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105ttt · 3 years

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Hi sorry if this was already asked before but could you explain a little further abt the things devsis has done?? I haven’t heard abt a lot of the stuff you mentioned I don’t mean to sound rude or anything I’m just genuinely wondering

I can tell you mean it genuinely, it’s okay! I’m happy to answer because you want to know. I’ll go through everything I said.

The Valentine’s 2021 fanart video, posted on the official CR YouTube channel, is a compilation of fanart drawn for Valentine’s Day that fanartists submitted. Some of the art submitted was chosen BY DEVSISTERS and put in the video, but not all art made it in. Two pedophilic ships, Red Bean x Snow Sugar and Roguefort x Walnut, were featured in the video. Red Bean x Snow Sugar was featured TWICE. Snow Sugar and Walnut are confirmed to be children while Red Bean and Roguefort are HEAVILY implied to be adults. Devsisters allowed the pedophilic ships to be shown in a fanart video for a holiday primarily about romantic love, therefore putting their seal of approval on these pedophilic ships. Despite fans saying it should be taken down, the video is still up as of today.

Related to the video and Devsisters’ promotion of fanart on official Twitter accounts, they are known to promote fanart that whitewashes the Cookies. This applies to not only Cookies like Cocoa and Mint Choco, who are clearly black, but also Cookies that are tan, like Alchemist. This approval of whitewashing has been going on for literal years, and when an artist was called out for a piece that Devsisters promoted, Devsisters sided with the artist and claimed that they should be respected rather than made to understand why whitewashing is bad.

Both the Dreamy Cookie Land event and the 2021 April Fools GingerBrave Trial contain sections that are known to harm photosensitive people by either giving them seizures or seriously hurting their eyes and causing immense discomfort and pain. While Devsisters altered the maps in Dreamy Cookie Land to make them less likely to hurt these people, the 2021 April Fools Trial has not changed. Devsisters should have made sure these maps were safe BEFORE publishing them to thousands of people (or more).

Devsisters misgenders its own characters on official Twitter accounts and in game notifications. Squid Ink Cookie was referred to as “she” on a Puzzle World Twitter post, despite this Cookie never having pronouns anywhere in the game. Mocha Ray Cookie was referred to with “she” in a game notification despite having no pronouns listed anywhere in the game, including cutscenes. Devil Cookie was referred to with “he” in a Twitter post despite the game canonically using only “they/them” for them. In addition, a statement from the Thai branch of the Devsisters team claimed that you can use any pronouns for a Cookie since they are born sexless (and they conflated sex with gender). This gives transphobes the “right” to misgender canonically nonbinary characters. Lastly, before the Guild update and before OvenBreak, Dark Choco and Cinnamon had no pronouns. After the Guild update, Cookies referred to Dark Choco as “he”, and in OvenBreak, Cinnamon’s Story uses “he” for them. This erases two canonically nonbinary characters, as cis people will see “he” being used for them and assume they are male rather than he/they nonbinary people.

Devsisters is not subtle about their homophobia, as well as their goal of appealing to cishets who hate gay people. They show their homophobia in how straight ships are treated compared to gay ships. Firstly, in the Valentine’s fanart video, there were mostly straight ships. I believe I counted only 4 or so gay ships, and 3 of these were either selfcest or pedophilia. Despite the majority of the art being shown being heterosexual, many people who regularly follow the CR tag on Twitter and Instagram claim that there was a lot more gay ship art submitted compared to the proportion shown in the video. The gay ship art shown was also ambiguous enough that cishets who hate gay people wouldn’t get mad at Devsisters, while some of the heterosexual art was blatantly romantic. Secondly, the treatment of ships like RaspRose and PrincessKnight, popular straight ships, is much better than the treatment of popular gay ships by Devsisters. For example, RaspRose got a merchandise item in a set of cups that also featured a cup with Sea Fairy and Moonlight and Orange and Lime. The RaspRose art on the cup is explicitly romantic. The art on the Sea Fairy and Moonlight and Orange and Lime cups are ambiguous or platonic instead, despite both of these ships being historically far more plausible and popular than RaspRose. Finally, Devsisters has been gaybaiting with Madeleine Cookie and Espresso Cookie in Kingdom, but they refuse to make them canon because that would be gay. Gaybaiting is homophobic in itself for using gay people as a way to advertise something without fulfilling the promise of gay representation. It’s also worth mentioning that they once gaybaited with Milk and Purple Yam on Twitter, but the art shown was not romantic at all, and only the caption hinted at a ship (and the caption was vague enough to be interpreted as the Cookies merely appearing in an art piece together).

Multiple black CR fans have spoken out and said that Purple Yam Cookie is a racist caricature of black men, ESPECIALLY when he is juxtaposed with Milk, a white man. Indian and Middle Eastern CR fans have spoken out and said that Yogurt Cream Cookie and Lilac Cookie are caricatures of Indian and Middle Eastern people. These are not debatable. Google the history of the portrayal of black men in non-black media, and you’ll see what I mean for Purple Yam. The evidence that Yogurt Cream is a caricature comes from the very fact that people compare him to Aladdin, specifically Disney’s version of the tale, thereby showing that their only exposure to Indian and Middle Eastern people is stereotypes in white media. Note also that Dark Choco Cookie is the stereotype of a solemn, lonely, strong black person, and this has leaked into the fandom so much that people draw them unrealistically buff and mostly draw them suffering from angst instead of having any actual character.

There was an IRL sex crime in South Korea perpetrated by a club called the Burning Sun, and a certain Guild named itself after that club and changed their usernames to the names of the people who committed these crimes. They were only forced to change their names by Devsisters AFTER people protested. They were NOT forced to disband the Guild or banned from the game. Keep in mind that these people named themselves after a REAL-LIFE SEX CRIME that harmed REAL WOMEN AND GIRLS, and the only punishment they got was a forced name change. Fuck Devsisters.

Lastly, the trigger joke. Back when Ion Cookie Robot and Cyborg Cookie were new, the official CR Twitter account made a Tweet captioned as “triggered”, and below that caption was a GIF of Ion Cookie Robot becoming angry and shifting to their Red Dread Costume, thereby implying that Ion Cookie Robot was “triggered” and became unreasonably angry. This was posted during the time when ableists were using the term “triggered” as a “meme”, which harms people with PTSD. The Tweet was deleted, and another Tweet was made that apologized for the previous Tweet, but this was only after backlash from fans. However, notice that Purple Yam Cookie is also a trigger joke. He has PTSD from being burned alive in the Oven for so long, and as a result he is easily angered (anger is his stress response). The game treats this as a joke and minimizes his suffering just because other Cookies were in the Oven (before coming to life). His anger is treated as unreasonable and unwarranted, and it’s treated as a joke. Does that sound familiar? Now take into account that his anger is juxtaposed with Milk’s “kind”, “gentle” demeanor. Yikes.

BONUS ROUND:

DevSam, a worker at Devsisters, once said that GingerBrave had a Costume in LINE that was a “sexy cat costume”. GingerBrave is a minor, and the Costume was literally not sexy at all. Why did they refer to him as sexy if he’s a minor??

Images from an official CR account showed a person dressed as GingerBrave giving gifts to a person dressed as Pink Choco Cookie, a Cookie associated with romantic love. This can be easily interpreted as romantic and is therefore pedophilic because GingerBrave is a child and Pink Choco Cookie is an adult. Why post this at all??

Buttershell Fox referred to Maple Panda with a word that was VERY close to a slur against black people in the original text of the Secrets of the Hidden City cutscenes. This was only changed when a popular Twitter user let everyone know about it and asked people to email Devsisters about it.

I can provide links and screenshots for proof if needed, but please DM me or send an ask to ask for these. I’m definitely forgetting other things they’ve done that are bad, but this already should be enough to raise eyebrows.

#no stupid asks please!#they will be deleted!#same for stupid replies!#do not defend corporations they are not your friend!#respect minorities and listen to them!

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xlady-saya · 5 years

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I want this touch to be familiar [Ch. 2]

Relationships: andrew/neil, side aaron/katelyn

Summary: Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It’s not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil’s hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he’s forced to acknowledge how much he’s allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

Tags: first time fic, p*rn with feelings, relationship study, fluff and communication, multichapter

Read on ao3!

Andrew is a planner.

This is one thing he's not afraid to admit about himself; most events in his life have been unplanned, disastrous things which he can only try to wrangle in the moment they make themselves known. However, if he has the time and foresight, he's much more inclined to plot out every move, making sure there are no slip-ups. Minimal error.

Thinking about and minimizing the damage to himself is new, since beforehand he wouldn't bother to care. In this case, his own reactions are things he'll have to deal with in the moment, since his limit here is unknown. He's never done this with anyone.

For now, his sole focus becomes Neil.

Of course, he knows with something like this it's impossible to get it perfect. He's more experienced than Neil, despite the fact he's never been intimate with someone on his own terms; he knows how it works, knows what to expect and all the ways it can go wrong.

He knows it most likely will be uncomfortable the first time, but can he make the good outweigh that?

At the thought, Andrew grumbles to himself, shaking his head over his cup of coffee. It's been a few weeks since that initial conversation, and his head has been a balancing act of sexual tension and precaution. He's planning as if he's made up his mind, though it's the farthest thing from the truth.

But, necessary. He needs to treat this like it's real, or it'll never sink in.

And well, the sexual part of it feels very real. His overactive mind has made sure to spin the fantasy at him almost daily, and he's been powerless against it. The thought of Neil splayed out in front of him is not something he'll ever be adverse to. Lately, Andrew's libido has spiked, doubling from what is normal. If Neil knows the reason, he hasn't chosen to comment on it, and just seems happy to satisfy Andrew in whatever way he can.

A curl of warmth unfurls in his chest, and he slides his gaze over to where Neil sits on the floor, legs kicked up as he runs through his calculus homework. The gym shorts he has on slip a little, revealing odd patterns of discoloration. Andrew can only assume they're burns.

He's real, so painfully real Andrew feels the need to shield him from a threat that's not even there. Neil isn't scared of him, Andrew isn't scared of Neil. For all their hostility, they fit.

They prepare for the worst, gentleness often escapes them, and they've never minded each other's harshness.

Even still...

Silently, he pours Neil a cup of coffee into the god awful fox mug Nicky made him at Color Me Mine, the eyes sagging and crossed, and sets it beside him on the floor.

Neil’s head tilts up just enough to smile sleepily at him, and Andrew's insides twist painfully. Harshly, he pushes Neil's head down, back to his homework, and tries not to let the soft laugh cloud his thoughts anymore.

For all his severity, none of which Andrew is ashamed of, he finds himself itching to give Neil the opposite. And he does, when he thinks about it. Andrew tries his best not to roll his eyes; Neil ends up being right at the most annoying times.

Andrew wouldn't mean to hurt him, it's true. Andrew would never willingly hurt Neil these days, he simply doesn't have the capability. But intention is seldom enough for him. He'll do this right; it's the reason he's set up a plan in the first place.

Yet, plans are hard to keep together. Steps should be easy to follow, checked off.

1. Talk to Bee

2. Talk to Roland

3. Do his own research

Simple, direct; that's what Andrew thought when he put the plan into action. Bee would be able to reveal the things Andrew could not yet see, pick his brain until the maze had a map. Roland would have experience with this, he'd be able to tell Andrew what it's like when it's consensual, the do's and don'ts. From then on, Andrew should've been able to piece the puzzle together and fill in the gaps with cold, hard information. There's only so much he can do to prepare, but he'll cover all his bases.

The plan was supposed to do all that, but hiccups forever plagued Andrew's life. Bee's words were weights, necessary, still sitting with him even now. And Roland, well, that had almost gone well.

At the memory, Andrew glares. The night before, he'd gone to talk with Roland alone, no stress or obligation to keep an eye on his family while he tried to sort this out. He told Neil, wrapped around him in bed, because it's not something he felt ashamed sharing. The reasoning was another story.

And Neil, stupid, understanding Neil, hadn't even questioned it, blindly trusting Andrew to tell him later. It would be agonizing, but Andrew would do it.

Keeping things from Neil nowadays is almost like an allergy, irritating.

It should've been uneventful. At most, he expected Roland to be obnoxious about it, which he was...

"Ohoho, it's about time indeed," the bartender crowed above the loud music of the club, spilled alcohol sticking to Andrew's boot soles. He grit his teeth. Andrew tried his best not to give too much away when he asked Roland to follow him to the backrooms, but Roland's shocked face when he brought it up forced Andrew’s hand.

It wasn't like that, it wouldn't ever be like that again and Roland knew it, was probably worried something had happened with Neil to make Andrew seek out something physical.

So naturally, Andrew told him the gist of his situation, his intentions to go all the way with Neil, and Roland had run away with it in triumph. The bartender's smirk made Andrew want to turn around and walk right out of there immediately. As if sensing Andrew's need to retreat, Roland leaned closer into his personal space, never a fast learner.

Andrew doesn't know what he ever saw in him.

"Shut up and let's go," Andrew growled in the small space between them, and Roland laughed at his expense without care. Andrew had to remind himself Roland was his only direct resource, unless he wanted to ask Nicky, which he would never do.

Whatever, Andrew would not have this conversation in public.

"Alright, alright lover boy," Roland sighed, raising his hands with a wink. Andrew employed Neil's tactic for a moment, counting to ten in German. "I'm just happy for you. C'mon."

Andrew didn't bother to respond to that.

The relief that took root in Andrew's chest was short lived, so short lived he didn't even have to shove it down himself. He pushed off the counter to follow Roland through the throngs of drunk college students, the itch in his head gearing towards the information he was about to be given, when he saw her.

The one and only, Ms. I doodle my last name as Minyard in my notebooks--Katelyn.

Andrew froze; and saw the exact moment she knew she'd been caught. She was midstep, legs locked in an awkward position, but she didn't seem to be aware. It would've been satisfying, seeing Aaron's cheerleader so thrown off if it weren't for the look on her face. Andrew could see the assumptions swimming there before the idiot was probably even aware of them, her eyes, so close in color to Neil's but not the same at all, glancing between him and Roland.

For a brief moment, cruelty sparked in Andrew's veins at being read in such a way; it was foreign, this particular anger. He never cared before what people thought of him, least of all Aaron's perfect girlfriend. Andrew knew people thought he was a monster, it never mattered, because Neil didn't.

Yet, the whole reason he was there at all was to avoid hurting Neil as much as possible, so the suspicion on Katelyn's face made him want to commit murder. He might've, but then the idiot rolled her ankle, preserving the progress he'd made with Aaron over the past year and a half.

He couldn't kill her, he couldn't leave her there either.

Aaron's words echoed in his skull; 'Our feelings are the same.'

So inconvenient, so annoying, but so impossible to avoid.

Andrew remembers glancing back at Roland, knowing they wouldn't be having that talk after all, not right then. He remembers his skin crawling as he hauled Katelyn into his car, her words setting him on edge but reminding him that some people still had the capacity to surprise him.

The word 'love' tossed into the mix of mayhem.

Katelyn had put a lot of unnecessary thoughts in his head, but Andrew came back from that night clear headed, not necessarily about the sex situation, but about how he had been handling it.

Guess she isn't totally useless.

Speaking of...

"Good morning!" Katelyn sing-songs into the living area, and Neil flinches from the abruptness. The old instinct to run is hard to bury, and Andrew watches reality settle in as his muscles go slack again. Andrew misses the peace already, but he's the one who left the door open for Aaron in the first place.

Katelyn waves at Neil sheepishly for having spooked him, hopping along on her better ankle to lean against the small counter. Andrew rolls his eyes internally from how Aaron hovers, always there in case Katelyn decides to do another swan dive to the floor.

There's a pause then, one which isn't usually there. Katelyn's eyes land on Andrew and stay there, which in itself is odd. Up until this point, their understanding has been clear. Normally, Katelyn would ignore him, keep her distance. She still does, staying out of his immediate bubble. Yet, this time she offers him a genuine smile, and Andrew hopes last night hasn't given her any ideas about how things are going to be from now on. "Hi Andrew."

Ah, but looks like it has. Great.

Despite the twitch this realization causes, Andrew only hesitates momentarily before he offers her a nod, and ignores the way his brother blanches. Katelyn, thankfully, doesn't treat it as more than what it is, and carries on with whatever breakfast concoction she has in mind. A cook, she is not, and Andrew has no intention of eating it.

He feels Neil's smug smile in the corner of his eye, and dutifully ignores it in favor of watching his brother move seamlessly around his girlfriend. They touch purposefully, and often, like a dance with added steps just for the sake of staying close.

Aaron's arm slides against Katelyn's lower back, and she bites her lip, a blush rising to the tops of her ears. It's not subtle, but it's also not something anyone would bat an eye at.

Why Andrew can see the difference, he isn't sure, but it's there. There's a clinginess between them, more than usual, a product of Aaron's protectiveness and something else.

Looks like after Matt and Dan had fallen asleep, someone else in that dorm had decided to get handsy.

Andrew stuffs down his disgust at the thought; he seldom agrees with Nicky, but thinking of Aaron having any kind of sex is abhorrent, worse when it's straight.

His brother makes it seem so simple though, doesn't he?

He and his twin spent so many years being on the opposite ends of everything that their recent developments make Andrew even more painfully aware of how they're different. They're learning to share things in common without so much teeth pulling, but Andrew knows this is one area Aaron could not understand.

