but for me I guess it was pretty worthy, also a thing I was finally able to yell off my chest since, and now I finally said it, I will continue streaming “Mai dire mai (La locura)” in peace.

He might’ve not won Sanremo, but his song won the equally important Mia Martini Critics Award, and also, my heart. Rest in broken shards of the Boris aquarium, my sweet cynical prince~

Måneskin were my 2nd after him so I’m equally happy they won. But what about my other favourites?

• Extraliscio ft. Davide Toffolo - Bianca luce nera A diluted version of the liscio genre, still makes for a very fascinatingly catchy and swaying song with lots of great instruments that are violins and a clarinet. What I figure is kinda a love song. Their performances were also great, with lots of dancers on stage and a genuinely great fun to be had, and you may remember them more after their performance in cover night, which was titled “Rosamunda”. They were the ones with their main singer’s guitar spinning for whatever reason that was there to make their song catchy, I guess.

• Lo Stato Sociale - Combat Pop A little bit of a far cry from their glory heydays with 2nd place in Sanremo 2018, but they returned with an equally banging song and an amazing set of performance chaos they brought in each and every time - dedicating their first night’s one to making a performance to not forget (and being the ones of two to reference the great Bugo&Morgan incident from last year, the other being Willie Peyote), the second competitive one was for referencing politics, and so on.

• Colapesce & Dimartino - Musica leggerissima Sweet melancholic song with the shades of Sebastien Tellier kinda sound, this song may seem jolly at first, but the especially melancholic undertones denote that there’s something else going on. It’s actually about depression, as that’s what the term “musica leggerissima” (very light music) means. But it still found a heart in Italian listeners and the Italian world finally woke up to how great Antonio Di Martino and Lorenzo “Colapesce” Urciullo are, and a handful of viewers were slightly heartbroken to see it not place in the superfinal top 3. Who knows if they would’ve actually won over Måneskin. I just know that their rollerskater girlie is so damn fine~

Bugo has also returned but I think his redemption arc started off the wrong foot, as his return entry, “E invece si”, was a bloated showtune ballad and got obnoxious to listen to at part. I declared to myself that night when I first heard the new entry that regarding on what made “Sincero” great, I side with Morgan.

And a special shout out to Ghemon, whose 2019 song was more than just a “purple rose” unlike I noted on a last proper Italian entry review. I don’t know what expectations I had for him, but I certainly wanted to love “Momento perfetto” more at the first listen, which was also somewhat of a show-tuney piece, but with a bit more funk and pizzazz, also Ghemon was VERY much vibing with his song, and that made me feel great for the few other performances of it that I saw the following days. It’s definitely a grower song, and around 2 months after Sanremo I fell into a bit of a rabbit-hole of his earlier music discovering, and I may be a bit exaggerating but, give Ghemon a bit more of acknowledgement and a stellar enough song, and with a little bit of magic touch, I can maybe see him lifting the Golden Lion trophy one day. Don’t ask why. (also lovely music video for his 2021 entry, which replaces continuous spinning in an aesthetic area to everybody moving their body in a diner (hopefully with everyone in the MV tested and been negative for long enough for the MV to actually happen).)

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

There’s so much needed to be discussed about there. So I’ll restrict myself to the moments that I remember and cherish:

• Rosario Fiorello. Just. Him.

• And the gentleman next to him, Achille Lauro.

tw // body piercing

Belarus 2018 could never

Fiorello and Lauro are perfect matches to each other’s worlds of imagination, and I was more than ever glad to see so much creativity coming from each one of them, a host and a nightly interval act respectively.

• Once again, “Rosamunda Medley” by Extraliscio, I didn’t watch the cover night in its entirety but I think it’s good enough of a medley if it got a 3rd place from the cover night from the orchestra!

• Sanremo Newcomers section of this year. I liked or vibed to almost every song out of the 8, and I’m decently happy with the winner, but if there’s one big shoutout I really want to make, is to “Regina” by Davide Shorty, for it’s such a cozy funky little love song that always makes me happy when I hear it. My personal winner preference, but I don’t mind Davide getting 2nd! For as long as he gets to place 1st in a future main Sanremo event hihihihihi

• Diodato proving himself to be a dance king at the beginning of his “Che vita meravigliosa” performance, my good Twitter friend made a bunch of videos where he dances to a lot of songs, as per request, check them out and you won’t forget it.

• Since Sanremo 2021 got rid of the audience as per COVID regulations and much to Amadeus’s dread, there ended up quite a handful of audience related memes. Such as the penis balloon et al.

• Remember when Sanremo 2021 audience was supposed to be whisked away in a cruise ship for safety measures? Pepperidge Farm remembers

• SESSO IBUPROFENEEEEEEEE

The guy that sang this song actually has the same birthday as me, so in my eyes, I feel like he has some charm to it. I’m biased lol sorry

There’s way too many more but I am afraid of flooding my post beyond your readability interest. Let’s hope that, in an event of Italy’s victory or non, we’ll get to see an even more iconic event of Sanremo emerge come the future. <3

ANY LAST WORDS?

Måneskin’s big goal was to rock Eurovision, and I think they’ve greatly accomplished that by just... doing what they do best, and that is, rocking. They leave energy lasting for days.

In bocca al lupo, fam. You’ll nail it, and even if you don’t win, Italy shouldn’t not hail you as national heroes after it’s all over.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

Live Wire --The Dirt--12

Summary: Wren Ledden, Tommy’s best friend from high school, has had a rough life, and she intends to keep the nitty gritty details of her suffrage to herself until the day she dies. Only Tommy has gotten her to open up about a small portion of her troubles, and it’s only Tommy who she trusts with her life. That is until her life gets turned around sneaking into a concert one night…the same night Motley Crue is born.

A/N: I’m going to try and update this more so I can work on some requests I have. As always, feedback is appreciated and I’m always down to talk the Crue with anyone :)

Previous Chapters: Masterlist 

Adrenaline coursed through Nikki’s veins as he and Mick strummed the final chords of their set and gazed out into the audience. As the crowd roared their applause for the four misfits on stage, Wren turned to the man beside her with a slightly arrogant smirk resting on her face. She didn’t know how soon she should have approached him, but after using up all of her available resources of finding dive bars for the band to play in, and Nikki continually begging his boss to let Mötley Crüe play at the Whisky again and again, Wren figured now was as good of a time as ever.

“They’re good,” he stated. The salt and pepper of the man’s hair was different from how Wren the image she had of her grandfather’s brother from years ago, but his eyes were just as piercing and weary as she could recall. “Your mother would hate that you’re here. You know that, right?” Wren folded her arms over her chest and held her breath at the mere mention of her parents.

“They hate a lot of the things I like, and much of what I’ve done, but I’m not here to talk about my mother, Uncle Elmer. Grandpa taught me everything I know about the industry, and the one thing he said more than anything else was—”

“Talent is important, but knowing someone important will allow the world to experience that talent,” the tall, rather puffy faced man said as he recalled the nugget of wisdom his brother frequently spouted to anyone who was listening, but most frequently to young Wren in particular.

“You don’t have to vouch for them if you don’t think they have what it takes to make it. I can keep finding dive bars, sleazy clubs, anything it takes to get them the face time with audiences they need before booking the bigger venues, but you’re someone important, and me knowing you could allow the world to see all that these guys have to offer.” Wren didn’t smile or smirk; her face was firm and confident in her assessment of Mötley Crüe, and she only hoped her great-uncle would see what she saw in them. Sure, they were still new to the scene, and even though it felt as if they had only been together for a matter of months, they were encroaching on the year anniversary of forming the band.

Once again, the man’s eyes surveyed the crowd as teenagers and young adults jumped up and down, threw their fists into the air and chanted the band’s name in hopes they’d perform one last song before stepping off stage. Tommy’s eyes searched for Wren, but he gave up when he realized fighting against the blinding spotlights focused on him was bringing on a headache.

“They’re certainly something you don’t see every day,” Elmer commented as he trailed over each of the men standing on stage. “And keep selling out each time they play here at the Whisky.” With a sigh, Elmer Valentine shoved his hands into his pockets and pulled out a pen. “Call this number and I’ll make sure your band gets a back-to-back, two-night performance at The Roxy,” he said as he scribbled down a telephone number under the words ‘Roxy Theatre’. “I’ll also put a few calls in to some colleagues and friends about having them perform at other venues.”“Other venues?” Wren asked as she took the napkin her great-uncle had written on and slid it into her back pocket.

“The Troubadour, The Starwood, maybe even Gazzarri’s and the Santa Monica Civic Center,” he said nonchalantly with a smirk on his face as he watched Wren’s face beam excitement.

“You’re the best, Uncle Elmer,” Wren said with a wide smile as she peered up at the first person in her family, aside from her grandfather, to believe in her. “Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it, kiddo,” he said before reaching out to envelope Wren in a quick hug. “Just keep us being relatives under wraps. Connections are one thing, but nepotism is another.” With a quick nod of understanding between the pair, Wren shook her great-uncle’s hand one more time before she began to push her way past the crowd and towards the green room as she heard Vince call into the microphone, “Once again, we are Mötley Crüe. Don’t forget you can buy t-shirts and shit at the bar! Good night Los Angeles!”

 Backstage, a few employees of The Whisky began to pack up Tommy’s drums and carry the instruments and amplifiers to the beat-up van the band had been using to transport their belongings between the house and shows. The guys were hurrying to scrub the makeup they had on their faces off with wet washcloths, and buzzed from the electricity in their bones from the performance they just gave.

“This is amazing!” Tommy bellowed as he tossed the rag he used to clean his face towards the travel bag of makeup Wren had brought along. “They love us!”

“Three performances here isn’t enough to get us on the map,” Nikki reminded him solemnly. “We just have to hope we made some money off t-shirt and cassette sales to book a pat-to-play gig or something.”

“Do you really have that little faith in your manager?” Wren questioned as she entered the green room to see Vince beginning to strip himself out of his stage costume in order to change into his normal clothes. Confidently, Wren walked to where Mick and Nikki sat and held a crisp check over her beaming smile. “You guys made three-hundred dollars in sales,” she said as she passed the check to Mick, who then showed it to the rest of the band.

“No way!” Tommy gasped as he ran towards Mick to stare at the proof of their profit.

“We’re going to celebrate! Tonight!” Vince stated. “I already told some fans to come to the house for an after party, so you can’t say no!” Excitement spread through every fiber of Tommy’s being and Nikki became almost as excited as Tommy.

“Well, if you’re going to celebrate something, it’s not going to be making a few hundred bucks,” Wren said as she leaned her back against one of the vanities positioned against the wall. As Mick noticed an all-knowing smirk on her face, he spoke first.

“Alright, I’ll bite. Do you have something you’re not telling us, Ledden?” Her smirk seemed to transfer to his lips and she bit her lip before spilling her small secret.

“Certain connections and scouting have led to Mötley Crüe getting a two-night performance at the Roxy.” Before Wren could finish her sentence, Tommy had her hanging in the air like a rag-doll between his arms as he swung her around in circles.

“How in the hell were you able to pull that off?” Vince questioned with a large smile on his face.

“Grandpa’s old radio station friends?” Tommy guessed as he placed Wren back on the ground and began to twirl his drumsticks as a way to channel the energy surging through him.

“Something like that,” Wren commented. “And that’s not all. There’s talk of securing places like the Troubadour and some pretty big venues too.”

“Damn,” Nikki sighed as he came over to thank Wren for not only believing in the band, but getting shit done to promote them. “What would we do without you?”

“Crash and burn,” she smirked with a light chuckle as Nikki draped an arm across her shoulders and squeezed before he quickly let go. It was short, sweet, and friendly, but that didn’t keep Mick, Tommy, or even Vince from scrutinizing every millisecond of the interaction.

***                        ***                        ***                        ***

The clock on the wall read half past two in the morning, but no one seemed to notice the time. The small, cramped apartment felt even smaller and more cramped with each passing moment as more people seemed to filter into and out of the Mötley home through whatever crevasse they could find. Like roaches, people who had attended the band’s performance crawled into and through their home, except in some cases, Wren definitely preferred the roaches. She and Mick lingered on the outside of the chaos that seemed to be unfolding in ever square inch of her home, and each did their best to distract themselves with burning liquids.

“Not one for parties?” Mick questioned as the pair leaned against the window sill and looked out across the sea of sweaty people.

“Not one for people,” she responded as she pulled a plastic cup to her lips and tasted the sweet, burning concoction of Dr. Pepper and Amaretto.

“Don’t like them?” Mick asked without taking his eyes off the scene before the pair.

“Don’t trust them. Everyone has a secret agenda or bullshit selfish endeavors,” she huffed her blanket statement into existence. The man beside her nodded in solidarity and the pair tried once again to relax and blend into the wall, but having Tommy rush to Wren’s side only began to draw attention to the two loaners.

“Wren, look!” Tommy gasped as he let out a puff of smoke in the shape of a ring. The distinctively sweet and earthy flavor tickled her nose as she caught a whiff of the smoke coming from Tommy’s mouth. “It’s just like band camp!” he gasped before handing the remainder of a joint off to her and disappearing into the crowd. Without hesitation, Wren placed her lips to the rolled-up paper she held delicately between her index and middle fingers and inhaled. Upon seeing Mick’s down-turned eyes, Wren let go of the breath she was holding and coughed once before she attempted to defend herself.

“It’s an occasional vice,” she tried to explain before he cut her off.

“I’m not your pops; you don’t owe me anything. You’re a smart woman.” With a nod and a smile in his direction, Wren took another, much shorter puff before letting her arm hang down.

“I’m really glad you’re here. This is probably going to be commonplace and it’s nice to not be the only person lingering in the background,” Wren admitted as she and Mick peeled themselves off the wall to make their way towards Tommy who was frantically waving his arms in their direction. In their walk over, Wren took a few more hits from the joint before it was gone and then disposed of it in an ashtray.

“Don’t mention it,” Mick huffed as he sat down across from Tommy and Wren placed herself between the two. Nikki sat across from her, his head ducked and his forehead placed against one of Tommy’s cymbals. The fuzzy feeling in her head and the chill that was taking over her from her core initially distracted her from the scene that was unfolding before her. There was a heavy inhaling sound before Nikki pulled his head up, widened his eyes, and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his leather jacket. Wren closed her eyes and blinked rapidly to clear any conclusion jumping from her mind, but when Tommy mimicked Nikki’s actions and her eyes caught sight of the white powder, her pounding heart turned to lead and the chills caused her to begin to shake.

“What the hell?” she asked as her now bloodshot eyes darted from Tommy to the drugs before her.

“Did you want some?” he asked only to have Wren slap him in the back of the head.

“No, I didn’t ‘want some,’” she sneered as she despairingly mocked him. “You two are going to fuck things up for Mötley Crüe before you ever make it out of LA!” Wren’s accusing tone caused Tommy to mentally shut down. Only once before had he she ever been truly angry with him, and it was something he vowed to avoid at all costs; however, Nikki scoffed as he reached for the cymbal to do another line. In a wave of anger, Wren grabbed the instrument and turned sharply on her heel towards the bathroom.

“Wren!” Nikki called as he rushed after her. “Wren what are you doing?” Without thinking to knock, Wren threw open the door and turned on the sink before placing the cymbal under it and rinsing the remainder of cocaine down the drain. “What the fuck, Wren?” Nikki grumbled as he placed his hands on her waist and spun her around to face him. Now completely freezing from the weed-chills, Wren’s fingers were unable to sustain their grip on the cymbal and the loud crash it made as it fell to the ground sent a painfully long ringing through both her and Nikki’s ears.

“What the hell is going on out there?” a voice behind the shower curtain called out. Before Wren could turn her head, the curtain flew open to reveal Vince and Lovey, each topless, sitting in the bathtub with a syringe plunged into their arms.

“It’s just your bassist trying to fuck the band’s original groupie,” Lovey commented in an aloof and airy tone with a laugh in her voice, however, unlike her usual insults, which were met with fierce, deadly glares, she was unable to hold eye contact with Wren for longer than a few seconds.

“Find a different room, Nikki. We’re using this one,” Vince muttered in the same incoherent tone as his girlfriend.

“Are you fucking shooting up?” Nikki grumbled as he threw the rest of the shower curtain open and glared down at Vince. “You’re chewing my ass out when blondie is fucking injecting,” Nikki groaned as he turned back to face Wren.

“You’re both fucking pathetic for using coke in the first place!” Wren shouted in response as she tried to contain herself from shaking too violently.

“Says the woman who’s high—”

“Half a joint is different from fucking cocaine!” Wren quickly retaliated.

“What’s the big deal? All the greats do it,” Vince returned with a goofy grin over his face.

