#smileys don't count as words

[slushycoookie]

9:30pm ~ Logan Howlett x Fem! Reader

✩ Word Count: 1.8k

✩ Content: Fluff, you and Logan take a night to relax, bathe together, you wash his hair, etc. You also do face masks and each other nails (more like Logan does yours). Hairdresser! Reader.

✩ A/N: Just wanted to do something sweet and wholesome with him. This man deserves to relax and take a breather. Enjoy!

Masterlist | Commissions

A long sigh escaped Logan's lips when he dragged himself into the apartment. Duffel bag filled with his cut of the mission was immediately dropped on the floor.

To say he was tired was an understatement.

It didn't stop him from searching for you, though. You weren't in the kitchen, but he saw a note on the fridge with a cute smiley face telling him there were leftovers. Logan checked the bedroom, but you weren't there either.

A faint sound of classical music came from the bathroom, along with your light hums. Logan's shoulders automatically relaxed when he knocked on the door.

“Sugar? I'm back.”

When you opened the door, your face lit up when you saw him. “Welcome back!” You went for a hug, but Logan stopped you, seeing your clean clothes compared to his worn suit.

“Wait, I don't wanna get you dirty.”

You suck your teeth and go for it anyway, hugging him tight around his neck. He doesn't get annoyed at how stubborn you are when he hugs you tighter, missing you.

“I was about to take a bath.” You open the door wider so he can see the water for the bath, as well as your beauty kit for extensive self-care. “You wanna join me?”

How could he say no to that?

You helped him get the suit off. At one point, you were fighting with the belt because it was looped around his waist. Logan chuckled at your struggle before coming to your rescue. You put his suit to the side to wash it later, then removed your own clothes, creating an odd pile in the corner.

With low music in the background and an arm wrapped around your waist, the two of you relaxed in the tub, surrounded by bubbles. Your head was on his chest while he was against the wall. The silence between the two of you occupied the space—quiet enough to fall asleep in the bathroom.

“How was the mission?” You ask, voice soft as if you didn’t want to disturb the serene atmosphere.

Logan groans while recalling the mission. He went with Wade and Domino to deal with an arms dealer who obtained vibranium weapons. The mission wasn't difficult until Wade got his leg chopped off. It set the mission back as Logan and Domino had to wait for his leg to grow back. He wanted to rip Wade's other leg off, frustrated that his partner let that happen, but he knew it would keep you further away from him.

“I would've been home earlier if that didn't happen.”

“It's okay.” You kiss his knuckles. Logan still admits to tensing up whenever you're near where his claws come out. Afraid they'd have a mind of their own and hurt you. But he reveals in your warm touch. “I'm glad you're home safe.”

Logan doesn't let go of your hand, returning the favor when he kisses your inner palm, “How was your day?”

You went over your day at work. How it was decent until the middle of the day when a man was rushing you for a haircut. You were okay with a customer being on a deadline, but he was rushing you for things that shouldn't be rushed, like washing and blow-drying his hair. Plus, he complained about the seemingly reasonable price for a haircut.

“Want me to kill him for ya?”

“No, not yet.” You snort a little, “It was just a little annoying.”

Logan holds you closer, “I won't hesitate to do it.” He smiles against your head at your amusement.

“I know.”

After enough lounging, you two start washing up, taking turns washing each other's bodies. Logan takes the washcloth and drags it across yours, getting the hard-to-reach areas like your back. He's determined to wash every inch of your body while you protest, saying you can wash yourself up. He knows you can, but he prefers to do it.

Logan knows your routine by heart anyway. When he does join you in the shower to fool around, he takes in your washing habits. Using a bar of soap to get rid of the dirt and then a body wash. He sees the lather form on your skin, making sure you're squeaky clean.

Once he’s done, you take over, running the cloth against his body. You're straddling him, making sure his face is clean. You move to his shoulders before pausing. Logan sees you lean in, taking a quick sniff of his hair.

“Ugh, even your hair smells like sweat.”

“I know. Don't worry about that-”

“Too late; I'm washing your hair, too.”

Logan sighs. Nothing could get past you.

He holds in a scowl as you start scrubbing his hair, bubbles forming around him.  At least the scent of mahogany was nice, not too overbearing on his nostrils. You kiss his cheek for comfort was also a bonus.

You two take turns drying each other off. Logan takes this opportunity to try and cop a feel under the excuse of making sure you were dry everywhere. You counteract by pinching his bottom cheek, earning a teasing scowl.

“Let’s do face masks.” You suggest as he’s rubbing lotion on your body.

“You talking about that green shit you put on your face?”

“They're not always green, but yeah.”

Logan grunts, focusing on making sure the lotion is rubbed into your skin. He admires how you take in his hands, appreciating when he doesn’t miss a spot on you. Your chest, arms, torso, thighs, legs.

“So?” You push further when it's your turn, running your hands across his hairy arms and chest.

He softly groans at your soft hands, “What do they even do exactly?”

“It rejuvenates your skin, making it glow.”

“I can think of better alternatives.”

Logan leers at you, rubbing the lotion along his legs, and you roll your eyes. “You just got back from a mission.”

“That’s never stopped me before.” You shoot him a look, and he sighs, “Fine. Let's do it.”

He prefers you being naked in the apartment, but he keeps quiet when you throw on panties and one of his shirts. He notices you’re practically matching once he puts on his tank top and boxers, joining you back in the bathroom. He holds completely still when you put the face mask on him, pressing against his skin to make sure it's still. Logan gets a whiff of peaches as you put yours on.

“Smells good.”

“It does.”

Clearly, you don't need help when you put yours on, a pink sheen across your skin.

Logan snorts at how ridiculous he looks when looking back in the mirror. “How long we gotta leave these on?”

“About fifteen minutes.” You hold his hand, observing his nails. “We should cut your nails too.”

He snatches his hand away, “They’re fine.”

“Yeah, right.”

Usually, when Logan comes home from a mission, he relaxes by grabbing a beer, lounging in his pjs, and hanging out with you for the rest of the night. He didn’t think after taking a bath with you, he ended up getting a face mask and his nails trimmed. Yet, you pull out your nail kit, instructing him to hold out his hands.

“You know this will give Wade some more ammunition, right?”

“Only if I paint them.” You freeze momentarily, “Can I paint them-”

“No.”

“I'll call Laura and have her convince you.”

Logan scoffs, seeing through your bluff. “You're not calling her.”

You playfully pout before continuing to file down his nails, “They're not gonna be as pretty.”

“They will be if you're doing them.” He grins at you, holding back a smile as you keep going. Logan watches you, taking in your eyes filled with concentration, brows scrunched. He does his best to not move for you. Although, he wasn’t sure he liked the feeling of you filing his nails.

“You want me to do yours?”

“Do you know how?”

“I don't have a damn clue.” He admits, “But it gives me an excuse to touch you more.”

You bit your lip, holding back at how flustered you were getting at his words. Still waiting for the time to remove the masks, it was your turn when you sat on the bed. Logan tried to hold your hand gently, listening to your instructions on how to do your nails. He asked for your opinion multiple times to ensure your nails were correctly filed down.

Once he got the word of approval, he took it a step further, grabbing your kit and seeing the rows of nail polish colors you had.

“Wait a minute, I can’t do yours, but you wanna do mine?”

“You got a problem with that?”

You tsk and grab the kit from him, searching for a decent color to put on. You end up picking a silver color, reminding you of his claws. Logan admires the color before crouching in front of you. For some reason, he’s a little nervous, thinking back to how calm and collected you are doing other people’s nails. You encourage him by saying to take it slow.

“Why is the brush so fucking small?” He complains when twisting off the top.

“You know our nails are small, right?”

Logan shakes his head and lets out a shaky breath. He starts with a thumb, swiping the brush across it. It wasn’t bad. He only managed to get the sides a little bit. He does it again and feels his heart swell with confidence when your nail looks decent.

“It looks good, baby.”

“Yeah?” He perks up, and you giggle.

“Yeah.”

Logan does the rest of your nails, taking his time to avoid making a mess. He managed to get the sides a few more times, but they looked really good.

To make sure your nails matched, he unleashed his claws. You gaped at how the color was identical. And that makes his heart soar.

“Think I’m good enough to be your assistant now?”

“Hmm, come back to me after you’ve had more practice.” You kiss him for thanks and hold your nails out to dry.

When it was time to remove the masks, Logan did yours first. Pulling yours off wasn’t much of a struggle, although you did flinch a bit as the mask clung to your skin. His eyes went wide, seeing your face glow under the intense bathroom light.

“Damn.”

“See? I told you.”

He pulls his own off in one motion, ignoring the slight pain from some hairs that were removed. He checks himself out in the mirror, clearly seeing a difference in his skin. Logan didn’t want to admit this in front of you, but he wanted to put on more of those masks.

As always, you see right through him, “Ooh, just wait until I tell Laura.”

“As long as you don’t tell Wade.”

[rowdyluv]

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐥𝐡𝟒𝟑

summary: requested by @toasttt11 : “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that makes me want to treat them like they’re royalty, like they do” in which luke yaps out about his girl to jack, luke hasn’t told his girl exactly how much he likes her, jack takes matters into his own hands.

warnings: use of y/n, couple uses of profanity, really it’s just luke being a massive s!mp for his girl so fluff fluff fluff, jack meddling (again)

word count: 2.25k

notes: thank you toast for this prompt request I had a lot of writing this!!! i didn’t think i would finish it so quickly but the tournament i was supposed to ref got cancelled so im stuck in a hotel with nothing to do but read and write… hopefully its good because i already wrote a 6 year in the future pt 2

As Luke slid the key into the lock, a warm, fuzzy feeling filled him up like a cup of his favorite grandma’s homemade hot chocolate after a long day of playing on the outdoor rink as a kid. He had just returned home from his date with a girl he had become absolutely smitten with. Her name was y/n, and she had this alluring way about her that made him feel as if he was walking on the clouds. It was in the way she laughed, how she would talk about her family, it reminded Luke of the way he talked about his family, it was the way she smiled when she talked about her favorite things. To Luke everything about her was perfect.

And now, here he was, back at his shared apartment with his middle older brother, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. Jack, had spotted him as he was about to enter the apartment through the windows and was gingerly waiting to ask him what had him so smiley.

Luke routinely wears this tight lip, apprehensive smile but after being around her or simply just the thought of her was enough to bring out his genuine smile. “Who or what has you so giddy? You look like a child who was just told they were given unlimited access to a toy store for the next year.” Jack questioned. Scampering around their small living room to stay right on his younger brother’s heels. Attempting to insure he didn’t miss Luke’s answer. Luke didn't even need to think about it before he replied, "I’ve been seeing someone...and let’s say, if someone would have asked me what I wanted them to put together in a female, she is it. Wholly everything." He paused for a moment, letting the words sink in for Jack. Luke’s heart was still beating rapidly even after being away from y/n for half an hour now. He was truly down bad.

Jack's eyebrows raised, his mouth agape. Not believing what he just heard quite yet, "Wait, you mean you're in a relationship with someone?" He asked, trying to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. Luke shook his head no, feeling a little self-conscious suddenly. Jack narrowed his eyebrows as if to question him why no, but didn’t just yet. Sometimes dating exclusively just doesn’t happen. "And this girl, she's...she's really special?" He prodded. Luke nodded again only a yes this time, and more confidently. "Yeah, Jack. Y/n is really special. I don't think I've ever met another girl that makes me want to treat her like she's royalty all the time, like she does." He paused, letting the words hang in the air. "I think...I think I might be falling in love with her." The silence that followed was deafening. Jack beginning to think Luke just might be serious.

Jack looked at Luke, attempting to gauge if he was serious or if he was just being his typical sarcastic self. But when he studied Luke’s eyes and noticed the sincerity shining through and the emotions held in each word he spoke that this definitely was not a joke. There was no way this was just another one of Luke's short flops either. He was serious about this girl.

For a short lived moment, Jack felt a pang of jealousy that the youngest was seemingly finding himself in a serious relationship. Only he quickly reminded himself that it wasn't like he was necessarily someone who had truly went out and tried to find himself someone special either. It also wasn't like Luke had ever been the kind to want anything that was deemed as just a good time or an easy lay. However, he also wasn’t one to talk about love, girlfriends, and all that over the top mushy stuff. Those topics were more of Quinn’s realm of interest. Jack had never thought he'd hear any of this from his younger brother. At least he didn’t expect it fresh out of his rookie year when women throw themselves at him.

Luke shifted uncomfortably, moving to sit on the couch next to Jack, emptying out his pockets onto the table, all while being under Jack's intense studying stare. "What?" He asked, not entirely sure how to react to his brother's silence. “So, you want to treat her like royalty?” Jack reiterated Luke’s previous comment. Luke nodded, feeling the heat in his cheeks intensify. Luke dropped his face into his hand for a few moments thinking how he’s going to approach his response before he spoke.

Jack took his chance and grabbed Luke’s phone. He knew his brother all toowell. He knew he would likely never be brave enough to spill out whatever confession he is about word vomit to him out again, let alone to y/n. He quickly shot off a text to her about it being from Jack, and that he was calling her but needed her to listen to the conversation, not talk to him unless he talks to her. Does Jack feel bad for tricking his baby brother and this girl? Oh definitely. But he thinks it will help him, he hopes it will at least. He’s grateful that Luke even mentioned her name.

“Yes I do want to treat her right. I don’t know her past relationships, and I’m not sure that they even matter? If it is her and I, I hope she never thinks of him or them again. I want to give her every reason to forget they ever even existed. I want to make her world be an entirely different place than it is now. Make it different. Better. Because she deserves it. So. Yeah Jack, yes, I want to be the guy who opens the door for her, who treats her like she's the most important person in the room, shit the most important person in this world. I want to make her feel special, you know?" He shrugged, looking up for the first time before meeting his brother's gaze. Thank goodness, Jack had the phone discreetly placed. Luke could continue his rambling which Jack knew by the way his eyes were glassed and his pupils dilated so large, “Go ahead, continue talking about her. You’ve stayed quiet about her for a while apparently, let’s hear it.” Jack wasn’t that interested or invested in Luke’s overtly smitten relationship but he was happy seeing his baby brother so happy.

Luke let out a small laugh, feeling the warmth spread from his chest to his fingertips. "Y/n is amazing, Jack. She's funny, and so damn smart, I am talking mom smart. I have never met anyone else as smart as mom until her, and...and the best part, get this she had no idea who I was before I introduced myself. I was just Luke to her, I wasn’t Luke Hughes, New Jersey Devil. I was just Luke again. I didn’t have to overcome some preconceived idea she already had of me. I only had to worry about the one she would form of me when we first met. She knows now that I play for the Devils, I wanted to be open about it but it was so nice to meet with out having to fight for showing someone that I am more than hockey. So for her, although it has only been a few true dates and a couple times seeing each other I want to show her that to me, she's as important as a princess." Luke paused, there was a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was imagining the moments of treating her, loving her. "She hates being paid for, but I want to give her everything she desires, needs, I don’t want to do it because I’m fortunate enough to be able to. I want to because she never puts herself first. If she’ll be with me, one day she’ll be the first in my universe.” Luke turned his to look at his older brother, hoping that he was getting through to him. He sure was. Jack was nothing short of wonderstruck.

"She's a lucky girl, you know that? To have someone like you who genuinely cares for her, who sees beyond the superficial layers and goes deep, who wants to make her feel so special." Luke nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. "No. You’re wrong. I am the lucky one. I just hope she knows how I feel. I don't want to mess this up." Jack reached over and pulled Luke into him by the shoulder, a normal gesture of affection from the older brother. "Just be you, little bro. That's all you can do, seems it already worked for you. Right? Mr. Just Luke. Question is though, have you even began to tell her any of this?” Jack asked him possibly the most important question of the entire conversation.

Luke paused for a moment, his expression turning down from the previous glowing high. "Not yet. Us Hughes boys do have a track record of doing or saying dumb shit too early. I don't want to put any pressure on her to reciprocate the same feelings. I just want her to know that she makes me happy, that she's special to me. But I want her to feel it, see it in my actions, without having to say it." He sighed, resting his head back against the couch. "But I know I should tell her, right?”

Jack flashed him a smile, retracting his his arm from over his shoulders and dropping it over to pat Luke's knee. "Yeah, you should. But you've got this, little bro. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you're being genuine. She'll see it. And if you're still worried about it, well, I'll always be here to help you. Like now.” Jack revealed that he had stolen Luke’s phone off the coffee table when he had dropped his head earlier in the conversation. Y/n listened silently hearing his verbose words he shared over their time together. Her heart palpitated a few times over things he had said specifically about her. No one had ever talked about her the way Luke did. It made her feel ways she was unsure how to put into words just yet.

A few moments of shared unutterable silence spread across the three of them when Jack had announced that y/n was on the phone and she inevitably had heard Luke’s emotional admiration for her, y/n’s voice finally broke through the speaker of the phone.

"Luke, I'm so glad you told him that. Or well both of us that.. It's just... well, you know... I am just me, a normal person. There’s no need to overplay it silly boy." Her voice was soft, almost shy like it was the night Luke and her me. Probably because Jack was listening, but there was still the hint of that playfulness that Luke had started to love. "I can't even tell you how much it means to me that you see past all of my quirky interests and...” She paused for just a split second “Can I come off speaker phone? Uhm.. I really just want Luke to hear this.” Jack handed Luke his phone with a smug I told you so look plastered on his face. “Hey, it’s just you and I now.” Luke told her, even getting up off couch to allow space between him and his nosey brother. Luke had a smile so big spread across his face. Jack couldn’t help but smile too. His baby brother was growing up on him. Y/n continued, “and most of all I like that you're just Luke for me, and that you felt comfortable enough to still tell me so quickly about your life when you could’ve kept me in the dark for however long you wanted to. You may be this hockey star, but for me you’re just Luke. I mean, I know you're amazing at hockey and all, but that doesn’t define who you are in life. You are so much more. You're funny and sweet and thoughtful, and I just... I just can't help but feel lucky that I get to spend time with you. And I hope you know that." She paused, her voice catching a little, and Luke could swear he could hear her sniffling. "So, um, yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I want you to know that I feel the same way.” Luke’s face kept flushing deeper shades of red it was nearly burgundy by the time y/n was finished talking. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence without stammering entirely over his words. He pulled his phone away from his ear and opened their text thread.

“Can I come to your place? I think we should finish talking in person?”

Luke pressed send and heard her cute giggle through the phone speaker. “Yes. I’ll see you soon.” The two shared their goodbyes before hanging up the phone. “Jack. You’re dead when I get back, but thank you.” Luke said to his brother scurrying around the living room for his shirt he discarded earlier and his sneakers.

Luke grabs his keys and wallet from the bowl in the table by the door. Murmuring a goodbye to Jack and essentially leaps out the door. He has a very little talking he wants to complete and a lot of affection to start giving. Y/N is anticipating his arrival because first thing she plans on doing is nabbing a kiss from the sweetest boy on this planet. Both of them riddled with anticipation to see each other. If they turn out not to be meant for each other, then there is no way soulmates exist. Luke and y/n are two halves apart that become one when close to one another.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Baby Fever (Hyunjin) ‗ ❍

Pairings : Hyunjin x f reader

Genre/warnings : Just fluff! Mentions of pregnancies and giving birth (no graphic/explicit)

Summary : One of your best friends just had a baby, so you and your longtime boyfriend Hyunjin go see the new family, ending the day with unexpected plans.

Word count : 3.3 k

A/n : Damn this turned out long. I truly can't help it apologies (lol). Anyways this is something that I would've wrote regardless I think, but the inspiration definitely came from the recent video of Hyune, Felix and Innie with the baby. They got baby fever and so did I, what can I say :')

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Part two and Three are out!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

As soon as you got the call from your best friend's husband, you were overjoyed. The couple had been married for some years by now and really wished to start a family. They encountered some issues along the way, but finally their baby boy was here!

After waiting a day for her to rest a bit, you managed to make arrangements for you and Hyunjin to go see them and the baby and make your congratulations in person. You were both so happy and excited for your friends, knowing for how long they've been wanting to have children.

Around five pm you got dressed, got into the car and headed for the hospital.

"Did you text him already?" your boyfriend asked, placing his free hand on your thigh an softly stroking the clothed skin. You smiled, looking up from your phone and then at him.

"Yes, right now. He told me the floor and room number." you replied, placing your own hand on his, intertwining your fingers. "I'm so happy for them, Hyune. They're gonna be such good parents, don't you think?" a hint of emotion in your voice.

He gazed at you for a second then went back to look at the road ahead, an endearing smile on his face.

"Yes they will. That child really got lucky, he's gonna be so loved." you couldn't help but smile wider and squeeze his hand slightly at his words.

After that, the ride remained in a comfortable silence, the radio softly playing in the background. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm but not overwhelmingly so. Just perfect.

After about fifteen minutes you reached the hospital and Hyunjin took his hand off you to put them both back on the steering wheel to park. You got out of the car and started walking towards the entrance.

You felt his hand search for yours, so you intertwined your fingers and gave him a small smile that he reciprocated. You entered the building and headed for the elevators, reaching the maternity ward in a few minutes.

"This place is a maze, gosh" you commented quietly and he hummed in agreement. Just at that moment you looked around and found the room's number.

"There it is!" you said excitedly, dragging Hyunjin's hand slightly. He chuckled at your smiley face and stood beside you as you knocked gently on the door. A couple of seconds later the door opened, revealing an older woman that you didn't recognize.

You were a bit taken aback but she quickly smiled politely and moved to the side to let you two enter the room.

"Good afternoon, ma'am" Hyunjin bowed his head respectfully and you did the same, offering a polite smile. Before you could even ask, the lady introduced herself as your friend's husband mother and let you inside, closing the door again behind you.

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am, congratulations" you said smiling. She nodded with a happy expression as if to accept the greeting, and then extended her arm towards the other end of the room where you saw your friend laying in bed, a glass of water in her hands.

She was looking over to the side with a smile, towards what you recognized to be her mother and her own husband, whom was gently cradling a small bundle in his arms.

"Your friends are here" the lady next to you announced, reclaiming their attention. Everyone looked in your direction, saying hi to you and Hyunjin and inviting you to come closer. You did, firstly greeting your friend's mother quickly and then bending down to give the new mom a hug.

"Congratulations, I'm so proud of you" you said softly, seeing her eyes a little glassy when you retreated from the hug.

"Thank you, honey. And stop with that face, don't make me cry now!" she exclaimed, pointing at you jokingly. You didn't quite understand which face exactly you were making, but quickly realized that you must've been a little moved too from the little sniffle that you let out. Hyunjin titled his head slightly to see your face at her words.

"Sorry!" you laughed it off casually and circled the bed, getting closer to the new dad whom just smiled as if to invite you to get closer. At the same time, you faintly heard Hyunjin greeting and congratulating your friend too.

"Can I hold him?" you asked quietly, almost timidly. The man nodded with a faint chuckle at your uncertainty and responded "Of course, come here auntie" you smiled and prepared yourself to welcome the baby in your arms as gently as possible.

As soon as he was in your arms you looked down; He was sleeping peacefully, only fussing and moving a little every now and then. The conversations were still going on in the background, but you were completely concentrated on the little guy in your arms.

Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, which made you look up to see Hyunjin standing behind you, towering over you both. He had a small smile and was also looking down at the baby. You didn't even notice your friend's husband moving on the other side of the room to talk with his mother.

"He has cute chubby cheeks." he commented, a hint of humor in his voice but still endeared. You let out a faint laugh, trying to not move too much. That must've woken him up though, because his little eyelids fluttered revealing his cute eyes. You both smiled at the child.

"Oh, hello there. Did you sleep well, mh?" you cooed, lulling him gently. He blinked a few times, looking curiously at the two of you that clearly weren't his mom and dad. Hyunjin raised his and and slowly extended his fingertip to touch the baby's hand.

"Hi, little one. How are you- ...oh!" he gasped softly when he wrapped his little hand around his pointer finger. You chuckled and awed at the same time, looking up at your boyfriend's face that had a cute shocked expression on his face.

"You're already friends with uncle Hyune!" you joked, smiling down at your new nephew. Hyunjin moved the finger gently up and down to make him play a bit.

"Of course we are! See, he's also smiling at her auntie y/n" he chuckled lovingly when the baby did actually smile at you. It was a shy one at first but seeing you both so excited must've convinced him to allow you a bigger one, his eyes turning into crescents.

"He's so cute!" you whined overwhelmed by the sweetness of the moment. "You want to hold him?" he looked at you, a little uncertain.

"I mean, uh..can I?" his gaze searching for one of the parents. At that point you started to feel your cheeks heat up a bit. You forgot that other people were even in the room!

"Sure, go ahead Y/n." your best friend responded with a knowing smile on her face. Still a little embarrassed for forgetting yourself, you gently passed the bundle in Hyunjin's arms. He fixed his position and put him against his chest. He was glad to be wearing a comfortable hoodie in that moment. You didn't say anything for a while, just exchanging silent looks with your boyfriend. The energy between you felt quite intense, but comfortable at the same time.

"See, you guys are already pros at this." you both turned your attention towards the voice. It was your best friend's, which currently had a pretty amused expression on her face. She sipped some juice from her straw and raised an eyebrow at you specifically. You took the hint and shrugged it off with a "Don't be silly, we've been here for five minutes and he was sleeping." you replied, choosing to keep it on the humorous side.

Hyunjin on the other hand was still happily and comfortably cradling the baby, whom seemed to have fallen back asleep in the meantime. You could tell that he started to feel an extra pair of eyes watching him so he decided that it was time to give the kid back to his own parents.

He carefully walked to the opposite end of the bed and with and awkward smile placed the baby back into his father's arms, exchanging a polite nod. He then stepped back again and joined your side, circling your waist with one hand.

"You are a very beautiful couple" one of the two older women commented, with the other jumping in quickly with "How long have you been together?" and "Are you married yet?".

You were a bit shocked at the sudden questions that the two women were throwing at you like dart to a target. You and Hyunjin exchanged a look, both unsure on how to answer. But gladly your friend's husband intervened in your place.

"Mom, stop being nosy. They've only been together for two years, they have plenty of time to think about these things, right?" you both nodded awkwardly.

"All right, all right. The grandmothers have been here all day, I think this our opportunity to say our goodbyes." one said, kissing her daughter on the head and then going towards the father and child to also plant a kiss on his cheek and the little one's head softly.

"Yes I agree, your father has already been waiting for me to get home for an hour. We'll come back tomorrow, my darling." the other lady got on her tippy toes to kiss her son and grandson on the cheek, and then quickly turning to bend down and hug the mom.

"It was a pleasure to meet you both." they got closer, jackets and handbags in hand ready to go. You and Hyunjin bowed your heads again politely. "For us too, ma'ams" your boyfriend replied, before you added a "Have a safe trip home, and good evening".

After that the two older ladies waved goodbye one more time and exited the room, closing the door behind them. You turned to your friend, slightly more comfortable now that you could talk more freely.

"How are you doing? How's the pain?" you reached the side of the bed, sitting opposite to her. She huffed and took another sip of water before replying "Well I mean, my vagina is in shambles right about now, if we want to get into the specifics" everyone laughed except Hyunjin that offered a tight lipped smile, being a little taken aback by your friend's bluntness.

"I am on good stuff now so I'm feeling pretty decently, God help me when the medication wear out though." she kept going. You laughed a bit and then looked up at her husband who was still lulling their son.

"It was worth it though, wasn't it?" you replied, more as a rethorical question than anything. She sighed deeply and reached out to hold the little baby's hand gently.

"Of course it was. He was worth everything." she said, love in her eyes and voice. She exchanged a look with her husband, whom was clearly silently agreeing. You decided to switch your own gaze to Hyunjin, leaving them their private moment.

But what you found was maybe even more intense: your boyfriend whom was now leaning against the wall opposite to you with his arms crossed, head slightly tilted to the side, and an intense expression on his face. You could never mistake the love in Hyunjin's eyes.

You felt your eyes getting teary again so you decided to stand back up and move around a bit, trying to shift the energy in the room.

"In any case, one thing is for sure, this baby boy will be his auntie's best friend. Isn't that right, sweetcheeks?" you smiled at the child that actually did smile back, and even let out a small chuckle.

"Oh wow! I fear that you may be right!" your friend joked, sending funny expressions towards her own baby. "But I don't want auntie y/n to steal you away!" she kept going, making you laugh carelessly, until she added another phrase that made you freeze.

"Hyune, when are you going to give her one of her own?" all the eyes were pointed at him. Your mouth slightly agape, not sure how to respond, but surprisingly his answer was quick and left everyone speechless for a moment.

"Whenever she wants." he replied nonchalant. After a few seconds he detached himself from the wall and calmly walked over the rest of them, caressing the baby's head one more time and then nodding in acknowledgment to both the mom and the dad. "Thank you for allowing us to meet your beautiful son, again, congrats".

He then walked over to you with a small smile,"I have to make a call now so I'll get going to the car. Y/n, you can come when you're ready." he placed a kiss on your mouth, caressed your cheek swiftly and then exited the room. A couple of moments of silence followed, everyone was speechless.

"Damn that was..." the husband began, "Hot." your friend finished the sentence. You picked up your jacket and got ready to say your goodbyes.

"Uh, I think I should go now." you said a little awkwardly, but all you got in return were amused smiles.

"Yes sure y/n, thank you for coming." the man said, leaning forward a bit to peck your cheek. You nodded in acknowledgement at him and waved a bit to the small baby. "Bye little one, let's meet soon" you cooed as he looked up at you with big eyes.

"Thank you for letting us come, and again congrats." you reached down to give your friend a quick hug.

"Yeah yeah of course. Now go to your man, he's waiting for you." then she made the phone sign mouthing at you to call her later. You rolled your eyes and said bye one more time before exiting the room and back to the path for the exit of the hospital.

Your mind was full of questions. You and Hyunjin have been together for about two years now, almost three, and yes you've had those casual questions that one usually asks in the first stages of dating. The ones that go "So are you searching for a serious commitment or do you just want to hook up for a couple of months and that's it?"

Those kind of selective, honest questions. In your case, you had both been clear from the beginning that you were searching for something important, that if evolved in the right direction may end up with some more stable future plans. But you never explicitly talked about getting married nor having a family together.

If you were to be honest, you wouldn't think about it twice. If he proposed to you tonight you would say yes, immediately. If he asked you to have a baby with him, you would immediately say yes. That's the level of love, affection and trust that you had in your relationship, you knew it and he did too. But everything always went on so...smoothly that you didn't even had to bring it up. But maybe tonight was the night.

Those were the thoughts that ran through your mind as you approached the car. Hyunjin was still outside, leaned on it and peacefully scrolling through his phone. His face illuminated by the artificial light in contrast to the reddish, pinkish and orange shades that were in the sky. The sun was setting.

As soon as he noticed your arrival he put the phone in his jeans' backpocket and offered you a sweet smile and a gentle kiss on the lips. You melted into it for a couple of seconds, when he retreated.

"Shall we go?" he asked, making you nod. Always the gentlemen, he opened the car door for you and closed it once you were inside. Then he circled the car and got into his own driver's seat. In a couple of minutes he got out of the parking lot and then started driving.

You were in a comfortable silence, as you often were, but you could feel something lingering in the air, almost as if you were both waiting for the other to speak first. In the end you decided to at least start the conversation with something random, just to break the silence.

"Can I turn on the aircon?" his head turned quickly for a second towards you, then he extended his hand himself turning on the fresh air.

"Are you feeling hot?" he asked. His hand moved to rest on your thigh. It was a habit of his when you two were in the car. You were glad that he did that, lifting a bit of pressure from the situation. Or maybe it was you? Did you read too much into what he said?

"Y/n?" his voice reclaimed your attention making you realize that you forgot to respond to him.

"Uh, sorry honey. Yes, just a little." he side eyed you, squeezing your leg just slightly.

"Is something wrong?" his tone was confused but still gentle. You shook your head, taking the hand that was on your thigh and stroking it a little to reassure him.

"No no...I was just lost in thought." you answered, waiting a couple of seconds to continue, "I was very glad to see her doing so well, And the baby, too. So cute, isn't he?" He nodded, smiling softly while keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yeah. I expected some crying though" he laughed softly and you joined him.

"Well, you were very good. He even smiled at you! You're already friends." you joked, still keeping your tone lighthearted. His smile was a bit more serious though. His gaze landed on you for a few seconds.

"You also did very well." he said with sincerity, "We'll do very well." you head snapped in his direction when he said that. He noticed for sure but chose to play it off. You didn't realize that you were already home.

"What do you mean?" you blurted out. He cleared his throat, a blush starting to creep on his cheeks. He maneuvered the car and parked in front of the building. He waited until the car was off and in place to talk. Then he finally turned his body to you,

"I just mean...you know-" he seemed to struggle a bit with his words but you waited patiently. Deep inside you, you already knew where this conversation was going but the amount of emotions that came with it weren't easy to handle.

"I mean that we would probably do a good job in a situation like this. That is of course if you'll want to be with me to experience it." he finally said, a little quickly maybe, but each and every word sank in perfectly in your mind.

"Yes" the response was immediate, "Of course I want to be with you. Of course I would love to have a family with you. I love you so much, Hyunjin. Like I've never loved anyone, ever" you were getting a little choked up, but he just smiled brightly and then leaned in to kiss you softly. Both of his hands going up to cup your cheeks.

"So, if I supposedly asked you to marry me right now..." his eyes, so sweet and hopeful, looking into yours. You smiled, laughing both in happiness and at the absolute absurdity of the situation.

"Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" you both laughed and kissed again. His eyes were also getting shiny with emotion.

"I'm going to ask you again properly, ring and everything, I promise." he said, making you chuckle. "I just think that the moment was right." you nodded in agreement, also cupping his cheek.

"I know, I love you" Hyunjin kissed you one more time, lingering for a couple more seconds, then rested his forehead against yours.

"I love you too, so much."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[byeuijoo]

am i in love? 𐀔 boynextdoor

genre : fluff ⋆ warnings : very, very cheesy ⋆ word count : 594

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⭒ park sungho

when he realized he loved you as more than just a friend, sungho tried to play it cool. which is funny because, in reality, you soon realized that something had changed : he was trying more to flirt with you and get your attention, while selling his merits by making you understand that he was better than the others. he'd show you a bit more of his muscles, show you his soccer skills.. and even though he tried to be discreet about his feelings, he failed miserably when you asked him directly if he had a crush on you.

⭒ lee riwoo

when he realizes he's fallen in love with you, sanghyeok tends to be more distant with you, but simply out of sheer shyness. but he'll still do his best to get your attention in subtle ways : he delivers flowers at your house with a little card and a hand-written poem, he tries to send you signals on social networks, hoping that miraculously you'll understand that he's talking to you.. he's a discreet admirer whom you've noticed and whom you like to panic by getting a little too close to him, just to see his cheeks redden because of your smile.

