#so GET WHILE ITS CHEAP...ER!

[terminalkisser]

exactly what the link reads. nine dollar sisyphus & minos keychains. wrapped in plastic and packaged with their very own fleshy time out chamber. ^__^ available for sale...NOW!

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

two of the transfems youre friends with have been talking to you about the clinic they got their bottom surgery done at. apparently its dirt cheap, and the surgeon - despite some oddities and, your friends admit, poor hygiene - is incredibly talented. theyre more than happy to give you her phone number when you ask, and while it sounds simultaneously incredibly sketchy and way too good to be true, at this point youre just so broke, desperate, and tired of gatekeepers that you're willing to give it a shot.

you call on a thursday afternoon, and the call is picked up on the fourth ring, when youre just gearing up to hear an answering machine. the voice on the other end sounds like a middle-aged woman with a smoking habit trying to sound like a cheery, bubbly young girl, and mostly succeeding. hiiiii! what can i do for you? she asks. you say er im looking for a surgical clinic is this the right number? she says mhm! thats me. you say okay, i just have a few questions. she says shoot. you say do you take patients who arent referred to you? she says nobody refers patients to me so yes. then she giggles. youve never heard somebody pull off a giggle in real life. you ask okay, so ive been looking for a place to get my metoidoplasty done, can you do that here? she says i dont know what that is give me like five seconds. then the line goes silent. you can hear her typing on a mechanical keyboard and humming to herself as she reads. youre now convinced that this is not in any way a legitimate medical institution.

youre about to hang up when she comes back on the line. OH you need a dick she says. sure i can do that! does tuesday afternoon work for you? i have that morning free too but i HATE getting up in the mornings so id rather not schedule it if i have to. you say tuesday afternoon is fine, how long should i expect the visit to be? she says i dont know like seven hours? you say seven hours? she says yeah give or take a few, every person is different so i dont know what itll be like until ive got your cunt opened up. honestly probably best to take the whole day off just in case it turns out to be a tough operation. you dont respond to that immediately. she says oh shoot should i not use the word cunt, is that too gendered? sorry. you say no its fine. you say i thought i was just going in for a consult? she says i mean yeah if youd rather. i dont mind doing same-day but some people like having more time to think about their options. do you have somewhere to be tuesday night or something? you say no its just... no tuesday afternoon should be fine. she says okay great!

she gives you her address. she says knock three times so i know its you and not my parole officer. parole officer you ask? she says im being good i promise but i still hate talking to him hes boring. you say if you dont mind me asking what were you imprisoned for? she says the ones i plead guilty to at the trial were a hundred and ninety-two counts of first-degree murder with a parahuman ability, two hundred and fifty-six counts of physical and emotional torture with a parahuman ability, five hundred and six counts of intentional infliction of emotional distress with a parahuman ability, four hundred ninety-eight counts of aggravated assault and battery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty five counts of domestic terrorism with a parahuman ability and two hundred and twelve counts without, three counts of arson, two hundred forty two counts of burglary with a parahuman ability, three hundred eight four counts of robbery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty seven counts of abduction with a parahuman ability, a hundred eighty six counts of human trafficking with a parahuman ability, three hundred ninety counts of destruction of public property with a parahuman ability, eighty counts of possession of a controlled substance, more than three thousand conspiracy and complicity charges in various felonies, eighteen violations of the Geneva Conventions, and the unauthorized practice of medicine. i plead not guilty to the larceny, sexual assault, contempt of court, corporate espionage, and identity theft charges and the prosecutor didnt really try to fight it since i had already earned seventy life sentences from the other stuff so im technically innocent of those.

you dont say anything to that.

after three seconds of silence she says sooooooooo i'll see you tuesday? you say tuesday, yeah. what was your name again? Riley, she says. Riley Grace Davis. you say thanks again and then hang up.

you debate constantly during the intervening days whether you should go on tuesday. youre grateful your friend group is so slutty; it means youve already seen with your own eyes that this surgery is real and not just a lure to murder you. still, you have some reservations, which you think is perfectly understandable.

you call one of your friends whos been there already. she picks up and you say if this is a joke its only sort of funny. she says if whats a joke? you say the clinic. you say you DID give me the actual number to the place where you actually had your bottom surgery done right? she says yeah, dont worry the surgeons so sweet. you say she admitted to doing two hundred murders when she was on the phone. she says i dont know anything about that but i trust her. you say if i end up dead, kidnapped, or mutilated, its your fault. she says dont worry about it.

tuesday comes. you never agreed to an exact time so you show up as early as you can and still have it be "afternoon" in your mind - 12:30. you climb the rusted fire escape to the third floor door and knock three times. the door is answered by a woman six feet tall in casual but very nice clothes with frizzy brown hair and an expression you cant read. you say er, riley? she says nope. another girl pushes past her, exasperated. she's maybe five foot two and her wavy blonde hair is worn down, with a red bow in it. she's wearing torn jeans - naturally torn, not the sort that you buy with holes in them that youve always hated but the kind that were once normal jeans and now have worn through much of the fabric on the knees. her tshirt is faded and has stains that you cant quite place on it, but youre pretty sure it was once Eidolon merchandise.

she says damnit amy let me answer the door next time. the taller woman, amy apparently, shrugs and steps aside to let you in riley claps her hands together once youre inside and the door is shut. introductions! she shouts. amy, this is, er... I never actually got your name? you tell them your name. she says right! hes one of my clients. and this is Amy, my sister. dont worry about her, shes just a little awkward. amy says can you PLEASE not introduce me as your sister. riley says make me. then she grabs amys shirt and pulls her down, standing on her tiptoes at the same time. they kiss in a very un-sisterly way. you clear your throat politely.

riley breaks away and says right, yeah, sorry! i get distracted easy. youre here to get a dick right. you splutter a bit, both at the bluntness of the question and the fact that amy is still standing right there. riley follows your gaze. she says oh dont worry about her! sorry, i wouldve run her off earlier, i thought you wouldnt come by for another few hours. you say sorry. she says dont worry, its her fault. amy says you didnt tell me you had a client. riley says you didnt ASK. you clear your throat politely again. you say er yes, i did come in for metoidoplasty. she bites her lip and furrows her brow. she says metoido... oh right. well i dont really do that here but i can give you a dick. you say uh im not really interested in phalloplasty. she says whats phalloplasty? amy says its the construction of a penis, usually via tissue flap taken from another part of the body, often followed by the insertion of prosthetics to allow the constructed penis to achieve erection. riley says oh, huh. yeah i dont do that either. i can give you a dick though. she takes a second then puts on an exaggerated scowl. who would want that she asks? amy says lots of people prefer it to metoido for aesthetic reasons or because they dont think theyll be large enough for penetrative sex with metoido. riley says but it wouldnt feel like a dick! man, some surgeons are talentless hacks.

you clear your throat again. you say so if youre- riley says youre clearing your throat a lot, are you okay? you say im fine, its just- she says oh duh were being so rude! why are we all standing around here. come sit down in the living room, do you want anything to drink? she leads you into the living room. it has the unmistakable air of a room thats been cleaned recently, with vacuuming marks present in the carpet and the unmistakable scent of air freshener. the sofa that you're gestured to sit on is, by contrast, unbelievably filthy. stains of every sort are visible on it - some of them are obvious, like the patches of blood and vomit or the ring of a coffee mug. others take you a second to place, like the crusty streak along one cushion that you realize all at once is semen, or the sticky yellow parts that you hope to god are honey. some of them, like the muddy green handprint along one arm of the sofa or the deep black smudge along a seat, are completely foreign to you. you can smell it from several feet away.

amy notices your hesitancy. she says i keep telling her to throw that thing out. riley says and i keep telling HER that its a relic from earth bet! its an antique and itll be worth millions soon. it just needs a good deep cleaning. amy says what that sofa needs is a bullet, not a deep clean. you sit down. drink? riley asks. you say er what do you have? she says water, diet coke, vodka, coffee. no more beer though, SOMEBODY drank the last one. amy says you never said they were off limits! riley says they arent, im just teasing. you say waters fine. riley says aaaaaaaaaamyyyyyyy, could you pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase go get our guest a glass of water and me a diet coke? oh and can you grab the pill bottle on the second shelf of the spice cabinet. amy says sure, i'll be right back.

riley sits down next to you. she says sooooooo what do you want for your dick? you say sorry, if youre not doing phallo or metoido then what exactly are you offering? she says no offense but it would take like literally eight years to give you enough background info for you to understand my explanation, and i dont have that kind of time. im not getting any younger. except for when i am. she laughs louder than you thought a human could. you have no idea how to describe the sound of her laughter. she says just tell me about your dream dick and ill give it to you. trust me, im a doctor.

except that youre not, amy says, returning with glasses and pills in hand. she sets the water down in front of you and you immediately take large gulps, feeling very much lost right now. riley says am TOO, accepting the pill bottle and diet coke from amy. she frowns. why is it can diet coke, she asks? she says glass bottle is so much better. she says why did i even BUY can. amy says they are literally the same liquid, what do you mean its better. riley says theyre not the same, stop deluding yourself. amy says which of us is the REAL doctor? riley says both of us! the PRT finally issued me an equivalency. youre talking to doctor riley davis, MED. amy says oh really? congrats she says. riley beams. then she unscrews the lid of the unlabeled, dark brown glass bottle, grabs three pills, and pops them into her mouth.

what is that you ask. ectasy she says. you want some? you say no thanks. she says you sure? you say i probably shouldnt take drugs before an operation, what if it interacts with the anesthetic? riley says dont worry, i made my own anesthetic that has zero drug-drug interactions. amy says except with sudafed. riley says ok YEAH except with sudafed, how was i supposed to know? she glances at you. you dont take sudafed do you she asks. you say no. she says good. it was such a bitch cleaning the pus off the ceiling she says. you say huh? she says dont worry about it, you dont take sudafed. she says are you sure you dont want any ecstasy? i promise its pure. you say i dont want to get addicted. she says i can surgically remove the addiction pathway from your brain if that would help. amy says riley, no means no. riley says fine. do you want any ecstasy babe? she says no thanks. riley frowns. she says you guys are a bunch of squares. she pops a fourth one and starts chugging diet coke.

she slams the can down after drinking what must be half of it, wipes her mouth with her arm and grins. sorry, we keep getting distracted! she says. she says im getting into the start of a manic episode and that always makes me roll right over people in conversation. what do you want for your dick? you say um. i hadnt really thought about it. its not normally a choice beyond the type of surgery, you sort of just end up with whatever the doctors are able to make work? thats lame she says. why are normal doctors all so lame she says. ok, rude amy says. OBVIOUSLY im not talking about you babe riley says. and stop distracting me from my client! amy holds up her hands in mock surrender, an easy smile on her face.

you didnt bring a toy with you did you, riley asks. you say huh. she says sometimes people bring a toy that they want me to model it after and that makes everything a lot easier. you say no you didn't. you say i hadn't really thought about my preferences, can we go dealer's choice on this? amy pipes up. she says you REALLY dont want riley to go dealers choice. riley says shut up and get me another diet coke, i just finished this one. amy says yes princess. you honestly cant read whether it was meant to be mocking or endearing. riley turns back to you. ok, she says, lets start with basics. primate? canid? equine? suine? dolphin? i could give you a hyena pseudopenis but i dont know if that would be offensive. you say human is fine. she says please dont tell me you're gonna just be boring this whole time. you say define boring. she sighs deeply and starts massaging her temples. amy, having stepped into the room in time to hear the last bit of conversation, tousles rileys hair. she says sorry babe, customer's always right.

you work out the appearance of your soon-to-exist cock this way. riley asks questions about length, girth, hair, amount of semen generated, percentage growth when erect, and you try to give what you think are average answers every time. amy watches, bemused, the whole time. halfway through she leaves to get the bottle of vodka. she drinks five shots in fifteen minutes. you say i didnt think the human body had that much capacity for alcohol resistance. she says it doesnt. riley swats playfully at her arm.

eventually, riley grabs a set of crayons and a cocktail napkin. she says ok, i think we got it, scribbling furiously. she shows you a crayon drawing of a dick. this look good she asks? you squint at it. there are no measurements given and the medium does not allow you to make out any fine detail. you say yeah thats fine. amy tries and fails to hide a smile. riley chucks the napkin aside and rubs her hands together. boring parts done! she says. time to get messy she says. amy pours a sixth shot of vodka. she says dont forget the anesthetic first. riley rolls her eyes. she says OBVIOUSLY i didnt forget the anesthetic. she says ill be right back. as soon as she leaves the room, amy knocks back her shot. she turns to you. she says you mind if i stay and watch? she says i dont want to make you uncomfortable, but i like watching her work. shes cute when shes working. you say at this point youre not sure you would mind anything at all. you say at this point you dont think you would be fazed if she came back with a fully-formed dick wriggling around in her hand like a fish and sewed it onto me. she says dont tempt fate.

riley comes back with a black bag the size of her head, which she sets on the coffee table with a thunk. she points at you and says okay, clothes off. or pants off i guess. you can leave the shirt on. or take it off. i dont care. you take it off. she tells you to lie down and starts pulling things out of the bag. amy stands up from the sofa to give you the space to stretch out and sits on the coffee table instead, one leg pulled up to her chest with her chin resting on her knee.

riley pulls out a syringe from the bag, filled with pitch-black fluid. she says okay this will hurt for a second but only for a second. you say huh? she flips you over onto your belly and jabs the needle against your lower back, into your spinal column. it hurts like a bitch for all of two seconds and then you stop feeling anything at all in your lower body. you also cant move your legs, you realize. what just happened you ask, as she flips you onto your back again. she says i just killed all the cells in the nerves in your lower spine. she says its the easiest way to make sure none of the pain signals slip through, and she'll just replace them with living ones when she's done. you don't know how to respond to that.

she pulls more things out of the bag. a cartoonish array of different cutting implements come out. most of them are various sizes of medical scalpel, ring cutter, or saw, but you also see a pair of chunky pink safety scissors, a pizza cutter, a serrated bread knife, an x-acto, a drill with a comically long bit, a pair of wire cutters, gardening shears, and an awl. she says okay im gonna start operating so look away if you dont wanna see how your crotch looks while its being rearranged. especially if you think you might puke, i hate having to stop to clean up puke in the middle of surgery. you look away. you notice amy is watching transfixed.

for a couple of hours things go on like that. amy and riley make light conversation, with riley filling any silence by humming a wordless tune you dont know. the sounds and smells youre getting are enough to make you slightly sick; you continue not looking.

