#snackrifice you could say

[i-count-words-in-posts]

I would like to give you a gift

do you accept cash or credit?

blood sacrifice, ideally

17

[randomthefox]

Which Sonic characters would you say are the hottest preds?

Tails is always sort of my default when it comes to preds among the Sonic cast, for a lot of reasons. Personal bias for one. Foxy bias. That also means he's a species that is much higher up on the food chain than basically everyone else in the cast aside from Vector. So he always feels very naturally befitting for that role, to me.

But honestly I can imagine effectively every single member of the Sonic cast as either pred or prey, given the scenario. I could even imagine a scenario with Charmy Bee guzzling down the preys lol. They could all eat or be eaten by one another, in my mind. Though I do tend to prefer imagining that it's a different universe or setting depending on who's filling what role, since I'm personally not very inclined to free vore all everybody can eat or be eaten by anybody type settings.

In terms of characters that I think lend to being preds the best in terms of personality, I'd say Eggman is probably the top since he's already got so many canonical quotes which you can easily slap over a vore pic and it would fit that context without needing to change a single word. I mean, they'd have to be fatal vore pics, which I personally do not enjoy, but I mean still come on.

bro is vorny on main, absolutely.

Werehog is also a good fit for it, being the howling stretching beasty boy and all. Just let those hungry urges run loose for a bit, as a treat~

Oh a pretty common scenario I tend to go back to is Knuckles as the guardian swallowing up folks who arrive on Angel Island. Like an alternate version of Sonic 3 where when Sonic andor Tails show up, Knuckles the pent up tribal island stud just seduces and swallows the interloping boy(s) right up, patting his bulging ab toned belly and belching as he sauntering back to the shrine gut sloshing with every step<3

Rouge I think would also be inclined to being pred, maybe swallowing up security guards when she's sneaking into a place. Or gulping folks down for the sake of holding them for ransom. Or just being a general vamp and teasing or taunting folks she's trying to sweet talk with mawshots and stuff like that. Imagine this whole scene but Rouge is licking her lips and patting her growling belly while talking to Tails. She's got the chops for it, I think.

Vector and Big as well feel like natural preds, given their body types. I guess I don't personally tend to think of them in the front of my mind very often, they're not incredibly high on my list of characters that hook my interest. But given their size and species and with the right scenario their personalities can be very inclined for eating folks up too. Vector maybe swallowing up a client who welshes him on a job payment for example. And maybe Big having a dry spell when it comes to fishing so he swallows someone up to keep him fueled for the long hours of sitting by the lake, maybe falling asleep at some point and forgetting they're in there even after he does start catching fish, so they end up spending more than a few days churning in Big's belly along with some fried salmon piling in ontop of them.

Those are the ones that come to the top of my head when trying to think of which ones out of the cast seem to fit the best as natural preds in terms of personality. But like I said I can imagine every member of the cast as a pred lol. Sonic swallowing someone up while out on a morning job. Silver using his telekinesis to lift someone up and dunk them down his throat. Blaze having snackrifices brought to her to be a royal meal while she's doing paperwork at her desk. Ect.

they're all so fuckking hoottt Dx

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

sorry if this has been asked before but i'd love to know your process for creating animatics. not only are they so incredibly fluid and perfect to the music but they're COLORED! absolutely inspiring. i'd love to know what you do for planning and editing, basically how to put an animatic together in general. i use procreate to make art but other than that i'm completely clueless on how to make animatics

ooooh okay i would LOVE to tell you!!!! So first things first I will say that my animatic process is probably not the most like. Efficient way to do it. I'm not an artistic expert and I'm very self-taught so this is just what I've come up with over the years with the resources I had.

This has ended up VERY long so I'm sticking a read more in

All that to say I have two main programs that I use, one to draw (Medibang Paint Pro) and one to put the frames together for my animatics (Davinci Resolve). These days, I have both of these programs on my laptop so I have everything on one device. Before I had my current laptop, I used Medibang Paint on my iPad and iMovie on my laptop, but the overall process is basically the same.

So. I have five main stages of making an animatic once I have a song and a character/narrative in mind.

Stage 0 is arguably the most important stage, which is deciding it's something I for real want to do. Making an animatic is a big commitment, so it has to be something im 100% on board with or I'll get bored before I finish it. So usually when I hear a song and I think "oh I can apply that to x character" I'll have to listen to that song on repeat for at least a few weeks just to iron out the story in my head, decide what moment I'm going to put with each lyric, basically plot out the narrative internally.

This stage is a bit different for every animatic. For some of them, like the Snackrifice as an example, I heard the song for the very first time and went: i know EXACTLY how this is going to go and then I went home and started planning it out immediately. Others, like Aequitas Aug, I had the song as a vague "oh this is Coin vibes" for months before Expansion Era ended and I finally knew I had all the material I would need for a full cohesive narrative. And then a bit longer to really decide "okay so the redactions are going to be at this point, the semicentennial will be at This moment" and so on.

I have a whole playlist full of songs that I COULD make into animatics that I vibe to on a regular basis, basically marinating them until I have enough content and ideas to start actually planning them out into an animatic.

Stage 1 is scripting it out: I write out all the lyrics of the song, count up how many beats correspond to each line, and plan out what I'm going to do with each section. As an example here's a portion of my script for Miguel's first animatic Autoignition. As you can see my script is often pretty loose and jokey at myself, because I already kinda know what I want it to look like by the time I start scripting it, this is just to get it down for pacing and to fill in any gaps.

