#so I apologize for any splashback

[medinaquirin]

Listen, I know - I know - that the entire idea of women essentially having a shelf life is some jacked up misogynistic bullshit designed to sell face creams and get women to get married and pump out babies as early as possible.

It's bullshit, and I am fully aware of this.

That being said, teetering on the cusp of 40 with no partner and no career and no degree of higher education and basically twisting in the wind with nothing to show for those 40 years besides quite a lot of mental health issues...feels rather bad.

[wizard-spider-man]

Tales from Asfelaeia; Pizza Time

#The Study Room, slowly repairing itself from the destructive forces released during the Climatic Battle with Dark Star, was quietly rearranging its dimensional barriers around the Wizard Spider-Man.

**Before long, the front door to the Sanctum would knock once again, swiftly followed by it opening and closing.**

Walking through the Sanctorum Sanctorum once again was Karm, or at least one of his projections. He bore no trace of the struggle they'd just been in, concealing the strain and stress from all onlookers.

"Yes?"

"Wh-!?"

Spidey is surprised to see Karm behind him. He thought he hurt him.

"I saw you poof into Smoke. I was worried I hurt you or worse... what with the Id splashback. Are you also a Void err type? For lack of better description... I should have considered that before unleashing raw creation energy on ya. I apologize for that, either way."

"You're right. I am a void being as you call it. That's how I could consume the remnants of Dark Star and call upon the aspects of extinction without endangering myself. I'm not sure what the staff would do to me if I'd stayed, but I'm not keen on finding out so I left.

Walking up to the room, he looked over the self-repairing home before turning to the Wizard Spider-Man.

“No need to apologize. It happened as it had to. Do you need any help with reconstructing this place?"

“I need help with me. I have left over… traces. I-“

He turns and lifts his mask, puking into a plant in the research room. As it fixed its surroundings the books on the shelves returned, good as new. One would be particularly interesting its spine titled “The Sentry and the Void.” (Marvel property. Fun random character read I recommend on the wikis)

The Wizard would lower his mask, face probably not completely cleaned up from the heave.

“She’s still trying to kill me.”

"So you're still infected? Hmm..."

Karm leaned over to take a closer look. The Wizard Spider-Man was indeed still bearing the traces of the void.

"So... Any suggestions to how we get rid of her? Simply absorbing them right now would risk consuming you too, and I'm generally better at destroying than mending so I'll need some help here."

“If you can tolerate it, I can use my Id staff to anchor my essences and being to this plane while you absorb whatever is left of dark star within my form. I have a lot of resources here in the Sanctum, so if we need to use something to anchor you as well, we can figure it out. Perhaps a void stone on one side of the room and me on the other?”

"That could work. There's far less of the void in this projection than in my actual form so I should be able to tolerate the staff."

The two would position themselves in the room, each anchoring themselves to a powerful object of their respective elements.

“I’ll use the Idaldin staff to try and push the void out of my essences. The middle of the room is a sort of meeting point for the energy outputs in the lab. You should be able to reach out and grab it from there.”

The Staff materializes in his hand, and he grips it with determination.

“I’m ready when you are. What anchor are you going to use?”

"I'm always anchored to myself. That shouldn't be a problem. I'm just a projection after all."

Karm reaches out to the point indicated to him.

"It's this thing here, right?"

The middle of the room held a conduit, built upwards from the floor: a tower-like structure, amalgamated from the work of generations of sorcerers before the Wizard Spider-Man. Its foundation of liquid obsidian seamlessly melded into tiers of shimmering crystal. Arcane runes pulsed with dazzling colorations as the conduit rose from the floorboards.

Brass and copper tubes lined the device, pulsing with contained mana.

Metallic plates etched with circuits of were connected to unseen clockwork mechanisms within.

At the conduit's peak hovered a round crystal, its surface glimmering against the light.

"You up for food after this? I owe you for like. A lot man. Ready when you are."

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s begin.”

The Wizard Spider-Man taps his foot, the Staff glows and whirls with power. He exhales, thoughts slowing to a stop, going blank, he focused on the sickness within him - the darkness clinging to his causality.

*Begone, Dark Star, child of Craterus.*

He extends his hand, wisps of darkness emerging from his form. Like sickness from an infected wound, the tendrils of darkness leave him, and flow towards the conduit. The caustic energies lash out at the container, threatening escape.

The Wizard connects his mana flow to the conduit, powering its containment.