“The big deal is that you guys are still, essentially, nobodies! You have a f-few good shows and a do-it-yourself, demo tape and y-you think you’re hot shit! You d-dumbasses are going to throw everything if you don’t grow up!” Frustrated and angry at a solid seventy-five percent of Mötley Crüe, Wren left the mess she had made in the bathroom—cymbal on the floor, water running, Nikki fuming, and Vince floating through the air—and to return to the only sound mind in the band besides her. “You’re both useless,” she said on her way out as she angrily slammed the door behind her.

“Someone isn’t getting laid tonight,” Lovey sneered at Nikki who glared at the woman before throwing the door open and then closed again to follow Wren in an attempt to make things right. As he tried to hurry after her in his inebriated state, he could feel himself growing angrier and angrier as a drunk, male party-goer continued to place himself in front of Wren, therefore blocking her from going anywhere.

“Back off,” Nikki could hear her defiant voice command before he watched as Tommy stood and staggered his way towards his best friend.

“Dude, leave her alone,” Tommy slurred.

“You haven’t spent more than a minute with her tonight, so I know she’s not your girl. If anything, the old grump has more to say than you,” the man commented as he jutted his head towards Mick.

“She’s not the person you want to fuck with, dude,” Mick commented as he followed Tommy towards the commotion.

“Come on, you’ve been warned three times now,” Nikki commented as he pushed himself between the man and Wren, “show some respect or get the fuck out!” As Nikki lengthened his spine to use his height over this man to his favor, the shorter, much stockier man’s chest had puffed out and his voice deepened as he threatened Nikki.

“Make me motherfucker,” he panted in an angry and determined tone as he dug his fingers into Nikki’s collarbones and shoved him backwards until he toppled over into Tommy. In a rage at the man for cornering her, at Nikki and Tommy for snorting coke, and at Vince for shooting up, Wren sent her leg flying up into the man’s groin. As he doubled over in pain, she shoved her fist across his face in a swift motion, sending the man to the ground in a moaning pile of drunk trash.

“I’m going to bed,” she announced angrily as she stepped over the crumpled and agonizing body on the floor and threw the door open to her room. “Get the fuck out!” she shouted at the two or three couples thinking they were about to get it on in her room before they went scurrying away like rats through a storm drain. Nikki swore he could hear the lock click on her door over the noise and chaos unfolding in the rest of their apartment, but he was too angry and embarrassed to do anything other than watch as Tommy and another party-goer threw the man outside of the house.

A moment ago, he wanted to apologize, to make a deal with her, to promise he wouldn’t do anything to compromise what he knows she’s been busting her ass for him to achieve, but now? Now he felt small, weak, even emasculated by the fact that a girl just laid out the guy he was trying to protect her from. Who fucking does that? He thought as he shrunk away from the party and out, into the night and onto the front porch. A man defends a woman. It’s that simple. She made you look weak, even dependent. As the thoughts circulated in his mind, Nikki glanced at the two lawn chairs that over looked the street below. The softness in his heart he felt towards her that morning had begun to fade, and the more he thought about how embarrassed he felt in that moment that seemed to hang, frozen in time, the higher the walls he was constructing became. Nikki pursed his lips and clenched his jaw as he sharply inhaled the night air. With anger in his heart and a ferocious grimace on his face, he pushed past the partiers until he too had sunken into the dark, stillness of his room.

Tags:  @prettyyoungandbored​, @hot-young-runningfree​, @crue-sixx​, @oskea93​, @dancergirl5527​, @thatonemoviefan​, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog​, @motleymachinegun​, @motleycrueee​, @motley-queen​, @american-satanxx 

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 10/10 (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. Previous Chapters ( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9)

Author’s notes: This is it, folks. The last chapter. This fic has been such an amazing experience for me and I’m so proud of it. I look back at it and I know I’d like to work a bit in a few points, but I think overall, it turned out pretty good. I want to thank everyone who stayed until the end. I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter and maybe I’ll get back to it for a few outtakes and how the future looks like for Steph and Ke.

Wordcount: 4455

Warnings: fluff. so. much. fluff. Also very soft sex. 

Keanu’s cheeks hurt from grinning so wide as they stepped out of the stage. It had been a great set. The energy high, the crowd receptive. Some of them even knew a few lyrics, singing along with Brett. It was amazing and once again he gave a silent prayer to the universe that they could finally do this professionally. Well, to the universe and Steph. He had to admit if she hadn’t sent Mike their way, Dogstar would probably still be struggling.

Once again, his chest ached at the thought of her. She had been in his mind the entire day and the dull pain was pulsing on and off with every beat of his heart, reminding him of what he lost. Some days were easier to push thoughts of Steph aside, but between his conversation with Kim and playing Honesty Anyway, Keanu was missing her more than usual.

Needing a moment for himself, he waved at Brett and Robert and headed to the alley in back of the club so he could smoke a cigarette before joining his friends for a celebratory beer. The last thing he expected to see in that cold autumn night, in his hometown of all places, was Steph.

At first, Keanu thought he might be imagining her. His heart longing for her and making his mind see things, but her name still escaped his lips as he watched her standing there, her back to him. He knew it was real by the way she tensed at his voice, but his confirmation came when Steph finally turned and looked at him.

It always hit him like a punch how gorgeous she was. Keanu had always heard the expression breathtakingly beautiful, but he never really experienced it. That feel of air being sucked out your lungs at the sight of someone. Not until he met Steph.

He took an unconscious step forward needing to see her better, closer. To feel her warm skin and smell her scent and taste her lips again, but Keanu froze. He couldn’t. Not after everything that happened. Not with the way they hurt each other.

“I didn’t know you were performing tonight,” she whispered, fidgeting with the CD in her hands, looking anywhere but him. “We came here to celebrate the wrap up for the movie. I had no idea…”

“You were shooting here in Toronto?” Keanu asked and she nodded. What were the odds? It almost felt like fate. If one believed in that sort of thing.

Time trickled by as they stood there. The silence stretching between them, heavy with all the things left unsaid last time they shared the same space and Keanu raked his brain for something to say, but his voice was suddenly caught in his throat, overwhelmed by the sight of her.

“I should…” Steph gestured to the club. “People are probably wondering where I am.”

“Yeah.” Keanu nodded, struggling against the lump in his throat. “Same with Rob and Brett.”

“It was good to see you, Keanu,” she whispered, taking a step back. “You guys were really great.”

“Wait!” He called out before Steph could go too far and she turned to look at him again. “Can we talk? Please?”

He saw Steph hesitate, glancing back before looking at him. Keanu could see the doubt in her expression but also hope. Maybe. He wished it was hope. Like he felt it too. Keanu truly regretted how they left things back in Paris and he thought about reaching out countless times, but with the entire press circus, he thought it would be for the best to leave it be. However, she was here now, and the media had finally forgotten about them. Maybe it was time. Maybe there could be a way… If Steph was willing.

“Ok,” she agreed. “I’ll just grab my coat and let my people know I’m leaving.”

Keanu just nodded in reply, watching as she disappeared back in the club before he dug out his phone and texted Rob and Brett, finally lighting up the cigarette he had been planning to. This time the goal was the calm his nerves. She was here. Steph was here of all places.

Sooner than he expected, Steph re-emerged, dark coat wrapped around her shape, hair pulled back in a ponytail, a few strands had remained stubbornly loose sticking to her neck and Keanu had to fight the urge to push them aside and kiss her nape as he guided the way to a burger joint a couple of streets over.

The diner was an after-party kind of place, food greasy, furniture even greasier. He hadn’t been there in ages but his usual booth was free and Keanu slid across the familiar red vinyl seat letting the warm environment of the dinner surround him and soothe his nerves.

They placed their order and just sat there in awkward silence while it was getting made. Keanu drummed his fingers nervously, wondering why this was so hard when talking to Steph used to be as easy as breathing to him. She was one of the few people that knew almost everything there was to know about him. Including the bits, Keanu could never bring himself to tell Kim.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out, at last making Steph look up startled. “About Paris. I didn’t understand what it would cost you…”

“Keanu, no,” she shook her head reaching across the table to take his hand. “I was the jerk. I should be the one apologizing. What I did in that restaurant, that was…”

“As bad as me ditching you half-drunk in a nightclub while your ex harassed you?” Keanu interrupted an awkward, sad smile in his lips.

He had come to terms that yes, what Steph did was terrible, but he wasn’t a saint either. Jealousy was an ugly look on both of them.

“I guess,” she huffed, not exactly a laugh. More like a realization. “I forgot about that.”

“I didn’t,” Keanu sighed, grabbing a napkin and twisting between the fingers of his free hand. “And I never even apologized for it. I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Me too,” Steph said and there was so much in those two words.

Time seemed to stand still while they sat there, gaze locked together, fingers entwined with each other. It felt like they were sharing an entire conversation without saying anything. Baring their hearts for one another with just one look that spoke of regret and guilt, but also longing and affection.

 The moment was broken when the waitress brought over their order: burgers, fries, and milkshakes for both, but it was alright. In those precious seconds in which they just looked at each other, that deep understanding they once shared returned and they knew they would be alright. There was a lot to figure out, but they both knew they would figure out as they went.

They stayed in the diner until closing time, talking and laughing like they used to do before everything turned to shit. It was perfect and it felt like no time had passed at all between them. Keanu wanted to kick himself for wasting so much time, for holding onto something that would never make him happy only due to his pride.

Keanu shared a uber with Steph back to her hotel even if it was a detour from his mother’s house, where he was staying. He just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her, but as they stood on the steps that led to the reception area, he had no other excuse.

“Well, goodnight,” he said, hands in his pockets, head ducked, hair covering his eyes.

“‘Night, Ke,” Steph whispered, her lips brushing the corner of his, her small hand resting on his arm as she raised herself on her toes to kiss him. “I’m staying until Sunday, maybe we can get coffee or something?”

“I can’t…” he sighed with a wince. “We’re heading for Vancouver in the morning. Another gig.”

“Oh.” She looked disappointed, but proud at the same time as she met his eyes. “Then maybe we can meet when you’re back in LA.”

“Which won’t be for another month,” Keanu replied sheepishly. “So, I could maybe call you in the meanwhile. Like we used to do?”

“Yeah.” Steph grinned wide and nodded. “That sounds good.”

---

Keanu was exhausted, but happy. They had finished their tour very successfully. Most of their gigs had been packed and their CD sales had been great. Mike said they were heading the right way and after a couple of weeks of downtime, he expected Dogstar to be back in business, working on some new songs for a second record.

During the month he had been traveling around Canada and US playing, Keanu had kept in touch with Steph. They were hesitant at first, walking in eggshells and trying to avoid any tricky topics that might set off an argument until Keanu got sick of it. He wanted them to go back to how they were and he said so one night after one too many celebratory beers while they were facetiming.

“We can’t, Ke,” Steph sighed, a shadow of pain crossing over her expression. “But I hope we can find a way to make things different. Better.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, tapping on his bottle. “Ok, rule number one: no bottling up. If we don’t feel good about something, we tell the other.”

“And the other has to actually listen before reacting,” Steph pointed out, a smile sneaking into her lips. “Also, we’re obviously not good at sharing so…”

“Yeah. Definitely,” Keanu nodded before she could even finish. “What you wanna do about the press?”

“Fuck them!” Steph declared, tone forceful and with a harsh edge. “I’m done living my life on their terms.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” she paused, bottom lip between her teeth. “You? And your band? Because it might affect them.”

“They’re fine with it,” Keanu assured with a little laugh. “Rob actually said he was happy the kicked puppy look was finally out of my face.” Steph chuckled too at that. “And I’m fine with it. If you really want this.”

“I do,” she assured, with a smile and he saw her glancing at something off the frame, before looking back at the screen. “Only three more weeks.”

“And time flies,” Keanu added, smiling too.

It did fly at first. Especially when Keanu was entertained with the band and the shows, but as the day of returning to Los Angeles got closer, this eagerness to see Steph in flesh and bone seemed to turn every minute in an hour. Every hour in a day.

He was unfocused and distracted, always lost in thoughts about what it would be like to see her again. At times, Brett and Rob had to call his name several times before Keanu could break away from his daydreaming to actually focus on the matter at hand. They both took it in stride, knowing very well how it felt to be in love like that and happy that their friend was finally getting back to his normal self.

Finally, he was home and anxiety consumed him as Keanu got ready to go see her. Steph assured that she was fine with waiting until morning, knowing that he would be landing so late at night, but Keanu wanted to head straight from the airport if that was ok. He couldn’t wait to see her. Not anymore. Not when they were in the same city once again, only minutes away from each other.

He packed put his bass case and duffle on the back of the taxi, twisting the hem of his shirt under his fingers as the car made its way through the sinuous roads of Hollywood Hills towards Steph’s house, the familiar landmarks making his heart beat faster at each turn until the cab finally stopped in front of her place.

Keanu was shaking when he got out of the car, duffle in one hand, bass on the other. Much like the first time he had been here, a slow drizzle was falling, filling the air with the scent of wet earth. He knew he should get out of the rain; his case wasn’t waterproof and he couldn’t risk damaging his bass.

It was only a couple of steps towards the intercom, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, his feet seemed stuck to the concrete sidewalk. What if he ruined this again? What if they couldn’t make it work?

Keanu jumped startled when the gate buzzed and swung open without prompt. When it registered in his mind, he couldn’t help but smile. Steph must have been watching the cameras or the window and saw him arriving. That was enough to make him take a step forward, still anxious, still afraid, but at least he knew he wasn’t the only one.

“Hi,” she greeted as soon as she pulled the door open, sounding as breathless as Keanu felt and his smile widened when he saw Steph was wearing his t-shirt. The one he had long left behind in her house.

“Hey.” It was the only thing that Keanu could manage. God, he missed her.

They stood awkwardly by the door, watching one another. Eyes mirroring each other awed of being physically together again until Steph let out a short chuckle and stepped aside so Keanu could actually walk in.

A lot had changed in her place since the last time he had been there. The walls featured a different color and there were no longer movie posters from her previous works hanging around. Instead, beautiful photographs from the landscapes and skylines hung in their place and he took a moment to admire them, recognizing one as the view from Hollywood Hills from that spot Keanu had taken her when they went for a motorcycle ride.

“What do you think?” Steph asked, standing a couple of steps behind him and Keanu glanced at her.

“Beautiful. Did you take them?” A blush spread through her cheeks as she nodded.

“I had a lot of time off these last few months,” she replied with a shrug. “I thought a new hobby was in order.” She led the way to the sitting room, gesturing for him to leave his things wherever it was convenient. “Did you eat? I think I have some leftover lasagna Vincent made last night…”

Steph trailed off when Keanu’s arm came around her waist, preventing her from making her into the kitchen, bringing her into his arms instead.

“Hi,” he said, resting his forehead against hers and Steph grinned.

“Hey.”

Their lips finally met for that much needed, much-yearned kiss and Keanu sighed in contentment at the taste of her; the feel of her in his arms. He didn’t know when it happened and couldn’t believe how he didn’t notice before, but Steph tasted and felt like home to him.

For how long, Keanu didn’t know, but it explained why he had felt adrift for the last few months, even when coming back to his home town and his mother’s house, Keanu hadn’t felt that same comfort, the belonging that he felt right now.

“I missed you so much,” Steph sighed against his mouth, her hands threading through his hair. “I thought about you every single day.”

“Me too,” he said, his hands coming under her shirt, desperate to feel the warmth and softness of her skin. “Gosh! Why were we such idiots?”

“I don’t know,” she chuckled, shoving at his jacket, making Keanu let go of her only long enough so she could push it off him, before returning to her back. “But I’m not letting you go again.”

“Good,” he smiled, nipping at her lower lip, making her giggle. “Because I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

With a grin, Keanu hoisted her Steph up, her legs coming around his waist as she grinned too and let him take her to the master bedroom, laying her gently on the bed, before standing up again and kicking his shoes and socks.

“How do you want me, ma’am?” he asked, kneeling in front of her and Steph paused, her eyes shining with warmth and love.

“Come’re, babe,” she called, offering him a hand and guiding Keanu until he was lying on top of her, between her legs, his clothed erection pressing against her hip as their lips met once more.

The kiss slow, soft, exploring. Their hands roaming each other’s bodies, touching and peeling off layers of clothing until they were naked together, chests pressed against one another as they moved in sync. Lips found those familiar spots that made the other moan, their breath catching in their throats, their bodies growing hotter, slick with sweat, sliding against each other.

Keanu reached between them, finding her entrance with his fingers, rubbing and teasing, making Steph arch up, her fingers digging on his back. He smiled against her neck as he toyed with her clit, the look of ecstasy in her face making the burning need in the base of his spine grow, his cock hard, heavy and leaking against her thigh as she rolled her hips against the two fingers he pushed inside her.