⭒ myung jaehyun

he was already clingy, but when he realizes he's developed feelings for you, oh boi, jaehyun is even more clingy. nevertheless, there are some changes that you can easily notice : the tips of his ears get redder when you flirt with him, he's always trying to hold your hand in his, even when you're doing nothing but sitting close to each other, he always tries to get your attention and gets sulky when you talk to other boys.. he's so down for you, he can't help reminding you that he exists all the time.

⭒ han taesan

to have spent so much time by your side, getting to know you and finding out more about you, dongmin realized that his heart was beating faster than normal when his eyes met your smile. he'll become more shy, without giving you radio silence. but let's just say that he laughs more easily at your jokes, that he observes you smiling like an idiot more often, and most of all, he'll share more of his favorite music with you. (he's probably trying to convey his feelings through the lyrics, but you're too blind to see it.)

⭒ kim leehan

to say that donghyun has had a crush on you since first sight would not be a lie — of course, his feelings built up gradually, but you were already running through his mind every day since you met. he's quite calm, and has no trouble keeping his feelings to himself, but he tends to look you in the eye in a different way now. more warmly, more tenderly, with a hint of shyness in his eyes. and he has to admit that your smile makes his heart skip a beat.

⭒ kim woonhak

woonhak is totally vocal about the fact that he loves you. he don't care about other people opinions, he just wants to make sure you know he likes you. so every day, he brings you a carton of his favorite chocolate milk, leaving a note on it, reminding you that he likes you — again. or he'll probably just show up when you least expect it, standing in front of you with the most dazzling smile, and you have to admit that hearing him say those words in person makes you all shy and smiley. even if you need time to make a decision, woonhak remains patient and does everything to keep your full attention on him.

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reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated !

taglist ౨ৎ @wtfhyuck @florainnie @dazzlingligth @yuma-is-mine @lilriswife4life @leehanascent @wantmatthew

[promise-you-doie]

Best Friend Ever | S. Eunseok

Eunseok x (f) Reader | Fake dating to lovers

Word count: 20k

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive

Genre: Fluff, Suggestive

playlist

A college student rejecting attention is taken aback when a famous athlete asks them out. Confused and suspicious, they confront their past experiences and insecurities as they navigate a newfound curiosity about the athlete's intentions. The story explores personal growth, unexpected connections, and the courage to leave one's comfort zone.

The college classroom buzzed with the low murmur of students chatting and the occasional squeak of chairs being pulled out. Sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. In the middle of it all sat You, Your eyes drifting lazily around the room as you waited for class to end, your mind already elsewhere, disinterested in the present. 

A sigh, heavy with restlessness, escapes your lips as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand. Your other hand is used to tap the head of your pen against your laptop, a rhythmic echo of your impatience. You try to divert your eyes from reading the time, but you can't help but glance at it here and there, each glance a testament to your mounting anticipation. 

You startle when a small note lands on your desk, seemingly out of nowhere. Intrigued, you open it, ignoring the sensation of someone's gaze on the back of your head. 

The note simply reads "Hey," followed by a smiley face, but you know exactly who it's from. 

You whip your head around to face your best friend three rows behind you. Sohee's wearing a wide grin on his face when he waves at you. But you only glare in return, a mix of annoyance and amusement in your eyes, before turning back around to face your boredom. Once again just waiting for- 

"That's all for today. Class is dismissed." Your professor's voice echoes through the room, and you can almost feel the collective sigh of relief. It's all you need to slam your laptop shut and jump out of your seat, joining the rush of students eager to leave. 

Sohee is already standing at the door waiting for you, mainly because he saved a lot of time by not having to pack up. You always thought he only attended lectures to distract you, but he would always argue differently. 

As soon as you meet him by the door, he throws his arm around you and pulls you along with him, guiding you out of the classroom before the rest of the students come trampling over you. 

"I'm starving," Sohee mumbles, his voice barely audible over the bustling noise of the hallway, a cacophony of footsteps, chatter, and the occasional laughter. He winces when you push him away from you. 

"People already think we're dating," you say, your eyes scanning the passing students, each of them engrossed in their own world.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"That's because it is. I don't like people getting the wrong idea," you say, your voice tinged with a hint of unease. 

"I know what it is?" Sohee taunts, his finger jabbing the air. "You're afraid you'll fall for me if I stand too close." 

You roll your eyes, trying to dismiss the thought. "I can guarantee you that's not the case." Sohee hums in disagreement and continues walking ahead of you until you have to follow up with him. 

This was the nature of your relationship. Sohee often liked to hint that maybe you were into him as more than just friends, and you'd be there to shoot it down every time. 

It was annoying sometimes, but Sohee was like a brother to you. You expected him to be annoying. 

"What should we eat? Burgers? Pasta? Pizza?" Your best friend begins to list off. He waved his finger around in the air as if he were actually flipping through the options. 

"We should go for-" "Y/n." A somewhat familiar voice stops you mid-sentence. 

You didn't have to turn around to know that Eunseok was calling for you. You were only confused as to why. After all, you and Eunseok existed in starkly different worlds. 

He was the star of the school. D-1 athlete, attending on a full scholarship. It's impossible to live in the same city as him and not know who he was. The same didn't apply to you.

No one knew who you were. Not because you were super shy and avoided attention, but because you just preferred to hang out with your two friends, Sohee and Ningning, and binge on card games and pizza on Friday nights, a quiet and content life that you cherished. 

So why would Song Eunseok, a well-known college basketball player, be calling out for you?

"Hey," He says when he finally meets up with you, his voice a mix of nervousness and determination.  

"Hello?" You say, confused. Sohee, obviously just as puzzled as you are, bunches his eyebrows together and sticks his lips out into a subtle pout. 

"Will you go on a date with me?" Eunseok's unexpected question hangs in the air.

Things were just getting weirder and weirder. Him picking you out in a crowd of people was odd enough, but now he was asking you out on a date. 

There's only one logical explanation for this. 

He was pranking you. You had your fair share of brutal jokes, especially among ruthless high school boys who always made it clear that no one would ever seriously be into you. 

You thought things like that only happened in grade school, but old habits do die hard. 

You snark. "No, thank you." The words come out harsher than you intended.. You attempt to walk away, assuming he'll accept the rejection and leave you alone. You should've known better. 

"Please," he pleads, halting you in your tracks. You pivot and stride back toward him.

"I'm not falling for any of your tricks." 

"One date." He holds each of his hands up in the air. "No tricks, I promise." The look on his face tells you that he's being genuine. Yet, you still look to your best friend for an answer. 

Except he only shrugs. You don't know what you were expecting from him anyway. He was never helpful before, and he won't be beneficial now. 

"When?" You ask, turning back to Eunseok. 

"Are you busy right now?" He shoots. 

"Umm..." 

Eunseok pulls out the chair so you can sit down first. You accept his offer and place your bag on the floor beside you. You notice how empty the lunchroom is. 

"If you wanna get into my pants, you're gonna have to do a lot better than this." You comment, your voice echoing in the empty school cafeteria. 

"I'm not trying to get in your pants." Eunseok's voice cuts through the silence, and his glare makes you feel small and insignificant. You shift in your seat at the sudden discomfort. 

"Well then... What do you want?" You hesitated, trying to read his true intentions. 

"I need you to be my girlfriend," he replied casually as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

 "You need me to?" Leaning in closer, you were intrigued, eager to understand his unconventional request.

"My family is starting to think I'm gay." He admits, and it makes you jump back. Who would've thought that star athlete Song Eunseok was battling with his sexuality? 

"I'm not," he says with a knowing look as if he could hear every thought racing through your mind.

 "Huh?" You blink in astonishment, your eyes widening, and shift in your chair, the leather creaking beneath you as you settle back in.

"Look, I just need you to meet my family here and there. Nothing serious."  

"Are you asking me to fake a relationship with you?"

"Yes, exactly." He nods with a severe expression, showing no sign of amusement. It was as if he had done this before.

"I'm not interested," you declare firmly, rising from your seat and gathering your belongings. 

Eunseok's voice quivers with desperation as he says, "I'll pay you," attempting to entice you to stay.

You express your disdain by poking your tongue through your cheek. The sound of your bag dropping to the floor fills the room as you turn to face him. "Money doesn't sway me. You can't just dangle it over my head and expect me to jump when you tell me to," you assert, pressing your palms onto the table.

To your surprise, Eunseok smirks. "You're a smart, independent woman," he says, and you nod. 

"I am." 

"I admire that about you." He stands up so that now you have to look up at him. "Which is why I chose you of all people."

"That's flattering. How much are you paying."

"Wait, you're dating him?" Sohee exclaims, yanking his head out of your empty fridge.

You nod, "Yeah." Your lips pressed together. It wasn't easy to lie to your best friend, but you knew you had to. He had a terrible habit of just talking, talking to any and everyone about any and everything. One time, in fifth grade, you told him about a crush you had on some guy in your class. You don't remember how word got around to the entire school, but you remember that the tracks led right back to your loose-lipped best friend. The potential consequences of this secret being revealed were too significant to risk. 

"So he asked, and you just said 'yes'? No questions asked?" Sohee asks, his voice filled with disbelief. 

"Pretty much." You shrug. 

Sohee ponders, his body plopping down on the couch in front of you. You could always tell when he was thinking because his bottom lip would poke out, and he scratched the back of his head. It was rather cute, but you'd never admit that aloud. "This doesn't make any sense." He finally mutters through a pout, his brows furrowing in confusion. 

"What's not making sense?" You ask calmly, crossing your arms and leaning back against the sofa. 

"Did he cast a spell on you or something?" He sits up. "You hate ball players." 

"I do." You nod. "but he's different." You don't have to convince yourself you knew Eunseok very differently from the other sports players you were previously acquainted with. For starters, none of them would ever consider you to be their girlfriend, real or not. 

"How would you know that after just one date?" Sohee almost shouts. 

"Look, will you just trust me? I know what I'm doing." You said, your voice filled with a determination that Sohee had rarely heard before. He takes a deep breath and throws his head back against your small orange sofa. All the thinking was draining him. 

"Do you trust me?" 

"I guess I have no choice." Your best friend reassures you. Tiredly, rubbing his hands against his face. 

"Good," you exclaimed with a smile, jumping up from your seat to stand in front of him with your hand held out. "Now, let's go get some food. I know you're hungry."

"You're not gonna start ditching me to hang out with your new boyfriend, right?" Sohee sits across from you in the diner that you frequented too often. Usually, you'd visit with Ningning, but she was pretty busy these days. 

"He'll never get in between us." 

"Promise?" He asks, peering up through his eyelashes. 

You never made promises unless you knew for a fact you could keep them, which is why you wrapped your pinky finger around your best friends without a shadow of hesitation. You were certain you would never break this promise.

"It's so strange now that you have a boyfriend." Sohee breaths just as your phone begins to vibrate.

Eunseok: Hey, I need you.

You: First off, that sounds weird. And secondly, I can't. I'm busy

Eunseok: You need to be busy with me.

You: why are you so weird?

"I'm gonna ask for refills," Sohee announces, his voice cutting through the buzz of conversation in the air and causing you to pull your eyes away, momentarily captivated. "Alright," you reply with a smile, and as Sohee walks off, you feel the familiar buzz of your phone vibrating in your pocket, drawing your attention once again.

Eunseok: My family wants to meet you.

You: Hard pass; I'm hanging out with my best friend. Maybe next time :)

Eunseok: $100

You: I can't just leave him.

Eunseok: $250.

You: Deal.

Eunseok: Perfect, I'll meet you at your place.

"Are you leaving?" Sohee asks, his disappointment palpable in his voice."Sorry, Hee. I'll make it up to you, I promise." You rush, reaching into your wallet to leave a twenty-dollar bill on the table. While Sohee plops down in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. 

"What are you wearing?" Eunseok asks, leaning against his sleek silver 2021 Jeep Wrangler. 

"I tried to be normal," you frown, looking down at your chosen outfit.

"Normal looks weird on you," he advises. "Go change."

"But your parents-" "Will like you, no matter what. Just be yourself," he cuts you off and grabs your shoulder to turn you back towards your apartment complex.

“And be fast.” He says last. 

You ask, "How is this?" while standing in front of him, extending your arms so that he can take in your entire outfit. "Much better," he nods in approval and courteously opens the car door for you to get in. His car is immaculately clean and impressively modern. Nothing like you’d see any other college student drive, athlete or not. Maybe Eunseok was an exception because he wasn’t just any athlete but one of the best. 

You can’t say you cared enough to know. You were more worried about other things. 

“You don’t have any exes I need to know about, right?” You ask, “You know… anyone who still has unresolved feelings and isn’t really good at talking things out.” 

“No one is going to show up at your door,” Eunseok reassures, his eyes focused on the road ahead, offering you a sense of security. 

“And do you have STDs or anything?” 

‘Why is that important?” He breaks his concentration to look at you.

“You’re right.” You nod, twirling your fingers and looking around until you see something outside of the window that catches your attention. 

“Any other questions?” He asks through his smirk, one that you were already beginning to hate. 

“Why me?” Eunseok opens his mouth to begin to speak, but you stop him before he can, “And don’t try that fake feminist bullshit on me. I know how you men are.” You add. 

To which he lets out a small laugh, “You were the first person to come to mind because I knew I’d never fall for you, so I don’t have to worry about things getting complicated.” 

It sounded harsh, but you were used to it. No guys ever looked in your direction. The ones that did only wanted one thing, and it wasn’t a cool, loving, caring girlfriend. The problem wasn’t that you were ugly. You were just too different. The way you talked, the things you liked, the way you dressed. You were far too strange for anyone to love you. Well, except for Sohee, of course, but that was only because he was a little strange himself. 

“Likewise.” You hum and continue gazing out of the window. 

When Eunseok reaches the driveway of his family home, he parks and turns almost his whole body around to face you. “Okay, first, I need your phone,” he demands with his hand out. 

You ask, “What do you need my phone for?” Yet you still hold your phone in the palm of his hand and patiently wait for him to reveal his plan. 

“Here you go.” He passes your phone back with his contact on display. 

“My everything?” You read aloud, your eyebrows instinctively furrowing. You thought that was the worst of it, but when your phone closes, you catch a glimpse of his face on your lock screen. “No offense, but I don’t wanna see your face every time I open my phone.” 

“You can change it back later.” He says unamused. 

“Okay but who’s gonna believe that we're so in love after two days?” You ask, folding your arms. 

“That reminds me, if they ask, we've been dating for three months.” 

“Don’t you think they’ll find it strange that we’ve been dating for three months, and you haven’t mentioned having a girlfriend?” You question. 

“Will you just trust me on this?” He asks, reminding you of when you asked Sohee the same question. You give him a half nod and breathe, “You’re the one paying me, so I guess I have to.” 

Eunseok’s little brother greets him as soon as he gets out of his truck. Wrapping his small arms around Eunseok’s legs. “Hey, critter, where’s mom?”

The little boy you assume is around six years old, seeing as you could hear his lisp when he says, “She’s in the kitchen talking to dad. I don’t think they know you’re here yet.” And suddenly, the kid turns to you. His smile, no longer evident, was replaced with a look of concern. You mirror his expression as the boy asks, “Who’s this?”

“This is my girlfriend.” Eunseok introduces you, moving to rest his arm around your waist. Your initial instinct is to push him off of you and slap him, but you do your best to try and muster up a smile instead. The only problem is that you don’t know how to fake a smile, and you think you might’ve scared the boy while trying to.

“You couldn’t just say hi to my little brother?” Eunseok scolds you the second the small boy disappears into the house. 

“Kids make me nervous.” You defend yourself as you pull his arm off of you. “This is gonna be an extra ten bucks, by the way.” You add, referring to his hand placements. 

“Maybe I should’ve gone with someone else.” 

“It’s not too late!” Your suggestion falls on deaf ears when he grabs your hand and guides you into his family home. Which you didn’t realize was so big until you got inside. Everything looked so expensive. “Woah, I didn’t know you were-”

“You’re here early. I haven’t even started prepping yet.” Eunseok's mother unintentionally cuts you off to welcome him into a hug. “And I’m assuming this is your girlfriend.” She adds, looking at you. 

“Yeah, this is Y/n,” Eunseok speaks for you. 

“Aren’t you just the prettiest thing.” You were never good with compliments, mainly because you weren’t used to getting them. So, while you should’ve smiled and replied with a humble “thank you.” You say, “I know.” Instead. 

Eunseok's head swiftly turns in your direction, and his mom's smile drops. "I mean, Eunseok tells me that all the time. It's become a habit of his." Nice save, you think to yourself, noticing how Eunseok's shoulders relax. 

"You're a very lucky girl. You know there's no one like my son." 

"You're right; never in my life have I met anyone like Eunseok." You grin, knowing that you don't mean it the same way she does. 

"I'd say I'm the lucky one. Y/n's top of her class and she just started her internship for a space program. Plus, she's funny and gorgeous, and she supports me. Not to mention, I've also never met anyone like her." Eunseok wraps his arm around you to pull you closer to him. 

Strangely enough, you didn't feel the need to rip his arm off and punch him in the face like you wanted to the last time. Instead, you're more impressed that he even knew about your internship and thought you were funny. Although you were sure, he was just saying that to feed that facade you two had going on. 

"I would just say we make a good match." You add. 

As the older woman beams and compliments the both of you on how good you look together, you exhale in relief. But when Eunseok's father strides into the room, his gaze sweeping over you from head to toe, you realize his mom was just a warm-up act.

"You into fashion?" The older man's voice is so deep it echoes through your eardrums. Your knees buckled, and if it weren't for the hand that Eunseok kept firm around your waist, you would've run out of the door screaming. 

"Uh, um, yeah. Well, no, actually. I mean, it's… cool… sometimes."  You stumble over your words. Your heart races the more he looks at you; you feel like he knows everything. He knows you're lying to him; he knows you're accepting payment from his son to keep up this act, and he probably knows about that pen you stole from Sohee last week. 

“I like it, it’s different.” His father says, referring to your outfit. “Good choice, you better treat her right.” He turns to the tall, younger male beside you. 

“I intend to,” Eunseok responds. 

“Why don’t you give her a tour of the house? I’ll call you down when dinner is ready.” His dad suggests and leaves you and Eunseok alone for a moment. 

Rather than allowing Eunseok to guide you, you grab his wrist and pull him up the stairs to the first room you find, which, luckily for you, happens to be his room. You rush to lock the door and stomp back towards him. Your voice still shaky from the interaction with his father, you say, “I don’t wanna do this anymore.” 

“What you have to.” Eunseok pleads. 

“No, tell them I died in a tragic accident and that you can’t ever move on from me. That'll solve both of our problems.” You argue. 

“It’s not that bad.” He says incredulously, holding his arms over his chest. 

“It's not bad. It’s horrible.” 

“My parents like you already, I can tell.” Eunseok pleads, attempting to convince you. 

“That’s worse, you idiot.” You catch yourself from yelling too loud. “I’d rather they hate me so they won’t wanna see me again.” 

Both of you take a break from arguing to respond to his mom when she asks. “How are you guys doing up there.” 

“We’re fine.” You say in unison as you stare at him with the look of death. 

“I can see why it’s so hard for you to get a girlfriend.” You insult. “After today, we’re done.”

“What? Are you breaking up with me?”

“I am.” You assure him as you walk away. Opening the door to find his brother on the opposite side. You pause for a moment, unsure of what to say or do. He blinks at you and you awkwardly coo, “Hey, little boy.”

“Are you really dating my brother?” The kid inquires, staring up at you with a puzzled expression.

“Umm, yeah.” You wanna roll your eyes. You couldn’t believe you were still going with this bit after arguing that you were done.

“That makes me happy because you’re really pretty. Do you wanna see my room?”

“Sure, why not.” You think aloud.

“Yay! Come on, it's this way.” The child cheers, tugging on your wrist to lead you to his room. 

If possible, your body entered a whole other dimension. The model solar system scattered around the ceiling was the first thing that caught your attention. The life-sized astronaut standing in the corner of the room made your heart leap out of your chest. Hands down this was the coolest room you had ever seen in your life. 

“What the fu-“ You stammer, catching yourself before you can finish your sentence. 

“Don’t worry.” The boy sings, “I won’t tell anyone.” 

Your joy came to a harsh halt, when Mr Song announced that dinner was ready. The small boy remained by your side while you glared at his older brother. You roll your eyes when Eunseok pulls a chair out for you and gestures for you to take a seat. 

You accept the seat reluctantly, but refuse to thank him. The room is quiet, exactly how you prefer to keep it. 

"How long have you been dating Eunseok?" His father abruptly interjects, shattering the fragile silence you had painstakingly maintained. 

"Um." You gulp, your voice betraying the effort to conceal your discomfort, "Like three months… an- and a half?" 

"Three months?" Mr Song repeats, turning to Eunseok. For a small moment all of the attention is off of you, which allows you to release the breath you've been holding for over five minutes. "How come we're just now finding out about her?" 

The question makes you tap Eunseok's leg because you already warned him about this. "Just trust me." He said, but now he's stuttering and tripping over his words. "I- well, she-" 

"It's my fault." You interrupt, "I wanted to make sure we were compatible before I just sprung myself on his family." 

"Let me just say we are absolutely delighted to finally meet you. You are such a charming young lady," his mom gushes. "Did you know you're the first girl he's ever introduced to us?" 

“Really?” You ask, unsurprised. "You know, it's actually really funny that you say that because sometimes I find myself questioning if he's-" and as you're about to finish the sentence, a sharp pain shoots through your abdomen. To his parents, he was just being affectionate, innocently wrapping his arm around you to demonstrate his love for your personal space. None of them would've guessed what was honestly going on.

"What were you saying, honey?" Mrs. Song smiles, anticipating ‌ hearing the rest of your thoughts. 

"Sometimes I wonder if he’s even real." You force a grin, your words laced with a hint of bitterness that you hope goes unnoticed.

“It was lovely having you.” Mrs. Song beams happily, standing by the doorway of their family home. 

You reply, “It was nice being here.” While subtly removing Eunseok's arm from around your waist, or at least trying to. But his hold just got tighter with each attempt you made to push him off.

“I don’t want you to go.” The small boy pouts in front of you. 

“Don’t worry, she’ll be back,” Eunseok responds to the boy for you.

“Promise?” The little boy looks up at you with glossy eyes and one of the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen in your entire life. How could you say no to such a sweet face?

“I promise.” You reassure looking everywhere but the boy in front of you. 

“I can’t wait to see you again.” His mother claps. “Drive safe.” She cheers as Eunseok guides you to his car. You wait until the front door is shut, and no one can hear you before you push him away from you and hold your hand up as if you’re about to slap him.

“I should kill you.”  You growl. 

"At least let me drive you home first.” He suggests holding his truck door open for you. You wanna slap him, choke him, kick him in his knees, and make him beg for mercy. But you roll your eyes instead and take your spot in his passenger seat. 

“Your family is kinda cool, even though your dad scares the shit out of me.” You mutter, staring out the window at the passing cars on the road. 

“You know you’re welcome anytime.” 

“I think it’s best we keep this professional. I don’t want you to ease up on payments because you think we’re friends.” 

“That’s fair.” Eunseok nods. 

“You and I could never be friends. We’re too different.” You add, resting your head against the back of your seat. 

“I’m starving.” Sohee whines, throwing his head against the back of your couch. 

You laugh, “you always are.” Squishing his cheeks together. 

“This isn’t funny Y/n. I could die if I don’t eat something in the next 2 seconds.” 

“You’re not going to die. I ordered pizza 20 minutes ago; it should be here any minute.” As if on cue, there’s a knock at your door, and before you can say or do anything, Sohee is shooting up to retrieve it. 

“Oh, it’s you…” Sohee squints at the tall ball player in front of him as soon as he opens the door.

“Who is it?” You ask, jumping up from your couch to stand next to Sohee. “Oh… Eunseok. What- umm. What are you doing here?” 

“My mom saw how much you liked the food yesterday, so she asked me to bring you some leftovers.’ Euseok pushes the bag full of containers in your direction. 

“Did she really? Are the green beans in here too?” You ask, snatching the bag from his hand. 

“Yeah, I think she packed everything.” Eunseok scratches the back of his neck.

“I feel like I just abducted and woke up on Venus.” You squeal, rushing towards your table to dig through the bag.

“Huh?” 

“She’s thankful,” Sohee explains for you. 

“Well, tell your mom I said thank you. Bye, love you.” You rush, pushing him out of the way and slamming the door in his face. 

When you turn back on your heels you’re surprised to see Sohee staring at you with an equally surprised expression on his face. “Are you guys saying that already?” Sohee asks 

“Well, we’re moving kinda Fast because… You know… We just never know when we’re gonna … die.” You laugh awkwardly.

“You know you’re really unpredictable,” Sohee continues to stare.

“What do you mean?” You plop down at your table, half waiting for his explanation but mostly interested in the food in front of you.

“You guys have nothing in common. He’s well known and attractive, but you never cared about that kind of stuff.” Your best friend watches as you unpack the leftovers your “boyfriend” just bought you. ‘You say you love him, but can you name just one thing you like about him?” 

If you were in a serious relationship you might’ve cared about what it was that Sohee had to say, but nothing about this was real. So you couldn’t care. You couldn’t care even if you tried. 

“I like him because his mom knows how to cook.” You answer with your mouth full.

"What did you guys think about that movie I told you to watch?" Ningning asks, walking between you and Sohee. The hallways are full of students and teachers as the three of you walk through the somewhat heavy crowd. 

"I didn't watch it." Sohee shrugs while eating the burrito he begged you to buy because he was "so hungry, he could pass out."

You answer, "It was horrible," ready to give a detailed description of why you hated it and everything that was wrong with it.

"Wasn't it," Ningning replies. 

"I can't believe I let you talk me into watching it." You gasp.

"I had to make sure it wasn't just me." She says, but you don't fully process it because you feel the ghost of someone's hand about to grab yours. On instinct, you attack; what else were you supposed to do? Unfortunately, right after you turn around to punch the stranger in the face, you freeze. The stranger isn't a stranger but your (fake) boyfriend, standing there with a shocked expression and blood dripping from his lip.

"Oh my god." You shriek, "I didn't mean to -"

"It's okay; don't worry about it," Eunseok mutters, but the growing puddle of crimson red liquid tells you that it definitely isn't okay.

"You're bleeding!" You acknowledge reaching for his bottom lip. 

"It's fine, I'll be fine. Let me just take you to class." 

"Well, let me clean you up." You continue, staring at his busted bloody lip. 

"It doesn't even hurt." He cheers, shaking his head. 

"I won't be long; I have my first aid kit right here." 

“You carry around a first aid kit?” He questions, his eyebrows raising in surprise, as you push him into a random empty classroom. “Do you just punch people often?”

“It was an accident.” You answer, your voice softening, as you rip a sanitary wipe open and tap it against his lip. “Why would you even be grabbing my hand in public anyway?” You ask, while continuing to repair his busted lip. 

“You’re my girlfriend; I’m supposed to treat you as such.” He mumbles.

"Fake girlfriend." You respond, your voice tinged with a hint of bitterness, as you sit up with a tube of ointment on display. "Apply this again before you go to sleep tonight, and it should be healed in no time. And don't lick your lips. This stuff tastes disgusting."  

"I don't imagine it would taste like strawberries." He remarks. 

You back away from him with your hands on your hips. "Whatever, you still didn't answer. Why were you sneaking up on me?"  He doesn't say anything for a short few moments, and you can tell that he's thinking about how to say what he's going to say. 

"So my dad is good friends with my coach, and word got around." He mumbles the last part, but it’s intentional this time.

"Word got around?" Your eyes widen at the thought, "So I'm stuck with you?" You ask, raising your hand to push your hair out of your face, and rolling your eyes when you see Eunseok flinch at your sudden movements. 

'You say that like it's a bad thing." 

"It's certainly not a good thing." You shout again. Which only makes Eunseok lean away from you, arms shielding his face. 

"Relax, I'm not gonna hit you." You breathe, "Although I should." 

"Are you mad?" Eunseok says after a long silence. 

You respond sarcastically, "No, of course not." You tilt your head to stare at the basketball player in front of you, wondering how you managed to get yourself into this situation. "In fact I couldn't be happier." 

"Since when were you and Eunseok a thing?" Ningning asks, emphasizing Eunseok's name. 

Ever since the interaction between you and him in the hallway, all you heard was his name. 

"A month," Sohee answers on your behalf,

"You knew?" Ningning whips her head around to the boy. "How come I'm just finding out about this?" 

"I tried to keep it as private as possible." You answer. 

"What, so you told Mr. Blabber mouth over here?" Ningning’s accusatory finger points at Sohee, who's innocently munching on his sandwich. "You know, you guys really make me feel left out." 

"That's what happens when you choose other people over us?" You shrug. 

"It would still be nice to know about what's going on in my best friend's life." Ningning debates.  "And what about you? Are you datin—never mind?" Ningning stops herself. Both of you know ‌that Sohee was never private about anything. The entire planet would know if he got a girlfriend. Considering he couldn't keep a secret even if his life was at stake.

"How did you even start dating? You two are so… different." The girl rests her chin in her open palm. 

"That's what I said! What could you possibly like about him? He's just some dumb ball player."  Sohee adds. 

“Dumb ball player? You might have a crush on Y/n, but that does not give you the right to down-talk the Song Eunseok.” Ningning jumps up, swinging her finger around.

All you can do is facepalm. This is why you never tell them anything; it always causes an argument. Too immersed in your friends in front of you, you don’t notice when Eusneok appears next to you until he says, “Do you mind if I sit here.” 

“Don’t you wanna sit with your other friends?” You look around the area for all the possible seats he could take besides right next to you. You were starting to think he didn’t understand what personal space was. 

"You're here." He says, occupying the seat without your permission. 

"The more I look at it, it kinda makes sense," Ningning interjects, tilting her head. 

Sohee soon does the same, only to mumble, "I still don't get it." 

"Okay, what are you guys thinking for tonight?" You try to change the subject. You feared that if you talked too much, you'd accidentally reveal how you felt about Eunseok and that this entire bit was fake.

"Why don't we just do Pizza?" Ningning suggests, but Sohee is quick to knock down the idea. 

"We always do pizza. Why don't we do tacos." 

"Mm yeah, tacos sounds good." You nod, "Let's do tacos." 

"I don't want tacos." Ningning frowns, "How about sushi?" 

"I'm good with sushi." Sohee agrees. 

"Perfect, we're going with sushi." You clap, but your joy is short-lived as Eunseok's sudden grip on your wrist startles you, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. 

'What are you guys planning?" He asks.

"Every Friday, the three of us do a game night. It's... it's kinda boring." You say, your voice trailing off, hoping he won't ask to come along. But he doesn't seem to catch the hint.

"Oh really? I'll bring the drinks then." He volunteers

"Oh no, you don't have to." You wave your palms around and shake your head. 

"I don't wanna come empty-handed."

"You don't have to come at all; it's okay." You smile sarcastically. "I'm sure you have better things to do."

"What's better than hanging out with my girlfriend?" He asks, smiling sweetly at you while Ningning squeaks about how cute the two of you are. 

"Since I'm such an awesome girlfriend, I'll let you hang out with your friends tonight." You say through gritted teeth. Squinting as you push his hands away from you.

 "And since I'm an even better boyfriend, I'll hang out with you instead." He grins, overpowering you and pulling in closer to him by your waist.

Sohee grimaces at the sight, "You guys aren't gonna be doing that the whole night, right?" He asks.

Despite all of your attempts to change his mind, Eunseok still finds himself in your living room arguing with Sohee about who knows you better. And leave it up to Ningning to encourage their foolishness. 

“Okay, this one’s easy; what’s her favorite color?” Ningning stands in front of the two boys with flashcards. 

“Blue!” Sohee calls out first. 

“Blue, purple, and green,” Eunseok calls out almost exactly at the same time as Sohee. They both look at you in sync for the answer as your smile grows.

“My favorite color is blue.” You confirm, “and purple and green.” 

You watch Sohee, your melodramatic friend, drop to his knees, his hands gripping his hair in mock despair. “You’re so dramatic,” Ningning chuckles, her laughter filling the room before shuffling the cards to ask another question. 

“Alright, what’s her go-to movie for movie nights.” 

“Umm,” You laugh when Eunseok looks straight at you for the answer. 

“E.T.,” Sohee calls out, jumping and pointing his index finger. He doesn’t have to look at you to find out if he’s right because he knows he is. That’s been your favorite movie since the both of you were kids; you kind of grew out of it since then, but you never missed an opportunity to watch E.T. 

“And the winner is-.” Ningning pauses, eyeing the two boys down for suspicion. “It’s a tie.” She beams. 

Sohee nods and holds his hand out for Eunseok to shake, “You’re cool, I guess.” 

“Thank you.” Eunseok smiles. 

“I still think you don’t deserve her, but you’re not as bad as I thought.” Your best friend explains, looking off to the side. 

“It’s getting late, I’m heading out.” Ningning breaks through the handshake to walk towards your front door. “Let’s go, Sohee.” She calls out behind her. 

“But I wanna finish hanging out with Y/n.” The boy cries but follows after her when she shoots him a deadly look. 

As the door closes behind Sohee, it's just you and Eunseok, the silence amplifying the sense of isolation. 

“I see your lip got better.” You acknowledge it when he sits down on the floor next to you. 

Eunseok taps his bottom lip, “It still hurts, though.” He says. 

You laugh and cup his cheeks with both hands, gently wriggling his face around. “You poor baby, do you want me to kiss it better?” You ask, but he stares at you blankly, his eyes filled with a mix of confusion and amusement. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You lean back from him, but his eyes never leave you. 

“Thanks for inviting me.” He finally says, leaning back against his palms.

“You invited yourself.” 

“Well, thank you for accepting me; I had fun,” Eunseok replies.” You said you do this every Friday?”

“Do not show up at my door every week, Eunseok; my neighbors are gonna think-” We’re dating.” He adds, finishing your sentence. 

“Just don’t show up here every weekend, okay,” 

“Why are you so mean to me?” 

“I have to make sure you understand that we aren’t friends,” You assert. “And when this deal ends, I’ll probably never talk to you again. So don’t get too comfortable.” 

The next afternoon, you're walking through ‌semi-crowded hallways. Sohee and Ningning, being who knows where you mentally plan what you're going to do once you get home. The plans include changing into sweatpants and watching Netflix until you fall asleep on your couch. 

The thought almost brings a smile to your face; there's nothing you love more than the soft touch of your couch, the familiar scent of your home, and the comforting silence that surrounds you when you're doing nothing in the comfort of your own home. 

Amid your blissful thoughts, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, breaking your reverie. Instinctively, you roll your eyes before you check to confirm that it's Eunseok. "Come watch me practice." He grins when you turn to face him. 

You ask, "Why would I do that?" Pulling your wrist away from him. 

"So you can meet my friends." He says. 

"Why would I do that?" You repeat. 

"Because I met your friends." 

You say, "I'll pass," but Eunseok quickly grabs your wrist again. 

"Come on, it'll be fun." He doesn't wait for you to agree or disagree before he pulls you towards the gym. 