in the middle of hour two, riley stops. oh goddamnit, she says. what amy asks? riley says she forgot that shed need extra meat. amy says you started a surgery to give somebody a whole new organ and forgot youd need more tissue to do it? riley says shut up, im dumb. amy says no youre not babe. riley says ughhhhh now what. amy says just get his stem cells to grow the tissue you need. riley says nooooooo thatll take forever, and i have places to BE tomorrow, and if i stop putting pressure on him here hes going to bleed out through his cunt. you say wait, what? amy says well i dont know what you want me to do about this situation, i gave you my solution. riley says baaaaaaaaaaabe. amy says whaaaaaaaaaaaat. riley says i think we have some bacon in the fridge, will you pretty please with sprinkles on top go get it? amy says and what do i get in return? riley says a kiss. amy says id get that anyway. riley says my undying love and affection. amy says i have that already. riley says not making me angry at you so you can sleep under my roof without having to worry that ill turn your sweat glands into acid glands in the middle of the night. amy says that, plus i get to top tonight. riley says fiiiiiiiiine, just go get the bacon. amy gets up.

you say look uh i know you said not to question what youre doing but i kind of dont want a dick made of bacon, not to sound ungrateful. also did you say something about me bleeding out? riley says dont worry, if you bleed out ill put the blood back in, im a professional. you say thats not as reassuring as she thinks it is. riley says whos the doctor, mister? you say technically both of us. i have a phd in social sciences you say. she says wow, theyre just giving out doctorates for anything these days, huh? you say hey, rude. she says only teasing. you say anyway, uh, you didnt address the bacon dick thing? she says oh dont worry about it, my amys amazing, youll see.

amy comes back in with the package of bacon. do you need this in any particular shape she asks. riley says nah just give me a good amount of it. and make sure its spongy, so when he gets hard the blood can- amy cuts her off. she says dont worry, ive given you enough penises at this point that i think i know what penile tissue is like at this point. you say given her enough penises? what the hell does that mean? riley says hey, dont kinkshame! she sounds legitimately offended. you say sorry. amy pulls the bacon out of the package, holding it aloft in her left hand. you watch as the familiar look of a half-pound of bacon shifts and warps into a strange lump of fatty, spongy tissue of a waxy color. she hands it to riley. riley says thanks sis youre the best, love you! amy says no problem. riley says id kiss you if i wasnt elbow deep in this guys cunt right now. amy says kiss me after the surgerys done.

another two hours go by. the sounds of flesh being chopped, sawed, and stitched underscore riley and amys meaningless conversation about whether they HAVE to attend their acquaintance lisa's birthday party. riley says lisa probably wouldn't throw a birthday party if there wasn't some sort of scheme going on. amy agrees but says that doesnt indicate whether they should get involved with the scheme or not. you wonder dimly if you will ever feel your lower body again. you wonder if this is purgatory, an endless afternoon of lesbians bickering affectionately while one of them does surgery on you. you turn your head enough to look at the clock. its 5:26pm. where the fuck did the time go?

another hour passes. riley stands up. she is soaked up to her elbow in various bodily fluids - mostly blood, but youre not looking too closely. she says finally! she says just need to regrow your nerve cells now. you say is that going to take long? she says like twenty minutes maybe as she flips you over. you say ok. she jams a different needle into the same spot, injecting a strange yellow paste into your spine. she then flips you onto your back again. you feel brave enough to finally look at your crotch.

there is a completely normal human penis of average size there. you reach a hand down and touch it. you dont have any sensation in it yet since your nerves are all still dead, but it feels warm and soft under your hands. you smile, feeling tears come to your eyes. its over.

rileys talking. she says i followed your specifications except i had to cheat a bit on the nerves, you actually didnt have very many in your clit for whatever reason so your glans has maybe eight thousand fewer nerves than you wanted, sorry about that. she says i gave you balls in your scrotum for shape but since you said you didnt want kids they dont produce sperm. let me know if you want that changed she says. she says it should be fully functional in every respect, but if you notice any erectile dysfunction, incontinence, discoloration in urine or semen, priapism, or any other issue come back and we'll sort it out. if you notice it bleeding in ANY capacity, call me immediately. if im not answering call Amy, ill give you her number. if SHES not answering either then you can start seeing normal doctors, not that those idiots will know how to help you probably. if you want any changes to it call me and ill pencil you in to get it adjusted. get all that she asks. you nod. she says cool. she says itll be like $200, no rush if youre not able to pay right now. you say it might be a bit since youre still trying to pay interest on your student loan debt. wait, she says, they have student loans again? you nod. she says the world ended like thirty years ago, when did they set up student loans again? fuck, how much do you owe? you say a little under eighty thousand. she says jesus fuck, nevermind, its free. goddamn. you say thank you so much. she says yeah of course. do you want us to dress you or do you want to wait until you can move and do it yourself?

[johnbrand]

Normal, SC

With @mrrharper

Officer Justin O’Shaughnessy reluctantly hopped into his patrol vehicle. He had been transferred out of South Carolina’s capital to the tiny town of Normal, population definitely under a thousand. When Justin had enlisted to the new town, he had not dreamt of it being so traditional. Less than 45 minutes away, Columbia had a thriving queer community that Justin and his boyfriend were well involved in. Even their police force was welcoming. But this new position in Normal felt anything but.

Before Officer O’Shaughnessy had even entered the building, he already received sideways glances. He appeared nothing like the other overly manly men there, his more androgynous appearance colliding with the two genders established by the town. But through his worry, Justin did feel a sense of pride by bringing a bit of diversity to the town, at least in terms of sexuality. And now here he was, on his first assignment with his new patrol route.

Unaccustomed to the height of his new vehicle–a literal truck rather than the typical sedan–Justin took a deep breath before grabbing the keys. His job was easy today. The Chief wanted him to get adjusted to town, harmonize himself with it. “Things work a little differently around ‘ere,” the Chief’s Southern twang sticking out a bit at the end. “The quicker you learn to fit in and be like all the other men, the better.”

It took Justin a moment to figure out how to get the truck started, after all he drove a Prius–wait, a foreign car? Heck no, he only drove American vehicles. Shaking his head, Justin started the engine and pulled out of the station. He was feeling confident, the Chief’s words flashing through his mind as he began his patrol.

Unsurprisingly, there were not that many streets in town to check out. The main road, the side roads, the business versus residential roads. It was not anything like Columbia, that beautiful, expansive, expensive, crowded, woke wasteland. Nah, Justin liked the speed of this town a lot better. It was quaint and slow, everything moved at its own pace. It was not influenced by those protests or silly parades.

After a while, Justin decided to pull over to stretch. His body was already aching, although he could not explain why. He had kept himself slim over the years through marathons and–running? Justin chuckled to himself. Yeah right! He worked out at the local gym everyday, pumping each of his muscle groups to their fullest capacity. He wanted to be big after all, just like all the other guys on the force. So he must have been sore from the nightmare of a workout Chief had dumped on him earlier to get a gauge of his abilities. Justin had perfectly met the average.

Justin peered at the time from his dashboard when he reentered the truck, noticing it was already time for his lunch break. Excited, he pulled out his bag and started grabbing items. Tomato sandwich, baked veggie chips, hummus…wait, was this his lunch? He went through the items again. Thick club sandwich with extra meat, two bags of potato chips, can of cheap beer. Yeah, that seemed a lot more appropriate. A real man needed to eat a real man’s lunch after all. Justin was relieved his wife had not packed him some vegetarian or vegan bull crap.

Justin paused for a moment, demolishing his meal before starting the truck up again. He had a wife? Well sure he did! Just about every man in town had one. He fiddled with his ring finger subconsciously as he daydreamt about his beautiful bride. Eventually, Justin began fiddling with the plumper, bloated “finger” in his pants too as he daydreamt about his beautiful bride. What was her name again? Marcus…Markie…Margie! Lovely, pregnant Margie.

Justin refocused on the job at hand, he was to become a father soon after all. All the other men in the small town were already dads, and he was slacking! He was about to turn 24 and had no kids to show for it. Luckily, he was spared with some mature masculine features. Justin had grown out a beard as soon as he could, and a fluffy mat of body hair only accentuated this fact. Of course, he was not mature all the time. He had no problem roughhousing and dutch-ovening the other officers–it was just men being men after all!

Justin laughed to himself, waving to a few men as he passed by them. It was funny how all the men in Normal looked pretty similar. Even Justin was fitting the mold. All a couple of inches over six feet; those packed, muscular builds sustained by home cooked Southern meals from the misses; dressed in either similar work clothes, home clothes, or church clothes. Their interests and morals were so well-aligned too. It was like the town had its own personal standard for everyone to follow.

Registering the time once more, Justin sighed…Jared sighed disappointedly as his shift had once again come to an end. Pulling back into his spot in the station’s parking lot, he was not surprised to see all the other almost identical officers fraternizing. 

“Hey O’Shaughnessy, you comin’ to the bar for some beer with us?” one of them shouted.

“You betch’I’m comin’!” Jared confirmed in the same deep, Southern twang. Hopefully the missus would not mind too dearly, he was just being normal after all!

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Forest guardian

Daryl Dixon x reader [pt.2]

You plan a week long vacation to a luxury cabin. Luxury is nowhere near what you find.

Yet another AU, mentions of canibalism, also Merle is gross.

The bald man behind the counter of the shoddy store was probably the grossest dude you had ever seen, cleaning what looked like blood off his hands while he kept so openly staring at your tits in the low cut top and following you around with his intense gaze as you picked up some items from the racks. "Dontcha worry, doll. Had ta quit skinnin' rabbit when I heard ya come in. S'legal in these 'ere parts." He reassures you, and after you paid you sadly needed to interact with him even more, seeing you weren't familiar with the roads and needed help finding your destination.

"Oh, tha' cabin's over 'ere on tha' road. Can't miss it, sugar." He doodled a little house on the map for you. "Gotta park righ' 'ere." 'here' was marked with a small X. "Road ends, rests'a sand path, too narrow fer cars." With a filthy grin he pointed at the map and marked the location of the place you rented to spend a week in nature to heal. You needed to be away from society for a bit and booked this crazy cheap place in the middle of the woods close to a gorgeous lake. It surprised you there weren't any more cabins like that around, the area was so nice it would make a perfect luxurious vacation spot. Still, that gross man's voice rung in the back of your mind. "Now dontcha go swimmin' in tha' lake, missy. Pretty lil' thang like yerself'd gon' get snatched up ne'er ta be seen 'gain."

On the way to the cabin, following the route you were suggested you passed the lake and watched the sun cast a beautiful gleam over its surface.

'This really is too gorgeous to go swim in.' You mind wondered to the cabin as you closed in on its location, turning the last corner before the road cut off and your small path through the tree line became visible. Not wanting to walk the path twice you stacked everything you took onto your body and started to lug your stuff forward, seeing you had to round the cabin to make to the front door.

The cabin that looked nothing like the photos on the website.. "Oh of course I got catfished by a fucking cabi--"

Stopping dead in your tracks you dropped your bags and sent yourself forward, up the wooden porch and down on your knees.

A man laid passed out in the door opening of the cabin, his breaths shallow. Every item he wore was covered in dried mud and stained to hell and back. A dead rabbit laid beside him, probably dropped from his grasp when he went down. Kneeling closer you looked him over for and wounds and found a deep gash on his side when you turned him over, and saw what looked like a stab wound on his upper arm.

Underneath long, greasy hair there was a large gash on his face, long healed over and leaving an angry scar over an empty eye socket and one side of his mouth was torn open.

You wanted to stare but needed to help this man first, going to find your first aid kit and cleaning the wounds after dragging him onto the cot in the corner of the ratty cabin.

"I'm sorry." You murmured at the man who didn't even hear you as he was out cold. Applying the disinfectant to his wound had you wince along with the soft twitch of his body and a wave of panic washed over you.

What if he woke up, with you hovering over him? You had spotted the throwing axe strapped to his waist, along with two large hunting knives and suddenly prayed you wouldn't end up on the wrong end of those.

When he didn't wake you continued to clean and bandage his arm, and thanked yourself for throwing a pack of butterfly stitches in your bag and carefully stuck them over the cut over his side with one hand as the other held it closed between your fingers.

Wrapping his arm was easy, but having to unroll the bandage around his waist was proving to be a challenge, having to shove your arm underneath his body to pass the bandage to your other hand multiple times.

The invasive movements had moved the man's body and it surprised you he hadn't woken up by the time you tied off the end.

With his wounds patched you could only sit around and wait. You got scammed by a too good to be true offer on a cabin and the first thing you had to do after getting creeped out in the shop was patch up a stranger's wounds yourself because the area had no service.

Curiosity got the best of you after a moment and you went to snoop around the place, passing time by going through cabinets and drawers.

At the third drawer you opened you felt like you stumbled on a goldmine. A black wallet and chain, and a passport laid pushed towards the back.

"Daryl Dixon, huh." Both the ID and the passport belonged to the man, and other cards in the wallet held the same name. It had to be him.

You gave the pictures a long inspection, turning to go compare to the passed out man behind you.

Instead, before you got the chance to turn a hand came and snatched the items from yours. "S'mine, thank you very much."

With a shriek you turned to face the voice and were met with the iciest blue eye you had ever seen.

The open drawer dug into your back as you tried to move away from him.

With the stabbing feeling your gaze turned back to the drawer, hoping to close it but something familiar caught your eye. So instead you dug your hand to grab at a flyer, and with it pulling out a stash of attached papers that scattered over the floor and made Daryl take a step back.

The paper in your hands was filled with the same photos as the cabin rental showed. "The hell?" It was a sales flyer, it told about the building plan for a large amount of cabins surrounding the lake. You looked past the flyer to the floor, bending down to look at the various news articles about the area.

"JUST ANNOUNCED: NEW LUXURY VACATION HOMES." That one spread information about the upcoming tourist attraction.

A smaller piece announced a delay due to "disagreements from locals." You thought if Daryl and the shop guy were those locals.

Then a large, gruesome front page spread.

"MASSACRE AT BUILDING SITE. PROJECT CANCELED."

The title did the article no justice, the first sentence warning people to stop reading if they were easily nauseated, and continued on to go into detail of the events where a whole building crew was murdered mere hours after their scheduled arrival at the site. The murders deemed "too gruesome to share in more detail.".

More articles of missing campers and words of the mysterious serial killer in this area were scattered around and that sudden panic from earlier arose again.

You were dead. It was a fact at the time you first thought of it and it was still a fact now that you saw all this. With shaking breaths you slowly looked up at the man still standing before you.