[Image ID: Screenshot of white writing on a dark background. There are eight lines, alternating between bolded writing to signify planned action, and regular writing to signify the lyrics of the song Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic. Line 1, in bold: Uh oh Zack is fallin into fire and hell and disintegrating ur gonna earn that content warning. Line 2, regular: And you don't have to make a Line 3: Miguel left alone at edge of Solarium :) fire everywhere :) big f Line 4: Sound 'Cause they got what you Line 5: Miguel falls to her knees for a moment, stunned. Line 6: Need. What you need Line 7: Then he runs away Line 8: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh /end ID]

Stage 2 I do my actual draft. I do every frame as a very quick sketch. This stage is where I put all my frames into Divinci Resolve and match it all up to the beats of the song. I work out my timings, I figure out if I need to add/delete frames somewhere. The majority of the fiddly work happens here in terms of lining it all up to the music. All the frames look about as basic as this lmao the idea is Quick and To the point so i get can idea of what I'm working with. Very often I'll have figures in this draft stage where, as an example, I know I'll need to put players from the Flowers or the Dale from a certain point in time, but I haven't decided exactly who yet, so they're just vague humanoid blobs.

[Image ID: A very basic sketch with black lines on a white background, showing two figures facing away from the camera with loose lines showing the ground exploding in the distance. /end ID]

Stage 3 is Lineart, and this stage takes the longest because I'm actually doing the proper drawings for everything. I don't do colouring yet, because this stage takes so Long and I prefer to do my colouring all in one go so I can keep it consistent. it also allows me to catch any errors that I might make in my Lineart because I get to go over it again when I colour. This is where I make my final decisions on who all the extra characters are that show up that don't Really need to be there.

When it comes to deciding Who Gets To Appear in the Animatic, there are a few tiers.

Characters that NEED to be there for plot/emotional reasons (think like Nagomi Mcdaniel appearing in Alaynabella because Layna switched with her for the Shadows)

Characters that I want to put in there for theme reasons (think Luis Acevedo in Hall Stars, I included them as a cameo because they were later incinerated and the whole animatic was about incinerated players)

Characters that I like/my friends like (Esme and Howell making appearances at the start of Aequitas Aug)

Characters that are just easier to draw, depending on how many times I have to draw them and how tired I am at the time (when in doubt, I tend to default to humanoid characters with reasonably simple designs. If I'm like 400 frames in on Aequitas Aug and I have to choose between horse person Winnie Hess and regular human Eizabeth Guerra to help represent the Breath Mints getting got, I'm gonna go with Eizabeth even if Winnie is technically more iconic and recognisable.)

[Image ID: Lineart of a digital drawing showing Miguel James and Zack Sanders as humans, facing away from the camera and looking towards the ground exploding in the distance. Miguel is kneeling on the ground while Zack is standing. /end ID]

And so of course Stage 4 is Colour. I add in the colours, any lighting effects, all the extra fun bits.

My colouring is USUALLY pretty basic, to save time and effort. For colours that I tend to reuse a lot (typically sunbeams uniforms and the main colours for the various beams) I have them saved in my paint app so I can access them easily. For other players I've drawn before I usually have to bring up one of my previous drawings to reference the colours. Backgrounds are the bane of my existence and as thus are usually kept as simple as possible, and lighting is typically something I use sparingly. Basically, I take as many shortcuts as I possibly can to save my sanity.

[Image ID: The above picture but with basic colour. The background is a pale orange. There are some lighting effects on the explosion. /end ID]

And voila! Off to Youtube. Like I said above, I'm sure this isn't the quote unquote 'Best' way to do it. But it works for me, and doing it in these stages give me a fun little progress video to look back on when I'm slogging through the lineart stage.

It's definitely really tedious at times, and keeping up the motivation to do hundreds of frames three times in a row can be really difficult (especially with a full time job) but it's definitely sooooo exciting when I finally finish. I publish all the draft and lineart videos on youtube as well as unlisted videos, and its always fun to look back on them to see the difference between the draft and the final finished product.

Most of all though, it took me AGES to get to the point of animatic making where I am now. My very first animatics for Dimension 20 were SO different to what I do now, and I was very lucky for a while to have a lot of free time to focus on doing it a lot. My VERY first animatic wasn't even set to a song. It was from a Fantasy High clip, and i never got past the draft stage for it.

The other part of animatic making that I had to start taking really seriously was character design credit. For Quite a while, I did not include credits for designs of players that I did not create. It wasn't until Aequitas Aug (which had an OBSCENE number of players) that I realised what a massive oversight that was. Nowadays I have a big spreadsheet that lists every Blaseball player that has ever appeared in my animatics and the creator of the design that I used/riffed off of if I could narrow it down to one or two. For some players its trickier, often because their design was consistent over multiple artists or I couldn't be sure what the origin was, but I do my best to be as accurate as possible. If you're looking to make some blaseball animatics, I totally encourage you to do so, but I would advise getting on top of credits sooner rather than later! It's so much easier to add in new characters and their designers now as I find them rather than trying to backtrack and remember exactly which picture on the wiki I took inspiration from, along with it being a lot more respectful to all the other amazing artists in the fandom.

Overall, animatics are a lot of effort, but they're soooo worth it. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me, I love to talk about my animatics and my process.