You were quickly learning about Eunseok. He didn't understand physical boundaries, or any boundaries for that matter, and he loved to ignore everything that came out of your mouth. You could say this was your fault. You let him dangle money over your head, and now you're stuck with him for the next few months. 

Eunseok shifts his hand from your wrist to intertwine his fingers with yours. And before you know it, you're surrounded by sweaty basketball players in the gym. You hear their shoes squeak against the gym floor, along with the bouncing of basketballs. This was the first time you'd ever entered the school gym, considering you never had a reason to. Sports aren't your thing, and before now, you never imagined that you'd end up with a sports player. 

"Yeah, no, I don't want to do this." You mutter, your voice barely audible as you try to walk away. But with your hand still firmly held by Eunseok, a simple tug is all it takes to bring you back into the uncomfortable setting. 

He pleads, "Just this one time.' 

"What am I supposed to do here?" You frown, looking around the dimly lit gym, the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor echoing in your ears.

"Relax and watch your boyfriend play basketball." He smirks down at you. 

You whine, "You're not even my boyfriend." You use your other fist to punch his chest weakly, but as always, your words fall on deaf ears. 

"You're late." A stranger calls out from a few feet away from you. His tone seems harsh, a clear sign of tension, but you ignore it by clinging onto Eunseok. As the unnamed man gets closer, his eyes find yours, and he begins glaring at you, his silent threat hanging in the air. 

“Y/n this is Sungchan.” Eunseok gestures towards the boy in front of you, "And Sungchan, this is." You notice his breath hitch when he pauses. “Y/n.” 

Sungchan looks at you again, but he doesn't do anything else to acknowledge you. "Don't show off because your girlfriend’s  here." He says last before walking away. Allowing you the chance to finally breathe.

"I don't think this was a good idea." 

“Don’t worry he’s not always like that.” Eunseok explains to help make you feel better but it does the direct opposite. 

“Great so it’s just me.” You frown. 

He turns you around so that your facing him, as he takes each of your hands into his own. “Don’t think too much about it okay.” 

“I won’t.” You nod. 

“I’ll go get changed, you can wait over there.” He points with your hand still connected to his. “When were done I’ll treat you to lunch.” 

“If I have to sit here for an hour I’m leaving.” 

An hour quickly turned into two, but you remained planted on the bleachers. You would never say it to him, or even aloud, but you actually enjoyed watching him play. It was entertaining to see how much he enjoyed basketball and how broad his smile was when he turned to you every time he scored. 

You never thought you’d be this into sports, or maybe it was the boy playing the sport.

As practice comes to an end, Eunseok approaches you. “I want to introduce you to my friends.” He says. You look behind his shoulder to see Sungchan already looking at you and shake your head. 

“No, I’ll pass.” You stand up in front ‌of him and grab your bag to leave. 

“It’ll be quick.” He says,

“I have things to do, Eunseok.” You say, Attempting to walk away. Eunseok lets you take two steps before he reaches for your wrist to pull you into his arms and picks you up, barely enough for your feet to hang above the floor. 

“Eunseok.” You slam your fist around his arms, “Put me down.” You continue, but he only laughs, finally landing you on your feet when you’re in front of his friends. 

“Y/n this is Shotaro.” He points to the smiley boy standing beside Sungchan, “That’s Seunghan. That’s Anton, and you’ve met Sungchan already.” 

“How long have you guys been dating?” Shotaro asks before finishing the rest of his water bottle. 

Eunseok answers, “Four months.” 

"Four months, and you haven't told us," Seunghan asks. 

"I wasn't ready to meet anyone yet," You say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. Eunseok chuckles nervously, attempting to diffuse the tension. Your gaze meets Sungchan's, a silent exchange of unspoken words, before he finally breaks the silence.

"Well, if we're finally meeting you, that must mean you're serious, huh?" He says, looking at you.

"You never know what could happen. We might break up tomorrow." You look up at Eunseok, hoping he'll get the message.

Eunseok responds, "But we're not breaking up anytime soon." Wrapping his arm around you. 

Though you're mildly upset with Eunseok, you're even more uncomfortable with the way his basketball mate is eyeing you down. And while you'd usually push your (fake) boyfriend away, you feel the need to hold him closer, mainly because he was the only person in the room who felt somewhat familiar to you.

"Anything could happen," you say while simultaneously resting your head against him, hoping to ease that anxious feeling you're getting. 

Eunseok notices something's wrong when you begin to get unusually touchy—turning in his arms to rest your head against his chest. Their voices become nothing but distant sounds as you disassociate into your thoughts. 

"Are you ready to go?" He whispers into your ear. 

You mutter, "I've been ready to go since we got here." You feel the vibrations in his chest when he laughs. 

"Let's go." He says, reaching for your hand.

"Wait, you don't —""Aren't you hungry?" He interrupts, and you nod, allowing him to guide you out of the gym.

"Didn't know you could be so clingy." Eunseok comments as he reaches to open your drink since you were struggling with opening it yourself. 

He grins, "Here," when passing your drink back and watching you get flustered.

"I don't think we should keep meeting each other's friends." You blurt after thanking him. "It'll just make things more awkward after we break up. They'll want to comfort us and all that weird stuff." 

The way Eunseok looks at you makes your heart skip a beat. Out of nervousness, you take a bite of your sandwich to distract yourself from his gaze. "You're thinking about breaking up already?" He asks.

"How long did you plan on doing this?" You respond, "You know we'll have to stop eventually." 

Eunseok sits back in his seat, "I like introducing you as my girlfriend." he says 

"I think you need a real relationship instead of paying me to pretend with you. It's embarrassing, actually." 

"Maybe I like pretending with you," You look up to see that he isn't even looking at you. He has your heart skipping beats, and he couldn't even give you the decency to look at you.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause it won't be long." You assert to hide the way you're feeling. 

"I'm thinking about buying a skateboard," Sohee reveals. The clinking of plates and forks around you fades into nothing when you look at your friend wide-eyed. You were used to spontaneous, crazy ideas from him, but they didn't usually include potential suicide.

 "A skateboard?" You repeat

"Do you even know how to skate?" Ningning asked, playfully teasing as she took a bite of her salad.

Sohee looks away. "No, but I have free will and think it could help land me a girlfriend."  

"I think it just would make you look like an idiot with a skateboard." You shrug, "But to each their own." As you wrap your sentence up, you check your phone for the notification that just came in. 

My everything: I miss you

My everything: Let's hang out.

"You know what? I think a skateboard might actually suit you, suit you," you say, trying to dismiss the message you just received.

You observe Sohee's face lighting up. "I knew you'd agree with me," he beams. Then, he turns to Ningning and asks, "Why can't you be more supportive?"

"I can't wait to watch you fall on your face." You add, and Sohee's smile gradually fades. Your phone vibrates a few more times, drawing skeptical glares from both Sohee and Ningning.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?" Ninging speaks up first, her voice tinged with concern. You feel a familiar pang of anxiety as you glance down at your phone, quickly dismissing the call with a hesitant shake of your head. "No, um, it's just spam or something, no one really important," you mumble, hoping to convince both yourself and your friends. Sohee leans in, his brow furrowed in thought. "Have you tried blocking them?" he asks, his tone suggesting a practical solution to what seems like a trivial problem.

"It's no point. They're just going to keep coming back. I'll tell him we aren't friends, and he'll keep bothering me because he doesn't understand anything I say." You vent, the tension in the room thickening as you mindlessly stab the chicken on your tray. 

Sohee readjusts himself in his seat, feeling visibly uncomfortable now since the vibe in the room has changed. "I think blocking him might help with that."

You reach for your phone and press the power button, watching as the screen goes dark. "That should take care of it," you mutter, placing the phone face up on the table. With your attention no longer occupied by the phone, Sohee visibly relaxes, and Ninging seizes the opportunity to steer the conversation in a new direction.

"So, how's everything going with Eunseok?" she asks, a cautious grin spreading across her face.

“Why are you always bringing him up?” You whine. 

“I just wanna know the details. How come you never share the details?” She persists.

You shake your head, “There’s no details to share.” 

“I find it hard to believe that you two are actually dating,” she argues, her top lip turning up. You have nothing to say to that; you’ve been trying your best to sell your act, but you're no actor, and you were never really good at pretending to like people that you didn't.

“We're dating. It’s real.” You nod, using your drink to avoid eye contact. 

“Well, why does it seem like you don’t like him?” Ningning rests her elbows on the table, which makes you nervous for some reason.

"Like him? Please, I like him so much you could even say I love him," you reply with a forced laugh. "Can we change the subject?"

“There’s a basketball game tomorrow; I know we don’t usually go to the games, but I think it could be fu-” Ninging trails off when you throw your head back and groan. 

“I’m not doing this.” 

“Why don’t you wanna go support your boyfriend.” Ningning doesn’t back down. You always told her she could be a lawyer since she had the knack of always getting the truth out of someone. You just hated that she always used her talents on you.

"Sohee, what kind of skateboard are you thinking about getting?" You ask, ignoring the way NIngning looks at you. 

"You know you make it hard for me to believe that two of you are actually dating." She challenges, her tone laced with skepticism.

"I don't know what to tell you. Go ask him yourself, I guess." You shrug

"Name five things you like about Sohee." Ningning spurs randomly. 

"Easy, Umm, he's a good listener; he's fun to be around. He knows the best food places and has a good sense of humor. I like his smile and his fluffy hair."

"Okay, that's six things." 

"I can make it seven. He's fun-sized," you add with a chuckle, the humor in your voice lightening the mood. 

"Okay, great, that's seven. Now, name one thing you like about your boyfriend." 

"He's… Well, he's good at basketball." 

"You know, Ningning is right. I'm more convinced you have a crush on me than you do your boyfriend," Sohee interjects. 

"Whatever, think whatever you want. I don't care." You throw your hands up in defense.

"Yeah, you're not very convincing." Ningning laughs, and Sohee joins her. 

The gymnasium is filled to the brim. You just hope that it's full enough for you to go unnoticed by your boyfriend or any of his teammates. You lost Sohee and Ningning to the concession stand and the group of girls who stopped to ask Sohee if he knew how to skate.

"I'm going to go find seats," you call out, but with all the commotion happening around you, neither of them hears you. 

So you roamed the busy gym by yourself, hiding at the sight of any jersey you saw, especially any jersey with the number thirty nine. Unfortunately for you, there were hundreds of jerseys, with thirty nine going around.

"Hey." A somewhat familiar voice appeared behind you, causing you to stop right in your tracks. You think you'd rather have run into Eunseok, but Sungchan finds you instead. 

You slowly turn to see the tall boy hovering over you, already dressed in his basketball attire. "Hey." You say, sucking in a breath. His gaze is much different than the one he had a week ago; it's softer now, and you think you even see a smile. Still, you hold your breath, scared he might yell at you at any second now that Eunseok isn't around. 

"Umm," he shakes his head, "He's down there." Sungchan points to the very boy you've been avoiding. Thankfully, he's turned away from you, seemingly preoccupied with another conversation. 

"Oh, thanks." You nod.

"I can walk you down if you want." He insists, and you shake your head. 

"No- I think I'm gonna go to the restroom." You point. "I might've drank a little too much." 

"Yeah," he stands, lingering around like he wants to say something else, and you continue holding your breath. "Do you know where the restrooms are? or do you want me to walk you?" 

"I think I can handle finding them on my own." 

"Yeah, yeah, of course." 

"Yeah," you laugh. Shortly after, he laughs along with you. "Good luck with the game, Sungchan." 

"Thanks." He says just before you run off to hide in the restroom. The idea seems great at first, but you begin to have your doubts when you see rolls of toilet paper stringed along the floor, and each stall has evidence of someone else's previous activities. 

You're sure you can find somewhere else to hide out until the game starts, no big deal. 

However, when you see Eunseok leaning against the wall outside, waiting for you, you aren't so certain.

"Damnit, Sungchan," you think to yourself as you look the other way and attempt to pass your boyfriend. 

You thought you had almost slipped away when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist. "You really are here," He grinned as you turned to face him.

"Not because I want to be." You huff, "My friends forced me to come." 

"But if you tell them that you're better without me here, I bet they'll leave me alone," you think aloud. Eunseok smiles to match yours; based on that alone, you get a peak of hope. 

"Yeah, of course." He nods. 

"Okay, umm, just go wait over there. I'll find them, and then you can just say something like, 'Why are you here? I told you not to come. You're going to make me nervous and go home seriously.' And they'll buy it." You grin.

"Right…" 

"Oh, you're the best, thank you. I'll be right back!" you yell, drifting farther away to find your friends. 

"Guys," you panted, holding onto your knees as you caught your breath. “The game is about to start. We need to-" You snatched the water bottle from Sohees's grip and finished the rest of it, which just happened to be the entire thing. 

"We should go sit down, don't wanna miss the game." You pop up.

"But-"Ningning frowns, gesturing to the one person in line in front of her. "I've been waiting here for thirty minutes. I want my hotdog." 

“No time. Let’s go.” You rush, pulling her along with you to the spot you and Eunseok agreed to meet up at. 

Just as promised, Eunseok looks surprised to see you. “Hey, what are you doing here?” He asks, pulling you into a bear hug. 

“I came to watch you play obviously.” You mumbled into his chest. 

“I thought you told me you wouldn’t come.” He says loud enough for your two friends to hear. “I guess you wanted to surprise me.” 

Your eyes go wide and you attempt to push him off of you but that only makes him cling onto you tighter. “Eunseok.” 

He coos, "I'm so glad I have a girlfriend that supports me." Easing up on his hold. "I know I'm gonna do much better now that you're here." He grins despite the way you're glaring at him. 

"You two are so cute. We're going to give you some space." Ningning calls from behind you while Sohee continues to glower at the entire thing. 

"What the hell was that?" You ask as soon as they leave.

"I'm kind of busy right now, but we can talk afterward, right?" He smirks and leans down to kiss your cheek. "Wish me luck." 

"Break a leg." You shout as he backs away from you. "Or both of them." 

The game starts while you're still stomping your way through the gym, your lips turn down into a mean frown, and your arms crossed over your chest. Ningning spots you first and waves her hand around for you to sit between her and Sohee.

"You look mad." Sohee acknowledges.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" You laugh sarcastically. "I'm not mad."

"He looked at me." The girl behind you squeaks. "Eunseok looked at me." 

"Because of that." Your best friend mutters.

"Y/n isn't a jealous person. it's going to take a lot more than some freshman to tick her off." Ningning speaks up, but she's proved wrong when you turn around and glare at the younger girl. 

"Where'd you get that?" You ask, referring to her jersey.

 "I made it." She beams, "Eunseok is my favorite player."

"Give it to me." 

"No, it's mine." She pouts, possessively holding her garment.

You breathe and reach into your back pocket for your wallet. She looks at you confused when you pull out a hundred-dollar bill. "What's your name?" You ask.

"Lea." She says barely.

"Alright, Lea. I'm going to give you this." You wave around the money, "and you're going to give me that jersey. Okay?"

She nods hesitantly.

"Good girl." You coo, passing her the money and waiting patiently as she pulls the shirt over her head and passes it to you. 

It takes less than a second to slide it over your clothes and marvel at how good it looks. "Perfect fit?"  You smile, and she smiles back, holding a thumbs up. 

"That went a lot better than I thought it would," Ningning comments, her voice filled with relief and amusement, while Sohee picks at the material of your newly acquired jersey.

"Wow, did you actually make this?" He turns to ask, and Lea nods. "This is so good." He continues playing with your shirt until you push his hand away. 

"Do you skate?" She asks. Sohee looks down at the useless skateboard and then up at you, who's giving him a knowing look, anticipating his lie.

"Umm, no, I just thought it would be cool to walk around with." He utters, "But I'm learning."

"That is so cool." She giggles. 

"You think so?" 

You look at Ningning, eyes furrowed, and Ningning looks back at you with the same expression. Neither of you thought that his plan would actually work. 

"Do you wanna come sit by me?" Lea taps the empty spot next to her. He looks to both of his friends for permission, and you nod. 

The game goes on pretty well for the next 30 minutes, or so you assume. You weren't really sure; you just cheered when everyone else cheered and booed when everyone else booed. "Woo." You jump out of your seat, fist in the air. "That's my boyfriend." 

"You're cheering for the wrong team." Ningning informs you. 

"Oh." You pause. "Boo, you suck." Your best friend laughs as you lower back in your seat and continue to watch Eunseok play quietly for the rest of the game. Occasionally locking eyes with Sungchan.

Once everything is over, Eunseok finds you first. "Hey," he announces, interrupting your conversation with Ningning. 

"Hey," You gasp, feeling his warm breath on your neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and draws your back to his chest.

"Do you mind if I walk her home?" Eunseok asks Ningning, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"You can't; we have to look for Sohee." You explain but Ningning shakes her head.

"I don't mind; she was talking about you too much anyway. It was starting to get annoying." Your best friend beams when you scowl at her. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun. Bye." 

And when she skips away, Eunseok only pulls you closer to tug on the hem of your shirt. "What's this?" He questions. 

"Someone gave it to me. I figured it'd be rude if I didn't wear it." You lie. "I'm not wearing it for you."

You're scared you'll spill everything if he looks at you any longer. Luckily for you, he just nods and changes the subject. "Sungchan told me you wished him good luck." He says, taking your hand in his.

"I did."

"You told me to break a leg." He responds, sticking his bottom lip out unintentionally. 

"Isn't that a phrase of encouragement? You know, like when people say 'break a leg' before an audition because they want them to get the part." You start rambling even though you know exactly what you meant.

"They don't tell them to break both legs." He says.

You bite back a laugh. "Well, I just wanted you to do really good." 

The sky is pitch dark, not even the stars shine on the warm night. The only light comes from the dimly lit street lamps, casting long shadows on the deserted streets. But you're not gazing at the heavens. You're too busy navigating the path, trying to avoid colliding with Eunseok every few steps.

"Oh, how come you haven't responded to my texts? Is your phone broken?" he asks, breaking the silence you were slowly getting used to.

"No, my phone is fine; I just didn't wanna talk to you." 

He raises an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Ouch," He teases, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I have an idea." You stop and jump in front of him. "Why don't I help you find a real girlfriend? Then we can stop this." 

He looks up and pretends to think, giving you a few seconds of silence before he smiles down at you. "Nope."

"What?" 

 "I don't want to." He shakes his head.

"Have you ever thought about how this is affecting my life?" You whine when he grabs your hand and pulls you back next to him.

"I have, actually. You get a weekly stipend, free game tickets, and an amazing boyfriend. Could things get any better for you?" 

"I have two friends who keep poking their noses into my romantic life and a weirdo who doesn't listen to anything I say." You mutter. 

"I guess there's that too." He grins. "You still have an amazing boyfriend, though, so I think that evens it out." 

"You're not my boyfriend." As suspected, your words go into one ear and straight through the other. He keeps his same stupid grin on his face and your hand wrapped in his until he walks you to your apartment.

“I wonder what my girlfriend is doing.” Sohee pouts, tucking his chin into the palm of his hand. 

“Probably thinking of all the ways to break up with you.” Ningning laughs, and you start to laugh with her, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit. 

“Sorry, guys.” You sniff.

“Don’t worry, girl. It’s fine.” Ningning reassured but continued to back away. 

Sohee passes you a napkin. “Are you getting sick?” 

“I hope not; I don’t wanna cancel our game night.” 

“We might have to,” Ningning speaks. “Don’t worry, we always have next week.”

“But we’ve never missed a week.” You cry, “We’re going so strong I don’t wanna ruin it.” 

Ningning shakes her head. “My health is-“ She stops when she notices how you and Sohee look at her. “Your health is far more important than game nights.” She corrects herself. “So just get some rest. We’ll try again next week.”

You sniff, “Okay.” 

And just as planned, you took Friday off, as your cold just got worse. Your head was banging, your throat was dry, and your nose was so stuffed you could only breathe through your mouth. 

You rotted in your bed, your body temperature far too warm for you to relax, but the room far too cold for you to leave your covers, which was very ironic to you because you set the temperature to seventy-five degrees before you got into bed the night before.

Just as you were about to drift into a peaceful slumber, a sudden knock at the door shattered the tranquility. Frustrated, you reluctantly left the warmth of your bed and trudged through your apartment, emitting groans reminiscent of a zombie. 

"Game nights canceled." You sneeze into your elbow. 

"I heard." Eunseok sneaks his way past you and into your apartment.

"Why are you here then?" You question. 

"To check on you." He responds, "You weren't answering my phone calls."

"I'm sick; I don't really feel like talking right now." You sneeze again. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" You rush, pushing him towards and out of the door. He tries to get a few words in, but he's not able to say anything before you yell, "Bye." And slam the door in his face. 

Exhausted, you made your way back to the couch, too weary to even consider returning to your bed.

Around twenty minutes later, there's another knock at the door, and you want to cry out of anger. The more you get up, the more your head hurts. Once again, you're met with Song Eunseok. "Do you listen to anything I say?" You ask, but he only smiles fondly at you.

"I brought medicine." Eunseok covers his face with the hefty medical supply he bought for you. 

“I didn’t ask for it.”

He presses a kiss on your warm cheek. “You’re welcome.” He says before squeezing in past you and closing the door. You fold your arms and watch him find his way to your kitchen. He sits the bag on the table, slides his hoodie off, and folds it over your chair.

“I have a headache, Eunseok; I don’t have time for your games today.”

“Perfect, I bought Tylenol.” He shakes the bottle of supplements.

“Your coach is gonna hate me if I get you sick too.” You plead.

Eunseok finally pauses his movements to say, “I’ll be fine,” nonchalantly as if you weren’t losing your mind at the thought of him missing any of his practices of games because of you—all of the girls who’d line up at your door because their favorite player isn’t playing. You were just sorta getting on good terms with Sungchan; imagine how he’d react if you got his teammate sick.  

“I can hear the death threats now.” You whine, “I’ll take all the medicine, Eunseok. Just go home, please.”

Despite your cries and pleas, he only sighs. “I have to make sure you eat. You can’t take medicine on an empty stomach,” Eunseok informs ever so calmly.

Tilting your head back, you throw your arms down. Your lips naturally fall into a frown. “Why are you making this so hard?” 

“Why are you being so dramatic?” He leaves the kitchen to stand in front of you. Each of his hands lands on your shoulders. The warmth of his touch seeps through your clothes, calming your nerves. “It’s just a small cold. You’re not going to die, and neither am I.” He adds, guiding you to sit on your trim, cozy sofa. “Just relax.”

Something about the way he says it actually makes you want to relax. You inhale and let your shoulders fully rest. “See, that feels nice, doesn’t it?” He coos, his voice soothing and comforting.

“But if you get sick-“ ”I’ll be fine because you’ll be here to take care of me.” He finishes.

He’s not going anywhere; you’ve come to that conclusion when he begins pulling out pots and pans and chopping vegetables in your kitchen. However, you can’t say that it bothers you. With each passing day, your feelings towards him were shifting. You were learning more about him as a person. He was someone that his little brother looked up to, someone that his friends admired and respected. And slowly, he was becoming someone you adored, someone you were starting to have deep feelings for.

You were becoming more comfortable with his presence, so much so you could even say you craved it at times. 

“Drink this.” He mutters, holding a bottle of electrolytes to your lips. This time, you don’t fight him; you don’t have the energy. He taps a napkin under your chin to clean and sits the empty bottle on the coffee table.

“I don’t want to eat; I want to sleep.” You mumble, eyes half closed, when he picks up the homemade soup. 

“Just eat a little, then you can sleep.” 

You open your mouth to say something else but Eunsoek uses that as an opportunity to start spoon feeding you. The soup is warm, and delicious it almost distracts you from the fact that he was feeding you. 

Almost.

“I can feed myself.” You grumble. Voice hoarse as you attempt to get the spoon from his hand. He’s quicker to pull it away from you.

“Would you just let me be a good boyfriend?” Eunseok asks, dipping the spoon and bringing it back up to the tip of your lips.

“You’re not-“ You huff and roll your eyes, accepting defeat. “Fine.” You breathe reluctantly  allowing him to continue spoon feeding you. The pattern continues until the bowl is empty, your stomach is full and your eyelids are heavy. 

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” He asks but the only response he gets is a hum from while you shift on the couch and rest your head in his lap. 

“Can I go to sleep now?” You respond sluggishly against his thigh. 

Eunseok croons, “I won’t stop you.” As he slides the polyester blanket up to your shoulder. Pushing your hair out of your face when you curl up against him. 

As soon as he gives you permission, you let yourself drift off to sleep. Maybe it was the warmth of the soup, the soothing effects of the medicine, or perhaps it was the gentle way he strokes your head. You find yourself much more at ease with his presence compared to two hours ago when you were tossing and turning in bed, struggling to find a comfortable sleeping position.

As you awaken, you find yourself nestled in your bed, cocooned within the worn, soft pink comforter. The morning sunlight streams through the curtains, gently warming your face as you slowly open your eyes. A deep yawn breaks the silence as you slowly stretch your arms and arch your back. You notice that your breathing feels clearer, and the scratchiness in your throat has significantly decreased since yesterday. 

Knowing you have only one person to thank for that, you skip to your living room. Smiling internally when you see Eunseok asleep on your couch, his legs hanging off the sofa because of how tall he was. You kneel in front of him and lay your hand on his chest just barely, but it's enough to wake him up. 

As his eyes slowly flutter open, you hear Eunseok's gentle voice inquire, "How do you feel?" His warm hand reaches out to brush your forehead, checking for any signs of a fever. 

A soft smile spreads across your face as he then caresses your cheek. "I feel better," you murmur, savoring the tender touch.

"Are you hungry?" You ask eagerly, infused with warmth toward him. "I'm really not a good cook but I could order something."

Fake dating was starting to get easier. Once you realized you were getting paid to hold some basketball player's hand and call yourself his girlfriend, everything else just fell into place.

Mostly everything.

You weren't as comfortable around Eunseok's friends as He was around yours. Avoiding them seemed to be the best option, but Sungchan was making that so much harder for you.

"Catch," Shotaro calls right before a basketball comes flying straight toward your head. You should've moved or even attempted to dodge it, but you go into shock, your feet planted firmly on the ground, and your eyes squeezed shut as the ball gets closer. You wait for the ball to come into contact with your face, but it never does. 

"Careful." Sungchan sounds, throwing the ball back to his teammate. Slowly, your eyes flutter open, turning to see Sungchan standing behind you. On instinct, you shuffle away from him but nearly trip over your own two feet, and he quickly reaches to grab you by your arm and steady you. 

"Sorry, I- umm- I didn't mean to interrupt you guys I was just looking for-" You weren't usually nervous like this, and it wasn't a lot of people who could get this reaction out of you but much like Euneseok's father, Sungchan scared the life out of you.

"He isn't here." He states. 

"Okay, thanks."  You scramble towards the exit without saying another word, your heart racing and your palms sweaty. 

Your second encounter with him was when you were walking down the busy hallway. Preoccupied by your phone, you weren't paying attention to where you were going. It was a habit of yours that Sohee was trying to help you break since you were in high school. But like you always say, old habits die hard.

Sohee: Quick, Lea is demanding I take her on a date. What do girls like?

Ningning: Teach her how to skateboard. I'm sure she'd love that. 🤭

Sohee: this is serious 

 You: I already told you all girls aren't the same. Ask her what she wants.

Sohee: I tried that, she told me to figure it out.

Ningning: 😭😭

You: dude. buy her flowers or something, she’d probably enjoy a cute picnic.

Sohee: She's allergic to bees. What if I take her on a picnic and she gets stung and dies like in that one movie.

You're still typing when you run face-first into the soft flesh of someone's palm. You blink once, twice before following the trail of their arm back to Sungchan's face. "Watch where you're going." He glares down at you, his stern gaze making you feel small and vulnerable.

You can tell he's trying to be endearing, but it sounds harsh and doesn't help your racing heart or the hundred thoughts swirling in your mind. Most of them conclude with you breaking into tears right there on the spot.

"I'm sorry." you spur and run the opposite way, knowing that it's going to take longer to get to your next class. 

Another time, you're wandering around the student library searching for a specific book. It was closing soon, and you knew you had to hurry, but the book was nowhere to be found. You had already asked the librarian three times, so you weren't really eager to ask her again for the fourth time, but you did anyway. Tiptoeing back to the main desk as if it would decrease your embarrassment in any way. 

"Hey, umm, are you sure the book is in section C? I checked a few times and couldn't find it," you ask.

"You can't find it?" The older woman repeats, and you nod. 

"No."

"That's too bad." She snickers almost like a witch, which would've intrigued you any other time, but right now, you were desperate. 

"Okay." You pull your lips into a tight-lipped smile and turn away from the desk. Treading back towards the section she advised you earlier and running your fingers through each book. You make it to the bottom of the shelf before you throw your head back and huff in sheer frustration. That's when your eyes land on the very book you've spent fifty minutes looking for, all the way at the top of the shelf. 

Quickly, you push yourself up on your feet and stick your arm over your head, except the book is out of your reach. You stand on your tippy toes and try again; this time, just as you're about to grab it, another hand comes into view and pulls it right over you.

"Hey." You call, spinning around to confront the book thief. But your arms nearly get weak when you catch sight of Sungchan, holding your book. 

It happens again: Your stomach is twirling, your heartbeat is unsteady, and your palms are so sweaty that if you wiped them against your shirt, you would probably leave handprints. 

"I kinda need that." Your voice, tinged with vulnerability, comes out a lot smaller than you had planned for it to.

"This?" He asks, showing off the book.

You nod, your eyes trained to the object in his large hands.

A faint smirk played at the corner of Sungchan's lips. "Why should I give it to you?" he teases.

"Because I'm your friend's girlfriend." You blink bashfully, hoping that would be enough for him. 

Suddenly, his lips straighten out into a thin line, and you think you might've even seen him straighten up. "Right," he mutters, handing the book over. 

Just like that?  You think to yourself, your relief palpable as you hesitantly accept the book, half-expecting him to pull it back right when you get the tips of your fingertips on it. 

"Thanks- uh, Thank you." You stutter. 

He utters, "Yeah." And walks away, leaving you even more confused than before. 

You figured things were probably never going to get easier with his friends, but that wasn't a permanent problem since you and Eunseok weren't going to be "dating" for much longer anyway. 

It's pitch dark when your eyes flutter open. From the lack of light, you knew it still had to be midnight. You throw your hand around and blindly search for your vibrating phone, not without wondering who could be calling you so late at night. 

“Hello?” You utter breathlessly into your phone speaker, eyelids half open and not knowing who’s voice you’re going to hear on the other line.

“I didn’t think you’d answer.” Eunseok sounds directly in your ear. The base of his voice causes your eyes to fully open. You can hear that he’s been up for a while, or maybe he hasn’t gotten any sleep at all. 

“What do you want?” You groan, “I’m not leaving my bed.”

“I just wanna talk to you, I can’t sleep.” His confession has you rolling over to face the ceiling. Suddenly you’re no longer tired and you wonder why that is. 

“You have friends to talk to.”

“We’re not as close as you think.” You can hear him shuffle in his bed, presumably to get more comfortable.

“Neither are we.” You debate but he knows that isn’t entirely true. If you really disliked him as much as you say you do you would’ve hung up on him the second you heard his voice. Yet you chose to sacrifice your sleep to keep him entertained and that told him everything he needed to know. 

“Fair, but I don’t like them as much as I like you.” Eunseok responds after a long period of silence. 

“You’re always saying weird stuff.” You try but fail to contain your smile. 

“I’m just being honest.” He says.

Choosing to ignore his indirect confession, you turn on your side and you can hear that he turns in his bed too. There’s another moment of isolated silence but it isn’t awkward. Hearing his slow breaths on the other line is quite calming.

You whisper, “Eunseok.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can I ask you a question?” You ask

“Shoot.”

“How come you can’t find a real girlfriend?” 

For the next ten seconds he doesn’t say anything and you check the phone a few times to make sure he hasn’t hung up. “I haven’t found anyone that caught my eye.” Eunseok finally answers, but that’s far from the answer you were expecting.

“No one?” You ask. “I don’t believe that.” 

He laughs breathlessly against your ear, “Well how come you aren’t dating anyone?” He flips the question around.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But you’re the only weirdo willing to date me.” You giggle and expect him to do the same but it’s quiet on his end, except for the ruffling of sheets when he sits up on his elbows.

“You and I both know that’s not true.” He nearly scolds. “Sungchans been interested in you for a long time.” 

“Really?” You jump up. Somehow it makes sense when you think about it. The distant stares, the nonchalant attitude. You just wondered if Sungchan knew how scary he was when he was trying to flirt.

"Yeah," Eunseok sighs, "He was pretty pissed when he found out about us, but aside from him, I'm sure there were other guys who've asked you out."

You play with the closest thing to you, which happened to be the fluffy pink bunny Ningning brought you for your birthday a few years back. Humming as you think about the handful of boys that have asked you out on dates, you twirl the bunny's long ears absentmindedly, "No one that I was interested in." 

"So you're interested in me?" You can practically hear his smile when he speaks. 

"You're paying me. Plus, I wanted to see what was so great about the Song Eunseok." You tease. 

"And what have you learned?" He asks

"You're annoying, but you're not as bad as I thought you'd be." It goes silent again. Only the sounds of your wobbly ceiling fan and the noises from his background fill the room. After so much silence, you begin to bite your cheek in anticipation. Had he fallen asleep? You think to yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to do this with me." He finally speaks, and you jerk your head towards the phone. "I like having you as my fake girlfriend." 

"You're always saying weird stuff." 

"You'll get used to it," Eunseok responds. The tone of his voice tells you he's most likely fighting to keep his eyes open, that is if he hasn't already given up trying and just let himself sink fully into the comfort of his bed. 

"You should get some sleep; we have class in the morning." You say just above a whisper, half afraid to disturb his sleep.

He mumbles, "Don't hang up." Which causes your lips to turn up against your pillow. 

"Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark." You say sarcastically. 

"I'm just not ready to end the call," He murmurs, his voice rough and drawn out. You wish you could succumb to sleep as easily as he does, but you're left with your face buried in the soft cotton pillow, eyes wide open, mind racing.

 If this was fake, why did it feel so real?

You utter, "We still aren't friends, Eunseok." But the only thing you get in response is a soft snore. 

Muffled coughs, dim lights, anxious tapping. There’s no place in the world you hate more than the library, yet here you were, head buried in your notebook, bouncing your leg up and down. 

“Mind if I sit here.” Eunseok appears out of nowhere, sliding into the seat right next to you before you can grant him permission.

“What are you doing, Eunseok?” You sigh, pushing your hair back. 

“You looked like you could use some company.” He whispers back, a smile spread upon his lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay quiet.” 

You suck in a deep breath and go back to focusing on your notes. Eunseok follows your lead, keeping as quiet as he promised he would. He stays so quiet you almost forget he’s there. 

His presence becomes known again when you feel stares coming your way. You can practically feel the heat of the gazes burning into the side of your face, occasionally looking up to lock eyes with a stranger or two. 