His hand rested on the handle of his hunting knife, fingers not yet curled around it. His one eye staring, clearly deep in thought.

"That's you, right? The killer?" Your fingers rested on a smaller article, looking further up at his face.

A quiet acknowledging grunt left him as he turned around and ignored your further words.

Daryl's mind raced with opinions, facts and other voices that all called out different things.

He killed trespassers. Humans were bad for these woods, they shouldn't exist here. Except for him and his brother. But this one healed him, patched up his wounds and made sure he didn't die. You weren’t here to harm..

His wandering mind had led him outside, lighting a cigarette and deciding to return the favor and rummage through the bags you brought, fishing out a tub of cookies from your backpack.

From just outside the doorway you heard the familiar click of the tub clasps opening, followed by a loud crunching.

“Huh. HEY!” Getting up from the floor you made your way over to the man and snatched the box from his hands. “Those are mine, thank you.” Your tone mocked his from before and Daryl grunted in protest.

“Why’re ya ‘ere anyways?” You huffed in response, a hand on your hip and pointing the one with the box at where he still sat in front of your pile of bags. “Obviously I came here on vacation, but I guess I’ll be driving home again since I got scammed…”

You had moved to start packing up your first aid kit and moved over to stuff it back into your backpack but pausing, and handing the kit to Daryl. “Why?” He spoke around lungfuls of smoke before blowing it out away from you. “Got ‘nough a’those layin’ ‘round.”

‘Why’re ya tellin’ her tha? She saw yer a killer. Why aint she dead yet?’ The voice in his head blended with his brother’s, scolding him like he was so used to, but still not believing you were harmful enough to kill.

Besides, you knew how to tend to wounds which was useful.

Hell, even going out to find his brother to bring him an outdoor oven and ingredients to make those cookies and keep you around just fir those was enough to dispel the voices.

You were standing in front of the storage space at the back of he cabin and you were worried. Why were you following this killer and not just leaving your stuff behind and running to your car? You’d never speak of this and find some excuse on the way home. But still you kept standing there next to him as he opened the door and showed the huge collection of useful stuff. All taken from trespassers.

“You’re killing me aren’t you?” The words weren’t supposed to leave your mouth and a hand clamped over it immediately after, eyes on him in fear as tears threatened to spill due to the panic you were causing yourself. But then again, would it really be that bad if he killed you? No more shitty jobs and cheating boyfriends. No more crying yourself to sleep over bills and food.

“Yer dif’rent.” You barely caught his words when he disappeared into his stash and throwing a soft fuzzy blanket at you. “Feel tha’ one. Ya like tha’?” You hadn’t throwing the item until it hit you in the face, grabbing to catch it before it hit the ground and being taken off guard even more by how soft it was. It calmed you, rubbing it against your cheek. At the sight of the tab on it you gasped, taking a closer look at it and staring back at Daryl, your previous worries entirely overridden by the shock. “Why do you have a hundred dollar blanket in your shed?”

He only shrugged. “Sum whiny whore had it. Guess ‘er boyfriend thought campin’ at a pretty lake was gon’ get ‘em laid or sum’n.”

“Bitch was fuckin’ disgustin’.” A shudder ran along his spine at the memory of cutting her open. “All ‘er curves fake, no meat left on ‘er bones tha’ was edible. Damn fillers leakin’ out of ‘er flesh over the fire.” He just rambled about it like it meant nothing to him at all while you stared. He ate them? You were getting hungry just now but that feeling faded just as quick upon hearing him talk.

He saw the disgust on your face and decided he needed to shut up. “Ah, sorry. Ain’t normal people talk.”

His apology really came out of left field and had you swallow a giggle, but failing and sputtering out a laugh. “Why even are you telling me all this?” Despite your laughs it was a serious question. “I mean, what if ai leave and call the cops on you?” Not that you were going to, but you got curious and had already decided you were fine with however this day was going to end. If this guy as gonna roast you over a fire then so be it, you weren’t scared anymore.

“Who says yer leavin’? M’keepin’ ya ‘ere with me. Yer dif’rent.”

Different. There it was again, he’s called you that more than once now. “Who says I want that?”

“Y’aint runnin’ yet.” He put his pointer fingers together in a counting gesture. “Ya patched me up. An’ yer not scared a’me ‘n ma face.”

It’s true. When you first saw his face it shocked you a bit, but mostly you were curious how someone could survive a wound like that. You nodded thoughtfully, not entirely aware you did so and earned a smile. “I aint plannin’ on eatin’ ya. But ya gotta respect ma rules or I’ll change ma mind ‘bout it.”

“If you’re talking about eating people you better end me now, there’s no way I’m doing that, ever.” You held your hands up in defeat with the blanket tossed over one shoulder. “Go ahead.”

This time it was Daryl’s turn to laugh. A deep, rumbling laugh that had you squint at him. He laughed?

Your calm around the offer for him to kill you right where you stood surprised him. You really didn’t care if he took you out. He respected that, so as long as you were fine with his ways he had no reason to get rid of you. “Dontcha worry yer pretty lil’ head ‘bout tha’. Aint gon’ make ya eat ‘em. ‘Nough small game ‘round ‘ere fer ya. I’ll keep ya fed.”

Oh. That wasn’t so bad. Yeah, rabbits and squirrels weren’t part of your menu now but as long as he wasn’t feeding you humans.

Talking about eating made the grumble in your stomach make another appearance, this time accompanied my the unmistaken noise of hunger. A huffed laugh and a nod towards the front door had you both back inside where Daryl still had his rabbit he had started skinning at his makeshift kitchenette across the room rom where you sat on the bed eating your leftover sandwich.

You observed him from a distance. How he skillfully took apart the animal and separated the meats while keeping an eye on his fireplace in the meantime.

“Hey, c’mere.” Without looking up from his work he waved one hand above his head to get your attention. He made sure you got the pieces you wanted, and prepared them to your liking. The way he was roasting them over the fireplace was almost like an inside barbecue.

“Smells nice.” You had moved to sit next to him beside the fire that roasted your dinner.

You ate together and spent the time after in quiet togetherness. Daryl cleaned up the rabbit’s leftovers and spent some time doing god knows what outside while you stayed in. You sat on the bed fidgeting with your clothing and the soft fuzz on the blanket he gave you. For a short moment you wondered what you were still doing here, why you hadn’t gotten up and started walking away, but now your mind was blank, staring mindlessly at the floor. You didn’t even notice Daryl come back in. He just suddenly appeared in your view, dropping a stack of bedrolls and sleeping bags at your feet and beginning to roll them out. When you realized his implications you let yourself fall. Ack with a sigh. You really had been here since early in the afternoon and still hadn’t made an effort to leave and were about to spend the night in a killer’s cabin in the woods..

You wondered if all these setbacks in life had officially driven you mad.

After you offered to take over from Daryl to “make your own bed” he only scoffed and tapped your ankle to make space. “Makin’ ma own bed ‘ere. Ya keep the cot, s’fine.” You went back and forth a bunch of times but he kept insisting you kept the bed. Why was he so kind?

You tossed him his pillows and got a quizzical look that followed you as you went to retrieve the ones you brought from your duffle bag at the door. With an understanding grunt he moved on, unzipping a sleeping bag and laying it over the bedding and left through the curtain beside the kitchenette.

“You brush your teeth?” You were seriously confused now. “You, a serial killer living in the middle of nowhere, brushes his teeth.” You pointed at him, hand palm up in disbelief. He rolled his one eye at your wording and took the thing from his mouth and pointed it back at you in an almost threatening way. “Yeah, so?” He spoke around a mouthful of foam. “Ya will keep up too when ya gotta yank out a rotten tooth ‘n can’t eat nut’n but soup fer weeks.” He scoffed at your assumption of his hygiene just because he killed people. “Gotta keep clean ta eat. Can’t eat, can’t hunt. Can’t hunt, can’t keep them woods ‘ere safe.” His tone was serious, he meant every word and made it clear these woods meant much to him. Enough to kill for. After he was done he turned away again and the room fell silent once more, taking it as your cue to crawl under the soft blanket Daryl gave you and sleep for the night.

You were about to lay down and zone out when he walked back through the curtain, ducking b something out of one drawer lower than you got before when you got there and move back, keeping what was in his hand hidden from your line of sight, but you caught something in his mouth for a second. “Wait. Hold up.” Oh fuck. His mind told him he fucked up by grabbing that magazine. You were gonna ask what he grabbed and there was no way you needed to know what he was planning to do behind that wall. You sat up and watched as he peeked his head from behind the curtain to look at you with a raised brow, faking his best annoyed look. “Hmm?” With a toothbrush between the scarred end of his lips he waited for you to speak.

[twistedwonderlandwriting]

-˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹ Desperation ˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹-

---------------------------------------

Wordcount:1,101|readerx:Sebek Zigvolt|Style:Oneshot

WARNINGS: Angst!|Implied violence|Blood|

---------------------------------------

Sebek paced the room back and fourth the cheap immitation wood while glancing twords the phone lying directly top of her comforter on the perfectly made bed. Sighing exasperatedly whilst crossing his arms over for a few more impatient seconds while crossing and storming towards his bed and picking up her phone. Shaking it frustratedly like he was choking the device before dropping the rectangle onto his bed. Pointing to it accusationaly while leaning down and getting into its face or rather screen like that was going to do something. Raising his voice as if commanding the machine.

"CALL YOU INSIGNIFICANT HUMAN!"

Silver from across the room let out a scoff at this melodramatic display. That he foud quite ridiculous, almost to the point of being comediac. Lifting his sleepy head a bit better while commenting, quirking a single brow upwards slight while telting his head to the side slightly, his lips pressed into a line. sending a "really" look to the uptight retainer.

"That won't accomplish anything."

Sebek huffed at him, stomping his foot slightly before sending a glare Silver's way. Usually he wouldn't dare to act this was since he considered it to be a tad childish and un-knightly not to mention shamefull to Waka-sama but this was his room and there was no one to judge his strange behavior. Reaching across his bed and grabbing one of the few pillows on his bed. Flinging it hard twords Silver.

"Silence Yourself!'

Silver tilted to the left slightly tiredly and unnecessarily to avoid the rouge pillow that had been thrown twords him quite poorly for sebek considering that it hadnt even been in the general vicinity of her slouched form on a bean bag, instead hitting the wall right next to the tv. Glancing to the tv that was now stable after the brutal attack.

"Your aim was horrid. Perhaps you should go train." He huffed at his reply. Now was not the time to train. The human was late to their scheduled phone call. Making exaggerated gestures while speaking a bit too loudly.

"Now is not the time to train! The human is late."

Humming in thought of course silver just had to comment, he might burst into flames if she didnt, well he may have said er- well thought it was a comment but it was more like a observation. He hated when he was right."You must be quite fond of the prefect to wait this long."

Silver stated sleepily while trying to resist the urge to close his eyes. Though Sebek being the stubborn man he was refused, even as his cheeks were tinted with pink at the mere thought of them. "Of course not. They are nothing but a week human" However Silver just shrugged, lowering his head while Sebek sighed impatiently, turning once more twords her phone. Pressing the power button just once seing the time being 6:43 with his painfully empty notification center directly underneath. Staring emptily at the screen. "You have that look again... What? Daydreaming of walking with them in the forest or somethin?"

Why hasn't they called yet? They aways called by now. Is something wrong? Did something happen? Are they mad? Are they mad at me? What could i have done? Was it something i said? Did i offend them? Did i insultthem? Are they just bored? Are they done with me?

Something in his heart was aching, like someone was squeezing his heart, his brows burrowing together as he attempted to identify this feeling.

"They'll call. Im sure they will."

Sebek nodded reluctantly, forcing himself to turn away from the rectangle she had been awaiting a call from. Maybe he was being overprotective clingy and obnoxious, but it was nice to have someonethat was willing to hear Malleus’s greatness, they listened to him daily listing off the princes superior traits. So he had become a bit expectant...but he really enjoyed their company, though he would dial this back a bit..one call would be ok to miss....

Little did he know of the body laying outside of school in the bushes.

.

.

.

.

It was early the next morning when Sebek awoke, and not his usual awaking at 5am. Groggily turning over as he stirred from his slumber, then the sound of footsteps alerted him of a unwanted presence in his room. Sebek immediately became alert, sitting up in bed. Reaching over to his sheathed sword in the dead of the night. His hand grasped the handle in the sword in a matter of milliseconds, prepared to strike down his foe in seconds before a familiar voice came through the darkness.

"Keep the it sheathed."

He paused at Lilia, wondering what the fae was doing in his room at the ungodly time of two am since the fae had never been in his room without being invited. Especially not when the green haired half fae was sound asleep.

"Lilia-Sama, what are you doing? Did something happen to Waka-sama-"

Lilia shook his head twords the overprotective teen. Quickly cutting off his line of questioning so that this conversation would be limited to 10 minutes instead of a hour.

"No, the headmage called a meeting. I was just here to leave a note to explain it in case Malleus and I had not returned when you had awoken."Sebek was surprisingly aware although he had awoken not a few moments ago. This was unusual, the usual didn't have a meeting until at least 8 am unless it was emergency.

"What is it?"

The Vice warden hesated for a few moments. Internally debating whether or not he should inform sebek of the situation, especially since it had to do with the human he had recently grown to be fond of and he didn't know what was to come. Eventually deciding that sebek was mature enough and that he would figure out anyways and it was best he heard it from a reliable source.

"I am not for certain what is going on, but it involves Grim and prefect."

That was all the confirmation that he needed. Throwing off his comforter, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed. He strode over to to his closet and swung open the doors….taking only a few moments to dress grabbing his phone and keys all within a minuteexit so he may follow close behind...hesitating and looking back at his sword for a moment. Before he swiftly grabbed it before following behind the fae.

Lilia apparently made not objections as they walked through Diasomnia to the mirror the path being cold and dark lacking the comfort it brought during the day….eventually reaching the mirror slipping through it to the other side.

The freezing air of hitting his face as soon as he made his way to the other side appearing in the room everyone used as a meeting room for housewarden. Immediately he was met with the sound of crying, his heart clenching at the context of it all. Taking a step or two closer to the circle of people gathered around something only to see grim. "I miss my hench human! You have to bring them home! Please! They wouldn't leave. Not without telling me! They have been gone for hours. I swear I'll be good. Just bring them back." It was heart-renching to see this usual pridefulcreature litterally sobing heartbroken on the ground Begging. Pleading. For his friend to return.