Andrew isn't jealous or resentful, he's just not like Aaron in that way. He's sure his brother and Katelyn had sex soon after meeting, long before it turned into something he'd risk Andrew's wrath over. He's also sure it's not something that keeps Aaron up at night, or wracks him with guilt afterwards. Watching them interact now, post intimacy, makes that clear enough. Aaron wants her and he's happy to want her, there's nothing else to it. Aaron's own insecurities are a monster, that much he knows, but they're not always in line with Andrew's.

Aaron is not afraid to want, and he trusts himself not to hurt.

This observation, coupled with his conversation with Katelyn, leaves Andrew with little room to avoid the real reason for his plan.

Realistically, Andrew knows he's been setting up roadblocks intentionally. Talk to Bee, setback, another setback, step two, back to step one, and so forth. With this process, there's essentially no way for this to not be dragged out to hell and back.

Annoyingly, he hears Renee's voice in his head, "be patient with yourself," but that's not it at all. The steps are more than just precautionary measures or even speedbumps. No, he can't try to convince himself that he put them there to pace himself, to make sure it's what he really wants.

To want, to want, to want.

That's the thing. He knows what he wants, but part of him thought that with enough time, enough pause, he wouldn't anymore. Then, he could fall back on an old habit, push it away and pretend he doesn't care about the fallout.

He'd been giving his brain ample time to ruin this for him too. To remember that wanting is dangerous, disappointing, not worth the consideration or effort. That maybe, impossibly, if he gave himself room to fortify a new wall, he'd no longer crave Neil's everything. Then, hurting him wouldn't have to be a worry at all, because he simply wouldn't care.

But alas, he's caught himself at the end of his rope, and he should know better. He's known better since Baltimore. Because even now, his head buzzing with conflict, one fact stands out as sturdy as before.

He wants Neil. In every way, every part, all the ugly, spiked edges and harsh temper. Nothing has ever sounded better and he hates it. He hates to feel like this, but he won't try to stop.

Why?

"Andrew, what you feel is normal," Bee's saccharine voice trickles through his head, words from the last two sessions when she helped him piece through all this. Or, maybe he should say she gave him the reins. Bee knows him by now, knows Andrew prefers to do most of the work once pointed in the right direction, even if it's something he hates to admit.

What I feel is normal? Yes, yes, I know Bee.

Pleasure, joy, contentment. The lack of exposure to them all for so long means he doesn't know how to process them, according to Bee. In fact, the feelings become almost intolerable.

"As such, your instinct is to lash out at or banish these feelings. They're uncomfortable, maybe even upsetting for you."

He thinks of so many repeats of 'I hate you' and 'this is nothing.' Thing is, those weren't lies. He needed Neil to be nothing, even when he knew it was impossible. He'd crossed the line into dangerous territory again, and Neil had happily jogged over next to him.

Neil's the only one who's ever followed without question.

He means it though; he hates to want. He wonders if it's because it all feels too good to be true, that if he doesn't tell himself he hates it, he'll have to finally acknowledge how good it feels.

How Neil makes him feel.

He can't accept that, not yet. But he will take a different step forward.

Katelyn prattles on about her schedule for the week, and Andrew can't hold her ramblings against her in this case. Labs and practice will keep her and Aaron apart for most of the week; Andrew used to crave the alone time, now...

With the sounds of pots and pans joining the chorus of Katelyn's chatter, Andrew walks over to Neil with intent clear. Funny, how he expected this revelation to be a lot less anticlimactic. But here they are, on a Sunday morning, the smell of burnt toast wafting through the air.

Neil looks up when Andrew sits beside him, catching whatever must be on Andrew's face and tilting his head. He's not sure how Neil does it, doesn't think to ask. Neil won't stop anyways if Andrew tells him too.

Because...

"What you value is understanding."

Yes, this is something Andrew will not be rid of anytime soon, Neil Josten will not go away. The little thrill which runs through him at the thought is not something he'd ever think he'd feel this much again. It intensifies as the days go, and everyday he loses more of the energy to stop it.

He can feel Bee smiling that damn smile, all the way from here.

Andrew digs his thumb into Neil's already open palm, waiting for his sleepy grin, and gets rid of all the roadblocks.

I want this, he repeats, and holds Neil's gaze. I want you.

He fights back the automatic recoil, and notes how it's gotten easier to do so, to overshadow his need to pull away with his need to pull closer.

"Yes," he says, and for a moment Neil is so still Andrew wonders if Katelyn's laughter ate up the small word. From how Neil's eyes soften a second later, he knows they weren't. "I don't know when, but it's a yes."

Because they've always gotten through things in the past, together.

Neil's breath hitches, and his hand curls tight around Andrew's, the touch conveying more than words can. The world is still such a dark, unforgiving place, but on this Sunday morning their dorm room has a brightness to it. Andrew shrinks away from it, but is powerless to avoid it.

Andrew thinks it might solely come from Neil, but he's wrong.

"Breakfast," Aaron calls to the room with a sigh, all too carefree and happy with Katelyn next to him. Andrew briefly wonders if Aaron ever thought he'd get to that point, and it's something they share. Disbelief.

"Okay," Neil calls back, and it has a dreamy quality to it Andrew wants so badly to stamp out like a cigarette. He doesn't though, he can't. The word carries the smile on the striker's lips, and Neil buries his face in Andrew's sleeve, content to let their food get a little cold.

Without Andrew noticing, his fingers curl just as tight around Neil's too.

One thing Andrew cannot fathom about Neil sometimes is that there's no sense of pressure.

Andrew made up his mind about going all the way that very morning, over a week ago with Neil resting his head in his lap and eventually wriggling a little too purposefully to be cute anymore. Andrew nearly snapped at Aaron and Katelyn to get lost, but then Neil would've won.

Considering how cheeky Neil looked later on, Andrew's cock in his mouth, maybe he did.

And in the afterglow, there had been...peace.

Andrew's not sure what he expected; maybe Neil's impatience, a new layer of tension in their kisses, their touches, something saying go, go, go. The rush to dive in and get things over with before the thoughts tore him in two.

But there's not. There's nothing like that; no urgency in his head or a ticking clock telling him they need to do it before it's too late. Of course, he still thinks about it constantly, how could he not? He's only a man with an (admittedly) hot...boyfriend. A Neil. A very energetic and smart-mouthed Neil.

Closing his eyes, he can picture it, his memory a blessing for once with something from just the other day.

Andrew lets his hands follow the curve of Neil's ass, feeling the smooth skin, patches of it rough from road burn and other scarring. He digs his fingers into the one spot of Neil's lower back, swallowing Neil's gasp. Like a press of a button, Neil's back bends for him.

They're only making out, just kissing, and he's like this. Andrew is okay with just keeping things like this, it feels right.

"Andrew..." Neil moans, featherlight, so unlike his usual brashness. It makes Andrew's pulse spike, and he kisses back greedily, mind swimming. Neil wants him, he makes Neil feel good...

Neil makes him feel good.

"Quiet," Andrew scolds, muffled by the urgent press of Neil's lips. It's begrudgingly amusing, how stupid Neil is. He keeps going back in for another peck, one right after the other, provoking Andrew to just pin him and push his tongue into his mouth.

"Mm," Neil hums teasingly, and Andrew feels the glide of his fingernail along the column of his neck. Andrew can't help it, he gives Neil a grunt for that, the sensitivity overwhelming.

And Neil, so infuriating, smirks.

"You first," his junkie bites back, so predictable. He punctuates the taunt with a nip to Andrew's earlobe. Then it's cloudy, no, hazy, a dream.

Except Neil has proven time and time again he's the furthest thing from a dream; so real, so warm and solid. Andrew lets himself sink into the pleasure, and in these moments he doesn't realize he's falling, that he doesn't mind it.

"Andrew..."

Neil's voice is a fog Andrew has a hard time finding his way out of sometimes, and he leans his head back on the wall by his bed while the heat pools in his gut.

Oh yes, he thinks about this a lot, and he's too fixated on the feelings to put up a fight.

But it's not even just in these moments that he wants Neil, what once was so troubling is now simply reality...

He thinks of the redhead's sleep deprived yawns, long and drawn out enough to show the slope of his jaw. Anxious nibbling on the end of a pencil when he's focused on some stupid equation. Careful hands, patching up Andrew's bloody knuckles after sparring sessions. And not so careful hands, punching the first reporter to say something even remotely negative about Andrew outside the stadium.

Neil is so dangerous, in that Andrew wants all of him.

Yet, there's never an imperativeness to have all of him, to just lock them away for the weekend and see what all the fuss is about. No, he can savor different parts of Neil in innocent ways: the concerned touches, considerate glances, and wide grins...

And in filthy ways.

The slow stretch of his spine when he's doing warm ups, those yoga pants he wears on purpose around campus, the flick of a tongue against Andrew's biceps.

And still, neither of them feel the need to cross the line into new territory yet, not for lack of want, but for lack of good timing.

Point is, since the decision, he and Neil have done plenty of other things without the underlying question of taking it all the way. It leaves Andrew's stomach buzzing for different, non-anxious reasons. The absence of pressure, of force. It's as if now that everything is out in the open, Neil's presence is both a relaxant and a stimulant, and nothing they do together is bogged down by anything other than chasing the pleasure it brings them.

Even with Roland, when they were ready to experiment further, there was no point in waiting. No pacing. Andrew was typically ready to get it out of his system for the sake of his libido, never pushing himself too far but also not patient with himself either. He'd propose the next thing he wanted to try, made sure Roland's hands were out of the way, and acted accordingly. Quickly. Andrew did not savor.

Andrew would take what he needed from the sensations and that was that; his knees on the floor of Eden's, a heavy weight on his tongue. Roland was enthusiastic, reacting well to Andrew's touches as he got more experienced with time.

As for Andrew...

Sometimes he'd like it, sometimes not, and in those cases he'd put a stop to it and he and Roland would revert to whatever was quickest to get off. Efficient, enough for Andrew to feel the spike of control, to bring another man pleasure without putting himself at risk. Exerting power over someone, and having them like it.

It had all been controlled, because Andrew needed it to be. Many of those nights blur together now; he can remember them all, he does, but pulling those times to the forefront of his mind is not something he ever chose to do. It simply didn't affect him in that way, because Roland never got below Andrew's skin.

With Neil however…

Andrew can't help but imprint every gasp and arch into his brain to never be forgotten, to be spun into daydreams so vivid it's hard to keep still. In the mornings the thoughts drip into the front of his mind, Neil pressed close to him. Then when he's watching Neil run in the gym with strong legs, and it's like he feels Neil's legs tightening around him. When he's bored in class, the sounds of Neil's moans drown out the professor as the fantasies in Andrew's head take over.

With Neil it is pure, blinding pleasure. He savors more than he thinks he should, like there's a limited supply and he's going through an army's worth everyday.

Andrew prolongs sex with Neil as much as he can. He's never allowed himself to feel this with anyone. He couldn't. For once it's not just about gaining experience or getting off, it's all that with Neil and exploring all the ways to make him fall apart.

So, Andrew still blows him in the showers after practice and ruts against him in the backseat of the Maserati. And through it all, Neil doesn't wait or expect Andrew to bring up going all the way.

He just enjoys it, enjoys being with Andrew.

"I'm still convinced I dreamed you," he spits out later that night when they're making out on the floor. Making out is putting it innocently, since it's quickly progressing into Andrew grinding his hips into Neil's.

They haven't exactly had enough alone time for this, not for a few weeks, but Andrew tames his desperation for it as best he can. He can't be that vulnerable, and yet his hips are moving on their own accord.

With Kevin visiting Wymack and Nicky off studying, they're alone. They can take their time, and they don't hesitate to take advantage.

Andrew can no longer contain the caged animal.

Neil pauses briefly to look up at Andrew, sliding one of Andrew's hands under his shirt to touch him more. Andrew shivers at the silent request, thumbing at one his nipples while Neil tries to make words.

"D--Do you want me to be a hallucination?" Neil teases, and leans up to bite Andrew's bottom lip. Andrew pinches Neil's chest beneath his fingertips, logging away the breathy moan to recall later.

"No," Andrew snaps quickly, almost against his will, and Neil's grin is so annoyingly brilliant.

They both already knew the answer. He's not sure he could handle that at this point. Neil disappearing, like a ghost with only a compliment as a goodbye.

Not again.

As if to cement this fact, Andrew bucks forward, the friction dizzying. Again, it's been a little too long, and Andrew's movements betray it.

"Fuck Andrew," Neil says, reaching for Andrew's fly. It's already undone, his belt somewhere halfway across the room due to Neil's eager hands. Andrew had told him yes, and yet Neil's hand hovers just over Andrew's groin in a silent question. Andrew growls, leading Neil's hand under the waistband until it brushes the wet head of his cock, and they moan in sync this time.

"Andrew I want...fuck," Neil throws his head back, the frustration clear. Andrew can't help but feel the same; if he could make Neil fall apart in every way he would, but for now his body craves the friction, the desperation of his movements.

This is how he wants to get off, humping Neil into the floor.

"Use your words," Andrew breathes, swiping his thumb over Neil's lips. Neil's pink tongue flicks out, coaxing Andrew's fingers into his mouth and sucking.

Neil's eyes are so full of mischief, his response clear: sure about that?

Andrew gives a slow roll of his hips as Neil pumps him slow, pulling away when he senses Andrew's patience running thin. The striker's legs spread farther apart for him, letting Andrew slot them perfectly together. Neil wants it like this too, he realizes.

A shudder runs through him, overwhelming and definitely something he'd normally lash out against. But this feels too good in the moment to resist, his clothed cock sliding perfectly against Neil's, and the thought comes barreling through as the heat coils tighter and tighter.

It's just like the last time they did this. Andrew starts thrusting faster, the phantom of the real thing while Neil's back slides against the floor. Except this time...

This time what?

He watches Neil meet each thrust just as desperately, a few whimpers escaping and mixing with the few Andrew can't help but let loose. He looks absolutely debauched, with his shorts hanging off one leg and his underwear damp. Andrew takes a snapshot, sealing this Neil away in his head forever. Hungry, insatiable, junkie.

What if this was the real thing? Would Neil arch and writhe even more? Neil always feels too good to be true, even now. He'd be warm, Andrew knows it, his ass hugging Andrew's cock, so bent on making Andrew feel good. He'd probably be more reactive too, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. The fantasy floods in, and Andrew feels his heart rate pick up as his hips buck faster, the pace erratic and wild.

And that's the difference, isn't it? This time, Andrew doesn't feel strange to think about it, to imagine it. He's free to indulge, but should he, does he want to?

His cock twitches, and that's answer enough. The small ounce of hesitation is something Neil catches, because he throws Andrew a shaky smile as a bead of sweat drips down his forehead.

"You can think about it," Neil chokes out, voice raw and oh, it's doing a lot of things to Andrew which shouldn't be allowed. "I am too. Fuck, I want you to fuck me Andrew, so bad..."

Andrew surges forward, slotting their lips together. It's hardly a kiss, his tongue pinning Neil's down in a promise he can't say.

Me too, I want all of you.

The thought is so shocking, it doesn't make him recoil instantly. Something in him bends, snaps in two, and the only pause he gives is one used to manhandle Neil. He pulls him forward, so Neil is curled up at the perfect angle. Andrew does sometimes appreciate all the cheerleading stretches Neil borrows from Katelyn, he's so much more flexible now.

"Neil," Andrew breathes when he pulls back from Neil's lips, just his name. Neil's eyes widen, and Andrew wonders what kind of look he's wearing again. Can Neil see it all, how much Andrew really wants to rail Neil into the nearest surface?

It doesn't matter, his next movements make it obvious.

Andrew's hips piston forward until Neil is shaking apart, his orgasm pulling out a whine Andrew knows the neighbors can hear. He can't be bothered with it now, the unusual greediness he feels when it comes to Neil is second to his own rising pleasure. So close, so close--

Neil reaches up, boneless, and hums almost deliriously. Fixated, Andrew's eyes never leave the ring of blue in his eyes. Neil's fingers tap on Andrew's neck, right at the pulse. "C'mon, come for me."

Andrew does, it's obscene how fast he does. The words aren't even all the way out of Neil's mouth and Andrew doesn't have time to be upset with his orgasm coursing through him. His eyes close on their own accord, the feeling wiping out his sight for a few blissful seconds as he trembles. He's vaguely aware of Neil's hands on his muscles, feeling them clench with the aftershocks.

Andrew's stomach bottoms out, and he feels the rush all the way down his legs.

Never before, never this intense. Not with anyone but Neil.

He slumps forward, his body about as relaxed as it can be in Neil's arms. The urge to run after these moments isn't really there anymore, the need for separation either delayed or gone completely. It's the result of doing this...many times, and Neil's arms still rest loosely around Andrew, ready to let go the moment he needs it.

They lay like that for a few seconds, their pants echoing in the small space and Andrew licks the salt from Neil's neck. The striker has the nerve to give Andrew more space, welcoming all the marks. He doesn't even realize he'll be wearing sweaters for a few days in the blistering heat, if only to avoid Kevin's wrath.

Andrew pops off, satisfied with the fresh bruise, and savors the low whine he gets for it.

Eventually, he has to move, but less for the need to get cleaned up and more due to an odd feeling tugging at his abdomen. Neil's noises...they're troublesome for Andrew's self-control, and Andrew is sure Neil knows it.