He moaned at the way of her walls quivered around his digits, tight and wet and how Keanu missed this. The feel of her cunt welcoming him in, gripping at him like it was trying to keep him there forever.

“Fuck me, Ke,” Steph gasped, pulling at his hair so he could look at her. “I need you inside me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Keanu panted, a smile drawing on his lips as he replaced his fingers with his cock, pushing into her welcoming heat slowly, grunting and gasping at the perfect tightness around him. Steph’s own moans making the need inside him grow as they slotted together, his cock completely sheathed inside her, his sticky forehead resting against hers as they caught their breath and adjusted to the overwhelming feeling of being united again.

“I missed this,” she said, a wide smile in her lips as Steph brushed some strands of hair away from his face. “No one makes me feel like this.”

“I know what you mean,” he gasped, adjusting her legs around his waist. “Guess we were just made for each other.”

“Yeah,” Steph agreed, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Now move, babe.”

There it was again, the command in her voice. That tone that seemed to ignite something deep inside Keanu, stroking the heat of pleasure and with a smirk, he pulled back until only his tip remained, before slamming into her, making Steph cry out and curse, her heels digging on his lower back.

“Fuck yes! Just like that, Ke,” she exclaimed, raising her hips to meet his as they found their rhythm, their bodies reacquainted with each other.

Sooner than Keanu liked, he felt the telltale coil in the pit of his spine ready to snap. Steph was shaking and quivering, her walls squeezing him tight. She was close too.

“I’m gonna…” he warned, speeding up his thrusts, desperately seeking his release. She just nodded, shifting her body underneath him until they were rooting against each other, mouths locked into a gasping kiss, sharing breath and moans.

“Come in me, babe,” she whispered, making him snap.

Keanu grunted and groaned her name as he kept thrusting through his orgasm until Steph was squeezing and pulsing around him, her head thrown back in a wordless cry as she came moments after him.

They laid there together, resting against each other until Keanu grew soft inside her and tried to pull away but Steph just tightened her hold around him, making him stay still. For such a tiny woman, she was surprisingly strong.

“We’re making a mess on the bed,” he chuckled, rubbing his nose against hers.

“We can change the duvet later.” Steph smiled at him. “I just want to stay here, with you for a little longer.”

“Ok,” Keanu relented, meeting her lips for a sweet kiss. “You know, you never let me be on top before.”

“Really?” she frowned at him, obviously thinking back on their previous encounters. “I should let you do it more often. It’s nice to just relax and take it.” Keanu chuckled against her cheek and Steph giggled too.

“Can we stay like this forever?” he asked, meeting her soft gaze.

“I told you, babe,” Steph started, caressing his cheek. “I’m not letting you go again.”

“Good,” Keanu smiled, settling against her chest so they could drift off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

---

Steph wrung her hands together on her lap, her eyes darting over to her phone every couple of seconds as if she stared at it long enough, it would make it ring. Like she could mentally will Keanu’s flight to arrive when it was delayed due to a storm in Seattle.

“Stop doing that,” Jean chided coming into the room. “You’re gonna ruin your nails. He’ll be here.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed, settling her hands on her lap and trying to look at her friend and agent without turning her head and disturbing the stylish working on her hair. “I just worried. What if he doesn’t make it?”

“Then he won’t walk the red carpet with you,” he said with a gentle smile. “But we always knew that was a possibility, honey. He will be there for the movie and afterparty though. You know it.”

She did. Of course, she did. Keanu had assured her that if Steph wanted him to accompany her to the movie’s premiere, even if the fact would stir up the rumor mill again, he would do it and fuck the media. Jean and Steph even talked to Katheryn about it and she couldn’t care less.

The movie had done wonderfully in Cannes, which had been the first showing of it. Both Katheryn and Steph were showered with compliments for their work so the director was pretty confident that having some gossip about Steph and her boyfriend wouldn’t damage the movie’s success. And if it did, well, Katheryn didn’t want those judgmental people anywhere near her work. Steph only wished she had Katheryn’s confidence.

Despite telling Keanu she didn’t give a fuck about what the press would say about them, as soon as the first paparazzi pictures hit the tabloids, she felt it like a punch. The mean comments and jokes. Photographers hounding both of them for information, but they managed to push through it and after a couple of weeks, things died down.

Especially when news of Kevin’s divorce, only a month after his wedding, hit the news and gossip turned to him. It wasn’t surprising that he cheated on her, but it wasn’t often that the cheated spouse released the photos of the betrayal just so she could have the legal grounds to wipe out his bank account since she didn’t sign a prenup.

Steph didn’t want to be petty, but when Jean called her to deliver the news, she couldn’t help the small chuckle from escaping her lips. Karma truly was a bitch. That had been six months ago and while Kevin got what was coming for him, Steph was enjoying her best life and couldn’t be happier despite the first wave of insecurity.

After the first month, Keanu just moved into her place already, since he was barely seeing the inside of his own apartment. With the money he was saving by not paying rent, they converted her basement into a soundproof studio so he, Rob and Brett could work on their new album. Steph’s garage now held not only her Audi, but Keanu’s Norton and the prototype of a motorcycle Keanu and Gard were working on, trying to get it into the market so they could make Arch grow.

Her house was suddenly filled with people like never before in her life and Steph didn’t know she loved it this much. She loved sitting at a corner, watching Dogstar play. Taking pictures every now and then, since it was her newest passion ever since she took a break from acting.

She loved acting and she would always love it, but after everything that happened, Steph wanted to make sure she was picking the right roles not only moneywise but because they had an actual message to deliver, much like Katheryn’s movie. Fortunately, she had plenty of savings and slowly as few ad companies were coming back, asking to work with Steph again.  

After that mess of a year, it was nice to see things getting into place.

It was nice to be completely happy, be in peace with her career, her romantic life and have friends. They were even thinking about getting a pet together, maybe a rescue dog, though Steph had always been more of a cat person herself. They even had an appointment the Monday morning after the weekend premiere.

If Keanu made it back in time that is. Dogstar had flown over to Seattle to shoot their first music video and since the three of them loved grunge, it would only be fitting that they shot at the birthplace of that music genre.

“All done,” the stylish announced, bringing Steph back from her musings and she looked at the mirror, smiling at the simple, yet elegant side bun in her hair. It fit perfectly with her light makeup and knee-length black dress.

“Thank you so much,” Steph said, walking into the closet to put her dress on while Jean showed the woman out. She was still debating over which shoes to wear when she heard the door again. “Think I should go for the stilettos? I mean, they murder my feet but they’re so pretty…”

“They are,” the deep voice startled her, and Steph turned around quickly to look at Keanu, standing there in a tailored suit, hair neatly combed, looking so perfect. “Especially when you’re only wearing them and your lingerie.”

“Oh my God! You made it!” she all but shrieked, jumping on his waiting arms as Keanu chuckled against her ear.

“Watch the suit. If I get one wrinkle on it, Jean’s gonna murder me,” Keanu commented, putting her down. “You look beautiful.”

“You always say that,” Steph smiled, standing on her toes to meet his lips.

“That’s because you’re always beautiful.”

“You two stop being cute and get your ass in gear,” Jean called from the door. “Car is waiting.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Steph joked, grabbing her shoes and her purse and following Keanu outside.

“Are you ready to do this?” he asked, getting the door for her.

“With you?” Steph asked, pausing in front of him, a huge smile gracing her lips. “Always.”

XXX The end XXX

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[imagines-by-billie]

Golden Eyes.

Part 5.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

A/N: I’m really proud of this chapter so I hope you all will like it! (Picture found on Pinterest)

Warnings: actually none

Masterlist

The day of the performance. You were more nervous about it than any other performance. Maybe it was because of how Shawn had acted the day you had that meeting about the whole ordeal.

“I’m hoping to see you again, Y/N.”

His sultry tone of voice sent shivers down your spine by just thinking of it. It felt like a dream by now, but you knew it wasn’t. 

Annie was asking you about what dress to wear but you couldn’t focus at all. You could barely hear what she was saying, to deep in your own thoughts.

“Aren’t you gonna get ready?”, she asked, looking at you through the mirror.

“No... I um... I get clothes over there.”, you muttered, still deep in thought.

“Oh, so he’s your sugar daddy now?”, she snorted.

“Annie! This is a one time gig!”, you threw a pillow at her.

“Whatever, I think he’s head over heels for you.”, she smiled as she put on her velvet purple, “And when he sees you all dolled up, then God damn!”

“You’re insane sometimes, Annie. You know that, right?”, you chuckled.

“Of course I do!”, she smiled brightly before going back to her make up.

The mansion seemed to be even bigger, but maybe it was the sunset setting in the background that did it. It had to be around 10pm, the party didn’t start until 11.

You barely knocked on the door before someone opened. It was the maid Marilyn. A bright, and relieved, smile appeared on her lips. Now that you looked closer at her she seemed to be so much younger than you thought she was, even younger than you perhaps.

“Ms. Y/L/N, thank God you’re here.”, she said and let you in.

“Is everything okay?”, you asked as Anne followed you close behind, in complete awe over the mansion.

“Yes, everything is ready. Mr. Mendes just wasn’t sure if you were coming.”, she said politely, “But I’ll get you ready as soon as possible.”

Marilyn brought you to a seperate room, it was smaller than Shawn’s office. She brought out a velvet red dress. The straps were thin, that led down to a v-shaped neckline and the skirt flowed far down.

“Mr. Mendes handpicked it himself. He thought it would look good on you.”, Marilyn smiled obliviously, but you could feel Anne staring at you with knowing eyes. But you didn’t give into her stare and simply nodded to Marilyn.

“Thank you, it’s gorgeous.”, you smiled.

You had never seen something like it... and you thought that was it, but then she brought out the accessories.

The black heels matched the black fluffy scarf, while the golden jewelry gave a nice accent to the dress.

“Could you do the make up by yourself, or do you need any help?”, Marilyn asked sweetly.

“I think I’m good. Thank you, honey.”, you said with a smile.

“Then I’ll leave you be. Call if you need anything.”, Marilyn bowed slightly before walking out, closing the door behind her.

“You’re being treated like a damn queen, Y/N.”, Anne laughed as she looked over the make up, “I mean, look at all of this!”

“I don’t even know what half of this is... can you help me?”, you sigh. Anne had been in the make up industry for a while, so you knew she would know what to do.

“Of course, just tell me what you’re going for.”, she grinned.

You put on the dress before she started on your make up. It fit like a glove... sometimes it was scary how well Shawn knew you, even though you had barely talked.

While Anne fixed your make up you put on the jewelry. There were a couple necklaces, a couple bracelets and a pair of dangly earrings. You put up your hair to show them off, though you were sure that no one was going to be looking at your earrings. 

Your hair sat tightly to the back of your head, only a couple pieces falling out in the front.

“And for the final touch!”, Anne picked up a red lipstick along with a sleek brush.

She gently patted the color on your lips, not letting your lips get completely red, just slightly tinting them.

There was a sharp knock at the door and Anne said “Come in” out of pure habit. You saw her eyes widen as you heard the door open. That had to be Shawn then...

“Are you ready, Y/N?”, his sweet voice calmed your nerves for some reason. You stood up, turning around to face him. It looked like all of his flirty words had gotten caught in his throat, and you were enjoying every second of it.

“I am.”, you smiled slightly.

“Great... I’ll lead you out then, so you can get to know the band.”, he cleared his throat, “And your... um... your friend could follow.”

You followed Shawn out the room and could already hear the band practicing. They sounded professional, which only made you more nervous.

The room where the junket would be held was huge. You thought the living room was big, but this was insane. There were two floors; when you first walk in there’s a big room with a bunch of round tables with chairs around them and a stage at the very end of the room. That’s where the band was currently practicing. The second floor could be reached by the marble stairs that were on either side of the room when you first walk in. 

In the ceiling was an enormous crystal crown, with lit candles in it. You had never seen anything so beautiful.

“There’s a balcony upstairs if you need some fresh air between sets, along with bathrooms and other things like that.”, Shawn said, “Think you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”, you nodded, “I should go practice then, I suppose...”

“Go ahead, I’ll be welcoming the guests soon.”, Shawn said and walked out of the big room.

“Holy shit...”, Anne whispered in awe as she looked around.

After practicing for all the songs you were performing tonight, you got behind the curtains just as people started pouring in. Women in beautiful dresses and men in sharp suits.

When the mutters died down you watched as Shawn walked out on stage. He talked for a while, made the audience laugh and showed off his charisma like crazy. In the end of his speech he introduced you, which was the queue for you to walk out.

There were applause and you felt like you were meant to be on stage for the first time in a really long while.

“Thank you Mr. Mendes.”, you said sweetly into the mic, looking over at Shawn.

You counted down for the band to start and when it started a bright smile shined on your face. This was what you wanted when you said you wanted to be a singer. Not bad bars and disgusting men touching you inappropriately, a big fancy room with people who cared about your voice and not your body.

The tables had been pushed to the sides to create a dance floor and you watched with glee as people danced around to the music you and the band was creating.

You saw Shawn standing off to the side, looking at you. Why wasn’t he dancing? Surely some girl would want to dance with the Shawn Mendes.

The next song was a slow, sensual song. You moved your arms around, letting the fluffy feathery texture of the scarf glide over your arms.

As your eyes locked with Shawn’s a slight smirk appeared on your lips and you felt dangerous. 

When the song ended you let the applause die down before you talked.

“Thank you! I’ll be right back after this next gig!”, you smiled and walked off stage.

Anne ran up to you, telling you how amazing you had been and about the man she had been dancing with, genuinely anything she could talk about.

And that’s how the night went, except for the last song. You only had 3 gigs during the night, 6 songs in total. So after the last song you were supposed to leave. But you couldn’t find Anne anywhere. You supposed she was still on the dance floor as the next song started playing.

The adrenaline in your body slowly disappeared and you started feeling the nerves again. Where were you supposed to go?

“Are you alright?”, a strangers voice asked. You turned around to see a young man standing in front of you.

“Yeah, I just need to find my friend...”, you said politely.

“Oh, okay... I just wanted to say that you were amazing up there.”, he smiled, “Really, it was like you were glowing up there.”

“Well, the lights do a lot of the work.”, you joked, “But thank you.”

“No problem, I-”

“Hey, Y/N.”, Shawn walked up to you, “I need to speak with you.”

“Um... I’ll just leave you two be.”, the guy quickly walked away.

“What is it?”, you sighed.

“Just.... follow me...”, he sighed, taking your hand and leading you through the room.

He led you up the stairs and out to the balcony. You hadn’t realized you needed fresh air because of the adrenaline, but now it felt amazing.

“What did you need to talk to about?”, you asked and watched as he put his glass of red wine on the balcony.

“You just looked like you needed some fresh air...”, he said and you could tell he was lying.

“Really? Because I was feeling pretty alright talking to that guy.”, you walked up next to him. He stared at you for a while, until you were the first to break eye contact. You rested your hands against the balcony and looked out.

“I wanted to tell you earlier but... you look beautiful tonight.”, he said softly.

“You picked it out, didn’t you?”, you muttered.

“I just picked something similar to the night we met.”, he said carelessly but you felt your heart started beating faster.

You felt his hand come up to your face to brush away a piece of hair. But your past experiences with that had ended badly so your instincts kicked in, making you quickly turn around to face him. Your hand hit the wine glass, making it hit the floor and spilling it’s contents on Shawn’s white button up shirt.

“I’m so sorry...”, you whispered, asking God to forgive all of your sins because clearly he was going to kill you now...

“No it’s alright, my bedroom’s around the corner... I’ll just go and change.”, he said calmly.

What?

“You’re not mad?”, your breathing steadied.

“It’s just a shirt. Nothing to worry about.”, he shrugged, “I’ll be right back.”

With that, he walked into the house again and a sigh escaped your lips. Then you realized what you had done... he was just trying to push a strand of hair out of your face, why would you think he would do something. If anything he’s the last guy who would do something like that to you, from what you know about him.

You felt your feet slowly start to move to the entrance of the house and looking around. Which way did you see Shawn go? And why did you feel the need to apologies to him?

Maybe it was the drinks you had been given in between gigs from random strangers. That was probably why your head was a bit foggy.

You stumbled over to one of the rooms, the door was slightly open... just enough for you to peak through. You knew it was wrong but you watched as the button up slid off his arms and landed on the floor. His body was like a chiseled greek statue and suddenly you didn’t feel bad for watching.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?”, Shawn’s voice was deeper, with a slight rasp to it.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry-” You only walked in a couple steps before he pressed you up against the wall.

“Shut your pretty mouth up for once.”, he muttered.

“Make me.”, you whispered hoarsely.

