#snelbz x the lady of death collab

[snelbz]

Bros {Nessian}

Modern AU. So much fluff you’ll get a cavity.

Co-written with @theladyofdeath.

WC: 3,261

Based on the following “prompt”:

She missed the way he used to manhandle her.

Mother’s tits, he was a monster in bed. Crazed, nearly animalistic, completely unhinged, and she had loved it. From the first time they’d slept together, Nesta was hooked. She couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stop the throbbing between her thighs the moment he stepped into the room. 

He fucked like a god. Before him, she was convinced she knew what good sex was. It was clear after he came into her life that she had never truly orgasmed before. Those little things she used to claim as orgasms were nothing, miniscule, complete and utter jokes compared to what he did to her. 

Yeah. They’d had a hell of a sex life. 

But that was before he knocked her up. 

It had been six weeks since their baby had been born.

It had been six weeks since they’d had sex.

The soft cry from the bouncer beside the couch had Nesta sitting up tall. She had nearly fallen asleep, dreaming of all the lustful things her boyfriend used to do to her before she had squeezed a baby out of her lady bits.

As she picked up their son, Nesta settled onto the couch and pat him lightly on the back as she cradled him. He was beautiful, with his little dark curls and hazel eyes. He looked just like his father.

Said father was back at work, his company only allowing two weeks for new fathers to adjust to parenthood, while Nesta had another six weeks to spend at home with their boy. Her sisters often stopped by, if they had time off during the day, but both of them were busy today as well.

She’d learned the difference between Calum’s wet and hungry cries over the last couple of weeks and knew that the wobbling that accompanied his current wail meant it was time to eat.

Her enormous, aching breasts confirmed that.

As Calum latched and began to feed, Nesta sighed.

She was content with her life, was beyond in love with Calum and Cassian. She was happy with where she’d ended up, but that didn’t mean she didn’t sometimes miss the way their life had been before they’d unexpectedly gotten pregnant with Calum.

It was difficult to explain.

When one becomes unexpectedly pregnant, everything happens so quickly. One day, Nesta woke up with no responsibilities and her own apartment. Now, Nesta was living with Cassian and had so many responsibilities that she often felt like she didn’t have enough hands or time to do everything she had to within a twenty-four hour period. It wasn’t that one was better than the other. She simply just hadn’t had time to catch her breath before her life completely changed.

As Calum drank, Nesta let out a long breath. She smiled down at her newborn, his dark, curly hair a mess and his eyelids drooping. 

He was so cute that it physically made her chest ache. 

“I would spend nine months in misery for you to come out looking like you’re daddy,” she muttered, brushing the wisps of his hair back. 

Calum didn’t seem to mind. Not as long as he was eating. 

Nesta snorted. “You know, when daddy and I started dating—” 

The words faded from her lips as quickly as they had come. Dating. Is that what they were? Dating? He had never really asked her out on a date. Well, he had asked her out on the first date that they had shared…that had ended in sex. Again. And again. And again. 

For months.

That first date that had turned into sex had turned into hanging out and everything had been perfect…but it had just occured to Nesta that they had never defined their relationship. Even once she had become pregnant. Even once she had given birth.

They had never defined their relationship. 

Was Cassian even her boyfriend?

He’d never introduced her as his girlfriend, just as Nesta. She’d never thought anything about it, since she had been very clearly carrying his child, so it hadn’t needed to be stated but…

She never called him her boyfriend either, but she never had any reason to. It wasn’t like they went out very often. Since Cassian went back to work, he’d stop and pick up dinner on the way home and they’d eat and one of them would pass out.

As Calum finished eating, she pulled the top of her tank top back up and stood, groaning softly. Six weeks and she still didn’t feel like herself, but now not only did her body feel out of sorts, her head did, too.

If they weren’t in a relationship, what were they? Co-parents? Roommates? Was Calum their third roommate in his mind?

As she burped and changed her son’s diaper, Nesta’s mind was going a thousand miles a minute. She was overthinking things, she had to be. No, she and Cassian hadn’t been together long, but that didn’t matter. She cared about him, she loved him…and she suddenly realized that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever told him that. He’d sure as hell never told her, but…

With a clean diaper and full belly, Calum was asleep before Nesta even reached the bassinet. After gently laying him down, she sat down on their bed, praying the boxsprings wouldn’t squeak and wake him. Laying down on her side, she watched him sleep, wondering if she had interpreted the last year completely wrong.

The sound of the bathroom door snicking shut woke Nesta and she sat up and looked around. It had only been about an hour since she’d fed Calum and dozed off, but that was long enough for Cassian to make it home from work. She could hear him moving around behind the closed door and her earlier worries slammed into her again.

As her body filled with anxiety, she wondered how pitiful it would be to flee. She had never been good with confrontation. Especially when there wasn’t even confrontation to be had.

She was being ridiculous.

She knew she was being ridiculous. 

Yet, she couldn’t shake her thoughts that ran wild.

The door to the bathroom opened and Cassian stepped into the room. His chest was bare and his sweatpants were slung low on his hips. He only took a step into the room before he saw she was awake and gave her a small smile.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Nesta replied, even though it was an obvious lie. Calum was still sound asleep in his bassinet. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” he said, shrugging as he approached the bed as quietly as possible. He set down quietly, carefully shifting his weight to avoid any squeaking or creaking from the mattress. “Yours?”

Nesta hesitated. “Fine.”

It was that damned hesitation that made Cassian frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied. “I’m tired.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. She was tired. Exhausted. It was one of the perks of motherhood. 

“What else?” He turned towards her, facing her on the mattress.

“I said nothing,” she snapped and guessed it was louder than she meant for it to be, since Calum’s low whimper at being suddenly awoken turned into a cry.

It didn’t matter how quick Nesta tried to be. She was still in too much pain and Cassian wasn’t healing from a thirty-seven hour labor. He was there, scooping Calum up before Nesta could even get off the bed, gently rocking the newborn as their sleep training classes had instructed them to. Shushing him softly, Cassian’s eyes bounced between Nesta and their son. “It’s okay, buddy,” he crooned, resting him against his bare chest.

The cries quieted to discontented grunts and Cassian asked, “Is he hungry?”

Nesta shook her head as she settled back down onto the mattress. “He shouldn’t be. He only ate an hour ago.”

Leaning down, Cassian laid the baby on the bed and checked his diaper. Sure enough, the stripe was bright blue. After he was clean and dry, he grabbed the discarded pacifier out of the bassinet and popped it into Calum’s mouth. After only a minute, he was snoozing again and Cassian laid him back down.

“There,” he said, sighing as he sat down next to Nesta. He gave her a smile and rested a hand on her knee. “Now what’s wrong?”

Nesta took a deep breath. “We don’t have sex anymore.”

Cassian blinked. He opened his mouth to reply then closed it. Finally, he said, ��Nesta, you had a baby six weeks ago.”

As if she wasn’t aware.

“I know I did,” she replied, dropping her head into her hands. “I know, and I know that’s why it’s been so long, but we just…” She looked up at him and he wasn’t expecting her eyes to be filled with tears. “We used to have so much sex.”

Again, Cassian was stunned into silence. “You…want to have sex?”

“Yes. No.” Nesta buried her face into her hands again. “I don’t know.”

“Nesta, look at me.” She didn’t move, so Cassian put his finger under her chin and tilted her face up to his. “What is going on?”

“What are we?”

The words burst out of her before she could stop them.

Cassian huffed a laugh but puzzlement lingered in his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Me and you,” she said, trying to keep her voice down but growing frustrated. “We went on one date then we fucked and then we just kept hanging out and having more sex until I got pregnant, and now we live together with a baby. But, is that all we are? Am I your baby mama? Am I your girlfriend? Because that sure as hell was never established.” A tear had fallen down her cheek that she angrily wiped away as the words rushed out of her. “So, yeah, what are we?”

Cassian just stared at her. “Are you serious?”

Nesta tried to keep her frustration in check. “Yes.”

An eyebrow arched as he met her eye. “We’re bros, Nes.”

Nesta’s jaw locked as she pushed herself off the bed, mumbling about how he couldn’t even have a serious conversation before she hobbled out of the bedroom.

She could hear him groaning as the bed creaked, and then he was in the hallway behind her. Yet, he was laughing as he said, “I’m just kidding—”

“I’m not,” she said, and those tears returned as she spun around to face him. 

His smile faltered as he beheld her expression. With a sigh, he stepped toward her and wiped away her falling tears. “You’ve seriously been sitting around thinking about this all day?”

“Not all day,” she corrected, crossing her arms. “I don’t think about you every minute you’re gone.”

But she did think about him most of the time.

That light returned to his eyes and oh, he knew. 

As soon as the light came, it faded, his own thoughts beginning to run wild. “Have I done something lately to make you doubt how much you mean to me?” 

“No—”

“I haven’t meant to be distant,” he went on, frowning. “I was just giving you space until you were ready to have sex again.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I never want you to feel pressured, like I need it. I mean, I like it. I think I’ve made that clear. But, I don’t want you doing something you’re not ready for just because I want to.” When his hand fell back to his side, he was still frowning. “I haven’t been avoiding you or anything, have I? I know having Cal kind of takes us away from having any time for the two of us, but I still try to show you that I care.”

And he did. 

All the time.

With little kisses and the way he held her at night, well into the morning. He’d tell her how beautiful she looked every day, even though she knew that she looked like a hot mess. 

“I’m sorry if I haven’t done a good job at that,” he finished.

“You have,” she replied, sniffling. “It’s just my stupid hormones and —”

Cassian stepped forward, cupping her face in his hands and kissed her lightly. “Your hormones aren’t stupid, but they are a bit on the wild side right now.” He rested his forehead against hers. “What brought this on?”

She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I was telling Calum about when we started dating except I realized we don’t have an anniversary and that we never made things official.”

Cassian stared down at her. “Yes, we did and yes, we do.”

She shook her head, pushing on his chest to back up and see his face. “You asked me out after Feyre and Rhysand’s housewarming party. We went to dinner that weekend and hooked up. Then we just kept hooking up until I got pregnant.”

As she listed the events leading up to the beginning of their relationship, she ticked them off on her fingers one by one.

His eyebrows were furrowed. “Remember the night you came over after I got off work and I ordered Maggiano’s and we forgot to eat it because we ended up fucking on the couch?”

Blinking, Nesta could vaguely pull the night from her memories. “Somewhat.”

Cassian was smirking. “I asked you to be my girlfriend while we were having sex.”

Nesta pursed her lips. “Seriously, Cass? It doesn’t count if you ask while we’re having sex! Besides, we were already tipsy. That night’s a little blurry.”

“I remember it,” he promised, and kissed her again. “I remember you saying yes while I pounded into you again and again and again…” His words trailed off with every touch of his lips against the side of her neck. 

“Romantic,” Nesta mumbled, even as her head fell to the side, eyes falling shut as his mouth roamed. 

“Maybe not,” he agreed with a huff of laughter. He leaned back to meet her gaze. “Should I ask again in a more romantic way?”

“Depends,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously. “How would you ask?”

“Hmm.” His arms around her tightened as he pretended to think. “For one, I’d keep it in my pants until you said yes.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Charming.”

He grinned in agreement. “I’d also take you somewhere nice. Nice scenery. Sunset.”

Nesta snorted. “Cliché.”

Cassian chuckled. “Well, I went for the opposite of cliché the first time and you completely forgot about it.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Asking during sex is also cliché . And completely ridiculous.”

“Stubborn woman,” he said, shaking his head. “Then how about you tell me how you’d like to be asked, considering I apparently have no fucking clue what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not going to tell you how to ask me to be your girlfriend,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and heading for the kitchen.

“What if I told you how much I loved you?”

Cassian’s words made her stop in her tracks. She froze where she stood, turning to look at him.

“What if I told you what an amazing mother you are? About how I was in awe of your strength in the delivery room, your perseverance and sheer will?” His eyes were soft as he walked towards her and she sniffled once, trying to convince herself she was done crying. As he paused in front of her, she knew it was a futile effort. “Nes, when you told me you were pregnant, I was scared shitless, I won’t lie. But I also was so excited. Cause I knew it meant I got to keep you forever.”

The soft sob that left Nesta wasn’t a sound of a breaking, it was acceptance and hope.

“I love you,” he whispered, framing her face and tracing her bottom lip with his thumb, “and I’m a dumbass for not telling you sooner. You’re my best friend and my girlfriend and the love of my life and the mother of my son. And yeah, you’re my bro, too.”

Nesta was laughing, even as tears continued to stream down her face. “I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had in her tired body. His arms snaked around her waist and she pulled back enough to breathe, “But I’m not your bro.”

“Oh, you’re my bro,” he said, wide grin spreading. “And I can’t wait to remind you while I’m inside you.”

Rolling her eyes, Nesta kissed him one last time before continuing into the kitchen. “So when is it?”

Cassian followed after her, leaning a hip in the counter as she opened the fridge. “When is what?”

She leveled him with a look. “Our anniversary.”

“Oh.” Cassian turned and opened the cupboard, pulling out the jar of peanut butter. “October eleventh.”

It was quiet as Cassian unscrewed the lid and put a spoonful directly into his mouth, but then she asked, “The eleventh?”

He nodded, unable to speak, peanut butter coating his entire mouth as he looked in the cupboard for—

“You mean it’s today?”

Cassian dropped the spoon. His eyes found the calendar Nesta kept hanging on the wall.

Sure enough, it was the eleventh.

Turning towards Nesta, he saw that her blue eyes were blazing. “You forgot our anniversary?”

He’d grabbed a water bottle and cracked the lid draining half of it. Once he could speak again, he said, “You didn’t even know we had an anniversary until three minutes ago! You forgot I even asked you!”

Nesta scoffed. “Yeah, so I have an excuse. You don’t. You forgot our anniversary.” 

He stared at her, dumbfounded. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“And if I’m not, Cass?” She asked, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms. “If I’m not shitting you?” His eyes narrowed at the mischievous glint in her eyes. “I expect flowers. Maybe a card. A little seduction. It’s our anniversary for the Mother’s sake.”

“Insufferable,” he began, shaking his head. “You’re insufferable.”

“I’m going to take a nap,” Nesta announced, fiddling with the top of the vitamin water she had pulled out of the fridge. “Wake me when—”

Peanut butter long forgotten, Cassian caught Nesta’s hand as she strode passed him and pulled her back. His mouth found hers and she sank into him. There was something about kissing Cassian that felt like the first time, every time.

He was captivating. He had been the first time she had kissed him, and he was now. In the middle of the kitchen, Nesta’s arms went around his neck.

After a minute, she pulled away and whispered, “You taste like peanut butter.”

He laughed and she could feel the deep rumble in her own chest. “It’s a good thing you love peanut butter then.” Leaning down, he brushed his lips against hers one more time. “I’m sorry I forgot our anniversary. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t realize we had an anniversary.” She buried her face in his chest. “I’m the worst girlfriend ever.”

“The best,” he corrected, making sure she was looking at him, that she saw the sincerity in his eyes. “The best girlfriend and the best mommy.”

Despite the fact that it was their anniversary, despite that Nesta had said she wanted romance and seduction, they returned to their room and fell asleep, in their bed, lying in each other’s arms.

At least until their newborn woke them up again.

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Seven}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

Note: This chapter is NSFW. 18+.

•••

The ride to Lorcan’s was filled with easy conversation and Elide’s stomach was hurting from how hard she was laughing as Lorcan regaled her with stories from his youth.

“How did you even end up naked?” She asked, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes after a particular hilarious story of a camping trip that ended with poison ivy in a very personal area.

“We were sixteen and had three cases of beer,” Lorcan laughed, pulling into his driveway and raising the garage door. “There’s no telling how or why I was naked, I was plastered before the sun went down.”

Elide had been so focused on him that she hadn’t noticed they’d left the hustle and bustle of the city. The streets were lined with trees and there were flowers out front. She wondered if he had planted them himself and once again thought of him on his hands and knees in the dirt, planting the flowers so lovingly into the ground. The thought made her smile. “The true crime of underage drinking,” Elide agreed. 

His laughter continued as he pulled into his garage and cut the engine. She liked his deep laughter. It did things to her mind, her body, her heart that were purely unfathomable.

Lorcan pushed open his door and hopped out only to come around to Elide’s and open hers. He held out his hand and she took it, the gesture so pure and gentlemanly that it had her cheeks turning the softest shade of pink. 

He led her inside and she wasn’t sure what she had been expecting but it certainly hadn’t been the clean, modern home she entered. It was simple, but she could tell that he took good care of and put thought into his space.

From the garage, they entered the kitchen and it was massive. An island sat in the middle of it, the white countertops immaculate and bright under the hanging lights. The hardwood floors felt cool beneath her feet when she kicked off her heels. Lorcan kicked his boots off beside her shoes and they were the only things that looked out of place, as much as she could see. 

“You’re very…” Elide began, and Lorcan looked at her with a raised brow as he locked the garage door behind them. “Clean,” she finished, at last.

Lorcan let out a loose laugh as he said, “Yeah, I suppose I am. Why do I have a feeling that that surprises you?”

“I…don’t know,” she laughed, leaning against the counter as he crossed to the fridge and pulled out a beer. “I guess the hair? It can be pretty messy somedays.”

He popped the top and took a drink, running a hand through the waving strands. “At least I brushed it today,” he chuckled. “Rowan should be honored.”

Elide shook her head, laughing softly as she walked around the kitchen, looking around. “It’s also probably that you’re a bachelor. Bachelors are perpetually dirty.”

“Bachelor?” He nearly choked on his drink. “I’ve never been referred to as a bachelor in my entire life.”

“You’re single, right?” She asked, stopping to turn and look at him.

He raised an eyebrow, setting his beer down and giving her his undivided attention. “Yeah.”

“And you’ve never been married?”

The question was not what Lorcan had expected. “Definitely not.”

Elide came back around the island, leaning back against it. “Then, by definition, you’re a bachelor.”

“Can’t argue with that logic,” he said and Elide could hear the humor in his words. “Can I get you a drink? I think I’ve got a box of wine in the back of the fridge.”

“I’ll have a beer,” she replied, nodding towards the can in his hand.

Lorcan stared at her. “Whiskey and beer? You’re perfect.”

Shaking her head, Elide blushed. “No, I’m not, you’re ridiculous.”

He turned and retrieved a beer for her from the fridge. “If you tell me that you like your steak medium-rare, I swear I’m getting on one knee right now.”

Elide sucked in her bottom lip to keep from laughing. Yes, it was how she liked her steak, and he knew it from the moment he turned around, cold beer in hand. He took one look at her and shook his head as he repeated, “Perfect.”

“I can assure you I’m far from it,” she said, but her voice had gone quiet as her heart beat just a little bit faster than it had before. He popped the top off her bottle before sliding it across the island. Elide wrapped her trembling fingers around the cool glass. “I swear too much, overthink everything, and I’m pretty sure I snore.”

Lorcan grinned as he took off his jacket and dropped it on the island beside him. “A filthy mouth only adds to your beauty.” Elide laughed as she took a drink. “And overthinking makes you human,” he added. “As for snoring…yeah, that’s unfortunate.”

She walked around the island just to nudge him in the shoulder with a poorly made fist, but Lorcan took the opportunity to grab her by the waist and meet her mouth with his.

She tasted the bitterness of his drink on his tongue as it swept between her lips. She was right back in that garden getting lost in him, once again.

When he broke that kiss apart, she wished he hadn’t, but then he asked, “Tired?”

Elide shook her head.

He chuckled. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure,” she breathed, although her thoughts were running wild with all the things she would rather be doing with him. 

His hands fell from her body and she instantly wished he’d left them where they had been. “I’m going to change. Want something a little more comfortable to wear for the night?”

The thought of putting on his clothes made a wild sensation form in the pit of her stomach. “Please.”

“Alright,” he said, leading her into the living room. He dropped her hand as he backed up towards the stairs. “I’ll be right back. Pick a movie, make yourself at home, just don’t go anywhere.”

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Elide nodded. No way in hell was she going anywhere. “I’ll be right here.”

“Good.” He paused at the bottom of the stairs, watching her. He swallowed and then repeated, “Be right back.”

She watched as he jogged up the stairs and then let her eyes take in the rest of his home. The living room was comfortable, a large, black sectional taking up nearly half the space of the room, facing the largest television she’d ever seen outside of a sports bar. She could imagine Lorcan, Rowan and their cadre of friends posted up here on Sunday afternoons, watching football and drinking beer. The thought made her smile a little more than she wanted to admit. Along the walls, she found pictures from what seemed to be dozens of misadventures. She paused when she saw one of a poorly constructed tent and two young men, who she couldn’t mistake for anyone but Lorcan and Rowan. As she looked at the photo, she idly wondered if that was the camping trip with the unfortunate poison ivy incident, or if it was just one of many. Camping was one of the many normal things she’d never had a chance to do as a teenager. Her leash had been far too short for those kinds of adventures.

Forcing her thoughts from her past, she kept going, finding pictures from sporting events and parties and graduations. Rowan was present in all of them, as were two young women Elide didn’t recognize from the party earlier. She doubted she would’ve, since there were photos where Lorcan or Rowan had a protective arm around their shoulders or a casual grip on their hand.

There was a bookshelf next to the window that caught Elide’s eye and she glanced through the books, impressed by the sheer variety he had. One snagged her attention though, tall and skinny, with no author or title. Just a name and a year.

Doranelle Prep, 2009

Grinning like a fool, Elide reached for the yearbook, flipping it open. It took her a minute, doing some mental math based on how old she knew Lorcan was, but she was able to locate the freshman easily.

There he was, the same surly expression on his face then that he’d perfected now. His hair was shorter, but just as messy, and Elide couldn’t get over how…adorable he looked.

“You better at least make fun of Rowan’s braces if you're going to snoop through old yearbooks.”

There hadn’t been any noise in the stairs and Elide jumped as Lorcan was suddenly next to her, a bundle of clothes in his hands. She snapped the yearbook shut, clearing her throat, knowing her cheeks were on fire. “I wasn’t snooping, you told me to make myself at home.”

“Has anyone ever told you how cute you are when you’re embarrassed?” Lorcan asked, one side of his mouth lifting in a dangerous smirk.

“You’re ridiculous,” Elide chuckled, repeating her words from earlier, looking down at the yearbook clutched in her arms.

Lorcan tilted her chin up, forcing her to look up into his eyes. He leaned down, his lips a hair's breadth from hers. “I’ve been called worse.”

She wanted him, gods, she’d never wanted anyone more than she wanted Lorcan, but she’d rushed into bed with Roland and that decision had led to the one that had nearly destroyed her. Lorcan wouldn't hurt her, she knew that, but it was hard to convince her head of that.

As if he could sense the turmoil in her head, he stepped back, offering her the clothes he’d been holding. “Here. You go get changed while I turn a movie on. I’m sure the shorts will be too big, but you might be able to tighten the drawstring.”

After telling her where to find the bathroom on the first floor, Lorcan was flipping through streaming services and Elide slipped off to change. He was right about the shorts, the hem nearly reaching her calves and even tied as tightly as possible, they still hung low and loose on her hips. Fortunately, the shirt swallowed her and the shorts, so she didn’t have to worry about it.

She looked in the mirror and laughed quietly at her reflection. She was comfortable, though, and she had a feeling that Lorcan just wanted to see her in his clothes.

When she made her way back into the living room, Lorcan was sprawled out on the couch and the screen was paused on the opening sequence of The Princess Bride. 

“A fan of the classics?” Elide asked, rounding the couch.

He took one look at her, drowning in his shirt, and smiled, eyes lit with humor. “Cute.” Elide had never blushed so much in her life. “And, hell yeah, one of the best movies ever.”

Elide had to agree. There was something about the humor in The Princess Bride that she never tired of.

She sat next to Lorcan on the couch and he held out his hand to her.

A silent question.

She took it and he pulled her closer to him, between his legs as one arm went behind his head and the other took the remote and pressed play. Elide leaned back against his chest and felt wholly comfortable, perfectly at home. 

He set the remote down and his arm went around her waist. Her hand slid into his, their fingers intertwining. 

They sat for a moment in comfortable silence as the movie began. Elide knew every scene, knew every word, and perhaps that’s why she was paying more attention to the feeling of Lorcan’s heart thumping inside of his chest. She could feel it against her shoulder and it mesmerized her. 

She wondered if he could sense how her own heartbeat reacted. 

When his thumb started brushing up and down over her ribs, it took everything in her to keep from fidgeting, from arching into the light touch. She became very aware of how his thighs pressed around her and how close that thumb was to her chest. His hand spread out over her abdomen, that thumb still languidly stroking, and pulled her tighter against his chest.

Elide could feel the heat of his breath against her ear and she let her head fall back against his shoulder, looking up into his face.

His dark eyes were somehow impossibly darker, his lips parted as he looked down at her. Elide’s gaze lingered on his lips for all of a second before she sat up on her knees, turned and crashed her mouth against his.

Lorcan pulled her down until she was lying on top of him, one of his hands diving into her hair, the other going to the curve of her ass. There was no hesitation in this kiss and Elide was ready for it, for him to kiss her like he should have the moment they met. She wanted it all, wanted him to show her everything those skilled hands and rugged mouth could do.

He groaned into the kiss and Elide opened for him, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, dancing with hers. Pressing a hand to his chest, not daring to break the kiss, Elide adjusted how she was sitting until she straddled his lap. She needed to get as close to him as possible, needed him to be all she could feel, taste, smell—

She gasped, her lips just barely pulling away from his as he shifted his hips, as she felt his hard length between her legs. He hesitated for a moment but Elide didn’t want him thinking he had done anything wrong. No, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was the opposite. He was doing everything so right that she was nearly a pool of mesmerized emotion at his feet. She shifted back onto him, making herself comfortable, feeling that ridiculous length of him beneath his sweatpants. 

Lorcan took her flushed cheeks into his hands and searched her face for any hint that he should stop. Elide showed none, and it was her that leaned back in, taking his bottom lip between her teeth. Lorcan’s arms wrapped around her slim frame and the kiss was anything but gentle.

There was something different about this kiss, something more desperate in the way their lips moved against each other’s. Elide could almost see Lorcan’s restraint growing thin, could feel it in the way he touched her, grabbing and squeezing and taking full possession of her. His hand tightened in her hair, tugging her head back and then his mouth was on her throat. She moaned softly and the sound only urged him on, his teeth dragging down to where her neck met her shoulder.

Elide’s fingers dug into his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath his shirt, and she was powerless to stop herself as her hips jerked in response to his. The groan he made had heat radiating from her core.

She wanted him.

No, she needed him.

Leaning back, Elide gripped the hem of the shirt she wore, his shirt, and started to lift it over her head.

Lorcan’s hand caught her arm.

She looked down at him, both of them panting slightly, pausing.

He swallowed roughly, rubbing his thumb along the inside of her wrist. “We should stop.”

His tone told her that wasn’t at all what he wanted, but she could see the conflict in his eyes. 

“Why?” She breathed, unable to stop the question from coming out of her mouth.

He hesitated, his palm running up her arm and cupping her cheek. “The last thing I want to do is rush you.”

It was chivalrous. He was being a gentleman. Elide appreciated the sentiment.

Even if it was the last thing she wanted.

They stared at one another for a moment, and she wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to stop. She wanted him. She wanted him so desperately that it was physically causing her pain.

But he was being polite.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to take things slow.

Elide nodded, but remained on his lap for another minute. It took everything in her not to rock back and forth, not to regain that friction that had her seeing stars.

Lorcan must’ve sensed that thought because his chest rose and fell just a little bit quicker. His palm still rested against her cheek, its warmth steadying. She couldn’t move, couldn’t convince herself to get off of him, couldn’t stop thinking about how magnificent it had felt to have his mouth exploring her body. Gods, she wanted to know what it felt like when he filled her.

She couldn’t be around him any longer and not beg for him to fuck her senseless. 

“Maybe I should go to bed,” she said, still breathless, and Lorcan’s hand fell from her cheek. He looked a little disappointed, but it quickly vanished. It was hard not to be disappointed. Elide felt it heavily in every inch of her body. 

“You can sleep in my bed,” he said, as Elide slowly inched off of him. She tried not to look down, tried not to see the evidence of how she’d affected, but failed. She looked and had to quickly look away as heat flooded her core, yet again. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Are you sure?” She hesitated to ask, because she wasn’t sure she could be in a bed with him without peeling her clothes off.

“Yeah.” His voice was rough. The sound of it made Elide’s breasts tighten and she had to resist the urge to rub her thighs together. She wondered what that deep groan of his would feel like between her legs. He reached out, grasping her fingers in his. “But trust me, it’s not because I don’t want to.”

Elide had zero doubt of that, the evidence right in front of her. Long and thick and so, so hard—

She had to go upstairs, right now, or she was going to break, and he was right. They probably needed to slow down.

“Okay,” she whispered, her fingers curling in his. “Goodnight.”

She stepped away, letting his hand fall away from hers and backed up towards the stairs.

Lorcan didn’t move, just watched her. His breathing was still uneven. “Goodnight.”

Elide was halfway up the stairs, when she turned. “I have no idea where your bedroom is.”

He laughed, dragging a hand through his unruly hair. Elide wanted to do the same. “First door on the left.”

She nodded, ascending the stairs and followed his instructions. His bedroom door was open, and Elide took in the room.

Dark bedding, dark furniture, dark carpet. Only the light grey walls and decorations had splashes of color here and there, in red art work, pictures, and touches. The bed was massive, unmade, but still inviting. She wanted to get lost in it, get lost in him in it. 

With the lights off, Elide climbed up into his bed. At any other time, she would want to snoop. You found out a lot about a person when it came to their bedroom, and Elide wanted to know everything about Lorcan. Right now, though, she could only think about one thing and it’s what consumed her as she curled up on top of his sheets and laid her head against his pillow. She pulled his comforter up to her chin and breathed in deeply.

It smelled of him. 

And damn, he smelled good.

She closed her eyes.

One floor was not enough distance. 

She saw him, felt him, longed for him to be in the bed beside her. She could still taste him on her tongue. She wanted to cry out, ask him to come to her, but she fought the urge. 

In the quiet, she heard the tv from the living room below turn off. She heard him groan as he fell back onto the couch.

Her eyes opened and she tossed and turned, landing on her back and staring up at the ceiling. The throbbing between her thighs remained and her heart was still beating at an alarming speed. It was ridiculous. It was torturous, the wanting him and not having him.

To hell with being responsible.

Throwing back the covers, Elide shimmied out of the far too big shorts, leaving them on the floor by the bed and hurried out into the hall. She met Lorcan on the stairs, his chest heaving as quickly as hers was. She saw his eyes widen as he took in her bare legs, at her wearing nothing but his t-shirt.

“Elide—”

She grabbed him by the shirt and hauled his mouth to hers, opening up to him, every sense, every fiber of her being, her very soul.

As soon as her lips met his, she knew there was no going back. Could feel the change in Lorcan’s kiss, the urgency and desperation and need. 

His hands ran down her back and over her ass, before he suddenly lifted her. The kiss never broke, not as Elide wrapped her legs around his waist and he started back up the stairs.

When he entered his bedroom, he set her down on her feet at the edge of the bed, surprising Elide. She would have thought he was going to drop her onto the mattress and, well, ravish her.

He stared down at her, those dark eyes far more intense than she’d ever seen them, and it sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. 

“Are we picking up where we left off?” He asked, trailing his fingertip over the bare skin of her arm.

Elide nodded, forgetting how to speak as she imagined what would come next.

His smirk was dangerous and sexy and she knew she would never be the same after a night in his bed. “And where exactly was that?” He toyed with the hem of the shirt she wore. “You were just about to take this off, weren’t you?”

Elide’s eyes remained locked on his as she lifted her arms. Lorcan’s jaw twitched and there was no more hesitation as he took the hem of the shirt between his fingers and lifted it up until it was pulled over her hair and hanging limply in his hand. His eyes left hers, at last, and trailed down her body. 

She never felt more beautiful under his stare, in nothing but the black bra and simple thong she had been wearing underneath her dress. He swallowed, reaching out to brush his thumb along the swells of her breasts, along the seam of her bra. Elide shuddered beneath his touch.

When he reached out with his other hand, Elide said, “You.”

She had been planning to say something more, something sexier, but she could hardly form words, could hardly think straight when he touched her. Instead, that smirk of his deepend as his eyes shot to hers with a raised brow. 

“Shirt off,” Elide breathed, stepping closer to him. Her hands swept beneath the thin fabric, feeling the hard muscles of his abdomen beneath. 

Lorcan grabbed the hem and pulled it up over his head, shaking his hair out of his face when it was absentmindedly discarded.

All the times she’d seen him working out with Rowan, she’d never once seen him with his shirt off. His body was utter perfection, something you’d see crafted out of marble in a museum, and Elide was unable to stop herself as she reached out and ran her fingers down his powerful chest and over his abs. It was his turn for a shiver of pleasure as Elide didn’t stop there, hooking her fingers in the front of his sweatpants and tugging him closer. He obliged, conceding one step before he covered her mouth with his again.

Those deft fingers continued on, over the waistband, palming him through the fabric. Lorcan groaned into her mouth and the heat between Elide’s legs throbbed at the sound.

He pushed her back then, laying her against his mattress and the blankets and sheets that Elide had left in a jumbled mess. He pushed her back until she laid against his pillows and carefully covered her body with his. One hand was cradling her head while his other explored, pulling at the strap of her bra.

In a moment of feeling daring and beautiful and free, Elide pushed Lorcan back until he rolled onto his back and she climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. He looked up at her, chest heaving as his hands found her thighs.

Elide gathered her hair and tossed it behind her back before reaching behind her and unclasping her bra. On her thighs, Lorcan’s hands froze and he watched intently, giving her every ounce of his attention, as she slid her bra down her arms and threw it on the bed beside them.

Lorcan’s hands were moving, sliding up her thighs and her sides until he met her breasts with his palms. Elide gasped when he squeezed and sat up, one hand falling away but quickly being replaced with his lips as his other hand played with a sensitive, peaked nipple. 

Her mouth parted as his mouth closed around the taut bud and she moaned softly, threading her fingers in his hair. His teeth bit down on her nipple and she ground her hips down, needing the friction, needing something, anything, to take away the ache between her thighs.

His free hand found her hips, rocking her to repeat the motion, urging her on, again and again. Elide could feel it, her body becoming both too light and too heavy at the same time. She reached up, palming her breast, covering his hand with hers, as she threw her head back. Lorcan’s hand was still resting on her hips, but she was guiding herself at this point, and he watched in awe as she fell over the edge, lips parted as she moaned, hips bucking and grinding erratically, until they slowed and came to a stop.

Letting her head fall forward, Elide was a quivering mess above him, her eyes still closed. After a moment, he pushed her hair back, needing to see her face. Her eyes opened and settled on him, glazed and lust addled. Lorcan cupped her cheek and brushed a thumb over her lips. “Beautiful.”

He leaned up, capturing her lips in a kiss, and said onto her lips, “Hold on to me.”

In her orgasm-fogged brain, Elide registered that he was speaking, but the words could have very well been in a different language. Lorcan could tell, laughing against her skin as he rolled them, once again pinning her to the mattress.

He pressed a kiss to her throat, drawing a soft gasp from her, and then was gazing down at her. “Watching you cum is the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen.”

The words brought heat to her cheeks, but there was no shame in the pleasure she knew this man would drag from her.