The mess in Andrew's boxers is...a lot, and he grimaces as he shifts a little. He doesn't pull away completely, just to let Neil know he's alright, but he looks down at the striker with something swimming in his chest.

Neil's breathing is ragged, chest still heaving, and Andrew's eyes follow the trail of hickies he left on Neil's collarbone. The odd feeling hits him again, a simmering heat.

Unfinished.

Ah, so that's it. He gets it.

Andrew's eyes darken and he hears the moment Neil figures it out too. The redhead's throat clears, mixed with a moan as he sits up with Andrew. His eyes are still wide, pupils blown and covering icy blue in darkness. They're expectant, excited.

So, so much energy.

Andrew knows his smirk doesn't show on his actual face, but he has to fight real hard against it as he stands up. Neil licks his lips, tracking the movement as Andrew pulls the waistband of his boxers forward. He's a mess; his cock is slick with his own cum, globs of it sticking to the fabric. Without betraying his own emotions, he pulls himself out for Neil to see the state of him. In Andrew's head, the mantra repeats: you do this to me, you make me feel this way.

Neil's eyes get that hazy quality to them, the intense focus usually applied to games, and Andrew quirks a brow. Neil's glances keep flitting between Andrew's face and his dripping cock, not sure where to look, but eager nonetheless. His mouth is already open, ready. The fire in Andrew's gut is no longer simmering, it's back in full force. Not yet satisfied, not done.

His cum is about to start dripping on the floor when he finally takes pity on them both.

"Hey," he says, almost innocently, and Neil freezes. "Clean up your mess."

And oh, Neil certainly does.

Appropriately, Andrew is peckish after this, and Kevin had once again gone through the trouble of throwing away all his candy.

Honestly, Andrew could kill him at this point. Their deal is over, but then he'd have no reason to drag Neil out after 10 p.m. to try desserts Andrew knows he'll hate. His reactions make Andrew's chest feel fuzzy, and as uncomfortable as it is, he knows it's not a bad feeling or a particularly overwhelming one. Therefore, it's best to use for exposure therapy.

He's making Neil taste baklava at some 24-hour dessert bar when he says the words, unprompted and lazy, but it doesn't feel less right. For whatever reason, their moments of mundanity seem to coax the most monumental things out of Andrew, probably because they're the most grounded he ever feels.

Neil's hair is still a mess from their activities, that coupled with his scrunched up nose at the sweetness of the pastry is so routine, so familiar, it softens Andrew's edges. Andrew's fingertips are sticky from the syrup, but there's nothing filthy about watching Neil's lips wrap around them when Andrew feeds him the bite. It's so oddly cliche and cheesy, Andrew can't believe he did it without realizing.

Neil sticks out his tongue in disgust as he chews, pushing the rest of the pastry at Andrew in favor of his boring gummy bears (Andrew made him get something), when Andrew tilts his head to look at him. Really look.

He doesn't know what he's searching for, and he doesn't find it. It's a relief; Neil is the same, and it's such a comfort Andrew has to force it down.

His brain, always the betrayer, whispers: This is it.

It's not said in a romantic, or even joyful way. It's simply stating a fact; he won't have this again, and won't pursue it.

Neil's eyes soften when he catches Andrew staring, but doesn't call it out like he normally would. The striker rests his head on his arm, blue eyes shining under the shitty diner lights. They're back to normal, all ice, all color. His hand slides across the tabletop to brush Andrew's, not quite linking, but a constant. An 'I'm here' just because he feels like it.

The ease in Neil's eyes, brought on by all their exertion and from Andrew's presence, is so unlike the desire from earlier. It's apparent, but not jarring. This side of Neil is still one he knows, one he's come to expect without meaning to. There's something so innocent about it, so genuine, the words overflow.

"Neil," he says, even though he already has Neil's undivided attention. He wonders what kind of face he's making to get that kind of reaction, but then assures himself he doesn't want to know. He can't handle that yet. He clears away the tightness in his throat as best he can without acknowledging that it's there, and lets the realization wash over him. "Next time we're alone."

He's ready to try if Neil is. He knows Neil will understand what he's referring to. It's both a proposition and a promise, and Neil reads it easily.

He blinks, sitting up in that way which reminds Andrew of an actual fox. If Neil had the ears they would perk up, alert. His fingers inch forward, between the spaces Andrew has left for him already.

"You're ready?" Neil asks, voice quiet but resounding in the deserted shop. Andrew shivers, but knows the answer. He's known for a few days, but only now does he feel up to admitting it.

"Yes."

There's not much more he needs--or wants--to say. This is his decision; the mess in his mind is still there. The image of hurting Neil, or old memories surging forward in the heat of the moment. The shock of being so connected to someone, so vulnerable. It's all still there, making his skin crawl.

But then Neil looks at him like this, a mix of lust and some other emotion he won't name (won't assign Katelyn's stupid definition to) and it becomes a factor. Despite all the mess, Neil is someone he can trust and someone who trusts Andrew.

They want this, that's enough.

"Neil," he says when Neil has been quiet too long, that stupid look on his face, and watches him blush a brilliant shade of red.

"I--yes, yes of course I--" Neil stammers, and it's instinct for him to ground himself with Andrew's touch. His hand grips Andrew's tight, as if Andrew needs more convincing when Neil's tone is so excited. The striker's gaze turns firm, determined, and heat simmers in Andrew's chest once more. "I want that..."

No kidding.

"Stop being an idiot," Andrew snaps, but he tightens his hold on Neil's hand anyways. He's not sure who he's talking to.

Judging by the smile Neil is trying to force down, he knows it too.

"You have a thing for idiots," he whispers with a smirk, teeth pressing into his bottom lip, and oh yes, Andrew always knew this man was far too dangerous to keep around.

Too late now.

"Apparently," he sighs, feigning resignation. He leans against the back of the booth, and it's mostly so he can see all of Neil clearly. The disheveled clothes, the unruly hair, the sharpness. In reality, he's far from cursing his future in that moment. He's not sure if he can label the static in his abdomen and his head as excitement, but he has a feeling it's exactly that.

Troublesome, and much too powerful to try and push away.

Satisfied, Neil smiles and leans back too. They don't stay separate for long; as soon as Neil's hand is off his, Andrew feels a strong leg press into his calf. He doesn't even flinch these days.

Neil poises to throw a gummy bear, and Andrew opens his mouth willingly to catch it, falling back into their easy routine of wasting time together. Long drives, stupid questions and stupider answers.

Andrew misses three out of the ten gummy bears, not really trying. It makes Neil laugh harder when he misses.

On the fifteenth throw, realization crosses over Neil's face, and he pauses. The smirk turns deadly, razor sharp. Andrew has never seen Neil so vengeful, and the excitement only grows when Neil speaks. "You know what this means?"

Andrew raises a brow, and Neil inhales, giddy with his own spite. "We can finally kick Kevin out."

And he automatically knows what Neil means. He recalls hours spent holed up in the stadium, making out with Neil and wishing they were cocooned in bed while Kevin sexiled them for time with Thea.

The word leaves Andrew's mouth, as deadly as Neil's expression. "Payback."

#andreil #all for the game #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten

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letterboxd · 4 years

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Fantasia 2020.

We emerge from the depths of Fantasia Festival 2020—the largest genre fest in North America—with the ten best things we saw this year.

Fantasia Festival aced this weird shitstorm of a year with one of the best online film festival experiences of 2020 so far. Sure, we miss that unique, zombie-like, end-of-fest haze brought on by midnight madness and inappropriate mealtimes, but quarantine breeds an adjacent kind of mental fog that made Fantasia’s online offering a weirdly natural place to be this year.

Tuning into Montreal from London and Auckland, our Fantasia team (Kambole Campbell, Aaron Yap and Gemma Gracewood) watched as widely as possible, and we recommend most of what we saw—but these are the ten films that stuck out.

Chasing Dream Directed by Johnnie To, written by Wai Ka-Fai, Ryder Chan and Mak Tin-Shu

Hong Kong master of genre Johnnie To once again links up with screenwriter Wai Ka Fai, the writer of Drug War and Romancing in Thin Air. Their new feature Chasing Dream finds itself somewhere between those two, telling the story of an MMA fighter with gang ties named Tiger (Jacky Heung, winner of Fantasia’s Best Actor award) who falls in love with an aspiring singer named Cuckoo (Keru Wang).

To and Wai Ka Fai’s incredibly goofy sense of humor is still totally intact, as they make a complete farce out of the singing competition that Cuckoo enters, with her greatest competitor continually performing so hard that she accumulates injuries, until she ends up in a full-body cast. As Michelle writes: “It’s Rocky meets A Star is Born, with a dash of American Idol, a pinch of musical, and a huge dollop of romance.” This is all to say that Chasing Dream really is a hell of a lot of movie at once. (KC)

Labyrinth of Cinema Directed by Nobuhiko Ōbayashi, written by Kazuya Konaka, Nobu Obayashi and Tadashi Naitō

“It’s time to revisit our history to build a better future.” So begins Labyrinth of Cinema, the final film of Japanese experimental legend Nobuhiko Ōbayashi. Following a trilogy of films contemplating modern Japanese history and war (including the ravishing Hanagatami), Labyrinth is a metatextual and metaphysical trip through the history of Japanese cinema and its intersection with war.

A handful of young characters are quite literally absorbed into the screen of the cinema they’re sitting in at the film’s beginning, jumping through different eras and genres of film, tackling everything from war and propaganda, romance and musical, to chanbara and back again. Jake Cole notes the film’s surprising optimism, writing “even as Ōbayashi grows more sober, the film conveys more and more his strength of belief that cinema is still a force for good, and that if the past cannot be helped, perhaps movies can be rethought and re-crafted to produce a better future”. (KC)

Lapsis Written and directed by Noah Hutton

Noah Hutton (son of Timothy Hutton and Debra Winger) makes his narrative feature debut with a sci-fi-that’s-barely-sci-fi film, which dives into robotics, capitalism and unionization. Not a million miles away from the activist documentaries the director already has under his belt, Lapsis is a low-key, mordant film that captures gig-economy drudgery and the arcane fog of big tech. “Honestly really fucking cool,” writes David, of Hutton’s world-building on a shoestring. “An intelligent and peculiar concept expertly executed and thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end.” Dean Imperial’s surliness is a treat. (AY)

Bleed with Me Written and directed by Amelia Moses

Not one of Bleed with Me’s 79 minutes is wasted. If any of the following sound good to you—micro-thrillers, Robert Altman's Images, Rodney Ascher’s The Nightmare, mumblecore Bergman—add Amelia Moses’ debut feature to your watchlist now. It’s an assured start from Moses, who crafts an unsettling, tantalizingly ambiguous atmosphere from the three-hander, cabin-in-the-snow confines, with Scrabble, gaslighting, bloodletting and sleep paralysis thrown in.

“Lee Marshall anchors the film with a deeply moving performance as Rowan,” writes Finhorror. “With every facial expression, movement, and line reading, she sells vulnerability and discomfort while showing a minimal amount of effort.” Would pair well with Mickey Reece’s Climate of the Hunter (florid dinner conversations, immaculate food-porn and psycho-sexual tension) for an ace double feature. (AY)

PVT CHAT Written and directed by Ben Hozie

New York filmmaker Ben Hozie examines online relationships and modern sexual fantasies with PVT CHAT, starring Uncut Gems breakout star Julia Fox as Scarlet, a cam-girl dominatrix. The film splits its focus between Scarlet and Jack (played by Peter Vack), an internet gambler who mostly remains inside his NYC apartment as he becomes fixated on her. While there’s palpable discomfort in Jack’s increasing obsession with Scarlet, the film doesn’t mock the practitioner nor the customer, and it doesn’t moralize over either of their actions—it simply leaves them plain to witness, as though a normal element of contemporary digital living.

The genuineness of the relationship between Scarlet and Jack is ambiguous—the line between performance and sincere emotion distorted via pixels. As they continue to open up to each other the line blurs further, and PVT CHAT becomes a fascinating observation of how online communication has changed and commodified the ways in which we interact with each other. (KC)

Tezuka’s Barbara Directed by Makoto Tezuka, screenplay by Hisako Kurasawa

Speaking of obsessions, Japanese filmmaker Makoto Tezuka might have chosen his father’s strangest work to adapt into a live-action film. As it says in the title, Tezuka’s Barbara is an adaptation of ‘godfather of manga’ Osamu Tezuka’s Barbara, his most hallucinatory and sexually explicit work. Opening with a Nietzsche quote about madness and love, Tezuka’s Barbara more or less conflates the two, as the main character Yosuke, an author who specializes in lurid and trashy paperbacks, falls obsessively in love with Barbara, a homeless drifter he meets in the street.

Beautifully lensed by Christopher Doyle, legendary cinematographer of Chungking Express and In The Mood For Love, Tezuka’s Barbara takes on a magical and ethereal quality, particularly in its sex scenes. Yosuke’s increasingly deranged obsession with Barbara and the young Tezuka’s depiction of it is compellingly weird, from its vivid colors and almost antiquated costuming to its Eyes Wide Shut-esque rituals of the wealthy. Deranged, perhaps opaque, but a riveting visual journey, especially with its context in mind. (KC)

Special Actors Written and directed by Shinichiro Ueda

Special Actors is the new film from Shinichiro Ueda, who turned heads with his bonkers cult film One Cut of the Dead. It may appear a little less surprising to those already familiar with his tactics, but it’s no less entertaining for it. Special Actors starts one way, as the tale of an aspiring actor looking for work, and ends somewhere else entirely. Brought into a company named ‘Special Actors’ by his estranged younger brother, Kazuko embarks on a different kind of performer’s journey, not just restricted to film and commercials, but also playing implanted mourners at funerals, fake boyfriends—whatever the client desires.

This is an Ueda film, so of course it takes a huge swerve, transforming into a bizarre and entertaining caper as the Special Actors are hired to infiltrate a cult. Ueda is more than aware of the classic conflation of film with “fakery” (as Orson Welles would call it)—the structure of a caper and its layers of illusion, truth and everything in between aligning with the requirements of stagecraft—and he has more than a little fun with it. As a result, so do we. (KC)

Feels Good Man Directed by Arthur Jones / Available on demand now

The internet was a mistake. Even if you try to stay out of the digital trash-fires, you’ll likely have heard of the ‘Pepe the Frog’ meme. Turns out, we need to pay attention to these things, particularly with another US election looming. In Feels Good Man, Arthur Jones introduces us to Matt Furie, the humble cartoonist behind the original Pepe, and then takes several wild and weird side-roads, with the most unexpected-but-entertaining talking heads, as we learn just how 4Chan and the alt-right adopted, weaponized and took the frog all the way to the White House, earning official hate-symbol status. “I came in expecting a solid documentary about a meme, and I ended up getting that and a compelling narrative about today’s troubling world,” writes Zach. (GG)

Sheep Without a Shepherd Directed by Sam Quah, written by Yang Weiwei

Dare we say “Letterboxd meets Parasite”? Sheep Without a Shepherd, Sam Quah’s debut feature (based on Jeethu Joseph’s highly rated film Drishyam), is a cinephiliac feast about have-nots taking on upper-echelon corruption. Lead character Weijie (Xiao Yang) is a working-class, obsessive cinephile who vomits his movie knowledge any chance he can get. When his family is pulled into a case of police corruption, this same cinephilia may be the only thing that gets them out of it. It’s a sturdily wrought Hitchcockian homage, with a well-calibrated balance of suspense, humor and pathos.

“What a gut punch of a movie in the best way,” writes Amanda. “A little messy at times, especially in the end, and some questionable forensics, but this is something I’ll definitely be revisiting.” The jury is still out on whether the ending—make that the many endings—worked, but for the most part Letterboxd members enjoyed the cat-and-mouseness of it all, along with its moral questionability. (AY)

You Cannot Kill David Arquette Directed by David Darg and Price James / Available on demand now

You Cannot Kill David Arquette is a rousing, eye-opening and mostly upbeat gawk at the life of the Hollywood star whose fortunes have lately run dry. Although he is out of shape and has very young children (and very cute Basset hounds) to think of, Arquette is desperate to reignite his love of pro wrestling. In a quest to prove to his heroes that he’s serious about the sport, the actor participates in backyard wrestling matches in Virginia, joins street-fighters in Mexico, and goes down a K-hole at the hands of health professionals.

“Arquette is searching for a shred of legitimacy in a world that’s always made him feel like a fraud, and by the end of this loveable, hilarious, and ineffably heartfelt doc it’s almost impossible not to believe in him,” writes David Ehrlich. As compelling a look at mental health as physical, the film benefits from the inclusion of conversations with those closest to Arquette (both of his wives feature), and there’s a heart-skipping scene involving the late Luke Perry. (GG)

Lastly, our team wanted to shout out to Daria Woszek’s Marygoround for the best end credits dedication of the year. Thanks, Fantasia! Roll on 2021.

#fantasia #fantasia festival #midnight madness #fantasia fest #film festival #genre festival #montreal #letterboxd

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lettersofwrittencollective · 5 years

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The Pull (23/?)

Summary: The Ragnulf’s are one of the oldest lines of werewolves known. A gift from ancient times was given to the line. Though not all of the line will experience it. There are some who will experience a Pull. This Pull leads them to their true mate, a soulmate. The problem is, just because the wolf finds their true mate does not mean that they are the same for that person.