You ignored it at first. It's just a few sets of eyes on you, no big deal. Soon, it becomes too many eyes for you to bear. Mainly because you know why they're looking. You sit up in your seat and glare at the cause of your distraction.

"This isn't gonna work." You breathe. 

Cluelessly, he lifts his head from his laptop. "I didn't do anything." He frowns. 

"You didn't have to." You gesture your head towards the wandering eyes and hushed whispers. "They're not looking at me." 

"I can't help that." 

"I know you can't, but I really need to finish this essay, and I'd rather do it without people staring," you explain. Judging by the look on his face and the way he nods, you think he understands.

"I guess I'll just see you tonight then." 

"I told you not to show up at my apartment." You scold as he packs his stuff up. He doesn't say anything, and you know he's ignoring you on purpose. "Hey." You call out and catch when a smirk plays on the corner of his lips. 

“I’m serious, Eunseok, don’t stop by.” You half whisper, but it counts for nothing when he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek.

He’s gone before you could yell at him any further. You slouch in your seat and sigh as you check the notifications on your buzzing voice phone.

Sohee: Can’t make it tonight. Lea wants me to help her dog sit 

Ningning: You know, I’m starting to not like this new girlfriend of yours.

You: No worries, ningning and I will have enough fun for you. 

Ningning: We won’t?? I’m not third wheeling you and Eunseok.

You: Noo please, this is the one thing I look forward to every week. He won’t be there I promise. Don’t do this to me please. 

Ningning: Lie to me again. 

You: Fine, Eunseok and I will have enough fun for the both of you. 

You breathe in frustration right before you bury your head into your arms, biting your lip to stop from crying. Tears swelling up against your waterline as you sniffle. Two weeks without your weekly hangouts you were just inches away from losing it.

You sit contently in your apartment, alone. Lights from the television flash on the wall behind you. “I taught him how to talk now. He can talk now.” You quote along with the movie, followed by a laugh. 

You pause the movie and throw your legs over the couch when you hear a knock at the door. Assuming it’s the pizza you ordered, you open the door, but the man behind the door isn’t wearing a pizza delivery uniform, and he certainly doesn’t have your medium two-topping pizza in the palm of his hand.

“Eunseok.” You frown with disappointment. 

“Don’t be too excited to see me.” He sneaks in past you, taking notice of your empty apartment and the miscellaneous pieces of popcorn thrown around the front of your couch.

“Everyone canceled.” You mutter. 

"Perfect, so it's just us." 

"What are you doing here, Eunseok?" You turn to face him, arms crossed. "I'm sure there are better things for you to do right now."

"Maybe, but I'm already here, so I might as well stay." He pats your head. 

Just then, there's a knock at the door, and this time, you're certain it's the pizza you ordered half an hour ago. "I'll get it," Eunseok says before you get the chance to, and you save your breath because you know he's going to do what he wants no matter what you say. You watch as he strides to the door, his long legs eating up the distance. 

"I have a medium pepperoni and mushroom pizza for-" The delivery guy stops when he looks up to see who he's speaking to. "Song Eunseok?" He babbles, "No way, I'm a huge fan." 

"Are you?" Eunseok laughs, and you roll your eyes when you know he can't see you. "How much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it, man." The delivery pushes the pizza box into the palm of Eunseok's hand. "Enjoy it." He runs off, not giving Eunseok the opportunity to say anything else. 

The tall basketball player turns to you with an annoying grin budded on his lips. "We got free pizza." He holds up the box.

"I saw." You murmur nonchalantly, grabbing the box from his hands and striding towards your couch. You can practically feel Eunseok's breath on the back of your neck from how close he treads behind you. 

"Pepperoni and mushroom?" He questions, plopping down on the sofa right next to you. 

"I didn't expect any guests." You utter, with your mouth full. 

As the night continues, you end up with your head in Eunseok's lap, gazing up at him while he mindlessly dances his fingers around your skin. 

"How long have you been playing basketball?" You murmur, intertwining your hand with his. 

"Since middle school," he answers, "My dad wanted me to get out of the house more often, so he put me in basketball camp. From there, I just fell in love with it."

"Did you ever think you'd love it for so long?" You ask another question just to hear him talk.

"No, but I never imagined I'd fall out of love with it." 

"Do you ever get tired of playing? Or just lose motivation sometimes?" 

Eunseok nods, "I do sometimes, but then I feel guilty." He glances down at you, "It's become a part of me, and rejecting basketball feels like I'm rejecting myself."

"Wow?" You gasp in awe. "This is serious for you." 

"Yeah." He breathes, "very." You sit up halfway as he readjusts himself in the chair, and he gently pulls you back down once he feels comfortable again, clamping his hand around yours. "So what about you?" He utters.

"What about me?" 

"Tell me about yourself."

"There's nothing to tell." You murmur bashfully, "I'm just a nerd who loves the idea of outer space."

"Why?" Eunseok asks, watching you fondly as you think about how you're going to answer. 

"I like the idea of how big and vast it is, how much life it holds." You sigh, "It reminds me of how small I am. That's a comforting thought for me because I know that nothing really matters." You look back up towards him and catch the way he's looking down at you. Suddenly, you become hyper-aware of the position you're in. Ripping away from his lap, you rush to the opposite side of the couch and clear your throat. 

"But that's why I love Astronomy." You laugh nervously. "Are you thirsty by chance?" You ask, jumping up and running towards your kitchen. 

"Not really." Eunseok stands up on his feet to follow you. He leans against the wall while you slide back on your counter, sipping your soda and staring into thin air so you don't have to look at him. He's the first to break the thick layer of awkward silence you've single-handedly created in the room. "My brother's birthday is coming up in two weeks. He really wants you there." He treads closer to you.

"Does he really?" 

"My family likes you." He murmurs, "Everyone likes you." 

"Because they think I'm your girlfriend." You retort, and he slides closer.

"Because you're you." The compliment causes your breath to hitch, "There's no one like you." He adds, in a hushed tone. 

Looking down at the floor to avoid looking in his direction, You respond, "You're being weird again.". 

Eunseok couldn't explain his feelings about you because he knew you wouldn't listen. He thought if he showed you, you'd finally understand. He lifts your chin and dips his head down to press a chaste kiss against your lips. When you don't push him away like he half thought you would, he does again to test the waters. Yet you still don't do anything, so he tries it one more time; this time, it's more than just a simple peck. 

It starts off small and gradually grows deeper and feverish. You slide your arms around his neck and pull him down towards you. His lips are gentle against yours, just as you imagined they would. It feels so right to have his body pressed against yours, his large hands tugging at your waist, but it feels too good. It feels so good that you begin to feel guilty.

It only takes a slight push on his chest for him to break the kiss and look down on you through hooded eyelids.

“We shouldn’t do this. “ You breathe heavily. You’re so sure this isn’t what he wants. He’s just lost in the heat of the moment. You both are. But the way he looks at you makes you doubt yourself. You rest your head against his chest, sighing, “We can’t do this.” 

In the end, you were only trying to save your feelings.

“We don’t have to.” He sounds patting your back gently, and you hate it. You hate that he makes it so hard for you to hate him. He’s so tender and patient with you; you hate that you love it. 

“I think you need to go home before we end up doing something we both regret.” You mumble against his chest. 

“Why would I regret it?” he asks. You can feel the vibrations from his voice through his skin.

You lift your head to look at him, stuck on how to answer. “We-“ you open your mouth to speak, but you’re instantly cut off with a kiss.

“I’m exactly where I want to be.” He kisses you again.

Sooner than later, he has you caged in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist while he carries you with ease. Maybe that was the perks of "dating" a basketball player. 

Slowly, he lays you on your bed. His lips only leave yours to pepper more kisses around your collarbone, trailing all the way down to below your waistline.

Your eyes shoot to the ceiling above you. You're far too shy to watch the other things he does to your body. He's gradually undressing you piece by piece until you are completely naked in front of him. While he remained fully clothed, this made you feel vulnerable and completely open to him. Not many other men could say they've seen you like this, but Eunseok could see all of you. The thought caused your entire body to shudder. Fortunately, he was there to ground you, his larger hands roaming the sheets to find yours as he made your skin heat up.

"Oh goodness, Eunseok." You mutter, biting on your lip.

"How was the dog sitting?" Ningning asks Sohee. You sense a bit of annoyance in her question, but you don't speak about it. 

"I don't wanna talk about it." Sohee deadpans.

Ningning shrugs, "Okay." and turns to you. "How was your weekend?" 

Instantly, you shake your head and look down at your food. "I don't wanna talk about it." Except Ningning doesn't let up on you as quickly as she did Sohee. 

"What happened?" She prods, and thankfully, Sohee steps in. 

"I'll tell you what happened!" He huffs. "Lea asks me to dog sit with her. I do, and then she gets mad at me for paying too much attention to the dog. It's called dog sit, not Lea sit." 

"Have you thought about just breaking up?" Ningning suggests. 

"Yeah, you guys seem to argue a lot." You join in, "which is understandable because you're an idiot, but not even Eunseok and I argue as much as you do. And I ha-"

You trail off when both of your friends stop to look at you. "Hate being away from him. It breaks my soul." You save yourself. 

"Exactly." Sohee pipes up, "The thought of breaking up with her kills me. I love her too much; she's crazy, but she's the only one for me. I'm certain."

"You've been dating for two weeks." Ningning grimaces, and you scoff at the conversation. 

"When you know. You know."

"Right…" The girl nods, shifting her attention towards you. "So, how about you?"

"Me?" You ask for confirmation. "I'm okay. In fact, I couldn't be better. I'm so okay that okay wants to be me."

"Did you and Eunseok get into a fight?" Ningning asks, reading right through your anxious demeanor.

"You didn't break up, did you?" Sohee asks. Almost as if he summoned him, Eunseok slides into the seat next to you. 

"Who's breaking up?" He asks before pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. 

Ningnings eyes remain on you, her eyes squinting as she reads your body language. How you jolt away from him, the awkward smile, the lack of physical touch.  Something's definitely up, and she wants to find out.

"How was your weekend?" She aims her question towards your boyfriend, resting her chin in her palm. 

"My weekend was amazing." He glances back at her. Mentally, you thank him for not making things too obvious, and Ningning curses him for that exact thing. 

"What made it so amazing?" She questions further.

"Um-" "He was able to knock some really important stuff off of his to-do list." You jump in to answer for him. 

Interesting. She thinks. "What was on your to-do list?" She asks.

"Wow, you're asking a lot of questions," He laughs awkwardly, oblivious to the way you're bouncing in anticipation, biting down on your lips until you think you taste blood.

"Yeah, what's with all the questions?" Sohee seconds. 

"I just wanna know the details." Ningning defends, "Unless you have something to hide." 

"We had sex." You blurt shamefully, tucking your head into the crook of Eunseoks neck to shield you from embarrassment. The pressure became too much for you to bear. 

She knew something was up, but she didn't expect to drag that information out of you. "Oh?" she gasps. 

"Me too." Sohee joins, burying his face in his hands. "And we did it in front of the dog." He confesses. You pull your head from Eunseoks shoulder to glare at your best friend. 

"In front of the dog?" You ask and he nods, his bottom lip poked out. 

"I'm not proud of it." 

"You're disgusting." Retorts Ningning, “All of you.” She points to Sohee, "but especially you."

If anyone asked, you'd tell them you were more than confident you could live without caffeine. But realistically, you knew that was a lie. Because you often had days like these where you'd spend all night cramming for a test and wake up a zombie the next day. 

Usually, you'd be responsible enough to make sure you had your credit card on you, but this particular time, you were running on forty minutes of sleep and a dream. 

"Oh, please." You beg the barista, with long copper blonde hair and a weak excuse for a goatee. "I'll do anything. Just this one time, no one has to know." 

The man shrugs carelessly, "There's nothing I can do." 

"Except there is," you whine. "Just this one time." You beg, but your efforts count for nothing as the employee begins to work on other tasks, ignoring you as if you weren't even there. You throw your head back and groan, stomping towards one of the seats and throwing your bag down. 

Not even ten seconds later, you hear someone else enter the cafe, but you don't care enough to lift your head from the palms of your hands. "Hey,' you hear a painfully familiar voice, and you imagine yourself vanishing in thin air.  

"Sorry, I can't talk right now, kinda busy." You mumble into your hands. 

"Doing what?" He chuckles, sliding into the chair in front of you.

"Contemplating suicide." 

"Woah." Sungchan pulls your hands from your face, forcing you to look at him. Close contact usually makes you freeze up, but you're preoccupied at the moment. "Don't talk like that."

"It's a joke." You roll your eyes. "I'm just super exhausted and have a super important test today. I left my wallet at home, and the barista won't give me one free pass, and I haven't had my weekly hang-out with my friends in three weeks." You throw your head down. "I'm gonna lose it, Sungchan, I'm gonna lose it."

"Would it make you feel better if I got you a coffee?" He asks, his hands still hooked around your wrists. 

You lift your chin to face him, eyes lighting up when you ask, "You'd do that? really?"

"It's just a coffee, it's nothing serious." His lips quirk into a bashful smile.

"It's very serious," You murmur, "My future career is on the line."

"Okay, just wait here. I'll be right back." He slips away for just a few minutes before he finds himself back where he started, right in front of you, this time with an iced coffee and a croissant.

"I figured you'd feel better if you had breakfast as well." 

"You're amazing, Sungchan. I owe you one."

"Consider it a favor. You're my teammate's girlfriend. It'd be wrong for me to just leave you here." He murmurs. You both stare at each other for a while. Each wanting to say something but not knowing how to say it or where to start.

Sungchan seems to find the words faster than you do. "I don't want things to be awkward between us." 

"We wouldn't be so awkward if you didn't scare me so much." You scold him, and he laughs. 

"I don't mean to. You just-" He pauses mid sentence.

"I what?" 

"You have to get to class Y/n." Sungchan stands up and places his palm on the center of your head. "You're going to be late." 

"What?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything else before he leaves the cafe, and you're left to try and figure out what just happened.

"Wow, this is a lot of children." You gasp at all six- and seven-year-olds running around Eunseok's family home. 

"It is a children's party." Eunseok remarks.

“Y/n.” Eunseoks little brother runs up to you, wrapping his arms around you when you squat down to meet him at eye level. "You're here."

"Of course." You smile to match his, unaware of the hurdle of children surrounding you until the young boy turns away from you. 

"This is my brother's girlfriend. Look how pretty she is." The boy gloats, and the others take turns showering you with compliments. 

"You have really cool hair." One kid shouts.

"You look like a rockstar." Says another.

"I wanna be like you when I grow up." The last kid speaks, and by now, your cheeks are red. Overwhelmed with compliments, you look up at Eunseok, expecting him to help you. 

He doesn't. He laughs with his arms crossed, amused to see how much the children look up to you. 

They remained huddled around you for a bit longer, each asking you questions and sharing pieces of information about themselves. However, once Mrs. Song called out that the piñata was ready, the kids disappeared from in front of you. 

Eunseok reaches out to help you, and you accept it. Tightening your lips into a line when you're grounded in front of him. 

"I told you everyone likes you." He smiles, interlocking his hands with yours. 

"I should've believed you." You say.

You didn't expect so much to change when you took Eunseok up on his offer. You didn't expect that the gym would be like your second home or that you'd care about basketball all of a sudden. You didn't expect to be standing here at a child's birthday party, being randomly showered with compliments ever so often. Or having one child after another tug on your wrist to join them in yet another activity. 

By the end of the party, you're exhausted, your feet hurt, and your cheeks are numb from smiling too much. Yet your lips remain turned up into a slight permanent smile.

"Looks like you had fun." Eunseok comments once you've reached your apartment door. You nod, and your smile grows.

"I did." You giggle. "Your parents really know how to throw a party."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He says, swinging one of your arms back and forth. While you use the other to unlock your door.

"I'll see you tomorrow." You hum when the door is open, standing on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight Eunseok."

He tightens his hold on your hand before you can get too far from him, pulling you right back. You frown before you speak. 

"My feet hurt, I need to get to bed." You complain, looking down to your shoes. 

"I have a game coming up saturday." He says, fidgety. "I think I'll play better if I had my girlfriend there." 

You roll your eyes, a faint smirk tugging at your lips. You do a weak job of trying to contain the butterflies in your stomach. "I'm not your girlfriend." You laugh, but he's looking at you like he's still waiting for an answer. "If I'm not busy that day, I might stop by." 

You watch his smile grow, and his hand wraps tighter around yours. "Can I go to bed now?" 

"Yeah, of course." He leans down to press his lips against yours. "I'll see you on Saturday then."

"I said I'll think about it, Eunseok." You respond, but you know he isn't listening.

Saturday rolls around, and you find yourself back in the gym. Just as always, it's pretty filled, and you have to push through crowds of people to get to your seat. Ningning trails not too far behind you, both of her hands occupied with the hotdogs she couldn't get the last time. "These are pretty good seats." She says once she takes her seat beside you, both of you leave just enough space for Sohee. 

"Do you see him?" You ask, leaning against Ningning as you scan the area for Eunseok. She shakes her head, mumbling something with her mouth full, but you don't spend too much time trying to figure out what she's saying as your eyes land on the very boy you've been searching for. His back is turned towards you, but you know it's him because of the number thirty-nine that's displayed along the back of his jersey. You can't help the giddiness you feel when you see him. The best you can do is bite your lip, but it doesn't do much to contain your emotions. 

You watch him for a bit longer. Your eyes are trained on him as if he is the only person in the room, And when he turns around to face you, your heart skips a beat, "Oh, there he goes," Ningning nudges you with her elbow. Yet you're too focused on the basketball player in front of you to even register what she's saying. 

'Why didn't you tell me you were here?" Eunseok asks, already pressing a kiss on your lips,

"You seemed busy." You reply, "I didn't wanna interrupt you."

You look away when his coach yells for him, but Eunseoks eyes remain on you. "You're not gonna leave, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. 

"Wish me luck," Eunseok says last as he pulls you into another kiss. 

"Good luck." You hum loud enough for him to hear. You catch his smile before he backs away from you, swiftly making his way towards the floor before the game starts. You're left with a big grin on your face, oblivious to the way your friends watch you.

"What did I just watch?" Sohee asks, breaking you out of your trance.

"When did you get here?" You change the subject unintentionally.

"He got here a while ago." Ningning answers, "You were just too occupied to notice." 

You turn away in embarrassment, searching for anything to distract you. That's when your eyes land on another couple, "Is Lea coming?" You ask

"No, she said since she's not into Eunseok anymore, sports don't really entertain her." Sohee shrugs.

You and Ningning gasp, "Oh?" at the same time. 

"But it's been a while since the three of us hung out, so that's why I'm here." He continues, "Do you think she misses me?"

"Doesn't matter." Ningning shakes her head, "If she missed you that much, she'd be here with you." And just as she wraps up her sentence, Lea plops down right on Sohee's lap. 

"Great." Your friend sucks her teeth, glaring at you.

You watch Sohee's smile grow and see as they break off into their own conversation. Both of them forget that you and Ningning were even there. That's how it stays throughout the entire evening; the two of them remain wrapped up in eachother while you watch Eunseok on the floor.

Your eyes are stuck on his every move. It's almost magnetic. Every so often, his head would shoot up in your direction, and he'd lock eyes with you. 

When the game ends, you're the first person he looks for. A wide grin is evident on his face as he effortlessly lifts you in his arms and collapses his lips onto yours. For a second, it feels like it's just you and him, but you're harshly reminded of the crowd surrounding you when you hear his dad's voice. You scream and slide off of Eunseok, shielding your face in his chest. They proceed to have a short conversation, but you're too busy burying yourself in your own embarrassment to hear anything they're saying. 

You know the conversation is over when Mr Song squeezes your shoulder and wishes you a farewell. "He's gone," Eunseok whispers against your ear, but you only shake your head. 

"I want to die." You mutter against him, to which he simply laughs and wraps you into a bear hug. 

Eunseok quickly changes his clothes after telling your friends that he wants to be the one to take you home. Neither of them found an issue with it since Sohee wanted to stay with Lea, and Ningning had her Netflix series to catch up on. 

It's almost pitch dark. The wind blows through your hair as you walk towards your apartment, presumably. If it weren't for the fact that Eunseok was holding your hand, you would've already wrapped your arms around yourself to preserve your warmth. 

Without asking, Eunseok slips his hand from yours to wrap his jacket around. You let out a sigh of relief at the newfound warmth, but that's when you realize this isn't the way to your apartment.

"Where are we going?" You ask, halting as you look around.

"There's a party-"Eunseok begins to explain.

"I don't want to go to a party. I wanna go home." You whine. He pulls you closer when you attempt to pull away from him.

"I'll pay you." He bribes you, but you shake your head. 

"That's not gonna work this time." You try once again to back away, and just as before, he pulls you right back. Only this time, he wraps his arms around you.

"Then do it for me. I just made it through the finals, and as my girlfriend, I think you should reward me."

"Pretend, girlfriend." You correct him, "I don't owe you anything."

"Actually, you do; it's your duty to appear as my real girlfriend." His growing smile sends shivers down your spine, "What will people think if I show up alone?"

"Whatever they want." You shrug, "It's not my reputation at stake." 

"You're so stubborn." He laughs, pulling you along with him. 

The "party" could be classified as a hangout. Most of Eunseoks' teammates are there, including Seunghan, Shotaro, Anton, and a few other people you've seen around campus. Despite the low crowd, you still cling to Eunseok. He doesn't seem to mind it as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, holding you closer than you already were. 

The music was just a few notches below what you'd consider too loud, and surprisingly, it didn't smell like sweat and alcohol. On the contrary, the scent of the room was quite pleasant. As Eunseok converses with some of his friends, your eyes wander around the space. You notice the seventies-inspired decor, the record player tucked in the corner, and a life-sized sculpture of the school mascot standing beside it. But It's the pool table that catches your eye. 

You turn away from Eunseok as you watch the crowd surrounding the table. Each of them places a twenty dollar bill on the stool beside the table before they start the game, and you can't help but watch, knowing that you'd win if you were given the opportunity.

The players are in their element, the cue sticks gliding like silk in their hands as they aim for the vibrant balls on the table. The sharp crack of the cue ball against the others reverberates through the room as precise shots are made, and the players exchange confident smiles and spirited banter. 

The anticipation in the air is palpable as the game reaches a crucial point. The onlookers lean in their expressions, reflecting the tension of the game. As you watch, you feel the excitement building, imagining yourself stepping up to the table, calculating angles, and planning your shots with precision. 

As the game draws to a close, the victorious player triumphantly pockets the final ball, claiming the prize money. The room erupts to cheers and applause. "Do you wanna play?" Eunseoks voice breaks you out of your trance. You blink up at him and shake your head, but he can see right through you.

Swiftly he pulls you along to the table, and sits a twenty dollar bill on the stool. "You'll do great" he says followed by a kiss to your temple. Eunseok slides his hand out of yours, and backs away from you.

You gingerly picked up the cue stick, feeling the smooth wooden surface in your hand, and carefully applied chalk to its tip. Your eyes surveyed the arrangement of colorful balls, already visualizing each shot in your mind. With a sense of determination, you leaned over the table, your gaze fixed on the target. The world around you seemed to slow down as you prepared to take your shot, your mind calculating the angles and forces needed for a successful strike.

Taking a deep breath, you executed your shot with precision and finesse. The cue ball glided across the felt, expertly striking the others in a harmonious dance as the balls ricocheted off one another, following the calculated path you had envisioned. 

The game progressed with a steady rhythm, the players engaging in friendly banter and playful teasing as they vied for dominance. Every successful shot garnered a mix of applause and good natured ribbing, enhancing the camaraderie and a sense of shared enjoyment. The room was filled with warmth of shared fun and spirit of healthy competition. 

You step up when it becomes your turn again, lifting your stick and sliding down the table just centimeters before the cue ball. You take your shot. The satisfying thud as it made contact with the colored balls echoed through your ears. Your hands flew up when the last ball found its pocket. 

The first person you look for is Eunseok. You throw your arms around him, and he wraps his around your waist, hoisting you into the air. When you slide off of him, he holds your hand open to place the prize money in the center of your palm. "It's all yours." He murmurs. 

You scoff playfully, trying your best to suppress a smile. "You're so cute." 

"We're still not friends." You blurt. 

Eunseok grins, "I thought that was obvious," he says. "I mean, friends don't do what we did." 

He's amused with how your cheeks flush red and how speechless you've become. You don't even bother trying to come up with some snarky remark. Instead, you mutter, "Shut up." and Eunseok laughs. 

The sound of basketballs bouncing against the waxed floor meets your ears the second you walk into the gym. You smile softly when you catch sight of Eunseok. You throw your bag off to the side and take a seat, watching as he bounces the ball around before he takes his shot. That pattern continues a few more times before you make a noise to let him know you're there. 

Eunseok turns around immediately, an involuntary smile approaching his face. He runs over to you with the basketball in his hand. He's sweaty, and his hair is stuck to his forehead, but none of it bothers you. You still grin when he approaches you.

"Why did you call me here?" you ask teasingly.

He doesn't answer your question at first; he just kisses you, and you kiss him back. "If I make this, you have to let me be your boyfriend." He says, and you can't help but smile.

You don't get to say anything before he's running away from you and towards the court. He bounces the ball longer than he should, and just when he goes to shoot, he misses. You giggle to yourself but bite your lip when he turns to look at you. You get up, walk towards him, and wrap your arms around his abdomen, "You don't need to shoot a basketball to ask me to be your girlfriend, weirdo."

"I thought it'd be less embarrassing to miss than it would be for you to reject me." He says, defeated.

"Who said I would reject you?" 

You watch his eyes light up right before he leans down to kiss you, wrapping his arms around your waist and sweeping you off your feet. 

[hyypnotix-writes]

Part 3

~ howdy! it's here ..I don't fully know how I feel about it, I might keep editing it at another point, but I've taken the piss with keeping you waiting for so long, I just want you to have something ~

~ it's long - I thought the other two were bad enough but this is longer than both of them combined. it's 26k words so I'm very sorry, and I do understand if that's too much for any of you ~

~ I don't know how to break it up to make it easier, or more fun, for you to read. I hope it doesn't put all of you off, but unless you're an incredibly quick reader ..you will probably have to read this one when you genuinely have nothing else to do ~

~ I'm not sure how well this chapter will go down, this could well be the end of our little journey together ~

~ I've had a lot of fun writing for all of you if it is, despite me stressing myself out with it! you've all been very kind and lovely, and however you've enjoyed any part of my writing, I've really appreciated every interaction ~

~ whether you liked, reblogged, or sent me a little message - every single one of you has made me smile, so I really hope this doesn't disappoint any of you too much! ~

~ good luck! good bye xx ~

Part 1 Part 2

________________

Rain is absolutely not what you signed up for when you agreed to come to Barcelona with your sister. Travelling all the way to sunny Spain, and bringing the bloody British weather with you as you go? What a horrible little joke.  

You’re not going to be the sun-kissed envy of your friends if it stays like this, you’ll be going back to London even paler than you were when you left it.  

The rainfall dribbles down the outside of the window, opposite where you rest your forehead, and a mournful sigh escapes your lips as you look out at the abysmal sight of the city streets down below. You draw a smiley face with your finger, where your breath fogged up the glass, and you try to mirror the expression on your own face as you extract yourself from the pane and flop back down onto the bed with a very dramatic groan.  

It’s already been one of the longest mornings of your life, and it’s only just turned 10:00.  

Sleep eluded you once again last night. Every hour, on the hour, you watched the clock tick over. Seconds suspending themselves in the air, minutes moving like molasses, as you counted infinite sheep in your head. Time flies when you’re having fun, as they say, but boy does it drag its heels when you’re praying for it to soar.  

Despite your fun little belief that you might’ve finally been sleeping soundly last night, it didn’t actually come to fruition. It turns out that it’s quite difficult for someone to fall asleep after finding out that the woman they’re falling for has secretly been a famous sporting icon the whole time that they’ve known her. Who’d have thought? 

It’s still a little hard for you to wrap your head around. The fact that she’s a bit famous, and her celebrity status stems from football of all things. Even with detective skills as exceptional as yours, that possibility never crossed your mind.  

Exhaustion is starting to plague your body after so many restless nights, and the antisocial behaviour you’re demonstrating because of it, isn’t largely appreciated by your sister. Abandoning Em to go and have breakfast on your own, before she had chance to wake up and join you, wasn’t a deliberate act of cruelty from you, you genuinely thought you were doing her a favour by letting her have a lie in.  

You are on holiday together, though, so she didn’t fully enjoy waking up alone in your shared hotel room. She made that much abundantly clear to you, with the countless strongly worded text messages that you received as you awkwardly traipsed back upstairs to apologise to her.  

A silent and forceful barging into your shoulder was all that greeted you, as you returned to the room and she made her exit from it.  

It’s unfortunate. She’s in a pissy mood, the weather’s in a pissy state, and you have to go to a pissing football match later on this evening. What a cruel world it is that you’re living in.  

It’s very unnatural that your one saving grace of the day is the pissing football match that you have to attend. That being one of the highlights of your holiday, really won’t make much sense at all to any of your friends when you tell them about it.  

You stare longingly at your phone for a while, tapping your fingers over your torso as you wait for Em’s return from breakfast. You let out a soft sigh as you gaze up at the ceiling, before gently closing your eyes, in the futile hopes of having a quick nap. The darkness behind your eyelids allows your mind to wander all too freely. Which it very quickly does, to more thoughts of Alexia. The same way that it has done, since the very first moment that she so casually waltzed into your life.  

This morning, however, it’s not thoughts of confusion, that cloud your brain. Sexuality concerns and hopeless pining are far from the forefront of your mind. It’s excitement that envelops you, anticipation. The fact that you’ve found your impossible-to-find woman, and that she’s no longer impossible for you to find at all. She may very well be one of the easiest people to locate, in all of Barcelona, as it happens. Knowing that you get to see her, at least one more time again this evening, even if it’s only from a distance, is a promise that has an involuntary smile tugging at the corners of your lips, and your heart doing cartwheels inside of your chest.  

There’s the distinct feeling of potential that hangs in the air for tonight. You can’t pretend that you’re not feeling hopeful about seeing her a little bit more up-close-and-personal than just from your seat in the stands. You’d quite like to be able to congratulate her, if the scoreline goes in her favour.  

You pull the neck of Alexia’s sweatshirt up over your face, in an attempt to fully bring the possibilities to life in the playground of your imagination, and you let out another sigh as you rest your hand over your stomach.  

It really doesn’t smell enough like her anymore, but it still your favourite item of clothing, as it is still very much hers. It’s the most effective key for unlocking your memories with her, and you breathe it in deeply, as you let your thoughts of her consume you.  

You really are feeling desperately needy, you’ve already been in this position once this morning.  

It’s not a hunger that’s ever infiltrated your body and mind quite so fervidly. You’re not a particularly clingy person, you’re not usually so obsessive, or lustful. You’re certainly hot-blooded, and you know how to enjoy yourself, but there’s never normally this type of craving in you for another person.  

Having your mind be so fanatical about someone else really isn’t something that’s ever overcome you quite so powerfully. It’s a rare sort of desire in you, that only she’s been able to spark, and it’s proving very difficult to satiate it.  

Your hand wanders slightly, as she takes over your head, the tips of your fingers trailing the waistband of your shorts, before the excessively loud opening and closing of the hotel room door, abruptly halts you from getting too invested in your fantasies.  

You turn your attention to your sister, removing your fingers with an unfortunate twang, as the elastic hits back down your skin, and you slowly free your face as she obliviously trudges across the room.  

You offer up an apologetic smile for abandoning her earlier, as she places her coffee on the table, and, with a piece of toast dangling from her mouth, she smiles back at you, the power of a full stomach seemingly diluting her previous feelings of anger.  

Her smile quickly contorts into a mischievous little grin, and there’s a glint in her eye, as she pounces on the bed.  

“Are you good?” You chuckle, as she rummages next to you, but she doesn’t gift you with any verbal reply. It’s your phone that she’s interested in, you realise, and you hold out your hand, for her to return it to you. “Behave.” You warn her, but she only giggles at the unlocked screen and shakes her head at you.  

“Do you have a new girl crush?” She mocks, goading you as she waves the device in front of your face. “Big into Alexia Putellas, are we?” 

“I was just ..familiarising myself.” You tell her, shuffling yourself a little, as a soft pink hue rushes to your cheeks.  

“Is that what you’re calling it?” She scoffs. “You know, I also tend to search for someone’s back tattoos when I’m trying to memorise their face!” 

“I was— I ..can I have my phone back, please?” You sigh, giving up on any attempt at trying to defend yourself.  

You don’t need to defend yourself to her. You like Alexia’s tattoos, and simply wanting to see them again, is merely an appreciation of art. That’s entirely innocent enough. It wasn’t a perverse search; it didn’t come from a sinful place.  

The fact that it immediately triggered flashbacks to you tracing over all of them with your lips, really wasn’t exactly your fault. It was unintentional, an almost reflex response from you.  

Letting yourself get mildly carried away with remembering how Alexia had kissed along your own body and how her lips had this wonderfully curious tendency of just always roaming down. The little knot that tied itself in your stomach, and your breath hitching as you relived the eye contact that she made with you before she had your back arching under her.  

That’s all a little less innocent, maybe, but it still wasn’t deliberate. It couldn’t be helped; it was just an automatic reimagining of events.  

You’re allowed to do that, they’re your memories. It’s entirely permissible for you to take a little journey through them every once in a while. It’s been over a month for you, and you have some overdue frustrations. That’s not a crime, you’re not a pervy creep.  

“You have a real thing for Spanish women at the minute, huh?” Em recognises, pulling you from your dirty thoughts again as she drops your phone down onto your stomach and takes another bite of her breakfast.  

“Mhmm. I quite like her tattoos.” You tell her casually, and she smiles back at you with a raised eyebrow.  

“Whenever you’re ready for me to do your next one, let me know!” 

“Mm.” You mumble, as you feel the ink on your rib cage begin to sear under her stare.  

You really do like tattoos, but there’s a reason that you only have the one on you. Your distinct lack of body art probably doesn’t seem like the greatest advertisement for your sister’s abilities, but it’s your own indecisiveness, and aversion to needles, that’s stopped you from getting too many, not her deficiency of talent. Maybe you’re a little bit squeamish, but it really did hurt.  

“You’re a big baby.” She laughs at you as you rub at the side of your body, trying to relieve the faint burning of your skin, and she claps the remnants of toast crumbs from her hands onto the floor, as she lays next to you. “What do you fancy doing today?” She asks you. “I’m sorry about the shit weather, that’s kinda fucked with your tanning plans.” 

“It’s not really your fault, but I was going to ask for your help, actually. If you’re feeling a little guilty?” 

“Oh?” She turns her head, furrowing her brow at you, her interest piqued, and you let out a sigh as you swallow your pride.  

“I was hoping, maybe you’d help me learn some football things.” 