[correctto1quotes]

Minsu: I went to the girls's dorms to see if they had any shampoo and I walked in on Bahiyyih, Dayeon, Xiaoting, AND Yuri all burning and sacrificing a freaking animal cracker and praying for WakeOne's downfall.

Jisu: So you could say they're making a Snackrifice?

Minsu: Oh my god.

[waveridden]

all the prime numbers for fic writer ask!

thank you for testing my basic mathematical knowledge. let's go

1: fic you're most proud of

i have several for different reasons lol but i was thinking about this powerful throwback earlier so i'll drop it in here: forward momentum is a rock band au i wrote when i was like 17 based on cw's wildly popular program the 100. it's a little odd in places because. i was like 17. but it was the first long project that i finished and it is something i still feel a lot of fondness for and i am so proud of it because i did it! it was the first project i committed to in that way. happy 7th birthday to that fic

2: what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

writing stuff during the pandemic is very much looking back and going "oh, that was about the pandemic!" and nothing did that so extremely as stand tall, which is a blaseball fic about the snackrifice. i reread it a while ago and i was like. oh huh! a story about people experiencing physical separation who have to connect with one another via storytelling and adjust to the distance and loneliness! wonder what could've inspired that!

putting everything else under a cut bc i just realized how long this is going to be

3: what's a fic you're emotionally attached to?

oh i'm attached to many things i've written lol but i am going to shout out syrinx which is a taz balance merle character study about religion and is one of those things that i have just. always liked! sometimes there are ups and downs and sometimes "liking" things i write means going "yeah that was good" but this is one that i have always fully enjoyed and thought was sweet and i am immeasurably fond of it

5: what's a fic of your own you won't read?

my ofmd fic because it freaks me out looking at how many comments and kudos it has lol. i know this sounds like a humble brag but like 20% of the kudos i have ever gotten is on that fic and it's intensely intimidating

7: how does receiving or not receiving feedback impact you?

wow what a complicated question lol uhhh. the person whose opinion i care about the most is mine, let's start there. i try to write things that i am proud of and happy with. that being said! i like getting comments and kudos! i think it's cool when strangers read things i write and enjoy them, and sometimes it's frustrating when i put in a lot of time on something and it just...... doesn't get a big response. and at the same time i am always grateful for anyone who takes the time. it's one of those things where there are a dozen contradictory and equally true statements that i could say. i wish i could say the numbers don't matter to me, but they do! if i didn't want people to read what i write, i wouldn't post it. (there's plenty of stuff that i don't post!)

11: has a fic you've written ever caused issues/controversy?

there's a story here that i'm not going to tell lol but real ones remember free play (derogatory). my second answer is i wrote a page for the blaseball wiki recently that somehow indirectly resulted in a couple lore jams and major rewrites and issues. i don't really follow how like nobody told me i was involved but i guess i was

13: do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? why?

oh i'm so proud of it! this is a skill i've worked on and like i'm not kidding myself about my odds of getting published but that's not the goal, the goal is writing things for myself and my friends that i like and i am GREAT at that.

17: what is the best interaction/feedback/engagement you've received on a fic?

long comments make me happy! actually the thing that makes me lose it is transformative works, i've received three podfics and a translation and a sequel and some art (and of COURSE jamie who sent this ask sent me a physical bound copy of my d20bb fic destination as well as leaving a comment that delighted me and that's like. one of the all time coolest things.) idk i just think it's neat when my art moves people to make more art

19: if you could write an ideal fic, what would you include?

oh MAN what a question. uhh i'm never good at listing favorite tropes/plot points or things like that but i WILL say something i really struggle with is like. subplots and plot motion and things that feel external to the characters. so my ideal fic would include a strong subplot. (i am DYING to try and write a mystery sometime, i just haven't had a good idea yet.)

[charaznablescanontoyota]

5, 6, 7, 12, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 28 for the blaseball thing!

5. team whose lore you wish you knew more about

every piece of fanfiction i read about the moist talkers absolutely fascinates me even though i feel like i know nothing about their team. they seem cool

6. storyline you keep coming back to again and again (e.g. mike townsend arc, jaylen hotdogfingers’ resurrection, snackrifice, tillman henderson’s return)

i miss the chaos of the first week jaylen was back and i think about waking up from a nap and logging into discord in the immediate aftermath of ruby tuesday all the time

7. favorite game mechanic (e.g. feedback, debt, sun 2, eat the rich)

instability was fun and i miss it

12. favorite team aesthetic

it might be cheating to say the crabs but..................love da crabs

20. stupid character lore concept that lives in your head rent free

tie between “mike townsend pitches bad because he needs glasses but refuses to wear them on the mound” and “tillman hired silvaire roadhouse to fake his death for insurance money but then got killed for real before she could take the shot”

21. really good character lore concept that lives in your head rent free

i had this plot idea for a fic about derrick krueger being a Fan fan like on the website who had voted to open the book and then gotten pulled into the game as jaylen’s replacement and i might never write it but i think about it all the time

also anything about the crabs that involves hyperspecific maryland locations like tosser being kicked out of mica or kennedy loser having a townhouse in charles village that every other crab has a copy of the key to for when they need a couch to crash on or someone to hang out with