His kisses alone flooded her body with pleasure she had never known. He trailed them from her throat, across her breasts and down her abdomen until he was pulling her panties down and admiring every inch of her perfect pussy. Elide had spread her legs wide for him, preparing herself for every ounce of bliss he would pull out of her. He stared at her for a moment, as if he was trying to memorize the appearance of her most prized part. Then he ran a finger down her center, between her folds, and the slow movement had Elide’s knees jerking.

He huffed a laugh, quietly, his breath warm against her sensitive skin. She wanted so desperately to push herself up, thrust herself against his mouth but she waited, patiently, waited as his finger made a pass through her center again, and again.

His thumb soon found that sensitive nub that craved his touch and he circled it, slowly.

Elide’s fingers dug into his bedsheets, desperate to hold onto anything that would keep her grounded. Those fingers tightened as Lorcan’s tongue replaced his finger and flicked her clit once, twice, before he took it between his lips.

Elide gasped, eyes opening wide as she glanced down at him and nearly combusted at the sight of his mouth on her. He looked up at her through dark, thick lashes and she swore he grinned. 

Lifting his head, Lorcan slowly pushed a long finger inside her, watching as her chest rose and fell. “So wet.”

Then his mouth was back on her, his tongue flicking over her clit at the same time he added a second finger.

“Lorcan…”

His eyes found her again, the sound of his name on a breathy moan snapping one of the last few tethers that was holding Lorcan back.

Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth, swollen from their kisses and she was kneading her right breast in her hand. She ran her other hand down her body, slipping it into his hair. “Please.”

Lorcan devoured her. After pulling out his fingers, his tongue delved into her hot center. His thumb slipped over her clit, circling it until her hips were lifting off the bed and he was holding her down, with an arm over her stomach. She moaned his name as she came, tugging on his hair far harder than she meant to, though it seemed Lorcan wasn’t complaining.

He groaned, kissing up her body, pausing to nip and suck at her breasts, aching and heavy after so many orgasms, before capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. She could taste herself on his tongue. It turned her on in a way she’d never expected.

“Are you ready for me?” He breathed, not taking his lips from hers.

She answered by pushing the waistband of his sweatpants down, tugging them down as far as she could without breaking the kiss. Lorcan made quick work of them and then it was skin on hot skin and all of his hard lining up with all of her soft. He had one hand planted on the bed by her head and the other on his cock, sliding it between her wet folds.

At the first nudge of his broad head at her entrance, Elide sighed.

Lorcan dropped his forehead to hers. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

It took all of her effort to keep her body still beneath his as the entirety of her being ached for him. He had already made her feel so, so good, had already brought her to places she had no idea existed. The waiting, the imagining of what he would feel like was about to become reality and her patience was wearing thin. She leaned up and kissed him softly before looking down between them, where their bodies met.

The sight of his size alone was enough to set her aflame. 

With a gentle slowness, Lorcan’s hips flexed and the head of his cock disappeared within her. Elide gasped, eyes snapping back to his. He was already watching her with parted lips and wild eyes. She had all of his attention and she loved every bit of it. Right now, she was the only person in his universe, and he was hers.

Lorcan slid into her with an aching slowness until there was nothing left to give. His eyes stayed on hers, watching every emotion that flashed through them as he filled her: surprise, thrill, satisfaction, utter lust.

He slowly pulled himself back out until nothing but his swollen head remained hidden, and it was the last gentle act he granted her. One hand still remained close to her head but his other hand found its way to her ass as he snapped his hips into hers, pushing himself in to the hilt in one smooth motion.

“Gods,” she gasped, chest heaving as Lorcan caught her bottom lip between his teeth. She ran her fingers through his hair as she pulled him nearer, her tongue finding its way back into his mouth. 

He set a relentless pace, swallowing every moan and scream of pleasure as he filled her, gripping her ass, pounding into her. Elide’s hands were all over him, in his hair, on his back, his arms, his ass, his face. She cupped his cheek as they stared into each other’s eyes, panting.

There was something charged in the air between them, something that had Elide gasping, had her pleasure increasing, her nipples tightening and a familiar ache forming low in her belly. She resisted the urge to let her eyes roll back in her head. She wanted to see everything as Lorcan thoroughly fucked her, wanted to watch as his thick cock slid in and out of her, wanted to know what he looked like when he spilled inside of her.

Lorcan’s fingers tightened on her ass, coming dangerously close to a sensitive place Elide had never let anyone near, and she wasn’t able to stop the surprised moan that tumbled from her lips. Slowing his thrusts, Lorcan’s eyes glowed with lust as his eyes left her face and traveled down her body, snagging on her spread legs. Elide didn’t have the same viewpoint that he did, but she know what he saw. His thick, hard cock buried in her soaked, glistening pussy. He squeezed again, finger running directly over that forbidden entrance, glancing up to watch her reaction. She gasped again and he smiled wickedly. “Ever tried it?’

“No.” Her voice was deep and rough, like she’d been screaming his name. She probably had.

He put the slightest amount of pressure there and her eyes fluttered shut as she tensed slightly.

“Not tonight,” he breathed, his lips at her ear, tugging on her earlobe with his teeth. “But if you ever feel like exploring, let me know.”

His words shot straight to her core. Her eyes fluttered open and she nodded. She had never been remotely interested in that, no idea if she’d ever be ready for it, if she’d even like it, but Lorcan seemed to think she would.

One of Lorcan’s hands found her breast, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the nipple while he slowly began thrusting into her again. She felt like she was going to combust from his slow torturous pace, had an orgasm building and needed to cum.

Her nails raked along his skin as she pleaded, “Faster.”

He leaned down and nipped at her lip before he grinned, wickedly, his thrusts growing even slower. She groaned, and when he was fully in her he stopped, grabbed her hips, and pushed her up into him. It was impossible for them to be any closer, but she wanted him closer. She wanted him as close as he could be, and she never wanted it to be any other way.

His eyes were dark, and she knew he was enjoying this tease he so torturously was displaying. 

Lorcan pushed himself up on his knees, every inch of him still inside of her as his grip on her hips tightened. His breathing was ragged, chest heaving, sweat glistening across his skin and dampening his hair. “Ready to cum again for me?” He asked, his low voice only adding to that need.

“Yes,” she said, one hand gripping the pillow in preparation for what was about to come, the other on his knee, nails digging into his skin. “Please.”

His eyes flashed at that one, simple word, and then he was pounding into her with relentless, reckless thrusts. His muscles flexed as he worked, and Elide made herself focus, made herself watch his face as utter euphoria consumed him. 

Gods, he was beautiful, wild and untamed. His hands on her hips pulled her into him with every thrust he so graciously gave, his fingers tightening with every satisfying plunge so deep inside of her. Elide’s knees began to shake and Lorcan swore, the crude word music to her ears as she drowned in his lustful presence. 

Her hand fell to her sex, fingers gliding through her wetness until she began to circle her clit, furiously, in time with his thrusts.

“So fucking hot,” he grunted, watching her touch herself, watching as he pounded into her.

It only took two more powerful strokes and Elide’s entire body went taught. Stars exploded behind her eyelids as her back was arched off the bed, her breasts jutting out, and she cried out. She wasn’t sure if it was his name or if she cursed or just moaned, but gods, as her release barreled through her, she never wanted it to end, wanted Lorcan to bring her this kind of pleasure every minute of every day.

“Look at me while you cum.”

It wasn’t a request, and her body responded without her even having told it, her eyes opening and finding his dark gaze already on her. Lorcan cupped her face, dragging his thumb across her parted lips as she panted, orgasm still coursing through her. “So beautiful.”

While one of her hands continued to circle her clit, the other wrapped around his wrist holding it in place as she took his thumb between her teeth. His eyes flared as she closed her lips around it and sucked, letting her tongue dance over the digit.

Lorcan’s control snapped.

He collapsed on top of her, his mouth crashing into hers. His thumb was still in her mouth and his other arm wrapped around her waist to hold her in place. Elide had thought he’d roughly fucked her before, but she was wrong. Now, he was savage, his hips pounding into hers, balls slapping against her skin, and an unexpected release tore slammed into her.

Lorcan swore, long and low, as her pussy quivered and clenched around him, and then he was falling over the edge, each wave of his orgasm and hot spurt of cum deep into her body punctuated by a groan against her lips.

His body fell slack against hers and she could feel his heartbeat nearly bursting from his chest. Elide’s arms went around him, one around his shoulders, the other allowing her fingers to dig into that damp, messy hair. Neither of them spoke while they attempted to catch their breaths and Elide dwelled in the comfort that his cock was still buried deep inside of her.

After a moment, Lorcan leaned back and brought himself up onto his elbows. He looked down at her, face flushed, eyes bright and smiled.

Elide knew her cheeks were pink, figured they were on fire, but she couldn’t help the soft laughter that bubbled out of her. Joy, it was pure joy she was experiencing, utter satisfaction and simple happiness.

Lorcan shook his head, the tip of his nose brushing hers as he whispered, “Fucking gods, you’re beautiful.”

This time when he kissed her it was soft, slow, mesmerizing and full of the promise that he was exactly the man that she thought he was.

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Eight}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

The first thing Elide realized when she woke up was how rested she felt, how great she’d slept, for the first time in almost a month.

The second thing she realized was that something was tickling her face.

Opening her eyes, Elide was greeted by a mass of messy dark hair strewn across the pillow beside her.

Lorcan.

Memories of their night before crashed through her, just as the soreness hit her between her legs.

He had promised that he would make her feel good. He made good on that promise.

Careful not to wake him, Elide reached out, brushing his hair off of his forehead, revealing his sleeping face. He was one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen, she had no doubt of that, but there was something charming to his features when he was asleep, something that softened the harsh, rugged lines of his face.

The scar that cut through his eyebrow was longer than she realized, able to see the faint edges of it reaching almost to his hairline. She wondered what had caused the wound, something that caused such a scar years later. The answer likely lied in his past, with his father, but Elide wouldn’t pry. She wouldn’t want anyone digging through her past without offering the information to them.

She couldn’t stop her fingers as they trailed the scar then down the sharp line of his jaw. She’d kissed that jaw last night, those lips and everything else. The thought alone, the rush of the memory, had her longing to relive it again. 

He stirred beside her and Elide stilled. It was his day off, she didn’t want to wake him, yet there he was, dark eyes fluttering open. He took a deep, heavy breath as he yawned and blinked a few times before meeting Elide’s tender gaze.

He gave her a sleepy grin as he reached over and draped his arm over her abdomen. She could feel his hard, naked body up against her side and it caught her breath.

“Good morning,” he whispered, and she liked the way he sounded first thing in the morning.

“Good morning,” she said, unable to stop a smile of her own.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked, eyes still glazed with the exhaustion he was certainly feeling.

“Really good,” she said, and laughed quietly as she rolled onto her side to face him head on.

He pulled her in closer. Elide draped her leg over his. 

“Good,” he said, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. “Me too. Better than I’ve slept in a long time. I think you wore me out.”

“Me?” She laughed, laying her hand against his chest. Not to push him away, but because she just…needed to touch him. “I think you wore yourself out.”

He leaned in, pressing the softest of kisses to her mouth. It was sweet and tender and so different from what they’d done last night that Elide reveled in it.

“We can call it a joint effort,” he murmured against her lips, rolling on top of her.

She sucked in a breath, her legs falling apart as he settled between them. It was so sore between her legs, thanks to Lorcan wearing himself out, that she wasn’t sure she could even stand to have his fingers or mouth on her.

His kisses stayed slow and sweet and soft and he eventually pulled away. “Breakfast?”

Her stomach picked that exact moment to make the most gods awful growling noise. Burying her face in his neck, her voice was muffled when she replied. “Yes, please.”

Lorcan chuckled, deep and rough, and kissed the side of her head before climbing off of her and off the bed.

Elide told herself she tried not to look, she really did, but her eyes were drawn to his very strong, very powerful, very, very naked body. His muscled back expanded as he stretched and yawned, walking towards his dresser. His abs flexed in the mirror as he pulled open a drawer, pulling out a pair of boxer-briefs. And his ass, good gods, that ass… Every inch of him was perfection, and she meant every single inch.

Even though she knew it was likely thanks to regular old morning wood, Elide imagined that the reason his cock was so hard, straining against the black boxer-briefs he’d just put on, was because she was still lying naked in his bed.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he promised, as he turned to face her. As he grinned, she knew that he was fully aware of where her eyes lingered. “Get some fresh clothes out of the dresser. Make yourself at home.”

He left and once he was gone, Elide sat up. She walked across the hall to the bathroom and took care of her business before lifting an arm and smelling herself. Gods. She smelled like she had just worked out, and she supposed she had the night before. She took a washcloth out of the closet and washed her face, then did a quick wash of her body, before running her fingers through her tangled hair. She looked in the mirror once more and deemed herself appropriate before walking back across the hall to his bedroom.

She opened his drawers and eventually found a pile of t-shirts. She took one out that looked like it represented his high school days and pulled it on before picking up the scattered, discarded clothing strung across the floor from the night before. She put them into his hamper before crawling back onto his bed and waiting.

Her phone vibrated on his night stand and she hadn’t even realized she had brought it up with her the night before. She was surprised she had, remembering that she had been thinking of one thing and one thing alone when she ascended the stairs. 

She grabbed it now and looked at the screen. Aelin had texted her.

Just went to tell you good morning. You’re not there. I have chocolate muffins. Where are you?? Are you okay??

Chocolate muffins sounded delicious. She always got them from a bakery just down the street that Elide swore was gifted to them by the gods. 

She typed back, I’m good. Be home soon. Tell you everything then.

After adding a smiley face she sent the text away and Lorcan came back in, still in nothing but his underwear, holding a tray of food.

It smelled glorious. 

“I could certainly get used to seeing you in my clothes,” he said, setting the tray on the edge of the bed and sitting next to her.

Elide yelped as he pulled her into his lap and reached for the tray, tugging it closer to them.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was full of laughter.

“I want to eat breakfast, but I also really want you in my arms,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “so I’m doing both.” He held up a plate for her. “Bacon?”

She shook her head. “You’re…”

“Ridiculous?” He finished for her, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck as he loosened his grip on her. “You’ve told me a few times.”

She was still in his lap, but was able to reach for one of the two cups of coffee on the tray. Thanks to their many talks over smoothies, he knew exactly how she drank her coffee. She took a long drink and moaned quietly. When she opened her eyes, she felt his gaze on her and turned to look at him. His eyes were glazed, so dark Elide could hardly tell where his pupil ended and the iris began. “What?”

“Careful, or you’re going to end up being breakfast.”

Her cheeks warmed as she sipped from her mug. Gods, she wished she was so she could feel his tongue exploring every inch of her body again. His eyes brightened as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

Nonetheless, he took a piece of bacon off the plate and ate it before grabbing a piece of avocado toast to follow it with. Elide did the same and she had to admit that Lorcan was pretty damn good in the kitchen. 

They ate and they talked and they laughed, and then they kissed for a while until Elide felt like a muddled mess. He didn’t go any further and she was certain that it was because he knew how sore she was, knew how vigorously he had pleasured her the night before. 

“You’re more than welcome to wear that home,” he said, gesturing to his shirt that was on her body about an hour later. “Although, you may want to wear some pants.”

Elide chuckled. No matter what she wore home, when Lorcan dropped her off, Aelin and Rowan would surely know exactly what had happened. Elide didn’t care, though. She watched Lorcan as he dressed, pulling on his jeans and a sweatshirt, and realized that she was just a little bit crazy about the guy.

Even before last night, he had consumed her thoughts and brought her undoubtful happiness. 

Elide opted to put her dress back on, as much as she longed to keep the worn, well-loved shirt, but knew there was no way she’d be able to keep the baggy shorts from last night on, no matter how tightly she tied the drawstring.

It was almost ten by the time Lorcan was locking the kitchen door behind them as they stepped out into the garage. Halfway to the car, she froze.

Ever the vigilant officer, Lorcan noticed immediately. “What?”

“My car,” she said, dropping her forehead to her palm. “It’s at the bar, not at home.”

Shrugging, he stepped around her and opened the passenger door for her. “We’ll get it tonight.”

“Tonight?” She asked, as she got into the car.

“Yeah.” He grinned and leaned down, capturing her lips with his. “When I take you out tonight.”

Twenty minutes later, they were parked in Elide’s usual spot at the apartment and were walking up the stairs. She paused in front of the door, waiting.

Raising an eyebrow, Lorcan asked, “What are you doing?” 

“Listening,” Elide whispered back. “Making sure they aren’t having sex in the living room or the kitchen.”

Lorcan couldn’t fault her for that. Regardless of the fact that they got engaged the night before, he knew what kind of sexual appetite those two had. He’d innocently walked into their dorm room on numerous occasions and found the two of them going at it on Rowan’s desk or on the floor or anywhere they could get their hands, lips, teeth, tongues on each other more times than he could count. And Aelin hadn’t even lived with them. He could only imagine what it was like sharing a two bedroom apartment with them both.

“I think the coast is clear,” he said, after they’d listened for a couple more seconds. “I don’t hear anything.”

“Maybe they're not home,” Elide said, unlocking the door and heading in.

They were home and they were, surprisingly, both completely dressed.

Or at least one of them was.

Rowan was sitting on the couch in the living room when they stepped inside, watching highlights of the hockey game the night before. His green eyes went wide as he took in the two of them.

Lorcan shut the door behind them and turned to face Rowan, smiling as he crossed his arms. “Good morning.”

Rowan blinked, eyes darting from Lorcan to Elide, then back to Lorcan. With thinned lips, he said, “Morning.”

Elide cleared her throat. “Aelin?”

“Bedroom,” Rowan replied, simply, his narrowed eyes never leaving Lorcan.

Elide dismissed herself, hurrying down the hall and back towards the bedrooms. When she was in the hall, she gave one last look over her shoulder and smiled. Lorcan was watching her. He winked, and she disappeared. 

Aelin was in her bedroom, putting away clean laundry when Elide rounded the corner. The second she appeared, Aelin dropped the pile of Rowan’s shorts she was holding and took in Elide’s apparel.

She knew she probably still looked like a mess, her dress wrinkled and her makeup still lingering from the night before. Aelin hopped up onto her bed and patted the mattress next to her before saying, “Spill, starting with why I hear Lorcan in my living room.”

Elide heard him, too, his voice lingering as he and Rowan spoke, although she couldn’t decipher any of the words being exchanged.

“He brought me home,” Elide said, unable to stop her spreading grin as she sat on the edge of Aelin’s bed.

“Because?” Aelin asked, dragging the word out.

Elide knew that Aelin knew exactly why, but she still didn’t tell her outright. “Because we had a sleepover.”

“A sleepover,” she repeated, her lips pursed. Elide could tell she was trying not to smile.  “And what, pray tell, took place at this sleepover?”

“Well, we watched a movie,” Elide said, tucking her legs underneath herself.

“What movie?” Aelin interjected.

“The Princess Bride.” She didn’t bother telling Aelin that neither of them watched more than fifteen minutes total.

She nodded. “Oh, he’s good. What else?”

“He made me breakfast this morning,” Elide said, smiling down at the comforter as she played with an errant loose thread. “It was delicious. He makes a mean avocado toast.”

“Okay, anyone can make avocado toast, it’s not that hard, but that’s not the point.” Aelin was eyeing Elide. “Did something happen between the movie and breakfast?”

Gods, Elide was enjoying this far too much. “A few things happened,” she admitted, shrugging one shoulder. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

Turquoise and gold eyes narrowed on her. “Did you or did you not hook up with my fiancé’s best friend?”

Apparently, Aelin was done with the vague answers. And was wanting to flash her new title.

Biting her lip, Elide glanced up at Aelin and nodded.

Aelin was up in a flash, slamming the door, jumping back onto the bed next to Elide and taking her hand. “You have to tell me everything.”

“Everything?” Elide chuckled.

“Okay, not everything, I don’t want to know how big his cock is or anything,” she said, rolling her eyes and shuddering, “but I need to know how it was.”

“It was…amazing,” Elide breathed. The door was shut and Rowan and Lorcan were having their own conversation downstairs, but she still spoke quietly, not wanting him to know she was talking about him. “He fucks like a god.”

Aelin’s brows shot up. “Really? Scale of one to ten.”

Elide shook her head. “Sixteen. I’ve never experienced anything like it,” she confessed. “I had more orgasms than I could count and, gods, he took his time with me.” She felt that heat flood her veins. “It was….it was perfect.”

When she looked back up at Aelin, her eyes were soft. “And?” She pushed. “After? How’d you feel?”

How did she feel? There weren’t words to describe it, but she did the best she could, even though it didn’t do him justice. “I had never felt more safe, or cherished.”

“Good,” Aelin said, then smiled wickedly. “If he wasn’t a gentleman, I would cut his dick off myself.”

“Please don’t,” Elide said, before she could think better of it. Aelin laughed. “He was kind. You know…until it was appropriate for the gentleman in him to go out the window.”

“You’re smitten,” Aelin said, shoving her friend in the arm. “You’re happy?”

“Very,” Elide promised.

“Are you two, like, dating now? Or was it just a one time thing?” Aelin asked, needing those little details, unable to control herself.

“He’s taking me to dinner tonight,” Elide beamed, then looked down at herself. “You know, after I bathe and make myself presentable.”

“You make the walk of shame look good,” Aelin smirked, looking at Elide’s rumpled dress.

“Shut up,” she laughed, covering her face and falling back onto the mattress.

And then she jumped up like something had bitten her.

“What?” Aelin asked, jumping to her feet as well, turning to look for an attacker on the bed.

“I do not want to lay in, on, or around your bed after last night,” Elide said, pretending to shudder.

“Oh, you shut up,” Aelin laughed, shoving her. Elide laughed, too, and they sat back down on the bed, despite Elide’s protests. She wrapped an arm around Elide’s shoulders, resting her cheek on top of her head. “Besides, the bed is the only place we didn’t have sex last night.” Elide groaned and fell back against the bed again. “The couch, the kitchen, the counter in the bathroom, even against the door to your bed—”

“I get it!” Aelin was laughing so hard that Elide had to as well. “Lots of sex. A lot of sex was had last night.”

“A lot,” Aelin emphasized, and Elide rolled her eyes in the most loving of ways. She looked down at the gorgeous ring that sat on her friend’s finger.

“I’m so happy for you, Ace,” she said, taking her hand. “You and Rowan deserve the world.”

“It’s finally happening.” Aelin’s grin was breathtaking, utter joy and happiness written all over her. “I can’t believe it.”

“I guess it’s time I start looking for my own place,” Elide said, with a sad smile.

“You know you don’t have to, Elide,” Aelin said, squeezing her hand. “Just because we’re engaged, you don’t have to go. We haven’t even talked about a date for the wedding yet, so there’s no rush.”

“It’s okay,” Elide said, and she meant it. “You guys need your own space and so do I.”

Arlin smirked and said, “You’re right, I’m not ready to start having breakfast with Lorcan every morning.”

Elide’s cheeks heated. 

She was going to tell Aelin that that may not be the case, but Elide really hoped it was. She loved that Lorcan brought her breakfast in bed, loved the night they had shared together. If she could do it again, she would, just to feel that rush of euphoria that went with it. 

She wondered if every time would be like that.

All she knew for sure is that there sure as hell would be a next time. 

She would make sure of that.

——————————-

“I told you not to get involved with her.”

The second that Elide left the room, Lorcan knew that the conversation with Rowan was going to take a turn.

“Yeah, and I didn’t give a fuck,” Lorcan said, and he knew it was petty but a rush of sudden anger swept over him. He knew of Elide’s past and he hadn’t planned for what happened to have happened, but there were no regrets. Being with Elide last night felt right, felt natural, felt perfect, and he would not feel bad about it.

“Aelin is going to be so pissed,” Rowan replied, standing from the couch.

“And again,” Lorcan replied, his hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t give a fuck. What happened between Elide and I is between us, not you and me and not Elide and Aelin.”

Rowan shook his head. “You two weren’t drunk, were you?”

“No, but why would that matter,” he shot back. “Drunk thoughts are sober truths or whatever the saying is.”

“Because you make bad decisions when you’re drunk, and because Elide is fucking healing and vulnerable—”

“Are you accusing me of forcing myself on her?” Icy rage froze the blood in his veins and he’d never wanted to punch his best friend as badly as he did in that moment.

“Of course not, I know you would never do that,” Rowan said, holding up his hands as if he knew Lorcan’s thoughts had turned near violent, “but like I said, she’s been through some shit—”

“Just to set the record straight, even though it’s none of your fucking business, I offered to sleep on the couch, she went upstairs to sleep in my bed, alone, and then came and sought me out,” Lorcan said, unwilling to apologize for what they’d done. He also didn’t mention that he was on the way up the stairs to beg her to let him touch her, however she’d let him.

Rowan had started to pace at some point and he asked, “Why was she even at your place anyways?”

“Because she knew that you two were most likely coming back here to fuck on every surface in the apartment, and I offered her somewhere she could get a good night’s rest without having to go to therapy.”

He paused where he had made it to the middle of the room and looked at Lorcan. He wasn’t able to hide the smirk that appeared on his face. “Alright, that’s fair.”

And that quickly, the tension in the room was gone.

Rowan sighed, dragging a hand through his cropped silver hair. “Just…promise me you’re doing this for the right reason, Lor. She’s a good girl, who’s been through way too much shit in her life. And don’t even start,” he said, holding a hand out when he saw Lorcan open his mouth to jump in, “because I know the shit you went through because I was there. But everyone heals differently, and I don’t think Elide is a one-night stand kind of girl.”

Lorcan was quiet for a moment as he rounded the couch and sat. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want it to be a one night stand,” he said, jaw flexing. “I care about her. I mean, I really care about her. I’ve gotten to know her and I…I can’t get her out of my head.”

Rowan nodded, sitting on the chair opposite of him and crossing his arms. For a moment, he said nothing. He watched Lorcan and Lorcan hated it, hated it because he could tell that Rowan was examining him. Rowan had known him longer than anyone. He knew Lorcan’s mannerisms, his expressions. “I can tell,” he said, at last. “I’ve seen you go through a lot of women, Lor.”

Lorcan blinked and waited for him to go on. When he didn’t, he asked, “But?”

“But I’ve never seen you look like that when talking about one of them,” Rowan finished, simply. 

Lorcan had never felt what he did for Elide for any other woman - at least, not so quickly. Being with Elide felt right, and there was no other way for him to explain it. Even before he slept with her, he felt a pull towards her, like being simply in her presence wasn’t enough. He did not believe in fate, nor did he believe in love at first sight, but what he felt for Elide since the day she hit him with her car bordered both ideologies. 

“It’s not just a one night stand,” Lorcan said, reassuring him, “not for me, at least.”

Rowan nodded at last. “If you’re happy, man, then I’m happy. Just…be careful.”

Lorcan gave him a curt nod and that was that, the conversation in the past. Rowan cared for Elide, Lorcan knew that, knew that it was the reason he had acted the way he had. He liked that, too, loved that Elide had people in her life like Rowan and Aelin who cared so much for her and her well-being. But, Lorcan cared, too, and he didn’t want that going unnoticed. 

Aelin came out a minute later and gave Lorcan a mischievous grin that didn’t quite sit well with him as she plopped herself down next to Rowan. Ten minutes later, Elide appeared with wet hair and far more comfortable clothes on than the rumpled dress she had slipped on from the night before. She sat next to Lorcan on the couch without any hesitation and his arm went around her as she laid her head against his shoulder. 

Natural.

It all felt so damn natural, so right, and that was all Lorcan could think about as they flipped through the channels together, the four of them. 

Everything was falling into place and Lorcan thought that he could sure as hell get used to it.

——————————-

Elide was absolutely positive that she had never been this happy. For the first time in her life, everything was going right. She spent her days doing what she loved, helping people better themselves and spent her nights with Lorcan, experiencing pleasure she never thought was possible. They spent almost all of their time together when they weren’t working, though Lorcan stopped in to see her almost every day. Being together had started to feel not just natural, but normal. Rowan and Aelin had even stopped staring at them every time they were around.

Which was often, as they stayed at Elide’s almost as often as they stayed at Lorcan’s, for one reason or another. Some days, Lorcan had to be up before the sun and some days, it was Elide, but no matter what, they were together.

They took advantage of their privacy when they stayed at Lorcan’s, which is how Elide had ended up bent over the arm of the couch one evening after they returned home from the gym. Thirty minutes later, she was lying on his chest on the couch, reveling in the feeling of his fingers on the bare skin of her back. Her eyes were closed and she listened to the steady beat of his heart as he dragged his fingers up and down her back.

“Elide…”

“Mmm.” She was seconds away from falling asleep if he kept doing that and then he’d have to carry her up to bed. Naked.

His fingers stilled. “I’ve been thinking.”

Elide’s eyes flew open. She hated those words. They were almost as bad as we need to talk, but thankfully, he hadn’t said that.

She sat up, her palms flat on his chest, and looked down at him. “About what?”

He lifted a dark brow as his fingers went around her wrists then up her arms before cupping her face. “Lay back down,” he whispered, brushing a thumb along her jaw. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Elide gave him a suspicious look before lowering herself back down, cheek against his chest. She looked up at him, though, to find him already watching her, eyes bright. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, again, “about us.”

Elide still felt no comfort, even when his fingers brushed along her back, once more. 

“What about us?” Elide pressed.

Lorcan was quiet for a moment, but then he said, “I really care about you, Elide. Everytime I’m with you, I…” His words trailed off and he shook his head. “I hope you know how important you are to me.” 

Elide’s body had gone still. She wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but with the way he began the conversation, she didn’t think that those would be the next words coming out of his mouth. “I know,” she promised, and she did. She felt how important she was to him every time she was in his presence. “I feel the same for you.”

He smiled, and it was one of those rare smiles that had Elide’s heartbeat quickening. “You’re freaking me out,” she muttered, and he chuckled.

“I just…” he began, but then thought better of it and let out an exasperated huff. “Look, I want you to be my girlfriend, alright? I feel like I should have asked you a while ago but I wasn’t sure how to. And, to be honest, I had a nice, romantic little speech planned, but now it sounds stupid, so…there it is. Please say you’ll be my girlfriend because, if not, I am already incredibly uncomfortable.”

The words rushed out of him so quickly that Elide barely had time to process them before she laughed, quietly, her hand coming up to cover that bubbling laughter.

Lorcan’s face immediately fell. “You’re laughing.”

“I’m not, I’m not.” Except she was still giggling. Outright giggling. When she composed herself,  Elide realized it was her turn to dissuade his worries. She sat up, looking down at him, and pushed his messy hair back off his face. “I’m not laughing at you, Lorcan, it’s just that…I thought I already was your girlfriend.”

She was starting to chuckle again as she finished what she was saying and his eyebrows knit together. “What?”

“I’ve had, like, three people ask about us and I’ve told them you were my boyfriend.” Her cheeks were heating, but she didn’t care. “I assumed, with all the dates and all the time we spend together, that we were sort of just…together.”

It was Lorcan’s turn to laugh and he cupped the back of her head, pulling her mouth to his.

She kissed him slowly, a sense of peace overpowering her body as she melted into him. When she pulled back, she said, “That’s a yes, by the way, in case that wasn’t clear.”

Lorcan’s arms around her tightened as he clicked his tongue. “I don’t know,” he teased. “That’s not very convincing.”

Elide rolled her eyes and shoved against him before falling right back down onto his chest. “What we just did didn’t convince you!?” She asked, running her hands down his abdomen. “I can always try to convince you again.”

He dragged her mouth to his, kissing her deeply, and breathed, “I think you should.”

And so Elide did.

[swankii-art-teacher]

Progress... love Elide dropping her dress for Lorcan and his reply of F*ck was priceless... progress in the right direction.

'Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Nine}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide - 

Our suite in the hotel is by far the nicest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in. It’s beautiful, candles and rose petals everywhere. There’s a bottle of champagne in a bucket on the bar and chocolate truffles on the table. As the door closes behind me, it’s obvious that this room was prepared in the hopes of one thing.

Sex.

A trail of white rose petals lead into the adjoining bedroom and are arranged in the shape of a heart on the king-size bed. And, of course, there’s a heart-shaped tub in the corner of the bedroom. Wouldn’t be a honeymoon suite without it, I guess.

As he drapes his jacket over the back of the couch and begins to unbutton his shirt, my anxiety goes on high alert. I can’t sleep with him yet. I’m not ready. My brain is warped from the day, my heart is heavy and confused, my nerves are fried, and my body is exhausted. Did I even get to eat at some point today? I honestly can’t remember.

I try not to stare as he rolls his shirtsleeves up and continues unbuttoning the front of his shirt, exposing his chest and abs. I was right, they’re completely covered in tattoos, just like his arms. And although he's definitely good-looking in his own way, he's just not my type at all. I've never been attracted to men with long hair or tattoos and facial piercings. As far as men go, I've always been drawn to men with short hair, thin, athletic builds, and stable careers.

Lorcan Salvaterre is…none of those things. His muscles mesmerize me, just as much as they did the first time I saw him, only now they’re on display even more than they were then.

I guess I've always wanted the opposite of my uncle.

Once again, I find myself wondering if the team somehow made a mistake, and matched me up with the wrong guy. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because he’s the complete opposite of everything I said I wanted on the forms they had me fill out.

I sink into a chair, reaching down to remove my shoes as he approaches, of course, the bar. I didn’t see it at first, but I notice it right as he picks up the small envelope propped on a wine glass.

“It’s got both of our names on it,” Lorcan says, holding it up as he turns to face me. “Want me to read it?”

“Sure.”

Opening the card, he clears his throat and reads off what it says. “Dear Lorcan and Elide, congratulations on your wedding day! This is the first step in what we hope is your happily ever after.” He pauses and I can see him chewing the inside of his cheek in agitation. With a sigh, he keeps going. “You have the option of leaving for your honeymoon tomorrow to spend two weeks at an all-inclusive romantic resort, or, if you feel you need more time to get to know each other, you can choose to postpone your honeymoon up to two months. If you choose to postpone, the next step is moving in together. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you need any advice, and remember to keep up with your journals and video chats. Also, please refer to the study guidelines if you have any questions. Most of all, have fun and open your hearts to love.”

Dropping the card back onto the bar, he turns towards me. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a vacation.”

A romantic resort. Nuhuh. Not yet.

“I’d like to wait, if that’s okay with you.”

He looks at me for a moment before nodding. “Of course.” I sense slight disappointment in his voice, but he doesn’t mention it. Instead he pushes his shirt down his arms and tosses it aside before unbuckling his belt.

“What’re you doing?” I blurt.

His eyes snap up to mine as he freezes. His hands drop to his sides. “I was just going to change. I hate these stiff-ass clothes.”

That’s something I’ve noticed about him so far. He seems to add “ass” onto the end of everything. 

I suddenly feel foolish. “Sorry, I just…thought you wanted to…” My words trail off and his brows raise. I explain, “I’m not ready to sleep together.” The words feel ridiculous coming out of my mouth, even if it’s the truth.

He doesn’t judge me, though. He simply nods. “I’ve collected that.” He laughs, softly. “It’s alright. I’ll just…change in the bathroom. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not uncomfortable.” The second the words come out of my mouth he grins and I hate him for it. It’s cocky. Cocky, and hot as hell, but I don’t let him know that. “I’ve seen a man’s stomach before. I’m not that pitiful.” 

“I don’t think you’re pitiful.” He unzips the bag at the foot of the bed and pulls out a pair of sweatpants. “Try to relax, alright? I promise not to do anything you’re not ready to do. You look like you’re about to puke and that doesn’t sit well with me. You don’t have to be scared of me, Elide.”

I know I don’t, I trust in Aelin and Aelin knows Lorcan, so I know that I’m safe. 