Author: @lettersofwrittencollective

Pairing: Stiles x Hale!Cousin OC (Reader)

Word Count: 3246

Warnings:

A/N: Ya’ll I am super excited to see what you think of this scene! Let me know all your thoughts, did you love it? did you hate it? do you want more of these scenes? Less of them? are they ok with the balance? Because I NEED to know?

<<Prev || Masterlist || Next>>

Stiles waited for Melissa to go through the appointments list. Hopefully, Dr. Gardner is in today and has something so that they can meet.

As he waits, he looks over to see Natasha sitting in one of the waiting area chairs, a magazine in her hand. She must be able to feel his gaze because a moment later she’s looking up and offering him a small smile.

Returning the gesture, he thinks that he really needs to clarify the kiss with her. It had been unexpected, sure but not unwanted. In fact, it might be something that he’d like to do again and again and again… If she’d let him.

“Dr. Gardner’s not back until next week,” Melissa says, pulling his attention back to her. “Do you wanna try waiting for one of the urgent care doctors or….” she trails off.

Stiles is shaking his head and saying no very softly as he steps backward. Melissa calls his name, asking if he’s ok and suddenly she is there with him. He shakes his head, “I… I don’t know. Yeah… I guess. I guess not really.”

He can feel her take his hand and he looks at her and shakes his head, he needs to tell her. He goes to say something but Melissa is pushing on his side, moving him towards some rooms. He begins to walk and can feel Natasha’s hand loosen so he tightens his hold on her, having her follow them.

Melissa takes him to one of the patient rooms, room 315, and while Natasha stands at the doorway, Melissa sits him on the bed she settles him and looks over to the door. He’s sure that she’s going to tell her to go. Patient confidentiality and all that so he asks if she can stay.

Melissa looks at him before nodding and asking about what he’s been experiencing lately.

“Blackouts. But not for that long… And sleepwalking, which I used to do a lot as a kid. Ummm… Also having some really bad anxiety,” he lists off for her.

Melissa turns to him, “Panic attacks?”

“Yeah, a couple,” he nods his head. As Melissa writes, he remembers something else, “Oh, and I temporarily lost the ability to read. But that might have had more to do with this giant magic tree and a whole human sacrifice thing.” He’s frustrated with the situation. If it’s not one thing then it’s another.

When Melissa finds out that he’s only had 8 hours of sleep in the last three days, she looks to Natasha who nods her head in confirmation. He looks down at his hands and begins to count the fingers. He’s not sure if he’s confirming that he’s awake or that it was actually 8 hours of sleep but he confirms the 8 hours of sleep portion.

Melissa walks away from him, rummaging through the cabinet and asks if he’d been irritable. He confirms, “Possibly to the point of homicide.”

“Stiles… that’s not what that was..” Natasha is saying. She sounds annoyed with him but how can she be so sure that he hadn’t hurt anyone? It was his writing. He had had the key

He can see Melissa looking between the two of them before she asks if he’s been able to focus. He shakes his head, the Adderall hadn’t been working and he tells her so.

“Impulsive behavior?”

“More than my usual? Hard to tell.” He’s trying to remain calm, trying to not be frustrated but the next question from Melissa and he’s saying, “Basically all the above. Do you know what this is?”

“I think so,” she says with a nod and a shot in her hand.

He eyes the needle and can feel his heart race picking up before looking at her, “What is that?”

“Do you trust me?”

“When you’re not holding a needle.”

“It’s Midazolam,” Melissa tells him as she gives him a shot of the liquid, “A sedative.” When he asks about why he’s receiving it, she tells him “You, Stiles, are one profoundly sleep-deprived young man. You need rest, and you need it now.”

He can feel her pushing him to lay on the bed and his eyes are heavy.

Annoyed, angry, ready to murder a being older than time itself. All of these sound like very good ideas. His wolves have always been ready for the things that they have to face. But this time, this time those women are not letting one of his pups prepare for what is to come.

And that’s part of the problem, she is still a pup and yet the Nornirs have decided that she will have to deal with a damn fox. A groan escapes his lips as he weaves through the mountain. The path has long since faded from the naked eye but he remembers it well.

Not only has he, himself, traveled it many times but he has protected his warriors when they have taken this particular path.

As he walks the mountain path, he can see a figure that is following him. There’s something about the figure that’s not quite there completely so he pays it no real mind. If it were to attack him, well he is Odin and a great warrior on his own. As he makes his way to the place he is looking for, the winds pick up and the skies open up to rain. It would seem the Nornirs are not too happy that he is coming. He pulls his cloak tighter to him and mutters a spell to repel the water and keep the figure following him dry as he continues his climb.

Finally, after hours of climbing, he reaches the entrance to their home. Climbing in, he is treated to the beautiful receiving room of the Nornirs. Removing his hood, he calls out, “Verðandi! Skuld!”

They know he is here, of that he is sure. But, they make him wait. He’s often wondered if they make him wait to remind him of his own mortality or if it is because they genuinely are working towards the things that are coming into being and moving people into place for the things that will eventually be.

The room is silent and still, as if it is holding its breath before a silver mist flows into the room. It swirls and compacts into the form of a giantess. “Verðandi,” he greets while bowing his head in respect, he waits for the second form to appear.

It’s not long before the second giantess appears and he greets her in the same way, bowing his head in respect.

“What brings the All-Father to journey below the roots of Yggdrasil?” Verðandi begins, a cheshire smile on her lips.

Knowing he must tread carefully, Odin goes to respond but Skuld is laughing. It irks him. But, he is here to request a gift so it would be better to not insult the Nornirs by telling her to shut up. So, biting his tongue, he waits for her to stop laughing to say something but she doesn’t give him the chance. “He’s here to ask us to spare his child the fox.”

“Now, why would we do that?” Verðandi asks, her voice is falsely innocent and sweet.

“She is just a pup!” he reminds them. “This one that you have chosen for her! He’s not yet reached his potential! He has so much more to learn about our world, about his own abilities and skills before he is ready to face this with any real chance of survival! Would you really condemn them both?”

They’re laughing. Full belly laughs that turn into mad cackles and he’s wondering what would happen to Miðgarðr if one, or both, of these beings, were to cease.

It’s as he’s contemplating the ways in which one could kill a Nornir that suddenly, Skuld has wrapped her hand around his neck and is squeezing. He grabs her wrist and she lets his hand go before taking a step back.

“Do you really believe we do not know what we are doing? We have paired many of your children before and you did not question, not even when they were the favorite of the Greeks or the Egyptians,” as she spoke, her presence became heavier within the room. “The one we have chosen for her has their tests in front of them. Did you ever consider the possibility that this will help mold them into what the other needs?” Odin watched as Verðandi came up beside her and the two joined hands.

The silver mist they had formed from returned, this time there were other colors interwoven into the mist. When the Nornirs spoke, it was both Verðandi and Skuld, their voices becoming one, loud and booming, “The child of Odin, Alpha in their own right will face the fox. Should the child fail, death will be imminent.”

Feeling the ice run down his spine, Odin nods his head. Regardless of what he wants, fate has been set and he will have to let it play out. “Can we at least give them a fighting chance?”

They look at him before fading away. As they leave, however, the words We are not beholden to the All-Father are spoken, left to echo in the cave.

Stiles knows he’s dreaming which is frustrating. Thankfully, this dream doesn’t seem like the ones he had before they’d saved Malia - there was something more, observatory, about this. He had been pulled along as a cloaked figure climbed a practically dead mountain. Trying to place the mountain, Stiles realized that he had no idea where he’d seen it in real life. Perhaps it had been in a movie?

The figure had weaved in and out of the trees and bushes, through rain and thunder before reaching a cave entrance. When the figure had entered the cave, Stiles had been pulled in with it only to find himself in a really interesting room. It’s got a really old feeling to it but everything feels powerful. It sort of reminds of him of when Scott’s in Alpha mode but it’s so much - more than that at the same time.

The figure that he had been following up the mountain path removed his hood and Stiles is able to see that it’s a man. He calls out two names, Verðandi and Skuld. Somehow, Stiles knows that these are the Norns. He’d read about them, they’re basically the fates of Norse Mythology though he thought there were supposed to be three of them?

Stiles watches as two very tall, very intimidating women seem to materialize out of almost nothing. They have a conversation with the man who, Stiles is able to piece together, is apparently Odin. He’s pleading with them about someone. There’s something coming and Stiles is sure that it can’t be good if this god is asking the fates to intervene.

Stiles has a realization that this may not actually be a dream but maybe something more. He has a terrible feeling of uneasiness when he sees the woman disappear, their words echoing throughout the room forebodingly, We are not beholden to the All-Father.

Stiles suddenly has the need to escape the place. He has enough supernatural drama to deal with. He doesn’t want to add more to it by There was a chittering noise and Stiles turned around, trying to locate the source only to find himself in a lavish hall.

The sound of clanging metal, grunting, roaring, and crazed laughter fills his ears as he watches both men and women fight against each other with all kinds of weaponry. Suddenly a man with brunette hair grabs him by the arm and swings him around. Cupping Stiles’ face this man begins bellowing loudly at him. It takes Stiles by surprise for just a moment before he returns the bellow without a second thought.

Suddenly, the man is chuckling as he lets him go and claps him on the back. “You are going to be just fine young one,” he says as he moves to sit on one of the chairs and motions for Stiles to do the same.

Hesitantly, Stiles decides to go ahead and take a seat next to the man. “Who are you?”

“Just a humble servant of the gods.”

“The gods? Don’t you mean Odin?”

“Ah so you do know the gods!” the man giggles and claps as if he’s giddy at the prospect itself.

Stiles is confused but doesn’t have a chance to really ask any questions before someone has knocked him off his chair and onto the ground. Suddenly he sees the glint of metal and instinctively puts up his arm to try and block the metal.

There’s a wooden shield on his arm and he actually has to brace towards the weight of an ax being swung at him. Sitting upwards, he shuffles backward and tries to stand up when the ax comes at him again. This time, he’s ready for it though and can at least stand in place.

The man that had swung the ax at him pulls it back and lets out a hearty laugh. Stiles is wondering what insanity is going through this man's head when the guy that had been talking to him earlier claps him on the shoulder.

“Ragnar! Leave the child alone. He’s not dead yet” he scolds and Stiles looks at the guy, Floki.

Floki looks at him and begins to giggle before they’re all sitting around a table. As they’re eating he hears someone calling his name. The fighting around him dies down and Stiles turns to see the man from earlier calling him. Odin.

“You know me?”

“How long have you been here?”

“Where is here? Cause a moment ago, there was some cave room thing and then I’ve got- Floki here terrifying and,” he looks at the other guy, trying to remember the name, “Ragnar here trying to kill me with an ax and now there’s this.”

Some people around him chuckled and he could have sworn that he heard the name Valhalla which he figured would make sense. It would also really suck because from what he knew of the place it would mean that he was dead.

Odin, for some reason, is now sitting next to him and Stiles is not sure how that happened but figures that being a god has something to do with it. Stiles looks at him and nods his head, not sure what else to do but he does want to know, “Am I dead?”

Odin laughs and “No child, I would argue that you are more alive than you’ve ever been. The Space between life and death, that’s where we are most alive… But, you have challenges coming your way young one. Remember that where a fox’s ears are a fox’s teeth are near.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Stiles asks as he can’t seem to really get his mind wrapped around what the god is saying.

“Do you have any idea of what you are?”

“I’m just a human. I’m not anything more,” he says with a shrug of his shoulder.

Odin smacks his shoulder and Stiles can’t help the grunt that escapes his lips. “What is up with everyone smacking my shoulder here?”

“Bah! You’re fine child. But you’re so much more than just a human Stiles. Don’t forget that. People will always underestimate you. Especially the supernatural, they will think that you are not a threat, but I know differently. You have many gifts, what is in here,” He watches Odin point to his head and then his heart.” is a gift. You do not think like the others. That will serve you well. Let them underestimate you. But I know better- you have the heart of a warrior here.”

Stiles looks at Odin and nods his head. The gods apparently telling him that there’s a whole new storm coming their way and Stiles isn’t sure that he wants to deal with it but apparently, he has no choice.

Odin offers him a curved horn and Stiles takes it. Unsurprisingly, there’s a sweet drink inside. As he goes to lift the drink to his lips, he hears “Skol!” which is then repeated by everyone in the room. Stiles is surprised but repeats the sentiment before lifting the drink with them and the rest of the room begins to disperse into their own things.

He finds that he’s sitting with Floki and Ragnar. They’re sitting there with him and they’re sharing stories. Stiles is listening to stories of raiding and travels of the world. As they’re talking about the different stories, Stiles finds himself being pulled further and further into them .

“Ragnar,” the ax man begins, “how is Lagertha?”

Ragnar smiles and looks over towards a woman who is fighting with some other men and women. Stiles watches and sees as his lips quirk upwards, “She’s doing well. The woman is a true skjaldmær through and through.” There’s pride in his voice as he talks about the woman and a soon enough Ragnar is asking Floki about someone named Helga.

Floki is giggling, once again, and claps his hands. “I am sure that Freyja will allow me to see her soon. I have missed her.” Then, the insane man is looking at him, “What of you child? Have you found your woman?”

“Uh… Well what I mean is that there’s kind of… I mean there might be someone but umm.. Yeah.” he nods his head as if that’s enough of an explanation for the men.

Stiles watches as both of the men look at each other and then bust out laughing. He’s worried that they’re drunk and then they turn to him. “Be kind to her. She comes from a long line that has long been blessed by the Gods. She’s a Valkyrie amongst the living so you must remember that she is surrounded by death but she will always make the best choices.”

“Do you know who she is?”

“How would we know? We are simply Vikings in Valhalla. We do not see the rest of the world.”

“Just remember, warriors, do not show their heart until the ax reveals it.” Loki laughs drumming his fingers together.

Stiles decides that he’s not gonna worry about the ramblings of an obviously insane man. So, he just continues to enjoy the food while observing the hall around him. Most of the people are fighting still, ignoring the food around them but there is one man who catches Stiles’ attention.

The man in question wouldn’t have stood out so much had it not been for the fact that he seemed to be eating and drinking everything he could get his hands on. Stiles found it odd but then figured that this was just the way some people are here.

Returning to his conversation, he’s not sure how long he’s spent talking to the two when suddenly, there’s liquid all over the table. Shoving himself away from it, he looks over to see the same man that had been devouring everything in his reach is now eating the food around him.

He’s drinking from one of the chalices only to toss it to the side and grab another and then another.

"Whoa, buddy, ya thirsty?"

"Oh, you have no idea.” the man grins at him, yellowed teeth prominently on display before he licks his lips, “I'm insatiable."

<<Prev || Masterlist || Next>>

tag list:

@nicole-lynne @fandom-princess-forevermore @capandbuck @biles-bilinski-24 @stiles-o-dylan24 @fiveisadorable @falling-stars-never-cry @blueraindrops@its-livelovelife @screamxqueenx94 @ceceliaking-18 @jasmin3xswayz31994@dear-vista @fangirlbitch02 @riseandshinelittleblossom @jessicakimba @truthdaze @seninjakitey @kateeee0817 @squadkyoya @lucifersnipnips @niawoods @pansexualbitchesofhell @bloodrose-scythe @fox-in-a-mousetrap-8 @findingmyselfinthismessedupworld @shantayok @yougottalovefandoms

Do not copy and paste my writing anywhere without my consent. This work is the property of lettersofwrittencollective . Associated characters belong to MTV and are being borrowed for this work, all OC’s are the property of lettersofwrittencollective. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.

Posted 11 May 2019

#reader insert #stiles #stiles x reader #stiles imagine #stiles imagines #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski imagines #stiles stilinski imagine #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf insert #teen wolf rewrite #my writing #the pull #series #odin #norse mythology #valhalla

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bittertoastmarket · 5 years

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Okay! I was tagged by the amazing @a-death-like-icarus to throw up some cover art and talk about my fave music. I honestly listen to mostly playlists that I've made so I tried to lay out albums I grew up with or enjoy every song of, but this was way hard lol.

(Forgive the format I am on moble)

You're Awful, I Love You by Ludo: This was the first band I ever saw at Warped Tour which was my first concert! I genuinely love this albumn and love that half the songs are love songs and the rest are huge fuck yous with ukulele solos. My first tattoo were song lyrics from their song Topeka.

Lest We Forget The Best Of by Marilyn Manson: I actually originally got this album in secret as a young teen because my mom was very anti Marilyn Manson. I was so paranoid about her finding it that I recorded it over to A MIX TAPE I SHIT YOU NOT that started with 3 Days Grace so she wouldn't find it. It was so worth it to me at the time.

Discovering The Waterfront by Silverstein: This album single handedly got me out of a really abusive and horrible relationship. Sounds stupid but i was really lovedrunk about the guy but I couldn't figure out why I was so unhappy. The song that holds the album name has a part that goes like this: Pretend it's not forever, I'll pull myself together I'll say that I'll forget her, I'll breathe. And I'll say she never hurt me, And look at it as learning, And laugh about the good and the bad. Because I won't live forever We don't belong together, I know I'll feel better, One day when I can make it through.

It helped me realize that losing love I thought I wanted was okay because he was awful for me and wouldn't change but one day without him I would be fine. Just needed that shove.

A.M. by Arctic Monkeys: this almost didn't make the list because I wanted to put What Seperates Me From You by A Day To Remember, but this album was my driving soundtrack back when I was in a really low place after said bad break up. I would just aimlessly drive around Boise, Meridian and Kuna just trying to run away from how I felt but I would always end up in Swan Falls watching the sun set while listening to this albumn. Very good for my dramatic ass.

