#snarfle

[gallavichfanficlibrary]

Recently read Etherized Against The Sky and would love recs similar to that, specifically Ian and/or Mickey having an outside adult to just care for him/them in a non-exploitative way. Thank you!

Hi! We actually got the most asks about this particular fic. It is an amazing story! Please check out this post and this second post for recs similar to Etherized Against The Sky, I think we put together everything we could in those two posts :)

[gilliebee]

BOS @ TOR | November 5, 2011 - Marchy getting the extra head bonk :’)

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

oh chat, we're really in it now

[spodimusarts]

Snarfles the reticulated Python owned by Kevin McCurley from NERD.

Just a fan art I’ve been meaning to make, plus it’s my first true digital painting, I love the way he turned out! Such a Goofy, but happy snake.

[inked-out-trees]

heehoo i'm back with more wip excerpts, this one's from the aforementioned ghost story (i finally got to repurpose that monologue); not proofread, coasting on vibes.

“Would you care for a mint?” James accepted a certs. 

“Now forgive me if this is an overstep of boundaries but am I correct in assuming you were her son? Legitimate or otherwise.”

He nodded briskly. “Yeah, well as far as I know. My father never got a paternity test when I turned up, so it’s entirely possible I’m not her son, or my father’s for that matter as they both apparently got around way more than I ever needed to know, it’s like uh… Schrodinger’s bastard? I both am and am not the son of Eugenia and my father, if he is my father.”

Mrs. Lindauer watched him with the sort of look a kindergarten teacher would watch a student eat an earthworm. “Do you give the same answer when asked about your family’s medical history?”

“I don’t think I’ve been to a doctor since I was seven.” 

I found many things while crawling through my document, trying to find something that fits the vibes. regrettably I couldn't find anything that fit the vibes perfectly but I think this was nearest:

“Did they have four arms?” Annie asks. She’s always been fond of rumours regarding their unworldliness. "Ooh, don't tell me. Too many eyes? Did the lights flicker when they walked in the room?”

“No, no, and yes,” Francis says, “but the last one was because we were in boardroom 4C and they still haven’t fixed the power in there. No, he just looked like a guy. Seemed kind of amused at everything, like he wasn’t used to being with us plebes.”

Annie nods sagely. “That makes sense.”

Trevor isn’t sure if it does, but whatever; it’s a Director, he’s never going to meet one. He scoots forward, dangling his legs over the lip of the bed.

[biropen]

Grieving the loss of todays potential #piastripoints

We started strong but in true McLaren fashion the tractor just couldn’t quite pull through

[betta-butch]

just hangin out :3c might fuck around and snarfle through the detritus to look for little snacks together

[deathclassic]

a LONG list of fic recs

some fics i have enjoyed over the years

tonight belongs to me by @solitarycreaturesthey

the cleaner by @notherenewjersey

first times by @sluttygallavich

span the distance (bridge the border) by @sam-loves-seb

Every Love and Every Pretense by MintSauce

the taming of ian gallagher by @whatthebodygraspsnot

absent of shame by fingersfallingupwards

Re-boyfriending  by @ms-moonlight-inn

it'd be better if you flayed me alive by @crestfallercanyon

kodachrome by Aelia_Gioia

The afterlife by @rayrayor

Melánia by milominderbinder

When You Call Unexpected by @ms-moonlight-inn and @gallavichgeek

Kissed and Unkissed (Phil)Lips by Efflorescent

Right On Time by @depressedstressedlemonzest

Brotherly duty  by crazynadine

Anger Management by @transmurderbug

Misunderstandings by labelma

i like taking pictures (as long as you're in them) by @em-harlsnow

Weed Dreams are made of this by @jrooc and @mybrainismelted

will you still love me when i'm no longer young and beautiful? by @m4ndysk4nkovich

Extraction: Mickey’s Version by @callivich

5 Times Mickey Has Seizures and 1 Time Ian Sees by blackXroseXdying

happier than then by restapesta

Seduceable by labelma

Rewind by @energievie

Liquor Store Robbery by come2gusu

half-grown  by @sam-loves-seb

Ian Gallagher And All Of His Mistakes by toraten

The Morning After by lm19

Needy Bottom by sournotion

Teenage Runaway series by sadwhales

falling for you without a second look by xylodemon

Proud (Outro).  by @twinklyylights

Radio Silence by OfficialStarsandGutters 

Tumblr Archives: Serious by @arrowflier

Look So Good When You're Reading Me  by orphan_account

Employer of the Year; or, The Further Adventures of Mickey Milkovich, Power Bottom by  skepwith