He pressed his lips to yours in a heated passionate kiss. Shawn kicked the door shut before he started leading you into the room. You stopped the kiss as he was about to slip off the straps of your dress.

“What about Anne?”, you panted.

“My driver gave her a ride home.”, he said as he planted kisses along your neck.

“So you planned this then?”, you chuckled breathily.

“A bit last minute, but yeah.”, he grinned before he kissed your lips again.

Somewhere along the night your dress came off along with his clothes, but the alcohol made your memory hazy.

By the morning you didn’t remember much. All you knew was that you were laying naked next to a dangerous mob boss in his bed. You tried to escape but his arms were tightly wrapped around you and your throbbing head didn’t help...

But as you tried to get up he mumbled something...

“Please stay.”, Shawn pressed his forehead to your back.

You realized that he wasn’t a dangerous mobster right now. In this moment he was just a man like any other, trying to be vulnerable with you.

As careful as you could, you turned around to face him. His eyes were slightly open because of the sun being in his eyes, which only made his honey brown eyes glow even more.

You took his face in your hands, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, before hugging him closer to you.

“I’ll stay...”, you whispered.

This was a bad idea. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

golden eyes taglist: @star-adorned @itrocksmysocks @justmesadgirl @bellagrayson-wayne@random-writer06 @min-amani @obeysciles​ @adventurousbooknerd@shawnsweetheart​ @someinsanefangirl​ @delightfullyspeedyearthquake​ @futuremrspcy @abbersalp

permanent taglist: @turtoix @wronglanemendes

[supposed2bfunny]

It’s a collaboration for Murdoc’s big day!! @trashfrog99 and I worked together to produce this art and story to celebrate our favorite Satanist! Also, I must credit @elapsed-spiral for the concept of Murdoc’s gift being a sort of “Kong 2.0″ (her words, her story Yearz). That chapter was a huge inspiration for what this story would morph into. Rating: T Warnings: None Murdoc’s grand plan to sleep until approximately four in the afternoon was dashed by the tentative knock on his door around lunchtime. “Boss?” Ace’s voice called, “you up?” He fumbled around blindly until he found a bottle opener on his bedside table and threw it at the door to communicate his annoyance. “I am now,” he growled, sitting up and smoothing his disheveled bedhead as best he could. “Give us a tic, you twat, I’m not decent.” After the pre-birthday celebration that he’d had with Stu, that was a wild understatement. The cap to a bottle of lube and a veritable parade of condom wrappers scattered across the floor as he threw his bed sheets aside and groped around for something to wear. A full two minutes later, he was zipping up a pair of jeans and trying to sort out his rattiest Prince tee-shirt, which seemed determined to remain inside out. “Yeah, what do you want at the ass-crack of dawn anyway?” he asked, opening the door and half-expecting Ace to have vacated already. But the American stood there, sunglasses hanging from the neck of his tee and a smile on his boney face. “Happy birthday, bossman!” he replied, punching Murdoc’s shoulder (he was strong for such a scrawny guy; it hurt). “Fifty-three, bet you never expected to make it that far, huh?” “That’ putting it mildly,” he responded, but he smiled, and he knew that of all people, Ace felt no discomfort with the cryptic humor. “Now can I go back to sleep, or did you want to sing that insipid birthday song to me?” “Actually,” Ace ducked forward to look over Murdoc’s shoulder, then back the way that he had come up the stairs to make sure they were alone. “I wanted to give you a little something. Something the rest of the crew might not appreciate too much, if you catch my drift.” “Gang stuff?” Murdoc asked, perking up and feeling awake for the first time. “Is it drugs?” “No!” the younger man snorted. “You know I don’t do that shit no more. Now hold out your hand.” Murdoc agreed, expression suspicious as Ace reached into his back pocket. A moment later, he dropped something cool and heavy into the bassist’s palm. He withdrew his hand and Murdoc’s eyes widened in amazement. “Brass knuckles? The Gentle Green Giant owns a pair of brass knuckles?” “Owned. Want you to have ‘em, boss.” Murdoc slipped them on, impressed at their weight. He’d never worn a pair before, though he’d known plenty of people in his life who’d owned them between his drug-filled youth and many days in prison. “You never used these,” he accused. “Same as your switchblade. It’s all for show.” “Used ‘em exactly once, actually,” he corrected. “Back when I had my crew in Townsville, some junkie came after one of my guys, Lil Arturo. And little Artie was just a kid, see? I had to protect him. I panicked: punched the guy once, twice, saw blood, ran,” he pushed his long black hair behind his ears. “You know I was never really much of a fighter. But these have been used to protect family, and that’s why I want you to have ‘em. After that experience is when I decided to quit the gang shit and pursue music more seriously. And opening for Gorillaz? That was my first official gig that landed me some cash so’z I could turn my life around.” He took a deep breath and pointed at the brass knuckles. “Those’re significant to me. And all you’ve done to let me stay with you guys, even after you came back from the slammer, well…it’s been significant to me too…” Murdoc could see that Ace was becoming emotional, and though there was a day where he would have laughed at the younger man, he instead placed a hand on his shoulder. “Pretty cool gift, I must admit. Not as great as some blow, but it’ll do.” “They’re not for violence, got it?” Ace looked at him seriously. “They’re symbolic. Using those things changed me, set the course of my life in a new direction!” “Right, right, great life changes and all that, got it, Ace,” he looked into the younger man’s eyes. “You’re uh, you’re all right. For a ‘guido’.” “I’m the one who taught you that word!” Ace snapped, misty eyes suddenly fiery with anger. “You don’t get to call me that! That’s practically a slur, you know!” “Right, riiight, if this little heart-to-heart is over,” he replied, “I’m going to go get some breakfast.” “It’s past noon. That’s lunch, you stupid old man.” “Youth is wasted on the young,” he replied, but he made sure that Ace saw him slip the brass knuckles into his pocket, a new treasure to keep close at all times. In the kitchen he was greeted first by the strong smell of frying bacon, and then by Russel standing at the stove, spatula in hand. “You’re normally up earlier’n this, Russ,” Murdoc commented, eyeing the sizzling bacon with interest. “Everything all right?” “I’ve been up, Muds. This is for you.” “What? A man turns fifty-three and suddenly everyone learns how they should have been treating him all along, huh? I quite like this worship.” “Don’t push your luck. But there’s beans in the microwave; get those out and grab a plate.” “Russel, I could kiss you.” “I can smell your breath from over here, man; you’d better not even think about it.” Murdoc cackled and did as he was told, fetching a plate and finding a Pyrex container of baked beans warmed in the microwave for him. As he spooned some onto his plate, Russel came over with the frying pan, offering him several slices of one of his favorite foods. “Bon appétit.” “Now you wouldn’t happen to have gone the extra step and made—” Russel turned back to the countertop and grabbed two mugs of coffee, sliding one over to the bassist. It was his favorite mug no less: one that had been sent to Stu from someone alleging to be his child, a tired ‘World’s Best Dad’ print across it either a deluded or a very ironic statement. They’d never determined which. While Stu had begged to throw it out, Murdoc had adopted it with glee, smirking every time the singer glared at him for using it. The drummer had a cup himself as well, and they each took a sip, nodding in approval at the taste. Russel had always been of the philosophy that no one should have to eat a meal alone, so he kept the bassist company as he ate, a comfortable silence falling, interrupted only by the sound of silverware scraping the porcelain plate. “We’re getting old,” Russel finally said, watching Murdoc push his plate away with finality although he hadn’t cleared it. His appetite, which had never been big, was even smaller these days. “Yeah, well, not like we’re slowing down,” he countered. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Not when there’s still so much left to do. I mean, you’ve got that bloody non-profit for immigrant kids who want to learn tambourine or whatever.” He pulled a face. “Crass, Murdoc, very crass. But yeah, I have a lot of work cut out for me with the Kids with Drums foundation. I was also thinking that we still have a lot more music to create.” Murdoc paused, clicking his teeth against the ceramic rim of the mug. It was the first time that Russel had been the one to propose more music. “You thinking another album, big boy? Gorillaz or…solo?” Russel smiled enigmatically. “I’m thinking sky’s the limit. But hey, I have a lot to do before tonight’s big dinner, so I’ll leave you to your coffee.” He rapped his knuckles against the table and pushed himself up to leave. “Oi, Russ?” He paused, mid-stride. “Yeah?” Murdoc poked at the remaining beans on his plate with a fork, watching them slide through bacon grease. “You’re the only one in this bloody house who isn’t afraid to fry this shit to a crisp. Well done.” The drummer shook his head. “See you later, asshole.” Once he’d finished his coffee, the bassist carried his dishes to the sink, looking out the small window and into the backyard. First Ace talking about the past and how he’d changed careers, then Russel being all vague about making new music. It felt like they were giving him subtle warnings of change to come, and the bassist felt apprehension begin to coil in his gut. They were offering clues to him, clues that seemed to suggest change. He wasn’t ready to retire yet, and it wasn’t until he dropped his mug into the sink, causing a harsh clatter, that he realized his hands had begun to shake. “Snap out of if Niccals,” he muttered. He was jumping to conclusions, that was all. He hoped. He double checked that the mug had not cracked, and, satisfied, left the dirty dishes for someone else to take care of. He made his way to the screen door in the back of their house, hoping a smoke would calm his nerves. Before he could make it outside, a pair of arms wrapped around his middle from behind and he jumped slightly. “Happy birthday, Dad.” “I appreciate the sentiment, luv, but you only call me that about twice a year.” “Christmas and birthdays, right?” The guitarist asked, squeezing him just slightly, reminding him that in spite of her small stature, she was strong enough to snap him in half if she wanted to. “Proper submarine daughter you are, popping up to show face then disappearing again for six months. Relax, I haven’t written you out of the inheritance yet.” She laughed and turned him around to hug him properly. “Your breath stinks.” “So I’ve been told,” he said with a shrug. “If you think I’m going to brush my teeth on my birthday you’ve got another thing coming. Live with it.” She pretended to gag, but grabbed his wrist, placing something small and metal in it with a simple “here’s your gift.” He looked down to see a house key and again, a wave of nervous energy hit him. “You changed the locks?” he looked at her. “Noods, what happened? Everything okay?” “I can’t tell you all the details; it’s not my story to tell,” she replied, patting his arm. “But don’t worry. I promise you’ll be happy when you hear the whole story. Just don’t lose this key, okay? I have no patience for you tapping on windows asking me to let you in at four in the morning after a night of revelry.” “That only happened once or twice!” he cried in indignation. “Once or twice that you can remember,” she corrected, crossing her arms over her chest. “Happened way more than that. Lucky for you, I forgive you for disturbing my beauty sleep.” “Very generous of you,” he said, pulling out a pack of Lucky Lungs and placing one between his lips, offering her one as well. He really didn’t love that she smoked, but he knew there was no stopping Noodle from doing what she wanted to do. “I’m good,” she replied, holding up a hand. “Care for some company, or was this Murdoc Meditation Hour?” “Was actually looking to sort my thoughts out if it’s all the same to you,” he answered, nodding towards the door. No need to risk slipping up and showing the poor girl how unsettled he was on a day that was supposed to be happy. “Seems that everything is starting to change, have you noticed?” “Change doesn’t have to be bad, Murdoc. Issun saki wa yami. You’ve got the support: whatever comes your way, it will be kind.” “No idea what you just said, but it sounds nice. Thanks, pet.” “Looking forward to dinner tonight,” she said brightly, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “Don’t make yourself sick with cancer sticks: the restaurant is supposed to have amazing desserts.” “I don’t—” “Desserts so good even you will like them!” she corrected herself as she headed back upstairs, presumably to find her partner in crime, Ace. Murdoc sighed and headed outside, enjoying the warmth as the sun broke free from the clouds for a moment. He took a seat on one of the aged folding chairs on the patio, lighting his cigarette and trying to control his thoughts. Something was coming, and he was terrified. Even more upsetting than the promise of unwelcome change however was the fact that he hadn’t once been able to speak the words he wanted to say. To Ace, to Russel, to Noodle. They’d all spent time with him, they’d all been so kind. This time last year, he’d been certain that his moments of fame had ended. Alone in prison and with no contact from his mates, he’d listened despondently as news came through that Gorillaz were producing a new album without him, and he’d smuggled in enough technology to be able to watch in real time as many fans took to social media, celebrating the band’s new bassist and suggesting it was a new era for Gorillaz. A better era. Murdoc shuddered at the memory of his cot in prison, of the time spent reflecting on how quickly the world seemed to forget about him. He’d thought frequently of his father, who had died alone and miserable in his home in Stoke, no one to mourn him, no one to express sympathy for his passing. He’d been so certain that he was destined for the same fate, and that he’d been delusional to hope for a better outcome. Murdoc stubbed out his first cigarette, having smoked it down in record speed. He lit a new one, eyes fixed on the grass sprouting up between cracks in the patio. Stop it, he willed himself. Stop working yourself up. You have to put on a show for the others in a couple of hours. For the love of Satan get it together! The sound of the screen door shuttering open and closed startled him from his thoughts, and he heard someone approaching him. He recognized the ungainly gait by sound alone instantly and searched his anxiety-rattled brain for a dry comment to make. Stuart beat him to it, singing softly, looking ahead at the backyard rather than at his boyfriend. “Why you rolling waves over me now, that’s all I need, dreaming,
waiting on a lover, come find me, be forgiven.” Of course. That bloody song. The most overt declaration of love that the singer had ever offered him, the one that had signaled to Murdoc that their relationship was not irreparable. A fucking beacon of hope when he’d been at such a low point in prison. The bassist drew his lower lip between his teeth and stared doggedly ahead, not wanting to break down although he felt his walls crumbling under the soothing sound of his lover’s voice. “I’ll be a regular guy for you, I never said I’d do that,
why you looking so beautiful to me now when you’re so sad?” Stu turned to look at him as he sang, and although he still didn’t look at the singer, Murdoc felt his eyes grow damp, felt the wetness hanging on his lower lashes, threatening to spill over his cheek. Pathetic. “I will always think about you.
That’s why I’m calling you back
on my way through. I wanna stay with you for a long time, I wanna be your stone, love. 
I wanna see it lay in your eyes when I’m leaving with your love. I will always think about you.
That’s why I’m calling you back
on my way through.” Murdoc sighed, exhaled gray smoke through his nostrils. This man was going to be the death of him, really. He was simply too perfect. “Why you looking sad to me now, on the day of your birth, luv?” he asked, wording it so he could maintain his cadence. “Enough with the damn singing mate.” He grit out, relieved when his voice didn’t crack or waver. “Seriously, answer the question.” Stu replied. “What can I say? Your voice is so angelic it moves me to tears every time.” “Bullshit,” Stuart reached over and plucked the cigarette from between his fingers, taking a puff for himself. “Muds, you were fine this morning. What’s wrong?” The bassist took a deep breath and blinked rapidly until he felt certain he wasn’t going to loose any tears. “Just, feel like a lot is happening these days. Between you and me, I think Ace is getting ready to move on from the band.” Stuart handed him back his cigarette and furrowed his brow. “That makes no sense. He’s signed a contract to remain a studio musician for us for the next few years. I think he’s happy here. Don’t think he’s going to be leaving anytime soon.” The bassist shrugged. “Just a sneaking suspicion. He opened up a bit to me this morning and was being extra nice. And Russel too!” The singer actually snorted at that. “You think Russ is leaving too? What, he and Ace gonna start a new band?” “Mate, I don’t know, but he was being all friendly and chatty with me too. The man is up to something. These Americans, I swear to Satan they’re hard to understand.” “That’s why you were out here sulking? You’re afraid we’re all drifting apart?” The younger man took his boyfriend’s hand, laced their fingers together in the way that always made Murdoc melt a little. “I think you’re just assuming the worst.” “Even Noodle was acting off. She gave me a new house key. You know anything about that, by the way? Why’d she have to have our locks changed?” “She didn’t change the locks on the door.” “Then why this key?!” he snapped, reaching into his pocket and showing it to the singer. Stu looked at it, then looked at his high-strung bandmate. “Muds, why don’t you come inside?” he suggested. “Sure you don’t want to break up with me first, just to keep things fresh?” “Don’t joke like that,” he said sternly, standing up and offering his hand out to the older man, who took it, allowing himself to be pulled up and into a hug. “Murdoc, babe. It’s okay.” “I’m just mental, aren’t I?” he asked. “I feel like a bloody spring about to snap and I don’t know why!” “I think there’s reasons why you might be upset,” the singer argued. “You’ve got a lot of bad memories from last summer. We all know how susceptible you are to PTSD. Are you nervous because this time last year you were alone?” The connection made perfect sense as soon as the singer said it, and Murdoc felt like an ass instantly. “That’s it!” he practically shouted at the poor singer. “That’s why I’ve been so off. My brain is doing that fucking thing that it does. Shit, I’m such a mess!” “Hey, I’ve told you to be kinder to yourself,” the taller man chastised. He had a habit of talking like a therapist sometimes, the result of all the therapy sessions he’d attended. At first it had been annoying, but sometimes Murdoc secretly felt safe in the knowledge that Stu could help him navigate his mind a little bit. “You’re not a mess. You’ve had a tough year. That’s part of why we’re going to celebrate tonight,” he paused to kiss Murdoc with no warning, and the bassist gasped against his mouth in shock. “Gonna spoil you rotten,” he promised gently. “I…” Emotion was flooding through Murdoc’s system once again, but this time, he didn’t feel as panicked. He needed to speak, needed to say what he’d been meaning to say all day. “Oi, old man,” Stu interrupted him, “have I told you today that I love you? Because I do, you know. More and more every day.” “Thank you,” Murdoc garbled. It was somewhere between a prayer and a sob. “Thank you, Stu.” “Of course,” he murmured, stroking the older man’s bangs out of his eyes. “Murdoc. Let’s go inside now, okay?” The bassist allowed himself to be led back inside, his hand gripping the singer’s so tight it had to hurt a little, but Stu didn’t complain. In the living room, he found the other three, Noodle and Ace both splayed out on the couch, occasionally holding up their phones to show the other memes. Russel sat back in his recliner, smiling when the two came in. “There’s the birthday boy.” “All hail,” Ace commented without looking up from his phone. “Har har,” Murdoc responded. “So let’s cut to the chase: is it terminal? Will I live, doctors?” He tried to keep his voice light as he joked, but his hands had begun to shake again, and he could feel Stu’s fingers tighten around his even more, a silent I’m here. “Yeah, we’ve got a big surprise for you,” Noodle said, sitting up straight. “In case you were too dumb to figure it out, the key I gave you isn’t for this house.” “It’s for our new one,” Stu said, letting go of Murdoc’s hand so he could instead wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “Our what now?” “Rumor has it that back around 2007, Kong Studios burned down under ‘mysterious circumstances,’” Russel said. “And knowing a thing or two about criminal activity, I can confirm that that’s code for arson,” Ace quipped. “You cashed in on the insurance money and produced an album,” Noodle continued coolly, and Murdoc tensed at the allusion to Plastic Beach. “And due to its history of zombie invasions, shitty weather, and a whole lot of burned garbage left after Kong was melted down, local governance has had an unbelievably hard time selling that chunk of land that you abandoned.” “So recently, I had this idea, and I think you’re smart enough to fill in the rest.” Stu finished, pressing a kiss to his temple. Everything clicked, and a shiver of excitement ran up Murdoc’s spine. “You mean to tell me you’ve bought the property? The hill in Essex? It’s ours?” “Oh Murdoc, don’t sell me short,” the singer said with a pout. “Not just the land. I spoke to EMI. Well, they want me to call them Parlophone, but it’s EMI, right? They wouldn’t grant me a pence without some sort of contract, so I’ve agreed to their terms. Something in the ballpark of six tours and two albums over the next eight years or something. Pretty manageable by our standards, frankly. Some merch, here and there. I’ll leave that up mostly to Noodle and Ace since they know what the kids like.” “EMI gave us money for this?” Murdoc clarified, feeling dizzy with the news. “Murdoc, darling, they’ve built us a new studio,” he said gently. “We’re going back to England, and we’re going to do amazing things there.” “That key I gave you,” Noodle said. “It’s for our new home. Just like at Kong. It’ll be our living space as well as our music space. We need to make up for the year we lost without you and El Diablo.” “Holy shit…” he reached into his pocket for his Lucky Lungs, only to realize that he’d left them in the backyard. With nothing for his hands to do he could only tremble, too overwhelmed to meet his bandmates’ eyes. “This is too good to be true.” “It’s true,” Stu promised, hugging him tight, doing all he could to comfort him physically. “Happy Birthday, Murdoc. Ready to start the next phase of our lives together?” “Y-yeah, alright,” he agreed, voice watery. “We’re going to get it right this time,” the singer assured. “We’re gonna go back to where it all began.” “We’re ready to crash the music scene with you once again, boss,” Ace promised. “I’ll be there to help out, but this band needs their number one bassist back.” “The goal is to move back by the end of the summer as long as you’re okay with it,” Russel explained. “That way you have time to pack and say goodbyes. And maybe start writing down new ideas so we can hit the ground running.” “Are you happy?” Noodle asked, seeing the bassist’s tense body language. “Yes,” he said quickly. “I think he’s a little overwhelmed,” Stu explained, stroking the older man’s hair. “Give us a minute?” “We were here first—” Ace started, but Noodle smacked his arm and they both rose to leave the house. “Fine, fine! We’ll go. By the way, check out Twitter and Insta, Muds. Hundreds of hits from fans drawing you in your skivvies with cake. It’s hilarious!” “We’ll be back in a few hours to get ready for the dinner reservation,” Noodle promised, shoving the American out the front door and blowing a kiss. “I’m gonna take a walk around the block,” Russel said, patting the bassist’s shoulder as he passed them. “Start mentally preparing to say goodbye to America again.” The front door clattered and the two were left alone, Stu’s hand still smoothing the bassist’s hair as Murdoc took deep breaths to keep himself calm. “Too much?” The singer asked once he was sure they had privacy. “No! This is…this was all…” Murdoc waved his hands, lost for words. “I can’t understand why you lot would do all this for me.” “I mean, it’s really for the whole band,” Stu reasoned. “We wanted it to be a surprise for you though. Because you’re a vital part of the band, and we want you to know that. I know you doubted it, even if you don’t ever admit that out loud. I hope this proves how serious we are about keeping you in Gorillaz, Muds. The reason they were all so nice to you on your birthday…it’s because they all care about you, same as me.” The older man smiled up at him. “I guess I should have thought of that,” he admitted quietly. “But! I can’t believe we get to go back to the place that started it all. Out of the ashes, Gorillaz will rise again like a bloody phoenix!” “Like from Harry Potter?” He was able to laugh now, leaning up to kiss Stu in all his quirky glory. “I’m ready to start again, do it right this time. With my soul mate.” The singer’s cheeks turned pink instantly. “I love when you call me that.” “Yeah,” he stole another kiss. “I know.” “Hey, give me one more! That was too fast!” So Murdoc smiled, wrapping his arms around the singer’s waist and pulling him in for a slower, deeper kiss. “It’s like the song goes,” Stu whispered, arms wrapping around the bassist’s shoulders. “I’m calling you back.” “But what came first, your grand plan to rebuild Kong, or Souk Eye?” They both laughed, giddy with the prospect of a fresh start, of more music. Of more time to learn to say the things they’d been feeling for many, many years.