"Alright, I've got it sustained, just say the word and I'll let go."

Karm stands there with eyes closed and a furrowed brow. Touching the conduit and connecting it to his core, he looked at the Wizard Spider-Man with two pools of roiling amethyst glow.

“Send it. I’m ready to consume it.”

The Wizard lets go, and the containment opens, unleashing the remaining essences of the Dark Star.

The entropic energies flowed into the conduit, and through it Karm. For his part, he stood still as stone without breathing or blinking. His mind raced to direct and control the flow in order to deconstruct and consume the power as it reached him. Piece by piece he unravelled the threads of extinction that formed Dark Star, stripping it of direction and identity before passing it on and incorporating it into his own being.

Arcs of void energies lashed out at the walls and floors of the room, and his form began to blur at the edges. It was a race between him and the incoming energies, one he was winning. Gritting his teeth and straining his jaw was completely unnecessary. A reflex from his mortal days, but he did anyway as the energies wore on the body. Eventually though, it was over. The energies subsumed, and removed from this world.

The Wizard disperses the Staff of Idaldin, feeling free of Dark Star's toxic influence once and for all. He sighs in relief.

"Karm. Thanks again for helping me destroy that thing. You down on that offer to grab food? My treat. You still enjoy mortal pleasures don't you?"

Swaying ever so slightly, Karm nodded shakily.

"Yep. I could really go for a bite right now. Just need to find somewhere to sit down fir..."

Tipping over from exhaustion and wear, he dropped to the floor. A few seconds later he raised his head towards the ceiling, his eyes still closed.

"Just... Just give me five minutes."

Swallowing and breathing heavily, he continued.

"That... That took a lot of effort. I'll be fine soon enough."

"Woah woah!" He knelt down to help Karm up to his feet.

"You good there? You're surprisingly fit for a guy made out of nothing." He quips.

"There's a place on 5th called Joe's. Great Pizza, almost as good as Joe's back on my home reality."

Coughing a little, Karm grabs onto Spidey's arm. Remarkably strong for his looks, he thought to himself as he was pulled up from the floor.

"Heh. I suppose I'm still mostly human in my own mind. Joe's sounds nice. Lead the way!"

They would exit the Sanctum and take to the street.

His Spider Sense hums around Karm. It isn't *immediate danger* nor is it a detection of ill intent, malice, or malevolence. It was a familiar signal. He did say he was a void person. Perhaps...

"Were you the odd spirit that used to poke around at key moments a few months ago? I have this sorta sense. Now that we're walking, I'm picking up on this familiarity that I can't shake."

"I think so? There was a point in time, or at least there was from your perspective, that I was sealed away beyond the end. My efforts to break that seal did leave some traces where I observed or even interacted with this world. I think a lady named 'Caraway' had contact with me at one point when that strange face under the prison was locked out of time."

"Caraway..." He said trailing off.

"That Cabal has been a lot of trouble. When I did this vigilante thing years ago, I actually took down a syndicate. Exposed their crimes as my alter ego, turned them in as Spider-Man. Everyone's got magic here. It's hard to keep up." He sighs.

"But what about you? Sealed beyond the end you say? Time and its flow is just a suggestion for you, huh?"

"You could say that. Most people experience time as a linear flow. You go from point A to point B. Some other beings see it as a frozen amber. All moments in time that have been, will be, and are, as one. This is closer to how it actually is, and how I think most diviners see it. That is mostly correct, but unlike the frozen moments that exist of all time which you see yourself as moving through powerful chronomancers can take that amber and nudge things here and there. If I want to show up ten minutes ago I will. A normal perspective would see this as your past being something I experience in my future as I jump from C to B."

Karm looked over at Spiderman to see if he followed. Most people he had tried to explain it to had gone cross-eyed by this point.

"Interesting, so you just... move through it, no biggie. No strings attached. In a way, were you pushed out of the amber?"

Time travel did make his head spin.

"How do you compensate for varying timelines and multiversal splits? Some events change reality into entirely new branches. Do you focus local relative times into a coherent chunk of amber to sift through? Certainly you still *feel* A to B, even if you've jumped to Z and D already."

There he goes...

"Have you run into parallel selves? Do ya'll behave around eachother?"