Your Question Has Been Received by @heymacy

Beautiful by undisclosed69

Moonlight Sonata  by AnnaNSmith

Mickey Milkovich vs Kent State Gun Girl  by labelma

gossip never ends by restapesta

Meet the Neighbors by @arrowflier

Uptown Boy by red_special_specialist

a dream of you and me  by markofalover

One Bullet, Two Boys by Eyesthatseenothing

when you get there you'll know  by biblionerd07

please don't say I'm going alone  by biblionerd07

Unexpected by lockmyheart

Etherized Against the Sky  by Snarfle

Queen of Decatur by jaxington

The Fourth Milkovich by Dragon_in_Disguise

people problems  (svetlana x fiona)

The Cat's Meow by my_hopeless_opus (debbie x sandy)

Closeness by beskarsteel (debbie x sandy)

Complicated  by leinthalexandra (debbie x sandy)

skyscrapers by We_Were_Younger (mandy x karen)

sticks and stones by @holymurdock (mandy x karen)

Lipstick by leinthalexandra (mandy x karen)

like lightning  by shamiram (mandy x karen)

[barksbog]

Her name is Salmonella

she already found a home but i still need everyone to look at her because i´m very proud of my daughter.

she has many talents:

glow in the dark

mochi minky beans

is heavy

glittery butt fur

snarfle

[discodeerdiary]

99 percent of puppygirls quit sniffing random piles of powder on the ground right before they find the ketamine. keep snarfling

[jrooc]

✨It's the Wednesday Tag Gaammmme (Oprah voice)✨

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

How did you get into the fandom? 

Scouring the internet for more content after I’d watched the show several times through I came across a fanfic and then somehow found the @gallavichfanficlibrary and Ao3. Eventually, after I’d started writing and had a few stories out, I joined the Tumblr (cause Mandi told me too 🙏😘)

How long have you been here?

1 year and everyday it brings me joy 🤩

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

YouTube to watch edits

what’s your favourite now? 

Tumblr, obvs (or discord but I didn’t include it cause.. reasons?)

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@bawlbrayker 👋

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know?

So many ☺️ respectfully giggling and waving at @gallawitchxx @francesrose3 @callivich @energievie @captainjowl @whatthebodygraspsnot

I just wanted to play tag games with ya and here we are. Consider this your tag lol.

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

It may have been Evolution of Kissing by ProstheticLove

First one that floored me was Etherized Against the Sky by Snarfle

First AU was my all time love ORFNSP by @goodkwuestion

First fan art that blew your mind? 

I discovered @steorie first with art like this one

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

Soulmates or A/B/O or even sports AU’s. (Yupp I wrote one)

What surprised you most about this fandom?

First, how much talent there is. Then how welcoming and lovely everyone is.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

Club kiss.

Ian or Mickey?

Mickey

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

Fiona maybe? (I made this question why is it so hard 😅) cause I’m always living somewhere between: taking care of everything and a hot mess

Lmao never write a tag game while cuddling your cat - so many typos lol. Tagging or just respectfully poking:

@mybrainismelted @deedala @heymacy @michellemisfit @energievie

@mickeysgaymom @creepkinginc @ian-galagher @stocious

@transsexual-dandelions @transmurderbug @transmickey @heymrspatel

@sgtmickeyslaughter @blue-disco-lights @guinguin1984 @rayrayor @too-schoolforcool

@doshiart @gallapiech @roryonic @spookygingerr @astaraels

@lee-ow @sillygoofygoobersstuff @spoonfulstar @ardent-fox @look-i-love-u

@palepinkgoat @wehangout @mmmichyyy @crossmydna @the-rat-wins

@darlingian @ms-moonlight-inn @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @suzy-queued

[austronauts]

not to be insane but he looks so fucking CUTE here i need to go harvest him myself and BAKE HIM INTO A FUCKING MINI HANDPIE IN A FISHER PRICE OVEN TOY AND SNARFLE HIM TF UP WITH A GLASS OF MILK

i need to KNEAD him and throw him up in the air and spin him around like fuckin pizza dough DO U UNDERSTAND like i’m GONNA THROW HIM AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A STRAND OF PASTA DO U SEE

[toskarin]

weren't the sun bears people in suits? human pet gal toskarin?

s.. sun bears are real animals, anon. I have seen them snarfling around

[lalazeewrites]

What are your personal favorite Gallavich fics?