“I’m sorry this is just…so crazy,” I finish, knowing it’s pathetic but I have too many emotions to sort. 

He nods and sits at the foot of the bed, head cocking to the side. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?”

Put a shirt on? Your god-like muscles are distracting. My eyes can’t help but linger as the thought crosses my mind.

“I’m not scared of you,” I finally say, and add, “and like I said, I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just…trying to figure out how our lives will mesh together.”

“That’s for future Lorcan and Elide to figure out, not us. We’re supposed to relax and enjoy our wedding night,” he says, leaning back on his hands. “As great as it would be to leave tomorrow, I’m okay with not flying for hours and hours.”

“I’ve never been on a plane,” I admit, playing with my wedding band. It’s strange having a ring on that finger.

“Really?” He asks, cocking his head again. “That’ll change. You and Aelin will have to fly out and see us when we’re on tour.”

I swallow hard as my stomach sinks. "How often do you tour?"

I don’t know exactly how often Rowan is gone, but I know it hasn’t been as much in the past six months 

“Depends. We don't tour a lot like most bands do, only like two or three times a year, sometimes more, and usually not longer than a few weeks at a time.” He shrugs. “We’ve done the on the road for months thing. We got that out of our systems when we were twenty.”

"So what happens during the tour? Where do we stay if I went? And what happens to me if I stay home?"

“If you go, then we’ll stay wherever. On the bus, in hotels. It all depends on what we have lined up. If you don't go, you’ll stay home,  wherever we end up living."

That sounds awful to me, living on the road. Exactly what I didn't want, not having a solid home. Did they not even reference our applications? What was the point for filling it all out?

"That's not really what I wanted. I like to be home, and I don't like being alone all the time. I was hoping for normalcy and stability." My voice cracks as I realize all the reasons I wanted to get married are slowly disappearing right in front of.

Lorcan gets up from the bed and pauses in front of me. crouching down so he’s eye level with me, he says, “You'll have it. Just different than you expected." He meets my eyes for a moment and his soften just a bit. "Hey, we don't have to talk about all this right now. It's been a long day; we're both tired and a little bit stressed over this whole thing. Let's just get some rest, and tomorrow, we'll figure out where we're going to live and everything else after that.”

I hesitate. “What is everything else?”

He stands back up, giving me a front row seat to his muscular, tattooed stomach. “I guess we'll find out tomorrow.”

I smile weakly. “Thank you. This is just harder than I was expecting, I guess.”

“Agreed. I'm gonna take a quick shower.” He says, sitting on the couch across from me, reaching down and untying—

“Have you been wearing boots with your tux all day?” I ask, blinking down at the black boots he’s discarded on the floor.

He looks from them to me. “Yeah. It’s all I wear unless I’m working out. Then I wear tennis shoes.”

I blink. “You wore boots on our wedding day?” I don’t know why this is so wild to me, it’s the least surprising thing that’s happened today, but I’m hung up on it. I should’ve worn Vans, rather than the sparkly heels Aelin picked out for me.

“I wear boots every day.” He looks at me like my shock is funny to him. “Our wedding day is no exception.”

I watch him rifle through the duffel bag that the hotel brought up while we were at the reception before disappearing into the bathroom.

My own bag is sitting next to his, but I’ll get what I need out of it in a minute. I don’t want to move yet.

Letting out a deep breath, I close my eyes for a few moments and try to calm myself. It’ll be okay. They put us together. They know what they're doing. Right now I can't fathom what we have in common—aside from our love of eighties movies—but the experts must have seen something in him that I can't see yet.

Standing to get undressed, I realize I can't get my wedding gown off.

Shit.

There are way too many tiny buttons I can't reach, and with the fitted bodice, there is no way I'm going to get it up and over my head. I knew I should never have let Aelin talk me into this dress.

With a sigh, I fall back into the chair and close my eyes.

I don’t hear the door open, but suddenly, Lorcan is standing over me. “Why are you still sitting there, wearing your dress?”

I look up at him and, good gods, how is this man real? It takes an enormous amount of willpower to keep my eyes on his face.

He’s wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, his long hair damp and loose. There are still little drops of water begging me to follow their path as they trailed down his muscular body.

Despite the hair, piercing, and tattoos, just seeing his half-naked body and the way his muscles flex with each movement has my insides quivering in a way I wasn’t expecting. I can’t even imagine ever touching a body like that or having someone like him be interested or attracted to me in any way, in any realm of reality.

Tearing my eyes away from the muscular V that disappears into the waistband of his pants, I admit that I can't get the dress off by myself.

He gestures for me to stand and I lift my brows. “I’ll help,” he says, when it’s clear I’m not moving.

Considering there’s no other way I’m getting this thing off, I stand and turn my back to him. He’s surprisingly gentle as he undoes the delicate buttons. 

“I knew I’d get you out of your dress on our wedding night,” he says, and I know he’s teasing. If I turned, I’m sure I’d see that light glinting in his eyes, just as it was when we were dancing. “Although I imagined using a lot more teeth and being closer to the bed when it happened. Not that I need a bed. I could—”

“Are you always so vulgar?” I ask, keeping my tone light even though my heart is about to burst through my chest. I blame it on nerves.

He laughs, quietly. “This isn’t even close to me being vulgar. You haven’t heard me being vulgar.”

“I feel this is a good time to remind you that I’m not ready to have sex.” I’m not sure if I’m reminding him or myself as his fingers graze my skin. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve let someone take care of me and it’s starting to show.

“You married me, baby, that’s about as ready as we can get,” he says, that playful tone remaining in his voice.

I ignore what my stomach does when he calls me baby. 

When my dress is loose enough for me to shimmy out of, I step out of his reach, holding the front of my dress up against my body. When I turn, his hands are still out where he was ubuttoning the back and he’s watching me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, stepping forward. He grips some of the loose fabric and tugs on it, making me concede a step. “I’m not trying to make a move on you or anything, I just want to see you. Stop hiding from me.”

“No.”

His eyebrows raise. “No?”

“No.” There’s a bite to my voice and I think he likes riling me up.

His eyes flick down to where the dress hangs loosely at my chest. Only my hands keep it up. “Do you have anything on underneath that gown?”

My cheeks heat. “Of course, I do.”

“Then it’s not like I’m about to see you naked. Why are you hiding? Let me see you.”

Proving once again that I am the epitome of grace, I start to back up, shaking my head, but end up stepping on the hem of my dress. I manage to hold onto it with one hand, while the other pinwheels to keep my balance, but it’s no use. Closing my eyes, I’ve accepted that I’m likely about to crack the back of my head on one of the side tables, but then a strong arm wraps around me, catching me before I can bust my ass.

Lorcan sets me back on my feet, whistling low.

At first I don’t understand, but then I realize the dress has slipped, just a bit. Everything is still covered, but you can very much see the skimpy, white lace of my bra. It doesn’t take much deductive reasoning to figure out that I’m likely wearing the matching panties. Which I am.

His dark eyes are on my body, as if he can see said panties through the dress I’m still clinging to. “You’re wearing lingerie?”

I nod, figuring it doesn’t need an explanation. I clearly am. What he doesn’t see is the garter belt and thigh highs I’ve had on all night. They were Aelin’s idea. All of this was Aelin’s idea. I’ve never worn lingerie like this, and in all reality, I feel silly wearing them. I feel like a little girl, playing dress up.

“So you’ll wear sexy bridal lingerie, but you won’t have sex with me, or even let me see it?” His eyes are narrowed and the playful tone his voice had a few minutes is gone. “Why the hell did you wear this stuff if you don’t want me touching you?”

“Because I didn’t know who to expect when I walked down the aisle,” I snap, and feel guilty for my outburst when he looks like I just slapped him in the face. There’s a couple of feet between us now and it’s still difficult for my eyes to remain on his but I force them to. “Look—”

“You’re not sexually attracted to me,” he says, and I watch as he sorts out the words I spat at him. He rubs his jaw and I don’t know if he’s about to laugh or yell. He does neither. “I just married a woman who doesn’t want to have sex with me, not because she doesn’t want to have sex…but because she doesn’t want to have sex with me.”

It wasn’t how he imagined his wedding night. I know that. I get that. I understand that. I try a different approach as I tell him the truth. “You just aren’t exactly my type.”

If I expect my gentle approach to make a difference, I’m disappointed. He looks even more hurt at my bluntness. 

My dumb ass continues speaking even though it’s clear I should shut up. “I just prefer guys that are clean cut.”

He looks down at himself as if he’s assessing his tattoos, his piercings, that hair that’s a mess. He looks back up at me and his voice is low as he says, “Sorry to disappoint.”

I sigh. “It’s not—”

“You’re not who I asked for either,” he says, with that same intensity. “I asked for a hot blonde with big tits, not some chick that’s half my size and looks like I’ll break her in half if I so much as fucking touch her.” 

My back straightens and I feel a stinging in my eyes that I will away. “You’re an asshole.”

“I’m the asshole?” He laughs. “My own wife—”

“I’m allowed to say no to you, husband or not,” I hiss.

This time he truly looks taken aback, as if the thought of anything happening without consent makes him sick to his stomach. “You don’t fucking know me. I know you don’t want to have sex. I would never ignore what you fucking want. I was just trying to lighten the mood on our fucking wedding night. This whole damn situation is too fucking awkward already and now we have to share a fucking room, so I’m sorry that I was looking for some sort of marital normalcy. But, don’t you dare accuse me of not understanding the word no. I wouldn’t have laid a fucking hand on you.”

He mutters something about this being confusing and stupid as he turns his back to me and before I can think of anything to say he’s walking out of the suite.

Just as he’s about to the door, he turns and says, “Let me get this straight. You don’t want to travel, you hate long hair, tattoos, and piercings, you’re short, you hate my music, and you aren’t attracted to me? Did I miss anything?”

“Pretty much,” I reply, voice quite. “Actually, I don’t hate your music, I just don’t…understand it.”

Of all the things from that list I could have corrected him on, I doubt his music is the one he wanted.

Scoffing, Lorcan comes back into the living room and drops down on the couch. “What the hell was the point of all the forms and questionnaires we filled out? I asked for a hot, tall, sexy as fuck blond with big tits, who would come on tour with me.” He looks at me. “Instead, I get a dwarf who can barely look me in the eye, doesn't want me to touch her, and won't get on a plane.”

I blink back tears and set my jaw. I won’t let him see my cry. “Yeah, and I asked for a clean-cut, good-looking, sweet, intelligent, hard-working family man. Instead, I got rockstar Tarzan.”

I swear, despite his anger, the corners of his mouth twitch up. The hint of a smile is gone as quickly as it’s there. “We got fucked. Hard.”

“Do you think they made a mistake?” I suggest hopefully. “Maybe put us with the wrong partner? There are other couples in the project.”

He thinks about this for a few moments while chewing his lip. “I don’t know. Both our names are on that card. It would be hard to confuse us with other people, neither of us have very common names.”

He’s right. It’d be hard not to notice. My head suddenly feels like it weighs about a thousand pounds, on top of the stupid dress I’m still clinging to. I sit down next him on the couch. “I don’t understand this. What were they thinking when they put us together?”

It’s quiet for a long moment before he sighs, letting his head fall back against the couch, and looks over at me. “I have no fucking idea. But I do know one thing.”

I hesitate. “What?”

He takes my hands, brushing a thumb over the wedding band he slid onto my finger only a few hours ago. It’s still so strange to see it there. “I didn't answer a thousand questions about what I wanted in a wife to just give up the first night.”

My hand tightens in his. “I didn’t either.”

“For better or worse, right?” He smiles, and even though it’s tense, I can tell it’s real. “I’m sorry I’m an asshole. It’s one of my more pronounced traits and I’ll work on it. You didn’t deserve anything I just threw at you.”

I swallow thickly. “I’m sorry, too. I haven’t reacted well to…any of this.”

“Neither have I, but from now on, if I’m being an asshole, you have my express permission to hand me my ass, okay? It’s your duty as my wife.”

I giggle. Actually giggle. “I think I can do that.”

“Good.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my ring. I don’t think I’m breathing. If he notices, he doesn't say anything. “So…here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna sleep in the bed, I'm gonna sleep on this couch, and we're gonna get some rest. In the morning, we're gonna get room service and order every fucking item on the breakfast menu, and then figure out where we're going to live. We'll start over and forget about long hair, tits, and tattoos. Sound good?”

I mean it when I nod and say, “Sounds good.”

We sit there for a moment, holding hands like awkward teenagers on a first date, then I slowly get to my feet. He watches me and there’s something in his eyes that I can't place, but I like.

It isn’t that he’s not attractive. He is, brutally so, he’s just not the kind of attractive I’d ever imagined going for. I can’t deny that I haven’t been watching the steady flex of his muscles all night, though. 

I wasn’t kidding. The guy looks like fucking Tarzan. I wonder how Jane felt about the whole long hair business. A haircut wouldn’t kill Lorcan, surely.

“I’m going to change,” I say, and he nods as I gather my dress against my body. I head towards the gigantic bathroom on the opposite end of the room before clearing my throat. I look over my shoulder to find him still watching me and I let my dress fall to the floor.

His brows shoot up as those eyes graze my body, taking in every inch of that sexy lingerie. With him looking at me like that, I don’t feel as stupid as I had in the scandalous ensemble before. I step inside of the bathroom and turn to face him as I give him a small smile and say, “Never say I didn’t give you anything on our wedding night.”

With that, I close the door, leaving him staring after me on the couch with his brows high and his lips parted. 

On the other side of the door, I hear him mutter, “Fuck.”

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Six}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

“Are you working Friday night?”

The question surprised Elide as she ate a bowl of cinnamon cheerios on Tuesday morning. She finished the bite she was chewing, and shook her head. “I work from five to two.”

Aelin shuddered. “I don’t know how you and Rowan manage to get up so early. The only reason I want to be up at five in the morning is for good sex.”

Elide quietly laughed, knowing that she wasn’t exaggerating. On more than one occasion, she’d been getting ready for work, and had heard Rowan telling Aelin goodbye for the day. She’d also heard her greeting him when he got home from work, and, of course, saying goodnight.

Elide had no doubt that the two of them had a very healthy sex life, and she was sure having an unexpected roommate had likely put a damper on that.

But both Rowan and Aelin did everything they could to make sure she understood that she wasn’t a bother. They wanted her to stay as long as felt comfortable, and she knew they meant it, but little by little, she was realizing that…she might be ready to get out on her own.

It had been a little over a week since Roland’s surprise visit at the gym and she hadn’t seen or heard from him. Elide prayed that he had taken Lorcan’s threat to heart.

Lorcan, on the other hand, had stopped in every day to check on her, to ask how she was doing, feeling. He texted her when he knew she was supposed to be getting home, making sure she was safe and sound. It made her smile, even if his texts consisted of nothing but him checking on her. There were times she wanted to keep the conversation going, but didn’t know what to say. So every night, she let it drop.

“So, Friday night,” Aelin said, pulling Elide from the spiral of her thoughts. “Rowan is trying to get a night out planned. Pretty much everyone is off and that never happens. You want to come?”

Elide loved that Aelin never pressured her to go out, but the reality of it was that Elide loved spending time with them. She had begun to form relationships with Aedion and Lysandra, and of course, Lorcan. Everyone was so genuine and simple and kind that Elide wondered how she had never found a group of friends like this, friends that could eventually be family. Aelin had always been family and now Rowan was beginning to feel like it, too. And Lorcan…Elide didn’t know what Lorcan was to her yet, all she knew was that she wanted him there.

“Of course,” she replied, shoving another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. “The bar?”

“Ro won’t tell me,” Aelin said, rolling her eyes. “He says he wants to change it up. He always says that and guess where we end up?” 

Elide laughed and guessed again. “The bar?”

“That damn bar,” Aelin muttered but humor lingered in her gaze. “I think a vineyard would be fun, but the boys would probably hate it.”

Elide had the image of Rowan, Lorcan, and Aedion with wine glasses, wearing stuffy shirts, and yeah, even in her head, they looked pretty miserable.

“At least the bar is like home,” she said, finishing her cereal and putting the bowl in the sink. She’d wash her dishes after she got off work. “I’m there, no matter where we go.”

“Great.”

Aelin’s sparkling smile made Elide’s heart feel like it was about to burst. Without thinking about it, she wrapped her friend in a hug. Aelin clearly hadn’t been expecting it, if her huff of surprise was any indication, but it quickly turned into soft laughter as she hugged her back.

Elide pulled back and said, “I’ve said it about a thousand times, but thank you for everything. You’ve…done so much for me.”

“Family takes care of each other.”

There was no room for argument in Aelin’s words, so Elide nodded and hugged her again before heading off to work.

……………….

The rooftop bar had one of the best views in all of Orynth. Elide couldn’t stop staring from where she stood at the railing, watching the sunset. She wasn’t sure why they didn’t come here more often. It was amazing.

There were more of them than she was expecting. Lorcan, Lys and Aedion were there, of course, but she’d also seen a few people she didn’t know, and even a couple she did, but hadn’t expected to see, like Manon. She turned from the skyline and looked at the people around her.

“Whose names do you not know?”

Lorcan walked up next to her and followed her gaze over the unfamiliar faces. She glanced over at him and decided she likely knew why they didn’t come here often, as she looked down at her own dress and heels.

Their usual attire of jeans, t-shirts, and workout clothes wouldn’t exactly fit in, but she wasn’t complaining as she took another quick peek at the way the suit jacket Lorcan wore fit his broad shoulders.

“Pretty much everyone,” she admitted, shaking her head.

He chuckled, the sound rough and dark and she swore, she could feel it on every inch of her exposed skin. It only increased when leaned back against the railing next to her, his arm brushing hers. One by one, he pointed them out. “Next to Lysandra, that’s Fenrys, he went to high school with Rowan and me. His brother, Connall, is around her somewhere. And Fenrys’ girlfriend, Asterin. Manon, you know, and next to her is Dorian, her boyfriend—”

“Dorian Havilliard?” Elide asked, interrupting.

He must have heard his name, because suddenly sapphire eyes met hers and he gave her a gentle smile as well as a wave.

“That’s him,” Lorcan said, and Elide looked over at his change in tone. “How do you know Dorian?”

Elide nodded towards where he’d started talking with Asterin again. “When we were growing up, it was usually just me, Aedion, and Aelin. But sometimes, if Aelin’s father and Dorian’s father were working on something, Dorian would be there, too.”

“I knew they’d known each other a while, but didn’t know how long,” Lorcan commented.

Elide was quiet for a moment before she quietly said, “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Lorcan’s arm pressed into hers a little more and she looked up at him. His eyes were already on her. After giving her a soft smile, he gazed back out at their friends. He rattled the rest of their names off, one by one. “Chaol, Yrene, Vaughn, Sartaq, Nesryn, and Gavriel.”

“Wow,” she said, looking at them all. “There’s no way I’m going to remember all those names.”

Laughing, Lorcan shook his head. “There’s going to be a quiz at the end of the night. Get ready.”

Elide couldn’t help herself from laughing, too, but as they both settled, she let herself really look at everyone here, people who all meant something to Aelin. And then she realized who was still missing, that Aelin and Rowan had already been gone when she’d finished getting and left.

Elide gasped softly. “This isn’t an average night out, is it?”

One side of Lorcan’s mouth kicked up. “Not quite.”

Elide’s eyes narrowed on him. “Tell me.”

“I can’t.” His grin widened.

“Yes, you can!” Elide had to control herself, had to force herself not to squeal or jump. “He’s proposing, isn’t he?”

“I promised not to say a word.” Oh, he was enjoying this. 

“I can’t believe he didn’t say anything to me!” Elide said, and Lorcan nudged her with his arm again.

“He was worried you’d tell Aelin. If it was a secret to her, it was a secret to you,” he said, and gestured to everyone else. “No one else knows either. We all get together a couple times a year, that’s all they think this is. They’ll announce it when they get here.” He looked at Elide, that grin remaining. “So, you know, when they get here, act surprised.”

Elide fought the urge to pout, to cross her arms, but if she did than her arm would no longer be brushing his and she liked that contact, liked that warmth, that stability. 

“I wouldn’t have said anything,” she said, at last. Lorcan laughed quietly as she continued. “I’m a very good secret-keeper.”

“Aelin is good at getting secrets out of people, though,” Lorcan muttered, shaking his head. “That woman is a menace.”

“You two can act like you hate each other all you want, but I know better,” Elide said, taking a very small step closer into his arm.

He noticed, because his eyes darted in her direction, slyly. “And why would you think that?”

“Your heart’s too good,” Elide said, simply. “And, as obnoxious as Aelin is, she has a good heart, too.”

“A good heart, huh?” He asked, taking a sip from the drink in his hand. “Well, you got obnoxious right, so maybe you’re right about the heart, too.”

She could tell he was teasing her, but she couldn’t stop the smile from growing as she thought about how happy Aelin was going to be. Not only was she getting to marry the love of her life, but she also got to celebrate with everyone she loved, with her family. And she’d included Elide in that.

“Do you want a drink?”

She looked up at him, finding his eyes, again, already on her. The expression on his face stole her breath, and the intensity in his stare had her forgetting how to speak. She nodded.

His eyes glimmered as he asked, “Can I pick?”

“Pick…my drink?” Elide blinked, not expecting the question.

“Yeah,” he breathed, and he gave her a smile that promised trouble. “Do you trust me?”

“I did until this exact moment,” she replied, narrowing her eyes at him. “I do have to drive home, you know?”

“You forget I know where you live, you know?” He was making fun of her. She loved it. “You live with my best friend. I can get you home if you get too sloppy.”

“Sloppy?” Her tone was incredulous, but she couldn’t stop her laughter. Lorcan was grinning by the time she was able to breathe again. “Fine, yes, you can pick my drink.”

“You won’t regret it. Be right back.”

He winked and, gods damn her, Elide felt a flood of heat in her core, as he walked away.

He wasn’t gone long, just enough time for the flush on her cheeks to fade, and then he was walking back towards her, a glass identical to his in his other hand. The liquid inside was just a shade lighter, though.

“Here you go.” Lorcan held the glass out and as she took it, their fingers brushed. “Enjoy.”

“What is it?” She thought about sniffing it, but realized that might look a bit strange.

He sipped his own glass, eyes bright with amusement,  and said, “Try it and find out.”

Warily, Elide put the drink to her lips and took a tentative sip. It was warm and sweet and…nutty. She took another drink, swallowing a larger mouthful of the liquor. Her entire body warmed as it hit her stomach, and she hummed in appreciation. “That’s delicious.”

“Maple praline whiskey,” he told her. “Strong and sweet. Just like you.”

Elide slowly lifted a brow. “Wow.”

He laughed, shifting his body so that his side leaned against the railing and he could look at her, straight on. “What?”

“Did you just flirt with me?” She asked, and she knew she was grinning like a fool. “Because that was a hell of a line.”

Lorcan shook his head and looked away. Gods, she loved that smile of his, mischievous and full of life. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Strong and sweet?” She repeated, sipping again from her glass. “Just like you?”

“Not a line,” he said, shrugging. “Just a statement. An honest one.”

Elide swore her cheeks were a bright shade of red but before she could say anything more, the doors to the rooftop opened and Rowan and Aelin walked out, hand in hand.

She was beaming. Every inch of Aelin was thrumming with energy and excitement and Elide’s eyes were already full of tears.

“Look at her,” she whispered, unable to take her eyes away from her lifelong friend. “She’s glowing.”

Lorcan didn’t say anything but Elide had a strong feeling that his eyes were not on Aelin. Instead, she sensed them on her.

She liked it.

Everyone grew quiet and it wasn’t until Fenrys said, “You’re awfully late for being the one that asked us all here,” that Rowan laughed.

But then he smiled down at Aelin, and the look they gave one another was so full of love and passion and pure adoration that Elide could feel it deep within her chest. 

Rather than saying anything, Aelin held up her left hand, her right still firmly clasped in Rowan’s, showing off the diamond ring sparkling in the fairy lights around the edge of the rooftop.

Lysandra audibly screamed and the entire rooftop descended into chaos as she tackled Aelin in a bone crushing hug and everyone realized why the two of them had been late.

Congratulations were said, hugs were had and tears were shed. Elide watched as she excitedly talked to those around her, so happy for her friend that she couldn’t put it into words. It was almost twenty minutes later by the time the happy couple found their way over to the far side of the roof, where Lorcan and Elide had been watching in companionable silence.

Lorcan wrapped Rowan up in a hug, patting his back twice, without saying a word, as Elide reached for Aelin’s hand. “Let me see!”

Aelin obliged, letting Elide get a good look at the stunning ring on her left hand. One lone diamond was set on a gold band, cut into an oval, but that diamond shone in the moonlight and Elide knew it would be absolutely gorgeous when it sparkled in the sun.

“It’s beautiful, I’m so happy for you both,” she said, hugging Aelin. She could feel Aelin practically vibrating with excitement.

“Thank you, we have to start planning! I’m so excited.” She gazed up at Rowan, who was already looking at her with adoration and devotion and—

Elide looked away as she felt a sudden pang of jealousy. Shame washed over her as she looked out at Orynth again. She was so happy for her friends, but she couldn’t help but wish that someone would look like that at her.

Roland used to, but how much of that had even been real? She’d loved him, had seen a future with him, had their future kids’ names picked out. Months later, it still hurt, knowing that that future was gone.

A soft brush of calloused fingers on the back of her arm had her blinking and coming back to the present. She hadn’t even realized she’d zoned out or that Aelin and Rowan had been stolen by Fenrys for shots.

“You okay?” Lorcan’s deep voice settled her, calmed her heart as she released a breath she hadn’t realized he’d been holding and nodded.

“You ask me that a lot, you know?” She asked, but the playful tone was forced.

He knew it, too. His smile didn’t reach his eyes as he said, “I just like to make sure. Does it bother you?”

“No,” she said, and meant it. She loved how attentive he was, how much he truly and genuinely cared. Elide hadn’t believed his sincerity at first, but he was sincere. She still didn’t know why he cared so damn much, but he did. “No, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Good,” he replied, “because I’m not stopping.”

That easy feeling settled again in the pit of Elide’s stomach, although her heart still held that stupid, heavy feeling. It lingered no matter how much she pushed it away.

The music that had been playing in that background was turned up a little bit louder and Rowan took Aelin to the middle of the rooftop, where a small wooden dance floor sat. A moment later, other couples began dancing too as the ballad played.

Elide sighed, that heavy feeling growing as she watched them all, so deeply in love. It wasn’t until Lorcan cleared his throat that she realized he was holding out his hand.

“Wanna dance?” He asked, and the tone of his voice sent chills down her spine. Low, rough, hopeful.

Elide couldn’t stop her smile if she tried. “Sure.”

She took his hand and was amazed at how much bigger his was than hers. It was almost humorous, how it nearly swallowed hers whole.

“I thought you didn’t dance,” she said, when he led her out onto the floor.

He chuckled, pulling her close to him. He took one hand in his, his other resting on her lower back. “Last time I checked, neither did you.”

“It’s a special occasion,” she joked, and his grin widened. His eyes remained soft, watching her, and she swore he saw it all, every inch of her in that moment. She felt bare, stripped, but not an ounce of fear.

“It is,” he agreed and pulled her just a little bit closer. Elide rested her cheek against his chest as they swayed and she found them again, Rowan and Aelin. They looked as if no one else in the world existed but the two of them.

“Beautiful,” Elide said, quietly. “How they see one another. That kind of love is rare.”

“I swear they knew the minute they met,” he replied, voice as quiet as hers. He laughed and she looked up at him. His face was much closer to hers than she expected it to be. “They were at each other’s throats at first, but they just seemed to…gravitate towards each other.”

She longed for that, for that intimate closeness where one person’s soul cried out for another. She’d thought she had that, but now…

The more she thought about it, the more she realized her entire relationship with Roland was akin to a cage, suffocating and claustrophobic. Never once did he look at her with the utter devotion that Rowan did when he looked at Aelin.

“Your smile is gone.”

Lorcan’s words snapped her out of her own head and her cheeks flushed as she knew she must have been staring at him. “I’m sorry,” she breathed, averting her eyes.

His fingers gripped her chin, making her look back up into his face, into his eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Elide wasn’t sure if she was breathing.

“Don’t let whatever you’re thinking about that asshole take your smile away,” he said, his thumb brushing just under the curve of her bottom lip.

It amazed her that he was able to guess where her mind went every time.

“I can’t help it,” she confessed. “I can’t help but think of all the warning signs I missed…of all the time I wasted.”

Lorcan subtly shook his head. “I’m sorry that you had to go through what you went through,” he said, and Elide’s eyes fell shut as he spoke. “But, please, do not let him take away a second of your joy, of your future. He’s not worth that. He’s not worth a damn thought.” When Elide opened her eyes, he still watched her, intently, and she realized that their movements had slowed. “You are worth so much more than he ever allowed you to feel. You are so worthy of happiness, Elide, worthy of the life that you see for yourself, that you dream of and hope for.” 

It was a simple sentence but those words held power. No one had ever told Elide that she held worth, that she was worthy. Not Roland who always made her feel like the second choice. And certainly not Vernon, who’d taken her in only to access her inheritance and broken her as badly as Roland had, if not worse. Yet there was a man in front of her who said the words outright, and Elide had zero doubt in her mind that he meant every word.

His dark eyes burned as they watched her, but Elide couldn’t think of a word to say. Thank you was not enough for the words he spoke, for what he meant to her. Instead, she lifted her hand and placed her palm gingerly against his stubbled cheek.

He leaned into that touch.

“I want to show you something,” he said, lacing his free hand with hers. He asked, once again, “Do you trust me?”

This time Elide didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

……………..

The streets of Orynth were quiet, despite it being a Friday night.

Somehow, none of their friends noticed the two of them leave, despite telling Aelin and Rowan one more round of congratulations. They were both drunk enough that Elide knew Rowan’s car would be left here tonight and they’d be getting a cab home.

Elide’s hand hasn’t left Lorcan’s since he took it, their fingers still intertwined. “It’s just up here,” he said, his deep voice sending chills down Elide’s spine.

She felt a thrill of excitement as he guided her to this secretive location.

Elide had grown up in Orynth but the city had changed so much in the past fifteen years since she’d been gone. Walking down the downtown street, she hardly recognized the city as she remembered as a child. 

They didn’t say much as they walked, but there was no need to. Lorcan’s thumb brushed idly across the back of her hand and Elide kept glancing up at him, unable to stop that smile that he seemed to make appear with every look.

Abruptly, Lorcan took a turn between two buildings and Elide was about to ask why, but then she saw it.

Lights were strung across the garden, lighting up the pathways that wove through flowers and bushes and trees. In the middle sat a statue of three of the goddesses, their bodies made of stone, entangled together and reaching up towards the heavens. It went as far back as the buildings surrounding it did, and Elide couldn’t help but step onto a path and drag Lorcan along with her.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, simply, looking around as they followed the pathway. “How long has this been here?”

“About a year,” he answered, playing with a ring on one of her fingers as they walked. “It was one of the projects done by the local schools. My unit partnered up with them, helped fund it.” He shrugged. “Turned out pretty good, don’t you think?”

“Partnered up with them?” Elide questioned. “Does that also mean that you came and helped plant all these beautiful displays?”

Lorcan laughed quietly. “Yeah,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Although, I was paired with this eight year old girl that was pretty intimidating. Everything I did, she said I did it wrong. Eventually I gave up and just supervised.”

Elide’s head fell back as she laughed. “Officer Salavaterre got bested by a little girl? I wish I could have been there to see that.”

“I learned a long time ago what battles to fight and when to walk away,” he said, shaking his head. “And that was a battle I was always going to lose.”

Lorcan led her to a bench, sitting down and watching her. She didn’t immediately sit though. Instead, she turned, moving to look at all the beautiful flowers and trees around them. Approaching a rose bush, she reached out and let her finger brush along a delicate petal. Her back was turned when she finally spoke. “You keep asking me if I’m okay and usually I am.” He was silent as he waited for her to go on, he didn’t dare breathe, in case she changed her mind about what she wanted to say. Plucking a petal from the rose, she turned and came to sit next to him on the bench. She stared at the petal between her fingers as she breathed, “I’m okay, but…I’m not. I am so unbelievably happy for Aelin, but I’m also so jealous. And that makes me feel like a bad friend.”

Admitting it out loud made it feel like even more of a betrayal, and when she felt Lorcan’s fingers beneath her chin again, she closed her eyes to hide from his judgement.

“It’s okay to not be okay,” he whispered and Elide could smell a hint of whiskey on his breath. “And it’s okay to want that. One day, you’ll have it and you’ll be as happy as Aelin.”

She still felt guilty for even having the thought. She couldn’t believe he was so calm, so understanding. “You’re always too kind to me.”

“That sounds like you disapprove of my kindness,” Lorcan replied, and Elide opened her eyes, fully taking in just how close they were sitting. Their knees brushed one another’s and when he took her hand again, he rested them clasped together on his thigh.

“I just honestly don’t know how to handle it,” Elide said, laughing quietly out of pure disbelief. Men had been nice to her before but they had always wanted something in return. There had always been a catch. With Lorcan, he was kind to her simply for the sake of being kind.

“You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect,” he said, voice low. “So I will treat you with such.”

His eyes fell to her lips before meeting her gaze again, and the movement was so quick that he surely thought she hadn’t noticed. She did, though, and the lone movement had her heart racing. 

“Lorcan,” she breathed, although she wasn’t sure what to follow it with. She had to say his name, though, had to taste the sweet sound of it on her tongue.

His eyes had gone dark and he was quiet. He sat still, so still that Elide thought he may be afraid to move, although she was unsure why. 

She couldn’t sit still. 

Not with him looking at her like that, with eyes so full of…longing. Longing that she had never known and although no one had ever looked at her that way, there was no mistaking what was in his gaze.

He wouldn’t make the first move, though. She knew that, knew that he was too much of a gentleman to close the distance between them.

So she did.

Leaning across the bench, across the few inches that separated the warmth of his body from hers, Elide’s free hand found his knee and she pushed herself up to meet his lips with hers.

His hand slipped into her hair, cupping the back of her head, the second she kissed him. There was no hesitation, as if he’d been ready. Waiting for her to make that first move.

The kiss was sweet and tender and she leaned farther into him. His other hand framed her face and he deepened the kiss, drawing a quiet gasp from her.

He pulled away. “I’ve wanted to do that since you hit my patrol car.”

Elide’s eyes flared wide and a short, surprised laugh left her. “That’s not funny.”

“It’s true,” he said, his lips finding the spot beneath her ear that drove her wild. How had he already found that? It was only the second time his lips had been on her. “This beautiful, headstrong girl who wasn’t going to let her past break her? You were the last thing I was expecting to crash into my life.” He tugged on her earlobe with his teeth. “Literally.”

She pushed him away, but he snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her closer instead and resting his forehead against hers. 

She laughed and shook her head, only stopping when he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She instantly responded, her body flooding with heat. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while, too,” she said, and felt lighter once the words were out of her mouth. 

“Yeah?” He breathed.

She nodded and their lips met once more. What started out as something soft quickly escalated into a kiss of utter passion and chaos. Lorcan pulled her onto his lap and she clung to him, never wanting to let go.

Once a few minutes or an hour or two or an entire night passed, Elide had completely lost track of time, but she knew it was getting late.

With her forehead against Lorcan’s, her lips swollen and her heart nearly ready to combust, she whispered, “I should probably go home. It’s getting late.”

Lorcan laughed, quietly. “Good luck. I don’t think your roommates will be getting much sleep tonight.”