22. stupid worldbuilding concept that lives in your head rent free

NULLDLES AND COMPANY. for people who don’t follow the null team twitter account there was a whole thing where stu trololol asked to have a noodles and company date with big game tony (antonio wallace) and those of us behind the account quickly decided that there is a noodles and company in the trench where the null team can sometimes manifest themselves. it brings me so much joy

23. really good worldbuilding concept that lives in your head rent free

the idea that being released means that you go up to the material plane and live a completely normal life and everything that happened to you during your time in blaseball begins to feel like a nightmare you had when you were a kid

26. first major plot event you were around for

peanut fraud happened literally the day i joined the website lol

28.  plot event you’re STILL mad about

the crabs getting one-shotted by the pods and then ascending to comparatively little fanfare in the midst of all the hall star stuff :/

[honeysweetbabyfrisk]

general positivity doesnt work on me, so now what?

i hit a road block while trying to create some self esteem and work through anxiety: general positivity (you know -- the "you can do this" "youre cool" and "youre beautiful" lines) didnt work for me. they felt generic, ingenuine, and self serving. something said by someone who wants to feel good for helping, but doesnt actually care about the results. and when i said them to myself, even when i repeated it every day for hundreds of days, it only sounded desperate, shallow, and pitiful. this is one of a few reasons CBT never worked for me.

see, if you have never heard "youre beautiful" ever in your life, and have only heard criticism on your appearence, theres no self esteem to build back up. you have to make one, but it cant be from scratch because you already have a firm foundation: insults.

but no one wants to live their lives hating themselves, so what do you do instead?

i spent a lot of time looking at different approaches to positivity, and between that and (i wish i was joking) life lessons you can find in shojo manga, i found an answer. maybe not The Answer, maybe this wont work for you either, but its worth a try

- if you cant believe youre beautiful, celebrate your ugliest parts until you love them. you dont have to be beautiful for you to love yourself. say "thank you" when people call your teeth crooked or point out your scars. be unapologetic and act unashamed until you really are. you'll get there. you'll win.

- if that doesnt work either, consider yourself exempt (this is the one i do). okay, so you arent beautiful. fine. but you arent ugly either. look at the functional, practical reasons something is there. i have stretchmarks because i grew so fast my skin pulled tight to hold me together, and then it grew more skin so it didnt make me feel uncomfortable. i have scars because when i got hurt my body healed itself as fast as it could to keep me safe. these arent here to be pretty or ugly, theyre just here because im human.

- maybe you really cant "just do it." maybe this time you cant make it. maybe it was something important to you, but it was too much, you were too tired, or your pain got the better of you that day. maybe "at least you tried" feels hollow and its not enough. i have a secret, just for you.

i forgive you

powerful words, arent they? forgiveness is stronger and lasts longer than trying to brush past it. i forgive you. remember that, repeat it to yourself as often as you need. i forgive you.

this is getting pretty long and mobile is starting to glitch so im gonna stop before tumblr eats it as a sacrifice (a snackrifice?) but if you have any specific things you want help with, feel free to shoot me a message (or send an ask, but remember since im on mobile it may be a bit before i see the ask)

[thetradeway]

Session 31: 6 Feb 2021 EIGHTH. LEVEL. SPELL.

We begin with Gunna giving Ahleqs a pep talk; with mixed results. Kessler assures us she can replace any lost limbs; we are suitably assured.

We all had nightmares during our long rest, but no physical ill-effects. Ahleqs has the orb. Gunna asks how long it would take for the mushrooms to kick in. DM tells him to suck it and see. Gunna puts them back in his bag.

We all hear in our heads a voice that says “Yes… Approach.” Shits us right up.

Ahleqs ignites Simon. Kessler tells Gideon that the demon is going to use him as a toothpick. “Nonsense, I’m far too wide.” Gideon wants to talk first; he goes and knocks on the forcefield.

The same voice tells him that his remaining years grow short - it would be a shame to die here. It will give him great power if he leaves, otherwise he will join the bones of this place forgotten in obscurity forever.

Well shit.

Gunna bangs his shield on the glass: there’s no glory in this, Northman. No-one will ever know what became of you. Leave.

Kessler thinks the demon is scared of us.

Gideon asks the demon what it’s doing here. No answer. He explains about our quest to find Raeph; still no response.

Kessler approaches. The voice says to us, rather than to her - surely you don’t trust this vindictive goblin? She’ll slit your throats in your sleep! (Gunna thinks this demon might be winning him over.) 

Tarragon hears the voice. It asks her what she’s doing here playing the hero when Tansy lies dying. It tells her that if she leaves now she just might get back in time to say goodbye. (Joe, what the fuck, man???!!)

It tells Ahleqs - well it plays on his fears and tells him to run. He wants to make Mr. Pickles proud. “So can we have our friend back and leave? Please?”

It tells Melaina that she could seek her fortune in the world, why is she still with these chumps? Melaina asks about the raping and impregnating thing, and says that we saved her, so she’ll stick around with us thank you.

Gunna has a stab at a rousing speech while Melaina hides. Gideon places a hand to his chest and casts Protection from Evil. Kessler says that won’t save him from her. Ahleqs says that he thinks they should just kiss and get it over with. “There, if we all die, I said it.” 

He twists the orb and the forcefield drops. We find ourselves in an ancient elven throne room. Motes of dust hang in the air. On the dais at the far end is another forcefield - inside is Raeph. His hair is white and his eyes are angry. He is trying to teleport but he can’t. He cannot see us.