"It was extremely taxing to begin with. Especially back when I still perceived time as a linear flow. Even now it is an effort that could kill most mages who attempt it without the aid of either some powerful artifact or ritual to alleviate the burden. I can't step through the barrier and step through it without expending a lot of mana myself. Luckily, I can draw mana from several planes. It takes a lot to truly bite into my reserves. "

Taking a breather and slowing his speech down a bit, he continued.

"I suppose you could also imagine it as images in a video. Anyone with a causal relationship with time watches it through regularly and can remember frames or segments. I see the entire movie all at once. Every frame is there, and I can step into whichever one I chose at whatever place I want. I'm not in the movie. I hold the proverbial camera. This also lets me avoid meeting myself. You're right to concern yourself with it. It's a very common point of failure for inexperienced or reckless chronomancers to overlap and cause a paradox. One should never interact with oneself in such a manner if one can help it unless you know exactly what you're doing. I've overlapped with myself a few times, but it's not something I do lightly. For someone who perceives linear time it's like trying to run through a beehive without getting stung. It's theoretically possible, but unless you're wearing some serious protection you'll get stung. Trust me. You do not want to get stung."

The two approach the restaurant. It was somewhat humble, but large, appearing to have once been a diner but has since lost it's devoted following.

The Webhead tosses a web ahead of them to get the door.

"After you."

They step in, and one could probably smell the carpet. It was a little dingy, but the aroma of a damn good pie was impossible to ignore.

"Web-Head! Ya payin the tab or am I adding to it?"'

"Table for two Pete, this is my buddy Karm. You should thank him, he's just stopped the neighborhood friendly from embarking on a pretty bad anti-hero arc. Costume change included."

They'd take a seat, next to a window to watch the passerbys.

"So you mentioned viewing time linearly. You don't anymore, but I posit a question for you. Isn't your own memory, a causal thread of linear time? I've pondered this myself."

“Its not, even though it should be for most beings. At the same time it can be argued that it is because of the way I interact with the world. I remember everything happening at once when I look back at it. Our conversation now, Defeating Dark Star, our fight with Dispater and subsequent return of Catherine’s soul and the complication around it? I see it all at the same time. I don’t remember as much as I observe myself. It’s… a lot of information to process, so I usually choke my own vision and restrict myself to a more human view. That’s when my ‘memories’ indeed become a recollection that follows causal linearity. We see that something ‘A’ happened and then eventually led to ‘B’.”

At this point Karm leans back in his seat to take out some stress. He was not used to speaking with people who could keep up this easily with something this complicated.

"Spoilers! I haven't even figured out how to get to Dis yet! Good to know we win though... so what kinda pizza you getting? I'm gonna get cheese with pepperoni. It's classic."

He takes a menu, and doesn't look it over, handing it to Karm.

"I haven't met myself in a time travel sense. Multiverse? Different story. That's a big thing. There's this group of Spider-People trying to play Spider-Cop across the entirety of the Multiverse."

He looks out the window, listening. He sees a family across the road, carefully guiding their young one along the sidewalk. The sight made him sad, briefly remembering a past long forgotten.

"So I take it you're not from here, this erm, plane, as it were."

"Ah, yes. My apologies. I will leave the discussions of the future to young couples and soothsayers. I'll have the one with bacon and garlic."

Karm looks over the menu briefly before putting it down.

"Never met many other multiverse aspects of myself. It sounds like a similar thing to an overlap, but with far less risk of a paradox."

Looking out to see what caught Spidey's attention, he continued.

"I'm not. I come from Thraben. The largest city on the plane of Innistrad. Not exactly the most cheerful of places. If you think this city keeps busy with catastophes..."

"I come from the Great erm. New York New York. There's a comma in there. Specifically I come from Queens, a quiet suburb near the Hustle of the regular city. Is your home much like this? Or conceptually different? Thraben and Innistrad sound like real words, and not the gutteral void noises I've been hearing a lot of lately..."

He waves Pete over and recants their orders. He collects their menus.

"What ultimately brought you here, instead of staying there? Did you just see yourself here one day when you mastered time?" He quipped.

""Admit it, it's the pizza." Spidey chuckles.

A smile broke out on Karm's face.

"New York? Queens? Can't say I've ever been there. My home though... It's not too dissimilar to this place. There's magic, monsters, humans, and angels if that's what you're thinking about. But there's no gods, highly advanced technology, goblins, elves... " *he gestures to the restaurant* …"or pizza."

A contemplative silence fell over him, propping up his chin in his hand as he looked down at the table.