Elide groaned, cheeks turning pink. She hadn’t even thought about that. While hearing occasional moans through the walls was not anything new, Rowan and Aelin were both newly engaged and drunk. It would be a night of sloppy sex, which meant little sleep for everyone within shouting distance.

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t work in the morning,” she sighed, making to climb off his lap.

He held onto her hips tightly, keeping her where she was, and Elide turned back to him, her hands landing on his shoulders. “Why don’t you come home with me? That way you don’t interrupt whatever is likely happening in the living room when you get home.”

She cringed as she thought about it, knowing he was right. She would likely be scarred for life when she got home, but to stay with Lorcan… 

I knew you were a lot of things, Elide, but I didn’t know you were a hypocrite.

Roland’s voice sounded in her head and she hated it.

What a little slut you turned out to be.

She hated him.

“Hey, look at me.” His fingers threaded into her hair again, turning her face to his. “I’m not trying to get you into bed, I promise. I just know that I’d be miserable if I had to listen to them for the next few hours.” He pulled her lips to his, kissing her softly. “And I’m not too proud to admit that I’m not ready for this night to end.”

Elide’s breathing was shallow as she admitted, “I don’t want it to either.”

Lorcan’s smile was genuine. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” She knew he meant it, knew he wouldn’t try anything that she didn’t want, but that was the problem. There were so many things that she did want, so many things she wanted to do to him, with him. “My hands will remain at my sides and I cook a mean breakfast.”

Elide laughed and took his face into her hands. She kissed him, slowly, and she could feel his smile against her lips.

“You can say no and I’ll drive you home,” he said, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “I just wanted to give you the option.”

The option. A choice.

It was something that Elide did not have much of in the recent years but she knew what her answer would be without even having to think about it. Maybe it was his self-proclaimed breakfast skills, but the thought of going to his place, of staying with him…

It brought her an overwhelming sense of comfort, of peace, once she took Roland’s voice that lingered in her mind and told it to fuck off. 

Elide pulled back and met Lorcan’s eye as she said, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Lorcan breathed, and then he was on his feet, taking Elide’s hand in his, and walking her back to his car.

Elide knew that Lorcan would not touch her, would give her her space, would leave her be to sleep in peace all night long, if that was what she had told him she needed. 

Yet, as they walked to his car, she contemplated if that’s what she truly wanted. As her thoughts ran wild, she realized that his distance was not what she wanted at all. 

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Five}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

——————————

Chapter T/W: Mentions of previous abuse.

——————————

The wine was set out along with a large display of foods that were not healthy, whatsoever. Elide didn’t care, though. Cheat days were necessary for one’s health, she believed. It’s what she told all of her clients and she only told her clients what she practiced herself. 

Although, she was certain none of her clients were looking at a table of wine, chips and dip, three pizzas, chicken wings, breadsticks, cookies, and brownies.

Elide was most excited for the brownies.

Rowan made them special, whatever that meant.

Which is why he was so pissed off when she and Aelin had kicked him out for the night.

Aelin had put some grapes in a bowl in the center of it all but Elide wondered if she really expected either of them to eat it. She loved grapes, loved most fruits, but it certainly did not meet the aesthetic of girl’s night. 

“Okay,” Aelin announced, coming into the room in her pajamas. “50 First Dates or Twilight. The first is a classic but we laugh more at the second one. So.” 

Elide laughed, falling onto the couch, still admiring the display on the coffee table. The sooner they chose a movie, the sooner they ate. “Twilight. Always.”

Aelin flipped through the stream until she found the movie and pressed play. After pouring two majorly full glasses of wine, they were finally able to indulge themselves. 

Elide started with a brownie and felt no shame. 

They were quiet for a moment, and it was only after Elide finished a slice of pizza that Aelin said, “Ro says Lorcan talks to you at the gym a lot.”

The statement was so out of the blue that Elide nearly choked on her breadstick. The mention of the man alone had her cheeks turning pink, and she had no idea why. 

Other than the fact that she found him ridiculously, ruggedly handsome.

“I mean, sometimes,” she said, once the coughing had subsided. “If he happens to come in when I’m finishing up with a client, we might get a smoothie before he starts his workout.”

Aelin said nothing, just sipped on her wine, letting Elide sit in silence. Waiting. Knowing she would ramble.

And she did.

“We talk, but he’s just being friendly,” she added. “We’ve talked about his dad—”

She froze, not knowing how much of his past he’d divulged to her. Rowan may be his best friend, but that didn’t mean his girlfriend knew his story. It wasn’t her story to tell.

And honestly, Lorcan hadn’t tried to hide the fact that he and Aelin didn’t get along. They had a long-standing truce of neutrality for Rowan’s sake, but it stopped there.

She didn’t want him to be upset with her, if this was something he kept private. The gods knew she wouldn’t want someone idly talking about her traumas.

Roland had thrown them in her face, and would likely have reacted even worse than before if he knew that she’d talked to not only Aelin about what he’d done to her, but Lorcan, too. Because, gods, not only had he hurt her, he’d…violated her. He’d come back home and gotten back inside her right after he’d fucked that girl in the bathroom.

There was no way of knowing whether he’d used a condom or not, what he could’ve gotten from her, and in turn, given to Elide. The only reason she has any peace of mind was the test that had come back clean two days after she’d arrived in Orynth.

He wouldn’t want her telling anyone anything about what he’d done. She silently prayed he never found out where she was to find out if she’d kept silent.

“It’s okay, I know about his father,” Aelin said, gently, noticing Elide had locked up. “He gave Ro permission to tell me a long time ago.”

Elide blew out a deep breath, shaking off the thoughts of Roland that constantly felt like a shadow in the corner. “It’s just… it’s nice being able to talk to someone who understands, even under different circumstances.”

Aelin nodded, thoughtfully. She grabbed another slice of pizza out of the box as she said, “I’m glad you have him to talk to. Lorcan had a rough life and, although we butt heads, I know he’s a good guy and means what he says when he says he wants to help you in any way that he can. That’s genuine.”

Elide smiled at the thought. Yes, Lorcan has been genuine. Kind. And she had loved her conversations with him.

“You can talk to me too, you know,” Aelin added, quietly, and it was so rare for her to speak that way, timidly, that it immediately caught Elide’s attention. “I know that I don’t have any experience in that area, but I love you, El, and I am here for you. To listen. Whenever you need to talk.” 

Elide gave her oldest, best friend a soft smile as she closed the distance between them by putting her hand on Aelin’s knee. “I know. And, thank you.” She nibbled on her bottom lip for a minute. “It’s hard talking about it with someone who has never been there, you know? I know you love me, Ace, and I love you so much, but there’s a…fear there.”

Aelin frowned, putting her hand on top of Elide’s. “A fear?”

Elide nodded. “That I’ll be judged. Or that… I don’t know. That, because you’ve never experienced it, that you can’t understand. That there won’t be…” Elide huffed, frustrated. “It’s hard to explain. And it sounds stupid, I know—”

“It doesn’t sound stupid,” Aelin said, quietly. “I get it. But, you know I’d never judge you. Elide, the only thing I care about is that you feel safe and confident and worthy. When you called me that night and I heard the terror in your voice…” Aelin’s eyes had turned bright, filled not only with tears, but white hot anger. Her hand on Elide’s tightened. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Every day.” 

“You’ve gone above and beyond for me,” Elide said, turning towards her, the movie on the television forgotten. “You’ve let me come in and disrupt your perfect life and are helping me start over. I promise, I’m looking for my own place, I just need enough for a deposit on an apartment and—”

Aelin broke a piece of brownie off and stuffed it in Elide’s mouth, effectively shutting her up. “You need to quit acting like you’re a burden. You aren’t, to me or Ro. We’re happy to have you here as long as you feel you need to. Not because you can afford it, but because you feel comfortable being on your own.” Aelin shot her a sideways glance. “He’s becoming quite protective of you. If I didn’t know he was madly in love with me, I might be jealous.”

Elide shoved Aelin with her shoulder as she finished chewing her forced brownie. “Madly in love with you, he is. You have nothing to worry about. He’s sort of stepped into the big brother role I never had.”

But always wanted, was what she didn’t add out loud.

“I’m glad you can be that for each other. It makes me happy.” She smiled and laid her head on Elide’s shoulder. “Lorcan and I aren’t a very good example of significant others and best friends being amicable.” 

Elide couldn’t help the laughter that tumbled out of his mouth. “I don’t know. He might surprise you. Somewhere deep down in there, he does care for you. At first, it may have been because you’re with Rowan, but now…he does care about you.”

Aelin snorted. “Yeah, okay.”

It was true. Elide knew it was true, but she didn’t bother trying to convince Aelin. She was as stubborn as she was loving. 

“Seriously, El, don’t feel rushed to get out on your own. We want you to be safe, and feel safe.” She squeezed her hand. “You’re family, no matter whether you’re blood or not.”

Family.

Elide’s throat tightened as she hugged Aelin tightly. There were no words for the gratitude she felt for her friends and as she pulled back, she didn’t try to hide the tears lining her eyes.

Aelin didn’t either, but reached for her wine and said, “Come on, we have to finish this bottle of wine before Bella figures out he’s a vampire.”

Elide laughed, but raised her glass as they settled in, her heart lighter than it had been in days.

……………….

Elide was grabbing her bag after her last client of the day, ready to go home and relax, when Ansel, one of the other trainers, stuck her head in the door of the locker room. “There’s someone downstairs for you.”

Butterflies started in her stomach. Lorcan had been in for a workout with Rowan earlier in the day, and she wasn’t expecting to see him again. She wasn’t going to complain though, not when seeing him had become her favorite part of her day.

Even if she wouldn’t admit that to anyone, even Aelin.

“Thanks, I’ll be right down,” she smiled, suddenly very mindful of how sweaty she’d gotten during her last session. Manon was one of the few people she trained who wasn’t there for therapy, which means the workouts they did kicked Elide’s ass just as hard as Manon’s.

Ansel winked and headed back downstairs and Elide turned to the mirror along the far wall.

Hairbrush.

She needed a hairbrush.

And deodorant. 

She dug through her bag until she found what she needed. After brushing her hair and pulling it back in a ponytail, she applied her deodorant and looked back in the mirror. Lorcan had seen her far sweatier and out of sorts, and he didn’t seem to mind.

Besides, she thought she looked cute as hell.

After slinging her bag over her shoulder, she hurried downstairs and crossed the floor. She was about halfway through the line of treadmills when she slowed to a stop. Her bag fell from her shoulder and hit the floor.

Elide’s feet were frozen in place.

It had been a little over a month since Elide had last seen him. It had been a little over a month since she had called Aelin in a panic, asking for somewhere to stay. It had been a little over a month since she had decided to stay in Orynth, hours away from him. Yet, there he was, standing in her place of employment, smiling and flirting with Ansel as if he was an old friend, stopping by.

His blonde hair shone beneath the lights and when he caught Elide’s eye, he flashed her a bright, toothy grin.

“Elide.”

“Roland.” His name out of her mouth felt wrong as terror shot through her body.

Suddenly, she was right back to where she had been that night, thrown across the floor, afraid she wouldn’t live to see another day. She couldn’t move her feet, couldn’t feel her body. She was paralyzed and the whole gym was there to witness it. 

“Come on, Elide,” Roland crooned, meandering in her direction. “It’s been a while. The least you could do is say hello, ask me out for a drink, a chance to catch up.” 

She was enraged and terrified, all at once. The fact that he could stand here, flirting with someone right in front of her, showed just how little he cared that he’d cheated on her. That he thought he could just waltz back into her life.

That he was here, in Orynth. Not only in Orynth, but where she worked. Relentless had become a sort of haven for her, a place where Roland didn’t exist in real life or in her head.

Yet here he was

“How did you find me?” She breathed, as he stopped in front of her, far too close than she was comfortable with.

Breaking eye contact, he bent down to where she’d dropped her bag and picked it up, looping it over his own shoulder. “We can talk about that over a drink. Let’s go.”

His hand closed around her wrist and she pulled back. “No.”

Desperately, she looked around for anyone that could help. It was almost eight o’clock at night, so very few trainers were left. Ansel had disappeared somewhere and the two others in the gym were focused on their clients.

“Let’s go, Elide.” His smile was still in place, but his eyes were chips of ice. “There’s quite a few things you and I need to talk about.”

He caught her hand. Threading their fingers, and clamped down, hard. Elide bit down on her cry of pain, her body rejected both fight or flight mode in favor of shutting down completely. She had no hope of wrenching her hand free, not as his tightened even more.

He began dragging her to the door and that panic in the pit of Elide’s stomach grew. She had made so much progress, had come so far, had started to feel free, and now here she was, right back to where she started.

But it didn’t last long.

Elide was still struggling to get free, was still trying to tear her hand free from his grasp when she heard her name.

“Elide.”

She looked over her shoulder as Roland came to a stop in front of her. His grasp on her hand tightened, painfully.

Lorcan stood there. His body was relaxed, his hands shoved into his pockets, but the look in his eye…it was lethal.

“Everything okay?” he asked, when it was clear she wasn’t going to say anything.

“We’re fine,” Roland began, and Lorcan stepped closer to them. “We were just going for a—”

“I was talking to Elide,” Lorcan interrupted, jaw locking. He looked at Elide and saw the panic, the chaos in her eyes. 

She couldn’t speak. She was in a prison of terror and she hated it, hated this torturous feeling, hated that he had such a hold on her. She hated him, loathed this man, and yet she was unable to form a single sentence towards him. Elide’s eyes fluttered shut and she told herself to breathe.

She tried to yank her hand free, again.

Roland’s grip tightened.

Lorcan tracked it.

“I’m going to ask again,” Lorcan said, and when Elide opened her eyes once more, he was right beside her. “Is everything okay?”

She gave him the barest shake of her head and that was all it took for Lorcan to move.

It was clear that Roland had been expecting him to lunge towards him, to go on the offensive. So when Lorcan’s arm snapped out, wrapping around Elide’s waist and pulling her towards him, he hadn’t been ready. He lost his grip on Elide’s hand and Lorcan had her behind his back before Roland could react.

“Drop her bag.” It was clear that Lorcan’s words weren’t a request.

Roland’s grip on the strap tightened. His eyes left Lorcan and settled on Elide. “You and I need to talk, Elide. You need to understand a few things.”

“No,” Lorcan said, stepping forward grabbing the strap. “You need to understand something. I don’t know who you are, but I have a pretty good idea of who you might be. If that’s the case, you’ve got about three fucking seconds to drop her bag, turn around, and get out of this city.”

Roland dropped the bag, but he didn’t move, a smirk on his face. “I knew you were a lot of things, Elide, but I didn’t know you were a hypocrite.”

She was half hidden behind him, and her voice was far stronger than she expected it to be. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You left me, yet here you are. What was it you said to me?” His eyes had finally left Elide’s and were back on Lorcan. “Balls deep in some whore?”

“You need to back up,” Lorcan warned.

“Or what, hmm?” Roland asked, taking a step towards Lorcan. Elide had to admit that the asshole  had courage. Lorcan stood about six inches taller than him, and he surely had a hell of a lot more muscle. Yet, Roland stood his ground. “What are you going to do to me if I don’t?”

Lorcan let out a low, humorless laugh. “I will make you regret that decision, very quickly.”

Elide noticed that Rowan was there too, now, standing by the front door with his arms crossed. His eyes were on Roland, unwavering. 

Roland’s jaw locked as he looked from Lorcan to Elide. “This is ridiculous. Get your bag, Elide, we’re leaving.”

“Elide isn’t going anywhere,” Lorcan growled. 

“Elide can make her own fucking choices,” Roland snapped, and Elide thought that was priceless. He never let her make her own choices, not without getting pissed off and throwing a fit. 

Perhaps it was that reason that made Elide say, “I’m not going anywhere. Not with you.”

Roland took a step towards her but Lorcan didn’t allow it. Instead, Lorcan was shoving him backwards, and Roland nearly lost his footing as he stumbled backwards.

“I’ll call the cops,” Roland threatened, knowing this was a fight he couldn’t win. Trying to take the easy way out.

This time Lorcan’s laugh was more genuine, but darker. He reached into his back pocket, Roland flinching until he saw that Lorcan pulled out a small, black square, no larger than a wallet. Until Lorcan showed him what it was.

His badge, gleaming in the gym’s overhead lights. “Already here.”

Roland swallowed, his eyes flashing between Lorcan and Elide. Finally, he said, “This is your last chance, Elide. Come with me now or this is it.”

“It was over when you put your hands on me,” she said, stepping out from behind Lorcan. “I never want to see you again.”

Roland’s eyes narrowed. “You’re making a mistake. Him? Over me?”

“I’ll say it nicely one last time,” Lorcan said, voice promising violence. “Get the fuck out before I make you.”

Roland’s eyes darted between Lorcan and Elide before settling on his former girlfriend. “Elide?”

“I’m not choosing him over you,” Elide said. Her voice was quiet, but it was firm. “I’m choosing me, my life, what I want, and you are not a part of it.”

Lorcan said nothing, but he remained where he stood, planted between them, one hand holding his badge and the other flexing, opening and closing into a fist he so desperately wanted to use. 

Roland was practically shaking. “This is—”

“One more word and I will grab you by the neck and throw you out onto the fucking street,” Lorcan growled, and Elide could tell that he was holding back. She had a feeling that if she wanted him to beat Roland’s ass, he would have. 

And that was proven true when Roland made a move towards Elide, hand outstretched. He only made it a step before Lorcan had his hands behind his back and pressed up against the nearest wall. Lorcan held Roland’s body flat against it, unable to move. To his delight, Roland let out a yelp of pain from the impact of his face hitting the wall.

“Now,” Lorcan began, voice low, mouth only an inch from Roland’s ear, “I could beat your ass here and now, but I’ll stay civil. When I let go, you’ll leave this establishment and never return. Shit, you’ll leave Orynth and never return. Elide doesn’t want to press charges against you, and I’ve decided to respect that, even if it’s the last thing I want to do because it would make me so fucking happy to see your ass tried.” Lorcan shoved him up against the wall harder, and Roland grunted. “You leave and go home, and it will be the last you ever see of me, but so help me gods, if I ever see or hear that you’ve been around Elide again, I will have you behind bars right then and there. Is that understood?”

In an act of sheer stupidity, Roland muttered something under his breath and Lorcan asked again, “Is that understood?”

There was a quiet calm that had taken over Lorcan’s voice that rose goosebumps over Elide’s arms.

Roland swallowed, but said, “Yeah, whatever.”

“Good.” Lorcan released Roland, but by the time he spun around, likely deciding whether or not to swing, his eyes fell on where Rowan had made his way over to where Elide stood. His eyes were on Elide, even as Lorcan said, “One last time. Get out.”

Roland turned and started to leave, but said, “Not just one guy willing to play hero, but two? What a little slut you turned out to be.”

Shame, regardless of whether Roland’s words were true, washed over Elide, but to her surprise, it wasn’t Lorcan who moved. It was Rowan who grabbed Roland by the collar, punching him squarely in the face.

Blood sprayed and Roland cursed, falling back on his ass. Rowan grabbed one of the towels off the counter by the door, tossing it into Roland’s bloody face. “Get out of my gym.”

He scrambled to his feet, clutching the towel to his nose. He wasn’t looking at either of the men as he said, “You’ll regret this.”

“I doubt that,” Elide said. “Goodbye, Roland.”

He hesitated as he looked from Elide to Lorcan, then to Rowan before meeting Elide’s weary gaze. He shook his head and left, clutching his nose as he hurried out the door. 

Lorcan watched him go, watched him get into his car and drive away before turning to face a trembling Elide. “Are you okay?” He whispered.

She nodded but it was a lie. No, she wasn’t okay but yes, she was at the same time. Having him show up in her place of comfort had left her feeling violated, but she had also said her piece. And having friends like Lorcan and Rowan there who stood up for her, who protected her… It made her feel whole. 

Lorcan watched her, worry creasing his brow, but before he could say anything more Elide was coming toward him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her cheek against his broad chest. He hesitated for a moment but then his arms were around her, holding her close to him.

“Thank you,” she said.

Lorcan’s arms tightened in response but Elide didn’t let go. She held onto him in the middle of the gym until she once again found her peace.

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Three}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

Elide was on her way to Rowan’s gym for her interview when the panic settled in, but only because she was running late. Not by the world’s standards. Oh no, Elide went by the motto that to arrive early was to be on time, and to be on time was to be late. She had hoped to arrive with ten minutes to spare, but she was cutting it close as she rounded the corner of First Street and Havilliard Ave. 

She had applied to a few jobs in the past two weeks since her arrival, but none of them had excited her as much as this one. When Rowan claimed that his gym was looking for a personal trainer, Elide had been hesitant at first, but after seeing her other options, she decided that this one came closest to her passion. She had graduated with her degree in sports medicine a couple of years before and had yet to do anything with it. She wasn’t sure what her end career goal was, not yet, but this would be a start. 

She hoped and prayed to the gods that she got the job, although she was feeling pretty good about it. She had worked on her resume, with Aelin’s help, and went through possible interview questions over and over again the night before.

Her resume.

With a curse, Elide reached over to her passenger seat and threw her bag on the ground. For a second, she thought she had left it sitting on the counter and would have been pissed to have to turn around. The breath she had been holding left her body, though, as she flipped open the red folder and saw her resume inside.

As she looked back up at the road, another curse - much more foul - flew out of her mouth as she slammed on her breaks. 

One second too late.

Her car slid to a halt but not before her bumper collided with the car in front of her’s. 

A car, which had blue lights on top and the familiar black and blue paint of Orynth PD.

Elide cursed, a word so filthy that Aelin would have been proud of her, and let her forehead fall against her steering wheel.

She heard the door of the vehicle in front of her open and close, thankful he didn’t bother to turn on the lights or siren. This would be mortifying as it was. Steeling herself, Elide took a deep breath and opened her own door.

The man inspecting the rear bumper of his car was tall, really tall. Most people were tall to Elide, considering she was a mere five foot one, but he towered over the other people passing on the sidewalk.

As she approached, Elide said, “I am so, so sorry,” but froze as she was taking a step.

He was…so handsome.

Not in the traditional sort, with the long hair tied in a knot at the back of his head or the scar slashing through his left eyebrow, but he was…rugged in a way that Elide had never found particularly attractive.

Until this exact moment.

She swallowed and remembered how to speak. “I’m so sorry, I should have been paying closer attention.”

He looked from her to his bumper then back at her again. “You dented my bumper.”

Elide blinked, hesitated. “I can pay to have it fixed.” 

The rugged, handsome cop looked over Elide’s shoulder at her car before meeting her gaze, once again. “Can you?”

Elide’s cheeks heated. Sure, she didn’t have the nicest car in town, but it got her from point A to point B. She opened her mouth to tell him what’s what when he chuckled.

“Are you alright?” he asked. The question was so genuinely asked that Elide hesitated, once more. “Neck sore? Back?”

Elide shook her head.

“Might be tomorrow,” he said, simply, and walked closer to the front of her car. “Looks like you’re off easy. A little scratch is all.” 

Elide blinked, unsure of how to react. “I’m sorry, should I give you my insurance information?”

The side of the cop's mouth ticked up and she got the feeling he was suppressing a grin. “Would you like to give me your insurance information?”

Elide did not. She didn’t tell him that, though.

“Let’s start with you telling me why you weren’t paying attention to the road,” he said, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he leaned against the back of his patrol car.

“I’m on my way to a job interview,” Elide said, the words tumbling out of her. “I thought I forgot my resume at home. I was checking I had it.”

“Hitting a cop on the way to a job interview doesn’t bode well for that, does it?” He asked and Elide genuinely wasn’t sure if he was messing with her or not.

“No?”

He laughed and asked, “Where’s your interview?”

“Relentless Gym.” She was starting to worry she might be late, and added, “At ten o’clock.”

He glanced down at his watch and said, “You better hurry then. Only a few minutes to spare.”

He turned, heading back to his car and if Elide was smarter, she would have let it go, would have let him get back in his car and get in hers and hope to the gods she wasn’t late for her interview.

But she’d never considered herself very smart.

“Am I…not in trouble?”

He had reached his door and opened it, leaning an arm on the roof. Again, he threw her question back to her. “Would you like to be in trouble?”

“No, I—” She released a deep breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I just don’t understand why you aren’t at least writing me a ticket. I…hit you.”

He shut the door and came back to stand in front of her. “You seem like you’re having a rough morning and I don’t see a reason to add to that.” He gave her a slight smile and added, “On top of that, my shift ends in about three minutes and writing you a ticket for a fender bender would give me way more paperwork than I feel like doing. Plus, it’s not actually my car. It’s the department’s. If you hit my car, I’m sure I’d be much more upset.”

She stared at the man, unsure of what to think. She was grateful, sure, absolutely, but usually her luck didn’t quite play out like this.

Ever.

He lifted a dark, humored brow. “You’re going to be late.”

Elide stilled. “What?”

He chuckled. “For your interview.”

“Oh!” Elide gasped, reaching out to shake the cop’s hand. He looked at her hand for a second before shaking it, and she was sure he thought it was weird because as it was happening, Elide also thought it was weird. But, it was either a weird handshake or throwing her arms around a stranger for a hug and she just wasn’t up for that amount of awkwardness today. “Thank you. Really.”

He nodded, muttering, “You’re welcome,” and that was it before he got in his car and drove away. 

Elide fell behind the wheel of her own care, careful to look every direction before putting her car back into drive.

She arrived at the gym right on time.

—————————

Elide had never expected to get hired on the spot, but Sellene, the gym’s owner, had asked her to start the very next day. She wouldn’t have any of her own clients yet, but she would work one on one with the one of the trainers that’d been there for years.

She was back the next morning, thankfully not having crashed into any attractive police officers on the way. Sellene introduced her to each of the staff one by one and showed her the facility.

As they topped the stairs to the administrative offices, Elide halted. “Rowan?”

He turned from where he’d been looking through some paperwork and smiled, walking over to them. “Surprise?”

She laughed and shook her head. “When Aelin said your gym, I just thought she meant you worked out here.”

“Well, I do work out here, but my family owns it,” he replied, nodding to the woman beside her. “Sellene is my cousin.”

“And Rowan is my best trainer,” Sellene smiled, coming up behind them. She looked at Elide as she winked and added, “For now.”

Elide laughed quietly as she looked at Rowan. “I hope there was no bias in the decision to hire me.”

“You’re more than qualified,” Rowan promised.

“Ro will train you this week, show you the ropes. You’ll shadow him, just see how we do things. Next week you can start building a clientele of your own,” Sellene explained. “How does that sound?”

“Sounds good to me,” Elide said, clapping her hands together. “Starting now?”

“I’m ready if you’re ready,” Rowan said, and they parted their ways with Sellene.

Rowan was a good teacher. It wasn’t because the position was difficult, but Elide liked watching how he interacted with his clients. He was always respectful, always patient, always listening to what they needed. Elide hadn't had anything against Rowan thus far, had been grateful to stay with him and Aelin, but watching the love and care he put into his job only made her respect him more. 

It made the week pass by quickly.

By the time Friday came, Rowan kept joking that Elide was going to steal all of his clients. 

Aelin had told her that morning that they were going out to celebrate the successful end of her first week.

At first, she’d frozen, her spoon halfway to her mouth. She’d done her best not to think of Roland the past few weeks. She’d had to change her number after he’d started calling and texting her about a week after she left. She hadn’t heard from him since, but no matter the silence, she didn’t believe he’d let her go that easily.

On top of that, a night out had been the cause of this whole situation. It shouldn’t have been her first thought, but it was. Had she just gone out with Roland that night, none of that would have happened—

But it would have, she reminded herself. It didn’t matter what the catalyst was. Something at some point would have made him snap. Elide wouldn’t have been able to avoid his hidden wrath forever.

She was just thankful she’d been able to get out.

And she wasn’t going to let him steal the joy she’d started to find in Orynth.

“Aedion can’t wait to see you,” Aelin went on, her back to Elide as she made her coffee, “and his fiancée, Lysandra? You’re going to love her. And Rowan’s best friend, Lorcan, is coming. He’s always cranky, so don’t let him intimidate you. He isn’t nearly as scary as he thinks he is.”

Elide finished her bite of cereal before asking, “But he is kind of scary?”

“He’s massive, like unnecessarily tall,” Aelin explained, sitting across from her. “And he’s a bit of an asshole. But he’s been Rowan’s best friend since elementary school, so I’m stuck with him.”

Elide chuckled. Whoever this guy was, he couldn’t be horrible to be Rowan’s lifelong best friend. Rowan was a good man and a good judge of character. Even if Aelin did think she would find the man intimidating.

There must’ve been hesitation showing because Aelin’s shoulders relaxed, her demeanor softening. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. If you’re not ready, I understand.”

It was kind of Aelin to say so, but it was also kind of her to create a night that she would be celebrated. Besides, she had been thinking of starting to meet some of Aelin’s beloved friends and it had been years since she had seen her cousin. It would be nice to see Aedion and catch up.

So there she was, clocking out on Friday at six. She grabbed her bag and went into the staff bathroom to change from her workout gear to her jeans and tee that she deemed sufficient for a night out. She didn’t have much in the way of clothes, yet. Only what she had in the work out bag she’d had in the trunk of her car and what Aelin let her borrow.

Rowan had to stay another half hour to get some paperwork done but told her to go ahead, that Aelin was already on her way to the bar.

The bar was about ten minutes from the gym, right between it and the apartment. Charlie’s was their go-to, Aelin told her, thanks to Rowan and Lorcan’s long standing friendship with the owner. After pulling into a parking spot, she checked her phone, finding a text from Aelin that said she was inside and had a large, corner booth reserved in the back.

Flipping down the visor, Elide checked out her makeup one last time. She wasn’t one to usually wear more than some powder and a swipe or two of mascara, but she would be meeting people tonight, people she knew could become important to her.

Thankfully, the bulk of her injuries had healed completely. The only thing that still remained was a small cut on the side of her mouth, but even it was unlikely to be noticed in a dark bar. With a deep breath, Elide opened her door and headed into the bar.

It was a Friday night so the place was bustling with people, even though it was smaller in size. Aelin was exactly where she said she would be, though, waving at Elide from a corner booth. She already had a pitcher on the table and a tray of shots.

She wasn’t alone, either. Aedion was there with his fiancé, Lysandra, and Elide couldn’t help but gawk at her beauty.

The second she sat down, Elide was asking Aedion and Lysandra a million questions about their upcoming wedding, hoping to keep the conversation on their lives and not so much Elide’s. It seemed to be working just fine until Lysandra went to the bar to order a cocktail.

“Ace tells me you’re working with Rowan at the gym,” Aedion began, filling his glass. “Personal trainer?”

Elide nodded. “And massage therapist. It comes with benefits so I’m pretty excited.”

Aedion opened his mouth to reply but, to Elide’s delight, Aelin interrupted and changed the subject. “There’s Ro now.” She waved at him across the room. 

Elide followed her line of sight and froze. Not at the sight of Rowan, of course, but because of the familiar man that stood next to him with his hands shoved into his pockets.

Elide wouldn’t forget that handsome, rugged face anywhere.

Or his size.

“That’s Lorcan?” Elide whispered. “Rowan’s friend?”

“In the flesh,” Aelin said, rolling her eyes. “Like I said, unnecessarily huge.”

Her use of unnecessarily made as little sense now as it had the morning of her interview yet somehow, Elide knew she was right. Just for an altogether different reason.

Her next question was truly what was unnecessary, since she already knew the answer, but she asked regardless. “He’s…not a cop, is he?”

Two sets of gold-ringed eyes turned to her. Aedion was the one who answered. “Yeah, he is.”

Elide reached for one of the shots on the table in front of her and tossed it back.

Gripping her wrist before she could grab another, Aelin asked, “Do you know him? Is everything okay?”

“I sort of crashed into him earlier this week,” Elide cringed, refusing to look over her shoulder to where the two men approached. “On the way to my interview.”

Aelin’s hysterical and sudden laughter was the reason Elide reached for a second shot to follow the first.

“Do I even want to know what’s so funny?”

Rowan asked, glancing between Aelin and Elide, with Aedion snickering on the other side of the booth.

Elide knew she should turn around, knew she should just get this over with, but it seemed she was rooted to her seat, watching Aelin recover herself.

It took a moment, but by the time Aelin was done laughing, Elide was certain her face was bright red.

“Elide, this is Lorcan. Lorcan, Elide.” Aelin’s smile only grew wider as she made the introductions. 

Elide didn’t have to turn around because Rowan had slid into the booth beside Aelin and Lorcan stepped forward.

And halted.

He stared at Elide for a moment before a light sparked in his eyes. He didn’t exactly smile, but his lips grew softer as he asked, “Run into anyone else this week? Or, was that honor mine alone?”

Elide groaned, wishing she had a wall to hide behind.

Or another tray of shots.

Out of all the men in Orynth, this was the guy who was best friends with Rowan. It seems that Fate did have a sense of humor.

Lysandra returned then and looked from an embarrassed Elide to Lorcan, still standing at the head of the table.

“You just got here and you’re already causing problems?” She asked, sliding into the booth beside Aedion, careful not to spill her drink. “Sounds right. Brute.”

“I’m not the one causing issues,” Lorcan said, and now he was smiling, just a little bit. “It just seems me and Elide here…go way back.”

“Way back being Monday,” Elide said, words muffled by her hands, which were now cradling her face. 

Chuckling, Lorcan grabbed an empty chair from a nearby table and sat it at the end where he stood. “Heard you got the job,” he said, gesturing to Rowan as he poured himself a beer. “Congratulations.”

She was in the middle of the curved booth, having ended up between Aedion and Aelin. That meant he was directly across from her. Her cheeks were still on fire and she was wishing she had on a cute top like Aelin and Lysandra did. Suddenly, her tee and jeans didn’t feel as great as they had when she was getting ready in the gym locker room.

“Thank you,” she finally answered. “I made it on time, too, in case you wondered.”

“Good to know.” That smile was still there, hiding behind his glass as he took a drink. “Didn’t speed, did you?”

She could tell he was teasing her, thanks to the tilt of his lips and the mischievous twinkle in his eye, but Rowan shoved his best friend’s arm.

“That’s enough, Officer Salvaterre,” he interjected before Elide could answer, chuckling. “You’re off duty.”

Throwing up his hands, Lorcan shrugged. “I was making sure she got there safely.”

There were many more jokes made at Elide’s expense, but as the night went on, she realized just how comfortable she felt with them. She barely even noticed Roland’s presence in the back of her mind, not bothering to spare him a second thought.

Or she tried.

She had been staring at Rowan’s half empty glass, watching a droplet of condensation roll down the side, when she felt a light touch to her arm. “Elide?”

Aelin and Lysandra stood at the end of the table, where Lorcan’s empty chair sat. She had a feeling that wasn’t the first time Aelin had said her name. Rowan and Aedion were a few feet back, on the edge of the small dance floor.

“We’re going to dance,” Lysandra offered, with a smile. “You want to join us?”

Elide used to love to dance, but she’d never been allowed to dance with anyone but Roland, not even her friends. “No, I’m… I’m okay.” She forced a smile she knew was almost believable. “The people watching here is amazing.”

Aelin outright laughed while Lysandra’s chuckle was more subdued and was accompanied by a shake of her head.

“If you change your mind, come find us,” Aelin smiled and Elide nodded.

The crowd swallowed them up and Elide reached for the fruity, pink drink Lysandra had ordered for her. It was sweet, but it was strong.

And she was on her third of the night.

“You run everyone off?”

Elide’s head snapped up as Lorcan returned, a glass of whiskey in hand.

“Apparently,” Elide said, trying to keep her voice light, laughing softly. “You don’t dance?”