OKAY, BUCKLE IN!

I actually answer this fic and Tumblr like glitched and deleted it and I was crushed about it, but now I'm back. Ready to tackle this again!

First off, I have 90 Gallavich fics bookmarked. So let's start with the fact that I have a lot of fics that I LOVE and I'm going to link you right here to my Gallavich Bookmarks, should you want to look. I didn't add to my list any purely smutty fics and I have A LOT of amazing ones Bookmarked.

That being said, here are my personal standouts. I'm NOT putting these in order of how much I like them, because I would simply die on the spot under that kind of pressure.

BELOW THE READ MORE: 25 FIC RECS & SHORT RAVE REVIEWS

Life, or Something by @palepinkgoat

This fic encapsulates a lot of things that I crave in a fic that is designed specifically for my tastes. Personal journeys that begin rocky and work toward healing. Dark themes that are treated in a very matter-of-fact way instead of rolling in angst. The growth of mental health. You'll probably see those themes a lot in the fics I love. I also have a fascination with all things death, as someone who has almost died many times and who struggles with a chronic illness. This fic is so. . .beautiful? Articulate. FEELING. I love everything about it.

Belladonna by devovitsuasartes

Oh, THIS. Oof. Okay, this is fantasy HOW I WANT IT. So intricate, so unique, so embedded into the world-building that isn't word-dumped on us with exposition, but SHOWN to us. Witches and forced familiars, complicated family dynamics, rough pasts, coming full circle between the beginning and the end. Emotional journeys, coming back from tough experiences, PINING. This is the fantasy for ME.

Is There Somewhere by andchaos

Soulmates! Soulmarks! Mute Ian who is really fucking funny and sweet and Mickey who doesn't think he has a soulmate because he has no 'first words said to me' mark. I love the dance, I love their rapport, I love how warm this fic is. I've read it several times for comfort.

You Can Bite Me by @goodkwuestion

It's easy as breathing to love all of this author's fics, but this is the one for me, and it has nothing to do with the fantasy vampire aspect. This is one of the only fics that has made me cry. I don't cry from fics, almost ever. The write in this goes from hilarious, witty, clever, and sharp, and then swoops you into appreciating the beauty and sanctity of life, traversing the journey of loss and grief, embracing the passage of time, welcoming love into your life, and simply embracing what it means to be human. This fic touched me in ways I'll never be able to express without a five page essay.

Etherized Against The Sky by Snarfle

A canon-divergent story from 1x09 onward. I couldn't put this into words if I tried, because it is EVERYTHING. Everything that I could ever want in a canon compliant type of fic. Holy shit, does this make me ache. It explores so many facets of their growth, mental health, self-acceptance, found family, rebuilding blood family, and learning how to live in the world of Shameless, but this time, thriving. A complete work of art.

You make me feel human by Dragona

Listen. LISTENNN. Are you listening? Anything that is considered a 'dark' AU is going to be my jam. Anything that dips its toe or severed foot into Hannibal or Murder Husbands type worlds are not just up my alley, but they're leading right up to my fucking house and knocking on the door. This is it, folks! This is the one! No one did it like this fic did it! PLUS: A happy ending? Bitch, I'm on the ground.

My Nine Lovers by @annatrow

While we're talking kiss kiss bang bang gun boyfriends, let's just slap this fic right down here, because holy fuck, I have read it at least three times. The pining? The smut? The secrets? SEXY MURDER BOYFRIENDS TURNED HUSBANDS??? Yeah, honey, I'm here in the front row with my little #1 fingie! My Bookmark comment says "This was so fucking clever and reverent and heartening and joyful."

The Mask of Insanity by @annatrow

Yeah yeah, I am trying to pick only one per author, but I simply cannot with this one. It's so fucking gritty and smart and sharp and emotional. Full of depth, character growth, strange life coincidences, bad boys and good guys and where they fall in between together. I'm big on fics that make you fall down, get scraped up real good, then pick you up by the armpits and say, bitch, we're got more to go!