"At the start, it was wanderlust. Imagine having lived all your years in Queens and New York only to realize there's an infinite amount of other places you'd never even imagined were out there, and now you can go wherever you want. I spent decades simply traveling around the multiverse. It was liberating. When I learned how to properly step through time? I couldn't just go wherever. I could go *whenever*. I've spent millennia just seeing and learning about the planes. Now? I suppose I just wanted somewhere quiet to stay for a few years or decades."

Looking up with a renewed smile, he added: "The pizza doesn't hurt either!"

"When I was thrust into the multiverse, I felt the same way. Suddenly everything got a whole lot bigger. Infinitely so when I was able to step back further, and see the multiversal tree... The Norse call it Yggdrasil. There's some folks here that seem to align with that Pantheon, albeit with different names."

The Wizard pauses, looking back at Karm. He wondered who tailored his clothes.

"Well on behalf of all of us, Welcome. Or welcome back? Seems like you fit right in, lot of power houses here."

The pizza arrives, and Spidey claps his hands together, sliding his palms back and forth in excitement.

"Ahh here we go. The food has arrived. Hope you didn't spoil the taste for yourself already."

He lifts the lower portion of his mask, taking a bite of his pepperoni classic.

"So were you Human to begin with? You mentioned Humans in Innistrad."

Looking over at the Wizard Spider-Man and wondering why he refused to properly remove his mask, he took in the scent of molten cheese, baked crusts, bacon, and tomato sauce. Picking up a slice to eat, Karm answered between bites.

"Yes. I was human up until very recently. *mmm* You weren't wrong about the pizza. This is very good."

Taking a napkin to wipe off a bit of sauce from around his mouth, he continued.

"A multiversal tree, huh? I've seen world trees before in a realm called Kaldheim and during the last Phyrexian invasion of the multiverse. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to learn that there are more cosmic trees out there.”

He took another short pause to eat a third piece before continuing. The look on his face was… mixed. Part happy, part thankful, but most of all melancholic.

“I appreciate your words. Truly, I do. But I don’t really belong here. As we speak I am not really here. This?” he gestures to himself. “This is a shadow, or projection of my attention. There’s several of me all connected to the true being that now rests in the blind eternities. That is the fate of any being of the void. You saw how the sanctum reacted to me simply being there. If I hadn’t restrained my aura, I’m not sure you’d be here!”

After the small outburst he quieted down. Silently finishing his pizza.

"Well I'm glad you're interacting with this facet of the amber Karm. I think, a budding friendship might be sprouting here. I hope the choices made today make an impact on your ah, chronology? Maybe add another layer to the amber. However one should look at it." He finishes his pizza as well, grinning throughout the conversation.

Once the food was finished, Spidey payed the tab, and the two stood up to part ways. As they exit the restaurant, the Wizard looks up to the buildings.

"This was nice, man. Being? Karm. This was nice, Karm. Thank you, from the bottom of my webbed heart, for saving my life today. Even if Dark Star hadn't killed me, there was likely a lot of potential bad futures that didn't come to pass thanks to you."

Sirens blare, and the cackling of a rogue mage can be heard from behind them. A shadow clone of the Wizard sprouts off of Spidey, swinging in the direction of the danger.

"I'm not sure what communication mediums you use," He conjures an amulet, an amethyst that glitters with the stars of cosmos. It seems to glow brighter as Spider-Man tosses it to Karm.

"but I'm into trinkets. If for some reason, you need the Wizard Spider-Man, which I can't see you being in danger to much but, if ya wanna hang out or something, simply channel your intent into the amulet. I have one in my bag that will glow in response. I'll be able to teleport to you. If you're tricky enough, it might work both ways."

The amulet’s arc through the air slows to a crawl just before Karm snatches it up and pockets it.

“Thank you. I’ll be sure to remember it. If you want to hang out ‘I’ live just eight miles south of the city. You’ll know it when you see it.”

8 miles out? That's a lot of tree swinging. Spidey would have to get out of town sometime, when the time permitted it.