Lorcan looked over his shoulder at those dancing in the middle of the floor. It was a small bar. There weren't a ton of people, but still quite the mob had gathered.

Instead of answering, Lorcan asked, “You don’t dance?”

“No,” Elide lied, deciding it was the easiest answer.

He nodded and gestured to the booth. “Mind if I sit?”

She didn’t own the seat. He didn’t have to ask, but Elide liked that he did. She nodded. “Of course.”

Lorcan slid in the booth, keeping himself a couple of feet away. 

There was a calm quiet between the two, despite the music playing around them. It wasn’t deafening, like the clubs in Perranth that Roland had taken her to. It was just…nice background noise.

Lorcan set his glass on the table and turned towards her. “Look, you know I’m a cop. I’m sure you also know that Ro has told me about your situation.” A chill ran down Elide’s spine, but she said nothing. He continued, “Not in full detail, but enough. I know you don’t know me, but if you need anything, I’m here. Both on duty and off.”

Elide watched him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was being genuine or not. He sounded genuine. Embarrassment flooded her, her cheeks burning, and she wasn’t sure why. She had done nothing wrong, It wasn’t her fault what had happened. Yet, she wasn’t sure how she felt about Rowan sharing her situation with anyone. She knew he didn’t mean any disrespect by it and, as his closest friend, she was sure he told Lorcan everything. Elide had kind of dropped into their lives out of nowhere. She was sure that Rowan had needed an outlet, someone to talk to about it all.

She did not blame him for sharing.

“Thank you,” she said, at last, and she meant it although she wasn’t sure that she deserved this stranger’s help.

His smile was gone now but there was a passion, an attentiveness in his eye that told Elide that the offer was real.

She didn’t know what it was, but something about Lorcan thrilled her, made her feel safe and protected. Like he really did mean that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

She couldn’t figure out why that scared the hell out of her at the same time.

[swankii-art-teacher]

Too many sucky self absorbed men running around out there. Think Elide dodged a bullet on this one and leaves herself free to explore Lorcan when, hazarding an educated guess, Aelin sets them up...

'Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Two}

Elorcan. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab.

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide

—

I stand outside of the restaurant wishing I had brought a jacket. During the day, summers in Orynth are absolute perfection, the sun always shining and the temperature in the seventies, near perfection. At night, cool air drifts from the mountains and a cool breeze takes away what’s left of the warmth. It would not be so bad if my date had been here when I arrived, but there’s been no sign of him. I check my phone. I’ve already been here for almost thirty minutes.

I hate blind dates. The thought has terrified me in the past but I’m at a point in my life that I want a partner. I want to find love, as most people do, but the process of finding love is a painful endeavor. 

It has me standing out here in my finest dress freezing my ass off in five inch heels. Every car that passes me has me excited, borderline anxious, but it quickly fades to annoyance as they keep on driving and no one gets out. I check the time again. It has officially been more than half an hour. 

I’m not sure how long to wait before going home, but I’m starving so I decide to wait it out. The thought of chicken marsala and a glass of wine has my mouth watering to the point that I nearly go in without him, but I don’t. I only have so much money on me. Hopefully he offers to pay. If not, I may only be eating ramen until my next paycheck.

Which sounds delicious right now. Gods, I’m starving.

“Elide?”

I turn towards the sound of my name being called, my eyes falling on the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. His blue eyes smolder in the dim lighting of the restaurant behind us and I swear, you could use his jawline as a knife. He did tell me he was a model, and his profile corroborated that information, but I figured he was lying.

With those cheekbones, I know he isn’t.

“Yes, hey.” I smile up at him. At five foot two, almost everyone I meet is taller than me, but this guy is a good bit over six feet. Even in my ridiculous heels, he’s a lot taller than I am. “You must be Roland.”

“Yeah…” Rather than extending his hand to me or anything remotely appropriate to say or do on a first date, he proceeds to take a step back and look me over from head to toe. He doesn’t say a word, he just keeps letting his eyes dance over me.

Another chilled breeze stirs up my hair and I fight off a shiver. The smile is starting to feel more like a grimace, but I say, “If you’re ready, we can go inside.” He’s been studying me for nearly a full minute now, he had to have noticed I’m not wearing a jacket.

Roland bites his lip, a move I’m sure has drenched many a pair of panties, and crosses his arms. “Listen, you’re…not what I was expecting.”

I blink, floored by his response. “Oh…”

Gesturing to himself and then back to me, he explains, “I’ve got an image to uphold and you…don’t fit that.”

I try to keep myself from gaping. “I’m…sorry. I don’t follow.”

His eyes narrow and he looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Don’t make me be the bad guy.”

I jolt, nearly laughing. “What the hell are you talking about?” At this point, I’m freezing my ass off and I’m hangry. I don’t have time for this guy’s games.

“I can’t be seen with you,” he says, simply, shrugging. “You’re just not my type. You looked different in your pictures. Taller. More put together. Sexy.”

Taller? How does someone look tall in selfies? And more put together? “My gods, I—”

“Feel free to use our table. It’s reserved until nine.” He gestures towards the doors, backing up a few more steps. “The lobster is great.”

With that, he’s gone, and I’m left staring after him like a dumbfounded idiot. I’m not his type? I’m too short? I’m not even going to touch the sexy comment, cause he’s sort of right about that. If I wasn’t a damn lady, I’d be running after him, tackling him to the ground, and punching him right in his pretty boy nose.

But, I am a lady, so I grip my clutch a little tighter and walk the opposite way of the asshole, back to my apartment. I could take the bus, but I’m already so cold that I don’t want to wait at the bus stop. It’s only a few blocks and the walking should help warm me up.

The walk and the newfound anger brewing deep inside my gut.

Not his type? I don’t know who that guy thinks he is. I don’t know how he’ll ever find a girl that wants more than a one night stand. What he has in beauty, he lacks in any sort of inner attraction whatsoever. Not his type. Prick. 

Embarrassed and wishing I had never left my house to begin with, I walk as quickly as I can, although my choice of shoes for the evening protest with every step. I wish I had a car, but a car costs money and so does, gas so here I am, reinventing the walk of shame. 

I hope he gets hit by a taxi.

I should feel guilty for that thought.

I don’t.

I don’t live in the best part of town, but my landlord hasn’t increased my rent in three years. It’s probably thanks to the leaking windows, failing air conditioning, and the fact that the plumbing constantly backs up for no reason, but I won’t push my luck. Not when I can’t afford anything else without moving outside of the city.

I jog up the steps to my floor, ready to kick off the stupid heels the second I get inside, but as I stand outside my door, numb fingers fumbling with my keys, the door across from mine opens.

“Miss Elide, I thought you had a date tonight.”

I turn around and give Murtaugh a tired smile. “It didn’t work out.”

“That’s okay,” he replies, leaning on his door frame. “If it didn't work out, he didn’t deserve you anyways.”

You have no clue how right you are. “Thank you, Murtaugh.”

“You really should give my grandson a chance,” he says as I finally get my door unlocked. “He’s very handsome.”

“If he’s half as handsome as you, then I’m already out of my league.” I step inside, immediately ditching the heels by the door. “Goodnight, Murtaugh.”

His kind smile has been one of the only constant things I’ve had in my life for the past few years. “Goodnight, Miss Elide.”

We shut our respective doors and I immediately hear a tiny bell rushing towards me. A ball of black fluff appears from the hallway leading to the lone bedroom and then rushes towards me. Anneith purrs loudly as I add food to her bowl, despite it being almost completely full.

I leave the ridiculous heels by the door, wondering if it’s too late to return them. I know exactly where the receipt is, and they were only worn for my disaster of a date.

I sigh as I grab my phone from my clutch and head towards my bedroom. I’ve got a few soap orders I need to pack up before bed and last time I checked my email, I had three new orders placed, but I’m drained. I’d been looking forward to that date for days. Roland and I had been talking for a few weeks at this point and I really thought we’d hit it off. We had similar beliefs when it came to our futures and families. He knew I didn’t have a conventional “job”, just like he didn’t. We’d stayed up countless nights chatting and I…

I don’t know why I’m surprised. I’ve been single for almost three years, since Ress and I broke up. There’s a reason for that, clearly. I just need to accept my future as a cat lady and move on.

Before I start making matching T-shirts for me and Anneith, though, I call my best friend as I enter my room and unzip my dress. She answers on the first ring.

“I should not be hearing from you this soon.” Aelin, as always, is far too perceptive for her own good. “I shouldn’t be hearing from you until tomorrow morning when you call me to tell me how big his dick was.”

She says that as if that’s our normal routine, which it sort of is. Or at least, it used to be. It had been very one-sided while Aelin was dating and I was, by no choice of my own, nearly celibate. Then she met Rowan.

“No dick report tonight,” I sigh, tugging a baggy shirt over my head and a pair of comfy pajama bottoms. “We didn’t even make it into the restaurant and he was almost an hour late.”

Aelin is quiet for a moment before she asks, “And do I want to know why you didn’t even make it into the restaurant?” 

I sigh as I fall back onto my bed and close my eyes. “He took one very long look at me and told me I wasn’t his type. Then he left.”

Aelin is quiet for another minute and I prepare myself for her supportive wrath. “I’m sorry,” she starts, “he did what? Who is this asshole? Where does he live? I will burn his house to the ground and laugh as—”

“It’s fine,” I say, although her manic response has me laughing. “If that’s the way he was gonna be I don’t want to sit through an entire evening with him anyways.” Even if the sex would have been good, which I’m sure it would have been. I miss sex. I miss someone else making me orgasm instead of having to work so damn hard for it myself, but I can’t get with the one night stand program. It’s just not how I’m wired. “I think I’ll just pour a glass of wine and eat what’s left of the ice cream in my freezer.”

Aelin sighs and I know she’s frowning. “Hang tight and I’ll be there in twenty minutes with a full gallon.”

“No,” I say, pulling my blankets up over my head. “I know Rowan just got home. You’ve been missing him like crazy and I have the honor of seeing you all the time. Stay with him.”

“I don’t want you to be alone tonight,” Aelin says, and I have no idea how I found a friend so perfect and wonderful to keep for the entirety of my life. “You deserve to have fun, even if it’s not the fun you intended.”

I laugh and shake my head. “If you come here I’m locking you out. Stay home. I can’t imagine Rowan will like me very much if I take you away once he’s just gotten there.” 

She sighs dramatically, but the sound is full of love, and then a familiar deep voicerumbles over the phone. “Thank you, Elide.”

I laugh, despite how lonely the sound of Aelin’s boyfriend makes me feel. “You’re welcome. Glad you’re home safe and sound.” 

Aelin’s voice is much more clear when she speaks next and I know she’s got the phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?”

I can tell Aelin is torn between being a good friend and being a good girlfriend, so I make the decision for her. “I’m positive. I’ve got, like, six orders I need to work on to go out tomorrow, so it works out.”

It’s a crappy lie and I’m pretty sure Aelin knows it. Still, she relents. “I’ll come over right after work tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, now go enjoy yourself.” I rethink the words the second they’re out of my mouth.

“Don’t worry, I will.” I groan and she laughs. “I’m sorry your date sucked, but I promise, I’m going to find you the hottest, most amazing guy ever.”

Aelin had tried playing matchmaker for me before. It always ended horribly.

I’m shaking my head, despite the fact that she can’t see me. “I appreciate it, but you know me, I’m fine on my own.”

And I was. I’d been on my own since I was seventeen. A boyfriend wouldn’t change the fact that I can take care of myself.

I’m just sick of being the only one who does.

“I know,” Aelin says, as if she’s reading my thoughts just like she always has. “I love you. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Love you,” I say, and hang up as Rowan’s voice echoes in the background and Aelin giggles.

I’m happy that Aelin found someone like Rowan. They’re perfect for one another. I can tell she loves him every time he’s even mentioned. I don’t know how she does it, though, loving someone who is constantly gone. He’s always touring. When he is home it’s for a couple months then he’s gone for the rest of the year, only coming back for a week every now and then. I know he’s loyal to her but that distance… I don’t think I could do it. 

I wouldn’t want to.

I want a man who will wake up beside me every morning and go to his boring 9-to-5 job right here in Orynth. Not that I need a man. I’ve already established that, that I’m well enough on my own. Especially if the rest of the men in this city are anything like Roland.

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Four}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

——————————

Chapter T/W: Mentions of previous abuse.

——————————

Lorcan caught the medicine ball with a grunt and tossed it back to Rowan, who was standing across from him. Lorcan had been working overnights and early morning shifts, and today was the first day he got off in time to come work out with him. And it’d been a week since he found out that Elide Lochan had been the one to hit his car.

There was something that had made him pause, even during that first meeting, as ill-fated as it was. Sure, she was gorgeous and something about the way she was so tiny, she could fit in his pocket brought him way more delight than it should have, but he was fairly sure that it was the fact that even though he knew she bore scars from what had happened, both physical and not, but she was still willing to fight. Still willing to start over.

That took strength. Determination.

When the medicine ball was thrown back in his direction, he had barely brought himself back to earth as he caught it. He needed to stop being so distracted. Medicine balls didn’t feel great when hitting you right in the gut, or landing on a toe.

“Why does it seem like your mind is somewhere else?” Rowan asked. “You’ve been distracted all day.”

It was true.

Rowan had nearly lapped him on their run. 

“I have not,” Lorcan mumbled, throwing it back. “Long week at work. Long hours. I’m just tired.”

Rowan snorted, knowing he was completely full of shit.

They passed the ball back and forth a few times in that same companionable quiet before Lorcan asked, “So how’s Elide doing?”

Rowan’s eyes narrowed immediately. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” Lorcan asked, as he dropped the ball at the end of their set.

“Elide is off limits,” Rowan said, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his brow. “And that’s not from Aelin, that’s from me.”

“That’s not why I’m asking,” Lorcan defended, crossing the gym to where his water sat.

As he took a drink, Rowan got the next exercise ready. “Really? You two looked pretty cozy at the bar.”

“I’m not interested like that,” he replied, his voice carrying a little more bite than he meant for it to. “In case you’ve forgotten, I have a bit more sympathy for her situation than I would for others. I’ve been there, and I know how lonely it can feel, even when you’re surrounded by people that care about you.”

Rowan didn’t say anything and when Lorcan turned around, he had the good sense to look somewhat ashamed. “I was just letting her know that if she ever felt unsafe, whether I was on or off duty, that she could call me.”

“You gave her your number?” Rowan asked, clearly not expecting that.

It was at that moment that Lorcan realized that no, he had not given Elide his number.

He could tell that Rowan was trying not to laugh as he asked, “How is she supposed to call you if she doesn’t have your number?”

He mumbled, “I thought you didn’t want her to call me anyways.”

Rowan’s grin widened as he shook his head. “I can give her your number. You know, just in case she needs you, officer.”

Lorcan shot Rowan a look that has made grown men back up, but it only made Rowan’s laughter louder. “Fuck off,” Lorcan muttered. “I’m trying to be nice.”

“Nice is the last word people use to describe you,” Rowan said.

Lorcan took one last drink before tossing his water aside. “I’m incredibly nice.”

“Nice and helpful are two different words,” Rowan noted, running a hand through his hair. “I believe you want to help Elide, I do, but I don’t think you would have told her outright that you were there to help her unless you found her attractive in some way.”

Lorcan’s jaw locked. “Jackass.”

Rowan gestured for him to head over to the free weights. “I’m not gonna pretend to know her entire story, and it’s not mine to tell. And you may mean well, but you’re a pretty intimidating guy.”

Lorcan picked up two fifty pound dumbbells and started curling them one at a time. “What do you mean?”

He wasn’t expecting Rowan to laugh outright and when he paused his set to stare at him, Rowan stopped and stared at him. “You’re serious? Look at yourself, man. You’re curling fifty pounds like it’s nothing and you’re, like, six foot seven.”

He was six-four, but that was beside the point. “I’m not dangerous.”

“You may not be, but that doesn’t mean anything to someone that doesn’t know you.” He nodded to the weights. “Keep going.”

Lorcan started curling again, grunting with each rep. “She has no reason to be afraid of me.”

“She may not have a reason to be but that doesn’t mean she won’t be,” Rowan said. Lorcan knew that he didn’t mean anything by it but that didn’t make the words any easier to hear. The fact that Elide could fear him based on his size alone upset him in a way he couldn’t put into words. He understood it, though, understood it all too well. His mother had been much smaller than his father, too.

Lorcan tried not to let it affect him but failed as he continued his reps. 

Rowan sighed and stopped what he was doing to look at Lorcan. “It’s nothing against you, Lor. I just… I’ve gotten to know her these past few weeks. She’s been through some rough shit.” Lorcan opened his mouth to toss in his two cents, but Rowan cut him off. “I know you understand. I get that, I do. Create a friendship with her. Help any way you can. But I saw the way you looked at her the other night…just don’t try anything more.”

He could deny it all he wanted, but he found Elide attractive and intriguing. He wanted to know her, in all the ways that mattered, but knew it could be a long time before she even felt comfortable being around him.

He thought of how quiet she’d been at the bar the other night, when it’d just been the two of them. She’d been full of fire and bite when Aelin and the rest of his friends were at the table with them, but then it was just him and it was almost like she wanted to blend in with the booth. He’d thought she was just being shy, but maybe…

Maybe she was scared of him.

He’d have to figure out some way to show her his good intentions, that he wasn’t expecting anything from her, that he really did just want her to feel safe and protected.

He just wasn’t sure how.

………………

Elide watched as her client, who was recovering from a torn ACL, headed for the locker rooms. He was a football player, who’d blown out his knee in the final game of the season. He’d already gone through all the physical therapy, he was just trying to get as close to where he used to be as he could.

Most of the clients she’d picked up had all had some sort of major surgery. Thanks to her degree, Sellene felt she’d shine there, and shine she had.

“Hey.”

Jumping, Elide turned, dropping the clipboard she’d been holding.

Lorcan, Officer Salvaterre, stood behind her. When he noticed he had startled her, he hesitated. “Sorry,” he said, even though he stood a good four feet away from her. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

Elide let out a breathy laugh. “No need to apologize. I hadn’t even realized I was standing here in la-la land.”

Lorcan chuckled. “Happens to me all the time. How’s your day going? I know Ren,” Lorcan said, nodding to where her football client had disappeared. “He hasn’t looked that good since before his accident. Looks like he likes you, too. His last trainer just kept pissing him off.”

Elide laughed. “His last trainer was Rowan.” 

Lorcan grinned. “I know. They’re too much alike. They go way back, though. Have always bickered.”

Elide’s smile softened. There was something about Lorcan’s features that was hard, but welcoming. It was contradictory and hard to explain, difficult to understand, and perhaps that was why Elide couldn’t stop looking at his face, into his eyes. “Well, I’m glad to see he’s been improving.”

“Me too,” Lorcan said, then started rubbing the back of his neck. “So, I realized this morning that I told you that you could call me if you ever needed anything…but I didn’t give you my number. So, I thought I could do that. Or, you know, Rowan has it. You could get it from him.” A beat passed. To Elide’s humor, she almost swore he was faltering, stumbling over his words. “Or, you know, you don’t have to have it. I could…keep it.”

One of Elide’s brows rose as she bit her bottom lip. “You could keep your number?”

For a second, it looked like Lorcan had almost cringed, but then he nodded, slowly. “Yes.”

Elide stared at him for a moment, trying her best not to laugh. 

“Well, I’ll just let you go—”

“I was just going to get a smoothie from the bar,” Elide said, unable to hold that laughter back any further as she gestured to the juice bar on the far end of the main floor. “Care for one?”

She could have sworn he was about to turn her down, could see the rejection in his eyes and was waiting for the sting to hit when he asked, “Have you tried mango, carrot, banana yet?”

Scrunching, her nose, Elide shook her head. “Absolutely not. Fruit only for me.”

They started walking through the gym and Lorcan laughed. “Oh, come on. You can’t even taste it. And what kind of personal trainer cringes at vegetables?”

“Well, I’m not actually a personal trainer,” she admitted, as they stopped at the counter.

Lorcan was puzzled by that, as it was evident that she was damn good at it.

They each ordered, Lorcan getting the aforementioned mango, carrot, banana, while Elide went with pineapple mango and vanilla protein powder. There were tons or options to mix in, from protein powders to pre-workouts to recovery drinks.

As they sat at one of the few cafe tables they had in front of the bar, Lorcan asked, “What do you mean you aren’t a personal trainer?”

“I got this job, thanks to Rowan and my own rigorous gym techniques,” she laughed, stirring her smoothie. “But I have my degree in sports medicine. I’m helping people now, helping to better themselves, but I want to help them feel better when they’re hurting. A sports or massage therapist.”

Lorcan watched her for a moment, thoughtfully. “You should talk to Sellene about integrating that here,” he suggested. 

Elide smiled. “I did. I’m going to start massage therapy soon, after I get established with my clients.”

Lorcan nodded approvingly as their names were called out. He went to retrieve their smoothies and set them down on the table, Elide’s in front of her. 

“Thanks,” she said, and fiddled with the cup. “What about you? You’re a cop.”

Lorcan blinked. “I am.”

She laughed quietly. “Do you enjoy it?” 

“It’s all I have ever wanted to be,” he said, simply, taking a long drink from his smoothie. Elide had no idea how he could drink something so cold, so quickly. 

“Yeah?” Elide asked, intrigued, sipping from her drink. “Since you were a kid?”

Lorcan nodded and something flashed across his eyes that Elide couldn’t quite place, but then he smiled tentatively. “Yeah.”

She thought he would go on but when he didn’t, her smile began to falter. “Sorry, I didn’t—“

“No,” he said, quickly, afraid he had offended her. “It’s okay, I just…let’s say my dad is a class A criminal of sorts. Growing up with him…” he shook his head, and Elide did not ignore the way he said dad. “It made me want to protect people from others like him. So, as soon as I got out of high school I got my degree in criminal justice, and then I joined the police academy at twenty-one.”

“Wow,” Elide breathed. “That’s…so brave.”

It seemed that whatever Lorcan was expecting her to say, it wasn’t that. His cheeks heated, just slightly, and he shook his head. “That’s not why I do it though. I do it for the people who can’t be brave themselves.”

Elide looked away from him, her eyes landing on her smoothie. She was quiet for longer than she’d been before.

“I said something wrong.”

Her eyes found his again, and she saw the concern there. Quickly, she shook her head. “No, it’s not that you said something wrong, it’s just… What Roland did to me, and my uncle, it’s not that I wasn’t brave enough to fight back.” She gestured between the two of them. “It’s a lot easier to fight back when you’re not five-one.”

Lorcan watched her and she swore she could hear the wheels turning in his mind. She took another drink of her smoothie, playing with the straw.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.” When she looked up, he was already looking at her. “You’re here, starting over, putting the shit that asshole did behind you, and moving on. That’s bravery in itself.”

Suddenly, Elide’s throat seemed tight and she doubted it had anything to do with her smoothie. “Thank you.” She cleared her throat, blinking away what he could’ve sworn was moisture in her eyes. “I did fight back, by the way. Against my boyf— Against him.”

The fact that she nearly called that piece of shit her boyfriend after everything he’d done had Lorcan seeing red, but he willed himself to try and forget the name Elide had mentioned a few moments before, before he made a dumbass decision.

Instead, he gave her a smile, one he reserved for people who deserved it, and said, “I know you did. You got out.”

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Ten}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

Greece was beautiful.

Lorcan had never been but every thought he’d had about the little country had come to fruition. The hotel they were staying at was gorgeous, their room overlooking the beach.

The wedding had been perfect.

After eight months of planning, they got married outside at a venue with a massive hall that served as a chapel and an outside seating area surrounded by hanging lights. They ate and had a band that guided them all in dancing the night away. Elide had never looked so beautiful, dressed in white. Lorcan had never been as nervous as when he had stood before his future wife, in all her beauty, and spoke his vows.

He knew it was right, though.

Elide was the woman he was meant to spend the rest of his life with and right now proved it. After an absurdly long plane ride, they had checked into their hotel and were about to enjoy a week of paradise for their honeymoon.

Starting with going to the beach, per Elide’s request.

After changing and grabbing towels, they walked out of their hotel, straight out onto the beach, and headed for the chairs they’d rented for the week. Elide had said that if they were spending as much money as they were to be in Greece, she wasn’t going to be laying directly in the sand all week.

Lorcan was laying out Elide’s towel when he heard, “Oh, Lor, look!”

He turned, finding Elide holding out her phone to him. There was a photo of their black lab puppy on the floor next to the swing Rowan and Aelin’s eight-week-old son was in. Both of them were fast asleep.

“Best friends already,” he smiled.

“It was nice of them to offer to watch Hellas,” Elide said, spraying sunscreen on her legs. “Boarding him for a week would have been a fortune.”

Lorcan had bent down to grab down his water bottle from their beach bag, but as he stood back up, he saw Elide untying her top behind her back.

As she lifted the top over her head, he pulled both arms back by her sides and stepped in front of her. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” He asked, noticing that he may have brought her arms back down, but her bikini top had not fallen back into place. He could completely see her right nipple and the left was peeking out, the enticing swell of her full breasts on display.

Elide laughed, quietly. “This is a nude beach, Lor. I’m blending in with my surroundings and taking advantage of my chance to get a full body tan.”

Lorcan stared at her for a moment before looking over his shoulder. It was pretty late in the evening, the sun starting to set, and the beach wasn’t crowded by any means. Nonetheless, with those who were present, most were completely naked. When he looked back down at Elide in front of him, her top was long gone and she was untying her bottoms.

Lorcan hesitated.

“What?” she asked, grinning up at him. “When did you become the shy one? They’re just boobs.”

“They’re my boobs,” he muttered, glancing back over his shoulder. “And I’m not being shy.”

“Then join me,” she pleaded, untying the string that held up his shorts. “And they’re my boobs. I just let you play with them.” 

He grabbed her wrist and she stilled as she looked up at him with raised brows. His eyes were grazing her skin, lingering as they trailed down her body on all of his favorite parts. 

“If you pull these down, anyone who looks will be getting more than they bargained for,” he mumbled, as he pulled her wrist down far enough that she could feel the hardening of his length. “Pretty sure that’s frowned upon at nude beaches.”

Elide laughed as she laid back, sprawled out on her towel with not a thing covered. The sight of her didn’t help his current situation. “You’ve seen my body a million times. Surely you can control yourself just this once.”

“If you think that’s true, then you have no idea what you do to me,” he promised, laying down beside her. He got comfortable for nearly a minute before he was rolling on his side and draping his heavy leg across Elide’s waist.

She looked over at him. “Why do I have a feeling this isn’t for the cuddles?”

Lorcan sighed, pushing himself up on his elbow to look down at her. “I don’t want anyone else looking at that pretty pussy of yours,” he mumbled, and lust had filled his longing gaze. “Sue me.” 

Elide’s eyes flared before she looked around them. “No one else has even looked in our direction, you jealous brute.” 

Lorcan chuckled. “Jealous brute?”

“A fitting nickname, I think,” Elide said, but she was humored as she reached up to brush her thumb along his bottom lip. “Join me, Lor.” 

He bit down on the top of her thumb, causing her to gasp and snatch her hand back. “Again, if these come off, it’s not going to end well.”

“I think it will end wonderfully,” Elide murmured, stretching her arms above her head, letting her hands hang over the top of the reclining chair.  She bent one of her legs at the knee, baring herself just a little more— 

Lorcan’s leg found a home between her legs. Eyes on him, she smirked. “So touchy.”

He groaned quietly, the hand that was draped across her abdomen now rubbing smooth circles with his fingertips across her soft skin. “This is torturous.” 

“I’m having a great time,” Elide said, simply, and he knew that her cheerful tone was meant to mock him. “I had a plan.”

Lorcan snorted. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

Elide nodded. “My plan is to drive you completely mad with lust, so by the time we make it back to the room, your rough side comes out.”

Lorcan’s fingers stilled on her abdomen. “When am I not rough?” 

There were times he wasn’t as rough with her, although those moments were rare. They were sweet, though, when he was gentle. Yet, as sweet as those rare moments were, Elide loved it when he was rough, and he damn well knew it.

There were a few times, though, when that roughness of his snapped every tether holding him together and Lorcan was completely unleashed. 

Elide stayed quiet until Lorcan looked up at her, curiosity and desire brewing in his dark eyes, then she said, “I want to wait until you’re so full of want and need that you are completely and utterly untamed when you fuck me.”

“We could go back to the room right now and I can make good on that,” he promised, eyes impossibly dark in the setting sun. “Just say the word.”

She settled back on the chair, her eyes closed, the sunset gilding her skin in gold. Her arms were still stretched above her head, which left her breasts on full display. “I’m good here for now, enjoying the sound of the waves, the smell of the ocean.” An eye cracked open. “You’re more than welcome to head back if you want.”

Like hell would he leave her out here.

“I’m fine,” he said, his hand starting to make its way up her abdomen, towards her exposed breast.

A couple walked by hand in hand, heading for the hotels at their backs. Elide gave them both a friendly smile, which they returned.

“See?”

She looked at Lorcan, finding him scowling at the man’s back. “What?”

“He was staring at your tits,” Lorcan said, turning back to look at her and then to the offending body parts. His eyes lingered.

Elide snorted. “If he was, then so was his wife.”

“What?” Lorcan’s head snapped back to where the two were retreating, as if he was just realizing the man had been with somebody.

“Believe it or not,” she breathed, lips hy his ear, “not everyone wants to see my tits or my pussy. Just you.”

“There are plenty of others, trust me,” he said, but he’d pulled his leg back onto his own beach chair, leaving Elide to lay on her own chair unimpeded. “You’re fucking gorgeous, you have amazing tits, and the prettiest pussy on the planet. Everyone wants to look at you.”

Rolling her eyes, Elide sat up. “How about a swim?”

His eyes flicked from where they lay now to where the water was. It was a pretty big expanse of sand. He didn’t answer quickly enough, apparently, so Elide stood, stretching.

Gods, she was beautiful and her body was perfect.

Lorcan groaned at the sight and stood up. Smiling, Elide reached for the strings of his trunks, pulling them loose again. “Live a little, Lor.”

He couldn’t help the small smile that consumed him as she pushed his shorts down until they were around his ankles in the sand. He had controlled himself enough that he didn’t fear getting kicked off the beach, but Elide’s eyes still trailed down his body and lingered on his impressive length. 

“Alright,” he said, sighing as he pushed Elide’s hair out of her face. “Let’s get this over with.”

Elide laughed, eyes meeting his as she was about to reply with a witty remark, but before she could speak, Lorcan had picked her up. He cradled her in his arms as he walked down to the water, her arms going around his neck as he hurried through the sand.

He wandered into the water and, when it was waist high, he dropped Elide.

She went down under the water, laughing and cursing his name as she disappeared. She had her revenge, though, when she came back up and splashed him until he was drenched and pulling her into his arms.

As the sun went down in Greece, Lorcan held his wife in the water and kissed her, slowly, until the stars came out.

————

Lorcan was laying on the bed, the double doors of their suite open to the beach outside. The gauzy curtains were floating in the warm breeze off the water and he could hear the waves crashing. The two of them had stayed in the water until they were the only ones left on the beach. They’d gathered up their things and walked back to their room hand in hand and then Elide had announced they both needed showers.

They’d taken one together, Lorcan’s hands lingering here and there, constantly trying to get her to turn and kiss him. She hadn’t, had efficiently washed her hair and body, telling him to do the same. As the conditioner was soaking in her hair, and he’d finished up, she’d kicked him out of the steaming shower and told him she’d be right out.

Ten minutes later, he’d pulled on a pair of boxer-briefs, she was still locked in the bathroom and he was going to fall asleep if she didn’t hurry.

He heard the bathroom door unlock and sat up.

Every second he’d waited was worth it, he decided, looking at Elide. “Where did that come from?”

She blushed, glancing down as her fingers danced along the hem of the sheer, white nightgown she wore. He could tell she was completely bare beneath it. “I had to have some bridal lingerie.”

Her wearing lingerie had been a rarity, and there was something utterly special when she did wear it. He loved her being nude and loved her in his old shirts, but the teasing, thin fabric of the lingerie did something different to his body.

“You look beautiful,” he said, and had never meant anything more. 

She smiled, approaching the bed nonchalantly. He tracked those slow moments, eyes grazing her body as she walked towards him. He met her at the foot of the bed and took her hands in his.

“I love you,” he said, eyes not leaving hers. “I love you so much, and the fact that you’re my wife…” His words trailed off as he shook his head. “It’s too good to be true.”

A swell of emotion flooded her body as she stepped closer to him, between his legs, and his arms went around her body. She ran her fingers through his damp hair. She knew that feeling, the feeling of what they had being too good to be true, the happiness and overwhelming joy that she had knowing who she was loved by.

“I love you,” she breathed, and climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist. She could surely feel him already hardening between her thighs. “My husband.”

They hadn’t been able to help themselves, during the time between the ceremony and the reception, and had quickly consummated the marriage in a room off the kitchens of the venue they had rented. But since then, they’d been on planes and in rental vehicles and Lorcan hadn’t been able to properly take his wife to bed. Which was a damn shame.

His hands smoothed up her thighs, lingering on the curve of her ass, before leaving goosebumps in their wake on her arms. He framed her face with his hands and said, “You’re my future. No matter what happened in the past, it brought you to me and me to you.”

Elide’s reply was barely more than a whisper before the lips met. “Forever.”

It didn’t matter how many times it had happened before or how long it had been, every time his hands were on Elide’s body, Lorcan lost all sense of himself. His tongue swept into her mouth, tasting, teasing, taunting, and Elide responded in kind. Her thighs tightened around his, the fingers on his bare shoulders squeezing as she found herself in his kiss.

Lorcan’s rough fingers wove into her hair and all lingering exhaustion had vanished. Now, all he could focus on was her and everything she had to offer him and he could offer her in kind. With every intention of flipping her over and running his mouth, his tongue, all over her body, he tightened his arms around her waist but Elide had a different idea in mind. Palms against his chest, she pushed Lorcan back and bent down to press her lips to the side of his neck, where she began trailing those little kisses down his neck, his chest, his abdomen. The second his eyes shut, he opened them again, not wanting to miss a second of whatever it was she was about to do. 

Elide settled herself on the floor between Lorcan’s legs and tugged his boxer briefs down. He shifted, allowing them to disappear. 

His hard length greeted her and she took it grasped it in her hands, making Lorcan let out a harsh breath. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the one fucking you,” he said, watching as she leaned in closer to the head of his cock. “Untamed.”

She met his eye and smiled, sweetly. “You can start by fucking my mouth,” she said, and sucked in just the tip, swirling her tongue around the head as Lorcan cursed.

He let her play for a few minutes, leaning back on his elbows on the bed, watching her. He let her tease him with her tongue and hands, waiting until he noticed her rubbing her thighs together, knowing it was affecting her just as much as it affected him. One of his hands gathered her hair at the back of her head and those dark eyes met his, so full of love and lust and passion and an overwhelming need for him that his hips lifted of their own accord.

Elide gagged quietly, not expecting the sudden intrusion, but then her eyes fell closed and she scooted her knees in closer to the end of the bed. When her hand squeezed his thigh, her pretty, painted nails digging into his skin, he knew she was ready. This time, when his hips jerked up, they met no resistance, just the hot, wet envelopment of her throat around his cock. Lorcan groaned as he did it again and again, letting his other hand cup her cheek, her eyes fluttering open, watching him.

He knew a lot of women hated this, being on their knees for their men, thinking they were being used, but Elide thrived on it. She knew that even though she was the one on her knees, she owned every inch of Lorcan, that he was at her mercy, not the other way around.