“Football things?” She scoffs, but you don’t let her mockery deter you, as you nod at her decidedly.  

“Mhmm.” 

The back of Em’s hand very quickly finds itself pressed against your forehead with a quiet little smack, and you scrunch up your face in confusion as she frowns down at you.  

“What on earth are you doing?” 

“Are you feeling okay?” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, yes!” You sigh, pushing her arm away from you to stop her from checking your temperature. “I’d just like to know some things. Stop me from going into the match so blind.” 

She narrows her eyes, considering you for a moment. “What do you want to know?” She asks, and you wince at the freedom she’s granted you.  

“Just like ..players’ names, probably? I think that’d be helpful. Maybe some basic rules.” You shrug.  

She continues frowning at you, and you buckle a little under the intensity of her stare.  

“What?” 

“You’ve never cared before..” she reminds you, the suspicion in her eyes only increasing, as you release a small huff through your nose.  

“That’s not really true..” You try to start arguing, but it’s a completely pointless activity, you’re both far too aware that you’re completely lying.

Football has existed for your entire life, and you’ve been interested in it, a grand total, of zero times, before now. You find out that it’s Alexia’s favourite thing to do, and you suddenly want to know everything you can about it. It's entirely tragic of you, and it's too convoluted of a confession to share with your sister right now. She was useless enough when you admitted to a single kiss with another woman, trying to explain all of this mayhem would absolutely break her little brain.

“I’ve definitely cheered with you a couple of times!” You offer and she shakes her head, laughing loudly at you.  

“No no no!” She states. “Quietly saying ‘woo team’ when I tell you someone’s scored, is not cheering with me! I told you Rachel Daly scored once, and you still threw your fist in the air!” 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“She plays for Aston Villa!” She points out, smacking your shoulder, and you let out another tiny huff. “I could tell you that Emma Hayes had scored, and you wouldn’t question it.” 

“Why would that be weird, is she the goalkeeper?” 

“For fuck’s sake!” She sighs, scraping her hands down over her face. “She’s the manager.” 

Yikes. You really are an idiot.   

“Well.. okay..” you wince, “and that’s why I need your help.”  

“Why does it matter?” She asks. “This’ll be the only match you ever watch.” 

“Maybe, but I quite like the woman who gave me that shirt.” You admit, gazing over at it as you play with the hem of the sweatshirt you’re wearing. “I don’t want to let her down by knowing nothing.” 

“Will she be there today?” 

“Mhmm.” 

Em contemplates for a moment, and you know that look in her eyes, she’s about to cave in. You sit up on the bed, readying yourself to deliver the final blow to her composure.  

“Please?” You say, pouting with a perfectly rehearsed, quivering bottom lip. 

“Nooo! Not the puppy dog eyes.” She groans, averting her gaze from you to try and stay strong. You don’t back down, and she lets out a pathetic cry of defeat when she catches your expression again.  

“There’s not much else for us to do until this rain stops.” You point out innocently.  

“That’s not true! There’s that aquarium you wanted to go to?” 

It’s a valid point from her, but rather incredibly, it’s no longer as appealing an option to you. You want to embrace football today. It’s important to Alexia, and she’s becoming important to you. As such, football ..is also important ..to ..well, no. Let’s not push it. She isn’t your girlfriend; you don’t need to be football’s number one fan just yet. Football will be tolerated by you, until further notice.  

You plead to your sister again, adding a small sniffle after your words for extra impact, and her resolve is positively crumbling in front of you.  

“You’re really serious, you want to learn about football?” 

“Mhmm!” You grin, excitedly crossing your legs, to fully show that you mean business. “Please!” 

“Fine.” She chuckles, rolling her eyes at your childish little excitement.  

“Thank you!” You grab her head to place a kiss to the top of it, and she quickly pushes you off of her. “I’d just like to know enough, though.” You clarify, before she starts getting too carried away with her lesson planning. “Just enough to stop me from looking like a fool.” 

“Well, steady on.” She snorts, with a roll of her eyes as she reaches for her sketch pad from the nightstand. “We’ve only got a day!” 

There’s a lot of information for you to learn it turns out, and you really hope Alexia’s worth all of this relentless studying you’ve subjected yourself to.  

It isn’t just her teammates that you end up memorising. Em also makes sure to teach you some footballing fundamentals, what ‘being offside’ really means, how the Champions League works, and she takes a great twisted pleasure in letting you know that tonight’s game of all games, could go to extra time and penalties, if no side is able to score more sodding goals than the other.  

You’re definitely being tested. 90 minutes is all that you signed up for when you agreed to watch the football, not a possible 120 with the looming threat of a penalty shootout attached to it. It’s entirely far too much. Why the hell is this Alexia’s favourite thing to do? Why are you still so into her? This is unbearable.  

It proves a little hard for you to keep concentrating on all of the facts that your sister keeps throwing at you, but she very quickly realises, that letting you watch some of Alexia’s highlights at irregular intervals, keeps you from getting too bored with everything else.

  

It quite amusing to you, to see Alexia wearing the captain’s armband, if you can believe. This nightclub nuisance, taking on a leadership role? That doesn’t seem right at all.  

Club captain, best on the team, best in the world? Turns out, it’s you that has the impeccable taste in women.  

She’s very sexy in her little football kit and watching her kick a ball around is surprisingly entertaining. She’s also very good, even you can see that, and the fact that she’ll occasionally lift her shirt when she’s a little frustrated with herself? Well, replaying that in slow motion is entirely fine and acceptable.  

There’s no real heterosexual explanation for your enjoyment of it, but you can pretend it’s merely an appreciation of fitness for you to keep pausing all of the videos and zooming in on her body.  

It’s not something that you ask to learn about, but Em can’t help mentioning all of Alexia’s achievements to you. It’s very fun to find out about everything, and there’s a genuine sense of pride in you for all of her plentiful accolades.  

It does feel a little misplaced, perhaps. You probably still don’t know her well enough to be just as proud of her as you are, you’ve certainly not known her long enough to be quite so pleased for her.  

It’s also slightly daunting, maybe, realising how decorated she is. Finding out about her FIFA’s best awards, the World Cup, her consecutive Ballon d’Ors.  

This is a very highly celebrated woman that you’ve been mingling with.   

She’s widely regarded as the greatest women’s player, of all time. It’s not just your sister that’s been saying it, Alexia’s been awarded for it, on the television, in front of the whole world. There’s a mural of her in Barcelona, a viewpoint that’s been named after her, and it turns out, that there’s a fairly huge amount of people that really enjoy calling her La bloody Reina. She’s revered by these people, almost worshipped.  

You’re not letting it get to you too much. Yes, she’s widely adored, she’s won pretty much every single award it’s possible for her to achieve, and she’s only just turned 30. She’s famous and well-loved and you’re just a little nobody from London, but you’re not letting that get to you too much.   

That probably wouldn’t be very wise. That would bring questions into your head, and make you start doubting yourself. That’s not a fun thing for you to do. Why would you do that?   

Don’t do that, you’ll start spiralling. It doesn’t take much to get you overthinking. You spent the past month questioning your sexuality because of one single night with another woman. Don’t let yourself worry about it, that won’t end very well for you. Don’t let her success in her career start clouding who she is to you. She’s still just the confusing lime woman, at the end of the day.   

Don’t start thinking of her as Barcelona’s sweetheart, Alexia Putellas. That’s putting her on a pedestal that you’ll never be able to reach her on up there. That’s very careless of you, to leave her up there on it without you sitting next to her, don’t do that. She’s just a woman. A very beautiful and successful woman. That’s fine, there’s lots of them about. Calm down.  

The rain finally relents a few hours before the big match, and while it doesn’t really grant you a huge amount of time to do anything too adventurous, it is a relief to realise that you won’t be getting completely drenched as you watch Alexia play.  

Em makes a rather hasty escape to the beach, as soon as the sun makes its long-awaited appearance. She hasn’t enjoyed your little study session quite as much as you have. You really just can’t win with this woman. She’s grumpy when you hate football, she’s grumpy when you’re a fan of it. She really just loves being grumpy with everything.  

Your constant refusal to be taught anything about the Chelsea players probably didn’t help you to keep her happy, though. Your insistence that Barcelona is the far superior team, didn’t go down very well with her either. Your new ‘girl crush’ on Alexia Putellas was something she began to find really irritating. You were almost actively trying to wind her up, actually. Maybe you did deserve her abandonment, looking back. You were lucky the rain kept her about for as long as it did.  

She didn’t ask if you wanted to join her at the beach, but you’d have decided to stay where you are anyway. Making sure you really have learnt enough for tonight, is your number one priority at the moment. Quizzing yourself and rewatching a few more compilation videos, is far more important to you than the city around you. The tan you actually came out to Spain for really is taking a hit today, but you can enjoy Barcelona a bit more tomorrow.  

You’re having a small dilemma in the hotel bathroom, as you’re getting yourself ready for the game. It’s an escalating concern for you, and one that your sister is growing increasingly frustrated with you for. You’re going to be late to the match if you don’t start getting a move on.       

Em barges into the bathroom, startling you as you study yourself in the mirror, and you narrow your eyes at her reflection as she stands in the doorway, staring at you.      

“What’s taking you so long?” She asks, with a very clear tone of exasperation.       

“I’m debating.” You tell her thoughtfully, ignoring her choice of intonation completely, by offering her an innocent little smile, as she lets out a very long and loud groan behind you.       

“Of course, you are.” She mutters, and she leans against the doorframe, preparing herself for you to begin your impending little spiel.       

“Right. So, I want to have the whole shirt on display.” You begin, gesturing down the front of your body and tapping your fingers to the lettering across your back.  

“Of course, you do.”      

“Right. So, I’m thinking, hair up,” you explain, demonstrating your vision as you carefully scrape your hair up into a ponytail, before narrowing your eyes at your sister again, to see if she can also see the problem with your plan, “buuut..”     

“Is that a love bite?!” She exclaims, rushing towards you and tugging at your shirt collar to examine the light bruising on your neck.       

“Ex-actly!” You sigh in defeat, letting your hair cascade back down as you grab your makeup bag again, to have another go at concealing the little gift that Alexia left on you yesterday. “I knew I hadn’t done a good enough job with it.”      

“How did you get a love bite?!” She asks, still clearly shocked by your rather tame, levels of promiscuity, as she pushes you away from her in disgust.   

“The usual way.”       

“A man sucked on your neck?”      

“Is that how you usually get your love bites?”       

She pulls an immature face at you and flips you off in the mirror. “I’m 24!” She says, indignant. “I haven’t had a love bite in years!”      

“Well, that’s very sad and tragic of you.” You tell her with a sympathetic pout. “I can only apologise that you’re so prudish and boring, I hope you’re able to recover from that soon!”      

“You’re in a very annoying mood.” She recognises with a sigh, frowning at your reflection as you carry on with your camouflage attempt. “We’ve only been here a day! I thought I was supposed to be the slutty sibling!”      

“You are the slutty sibling.” You remind her with a chuckle. “You were in a relationship just last week, and I’ve already had to make breakfast for three different girls since you broke up!”      

She smiles at you, very proudly, because she’s very very gross, and has absolutely no shame in it.       

“It’s no wonder you looked so happy last night, then.” She says, carefully inspecting your neck for you. “That’s covered it, you’re fine.”      

“Mm. Thank you very kindly!” You tell her, giving her a great big kiss on the cheek for her assistance, that she very quickly rubs back off again.       

“Be less annoying!” She begs.       

“I will not be making any promises!” You warn her, smiling widely as you tie your hair up and give yourself another once over. “How are we looking?” You ask, giving her a quick twirl.       

“Traitorous.” She grumbles.  

“Perfect!” You squeal, excitedly grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the hotel room with you.  

Your enthusiasm doesn’t die out at all, as you clamber into the taxi with your sister, and, as luck would have it, your driver is an even bigger culer than you are. You’re able to have a pretty in-depth conversation with him, what with all of the new knowledge that you’ve so recently acquired, and Em’s just ecstatic for the pair of you.

It isn’t a long drive from the hotel to the stadium, but you do clearly make quite the impression on the driver, as you end up having to reject, with as much politeness as possible, his invitation of a date for after the game.  

You’re really hoping to have other plans tonight, with some much-preferred female company.      

“He’s not ugly.” Em informs you quietly as you get out of the car, and she certainly isn’t wrong.  

‘Not ugly’ is just about as big a compliment as Em will ever give, regarding a man. So, you can rest assured that he is actually a very good-looking gentleman.  She narrows her eyes at you suspiciously as you close the door to the vehicle, and you furrow your brow back at her.  

“What?”     

“You can agree to go out with him tonight, you don’t need to look after me.”      

You shake your head at her, with a mild grimace, muttering out an ‘mm’, as your only offering of an explanation for your lack of interest in him. “No doubt you’ll be going home with someone else after the match?” You check, trying to switch the focus back to her.  

“Naturally.” She winks. “It’s been an unsuccessful holiday otherwise!”     

There's still an unfortunate level of determination in your sister to get you a date for tonight, and you have to really insist, that you simply don’t want the driver’s number. She eventually reluctantly agrees to let him take off, giving him an apologetic nod as he rolls up the window, and you give her an uncomfortable smile as she turns her attention back to you.  

“I really think you should be getting back on the horse.” She encourages, still eyeing you with suspicion as you start the short walk to the stadium. “You can’t waste your life pining after Jamie forever.”      

“I’m really not doing that.” You tell her with a sigh. “I just didn’t want to go out on a date with him.”      

“Do you already have plans with hickey-man?” She giggles.  

“Please don’t call them that,” you chuckle, “and no ..not technically.”      

“But that’s who you’re hoping to find again?”      

“Mhmm.” You mumble, trying to stifle the smile that’s pulling at your lips.  

“Is he nice?”      

“Mhmm.”      

“Is he attractive?”      

“Mhmm.”      

“Do you like him?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows at you.      

“..Mhmm.” You reply again, and your slightly nervous smile fully takes over your face.  

“Oh ..you really like him. After just one love bite?” She questions, narrowing her eyes at you again. “You don’t usually fall so quickly.” She tells you, and you can only shrug at the suggestive tone to her voice.      

“I don’t really know what you want me to say to that?”      

“I just ..want you to be careful.” She explains. “I don’t want you getting hurt again.”      

“You were just trying to bag me a date with him?”      

“Yeah, but as a one-night thing.” She clarifies. “Falling in love with a random Spanish man isn’t the best way of getting over your ex.”      

“I’m not in love with them, and I’m not ..really still trying to get over Jamie.”      

“Hm. Good. He was a prat.” She reminds you with a rather disgusted looking frown at the memory of him.    

“Thanks, Em.”   

“Ugly cheating bast—”     

“Okay, Em. Enough.”     

“But he was an ugly cheating bas—“ 

“Enough!” 

“Sorry. He was a horrible dickhead, though.” 

“I know.” You sigh. “I get it, thanks.” 

“He still gets to you?” She realises, noticing that your hands have balled themselves into tight fists, and your stomach turns slightly as you shrug your shoulders at her.  

“A little.” You admit, as a less exciting reimagining of events begins to torment your brain. “I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, only to find out he’d been sleeping around for two years.” 

“Two years?” She asks, eyes going wide, and you kick yourself for saying too much.  

“I thought I already told you that.” 

“No ..you told me he’d been with a few women. Two fucking years?” 

“Please don’t do the maths, you’ll hate him even more.” 

You attempt to walk away, already having had enough of the conversation, but you don’t get very far.  

“You are joking.” She says, grabbing your arm to stop your escape attempt. “He cheated on you, because Mum died?”      

“Not because Mum died, you idiot. Even he wouldn’t be that foul.”     

“But it’s linked?”     

“Enough, please.”   

“No. What the fuck, Y/N?”      

“That’s enough, okay. I just want to enjoy the match. We can talk about it later.”     

“We can talk about it now! I have the tickets,” she reminds you, with a very clear anger brewing in her, “you’re not getting in there without me! Why the fuck would he cheat on you aft—”     

“Because I didn’t really fancy having sex with him straight after.” You interrupt, in a hushed tone, trying to stop her from causing a scene. “I didn’t fancy having it for a while, he clearly had ..needs.”     

“Don’t justify it.”    

“I’m not ..but ..I understand why he did it. I practically pushed him into the arms of other women.”     

“That’s disgusting, Y/N. You can’t really be blaming yourself for it?”     

“Well ..I don’t know..” You mumble.   

“He cheated on you for two years, because you didn’t want to sleep with him for a bit, and you think that’s okay?”  

“That’s not what I said. I just ..get it.”   

You turn away from her again, to carry on with the walk and she hurries after to you to keep in step, not really content in letting this godforsaken conversation die out just yet.  

“That’s really the excuse he used?” She asks.   

“That’s why it started, apparently. There was obviously ..something else, for him to want to carry on doing it.” You admit, fidgeting with your fingers uncomfortably as you start thinking. “Maybe I was ..missing something that he liked or ..not doing something he wanted me to. I—” you let out a sigh, shaking your head, “..it really doesn’t matter, okay? Please, that’s enough. I honestly haven’t been thinking about him, I don’t want to start again now.”     

“I’m sorry.” She tells you, with a clear look of remorse, and you give her a light nod with a tight-lipped smile in an attempt to ease her guilt.  

You carry on your walk for only a few paces before realising Em is no longer travelling with you, and you turn back to find her staring at her feet. “What are you doing?” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers and thumb.  

She taps her toes to the ground a few times, before lifting her head and approaching you with a real sense of purpose. “Here,” she says, handing you a small piece of paper, “in case you can’t find hickey-man.” She tells you, and you do let yourself chuckle a little at Alexia’s unfortunate new nickname as you unfurl the note.     

“You got his number for me? I really don’t need this.” You sigh. You hold the paper out to return to her, but she pushes it back to you.   

“I think you do.” She tells you earnestly. “I don’t think it’s good for you to keep getting hung up on people. First Italian-man, now hickey-man. You were even working yourself up about one kiss with that Spanish woman.” She rolls her eyes at you, before giving you a sincere look of concern. “I know you fall hard, but you don’t usually fall fast. It's weird, and it’s not like you.” She explains, placing her hands on your arms, trying to get you to listen to her better. “I think you should have a proper meaningless night with someone.” She suggests with a shrug “He’s not ugly, and you’re not interested. That’s perfect one-night stand material! You're welcome!”     

“Fine ..thanks.” You mutter, giving her a little nod in defeat as you stare at the number in your hand.  

A meaningless night with a stranger really isn’t what you’re after, but you’re not about to fight her on it now. It’s not an ideal conversation to have just had, really. Your sister isn’t exactly calculated enough to have done it deliberately, she’s not trying to upset you because your footballing-happiness was winding her up too much.  

It’s frustrating from her, but she’s genuinely concerned about you, and maybe she has a reason to be. Maybe you have been ignoring some things about yourself, refusing to confront a few little issues that are bubbling under the surface.  

The ending of your relationship isn’t super ancient history, and you were with him for an unfortunately excessive amount of time. Meaningless hookups were exactly what you were preparing yourself for before Alexia ended up being your first one and ruining the rest of your plans.  

You do know that you’re not letting yourself get hung up over three separate people, though. Italian-man, hickey-man and Spanish-woman are all one person, and letting yourself get so hung up on Alexia as quickly as you are, is fine. Probably. That’s not really a cause for concern.  

Right? 

Of course, you’ve still spent less than 24 hours with her, there’s probably still lots of things you don’t know about each other. You have shared some pretty intimate details about yourselves together already, though, and she doesn’t feel like a rebound, as such. That would be grotesquely underselling the connection between you both.  

She is a woman, which is still new to you, and you really don’t usually fall so quickly for people. It took that bellend over six months to finally wear you down for a date. All Alexia needed to do was hold out a lime for you, to get herself wedged inside of your head.  

Don’t let yourself think about it too hard, you’ll do yourself a mischief. You’re just here to watch some football. You’re here to watch the girl you like, play a bit of football.  

Let’s not overthink, it isn’t good for you. It will only lead to questions and concerns, and that’s not what you need right now. Let’s have fun! 

The atmosphere around the stadium is quite the riot, and it’s very effective in distracting you. There’s flares being let off, the sound of trumpets and drums, there’s colourful smoke everywhere, the most enormous flags you’ve ever seen in your life. It’s like a little carnival, and it’s invigorating, letting yourself get swept up in the excitement of it all.  

You receive a tremendous amount of friendly looks, solely because of the badge over your heart and the name proudly on display on your back and noticing that your sister isn’t shown the same courtesy for wearing her Chelsea shirt, really only adds to your enjoyment of the occasion.  

Em drags you through the large flock of fans, trying to make sure that you don’t get separated from each other on your way into the stadium, and you keep offering up apologies on her behalf, as she carelessly mows people down for you. She is quite the woman on a mission.   

You opt to keep your head down, a little embarrassed by your sister’s rudeness, but even as you make an effort to avoid making eye contact with all of the disgruntled supporters that she keeps barging through, there is one thing that you do struggle to avoid seeing, with some of the Barcelona fans.    

An overwhelmingly impressive amount of them, also have ‘ALEXIA’ on their shirts.    

This doesn’t come as a complete shock to you. She is the best player on the team, after all. There is something about seeing her name plastered over quite so many strangers’ backs, however, that has sent your heart racing.    

This turnout of people is undoubtedly nothing compared to the millions of followers that you found out she has on Instagram yesterday, but it’s a very different feeling, seeing her fame condensed into a little figure on social media, than it is, to actually seeing so many of them in person. It’s much harder for you to ignore the countless amount of admirers that she has, when you keep physically bumping into all of them.   

“Are you good?” Em asks, as you find yourself frozen in the crowd, staring at the back of another person’s shirt.   

“Hm? Yeah, sorry.” You mutter, giving your head a shake, before letting yourself get dragged along again. “She’s very ..popular.”    

“Putellas?” She checks, and you can only nod back at her, still a little dumbfounded by it all. “Well, yeah. Obviously!” She snickers. “Come on!”   

Maybe it’s pride that you’re feeling. Knowing you’ve been spending a bit of time with someone so well-liked. That’s very nice for you, that’s entirely enjoyable and fun. It doesn’t need to be anything other than that. What good would that do for you?  

Perhaps there's a slight nervous tension in your stomach, at seeing her name absolutely everywhere. That’s probably understandable and fine. You knew she was famous, but that’s still a little confounding to actually play witness to. No one’s going to hold that against you, it’s okay to be a little overwhelmed by it all.   

It’s a new reality for you. It makes sense that that would be accompanied with a new feeling too. Anxiety isn’t something that’s really presented itself to you when thinking of Alexia before now. Of course it isn't, why would it have been?   

Picturing little scenarios with her in your mind was fun, it was silly. It didn’t really mean anything when you were never going to find her again. You didn’t need to go putting doubts about yourself in imaginary-Alexia’s head, that wouldn’t keep things very fun and silly at all.   

There are a few doubts about yourself in your own head now, perhaps. Seeing as you have found her again, you’re falling for her, and she’s clearly not the little nobody that you thought you’d entangled yourself with, but that’s probably fine. It’ll be a temporary thing. Let’s not worry about it right this second. Let’s just enjoy the game instead!  

It really isn’t wise for you to start stewing on things. You really will start spiralling.   

How could you not?   

If you start letting yourself think too hard about all the things that you were lacking, and what you simply couldn’t offer to keep a pathetic pig of a man satisfied, and you really start allowing yourself to question why you weren’t good enough for him, that isn’t going to put you in a very good mindset when seeing all these fans that Alexia has.   

Her supporters aren’t limited to just little kids or grown men. There’s a lot of women here, also sporting her name. It isn’t necessarily the case that all of these women are gay, that’s not really how watching women’s football works. She can have straight women being her fans too.   

Some of them are probably gay, though, aren’t they? Lots of the ones that are gay, with her name on them, might have a little crush on her. It’s very likely that absolutely none of them will have had to do research all day to make sure that they knew what was going on this evening. All of them will have already known everything. They’ll be genuinely into football, genuine fans of Alexia.   

Gorgeous, confidently gay, and really into football. Those are the women that surround you right now. That’s fine. What’s wrong with that?  

Why are you letting yourself worry? Why are you letting them get to you? Because they make more sense for her? Because they’re better for her? Because you’re not a fan of football?   

Alexia already knows that, she didn’t walk out on you because of it. 

She did giggle a few times at your idiocy, though, didn’t she? So, she probably did think you were a little foolish. She would presumably think it was a bit lame of you, to have spent quite so much time studying for a football match. Who else has ever had to do that? You really probably are the only one. That is a bit embarrassing. Quite pathetic of you.   

Damn.   

What a loser, you are.   

Shit.   

Maybe you should let it get to you. Maybe you’ve let yourself get carried away. Maybe you’re having a psychotic break. You’re letting yourself fall for a woman. A Spanish woman. A famous Spanish woman. A famous Spanish woman who plays football professionally, for crying out loud! Look at all of these beautiful lesbian fans that she has here. What the hell do you think you’re playing at?   

You? A little nobody from London, who couldn’t even keep an ugly bastard of a man happy? If you weren’t even able to manage to do that, how could you possibly hope to be good enough, for two-time Ballon d’Or recipient, current Champions League and World Cup winner, Barcelona’s sweetheart, Alexia Putellas?   

That doesn’t seem very likely at all, does it? You being the soulmate of this ethereal goddess of a woman? Behave yourself. You really are delusional.   

Maybe that’s why she wanted you here, to laugh at you. Point and laugh at you with all of her football friends.   

Just go home now. Pretend that you’re ill. You do look a little ill. You’ve let yourself spiral, haven’t you? I did warn you about doing that. Now look at the state of you. This is very tragic.  

 

“Mate, what are you doing?” Em asks, as you once again find yourself paralysed, staring at yet another stranger’s shirt.    

“I just ..I don��t feel well.” You mumble.    

“Noo. Please don’t do that!” She begs, all too aware of what your next statement is going to be. “We’re here now!” She reminds you, bouncing on her toes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought up that wanker, but please, we can still enjoy this together. You’ve been so excited about it all day.” She gives you a very sad pout, lightly pulling on your arm, trying to encourage you to keep following her.   

You really have been excited all day. It would be a shame to let your intrusive thoughts ruin it for you. You don’t want to let that bastard keep dictating all of the fun you’re allowed to have. You’re just here to enjoy some football.  

Woo!  

“Sorry. I just—” You pause, giving your head another shake as you try to catch your breath. “She’s just ..very popular.” You reiterate, gesturing to the stranger’s back with your thumb.   

“Did you think you’d be the only one here wearing her name?” She snorts. “I told you the woman who gave it to you was basic.”  

Your mind is still racing a little as you follow your sister out towards the stands. The atmosphere is even more intense inside of the stadium, and you try to let yourself embrace it all again, but it is mildly dizzying this time around.  

Em has nabbed you some pretty decent seats to be fair to her, though. One thing about your sister, she is absolutely going to treat herself and overspend on her interests without a care in the world. It’s something you often advise against her doing, it's not the wisest thing for her to do with her money. You couldn’t really be more grateful for it right now, though, when you’re practically sitting front row.  

Both teams are still out warming up, and you let your eyes roam the Barcelona side for a moment. You finally notice Alexia amongst all of the chaos, and you immediately stop noticing anything else. Your mind goes completely blank, just at the mere sight of her.  

She really does calm you right down, truly nothing else matters when she’s around you. That’s really very lovely. It’s a good thing you don’t live in two separate countries from each other. Imagine the way your mind would implode if you couldn’t just look at her all the time to stop your mental deterioration.. 

You watch Alexia, as she completes her runs, does some drills, begins to stretch. It’s like she’s the only one out there on the field, working in slow motion, putting on a show, just for you. There’s absolutely no reason for it to be as sexy as it is, she’s literally just warming up, but you find yourself, jaw clenched, as you observe her movements.   

She pauses for a drink break, and you remain mesmerised as she squeezes a jet of water into her mouth and pours a little extra over her face. You bite down on your bottom lip as you follow the beads of liquid rolling down her neck, slowly travelling under her shirt, and your breath hitches, as you allow yourself to remember exactly what it is that she’s concealing under her shirt. You can picture that body perfectly; you’ve thought of little else aside from it for over a month.  

She’s all hot, and sweaty, and— please! Pull yourself together! You’re in public, and you’re practically drooling. Do you remember when you were straight? Straight straight straight. Try channeling a bit more of that, perhaps. You’ll be an absolute puddle right there in your seat, otherwise.  

“There’s your one.” Your sister reminds you, making you jump as she nudges you and gestures down across to the pitch, once again pulling you away from your redacted thoughts.   

“Oh yeah! Thanks.” You tell her, feigning surprise, as you hide the small smile on your face, and swallow down on your arousal. You subtly wipe at the corners of your mouth with the back of your finger, just in case a bit of drool really had started falling, and you nod to your sister in acknowledgment. “She really is quite ..pretty.” You say pointedly, paying close attention to your sister’s thoughts and feelings on the matter.   

It probably wouldn’t be ideal if your sister showed an interest. She has a rather troubling talent with the ladies, and you’re not too sure you’d rate your chances going up against her, where another woman’s concerned.  

It really isn’t something you’ve ever had to think about before. There was never any chance of you two being into the same person until Alexia flicked a switch inside of your head. It was only a joke when she mentioned it in the café, but you can’t pretend it hasn’t niggled in the back of your mind a little.  

If you do end up introducing them, and they really hit it off? They almost certainly have more in common than you and Alexia do. They could talk for days about football together; they both have multiple tattoos where you only have a single measly little thing on your ribs. They’re both definitely gay, which is far more than you can say about yourself.  

That’s three strikes right there, isn’t it? That’s not very good.  

That’s all you get.  

You’re already out of the race.  

You’ll introduce them, they’ll fall in love, get married, have kids, and you’re left pining after your sister’s wife for the rest of eternity. Even the sweet release of death wouldn’t save you from a heartache that powerful. That’s an eternal pain. It’s permanent, infinite. A truly deathless agony that’ll haunt you till the very end of time itself.  

Good grief! 

What’s going on with you? You’re being very dramatic and sad suddenly. This really isn’t like you. You’ve only met this woman twice. Snap out of it! 

“Sure, I guess.” Em shrugs, not at all taken in by Alexia’s beauty. She really does have very questionable taste in women. You really should have known that already, that isn’t new information to you. You desperately need to calm down, you’re getting yourself into a really bad place.  

“Which one’s that?” She asks you, testing your knowledge as she points to another player on the field.   

“Ona Batlle.” You tell her confidently, shaking your worries from your head as you try to focus on what really matters right now. “Defender. Used to play for United.”  

“Very good,” she commends, genuinely quite impressed with the results of your last-minute cramming, “and that?”  

“María León. Mapi. Also, a defender. Didn’t go to the World Cup.”  

“Mhmm! And that?”  

“Not a bloody clue!”  

“For fuck’s sake.” She grumbles.   

“What? She’s one of yours,” you point out, grinning, “I don’t give a shit about the Chelsea players!”  

“You really are a twat.” She tells you, smacking your shoulder, before she crosses her arms and leans back into her seat. “Do you remember how the game works?” She asks you, rather condescendingly. “Do you need me to go through it all again for you?”  

“No, thank you.” You reassure her, innocently. “I think I’ve got it all memorised ..it’s just the best of three sets in the women’s game, right?”  

“Twat.” Em calls you again, and you chuckle to yourself, relaxing back down into your own seat, entirely satisfied with just how incredibly easy she is to wind up.  

You return your attention back to Alexia’s warmup routine, making sure to not keep letting your mind run wild with more dirty thoughts. It has been over a month for you, but even your sister’s showing a bit more decorum with her ogling of Sam Kerr. You really can control yourself better than this, you are not an animal.  

Alexia pauses her drills to have another sexy little drink, and you notice her surveying the crowd as she downs her water. She does a very careful examination of the away section, and she stops to stare, as soon as she finds you.  

You’re once again the only two people in the whole vicinity, as her eyes meet yours, and a bashful smile takes over her face.  

Whatever concerns you might be battling with, you can definitely be certain, that this woman wants you here today, and she isn’t at all discreet about how happy she is to see that you’ve come, and that you’re wearing her shirt.  

She mouths a little ‘hi’ to you, and it’s impossible for you not to smile at her, when your heart’s jumping up inside of your chest. You mouth back a ‘hi’ followed by a ‘wow’, with a slight wince, as you dramatically flit your eyes around your surroundings, and she bites at her lip, with a clear sense of awkwardness.  

‘I’m sorry.’ She tells you silently, but you shake your head at her with a furrowed brow.  

‘Don’t be daft, good luck!’ you offer with a smile, and a subtle thumbs up. You tap proudly at the badge on your chest, and Alexia’s smile only grows as she watches you.  

She responds with a nod, a ‘gracias’ and her own thumbs up, which clearly wasn’t as subtle as yours, as it didn’t go unnoticed by your sister.  

“Was that directed at you?” She asks, squinting at Alexia as she moves with the other players down towards the tunnel.   

“Hm? Looked like that, didn’t it?” 

“That’s quite cool.” She acknowledges. “She’ll probably think you got lost on the way in, sitting here with us. You don’t exactly blend in!”  

“No, that’s true.” You chuckle, tapping your hands down the red stripes on your torso. “Maybe she just felt bad for me, stuck here with you losers.”  

“Mm.” She grumbles, pulling a face at you. “That’s Sam Kerr!” She informs you excitedly, quickly moving on from your interaction, and focusing back on who she deems to be, the more important star of this evening’s show.   

“I know who Sam Kerr is,” you sigh, “I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen her poster on your wall.”  

“Mmmmmm.” She hums, gazing very dreamily at the striker as she makes her own way off of the pitch.   

“Oh, please.” You start, rolling your eyes at the state that she’s getting herself into. “Have some self-control, Em, we’re in public!”  

You really are a shameless little hypocrite.

  

Goosebumps spread all over your skin as the teams return to the pitch, and the Champions League anthem rings out around the stadium. You can feel the excitement really getting to you, as the hairs on your arms stand up on end.  

It’s very overwhelming. You couldn’t have cared less about this match yesterday morning, and now it’s the most important thing in the world to you.  

All for a girl, what has gotten into you?  

The game is highly contested right from the first whistle. With the first leg ending in a 0-0 draw, neither team is able to rely on aggregate to get themselves through, and you can feel the pressure that the players are under.  

Both sides are naturally desperate to win, though expectation is slightly higher for Barcelona, seeing as they won the whole thing last season.   

There’s a very mild sense of nervousness in you about the result. You’re not really sure how you’d go about consoling someone after a huge sporting defeat. You’ve never been very good at comforting Em when a football score has left her upset, and it’s probably far worse when you’re actually on the team that’s lost, and not just watching it through the television.  

You know exactly how Alexia would be able to cheer you up, and you’d be more than willing to try the same technique with her. She might not be as horned up as you clearly are, though. You may very well need to start drafting a proper commiserative speech for her, if the game does start running away from them. Sexual favours may simply not be enough.  