Conflict of Interest by @thisdivorce

Everyone and their mom knew this was coming. It has everything I crave in a fic. Exceptional characterization. Deeply flawed, real humans living through real life events. The struggles of being queer and unsupported, specifically within the trans community. Journeys through mental health and the pitfalls of navigating the world when you don't see it as clearly as others might. Tearing and screaming out of the confines you've built around yourself, even if they're comfortable and safe, but knowing it's no longer right for you. This fic as everything and more and I've read it three times now because it fills my heart.

(And since this author is possibly probably my fav ever in this fandom, check out WIPs Reckoner and Change Like Shifting Shadows because their writing speaks to my pain and love on a bone deep level.)

Burden of Proof by DodgerBear

Okay, I really fucking like crime fics. Whether on the good side, bad side, or grey side, I love crime fics. This one is soooooo good, and I LIVE for the pining, the draw between them, the SPICE. Please! This is so fucking well done! Whip smart and sexy!

(and shout out to WIP by the same author, Quatervois, for which I will wait an eternity to update, I don't care, go read it NOW.)

Wild West Ian and Mickey by 09cityskylights

Always always always, I will be invested in Western AUs. Any fandom, anywhere, any time. I love for Westerns and this author does it so perfectly. I fucking adore this journey and I can't recommend it enough.

Can't Figure You Out by Crimson_Bebop

If I'm going to pick one office AU from the lot (and there's so many good ones, check out this post for more), it's gonna be this. It's nerve-wrecking, hot as hell, an emotional rollercoaster. You're rooting for both of them so badly, but they both require different but equally important things in their lives, and finding that middle ground is MESSY.

Dancing After Death by @squidyyy23

Oh man. Oh shit. I don't know where or hot to start, because this combines two of my fav things, Sons of Anarchy with Shameless. It combines them, yes, but more important, this is completely it's own beast with an incredibly detailed timeline of events. It's hot as all HELL, it's gritty, it's real, it's loving and tender and difficult and highly charged with emotion and struggle. LIVING FOR IT. I have read this three times.

Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me by Mellow_Yellow

Oh hey, we're back at the Lala Loves Murder & Crime Show, and yeah, this one is FULL of it. It's so fucked up. It's so well written. The character growth is fucking A+, the murder reveal is exceptional, the mystery is FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. Guys! It's so fucking GOOD!

Teenage Dirtbag by @celestialmickey

Hah. . .I have read this three times. I'll never have read it enough times. Ian is 17 in 1999 here and I was 12 at the time, so everything this fic speaks to speaks of my entire adolescence and I just. Deeply cherish every moment. I savor every chapter of slow build. I revel in their victories. I sing along to all of their songs that I already know by heart, I wiggle in my seat to the Spotify soundtrack, I live for the vingettes of their happy ending. This fic is so magicl and wias written with such love and care.

you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar

Okay okay okay, listen to me. Yes, we ALL love Intro to Quantum Dating by this author. I fucking adore it. I open it up at random chapters just to read and make myself smile. But THIS FIC??? THIS ONE??? You have got to be kidding me. I cried. I fucking yearned. I hurt, I hurt so bad down to my toes, and I smiled when things went right, and I teared up when it didn't, and I hoped and prayed for a happy ending, and yes I got one that was fulfilling and beautiful and poignant. Did the fact that I am a kidney transplant recipient play into my deep-seeding feelings about this fic? Absolutely. Do I think everyone should read this fic to grasp what exceptional storytelling looks like? BIG TIME.

Solid Skies and Slate-Blue Earth Below by @sentimentalspiders

This is one of the weirdest fucking fics I"ve ever read and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Best alien!Ian! Exceptional, fascinating, vivid writing style! The narrative is articulated in such an ethereal, out-of-the-box way that is perfectly fits a story that is about an alien and a very lost man. It's SOOO COOL.

Brand Spanking New by J_Q

I don't know what to tell you. Micky gets sent to a fuckin' retreat when he gets professionally spanked (by Ian) to fix his horrible behavior. He gets out of there and then he and Ian start a very detailed BDSM relationship. This is SOOO my wheelhouse of JOY, but if it is not yourself, y'know uh. I mean, I still recommend it anyway. It's so wildly delightful and hot as FUCK.