Tarragon decides that Popcorn should not be here for this; he can’t do any kind of damage that a demon won’t halve, and he’ll only get hurt. She sends him to hide in the shadows near the door, which he does gratefully.

���If you hunger for nothing then be food for the worthy yourselves.” Turns out we’re a snackrifice; cool.

There’s some audio from roll20, in a guttural language. Do any of us speak Abyssal? No, but Gideon has comprehend languages. He tries, but can’t pick it apart even with the spell.

The air is suspiciously still. Gunna tells Ahleqs to hang back and if we all die then he is to back off and seal the demon back inside with our bodies. Ahleqs’ lip trembles.

Tarragon calls Raeph’s name but he doesn’t seem to respond. She hears a hum from the magic trapping him inside. 22 to hit Gunna. Wait - what???

Gideon can see that the magic is some sort of barrier magic, but he is unfamiliar with it. As we look on in horror, Gunna is lifted into the air in the jaws of the demon, which is a Glabrezu. “Good Golly!”

The Glabrezu uses its Strong Hand to punch Gunna. Then it casts Fly.

(It rolled an 18 and hit for 27 - that’s plus ELEVEN. Holy shitballs.)

Somehow, when the scary music cuts out, it’s worse.

We roll initiative. Tarragon has Earthbind up her sleeve and is very pleased about it.

Until the fucker makes his STR save and now she’s wasted a spell slot. “Sorry Gunna, I can’t keep wasting spell slots on it, you’re on your own.” He gives a thumbs up, from the jaws of the demon. It casts Darkness on Kessler.

Melaina shoots and misses. Ahleqs screams at us to get away from him just in case because fuck only knows what’s going to come out of him in a minute. He casts Eldritch Blast with ToC. He hits twice for ten total damage.

Gideon sheds a tear of pride as ToC has Ahleqs cast Grease, centred on himself.

Tarragon: “Tell me more, tell me more.” The entire party turns on her. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Can Gunna attack while grappled? He uses his bonus action to do Second Wind and get some HP back. He then lets loose and attacks as often as he can.

Gideon: “Cleave! Cleave with all your might!”

24 to hit? Yes. (Someone knocks on Matthew’s door. Christmas carollers?) Can the Glabrezu make a WIS save please. 25? Yeah, that makes it but he takes 12 slashing - with a magic weapon so it’s not halved. Gunna swings again with a 19 which also hits.

19 HITS

Gunna: “Is he carrying anything?” Chorus of “Yes - you”

Gunna forces another STR save, but the thing makes it. It does take 15 damage though. Gunna uses his Action Surge to attack twice more. This is his big guns. After this he’s fucked for the rest of the game. He hits, and forces another WIS save. (The thing is making concentration checks this whole time for the Darkness spell.) It makes the save and takes 13 damage. Last attack: (Please hit) 23. How high up is Gunna? 20 feet. OK, this is going to be a risky one. Gunna forces a STR save. It rolls a 28. Dammit. Takes 13 damage, but doesn’t drop him. 

Gideon. Quick question - can he see through the darkness spell? The demon is above it so he can see it. He will - no, that’s a concentration spell and he’s already got one up. Nuttos. “Confound this magic weave! Wait - *blustering* - Mirror Image!” (Kessler: “Great, now there’s more of him.”)

Kessler. She is still surrounded by magical darkness. Are her infusions magical? Consensus says yes. Doo doo doo - she’s got her lights, so she pulls one out. Because they’re magical they should work - but her lights aren’t a higher level spell than the darkness spell. Well, there goes that plan. Magic Missile! Wait that won’t work either because she can’t see the Glabrezu. She has a crossbow, she could fire at disadvantage… Might hit Gunna though? He says he can take a crossbow bolt. She has a go but misses.

Tarragon casts Faerie Fire (would do Moonbeam, but that’ll get Gunna as well.) It fails its save - Yes!!! Gunna has to makes the save as well and fails it. Both are now surrounded in sparkly green light. Gunna is the sparkliest Northman ever. He is Elton John in Twilight.

The Glabrezu laughs, points at the ground - and its friend appears. FUCK!

It drops Gunna - who clings on, he doesn’t want to be dropped now. They make contested DEX checks. (Gideon goes for a Grease break.) The Glabrezu wins the contest, shaking him off like a cat with a bit of sellotape on its paw, and Gunna is dropped and takes some bludgeoning damage.

(Meemoo is lamp because she was over-grooming due to an allergic reaction, and she’s licking the inside of the cone. She is furious that Matthew is telling us all about it.)

It casts Confusion on Gunna and Kessler. Kessler: “I’m in Darkness, it can’t see me!” Yes it can, it has truesight. Then it can see her flipping it the bird as she fails her save, she tells us. Gunna makes his save. But he is prone though, inside the Darkness spell centred on Kessler. The Glabrezu flies over to all four of Gideon, and can see with his truesight which one is the juicy one. Duncan, OOC: “Fuck off Joe, fuck all the way off!” Joe: *evil laughter*

Gideon protests but is grabbed with the pincers. Oooh wait - he has Protection from Evil! Is that anything? The Glabrezu must be a fiend, right? Yeah, demons count as fiends. In that case! Disadv on that grapple attack! It rolls again with a 12. And Gideon’s AC is:

Eleven.

Cue all of us groaning.