With her eyes on him, Elide opened her throat, taking him as deeply as she could, until her red lips were wrapped around the very base. Shuddering, Lorcan swore, until he noticed her hand moving between her legs.

He was caught, conflicted on which to watch. The beautifully erotic image of her with all of him in her mouth, down her throat, or that delicate hand of hers between her legs, pleasing her throbbing clit in slow, needy circles with her fingers. 

His eyes flicked back and forth between the two as Elide’s head started bobbing, yet again, taking him deeply with each pass. The curses flowing out of his mouth were low and filthy, and judging by the whimpering and the quickened pace of her fingers, his wife thrived on that filth. 

His wife.

His fingers in her hair tightened and he pulled her head back again to meet her gaze. She gasped and when he thought he may have pulled too hard, her earlier words came back to him. 

I want to wait until you’re so full of want and need that you are completely and utterly untamed when you fuck me.

An ache settled in his very core that only one thing could take away.

“Get up,” he ordered, and her eyes ignited with pleasure at the sudden command. 

Elide rose once his fingers left her hair and she stood in front of him, patiently, awaiting his next command. 

He stood as well, so close that the tip of his cock dragged up her belly, beneath the fabric of her pretty, little nightgown.

Lorcan reached down and toyed with the hem of the nightgown. “How angry will you be with me if I tear this off of you?”

Elide’s eyes were locked on his, her hands by her side. Her voice was unwavering. She was as ready for him as he was for her. “Very.”

“Then you’d better get it off.” His words were short, sharp, but not harsh. “Now.”

There was a glint in Elide’s eyes that told him she may have wanted him rough and commanding, but she wasn’t feeling very submissive.

Still, she clearly liked the short nightgown enough to not want it in shreds, and took his advice to remove it. She did it slowly, making sure his eyes followed the fabric as she lifted, exposing first her sex, then her toned stomach, and finally, her breasts, before pulling it over her head and tossing it to the floor.

“Good girl.” Lorcan ran his thumb over her lips, then trailed it down to her breast, rolling a taut nipple between it and his forefinger. “Did you like having me in your mouth?”

Her back arched into his touch. “Yes.”

His free hand cupped her other breast. “Enough that you started touching yourself?”

Hearing her breathing hitch, he smiled, and gently pinched her nipple. She gasped, “Yes. You should touch me now.”

“Should I?” He pinched harder and she gripped his hip, gasping just a bit louder. She nodded and he hummed. “On your knees on the bed.”

Stepping around him, Elide crawled on the bed, but Lorcan stopped her with just a knee on the mattress, giving her a searing kiss. “I love you.”

Her eyes softened. “I love you, too.”

His hand cracked against her ass and he smirked as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Get your ass up there.”

Elide did as she was told, crawling further up the bed. She felt the bed dip behind her and was about to demand he touch her again, when she felt his mouth on her, his tongue parting her folds and delving into her center. Moaning, Elide’s arms buckled as he gripped her ass, spreading her as wide as he could, fucking her with his tongue.

Gods, he loved the way she tasted. 

Elide didn’t have a chance to breathe, hardly had a chance to do anything other than fall quickly into that place of pure ecstasy. His tongue played with her, plunging deep inside of her, sucking and nipping and licking until her knees were shaking and she was digging her nails into the bed sheets for any sort of relief from the building intensity within her core. 

She cried out his name and Lorcan groaned, the sound muffled, his mouth still occupied as she could no longer contain herself. Elide came, and Lorcan did not stop until she grew silent, until her body relaxed. 

Heart beating wildly, Elide rolled onto her back and looked up at Lorcan, who sat on the bed on his knees, lips gleaming with her release. He licked those swollen lips and brushed his thumb along his chin, wiping his skin clean before bringing his thumb to his mouth and sucking off what he could. 

The sight made Elide’s body tremble before him.

“I didn’t say you could turn over,” Lorcan said, slowly shaking his head.

She could see the playful glint in his eyes and lifted herself up into a sitting position before meeting him in the middle of the bed, on her knees. Her fingers ran down his broad chest and abdomen before brushing along the length of his hard cock. “But I can’t ride you if I’m on my hands and knees,” she said, quietly, those fingers continuing to move in teasing strokes. 

He caught her chin in his fingers and tilted her face up. “You can ride me, just as long as you remember how this night is going to end.”

She put a hand on his chest, pushing him down until his back was on the mattress. “Why do you think I want to ride you?”

As soon as she swung one of her legs over him, Lorcan’s hands were on her hips. Reaching between them, Elide grasped his cock, stroking him as she rose up on her knees, guiding him to her entrance. As she leaned down, stopping just shy of touching her lips to his, she sank down, until just the swollen head was in her. Lorcan’s curse was low and vicious and her pussy clenched in response. “How long can you stay like this?” She asked, their lips brushing. Rocking back, just enough to take another inch, she breathed, “How long will it take for your control to snap?”

“I guess you’ll find out.” He flexed his hips, just enough to slide a bit more into her hot center.

Elide groaned, kissing his neck as she slid down his cock, bit by bit, never giving him more than an inch or two before she rocked back up on her knees. He behaved for the most part, until her teeth dragged across his collarbone at the same time she squeezed her inner muscles.

“Fucking gods,” he hissed, those hands at his hips digging into her skin. Every muscle in his body twitched, every thought from his mind disappeared. All he could think about was fucking her senseless, getting her to scream his name again. If she wanted untamed, he would give it to her and then some. 

His love.

His one and only.

His wife.

He rolled them with no warning, pinning Elide beneath him and slammed into her, every hard, thick inch, and Elide’s moan was the most erotic thing he’d ever heard. He rose up on his knees, gripping her waist, arching her back, and thrusting into her again and again, watching her tits bounce with every move he made. Her hands were twisted up in the sheets, searching for purchase anywhere she could get it. He pounded into her harder and harder, relentless in his need to make her cum.

“Touch yourself,” he growled, knowing how close she was, hearing it in the desperate moans and whimpers that left her parted lips. He needed her to be just as undone as he was, wanted her wild and needy and begging for him to fuck her as hard as he could.

Her movements were already frantic when she began circling her clit, gripping Lorcan’s wrist with her other hand. It took only a minute before her whimpers turned into moans, his name on her lips like a boon.

And then he pulled out.

As her ass fell onto the mattress, her head snapped up. Her eyes were wild when they found his. “I was so close.”

Smirking, he stroked himself, knowing her gaze would drop right to his cock. It was glistening in the dim light, coated in her wetness, and Elide watched, chest heaving. “I know. On your stomach.”

She obeyed, flipping over and looking over her shoulder at him, her ass perked up in the air a bit, just how she knew he liked it. Lorcan grabbed one of the pillows, folding it in half and stuck it beneath her hips. He covered her body with his, lacing their fingers together, pinning them to the bed above her head. The metal of their wedding bands clinked together as his cock nudged at her entrance.

“Tell me what you want,” he breathed, lips at her ear.

Elide tried to sink back into him but he wouldn’t allow it. His dark chuckle was warm against her ear.

He said, again, “Tell me what you want, sweetheart.”

Her hands in his tightened. ”I want you to fuck me,” she said. “Now.”

The final word had barely gotten out of her mouth when he thrust himself into her, all the way in until there was nothing more to give. He rammed his cock into her waiting cunt over and over, again and again. His body remained pressed against hers, their hands clasped. His thrusts were rough, there was no gentleness in the way he fucked her, and Elide’s throaty response proved that was exactly what she had wanted.

“Lor,” she cried, and her body trembled beneath him. “Lor, gods—“

His teeth scraped along the back of her neck and she cried out. He could feel her clenching around him, could tell her release was coming soon, and even though he didn’t want it to be over, he thrived on the sounds she made, thrived on the way her body reacted to his.

Lorcan pushed himself up on his knees and pounded into her, hands gripping her hips as her legs shook on both sides of him. 

As Elide fell over the edge, his name a hoarse cry that he felt in his very soul, Lorcan tumbled right along with her, finding her mouth in a savage kiss as his hips bucked and jerked, spilling every last drop of his essence into her. His arms and knees gave out at the same time, collapsing onto the bed so he wouldn’t crush her.

Breathing heavily, he gathered Elide in his arms and pulled her halfway on top of him, one hand buried in her hair, the other palming the curve of her ass. He kissed her, soft and slow, nothing like the brutal joining they’d just had, and felt her relax in his arms.

She pulled back, eyes glazed and sleepy. “That was…” Apparently, there were no words to explain how great it had been, because her lips were on his again and Lorcan was groaning. His cock was already growing hard again, but they needed to sleep.

It seemed Elide was feeling the same, because she pulled back, covering her mouth as she yawned. It was adorable and made him yawn, too.

She pulled his hand to her lips, kissing his wedding band. “We should get some sleep.”

“We should,” he murmured, reaching down without letting go of her and tugging the blanket over them.

She tried to sit up, but his arms were right around her. Elide laughed. “Lorcan, I need to clean up.”

“Shhh…” His eyes were already closed, his grip not letting up.

Elide’s laughter continued as she shook her head. “You’re just going to let me go to bed covered in your cum?”

“Mhmm.”

“It’s on you, too.”

“Mhmm.”

“I can’t sleep until I wash up,” she said, nipping at his jaw.

“Ow,” he laughed, eyes flying open when her teeth caught his skin. “Brutal, and we’ve only been married for a day.”

Elide’s eyes softened as she leaned up to get a good look at him.

Her husband.

Her future.

“Married for a day and a lifetime to go,” she said, and then she was kissing him again, those lingering touches coming so naturally that it was hard to stop.

They eventually got up and washed their bodies off, brushed their teeth, and did everything else that needed to be done to get under the blankets and feel comfortable.

As they climbed back in bed, Lorcan pulled Elide close to him and wrapped his arms around her small frame with nothing but their skin between them. “I love you, Mrs. Salvaterre,” he murmured, in her ear, pressing the softest of kisses just below her ear.

The thrill that shot through Elide at hearing her new last name was all consuming and she couldn’t stop her grin as she turned towards her husband and laid her palm on his cheek. “I love you, Mr. Salvaterre.”

Lorcan kissed her, this strong, beautiful woman who came crashing into his life. “Always.”

Sliding her fingers into his hair, Elide rested her forehead against his. “And forever.”

[snelbz]

Starting Over {Two}

Collab with @theladyofdeath.

Summary: Elide Lochan thought she had met the love of her life only to find out that he was not the man she thought he was. After her world starts falling down around her, she makes a move back to her childhood home in hopes of starting over. Although it’s the last thing she expected, she meets a man the exact opposite of her ex. With his help and that of her best friend, Aelin, she learns how to stand on her own two feet and take control of her life.

Starting Over Masterlist

The late afternoon sun was halfway across the living room floor when Elide opened her eyes. At first, she panicked, not knowing where she was, but then the aches and pains settled into her body.

And then she remembered.

She remembered where she was, who’s couch she was asleep on. She remembered why she was here, what Roland had done. She wouldn’t have thought cheating on her would be the lesser of his two evils from the last twelve hours, but she was sure she still bore the blood and bruises from the greater.

“Hey…”

Elide sat up, blinking blearily. She found Aelin curled up in a chair next to the couch, a worn journal in her lap. Aelin’s smile was warm but her bright, turquoise and gold eyes were lined with concern.

“Hi.” Her voice was more of a croak than anything else. Elide cringed. “Where’s Rowan?”

“He left,” Aelin answered, closing the journal and setting it to the side. “Wanted to give us some time. He figured you might need to talk.”

Elide swallowed roughly. She could only imagine what she looked like when she showed up three hours after calling Aelin. She hadn’t stopped once; save for filling up her gas tank twenty miles outside of Perranth. Stopping any closer was tempting fate, giving him time to catch her.

Standing from her chair, Aelin moved to the couch, sitting next to Elide’s blanket-covered legs. “You know you can stay here as long as you want, I’d do anything for you,” she said, gently, resting a hand on Elide’s calf. If she noticed the imperceptible flinch at her touch, she blessedly said nothing. “But I need to know what’s going on. Rowan’s best friend is a cop, and if he needs to—”

“No,” Elide interrupted. “No police. It’s… It’s over with now.”

The pause was tense before Aelin asked, “What’s over, Elide?”

She hesitated and, gods, the tears began again. Aelin reached out and when Elide took her hand, she moved closer, letting Elide rest her head on her shoulder. 

Through the tears, as her body trembled, she told Aelin everything. She told her about the night before when he left for the club even though she didn’t want to go. She told her about the next morning and why she went through Roland’s phone. She told Aelin about the cheating and how she had confronted him on the way out the door, the supposed love of her life.

Then she told her about how he had reacted.

She didn’t stop there. She told her about how foolish she felt, how there were no warning signs, how she still couldn’t believe that he had hit her.

Hurt her.

“Hey,” Aelin said softly, but sternly. Elide met her gaze. “You have to know right now that the way he reacted is not your fault, at all. You shouldn’t feel foolish. No one could have seen that coming.”

Elide knew that, but it was nice of Aelin to say. She still felt foolish though, for putting herself in a situation that was so similar to the one she dreamt so long of getting out of. She couldn’t help it, that aching feeling in her gut that told her she should have known better.

“I don’t know what to do,” Elide confessed. “My life is in Perranth and I just…I disappeared.” That panic began again. Aelin’s hand tightened in hers.

“What’s tying you there?”

Elide blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Your life, what’s tying you to Perranth?” Aelin went on. “What’s keeping you from moving back to Orynth?”

She had no idea what to say. Not only because she wasn’t expecting the question, but because… Because with Roland out of the picture, there really was nothing stopping her.

“I’d have to email my boss.” Her words were quiet, because she couldn’t believe she was actually considering this.

“Rowan’s gym is looking for a trainer,” Aelin suggested.

“I’m not a personal trainer, though,” Elide shook her head. “Yes, I have a degree in sports medicine, but I’m a massage therapist.”

“You go to the gym almost every day,” she replied. “You could absolutely be a personal trainer.”

It made sense, she supposed, but she still hesitated. It was all moving too fast. Everything was wrong.

Yesterday she had woken up, ready to make the best of her day. It was supposed to be a day just like every other day, not a day in which her entire life changed.

The thought of going back to Perranth was daunting, though. Even if she stayed away long enough for everything to calm down, for him to calm down, could she ever feel safe there again?

She knew the answer to that.

If she were to go back, she would fear that Roland was behind every corner, was in every car behind her, was creeping outside of her apartment at night. Could she bear to live like that?

“Think about it,” Aelin went on. “I’m just saying…it might be good to start over, you know? And you wouldn’t be doing it alone. I'd be here, for one, and I have some friends that I know you’ll get along with just as well as I do. Ro could go get all your stuff for you even, help you move it. He wouldn’t mind.”

The offer was so kind, too kind, but Elide decided that everything she had left behind was lost. Perhaps one day she would be brave enough to go and retrieve it.

If he hadn’t thrown it away or burned it by the time that happened.

“I’ll think about it,” Elide promised.

“Good,” Aelin smiled, squeezing her hand. “Until then, you’re no longer sleeping on this couch.” When Elide hesitated, Aelin went on. “Guest room is upstairs. There’s a full bathroom just across the hall. It’s yours.”

“I don’t want to impose,” Elide said, quickly, knowing how serious Aelin and Rowan were getting. “If I do end up moving, I’ll have a place of my own in no time—“

“The guest room is yours as long as you need it,” Aelin said, gently. “There is no rush. You are welcome here.”

Elide looked at her oldest friend. She felt the comforting words that Aelin didn’t have to add. You are safe here.

“Why don’t you go take a shower, get cleaned up?” Aelin offered. “We can order dinner and have a sleepover like we used to.”

A quiet laugh left Elide, but Aelin could tell her heart wasn’t in it. It had been a long time since the girls had shared a sleepover, before both their parents had been killed. It had been over ten years and the two of them had never lost touch.

“I’d love that,” she nodded, pulling a throw pillow into her lap.

Aelin wrapped Elide in a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You go hop in the shower, I’m gonna run down the street to get us a bottle of wine and then we’ll get dinner ordered.”

“That sounds amazing,” Elide sighed.

As she stepped into the bathroom, Elide got her first good look at her injuries to their full extent. Her bottom lip was split, her cheek still swollen, but the split on her temple looked better than it had in the small mirror on her visor as she drove here. There was swelling under her left eye. As she removed her shirt, she could see two marks on her upper arms. Perfect matches to Roland’s handprints. As she swallowed, she turned around and glanced at her back, finding it just as battered and bruised as the rest of her body.

Elide turned away from the mirror, turning the water on and making it as hot as the handle would allow. After removing the rest of her clothes, Elide stepped under the spray, letting the spray sink deep into her skin, into her soul. She couldn’t feel the burn, couldn’t feel anything. She was so tired, yet she’d slept all day.

She closed her eyes, letting the water wash away the dried blood, letting it loosen her tense muscles. Was this what her life had come down to?

She sank to the bottom of the tub, laying back as the shower rained down on her. Maybe moving to Orynth wouldn’t be so bad.

A new start.

It was a tempting offer.

The thought of going back to Perranth was nonexistent. She couldn’t fathom it, not right now, not after all that had happened.

Elide stayed in the shower until the water became cold, until she heard Aelin gently knock on the door and let her know that she was back and dinner would be there soon.

Giving herself a few more minutes to settle in the misery of the last twenty four hours, Elide tipped her head back and let the brisk, biting water take away the sting of the burn from her anger and fear and… and disappointment.

Life could go on. Life would go on.

Roland may have been a big part of her life, a part of her past, but he would not be her future.

Pushing her heavy sheet of wet hair back off her face, Elide stood, knowing she may not be ready to face her new beginnings today or even tomorrow, that there would be time.

But that new future was waiting.

All she had to do…was live it.

……………………

As soon as Lorcan turned the shower off, he could hear his phone ringing from where he’d left it charging on his nightstand. Groaning, mumbling something about how he couldn’t get one night of peace and quiet, he slung a towel around his hips, not caring that he left a trail of heavy drips and droplets leading to his bed. He grabbed the phone, just as it went to voicemail, but he saw who had been calling him and heaved a sigh of relief.

It hadn’t been the captain or even his lieutenant, which meant it likely wasn’t something life threatening.

It was Rowan, which meant it still could be life-threatening, but the risk was much lower with his best friend than with his superiors.

Dialing him right back, Lorcan put the phone on speaker, heading back into the bathroom.

“I wasn’t sure if you were off yet,” Rowan answered, rather than greeting his oldest friend like a normal person. 

“Just got out of the shower,” he replied, quickly drying himself off and getting dressed. “Thought you and Aelin were going to dinner tonight?”

Lorcan could practically hear the tension on the other side of the line thicken, but Rowan cleared his throat. “Yeah, change of plans. A childhood friend called and needed a place to stay for a bit. I’m giving them some time.”

“Is she in trouble?” The instinct to protect was unstoppable, which was why Lorcan had become a police officer. He wanted to help people, wanted them to know they were safe with him. His surly, outward appearance didn’t always reflect that.

He heard Rowan hesitate. “I don’t know the whole story. She was pretty hysterical when she called Aelin, and I left just after she got there. She was pretty beat up.”

Lorcan asked, “Is Aelin safe?” He didn’t particularly give two shits about his best friend’s girlfriend, but he didn’t want any harm to come to her.

“I wouldn’t have left the two of them alone if she wasn’t,” Rowan replied, and there wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his voice.

Lorcan huffed a sigh of contentment before asking, “And with them at your place, where is it you’re going?”

Rowan chuckled. “I’m ten minutes from your place unless you want to meet me at the bar.”

Lorcan fell back on his bed. If he stayed home, he could wear sweatpants and keep his feet bare. At the bar, he felt obligated to wear jeans but they had far better liquor.

And he could go to town on some chicken wings.

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” Lorcan said and hung up. 

There were very few people Lorcan would give up a night at home by himself for. Rowan was one of them, especially since he was kicked out of his own house, however willingly.

He quickly dried his hair and body with his towel before hanging it over the bathroom door. He didn’t bother brushing his hair, a habit that drove his ex insane. There were just too many curls and waves and strands that went in the wrong direction to brush it every day. He preferred to let his shoulder-length hair do what it was going to do naturally.

Fifteen minutes later, he pulled up to the bar on the corner and spotted Rowan’s car, parking next to it and walking inside.

It was a Saturday night.

And it was packed. 

He found Rowan with ease, thanks to their almost designated seats at the end of the bar. He knew that likely meant they frequented the dive a bit too often, but when he got to the open stool next to Rowan, a short glass of his favorite whiskey was waiting for him.

As he sat, he nodded to the owner of the bar, a man named Charlie he and Rowan had gotten to know over the years of coming here. He inclined his head in response and kept on wiping down glasses as other bartenders buzzed around him.

“Bet this isn’t how you were planning to spend your night,” Lorcan smirked, taking a deep drink from his glass.

Rowan chuckled, but shook his head. “I had very different plans, you’re right. You’re definitely not as pretty as Aelin.”

Lorcan flipped him off as Rowan blew him a kiss.

After a second, Lorcan turned to his oldest friend. “Are you worried about Aelin?”

Rowan shook his head as he took a sip and leaned against the back of the stool. His eyes were on the television above the bar. “No, she can take care of herself. And Elide.”

“That’s her friend?” Lorcan asked and Rowan nodded.

“They were best friends in elementary school,” he explained. “She moved to Perranth to live with her uncle after her parents were killed in a car accident, but they’ve stayed in touch.”

He took another drink and waved Charlie down. “And you said someone beat her?”

Rowan blew out a harsh breath and finished off his own drink. “I don’t know who or why, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t beat the shit out of herself.”

Lorcans mouth tightened. There were very few things he hated more than a man that laid his hands aggressively on a woman, if anything. It took a man with low self esteem and serious psychological issues to do that.

“Well, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know,” he said, at last.

“I’ll tell Aelin,” Rowan said, then added, “Thanks.”

Lorcan grunted as he nodded and only smiled when another glass of whiskey was set down in front of him. 

They were quiet for a few minutes after that but it was comfortable. Lorcan was convinced it was one of the reasons that he and Rowan had become such good friends in grade school, and stayed such good friends as they grew older. Neither of them minded the silence.

With his eyes on the hockey game above the bar, Lorcan couldn’t help but think about Aelin and her friend’s situation. Abusive men were why Lorcan had wanted to be in law enforcement.

One in particular.

His dad was locked up when Lorcan was seventeen and he hadn’t seen or heard from him since. Every now and then, he would look up his fathers name in the database to make sure he was still behind bars. Ever since his mother’s death, he made it a vow to make sure he stayed behind bars.

He did not have one memory of his father that did not fuel utter terror. As a child, he had felt useless. Although Lorcan had always been tall and broad, he had gotten that gene from his father so the old man always had the upper hand.

He could still hear his mother crying, begging for him to stop but he never did. She was small, petite, frail and Lorcan’s father would put a WWE heavyweight to shame. He used his size to cause her pain.

Lorcan used his to kick the asses of men with that mindset.

“That was a dirty hit.”

Lorcan blinked as his eyes refocused on the game he hadn’t really been watching. He hadn’t needed to watch to know he hadn’t been referring to any of the Staghorns. “You know Adarlan always plays dirty.”

Rowan nodded, crossing his arms as he watched the players skate across the ice.

The two fell back into a comfortable silence, but Lorcan’s mind was spinning, worrying about a woman he’d never met, but who’s trauma he knew all the same.

[swankii-art-teacher]

Little bits of personality peaking out... maybe even some compatability as well. The soft moments... dancing, a question for a question, the hug, and that first real kiss are so sweet and show real possibilities for a future.

'Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Eight}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

A/N: Hope y'all didn't think we'd go straight into wedded bliss. After this long, you should know us better than that.

——————

Lorcan - 

I stand by the bar at my own wedding reception wishing I could have a fucking drink. But no, I can’t drink and I can’t smoke and I can’t even talk to my wife because she’s talking with Aelin on the opposite end of the reception hall, just like she has been since we left the room they shoved us into after the ceremony. She keeps pointing in, you guessed it, my direction and gesturing with her arms, and, if I’m being honest, it looks like she’s flailing a bit.

I watch her intently.

She is beautiful, just as gorgeous as I remembered, and when I saw her walking towards me down the aisle I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Rowan must have known, considering Aelin must have known, and I’m pissed at him for not saying a word to me. Yeah, she’s hot, but also demanding as fuck.

Five minutes into our marriage, she tells me I’m not what she wanted. She told me I can’t drink. She told me I can’t smoke. I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to rip the tattoos off my skin. When I rolled up my sleeves earlier, she was staring at them. I can only imagine the thoughts that ran through her mind.

It hurt.

I won’t lie.

It hurt, having a girl that I haven’t been able to keep off my mind since the day I met her at Rowan and Aelin’s practically flat out tell me that I’m not what she wants.

Yet, we’re married.

For at least six months.

I debate on ordering a drink anyway. I’m already not what she wants, I may as well lean into it like that asshole I am, but I don’t. I push myself off the bar and look for someone to talk to so I don’t look like a miserable sack of shit at my own wedding. 

Before I can take more than three steps, an arm is slung around my shoulder and I’m steered toward the food table.

“You know,” Rowan starts, chuckling, “if anyone ever said you’d be getting married before me, I would have laughed in their face. But here you are, a married man.”

“Lost my virginity first, too,” I remark. “Don’t forget that, Mr. Late Bloomer.”

He shakes his head at that, laughing. “Don’t talk about having sex with someone else at your wedding.” He removes his arm and pops a tiny sandwich into his mouth before washing it down with his beer.

For a split second, I consider stealing it and chugging it, but then I realize my wife is probably watching me. I’ve felt her gaze on me all night, despite the fact that she’s clearly regretting signing up for this stupid fucking study.

I know I am.

I shrug. “That was twelve years ago and who knows where Essar even ended up.”

“It’s still shitty,” Rowan says, adamantly, making it clear this isn’t up for discussion. “Now why are you over here sulking instead of talking to your wife, or dancing with your wife, or doing literally anything else with your wife, aside from pretending she doesn’t exist?”

That actually makes me laugh, but it’s a bitter sound. “She’s the one that wants nothing to do with me. They’ve been in that corner since we came in.”

I gesture over to where our significant others are talking and he follows my gaze, right as Elide says something that makes Aelin hold her hands in a placating gesture.

With a wince, Rowan turns back to me. “She’s just a little overwhelmed. I don’t think she was expecting…someone like you.”

The words make me flinch. I don’t like that. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“Our lives are about as far from normal as they can be, man,” he says, and he’s not wrong. “If she was expecting someone who works Monday through Friday, nine-to-five, marrying the vocalist for a metal band has got to be a bit jarring.”

He’s right. I feel my anger start to deflate, but the pain already inflicted revives it. I shake my head.

“Yeah, but she signed up for it, just like I did. None of us had any idea what we were getting.” I scoff and, bagain, really consider swiping his beer. “I mean what the fuck was the point of having us fill out those questionnaires? I asked for a bleach blonde bikini model, with big tits, and I’m pretty damn sure I’m not what she ordered either.”

Rowan’s jaw locks as he faces me. “Look, I know you’re being a dick right now because your feelings are hurt—” I scoff, he doesn’t even stop, “but Elide is a damn good woman. She deserves a husband that isn’t controlled by his anger and his ego, so don’t ruin this marriage before it even starts because you don’t want to try.”

My mouth snaps shut.

“You just hit the jackpot, Lor,” Rowan goes on. “You won’t find a better woman than Elide, so at least give this marriage a shot before you decide you don’t want to do it. Now, get over there and ask your godsdamned wife to dance.” 

I hesitate, and I suddenly feel like I’m about to go ask one of the popular girls to dance with me at prom. Gods, I hated high school. “Fine,” I mutter and then walk towards the couple in the corner, Rowan just behind me, surely to make sure I actually do what I say I’m going to do. 

As I approach Elide and Aelin, they quiet down and Aelin gives Elide a nudge. I fucking hate this. So fucking awkward.

Nonetheless, I clear my throat and ask, “Would you like to dance?”

It comes out better than I expect it to, my voice remains calm and my hand is effortlessly held out in front of her. Rowan looks back and forth between the two of us. Aelin is watching me with an intensity that I hate.

Then, as apparently Elide has to take a minute to decide if she wants to or not, Rowan takes Aelin’s hand and drags her to the middle of the floor. Great. At least someone’s dancing at my wedding. 

Forgetting that my hand is still raised out to her, I nearly jump when she places her hand in mine. 

I wrap my fingers around hers, noticing again how much smaller her hands are than mine. Everything about this girl is tiny. It’s like I could tuck her in my pocket and take her everywhere I go.

Why the fuck do I love that so much?

Besides, that’s probably the last thing she’d want right now.

As we pause on the dance floor, I can feel Aelin and Rowan’s eyes on us.

Actually, it’s everyone. Everyone is staring, and I can tell she notices, too. This is nothing to me. I’m used to being in the spotlight, but something tells me she’s not quite as comfortable as I am. She’s gone as stiff as she did when we were taking our pictures after the ceremony. Can’t wait to see how awkward those end up. We’ll have to frame one on the living room wall so everyone can see how fucked our wedding day was.

My hands find her waist and I pull her into me, just a bit. She gasps and her hands land on my chest. I lean down and whisper in her ear, “You know I don’t bite, right?”

I swear, I feel her shudder at my words, but I don’t let myself focus on what exactly that means.

“Sorry,” she says, and her hands relax as they go around the back of my neck. We sway for a moment and I have to admit that I like having her close to me. Her body is nearly pressed against mine. She wouldn’t be able to get her hands around my neck without being so close. 

I try to be the civil human being Rowan has asked me to be. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

She almost looks surprised by this. “For what?”

I wasn’t sure. The smoking? The drinking? The disappointment of me being her husband? “I know this is overwhelming,” I say, instead. “It’s a lot to take in. We should be able to enjoy our day, though.”

She relaxes a little bit more but looks around nervously. “Doesn’t all the attention bother you?”

I shrug. “I’m used to it.” She tenses again and I sigh. Why do I have a feeling I’m trying to fight a losing battle? “I don’t care for it much, but it’s nothing new.”

She looks up at me then, one brow raised. “A rockstar who doesn’t like attention?”

I snort. “I play music because I love music,” I answer, simply.

She seems to like that answer because she gives me a little smile. It quickly disappears. “Can I ask you something and you answer honestly?”

I nod, unsure of where this conversation is headed.

“Was this a setup? Our marriage?” she asks, and her voice is quiet.

But I don’t understand. My brows furrow and our slow swaying back and forth slows even more. “What do you mean?”

She hesitates as her cheeks turn pink and she shakes her head. “Nevermind, I just…” She looks up at me and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. It’s adorable. “I feel like I’m in a dream, but I still don’t know what to think of it all.”

“You sure you didn’t sneak any more of the liquor when I wasn’t watching?” I ask, an attempt to lighten the mood. “I hear Aelin offered you a Xanax. Those will have you feeling pretty dream-like if you’re not careful.”

To my surprise, she laughs. It’s quiet, but she nods, the tension from her body starting to disappear once more. 

“Hopefully it’s a good dream, anyway,” I continue, swaying to the beat of the song. “Or, at least not a nightmare.” 

“Not a nightmare,” she amends, but it doesn’t escape me that she didn’t say it was a good dream.

I’ll take my victories where I can though. “Good.” It’s quiet for a few more minutes as we continue to gently sway. I’ve never been one for dancing, but if it means Elide can’t run off and hide from me, I’ll give it a shot. Might as well take advantage of the time, too. “So…we didn’t really use any of our time earlier to get to know each other.”

“We sort of had an advantage. We technically already knew each other.”

I scoff. “Semantics. What do you want to know about me?”

Her eyes go wide and I don’t know if it’s because she wasn’t expecting me to be so direct or because she doesn’t expect me to want to do this now, in the middle of our first dance. “Like what?”

“Like…anything,” I say, awkwardly laughing. “How about this, you can ask me any question, and then I’ll ask you one. We don’t have to answer, not yet at least. Want me to go first?”

Those dark eyes are skeptical, but she nods. Her bottom lip is back between her teeth and I fixate on it for way too long. I stop staring and clear my throat. “What’s your favorite color?”

She laughs, actually laughs, and asks, “That’s what you want to know?”

I wonder if she knows that her face lights up when she laughs. “It’s where I want to start.”

“You’re ridiculous.” She laughs again, softly this time. “Green. What’s yours?”

I answer without hesitation. “Black.”

Eyes that are nearly as dark as my favorite color roll. “Of course the metal vocalist’s favorite color is black.”

She’s teasing me. I like it. My dick likes it even more if the way my pants tighten is any indication.

I like a girl with a little fire.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter but can’t help my smile. I think she notices because her eyes meet mine and narrow. “Alright, any question, go.”

“How old are you?” She asks, simply, I nod.

Solid question.

“Twenty-eight.” Two years from thirty. Kill me now.

“Twenty-five,” she says, responding with her own age. 

She seems to not be bothered by the three year age gap. Before she can change her mind on the game continuing, I say, “Okay, this next one’s serious.”

Her smile falters but she lifts a brow.

“Favorite movie?” I ask and she laughs again. I like it when she laughs. I make it my personal mission to make her laugh as much as possible in the next six months.

She doesn’t even have to think about it. “The Princess Bride, no contest.” 

I swear my brows shoot up so high they nearly fly off my face. “Seriously?”

“Have a problem with that?” She asks, teasingly. 

“Hell no,” I mutter. “Amazing movie, solid choice.”

“Then you have a good taste in movies,” she says, and another song comes on, a little faster, but we continue to sway. “But, is it your favorite?”

I whistle. “Close call, but I’m gonna have to go with The Goonies. Kids who swear too much going on a treasure hunt and defeating actual criminals? Brilliant.”

“That’s fair.” She chuckles. “So you’re a fan of movies made before we were born.”

“The eighties have the best,” I say.

“Agreed,” she smiles, and holy fuck we actually have something in common.

“What about music,” I ask, and at some point, we’ve started adding a turn to our sway. I don’t know if I was the one to start it or if it was her, but I take a chance and let one of my hands rest on the small of her back. She doesn’t swat it away, which I take as a good sign. “Does your love for the eighties continue with music or is it just the movies of the golden era you like?”

“Of course. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Madonna. What more could you ask for?”

Oh gods, please tell me she isn’t still a fan of pop. Eighties pop, I can handle, but today’s music? Can’t do it.

And what more could you ask for? The rock gods.

“I mean, what about Van Halen?” I gauge her reaction and keep going when she shrugs. “Queen. Bon Jovi, Journey, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Aerosmith, Mötley Crüe, Guns N’ Roses—”

Her hand reaches up and covers my mouth. “I get it.” She really looks like she’s trying not to smile. Her eyes are…sparkling. Fucking shining. “Eighties rock. I need to add it to my Spotify immediately.”

Her hand falls away from my mouth and I wish it didn’t. Not because I like having my mouth covered, but because her skin is on my lips.

“You won’t regret it,” I promise, and I hope she knows I’m talking about more than the music. 

“Do you read?” She asks, and the smile has remained on her mouth. 

“Often,” I admit.

“Favorite genre?” She adds.

“That’s two questions,” I protest.

She laughs and shakes her head. “They go hand in hand!”

I chuckle as I spin her out and pull her back in, dipping her down. Our eyes remain locked and she looks happy. My earlier anger and frustration seems ridiculous. As I pull her back up she stays in my arms for a moment before I spin her back out and we resume our dance. 

“Fantasy and sci-fi mostly,” I answer, holding her just a little bit closer. “My favorite is the Hobbit. I love a good classic. Currently making my way through the Witcher series.”