This is when shit gets fun!

One Of Us by Mystery Skulls: I actually loved his first albumn a lot but this is the one I got to see him in concert for first. My boyfriend showed me his music, somehow I missed the Ghost music video that everyone loves, and when we saw him live I realized he was traveling with his childhood bff and his girlfriend. Both of whom are also in good bands and you get a really nice comradery vibe from their live shows. I followed them to two concerts this year. It was dope af.

UNDERTALE Soundtrack by Toby Fox: Alright, I know almost everyone loves UNDERTALE, and for good reason, but something about Toby Fox and his amazing music talent really resonated with me. He has become a really big inspiration for me and I ended up loving his characters so much I got a Flowey tattoo. Mostly to remind myself that there are multiple paths in life and sometimes even the most well meaning of characters can become soured by their own greed and misery but everyone deserves another chance and can grow up and see how they have negatively impacted those around them. Plus its a poppin album that makes my anxiety melt away. If DELTA RUNE had been longer I would have chosen that one because it's going to be something fantastic I can feel it lol

Studio Killers: Alright, if you haven't heard Ode to a Bouncer, fuck off right now and go listen. This whole album is amazing and I just recently found out that its four people and an animator who makes all their vlogs and MV and shit. Which is really fucking cool because they produce almost all of their own shit. I like that they're set up like the Gorillaz where the band is actually created personas. And their personas are hilarious.

A Break by Phangs: okay so Phangs is the childhood bff of Mystery Skulls and he as a person is really fucking amazing. I got to meet him at the last concert and his music reminds me of the one scene from George Of The Jungle where George is dancing with his lady and its all romantic and airy feeling. It's pretty chill music, you can tell live that he has a lot of passion for what he does and even tho the album is hella short the two bangers on it are legit. I also got to see him do a cover of Eye to Eye from The Goofy Movie so you know he's a feel good artist.

And lastly Pop Food by Jack Stauber: I like just found his music through my weird ability to make obscure playlists on GooglePlay. Honestly it's just hella chill and Oh Klahoma gets stuck in my head so fucking bad but in a good way. This album led me to a lot of Synthwave I ended up enjoying a lot but as a whole album I had to go with this one.

#me #personal #jack stauber #marilyn manson #ludo #phangs #mystery skulls #Silverstein #UNDERTALE #Toby Fox #Studio Killers #arctic monkeys #my music #music

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juleswolverton-hyde · 6 years

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A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning | 01

Genre: Smut, Romance, Angst, Stepbrother AU

Pairing: Stepbrother!Namjoon x English student!Reader

Warning: Appearance of a jealous Namjoon, rutting

Summary: Love comes in many shapes, but does not always have a prosperous fate. However, whereas parents might have found it, all the children can do is live in kalopsia.

Forbidden yet denying the mourning of the path chosen for them by Fate.

Author’s Note: Kalopsia (n.): the delusion of things being more beautiful than they are.

Also, my brain descended further into madness, deteriorating fast thanks to exams about poetry and linguistics, thus producing this fanfic which was originally meant to be a one-shot. Yet, here we are, and it would be a lie to say I am not secretly living for this.

Masterlist / Next part

Preface

As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls to go, Whilst some of their sad friends do say The breath goes now, and some say, No: So let us melt, and make no noise, No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move; 'Twere profanation of our joys To tell the laity our love. Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears, Men reckon what it did, and meant; But trepidation of the spheres, Though greater far, is innocent. Dull sublunary lovers' love (Whose soul is sense) cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove Those things which elemented it. But we by a love so much refined, That our selves know not what it is, Inter-assured of the mind, Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss. Our two souls therefore, which are one, Though I must go, endure not yet A breach, but an expansion, Like gold to airy thinness beat. If they be two, they are two so As stiff twin compasses are two; Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show To move, but doth, if the other do. And though it in the center sit, Yet when the other far doth roam, It leans and hearkens after it, And grows erect, as that comes home. Such wilt thou be to me, who must, Like th' other foot, obliquely run; Thy firmness makes my circle just, And makes me end where I begun. John Donne, Songs and Sonnets, 1633

Happiness can occur in life in all sorts of shapes in places both expected and unexpected, easy to reach or lying at the end of a rocky road. Sometimes it is a physical thing or activity that brings joy - a cup of coffee or tea on a dreary morning while reading a good book that university does not obligate you to read - and sometimes it is a person.

Dad found it in a foreign woman after divorcing Mom, steadily building a relationship from the ashes of the one that had just been burned to the ground, leaving only a daughter just finished with high school as the last steady though crumbling pillar. It could have collapsed had she not accepted the woman and the son who had flown over from a week earlier from the country she herself had left behind and managed to remain friendly despite the thirty-hour jetlag upon seeing the extended welcoming committee upon arrival. Even able to continue to do so in spite of insecurity, crazy working hours draining every last bit of humanity at times and - nowadays fairly decreased - social anxiety arousing suspicion around every unknown person.

At times it remains hard due to the cultural differences, but shared moments like dinners and helping with setting up the rooms for the new inhabitants has only strengthened the bond so that it has become like the days of the old marriage. In fact, travel stories alongside common interests form another source of daily bonding regardless of being busy with university and complaining about it.

Nevertheless, it is a form of love: family. And there is a gladness it has been restored to a formerly broken man trying to create the best life for an insecure though growing lass with wanderlust who likes to be more often absent than present.

Withal, these days the need to escape is grander thanks to a new reason.

Another love in the form of a person.

A big man who is five years older with the beautiful mind of an old soul and the brains of a proper academic, speaking with a silver tongue without lies and baritone tone reminiscent of the days spent by the sea during travelling in the gap year before giving university a chance forms a source of joy in this particular case. Habits like the patting of the head accompanied by encouragements and hugs coloured with a mixture of protectiveness and assurance before setting off on yet another adventure somewhere in the world when the educational and work schedule allows it or before stressful tests increasing the pressuring anxiety bring more comfort than they ought. How curious to see the rise in intimacy in comparison to the polite cold handshakes at the very start of the second journey during twelve careless months.

The sense of amenity has especially become more prominent after a particular night filled with terrors which occupied every dream, making the unconscious body futilely attempt to fight the horror. Joon came bounding up the creaking attic stairs and burst through the door, making sure everything was alright after urgently waking a girl he barely knew safe for what her father and his mother had told him, refusing to go downstairs to the simply furnished bedroom also functioning as a studio and office they built up together. Instead, the one-person bed had to be shared as a harmless bear lay down beside a koala and held her all throughout the night to form a guard against any evil that would dare disturb the calm.

How cruel Fate is.

To send a person who unexpectedly had brought joy to a formerly bland existence filled with self-growth and a lonely road of which the emptiness was denied for surely the scenery made up for the lack of company.

But what of the local cafés for breakfast and coffee breaks, to scan through the taken pictures, show off any proud results to a companion? What of the bookstores to wander in for hours on end, the recommendations that cannot be given to a fellow bookworm?

No one is there.

Nothing but the empty shape of the man with adorable dimples and unique laugh that strangely captured the heart from the start.

All there is, is a sole pair of sneakers that are still a tad dirtied by Scottish mud when stubbornness resulted in being stuck in the hills, too afraid of falling to come down rapidly.

If Joon had been there, big hands would have guided us both down towards the beginning of Holyrood Park safely.

Been held while walking The Royal Mile and wrapped around a warm cup of freshly made cappuccino with impeccable latte art in the form of a Smeraldo flower as the rain poured from the ashen heavens yet we were sheltered from it by Miss MacIntyre’s cosy café.

If he had been there.

Thus, the girl who denied the loneliness is regardlessly left in solitude, lost among stories that can solely be shared with the one person who already loves another in the way the lone wolf loves him.

Because the bond of stepsister and stepbrother is in the way of pursuing a beloved who makes even the stressful days easier and who speaks with the distinct deep voice that can both rap and sing poetry, an odd contrast given the important day job requiring a suit, giving the genuine encouragements needed to see the hours through when everything becomes too much. Whose clothing style shows off the secret duality and sometimes becomes part of the self-developed one after coming home on a rainy day. Definitely becomes part of it if the temperatures are low and worries about potential sickness triggers the stubborn guardian inside the clumsy giant.

Namjoon makes the world not feel as if Atlas has handed over the burden. Instead, he selflessly lifts it.

And yet the truthful smile fades when low and more high-pitched murmurs and giggles on the other side of the bedroom door are heard during passing through the hallway to the attic in the evening, for it is undeniable Heungji, a beautiful onyx-haired girl on the other side of the world in a country - the place of his roots - as gorgeous as the fox herself, will keep the bear’s heart even if miles separate love. At least there is still the digital highway to connect and keep the relationship standing.

All we have are moments like these wherein the friendliness is painfully obvious while going out for a hot beverage together or lunch depending on the time of the seminar and his function as a debtor manager for the bank allows a break, even if the day has not gone awry. Nonetheless, today it has as the linguistics exam did not turn out as well as expected and the sole source of comfort - a cup of joe - cannot be paid for since everything which is necessary for the day was transferred from the bag used for the job as a retail worker to the backpack that was decidedly a better option, except my wallet.

Fortunately, the exchange student within our seminar group and also one of the loved friends made along the way, Changkyun - who goes by the name of Daniel to make it easier for the professors and likely evade embarrassment at the hand of wrong pronunciation - has offered to pay since he, too, needs a break from studying old literature. Moreover, there was no escaping the offer since the hazelnut-haired lad with a sly hint to a stoic look knows how much depends on caffeine in this student’s life and the salary earned at the supermarket in the mall would be deposited today anyway. Besides, spending some time with a fellow student, a rare occurrence outside lectures and regular class, might bring some peace of mind to the rampant mental chaos.

A buzz shaking in the back pocket of dark skinny jeans that do all but hold out the icy winter weather signifies the arrival of a message, the name upon checking who exactly sent it immediately bringing a sliver of a smile to thin lips desperate to cry out in frustration yet remaining silent. ‘Hey, how did it go? Did the practice we did last night do you any good?’

After dinner, Namjoon tried to help with the development of the skill of being able to distinguish between prescriptive and descriptive grammar as we sat in the corner of the stone-shaded L-shaped couch with the printed twenty-five page summary of all that needed to be learned. Before it would never even have occurred to the mind to lean on the broad shoulder offered so freely and embrace the strong arm which also functioned as a stress outlet whenever answering a question wrong. Joon did not mind it, merely asked in a laughing manner not to separate the limb from the body by squeezing.

It perhaps would have been after hearing yet another Skype call with Heungji.

It is silly, being so infatuated with a person who can never be held dear in the desired manner if they were ever fated to be with the lover from afar at all. But that is the way of the world: nobody can always get what they want. At least the parents who raised us have found happiness in each other, a virtue which is more important than the selfish desire for a grey-haired man who holds the middle between a wolf and a bear.

Withal, the same words spoken by the unattainable hidden philosopher when the first doubts about the study and everything surrounding it echo in the faded buzz of companions conversing with one another while waiting for the last party member: just because it is a bad day, does not necessarily mean it is a bad life.

Eager digits foolishly in love with the hallucination firmly cloaking them, refusing to lift the veil, type out a reply speaking the not so pretty truth. ‘First part went fairly well: 68/100. Guess I’m a grammar nazi, after all. The second part proved I, apparently, cannot use grammar in the normal sense. Completely screwed that up: 58/100. Hoping for an average above the 5.0.

‘Anywho, I’m going to forget about it for a wee while with Changkyun and a cup of coffee. Forgot my wallet, but he’s paying so it’s all good. Free coffee!’

An odd uncharacteristic response comes a split second later, the tone of the text containing a harshness which would normally never be associated with the kind giant regardless of the seemingly harmless proposal. ‘I’ll pay. You know what, let’s get lunch together. My treat. I’ll come to pick you up and we’ll go to your favourite restaurant near the convention centre.’

‘Joon, it’s fine. I’ll eat something at home and get back to studying. Besides, it’s only coffee before returning to the study of 1100 years of literary history and I’m sure you’re busy.’ Normally, the chance of sharing a meal after a late morning seminar would not be skipped, certainly not at the Asian fusion restaurant nearby the station and grand cinema, but it is nice to do something with someone else for a change.

Eyes widen in surprise at the determination and silent sternness colouring the turn the conversation has taken, unbelieving of the attitude Namjoon has suddenly taken on. ‘Seeing as I’m texting you, I must not be very busy. Let me take care of you. What was the address of the building where you have class again?’

‘Is this a Korean thing or just you being a very insistent gentleman? Don’t make such a deal out of it and get back to work.’ In the beginning and even nowadays there is a noticeable difference in culture as the wolf simply does not permit me to pay for my own food when the city allows repose from obligation and we should share a meal as family.

As stepbrother and sister.

The role of the latter becomes harder with the day, but the sole audience who gets to see the actress perform remains blind to the woman underneath the makeup due to the performance which crumbles behind the scenes.

The argument is completely disregarded in favour of the behaviour laced with curious possessiveness. ‘Oh, never mind. I remember now. In fact, I’ll be there in ten.’

‘Un-fucking-believable.’ With a defeated sigh and shake of the head, the phone is tucked back into the pocket and music softly sounding through crisp white earbuds turned on again. It is the variety of upbeat Korean pop songs mixed with indie artists and symphonic metal that keeps the blood boiling enough without acting in a rash impulse. Hands are tucked in the pockets of the leather jacket lined with fake wolf fur to trap all bodily warmth. Nonetheless, there is a fleeting, spiderweb-thin, unknown emotion adding extra heat to the body despite the apparent need for control. Something different than the amorous sensation normally provoked by the tall man.

‘Y/N, you okay?’ The baritone voice making one assume the lad speaking is older than the truth dictates, makes a mocking focus shift from sneakers forever engraved by adventures in Scotland and lined with sheep’s wool lightly kicking the ground to the face of the boy who has been a friend since the beginning of September. The hero of this awful day. Wearing the same style as on the matching day, raven locks parted in the middle to make the same-toned baggy hoodie appear more fashionable than it actually is and golden-rimmed glasses framing bright almond-shaped eyes the colour of the earth in autumn set above a tall nose, Changkyun stands waiting patiently for an explanation for the change in behaviour with crossed arms. ‘You already said the test didn’t go too well, but now you seem even more pissed off. Did something happen?’

‘My stubborn... brother.’ The last word comes out with difficulty for lately the situation has grown complicated due to emotions and actions both parties show and undertake, cloaking the relationship in a confusing veil outside of the eyes of loving parents. ‘I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately, but his behaviour has changed and not exactly always for the better. In fact, Joon is somehow completely against us getting coffee. Just two weeks ago he wouldn’t have minded because he knows you’re a good friend of mine, but now he’s acting even worse than I do when The Red Dragon is around.’

Withal, even before the mentioned period of change, some uncharacteristic tweaks in attitude that would soon be made part of the self had been noticeable.

The most obvious one was the curious shift from jealousy which was tried very much to be hidden underneath a calm listening expression to almost undeniable relief at hearing the male coworker turned into a good comrade on the first day of work at a new job picked up a month or so ago at the local mall as a retail worker already has a girlfriend.

A little while later, mayhaps in the week that followed, a similar rapid storm of emotions passed behind the wizened gaze of the bear who was reading Me Before You by Jojo Moyes as Dad and Jeongja, the gentle lovely woman who raised Namjoon and now also has a daughter to care for, spent the evening by watching series on Netflix. The slight cramping of slender caramel digits around the bright crimson sides of the novel showed everything that secretly flashed by in the eyes partially obscured by the top side of the book at hearing a few fellow students, the sole individuals who have been deemed genuine and fun company, dropped by the store for a brief visit before heading home via the station just across the plaza. Changkyun’s name - the sole male one among the fellowship - triggered the quiet rage. The rest form no problem since they are lasses, but the stoic boy who could make an advance that would deepen the current friendship to a more meaningful bond was in the unspoken opinion seething on the stone-toned sofa.

Still is, judging from the tiny tenses of fingers or other easily dismissible negative quirks that appear after accounting having made a linguistics or literature seminar more fun than it truly was by goofing around - in a respectful manner that did not disturb the professor, of course - with a mere companion.

Another sign of transformation are the touches in the early morning when preparing the first cup of coffee of the day, the necessary beverage to get through the following hours, and a small bowl of soy yoghurt. First, it was simply digits muzzling extremely dishevelled but clean ash blonde locks which looked as if having withstood a tornado or gentle petting if they had fallen into a messy though charming bedhead look. Then those touches turned into big warm palms wrapping over the shoulder bared by the baggy shirt functioning as sleepwear, apparently a “convenient” point of support for getting something from the cupboard - being kindly slapped with a sachet of instant coffee on the head - or fridge.

None of it has been minded thus far since it casts a mirage which only adds to the forbidden longing for the tall man who can never be had and the fact Namjoon is the sole person who is allowed any kind of showing physical affection in the morning without being grumbled at. Mayhaps this is how siblings behave in Korea, showing more affection than here in Europe.

However, the intimacy to which they have grown alongside the farewell and welcome-back hugs at the airport or after a long tiring day, certainly will make any outsider curious as to what lies beneath the surface which allows the touches to this degree.