That's a Wrap by @crossmydna

Am I biased because this was written for me as a gift? Shut the fuck up, of course I am. But also, no, because well before Cross took on prompts, they were working on The Menagerie which is in my top five favorite Gallavich fics of all time, and I read it all the time AND YOU SHOULD TOO. Anyway, back to this fic. What can I say, it's EVERYTHING I WANT. Actor AUs! Meet Ugly, the hottest smut imaginable, banter that's sharp and strong, badass Ian & Mickey, everything everything everything.

The Stargazer by crazynadine

Hey yeah, hi, welcome to my Daddy Kink. There's a lot of it. Let me show you around, its got scrappy heart of gold sex worker Mickey, it's got age difference bearded and jaded by life Ian, it's got panties and road side motels, and secrets, jealousy, and hot hot hot smut, like holy shit. But if daddy kink is not your jam, then y'know. . .ahem.

The Question of Normal by blue_newman

Ian is a prison counselor and Mickey is in prison. The way that I LIVE for Ian breaching any of his professional protocols to help Mickey (this goes for so many fics in my bookmarked fics) is unholy, but how about you five me a fucking break okay. I just like it when they break the rules, as they should, because this is Shameless LOL. But seriously, this is so thoughtful and heartening and left me feeling really fucking right in the world after I read it.

Well, I hope this helped! This is only about a fifth of my Bookmarked fics, and I wanted to write about SO MANY MORE. Anyone is always welcome to ask me to rave about fics, I am always here for it lol.

I said this in the begining, but I have bookmaked A LOT of smut fics that I think are exceptional works, so I suggest you filter my Bookmarks by works under 10,000 words and you're gonna find 'em all.

[carpexdiemm05]

Never After (SGE x Reader) - Chapter 3

Also read on Wattpad!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn't sure why six wolves needed to punish Sophie instead of one, but I assumed it was to make a point.

They bound her to a spit, stuffed an apple in her mouth, and paraded her like a banquet pig through the six floors of Malice Hall. Lining the walls, new students pointed and laughed, but laughs turned to frowns when they realized this freak in pink would be one of their bunk mates. The wolves towed whimpering Sophie past Rooms 63, 64, 65, then kicked open Room 66 and flung her in. Sophie skidded until her face smacked into a warted foot.

I hastily slipped inside the room before the wolves could slam the door on my neck.

"I told you we'd get her," said a tall girl with greasy black hair streaked red, black lipstick, a ring in her nose, and a terrifying tattoo of a buckhorned, red-skulled demon around her neck. The girl glared at Sophie, black eyes flinting. "She even smells like an Ever."

"The fairies will retrieve it soon enough," said a voice across the room.

I swung my head to an albino girl with deathly white hair, white skin, and hooded red eyes, feeding stew from a cauldron to three black rats. "Pity. We could slit its throat and hang it as a hall ornament."

"How rude," said a third.

I turned to a smiley brown-haired girl on the bed, round as a hot air balloon, chocolate ice pop in each stumpy fist. "Besides, it's against the rules to kill other students."

"How about we just maim her a bit?" said the albino.

"I think she's refreshing," said the plump one, biting into the ice pop. "Not every villain has to smell and look depressed."

"She's not a villain," the albino and the tattooed girl snapped in unison.

Sophie wriggled from her ropes and stood, scanning the dorm. A moment later, she gasped. "Where's the mirror?"

"Let me guess," the tattooed girl snorted. "It's Bella or Ariel or Anastasia."

"It looks more like a Buttercup or Sugarplum," said the albino.

"Or a Clarabelle or Rose Red or Willow-by-the-Sea."

"Sophie." Sophie stood in a cloud of soot. "My name is Sophie. I'm not a 'villain,' I'm not an 'it,' and yes, I clearly don't belong here, so—"

The albino and the tattooed girl were doubled over laughing. "Sophie!" the second cackled. "It's worse than anyone could have imagined!"

"Anything named Sophie doesn't belong here," the albino wheezed. "It belongs in a cage."

"I belong in the other tower," said Sophie, trying to stay above their cattiness, "which is why I need to see the School Master."

"'I need to see the School Master,'" the albino mimicked. "How about you jump out the window and see if he catches you?"

"You all have no manners," snarfled the round girl, mouth full. "I'm Dot. This is Hester," she said, pointing at the tattooed girl. "And this ray of sunshine," she said, pointing at the albino, "is Anadil."