You do take some comfort in the fact that Barcelona haven’t lost to Chelsea before, and while you appreciate that nothing’s guaranteed in sports, Alexia’s very good, and you know for a fact that the rest of her teammates really aren’t too shabby either. There’s a reason that they’ve won this whole thing twice, and you’re letting the knowledge of that keep you from getting too worked up about it.  

Alexia’s the best in the world, and no best in the world is losing to bloody Chelsea, not today.  

Alexia’s incredible for you to watch when she plays, even when she only has possession for a second. She’s just a wizard on the ball, the way she reads the game so easily, how she seems to predict everyone’s movements. She’s always in control, unwaveringly calm, deliberate in her choices.  

She almost dances with the ball, and it’s impossible to deny how unbelievably gifted she is, as she weaves around her opponents. She has a very distinctive flair, for making it all look so effortless. It’s just incredibly sexy of her, and you find yourself wiping at the corners of your mouth again as you watch on, just in case.   

It’s not a skill that you’ve ever really appreciated in a person before. You’ve had boyfriends that played football in school, you watched your sister plenty of times when she was little, but you never really focused on them while they were actually playing.  

You’d cheer at the right moments, making the correct noises when you needed to, just following the rest of the crowd’s lead, mainly. You found it all a bit boring, really, it didn’t mean anything to you.   

Now, Alexia’s only casually passing the ball between herself and a few of her teammates, and you’re absolutely entranced by her, you couldn’t think of anything else you’d rather be watching. There’s a glow to her as she plays. She’s enthralling, captivating. You might be her number one fan.  

The match aside from Alexia’s performance, is far more tense than you’d care to admit. Both teams have plenty of attempts on goal, neither of them score. Every missed shot from Barcelona has you cursing under your breath, and every near goal from Chelsea has you covering your eyes like a child. It’s a little unbearable, you absolutely love it. It’s what sport’s all about.   

It’s a very unexpected reaction from you. The way your heart’s started palpitating, the slight tightness in your shoulders whenever a Chelsea player’s on the ball, the elation shooting through you every time Barcelona regains possession. It’s the skin around the nail of your thumb that suffers the most under your passion, as you nibble at it relentlessly, watching everything unfold with a high degree of intensity.   

You keep knocking your sister every time Alexia gets close to scoring, gripping at Em’s sleeve and tugging at her in anticipation. It’s hard to tell if it’s an excitable twitch, or if it’s stress-tapping of your foot, but every nerve in your body is on fire as you watch Alexia in her element. Em still can’t really understand your newly established avidity for the game, but she continually embraces it all with a light chuckle as she keeps telling you to “please, calm down.”   

The whistle blows for halftime and it’s still level at 0-0. You can barely contain yourself, letting out a huge breath that you weren’t fully aware you’d been holding in.   

“I can’t survive another half like that!” You warn Em, bashing your head against her shoulder. “I need a goal. Just one goal!” Your legs are bobbing up and down, as the adrenaline in you tries to find a way of escaping your body, and she rests her hand over them to calm you down.  

“Do you need a wee?” She asks, a little concerned at the mess you’re turning into, and you shake your head with a laugh.   

“No, I’m good, thanks! I just ..really want them to win.”  

“You’re really into it, aren’t you?” She chuckles.  

“Mhmm. Thank you for bringing me here.”  

“You’re welcome! I’m glad you decided to stay.” She tells you, with a proud smile on her face at finally winning you over on her favourite interest. “It’s a shame you’re rooting for the dark side, though. It’s weird that this is the team that speaks to you.”  

“Mm. I’m sorry about that.” You offer half-heartedly, pulling at the badge on your shirt to give it a kiss.  

“You’re such a traitor,” she tells you with a flick to your forehead, “Dad will be disgusted when I tell him.” 

 

The second half starts, and it’s much the same as the first. There’s more near misses, a few choice attempts on goal, and the game starts getting far sloppier as both sides get more desperate to score. There are some pretty ugly fouls, resulting in a few yellow cards being issued to both teams, and you’re suddenly far less concerned with winning, and far more worried about Alexia just making it out in one piece.  

“It’s quite brutal!” You point out to your sister, flinching as another Chelsea player goes tumbling to the ground.  

“Mm. You think she’d be more careful.” She tells you. She taps at the number on your shirt, and it sends an instant chill racing up the back of your neck.  

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You question, biting down hard on your thumb as you await her response.  

“She tore her ACL a couple years back, took her out of the Euros. She hardly played at all last season.” 

“Tore her ACL?” You ask, exhaling slowly as you make the connection in your head. “Would that be her knee?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Shit.” Drops out of your mouth, as you bite your thumb a little too deeply, and you try to shake the stinging from your hand.  

It makes sense, that Em would choose to withhold this little titbit of information from you, you really are quite squeamish. If you’d known this game could turn into such a bloodbath, you’d have probably elected to stay home. 

Alexia had played it coy, when you traced your fingers over her scars that night. She wasn’t exactly uncomfortable with you asking her about them, but it still wasn’t something she was going to get into with you. You weren’t going to force the issue too hard, you’re not an idiot, but it had certainly piqued your interest. She really wasn’t forthcoming with any information about herself, and it quickly became apparent how talented she was at deflecting from your queries.  

It stopped being at the forefront of your mind completely, when she was otherwise so distracting with it. Her scars didn’t inhibit her at all when she was pressing her knee against you. It felt good, she seemed fine, who were you to question? 

“Should she be playing at all?” You ask flicking your thumb against your finger to try and weaken the pain shooting through it.  

“Sure! Lots of them do, you just think it’d freak ‘em out a bit more.” She tells you. “It’s amazing she still throws herself into it as much as she does, really.” 

“You don’t become the best by tapping out.” You recognise, and she excitedly nods her head at you.  

“No, exactly! Sometimes it happens again, though. Can be the exact same rupture, different tear, same leg. A few players have it happen to their other leg..” Em continues to give you a very unhelpful rundown of just how common this career-jeopardising injury seems to be, and an uncomfortable lump forms in your throat as she goes a little too deep into all of the details with it. “Are you okay?” She asks, cutting herself off at your obvious discomfort at her lecture, and she gently taps at your shoulder. “You’ve gone quite pale.” 

“I don’t like seeing people get hurt, you know that.” 

“She’ll be alright.” She reassures you, gesturing to the Chelsea player as she pulls herself back to her feet. “It’s just when a player gets stretchered off, really. That’s when you properly worry about them.” 

You suddenly find yourself, very stressed. 

It immediately feels like Alexia, in particular, has a target on her back as the game continues. Every time she gets on the ball, a Chelsea player comes flying in, rather aggressively, trying to win it back off of her. It’s a very violent onslaught, and it’s not one that you’re keen on watching.   

She spends most of the second half having to drag herself back to her feet, and you no longer feel like you can just blame it on the slightly wet grass, when there’s a menacing little Chelsea player hovering ominously over her every time she goes down to the ground.  

The game is still level as the clock starts running down the final few minutes, but any sense of relief that this torture is almost over, is immediately extinguished, as you remember that this specific game would have to go to extra time, and then penalties, if no one’s able to break the deadlock.   

Penalty shootouts, on their own, are usually just about the only thing you can tolerate in football, when you’re a neutral with zero stakes. It sounds like a nightmare now, however. Especially as it means you’d have to endure 30 extra minutes of the Chelsea players’ assault on Alexia.   

You really can’t take it. Your heart’s started thumping. You have a headache forming. Your fingers have turned to ice.  

You’re out of your seat as Alexia makes a beeline for the goal in the 87th minute. It’s an incredible scoring opportunity, she can’t miss.   

A Chelsea defender appears to the side of her, as if from nowhere as Alexia lines up her shot, and she’s brutally slid into, just outside of the area.   

You can hear the collision as it happens, it almost reverberates throughout the whole stadium. Life in the arena comes to a complete standstill, as everyone just watches it all unfold.   

Alexia goes down, and the world stops spinning, your heart stops beating, and time stands still.   

She stays down, and your body goes rigid, your blood runs cold, and you want to be sick.  

Get up. Please get up.  

Your sister grips on to your arm trying to comfort you, trying to tell you that it probably isn’t as bad as it looked, but your eyes don’t move from where Alexia lies on the floor, clutching her knee.   

Medics are rushed onto the pitch with a stretcher in hand, and you remain frozen in place.   

Please get up. Just get up.  

The defender is back on her feet only a minute after the tackle, and she’s shown a yellow card for her foul. You want to throttle the referee right there and then.  

“It should be a straight fucking red!” You shout, as you grip your hands together on the top of your head, trying to distract yourself from the burning in your eyes, and the new quiet ringing that’s started in your ears.   

You receive a couple of snide looks from the supporters surrounding you for your little outburst, and you can hear a few less-than-friendly words being bellowed out at you, but frankly, you don’t give a fuck.  

Just get up. Get up and walk off if you have to. Just get. up.  

You want to jump over the seats. Push every annoying, arsehole supporter in a Chelsea shirt right out of your way and invade the pitch to be with her. Your body’s screaming out at you to do something, anything, and you can’t. You’re useless to her.   

Just get up.  

Alexia looks to be in agony on the ground. A few of the Barcelona players are swarming the referee for her blatant incompetence. Even the other Chelsea players are a little amazed that they’ve gotten away with it, without going a player down.   

It was a dirty foul. Out of character, according to your sister. You don’t care. It could’ve been a complete accident by her, and you’re not fussed. It was reckless, it was filthy, and she should be off that goddamn pitch with some level of suspension at least.  

Get up. Please.  

Em tries to pull you back into your seat and you still don’t budge. You stand where you are, watching the small crowd on the pitch, as it slowly blocks Alexia from your view. You bite at the skin on your thumb, willing yourself to stay calm, willing Alexia to just get the fuck up.   

It feels like a lifetime waiting for things to happen, for any sign of development from the scene on the ground. You ultimately collapse back down into your chair, trying to catch your breath, trying to stop the world from swirling around you, trying to stop your brain from assuming the worst. You close your eyes, holding your face in your hands, blocking it all out.  

Get. Up.   

This isn’t really what you signed up for, is it? You wanted to watch the girl you like, play a little game of football. Possibly celebrate her winning, with some adult-fun-time. Not find out that she’s fairly recently had such a serious injury, and then watch her go crashing down to the ground, holding that specific body part. You can’t do anything about it. You can’t help. You’re stuck in place, watching it all happen right in front of you.  

This is torture. Maybe this is why you never let yourself get into football. Who is this fun for exactly? What’s the point in it all?  

What an unbelievably useless waste of your time. You were already in a bad enough place before the game kicked off and distracted you from it. Now it’s made it worse. This is terrible. You really should have just stayed home. Imagine coming all the way out to Spain and making yourself bloody ill with it. Jesus Christ.  

Please. Get up.  

After what feels like hours, the medics do start slowly dissipating and there’s a cautious ripple of applause around the stadium, because Alexia has gotten up, but not of her own accord. She’s being flanked by Mapi and Asisat, and she looks very unstable.  

They carefully remove themselves from under her arms, and she’s not very well balanced at all. She’s reluctant to put too much weight on her leg, she’s limping, and she’s still gripping onto Mapi for dear life, but she's not being stretchered off. She’s up, and you can breathe again.   

You watch on as she tests her strength, steadily gaining confidence that her knee isn’t going to give way beneath her, and she puts her hand up to Jonatan to indicate that she will not be getting subbed off. She gives her body a shake, looks over in your direction, and she nods to herself with a reinvigorated sense of determination.   

You don’t know if you’re completely turned on by her bold display of bravery, or if you want to give her a slap for being quite so carelessly audacious. She doesn’t need to play the hero; you’d rather she just sat it out.  

“What is she doing?” You mutter under your breath, shaking your head as Alexia waits to be let back into the game.  

“You don’t become the best by tapping out!” Em reminds you, with a smile, patting your shoulder reassuringly. Her entire demeanour is in stark contrast to the one that you’re currently displaying, and as comforting as she’s trying to be by rubbing at your arm, it isn’t very effective. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks. “You look really unwell.”  

“Mhmm.” Is all you’re able to mumble out, as your eyes lock onto Alexia on the sidelines.  

The free kick awarded for the foul is saved, and Alexia’s back on the pitch for the corner. You want to stop her. You want to swear at her. You can’t handle it. You need a drink.   

You grab at the neckline of your shirt and pull it up over the bottom half of your face. You’re very very stressed. Even the familiar smell of her on your top isn’t doing much to comfort you. She’s an idiot. She’s so unbelievably stupid. What the fuck?  

You watch the corner kick, as the ball goes sailing over the heads of everyone, before it connects with Alexia’s forehead and skims past the tips of the keeper’s fingers.   

The stadium erupts around you, and you’re back up off of your seat, letting out your own roar in celebration. Your eyes are absolutely stinging with tears, as you hold your forehead against your hands, and there’s more than a few snide looks at you from the supporters you’re buried in, given your lack of propriety about the situation.  

You’re getting called every colourful derogatory term under the sun for your rather ungodly little cheer, and still, you couldn’t care less. You let out a few huge breaths, trying to steady yourself, and despite her team now trailing in the final minutes, Em wraps her arms around you, giving you a shake, as she tries to get you to properly enjoy the moment.  

Alexia points up to the sky in celebration, and you can hear her name being gradually chanted around the stands. It catches in your ear, echoing in a crescendoing drone. It’s deafening, unrelenting, and you try to shake it back out of your head before it really starts getting too much for you.  

You know that there’s going to be a fair few minutes of added time with how many fouls the second half has had and given how long Alexia was just down for especially, but you can see how the life’s just been completely zapped from the Chelsea side. They’re not equalising today; the game is done.   

The whistle blows for full time at 1-0 and you finally slump back down into your seat. The stadium is going absolutely wild around you, and you just close your eyes to it, waiting for it all to die down.  

You can hear your sister trying to pull you out of your head, but you press your palms against your eyelids, trying to block everything out. Your body’s racking itself. There’s a sharp shortness to your breath, an uneven rapidity to your heartbeat. Your head’s burning up, and your eyes are stinging.  

You’re not really cut out for this, are you? It’s all gotten a bit much. You really are spiralling, look at the state of you. All this, because of one unfortunate, mistimed tackle? Because there’s a few extra people here that know Alexia’s name?   

Barcelona just won, Alexia just scored the winning goal, and you’re collapsing in on yourself. 

What would you have been like if they had just lost? If Alexia had been genuinely hurt? Not much good, clearly. Not very helpful.  

Alexia deserves someone better. Someone who doesn’t go into a panic in the stands whenever she hits the deck. Someone who isn’t unnerved by her celebrity status. Maybe someone, who isn’t questioning her identity, at the ripe old age, of 26.  

She deserves someone, who very much, isn’t you. 

It takes a few minutes for you to come back around, pulling yourself from your oppressive thoughts, and you can see colourful stars in your eyes as you finally relieve the pressure you were forcing against them. Em offers you some water, and you down it while she stares at you, her brow wrinkled with worry.   

“Are you okay?”  

“Mhmm. I’m fine, sorry.”  

“You won!” She points out, with a cautious optimism, smiling at you as she chuckles softly. “You’re supposed to be celebrating, not ..whatever the hell this is.”  

“I’m really sorry, I just ..I don’t like people getting hurt.”  

“You wouldn’t have had to go to a hospital with her, it’s alright.”  

“Mm.”  

She gives you a hug, which lasts a suspiciously long time for her, and you can feel her jaw moving against your shoulder as she lifts her head slightly.  

“Are you okay?” You ask, frowning as you push her away from you.   

“Mhmm.” She mumbles, not moving her eyes away from whatever it is that she’s seen behind you. “Are you definitely fine?” She checks again, with a mild desperation to her voice.  

“..Yes?” You reassure her, turning around in your seat to try and follow her gaze.  

“I’ll see you in the morning, then!” She tells you hastily, and she nudges your arm, before tossing your sweatshirt from her bag at you, and straightening herself up.  

“Wait, what?” You question, rather baffled by her quick switch in focus. “Where are you going tonight?”  

Em just directs your vision up a few rows of seats, to a red-headed woman who has very clearly taken her fancy. They’ve been making googly-eyes at each other all match apparently. Since you wound your sister up earlier, with your unwavering new support for the enemy, and Chelsea have just crashed out of the Champions League again, she’s going home with her tonight, to drown her sorrows.   

She really does have an incredible success rate with the ladies, at least you won’t have to make breakfast for this one in the morning.  

 

“You’re off, just like that?” You ask.   

“We can hang out again tomorrow?”  

“Aw, I appreciate that, Em. Thanks!” 

She chuckles at you, bouncing on her toes. “Ring taxi-man.” She advises you with a wink. “Or try to find your mysterious hickey-man, again! You deserve to have fun tonight. Celebrate the win properly! Get yourself another love bite!”  

“Mm.” You mutter, and she crouches down in front of you again.  

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks. “I can stay with you, if you want?”  

“Hm? No, don’t be daft. It’s fine, really.  Thanks. Go, have fun.”  

She doesn’t hang around long enough for you to change your mind. She gives you a far quicker hug than the previous one, patting you on the head, before running off and introducing herself to her new friend at the steps. They both cast you a quick wave, which you return a little awkwardly, before they walk up towards the exit. Just as easy as that.  

“Be safe!” You call out to them behind you, as you turn your attention back to the celebrations on the pitch.  

It takes a long while for the atmosphere in the stadium to really start fizzling out, and there’s still a distinct little hum of excitement that rattles through it, as the crowd dwindles, and the players continue making their way around the grounds.   

Alexia grins up at you as she passes by your section, and you can only manage to give her a weak smile in return as you pat your leg at her with a questioning look. She smacks her knee a couple of times, smiling with a dramatic roll of her eyes, and she gives you a thumbs up to signal to you that she really is okay. She isn’t limping anymore as she heads over towards the fans, so you could almost pretend it hadn’t happened at all, if it hadn’t been quite so mentally draining.   

A fair amount of supporters still line the barriers, holding out shirts and signs, and just about anything else that they can get a player’s autograph scrawled onto. Most of them are shouting for Alexia’s attention, and her popularity and fame is still quite an overwhelming thing for you to take in.  

She doesn’t miss any of them, they all get their moment with her. She makes sure everyone gets seen too, everything gets signed. She doesn’t rush a single encounter, and you don’t miss the way people’s faces keep lighting up whenever she approaches them.  

It’s very hard not to keep falling for her, watching her interact with people, the way that she is with them. She’s just good. She’s good at what she does, she's good with her fans, she’s a good person.   

You’re biting at your thumb again.  

The knuckles on your other hand, turning white, with the vice-like grip that you have on her sweatshirt. Your legs are bobbing, and you can feel your fingers freezing up. There’s a lot of combatting emotions fighting for dominance in your head, and you’re very unsure of yourself.  

The Chelsea fans were in far less of a partying mood, clearly, as you find yourself the only one left in the away section. You watch Alexia converse with the ever-diminishing crowd for a moment longer, before deciding, maybe it’s time for you to go, too.  

This isn’t your world; you don’t belong in it. It’s been a fun time with her, and there’s definitely a something between you, that’s been nice to explore, but there’s clearly been some sort of mistake. A divine, serendipitous little mix-up. She can’t be the one for you, as you’re really not the right one for her. It’s okay for this to be it, it’s okay for you to go.  

You walk down to the barrier and carefully rest her sweatshirt over it. You can’t really also leave her football shirt behind with it, but she’s probably not desperate for that back. She’ll have loads of them lying about, there’s probably another one waiting in her training bag, ready for her to give to someone else.  

You pat at the sweatshirt a few times, debating with yourself, and you look back up across the pitch to where Alexia is still signing shirts. She almost certainly does deserve someone better than you but abandoning her is still quite a harsh thing for you to do, she definitely deserves better than that.  

You can’t just leave her and not give her a reason for it, that’s very cruel. She was excited to see you, she’ll be upset if you walk out on her.  

You crash your head down onto the sweatshirt trying to decide your next move, letting out a quiet groan as you draw a blank. She’s still preoccupied with her fans when you raise your head again, and you start pacing the length of the railing tapping the tips of your fingers together.  

You look back down at the sweatshirt, across to Alexia, and up to the exit. Down at the sweatshirt, across to Alexia, and up to the exit.  

Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit.  

Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit. 

Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit. Exit. Exit.  

You find yourself stuck on the steps, only a second later, facing away from the pitch, without her sweatshirt in your hands. You’re really not sure what your plan is. 

You do still have that number in your pocket, you could always give him a call, he really was very good-looking, exactly your usual type. Tall, dark, handsome. Friendly. Very friendly. It’s classic to you, it’s easy. Maybe your sister’s right. You need to have a meaningless night with some random company that you just don’t give a shit about.   

You really just don’t want to go out with him, though. There’s a woman on the other side of the pitch that your heart’s still lunging out in the direction of, who still puts butterflies in your stomach every time she so much as looks at you.  

You don’t want to leave. You like this woman too much. There’s something real between you. Something strong.  

Maybe it’s too strong.  

It’s impossibly strong.  

It’s a delusional level of strong.  

You’re almost at the final step before the exit, when you hear a little whistle from behind you and it stops you in your tracks. Maybe it was that little bungee cord between you both, that alerted her to your leaving.  

It sends another chill coursing up the back of your neck, and there’s an instant blurring to your vision, as your eyes start welling up. 

“Y/N?” She calls up to you, with a small strain to her voice, and you flinch, your gaze dropping to the floor. Your jaw clenches, and you freeze in place, closing your eyes, in the hopes of just disappearing from right there in front of her.  

You can still go, just keep walking. It would still be very hard for her to find you. She doesn’t have your surname, or your address, she doesn’t know your phone number. 

You can get a clean break.  

Leave it as a solo night of fun. The meaningless distraction from him, that it was always supposed to have been. Stop letting yourself fall for her. Stop letting yourself care and worry, about a woman that you barely know. Go home. Behave. Find yourself a man and get on with your regular life.  

There’s another cautious whistle as you debate with yourself, and your heart aches, hearing it echo around you. You shift your body weight, awkwardly, from your toes to your heels, and back again, a fair few times. You drum your fingers against your thighs, over your stomach, and you look up at the sky, searching for an answer.  

You need someone to give you a push, give you a sign that you’re not making another mistake. You want your sister to come back and slap some sense into you. You want your mother to tell you what to do, she always did have the right answers.  

You gently tap your fingers to your face, trying to pull yourself back into your body, as you study the stars above you.  

There seems to be a definite twinkle to one of them, and you really don’t care if you’re just seeing things. You’re looking for an excuse, any excuse, and a slight flicker in the sky, is exactly what you needed. 

You straighten yourself up, before letting out a long breath with a small nod. You bounce on your toes, and you give your eyes a quick rub, before you ever so slowly, turn yourself back around.   

You might still be an idiot. A whole damn blasted fool.  

But she’s impossible for you to walk away from. That’s just not how it’s going to work with her. She already means too much, you’re already in too deep. She’s set up shop inside of your head, she’s already living inside of your heart. You couldn’t walk away from her, even if you wanted to. 

She has your heart skipping beats, whenever she says your name. She has the rest of existence fading into nothingness around you, when all she’s done is take your hand in hers. She sends goosebumps down your neck when she whispers to you, has you rolling your eyes with a chuckle, when she’s being a playful windup. Your mind starts spinning when she kisses you, and you feel safe when you’re resting in her arms.  

You had one of the best afternoons of your life yesterday, doing nothing, but spend a bit more time with her. Learning about her, laughing with her, kissing her. She’s put a burning inside of you, and a smile on your face. You spent the whole of last night, wide awake, because you couldn’t wait to see her again. She told you that she couldn’t wait to see you, either.  

This isn’t a solo night of fun, it’s not a meaningless distraction. It never really has been with her. It might very well be your person, that’s waiting for you down there, and you’d only stand to lose everything, if you walk away from her now.  

You draw in a breath and look down to the sidelines of the pitch. It’s the greatest women’s footballer in the world, that’s leaning up against the stands for you, and she’s hoping, that you’re not about to leave her, not without at least saying goodbye to her first.    

She looks very small when you see her. All the grandeur, and spectacle that shrouded her during the game, has been completely wiped once again. She’s just Alexia, Ale, A. She’s just a woman that you met in a nightclub, just a girl that you’ve been getting to know.  

There’s a very obvious sense of worry in her, it’s not a look that often spreads across her face. She shuffles herself, tapping her hands gently on the sweatshirt over the barrier as she tilts her head down towards the ground, and you steadily make your way back down the steps towards her.  

“Felicitats.” You offer weakly, and she smiles softly up at you.  

“Gràcies.”  

“Is your knee okay?” 

“Yes.”   

“Are you sure?”  

“Yes. I promise.”   

“It wasn’t a very friendly challenge.” You tell her, frowning at the tunnel that the Chelsea player made her escape from you down. “You gave me a fright, when you didn’t bounce straight back up. Are you definitely okay?”  

“Yes, I’m fine!” She insists. “Look!” She tells you, patting her knee a few more times, and kicking her leg out to show you that it hasn’t fallen off. You can’t not smile back at her when she’s being so very cute, even if she is incredibly stupid. “I promise you, it’s fine.” She repeats, and you just have to believe her.  

“You didn’t fancy telling me your big secret, yourself?” You call out, as you continue making your way towards the pitch, glancing around the stadium, before sliding your hands into your back pockets.   

“It didn’t feel ..that important,” is the excuse she gives to you, as she picks at the fabric in her hands, “the night that we first met.”  

“And yesterday?” You push, crinkling your brow up slightly. “Still not that important?”  

Her gaze drops to the ground as you wait on the bottom step, and you nibble at the inside of your mouth. “Are you angry with me?” She asks nervously, quietly tapping her hands with a bit more agitation, and not yet meeting your eyes.  

There’s a painful twinge in your heart as you watch her unfamiliar mannerisms, you much prefer when she’s being insufferably cocky and annoying. It’s far less painful, a lot more fun.  

You let out a breath, before closing the rest of the distance between you both, and you gently rest your hands on top of hers, to stop her little nervous drum solo. She still doesn’t lift her head to face you, and you take in a shaky breath, readying yourself.  

“Do I seem angry?” You ask her quietly, trying to encourage her to look at you, as you delicately draw shapes on the backs of her hands, to distract you both a little from the obvious tension.  

You don’t miss the goosebumps that quickly form up Alexia’s arms as you do, and there’s a feeling that jolts inside of you, knowing that you both have the exact same effect on each other, even with the most casual of touches.  

She lifts her eyes to study your face, and she shakes her head, as you smile softy back at her.  

“Well, there you go then!” You tell her with a light chuckle, placing a kiss to her forehead before resting yourself against the railing between you both, and she lets out a wobbly breath. “Of course I’m not angry with you ..I did feel a bit stupid last night, that I really didn’t know.” You explain. “..I feel a bit intimidated, now that I do.”  

“I’m still just me.” She reminds you quickly, and you can see the shimmer in her eyes, as she tries to keep herself from cracking.   

You can’t help narrowing your eyes at her little claim as she collapses her head down into you, nestling it in the crook of your neck. “They call you the bloody queen, Alexia.” You remind her, and she shakes her head against you.  

“I hate that title.” She confesses. “I promise you, I’m still just me.” 

 

It’s hard to deny her that. When all of the noise has died out, and it’s only the two of you left. She is just her, she’s just another woman. A woman who is very clearly worrying about you and your reaction to her career. She knows that she stands to lose you because of it, and it’s very obvious, as her tears pool on your skin, that that isn’t something she wants to happen.   

Despite it still being ridiculously early days between you both, this connection that you feel so strongly, may very well be reciprocated by her, and it would be a shame, for a bit of football, to stand in the way of it.  

It’s terrifying, knowing that she can get hurt. Realising that everything she’s worked so hard her whole life for, rests on a knife’s edge, every time she steps foot onto the pitch. It isn’t easy, being made aware of how common of an injury it is, and how there’s no way of protecting her from it.   

If she’s going to get injured again, that’s just a harsh reality of football, and that’s a very difficult pill for you to swallow. It’s not a risk that you can stop her from taking, either. This is her dream, and you’d just have to support her through it. The good, and the bad.  

It’s also a little disconcerting, knowing how adored she is. The fact that she’s quite a bit famous, especially in this city, if nothing else. As much as you don’t want to let it seep into your mind, and affect your thoughts about Alexia too deeply, it’s impossible for it not to have altered things for you slightly.  

You’re only human, and you weren’t really fully prepped, on what her celebrity actually entailed. She was just another regular person to you yesterday, but in reality, she is clearly very far from that, and it’s a little unfair that she wasn’t the one to break the news to you. To give you some sort of heads up, before throwing you in at the deep end today.  

But ..you really were having fun, before it all went south. You were excited, you were proud, you were enjoying a football match. She does things to you. She brings out a side of yourself that you’ve never explored before, a side that’s laid dormant, for your entire life. She’s incredible, in ways that largely transcend her achievements on the pitch.   

Alexia’s never made you doubt yourself. She’s never given you any reason to question her interest in you, that’s one thing that she’s never been secretive about.  

She doesn’t know what you do for a living, but she probably correctly assumes that you’re not famous, and that hasn’t put her off at all. She doesn’t think she’s too good for you, she hasn’t treated you like you’re beneath her.  

Her fame doesn’t follow her everywhere, you were able to be completely oblivious to it, before your sister told you about it. It’s not debilitating, it doesn’t stop you from having moments together. It’s something you might have to get used to. Find a way of understanding it, learn how to cope with it. Especially on match days, when you really can’t ignore the actual magnitude of it. That wouldn’t be impossible for you to do.

  

There’s a connection between you both, it doesn’t matter how celebrated she is. You haven’t just shared a few careless kisses; it wasn’t just one night of meaningless sex. There’s something real between you both, and it already existed before you knew who she was. This madness that surrounds her, was always the reality; you were just unaware of it.  

There was a spark, regardless. You’d have the same connection with her if she was filling shelves in a supermarket, why should this be any different?  

She wasn’t put off by your lack of interest in football. She really wanted you here today. She gave you her shirt to wear. She told you she hoped you’d enjoy the game. There were tens of thousands of people in attendance this evening, and she searched for you, specifically.   

She deliberately put you in a contrasting shirt, so that she’d easily be able to find you, so that she’d definitely know that you came, and that you were here, watching her. That’s all she wanted. She just wanted you to see her play, and for you to have fun while doing it. She wanted you here, cheering her on. The best player in the world, and she's been choosing you. A little nobody from London.  

You’re allowed to be excited about that. You’re allowed to stop questioning her and second-guessing yourself. You don’t need to pay attention to the noise around you, the excited obsession with her from strangers, those distracting little seeds of doubt that he’s put into your head about yourself.  

There’s just her. There’s just Alexia, and she wanted you here.  

“Well ..just you,” you start softly, placing a kiss to the side of her head, “is a bloody lot more impressive than most people ..you were incredible out there.” You whisper shakily, and you can feel as she smiles against you, burying her head further into your neck.  

“You enjoyed it?” She breathes, and you can see a small bit of the weight that she’s bearing, lifting from her shoulders.   

“Until that moment. Yeah, I really did!” You tell her, smiling in mild disbelief at yourself. “I was worried, that I might have to pretend for you, but I just ..really loved watching you play, seeing you score!”  

“Were you quietly cheering?” She asks, pulling herself back from you, to excitedly take you in.   

“There was nothing quiet about it!” You admit with a grin, as you wipe away the streaks of tears on Alexia’s cheeks with the backs of your fingers. “You scored the winner!”  

The biggest smile spreads over her face at your bold act of tiny rebellion, and she pinches at the fabric of your shirt, gliding her fingers down the front of it, as she gives it a quick examination. “You were lucky they didn’t throw tomatoes at you, then!” 

“Mhmm! I did get a few words thrown at me, mind! There’s some horrible people about.” You tell her, as she continues holding onto your shirt. Her eyes meet yours and it’s a pair of nervous smiles that you exchange with each other. “I know it won’t mean much, coming from me. I’ve not watched a lot of football, and I know you have some pretty big awards for it, but ..you’re really bloody good! I’m so proud of you.”  

“It means everything.” She tells you ardently, pulling you into her over the railing. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it!”  

You let yourself get lost in her embrace for a moment, while she clings to the back of your shirt, and you can hear as her breath hitches when you place a quick kiss to her neck.  

“I really didn’t enjoy watching you get taken down, mind.” You reiterate, quietly.   

“No? I didn’t love that either, really.” She admits, chuckling to herself.  

“But you’re definitely okay?” You check again, pulling away from her to look properly at her leg.   

“Yes. I promise you. It’s fine, I’m fine. It just happens sometimes.” She shrugs.  

“Please don’t tell me that!” You beg, quickly shaking your head at her. “You can’t be putting me through that every match!”  

“Mm? You’ll be watching more games?” She asks, with that famous little smirk coming back into view as you nod your head at her.   

“I mean, it’s a bitch of a commute to do this weekly, but I’ll definitely be watching you on the telly, when I can’t make it.”  

“Wow.” She says, linking her arms together behind your neck. “You really did enjoy it.”  

“I know ..you’ve broken me!” You chuckle, as she rests her forehead to yours, and her lips are once again, the only thing you can focus on. You watch as she wets them in front of you, and it almost feels like she’s taunting you a little bit. “Are we allowed to kiss here?” You ask, trying to disguise your desperation, as you pull yourself away to scan the stadium.  

There’s only a few random stragglers making their exits up the steps, and none of them seem to be paying any attention to the pair of you at all. So, it might not be beyond the realms of possibility.  

Alexia takes your face in her hands and tilts your head. “Yes.” She tells you, simply, and she pulls you into her, capturing your lips with hers. She doesn’t do her own check of your surroundings at all; she really isn’t too fussed if anyone’s watching you both this time.  

It’s quite the romantic place to have a kiss, honestly. A huge colosseum, that’s almost entirely empty, a blanket of stars in the sky up above you. It’s not a kiss with any caution. It’s not hasty or secretive. It’s familiar, safe, and it’s able to finally be unreserved.   

It’s a kiss that the pair of you have been craving. One that doesn’t taste of tequila, that doesn’t have to be hidden from view, and one that doesn’t have the looming dread of immediate departure attached to it. It’s a slow deep kiss, that feels like home, and you’re quite content to drown yourself in it.  

“Where’s Em?” Alexia asks, and she really has ruined the moment.   

She seems unaware, as her lips are still moving against yours, but you freeze, breaking the kiss at her twisted choice of topic.  

“Woww?” You drag out, pulling back from her with a frown. “Mentioning my sister is a real mood-killer I do hope you realise!”  

“I’m sorry!” She giggles, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth.   

“You’re supposed to have come over here for me, not her!”  

“I did come over for you!” She tells you, rolling her eyes at your dramatics. “I just meant ..you’re here on your own.”  

“Mm. She left me.”  

“Why?”  

“She met a girl, while we were watching you play,” you explain, “they’ve gone back to hers already.”  

“Oh?” She questions, her eyes sparkling as she arches an eyebrow at you. “To play cards?”  

“Yeah,” you chuckle, “I think so.”  