Riddle stepped in the center next to the creature, clearing his throat, having a attention direct twords him as he raised his voice to make a announcement. "The issue has been made clear. Let us waste no more time. Kalim, Vil, Jade, Trey, Leona, Ortho Lilia cover your dorms. Ruggie, Azul, Jamil, rook, Idia, Sebek Search campus. Any questions? No? Let's move." No on dared ask any questions, this was their prefect. Even if some didn't consider themselves close to the magicless human they at least owed them for all they had done. Sebek ignored everyone else as they scrambled to gather their wits, moving past as he entered the outdoors. Shoving away all his swirling thoughts of what may of happen to his human as he pressed on. Searching through the darkness.

.

.

.

.

The chilly air was in his face making his nose a tad pink. Each and every breath being tainted with condensation making it look like smoke in the frigid air. A distinct crack came from the greenery immediately Sebeks mind went to the worst, his hand flying to his handle, quickly withdrawaling the sword from its sheath. Imaging the worst, huge, magical creature that may have caused you to not return. A snap sound emanated once more as something got closer. Sebek prepared to strike the vile creature where it stood. Only for a tiny squirl to appear from the bushes. Sebek scoffed at himself for having such a immediate reaction only for it to be futile in the end. Taking a few steps closer to the bush to look a bit closer at the creature only for it to scamper away.

Sheathing his sword about to turn away when a small hint of a dark color in the bushes caught his attention. Taking a few steps closer her drew his wand. Casting a simple light spell to reveal what lay within the darkness. A dark red substance splattered on the wall as it dripped from the bushes. The smell of metallic hitting him in the face hard. His eyes widening at the sight and darting all over to take in. Every detail.

Then his eyes landed on your skin that was now purple and red in most areas. Immediately kneeling beside you he frantically removed his jacket draping it over you before gently picking you up. His usually gelled hair now down in its natural form and hanging over his eyes. Your skin was as cold as ice to him as he cradled you in his arms. Running his fingers throughout your hair while muttering desperate apologies. Wishing that he could make it all go away. Tears running down his face as he begged your unconscious body not to forgive him, but just to make it.

"I'm so sorry. I failed human. I failed at protecting you. I don't deserve to be Waka-sama’s retainer. Please please please don't die. Not now. Not due to my foolishness. I don't want your life cut short."

[staarri]

WHAT A STAND UP GUY!

— neuvillette’s ideal way of “making up” to you is going to a corn maze. you’re deathly afraid of mazes. (and spooky things in general.)

c. neuvillette

t. gn!reader, modern setting, horror elements (jumpscares, suspense), mentions of blood, its just a corn maze (he says), wc: balls IM KIDDING… 2.3k

m. @mikashisus @mitsvriii @lowkeyren @https-sourlimes @akutasoda @tragedy-of-commons @/stellaronhvnters

happy stellaween folks, i chose the prompt CORN-MAZE!!! (creator comments at the end)

“I didn’t take you to be a horror fan, Neuvillette.”

There's barely any light in the room at all—save for the eerily placed candles and lanterns—it’s dark, it’s stuffy, and uncomfortably cramped for a lobby. For a corn maze, you’d expect an open area for the registration. Apparently, this one was a little more extra with the planning and design to the point where they made sure there was absolutely no way you could see the maze, which adds to the surprise and spooky factor, you suppose.

“You learn something new everyday,” your partner, the main cause of the ‘death due to corn maze fright’ incident of Stellaween ‘24, looked at you with curiosity.

“Frightened already? We haven't even entered the maze itself yet.”

“I am not frightened,” You said, clenching your jaw. “and—this place… Er, whatever the hell this lobby is supposed to be, is dark and cramped. That's two things you should never mix.”

“Sure. Everything you say must be true, no?” He laughed before moving forward to the glass box. 

Even the registration itself was on theme. The glass had several minor cracks, there was one that went all the way from the right side to the end of the left. Fake cobwebs everywhere, an obviously cheap jack-o-lantern with an electric candle inside of it is placed on the middle of the desk, a huge sign on top of the little box that has ‘SIGN UP (don't let it chase you)’ written in a dark red with exactly three handprints on random areas.

The design is cheap, cliche, and too common. It’s something you’d find everywhere—but the sounds playing through the hidden speakers and fog is what enhances the ‘spookiness’ everything has. How nice, even the staff dressed up for the occasion. The employee on the left had face paint similar to a  skeleton, and the other was a… Bloody nurse?

You get the tickets, (un)fortunately. The cashier pointed out a rule they had for the maze and that was no other than a ‘strictly no refunds’ policy. 

Great. This day has truly been going the way you originally wanted it to.

Two days ago, you texted Neuvillette saying you wanted to go to the theater. There was a specific musical that was showing for a halloween special, you had been interested in watching it for a while now. Of course, Neuvillette being a busy man, you had to first ask if he could go so you wouldn't risk wasting money on an extra ticket. Sadly, he took way too long to reply. He had seen-zoned you for days before finally saying yes, this morning. You didn’t secure the tickets to the show, and it was a limited time thing. You’re not that bummed out about it anyway, he shortly apologized to you in person and said he would make it up to you.

That’s exactly what led you to this situation right now. With a heart rate going up to 98 as you slowly make your way to the entrance of the corn maze. With how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself—you never liked corn mazes. One thing that made you dislike it was a movie showing two characters, a boy and a guy, running around before the boy eventually disappears. The whole point of the movie was showing how fast time flies. Although it wasn't exactly a horror show, it certainly made you fearful that you, too, would disappear if you entered a corn maze.

Many thoughts scatter in your head as the ushers bring you to the gates. The only thing separating you (and Neuvillette) from a self-proclaimed ‘scariest corn maze’ was two hollow pieces of wood with, you guessed it, fake blood all over it.

“Is this your idea of salvaging a relationship with me?” You muttered, genuinely questioning the man beside you. He just nodded—saying ‘It’s really not that bad if you think about it.’ and going on a short-lived rant on how everything is fake.

“Please ensure all your belongings are safely kept in your bags, we are not liable for any damage or lost property.” One of the ushers reminded the two of you, “Once you’re ready, just look towards the camera over there and shout; ‘Stellaween’.”

“What will it be used for?” You wondered, looking at the direction they pointed at.

“Ah, well you signed a waiver that you were allowing the two of you to be recorded, did you not?” 

Right, you completely forgot about that. There were cameras that were going to record the ‘jumpscare’ moments. Did you agree to it? You had zoned out during the registration, you don’t remember a single thing. But of course, Neuvillette nodded, saying that you did.

Some god must’ve cursed you with bad luck today.

Not only will you enter, possibly, one of the most nerve-wrecking places you’ve ever been to, you’ll be recorded while doing so. Each reaction, each scream—and if you do die from fright, it will be because of some cliche, overboard, corn maze.  Will that be on your mural? 

“Come on,” Neuvillette whispers, egging you on. He puts your hand in his, squeezing you a little to give you some motivation. Of course, he would be with you every step of the way. “I’ll keep you safe, my dear.” 

You look at him—you would trust this man with your entire life, you think.

“Would you like one of these?” The staff shows you a long, orange bandana. “You can wrap it around your wrists, a lot of recent explorers have done this method to ease some of their worries. It’s safe in there, no need to be scared.”

Neuvillette takes the bandana and thanks the worker. He works fast, tying the piece of cloth between the two of you with ease and skill. 

“Let’s go?” He asks, brushing some hair behind your ear and gives you a quick kiss on the forehead to give some encouragement.

To his surprise, you quickly nod your head after three deep breaths.

Similar to the lobby, the maze itself is also dark. And cramped. With tall cornstalk, it's hard to see anything beyond the area you’re in now. It’ll be difficult to cheat your way through this. Neuvillette is still holding your hand as you two take a few turns, you had honestly thought he would let go by now—then you realize you were the one squeezing his hand so hard, as if he would run away from you the second you’d let go.

There are a few lanterns scattered throughout, and some candies to lead the way. You don't dare pick one up though, you wonder how long it's been there or how many people have already stepped on it. Suddenly, a groan can be heard from… Somewhere, in the maze.

“Neuvi, you don’t suppose there are actors in the maze, do you?” You ask, worrying about any possible ‘jumpscares’, as the staff had mentioned before you entered.

“It wasn’t listed in their advertisement post…” He hummed, bringing a hand to his chin as if trying to remember the details. “…No. No—I don’t think there was ever something stating there were any actors, nor anything saying that there wasn’t.”

Shit. 

A distant humming, followed by a groan, and a click.

You grab Neuvillettes arm, basically hugging it like a koala would. Looking around, you try to see if there was anything at all—any indications that someone was coming.

Click.

“My dear, I’m with you.” He brings his free hand to rub it soothingly against yours. Warm and comforting. You relax a little, that is until you notice the clicking noise was getting much, much louder. “There’s no need to worry. They aren’t real.”

It didn’t take too long for you to realize that—yes, there are actors in the maze. Yes, there are a bunch of them. All dressed up in different costumes; one a vampire, a ghost, another a werewolf, and a zombie. All have some sort of red in their outfits, smudged fake blood (or is it paint?) across their shirts and faces. It’s so overdone, but seeing it in person makes it absolutely horrifying.

There are about four of them, two are chasing Neuvillette, and the other two are chasing you. You bolted as soon as you noticed them, and the bandana tying you and Neuvillette together had loosened—leaving you with no companion in a dark, cramped, absolutely horrible corn-maze. This had to be your no-good, very-bad day.

Silence fills the air. You managed to mislead the actors to a different part of the maze, and you hid underneath a desk prop, for god's sake. You take your phone out from your bag, trying to contact Neuvillette, except you see the empty bars on the top screen. No signal.

Recounting your series of unfortunate events today:

You didn’t get to watch that halloween-special-limited time show.

Neuvillette’s idea of ‘making it up to you’ is by going to a corn maze.

Tickets are non-refundable, so you’re basically forced to go.

There are actors in the maze. They can run.

You just lost your only companion—and there's no signal.

You can't believe you have to put an ‘and’ in your imaginary list. By the looks of things, you might even expect something else happening right this moment, maybe a few minutes from now, once you crawl out under the desk.

You turn off your phone and turn it back on again, hoping the signal thing was a joke your eyes played on you (it wasn’t.) There’s nothing you can really do right now except think about what exactly pushed you to be confident and fearless before entering the corn maze.

Neuvillette just had to be your partner—he just had to have the most obscure ideas of apologizing. A corn maze, out of everything he could’ve chosen to do to celebrate the spirit of halloween! It wasn’t having a nice, peaceful picnic. Nor was it just carving out ridiculous faces into pumpkins, or watching a simple scary movie—No, it just had to be a corn maze! A first hand experience on becoming the main character in a horror film where they have to escape the crazy murderer with an equally crazy looking hatchet!

God, you needed to take a deep breath to calm your mind. Whatever’s going through your head is making you sound like you were going insane. 

“—Come on, I’m right here.” A voice says in the distance. Now that you think about it, it sounds somewhat familiar. 

There's a flash of the familiar white, long hair you’ve grown accustomed to. Did the actors chase down Neuvillette, steal his outfit, and his hair? You truly hope that wasn’t the case, that they weren't pretending to be that one person you find comfort in. Well, in this case, the only thing you find comfort in right now. 

Either way, this is a do or die situation (not really, you just like exaggerating things.) If you don’t come out of the desk, you doubt that Neuvillette would spot you, even if it's an actor or not. You can always tell them to break out of their role and take you out of the maze safely. So, slowly, you stand up from your hiding spot—risking yourself to be exposed to any actors who may be waiting to ambush you. You close your eyes shut and just pray that Neuvillette will spot you.

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” The voice says, gradually coming closer. Warm arms envelop you in a tight hug, hands rubbing soothingly on your back. Immediate peace and comfort in a moment of fear—truthfully, you would only get this feeling from one specific person in your life. You return the hug, allowing your rapidly beating heart to calm down now that you’re safe.

“Are you okay?” You nod to the question, allowing yourself to just breathe in this moment.

“We can stay like this for as long as you want to, my sweet.”

It takes a bit before you clear your mind. 

“That maze was nothing,” you brag—quite confidently too. The two of you had just finished taking a photo in the booth, and are just waiting for the photostrip to get printed. “It was so easy after all. The only thing that made it the least bit scary was the actors.”

“You’re acting as if you didn’t just sob the entire way to the exit whining: ‘Neuvi, I was soo scared. I almost died!’” He crossed his arms, imitating your voice with an overexaggerated high-pitched tone.

You huff, “Whatever! I got chased out by a werewolf and a vampire. That's a deadly combo, I say. Plus, they had like—fake blood all over them, you’d actually think they murdered someone!” 

“Sure, I’m sure it was just as frightening as you make it out to be.” Neuvillette had the nerve to laugh at your fears.

Your photo drops from the printer, but you don’t ever recall doing two. As you pick them both up, the first photo was the one you had taken in the booth not too long ago, and as for the second… It was the one where you and Neuvillette realized you were being chased. A QR code on the side saying: ‘VIEW YOUR VIDEO HERE!’

“Yes yes, I can already read your mind. I won’t send it to anyone, don’t worry.” Neuvillette laughed—once more—at the fear in your face. 

You don’t have to think about him showing it to others, I mean, he wouldn’t do that. You only need to think about the sheer amount of teasing you will get from this man for an entire week. And next year, when it’s halloween season once more, you doubt that Neuvillette will ever let you forget what exactly happened in this—the (self proclaimed) scariest corn maze of 2024.

creators comments. i know i said id be on break but the network said ‘writing event’ and i rushed to gdocs as soon as i could 😁🫶 requests are still closed however ,,,!!!!! ANYWAY heres a silly little thing ,, neuvillette has been PLAGUING my mind ever since i finished the fontaine quest <3 SO! i actually asked the srvr for their insights on who this should be about (i was torn between tighnari, neuvi, and thoma if i can recall that properly) and most of them said neuvi,, so here we are☺️ i forgot how to write and THATS IT!

[hobies-princealbert]

Head Empty. Thinking about high!plug!fontaine n high!reader. He’d def be the plug that flirts with her and gives her deals and one day he asks her to smoke wit him for free and they just start making out in his car listening to music. 😱😱😱

gurl the new pfp frightened me a bit ngl 💀💀

but coming right up! i took some creative liberties cuz i kinda forgot to double check what your ask said. im srry its just once i got that ball rolling, i couldn't stoppp ( ´,_ゝ`)

plug! fontaine x high! reader | (the nsfw is below the cutting off)

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♤▪︎▪︎

♤ taine wasn't exactly your first choice for a plug. he was a well known dealer in the glen, but the things he was known for made you hesitant. he was a no nonsense type dealer, he gives a price, you pay on time. if you can't do as simple as that then you wasting his time. and knowing you were tight on money sometimes, you decided it best to stick to the plugs you knew.

