#smooth sharks post

[nuttersincorporated]

Tumblr: A Beginners Guide

Hello and welcome to Tumblr!

If you're new here, this post is a little guide meant to help you understand how things work on Tumblr. I’m going to give you some guidelines and explain a little bit about Tumblr culture. Hopefully, this will help you settle in, avoid unnecessary pitfalls and enjoy your time here. I hope you’ll like it here on our hellsite (affectionate).

1. First and most importantly, please change your userpic and put something on your blog.

If you don’t, other users will think you're a bot and you'll be reported/blocked. It’s nothing personal but we are at war with the bot accounts. Most older users will automatically assume that a blank blog= bot.

You don’t need to do much. If you aren’t comfortable rebloging things or making your own posts yet, just change your userpic and add a short description to your blog.

Here’s an example of a description you can use.

‘Hi! I’m new here. I’m still working out how this place works but I promise I’m not a bot so please don’t block me.’

2. Go to your settings, then to your dashboard settings and change things to how you like them. I suggest-

Make Tumber show you posts in chronologically order, rather than pushing ‘best stuff first’

Pick a colour palate that doesn’t give you a headache

Make Tumblr show timestamps on posts and reblogs. While a post is never too old to reblog, you don’t want to accidentally signal boost something as ‘news’ when it's acutely years out of date and no longer relevant.

Choose not to shorten long posts

3. Go to the top of your dashboard, press on the toggle and arrange things how you like them.

I suggest pinning your ‘Following’ first. It means that when you go to your dashboard, the first thing you’ll see are the blogs that you’ve actively chosen to follow.

Some older users will tell you that the ‘For You’ page is useless and should be ignore. This is because for a long time it was either non-existent or terrible so most older users – myself included – just don’t bother with it.

However, nowadays it’s fine so use it if you want. ‘Following’ should still probably be pinned first though because you know what you like better than the algorithm.

4. Please don’t censor your words here. Tumblr doesn’t shadow ban you for saying random words.

Shadow banning does happen but it’s mostly at random or because you were targeted by trolls. If it happens to you, you’ll need to fight to get unshadow banned.

The point is that you won’t get shadow banned for saying ‘death,’ ‘murder’ or ‘rape.’ Don’t do things like saying ‘graped’ instead of ‘raped.’ If you do, you’re just going to piss people off and make it harder for people to avoid triggers.

5. Don’t spam the tags!

You can ramble in the tags all you want and nobody will mind. However, if you tag an unrelated post with a popular tag, you will be reported for spamming. It’s against the Tumblr terms and conditions, it’s annoying and it’s something the porn bots do.

6. Please, reblog things. It helps posts spread a lot more than liking them does. Think of your blog as a scrap book where you put stuff you like.

If you aren’t comfortable adding to a post, that’s fine. Just reblog it and share it with others.

7. That said, Tumblr posts are collaborative and we like it when you add to them. It doesn’t have to be much. You don’t have to add something every time you reblog a post but it is a part of the fun to do it sometimes.

If it’s an art or fanfic post comments like; ‘good post op,’ ‘I LOVE THIS!’ or even ‘OUCH my heart!!!’ will make an OP’s day.

If it’s another sort of post; you can add your thoughts or join in on committing to the bit. Try matching the energy the post is already giving.

8. The follow and block buttons are your friend. You decide what you see here. If your dashboard doesn’t spark joy, you can always follow someone new and/or follow an interesting tag. If someone is making your time here unpleasant unfollow and/or block them.

9. Tumblr likes to commit to the bit. Sharks are smooth (they are not) and the 1973 Martin Scorsese movie ‘Goncharov’ is the greatest film ever made (it doesn’t exist).

10. A post is never too old to reblog. We like old posts here.

Every now and again, you will see a post that is over ten years old. The reblogs will probably be full of people expressing delight about seeing the original post again or seeing it for the first time.

11. You don’t want to be Tumblr famous.

There are niche blogs that are dedicated to one thing and are well liked e.g. @the-haiku-bot (the one bot we love), @writing-prompt-s and @cantheykillmacbeth. However, they are either side blogs or blogs run by multiple people.

Your main blog should just be somewhere you like to spend your time. There are no benefits to being Tumblr famous on your main blog.

12. Tumblr spreads news with this meme

13. Tumblr loves dates. Whether it’s the Ides of March (it sure would be a shame if certain world leaders got stabbed), Halloween (which we start celebrating in about July) or just a random day of the week e.g. ‘Out of Touch Thursday’ there is always something happening that you can celebrate.

14. The staff always pulls a silly and harmless prank on Apil Fools Day. Last year we got to boop each other.

15. We like a silly poll

Okay, I think that’s the basics covered. You’ll get the hang of everything else as you go along.

I hope you have fun here and that you manage to avoid Apollo’s dodgeball of prophecy (try not to joke about a specific way things could get worse or you might be hit).

Yours faithfully,

A Tumblr Cockroach

[colinrobinsonscardigan]

Hilbert is such an excellent character because he is objectively very intelligent but he would also sit and argue until he was blue in the face that sharks aren’t smooth

[redeemed-wren]

Stan would double down with intense sincerity in saying that sharks are smooth and Ford would get so worked up about it

[cosmic-muses]

Pondering my blahaj rn

[mashmouths]

according to the gospel of marx: "be late to work and lie about it" amen

[respect-the-locals]

🦈 Daily Shark Fact: 🦈

Like all sharks, the Dusky Smooth-hound is an adept predator and feeds mainly on large crustaceans, including lobsters, shrimp, and crabs, although it may also prey on small fish and mollusks. However, unlike other sharks, this one doesn’t have the razor-sharp teeth that sharks are known for, rather, it is equipped with flat, blunt teeth, which it uses to crush and grind its prey.

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

are you sure you're not talking about gengis khan

Genghis Khan was a human

Khan Doorman is a robot

I AM VERY SURE

[miku-and-sharks]

i love shark teeths so much! they are so cool!

1: Oxynotus centrina / 2: Carcharias taurus

3: Galeocerdo cuvier / 4: Carcharodon carcharias

[timelooping-your-favs]

put the smooth shark post in the timeloop

The Smooth Shark post has been timelooped!

[jingle-jangle-spurs]

“Hey smoothskin”

[the-sharkish-wizard]

Pearls are the wizard orbs of the ocean

[sharkgirldick]

Not to be transphobic but do you believe sharks are born smooth or that they become smooth over time due to the oceans currents.

[gay-david-tennant]

my mother's 'sharks are smooth' is insisting that 1 and 0.(9) (0.999... y'know, the number with infinite nines behind the dot) are actually not the same number but sadly she's doing it unironically

[soufre-de-paris]

tumblr moment

[zukkaoru]

[ID: a mock Barbie (2023) poster featuring Dareth from Lego Ninjago. the tagline reads, "This Ken is smoothed :(" /End ID.]

they took his tie in the poster generator. as if ninjago didn't already take enough when they smoothed him

[eclipsedrawsthings]

Does anyone have a link to the “sharks are smooth” post? I just found out my roommate doesn’t know about it and I need to show them