It hasn’t flown with him yet so he’s not far off the ground.

Melaina takes aim at the Faerie Fire’d demon. (Gideon wonders if he can slip out if he casts Grease; Melaina tells him off for not pre-Greasing himself.) She does 21 damage with Sharpshooter and hides again with a nat 20 for a total of 30. Critical Stealth!

Ahleqs makes a DEX save versus his own Grease spell. Wait Gideon needs to make a Concentration check. He needs to roll ten or half the damage he took, which he does with a 13. He still has the other Gideons all around him, all fluffing and fretting. Daddy! No!

Ahleqs uses ToC and Eldritch Blast for ten damage. Everyone within 30 feet all are now vulnerable to Piercing damage. (Would we as characters know this? We players do, but…? DM rules that casters would know.) Ahleqs uses his movement to get further away.

Johnny-come-lately demon makes a grab at Tarragon. Nat 20s for 27 damage. Tarragon rage! She is currently vulnerable to piercing damage but the grab was bludgeoning; phew. It has hold of her and moves with her. It goes over to Ahleqs, having decided it doesn’t like the look of him. It casts Power Word Stun. Can’t save until the end of his turn. Shit. That’s an eighth level spell.

EIGHTH.

LEVEL.

SPELL.

We’re level FIVE!!! *crying*

It punches Tarragon. Fuck!

Gunna, still blinded, picks a random direction. No - he makes a Perception check. He hears Gideon screaming to the southwest, and also hears Tarragon getting socked in the guts to the south east. He goes south east and emerges from the Darkness in front of the demon. “Hey, buddy!”

Tarragon belatedly makes a Concentration check for her Faerie Fire because she got punched, and makes it with a natty 20. Yeah! Gunna attacks, for 15 damage. Nice. Bonus Action Kidney Punch. No, Bonus Action Slam A Potion.

Grease Wizard is up. What can one do when one is grappled by a huge beast? He’ll probably lose a STR check. Does he have Shocking Grasp? Yes! Gideon bites him, sending electrical energy through his teeth. “Bite! For Victory!” 21 hits. 8 damage. Yeah. The thing is resistant to lightning damage, noooo. Bonus Action Scream and Spit Out Bits of Demon.

Kessler rolls a 9; she can act and move normally. She aims at the loudest screaming and hopes to hit the demon. No, the dwarf. No, the demon! She makes a Perception check, if she rolls good then the darkness and the faerie fire will cancel each other out and she can make a straight roll. She is listening to podcasts in her suit and rolls an 8. Well…

Oh shit I’m up. Tarragon casts Thunderwave and it fails its save but its too big to be pushed, so the force of the spell sends her flying out of its grip and across the room. Fucking Excellent. Best shit that’s happened to her all day.

21 to pinch the Grease Wizard. “WHATTTT?” 16 damage, and Gideon doesn’t like that. Make it stop! Oh shit we might lose our wizard. He goes limp in its hands. It throws his little corpse to the ground. Well not corpse. Yet. No throwing would do damage, it bowls him. Like in curling. We get out brooms.

Melaina gets a nat 20 and rolls on our fancy new crit tables - and does TRIPLE DAMAGE. she kills it - yay! - and the other one winks out of existence. How de do dis!

The thing has no pockets - well, it’s got one, Gunna points out - so nowhere to hide an orb. However: with her nat 20, Tarragon knows if she removes the horns she can probably get some money for them from the herbalists. Woo! She sets about sawing them off.

Naysa arrives and whines at the forcefield around Raeph, but he still doesn’t seem to see any of us. Gunna tries to force his arm into the forcefield. (Ed has just been offered another band, woohoo!) It doesn’t work, but he does break his arm. (This is almost exactly how Halbrecht lost his arm, interestingly.) That’s his short sword arm!

Melaina checks the chest. No traps, but it’s locked so she fixes that and rolls on the loot chest macro. “Bazinga! Did it work?” She’s got some stuff, but no ball of funny light. Ahleqs tries twisting the same orb we had before, but turning it the other way. Nothing happens. Tarragon Cure Wounds’s Gunna and fixes his arm.

Ahleqs Investigates the forcefield surrounding Raeph at advantage; rolls *two separate 8s*. what the entire shit. Melaina has a go at the orb. The glow looks the same as the forcefield; with her trap expertise she can see that it was only linked to the door. We need to - wait, the terrible handsome guy not-Molly is back!

Gunna and Kessler move to flank him, and Gunna attacks first asks questions never. The sword passes right through him - he’s an illusion. He says he *was* going to help us but we can now go fuck ourselves.

“No!”

He walks straight through Gunna and out the other side. He addresses Melaina - if he gives us the key will we leave and never tell anyone about this place? “Yes! Deal deal deal gimme gimme!”

He gives her a smaller orb and says once we’ve freed Raeph, we are to leave. Melaina asks is he going to keep doing murders and rapes? That wasn’t his bag, he was just here to help.

We say thank you mister man. “Why are you helping us?” Melaina asks. She only rolls a 6 on Persuasion, but he looks sheepish; what they tried to do to Melaina wasn’t right, he says. 

We twist the orb. (Another demon appears. No.) The magic fades and Raeph slumps to the floor. Tarragon heals him and we get the fruit out of there. Fade to black! Gunna picks up Raeph, who the DM tells us is not as slight as some elves. Gunna makes a STR check to see if he lifts Raeph over his shoulder like a heroic fireman or drops and drags him. Fireman!