Anadil spat on the floor.

"Welcome to Room 66," said Dot, and with a swish of her hand swept the ashes off the unclaimed bed.

Sophie winced at moth-eaten sheets with ominous stains. "Appreciate the welcome, but I really should be going," she said, backing against the door. "Might you direct me to the School Master's office?"

"Princes must be so confused when they see you," said Dot. "Most villains don't look like princesses."

"She's not a villain," Anadil and Hester groaned.

"Do I have to make an appointment to see him?" pressed Sophie. "Or do I send him a note or—"

"You could fly, I suppose," Dot said, pulling two chocolate eggs from her pocket. "But the stymphs might eat you."

"Stymphs?" asked Sophie.

"Those birds that dropped us off, love," garbled Dot as she chewed. "You'd have to get past them. And you know how they hate villains."

"For the last time, she's not a villain," I said, folding my arms.

The three witches blinked, as if noticing my presence for the first time.

"Who are you?" Anadil asked hostilely.

"Y/n," I replied. "And there's obviously been a mix-up here. I mean, there were three of us children kidnapped this year. Not two. So if you could just point us in the direction of the School Master's office, it'd be very appreciated."

Hester scowled. "Are you. . .friends with this pink thing?" She nodded at Sophie.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes."

"Are you sure we can't kill the princess?" said Anadil.

I stepped forward. "There will be no killing so long as I'm around."

"Then leave."

"Where in the woods do you come from, loves?" Dot asked, diffusing the argument.

"Who the hell knows," I muttered.

"I don't come from the woods," Sophie said impatiently.

Three girls gaped with identically confused expressions.

"What do you mean you 'don't come from the woods'?" said Hester.

"We come from Gavaldon," Sophie said. She sounded close to tears.

"You three seem to know a lot about this place, so I'd be thankful if you could tell me wher—"

"Is that near the Murmuring Mountains?" asked Dot.

"Only Nevers live in the Murmuring Mountains, you fool," Hester groused.

"Near Rainbow Gale, I bet," said Anadil. "That's where the most annoying Evers come from."

"Sorry, I'm lost already," Sophie frowned. "Evers? Nevers?"

"A sheltered Rapunzel locked-in-a-tower type," Anadil said. "Explains everything."

"Evers are what we call Good-doers, love," Dot said to Sophie. "You know, all their nonsense about finding Happily Ever After."

"So that makes you 'Nevers'?" said Sophie, remembering the lettered columns in the stair room.

"Short for 'Nevermore,'" Hester reveled. "Paradise for Evildoers. We'll have infinite power in Nevermore."

"Control time and space," said Anadil.

"Take new forms," said Hester.

"Splinter our souls."

"Conquer death."

"Only the wickedest villains get in," said Anadil.

"And the best part," said Hester. "No other people. Each villain gets their own private kingdom."

"Eternal solitude," said Anadil.

"Sounds like misery," said Sophie.

"Other people are misery," said Hester.

"Gavaldon . . . is that by Pifflepaff Hills?" Dot said airily.

"Oh, for goodness' sakes, it's not near anything," Sophie moaned. She held up her schedule, "SOPHIE OF WOODS BEYOND" at its top. "Gavaldon's beyond the woods. Surrounded by it on all sides."

I glanced down at my schedule. At the top, however, was only my name. There was no "of woods beyond" attached to the end.

Just Y/n.

Not even a last name.

"Woods Beyond?" Hester was saying.

"Who's your king?" asked Dot.

"We don't have a king," Sophie said.

"Who's your mother?" asked Anadil.

"She's dead," Sophie said.

"And your father?" asked Dot.

"He's a mill worker. These questions are quite personal—"

"And what fairy-tale family is he from?" Anadil asked.

"And now they're just plain odd. No one's family is a fairy tale. He's from a normal family with normal faults. Like every one of your fathers."

"I knew it," Hester said to Anadil.

"Knew what?" said Sophie.

"Readers are the only ones this stupid," Anadil said to Hester.

Sophie's clenched her fists. "I'm sorry, but I'm not the stupid one if I'm the only person here who can read, so why don't you look in the mirror, that is if you could actually find one!"

I ran my fingertips across my lips in thought.

Reader.

Why didn't anyone here seem homesick? Why did they all swim towards the wolves in the moat instead of fleeing for their lives? Why didn't they cry for their mothers or try to escape the snakes at the gate? Why did they all know so much about this school?