♤ but twelve wack ass joints later, you found yourself sitting in a certain green cadillac that you never thought you'd set foot in. both of you sat in silence for a few seconds, only a few feet away from each other.

♤ you patiently watched as he tried to light his spliff with the faulty lighter. growing more frustrated, he soon tossed the lighter onto the dash, then turned to you expectantly. and as if you could read his mind, you pulled your lighter and held it up for him to take.

♤ he stared at you for a bit, you felt as if you body was on fire. he had a pair of the scariest eyes you've ever seen. and he kept those eyes on you the entire time. not once looking away.

♤ you felt him wrap around your wrists. he pulled your hands closer to his face. your entire body became solid rock. all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears. the grip on your wrists were slack, giving you enough leeway to pull back if you wanted to. but something about the way he looked at you, made you stay still for him.

♤ he motioned for you to light the joint. you obliged. the orange glow of the flame made his eyes even more sinister. god he's terrifying. hot but, terrifyingly hot. once it was lit, he leaned back and let your wrist fall from his grasp. he took two puffs before he passed it over. " 'ere. take it. ' tell me if 'sgood enough."

♤ your breath was shaky as you inhaled the smoke. it was strong, definitely would get you fucked up in less than a minute. you handed it back to him. "you barely took tha' shi'. come 'ere."

♤ he placed the blunt back between his lips, as he settles one of his hands behind your head. "was he gonna gimme a shotgun right now. he's not....is he?" you let your brain rambled for bit till a low "open" brought you back.

♤ taine never does this, especially with cilents. but he took an interest in you. you seemed nervous, unlike most of his clients that just want their quick fix. and it helps that you weren't bad looking either. kinda cute in fact.

♤ but that didn't mean he wasn't fed up from watching your pretty little lips not taking his blunt properly. that shit ain't cheap. but you took the shot gun gave you pretty well. he saw how the smoke made your eyes a little teary, so he wiped a couple away before he let you go.

♤ you stared at him for a bit. he found you amusing that's for sure. and while he was trying to subside a smirk, you were trying to calm the ache between your legs. god you needed to get out this car before you did something you regret. but would you regret it? from the way his pants seemed to be stiffening, he probably felt the same way.

♤ reaching into his jacket he pulled a small plastic baggy,,that looked to contain at least 5 grams. your eyes went wide. this was way more than the agreed amount, that's at least $45 bucks, you didn't have that much on you. shit shit shit.

♤ "easy ma, this one's on the house" and with that you became one of his regulars. and his favorite at that.

♤ of course you became his favorite. i mean he'd never let a customer come over his house. much less one sit on his couch, smoke his blunt and watch a show on his tv.

♤ he certainly wouldn't let a customer stretch their legs across his lap either. or let one inch closer to him than appropriate, to the point where they made it onto his lap. he didnt mind, it definitely did help him relieve the ache between his legs. and he wasn't opposed to the way you let him kiss alongside your jaw, and even suck a couple marks into your skin.

♤ no regular of his ever let him pull down their shorts and toss them to god knows where. he's never gotten on his knees and licked a fat stripe along over their panties. never has he had to pull said panties to the side just so he could finally get a good look at how at your cunt.

♤ you were the only one who's clit he's mouthed at till his jaw ached. he didn't stop till he had to wrap his hands around your hips to hold you still.

♤ never once as taine let a regular, eagerly lick his precum from the slit to the point where he'd lull his head back everytime he felt their tongue dip into his slit. or had one force his cock into their mouth till the tip hit the back of their throat. and they stayed deepthroating him till he finally released. or had one lick up every last drop of cum that could find. no matter if it some was on his stomach, chest, thigh or on their face. he's never given a regular a couple puffs of his joint as a reward for sucking him to completion.

♤ he wondered if his weed made you like this. was it so good that it made you do your best to take him to the hilt, even though you could barely take a proper breath. probably it was the reason he'd take a minute or two cause the way your walls squeezed him, he swore he was gonna cum inside you right then and there.

♤ was his shit so good that it made you cry out his name and claw at his back with every thrust. had him having to slap your tits whenever you looked too far gone. make him tell you to how good you were, or that from the way your walls started to push him out, you were close. make him coo at you whenever you finally came, so you knew how proud he was. maybe it was why you bared the overwhelming sensation that your release brought so he could reach his edge. maybe that what made you mumbled about him cumming inside you.

♤ tempting but he preferred to release on your cunt so you could reach your hand down and desperately collect his droplets into your mouth. god he loved when you did that. he especially when you parted your slit so he could get one last lick before he let you suck it off his tongue.

♤ never had he had a regular make him feel that good to the point he gave them free weed.

[llanta-flema]

i just started watching the rookie and I NEED a The Rookie AU but make it ANDREIL, it could be like Andrew, a rookie, being injured while fighting with a criminal and he goes into the hospital and then he meets a nurse which happens to be NEIL JOSTEN, and then andrew gets like obsessed with him and he starts going to the hospital almost every single week with cheap excuses like he needs to guard over a patient, or that he just wanted food and the food from the hospital is good (even tho they both know its horrendous). he has done this for almost 2 months and every single time hes there he wants to ask Neil for his number or something but he never does, but one day, andrew gets into a HUGE fight with a criminal (bonus points if its R*ko), and then he gets injured so badly he ends up in the ER and Neil is just so worried and he tries to do everything he can do to help, and at the end everything goes well but andrew decides its enough and FINALLY asks Neil on a date, and Neil just laughs and asks him why did he took so long, bc cmon, the man has watched andrew go to the hospital every single week with lame excuses just to see Neil, but at the end Neil says yes and happy ending :))

bonus points if kevin is andrews TO (training officer), and hes a pain in the ass about rules and paperwork

[twisting-roads]

ranking the ecoh-ers based off their taste worst-best

6 - Distant Frontier Unfortunately he is mostly biometal or inedible material. What little meat there is is inside his head and chest. This meat tastes like rot and mold, and probably has a kind of musty smell

5 - Twisting Roads I've said this before but he tastes awwwfulll. His flesh is incredibly slimy and sticky and hard to chew. It's either bland and unpalatable or dangerously acidic and/or electrified. You could probably find a way to combine his meat with something else to balance out the taste, but you cannot get rid of the awful texture. However his blood would probably work as a great condiment

4 - Silent Light If you cut around the rotting parts you could possibly get something out of it. Tastes rather exotic. He's like the blue cheese of meats. A lot of the texture is leathery though, and couldn't be easily swallowed

3 - A Golden Strand Mostly fatty meat, which can be good if you cook it right. However, the constant stress AGS is put under, along with her not taking good care of herself in general has given her meat a "cheap" off-taste. I would say its still worth it because of how much meat you can get from her Would taste wonderful with the correct preparation

2 - Unbroken Promise While yeah, the fire eggs can be eaten on their own, the rest of him shouldn't go to waste. Rather crunchy, with a very chewy and spicy inside with a slight sweetness. The taste can overpower most things eaten with it though He's more of a light snack anyways.

1 - A Taut Thread Similar taste to AGS, however they are packed with more meat variety in textures. There are so many possibilities of what to do with them. Rich tasting flesh with a similar sweetness to UP without being overpowering. Also unlike AGS, they've actually been taking care of themselves, hence the incredibly high-quality meat

[slashingdisneypasta]

Doll!Chucky x Drunk!Fem!Reader x Freddy Krueger || Headcanons

*Set in the Horror House

Topic: Its a classic- you get drunk because you've had a sucky, sucky day. And you're just wondering by the house, barefoot and probably cold, when Chucky and Freddy see you and get you inside. (And... boy, does that sound threatening 😅 To be clear- this is mostly fluff XD )

(This can be read as romantic or platonic! Readers choice.)

Warnings: Characters who have no business ever being characterised as nice, being nice (In a way that I hope is still them 😅), Reader is sad and uses alcohol to numb themselves. (You're not depressed or an alcoholic though), and also the word 'bitch' is used quite a bit, I'm sorry 😅😅

Look if no one else is gonna write mindless, non-canonical fluff for these two shits then I WILL-

🍺 You're sitting on the porch swing with a blanket over your shoulders and Chucky in your lap, playing with his bright orange hair while Freddy lectures you- how did you get here??? This explanation is seemingly very simple.

🍺 Today was the first day of your life... it started out good, texting with Jennifer while you got ready for the day, but then you had a fight. Sure, you would both get over it tomorrow and you knew that, but it felt awful. Then your bus was late and so you were late to work, it was a busy busy day, your mood deteriorated... and finally you left early because you just felt that upset- which just made you feel worse, for missing work!

🍺 So you decided to go have a drink at a bar. That turned into 2... 3... then you were in a guy's lap and you lost your shoes. He was an ass, turns out, of course, and so the next thing you know--

🍺 You're strolling drunkenly, barefoot, down Jennifer's street sniffling and sipping a cheap wine straight out of the bottle. You just wanna see her- you think if she sees you so fucked up and sad then she'll stop being mad at you and... *sniffle*... give you some cuddles, and make you feel better after this hell day...

🍺 Oh, you hope she will. You need your best *hick* friend... *hick* please...

🍺 You're just wandering down the footpath, almost tripping a couple of times, when you hear fast footfalls behind you (Like boots) and a hand lands on your shoulder. You whip around, wide eyed, but relax immediately when you recognise Freddy's familiar form in your tipsy, dazed state. He's looking amused at you, and vaguely you think he must know that you're drunk, must have figured it out (He's clever ^^), because he waits for you to fully focus on him. Then with one blade he points downwards to your feet, letting you follow his gesture before talking.

🍺 "Princess I don't think you're supposed to leave the prince both shoes. If he cant findya with just one, I don't think you even want a dumbass prince like that."

🍺 "Hm?-... oh... I- I... it was hot... "

🍺 "Too hot for your shoes?" He looks bemused, but in your drunken state you think he's just concerned for you.

🍺 "Mhm... "

🍺 "... where are you going to, anyway?"

🍺 "Um, I- I-... " You start sniffling again, remembering where you were going and why you feel so so crappy- eyes immediately filling up with tears. "Oh. I, I was looking for- for Jen... We had a fi-ight, and I... I really needa see 'er... "

🍺 Freddy stares at you for a few moments- as much as he loves to see someone - anyone. especially something so fucking cute, like you, - crying like little bitch in front of him, something about this... doesn't sit right with him. After a moment of thought, he grows annoyed at his own lack amusement and twists you around and guides you back down the footpath again. "Well you're goin the wrong way. You go in this house, you'll find a bitch but she's asian, and she's gonna be real confused why you broke into her house late at night- c'mon. Lemme tell ya, jail aint for you."

🍺 He leads you to the right house - they all look the same in the dark!! you didn't know you were going to the wrong one... - and as soon as you step up onto the porch you hear another harsh voice yell in a way that makes you jump right out of your skin.

🍺 "Where the hell are that girls shoes, fuckface!?"

🍺 "Fuck, everything's my fault around here, huh kid?... I don't know, bitch. She said she was too hot wearing them, gimmie a break."

🍺 "We all know she's hot Freddy, that wasn't my question." Chucky sniggers, sat up on the porch swing with a wicked grin on his face. When he looks at your properly, sniffling and blowing your nose into a tissue from your pocket, and he makes an ewwwww sort of face, instead. "... and you made her cry. That's a little kinky even for you."

🍺 "... Uh, not its not."

🍺 "You're right, its not. Aaanyway- what the hell did you do to her??"

🍺 Here you finished wiping your nose and, tiredly now, turned to shake your head at Chucky. "No, its... *sniff* I was- was looking for Jen... a guy at the bar... he- he was an ass, and I just- "

🍺 Immediately they exchange an uncomfortable look. "Uhhh- what kinda ass?" Chucky asks, while Freddy gives you a quick once over.

🍺 You shrug, not truly thinking about what you're saying. "I- I thought he w-wanted t' cheer me up... but he didn't... she will, th- though, I hope,.. do you- do either of you know where she is maybe?... "

🍺 "Ehh... sorry kid, hate ta break it you ya but she left for the night... " As soon as those words leave Chucky's mouth your eyes fill up with tears all over again and you almost start crying immediately- before he fast tracks to stop it. "But hey!- y' share that bottle with me and y'can hang here. I betcha I'm better company then that millennial whore."

🍺 ... really? Immediately your heart soars, getting special treatment from one the meanest and scariest assholes in this house. The nicest thing you had ever heard him say before this moment!, you think!, was 'Get the fuck out of my way, please'! When you turn to Freddy, silently asking if that would be okay, he flashes you a smirk.

🍺 "Well, I am."

🍺 "Shut the fuck up, you pair of cauterized ass cheeks."

🍺 "That's a new one." "Yeah, pretty good, eh?" "Not bad, plastic breath."

🍺 As you sit down on the porch swing beside Chucky, taking some deep breaths of fresh, cool nighttime air to try and sober yourself, Chucky takes the cheap wine and he looks ridiculous with it but he takes a big gulp of it. Then turns to you, and asks promptly- so why're you so fucked up tonight, huh? Somethin' bad happen?

🍺 You stop, think about it... and immediately start crying into your hands.

🍺 Freddy pulls his hat down roughly over his eyes, and groans "no class... "- as if he's got any, either. Then turns and waltzes into the house again saying he's going to get the fucking box.

🍺 (He actually just goes to pee and comes back with a blanket for you)

🍺 A good while later, and you're getting quite sleepy just sitting there listening to Chucky and Freddy go back and forth from either side of you (You're not really contributing to the conversation, just sitting there with a blanket around you nodding or letting out little 'mhm's or 'uhuh's if they look at you to agree with them) and your gaze slips over to Chucky.

🍺 He stops mid-sentence to look at you, like, whadaya want?

🍺 Quickly he deadpans, recognising the look in your eye that he's become very familiar with since... you know... living as a good guy doll. "... you wanna fucken hold me, don't you?"

🍺 ... "Mhm... " You nod.

🍺 "Fuck, no. Get it outta your head. Do you think I enjoy that shit?? I'm the goddam Lakeshore Strangler, bitch, not a fucken Cabbage Patch kid. I'm feared. I'm infamous- no, do not fucken cry again. I swear, I'll stab you if you cry. Don't test me. Don't- aghhh!" After a few moments, he gives up, letting you gather him in your lap; One arm wrapping around his middle and the other hand slipping into his soft, messy hair. "If you tell anyone in there about this shit, you're gonna wake up with a new hole. I don't know where it'll be yet, I think I'll be spontaneous about it, but it will hurt."