She links her arms back over your shoulders, leaning in very close. “So ..you’re without company tonight?” She checks, her lips ghosting yours, and your heart starts racing again at the suggestive tone to her voice.   

“Mhmm. That’s quite sad, isn’t it? When I’m on holiday?”  

“That’s very sad.” She agrees, tracing your jawline with her index finger.  

It’s hard not to have a physical reaction to the way that she’s always touching you, and you swallow down as she angles your face to draw her mouth even closer to you, your breath catching in your throat as her lips brush against yours.  

“Are you short on company tonight?” You whisper, rather shakily.  

“Mhmm.”  

“Oof. That might be even sadder.” You point out, and she nods in agreement with a small pout, before finally succumbing to another long kiss.  

You breakaway, entirely short on breath, and she smiles as the obvious effect she’s just had on you as you try to come to your senses. “Do you ..not want to celebrate with your teammates?”  

“Not really.” She tells you, her pupils dilating as her eyes roam over your body.  

“Would you ..maybe, want to do something with me, then?” 

“Are you asking me on a date?” She asks, her cocky little smile curving her lips, and you chuckle despite yourself.   

“I really think I might be. You admit. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me!” You tell her, shaking your head with a smile. “I’d never looked at another woman before, never cared about a football result. Never asked someone out on a date.”  

“Mm? And now look at you.” She says, cradling your face as she searches your eyes. “Does it scare you?” She asks, stroking her thumb over your cheek, and you pause for a beat in consideration.  

“A little,” you confess, “but never when I’m with you.”  

Your candour earns you another kiss. Whether she’s fully aware of the power her lips have on calming your nerves, or she just fancied kissing you, you don’t really know, and you don’t really care. You welcome it the same way you’ve welcomed every other kiss from her, and the same way you’ll continue to welcome any future kisses from her, should you be so lucky.  

“Were you going to leave me?” Alexia asks after a moment, tapping at the sweatshirt again with a horrible look of uncertainty in her eyes.  

“I really don’t know.” You tell her honestly, and worry creases her brow, as you let out a breath. “I don’t think I’d have got very far,” you admit, “but it’s just ..been a lot to take in.”  

There’s a familiar look of understanding from her. It’s the exact same look she had given you when you’d stayed still in the hotel elevator, as she had made her exit. It’s a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, that barely curves her lips. It’s a look of acceptance, resignation, and it’s a heartbreaking sight to see.   

“I don’t want to leave you.” You clarify. “I don’t really know ..what this is, between us, but I know how I feel about you, and I don’t want to run from it. I just know ..that you can probably do better.”  

You bop your own hand gently on the barrier in a fist, and she narrows her eyes at you. “What do you mean by that?” She asks, and you nibble at the inside of your mouth.   

“I freaked out ..when you went down. It got to me outside, seeing your name everywhere. I couldn’t ..really tell you what my sexuality is, at this point.” You take a breath, still knocking your fist awkwardly on the railing. “There’ll be so many other women, more sure of themselves, more ..prepared, and ready to embrace everything.” You explain, closing your eyes to stop them from stinging. “They won’t need to study your team before you play, they won’t go into a panic every time another player gets a little too close to you. They’ll be just as desperate to be with you, and they’ll be bett—”  

You’re cut off from your little ramble, with what you’re assuming was a kiss.  

Your eyes are closed, and it was unbelievably quick. You’d be forgiven for thinking you’d imagined it completely; it was really quite so fleeting. If the fireworks that Alexia’s set off on your lips weren’t quite so familiar to you, you might have thought it was a bee that had stung you. She’s really gone and left you all lightheaded with little more than a peck.  

“You kissed me!” You tell her breathlessly, as though she wasn’t the one to do it to you.  

“Mhmm. Imagine that.” She says, as she lets her eyes roam over your face with a small smile. “You studied the team?”  

“I know, I’m sorry.” You cringe. “I just didn’t want to not know who you played with. I mean, I didn’t even know who you were yesterday, what chance would I have had with any—”  

She kisses you again, the exact same way, leaving you with the exact same reaction.  

“You kissed me!” You repeat, and she chuckles at you, nodding her head.  

“Mhmm. You’re on vacation,” she reminds you, “and you spent the day studying my team?”  

“Mm.”  

“And you worried about me getting hurt?” 

“Mm.” 

“And you’re so desperately into me, that I’ve got you questioning your sexuality?” She winks.  

“I mean..” you chuckle softly, rolling your eyes, “..maybe.” 

“And you really think, that any of that ..would make me like you less?” She asks, narrowing her eyes with that familiar smirk.  

“Well ..sort of.” You admit. “I mean ..the studying. Most people wouldn’t need to do that.”  

“You didn’t need to do that.” She points out.  

“Mm ..no, I really think I did.” You chuckle. “I didn’t know anything about football this morning, you can ask Em.” 

“You don’t care about football.” She reminds you. 

“Maybe not ..but I care a little bit about you. I just knew it was important to you, I didn’t want to be completely clueless about it.” 

Alexia shakes her head at you lightly, before kissing you again. It’s not so quick this time, so you don’t need to be as embarrassed about her still leaving you lightheaded and short on breath.  

“You kissed me!” You repeat, a childish grin taking over your face, and she rests her forehead to your shoulder, chuckling at your excited little reaction. “So, you do still like me the same?” You double-check and she lifts her gaze to meet your eyes.  

She cradles your head in her hand, shaking her own lightly back at you as she rubs her thumb over your cheek. “I think I might like you even more.” She tells you. “I wasn’t really sure that would be possible after yesterday.”  

“Really?” 

“Mhmm.”  

“Well ..what else are you into? I can study anything.”  

She giggles at your eagerness before kissing you again. “I’m very into you.” She says, and your eyes light up in front of her.  

“That’s so unbelievably lucky, I know almost everything about her already!”  

“Yeah? Then maybe we’re perfect for each other.” She tells you, with a distinct conviction in her voice that sends that special little thrill running right through your body as she pulls you in for another kiss. 

 

“So ..is that a ‘yes’?” You ask. “To maybe going on a date with me? It’s a bit late now, I know, but we still have tomorrow.” You suggest, beginning to stumble over your words. “I know it’s probably not the smoothest way you’ve ever been asked out. I’m new to this. I’m not very good, but I’ll work on it. I’ll get better.” 

“I think you’re already better than you think you are.” She tells you softly, resting her forehead to yours. “I’d love to go on a date with you.” 

“Even though my head’s a mess and I’m still figuring things out?” 

“Mhmm.” She giggles, gently rolling her bottom lip under her teeth. “I’ll help you figure things out. We’ll work it all out together.” She offers.  

“That could be a lot of work.” 

“I know, and I really think you might be worth it.” She tells you, giving you another gentle kiss. “I’m sorry all of this got to you. I should have told you about it yesterday, but ..I didn’t want to scare you off.” She explains. “I know it can be a lot, I don’t love every part of it..” 

“It’s okay, I don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for it, really. I knew you’d have a lot of fans ..it was just seeing them all. Like this ..Alexia army.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Please don’t be. You have nothing to apologise for.” You reassure her. “Not unless all those other buggers also got their shirts from you?” 

“No,” she chuckles, running her fingers up the front of the fabric on your body, “you’re the only one.” 

“I should probably feel quite special, then.” You wink. “People would kill to be wearing this.” 

“Mhmm. You are special.” She tells you, her fingers trailing the neckline of your shirt. She pulls you back into her, her lips feathering yours. “You’re in my top three for a reason.” 

The barrier’s proving to be a little bit of a pest to the pair of you, what with it being such a hindrance to all of your kissing. After receiving confirmation from Alexia, that no one would attack you for joining her on the grass, you throw her sweatshirt on over your head, and quickly negotiate the railing to be with her. 

It might be your favourite place to be, just melting into her arms as she holds you against her. Even though she’s still a little bit gross from running around for so long, you wouldn’t really swap it for anything.  

Your eyes flick around the stadium as you look over her shoulder. There’s a faded majesty to the arena when it’s empty like this. You’re the only ones still out here and the beauty of the place isn’t lost on you, as you get to share it with Alexia. It feels more special without thousands of other strangers crammed in here with you, it’s like a secret discovery you’ve both stumbled upon. A vast abandoned colosseum, existing just for you two.  

“Does it not freak you out, playing in a place like this?” You ask her. 

“Not really.” She tells you, rather casually, joining you in staring up at the stands.  

“There’s so many eyes watching you.” 

“Mm. You sort of just block it all out.” She says. “You can hear everything, all the chanting and singing, but you don’t really pay too much attention to it. Not until you score, and then again at the end of the game. It isn’t really scary at that point, though. Then it’s just thousands of other people celebrating with you.” 

“You’re quite amazing,” you realise, gently nudging into her, “I think I’d shit myself.” 

She giggles at your blunt confession, intertwining her hand with yours. “I’d probably freak out if I did that in front of everyone.” She admits, kissing your fingers. “That’d be quite hard to live down.” 

“Do you not get nervous at all?” 

“No.” She tells you, simply. “I’ve worked hard for this. I trust myself; I trust the team. Us playing in stadiums like this, in front of crowds like that, it’s what we deserve. It’s what we’ve been doing it all for.” She drops her head momentarily, taking in a breath. “I wasn’t too sure I’d get the chance to play again at all, after..” she gestures loosely down to her leg and stands a little taller as her grip on your hand tightens, “I don’t take it for granted, that I’m able to be here. It’s where I’ve always wanted to be. I’m not going to waste time being scared of it.” 

There’s a different air of confidence to her on the pitch as you watch her. It’s not the same playful cockiness that she so often uses with you. It’s not arrogance, she isn’t being smug. She’s just proud of herself, the journey that she’s been on. She’s proud of where she is, she’s proud of her teammates and she really has every bloody right to be.  

“Are you okay?” She asks, her brow crinkling lightly as she looks to you. “You’re staring.” 

“Sorry. You’re just ..very beautiful.” You shrug, and you can see a small flush of colour settle over her cheeks as she smiles before quickly averting her eyes.  

“You haven’t told me what it is that you do for a living.” She reminds you, shirking the focus away from her as she walks backwards a little ahead of you, pulling you along with her. “We had an agreement.” She reminds you.  

“I think it’s far less exciting than your big reveal.” You warn her. “I’m just in finance ..banking.”  

You offer it with a tone of apology to your voice, which she certainly picks up on as she smiles at you and takes your other hand in hers. “That’s very impressive.” She assures you and a blush spreads across your own cheeks as she interlaces her fingers with yours. “You’re quite clever?”  

“I’m not too bad with numbers.” You chuckle.  

“Do you enjoy it?” She asks, and you nod your head.  

“That must seem ridiculous to you.” 

“Not at all. Are you good at it?” 

“Oof ..I’m not awful.” You smile. “I’ve actually been named ‘Employee of the Year’ on more than two separate occasions.” 

“Have you really?” She giggles.  

“Mhmm. That’s the same as those balloon awards of yours, right?” 

“Mhmm. Yes. Yeah ..I think that’s the exact same thing.” 

She really must like you if she’s willing to lie like that. There is slight tone of sarcasm to her voice, and rightly so. Your sister’s explained to you what a Ballon d’Or is, and Alexia being presented with it, for two years on the trot, is no mean feat. She’s been recognised for being the undisputed best at her profession, globally. You’ve received ‘Employee of the Year’ bonuses because your boss is a filthy pervert with a crush on you. These are not the same things at all.  

It’s very sweet of her to downplay her achievements for you and there’s something about her lack of arrogance with her career that’s very intriguing. She almost minimises her own importance, ignores the significance, and the impact that she’s had on the sport. It’s really just a regular job to her. She’s ‘just’ a footballer.  

She takes genuine pride in it, but she’s not gloating at all, she’s not bragging. Without her fans around her, you really wouldn’t know how big of a sensation she actually is. The fame and accolades really aren’t what she’s done any of this for. She just loves playing the game.  

“You’re staring again.” She points out, kissing your forehead.  

“You’re ..still very beautiful.” You tell her, offering up another shrug in lieu of any better explanation for your continual admiration of her.  

She places a kiss to the back of your hand, and her eyes twinkle over it as she meets your gaze. “We should get out of here.” She tells you. “I need to have a shower, but then we can go.” 

“Do you want me to wait here?” You offer, and she frowns at you in confusion. “So that you don’t have to introduce me to anyone.” You explain, and she giggles, shaking her head.  

“A few of them would probably recognise you.” She says, and a hot flush of embarrassment spreads right through your body.   

“Shit! For being drunk and angry?” 

“Mhmm! And straight.” She reminds you with a wink. “I think they quite like you, don’t worry. Mapi’s definitely a fan already.” 

A small groan falls from your mouth as you remember your rather unfortunate behaviour from that night, and it’s hard not cringe at yourself. It’s amazing you made such a good impression on Alexia, all things considered, but it’s a bit embarrassing to realise there was more than one world-class footballer watching your drunken antics.  

“I’ll have to stay out here.” You grimace. “That’s horrific!” 

“They’re probably already gone!” She giggles. “We’ve been out here for a while.” She places another kiss to your forehead, before walking backwards towards the tunnel holding her hand out for you to join her. “Are you coming?” 

You nod your head at her but make no real effort to move from where you are. “I never thanked you.” You call out to her, and she stills herself, tilting her head.  

“For what?” She chuckles, narrowing her eyes.  

“For saving me that night. From that old man ..I really don’t know where I’d be now if you hadn’t.” 

A grin splits her face, and she doesn’t miss a beat. “Therapy, probably!” She says, and her laugh echoes in the air around you.  

You quickly pull her sweatshirt back up to hide your face under it, shaking your head in shame, because she’s almost certainly right. It would have taken you a very long time to recover from waking up next to him the following morning. You definitely wouldn’t have been going for seconds, thirds and fourths with him all night. He’d have had a heart attack trying to compete with Alexia’s stamina.  

“He was so gross.” She reminds you, pulling the sweatshirt down as she returns to you. “You were very drunk.” 

She pushes the loose hairs back from over your face, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips as she cups your face.  

“I don’t remember you helping me with that.” You point out. “I had more drinks with you than anyone else.” 

“Mm ..I quite liked being inappropriate with you. You were very daring,” she recollects, kissing you again, with her cocky little smile, “you’d already licked most of me before we even left the club!” 

“You started it!” You remind her, and she giggles in front of you.  

“Well, if that was a competition we were having, I think you certainly won!” She admits. “I’m sure abuelo would have enjoyed drinking with you just as much.” 

“Oof. Please don’t.” You mutter, suppressing a gag. “I think I’d have slapped him if he’d tried licking me.” 

Alexia laughs again, lifting your hand to her lips, to place a kiss to the back of it, and she winks at you, before she licks all down it with her tongue.   

“You’re such a child!” You giggle, wiping your hand against your shirt, and she winks at you again. “You could’ve been here with that girl from the toilets.” You point out. “At least she was very pretty.” 

“I know.” She sighs wistfully. “It’s a shame someone stole me from her.” 

“Mmm ..okay.” You mutter, rolling your eyes.  

She shakes her head with a small smirk, taking your hand and pulling you into her before wrapping her arms around your waist. “I’m glad I’m here with you.” She tells you, lightly bumping her nose to yours. “Bit scary of you, though. Following me all the way out here!” 

“I didn’t follow you!” You tell her, removing yourself from her hold. “I barely even remembered you existed before you draped your arm over me in that café.” 

“You’re a terrible liar.” She scoffs. “You even followed us into that toilet.” 

“No, I didn’t!” You chuckle, crossing your arms in front of you as you smile up at her. “You followed me, though. Couldn’t keep you away!” 

“Mm ..maybe I really should’ve stayed with her instead.” 

“Okaay, that’s enough of that. She’s gone now, you missed your chance with her!" 

“Are you still jealous?” She winks, running her hands down your sides before slinking them back around your waist.  

“I wasn’t jealous. She was just ..all over you. In the toilet, of all places! It was very gross of you both, very unsanitary.” 

“Is that why you wanted to interrupt us?” She smirks, tilting her head very close to yours. “Bumped into me to stop me from catching germs? You’re very cute.” 

“That was an accident.” 

“You’re a terrible liar!” She laughs.  

“You were winding me up! Kissing someone else, what were you playing at?” 

“You went to go kiss men!” She points out.  

“I didn’t kiss any of them, though.” 

“It’s not my fault you were unsuccessful!” 

“I wasn’t unsuccessful!” You giggle, pushing her away from you. “I didn’t want to kiss any of them. I had one person on my mind that night, and I was actually very successful in getting her to kiss me ..eventually.” 

“I was on your mind?” She asks, bouncing her eyebrows as she rests her hands on your hips.  

“You’re so annoying, always so cocky.” You roll your eyes, linking your hands behind her neck before pulling her down to kiss you. “Yes. You were on my mind.” You admit, collapsing your head to her chest. “You’re always on my mind. You’re like a bloody broken record in here.” 

She kisses the top of your head, wrapping her arms around your shoulders. “You’re always on my mind too.” She whispers. “I don’t think I’ve really stopped thinking about you at all since I first saw you in that club.” 

“When you shoved that bloody lime in my face?” You mumble against her.  

“I didn’t shove a lime in your face!” She laughs. “I held it for you, I was being helpful.” 

“Mm ..well, then I owe you two lots of thanks.” You realise, lifting your head to meet her eyes. “One for your ..handy little lime assistance, and one for saving me from that ancient creeper. I am genuinely grateful for the second one.” 

“You don’t need to thank me for either of them.” She tells you. “I was being selfish really.” 

It’s difficult to know just how much time you both managed to kill outside, but the dressing room’s completely empty by the time you two make your way through to it. You sit, patting your hands against your thighs, as Alexia goes for her shower, and you try to keep yourself entertained without her.  

There’s a lot of things for you to look at in the room, lots to take in. There’s a history to the stadium, which should be interesting to have a backstage pass to. It’s a privilege, being in here. Legends have roamed these halls, sporting greats from decades past. It’s very exciting for you to be granted access to it, and yet, none of it’s at all fascinating to you when you know there’s a wet, naked lady in the other room.  

You continue drumming out your frustrations as you try to stop yourself from thinking of Alexia in the shower.  

All on her own. In the shower.   

Alone.  

Showering.  

You really just can’t help yourself.  

She doesn’t take too long to return to you and a loud gasp falls from your lips when she re-emerges.  

“¿Qué?” She winks, and the blush doesn’t even have the courtesy of creeping up on you, you’re just immediately bright red.  

“You’re naked.” You inform her, very quietly, in case she hadn’t already realised. 

“Mhmm.” 

“Wow..” You breathe, gritting your teeth as you try to remain calm.

“Oh? That’s so funny. I seem to remember that being the exact same reaction to the one you had last time!” 

“Heh heh heh!” You draw out slowly, rolling your eyes at her unremitting need to be cocky.  

She leans against the wall in front of you, and it really isn’t very easy to maintain eye contact with her when her body’s on full display in front of you. It doesn’t feel like she’s particularly bothered about your wandering eyes, which is really rather lucky, because you’re not exactly doing it with any level of subtlety.  

This isn’t really helping in keeping all of the dirty thoughts that you’ve been having about her at bay. You’re also going to split your lip open if you keep biting down on it as hard as you are. 

She moves towards you steadily, and your heart starts beating in double time. “You’re staring.” She tells you, yet again, and you nod at her very astute observation skills.  

“You ..are ridiculously beautiful.” You point out, struggling to keep your composure as she steps within reaching distance. “You’re also very dry.” You realise with a frown, trapping your hands under your legs. “You’re supposed to be having a shower so that we can get the hell out of here!” 

“Mm.” She hums, hooking a finger under your chin and tilting your head up to face her. “I was wondering if you might want to keep me company?” She says, and you have to gasp again at her very friendly little suggestion.  

“In the shower with you? While you’re naked?” You grin, and she chuckles, nodding her head.  

“Mhmm. I was hoping you might want to get naked too.” 

“Oof. What an incredibly tempting offer.” You admit, bobbing your legs as you wet your lips. “I just need a few minutes to really think about it.” 

“Mm?” She shakes her head and folds her arms. “You have two seconds before I’m revoking.” 

“Two seconds? Do you see what I mean about you being cocky and annoying? You think I fancy you that badly? That I’m that desperate and needy that I’ll just cave as soon as you—” 

“Uno.” 

“I’m in!” You exclaim, jumping to your feet with embarrassing haste. “I’m in I’m in I’m in I’m in I’m in!” You continue mumbling against her lips to make sure that she doesn’t start her unnecessary counting again.  

You make very light work of pulling both layers off over your head in one swift motion, and Alexia looks rather impressed with your efficiency as she drags her thumb down the middle of your torso. She bites her lip with her eyebrow arching slightly, as she takes you in, and you do feel a little bit proud of yourself.  

“I’ve been going to the gym a lot.” You tell her, tensing slightly to show off your progress.  

“I can tell.” She says, running her thumb back up your stomach.  

“Really?” You grin, trying to ignore the goosebumps that have spread over your skin from her touch. “I slept with this girl whose body made me drool.” You admit, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Felt like I was letting the side down a bit, so.” 

“I think you’re beautiful naked.” She tells you, and your heart skips a beat as her eyes darken over you.  

“That’s very crazy! That’s the same thing that she kept saying!” 

“Mm?” She loops a finger through your belt buckle, drawing you in closer to her.  

“It does turn out that she’s a professional athlete, though. So, I might have to just settle for being second best.” 

She chuckles at you, shaking her head. “All this ..is for her benefit?” She asks, leaning into you.  

“Mm. Well ..I wasn’t really sure I’d ever find her again,” you admit, letting out a very cautious exhale, “..but no one else has seen me..”

 

It’s a pointed confession from you, carrying a lot of added weight to it. Neither of you owe each other any loyalty from that night and you’d have no real right to be hurt, if she has explored other options. It’s not a test from you, you know it wouldn’t really change things, you did give it a try yourself, to be with someone else.  

It didn’t feel right to you, when it wasn’t with her, you could barely even flirt with another person, but you can’t really have any negative reaction, if Alexia hasn’t had that same struggle. There’s a morbid curiosity in you, perhaps, given the direction your previous relationship went in, and you can only hope, that she will treat your heart more gently than he did.  

She doesn’t know, that you were cheated on, she wouldn’t know, what her own admission would mean to you. You’re offering yourself up unprotected, to a woman who isn’t aware of the bomb she could be setting off inside your chest. It’s a silent plea from you, that this really has been as all-consuming to her, as it has been to you, and it’s very a big ask of someone, who you’ve only met thrice.  

Her eyes pierce through to your soul, as she studies you, and it’s excruciating, waiting for her to give you something. There’s a clear caution in her, of what she’s about to tell you, and you’re not certain if it’s guilt, or sympathy, or something else entirely.  

“Really?” She asks, and her voice is hoarse, as her eyes narrow at you. You can’t trust yourself with words right now, so you only offer her a silent nod, and there’s a glimmer in her eyes at your promise. She’s tentative, and nervous, and the mystery that once shielded her eyes when you first looked into them, is slowly dissolving in front of you. It isn’t guilt or sympathy that she’s feeling, she’s scared of letting you in.  

It’s not unreasonable for her to have her own concerns, regarding you. You were incredibly pig-headed, about being straight, the night that you first met. You told her your relationship had ended only recently, and then you jumped straight into bed with her.  

She can be certain that you’re attracted to her, you haven’t hidden that very well, but she has no real reason to assume that she isn’t a rebound, or a little sexuality test for you. You’re not the only one putting yourself in a vulnerable position here, she also stands to get hurt from this.  

There’s the slightest hint of a smile on her face, as she accepts that you’re telling her the truth. The subtle confession, that the girl who was so relentlessly hunting for some random male company the night that Alexia first met her, hasn’t been on that same hunt since, clearly means as much to her, as a similar confession would mean to you.  

“I haven’t been with anyone else either.” She tells you, and it breathes life back into your lungs.  

You catch her entirely off guard as you press your lips against hers, but she’s very quick to catch up with you. There’s a distinct desperation in the kiss this time, a fervent hunger. An intense desire to make known how much she means to you, to show her that the small question mark that you have over your sexuality, doesn’t extend to any questions about her. You’re in no doubt of your feelings, you’re very certain of what you want.  

Actions speak louder than words, clearly, and you’re definitely not leaving anything up to speculation. The passion in you continues to build and it’s Alexia who’s left breathless, when you finally pull away. You’ve rendered her speechless, and she blinks hard a few times as she lifts her fingers to her lips, before collecting herself again.  

You’re sporting her smirk as she looks back at you, and she rolls her eyes with a shy smile. “Are you getting naked, or what?” She asks impatiently, and a laugh rings out from inside of you.  

“Oof. I love when you’re romantic with me, baby.” 

This might actually be your favourite place to be. Not the random shower stalls, they’re not particularly important to the rush that’s shooting through you. It’s entirely down to the wet and naked company that you have in here.  

Reacquainting yourself with the curves and the ridges of her body, having her pressed up against you as her hands explore yours. It’s exciting just being back with her, your body’s on fire under her touch, your soul’s been reawakened, and none of the scenarios you kept playing through in your head, could ever really compare to having the real thing in front of you again.  

“Is your leg still sore?” You ask, placing kisses along Alexia’s jawline as she leans her back against the tiles.  

“I’ve already told you, that it’s fi—“ 

“Because I was thinking,” you interrupt, cutting her off with a kiss to her lips, “we should probably take some precautions.” You suggest, and her eyes narrow as she smiles slyly at you. “We wouldn’t want to aggravate it..” 

“Mm.” She nods, trapping her tongue between her teeth. “Are you offering to get down on your knees for me?” She asks you knowingly, tangling her fingers in your hair.  

“Mhmm ..for the good of the team.” You offer, feigning herosim as you kiss along her chest. “For football.” 

“Mm ..well, I did score the winning goal.” She reminds you.  

“Well, exactly, and that deserves to be celebrated.” 

She chuckles, as she pulls you back into her by your neck, catching you a little off guard as her tongue re-enters your mouth. “I really have missed you.” She murmurs against your lips.  

“Mm but like ..as a person,” you check, pulling back slightly, “not just my bloody tongue?” You pout softly up at her as she giggles with a nod. “Because I’m quite nice company for you to have around ..I’m very cute and funny.” 

“You’re adorable and hilarious.” She agrees, running a finger up the middle of your torso. It sends goosebumps all along your body again, which she’s acutely aware of as that smirk is very much back on her face.  

“But in like a sexy way.” You tell her, trying to ignore the heat she’s sent through you, and she continues to nod her head as she bites her lip. “Like a ..'I should take that girl home with me and do dirty things to her' kind of way."

“Is that what you’d like me to do to you?” She asks, with her eyebrow arching.  

“After our shower ..yes please.” 

“Okay.” She promises, tangling her fingers even further as she kisses you. “Then drop to your knees.” She instructs you, and much like a loyal little soldier, you’re very quick to do as you’re told.  

She’s never really been quite so assertive with you, and a mild moan escapes you from it, as you traverse down her body, leaving a trail of kisses as you make your descent. She tightens her grip on you as she tilts your head to look back up at her, sending a dull pleasure running through you, before she guides you to the place where she’s wanting you most.  

It ends up being one of the longest showers of your life, and you’re lucky to be leaving the stadium together before you both get locked inside of it.  

Discussion turns to sleeping arrangements as you walk the length of the parking lot. Neither of you have any intentions of going home without the other, despite the lateness of the hour, and it feels like there’s an obvious choice for where you’ll end up staying. The hotel isn’t the best place for you tonight. The receptionist would undoubtedly recognise the company you’re keeping, and despite Em being out for the night, she isn’t exactly known for hanging around with her lady-friends the morning after.  

You don’t really want to have to kick Alexia out super early, and Em catching the pair of you tangled up in bed together when she gets back, also doesn’t sound ideal.  

“Are you scared of dogs?” Alexia asks as she opens her car door for you.  

“No..” 

“Then we’ll go back to mine.” 

“You told me Nala was a Pomeranian?” 

“She is.” 

“Well ..then even if I was scared of dogs, I probably wouldn’t be afraid of her.” You giggle, placing a kiss to her temple before getting into your seat.  

“I was just checking.” She tells you as she joins you in the car.  

“Is she unfriendly?” 

“No, she is a very good judge of character, though.” She warns, with a smile that’s mildly disconcerting.  

“Oh ..so it’s a red flag if she takes a disliking to me?” 

“Mhmm. I’d have to kick you out!” 

It doesn’t feel like a fully-fledged threat from her, but there is a tone to her voice, that tells you she’s not completely joking either.

She starts up her car and rests her hand on your leg as she sets off from the stadium. Her fingers trace circles on the inside of your thigh and you have to link her hand with yours as she starts trailing up, to stop her from doing too much when the goosebumps quickly form along your skin. 

“I’m sorry,” she offers, “you don’t like it?” 

“I might like it a bit too much.” You chuckle, placing a kiss to the back of her hand, before placing it back in your lap.  

It’s hard to stop your eyes from drooping a little in the car, you really are very exhausted. You rest your head against your seatbelt and dig the nails of your free hand into your leg to try and stop you from falling asleep. You have limited time with Alexia as it is, and you don’t want to miss out on any precious minutes.  

There’s something unfortunately hypnotic about the glow from the streetlamps above you, though, which isn’t super helpful with your plight. The light pulses through the windows as Alexia drives, and you give your head a shake when you find your eyelids getting too heavy.  

“Are you okay?” She asks, a little alarmed at your sudden spasm.  

“Mhmm.” You mumble, stifling a yawn. “I really need you to keep talking to me, please. I don’t want to fall asleep.” 

“What do you want to talk about?” 

“Anything.” 

She stares out at the road in front of her, losing herself in thought for a moment. She raises your hand to her lips to place a lingering kiss to your fingers, and she bops her other hand on the steering wheel.  

“I asked after your initial.” She tells you whimsically, and your face scrunches, not at all following what she means.  

It was a very weird thing for her to say to you, it’s not entirely down to your sleepiness that you didn’t understand.  

“Sorry?” You ask, and her grip on your hand tightens. 

“I was back in London last week ..I went back to that club.” She reveals, and your heart misses a beat as she speaks. “I was hoping, maybe you’d be in there again ..looking for a man.” She rolls her eyes and drums her fingers over the wheel. “I was worried ..that you might have already found one, when you weren’t there.” You place another kiss to the back of her hand, and her fingers twitch as they link through yours. “I think we made a big impression on that bartender.” She giggles.   

“Bless him. We really did put on quite the show.” 

“Mhmm! He was there again, when I went. I asked him about you, and he said he definitely remembered us, but he told me he really had no idea who you were.” A sigh escapes her lips, and she taps at the steering wheel again. “I couldn’t stay in there for very long.” She admits. “It gave me a headache. It was bad enough being in the same hotel. I did have a roommate this time, so ..we really did end up playing cards together, but ..I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Knowing you had to be near, but I’d never be able to find you.” 

“I could’ve gone to that game.” You tell her thoughtfully. You stroke your thumb along the side of her index finger and clench your jaw. “Em invited me, and I told her to bore off.” You explain. “If I’d have had any idea ..I’d have been front row for you. I hate that we missed out on time together.” 

“We’re together now.” She points out quickly.  

“Only until tomorrow night ..then we’re right back where we started.” 

“Not really.” She assures you, giving your hand a squeeze. “We know who we are now. We know where we are, we’ll swap numbers.” 

“And we’ll what, make a proper go of it? With all of these miles between us?” 

Her jaw tightens slightly as she continues staring out in front of her. “If you also want to.” She says softly.  

“I’ve never really loved the idea of doing long-distance.” 

“You don’t think it works?” She asks you, and her voice cracks slightly.  

“I know that it can. It’s just ..not ideal.” You sigh.  

“You’d miss me too much?” She smirks, and you shake your head with a small smile.  

“Maybe.” You admit. “Why’d you have to be bloody Spanish?” 

“You’d prefer me to come from London?” 

“Yes! I mean ..you wouldn’t sound as lovely, but at least you’d be local.” You point out. “It’d be far easier.” 

“Mm.” She mumbles. “Well ..you could have been from Barcelona, that would’ve been helpful.” She pulls the car up outside of her home, and you stare out at it through the window. “Come on.” She tells you, patting your thigh as she opens her door. “We won’t have to worry about any of this if Nala doesn’t like you!” 

Alexia greets you at your side of the car and takes your hand as she leads you to the door. “¡Buena suerte!” She whispers, and you’re not 100% sure what it means, as she gives you a very dramatic look of dread before she pushes through the entrance. 

It feels like she’s really trying to worry you, but it would be very harsh to send you back to your hotel with your tail between your legs because her dog’s barked at a stranger. You’re not exactly Dr Dolittle but are you a fan of animals, and you’d be quite upset yourself if Nala didn’t take a liking to you.  

You’re attacked, as soon as you step through the door. It’s not an uncontrolled ravaging that you receive, Nala certainly isn’t rabid. It’s a very excitable licking that you’re greeted with, it would seem that dogs really are like their owners. It really isn’t the big and scary personality test that Alexia likes to pretend it is at all, but she might have already known it wasn’t going to be a dealbreaker when she pushed you into the house with this vicious scary animal before her.  

“Well, shit.” She sighs, looking down at you as you play with her dog on the floor, and the rare expletive from her mouth rings very cutely in your ears.  

“What?” You giggle, craning your neck to meet her gaze.  

“Now we might have to worry about it.” 

You lift Nala into your arms and rise to your feet. A toothy smile spreads across your face as you move towards Alexia, and there’s a lot of affection for you being carried in her eyes.  

“She quite likes me.” You point out, and Alexia nods her head, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth. “And she doesn’t even know what I’m saying to her.” You place a kiss to the top of Nala’s head. “You might have to teach me some Spanish ..so we can have a proper conversation.” You tell her, bobbing Nala in your arms as you bury your face in her fur. “It’d make my trips out here a bit easier too.” 

Alexia’s eyes widen slightly at your casual words of intent, and she beams at you as you give her dog another kiss. “You do want to give us a go?” She asks.  

“Mhmm. I think I’d be crazy not to.” 

“It could be a lot of work.” She tells you, and you nod, smiling up her. 

“I know ..and I really think you might be worth it.” 

A full smile takes over her face as she quickly takes Nala from your arms and places her back down on the floor, before giving you a quick kiss. She pulls you through with her to let Nala do her business outside, and something shiny on the wall draws your eye. 

“These are all your trophies?”  

“..Some of them.” 

“Blimey!” You chuckle, as you move closer to them all. You keep a small distance, crossing your arms to make sure you don’t accidentally knock anything, and you study one, in particular, that’s caught your attention. “You made my sister cry, when you got this one.” You tell her, pointing to her World Cup medal. “I thought something terrible had happened when she rang me.” 

“I’ll have to apologise to her," she winks, “when we meet.” 

“Mm. You’ll have to apologise for today’s match, too.” You point out with a grin. “You’ve ruined her life a few times, I think.” 