She studies me for a moment. “Interesting.”

“You don’t approve?” I ask, teasingly.

Her hand tightens on my shoulder. “I didn’t say that. I like a well-read man.” I raise a brow and her cheeks turn pink. She adds hastily, “I enjoy reading, too.”

“That’s two things we have in common,” I mutter, unable to look away from her sparkling eyes. “If only you had better taste in music.”

“Excuse me for actually wanting to be able to understand the lyrics!”

And I know we aren’t talking about Van Halen anymore. I narrow my eyes at her. “You’ve listened to our music.”

“I’ve tried,” she specifies, shaking her head. “It was too…”

She trails off and I’m far too impatient for to wait for her to go on. “Loud? Aggressive? Violent?”

She’s trying to keep from smiling again and biting her lip, so now I’m thinking about biting her lip. It’s an appealing idea. I wonder how bad of an idea it would be to try and kiss her.

Probably pretty bad, considering she turned her head and I kissed her cheek after we said our vows.

I internally cringe again at the most awkward moment of my life to date. Nice.

“All of the above?” She says it as more of a question than a statement and starts laughing again. She looks away from me and I can tell she’s blushing. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to bash your music. I just… Are you even saying real words?”

I snort and keep myself from smiling, even though the corners of my lips want to desperately tip up. “Yes…and I do actually sing sometimes.”

“And I have no idea how you still have any vocal cords left to do it with,” she notes. She’s teasing me again and my body is reacting…again. “Although, I must admit that I haven’t listened to your music long enough to actually hear any singing.”

“Then you admit you haven’t given it a real chance,” I wink. She laughs. “Maybe if it’s just me and my guitar you’ll like it.”

She raised a brow. “Are you offering to serenade me?”

“You did marry my sorry ass, it’s the least I can do,” I tell her.

And she laughs again and damn it, that laugh is making me smile like a fucking idiot. Her laugh does things to me.

“Fine, but I get to pick the song,” she says.

“Fine,” I agree, then add, “as long as it’s not Madonna.” 

Her smile softens but she nods. “I suppose I can deal with that.”

We stare at each other for a moment and I have no idea how long we’ve been dancing, have no idea how many songs have passed, but before we can continue our conversation, the photographer is asking for pictures, yet again.

I suppose we’ll want to remember this day, as if I could ever forget it. It’s not everyday that you marry someone you’ve never met. 

As soon as we leave the ballroom and head out to take pictures with the sunset, it’s like a switch is flipped. Whatever progress we’d made inside is gone by the time the photographer asks us to pause because the lighting is “perfect”. I reach for her hand, but just as my fingers close around hers, she pulls away.

“Sorry,” she breathes, eyes darting up to mine before looking away.

It’s like our dance never happened, like she didn’t laugh with me, and smile at me like she might actually be happy to be married to me, too.

I don’t get it.

We take the pose suggestions the photographers suggest, Elide as stiff and anxious as she was for the first set. Our grandkids are going to love these one day.

What the fuck am I saying? We don’t even know if we’ll have kids, much less grandkids. At this rate of back and forth hot and cold, I’ll likely never even touch her, which will be a damn shame.

At one point, the photographer asks her to stand with her back to my chest. She takes her position, a solid two feet in front of me. Sighing, I step forward and wrap my arms around her waist.

She gasps, gripping my arms. “Lorcan, what are you doing?”

“I’m hugging you, what does it look like I’m doing?”

I can practically feel the heat radiating off her cheeks from how hard she’s blushing.

The photographer cries, “Don’t move an inch!”

So I don’t. I lock down my arms around her, despite her awkward laughter and squirming as she takes shot after shot. Right before she’s done, I plant a kiss on her cheek, just like I did after we said our vows. When I pull back and look down at her, she’s already gazing up at me, a small smile playing on her rosebud lips. Instead of the death grip she had my arms a moment before, her arms are wrapped around mine.

Gods, I want to kiss her.

And she’s my wife, so I do.

I lean, brushing my lips against hers before she can object. Her eyes flare for just a moment, before she softens and it goes from me kissing her to kissing each other.

One of the photographers claps as he says something about getting the best photo of the day, making Elide jump back, and honestly, for a split second I consider punching the scrawny slip of a man for interrupting our first kiss.

Elide looks away from me and gathers up her skirt. “I think I need a drink. I’m thirsty.”

The words are mumbled and her cheeks are red as she excuses herself and walks back inside. I watch her go, watch as she disappears through the doors and leaves me outside with the photographer.

I slowly look at him and his face pales as I shove my hands in my pockets and follow her path. For a moment, while we danced, while we kissed, everything felt natural.

Now, I’m not sure where I stand which is complete and utter bullshit considering she’s my wife. 

I’m officially a married man.

And, I have no clue if the woman I’m married to even likes me. 

[snelbz]

After Hours {Elriel Smut}

A/N: Tara and I have both been crazy busy this month, so we haven’t gotten to write as much as we’d like to have for @elrielmonth. This doesn’t go along with any of the specific weeks, but we can’t miss an opportunity to write about favorite babies. Enjoy.

NSFW. 18+ Only.

WC: 7244

Written with @theladyofdeath.

Azriel turned off the engine of his old, beat up Jeep and stared at the door of the bustling bar. As the clock on his dash neared 6:00, people all over Velaris were finishing up their workday and hoping for a little release.

Including himself, apparently.

It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to join his coworkers at the bar on the corner by their office, but it was the first time he’d accepted. Typically, the last thing he wanted to do at the end of the work day was socialize, but once Morrigan asked enough, she was hard to say no to. After a certain point, she no longer took no as an answer, which was how he found himself in the parking lot.

With a sigh, he hopped out of the car, having discarded his tie, releasing a few of his top buttons, and rolling up his dark sleeves.

His 9-to-5 wasn’t awful, but it sure as hell wasn’t how he planned to spend the rest of his life. He was amazing with anything and everything electronic, had been building and taking apart everything he could get his hands on from a young age. But working tech support had him asking Have you tried turning it off and back on again more times in one day than he ever thought he would have. It was a stepping stone to something bigger, something better. He just had to convince himself take that leap onto a bigger stone.

He could use a beer. Hell, he could use a shot. The bonus of his best friends working with him as well meant that both were likely sitting at the table waiting for him.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he pushed through the door of the dive bar. Looking around, he spotted Morrigan’s blonde head on the dance floor, but none of his other friends. He knew Cassian and Rhys would certainly be here, maybe Helion and Kallias if he were lucky, but—

“You actually came.”

He turned and found the real reason he’d finally relented and accepted the invitation standing in front of him. The reason why he hadn’t taken that leap to something bigger and better.

Elain Archeron was the epitome of feminine grace. Her pretty, pink dress didn’t seem like it belonged in the seedy bar, yet here she was, carrying what looked like a tray of—

“Is that Fireball?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It was Lucien’s idea and Cassian backed him up.” She pointed to one of the shot glasses up and looked at him. “And this one’s got your name on it.”

Azriel suppressed his smile as he said, “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Elain gestured for him to follow her, which he did without any hesitation. She led him to a table in the back corner where a big group of them sat, hollering once they saw that Azriel had finally joined them for their Friday night outing.

“It’s about damn time,” Cassian said, scooting over so that Azriel could sit next to him. After she set the tray down on the table, Elain sat next to him. Her knee bumped his, which he fully noted.

“Blame Mor,” Azriel muttered, taking the shot that had his name on it from the tray. “She’s relentless.”

Across from them, Rhysand looked at Mor on the dance floor as she spun around with her arms spread wide. “Already drunk is what she is,” Rhys laughed and raised his shot glass. “Thank fuck it’s Friday,” he said, as a toast.

The others raised their glasses and clinked them against one another’s. Azriel downed his shot, loving the burn as it went down his throat. It didn’t burn as much as it used to, Fireball, but he liked the taste more than most.

He turned his head just in time to watch Elain’s head fall back, liquid disappearing from her shot class as her eyes lit up. She swallowed and set the glass on the table before turning to meet Azriel’s eye. Her cheeks burned.

He found it endearing, how she seemed to get embarrassed from doing something as simple as taking a shot. Although, the fact that she kept a straight face had Azriel surprised and impressed, and wondering just what else he did not know that Elain was capable of.

“Look at you,” she said, resting her elbow on the table and propping her chin in her hand. “Out in the real world. I was starting to think you had a little bed hiding in that cubicle of yours and that you never left.”

Elain was the assistant to the office manager, so while he didn’t work with her as much as he’d like, he did see her in passing quite often. And, of course, when she or their boss’s computer decided to stop working.

It wasn’t his job, but whenever a pair of caramel eyes peeked over the top of his cubicle, he was powerless to tell her no. The issues he’d helped her with ranged from a piece of paper jammed in her printer to a mysterious virus that the boss had somehow downloaded.

He laughed, barely noticing their friends around them. “Not yet, but I might start keeping a sleeping bag under there, just in case.”

“Don’t do that,” she chuckled, shaking her head. Her hair, which she usually left down, loose and curled and pretty, had been piled on top of her head. Thanks to the heat of the bodies in the room, the short hairs at the nape of her neck had curled, and Azriel wanted to reach out and let one wrap around his finger.

Blinking, he realized how creepy that’d make him look and he cleared his throat.

The pitcher of beer was passed around and Azriel filled up his glass. As the hour passed on, he was surprised to find that he was enjoying himself. Most of that was due to the fact that Elain’s knee brushed his every few minutes. He swore that when it did, she would linger.

With three pitchers down, everyone went to the dance floor, all except Azriel and Elain, who remained seated. She shifted, and Azriel thought that she may want him to ask her to dance but dancing was so far out of his comfort zone that he asked something else entirely before she could take matters into her own hands.

“I’m going to step outside for a minute,” he said, words rushing from his mouth. “Care to join me?”

Elain looked around, sucking in her bottom lip as she noted each of their friends and coworkers out on the floor before turning back to Azriel and nodding. “Okay.”

They made their way through the busy bar together until they found the side door that led to the alley, rather than the packed patio around back. The second Azriel was outside, he pulled his cigarettes from a pocket and held them up. “Do you mind?”

Elain shook her head as the door closed behind her. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

Azriel hesitated, then laughed quietly as he searched his pocket for a lighter. “I guess we don’t know much about each other outside of the office.”

“I guess not,” Elain confirmed, watching as he patted all of his pockets. To his surprise, she opened the small clutch that was slung around her body and pulled out a lighter. She held it up and ignited a flame. “Need help?”

Azriel’s brows shot up but he said nothing as he put the cigarette between lips and leaned forward until it caught. In such a simple, short movement, they were close enough for him to smell the floral scent of her perfume.

Once she put it away and he took a long, peaceful drag, he asked, “What else do you have in there that will surprise me?”

The smile she gave him had him leaning against the opposite wall of the alley to keep him upright. “It’s not mine. I tend to be the carrier of everything no one wants to keep in their pockets while dancing. Thank Rhys.”

Azriel laughed, quietly. “Fair enough.”

“It’s nice, you know,” she said, and he tilted his head to the side, waiting. “Having you come out with us. I see Rhys and Cassian more than anyone else, thanks to Feyre and Nesta, but it’s nice to have you here with us.”

His throat was tight and it had nothing to do with the filthy habit he knew he needed to kick. He took another pull and blew the cloud of smoke away from her. The wind pulled it right back, and he cringed. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” she said and shrugged her shoulder, leaning against the brick wall next to him. He was suddenly very aware of how dank and dirty the alley was and that she was in a very pretty dress. She didn’t belong out here, didn’t belong with him in his dark shirt and dark jeans and rebellious nose ring and tattoos. She was all that was good, while he was…not. But then she spoke and it caught him off guard. “What would you be doing, if you weren’t here?”

He blinked. He wasn’t sure where she’d been planning to take the conversation, but that surely wasn’t it. “In Velaris, you mean?”

Laughing, Elain looked up at the sky. The stars were phenomenal, even in this dingy alley. Her eyes were bright, taking in the beauty of the City of Starlight. She looked back at him and said, “I haven’t had nearly enough to drink to ask something that deep.”

“Then let’s get you another drink,” Azriel replied, dropping the remnant of the cigarette into a puddle of what he hoped was water, extinguishing it immediately.

“Wait,” she said, putting a hand on his arm. The slight touch rooted him in place. “What I meant is, if you weren’t out with us tonight, what would you be doing? What does a normal Friday night look like for Azriel Draeven?”

Azriel was so caught off guard by her touch that he huffed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He faced her fully, now aware of just how close he stood to her. She had to look up to keep her eyes locked with his.

“I don’t know,” he said, quietly. “Watch tv, play some video games, scroll on my phone.” He chuckled. “Have a drink and go to bed.”

Elain watched him for a moment, eyes bright. “That’s all?”

His eyes narrowed at her, trying to figure out if there was an underlying meaning to her question.

“What do you expect me to do at home?” He asked, well aware of the fact that her hand was still on his arm.

She shrugged again, an action that he usually thought was nonchalant, but from her, was just adorable. Looking up at him, she bit her lip. “Are those all things you usually do on your own or is there someone else you do it with?”

Her choice of words seemed to hit them both at the same time. Even in the watery light of the streetlamp at the end of the alley, Azriel could see the blush creeping up Elain’s cheeks and neck.

Choosing to ignore her unintended vernacular, he asked, “Are you asking if I have a girlfriend?”

“I guess I should learn to be more direct, huh,” Elain whispered, and Azriel’s grin spread.

He usually felt uncomfortable when he smiled but not around her. Around her, he felt worthy of smiling, of joy.

“No,” he said, at last. I’ve been waiting for someone, he nearly added, but didn’t. “And you? Anyone special?”

Elain’s hand finally fell from his arm as she shook her head. “No, no one. Not for a few months anyways.”

He nodded and took another step toward her as he asked, “Is there a reason for that?”

That crimson stain on her pale cheeks spread as she said, “Now it’s your turn to be direct, I think.”

Azriel was not known for being direct, for being outspoken. Out of all of the people in their friend group, Azriel was probably the most reserved.

He and Elain both.

Which is why he was grateful for the alcohol coursing through his body, liquid courage, as he asked, his voice low, “Can I kiss you?”

Elain’s breath hitched but she took a step closer, her palms lying flat against his chest, closing the space between them. Her eyes, bright and full of wonder, met his when she whispered, “Please.”

Azriel had had a long time to imagine what kissing Elain would be like. He’d imagined how her lips would feel, what she would taste like, how her hair would feel like silk as he threaded his fingers into it, cupping the back of her head. As he leaned down, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone, he knew his imagination would never stand a chance.

His lips met hers and he couldn’t have ignored the soft, sharp inhale as Elain gasped. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tighter against him as her hands dove into his own hair. Without even realizing it, he’d backed her up until her back was pressed against the brick wall. He traced the seam of her lips, asking for entrance. She opened for him, but then nipped at his bottom lip.

When Azriel pulled back, her eyes were bright, full of life and joy and something else he couldn’t name.

“What were those things you like to do at home on a Friday night?” She breathed, fingers scratching lightly at his scalp. He was having a hard time comprehending her words.

“TV, video games, and a drink,” he said, forehead resting against hers.

Elain caught her bottom lip between her teeth, looking down at their feet before meeting his eyes again. “And all of that, would you like to do it with me?”

He was well aware that she was aware of her words from earlier. Of the callback she was making.

Azriel laughed, quietly. “I would happily do anything with you.”

Elain pulled his face into hers, her hands knotted into his now disheveled hair. His body fell against hers, and every logical thought that was in his mind had vanished for good as his palms braced the wall behind her.

Now that he’d had even the simplest of tastes, he could not keep his mouth off of her.

He hoisted her up, her legs going around his waist as her dress hitched up her thighs, her back still resting against the brick. When his kisses trailed down her neck and she tilted her face towards the sky to give him better access, she breathed, “I can think of a couple places that would be much more comfortable to do this.”

Pulling back, Azriel looked down into her face. Breath coming quickly, he asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no,” she replied, shaking her head. “But we could…go back to my place. Or yours, whichever you’d prefer.”

He blinked and then that broad grin was back on his face. “You’re getting better about that whole direct thing.”

Elain could feel her cheeks heating but Azriel put her down. “My apartment is only a couple blocks from here.” He reached up and brushed his thumb over her mouth. “Want to get out of here?

Her lips parted and she gently took his thumb between her teeth. Everything inside of him went molten at the light sting of pain. He hadn’t been expecting it or the soft brush of her tongue that followed it.

“Let me get my purse,” she breathed, after he’d pulled his hand back. “And tell Feyre and Nesta I’m leaving.”

“Are you going to tell them we’re leaving together?” He asked. She looked up at him.

His hazel eyes had gone impossible dark, the ring of browns and golds and greens nearly swallowed up by the blown out pupil. Lust was written along every line of his body. He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin against his.

Swallowing, Elain asked, “Do you want me to tell them?”

Azriel didn’t hesitate as he nodded. Hell yeah, he did. He wanted them all to know.

Her eyes lit up. “Good.”

She disappeared from sight and once Azriel caught his breath, he was hurrying to his jeep. After tossing the few empty water bottles from his passenger seat into the back, along with the lighter he couldn’t find earlier, he was pulling around to the front of the bar, waiting.

A few minutes passed and he grew anxious, afraid he had done something wrong between the first kiss and now, but then she was walking out the front door and coming straight for him.

She opened the door and fell inside, giggling as she looked at him. “Are you okay to drive?”

He nodded and said, “Just a few beers, plus it’s a short drive.”

She buckled her seatbelt and when she looked back up, they were sharing breath. His hand slid into her hair as he softly kissed her, sweeter than any of the kisses they’d shared so far.

Pulling away, he took a deep breath as he put the car in gear and pulled out onto the main road. His right hand left the wheel and rested on the inside of Elain’s knee. Her focus and every nerve ending seemed to center on the slow circle his finger was drawing on the skin there. There was a rough patch on the tip of each finger, aside from the brutal scarring he often tried to hide. She’d felt them twice now, the first time as he cradled her face in his hands and kissed. She cleared her throat. “What are your calluses from?”

His eyes left the road for a split second, not even realizing his hand had moved up her thigh, incrementally. He was looking back ahead of him, but his thumb squeezed her thigh in time with the circling. “Guitar. I’ve played for nearly fifteen years.”

“Wow,” she breathed, fully turning to face him in the passenger seat. “I had no idea.”

“Seems there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he smirked, but added, “What’d your sisters say when you told them we were leaving together?”

Elain grinned as she turned towards the window. “Nesta’s exact words were, took you long enough. I won’t repeat Feyre’s. They were far too vulgar.”

Azriel was only intrigued more but before he could ask, Elain shifted and his hand slid further up her thigh. She leaned into it and suddenly, the five minute ride to his apartment was excruciating.

He could only imagine that her thoughts were running just as wild as his were. There were so many things he’d like to do to her, with her, but he tried not to get too ahead of himself.

She may want to take things slow, which he would if that’s what she wanted, without any complaints. Those thoughts, though, he couldn’t control.

Azriel pulled into his parking garage before finding a spot and putting his car in park. Once they were out they walked hand in hand into his building, up to his floor, and to his front door.

He had suddenly hoped it wasn’t too messy. Company was the last thing he had expected tonight, and he couldn’t remember exactly what it’d looked like when he stumbled out his door this morning, not having had his morning coffee.

Unlocking the door, he held it open for Elain, and braced himself as he flipped on the light. He wasn’t greeted by a mess, but there was the unmistakable sound of a bell chiming as it grew closer and closer. A sleek, smoky, grey cat poked its head around the corner and gave one mew! of excitement before prancing towards Azriel.

“You have a cat,” Elain beamed, bending down and holding a hand out for the creature to smell.

“This is Jeremy,” Azriel replied as the cat deemed Elain a friend and rubbed his head into her palm.

Her laughter was like windchimes on a spring morning. “Jeremy?”

“Yeah,” he replied, scratching at the back of his neck. “They asked me what I wanted to name and I sort of just blanked. So I went with Jeremy.”

Elain’s laughter was the cutest thing he’d ever heard. Tiny snort included.

Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth, blushing, and stood. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry.”

“You should be,” Azriel joked, scratching the cat behind his ears. “Jeremy doesn’t like to be laughed at.”

Elain’s laughter died down but it still laced her tone when she took a deep breath and said, smile blindingly brilliant, “I’m sorry, Jeremy. What other surprises am I going to find in here?”

Azriel gestured to the entryway they stood in - an open concept where they could see everything but his bedroom and bathroom down the hall. “Take a look around while I make you a drink?”

Elain’s grin softened as she nodded and began her waltz around the room. Azriel watched her tentatively while he walked behind the island and took two glasses from the cabinet, filling them each with whiskey - it was all he had.

Judging by how she handled Fireball, Azriel wasn’t worried.

When he looked up again, Elain was nowhere to be found but he came around the corner to find her near the start of the hallway, looking at his bookshelf that sat against the wall.

“Edgar Allan Poe fan?” Elain asked, fingers grazing a line of vintage collectors novels.

“A little bit,” he admitted, and was about to recite a cheesy quote when Elain started laughing quietly under her breath. She took a framed photo off the shelf of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand in their sophomore year of high school.

“Who are these guys?” She asked, shaking her head. “You were such a cutie. I bet all the girls flocked to you.”

Azriel cringed as he handed her a glass, which she gladly took. “Yeah, I was more of a loner. Had my first girlfriend junior year and when it didn’t work out, there was just a long string of flings after that.”

“And is that still the case?” Elain asked, sipping from her glass. “Just flings?”

There it was again, that air of nonchalant that had Azriel wondering what she truly wanted to ask. He stared at her for a moment, her eyes lit with amusement, and Azriel decided that he liked Elain with a little bit of liquid courage running through her veins. They were far from drunk, but there was just enough for the playfulness to come out.

Azriel set his glass down on the bookshelf before stepping closer to her and leaning down to kiss her, slowly.

There was no rush. He wanted to take it slow, wanted to dwell in this moment with her.

His teeth bit into her lip, just hard enough for her to part her lips, allowing him to slant his mouth over hers. Elain’s tongue brushed along his and he had to fight the groan that overtook him as he shuddered. Her fingers were in his hair, pulling his mouth harder against hers. Azriel obliged. Her glass was long gone and he pushed her back until she bumped into the shelf, books and knickknacks and picture frames rattling with the force. His hands we’re wrapping around her ass, the curves tempting him more than he could even fathom, and lifted her, setting her atop the ledge. All of him was lined up with all of her. Only denim and a few layers of cotton separated them and Elain moaned as he ground the growing evidence of his need into her.

Azriel pulled back slightly, just enough to breathe, “Is that what you want this to be? Just a fling?”

Her caramel eyes were wide, wild, and she shook her head. “Not if that’s not what you want it to be.”

“Once I get a taste of you, I’m not going to be able to stop,” Azriel whispered, dragging his nose along the long column of her neck. “I’m going to want to have you over and over again.”

A chill swept up her spine and when his lips found her collarbone, Elain let out a soft moan. “Then have a taste.”

Azriel cursed, words muffled by her skin beneath his lips. When he leaned back, Elain’s eyes were wild, her cheeks flushed, her chest quickly rising and falling. She meant it. She meant every word, he could tell as a lone finger trailed down his chest and stopped at his belt. She went to start unbuckling, but Azriel grabbed her wrists and pushed them back before falling to his knees before her. In acceptance, Elain spread her legs wider and then Azriel was hiking up the skirt of her dress.

She wore lilac lace panties that were already soaked. Before he pulled them slowly down her legs, he ran his thumb down her covered sex. The feeling of that alone had Elain gasping, scooting closer to the edge.

She was ready for him and Azriel loved the sight of it.

On his knees, he pulled down her thong and threw it aside without any care of where it would end up.

He traced her divide with a lone finger, letting it linger over her clit. He was gazing between her legs, staring. Elain felt the need to squirm, to make him look away, anywhere else. But that gaze was heavy and needy, like a starving man who’d been sat down in front of a feast.

“Beautiful.” His words were whisper soft and Elain could barely hear them over her own panting breaths. “The most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” Her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks heated at his unexpected praise.

She’d never had anyone call her sex beautiful before.

His thumb took the place of his finger, circling her clit slowly. As Elain’s breathing hitched, higher and higher, he slowly, gently pushed a finger inside of her.

Tight and hot and wet.

He slid another finger in and Azriel groaned as she clenched around him.

Suddenly, his fingers were gone and she forgot all about the tender words he’d whispered before. She forgot her name, who she was, as he wound his arms under her legs and gripped her by the thighs and dove right the hell in.

Azriel’s tongue plunged into her and the moan that Elain released was the most erotic, beautiful noise he’d ever heard. He licked her up and down before he set to lapping at her clit and his fingers returned to sliding deep.

Azriel looked up at her through his thick, dark lashes, admiring her raw and unfiltered beauty. Her head was tossed back, her mouth wide open, her entire body rigid as she absentmindedly, gently rocked her hips up into his mouth.

His lips sucked her clit between them, working in time with his tongue, and Elain let out a curse so filthy that he almost paused, having no idea such words lived inside of her vocabulary.

When her knees began to shake around his head, his fingers dug into her ass, holding her in place. The little moans coming from her mouth intensified and those sounds alone were nearly enough for Azriel to get off. She breathed his name and gasped as her fingers dove into his thick, tangled hair.

She came, and Azriel kept going, kept working his fingers, his tongue, his mouth until those little moans stopped, until his name no longer fell from her lips.

When he looked up, he slowly pulled his fingers out of her sex and put them into his mouth, licking them clean. Elain, panting heavily, watched in awe.

“What now?” She asked, legs still spread, dress still hiked up, baring her to him. Pink and pretty and gleaming with the evidence of her release. She was so wet for him, had been soaked before he’d even put his hands on her.

“Now?” He asked, bracing his arms on either side of her, caging her in. Had he always been so much bigger than her? He was all around her, consuming her every thought. Everything she saw, tasted, smelled, it was all Azriel.

“Now that you’ve had a taste,” she asked, tilting her head up, aching for his kiss. “What’s next?”

The devilish smile was the only warning she had before she was suddenly upside down, tossing her over his shoulder. Her laughter broke the tension as he carried her down the hall and opened a door, his hand firmly planted on her ass.

And then she was being tossed onto his bed, the expanse of rumpled grey sheets and soft black blankets warm and welcoming. Her fingers toyed with the soft fabric as Azriel crawled onto the bed and pressed a soft kiss to the inside of her knee and then farther up her thigh.

Instinct had her drawing both knees up, spreading her legs for him again. She hadn’t been expecting him to go down on her again, but she certainly wouldn’t complain about it. The orgasm had been earth shattering, one of the best she’d ever had. If he was this talented with his mouth, she couldn’t wait to see what he could do with other parts.

Those kisses trailed up, from one side to the other, and though he pressed one gentle, sweet kiss to her pussy, that was it. He didn’t stop to suck or bite or lick. Just the one kiss and then he’d continued on, kissing the top of her mound and each hip bone. His lips trailed higher, his hands pulling her dress up as well, until he gazed up at her as he reached her abdomen. “Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at the dress.

“Only if you take off yours as well.” She was panting, her voice needy.

Him. She needed him.

Azriel saw that as an even compromise. He pulled himself off the bed and unbuttoned his shirt before slipping it off and dropping it to the floor. Elain pushed herself up onto her elbows as she watched him unbuckle his belt and kick off his pants. In nothing but his underwear, where his need was on full display, Azriel climbed back up over Elain, slipping her dress up as he went until it was over her head. She laid before him in nothing but her bra and Azriel’s hands freely explored every bare inch.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he whispered, his body fitting snugly against hers as he leaned down to kiss her softly.

Elain swallowed, hands trailing down his back. “I feel like I’m dreaming right now.”

“Is that a good thing?” He asked, his breath warm against her lips.

She nodded, the tips of her fingers disappearing beneath the band of his boxer briefs. He pulled back, giving her room between their bodies.

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat as she slipped her hand in and palmed him. He was frozen, not daring to move as he watched her hand move, obscured by the fabric and then he felt her hand wrap around his length.

She squeezed once, her fingers not quite able to touch each other, and Az’s head dropped into the

crook of her neck. He swore, voice husky and deep and it had Elain arching up into him.

She started to stroke him, slowly, and his lips found her neck, sucking and biting, teasing and taunting each other in the most sinful way.

“I want to see you.” Elain’s voice was desperate, pleading.

He couldn’t have denied her anything at that moment.

Azriel rolled to the side, begrudgingly losing the silken touch of her hand on him. He lifted his hips and removed his boxer briefs, tossing them to the side. As he was about to climb over her again, a hand pressed to his chest and pushed him back on the bed. He willingly laid down, eyes on her face. But she wasn’t looking at him.

She was looking at his cock. Staring, eyes wide, cheeks flushed.

Azriel didn’t dare speak, didn’t dare disrupt what was going on inside of her mind. He held his breath, watching, waiting until she took hold of him and slowly pumped once and then twice before leaning down. When she licked the tip of his cock, her eyes finally met his.

The display before him put to shame every dream he’d ever had of this exact moment.

Her mouth slid over his head and down his hardened length until she took in as much of him as she could. With her tongue sliding freely against him, her head began to bob, her hands joining in, one fisting his cock and the other cradling his balls.

Azriel’s head fell back against his pillows, one hand gripping his sheets and the other weaving its way into her long hair.

Every time she went down, a quiet noise came from the back of Azriel’s throat. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t care, either. He wanted to know all the sounds she could make him make.

Letting her hand take over for her mouth, she looked up at him. “Is this okay?”

Okay? It was better than okay, it was phenomenal, probably of the best head he’d ever had.

How was she the most adorable thing he’d ever seen, even while she played with his cock?

“Amazing,” he breathed.

She smiled then, looking so cute and sexy all at once and everything he’d ever let himself dream of.

Azriel couldn’t stop himself as he hauled her up the length of his body and crashed his lips against hers. Pulling away for a frantic breath, he whispered, “I need to be inside of you.”

Elain sat up, straddling his hips, reaching between them. His hands rested on her hips and he looked up at her.

“I can wear a condom, if you want.” He didn’t mind. He was clean, rarely went without one. But with her…

He didn’t know why, but he wanted her raw. Wanted to feel everything as her orgasm slammed into her and that delicious pussy came around him.

She shook her head. “I’m on the pill.”

There was silence for a moment, but then Azriel swallowed. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated, voice soft.

Rising up on her knees, she gripped him, leading him to her center. Positioning him at her entrance, she placed her hands on his chest and sank down.

Azriel cursed, soft and vicious, fingers digging into the soft curves of her hips.

For a moment, she did nothing. When she was seated snugly upon him, her eyelids fluttered shut and she breathed, evenly, adjusting to his size, his length, inside of her. Then she began to rock, slowly, palms laid out flat against the ink on his chest. She sucked in her bottom lip and Azriel couldn’t stop staring.

It was erotic, sure, but it was also beautiful, so beautiful that Azriel didn’t think anything or anyone else would ever even compare to this moment, this vision of Elain, completely bare, slowly riding him in complete and utter ecstasy.

His hands moved along with her hips, not guiding, she had that covered. He could hear their ragged breaths in the quiet and stillness of his bedroom.

She felt so incredibly good.

And then her eyes opened.

Eyes that were bright with pleasure and ecstasy and something else he couldn’t name, yet knew was written across his own face. Her hips rose suddenly, rather than rocking, and when she dropped back down, they both gasped.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, reaching up and cupping the back of her head in his hand.

Elain nodded, leaning down towards him, still so full of his cock that words were impossible. His mouth was on hers as soon as she was close enough and he wrapped one of his strong arms around her waist.

He released her lips and breathed, “Do it again.”

She didn’t sit all the way up this time, just enough to lift her hips, but did as she was told. Again and again and again, until she was clawing at his chest, a moaning, quivering mess, right on the edge of release.

The hand that was still woven into her hair tightened, pulling her mouth back down to his, and he snapped his hips up into hers. She cried out, the sound muffled by the savage kiss, and he thrust up into her again, eliciting the same reaction. Only two more hard, deep thrusts was all it took.

Elain shattered around him, crying out as she did so, her nails digging into his skin to keep herself grounded.

Azriel continued to thrust himself up inside of her, a little slower, a little gentler each time until she was nothing more than a quivering pool lying against his chest.

He gave her a moment to breathe, gave her a moment to piece herself back together before he pulled on those beautiful golden-brown locks until she met his gaze.

“Fuck,” he breathed, and she had no words but she nodded in perfect agreement.

He was still buried deep inside of her when she sat up and pulled on his hips, not wanting him to take himself out for even a second. Azriel rolled them over until he was on top and framed her face in his hands before he kissed her.

It wasn’t hot and hungry like it had been before, but slow and sensual.

He kissed her until her hands left his chest, started roaming over his body. Kissed her until her legs wrapped around his waist, begging for more without having to say a word. Grinding his hips into hers, pushing her into the bed.

Wrenching her mouth from his, Elain moaned and Azriel’s kisses continued on her neck, her throat. He kissed down to the valley of her breasts, still contained in her bra, and he slid his scarred hands beneath her and unclasped it. As he sat up, giving her room, Elain removed her bra straps one by and tossed it aside, both of them completely bare to the other at last, his hard, thick cock still inside her.

She could have sworn she felt him throbbing deep inside as his eyes took in her breasts, hands cupping each. His mouth covered one, tongue swirling around her rosy, pink nipple, and sucked as he palmed the other. His teeth bit down and Elain moaned his name, the word tumbling from her lips like a prayer.

It snapped whatever tether he had on his restraint.

Sitting up on his knees, Azriel gripped Elain by the hips, pulling nearly all the way out, and slammed back in.

Elain cried out, her back bowing off the bed, not in pain, but overwhelming, all-consuming pleasure.

He set an unrelenting pace, fucking her as hard and deep as he could, watching as she fell to pieces beneath him. Elain gripped her breast with one hand, her other circling her clit frantically.

“You close, baby?” He asked, lips right by her ear. His voice was lower and deeper than she’d ever heard it. The sound of it and the unexpected use of a pet name alone nearly threw her over the edge, starlight and fireworks and ecstasy shimmering around her vision.

She met his gaze and nodded, reaching for him. Azriel covered her body with his, his mouth slanting over hers. His thrusts were relentless, driving home hard and fast and deep, and Elain’s release slammed into her. She moaned, loud and slow, and Azriel fell over the edge right alongside her, pulling out and spilling himself on the creamy skin of her stomach.

Azriel’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head, his body fully rigid as he came. Elain watched, chest heaving, utterly in awe of the sight before her. He was beautiful, and for a moment Elain thought that it was strange to think so. She had never thought that men were beautiful, at least not in the sense she felt when she looked at Azriel, just then, after making love to her so perfectly.

He collapsed onto her body, careful not to crush her as rested his forehead in the crook of her neck, but rolled them onto their sides. The softest of touches brushed along her arm, along the column of her neck until she squirmed.

Azriel’s fingers froze as he chuckled. “Ticklish, too? Look at all the things I’m learning about you tonight.”

His voice remained low, rough, tired but carefree. She smiled as she started running her fingertips up and down his muscular back. “I’m not ticklish,” she muttered, but they both knew it was a total lie.

They laid in contentment, both of them with their hands on one another as they caught their breaths.

Then they heard a growling, grumbling noise, and Azriel pulled back to look at Elain.

She was blushing, looking like she wanted to melt into the mattress.

“Hungry?” he asked, grinning down at her.

“I didn't get dinner,” she admitted, biting her lip. “Sorry, that was so loud.”