Gunna’s new character arc is finding Flat Top to exact his revenge.

We leave the ruins, taking Raeph with us. “Is he conscious?” He will be, DM tells us. We make camp in the woods and set watches; Kessler and Ahleqs go first.

Raeph wakes up at the end of the first watch - when he sees Tarragon, just getting up for second watch, his hair changes back to normal. She fails a Nature check so she has no idea why that happened. She asks how he ended up in all of that; he says he doesn’t really know. Some sort of fey’ri trap. He asks why we are here; she says we came to rescue him. He is touched and impressed. He notices Popcorn; Tarragon says she would love to give him back but he seems to have imprinted. Gunna grunts and turns over in his sleep, muttering “Ask him to dinner…”Tarragon ignores him. 

Raeph offers us to go with him to Eihshara as he is still on his way there; the elves will probably give us a reward for killing a Fey’ri, and they can port us back to Waterdeep as well. Yeah!

In the morning Raeph addresses us and asks the group about Eihshara. Ahleqs thinks porting sounds dangerous. (Gunna asked Raeph during his own watch if he is a vegetarian, and apologises for feeding his dog meat. He is not a vegetarian and enjoys hunting, it turns out. Gunna says they should hang out sometime; apparently he’s jumping in before Tarragon.) 

Usually elves build little villages but this is more of a city. It’s where Melaina’s from. Are her parents there? *Teenage sighing* “�� Yeah…”

Naysa spends her time trotting alongside Gunna hoping for more jerky. He feeds her two lots of rations. By the end she visibly can’t Blink as far.

Kessler is throwing things she doesn’t need out of her pack and over her shoulder; included in the discarded items is a scroll of Grease. Gunna picks it up with the intention of selling it to Gideon before realising he can already cast it. Oh! Gunna Casts Grease!

We approach Eihshara. It’s the largest wood elf settlement we’ve ever seen. It looks grown rather than carved, absolutely beautiful. We’ve heard of some elves who can encourage the growth of trees into whatever shapes they want. Gideon: “Unnatural, that’s what it is.”

Gunna sniffs the air; he can’t smell a single bar in this place. Kessler goes in search of an inn and maybe some comfy beds. Gideon makes a Religion check as a man of the Cloth (he often finds himself touching cloth). He sees mini shrines in the walls to Mielikki and Sylvanus and the Leaf Lord, a member of the elven pantheon. There is also a temple to the elven god of archery, if anyone needs healing. Tarragon goes inside.

The elves have a lot in common with Melaina; they’re less slight, and taller. They wear lots of leather armour, beautifully made, and simple clothes with lots of embroidery. No wonder Melaina likes shiny things. In the middle of the temple is a statue of an elven man with a bow. Tarragon goes to say a little prayer for her sister, having been thinking about her since the demon used Tansy to try and intimidate her. (DM: “awww!”)

Gunna wanted a blacksmith, and he also wants a tavern, but he’s easy on the order that they happen in. We’ll get a discount because we’re with Melaina so it’ll be a 2sp for a meal and a room. Gunna has heard of a drink he wants to try; made of the music of a satyr and the tear of a dryad. Ahleqs has had a *day* so goes over to prop up the bar. Melaina joins him.

Gunna also wants a new set of clothes, as he had to abandon his only other set in the woods after the mushroom incident.

Gunna wants a shield just like his one, but more resistant. It’s mostly wood so he’s hoping an elven blacksmith (?) might be able to help him. They have fine quality elven shields. Mates rates would be about 112gp (for a shield of +1). He barters them down to 100. Tarragon inquires about a quarterstaff of +1 - it would be about 350gp. “Never mind then, thank you!” Melaina buys some arrows.

The barman is probably a half-elf; he says he knows about Gunna’s fancy drink. It’ll cost him a gold piece. Gunna’s in, but he wants to see it first. The barman can show him the bottle; it has kind of a shimmer to it. There is no writing on the label. Gunna hands over his money. (Those of us who rolled high on our insight are fairly sure Gunna is being taken for a ride here.)

Raeph disappears and comes back with an elf woman and an elf man; they introduce themselves as Adrytheth and Nolme - members of the Circle of Elders of Eihshara. Nolme is a druid. They ask about our encounter with the Fey’ri. Gunna pulls out the severed head, explains with his mouth full, and gets back to the business of eating and drinking as fast as possible.

These wood elves are much less squeamish than we would have thought; they smile and look impressed when Gunna shows them the head. We killed this ourselves? “Yeah, you see this missing ear? Well, it was a team effort.”

Impressive. Fey’ri are a plague. What do we want for a reward? Tarragon wants a quarterstaff of plus one please! The others want gold. Gunna wants to know if they can help him find a specific half elf? (He’s looking for Flat Top.)

Why? they ask.

He supported the fey’ri! it’s because of them! Severed heads! They kidnapped our friend! The druid says he’s loath to bring violence on a kinsman. They don’t usually cause harm…? Gunna makes a performance check to describe Flat Top aka. Schlid, and rolls a 15. Sounds like Gaernan, a member of the half elf renegades. They’re just kids with the wrong idea. They have their heads full of nonsense ideas about elven civilisations of old. Fairy stories. They’re misguided, but mostly harmless.