[superthiccthighssavelives]

One Night

I wanted to read a fic specific to whats in my head, I couldn’t find one, so I took 4 hours to write my own, Enjoy!

Oh if you want a description, its an insert yourself type, one night with Taron Egerton thing, it gets steamy, it has a bit of a long intro but it’s worth it, I promise.

If you wanna know what I was listening to when I wrote this, check out

Woman - City and Colour

Heavy In Your Arms - Florence + the Machine

Muddy Waters - LP

Ok here we go!

I’ve never been one for parties, especially the fancy kind. You know, the kind where you have to actually look like you belong, buy an expensive dress and pretend you fit in.

Working on a movie set was certainly amazing, but all the glam outside of it just wasn’t my style. I’m way more comfortable in jeans and a hoodie. But at least for now, I had to act the part.

It was the wrap party, I was only one of the makeup artists on the set but everyone mattered there. It was a collective effort. I got to know most of the cast on a superficial basis, seen them at their worst, and witnessed tantrums like you’ve never seen. I didn’t work so much with the leads, just some extras and minor characters, but close enough to see all of this happening on a daily basis. But all in all, it was a pretty great gig.

It’s been a long 3 months of shooting, and reshooting, and here we are. Celebrating the end. I’m gonna miss all of it, even the bad parts, the late nights and extremely early mornings. Everyone will move on to the next one, leaving this just another credit on their IMDb page. This was only my second gig, and I still wasn’t used to it. Who knows where I’ll be next.

Back to the party. We were set up in some high rise 10 star hotel, in a ballroom with a terrace overlooking the city. I tried, I really did, but my social skills leave something to be desired, so I made my way out to the balcony with a glass of champagne after aimlessly wandering around nodding and smiling to whoever came in my path. I basically went unnoticed. My dress was uncomfortable, my shoes were hurting my feet and my hair was twisted up too tight, giving me a headache. Sequins and high heels were not for me. I wasn’t much for champagne either, I just held it as I wandered, taking small sips, trying to look like I enjoyed it. The air outside was so wonderful, a nice breeze, not as stuffy and way more relaxing than in that ballroom. Surprisingly, I was the only one out there to enjoy it. The quietness of it all, and the view of the city, that balcony became my favorite place in the world at that moment. I rested against the thin wall separating me from freefalling hundreds of feet down. I was most certainly afraid of heights, but the view was just too breathtaking. I wanted to be as close as possible to the lights, and the stars above. I felt so much peace standing there, gazing at the glitter all around me. I could still hear the faint melody of music traveling from inside, soothing me.

-Taron

These parties were nothing but schmoozing and everyone congratulating themselves for a ‘job well done’. Shooting this movie has been exhausting, it took a lot of me, both physically and mentally. It’s not always fun and games in this business. I was proud to be a part of this though, it was a project I’ve been excited about doing for awhile. I flittered about from group to group, receiving pats on the back and constant 'cheers’ with that annoying clinking of glasses. Truth be told, I was glad shooting was over. I needed a break, I just wanted to sleep for a week and then go eat a cheeseburger. My diet was so strict and working out every day took a lot of out me. I haven’t seen any of my friends or family in months, I was on and off with my girlfriend, the stress just of that alone made me miserable and intolerable for weeks. I got to the point of madness and brought myself back. I had a talk with John, the director, a long talk. After that point, I learned to contain, mostly, the insanity going on inside my head. I made a point to interact with everyone on set, from catering to PAs to the makeup artists. I began to feel better little by little, but of course, not completely.

I needed to relax a bit, have a few more drinks and forget about everything but tonight. I noticed one of the makeup artists here and there, just kind of walking about looking a bit lost. I had seen her in the trailer every day, working on my co-stars, but we never really interacted all that much. Mostly just that cheesy acknowledging smile and random bits of talking about that day of shooting or the weather. After listening to the fifth story of whatever happened on day whatever on set, my eyes wandered around the room, half listening and caught her again. She made her way outside onto the terrace, I can’t say I blame her for making an exit. I’d much rather be at the pub knocking a few pints back with the boys. I excused myself and followed her lead.

-Reader

The champagne glass was still in my hand, feeling heavy. Pouring it over the balcony probably wouldn’t be a good idea, I took a deep breath and just finished it off. Yup, I still didn’t like it. I had a few mixed drinks before this, then the champagne came out, where we toasted and cheered to success and prosperity. I heard footsteps behind me and sighed, there goes my peaceful reflection time. And now I’m going to have to make awkward conversation with someone and pretend I’m interested. Maybe if I just stand here and ignore them, they’ll go away. I can act like I never heard them. I heard a voice say hello and I recognized the accent straight away.

-Taron

She was just standing there, leaning over the balcony, empty glass in her hand. Her dress was glimmering spectacularly against the dark sky. Truth be told, I never paid much attention to her, or much of anyone else really, especially in those dark times. I had been around her for months and only exchanged some meaningless words here and there. Tonight though, felt different. I never noticed it before. I never noticed her.

I found myself spitting out a hello and watched her freeze. I hope I didn’t scare her.

-Reader

I turned toward Taron and awkwardly smiled with a really lame wave, saying 'hey’. “Good idea, coming out here” “Yeah, it was a bit stuffy in there” I wasn’t even looking at him anymore, I was just talking to the city I guess. It was silent for a few seconds. Or minutes. It felt like enternity. “So, it’s over then eh?…the movie” “Yup, I had fun” This conversation was as lame as I had feared it would be. I had no fucking clue how to speak like an adult. I had to find something intelligent, or at least interesting to say. “It was a great experience I mean, learning about the process, seeing how it all comes together from a different perspective” It was silent again, shit, this is why I came out, to avoid this kind of thing. “So we never really introduced ourselves” He turned to face me outstretching his hand “I’m Taron” I smiled, “I know” I took his hand shaking it, kind of, mostly just a weird hand holding, jittery mess. “I’m Y/N” “Well, it’s great to finally meet you Y/N…erm formally”

-Taron

I took her little hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, with a semi awkward handshake. Fuck, I needed a stronger drink than this watered down champagne. “I dont know about you, but this champagne is fucking awful, how about we go find something much, much better?” I don’t know why I asked, I was feeling strange and she was a beautiful girl. I kicked myself for not talking to her sooner. Of course, in all my shameful mess, I wouldn’t have noticed much of anything anyway. I just felt like tonight I needed to do what I felt and forget what was going on inside my head. She looked a little surprised and let out a laugh. “Yes, please!”

-Reader

We headed back inside, trying to stealthily make our way through the groups of people getting drunk off piss water. We reached the door and he grabbed my hand again, leading me to the elevator. I had no idea what was even going on, but I was running with it. I won’t lie, he’s a fucking attractive man. I had a crush on him even before I knew I’d be working on this movie close to him. But I kind of just pushed that away when I saw how much shit he seemed to be going through. I did my job and forgot about it all. The doors dinged open, he pulled me inside with a sly smile. "I know a great pub up the street” “Sure” was all I could say. I stared at my reflection in the shiny doors in front of me. I hope I looked ok, I hadn’t checked myself in hours. I started to feel a little self conscious and I felt a firm squeeze of my hand again. I looked at him and his smile was so big. He looked happy for once. I had seen him so low, so unhappy, it was so great to see that fade away tonight. I hope I could keep that smile on his face. My thoughts went from G to R real quick. Being up close, this close, to him, made my whole body warm. I had an electrifying sensation running through me. I wanted so much in that moment to grab him and feel how soft his lips would be against mine.

-Taron

She was a magnet and I was inching closer and closer to her. I don’t know where this came from, or why, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t regret any of it. I caught her having a moment, staring at herself in the mirror, it looked like some of the happiness was sucked out of her. I squeezed her hand to let her know she didn’t need to worry about that. I wondered if she knew how gorgeous she was. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Her eyes were gleaming, her smile was soft and shy. That dress on her fit so well, it enhanced her amazing subtle curves, I felt how much I wanted her then. I could have stopped this elevator and taken her right there. I can’t believe it took me so long to notice.

-Reader

The doors dinged again once more and we made our way down the street. The pub was alive and loud. Grungy rock was wailing around every inch. We headed to the bar to get some real drinks. I felt his hot breath in my ear asking what I wanted. I shivered, even just that made my lose half my senses. He was still holding my hand. We grabbed our drinks and found a corner. I suddenly felt awkward again. We were a bit overdressed. And these shoes were seriously killing my feet. I couldn’t stand it anymore and ripped them off, the relief was amazing. Sure, I was probably standing in old piss, vomit and alcohol, but at least I wasn’t in pain. It was impossible to have a conversation, we just kind of stood there drinking and taking in the scene in front of us. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, dancing, playing billiards and throwing darts. I tossed my drink back quick, ready for another. Taron quickly made his way back to the bar for a refresher.

-Taron

This beer was 1000 times better than whatever they were serving back at the hotel. I felt my senses coming alive finally. And being here, this close to her, I knew my choice was right. I didn’t know what happens next but I was going to enjoy what I had right now. I got us a couple more drinks, and was feeling the electricity running through me. She had taken off her shoes, and was standing on god knows whatever was on this sticky floor. I watched as she pulled her hair out of whatever contraption was holding it up, letting it cascade over her shoulders. She ran her fingers through it a few times, her eyes closed, looking so relaxed and relieved. I wanted her so fucking bad, with every second that passed.

-Reader

I had to take my hair down, it felt like bricks stacked on top of my head, the fucking relief I felt when it fell was heaven. I tossed it about, not caring too much how it looked, I was feeling real good right about now. His body was so close to me, radiating heat and just…good. I didn’t have any other word in my head but that, good. I wanted to touch him, I wanted to feel his skin and run my hands down his body, feeling every inch. I had to control myself, I knew if I had one or two more drinks it would be over and all my inhibitions would be out the window. That white dress shirt was so well fitted against his chest, and his pants clung to those fucking amazing thick thighs. God, I wanted to be between them. I wanted to do …STOP! I needed to really stop myself from these thoughts. I had to get my mind off of all the dirty things I wanted to do to him. I knocked another drink back and made a beeline for the restroom. I had to get a grip. I splashed some cool water on my face and gave myself a moment.