Nonetheless, in those instances, out of the sight that would surely question and judge the skinship, the world is a bit less harsh and the day easier on the psyche.

In those delusional meaningless moments, we are more than stepbrother and sister.

I am his and he is mine.

Regardless, what was minded and continues to bother the consciousness anew after being butchered by grammar and now once again tries to find a plausible explanation for the half-slumbering given excuse which bore no conviction, is this morning’s suddenly very intimate gesture. Perhaps it was an accident because there surely is no other justification for the paradoxical situation that unintentionally formed a prelude to today’s troubled train of thought.

Withal, the sensation of feeling a warm chest containing a wildly beating heart pressed against the spine while a hardened heat source pushed with the same pressure against the behind, the intention of the sensual action clear, and having arms wrapped around the shoulders in an inappropriate intimate embrace as thick grey locks appeared in the corner of barely though immediately alert vision cannot be easily let go of. Just like the full lips drowsily murmuring undecipherable statements against the shoulder blade while one hand travelled down to grip the hip and guide it to feel the slow barely noticeable rhythm set in by the wolf.

When remarking upon the fairly awkward situation, perversely wishing to remain a bit longer like this - even going as far bringing the pleasure suddenly sought after, yet not wanting to ignite any futile hope with the desire-filled images rapidly flashing by in a mental thunderstorm - Sense returned from wherever it went in an instant and the bear tainted with the traces of slumber muttered a poor excuse about not being fully conscious, having had a difficult conversation the night before with Heungji and therefore not being in the right proper mindset.

That it was just a lucid dream.

After all, we are siblings.

It meant nothing.

Simply an accident.

A bittersweet moment of actually feeling wanted as more than the sweet girl by the poet bound to an onyx fox in the land of tigers.

But it is uncertain what Heungji would think of the recent obvious displays of jealousy. Surely, it would not be much appreciated if a lover so clearly is affected by the actions of another, basically not allowing them to be with anyone who is not approved of aside from themselves. In fact, the situation a wolf and koala are in is one of cheating.

Then again, there is too much distance between the two and things are easily left unspoken.

Mayhaps I am a mere distraction.

Worth nothing.

Howbeit, if one thing has been learned from the relatively brief time together, it is that cold false games like that are not Namjoon’s way and would be an unbelievable attempt at hiding the genuine nature underneath the sometimes intimidating exterior. Henceforth, something must have happened which has triggered the change. After all, how difficult was that conversation last night and was it the first or another addition to a series of multiple? Furthermore, there are still the kind-hearted soft female giggles and sonorous chuckles resonating from the other side of the door, although not quite so often as they used to do.

It is frustrating how the self cannot let go of Hope and let Sense lead it down another, less painful, path. That there is no progress from the dream keeping the mind captured.

What would not be given in order to escape the kalopsia.

‘He is likely just concerned for his little sister. I know I’d be if my sister would go out, even for just a coffee, with a guy despite claiming they’re merely friends.’ A small smile forms on roseate lips, promising there is nothing to worry about and this is merely natural behaviour. ‘He’s simply being a good brother, Y/N.’

‘Changkyun, you don’t- no, never mind.’ At the last second, the intent to use the accident as an argument is repressed, deciding it is too much information to share with somebody regardless of the bond with them. ‘Let’s just keep it at that he’s simply being weird but, as you said, a good brother.’

A lie which has to be believed every single day in order to move past the fantasies romanticizing reality and keeping the conscious blind to the all too eager harshness which would so like to make them crumble into tiny irretrievable shards.

To keep breathing when the salt shed in privacy has dried and Namjoon still is not there.

To just keep going.

‘Whatever you say, Y/N. Whatever you say.’

For a few more minutes, we simply stand basking in the warm scent of the building’s coffee corner while waiting for the last party member to return from the awful linguistics test, spending the time in silence disturbed by melodies only a sole pair of ears can hear. The music calms the nerves standing on edge with the for once negative anticipation of seeing the recently grown odd stepbrother appear in the doorway to fulfil the promise that could not be refused.

There is always a choice, you tell me that time and again when rock bottom is close or times are generally hard but not desperate. However, why is there not now? Why can’t you let me pick?

‘I’m so glad that’s over! All I want to do is go home and forget this bloody test.’ Golden straight locks round the corner in a whirlwind of temporarily gradually fading worry, held together by a caramel-toned hair tie. Judging from the tiredness dimming the normally bright - albeit tainted with stress more often than not - crystal blue stare, Monica is well and truly done with the day. ‘Let’s get out of here. I need to go home to study for tomorrow’s exam.’

‘Go take a break with us.’ The need for a brief repose is barely able to be dismissed from even the slightly happier expression breaking the stoic façade of the pale hazelnut-haired fellow caffeine addict. ‘Y/N and I are going to get some coffee anyway so join us.’

‘It’ll do you some good. Studying can wait until later.’ Fingers remove the headphones providing rest for a chaotic mind, the sounds of the world flowing in after melodies fade. A hand stretches out, tempting another soul into procrastination. ‘Or you’ll end up like Donne, obsessed with death. Death by studying. Come on, Mon. Let’s go.’

Withal, it cannot be taken nor a step set towards the exit of the edifice before an all too familiar baritone voice growls in warning. ‘How about you come with me?’

So far for escaping the sole person who wanted to be evaded at all costs to merely enjoy the rare occasion of doing something with friends, unrelated to university.

Because in the doorway and thus barring the way, clad in a neat onyx turtleneck and same-coloured pants underneath a trench coat which is a lighter shade of black, the outfit put on for work as a debtor manager this very morning, stands an intimidating wolf instead of the kind book-loving bear who helped with studying last night. And since there is no help, there is also no possible tactic that can be employed to still succeed in circumventing the six-feet-tall blockade.

There is no way to avoid Namjoon, raging with jealous menace.

#BTS #BTS smut #kpopwonderlandtag #btssmutclub #btsguild #armyofwriters #BTS x Reader #Namjoon #RM #Kim Namjoon #Joon #Stepbrother!Namjoon #A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning

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extraneousdominomask · 6 years

Text

Of Heists and Hustles - The Abridged Version

[Night in Zootopia. The Nope Diamond is travelling to The Museum, and all the cops are helping. All the cops except]

Judy: This sucks! I wanna help!

Nick: I am ambivalent.

[The Cooper Gang waits nearby, ready to steal it!]

Sly: I'm a thief!

Bentley: I'm a hacker.

Murray: I'M THE MURRAY

Sly: This sucks. I'm bored.

McHorn: Oh god! We're all getting beaten up by a giant shirtless cat!

Sly: Amazing!

[Sly meets Tai Lung. He is giant and shirtless.]

Sly: I have stolen the diamond!

[Tai Lung hits him very hard.]

Judy: Stop right there! You're under arrest!

[Tai Lung hits her very hard.]

Tai Lung: I will now kill you.

Sly: Not if I heroically intervene! It's my Establishing Character Moment! I do nice things but for selfish reasons maybe!

[Everybody fights. Nick throws the diamond. Judy throws herself after it. Both land in a river.]

Nick: I am anxious!

Tai Lung: I am leaving.

Judy : I am the world's greatest cop!!!! but also cold and wet

[It's still night. The same night and everything! Tai Lung is running across rooftops.]

Tai Lung: I am the best at running across rooftops!

Sly: Get on my level, amateur, you don't even know I'm following you.

Tai Lung: What?

Sly: Nothing.

Bentley: Sly, what's happening?!

Sly: A bad guy tried to steal the diamond and hurt a policewoman. I am following him because I hate him.

Bentley: Your libido will be the death of us all.

[It's The Museum. The curator of The Museum is Black Panther. Yes, really.]

Okonkwo: Thank you for saving the diamond. I hired Wolf O'Donnell to protect it, but he hasn't been written into the story yet. Would you like to come to my fancy party on Friday?

Nick: Heck yes!

Judy: As long as we don't die horribly before then, ha ha!

[Awkward silence.]

[It's a gross warehouse. There are hyenas.]

Shenzi: We're hyenas!

Banzai: Except now we're also bikers!

Tai Lung: Move aside. I hate you.

[A tiny nerd uses a telephone.]

Peridot: I'VE SPENT A LOT OF EFFORT ENSURING MY BOSS IS A SECRET!

Mastermind: Ironically, it is transparently obvious who I am.

Sly: I've just taken photos of all of you!

Tai Lung: What! I will now kill y-

[Murray hits him with a van.]

Murray: let's BOUNCE

[It's the ZPD morning briefing! With your host, Chiiiiiiiief Bogo!]

Bogo: Let's get this over with. I have strict orders to distract from the fact this entire chapter is exposition by utilizing

Sly: snazzy scene transitions!

Bentley: ...why did you yell that?

Sly: Just run it, Hardison.

Bentley: This is Tai Lung. He punches. This is Peridot. She hacks. These are the hyenas. They're dumb, and, furthermore, stupid. Squeezing them might reveal the mastermind, who I have been unable to identify.

Sly: And what about

Judy: the oddly attractive raccoon, Chief?

Bogo: He's Sly Cooper. He and his friends steal things for fun, mostly from other criminals. But sometimes they don't, I guess. We have an Interpol agent coming to help us. That is all.

Nick: Wow, I wish all our briefings could be this short. That just leaves

Sly: Nick and Judy!

Bentley: Yes. Nick and Judy. They are friends who fight crime.

Sly: I will befriend them also. Get me a telephone.

Judy: I just got a text! Sly wants to meet us.

Nick: Guess we better investigate.

Judy: Sounds like a plan, my dearest friend who I love and share a house with!

Nick: So are we boning or what?

Judy : Unclear!

[Nick and Judy are in a park, reading a newspaper of wacky mayoral candidates.]

Nick: Look at all these wacky mayoral candidates! Like Toriel Undertale! And Scar!

Judy: "Scar" is a dumb name.

Nick: Yes.

Clawhauser: It's me, Clawhauser, over the radio! Bogo wants to see you, Nick!

Nick: Heck. Don't die, Judy.

Judy: Okay!

[Nick leaves. Sly enters.]

Sly: Wanna team up?

Judy: Only kinda!

Bogo: Come in, Wilde, and meet our Interpol liaison.

Nick: Great, some stuffed-shirt two-bit - ¡dios mío, zorra muy bonita!

Carmelita: Hello, I'm Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox. And I should hope you mean that to be translated literally, not colloquially.

Nick: You work for Interpol?! That completely invalidates my significance as a street-level officer in Furry New York.

Carmelita: True. But remember: Star Fox.

Nick: Star Fox?

Carmelita: Yes.

Bogo: Wilde, you've been chosen to work with Carmelita because you know the city like no-one else.

Carmelita: Pretty good justification for why I'd team up with a complete rookie, right?

Nick: If I don't have Judy helping me I might cry. Just a heads up.

Bogo: In a somewhat out-of-character move, I will grant Hopps freedom from usual department rules.

Carmelita: In a very out-of-character move, I am okay with this.

Nick: The important thing is that I got what I wanted.

Carmelita: Congratulations. Now if you'll excuse me, I should go get my ninety minutes of daily sleep.

Bogo: Wilde, for god's sake, learn some independence. Hopps could die at literally any moment, you ever think about that?

Nick: Yes!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!!!!! It consumes me from within!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bogo: Well, good. As long as you're aware.

Nick: Star Fox?!?!

Judy: Yes.

Sly: Go arrest the hyenas to find the mastermind.

Judy: Smart plan. But my partner isn't gonna like this.

Nick: I don't like this!

Judy: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease? Just once!

Nick: Fine. Just once. Oh, also, the Interpol inspector is a fox, and also also, Bogo is letting you help me help her. Secretly.

Judy: Wow! Wow to all of that!

Nick: Yeah. Now let's go to Ruby's bar.

[It's Ruby's bar.]

Ruby: I'm Ruby, from the show RWBY!

Blake: I'm quiet.

Finnick: And I'm here too.

Nick: oh god

Judy: Are you two not friends any more?

Finnick: It's genuinely unclear in canon if we ever were.

Murray : Time for THE MURRAY to make like a Cold War superpower and instigate a proxy conflict!

[He does. There are many kicks. The hyenas go to jail.]

Tai Lung: Heck.

Carmelita: So Nick and Judy think these hyenas are connected to the diamond heist?

Bogo: I'll be honest, Inspector, I just let them do whatever and they work things out eventually.

Banzai: You'll get nothing from me, copper!

Nick: [is Nick]

Banzai: here is every secret i've ever been told

Nick: So apparently the mastermind is Scar? That's ridiculous. Let's go bother him.

Peridot: HECK!!!!!!!!!!

Carmelita: Great work in there, Nick!

Nick: I was not a con artist!!

Carmelita: ...Cool! See you later.

[It's a slideshow.]

Bentley: Here's the slideshow for my new plan. We'll need three things: alarm schematics,

Sly: Right,

Bentley: an entire subway train,

Murray: NICE

Bentley: and an invitation we'll have to rob from an innocent old man.

Sly: Okay :)

Bentley: ...

Murray: ...That's... kinda evil, Bentl-

Bentley: Yes. It is.

[It's Scar's house.]

Scar: Hello, I'm Scar.

Judy: Are you the bad guy?

Scar: No, I'm Scar.

Nick: How's Mufasa?

Scar: That's unimportant. I'm Scar.

Judy: Are you connected with these hyenas?

Scar: Oh , I'm so sorry, but I haven't "seen" them in years >;3

Judy: ...can we arrest him for making that face

Nick: That legislation hasn't been finalized yet, sorry.

[They leave.]

Nick: Scar basically admitted to everything, but in a way that gives us no evidence. We've got nothing right now, but I'm sure it's him.

Judy: But why? Why steal the diamond?

Nick: Well, everyone loves us for saving the day. If he manufactured a similar situation, he might actually get voted in as mayor.

Judy: A transparently evil fascist using misinformation to win an election? Come on, Nick. This is 2016.

Nick: goddammit judy

Clawhauser: It's time to read Tai Lung's Extended Backstory File!

Carmelita: And I am here as well.

Clawhauser: Oh gosh! He's mostly evil because his dad died! And he did the manslaughter! Mammalslaughter...?

Nick: Yep, it's true. Doing one crime will ruin your life forever. Gotta tick off the Social Commentary box for this to be a real Zootopia fanfiction...

Carmelita: I remain unsympathetic to him in light of this information. My role in this and all narratives is to stick stringently to the Lawful part of Lawful Good. Never trust criminals. No matter how handsome they are.

Nick: But this doesn't explain why Tai Lung is helping Scar become mayor.

Judy: The mayor's office can pardon crimes! Somehow! Even though that really only applies to stuff like parking tickets, not an international crime spree of theft and probably murder!

Nick: In fairness, Tai Lung mightn't know that, Scar just needs to convince him.

Judy: Let's go with that, yes.

[A smol cat stabs Banzai with an umbrella.]

Banzai : Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Kill Nick!

[Carmelita shoots him with her Huge Gun.]

Carmelita: Writhe, little man.

Nick: He went savage! But only a little bit...

Judy: What evil genius put this together?

Peridot : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! LEGS... SHORT! HNFF

[The Cooper Gang steal a subway train.]

Murray: This is the BEST DAY EVER

[Tai Lung attacks.]

Murray: I change MY MIND

Sly: Go on without me, guys! I'll handle him alone! By which I mean I'm immediately calling Judy for help.

[There are many kicks.]

Judy: Wait! I know your tragic backstory!

Tai Lung: Then go make a gifset.

[His attempts to murder them do not abate. However, Sly and Judy save each other.]

Judy: Gosh, you're amazing!

Sly: No, you're amazing!

Judy: Gosh...

Sly: So are we boning or what?

Judy: Unclear!

Tai Lung: Enough of this vague romantic tension! You're boring me stiff!

[He bores into them until they are stiff.]

Murray: Oh my god Sly and Judy are dead wait, no, they're just sleeping.

Bentley: Yes. We're all terrified two protagonists will die halfway through the story.

Carmelita: Alright, losers, shut up and follow my lead. Time to demonstrate my full prowess as an officer.

Murray: Oh, wow! Are you gonna shoot him?

Carmelita: Murray, please. I'm an Inspector with Interpol. My tactical knowledge is a little more advanced than that.

Tai Lung: I'm going to drown these tiny fools! And there's nothing anyone can do to stop m-

[Carmelita proceeds to shoot Tai Lung in the face multiple times. It is very funny.]

Nick: I've found a way to weaponise his previously-established backstory!

Bentley: Thank god. We've justified that otherwise pointless detour.

Nick: Shut up and hack that telephone, Specs.

[The telephone rings.]

Murray: It's for you!

Tai Lung: Ahoy-hoy?

Nick: It's me! Your boss! Quit it.

Tai Lung: Pop quiz - what's my motivation?

Nick: Uh... you're doing these crimes to not be a criminal any more?

Tai Lung: Close enough. I will begrudgingly follow your suspiciously merciful orders.

Nick: We did it!

Bentley: Nice work. Say, does this look like a flash-bang to you?

Nick: Wh- OH GOD MY EYES

[Judy is propped up on many pillows.]

Nick: Okay, you didn't die this time, but that was pretty close.

Judy: Bring on Round Two!

Nick: I am genuinely begging you to take the day off. More for my sake than yours.

[It's Black Panther's office in The Museum.]

Wolf O'Donnell: And it's me! Wolf O'Donnell!

[Audience applause, cheers, howling.]