We’re heading back to Waterdeep, yes? Here’s some gold. (Gunna says they can keep the head.) They will transport us home, and give Melaina the rune code for a return trip if we want to. As a mark of their pride and a coming of age gift, Melaina can have either a new suit of armour or a new bow. She goes for the bow. They will have their master craftsman work on one. We can rest here and go to the circle of elders tomorrow and they will transport us back.

We wait until they leave to scrabble through the bag to see how much gold they’ve given us. Gideon checks for dwarves.

They gave us a thousand gold pieces! That’s… wait…

Drinks are free for the rest of the night since we killed a fey’ri. Yeah! What’s a thousand divided by six? Tarragon figures out she can afford that quarterstaff and immediately goes running off to buy it. (She has no chill at all and Ahleqs is here for it.) Melaina follows to make sure she gets the discount. The staff in the shop are talking about us, impressed. How impressed, exactly? Tarragon is already waving 350 gold pieces but Melaina gently lowers her arm for her and offers 275. She makes a Persuasion check with Guidance - it is accepted! (Notes are squirrelly for a bit as I add a quarterstaff of +1 to my inventory on roll20.)

We catch Raeph up on everything. He offers to travel with and help us if we ever need it.

Kessler is looking for druids for some reason? She finds some near some water, and asks about dealing with curses. What manner of curse? She doesn’t want any of us to hear this; where are we?

Still in the tavern, Gunna is letting Tarragon hit him with her new quarterstaff to see how much better it is, which she is doing, gleefully. Over and over. His head looks like a meatball. She’ll cast cure wounds on him, right?

“Nope!” she cries joyfully, hitting him again.

(Kessler is asking about her cursed bloodline; she isn’t actually a goblin. Where does she live? Waterdeep. The druid says they will do some investigating and send her an animal messenger if they find anything.)

Gunna gives her a drink when she returns; she immediately pours it on Gideon and goes to bed. He Greases the stairs as she goes up them. She fails her DEX save, loses her balance and her armour goes straight through the floor. Fortunately the inn is pretty busy so the owners don’t notice.

We go to the elders the next day and Melaina is presented with a longbow of +1. They open a teleportation circle. Raeph has some business to finish here, so he will follow us later. Do we go through?

Kessler tries to throw Gideon through the circle; it ends up looking like an awkward half-embrace almost kiss and its funny as shit. Gideon Shocking Grasps her. She punches him with her thunder gauntlets. All the elves are watching this, aghast.

The elf lady offers Melaina a place with them if she wants to leave these idiots; she thanks her and rolls the catfight into the teleportation circle.

Our table at the Dagger is occupied. Gasp! A young male cleric (or a paladin?) and a hooded figure are sitting at *our* table nursing drinks. Um, excuse you.

We go up to level 6! Yeah!!!!!

[runictrolls]

💬 Jerath's clowny days!

You don't know how long you've been sitting here. It must be all night, because you can't really remember being anywhere else today. You think. But you must have gotten here somehow. Right?

How did you get here? You must have walked from your hive. But, like. How did you GET here?

Like, to this point in your life (that's pretty funny. Wordplay is funny. How long ago did you think that? Didn't you just say it?)?  Yeah, here. You're sitting on a couch in the middle of the woods, staring at a monitor that appears to be plugged into nothing and shows only static. You're pretty sure--pretty damn sure--it's actually playing a recording of static, instead of just displaying ambient white noise. What the hell.

Nearby, an unprotected pit smolders with embers. Similar pieces of furniture in various states of disarray surround this focal point, with trolls slumped and slouched against one another or against the cushions. You become acutely aware of a wet spot on your back. You can only guess as to how long you've been sitting in it.

There are pie tins everywhere. Licked clean.

You'd like to move, but you can't. You know that if you try, you could easily do it--probably. That makes the most sense. But all the same, you can't. Making the effort to move any part of your body seems almost Herculean, or not even--it's just not something Jerath would do. That's a different Jerath. He can get up. This one can't. Not right now. The Jerath that you are. Not right now.Vilqua is up, and she's reading. Another poem. Of hers. You always hated her poetry. She rhymed 'fucking' with 'fucking,' she just did it, you heard it, and you tell her that, only your mouth doesn't move. This Jerath can't move. You remember.

Nice weak endings, you idiot. Nice job rhyming the same word with itself, you fucking idiot, Vilqua. She's reading it off her phone. How are you going to 'make glorious sacrifice / a yummy, rainbow snackrifice' (seriously, Vilqua???) to the Mirthful Messiahs if you can't look up from your fucking phone? She's worse than Asseer. Holy shit is she so bad at this.

You read stories about the unparalleled slam poetry of the Grand Highbloods, how their wicked verses could command obedience. Change the weather. Fuck around with time and shit. The Grand Highbloods, you were told, were the dopest of wit slingers, gifted with a second or even third sight through their wicked elixirs and soporific tinctures. Sopor doesn't make you a better poet. It just makes you sleepy and stupid. There's a bunch of sleepy stupid assholes in the woods sitting on wet furniture and reading bad poetry, putting on airs like they're royalty (all but three. You can see them. They pinned the Worm, with steel and strength and shadow magic. They're your friends) and you're one of them.

It's time for another Jerath. This one can stand up. This one won't be sunken into a mossy, rotten sofa, spitting doggerel verse to passing frogs. This one has a large knife, and this one is sick to death of clowns.