[screpdoodle]

Duality - Chapter Six (The Tick, Tick... Boom)

Kaos pulled the white rubber gloves up to his forearms, rubbing his hands together before pulling his goggles down over his eyes. He surveyed the beakers and flasks set before him, the same ones as on everyone else’s desks. Clear liquids and purple crystals in petri dishes. This looked to be an experiment Kaos was quite familiar with, and the one he had hoped for today. It was the exact base for the catalyst that he needed. Droppers and scoopulas were set off to the side, along with a handheld mortar and pestle. Kaos looked up to the board, where the teacher was just finishing up transcribing the instructions in fluid cursive. She brushed a permed curl behind her pointed ear, then plopped down at her desk, a book in her hands moments after. The other students had already started following along, immersed in their own little worlds. Grind the crystals into a fine powder. Kaos grabbed a handful of shards, dropping them into the mortar. They sounded like wind chimes as they hit the stone bowl, twinkling softly as Kaos used the pestle to grind them down. Well, tried. After a few moments, his hand began to cramp up, the crystals barely having cracked. He huffed, looking around the class. Surely, someone else wouldn't notice if he switched their mortar for his own. Kaos’ gaze came to fixate on the Ent a few tables down from him, their attention captured by the vial of clear fluid they were fumbling with, gnarled hands cracking the glass with absolutely no effort. Kaos’ expression soured, a prickle running up the back of his neck before the vial shattered, liquid splattering over the table and their oaky chest. The teacher looked up as the Ent started wailing, stumbling out from behind their desk and rushing for the door.

“This is the third time this has happened…” Kaos heard the teacher grumble before heading out after the Ent, leaving the class to fend for itself.

Kaos blinked, then hopped down from his seat as the chatter returned to the classroom. That timing couldn’t have been better. Kaos made his way over with mortar in hand, making sure not to be seen. Carefully, he switched the two out, being sure the Ent hadn’t ‘contaminated’ the crystal powder before quickly making a break back to his desk. Now, he could focus. Mix a few drops of activator into the powder. Mix until it forms a paste. Kaos piled the dust into a petri dish, picking out a few leaves before pouring in a few tips of the clear liquid. As soon as it touched the crystals, a plume of smoke curled up into the air. Kaos used his gloved finger to mix the substance around, ignoring the growing heat against the rubber. It didn’t take long for the dust to form into a granular paste. He flicked the extra on his finger back into the dish. Mix the paste in with the rest of the activator. Kaos tipped the paste into the flask, covering his face with his arm to defend against splashback, then began mixing. The clear liquid faded to a pastel purple, bubbling. Now. Now was the time. Kaos took his lunchbox out as the flask frothed, flipping the metal box open to reveal nothing but a napkin and some crumbs. Checking to make sure no one was watching, Kaos pulled on the napkin, removing the bottom and revealing a few thin vials filled with multicolored substances, all tethered to the real bottom of the lunchbox with thick bands of elastic. Kaos first slipped out one who’s contents seemed to pulse and glow with every movement, like lightning coursing across an overcast sky. He popped the cork off, then dumped the entire vial into the beaker, the substance sloshing over the sides a bit as he stirred it in, pooling around the base. Kaos waited for a second, until the static gathering in the air had cleared, then carefully grabbed the smallest vial from his lunchbox. Contained within it was a thick, crimson liquid. The very thing he had spent countless hours toiling over last night. Milking out every last drop of nectar he could muster by the light of the moon. He had spent weeks preparing, tracing their patterns in and out of Mother’s special garden, finding the exact time they were at their most active. The time they produced their best nectar. Beelossoms. A very rare breed that cultivated a very flavorful honey, but when unprocessed, the creatures used it as a defense mechanism. One that caused exploding pustules on any living being it was injected into. Kaos couldn’t help but let his hands shake as he popped the vial open, tilting it over the bubbling maw of the flask. He held his eyes open wide, not risking even a blink, holding his breath as to not jostle the substance. He just needed one drop. Just one. Single...

Plop.

Kaos pulled the bottle away, shooting his hands into the air in triumph as his grin widened. The muted lavender liquid began shifting to a deep copper. It was at that moment the door flung open; the teacher stomping inside, the sudden arrival causing Kaos to yelp. He bumped the table as the two of them locked eyes, the concoction sloshing over the sides. Kaos’ triumphant grin turned to one of sheepishness, then to one of concern as he noticed the flask frothing and bubbling more than before. Before Kaos could take cover, the liquid erupted into a cloud of coppery dust, flooding the air, the other students coughing and spluttering in alarm. Seconds after, alarm began to blare,the sprinklers coming on overhead; flushing the rust colored smog to the ground. In a panic, Kaos grabbed the flask, covering it with his arm so the remaining liquid didn’t get diluted.