-Taron

I couldn’t help but smile, this night was shaping up to be loads better than I had imagined. And if I could help it, I was going to make sure it stayed that way. Y/N was on her way back over, even the way she walked was sexy. I was mesmerized by the way her hips swayed, finding myself wondering what other ways they could move. I felt my cock twitch at the thought. She smiled at me, it was a sloppy but happy smile. I could tell she needed this as much as I did. I wanted to feel her against me, but I’m sure fucking her on the bar would be frowned upon, so before she made her way fully back to our dark corner, I grabbed her hand and lead her to the dancefloor. And by dancefloor, I mean just some small space by the jukebox. She trailed her hands lazily up around my neck and my hands found her hips. We swayed to the beat of whatever was playing, our bodies in rhythym. Her head fell back, her eyes closed, she looked so fucking sexy. I pushed myself closer into her, moving my hands farther down, wanting to feel more. I slid one hand slyly over her ass and back up to her hip. Shit, I was going to explode if I didn’t get her to my room soon. The way she moved against me made me ready to bust out of my trousers. Her eyes opened, finding mine, half hooded and glazed with lust. I bit my lip trying to resist the urge of ripping that dress right off her and fucking her senseless in front of everyone.

-Reader

He was so fucking gorgeous, his eyes were such a pretty shade of green? blue? Whatever, they were beautiful. His body felt so good against mine, I could feel the heat and pulse beating hard. I felt like I was dreaming, this was too good to be true. His hands roamed and it felt like heaven. I wanted him to do unspeakable things to me. I watched him bite his lip with a painful look in his eyes. I reached my hand up and ran it through his hair, and stopped myself from grabbing a handful while I smashed my mouth against his. I couldn’t do that yet, not here. I turned myself around, my back against him. I moved to the music, feeling every beat. His hands travelled my body again, running up and down my sides, down to my hips and back up. My head fell against his shoulder, I could feel his nose and lips lightly, barely touching my neck and breathing me in, and his breath was warm and hearty when he whispered “Let’s get out of here”

-Taron

I couldn’t take it anymore, I need to get the fuck out of there and take her back to my room. I needed this, so so bad. She smelled like sweetness and warmth. She was glowing against the dim neon signs illuminating every fucking beautiful feature on her face. I grabbed her hand again and we made our way out of the hot bar. I had trickles of sweat beading up from the number of people and the heat I felt everywhere on my body. We quickly made our way up to my room, the tension charging. The door slammed shut. There was only a slight ray of light making its way through the curtain, from the street light below. I could only see her. She stood against the wall near the bed, hands behind her back, looking timid. I walked slowly toward her, my eyes burned into hers. I placed my hands on either side of her face and just took her in, the look in her eyes, the way she she looked back at me, with need. My lips ached so bad, I needed to feel her mouth on mine. My lips crashed into hers and my head exploded. She tasted as sweet as she smelled. My tongue parted her lips, drinking her in. We kissed like it was the last time we would ever feel anything again. We were so in sync, the energy rushing to my head and down my body, my erection growing harder.

-Reader

His mouth was so warm, and he had the softest lips I’ve ever felt. It was feverish and full of want. I couldn’t get enough. His mouth moved to a spot by my ear and down my neck flicking his tongue against my skin. It felt so good, I almost was ready to burst right then. I grabbed a handful of his hair and brought his lips back to mine. I wanted to kiss him forever. He pushed me harder against the wall, his body heavy and firm. I could feel his cock pushing against the thin fabric of his pants, I wanted to feel it all. I ripped his shirt open popping a few buttons off, watching them fly across the room. My hands greedily felt every inch down his chest, bringing my mouth down to his neck, and licking the sharp angles of his jawline. He let out a small moan and I could feel myself getting wet and ready. I quickly went for his zipper and unfastened the button that was separating me from what I wanted. His pants were off in an instant, leaving him in his boxer briefs, exposing those glorious thighs. I pushed him down to sit on the bed as I slid my dress off my shoulders and down my hips leaving me in just black lace. His hands quickly found my hips again and down to palm my ass while his lips went for my stomach. He kissed and nibbled, lightly sucking my skin inching farther down. I hadn’t felt this sensation of insane lust in years, and I never wanted it to end.

-Taron

Jesus Christ, she was a goddess. Her body was art, slight curves, and smooth skin. I wanted to make sure I covered every inch of her with my hands, my tongue, my own body. She was standing before me in some sexy lacy number and I wanted to rip it off of her. Her hands gripped my hair while I inhaled her sweet skin, kissing and wanting more. She dropped to her knees, her mouth kissing my inner thigh, inching further and further up. Fuck this felt amazing. While her hands ran up my thighs and back down, I gently wrapped her hair in my hands. The electricty I felt when her mouth found my cock was unexplainable. My head was going to explode. I watched her methodically move my erection in and out of her mouth, she knew what she was doing for sure. Her tongue and hand worked together and I felt I was about to combust. I grabbed her and stood back up, turning her around and pushing her back up against the wall. I wanted to drink her in before I ravaged her.

-Reader

In an instant I was up again and my body pressed against the wall. I felt him behind me, hands roaming, his fingertips caressing my skin. He kissed my shoulder lightly, breathing and exhaling hot air all over me. I heard him exhale with a gentle groan as he grabbed my hips and pushed himself hard against me. His hands made their way up and to my bra, his fingers running the outline below my breasts. He found his way inside, caressing and gently gripping the soft skin. It was my turn to let out a moan now. It felt so good. Good seemed to be the only word I knew apparently. I felt the clasp come undone exposing me. He had full access now. He spun me around, his mouth locking down on my nipple, ever so gently sucking. Oh my god, it felt amazing. I was dripping, and throbbing, I need to feel him inside me right now. His mouth took turns on each breast and then back to my lips kissing me with a hasty passion. His hands trailed down, slowly rubbing my inner thigh, bringing my leg up to his waist, while his other hand moved back down agonizingly slow toward my center. His fingers slipped inside the thin fabric and onto my wet skin. The sound that escaped my lips was loud and feral. I was about to burst. He worked his fingers slowly, making sure to cover the most sensitive spots, knowing where to make me feel like I was on fire.

-Taron

She felt so ready, so wet, just for me. I loved that I could make her feel this way, and elicit such primal sounds. I wanted to hear more, I was greedy. Her skin was so soft and so warm. I could feel the sweat beading between us, both of us ready for more. I picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and kissed her lips more. I placed her on the bed, watching her impatient, waiting for me to give her what she wants. I wanted to fuck her like there was no tomorrow but I also wanted to take my sweet time and relish every fucking amazing moment, who knows when I’ll have another night like this. I kissed her ankle, her calf, the inside of her knee, moving up to her inner thigh, and the sensitive skin near that sweet spot. I teased her by kissing everywhere but where she needed it the most. I heard her softly beg 'please’ and I was ready to comply. I lapped up every tiny inch of her. Her clit was swollen and moist, she tasted like heaven. I couldn’t help but smile hearing her moan and try to stop herself from saying the most decadently dirty things. I licked and sucked as much as she could stand, but I didn’t want it to end. I moved my mouth back up, kissing her stomach, breasts and neck. I looked into her eyes as she bit her lip, so ready for what was next. I placed myself over her, and slowly slid my length inside of her. So slow. My breath was jagged in her ear. She felt fucking amazing. I felt like my head was swimming. I was high.

-Reader

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Holy shit, this is so, ugh, god, yes. I could not bear to say that except in my own head. All I could do was moan and move in time with his body. He slid in and out of me so painstakingly slow, making me feel every inch of him. I gripped him as hard as I could and worked my hips in rhthym. I could feel the pace picking up and the mood shifting, neither of us could take it any longer. I needed him, harder, deeper, fucking faster. I quickly rolled over and placed myself on top of him. He was a thing of beauty and I was the luckiest girl in the world right now. I was drunk with pleasure, and of course a bit of alcohol. But even sober this would still feel like the greatest sin. I grabbed his cock and pushed him inside of me once again. I screamed. The fucking feeling was euphoric. I could not imagine anything ever in the history of the world feeling or being as good as right now is. I moved faster and faster, throwing myself back to sit fully on him. His hands found my breasts, his tongue making its way back to them. Oh fuck, how on earth can anything feel SO good?

-Taron

She definitely knows how to move, my cock is so hard and throbbing deep inside of her. My eyes are so glazed over with fucking lust. I can’t help but watch her move on top of me. Shes fucking art, I want to put her in a museum and watch everyone envy her beauty. My hands find her hips and back to her ass. I move her, thrusting up hard and fast, faster, and faster, both of us panting and aching and crying for more. I growl like a fucking animal as our bodies collide over and over, sweat pouring, desire seeping out of us. I’m grabbing her so hard I’m probably brusing her, but in the moment all I care about is this feeling. I can tell shes close, the way her hips are moving and how much she’s grinding down on me. I’m surprised I haven’t cum yet, but this feeling is too amazing to let go of. She squeezes herself so tight I feel like it’s going to crush me but in the best way. A loud moan and pure ecstacy escape her lips and I feel myself ready to burst. With one last thrust, I let it all go. Fuck! I let out another primal scream and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. She collapses on top of me, her chest heaving, out of breath. She moves beside me and rolls over on her back. “Holy fuck” is all she can say.

-Reader

“Holy fuck” There is nothing else to say. This has been…unexpected. I have no idea where to go from here but I cannot imagine anyone had as good of a night as we just did. I am exhausted, and drenched in sweat and him. I feel so relaxed I could fall asleep in 3 seconds. He moves closer to me, on his side, head propped up with his hand. He makes small circles on my stomach with his finger and kisses my shoulder. “Thank you” comes out of his lips. “I had no idea what was going to happen tonight, but I didn’t know it would have been this” I don’t know how to take that. “I had an amazing time, and you are fucking phenomenal” I smile and can’t help but let out a small laugh. “Thanks” “You’re welcome”

-Taron

I don’t know what the hell to do. I haven’t had sex with anyone that wasn’t my girlfriend in so long. Should I ask her to stay? Does she want to? Fuck, I need to turn on the a/c. I need a shower too, I feel like I just bathed in sweat. I don’t want to move, she feels so good next to me. “Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” I nod “Yeah of course love, go at it” “Do you want to join me?” She says through a sly grin walking towards the bathroom. I can’t get up fast enough.  

[totalconway]

Burning Bridges at Christmas...I think

Christmas is by far my favourite time of year! I like all the good will towards man, the spirit of giving, Santa Claus and all that shit. The best part for me is being able to watch Christmas movies and not have to worry about the month I’m watching it in. 

One particular Christmas was special because after less than 2 years of doing Stand Up comedy I was invited to perform at the Sydney Comedy Store for their end of year Christmas shows. This was a huge honour for me because working through the open mic scene in Perth, the feeling amongst the comedians was that being invited to perform at the Sydney Comedy Store was the same as becoming a ‘Made Man’ in a gangster movie, it was the highest honour you could obtain. 

When I got the invitation I was travelling through Port Headland on a 5 week mining tour performing to some of the roughest crowds that I have ever performed for. They weren’t bad crowds, they were just tough and my skill level was not ready to perform for an audience that had just finished a 12 hour shift and just wanted to sit in silence with a few beers and dream of the day they can return home to their families and jet ski’s.

Comedy in my opinion has a lot in common with Shawshank Prison, to get good at it you have to crawl through five football fields of shit and hopefully come out somewhat talented on the other side. At this point in my career I was nowhere it, I was still chiseling through the wall and learning the craft wishing that one day I could get even close to the shit pipes. 

These mining tours however fast tracked my learning and after 2 weeks on the road I learnt that I was well and truly crawling through the shit pipes. Weeks of bombing in front of miners was a depressing experience made even worse by the fact I couldn’t drown my sorrows because all the mine sites we performed at were Mid strength mine sites. Drowning your sorrows with mid strength alcohol is like trying to combat your heroin addiction with milk shakes.

One of the stops of the mining tour was Port Headland. A massive shit hole to most people, for me it was my favourite part of the tour purely for the fact that my Vodafone phone would get reception and I was able to check my missed calls and emails. During our drive through Port Headland my spirits were lifted when I received an email from the Sydney Comedy Store inviting me to perform for their Christmas shows. I was ecstatic and told the guys I was touring with that after this mining tour I would be heading to Sydney to perform at the Comedy Store. In unison they all looked at each other with a look I can only describe as “How the fuck is this guy getting a gig at the Comedy Store”. In reality they probably didn’t give a shit that I would be making $50 a night when they were going to be making thousands of dollars doing cruise ships or whatever they had planned. Whatever they thought I didn’t care, in my mind I was finally going to become a ‘Made Man’.

In the Perth open mic scene, I was best mates with a group of guys who would regularly fly over to Sydney to perform at the Comedy Store. Lucky for me they gave me the inside scoop on what to do when you get there, how to conduct yourself, essentially performing at the Comedy Store has the same rules as performing anywhere “Try not to be shit, and don’t be a cunt” pretty easy rules to follow. Being shit can be subjective but it’s pretty obvious if someone is being a cunt and in most places it won’t be tolerated. The Comedy Store is one of those places. I know a story of a comedian who managed to worm his way in to perform at the Comedy Store and got banned for snapping his fingers at the bar staff trying to get served like he was a Wall Street guy at Hooters. I know the comedian and he’s got that spoilt little rich kid demeanor kinda like Joffery in Game of Thrones except more cunty.

Now a little back story before I get into the next part, when I was starting out the group of friends I hung with would always bust each others balls in the most fake macho bravado way possible. Someone would say “Don’t be shit tonight” and they would respond “I’ll kill you cunt” and they would respond “I’ll bash your whole family”. Writing it out now sounds terrible but that’s how it was and  everyone would always laugh and joke when we did it. I was still new and incredibly naive, I thought I had stumbled across some secret “In” joke that only professional comedians knew and not just a running joke amongst the 10 open mic comedians I would regularly perform with.

I flew over to Sydney with hope in my heart and some ‘insider’ tips on how to fit in with the crew there. I remember one of the main things I was really looking forward to was seeing my name in the big bright lights on the Sydney Comedy Store. The sign that would shine out to let the world know I was a legit comedian worth seeing. I remember walking down the alley trying to act as cool as possible but really feeling giddy with excitement for the moment I’d see my name on that sign for the first time. I remember walking up with my eyes facing down, then I casually took a look up and my name was nowhere to be seen. They hadn’t put my name on the board! It didn’t really upset me but after 5 weeks of bombing on mine sites seeing my name in lights at the Sydney Comedy Store would have been a nice bit of sugar for my ego. 

The reason why my name wasn’t on the board is because I was doing a two week run and unless you’re a superstar they only put your name up for the second week of your run, so I still got my name in lights and got a few happy snaps for the memory book.

One piece of advice I got for when you start out at the Comedy Store was to bring a bottle of Jamieson and some cigarettes to drink with the staff afterwards. The staff at the Comedy Store were the guys you wanted to be hanging with after the show, there was no real professional networking reason for this, they were just cool people to hang out with. So I made sure to bring two bottles of Jamieson and 2 packs of smokes, not only for the staff but also as a sacrifice to the Comedy Gods to let them know I was taking this opportunity seriously. As it turned out it wasn’t a big enough sacrifice because I bombed for 2 weeks straight. I knew it was bad, but it didn’t sink in at how bad it was until the Booker called me after the second or third gig to say that I should just do my Raw Comedy set. I was devastated, I called up my friends in Perth to ask what I should do and they said they didn’t know. They had never received a phone call from a Booker like that before, they also laughed in my face which is always humbling. In their defence I would of done the same thing. 

I decided to put my head down and try to fix what I had, and I managed to turn my shit shows from bad to just kinda bad. 

Despite the shows going badly it was still a worth while experience. I became good mates with the staff and I’m still mates with them today. After every gig we would hang out and drink, smoke and talk shit. The 2 week run was awesome because I became mates with the other comedians as well who were a mix of TV and radio stars and guys who were on the cusp of becoming the next TV and radio stars. 

The biggest name on the line up was staying at the same hotel as me. I was told by everyone he’s the nicest dude in comedy and he’s the sort of dude that would do anything for you, the utmost gentlemen. So I decided to walk back to the hotel with him one night. I don’t know whether it was the Jamieson or the weed but I thought i’m going to let him know that I know the "In” jokes that all comedians know (still blissfully unaware this is just a shitty joke amongst open micers in Perth). So we were walking and chatting and we came across a house party and I turned to him and said “We should go in there”. He said “Why would we do that” and I said “I don’t know, to bash em”. He looked at me like what the fuck are you talking about, but in my mind he’s throwing me lob balls to hit out of the park. Then he said “Dude why would we go in there and bash them”. At this point I’ve finished the joke so him asking me why would we bash them?, felt like he was testing me by taking me into deep water where I’d have to riff my way out, so I said the funniest thing I could think of and I said “because we’re from the streets”. I think the rest of the walk home was probably a lot more awkward for him than it was for me.