“You let me get inside of you,” Azriel teased, burying his face in her neck, biting the sensitive skin there. “You’ll moan my name as you cum, tear at my back, but you get embarrassed when your stomach growls a little too loudly post sex?”

“It’s not lady-like,” she laughed, playfully pushing him away.

He did as she bade him, rolling away from her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He returned from the attached bathroom a minute later, a warm washcloth in his hand, still gloriously naked. Shamelessly, Elain watched as he approached, taking in every inch of sculpted muscle and inked skin. He smirked, not saying anything about her blatant ogling, but he hadn’t failed to notice the way her eyes caught on certain parts of his body, lingering just a longer than others. Azriel quietly cleaned her up, then tugged her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her. As he leaned down to kiss her, her stomach made another room-deafening growl and she buried her face into his bare chest as he began to laugh. Grabbing a t-shirt from his dresser, he pressed a kiss to her head. “Let’s get you something to eat before you decide to eat me.”

Elain took his shirt, which swallowed her as she put it on. She left him standing in the middle of his bedroom as she paused in the doorway to the hallway and the kitchen beyond, looking back at him. “Oh don’t worry. I’ll do that again later.”

Without another word, she padded towards the kitchen on bare feet.

His eyes darkened as he watched her go, long, tan legs tempting him from beneath his t-shirt.

When he’d decided to go out with his friends after work, this was the last thing Azriel had ever expected to happen. He’d left his comfort zone, taking a chance on a night of fun rather than spending another night home alone.

As he followed her into the kitchen, picking her up and setting her on the counter to watch as he made his infamous microwaved ramen, he was sure as hell glad that he had.

[snelbz]

The Night Before Christmas {Feysand}

A little Christmas in July! Enjoy!

Written with @theladyofdeath.

Feyre was overwhelmed.

It was the night before Christmas and, unlike the cherished story she read in her childhood, everyone was not in bed or quiet. Nyx was, but he was the only one. In the living room, Bad Santa played on the t.v. in the background while Rhysand was currently on the floor, cursing over a papercut he’d just gotten from the elf-covered wrapping paper. Stockings were hung by the chimney with care, however, so she supposed that was something. 

After mumbling something crude about how he was bleeding all over the elves, Rhysand got to his feet and went into the kitchen for a bandaid. 

“Grab a bottle of wine  while you’re at it,” Feyre called after him, looking at all they still had to do. Being Nyx’s first Christmas, the two new parents were not at all prepared for all the holiday brought with a child. Either that or they went overboard, because toys littered the living room floor and, at eleven o’clock on Christmas Eve, none of them were wrapped. Yet, they wanted it to be perfect, wanted Nyx to feel the holiday magic of the most wonderful day of the year, so there they were, exhausted and…trying their best. “We’re going to need it.”

Rhysand returned a moment later with a Cocomelon bandaid wrapped around his finger and a full bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Feyre raised a brow.

He shrugged, then gave her a small grin. “I thought we needed something stronger.”

She gave him a loving shake of the head before she pointed towards the nest of wrapping paper, tape, and bows he’d been sitting in the moment before. “You keep wrapping, I’ll get the stockings stuffed.”

He cracked the lid as he sat down, downing far more of the amber liquid than Feyre would have suggested, but he went back to work. Unable to stop herself, she bent down, kissing his whiskey soaked lips, and sipped from the bottle.

She was just putting a few sensory toys in Nyx’s stocking when Rhysand swore again, low and vicious. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered, a bead of red appearing along the pad of his finger. He shook his finger, groaning. “He’s ten months old, he can’t even open presents on his own.”

“It’s the thought,” she explained, topping Nyx’s stocking off with a bathtime bubble book. “We’re going to look back at this and be proud of our first Christmas parenting skills.”

He shook his head, leaving to enter the kitchen once again. He came back a minute later with the entire box of bandaids before taking his place on the floor and finally finishing wrapping the box that had been defeating him. He stuck a bow on the top and shoved it under the tree that they had picked out from the tree farm the week before. They had helped Nyx put the non-breakable ornaments on the branches, resulting in some extremely precious pictures. 

“Besides,” Feyre went on, making sure Rhysand wasn’t looking as she slipped an envelope out of her pocket and slipped it into Rhys’ stocking, “you’d feel bad if we didn’t go all out.”

He sighed and she knew she was right. Rhysand was even more extra by nature than she was. 

Once she was done with the stockings, they passed around the whiskey bottle once more before she joined Rhysand on the floor and took a roll of paper for herself. 

It took nearly two hours, but all of the presents got wrapped and most of the bottle was gone. By the time Feyre placed the last wrapped present under the tree, Rhys was taking a large bite from one of the cookies they’d put out for “Santa” and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Again, he’s ten months old. He doesn’t even know who Santa is yet or whether or not he’s eaten the cookies we left out for him.”

“Shhh…” Rhys hushed her, his mouth still full of sugar cookie and sprinkles. “It’s all about the magic, remember?”

“It’s all about the magic,” she repeated, rising up on her toes to give him a kiss.

After she brushed off the cookie crumbs, of course.

While he was distracted in the kitchen, Feyre hurried upstairs, retrieving the two presents she’d wrapped and stashed in the back of her closet, behind her purses and shoes. The one place he would never look.

As she stood on the landing at the top of the stairs, she waited, hearing Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You through the speaker system. It was turned down, not loud enough to disturb their sleeping child, but still, Feyre couldn’t stop her quiet laughter as she hurried down the stairs.

She’d just tossed his presents in the pile to the side of the tree, which was less likely to be noticed, when he came around the corner. “What time is everyone coming over?”

Feyre quickly spun around. “Ten, I think.”

Rhysand groaned. “That’s so early.”

Feyre chuckled, feeling light on her feet as she met Rhysand in the middle of the living room. “We get up at six every morning with Nyx.”

“But it’s a holiday, that means sleeping in,” he replied, sliding his arms around her waist.

Feyre laughed. “Who doesn’t wake up early on Christmas to see what Santa got them?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes but leaned in to kiss her, cutting off her laughter with his lips. He tasted purely of whiskey, and Feyre had no idea why she found that so charming and attractive, but she did. Probably because she was sure that she tasted the same. 

When he leaned back, his eyes were soft, even though they were pretty glazed over. “I love you. And I love Nyx,” he said, quietly. “This is already my favorite Christmas.”

It was no secret that Rhysand’s childhood was messy, and that was putting it lightly. While his mother did what she could, his father was a grade-A asshole. His Christmases growing up were not traditional. There were no gifts wrapped under the tree, there were no stockings hung, and there were no cookies set out for Santa.

It wasn’t until he got with Feyre that he started having those sweet little traditional Christmases, and now they got to share the joy with their son for the very first time.

“I love you so much,” Feyre whispered, and kissed him again. She wasn’t sure how much time passed as she kissed her husband in the middle of the living room, but when she leaned back, she yawned. “We should probably go to bed so we’re not cranky as hell and hungover tomorrow morning when the Nyx-alarm goes off.”

“I think the hungover ship had sailed,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at her. “We could go expend a bit more energy, you know, in case we have trouble falling asleep.”

“I don’t think we’ll have any trouble with that.” Feyre picked up what was left of the bottle of whiskey and headed for the kitchen, turning off Mariah Carey as she headed for the fridge. When she came back, Rhys was pouting where she’d left him in the living room. As she approached him, his pout faltered and then he yawned.

Feyre’s smile was nothing short of triumphant.

“Fine, we’ll go to sleep,” he said, following her up the stairs. “But I’m holding your boobs as I do.”

Feyre laughed, only quieting when they passed the nursery. “I wouldn’t complain about that.”

It’s just what he did, too, after they washed up, brushed their teeth, and changed into something more comfortable to sleep in. After snuggling up together, Rhysand pulled her back against him and put his arms around her. He fell fast asleep with each hand palming a breast.

Feyre felt like she had just closed her eyes when Nyx’s soft morning cries came through the baby monitor. Rhysand mumbled something incoherent as he rolled around on the bed. Considering he was still apparently in dreamland, Feyre swung her legs over the mattress and strode groggily down the hallway.

Nyx had pulled himself up and was standing in his crib with teary eyes in his Christmas pajamas. As soon as Feyre rounded the corner, those tears were gone and he was grinning a toothy grin. 

“Hi, sweet boy,” Feyre whispered as she approached. “Good morning, my love. Merry Christmas.”

He grunted happily as his little legs bounced him up and down, not quite a jump, but more than a dip. His top teeth hadn’t cut through yet, though they were expecting to see them anyday, so all Feyre could see were two tiny teeth smiling up at her. Bright, blue eyes were shining, curious and full of wonder, as if he knew exactly what day it was.

Dadadadada.

Feyre chuckled as she carried him over to the changing table. “Daddy is hungover, he’ll be up soon.”

Nyx continued to babble as he rolled around the changing table, Feyre doing her best to get his diaper changed and get his jammies zipped back up. Stopping to grab his stuffed cow, Feyre carried him back into their bedroom, where Rhys was, as she expected, still fast asleep. His little legs were already going crazy before Feyre even had a chance to put him on the bed. “Go get daddy.”

The second Nyx was put on the bed, he was pulling himself towards Rhysand. His little, chubby hand came up and patted his cheek again and again until Rhysand opened his eyes. He was a little pale, having drunk far more than Feyre the night before, but smiled when he saw his son’s smile an inch away from his face. He laughed, quietly. “Hi, buddy. Merry Christmas.”

Nyx let out a squeal of delight as Rhysand lifted him up in the air above him. Feyre watched the scene, so ridiculously in love, that it made her heart ache. 

“Doesn’t mommy look pretty this morning?” Rhysand asked his son, who was now sitting on Rhysand’s stomach.

Nyx looked at Feyre and smiled.

“Yeah, I know,” Rhysand went on, winking at his wife. “I’m hoping to get her under the mistletoe today. Fingers crossed.”

Nyx giggled but Feyre rolled her eyes with a heartfelt laugh. “Yeah, yeah. Come on. Let's do breakfast then we’ll see what Santa brought!”

Nyx giggled, although it was mostly due to Feyre tickling him as she spoke. She didn’t care if Nyx understood Christmas yet, though. She was still excited to share the morning with her boys for the first time, together. 

While Rhys threw a batch of cinnamon rolls in the oven to cook, Feyre got Nyx in his high chair with a bottle and some puffs, and then poured two cups of coffee. Placing Rhys’s in front of him, she leaned up, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

She turned to head into the living room, to start separating presents into piles, but Rhysand’s arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her back against his chest. His mouth was on hers, Nyx babbling in protest as he always did when daddy kissed mommy, and he couldn’t stop his sleep-rough chuckle. “Merry Christmas, Feyre, darling.”

Smiling against his lips, she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”

A clatter from behind them had them turning to see Nyx’s bottle on the floor and his little spoon in his hand, ready to throw as well. His babbling was quickly becoming squealing as he realized the attention was no longer on him.

“I’m allowed to kiss her as much as I want,” he said, crossing the room to lean down and fold his arms across his son’s high chair tray. “She was mine first, you know.”

Nyx reached out with both hands and patted his father’s face, grinning.

Rhysand chuckled and Feyre watched the scene with so much love and adoration that she thought her heart might physically burst.

After a messy breakfast that warranted cleaning up, the three of them sat in the living room and began opening gifts. Rhysand had spoiled Feyre, just as he always had, and Feyre had done the same for him even though she was obviously surprised, unsure of when Rhysand had gotten her anything and wrapped it.

Most of the gifts beneath the tree were for Nyx, and it was quite the timely experience getting him to open them all. For every present he opened, with the help of his parents, he would want to play with it for a while before moving onto the next gift. 

The amount of pictures that Feyre got on her phone in a two hour span was absurd.

Her family was going to be there in less than an hour and the living room was currently a wreck. She was humming a Christmas song as she moved around with a trash bag, picking up ripped paper and salvaging the gift bows she could, when she heard from across the room, “Psst.”

Turning, she took in the sight before her. One more picture, she thought, knowing she’d want this memory forever.

Rhys was sitting on the couch, the foot rest popped out beneath his long legs, and Nyx was sprawled out in the space between his arm and his body, clutching the fluffy, stuffed puppy he’d gotten from Santa, fast asleep.

On silent feet, Feyre approached the couch and sat down. “He’s still got thirty minutes before nap time,” she whispered, gently moving a strand of his dark hair off his forehead.

Rhysand smiled down at his son, whose mouth was wide open against his chest. “He had a big morning, must have tuckered him out.”

Feyre laid down against Rhysand’s opposite side and draped her arm around his waist. His arm went around her, holding his wife and son close to him. 

“I’m pretty tuckered out, too,” Feyre confessed with a yawn. “Playing Santa is no joke.”

Rhysand hummed his agreement. “Whiskey made it easier, though.”

Feyre laughed quietly. “I don’t know if you noticed, but with every present we gave Nyx, the wrapping got significantly sloppier.”

Rhysand chuckled. “Oh, I noticed.”

Feyre moved to get up and finish cleaning up the carpet, but Rhysand’s arm around her tightened.

“They’ll be here soon,” Feyre protested, but fell right back into him, her cheek laying on his shoulder, softly brushing a finger over Nyx’s chubby hand.

“It’s just paper, who gives a damn,” Rhysand mumbled and kissed her forehead. “Sit here with me for just a minute.”

So she did, she stayed and snuggled up against him and watched as Nyx clutched his stuffed animal in the comfort of his father’s arms. Even with the living room a complete mess and a house full of guests on their way, Feyre deemed her morning utter perfection.

She knew that Nyx’s first Christmas would be one to remember, but it was truly a day she would never forget. 

[snelbz]

When We Were Young {Masterlist}

The DILF series, part 3.

Ship: Hunt x Bryce

Summary: After a series of tragic events, Bryce is forced to raise her daughter alone until her ex and father of her child, Hunt, gets discharged from the military. When he comes back to town, Bryce finds that the past cannot simply be forgotten.

Warnings: Mature content throughout. Language, sex, drinking, etc. 

A @snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Chapter One - Then

Chapter Two - Now

Chapter Three - Then

Chapter Four - Now

Chapter Five - Then

Chapter Six - Now

Chapter Seven - Then

Chapter Eight - Now

Chapter Nine - Then

Chapter Ten - Now

[swankii-art-teacher]

Love a Lorcan who's turning soft and finding his morality... maybe Rowan's rubbing off on him and being enamored with Elide.

'Till Death Do Us Part {Chapter Six}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab.

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide -

“I can’t believe you’re going to be married in less than six weeks.” 

As soon as the words leave Aelin’s mouth, nerves fill my stomach. Just a handful of weeks and I’ll be a married woman.

To a man that I’ve never met.

It’s as daunting as it is exciting. I’d found my dress the day after I found out that I had been accepted into the program, and all it needed was a veil to go with it. Which is what I’m working on now at Aelin’s apartment. My simple lace veil that I cut and stitched is sitting on a mannequin head as I look down at my tray of beads. 

“You know,” Aelin chimes from where she sits on her couch with a glass of wine and my wedding planning notebook, “you could just buy a veil and not put in the thirty hours it’s going to take you to hand stitch that.”

I chuckle as I shake my head. “Maybe so, but I’m going to make it exactly how I like it. No one else in the world will have this veil. It’ll be special.”

Aelin’s eyes softened as she flipped to my checklist. “You’re right. You’re going to look so beautiful… I can’t wait.”

My cheeks warm as I thread my needle. “Thanks. Oh, don’t forget, we have to pick up your maid of honor dress tomorrow. It’s supposed to be in in the morning.”

Draping her arm over the back of the couch in classic dramatic Aelin fashion, she says, “Like I could forget about that dress. I’ve been starving myself to fit into it.”

She had, in fact, not been starving herself, thanks to her already killer body. Fitting into that dress would be no problem, and she knew it. 

My dress won’t be ready until the week of the wedding, thanks to the bustle I asked them to add for the train. I’m already clumsy and I’m short. I don’t need to be tripping over the train of my dress and falling on my face in front of my new husband and his family.

His family.

I’m sure his side of the aisle is going to be filled with people who love and care for him. Mine is going to have Aelin and Rowan and…that’s it. I don’t have parents that support me or siblings that want the best for me. I don’t have any grandparents or cousins.

And my uncle sure as hell isn’t invited.

Hopefully, by marrying into it, I’ll get the family I’ve already dreamed of.

“You know what else we need to get?” Aelin asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I look back down into the tray of beads, going with a tiny iridescent one, that changes color depending on what angle the light hits it. “Hmm?”

She wiggles her eyebrows. “Your wedding night lingerie.”

My steady hand isn’t so steady as I start to sew, pricking directly into my finger as her words register. Blood wells, dripping onto my leg. I stand, careful not to drop into the floor or my veil, and head for the kitchen.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” Aelin jumps up and follows me.

Rinsing my hand off, I hiss as it stings a bit and grab a paper towel. “I’m fine, just stuck myself.” I clear my throat. “We’ll have literally just met, Ace. I don’t think I’ll need any lingerie.”

She blinks at me. “You’ll be married, Elide… You have to treat this like a real marriage.”

“And I’m going to,” I reply, my anxiety already rising. I think I might be breaking out in hives. “But… I can’t have sex with him the night I meet him. That’s… It… Sex has to mean something to me.”

She still says nothing and then her eyes go wide. “Are you telling me you haven’t fucked anyone since you ask Ren broke up?”

My cheeks heat. “No.”

Aelin grabs my good hand. “Gods, Elide, I knew the last few guys had sucked, but I figured you’d at least hooked up with someone since Ren. It’s been over two years.

She squeezes my hand for emphasis, in case I somehow missed the fact that it had been two years since my last relationship.

I sigh as I tear my gaze away from hers. “It’s not like I haven’t wanted to, I just… I don’t know. Ren was everything to me, you know? To just give my body to anybody after that…” I shake my head. “With him, it was something special. I’ve never been interested in sex for the sake of having sex. That’s what the contents of my nightstand are for.”

Aelin laughs but her eyes remain soft, serious. “Well, I respect that…but either way, we need to do some lingerie shopping. Whether he sees it or not, you deserve to feel sexy. And when you are ready, you’re going to want to have something in your closet that’ll blow his mind.”

I laugh because she’s completely ridiculous, but also because the thought excites me. I haven’t bought new lingerie since I was with Ren. A new life, a marriage, meant that I should be moving on once and for all. Maybe a new drawer of lingerie in my dresser could signify that. 

I open my mouth to reply but the front door opens and I’m not about to continue this conversation in front of Rowan.

“Aelin?” He calls and Aelin rolls her eyes but she’s smiling fondly. That smile makes my heart ache, makes it long for me to hopefully soon feel the same way about someone.

“Kitchen!” She calls. “Elide is here so when you walk into the living room, touch nothing!”

Rowan’s footsteps come to a stop.

As does another set followed by an oof and a muttered, “The fuck are you stopping in front of me for?”

Aelin’s eyes go wide and she looks from me to the doorway. Before I can ask what’s going on, Rowan hollers back, “Lorcan and I just finished up at the gym. We were gonna play through a couple songs he’s been working on.”

Lorcan.

The name is familiar. I know he’s one of Rowan’s band mates, but I listened to all of twenty seconds of one of their songs when Rowan and Aelin met and that was enough for me. Personally, I think music should be able to be understood, but that’s just me.

So I have no idea if Lorcan is the drummer or singer — can you technically call him a singer if he’s screaming everything? — or bass player. Rowan plays guitar, but while I assume that role is covered, metal bands could have two guitarists. They’re certainly loud enough for two.

“Dude. Don’t broadcast that. They’re not ready.”

His voice is low and rumbly and rough.

Rowan replies, “It’s my girlfriend and her best friend, dumbass. They aren’t going to say anything.”

These two sound more like brothers than best friends. I’ve still got a bloody paper towel wrapped around my hand and Aelin suddenly remembers why we were in the kitchen in the first place. “Shit, first aid kit.”

She hurries out into the living room, towards the guest bathroom where I know she keeps the bandaids and other medical essentials for emergencies. Pulling the paper towel off, I rinse the prick under the sink again. It’s barely bleeding at this point, but I’ll let Aelin doctor it up since she went to the trouble of getting the first aid kit.

As I shut the water off, I hear Lorcan’s low voice, but only catch the tail end of the sentence. “…looks like Pinterest threw up in here.”

I blink, knowing we’d left a few bridal magazines open, there were some fabric swatches on the coffee table, and, of course, my unfinished veil. But I didn’t think it was that bad.

Aelin returned and must’ve seen my frown because she asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, but can’t say anything more because Aelin is pulling me from the kitchen towards the stairs. “Where are you taking me?”

“You lost a lot of blood.” She winks. “Thought you may like to lie down.”

I blink and laugh as I shake my head. “I’m fine.” I nod to her hand. “Thank you for my bandaid. I have to get back to work. There’s only so much time—”

Rowan rounds the corner and behind him stands a giant. Literally, he’s a giant. I can tell his hair is long even though it’s pulled back and his muscles are certainly eye-catching. He wears a tanktop and basketball shorts that suit him. He’s undeniably handsome.

I see a glint of metal on his face and—

And he has a nose ring. 

His eyes meet mine and one brow quirks before they roam my body.

My cheeks heat. 

I hardly notice that Aelin has gone still, that she shoots Rowan a look but her boyfriend is grinning and I feel like I’ve missed something, but I can’t look away from this man and his wandering eyes. 

“Hey,” he says, and I nearly jump when he speaks. I was so focused, too focused on how he was looking at me. “I’m Lorcan.” He nods to Aelin. “Aelin.”

“Hey,” Aelin says, and she stretches out the word as she takes my hand. “Elide was just bleeding to death. Excuse us.”

She tugs me towards the stairs again, and this time I relent. Mostly because I want to get out from under Lorcan’s stare. There’s something about him that makes me…nervous. He’s definitely a bad boy, that much is clear. Prince Charming didn’t have facial piercings and neck tats.

Besides, I’m getting married in six weeks. I shouldn’t be worried about how some rockstar was just looking me up and down with fuck me eyes.

I mean, he was, wasn’t he? That’s what the up and down, up and down was before his intense stare met mine.

My brain catches on the other red flag in that sentence.

Rockstar.

Regardless of what instrument he plays, that man downstairs is a world famous rockstar. He probably sees a girl and if he wants her, he has her. That type of guy will never want to settle down and get married.

Sighing, I thank the gods for sending the exception to my best friend.

Lorcan -

As soon as the girls’ footsteps recede, Rowan heads for the fridge. He opens it up, grabbing two protein shakes and tosses one to me. “So…that was Elide.”

The way he says it is…weird.

I’ve known the man half my life and he’s hiding something.

“I gathered,” I say, twisting off the top and chugging it in one go. “Weird that I’ve never met with how long you’ve been dating Aelin.”

He drinks his at a normal pace, like a normal human, and nods. “That’s a very intentional move.”

I whirl towards him after I throw out the empty container. “What? Why?”

The motherfucker snorts as if it’s not only funny, but obvious. “Because Aelin’s friends are off limits.”

“She let me meet Lysandra.” She was hot. She’d also puked all over me in the back of a limo, which is a pretty immediate boner killer.

“Lysandra is engaged to her cousin,” Rowan responds. “So there’s zero chance of you trying to fuck her.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Does that mean Elide is single?”

He punches my arm, much harder than I’m anticipating. “You’re getting married in six weeks, remember?”

I grunt as I rub the stretch of skin his fist came in contact with. “Yeah, doesn’t mean I’m married yet.”

Rowan stares at me for a minute before cursing. “You’re serious.” I don’t see what the big deal is, which apparently has him feeling incredibly disappointed in me. I know this when he begins his lecture. “Lor, you can’t go around trying to fuck every woman you find attractive. You have to save it for your wife.”

I look down at the it he’s referring to with a frown. It’s already been over a week since my last hookup. That in itself is a miracle. “I don’t recall that being a part of the deal.”

“It’s not,” Rowan grumbled, “but it should be a part of your morals.”

I look to the spot where Elide disappeared too soon. She was far hotter than any girl I’d been with in years. Fuck, I can’t remember the last time I’d been with a woman as gorgeous as her. 

“Lorcan,” Rowan snapped, bringing me back to our conversation. “Are you listening?”

“Yes, dad,” I mumble and know it’s petty but I also don’t give a damn. 

“Fuck you.” He lifts his fist and for a second, I think he might punch me again. Instead, he shoves me. “Come on, let’s go over those lyrics you wrote.”

With that, he heads back out towards the living room and I follow. As we head for the basement where his studio is, I look around at the different magazines open around the room, the pictures of flowers printed out and laid next to different colored fabrics, and the long, intricate piece of sheer fabric laid out over a chair.

I look at the pieces one more time before looking at the room as a whole. “Are you and Aelin getting married or something?”

Rowan’s hand pauses on the doorknob. “No, definitely not, why would you ask?”

“Because your living room is full of wedding shit?”

He hesitates for a beat too long before saying, “Elide makes her own clothes and lotions and candles and shit. She must be helping someone with a wedding and making their veil.”

It makes sense, especially because I’d apparently not been allowed to meet Elide, since she was single, so it can’t be her stuff.

I pause, my earlier confusion about not being allowed to meet her previously turning into anger.

“You know what?” I shake my head, backing up. “I’m actually not feeling well. I think I’m gonna head home. We can work on the songs tomorrow.”

I don’t want to be pissed at my best friend, because he was right. He’d made the right move, but it doesn’t make me any less mad. It just makes me mad at myself. If I’d been allowed to meet Elide before now, I definitely would have tried to fuck her.

Hell, I still want to now, but there’s no way Aelin wouldn't find out, and I have zero doubt that she would tattle to her boss. I’d get kicked out of the study and that’s not what I’m trying to have happen.

I want to get married. I want to have that one person who promises to be there for me just like I’ll be there for her. But I don’t have time to wade through the girls who claim they want me for me and not for my money. And once I get married, no one will ever be more faithful than I am.

But I’m not married yet, and Aelin’s hot, little best friend has got my dick feeling some kind of way.

I gotta get out of here.

His eyes narrow slightly. He doesn’t look suspicious, just like he’s checking me out. After a second, he nods. “You didn’t drink enough water today.”

“I’ll get something to drink,” I promise.

Won’t be water, but I’ll definitely be drinking.

He watches me for another second before nodding. “Come by around eleven tomorrow,” he says. “Aelin will be at work.”

“Great.” I tell him goodbye and let out a sigh of relief once I’m out the door. I suddenly feel like a shit best friend and a shit future husband and contemplate everything. 

I need that drink.

Once behind the wheel of my car, I can’t decide whether I want to wind up at the bar or raid the local liquor store, but I decide on the first so I can have someone mix my drinks for me.

I pull into the parking lot of one of Terrasen’s most rundown establishments and enter through the windowless door in the alley. The poor customers of the dive bar probably have no idea what time it is or most likely don’t even remember their own names at this point.

My kind of people.

Once I’m seated at the bar I order a Jack and coke for one hand and whatever the bartender recommended on tap for the other. I down the first before starting on the second, another glass already on its way.

It’s probably not the best way of dealing with shit, but at least I’m handling it alone and no one else is getting dragged into my messed up thoughts.

I can’t stop picturing Elide.

She was wearing comfy clothes, but even beneath the too big t-shirt and leggings, I could tell she had a body I could get behind. Literally. I would do just about anything to get behind her right now.

I feel even shittier, because I’ve heard Aelin talk about her before, but can’t recall anything about her. I knew she existed, I just assumed she wasn’t around cause she was busy or didn’t want to meet me for whatever reason, that she didn’t like our music or something. I didn’t think much about her cause I didn’t know her.

Now I want to.

I want to actually know her, who she is. I don’t just want to fuck her, but it would be really cool if I could do that, too.

I finish off the beer, just as the bartender brings me my second drink. I tell him I’ll let him know when I’m ready for another and he leaves me to wallow in my misery.

If I hadn’t signed up for the marriage study, maybe I could have had a chance to know her.

Never know now though.

As I take a drink, I gaze down the bar, catching the eyes of two women. They both have the look of someone who would be at a bar in the middle of the day on a Sunday, but so am I, so who am I to judge?

Speaking of, if I’m going to get drunk on a Sunday afternoon, I’m gonna make it count. I flag down the bartender. He’s an older guy, somewhere between fifty and sixty, if the heavily salt-and-peppered dark hair is any indication. As he stops in front of me, I ask, “What would it take to get you to just leave what’s left of that bottle of Jack with me?”

He shook his head. “No can do. I’ve got—”

I pull my wallet out of the hidden pocket of my shorts and pull two hundred dollar bills out, dropping them on the bar. If I’m going to mope, I’d at least like to mope without having to ask for a refill.

With his hands on his hips, the bartender looks at the money, his lips pursed. Without another word, he turns to the bottles of liquor on the wall behind the bar, and rather than grabbing the almost empty one he’d been pouring from, to my surprise, grabs a brand new bottle. It’s even still got the seal on it.

He sets it down in front of me, but doesn’t release it until I meet his eye. “Don’t make me regret this.”

I nod and he gives me a large glass of ice, before I swipe both and go find a nice dark booth to settle in. After pouring a few fresh ice cubes into what remained of my old drink, I rip the plastic off the bottle and open it, pouring a healthy glass before I put it to my lips.

Getting shit faced before two pm. Not one of my finer moments.

As I look around the bar, the two women catch my eye again. The prettier of the two, the one with blonde hair cut to her chin, is already looking at me. I nod my head, gesturing for them to join me. If I’ve got an entire bottle, I might as well share.

Blondie whispers something to her friend and then they’re walking over and sliding into the booth across from me.

“Hi,” blondie croons, her smile sweet and seductive. 

“Hey,” I say, then wink at her friend. She flips her hair over her shoulder. “What’re your names?”

Blondie shakes her head. “You don’t get the luxury of that knowledge, not yet.”

That’s probably a good thing because I’m shit with names anyway. I nod towards their glasses. “Drink?”

Blondie slides their glasses over to me. “Impressive how you handled the bartender. I like a man that isn’t afraid to have an entire bottle to himself.”

I want to tell her that that’s sad and ask who the hell hurt her to have such low expectations of men, but considering I’m the poor asshole with an entire bottle of liquor, I don’t. “Luckily for you, I got it to share.”

I pour her a glass, then her friend, overriding whatever fruity drink they already had. 

“So tell me, what brings you here in the middle of the afternoon?” She asks.

A girl I find attractive but can’t even talk to. “Personal misery,” I answer, before gesturing between the two of them. “And you?”

“Boredom mostly,” she answers honestly, that twist of her lips never fading. “Hoping to find someone interesting to help us get rid of that boredom.”

Us?

I hadn’t been intending on a two for one deal, but why not? I already hate myself anyway.

I take a second to look at the second girl. She’s too busy looking down at her phone to notice my gaze and her friend is too busy talking to care. It’s not that she isn’t attractive. She is, it’s just clear that she doesn’t put as much effort into her appearance as Blondie does. It’s dark in the bar, and even darker in the booths where we’re sitting, but I’m pretty sure her hair is similarly colored to Elide’s.

Damn it, I gotta stop thinking about her.

I take a sip of my drink, which is now a solid ninety percent whiskey, and then back to Blondie, because she’s actually giving me the time of day.

“Oh, my god, it is you!”

My gaze jerks back to Not Elide and her eyes are wide as she stares at me. “You’re Lorcan Salvaterre. You’re the vocalist for the Cadre.” She suppresses a squeal, which I’m extremely thankful for, but I immediately relax. Because it’s clear she’s a fan, which means we’re back in groupie territory, which I am very familiar with.

“You didn’t tell us you were famous,” Blondie says, eyes bright, and Not Elide scoots closer to her. 

“You would’ve found me attractive either way,” I say, and they know full well that I’m saying, You would’ve fucked me either way.

Emptiness.

It’s a life of emptiness.

I welcome it as I down the rest of my glass.

“Maybe so,” Blondie admits and she leans forward so I get just the tiniest bit more of her cleavage in my line of sight. “You know, we’ve heard about you. Care to show us if the rumors are true?”

There it is. The offer, less than five minutes after meeting me. They want me, want to suck my cock and do gods know what else just to say that they’ve done it all with a celebrity.

It’s the thrill of their lives.

Their highest point.

Too bad it’s my lowest.

“Ladies room, five minutes,” I say, and pour myself another glass before I can think better of it.

They’re out of the booth before it’s even full. 

Five minutes is an arbitrary number. I have no idea what time it is and I’m not going to count down the minutes to go in there. Leaning back in the booth, I sip my drink until it’s empty and I refill it again. I swear, I can feel the old bartender’s eyes on me. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had. I doubt he has.

After what may have been two minutes or may have been twenty, I get up from the booth, leaving the bottle behind. The neon sign advertising the location of the restrooms has seen better days, not unlike the entire joint, and the “r” in between “t” and “o” has gone out.

Tipsier than I thought I was if that is capable of making me laugh, I snort and head in the direction of the “Restooms”, knowing the girls will still be there, waiting for me.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes, they always wait.

I push open the door to the ladies and there they are, leaning against the far wall. They’re holding hands. I take a quick look at both stalls, making sure they’re unoccupied, before flipping the lock to the door.

Turning back to the girls, I say, “Wouldn’t want anyone walking in on us, would we?”

I’m halfway across the room before either of them answers. “No. We want you to ourselves.”

Not Elide is the one that speaks. Seems that now that she knows who I am, she’s the more confident of the two. Sorta gives her an edge she didn’t have out there in the bar. The lighting is also, surprisingly enough, better in the bathroom, and now I can see that her hair is dark, but not near as dark as Elide’s.

That’s a pity.

Pausing in front of them, I let my arms hang at my sides. “Then you’d better prove it.”

They waste no time as they approach me, Blondie on one side and Not Elide on the other. One finds my neck with her lips, the other runs her fingers down my arm. I know this is going to be one of those times when I hardly have to do a thing so I close my eyes and relax. Blondie’s mouth goes to my collarbone while Not Elide takes my face into her hands and kisses me, roughly. I feel her tongue ring against my tongue and chuckle. She leans back with wide eyes that I meet with a grin. She kisses me again before I can say a word while Blondie falls to her knees.

I want to say this is the first time I’ve been locked in a dingy bathroom with two women at my beck and call.

It’s not.

Not Elide has her hand fisted in my hair and she moans, a sound that’s half fake and half desperate. It’s not until Blondie’s hand is palming my junk that I come to my senses.

Rowan’s words haunt me, damn him. You’re getting married in six weeks, remember?

Six weeks and I’m going to be someone’s husband. Someone that I’m sure, that I’m hoping, is not locked in the bathroom with strangers they’re about to fuck.

As Blondie tugs on my shorts, I break the kiss with Not Elide.

“Wait, fuck, stop.” Not Elide pauses, mostly because my hands have found hers and pried them from my hair, freeing me from her grip. Blondie either has selective hearing or thinks this is some backwards form of foreplay, because rather than stopping, like I asked her to, she pulls in my shorts again, harder this time.

They come down, and thanks to the second layer lining the shorts, I never wear underwear with them. Which means my cock is now out.

Blondie’s hand fists me, harder than I was expecting, but godsdamnit, just how I like it, and I have to force myself to grab my shorts and pull them back up. Her hand falls away as my dick is safely tucked away inside my shorts.

Shaking my head, I back away. “I can’t do this. It’s— It’s not fair to her.”

Not Elide looks like I just ran over her puppy and Blondie is still on her knees.

I head for the door, but before I reach it one of them asks, “Who is her?”

I unlock the door but pause before pushing it open. “I have no idea.”

With that vague, cryptic as fuck answer, I haul ass out of the bathroom, out of the bar, and out onto the Orynth streets.