“Apologies, miss, I have to go! I really gotta use the washroom!” Kaos spoke hurriedly as he pushed past the teacher, running out into the hall, the sounds of panicking students and his teacher’s yelling nothing but background noise to his thoughts, rust-colored dust trailing after him as he made a break towards the meeting spot.

“Benevolent Ancients, what happened to you??”

Kaos glared at Dyskord as he stopped to catch his breath, attempting to wipe the copper dust from his face. His goggles were resting on his forehead, a ring of uncovered skin left around his eyes. His clothes hung off of his frame, drenched from head to toe in freezing sprinkler water and rust-colored sludge.

“Chemistry is a dangerous thing, numbskull. But that doesn’t matter. Did you bring the-”

Before Kaos could finish his sentence, Dyskord threw a small, metal cage to the tiled ground at Kaos’ feet. Like his communicator, it seemed to be constructed of scrap metal and miscellaneous parts. Kaos let a grin creep across his face as he knelt down to pick up, ignoring the harsh, jolting movements it was making. He held the cage up to the light, inspecting its contents. Contained within it was a small, verdant ball of razor-sharp teeth, pink gums, and stubby limbs. Its eyestalks swiveled around as it tumbled around the cage. When it noticed Kaos peering at it, it lunged forward, gnawing at the metal bars between them. Kaos yelped, jumping back, a little bit of liquid sloshing other the lip of the flask. It bubbled and fizzed as it hit the tiled ground, evaporating almost immediately.

Click click.

Kaos looked over, a quick flash of light causing spots to dance across his vision. When it cleared, he saw Dyskord, snickering as he looked over a developing photo, a small camera clutched in the other. It was a camera Dyskord had had since Kaos was little. He remembered Dyskord running around the house, shaggy blonde hair in his eyes and the clicking of the shutters as he filled rolls upon rolls of film. It was a hobby that had slipped to the wayside as the years flew past, but Dyskord always made a point to bring his old, outdated camera along on their little ‘adventures’. Whether it be exploring the grounds behind the castle, an unsanctioned midnight outing to a ‘nearby’ market; or, apparently, to document Kaos’ humiliation at the jaws of a caged Chompy.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Kaos hissed, dropping the cage (much to the Chompy’s dismay) and storming over to Dyskord. He reached up, trying to grab the photo from his brother’s grasp. To no avail.

“Oh come on, baby brother. It’s a great candid shot!”

“It’s humiliating, you bumbling buffoon!”

Dyskord merely pushed Kaos back, ruffling his hair in the process, chuckling to himself. Kaos snarled, then took a breath, gathering himself together as he readjusted his clouded goggles, shooting one last glare over to Dyskord. He then thrust his hand forward, beckoning for something.

“Whatever, we need to hurry. Your backpack. Hand it over,” Kaos demanded, motioning with his outstretched hand.

Dyskord swung his backpack off of his shoulder, but simply clutched it to his chest like a child would their favorite stuffed toy.

“And let you get your grubby, science-covered prints all over it? No way!” Dyskord stuck his nose in the air. “It’s limited edition!”

“It's a cloth sack you painted on. Quit being a baby and give it to me!” Before waiting for an answer, Kaos set the flask down and grabbed ahold of Dyskord’s backpack, tugging on it with all of his might before it slipped from Dyskord’s grasp, sending both it and Kaos stumbling back. He fell to the ground beside the caged ball of chlorophyll and teeth, not waiting a beat before zipping it open and rummaging around inside; much to his brother’s chagrin. The Chompy rattled around within its confinement, eyes watching as Kaos threw miscellaneous items from the bag. Sheet music, a half drank bottle of water, what once looked to be a sandwich bag but was now full of white and blue fungus, the list went on.

“Could you at least try to be gentle??” Dyskord begged as he dodged a haphazardly thrown wrench, gathering up what he could as Kaos searched the contents of his bag, blatantly ignoring his wishes as he threw a bag of expired ‘timebombs’ at Dyskord’s head. “I don’t treat your toys like this!”

“They’re collectors edition action figures, not toys!” Kaos retorted. “Besides, most of this is garbage anyway. Didn’t Mother already get on your tail about keeping your bag clean? It attracts Greebles!”

“Oh, and the fact that you hid one of their egg sacs in the wall doesn’t?”

“Zip it, fool.”