We got to the hotel, shook hands and went our separate ways. I didn’t think anything of it until I was in Melbourne a few months later and I was sitting with a group of comedians in the artist bar and he walked in. He went around the table shaking everyone’s hand with a big smile on his face and came to me and  shakes my hand but looks at me like I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world. I’m trying to think if I had bumped into him already at this festival (I may have had a few big nights with one or two blackouts at that festival) and made a cunt of myself. I thought surely he’s not mad at the “We’re from the streets” comment? it was clearly a joke, that couldn’t be it. Then I thought it might have been because I put on such an amateur performance at the Comedy Store but that couldn’t be it either because I saw him shaking hands with comedians who are way shitter than me like that fucking Joffery cunt. So it must have been the “because we’re from the streets” line. (which I find funny) I’ve bombed in rooms where the Booker doesn’t want me back on the line up again but I’ve never bombed a conversation to the point where the person never wanted to see me again (Excluding first dates). 

I haven’t seen him since the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I mean I have seen him he’s fucking everywhere but hopefully we can cross paths again and I can remind him where we come from- The Motherfucking Streets!

I’ve been back to the Comedy Store in Sydney numerous times since and have had some amazing gigs. Once opening for Eddie Ifft and Tony Hinchliffe both from the USA. Even though the staff from the first gig there have moved on to bigger things, I still make a point of bringing a bottle of Jamieson and Cigarettes as my sacrifice to the Comedy Gods and to spread some Christmas cheer no matter what time of year.   

[evanstanwrites]

Goldie’s

pairing: Clay Appuzzo X OFC (Kelly)

A/N: this fluffy fic was requested by @bucky-barnes-protecter 

A/N: co writer: @pawfect-melody

It was Kelly's first day at Goldie's, the goal was to be singing there but she had to prove herself first. So she started out as a waitress, serving and cleaning the tables by day. She didn't really like it but she wanted to sing so badly. Once the doors of Goldie's closed she didn't care and she sang while she swept the floor of the stage, thinking that nobody could hear her. Most of her coworkers were working in the backroom or those who where cleaning with her were wearing headphones.

Her coworkers didn’t really care what she was doing, they minded their own business or just rudely ignored her. She had left her hometown to for the opportunity to work here and maybe later sing, it was her big dream to finally be able and sing on stage for people. she had left her friends and family for this but now she was wondering if the lonely feeling was worth it.

Days went by without something special happening till one day a not so unknown stranger entered Goldie's. 

Everyone knew his name, knew what he looked like and that he was one of the best comedians to grace the earth. 

Clay Appuzzo.

She saw him the moment he stepped a foot through the door, he was gorgeous and she was captivated by him the moment his soft eyes met hers. His sparkling blue eyes held hers till he found a spot to sit at one of the tables closest to the exit. It was one of her tables. So she picked up her rag and made her way over to his table. She quickly cleaned his table before standing tall, give him one of her biggest smiles and started to talk: 

"good afternoon and welcome to Goldie's, what can I get you Sir?" 

“just a beer sweetheart.” he said with a sweet smile

Kelly gives a soft giggle at his use of a pet name as she fixes her glasses on top of her nose. She was enthralled by him already.

“one beer coming right up.” she said trying not to show she was blushing and made her way back to the bar to put up his order. 

“Clay’s watching you.” Peter one of the bartenders said.

she looked over her shoulder but failed at doing it discreetly, Clay was indeed watching her and once he saw her looking back at him he gave her a small wave. 

little did she know he was also captivated with her maybe even more. he wanted to get to know her, to know everything there was to know about her. maybe it was the way she looked, shoulder length brown hair with purple strands in it, blue eyes behind glasses and soft thick thighs or the way she smiled at him. he didn’t know but what he did know was that he suddenly had a reason to come down here more.

Clay comes back to Goldie’s almost every day during Kelly’s shift, sits at one of her tables and watches her work for the rest of the night. 

they didn’t talk much but he felt like he already knew her. he knows she left her hometown, friends and family to work and sing here, he also knew she didn’t really get along with her coworkers. He fell for her and was sure he was head over heels for her. but he never acted on his feelings for her, he didn’t know how she felt and he wasn’t ready to be rejected by her. so he kept quiet and kept admiring her from afar.

things had also changed for Kelly, one night while cleaning with her usual singing her boss stood there watching and listening.

“You have a good voice girl, I can see now I should have allowed you to sing from the start. you’ll sing the pre comedian show from now on.” he said as a matter of factly and walked back into his office without even waiting for a response from her. 

the comedian show was always the biggest event of the week so the bar was always packed that day. Singing for the preshow was an amazing opportunity. 

She finally got what she wanted, she was finally singing on the stage of Goldie’s with a big audience. but there was one thing missing, she still felt an emptiness deep inside her heart, Clay. 

Clay hasn’t shown up at Goldie’s for a little over a week. she missed him, his smile, his laugh, the way he talked and listened to her. 

she needed him here, it was her first night singing and she wanted to share this experience with him, she wanted him to help calm her nerves. in one of their short talks he told her he was always nervous before a gig. but she had to focus on something different so she wouldn’t fuck up. She took a deep breath in and out before she walked out on the stage, everyone was quiet and looking at her making her even more nervous. She didn’t have time to act on it because the music to her song had already started.

Can anybody hear me

Or am I talking to myself

My mind is running empty

In the search for someone else

Who doesn't look right through me

Clay walked inside of Goldie’s after almost a week not showing up, he was avoiding this place, avoiding Kelly. he was afraid that the moment he would see her he would just blurt out that he  was in love with her so he chickened out and took the cowards way. Now coming back to Goldie’s he was sure, he was going to tell her how he felt. once he was inside he was met with an angel like voice, Kelly’s voice. she was finally up on that stage like she wanted. seeing her up there he felt like he was falling even more in love with her. but she looked sad and when he listened closely to her song he could feel it, she really felt lonely.

I'm deafened by the silence

Is it something that I've done

I know that there are millions

I can't be the only one who's so disconnected

It's so different in my head

Can anybody tell me why

I'm lonely like a satellite?

It felt amazing standing on stage, yes everyone was still looking at her but this time it was with a different look on their face. they enjoyed it, they enjoyed her singing. 

maybe over time she could fill the emptiness in her heart like this, if she really tried her best. maybe she could get over Clay, because she lost almost all hope in seeing him again..

So tonight I'm calling all astronauts

All the lonely people that the world forgot

If you hear my voice, come pick me up

Are you out there?

'Cause you're all I've got

Kelly hadn’t fully ended her sentence when she felt arms wrapping around her. she wanted to scream but before she could she heard a familiar voice whisper in her ear:

“I’m here sweetheart, you’re not alone. you got me if you’ll have me?”

knowing who’s voice it was she turned around in the embrace and finally after more than a whole week she looked back into those sparkling blue eyes.

“Clay? you’re back?” she whispered

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I was scared.”

“of what? you can tell me anything.” she said placing one of her hands on his cheek. that was all the encouragement he needed to close the gap between them and finally kiss her forgetting about the audience they had that all stood applauding them.

Please don’t forget to like, comment or reblog

tags:

@thisismysecrethappyplace 

@jamesbuckybarnes13

@lolabean1998

@seasidebarnes

@heyohheyitsgabi

@loricameback

[rosytteok]

☇pairing;; photographer!jungkook x reader

☇genre;; cotton candy fluff, wedding!au, photographer!au, sorta soulmate!au but not???

☇warnings/side notes;; none really, only fluff uwu. unedited asdfghjkl and uhh I was nervous and hesitant to post this but uh yeah let’s get it ajkdksks. This was heavily inspired by an actual wedding I attended to so djdkjdk and also yeah I had a slight crush on the photographer🤫

☇summary;; soulmates don’t exis— oh wait, that cute photographer didn’t just reach for the same, last double chocolate chip cookie as you, did he? And he’s now stuffing it in his stupidly handsome face once you gave it up? With his eyes legitimately glittering? And plump rosy cheeks puffing out? Or is it just the shitty lighting?

☇word count;; 1.k ws.

You’re ravenous. The half of reception had been occupied by the bride’s dear maid of honor yammering about how quirky and exceptionally shy they were on their first date—that she, not so shockingly, had tagged along to. And, of course, not to mention the bride’s parents reminiscing the groom’s sweaty palms and uncontrollable stutter the moment he asked for their blessing. You must admit though, every memory retold and story shared was beautiful and great but—you were already starting to wonder when the food would be served. The bride is a good and close friend of yours so you know she wouldn’t mind it one bit if you sneak off and have a quick bite.

“Everyone, please do help yourselves at the candy and fruit bar. The bars are open for your exclusive delight.”

With those simple sentences said, you were swiftly out of your seat, making a beeline towards that delectable platters of desserts. Amidst your attempts to get to the bar first, your plans of feasting on the treats were spoiled by a swarming wave of people enveloping the table whole, greedily pilling their plates high of pure sugar. You found yourself caught in the clowd, smushed between two of the groom’s bachelor friends. You weren’t they only one starving, it seemed.

The horde dissolved into nothing after a good amount of minutes, leaving behind bits of fruits and teensy crumbs scattered across the lavender tablecloth. From your safe little corner, you spotted a single double chocolate chip cookie hidden behind the vase of a small bouquet of camellias, baby’s breath and Japanese anemone; your friend’s personal favorites.

Your mouth watered on the spot; a huge chunky and chocolaty cookie sat alone and it was all yours for the taking. Quickly enough, you dash from your corner and you reach for it only to be met with a stump on the way. Your hand meets with another, this one much more larger and stronger than yours, you notice. You also take into notice that your fingers were awkwardly tangled, the stranger’s ringed thumb locked on your index finger and the rest casually grazing yours.

“Ah—sorry.” They speak, voice rich and soft.

“It’s alright,” you assured with equal softness, slowly turning to meet with this stranger. Your eyes grow comically wide; the cute photographer that had been moving around side to side all night, adjusting the camera, cleaning the lens and snapping amazing shots of your dear friend and her new life partner was grinning softly upon you. The cute photographer that’s all dolled up in a simple white dress shirt tucked into some black jeans and a suit jacket, deep chestnut hair parted and styled neatly. A combination he only seemed to make work. He’s undeniably gorgeous, you won’t deny that.

Throughout the entirety of the ceremony, you observe how his eyes seemed to hold every single twinkling star in the sky, and how they shined even brighter when he looked at the pictures. He really loved this, huh?

“Please, have it. You must be starving, after all you have been working all night.” He nibbles on his pink bottom lip, chuckling softly and doing a slight head tilt, “You sure?”

“Absolutely.” You gave him green light so he dives in. You’re surprised by how rapidly he snatches it, munching eagerly on the treat. Soon he realizes you are still standing right in front of him, glistening doe eyes looking directly into your whole being and soul and with rosy cheeks stuffed. The beautiful glisten in his eyes could be also due to the crappy lighting but you’ll stick with your own belief. The gods littered the only the prettiest of galaxies in his pupils. Period.

You handed him a nearby napkin, which he politely accepts. He coughs and clears his throat, “I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

“Y/N.”

He seemed unsteady; rocking on his feet and his eyes wandering amongst the cheering crowd. The music was obnoxiously loud and some genius had the idea to start a conga line, which by the looks of it, Jungkook didn’t want to be a part of that. Frankly, neither did you. “Hey, wanna go outside? It’s a bit stuffy in here, don’t you think?”

The perfect excuse to chat and avoid being forced into mingling with strangers.

A chilly breeze nipped at your skin, it was surely a lovely breath of fresh air. The stars were quite bright tonight, not failing resemble the unusual glint in Jungkook’s eyes. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder how is it that he manage to elicit a sudden light spark of warmth in you, an unanticipated feeling.

Love at first sight wasn’t as picture perfect as fairytales portraying them to be but maybe, just maybe, this cute photographer may have prompted something. Well, at least, you believe it is that way. You’re not certain of whom he is, his likes—other than acknowledging his affinity for photography—or dislikes. It just may be the case that he didn’t experiment a similar stir, as silly as it may sound.

Destiny was not always supportive nor on anyone’s side, life took the most unexpected twists and turns in the most surprising moments, soulmates did most certainly not exis—

“Um, thanks for sacrificing your hunger for mine. I know it’s not much of a big deal but, only if you’re ok with it, I’d like to repay your kind deed.”

You laugh loudly, as if he was joking but the stern look on his face as he stare at you confirmed what you thought was a wholesome joke. “Oh, really? I mean it was just a cookie, nothing special—,”

He shoves his hands into his jeans’ pockets, turning on his heel, “That’s a shame, really. I was hoping you’d be interested in getting some dessert after this with me, my treat, but if you don’t want to that’s al—,”

You latched hurriedly onto his sleeve, “Wait! That new dessert parlor that just opened downtown?”

He chortles, a soft smile adorning his lips, “You got it. Meet me right here after this whole gig is over, alright?”

“Copy that.”

Perhaps, this wasn’t just a mere coincidence. Just maybe.

[ijustwant2write]

The New Opie-Jax Teller x Reader (Part 2)

(GIF credit to @kylmatalvi)

Part 1

Masterlist

Summary: After finding out about the unexpected pregnancy, Jax and (Y/N) take everything into consideration, wondering if the new family member would really be a good idea; especially when (Y/N) is branded as the club presidents new play toy.

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Standing behind the bar of the empty clubhouse, I stared intensely at my stomach, wondering how much my body was going to change over the course of the next few months. Everyone knew how pregnancy worked more or less, but to experience it was a whole different thing. How was my pregnancy going to be? Would it be filled with me being sick almost every day? Having the biggest, swollen ankles the world had ever seen? Or would it be smoother, perhaps I would have one of those miracle pregnancies which all women are jealous about? Wait....where would Jax be in all of this? I didn’t know what his situation was at the moment, whether or not he had really called things off with Tara, or if he was still interested in the baby. The only people that knew were Chibs, Gemma, Jax and obviously Tara, I wasn’t sure how to break it to the others.

“So you’re gonna keep it?” Gemma asked as she took a seat at the bar.

My lips formed a tight line as I nodded.“Yeah. Jax wanted to keep it too. I just don’t know how everything is going to turn out.”

“That’s life for ya’. Planning to tell the others any time soon?”

“Yeah, just not sure how.”

“Might as well do it now, cause here they come.”

As they filed out of church, I couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous. It wasn’t my place to tell them without Jax, and we still had to talk through everything properly. They were all smiles as they spotted me, some leaning over the bar to hug and kiss me as I tried to mask the fear. Tig joined me behind the bar, grabbing shot glasses for everyone, pouring out the strongest tequila; standing by confused, I watched as the others grabbed them, all watching me. Shit, I couldn’t drink, what was I supposed to do?

“(Y/N), these shots are for you.” Tig started as everyone raised their shot glasses.

“Uh, why?” I asked, eyeing up Jax as he smirked at me.

“Did you really think you could keep a secret like that from us?”

“What secret-”

“They know (Y/N).” Jax explained.

“You told them without me?!”

“We forced him too, had to stick our noses in it.” Tig wrapped an arm around me.

“Well, what do you all think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, the situation we’re in.”

Jax sighed.“(Y/N), don’t-”

“No, I’m genuinely curious, what did you guys think when he told you?”

Bobby spoke up.“If you think we’re judging you then I’m a little disappointed in you. Who cares that it weren’t planned? You and Jax have been messing around since you were teenagers, it’s about time something brought you two together.”

“But Tara-”

“Stop stressing lass, it’s not good for the baby.” Chibs warned me.“Now are we toasting or what?”

Although I was happy that I had all these amazing people around me, I still felt awful about the entire situation. I had broken up a family (even if they were going through their own problems). The kids were going to be so confused, Tara would have a target on the back of my head for the rest of my life, and I actually had to sort out everything for this baby. Everything was happening too fast, nothing was being fixed yet, I couldn’t figure it out.

“Thought you would be out here.” I heard Jax as he approached me by Opie’s grave.

I looked up at him, hoping that he wasn’t going to tear me away from this place. Luckily he sat beside me, glancing at Opie’s gravestone.

“(Y/N), why would you ever think the guys would judge you?”

“I dunno. I guess I never imagined me doing anything like this. Always thought that I would have a clean slate, you know, not breaking up families.”

Jax tilted his bed back.“You didn’t do that, I did.”