🍺 "And you- " When Chucky turns to Freddy, who looks like he's about to explode seeing this, he stops. ... Slowly, he grins. "You know what?... Freddy buddy, why don't you tell us again how you lost so fucken bad to the momma's boy?" ... oh dear, you think, eyes going wide and round.

🍺 Like a light switch, all amusement is gone from Freddy's face, replaced by a furious glare, and he takes a deep, deep, deeeeeep breath; Getting up from the swing to stand in front of the two of you. "... you move your asses outta that chair before I finish and you die."

🍺 So yeah... explanation is seemingly very simple... but who would really believe you if you tried to tell them this all happened and Chucky and Freddy Krueger were actually nice to you??

[sinsofthefather-kulemi]

Osaka Locations: Cabaret Grand

Majima's Workplace Sotenbori

Cabaret Grand (or The Grand) is a popular cabaret in Sotenbori located on West Sotenbori Street. It's known for its superb staffing: beautiful, usually graceful women, waiters and floor managers that do their best at playing refined men and none other than Sotenbori’s one and only Lord of the Night, manager Goro Majima. Guests come to experience Cabaret Grand’s unique Sotenbori elegance complete with live performances by locally famous musical acts and sometimes even comedians and they stay for the men and women doing what they can to help them forget what’s happening in the outside world. 

The Grand prides itself on being an escape when one is in dire need of it. 

The Grand’s signature is its gorgeous wine red and lustrous gold color scheme. From the door to the ballroom (as well as the runway leading to the dancefloor), the flooring is carpeted in a fine, (imported) saxony then completed with an intricately designed berber carpeting. The dance floor and stage are made of porcelain that has a strict polishing schedule. It is rare to find filth and debris on the floor of The Grand as there is cleaning staff on standby that roam and monitor the ballroom like hawks. Gold lines the runway, strips of it are neatly pinned to the nose of each step leading to the 2nd floor, the red damask seating is topped with gilded accents even the walls aren’t free of that Cabaret Grand gold!

There’s not only a cover charge and request fee that might threaten to drain the average wallet’s er, customer’s pockets. The menu boasts a pretty hefty price tag too! There’s not much way around it. The Grand’s hostesses are some of the most skilled and persuasive salespeople one might meet. This is why, while Cabaret Grand tries to welcome anyone with an open billfold, the intended demographic isn’t quite the average entry level salaryman. 

The Grand prefers their boss’ boss! 

There’s a large dressing room and locker room for the talent downstairs not far from the restrooms. It’s not quite as luxurious as the rest of the cabaret but it was designed to allow the ladies to comfortably get themselves together between clients. There are even communal showers in the locker room for the busy bee who may not have time to get home and do so before or after their shifts. No men are allowed in there. The red patterned walls are lined with vanities that are assigned to a roster of women per vanity. This was recently implemented to aid with narrowing down the culprit when theft happens. It’s not foolproof but the manager of The Grand has heard fewer complaints since implementing this system.

Just upstairs is the main office that also doubles as a breakroom for staff. It’s typically empty as most staff prefer to enjoy their breaks outside of the cabaret. It’s far more unassuming than the ballroom and the ladies’ dressing room combined. There are simple, cheap desks, jamming file cabinets and dusty chalkboards on one side for work and with the help of a partition, the room is divided, allowing a rest area on just the other side. The rest area offers a decent television set, two couches and even a towel warmer to help take the load off. There is a telephone in the office as well that has a secure line unlike the recorded line downstairs at the front desk. This allows people like The Owner to call in to The Lord of the Night and offer some… words of encouragement from time to time. 

Visit Cabaret Grand whenever you’ve got the chance (and money)!

[heyitsme1040]

Broken Radiators & Movies [s.r]

summary : Reader is a nurse living in an apartment from the 1910s. It has its downfalls (a broken radiator that lets the cold seep in) and its perks (a super soldier neighbor). Meeting Steve Rogers is the biggest perk of living in the old building, and it leads to frequent movie nights. When the radiator is broken and a chill reaches the apartment, Steve lends the reader one of his sweaters. 

pairings : Steve Rogers x Reader

warnings : None really, mentions a bruise, mentions the reader working in the emergency room as a nurse. (If I missed anything please let me know!)

word count : 1,600

AO3 (x)

a/n : Day two of Comfortember is here! The prompt was ‘sweater weather’. So fun fact, I have some friends that really are ER nurses. The two funky little stories I wrote are real things my friends have encountered during a shift that was during the early hours of the morning. The things that happen in emergency rooms always seem so outlandish, I could never be a nurse from the stories I’ve heard. 

There were a lot of issues that came with your living in your apartment. It was an old building from the nineteen-tens, so this knowledge wasn’t surprising. Issues such as the faulty radiator that never worked in the winter, the windows weren’t insulated, the half-inch gap between the bottom of your front door and the floor, and the thin walls separating all the apartments. For as many issues there were, you couldn’t deny the benefits. Like the cheap rent, the sweet old lady who was the landlord, how few neighbors you had. Speaking of neighbors, the biggest benefit of this apartment was your next-door neighbor at the end of the hall. Steve Rogers, the Avengers’ very own Captain America. 

You recall when you first moved in the apartment being completely silent. You’d assumed it was vacant, until one day you heard your landlord, Mrs. Evelyn, greeting someone happily. Soon you heard the door next to yours open and close for the first time. A few minutes passed where you heard some movement next door before the silence you’d grown used to from it returned. Curious who your neighbor was, you decided it could wait considering the late hour it was. It was a few weeks before your schedules allowed your paths to cross again. 

You were in your hospital issued scrubs, balancing your grocery bags in one hand while holding a new plant in the other. Trying to get your key into the lock, you were ready to give up when they slipped from your fingers. With a defeated groan, you placed your head against the door while staring down at the keys. 

“Excuse me,” a friendly voice said. “Would you like some help?” 

“Please,” you answered while turning around. 

When you turned around, all you saw at first was blond hair, a muscular body bending down to grab your keys, and a leather jacket. Once he stood to his full height, you were shocked by how much this man towered over you. Steady hands slid your key into the lock and turned before retreating to his sides, leaving your key in the door. 

“Thank you,” you finally caught a glimpse at the man’s face, “Mister Rogers.”

His cheeks flushed lightly, “No problem miss…?”

“Y/N,” you shifted the plant to rest between your side and the arm holding your groceries to reach a hand out in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you.”

It’s been four months since meeting your quiet neighbor. You learned he wasn’t in often, having missions that last weeks at a time. It wasn’t uncommon for you to see him entering his apartment, still in uniform with his shield, as you were both coming home from and leaving for your shifts at the hospital. 

The two of you slowly became friends as your paths crossed. You’d begun to text occasionally; it was mainly Steve texting you his apologies whenever he’d be coming home at an ungodly hour. There were occasions where one of you would ask the other to grab the package that was being delivered, if either of you needed something from the store, or if you could explain to Steve something from the twenty-first century. Having one of earth’s mightiest heroes as your neighbor was a quiet affair. You’d grown close in your time together. 

It was time for your monthly movie night together. This month was at Steve’s apartment, and despite him arriving just this morning he insisted tonight be movie night. You had on your slippers and a pair of sweatpants alongside your black t-shirt with a fox printed on it. Knocking on his door, you adjusted the bag of snacks in your hand. The door opened quickly, Steve’s approach inaudible. 

“Hi,” he smiled, “come in.”

With how he towered over you, you had to look up from the white shirt that clung to him to meet his eyes. With your gaze moving upward it was no surprise when your eyes were focused on the dark bruise that was high on his cheekbone. You shuffled past him into his apartment. Once he closed the door, you couldn’t hold in your concern. 

“Are you alright? What happened?” You stood on your tiptoes to gently touch the skin around his bruise. 

“I’m fine,” he reassured. “It’ll be gone in the morning, plus it doesn’t even hurt.”

You pouted at his answer, but didn’t protest when he took your hand in his. He led you across the apartment to the living room, sitting the two of you on the couch. Before you could ask, he placed a blanket across your lap while you grabbed the remote. You cuddled into your side of the couch as he put his feet up on the coffee table. Tilting his head back to rest against the couch, he turned to face you.

“How was your shift?” He asked you like every time the two of you hung out. 

“Horrible,” you groaned. 

“What happened this time?” He chuckled.

“It was horrible. Today was my rotation at the emergency room, and I swear it was one of those days where the most bizarre people came in. A woman and her mother came in, and the mother claimed she was very dizzy. Making sure she was okay, we determined it was just vertigo. I was the one who had the pleasure of informing them of the diagnosis as well as handing over the discharge papers, but when I said it was just vertigo the daughter looked at me and replied with ‘no, she’s a libra’ and she was completely serious. Then as soon as they left I had to handle a fellow nurse who claimed a man that came in with kidney stones was just looking for drugs because ‘the uterus looks healthy.’ And that was at the start of my shift, it only went down from there.”

“That’s…a lot. But can I ask one question?”

“Sure.”

“What’s a libra?”

At his question I couldn’t contain the laughter that erupted from me. Steve furrowed his eyebrows at my reaction, and I finally managed to reply, “It has to do with when her birthday is,” between peals of laughter. 

Steve took a moment to process my words before he chuckled, too. Shaking his head, Steve gently took the remote from my hands. My giggles finally subsided as he turned on the television. 

“What do you want to discover today?” I gently ask. 

“I think the next movie on my list is Rocky. What is that?” He curiously looks at his small notebook. 

“It’s a movie about a boxer. Technically it’s five movies about a boxer, but overall it’s a boxing movie.”

“There’s five of them? I only have the first two, I thought that’s all there was.”

I shrug, “You don’t have to see them all. You don’t even need to watch all of the first one. It’s all about what you think you should learn about, y’know?”

“I guess so, yeah. I just don’t think we ever had movies that continued on that many times. Why would they do that?”

I grab the remote and begin to pull up the Rocky movies, “Well, some people really like them. And because of that, more movies about it get made.”

Steve nods at my response, focused on the television as the opening credits roll. I relax on the couch, enjoying being next to Steve. 

The sun has long since set and we are halfway through the third Rocky movie. The temperature has dropped and I can’t stop the occasional shivers that rush through me. It isn’t until another one hits that Steve pauses the movie. He quickly goes into a different room before emerging with a cream knitted sweater.  

“Sorry, the radiator’s broken again. This should help though,” he offers it to me as he sits down.

I stare for a moment before taking the sweater from his hand. I pull the soft material over my head and am shocked by just how much it engulfs me. The sleeves fall well past my hands and the sweater ends just above my knee. The soft material works quickly at capturing my warmth and keeping it around me. I sigh at the coziness of it before realizing the way it smells like Steve. A fresh, minty scent, clean smell, trapped in the fibers of the sweater. I curl into the sweater, enjoying having the material on me. Steve presses play on the movie again before sitting closer than before. 

It’s as the credits roll that a yawn escapes me. I stiffly stand up and stretch. Steve begins to pick up the snack wrappers from the couch while I shuffle to get my slippers on again. All too soon, Steve is following me to his front door. As I reach for the handle, Steve gently turns me around. 

“So I was thinking,” he starts off timidly, “that next time I’m back from a mission. Maybe we could go get dinner together? And maybe we can go around the city.”

“I’d really like that,” I smiled up at him. “It’s a date.”

“Yeah, it’s a date,” Steve smiles down at me, before kissing the top of my head.  

I wrap my arms around him loosely,“Oh! I almost forgot your sweater, here–”

“Hold onto it. It’ll keep you warm while I work on getting our radiators fixed. If mine’s broken again it’s likely yours will be, too.”

“Okay. Good night Steve,” I gently kissed his cheek. 

“Good night sweetheart.” Steve opens the door for me and I step out. 

I hear his door click shut moments after mine.

Author's Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.

©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.

[kittykatrattie]

"CJ is a stoner" Oh ur appealing to my stoner ass? You want my stoner headcanons?? Fine whatever twist my arm, here ya go

David and Gwen: David was the kid who fell hard for the DARE program propaganda and for ages firmly believed weed was a gateway drug and could kill you from one joint. It takes a lot of convincing from Gwen (and later Max) for him to realize weed is kinda safe. Still refuses to even try it until it's legalized recreationally. Gwen smoked in college to relieve stress and have fun but hasn't smoked since because she lost her plug. Starts smoking again when Max tells her that the Wood Scouts are selling

Max: Resident Camp Stoner. Started smoking occasionally at 14 and then every day when covid lockdown started and he was stuck at home with his parents. It's mostly him "self medicating" his depression and having a higher tendency towards addiction (addict father, ADHD and BPD). Smokes regularly for pretty much the rest of his life. Has One (1) tolerance break before he gets his top surgery. He doesn't exactly take great care of himself

Neil: Only takes edibles (smoking isn't exactly Great for his asthma) and only occasionally. Until he's 18, he only really gets high at camp because he doesn't want either of his parents to know or find out. As an adult, he gets high for parties and concerts with Max (to keep himself from having meltdowns or panic attacks) and for hanging around at home. When he lives with Max, he gets high about once or twice a month to relax

Nikki: SOCIAL SMOKER ONLY. She's down to do whatever with her best friends (this is how Max doesn't even have to talk her into trying shrooms or other drugs with him. She just loves adventures) but never thinks about it herself. She gets even more energetic when she's high, somehow

Preston: Prefers wine (it's fancier and he's Italian) but likes smoking too. Varies throughout his life but he enjoys getting high with friends or if he needs a creative boost

Harrison: For the longest time he was scared of trying any drugs until the others peer pressured him into it. Once he gets over the Catholic guilt, he has fun and likes that it lets him unmask a bit. They have a rule that he's not allowed to do magic while high. He can't control it very well

Nerris: Mostly does edibles, only rarely smokes. Xe doesn't like the smell. Likes going on "adventures" (aka to the store, running around town, going to the park) while high with friends

Misc: Nurf eventually tries a little bit of everything (even more so than Max, who at least avoids the hard stuff) before quitting anything stronger than weed. He focuses more on his career as a prison therapist but still occasionally smokes. Ered rarely got high before it was legalized because Cop Dads made that difficult, and then she only smokes to Look Cool. Space hotboxes its helmet whenever it smokes. Max has definitely stolen said helmet many times to hoxbot himself

The Wood Scouts and the Flower Scouts originally had a bitter rivalry over who got to be the Lake Lilac dealer, until they realized they have different clienteles because the Flower Scouts only sell edibles and the Wood Scouts only sell smokables. They cut a deal so the Flower Scouts can buy bud cheap to bake into cookies or brownies and the Wood Scouts get cheap edibles

[pr1ncesspopstar]

Lime and Coconut - FFXIV Write 2024 - Day 24: Bar

Ao3

[Depicts alcohol use and drunkeness]

-

“Please, enjoy the tastes of Tuliyollal!”