Kaos dug his hand into the bag one last time, finally pulling out a small, plastic box with a triumphant a-HA! He draped Dyskord’s bag over the Chompy cage without a second thought, popping the plastic box open and carefully removing what was inside. A crisp looking syringe, the silver tip almost glowing under the buzzing fluorescent lights. Giggling to himself like a schoolgirl, Kaos reached over and grabbed the flask, being careful not to spill any more of a liquid as he balanced it on his knee, priming the needle before dipping it into the substance. He filled it up to about halfway before tapping the end like he had seen done countless times.

“I still have no idea how you got your hands on one of those things,” Dyskord mused as he picked his backpack up, oblivious to the damage the Chompy had managed to do to one of the straps as he slipped the contents back inside.

“Getting detention from the bio teacher has its perks, brother,” Kaos shot a grin towards Dyskord before getting to his feet, his eyes fixated on the shimmering liquid suspended within the syringe. His own formula, his own handiwork, and soon all would bask in its masterful craftsmanship. Kaos cracked the cage open with his free hand, grabbing the Chompy by its eyestalks and lifting it into the air. The Chompy flailed its stubby limbs, snapping at the air with countless rows of razor sharp teeth, thrashing around much to Kaos’ amusement.

“So. Infodump to me again. This stuff is supposed to do what exactly?”

“It’s quite simple really.” Kaos cleared his throat as pulled his glove up his forearm, only for it to slip down again almost immediately. “I, KAOS, have created an ingenious formula, taking the natural properties of Blazing Beelossom nectar and the secretion from sea dwelling thunderslugs found only in the dark depths of-”

“Layman's terms, Kaos. We don’t have all day.”

“I mashed two highly dangerous goops together with some powder to make a boom boom liquid.”

“Smartass.” Dyskord puffed, crossing his arms. “What I don’t understand is, like, why do we need the little bugger? If it’s ‘boom boom liquid’, why not just spill it and let it do its work?”

Kaos snickered, pressing the tip of the syringe against the side of the Chompy’s bulbous head, causing it to freeze in place, simply dangling there as its eyes fixated on the needle. “Because, my idiotic brother, it only reacts when in contact with a living organism. The serum is dangerous on its own, yes, but not explosively so. See, if my theories are correct, this concoction should latch onto the living organism on a molecular level, causing a chain reaction which should, if my calculations are correct, cause it to spontaneously combust. Now, this is no regular spontaneous combustion, oh no-”

“Spontaneous combustion is a usual thing?”

“Hush. Let me finish.” Kaos inserted the syringe as he spoke, the Chompy squealing like a chew toy, before falling completely still, like a fawn caught in the headlights. Absentmindedly, Kaos pressed down on the plunger, the liquid draining into the Chompy, its verdant flesh starting to fade into an apricot orange as it filled with the deadly chemical. “As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, within half a minute for a creature of this size, its molecules will begin to ‘vibrate’ to an extent where they can no longer hold themselves together, causing the creature to explode like a living atomic bomb!!”

Kaos cackled, then paused, catching himself before it got too loud. He looked over to Dyskord, whose expression had become sunken, the corners of his mouth twitching as he eyed the Chompy. Kaos managed to soften his maniacal grin, pulling his mind back to reality.

“Though, eh, the effect is less potent the smaller the creature it latches onto. Which is why we’re using the ‘humble’ Chompy. Big enough to cause some damage, but not enough to, you know, completely demolish the entire island.”

Dyskord didn’t take his eyes off the Chompy hanging from Kaos’ grasp, which had begun to bubble, blisters forming on its squirming skin, the syringe hanging from the side of its head. Kaos followed his gaze, his heart stopping.

“...how long did you say it takes for the ‘boom boom juice’ to kick in?”

“Thirty seconds, approximately.”

“How long have we been talking?”

Kaos glanced to the nonexistent watch on his wrist. “...I’d say around twenty, twenty five seconds, per se.”

“So. We’ve got ‘approximately’ five seconds to ditch the living death sentence and hightail it outta here?”

“I believe so, yes.”

Kaos looked back to the Chompy, who had begun to drool, steam curling off of the dribble. He tried to peel his hand from the eyestalks, the flesh stretching and clinging to the rubber glove like orange putty. Kaos held back a gag as it flopped to the ground, then staggered to get up, his mind grinding to a stop as the Chompy gazed up at him. Then, it clicked.

“Wait. Oh fu-”

Before Kaos could finish his sentence, the Chompy burst apart in a blast of blinding light, engulfing everything around it.

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