Okonkwo: Hello, my vaguely trusted employee. Can I help you?

Wolf: Yes. This job has much more master thieves than advertised. Pay me much more money.

Okonkwo: Your concerns are valid. However, I'm afraid I have no money to spare.

Wolf: ...well then! Forget I said anything. Not important ;)

[Peridot is watching cartoons illegally online - yes, specifically, that's what happened - when Tai Lung appears.]

Peridot: YYYYYYYYYYYYOU MESSED UP!

Tai Lung: Eh.

Peridot: I'M GONNA FIX IT!!!

Tai Lung: Off you go, then.

Peridot: NYEH

Sly: Always treat a lady to chocolates after she saves you from being drowned by a snow leopard.

Bentley: Terrible news! Murray's sick! He's come down with a serious case of Can't Be In The Plot Right Now!

Sly: Perfect! What a convenient excuse to invite Judy to fight slash commit crime with me!

Bentley: Sly, can we please talk about the underlying issues pushing you into this uncharacteristic behaviour?

Sly: No.

[Nick and Carmelita must do computer things.]

Carmelita: I like you, Nick. I'm gonna tell you a bit of my backstory - lord help me, I'll even banter with you.

Nick: Wow. Well, it's an honour being under you.

Carmelita: So are we boning or what?

Nick: Unclear!

[Judy has had the entire day off. She is ready to die.]

Judy: I am ready to make some terrible decisions!

[She receives a text from Sly.]

Sly: check out this hot selfie i took at an active crime scene

Judy: Wow! What an attractive terrible decision!

Sly: want to help me beat up a small nerd?

Judy: i'm there! [rabbit emoji] [raccoon emoji] [gun emoji] [computer emoji]

Peridot: CLODS! STEP INTO MY DEATHTRAP GAUNTLET AND DIE!

Sly: How about................... we don't do that?

Judy: yeah okay

Peridot: NO!!!

[Peridot locks them into an employee lounge, forcing them to Bond(tm).]

Sly: So basically I'm doing this for my dead dad.

Judy: Interesting. Isn't he dead, though?

Sly: Hmm, good point.

[Nick receives a text from Judy.]

Nick: uhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Carmelita: What's up, buttercup?

Nick: On one hand, I should probably keep this a secret. On the other, Please Help.

Sly: My arc is that I can't stop stealing.

Judy: Mine is that I'm probably going to h*cking die.

Sly: Haha wow!

Judy: Hey. Hey, Sly, guess what. I know your tragic backstory too. That's rough, buddy.

Sly: Thanks, Judy. I appreciate it. Y'know, you'd make a pretty good thief.

Judy: And you'd make a good cop!

Sly: Um, funny story,

Nick: You drafted a falsely amnesiac Sly Cooper into Interpol?! That's not a funny story at all! That's melancholic, and deeply concerning!

Carmelita: Look. In my defence... I wanted to bone him.

Nick: That's not-!

Peridot: CLODS! STEP INTO MY DEATHTRAP GAUNTLET AND DIE! PLEASE?!

Nick: Let's cut the power.

Peridot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nick: I lied. I actually was a con-artist.

Carmelita: I know, Nick, I've seen the movie.

Sly: You should communicate more clearly with your partner.

Judy: Good suggestion, internationally wanted criminal. I'll get right on that, just as soon as-

[The power goes out and the doors open.]

Judy: Oh, cool, we can beat up that nerd!

Sly: Finally!

Peridot: THIS IS A BAD NIGHT FOR PERIDOT

Tai Lung: Ugh! I'm here to save you.

Nick: They're gone. But we can still arrest Sly - Judy, cuff him!

Judy: Um... no.

[It's breakfast time! Judy... actually, y'know what? I'm not gonna comedically abridge this part. Chapter 16 of this story came out very, very well, especially since I don't consider serious emotion one of my strengths. I might suggest you just go and read it if you're interested. It's the emotional culmination of the separate arcs for Nick, Judy, and Sly/Carmelita that build through the story, and I'm still very pleased with the results. Anyway. It's sad.]

[The Cooper Gang's sad too.]

Murray: I messed up!

Sly: Yeah. Me too.

Bentley: Oh, shut up, guys. You'll feel better when we successfully heist a diamond, I assume.

[Sad, sad, droopy ears.]

Judy: I am so depressed I am willingly performing traffic duty.

Clawhauser: I can't even cheer you up, and I'm Clawhauser!

Judy: She who is tired of Clawhauser is tired of life.

[At The Museum, Wolf is giving a helpful pep talk.]

Wolf: What do we want?

Wolves: Loads of money!

Wolf: How do we want it?

Wolves: From anyone!

Wolf : [tearing up] I'm so proud of you all.

[Nick and Carmelita try to find the Cooper Gang. All they find is a chocolate shop.]

Carmelita: This makes me feel angry!

Nick: I am dead inside. ...Moreso than usual.

[The bad guys are doing okay, really.]

Peridot: I'M VERY SORRY!

Mastermind: Sorta don't care. Is the Night Howler(tm) ready?

Tai Lung: We're using Night Howler on someone?

Mastermind: Oh, we're using it on someone alright >;3c

Tai Lung: how did you do that over the phone

[It's the fancy party! Wolf's manning the door.]

Wolf: I'm casually bullying a guy in a wheelchair! Just in case you weren't sure I was an antagonist.

Scar: Here is a bribe so I can carry skip the security check.

Wolf: I love my job.

Sly: Hiding in the rafters is making me feel a little better.

Tai Lung: Same.

Sly: Agh! What are you doing up here?!

Tai Lung: Right now? Just mocking you for having empathy. Loser.

Judy: Oh, hello, Carmelita. What's up?

Carmelita: This is a little late in the story, but: we have so much common ground. Don't repeat my mistakes. You have deeply impressed me in the threeish days I've known you, and I'm lucky to have met you.

Judy: W-wow. The feeling's more than mutual.

Carmelita: So are we boning or what?

Judy: Gosh, I hope so.

Nick: You enjoying the party, Scar?

Scar : Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhh >:3cccc

Nick: Soon, Nicholas. Soon.

Toriel: Excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my child. I'm a competent mother, I swear.

[Judy looks for Toriel's son, Asriel, but instead finds only a crime!]

Wolf: Gimme the diamond!

Okonkwo: What treachery is this?!

Wolf: I've received purely electronic communication from someone claiming to be the Cooper Gang, saying they'll pay me big money for this diamond.

Okonkwo: And you... trust that?

Wolf: Well, not any more. Clearly, Cooper is trying to fool me!

Okonkwo: Clearly.

[Wolf leaves with the diamond. Okonkwo obliterates a wolf with a single punch. He is, after all, Black Panther.]

Okonkwo: Officer Hopps, please help me evacuate the entire museum by claiming that a heretofore-unmentioned fireworks display is about to start, which is mandatory for all guests to attend, but will not actually materialise.

Judy: Wow! You are smart.

Okonkwo: Yes.

[Everyone leaves, miraculously.]

Tai Lung: Time for you to get poisoned by Night Howler!

[Tai Lung gets poisoned by Night Howler.]

Tai Lung: The - the shadowy figure who never so much as told me their name betrayed me?!

Sly: Oh, honey.

Asriel: Golly! I exist for only two things: bein' adorable and wanderin' heedlessly into deadly situations!

Sly: I've known this kid for only half a second but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

[Something almost happens to him.]

Sly: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[He saves the good good boy. The Cooper Gang regroup-er gang.]

Wolf: You'll pay for this, Cooper!

Sly: who in god's name are you

[There are many punches. Nick, Judy and Carmelita show up.]

Nick: We haven't resolved our issues yet!

Judy: But that won't stop us from DOOR!

[DOOR!]

Sly: Is everyone okay?!

Judy: Yeah, but the three of us are stuck in here with Tai Lung!

Nick: And I'm stuck out here like a tiny orange idiot!

Murray: Don't worry, Jak & Daxter reference! Me and Bentley will try to open this door offscreen!

Bentley: Yes, now's as good a time as any to exit the narrative. Frankly we've been secondary characters for this entire outing.

[Bye, guys!]

Carmelita: I have a novel idea - let's beat up the bad guy, with violence.

Sly: I love you so much.

Nick: Don't worry Judy, you can do this! You're amazing!

Judy: Thanks, Nick. I genuinely needed to hear that. What about you?

Nick: I can do something else. Because I'm also, separately, amazing.

Sly: Hey, cool, People Are Good At Different Things! That's the moral of my whole franchise.

Nick: Here's one for you - Nick Wilde Is The Best. That's the moral of mine.

Judy: Go get 'em, tiger.

[They go get the snow leopard as Nick go gets the lion.]

Nick: Ladies and gentlemammals, I know who's behind this.

Toriel: Is it me?

Nick: Actually, no! It's Mufasa!

Scar: What?! No! I'm ten times the jewel thief Mufasa is! ...Which, um, is zero. Because ten times zero is still zero.

Nick: Let's discuss this somewhere quieter, where it would be hypothetically easier to stab a police officer to death.

Scar: Excellent. Yes.

Scar : Why yes, I am exactly the kind of person to own a cane-sword.

Nick: Contrary to appearances, I am perfectly competent at my job! You're under arrest!

Scar: Curses! But I still have Peridot.

Nick: You really don't. She's gonna abandon you the second my excellent partner stops Tai Lung.

Scar: Ah, but will she?!

[She does.]

Judy: Oh god, Sly is dying!

Carmelita: No! Not like this...

Sly: Oh. Wow. You're... actually really sad. I'm fine actually. It was a prank. Epic... fake internal bleeding to steal a diamond prank! Y'know, that old... um... SMOKEBOMB

Peridot: I WILL NOW MAKE LIKE A LAWN CHAIR AND FOLD.

Nick: Just as I predicted! Everything's done, we can go home.

Judy: But Nick, we need to resolve these emotional arcs!

Nick: uuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[The roof!]

Sly: I'm sad. I ruined everything.

Judy: No, Sly. Not doing crimes is good, actually.

Sly: Source?

Nick: We are definitely not boning.

Sly: More's the pity. Maybe next time.

Carmelita: We might still be, though. Despite everything.

Sly: Hooray! Let's smooch!

[They smooch. I've been publishing fanfics for over six years - well over 200,000 words in the last two years alone - and for so long this was the only kiss in any of my stories. And I wonder why my numbers are low.]

Sly: I'll start making the world a better place by robbing Scar utterly blind! Catch you all later!

Carmelita : No, Sly, we'll catch you.

[Everyone laughs. Sly flings himself from the rooftop.]

Nick: Hey, Carmelita, let's be penpals.

Carmelita: Sure. That sounds like a mildly diverting interquel. I'm gonna get hammered on champagne now, so I'll leave you kids to your Feels.

[She does. Nick and Judy make up and stuff. Whatever.]

[Night in Zootopia.]

Epilogue! The bad guys go to jail, Carmelita learns how to email, Wolf disappears, Finnick gets a job at The Museum because I guess his presence in this story needed to go somewhere, the Cooper Gang's failure means the diamond is safe, Sly has a protracted existential crisis he claims is just him "figuring stuff out", and Nick and Judy - surprise surprise - are still friends. But are they boning? To this day, it remains unclear.

(At this rate, probably not.)

Woah, that was so much faster!!! I wrote this whole thing in under a week. I'm just gonna stick to this format from now on...

#sly cooper #zootopia #of heists and hustles #my writing

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ajw720 · 7 years

Note

Regarding D becoming A-list after ACS and if the stunts will continue, just a reminder that LDC had also reached his limit around 1995 a-fter playing a gay role in Total Eclipse- and wanted to come out as bi, I think, even had the interview planned. But then he got Romeo's role and his PR team (same PR as Darren) forced him in the closet to market him as a straight heartthrob for young females. He became A-list actor and never had the opportunity to come out since then. I see so many parallels.

Anon, you will get no argument from me. I am not going to comment on LDC specifically as I don’t have any facts to back that up. But there are tons and tons of actors that have been closeted for years. 20, 30, 40 and beyond. Barry Manilow is in his 70s and just came out. So many stars. And there are actors that have been married for an exceedingly long time to their beards and both parties are content to share public lives together and live completely separate private lives. I’d even say some of these marriages are based in genuine friendship. Many even have kids together.

And I don’t want to pretend that I know anything about how any of these people feel. I don’t have a clue. The only two I follow closely are C&D.

I truly believe the major difference is that D cannot handle it anymore. Further, I think he has weighed all of the consequences, all of the pros and cons, and I firmly believe he has decided that he wants to live his life freely and openly and is willing to accept the ramifications. he is well aware that if he comes out, it is not going to be all wine and roses and the road will be rocky. But i also think he has faith in his abilities and that he has chosen a career path that will allow him to be challenged but won’t require that he is straight.

At some point, every person has to make a choice for their future. Did he willingly sign a contract at 23? absolutely no question. Did he know he would be closeted? Yes, the first straight mention was immediate when he started on Glee. And I am not one of those that thinks C was the first man he dated. While I leave it to him to define his sexuality, i firmly believe he dated men prior to his start on Glee. And if this is the case, he did make a conscious choice at 23 to repress his sexuality. A choice I venture to bet most people would have taken when handed a similar opportunity.

But what I think he did not understand was (1) the impact it would have on him emotionally (2) the direct impact it would have on his family and partner (who was unknown when the initial contract was signed before he started) (3) the length of time it would continue (he has tried to come out multiple times and each and every time he was stopped by Fox/SS, so the will is there to tell the truth despite the known consequences) and (4) the manner in which he would be manipulated and abused by the people in his life- Fox/RIB/SS, his manager, and his insufferable beard.

Add another factor. His partner is not some no name person that is willing to sit in the background and twiddle his thumbs for the rest of his life and watch Darren deny him repeatedly and pretend to love someone else. If you think that is the case, you have grossly underestimating Mr. Colfer. I know there is this tendency to say Chris needs to be protected. I could not disagree more. He is an adult who is more than capable of handling himself. He has played the games and supported Darren because there has not been a choice. But he is completely over it and ready to stand strong by Darren as they move forward in their lives and careers.

I won’t lie, I was unsure on how much Fox was in the background controlling the situation for a long period post Glee as there seemed to be no interaction between the parties. And even I started to question why the closeting was continuing and leaned towards manipulation by his team.

But it became very clear that Fox is very much the controlling player in this when Royalties was announced last fall (remember the day after the Pap kiss). And as I have stated on multiple occasions, i think a deal has been made that is favorable to all parties and allows Darren his freedom in time.

Am I right? Maybe. Time will tell. But I for one will be shocked if D willingly remains closeted for a lengthy period of time.

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chloe-elizabeth-price · 7 years

Note

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”) which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that!

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these!

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

#thanks for the ask!

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scithemodestmermaid · 5 years

Text

I’m going to talk about Pokemon Sword a bit, and you know I’m serious because I’m actually using proper capitalization. Warning: it’s a pretty long review.

I’m several hours in and up to Route 5, and while the game does have flaws it’s still a good game. That’s the short version. The long version is going to be pretty long.

Now I’m going into this game a despiser of Dexit. The only reason I bought the game is because this is the first gen where I’ve been at the very least content with all the new designs and because I wanted to see if Gamefreak could put out a good game without all the Pokemon before decrying them for being unable to do so. And I know a lot of people have been attacking the game and every positive thing said about it, saying that the devs are lazy, and there’s no soul in the game, and the people who buy the game should just kill themselves because they alone are what’s wrong with the world, etc etc etc.

And let me just say, if you’re one of those people telling others to kill themselves because they did or did not buy/like the game....shut the fuck up. You are not helping your side, whichever side it may be. And don’t ever, ever, tell someone to commit suicide. Especially over something as trivial as a game. This is not singling out Pro-Dexit or Anti-Dexit or whatever; I’ve seen some pretty abysmal things said on both sides towards both sides. And that needs to stop. If you can’t discuss your side like a mature human being, then go back to your playroom and let the grown-ups talk.

Now that THAT’S off my chest, to discuss what I like and dislike...

What I Like:

Visuals are leaps and bounds ahead of USUM, and there have been several spots where I’ve just been impressed with how pretty everything is. Granted, the Wild Area visuals are a step below the traditional routes. The trees in the Wild Area do, indeed, all look like the infamous N64 tree that was floating around. But here’s the crazy thing, I didn’t really notice unless I was specifically staring at it. Otherwise, it all just blends into the background and doesn’t matter in the end.

The new Pokemon designs. Like I mentioned, this this the first gen where I have been okay with the newly-introduced mons, if not outright adoring them and calling them my new faves. Impidimp line, Toxel line, Hattena line, Yamper line, Nickit line, Rolycoly line...all have stolen my heart. The Galarian forms bear mentioning, as well; so far I’ve only encountered G. Zigazagoon and G. Meowth and technically Giga Meowth (I mean, I’ve seen all the leaks, but still, it’s honestly different finding them yourself), and they are just so fun. The design team absolutely knocked it out of the park this time around.

The new Mons’ animations. Yes yes, I know I know, all the crap animation memes. But, talking specifically about the new Mons...they move really nicely. An example would be Nickit’s attack (as seen here): after the attack, it deftly brushes away its tracks before settling back into its idle animation. It’s such a small little detail that adds so much to Nickit’s personality. There’s several other mons with little visual details like that: Yamper’s little jump after a tackle, Drizzile pulling water balloons from its tear sacs and tossing them, Toxel’s lil temper tantrum, and the list goes on. The new guys look and move great.