Two wooden platters slid onto the table off the waitress’ arms, lightly sloshing the contents of the various glasses placed upon them. A flight of short glasses, just enough to savor the flavors and depths of each drink, without imparting too much alcohol into the system yet. Some looked deceptively simple, familiar amber liquids akin to that which was served back in Eorzea, contrasted with that which seemed more like harmless fruit juice, and that which was clearly unique to Tural with layers of color reminiscent of the golden sunrise upon the dark sea.

“Thank ya kindly!” Halditar nodded to the waitress, who bid them call her should they need anything else. Something sure to happen, if the past few days of exploring the bars dotted all along the beach was any sort of reference point. “So, which shall we try first?”

“I would say I’m most partial to the drink with crushed ice, ere it melts in the building heat…” Urianger fanned himself with a paper hand fan, sweat already collecting on his exposed arms and shoulders, still white cast from the sunscreen his drinking pal had forced him to apply, else the red already starting to blossom across his complexion would only get worse.

“Aye, cheers then, friend!” she held to him his glass, and the rims linked together, sending small chips of ice cascaded down their fingers before tilting the bottom of the glass up.

The first thing that coated Halditar’s tongue was a creamy, thick coconut liquor. Soft, and the perfect base for the dancing notes that followed. A sharp zap of lime that made the smooth comfort of coconut become a tropical, nearly spicy burn over taken by a funk that was like drinking swill that happened to hit the spot. All washed over and finishing with a natural sweetness only nature could provide, no sugars or syrups added to amplify the flavor. Not an ounce of artificiality to be found as she swished the smooth liquid in her mouth, feeling lime pulp snag between her teeth before gulping.

“Fuck, that’s nice,” she groaned, tilting the glass again to chew on some of the ice. “Calling it a punch is misleading, but they can call it whatever they damn well please if it’s that good. I might need to push to know who they buy their fruit from so I can snag some myself.”

“Agreed, beyond being the perfect representation of the idea of the New World, its quality far surpasses any other coconut drink we’ve had so far. They made it the canvas, not the main event, as it should be.” As usual, the Elezen offered a far more articulate analysis than Halditar was one to give, at least while still sober. His long, limber fingers trailed to the next drink. A pastel orange-pink  mixture with a frothy head and accompanying lime piece. “This one is made of mezcal, and I have not heard much from other patrons other than it being ‘surprising…’”

“Let’s hope it's a good surprise then,” she offered silent cheers to whatever gods that listened that such would be the case before downing it.

If the previous drink gave the illusion of spice through zest, this one showed her what a properly hot drink was like. A sweet note of prickly pear and floral notes pulled her into a false sense of security before her throat and mouth were assaulted by mezcal’s signature burn of smoke and acid, but with the citrus it rounded off the sharp edges into something that still contained a hint of sweet. A chill ran through her in delight, holding onto the liquid as long as she could endure before the overwhelming senses forced her to swallow.

“I feel bad I didn’t go sipping and just demolished the poor sucker, there’s some complexity to that one. And it’s made with cheap mezcal too, which is even better in my mind.” she coughed, getting the smoky taste out of her system and Urianger swirled the drink with a look of distrust. They had found quick mezcal was not his favorite thing, Elezen palette just a touch too delicate to find any joy in the harsher liquors where the whole appeal was the burn. But together they were determined to sample every drink together, so he did.

As expected, his lips did curl a touch in disgust, but he chipped away at the drink with the aid of water sips every so often. After knowing the profile, that such a feminine drink contained such harsh flavors made its status as ‘surprising’ understandable, and looking around why it seemed most popular with those that hailed from Solution Nine. They were more open-minded to things that tasted far different than they looked.

“The fruit flavors were indeed impressive. Perhaps another take with a finer mezcal could be noteworthy.” Halditar couldn’t help but chuckle at Urianger’s verdict. It was clear that was the only compliment he would give it as he quickly moved on to the next glass to wash it all away. It was the one with a multi-color layer. The most exciting looking of the bunch, and perhaps the most exciting flavored. As the roe watched her companion go wide-eyes, and take the drink in a single go. A rarity, as Urianger was determined to savor every order, no matter how nice. This was something special, clearly.

She couldn’t wait to hear his verdict, taking her own cup and drinking carefully, refusing to shotgun this one. Despite how much she wanted to upon feeling the chill of mint dance between her lips and kiss her tongue. It was balanced bliss in a chilled (though now somewhat warmed) glass, layered so each sip was an experience. A little extra sweet to brighten the earthy flavors of tea and truly enhance the taste of vanilla and spices. And rum, oh sweet, wonderful rum. For how much she enjoyed mezcal, rum was a mistress of Halditar so missed from Eorzea. It was here, but it was not nearly as popular, and that which lacked the aged, historic barrel flavor from those across the salt. But this one, who needed no aging due to being over proofed and tasting wonderful as it danced with lemon because of it? Tural instantly felt like home now.

“Sweet Nymia, has definitely been one of the best ones yet. Might even be my favorite…” Halditar, licked her lips, savoring the lingering kiss of flavor she sampled.

“It is in my top three so far, for certain.” Urianger nodded.

“Shall we order a full size? Just to make sure?”

“It doesn’t hurt to be thorough in research.”

Come nightfall, watching stars slowly fade into the growing black expanse above, both were laughing and chattering with piled up glasses and bottles in hand. They had been cut off some time ago, but kept the gil flowing with light meals so there was no chance to lose their spot at the open-air bars edge. Their faces were flush and voices surprisingly so for two drunks, but perhaps that was only natural when two softer souls were inebriated, gates removed.

-

“... And I could not help but think, ‘If ye doth have the foresight to predict an enemies movements day, even weeks in advance, how could ye not think the first reaction of another chocobo to seeing her egg is missing would be to gather her fellow mesters and hunt the dead meat which took?’” Urianger’s laugh was slow and light, more a giggle as he wiped tears from his eyes recounting the story and hearing Halditar laugh in turn. Gods, what wonderful dirt to tease Thancred with. Not herself of course, stories to impart on to Ryne, which still gave the Roe similar such joy. “Truly, he looked no different from the muddy patch once they finished trampling and pecking him. I believe they stole his shoes and coat for good measure.”

“Poor Thancred, I envy his tailor though. I have never met a man with such bad luck in the way of losing clothes in my life!” She tried to sip from her bottle, but found it empty. With a shrug, she set it amongst the rest, their table filled to the brim. Around them the tables and crowds were starting to thin, her vision slow to follow how quick her head turned. She curled her toes and shifted her limbs. A bit heavy, but she would just need to avoid steps and she would walk fine.

“We ought to head out, rest up for our next outing in a few days. That fancy place near the palace.”

“Of course, my friend, of… course…” Urianger made to get up, sitting tall and shifting his weight. But nothing followed. Again, Halditar could hear the legs against the wooden floor, but the Elezen did not move from his spot. His brow furrowed, Halditar could only compare the expression to a dog thinking after he caught his own tail, unsure what to do. Before an embarrassed grin dressed his features. “I seem to be unable to move my legs!”

“Ha! I warned you to drink more water with your cups, lad!” Halditar laughed. Oh, what a familiar sight, the fate of many young sailors that dove into grog a bit too eagerly and ended up needing to be dragged back to the ships. She was sure if she did the same with a man as tall as Urianger it would have been a sight, but she was kinder than that. She rose to her own feet and made her way to his side, taking his lanky arm and throwing it over her shoulder. “Good thing you have a mount jost as reliable as any chocobo tonight, friend. I’ll even sweeten the deal by promising not to steal your shoes!”

“How very kind you, my noble steed.” Both were laughing as they made their way out of the bar, the staff thanking them deeply for their orders and generous tips, and service to Tural these past weeks. The night time air chilled their flushed skin and provided a perfect path of moonlight to follow back to their cabins upon the pier. Their words were lost in the wind, as the heat and touch between their bodies felt familiar. A bond she never thought she would have with another.

“I'm happy I get to be here with you and everyone. And I’m happy you’re here, Urianger, everyone is.” Halditar stumbled as the words slipped out, unable to stop them as they came to mind. It was tender, and perhaps sappy, but it needed to be said.

“And I am grateful for every moment we’ve gotten to learn about each other, kind knight,” he spoke the last words in her mother tongue, emphasizing just how seriously he meant those words. The form was proper, clearly from learning the language as an archon over speaking it as it was meant, but it was special nonetheless. Just another layer to the warm bond they shared to no alcohol could dull or twist their sense of.

[eggyboyoart]

LMK MK Headcanons

TRANSGENDER

He likes cherries in the same way people like purple

Cherry flavoured lipbalm, cherry flavoured juice/tea, cherry print boxers-

I acc just think hes an avid fruit eater AHEM RED SON AHH-

Def has a fruit bowl in his apartment

Hes also obsessed with anything that smells vanilla

Hes so

Just

Everything

He struggles with saving/spending money

especially since his friends are Mei and Red Son-

He takes after Wukong bc hes a HOARDER

He has so many useless trinkets stashed away EVERYWHERE

Like, you sit down on his couch and now you have a mini bedazzled Eiffel Tower up your ass (I have one of those, its hot pink with rhinestones)

He may be a monkey but HE HAS CROW BRAIN

He sees shiny, he must have shiny

ALSO, if friends see shiny, he must get it for them

CHRONIC PEOPLE PLEASER AND OVERSHARE-ER

He also has a massive glasses collection, but like; fashion glasses

Like, heart shaped ones, cherry shaped ones, those sick fire shaped ones

Speaking of the fire shaped glasses, they match with Red Son and Mei’s pairs

MK’s is green, Red Son’s is yellow and Mei’s is pink

MK’s scent is vanilla, parchment and spices

MK has at least had a little puppy crush on Red Son at some point

Probably early on in their ‘enemies-to-friends’ era

Like, when MK first saw Red Son, he was def like ‘…oh’

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN??

But fr tho, MK gets crushes SO EASY

Like, he could sneeze and someone could just be like ‘oh, bless you’ and MK responds ‘marry me PLEASE’

Bro really do be falling for basic human decency

Unfortunately for MK, a lot of his previous relationships have NOT been great

I hc hes had at least 2 previous partners and at least ONE of those bitches was a piece of shit

Mei quickly shut it down tho

We stan Mei - the founder of the MK protection squad

MK also has a really hard time accepting gifts or help (as evidenced in the show im pretty sure)

Pigsy will cook dinner sometimes and brings it over to MK’s place and it’s a battle to get MK to take it

Also Pigsy is def #1 dad

Like, cooks MK food, makes sure MK cleans his house - we stan

MK can’t cook to save his life and he is painfully aware of it

If you held a gun to MK’s head and said ‘make toast’, MK should just shoot himself

When he first started working at Pigsy’s, he started off as a kitchen hand

That was until there were numerous reviews of food poisoning :D

But, Pigsy noticed MK was pretty fast and moved around pretty quickly so thus MK THE DELIVERY BOY WAS BORN

The delivery truck is MK’s actual car and is also MK’s baby

He LOVES that thing like it was his own child

He gets genuinely sad whenever it breaks down or starts having problems and acts like its dying

Buuuuuut hes also too cheap to get it fixed so he says ‘its fine’ while it is actively sparking and smoking

[melodystone57]

Chapter 1: Beware My Power, Green Lanterns Light part 1

"Y/n L/n of Earth, sector 2814, report to Oa immediately"

of course. Why am I always called when I am quite literally in the middle of something?

" Mr. Saltzman, may I use the restroom?", I asked, raising my hand in the air.

" Why did you not go before the test? or before you came into class Mrs. l/n?" He questioned as he leaned against his desk, arms crossed and glaring at me.

"I don't know, why do you have a dad bod? Oh yeah, life happens. Now may I go to the bathroom, or shall I pee myself?" I replied while cocking a brow.

" Go before I change my mind. "

Rushing to my feet, I hurried out the door and towards the bathroom. Charging into the room, my nostrils were attacked by cheap Victoria's Secret perfume with a hint of old-period blood.

" Holy Hell! How many girls have been in here!? It is Rank in here! " I exclaimed, changing into my Green Lantern suit. Slowly the suit materializes across my body starting with my feet and moving up to my head.

"Oh, my good lord. We so desperately need to get a Febreeze." I rant while opening the window and starting to squeeze my top half and my hips through. " Jesus how thick am I?." Once the rest of my body is out of the window, I start flying to oa.

" Green Lantern Salak, not that I don't enjoy your company but why have I been summoned," I ask him on our call through the rings.

"You are needed as a material witness in the Green Lantern Hal Jordan hearing," Salaak said. Great. What has he done now? I swear to Loki himself that if he did something stupid again, he is getting a swift kick where the sun doesn't shine." Might I suggest though, that you use hyperspeed? Hal Jordan will be here any minute and the guardians would like To hurry everything along."

"Thank you for the heads up, Salaak. I will be there shortly" I replied ending our call to engage hyperspeed.

ah oa. you beautiful beast. I started to feel the gravitation pull as well as the change in the temperature. it is strange how oa is colder than space is. You would think it was the other way around. As I fly down, I get to witness the spectacular display of the other green lanterns in what seemed to be their natural habitat. So many of them flying or simply walking around engaging in friendly banter and conversations. It's a wonderful sight to see all types of different species mingling together in peace. if only Earth was able to be so open-minded with its people. I spot Kilowog standing in front of the entrance to the grand hall on my descent down to him.

"Well look who it is. Sargent Kilowog." I said jokingly

"If it isn't the royal hard ass of the green lantern corps. What are you doing here?" He asked while pulling me into a hug,

" I'm here as a witness to something Hal must have done," I replied while pulling away from the hug and walking toward Salaak and Hal.

"Of course you are, always cleaning up Jordans's mess."

"He's not that bad Kilowog. Good Afternoon Salak. Is everyone ready to get this over with I know I am." I said and asked while walking into the meeting hall.

"Ah good you all are here. Let us move forward with this shall we." Apa said very grimly. The others had come into the room and stood next to me.