“You can’t rule me out though. It’s not like we settled down together after you had a clean divorce and planned this baby! Speaking of which, are you even divorcing Tara?”

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I?! And we’re already settling down, I’ve known you for my whole life! I know how to make you happy.”

“You’re not doing a good job of it now.” I snapped as I felt hot tears appear.

Jax just stared at me for a few seconds before nodding to himself.“(Y/N), are you worried about what Opie would think?”

“What?”

He wrapped an arm around me.“You’ve only just lost your brother and all of this shit has just been dumped on you. It’s a lot, but you gotta know that Opie would support you through whatever.”

“I know it’s just...I promised him that I would look after everyone and keep things calm, and so far I’ve done a terrible job.”

“You are not responsible for everyone, especially now.”

“I just want things to be the way they were. I want him back!”

“Me too, me too.” He held me close as I wailed, letting out the pent up tears and emotions; I blamed it on the hormones.“Do you still want to call him Opie?”

“If the baby is a he.” I sniffed, glad that he was trying to distract me.

“I’m staying with you tonight.”

“You don’t have to-”

“(Y/N), you’re my girl, I want to be with you.” He kissed my forehead sweetly.

“You’re really serious about this? You want this baby with me?”

“Yes. I’ll be there for every checkup, every time you crave something, every time you throw up your guts in the morning. I’m gonna be with you through it all.”

Weeks passed by, already leading me to my second trimester. Although I had felt symptoms from day one, seeing my bump made it all the more real. Everyone stayed true to their word and supported me, especially Jax. He had officially moved in with me, filing for a divorce with Tara alongside running the club. So much was happening around us, not all of it good either. Although Tara was adamant that she wanted Jax to stay away from her, she couldn’t deny him the right of seeing his children, especially since Abel wasn’t even her child. Today was one of those days, but Jax wasn’t home, having an emergency at the club; as I waddled over to the door, I could only imagine what sort of conversation would ensue.

“Hi.” I greeted trying to be civil.

“Hi.” Tara plainly replied.“The boys have their usual things, Abel has some reading homework though so that will have to be done.”

I nodded, smiling down at the boys as Abel dragged his younger brother into the house.“I’ll make sure that gets done. Thanks for dropping them off.”

“Yeah, is Jax here?”

Oh god, here we go.

“Uh, no. Just got a bit busy but he’ll be back soon.”

“I need to speak with him.”

“I’ll make sure he calls you.”

“No need. I can wait.”

“He might be a while.”

“All the more reason for me to stay, you’re a pregnant woman, it’s not good for you to be on your feet all day.”

She slipped past me, that annoying smirk showing on her face. Making herself at home, I unwillingly followed her to the living room, watching the boys struggle to turn on the TV. Tara beat me to it, taking the remote from them to turn on their cartoons. 

“Must be stressful.” Tara started, following me to the kitchen. I was not about to argue in front of the kids.

“What?”

“You’re pregnant with the president of an outlaw biker gangs baby-”

“Well you would know what that feels like.”

She glared at me.“You’re also breaking up a family, causing problems for me and your brother just died.”

My eyes widened.“Excuse me?”

“It’s not good for you.”

“You can talk shit about anything, I don’t care if you spread the nastiest rumours about me, but you will never mention my brother again!”

She seemed like she regretted what she said, but tried to stand her ground.“We were fine until you slept with Jax.”

“Who are you kidding Tara? He came to me because you were arguing. He was done with the relationship a long time ago.”

“You are so lucky to be pregnant right now-”

“You and me both. But I don’t really want to be giving birth in prison.” I crossed my arms on top of my bump, waiting to see if she would snap back. When she didn’t, I spoke again.“Tara, I know what I’ve done. I never had any intention of doing this. But Jax has moved on, you need to as well. We’re gonna be seeing each other a lot because of Able and Thomas, so I suggest we get along somehow. Don’t let these kids grow up around this, especially mine.”

“I’ll talk to Jax later.” She stated, kissing the boys on their heads before leaving.

I watched her drive off from the living room window, hating the fact that she wanted to make this difficult. Jax had a lot to answer for when he came home, I couldn’t be under this much stress. Glancing back to Abel and Thomas, who were in a hypnotic trance with the TV, I prayed for an easy babysitting gig, their mom was enough work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The third trimester.

I was almost there, so close, yet so far.

It only took four steps for me to be out of breath, I truly believed that I had the biggest baby in history. As Jax helped me into the passenger side of the car, I groaned as he struggled to put on my seat belt.

“The sooner he’s out, the better we’ll all be.”

Jax was trying not to laugh, knowing how angry I would be if I caught him doing so. He jogged to the drivers side, buckling himself in before hesitating. 

“Jax?”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“What?”

“We’re having a baby.”

“Did it really take you until my eighth month to figure that out?”

“I was the same with Abel and Thomas. It never gets normal.”

“Well you can take as many night shifts to make it normal.”

I relied heavily on Jax as we approached Opie’s grave, having him lay down the flowers for me. I kissed my fingers, laying it on the gravestone tenderly.

“Well, we’re almost there Ope,” I started,“he’ll be coming soon.”

“Two more weeks.” Jax squeezed my hand.

“He must know that his name is Opie cause he’s been giving me trouble since day one.”

“Wish you were here to see it brother.”

“You would be an amazing uncle.”

“We’ll tell him all about you. Our Ope is gonna know everything about you.”

“And he’ll play with your kids, they’ll be close cousins that play and bicker with each other all the time.”

“Yeah and...babe you OK?”

My hand had shot to my stomach, a sharp pain erupting through me. I hadn’t felt anything like this before, and my instincts knew what was about to go down.

“Jax, we need to move!” I panicked, trying to take quick steps.

“Woah, slow down, is it happening?!”

“I think so and I am not breaking my waters on my brothers grave!” 

We stumbled to the pathway away from all the graves. I let out a high pitched gasp as liquid shot down my legs, indicating that I was about to go into labour.

“Jax, he’s not supposed to come yet!”

“I know, I know, don’t panic!” Jax tried to stay calm.

“My overnight bag is at home, all the things I need-”

“Don’t worry about that, we just need to get you to a hospital!”

Jax sped down the roads, thinking he was on his bike as we rushed to the hospital. Not being able to speak (I was screaming and groaning in agony, no one else needed to hear that), I messaged family members rapidly, begging for someone to bring me my things. I hated that this was unorganised, I hated that I couldn’t plan this, why were babies so difficult?!

After going through the most painful, torturous hours of my life, I finally gave birth to my son, Opie. Jax was beside me for every moment, letting me crush every bone in his hand, having me shout and curse in his face before serenity reached us.

“Opie, he’s finally here.” Jax breathed as our baby was rested on my chest.

I started uncontrollably crying.“He’s here, he’s here and I already love him so much.”

“You’re named after one of the greatest people we ever knew, and I just know you’re gonna live up to that name.”

“You’re the new Opie, but we’ll never forget the old one.”

[vanfics]

002 - Conversation

Hello again, first of all thanks for following this blog and for the likes. Secondly, this is the second vanfic that I write, and again please correct me if there's any error. When I was writing it I didn't notice how similiar it was to Conversation -the song- just when I was checking it I realized that it was basically the same idea, lol. I know the song is about Van's dad but anyways, guess that it was stuck somewhere on my brain or something. Hope you like it, leave a comment if you want, I'd love to read what you think about it. Okay, bye. Have a nice day.

Cooking was one of your favorite things to do. Since you were a little child, you begged your mom to let you play with the kitchen utensils and copied her recipes, trying to follow her steps. She loved it, too, but it was just a hobby for her, never thought about doing it for living. You did. You studied hard, playing attention to the master chefs in the institute, practicing at home, cooking for your friends, family and yourself. Then, when you graduated as chef and found a job at one luxury hotel. It was one of your biggest achievements.

At first it was a nightmare, being young and female wasn’t the best for start. You had to prove everyone, specially your boss, that you were capable of doing your job. It was exhausting. Many times you cried hiding between the flour bags at the back of the kitchen. But besides that, it was an amazing experience. Cooking fancy food, for many people, working with a big team. It was like you won the lottery. And that’s how you met Van. The golden ticket.

That day was one of the most stressful days of your entire life. Your boss didn’t show up at work, he called saying he was sick and left you in charge. By the end of the day you almost cried of tiredness. You just wanted to go home and go directly to bed. But God or the universe, or whatever who rule the world, had other plans for you.

You told your co-workers to go home. They worked hard and were as much tired as you. They deserved to rest. You finished washing your hands and let go a heavy sigh when Lucy, the manager, appeared from the salon and gave you a fake smile.

“Do you have any knife close to you?” she asked and you frowned.

“Yeah it’s a kitchen, duh” you said, joking. She was a few years older than you and already ruled the hotel. She was usually at the night shift so you would only see her arrive when you were about to leave, but she was always nice and friendly.

“I know, but please don’t take any of it” Lucy implored “please don’t kill me”

“Why? what happened?”

“We need one more thing and then you can leave, I promise but first... “ she made a pause “I need you to cook for six people.”

Your jaw dropped.

“SIX PEOPLE?!?! It’s almost midnight are you kidding me?” your voice sounded piched.

“I wish but no” she looked serious “there’s a rock band staying here, with their crew, they came back from the show and asked for dinner, sorry, I thought you knew…”

Of course you didn’t, otherwise you wouldn’t let all your team leave you alone cooking for a bunch of people. Your boss didn’t say anything. He just left you on charge of the Titanic.

“They didn’t ask for a special menu so just do something quick and then you can go home” Lucy said as if you had a choice. You just nodded and gave her a fake smile.

Pasta. That was easy, quick and everyone loves pasta. You had a special recipe for sauce that your mom teached you. Every person who has tasted it said it was the best sauce that they ever tried. And that time wasn’t the exception.

An hour later, you were cleaning the kitchen when someone knocked the door. You stopped singing the melody that was stuck all day in your head and watched at the direction where the noise came from.

There he was. You didn’t knew him, never saw him or heard his music. He looked at you with a smile on his lips, crossing legs,one shoulder resting on the doorframe, arms crossed above his chest. Hair wet from a recent shower.

“Can I help you, sir?” you asked, still contemplating his figure.

“Sir?” he laughed “please just call me Van” he walked in your direction and stretched his hand to you “Hi.”

“Hi Van, I’m Y/N, can I help you with something?” you repeated taking his warm hand.

“Just wanted to thank you personally for the dinner. It was the best pasta I ate in my entire life, my mom would kill me if she find out that I said that to someone else, but it’s true” God, that guy liked to talk a lot, your inner voice, said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her” you joked, still handshaking “thanks by the way, glad you liked” then you left his touch.

His eyes scanned the empty kitchen while you studied his face details. Long eyelashes, pinked lips, freckles all over his cheeks and forehead.

“Hmm did you cooked all by yourself?” he said after a long silence, you nodded “woah, that’s amazing and hard, sorry about that” he looked really apologetic.

“Yeah it was a hard day” you replied, not explaining him all the details.

“Shit, I feel bad for you having to work till this hour just for us.”

“No, it’s fine, really. I appreciate you coming by and saying you like it, seriously. It’s what I’m here for, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Alright, love, thanks again. I’ll leave you alone, sorry to take more of your time. See you around I guess…” he sounded a little sad.

“That’s okay. You’re welcome. Have a goodnight” you said.

“You too, Y/N” he gave you a hug before leaving. You collected your coat and your bag then finally went home.

The next day was more relaxed, your boss went to work so it was much easier to do your job. You didn’t noticed how important his presence was till he was gone. You weren’t prepared for that kind of responsibility, yet.

When you left, you found Van at the front of the hotel, with his back against the fancy wall, smoking a cigarette.

“Hello, love” he said as you passed by his side, trying to hide your smile.

“Hello, Van” you replied saying his name carefully. It was a weird name.

“Finished earlier, huh?” he pushed himself with one foot, leaving a mark on the white wall. Van didn’t noticed it, his attention was on your face, reading your expressions.

“Yeah, not cooking for rock stars tonight” you joked and he laughed, and you blushed.

“Sorry about that, again” he said moving his gaze to the floor, you stood in your place “so… are you free tonight? maybe wanna get a drink or something?” he put his hair back with his fingers, and waited for your response.

“Hmm I don’t know, I’m a bit tired…”

“C’mon, just a drink, as a thank you for that amazing pasta” he smiled and you couldn’t say no.

Something about his presence was very hypnotizing. Maybe it was his eyes, or his smile, or the sound of his voice, or the way he seemed so relaxed and confident all the time, or how he made you feel nervous and comfortable at the same time. You accepted his offer, it was wednesday night and you didn’t have any plans, anyways.

You suggested a bar where you went a few times with some of your friends, after work. It was a couple blocks away from the hotel so you both went walking and chatting, while he finished his cigarette.

The place was mostly empty, just a few men chatting on a table close to the windows, and a couple kissing at the back of the place. You sat on a chair, taking off your coat, Van sat opposite, leaving his pack of cigarettes and lighter at the table. Then, the bartender asked what you were going to drink. You both said a pint, unison, and the man laughed and nodded.

“So you are in a band, huh?” you said, starting the conversation again.

One of the first things you noticed about Van was that he was a chatterer. It took him just a second to tell you all his story. He was the lead singer, he was staying at the hotel with his band, Catfish and the Bottlemen, for a few gigs in town. The night before they played and went back to the hotel and ordered dinner for all the crew. Van said that they were tired of eating fast food, that’s why they decided to eat at the restaurant.

That night was their free night, and some of his bandmates decided to go at some nightclub, the others left to visit the city but he wasn’t in the mood for any of those things. He liked going out, but something more chill. Beer, good music, cigs, that’s all he needed, he said. He loved meeting new people and new places, but sometimes he just wanted to keep it simple, it helped him to keep his feet on the ground, in his own words. The next day they’ll have another show so he wanted to rest his voice and his body. After that, they’ll move to another town to play another show, and repeat.

“Sounds exhausting” you said when he finished telling you how complicated was his schedule “I will never complain about my job, ever again” his laugh echoed on the empty pub. You didn’t knew when the rest of the customers left, you were too absorbed in what the guy in front of you were saying. The owner looked at your table from his position behind the cash register and gave you a small smile.

“You kidding? You cooked all that stuff for us and it was delicious, I can’t even- I would probably burn the water” Van said and took a sip of his second pint.

“Well, if you can burn the water let me know cause you have some kind of superpower, water doesn’t burn, it evaporates” you correct him.

“See? I don’t even know how it’s called” you laughed louder than him.

“Anyways, I don’t feel like it’s a job. For me is like a form to express myself, it’s liberating, kinda therapeutic too. I know some days, like yesterday for example, it’s more stressful but at the end of the day, I’m getting pay for doing what I love, you know?” you looked up to read his face, you never talked about that kind of stuff with anyone, Van stayed in silence for the first time in the night, looking at you, lost in his own thoughts. “Sorry, sounds stupid saying this out loud” you added, both staring at each other.

“No, no” he was back on Earth, shaking his head. He moved in his own place and cleared his throat “that’s-” he doubted “that’s the most accurate thing someone ever said, that’s exactly how I feel. I understand you, completely.” he affirmed and you smiled, feeling the heat on your cheeks. “I don’t feel like it’s a job, it’s what I love to do and I’m grateful to do it for living, not for money, though. When the public sings the lyrics that I wrote in my old notebook, right back at me when we play them live on a stage, it’s fucking mental. That’s the best feeling in the world, doing something that you love and making people feel good, at least for a moment.”

You shivered, it was like hearing your own thoughts.

“That’s exactly how I feel when people compliment about my food, maybe it sounds silly for others, but for me it means that what I made with passion makes them happy for a moment, and it’s one of the best feelings in the world” you said.

“Never thought that a gig and a meal could have a lot in common” he joked “but seriously, I know exactly what you’re saying, and it’s incredible, really. I’m glad to… found someone who share that feeling.”

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds” said the bartender “but it’s really late and we’re closing soon, is there any last thing you wanna drink?” he asked.

“Hmm no, it’s okay” you replied first, checking the clock on the screensaver of your phone “I probably should get going”

Van asked for the bill and you went to the bathroom before the man returned. After discussing about paying, Van gave up and let you pay the half. He said he felt bad to make you waste your money because it was his idea, and you replied that it was your beer and you’d pay for it.

“Okay… since you cooked for me and didn’t let me pay for the beer that I invited you” he said when you both stepped outside “I think that you should go tomorrow to our show.”

“That sounds fair enough” you accepted smiling wide.

“Deal” he said putting his right hand out of the pocket of his jacket, offering it to you.

“Deal” you took it, like the first time you met him. It was only one day ago, but it felt like you knew each other more than you knew yourselves.