The Wild Area. Now, if you go in expect the entirety of Breath of the Wild, then yes you will be disappointed. But the Wild Area is definitely a step in a neat direction for Gamefreak. There’s a variety of Mons to find, Raid Battles to participate in, and things to just uncover. So far, most of my time with the game has been spent running around to see what new Mon I’d find. The area is a bit small, but there’s so much to see that it feels a lot bigger.

Camping. There’s something so charming about sitting down and seeing all my Mons walk around and interact with each other. Calling one or two over to talk to them and play fetch. Enjoying curry together. It’s so cozy and comfy, and honestly the only thing that would’ve made it better was if they kept actual patting in (but honestly, that’s such a minor thing compared to what all they did add). But as it is, it adds such a nice, relaxing atmosphere to the game.

Hop. Lots of folks say that he’s Hau 2.0 (and if we’re talking about a tendency to interrupt the story with cutscenes, yes he is (more on that later)), but I disagree. Where Hau was easygoing to the point of aloofness, Hop is driven and determined. He pushes himself and the player character to their limits, trying to become greater than everyone else and make a name for himself. So strangely enough, Hop shares a lot in common with Blue: aggressively pushing himself and the player forward. Only difference is that Hop tries to be polite about it. I’m interested to see where he ends up.

Leon. Yeah, I’m not beating around the bush here, he’s handsome. Hot dang. Bravo. And even though I know it’s cool to hate on the fact that he uses a Charizard as his ace, the fact that he absolutely adores his Charizard is something I can respect.

What I Dislike:

The old Mons’ animations. Yes, it turns out that they lied about the remade models (a AAA company lying? shocking!). But I was hoping they would’ve updated more of the animations like the other excuse they’d had for cutting Mons. Honestly, I think I saw just one new animation, and even then I don’t know if it’s genuinely new or new to me (Nuzleaf’s Tackle animation is different than I remember). The rest of it is the same old, same old. And it makes the old Mons stand out from the new ones, and not necessarily in a good way.

CUTSCENES. OH MY GOSH NO PLEASE. WHY. Why did Gamefreak decide to bring back the cutscene-heavy storytelling from Gen 7? Nobody liked getting stopped constantly to read pages of text. NOBODY. LIKED. IT. And yet, here it is again. And this time, if the spoilers I read are to believe, the story doesn’t go down dark corridors like Gen 7 did. Heck, if those spoilers are right, the story doesn’t go anywhere (can’t confirm until I’ve beaten the game myself, so I’ll probably talk more than that in another review)! So why these cutscenes?!

Dynamaxing. When I was fighting the Dynamaxed Eldegoss during the first gym, and she used a move that did huge damage, added Grassy Terrain and healing to everyone on the floor, and did that several times in a row...the thought popped into my head, “Wow, this is stupid.” How is what I just described more balanced than Mega Evolutions or Z-Moves? Because it’s only three turns? And why is the sound effect SO LOUD when they Dynamax? Genuinely, every raid battle that I did, I’d get jumpscared by the Dynamax’d Mon’s cry. Honestly, instead of adding a new gimmick every 3D gen, they should’ve chosen one and stuck with it. Improved on it. Not replaced it. And especially not replaced it with this. (As implied earlier though, Giga forms are neat...would’ve made great mega evolutions, oh but what do I know)

Music. Now, usually when I play handheld games, I’ll listen to music on my computer. But for the heck of it, I decided to listen to this game’s music. And it’s...well, it’s no Splatoon 2 soundtrack, that’s for damn sure. A lot of it is this really bland and forgettable trance beat, or it’s a calliope of sound effects mixed in with the music (case in point: the music that plays when Zacian meets you in the forest). I know that Toby Fox did a song for the game, and hearing the song it’s honestly the best song in the game and he should’ve just done the whole soundtrack.

Pop-in. The draw distance is a bit weird, and NPCs will just pop into place once you get close enough. This can get a little distracting, especially if you’re like me and your reaction to pop-in is to go back and forth and watch them appear and disappear over and over. To be blunt, though, pop-in is a problem many beloved Switch games have (I’ve seen it several times while playing Breath of the Wild), but I suppose it’s still worth mentioning.

Also, you can’t actually pat any of your Pokemon anymore and Rotomdex is no longer a character that you interact with it’s just a phone.

And there’s other things in the game that aren’t a problem now but who knows what will happen later on (story-related issues, Exp. Share, long-term Y-Comm usage, etc), but I guess that’s a ramble for another time.

As it stands so far, Pokemon Sword is a fun game. It is no Sonic 06. It is no Breath of the Wild. It is Pokemon. It is nice. It is fun. It is better than the entirety of Gen 7 in my humble opinion. I enjoy it. I think it’s a nice looking game, and it’s a nice time playing it. And at the end of the day, that’s why I play Pokemon. To have a nice, fun time with virtual critters.

#sci plays vidyagaems #fluffly pokey mons #gen 8 spoilers #this is the most in-depth review i have written for anything in awhile

0 notes

markoberposts · 5 years

Text

Love Island

Something good has been happening concerning the reality show Love Island on CBS this Summer. Thanks perhaps to the quality of the initial selection of involved participants in this show, it's developed an unexpected quality to it that's much more on the positive side of things. For the sake of contrast, the prior show of this sort, Paradise Hotel on FOX, had ended up being more about the prize money for most of the contestants, with this usually being what people would concentrate on when figuring out how to conduct themselves...to try to win the $250,000 stated prize at the end. However, although mentioned briefly about at the beginning of this show Love Island concerning there being an apparent $100,000 prize at the end, this never seems to be what any of the contestants either think about or mention about. It seems that instead of this, they're actually focused--virtually all of them it seems--on both finding relationships and forming truly respectful friendships with each other, which to me is a very positive, unexpected, and great thing to have happened.

And perhaps one of the biggest reasons for this might be the clever way that the show has set things up physically. First of all, they're all on the very romantic island of Fiji sleeping and living together in what appears to be a single, large, mostly-open area containing several large beds together that are only slightly separated from each other that, although requiring coupling up with each other within them, nevertheless foster more of an overall family type of environment than a setting for people to have sex in. So, very surprisingly to me (with my somewhat older age perhaps), these forced couples merely end up spooning and kissing together with each other rather than having sex. You would think otherwise, but this seems to be the case because they all talk about everything with each other, and discussions about sleeping with each other always fall short of sex having ended up being what's been happening. They sometimes do kiss with each other, but typically this seems to be the extent of it, especially with the cameras always surveilling them including with night vision and even in their bathrooms...24 hours a day every day.

But this was not the case on the prior show Paradise Hotel, where they actually each had somewhat more private rooms with each other as forced couples and did--as a result--occasionally end up having sex with each other. But with the way that it's become more of a communal type thing with their all sleeping together within this show Love Island, it's ended up nicely instead fostering much more of a family-type of environment where sex has rarely if ever occurred, and each of the contestants has been focusing more on forming honest relationships and finding partners that they are truly compatible with than on either having sex or working toward winning the alleged prize money at the end...which I'm starting to even wonder about because of it never being mentioned by anyone anymore--not the contestants nor the show--for weeks now.

So I am very happy about this fact, being that it has honestly become little if anything about being a competition with each other and much more instead about being a group of sincere, respectful, newly-formed friends all trying to work together with each other to become the happiest that they all can be. And the emotions that they feel for each other are all very genuine, with each of them feeling greatly pained whenever they end up losing some of their group off of the island, which basically makes it seem more like the hostess who has to do this to them--eliminate some of them each week--is more like some type of a monster who they've come to truly fear whenever she's had to show up on the island at least once a week to do the producer's dirty deeds!

So the format of this show has simply ended up being rather amazing, with it instead having truly ended up being a way for people--albeit a lucky few really good-looking ones--to come on it and have a way to instantly find and make new powerful friendships for life, if not even also picking up a genuine partner as well that may end up eventually becoming their chosen mate for life. And anyone can tell just by watching this program that each of these people is going to think back on this time in their life on this special island on this show as honestly one of the best and most memorable times of their life. So if they haven't yet learned to really appreciate it as such due to their relative youth, then they really would be wise to do so because it truly will become fondly remembered for the rest of their lives likely by each of them as one of their greatest and most unique experiences that they've ever had.

And I'm sure that the friendships formed on this show with each other will become lasting ones that will continue on for most of them for a very long time to come. In fact, once they've left the show and it is completely over and done with, they'll be wishing they could go back to it probably for the rest of their lives, being that it is such a both unique and special opportunity for each one of them that will most likely never happen again within their remaining lifetimes. And perhaps many of them are somewhat aware of this fact on a deep inner level, which is why they're becoming so both emotional and attached to each other...more so than what I've seen in other reality television shows so far (although I have to admit that I don't watch many). In fact, even the necessarily-mean female host of the show who has to do the dirty work of sending people home each week and trying to seem like she doesn't feel bad for doing so, nevertheless lets her feelings occasionally slip through a tiny bit and does show us in rare moments that the great spirit of love between the contestants on this show is even affecting her as well, making it even hard for her to see them being kicked off of the island.

So in a sense, this show has perhaps brought back the days of the "hippies" with their all living together within a communal setting and all feeling genuine love and respect for each other...so much so, in fact, that whenever any of the contestants do get kicked off of the island, it really does make all of them quite sad and even at times sick over it. Still, though, the bottom line for this show has honestly been living up to its name, with all of those who visit the island actually finding it to present for them a very strong chance of finding true love there, with a number of strong bonds actually forming between either newly-formed couples or if not this, then minimally from all of the newly-formed friendships with each other. So I would be very surprised if most of those who participate in the show as contestants don't end up staying in touch with each other long after the show has ended, with their forever after likely referring to each other as their "Love Island" family, probably for the rest of their lives to come. :)

#Love Island #surprising #positive

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years

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7 Psychological Effects That Rule Your Whole Life

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7 Psychological Effects That Rule Your Whole Life

Were you aware you might promote a $20 invoice for ten instances its price or then a character you are physically drawn to will not be as sensible and humorous as you believe these things are referred to as cognitive biases and they rule your whole lifestyles with out you even figuring out it listed here are one of the most most outstanding ones beginning with number 7 phenomenon of Max bazerman how rough would it’s to take 20 bucks from an mba student in fact professor max bazerman proves it’s handy peasy in 2010 he first conducted an scan at his type the place he geared up a simple auction he would supply a $20 invoice to the pupil who can pay essentially the most for it the bidding began at $1 the only principles of the public sale the place that bids would best go up by using $1 no less no extra and that the 2d-excellent bidder would pay the entire sum of their bid to the professor so shall we say the quality bid used to be $18 then the 2d-great can be 17 dollars the one who paid $18 would receive the public sale bill and win 2 bucks well the one who bid 17 would simply pay the cash and acquire nothing easy right good at first the public sale went as planned however the stakes rose pretty rapid and quickly the bids reached the nominal value of $20 a pause ensued after which someone bid 21 students started laughing at that however quite the bidding did not stop the auction was turned truly to farce at this factor endured until the students in the end had enough the $20 invoice was offered for 200 $four the overall sum the professor gained totaled $387 as bazerman explained after the tip of the auction it was once the traditional snapshot for any business man or woman he conducted the equal scan with CEOs of important corporations and nonetheless managed to sell the 20 bucks above their face price it all boils all the way down to the truth that no person needs to be the 2nd bidder and lose cash without winning whatever again so the auction continues unless anybody sees the fallacy and decides to discontinue the race many times as you will find it occurs much too late quantity six decoy effect shall we say you’re at an electronics store determining a new SD card for your digicam you see two choices before you one has the potential of 64gb and fees $15 and the other has a storage space of 128gb however fees $30 there is an equal threat of you deciding on either of them some will select greater ability whilst others will go for lessen price which one would you decide upon by the way let me know down in the comments ok and now a third option seems this SD card has the ability of ninety six GB which is greater than the first but minimize than the 2nd but its fee is greater than both it can be $35 this option is known as a decoy and its function is to make the pricier 2nd SD card more favorable within the eyes of consumers indeed while you seem at all three options you without a doubt do not forget handiest the primary two for the reason that the 1/3 one is worse than both of them nonetheless you now look on the 128gb card from an extra perspective it is cheaper than the 96 GB one and as extra cupboard space making it better in all respects the sixty four GB card though is best less expensive than the ninety six GB one but its ability is decrease it can be variety of obvious that you would choose the excellent one proper good advertising and marketing expert obtained you there the only motive why there may be this 0.33 option in the marketplace is to create this decoy to make you buy a more costly product insidious number 5 halo influence adequate talk about cash let’s switch to other concerns ever inspiration how in movies and cartoons excellent characters are often depicted as lovely and appealing to the eye at the same time evil baddies mainly have some repugnant facets like crooked tooth warts or whatever like that this is how our person choice of good and bad character is shaved you can also not become aware of this but when you see an appealing character you tend to magnify their good qualities of persona and that is the gist of the halo outcomes however there’s more to it than that it’s now not only about the bodily features however the overall affect a character makes if she or he is great and charming we usually lengthen these characteristics so everything there is to that individual and our mind attracts them also as sensible funny and witty hmm now that i do know this i will mostly believe my judgment of men and women slightly less oh good quantity four framing influence suppose you’re provided with the alternative of two scientific therapies for some disorder let’s not go into particulars right here the package deal insert for the primary one says it has 80% effectiveness against the sickness at the same time the second one is described as having 20% chance of failure for those who look closely at each of them you’ll be able to conveniently see that they are most likely similar like the equal event however according to data the sizeable majority of individuals would prefer the first treatment over the 2d that is what the framing effect is ready we are likely to select an alternative that is described in a constructive manner even supposing the one other choice is surely the identical individuals will doubtless put out of your mind it in view that it’s been given a terrible description remember the 20% hazard of failure that’s it and the effect clearly applies to something politicians and advertising and marketing experts alike use it so much in their campaigns so pay awareness to the deeper sense no longer the words that body it quantity three phantasm of manage this cognitive bias is on the whole person who describes human nature at high-quality so inform me first when is there a larger danger of entering a avenue accident when you’re using a vehicle or when anybody else is on the wheel and you’re just a passenger hold forth within the feedback i will let you know what the statisticians say about it in a minute in the meantime hear this professor Ellen Langer performed a number of studies to study the perceived control over a crisis considered one of them worried a lottery her subjects had been both given tickets at random or obtained to decide upon their own none of them knew the successful combinations in order that they could not almost certainly comprehend which tickets would have a greater hazard of payoff still the individuals were allowed to trade their tickets to take a look at and win more cash consequently professor Langer saw that humans who chose their possess tickets have been extra reluctant to phase with them also the tickets with familiar symbols were less normally traded than ones bearing specific unfamiliar indicators on high of that despite the fact that the chances were higher subjects with tickets they’d chosen themselves were much less more likely to trade them this suggests that despite the fact that the drawback is utterly random folks tend to believe their choice by hook or by crook influences the outcome we prefer to be in control of the whole lot do not we well I promise to let you know the information for the automobile accident so right here it is the mammoth majority of drivers think that the chances of them getting into one are a lot curb if they’re driving than if they’re using as passengers such self assurance that used to be it authentic for you to give me a like if that was once number two dr.Fox outcomes do not get stressed by the title it is not after any healthcare professional in fact rather the reverse the scan that gave this effect its name was once carried out in 1970 when two speakers gave lectures to an audience of proficient psychiatrists and psychologists the topic was chosen notably in order that not one of the trainees knew some thing about it for the scan to be valid the trap was that some of the lecturers was once a real scientist while the opposite was once an actor Michael Fox below the alias of dr. Myron L Fox an Albert Einstein school of medication graduate when each the precise scientist and the actor gave the lecture in a boring method the students gave higher suggestions to the true lecturer and perform higher on the scan but when they have been both requested to gift the fabric in a more animated manner joking and fascinating the viewers dr.Fox was once rated as extremely because the genuine professor additionally the lecture was once intentionally stuffed with double-speak contradictory statements and downright nonsense but regardless of all that the student spoke very incredibly of dr. Fox’s professionalism and that’s what’s so disturbing about the whole outcome the positive perspective and liveliness of the actor thoroughly fooled a entire audience of particularly trained experts if you happen to ever heard motivational speakers and bought stimulated through their recommendations good possibilities are you’ve got additionally skilled the dr.Foxx result Congrats quantity one spotlight result when you’ve ever felt self-conscious leaving your condo in exceptional socks annoying that all people would laugh and point fingers at you you will have emerge as a sufferer of the spotlight outcomes it is a psychological bias that clearly makes you consider too much of yourself you are the core of your own world that’s for certain nobody lives your existence for you and that’s why you notice every little element in yourself and you naturally tend to suppose that each person else can even see that strange new mole on your forearm or that your nails are not correctly manicured but let’s be sincere how probably do you discover such tiny matters in others my bet is almost under no circumstances that’s considering the fact that every person’s too concerned with themselves to pay a lot awareness to different individuals however don’t get all upset about this it is a greatly fashioned influence just are trying not to believe too much of your own significance in the lifetime of whole strangers so which of those effects have you ever skilled in your own let me recognize down within the feedback in case you learn some thing new at present then supply this video a like and share it with a buddy but hello don’t go anywhere just but we now have over two thousand cool videos so that you can verify out all you need to do is select the left or proper video click on on it and experience keep on the intense side of existence you

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