" Hal Jordan of Earth, Green Lantern of Sector 2814. The viceroy of Demrakk 7 claims that when we assigned you to police crucial peace negotiations you punched him in the face. is this true?" he asked.

"uh, er, no, sir. I punched the viceroy in the stomach. Then I head-butted him in the face...Sir," Jordan replied " The viceroy was a serious dirtbag, who was using diplomatic immunity to cover up his slave trafficking ring" he continued.

"The council Should note that Hal Jordan's claims have since been proven true by Demrakk's authorities." Ganthat intervened.

"That is not the point." said Apa, "This lantern clearly seems to revel in exceeding his authority, ignoring our orders' and making his own.." Apa was interrupted when the ceiling bay door opened and a Green Lantern Ring Dropped down from it and onto the floor.

" Oh,no" Kilowog said.

Hal hovered over slowly and picked up the ring to examine it while saying " We can argue about my conduct later, but right now.....somewhere out there, there's a dead Green Lantern."

"Salaak, whose ring is this?" Kilowog asked as he placed the ring in the middle of Salaak's mobile command center.

" Green Lantern M'Ten," he said while pulling up a picture of him.

"Never seen this guy before in my life," Kilowog replied

"Salaak, Display gaurdian Space." ganthat ordered.

A holographic globe with squares all around it is in the middle of it and displayed high enough so everyone can see.

"There are 3600 sectors of guardian space " Ganthat continued " For millennia, we have dispatched our power rings' to choose a worthy protector of each sector. You are Green Lantern Corps'."

"This part we know" Jordan whispered quietly earning him an elbow to the gut from me.

" Display the homeworld of Frontier Lantern M'Ten," said Ganthat

"Frontier Lantern" Kilowog wondered.

"This is the guardian Frontier, the very edge of our territory," Sayd explained as the globe enlarged into different sections of Frontier space.

"We have seated Lanterns there, but they are few and far between. The vast distance makes contact with the frontier lanterns sporadic, at best."

"Then who trains them?" Kilowog questioned

"They receive limited instruction from their rings. That is all." Says intervened

"What do these lights signify?" Hal Asked.

"These are locations where operatives went offline. Those Power Rings are currently in search of new hosts. Or en route back to Oa." Apa answered. "Meaning they're Dead" I muttered under my breath. Of course, they don't care about what happens to them.

"That is unfortunate, but accurate," Apa replied, hearing me mutter under my breath. I take that back, it's just Apa that doesn't care.

"And you just sit there, doing nothing?" Hal remarked, "You did not even see it fit to inform us about these Lantern deaths?" Salaak Continued sharing Hal's thought process on the whole ordeal.

" There is nothing to be done right now. Flying at top speed you wouldn't reach the frontier for 18 months. We are formulating a plan." said calmly

"There are Lanterns dying out there! We need to get out there and stop whoever is targeting them now!" Hal barked.

"Let me remind the Green Lantern of Earth that the Guardians are not on trial here. He is." Apa Yelled.

"Appa Ali Apsa, it has been an eventful session. Perhaps a period of refreshment is required. Or as our earthman would say; A coffee break." Ganthet Intervened. Thank God. I was about to lose my mind.

"Good call Ganthet. Another minute and I might've said something..." Hal Started to say before Kilowog cut him off "Incredibly stupid? Yeah, I think that ship sailed a long time ago Jordan. Hey, this ain't the way to the commissary."

"Indeed. I thought we might enjoy taking a more scenic route." Ganthet agreed

"Aren't you just full of surprises today?' oops wrong choice of words. My bad. "I am sorry about the brutal word battle that happened in their Ganthet. None of it was directed towards you." I said

"That is quite alright. I understand all of you, and your need to protect those who can't protect themselves. That is why you make an excellent green lantern. That is why the ring choose you."

He replied as we flew over the science center. The docking bay opened up to a beautiful white Matted ship with green accents as well as a green power core.

"Ganthet what is that?" Hal Asked

"Oh, that! Nothing really. An experimental prototype powered by the green lantern energy itself."

" Holy crud," Kilowog said amazed.

"How Fast?" Hal asked, looking at Ganthet with his arms crossed.

"Well, the interceptor is potentially the fastest ship ever created by sentient life."

"Potentially?," I asked

"This prototype is so sophisticated and travels so fast that the nav-computer is an actual artificial intelligence."

"I know that Look Jordan, this isn't one of your earthen jet thingies," Kilowog said trying to shut down whatever idiotic plan Hal is trying or already has come up with.

"Look, I'll take her up and work the bugs out. Then we'll fly to the frontier and we'll take care of the Lantern killer." He explained.

" I doubt that will come to pass. It is much too risky. And all Guardians must be in agreement. Some will doubt the very existence of this Lantern killer." Ganthet explained as the doom doors closed. Once they were shielded shut he started flying back to the Grand Hall.

" Then why show us this?" I asked. Curious as to what is going on in his head.

"I told you, my friends. We're simply taking the scenic route."

" I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I muttered under my breath, as Hal and I walked through the science center halls toward the docking bay.

" Simple, You love me and would do anything for me."

"I'm more likely to skin you alive than to ever like you. Let alone love you."

"You say that now, but just wait. Someone is going to melt that icy heart of yours. And then you will realize that you truly love me." He replied as we hid against the wall. Peaking around the corner, we noticed a Identification Robot, scanning the walkway to the doors.

" Great. Now what?" I asked

"Don't worry, I've got a plan."

This so-called plan was him creating a construct of ganthat, to "float" over to the machine.

"Identification please"

"Ganthet of the guardians," Hal said very deeply.

" Dude he does not sound like that" I whispered harshly in his ear.

"Incorrect. Alarm detected." We both look at each other with wide eyes. Moving from the wall I start shooting at it before it can raise any more attention as to what we are doing. "Contacting secur..."

After the robot fell down we rushed to the motion sensor doors. Bruh, what is the point of an identification bot if the doors are automatic? That's just stupid. Once were inside we slowed down, and walked to the ship. we canvased the area to make sure no one saw us come in.

"I think we're good to go, Hal," I said looking over my shoulder to do a double-check, not paying attention to what was in front of me. Bumping into a wall full of muscle I look in front of me and see Kilowog standing there, Arms crossed and eyes narrowed at Jordan.

"Kinda figured you'd turn up here, hotshots. Just your style. You borrow the ship. Rush into danger. Catch the killer. Save the day. Big heroes." He stated boringly.

"You forgot "get the girl". There's probably a girl somewhere in this, " Hal said "Don't try to stop us, big guy." he continued

"Who's trying to stop you? I'm coming with you! Forget anything?" he asked as he held up three portable batteries. Definitely a good thing that he brought those. My Ring is nearing 30%.

"Okay, you can tag along," I said teasingly walking onto the ship's ramp.

" Oh please, I've been saving your butt ever since boot camp No reason to stop now.Wow."

"Look at that." Hals to say the least was amazed. Walking into the ship it was like looking at any movies based in deep space and the future. The med bay was in close proximity to the Science Cell and the Engine.

"This thing's engine's gigant power battery," Kilowog exclaimed.

"Hey now we have a backup battery for our backup batteries," I said over my shoulder, looking towards the middle of the room there was a small standing area that looked to be some sort of training simulator. Walking further into the ship we head to the cock pit. Hal being ahead of us sits at the main center console housing the winch and runs his hand smoothly across the console.

"Wow. She's beautiful." He stated

"She?" Kilowog and I questioned, raising my and his non-existent eyebrows.

"She. A ship is always she. Wonder how you fly this baby?"

A Small blue orb with a circle in the middle appeared from the console and asked "Please define the term: Beautiful." with a Female voice.

"That must be the AI nav computer," Kilowog muttered to both of us.

"Hello, Aya. We're your new best friends: Hal, Kilowog, and Rory." He Introduced.

"Uh, Hal AI doesn't spell Aya it spells Ayeee." I corrected

" But Aya is a pretty name. A pretty name for a pretty girl."

"Don't you ever stop?" Kilowog Asked.

"New designation accepted. Aya."

"Aya, would you like to play a game?" I asked

"What game?"

"This Game is called Joyride."

"How does one play Joyride?"

After explaining the rules of "Joyride", we start flying over Oa. Waiting for the engine to properly prep for travel, we fly over the open grand hall dome. Catching all of the Gaurdian's attention.

They Start following us.

"Somebody's coming." Kilowog Warned. They caught up to the ship and started tapping on the window. Looking over at them Apa Started tapping harder and pointing to the ground.

" Aya initiate ultra-warp, now!" Hal yelled

"Ultra-warp protocol requires at least 43 minutes to calculate."

"Aya, listen to me. Kilowog, Rory, and I are Green Lanterns. We help people. Right now there's some other Green Lanterns in trouble at the coordinates I gave you."

"It is unsafe to bypass protocols."

"Green Lanterns risk their lives to save the lives of others. Aya, please." Giving in, she disappeared and started up the coils and input the coordinates and calculations for Fronteir's space. Flying faster and forward we started surging into a rainbow sort of opening. We were going so fast it felt like the zero gravity machine at a carnival or fair. Sirens blared and red lights started flashing on the console in front of me.

"Warning! Bypassing protocols have resulted in an unstable ultra-warp field. Disintegration is imminent. Hull integrity at seven point seven five percent." Aya warned.

"Aya, can you convert to manual controls?" Hal asked

"Affirmative. However manual control of a vehicle while in ultra-warp..."

"Do It!"

The winch reappears from the center console, Hal Grabs it a makes a hard right. The right side of the ship started scraping the sides of the ultra warp.

"How is this better?!" Kiliwog asked, yelling at Hal.

"If I can slow us down I might be able to punch through the ultra-warp conduit without breaking the ship apart." He answered.

A few more seconds of us scraping the wall we break through with a blinding green light. We start spinning out of control before stopping at an abrupt stop. We all smack into a console and fall to our butts.

"Oh god, please never do that again?" I asked

Kilowog agreed while getting up and looking out of the window "Wow, frontier space."

"We made it," I said, while staring out the window amazed. This part of space was beautiful. Mixes of blue and reds that never mix, with brilliant white stars lighting the sky.

"I wonder what the odds are for me making my dinner with Carol?" Hal wondered as he fell into his seat.

" A billion lightyears from home, and that's what you're thinkin'? You must've really lost it for this girl." Kilowog teased

"Uh, no!"

"Attention! I am picking up telemetry from a nearby Power Ring." Aya said over the intercom.

Kilowog walked over the the side console and pressed on the intermission signal.

"It's a GL! And Hal, whoever he is, he's alive."

"But not for long. He is in a firefight. And losing." Aya Informed.

"Buckle up, people. This is now officially a rescue mission." Hal Informed.

We arrive on a planet that has many canyons but not many villages. We noticed immediately multiple red lights firing and a dim green light. We head over and see two men, one Lengthy and muscular in his upper torso, and the other one appears to look like a beach ball with arms and legs. Both of them were in a red and black uniform. The two mystery men seemed to be chasing after a GL. We Land the ship and fly over to the Green Lanter to provide assistance. The GL was hit in the back, landing roughly on his stomach and sliding. Trying to crawl away from his attackers, he managed to get a few inches away before getting hit again. Giving into the pain, he stopped and layed on his back looking up at the two men in fear.

"Not bad. In fact, I'll graciously allow you to make up for your earlier squeamishness. You can strike the final blow, Razer. Unless of course, you are too weak!" The beachball said speaking to the other male in red. Razer started to power up his ring and fired. Kilowog and I flew faster and jumped between the wounded Green Lantern and the blast, to create a brick wall. The beach ball roared in anger at us stopping their kill.

"Weaklings! Your feeble constructs are crushed beneath the Red Lantern might!" He said

"Red Lantern? What the Norx is a Red Lantern?!" Kilowog asked while staring at them in pure confusion. We kept the wall up as the "Red Lanterns" kept firing at us.

"These guys I'm guessing. We need to move, fast!" I said over the sound of the ring fire.

"Easy, we're the cavalry here to rescue you," Hal said and he landed next to the hurt GL.

" I'm running low. You have enough juice to fly him back?" He asked Kilowog after checking his ring percentage. Both Hal and I started firing back at the Red Lanterns.

"Big shot GL from Oa, Huh. Maybe I ought to be saving you." The Green Lanter teased at Hal.

"We'll draw their fire while you get the comedian back to the interceptor," I said referring to me and Hal.

"Yeah, I had a feelin' that was comin'. What do you want written on your tombstones?" Kilowog asked.

"Spent the rest of his long life making sure his ring was charged." " She loved herself some good pussy and dick."

"Yeah, no way I'm putting that on there."

" Well fuck."

Distracting the Red Lanterns, we diverted them away from the interceptor. Flying through the air is hard and it's even harder when you are being shot at. Dodging fire I yell over to Hal,

" I got tall and Lengthy, you get Beach ball." I started firing at Razer and leading us away from the other two. Sending a spear towards him, I fly under him to try and get him unexpectedly. But luck is not on my side. He caught the Spear as I started to fly under him and threw it at me. Dodging out of the way he landed a punch to my Jaw and stomach. Kicking him in the stomach I managed to pull away far enough to make a construction to grab and throw him. After he hit the ground, I flew down to arrest him. Thinking he had passed out I tried to grab his wrist only to receive a blast to my stomach that sent me straight into a mountain. starting to see spots I got up to attack but Kilowog beat me to it. Unable to stay awake I fell to the ground and passed out.

I thought waking up hungover was bad, this felt like an elephant was jumping on my brain. Sitting up from a med bed I heard Kilowog's voice.

"Easy, hotshot. Think you're pretty clever charging your ring off the engine like that huh? I say you're lucky not to blow your arm off."

Looking over I saw that he was talking to Hal. Next to him is the GL, he however was still asleep. Getting up, walked over to the other two.

"What going on?" I asked them both.

" Thank god. Your ok, you had me worried for a second." Kilowog said as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm okay Kilowog. I Promise." Hugging him back I started to feel sleepy. But I wanted to stay awake to see what happened. Pulling away I turn to look at the GL.

" Don't worry about hard cases over there. He's gonna be a little sore for the rest of his life." Kilowog said answering my unanswered question.

"Where are our friends, Ball and Chain?" Hal asked as he got up and started walking to the cock pit.

"Your firework display sent them on a little trip. But I got a bad feeling we'll be seeing them again soon. But in the meantime, who knows Maybe we'll be back in time for your date with Carol after all." Kilowog said.

"Dinner will have to wait. We're here now, we fight them. We stop them. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. We stop them."