"What fairy-tale family is he from?"

My eyes found Hester's nightstand. Next to a vase of dead flowers, a claw-shaped candle, and a stack of books—Outsmarting Orphans, Why Villains Fail, Frequent Witch Mistakes—was a knurled wooden picture frame. Inside was a child's clumsy painting of a grotesque witch in front of a house.

A house made of gingerbread and candy.

"Mother was naive," said Hester, picking up the frame. Her face struggled with the memory. "An oven? Please. Stick them on a grill. Avoids complications." Her jaw hardened. "I'll do better."

My eyes shifted to Anadil. A bracelet made of little boys' bones was clasped on her roommate's wrist.

"Does know her witches, doesn't she," Anadil leered. "Granny would be flattered."

The poster above Dot's bed showed a handsome man in green screaming as an executioner's ax sliced into his head.

WANTED: ROBIN HOOD

Dead or Alive (Preferably Dead) By Order of Sheriff of Nottingham

"Daddy promised to let me have first swing," Dot said.

I looked at my three bunk mates in newfound clarity.

They didn't need to read the fairy tales. They came from them.

They were born to kill.

"A princess and a Reader," Hester said. "The two worst things a human can be."

"Even the Evers don't want her," said Anadil. "Or the fairies would have come by now."

"But they have to come!" Sophie cried. "I'm Good!"

"Well, you're stuck here, dearie," Hester said, plumping Sophie's pillow with a kick. "So if you want to stay alive, best try to fit in."

"No! Listen to me!" Sophie begged. "I'm Good!"

"You keep saying that." In a flash, Hester seized her by the throat and pinned her over the open window. "And yet there's no proof."

"Hey!" In a flash I was across the room, yanking Hester away from Sophie, who fell to the floor with a gasp.

I gripped Hester's shirt and shoved her up against the wall. "Stay away from her."

Hester struggled. "Who do you think you are?"

"I said. . ." I slammed Hester's head against the cinder and she yelped.

My eyes flashed. "Stay. Away," I repeated in a low voice.

Something had changed. Hester's eyes widened and she nodded rapidly.

I released my grip, and she slumped against the wall, gaze still trained on me.

I turned to Sophie, who threw a hand over her mouth.

"What?" I asked.

Anadil and Dot's jaws were dropped. They looked almost. . .terrified.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Your eyes," Sophie whispered. "They're glowing."

A commotion clamored outside the room, and the girls' heads swiveled to the door. It flew open with a crack and four wolves thundered in, grabbed us by the collars, and hurled us into a stampede of black-robed students. Students rammed and elbowed each other; some fell beneath the herd and couldn't get back up.

"Where are we going!" Sophe yelled.

"The School for Good!" Dot said. "For the Welcomin—" An ogreish boy kicked her forward.

As I watched another student take a tumble, I clung to the wall even more.

***

Each school had its own entrance to the Theater of Tales, which was split into two halves. The west doors opened into the side for the Good students, decorated with pink and blue pews, crystal friezes, and glittering bouquets of glass flowers. The east doors opened into the side for Evil students, with warped wooden benches, carvings of murder and torture, and deadly stalactites dangling from the burnt ceiling. As students herded into their halves for the Welcoming, fairies and wolves guarded the silver marble aisle between them.

I followed Sophie, grumbling, as she moved to the aisle seats, trying to get the attention of the Good fairies. I opened my mouth to tell her it was useless, but a hand yanked the both of us under a rotted bench.

Agatha tacked us in a hug.

"Agatha!" I gasped. "You're here! And. . ." I surveyed her outfit. "You're wearing pink."

"I know. It's horrible. Listen, I found the School Master's tower! It's in the moat and there's guards, but if we can just get up there then we can—"

"Hi! Nice to see you! Give me your clothes," said Sophie, staring at Agatha's pink dress.

"Huh?"

"Quick! It will solve everything."

"You can't be serious! Sophie, we can't stay here!"

"Exactly," Sophie smiled. "I need to be in your school and you need to be in mine. Just like we talked about, remember?"

"But your father, my mother, my cat!" Agatha sputtered. "You don't know what they're like here! They'll turn us into snakes or squirrels or shrubbery! Sophie, we have to get back home!"

"Why? What do I have in Gavaldon to go back to?" Sophie said.

Agatha blushed with hurt. "You have . . . um, you have . . ."

"Right. Nothing. Now, my dress, please."

Agatha folded her arms.

"Then I'll take it myself," Sophie scowled. But right as she grabbed Agatha by her flowered sleeve, she stopped cold. I listened, ears piqued, trying to hear what Sophie did.

It was then that Sophie took off like a panther. She slid under warped benches, dodged villains' feet, ducked behind the last pew, and peeked around it.

Agatha and I followed, exasperated. "God," I said. "I don't know what's gotten into yo—"

Sophie covered my mouth, and it was then I heard the sounds. Sounds that made every Good girl bolt upright. Sounds they had waited their whole lives to hear. From the hall, the stomp of boots, the clash of steel—

The west doors flew open to sixty gorgeous boys in swordfight.

Sun-kissed skin peeked through light blue sleeves and stiff collars; tall navy boots matched high-cut waistcoats and knotted slim ties, each embroidered with a single gold initial. As the boys playfully crossed blades, their shirts came untucked from tight beige breeches, revealing slender waists and flashes of muscle. Sweat glistened on glowing faces as they thrust down the aisle, boots cracking on marble, until swiftly the swordfight climaxed, boys pinning boys against pews. In a last chorus of movement, they drew roses from their shirts and with a shout of "Milady!" threw them to the girls who most caught their eye.

In the decayed pews, the villains booed the princes, brandishing banners with "NEVERS RULE!" and "EVERS STINK!" (Except for weasel-faced Hort, who crossed his arms sulkily and mumbled, "Why do they get their own entrance?") With a bow, the princes blew kisses to villains and prepared to take their seats when the west doors suddenly slammed open again—

And one more walked in.

Hair a halo of celestial gold, eyes blue as a cloudless sky, skin the color of hot desert sand, he glistened with a noble sheen, as if his blood ran purer than the rest. The stranger took one look at the frowning, sword-armed boys, pulled his own sword . . . and grinned.

Forty boys came at him at once, but he disarmed each with lightning speed. The swords of his classmates piled up beneath his feet as he flicked them away without inflicting a scratch. Sophie gaped, bewitched. I hoped he'd impale himself. But no such luck, for the boy dismissed each new challenge as quickly as it came, the embroidered T on his blue tie glinting with each dance of his blade. And when the last had been left swordless and dumbstruck, he sheathed his own sword and shrugged, as if to say he meant nothing by it at all. But the boys of Good knew what it meant. The princes now had a king. (Even the villains couldn't find reason to boo.)

Meanwhile, the Good girls had long learned that every true princess finds a prince, so no need to fight each other. But they forgot all this when the golden boy pulled a rose from his shirt. All of them jumped up, waving kerchiefs, jostling like geese at a feeding. The boy smiled and lofted his rose high in the air—

I saw Sophie move too late. I ran after her but Sophie dashed into the aisle, leapt over the pink pews, lunged for the rose—and caught a wolf instead.

It gripped her hair and pulled, dragging her back to Evil. Sophie screamed. "Hey!" I launched myself at the wolf and wrapped my arms around his neck. Then I pulled. Hard.

He wasn't fazed. He reached behind and grabbed me, yanking me around to his front. Sophie was long gone by now.

I writhed as the wolf's enormous hand closed over my throat. My feet shot out, catching him in the stomach, and I was dropped to the floor, coughing.

His claws dug into my upper arm like knives. I screamed, kicking to get away from him, but that only made his claws tear into my skin even more.

Then I bit his other arm. The bitter taste of his blood filled my mouth and he yelled, releasing me.

I breathed heavily and scrambled away from him, but my arm began to itch. I looked down where the wolf had sunk his claws into me.

The wounds were stitching themselves up until the skin was clean and pristine once more.

My lips parted in shock. I swiveled my head to Agatha, who was staring at me with her jaw dropped. Then I was being dragged away again, this time by three wolves.

"Hey!" I wriggled and struggled, but their grip was too strong.

I locked eyes with the blond boy across the room. He was staring at me, baffled.

Then the doors to the theater slammed shut, leaving me to be taken down the hall by the wolves. 

[great-and-small]

Sometimes you have a really really really shitty day but then you come home and your dog snarfles in your ear a bit. Doesn’t fix things but definitely makes it a lil better