Nala makes her way back inside, brushing against your legs as she scurries off to who knows where, and a finger tapping at your shoulder, distracts you from your perusal of Alexia’s trophy cabinet. She smiles as you turn to face her, and she runs her finger down your nose before giving you a quick kiss. 

“Oh my god!” Escapes your lips in a breathy giggle as Alexia lifts you into her arms and you wrap your legs around her waist. “Hi.” 

“Hi!”  

It’s a passionate kiss that she gives you, and any sense of tiredness that was taking over your body a few minutes ago, is very quickly forgotten as you lose yourself in her.

“I can walk.” You remind her, as she carries you towards her bedroom. 

“I don’t care.” 

You’re almost winded when your back hits the mattress, as she flings you onto it, a little carelessly. You’d probably be more stroppy about it, if she didn’t pull her shirt off before joining you on the bed. She didn’t bother putting a bra on after your shower and you’re very easily distracted.  

It is her actual eyes you find yourself fascinated by this time, though. They really are very beautiful, and there’s far less mystery lingering in them now. It’s tenderness you see in them as she looks over you, silent intimacy, devotion, and the idea of eyes being the window to the soul has never seemed more true to you.  

There’s an honesty in her eyes that far exceeds any words she could ever say to you, but you’re fairly sure you know what she’s thinking. You’re almost certain, in fact, and you feel compelled to confess something to her yourself. 

“You. are. staring. again.” She tells you, punctuating each word with an increasingly deeper kiss.  

“Mhmm.” You concede, and your hands rest on her hips as she smiles down at you. You swallow down carefully as your eyes meet hers, and your heart skips a few more beats. “I really think ..that I might be falling for you.” You profess, and her pupils dilate as she smiles down at you. “Is that ridiculous? To fall for someone so quickly?” 

“I don’t think so.” She says, her brow furrowing slightly. “Sometimes you just know.” 

“Would it be okay ..if I did start falling?” 

“Mhmm.” She runs her finger under your chin, rubbing her thumb over your bottom lip, before leaning herself down over you. “I’m falling for you, too.” She tells you, before pulling you into her by your neck.  

It’s different, from the sex you’ve had with other people before, being with Alexia. It never seems to be quick, and it doesn’t feel one-sided. You’re not left wanting after it, it isn’t unfulfilling. There's a continual desperate desire in you, to have her be with you, and to make sure that she’s also feeling good. It’s not a chore, and it isn’t something that she’s demanding from you.  

There’s passion between you, affection, and it’s an equal offering from you both. It’s exciting, it’s fun, and it puts all your past experiences to shame. There’s an innocence in your enjoyment of each other, it really isn’t just a physical act between the two of you. It’s a bearing of your soul to each other, every time, and it’s no wonder at all, that you’re falling as quickly as you are. 

There’s far more confidence in you now. You’re not having to follow Alexia’s lead quite so much. You know her body, what she likes you doing to it, and you savour every second of having her back under you. Every whimper and moan that you’re able to coax from her, how she feels around you, the taste of her on your tongue. Having her able to cry out your actual name this evening, has also set your soul on fire. Hearing it echo around in the showers, having her moan it like a quiet secret into your ear, as she grips at the sheets beneath her. 

Alexia does have you entirely at her mercy when she chooses to take back control, and whether she really did appreciate you being so selfless by caring about her injury in the shower, or the fact that Nala took to you quite so quickly, you can’t be certain, but you’ve definitely done something to have her wanting to treat you extra nicely, before you remind her that she doesn’t need to be quite so gentle with you.  

This isn’t your first time; you’re very much wanting her to have her wicked way with you. 

It satisfies the burning inside of you, completely, satiating your hunger, and happily leaving you a little worn out after everything. She’s in a similar state of exhaustion, panting when she collapses back down onto you. So, you can probably give yourself a little pat on the back for your own efforts with her.  

“Are you okay?” She checks with you, as you try to steady your breathing. She places a kiss to your neck in such a way, that you know she’s leaving another mark that you’ll need to cover up, and you run your fingers down her sides.   

“Mhmm ..I think you’ve wiped me out.” You admit, lazily kissing along her shoulder.   

“I think you’ve done the same!” She tells you, chuckling, as she rubs her thumb over your neck, admiring the new bruise that she’s decorated you with.  

She watches over you for a moment, and you raise your fingers to your face.  

“Do I have something on me?” 

“No..” 

“Well ..now you’re staring.” 

“Mhmm.”  

“Are you okay?” 

“Do you want children?” She asks you, rather abruptly, and you have to chuckle at the timing of her question.  

“What?” 

“Children.” She repeats.  

“..I don’t know what the Spanish education system has taught you, Ale ..but what we just did to each other ..isn’t resulting in any babies.” 

“Idiota,” she chuckles, “but do you want them?” 

“I don’t want you to go out stealing any.” 

“Y/N!” She giggles, holding herself up over you. “I’m being serious.” 

She shakes her head at you, and you grin up at her. “I think I do, yeah. Eventually, with the right person.” 

A faint smile spreads over her face and she leans down for a kiss.  

“Do you?” You question, and she nods her head, before kissing you again.  

“Two.” She tells you. “One of each. A girl first.” 

“I’ve always thought I’d have a girl first.” You admit. “Though ..I figured I’d just have two girls ..a little boy would be cute.” 

“Mhmm!” She hums against you, linking her hands with yours as she pushes herself back up.  

“That's a very intense question,” you point out, “before we’ve even been on our first date. I should be running for the hills.” 

“Do you want to?” 

“No,” you admit, “but you’ve got me picturing a family with you, and we’ve only hung out three times!” 

“Is that what we’re doing?” She questions with a smile. “We’re hanging out?” 

“What would you call it?” You ask her, and her eyes glitter above you.  

“I don’t know,” she says, “but I don’t hang out with anyone else like this.” 

“That’s a relief!” You chuckle, and she bites her lip as she shakes her head again.

“I think I want to be doing more than just hanging out with you.” She tells you, and a small smirk pulls at your lips.  

“Well ..if our date goes well tomorrow, and we keep agreeing to meet up and go out with each other. Then ..we’d probably be dating.” 

“Would that scare you, dating a woman?” 

“Not when the woman’s you. I don’t think I’d ever shut up bragging about it.” 

“That’s a lot of pressure on you, then.” She points out with a smile. “To make sure our first date goes well.” 

“I know, and I don’t know Barcelona very well.” You remind her. “I wouldn’t know where I can take you, where you won’t get papped.” 

She nods in understanding and leans down for a kiss. “Then, will you go on a date with me?” She asks, with a very knowing smile. “I can arrange our Barcelona dates, if you sort the ones in London.” 

She holds out her pinky in front of you, for you to solidify your promise with her, and you place a kiss to your linked fingers, before losing yourself in her eyes again. “Deal.” You tell her softly, and a thrill flows right through your body as she collapses back down onto you.  

It stirs in your head, as you realise that this is what it should actually feel like to be with someone. An excitement inside of you when you know you’re about to see them. A constant wish to be near to them, a genuine enjoyment of their company. A want to share your life with them, to talk about a future together without a sense of fear, or dread about it.  

It’s what you could have gone on to miss out on, for your whole life, without her.  

There’s a comfort in you, when you’re with her, a lazy pleasure in having her body resting on top of yours. The way her fingers trace over your every curve, how her lips light tiny fires on your skin. Each caressing touch from her is one that you crave. Every kiss, the way she laughs. Her relentless teasing, her continual cockiness.  

It’s all something you want no other person to be lucky enough to experience the way that you’ve been able to. It’s all what combines together to make up Alexia. You want her, completely. Body and soul.

And it hits you, like a hammer to the chest. 

You’re already in love with this woman.  

“Are you okay?” She asks. “Your heart’s beating very quickly.” 

“Mhmm ..I’m fine.” 

She props herself up on her elbows over you and tilts her head with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m a terrible liar?” You realise, and she softly nods her head. 

“You can talk to me.”  

“I know, I just ..I’m just going to miss you, after tomorrow.” 

“We can’t do that to ourselves.” She tells you quickly. “We still have the whole day to spend together.” 

“I know, I just—” 

She mutes you with a kiss and shakes her head. “No.” She says. “We’re not doing that. We can worry about it later. I’m taking you out tomorrow. You can’t go into our first date feeling miserable, the rest of our dates rest on the success of this one. You go into this date worrying about saying goodbye, we’ll never have any other da—” 

You cut her off this time.

It seemed like she was really about to start spiralling almost as pathetically as you have been doing all day. What a pair of losers you are together. Maybe you are perfect for each other. 

“Okay.” You tell her, nodding as you wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. “Okay, I’m sorry.” 

“We have one more day together,” she whispers, “we’re not wasting it being sad.” 

It’s an unfortunate curiosity, that sleep has been so hard for you to come by when you’ve been so desperate for it, and now, it’s threatening to steal you away when you fancy nothing more than staying awake forever. You don’t want to go to sleep, but a yawn that you’re not quite quick enough to stifle, lets Alexia know that you’re struggling a little to stay up with her.  

“Shit.” You mutter, throwing your arm over your face. “You caught that didn���t you?” 

“Mhmm. You can go to sleep.” She assures you, but you shake your head with a petulant pout.  

“I’m not tired.” You tell her, and she giggles, placing a kiss to your forehead before rolling off the side of you.  

“You really are a terrible liar.” She says, opening her arms to welcome you into her, and you don’t waste much time nestling yourself in her embrace.  

“I don’t want to sleep.” You admit to her chest, and she runs her fingers through your hair. “Not while I’m with you.” 

“I’ll still be here when you wake up.” 

“You’d better be.” You tell her. 

She throws her leg over your hip, drawing you in even closer to her, and you run your fingers up her thigh. 

“Are you quite comfy?”

“Mhmm! I’m not having you roll away from me again in the morning.” 

“I really wouldn’t want to.” You murmur, placing a kiss to her chest, as you snuggle closer against her.  

“Well, now you can’t!” She tells you. “I have very strong legs.” 

“I know, you do.” You chuckle sleepily. “I’ve had them clamped around my head a few times.” 

Another small yawn escapes you as you close your eyes, finally accepting defeat, and you place another lazy kiss to her chest as you begin drifting off.  

“Te quiero, Y/N.” Alexia whispers. “Dulces sueños.” 

“You sound really very lovely ..and I’m really bloody sorry ..but I don’t know what you’re saying to me.” You remind her, and you can feel her nodding her head gently. 

“Sweet dreams.” She translates, tightening her arms around you, as you struggle to stifle yet another little yawn.  

“Sweet dreams, Ale.” You manage to mumble in reply, before sleep fully consumes you, and you’re finally able to rest.

[sweetbans29]

Photograph - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: Caitlin loves the way you capture her (based on THIS request)

Warnings: domestic life

Word Count: 3.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Ms. Queen of Domesticity is back.

There wasn't much you loved more than being behind a camera. Before starting on the Iowa media team, you would say there was nothing you loved more than being behind your camera but a certain girl was determined to change that.

Photography had always been a hobby for you - started in a middle school photography class and only grew from there. You had no idea that it would lead you to majoring in media when you got to college but thanks to a high school teacher, your dreams to pursue photography had become reality. Mr. Poole was in charge of the sports media team at your high school and saw your love for capturing the moment in a game. It wasn't just the love he saw in you, it was also in the work that you produced. You would always capture athletes in a way that humanized them - capturing the excitement and hard work that a person has put in to lead up to the exact time your shutter snaps. All the sports teams loved you, begging you to come to their games.

It was the portfolio you built and a highly regarded letter of recommendation that had you on a pretty nice scholarship to Iowa studying sports media. It had also led you to an internship and a job with your university's sports media team.

It was your freshman year where you were encouraged to apply to intern and by the end of your freshman year they were offering you a job.

Your sophomore year is when you met Caitlin. A smiley freshman who had the whole media team buzzing. You had photographed the women's basketball team when you were interning and knew them really well. If you were asked, you would say they were your favorite team to watch and capture and that didn't change when you met the freshman guard.

It was during the women's basketball season where you and Caitlin hit it off. You would notice she would always turn to you and give a little smile or make a funny face. You would capture the sweet girl in photos that would never see the light of day (not yet at least). Caitlin wasn't even sure you would snap a pic when she turned your way, mostly trying to get a reaction out of you. And she did, every single time.

It started about halfway through the season. Everyone aside from the players were required to wear masks (thanks Covid) but you didn't mind. You were one of two media team members in house to photograph the games. The second you caught the brown-haired girl turn to where you were you would capture her. You would then look up at her with a smile, hidden by your mask, and a shake of your head.

What you didn't know was that Caitlin would watch for the crinkle in your eyes signaling a smile on your lips. It would be the catalyst for the flutter in her heart and butterflies in her tummy.

After every game, she would come up to you asking for those photos. You would always act clueless.

"So, are you going to let me see them this time?" Caitlin asks. You can't help but smile at the way her baby hairs are going every which way. You bring your camera up to capture her in this imperfect moment, the moments you love the most.

"Hey!" She squeals as she flips her hair to redo it, soothing all the little strays.

"Cute," you say looking at the photo on your camera screen, you lean over to her and show it.

"That is not what I was talking about," Caitlin says with a little whine.

You hate when anyone whines but with Caitlin, it is quite adorable.

"I don't know what you are talking about," you say shutting your camera down.

"You know exactly what I am talking about," Caitlin says, eyes looking directly into yours. "The ones you take that make the corners of your eyes turn up and a pretty little smile graces yours lips underneath that mask."

You are shocked by her forwardness but don't let her get the best of you.

"Caitlin Clark," you say in all seriousness. "Are you using me for my photos?"

Caitlin laughs and you join her.

"I know you take them and I will get them out of you someday," Caitlin says.

"Sure Clark, someday," you say and are on your way.

Fast forward to the end of the season when you and Caitlin start hanging out. You were the one to ask the younger girl out but ever since, she has been the one to cling more. Usually the constant want and need for her to be with you would be overwhelming, but as your love for the girl grew, having her near you became more and more natural.

When you started dating, it was kept to the confines of your apartment or hers. It wasn't hard to do as Cait was quite the homebody and your never minded being the introverted girl you are. The two of you would spend hours curled up in your bed, wearing sweats and sweatshirts and talking about everything under the sun. It was a cold winter day during your junior year, her sophomore year when you being to talk about things that mean a little more.

You are at your apartment, Caitlin is cuddled up by your side when she goes quiet all of the sudden. You feel your girl play with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

"What's going through that pretty little head of yours," you ask as you kiss the top of her head. She nestles her face into your arm and shoulder, inhaling the scent of your freshly washed sweatshirt.

You giggle and bring your free hand to come up to brush your fingers through her soft hair. Her face pops up, resting her head on your shoulder, finger still playing with your sleeve.

"I want a big family," she says, almost as if she is scared to say it. "I want at least 2 kids, maybe three."

You don't say anything immediately which stresses the younger girl out. You can't help but smile.

"If we had two, we each could carry one. If we have a third, then we will need to figure out who will carry," you say as you wiggle your arm out from between you and Caitlin and wrap it around her bringing her closer to you. You hand comes to rub her back.

Her arm comes to snake around your waist, fingers no longer fidgeting.

"We could have four and each carry two. Then we would have one sub for our starting 5," she says.

"Would you really want us to be outnumbered by double?" You ask, unsure how you feel about 4 kids.

Caitlin thinks about it, "I guess it would depend on how the first three are. If they came out like you, I wouldn't mind having a fourth but if we have three little me's then we might want to consider stopping at two."

You laugh and can't help but squeeze your girlfriend.

"And I will be playing pro ball while you are on the media team for my team, keeping us together. Your portfolio is already good enough to be working professionally so you could go wherever I am drafted. And you could keep taking those those photos of me that you say you don't take," Caitlin says with a little smirk.

You pinch the back of her arm and she yelps.

"Now you are definitely not seeing any of those photos," you say. Caitlin rolls her eyes, like she was ever going to see them in the first place.

"Tell me more," you say loving hearing Caitlin talk about your future.

"We would find a house in a nice neighborhood where our kids can play in the yard. And we would have a a dog, maybe two," she says.

"I want a cat," you say and you can almost hear the facial expression Cait makes.

"If you get two dogs, I get a cat," you say.

"What about one dog and no cats?" Caitlin counters.

"No," you say standing firm on owning a cat. "I should really just get a cat now, that way it will already be apart of the family."

"You don't need a cat when you have me," Caitlin says. "I am basically like a cat. I nap and cuddle you and bug you when I want food."

You laugh at her.

"If you are like a cat, I don't get why you don't want one then," you say.

She shrugs and the two of you continue talking about what like will be like after college.

It is shortly after that conversation that you are chosen by the cat distribution system. You are home to a little black kitten who has consumed a majority of your time which has Caitlin frustrated. Your time that was once spent cuddling her was now you cuddling the little black feline. As the kitten began to grow, it was like he knew he was taking you away from Caitlin and would intentionally lay on your stomach when she was over. Caitlin would complain to you and you told her that no one could replace her as your cuddle buddy, but by the stares Meatball gave her (yes you named your cat Meatball), he knew that he had won.

That was when the two of you started hanging out at her place more often which opened the door to her teammates finding out the two of you were dating. It was shortly after that both of you told your parents.

Moving on to the end of your senior year, graduation was something you were ready for. You were done with school and ready to work. You were already set up to stay with Iowa's media team for another year, two at max depending on if Caitlin was going to do a fifth year or not. The plan was for you to stick around until Caitlin declares for the draft, you would then follow her.

Capturing Caitlin her senior year was the most fun you had photographing a sport. Yes, her being your girlfriend played a part in that but her dominate performance was something that had eyes turning her way from every corners of the world. As you capture her throughout her senior year, you are beyond glad you did. It was like every other night she was breaking a record or putting up a monstrous game. It made for amazing content.

It was on Valentines Day when Caitlin had told you that she was planning on declaring for the draft.

"I think I am ready," she says as the two of you are sitting on your living room floor eating dinner by candlelight.

Caitlin wanted to take you out to a fancy restaurant that would ultimately lead you back to one of your places at the end of the night but you opted for a night in. You loved times like this with Cait, just the two of you...and Meatball. Meatball was sitting on the couch, watching the two of you.

"You think?" You ask, having a pretty good idea of what she's talking about.

"I am ready," she says. You nod.

"I just don't know if I am ready to announce it yet," she says. "Announcing it makes it real."

"It does," you say. "And it is okay that you are not ready to announce it. It is all on your timing, no one else's." You lean over to grab her hand.

"I am here with you every step of the way," you say squeezing her hand. She gives you a thankful smile.

"Me and Meatball," you say as your cat extends its paw to touch Caitlin's head. You both laugh at your furbaby.

"Thanks Meatloaf," Caitlin says removing the cats paw from her.

"Meatball," you say rolling your eyes.

"Ya, whatever," Caitlin says.

"But seriously Cait, if you are ready, I am with you," you say not wanting to brush over one of the biggest decisions of Caitlin's career.

"I love you," she says and you smile at your girl.

"I know," you say and continue eating your dinner. Caitlin looks at you expecting you to say the same thing but you don't.

"Anything else you care to add?" Caitlin asks, lifting an eyebrow.

You just look at her with a smile and chew your food. You know it bugs Caitlin when you don't tell her you love her back even though she can see it in your eyes.

"Say it," Caitlin says.

"Say what?" You poke at her. Caitlin rises from her spot and makes her way over to you but your crawl away. She comes up behind you and lifts your up from your waist. You let out a squeal as Caitlin traps you.

"Say it," Caitlin says again. When you don't tell her you love her in what she believes is a suitable time, she begins attacking you with her fingers. Laughs fall from your mouth as you try to get her to stop. You lift your hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay okay," you say. "I surrender!"

Caitlin looks at you expecting to hear the three little words but you just wiggle out of her grip and run from her.

She follows you into the bedroom where you show her just how much you love her.

Over the course of the next few months, time flies. Caitlin and the Hawkeyes worked endlessly to get back to the championship. They do, falling short of the victory. It is literal days after that when you are on a plane to New York with Caitlin and a few of her teammates to go to watch her on SNL. It is days after that she is being drafted to Indiana.

You are now settled into your shared apartment working on your portfolio. You are finally going through the shots you got of the team during the championship. It is while you are scanning through thousands of photos when Caitlin comes back from practice, plopping down beside you.

You can tell she has something to talk to you about considering she can't sit still. You hit save then turn to look at your cute girl.

"Why hello there," you say with a smile.

"I have some exciting news," she says.

"And what is that?" You ask.

"I ran into the media manager of the Fever and one thing led to another and they want to see your portfolio," she says with an unmatched excitement.

You smile at her and lean in to give her a hug.

"Always looking out for me," you say into her.

"Always," she says proud of herself.

You went and met with the Fever media team and they had offered you the job on the spot. It was unexpected but after seeing the way you had captured Caitlin, they knew it was a no brainer.

You had started with the team the first official game of the season. Working for the Fever media team while Caitlin was playing for them was the exact dream that the two of you had talked about that one winter day.

It is halfway through the season when the league goes on Olympic break. It is only a few days in when you decide to drop a little photo dump of Caitlin from a recent game where she stole your camera and took some photos for herself. When you posted the dump, the comment section blew up with comments. A lot of them talking about how Caitlin always looks so cute in your photos, several of them talking about how you photograph Cait the best. Then there are a select few comments that end up blowing up and sending her fanbase down a spiral. It is the two comments that begin the exposure of your relationship.

"I think the world knows," you say as you laugh at some of the comments.

Caitlin comes up behind you looking over her shoulder. Her chin finds your shoulder as her arms snake around you. You hold your phone as you let her scroll through the comments.

"Surprised it hasn't blown up sooner," she says and you laugh.

"What do you mean by that?" You ask.

"I mean, if you look at any other photo someone takes of me it is nothing compared to how you capture me. It is like we are always in sync," she says proud of you.

"Ya, I guess that makes sense," you say. The comments are all cute and for both of yours relationship.

"I am like Spiderman and you are like Peter Parker," Cait says and you let out a hearty laugh. She continues, "You know what I mean. How Peter captures Spidey in all the right angles because he is Spidey. We are one and the same."

You laugh at your girls explanation and turn around to give her a kiss.

"That was a great connection there babe," you say and she smiles down at you.

It is not long after fans start digging up old Iowa photos that you took of Caitlin. Before you know it, the two of you are public with your relationship.

It is after Caitlin's rookie year that you finally decide to open up the treasure trove of photos you have of Caitlin looking at you through the camera. You make a post of how proud of her you are finishing up her first year in the W. You dig deep, all the way back to some of you first games capturing the Hawkeyes.

When Cait sees them, the first time is on her Instagram in a tagged post. Her eyes go wide as she yells your name in your apartment. She immediately goes to hunt you down and finds you giggling on the couch with Meatball napping on your lap.

"You didn't," she says staring at you with a playful grin.

"Oh but I did," you say matching her grin. She jumps on your earning a sprint and glare from Meatball.

"Show me more," she begs and you finally give in, showing her all of the photos you have of her looking at you with loving eyes.

AN: Okay but I am here for Meatball. Let me know what you think about this media reader. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[mapis-putellas]

[ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀᴛꜱ ]

Summary: You never intended to meet the love of your life on a random Friday at work, and you definitely never thought she’d be world famous footballer Alexia Putellas.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐

You had a total of five new Spanish words in your vocabulary by the time you got home that evening, your phone tightly clutched in your hands as you distractedly stumble into your apartment and kick off your shoes before closing and locking the door behind you.

It was all beginners stuff admittedly, but you figure you had to start somewhere. Throwing yourself into the deep end by trying to learn full sentences this soon would only end in disaster; as much as you would like that to not be the case.

In all honesty, you weren't too confident in being able to learn a whole other language. You'd never been able to do so before, especially in school when you'd been forced to take French. The only thing you could remember how to say was hello and my name is. If you dug deep down perhaps you could remember how to count to ten too, but that was really all you had.

But Alexia seemed to know English okay, so perhaps you just needed to learn how to understand Spanish not necessarily how to speak it. Was that the easy way out? Probably. But it was definitely a little less daunting.

Your socked feet pad softly against the wooden floor as you make your way through to the kitchen with the intention of fixing something quick for dinner, settling quickly on some craft Mac and cheese that you immediately grab out of the pantry. It may not be healthy, but it was definitely tasty and right now that was all you needed.

You set your phone down, still open on Duolingo as you fill a pan with water and set it down onto the heat. Leaving that to do its thing, you hurry through to your bedroom to change into some comfy clothes. You'd been in a shirt and jeans all day, and it was pretty much safe to say you were over it. People who wore jeans to relax were complete psychopaths and no one could ever convince you otherwise and that's not even mentioning people that sleep in a bra.

It wasn't long until you were back into the kitchen clad in a pair of pyjama shorts along with an oversized shirt, your dirty clothes kicked to the corner of your room to be dealt with later. By now, the water was boiling, and you pour the box of noodles into it before giving it a quick stir and disposing the box into the garbage.

Your phone buzzes against the counter just seconds later, and you scramble over to it, hoping it was the beautiful blonde you'd not been able to stop thinking about. When you see it was in fact her, you can't help but grin elatedly and pick up your phone, eyes skimming over the message.

Alexia: Hola. I hope you got home okay. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?

You: Hey Alexia. I did get home okay, thank you. I hope you did too. And yes I'm free :)

Was the smiley face too passive aggressive? It looked as though it was. Oh well, hopefully she thinks you were just trying to be nice.

Knowing that watching your phone for her reply would only make you all the more impatient, you drain the now cooked noodles at the sink before adding the powdered cheese and butter, giving it a thorough stir before shoving a spoonful into your mouth.

Yum.

The familiar buzzing greets you again just moments later, and your hands were reaching for your phone before your brain had given them permission to do so, the spoon still hanging from your mouth.

Alexia: Sí, I got home okay. Is one okay?

You: one is perfect

Alexia: I will pick you up

You: Sounds good

Alexia: I will see you then

You: Umm, Alexia?

Alexia: Sí?

You: Don't you need my address?

Alexia: Oh

Alexia: Yes please

You smile softly as you send her your address, liking the thumbs up she sends in response before locking your phone and tucking into the waistband of your shorts. Grabbing your bowl of Mac and cheese, you curl up on the corner of the couch beneath your favourite blanket and turn on the tv, only taking a few minutes unlike your usual twenty to decide on a show.

*

You were up the next day a little before ten am, the sun shining in through the partially open curtains opposite that you'd inevitably forgotten to close before finally dragging yourself to bed last night. Groaning quietly as you stretch your arms above your head, you let out a quiet exhale before kicking off and blankets and hauling yourself out of bed. You instinctively shiver when your feet meet the cold floor, yanking the hoodie strewn at the end of your bed over your head as you make your way through to the bathroom.

The sight of your reflection in the mirror makes you glad you have so much time before your date with Alexia, because it was evident you had a whole lot of work to do.

And with just ten minutes to spare, you find yourself standing in front of the mirror in your living room completely ready to go. Completely oblivious to Alexia's plans, you'd decided on an outfit that was more or less fit for any occasion. A loose white v-neck T-shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. It was warm out today, so you'd tied a thin jacket around your waist. The chance of it actually raining was incredible low, but not completely impossible and you'd rather be safe than sorry.

Your makeup was light and natural, hair pulled up into a half up half down braid with a few loose strands left out to frame your face.

Not a hundred percent happy with how you look but figuring there was nothing you could really do about it, you blow out a deep breath through your mouth before grabbing your keys and wallet from the coffee table and making your way over to the front door. You feel the butterflies in your stomach return with a vengeance as you lock up behind you, and you hoped to god, as you make your way into the elevator and press the button to the ground floor, that it didn't show on your face.

Alexia would be here any minute, and whilst you could almost guarantee she'd be nervous too, you didn't want that to be the only thing you had in common resulting in a less than ideal first date.

You shake off the residual nerves as the elevator doors open, stepping out into the small lobby area just in time for the clock to reach one. As luck would have it, an unfamiliar car you assume is Alexia pulls into the small carpark just as you step outside. You pause by the entrance of your apartment building as you watch her pull her car to a stop, smiling slightly when you see her reach up to pull down the sun visor to get one last look at her reflection before pushing open the door and stepping out of the car.

The smile was immediately wiped from your face the second you see in the outfit she was wearing, your pulse suddenly pounding loudly in your ears as your fingers clench tightly around your phone.

On her body was a white, fitted cropped tank top that was not hiding the fact she wasn't wearing a bra, showing off her tanned, toned arms adorned with a few tattoos and a silver watch on her right wrist. The tank top also gives you a clear view of her...six pack?!

You make a futile effort of ignoring the way your legs turn into jelly as your eyes drop further down her body, taking in the pair of black, high waisted sweatpants that hugged her waist perfectly.

Oh yeah. She was definitely way out of your league. How on earth could someone like her ask someone like you out? You absolutely did not know, but right now, you couldn't quite find it in you to care. She looked insanely good, and only you had the pleasure of seeing that so up close and personal.

Alexia was soon making her way towards you whilst lifting the pair of sunglasses she was wearing to the top of her head, and you smile somewhat bashfully as you watch her look you up and down just as you had done with her. By the way her lips creep up into a satisfied smile you assume she likes what she was seeing and makes you feel a little more confident about the outfit you'd chosen.

Soon, she was in front of you, and the pounding in your heart amplifies when she leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. The feeling of her lips lingers as she pulls away, and you have to refrain from reaching up to touch it knowing that might make you seem a little weird.

"You look really, really good." You murmur with a tentative smile, and Alexia flushes almost bashfully as she tucks her hands into the back pockets of her sweatpants. Your eyes are immediately drawn to her arms at the casual action, and it was only when Alexia pointedly clears her throat do you realise what you were doing.

"Gracias, amor. You do too." She returns the compliment, thankfully not calling you out on your shameless staring as she holds out her hand. She does, however, raise an eyebrow teasingly, and you could so no more than shrug noncommittally you slot your hand into her own. With arms like that, how could you not stare? Asking you not to do so would be criminal.

Alexia seems pleased at your lack of embarrassment, giving your hand a soft squeeze as she gestures towards her car. "Are you ready to go?"

There was a confidence about her today that wasn't there yesterday giving you a little insight into how she may act around the people she both knows and trusts, and whilst a part of you thinks it may be a false bravado due to the fact she barely knows you, you had a feeling that if you played your cards right, one day it might end up being for real. 

One could only hope right? 

"Of course." You respond.

Her skin was both soft and warm, slender fingers intertwining with your own with an ease that you didn't quite expect as she guides you over to the car. She opens the passenger door without hesitation, waiting for you to slip inside and buckle up before rounding the vehicle and slipping into the drivers seat.

You get a hint of the perfume she was wearing as she situates herself, reaching back for her own seatbelt and buckling up. It smells like vanilla, you think. Subtle yet sweet. Just like her.

"So, can I know where we're going?" You question, eyes following her hands as she pulls down her sunglasses so they sat back on her nose. She glances at you as she starts the car, her lips quirking up into a teasing smile.

"It is a secret. I promise you will love it." She assures, checking her mirrors before backing out of the spot she'd parked in.

"What? Come on. I don't even get a hint?" You plead playfully, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Alexia smiles as she pulls out onto the main road, both hands steady on the wheel. "It will be fun?” She offers, and you huff out a quiet breath of amusement as you cross one leg over the other.

"Alexia, that's not a hint. I find so many things fun. Does it have something to do with food? Is it some sort of activity? Will we be getting messy?"

Alexia merely shrugs her shoulders as she purses her lips with a soft smile. She leans back in her seat a little, laying her hand palm up on the console between you. Her fingers wiggle invitingly, and you make direct eye contact with her as you rest your hand atop of her own, slotting your fingers in between hers.

"If I tell you, it will not be a surprise." She squeezes your hand softly.

You tilt your head to the side. "I am at least dressed right?"

"Sí," Alexia nods, her hand remaining intertwined with yours as she glances your way before bringing her attention back to the road. "You look perfect. Prometo."

"That means promise, right?" You check.

Alexia glances at you again, the awe in her voice evident as she speaks. "Muy bien!" She praises fondly, and you can't help but smile so wide your eyes crinkle up at the corners.

You knew knowing one word in Spanish wasn't really that big a deal, but the proudness in Alexia's voice makes you want to do it a thousand times over.

In the twenty minute car ride to wherever she was taking you, you share small talk about the basic ins and outs of your lives. You tell her your current favourite song, Alibi, and she tells you the football team she supports. Barcelona. You tell her a little about your family; how many siblings you had and what job your mom did, and she tells you her favourite things to do in her free time. Traveling and playing football. All in all it was pretty basic information, but you had to start somewhere, right?

You were just on the topic of your mediocre Spanish knowledge when Alexia slows the car down, indicating left and pulling into an unfamiliar car park. "You have been practicing?" She asks, pulling her hand out of your own putting on the handbrake.

"A little." You admit somewhat distractedly as you look around your surroundings in a futile effort at trying to figure out where you were. "Okay, where are we? Can I please know now?" You turn back round to face her.

"Soon." she smirks, and you glare at her playfully as you step out of the car, waiting for Alexia to do the same before once again reaching for her hand. They intertwine effortlessly, Alexia locking her car before gently guiding you down the street, only walking a couple hundred yards before gently pulling you to a stop in front a somewhat small looking building.

Through the window, you could see people sat at tables painting what looked to be pottery, and your eyes widen in pure delight as you turn to face an unsure looking Alexia.

"Is this-"

"Oh my god!" You laugh, jumping up and down slightly. "This is definitely not what I imagined but it's perfect. Let's go in! What are you going to paint? I think I know what I want to paint. Maybe we could paint each other something! This is so exciting!"

Alexia watches you ramble with a small grin on her face as she allows you to push the door open and all but pull her inside. You were both immediately greeted by an employee who was quick to get you all set up with your aprons, brushes and paints, both Alexia and you deciding that out of the two tables offered that you would take the one in the back for a little extra privacy. After setting down your things, the kind employee leads you to the shelves that held so many different pottery items it was hard to differentiate what was what.

Despite that, you can't help but be excited when you're both told to take your pick out of any of them.

You hook an arm around Alexia's waist so you could talk to her without disturbing anyone else. "Which one are you picking?"

Alexia tilts her head towards you as she loosely throws her arm over your shoulder. "You said you wanted to paint one for each other, sí? You pick for me, and I will pick for you."

"Okay," you agree easily, keeping your arm around her as your eyes flicker over the shelves. Though it takes a few minutes, you do finally settle on an adorable looking fox. "This one good?"

"Sí. Perfect. This one for me, yes?" Alexia holds out the one she'd chosen, it being a penguin. You nod your head, giving her waist a squeeze before guiding her back over to your designated table. Initially, she'd been sat opposite you, bur with a short glance your way, she moves her things over to the seat next you before sitting down.

You hide your smile at this, but do scoot your chair a little closer to her own so you weren't so far apart. Alexia glances at you, an eyebrow raised, but you merely gesture to the seat opposite that she'd abandoned earning yourself a guilty smile. With a soft laugh that Alexia mimics yet chooses to stifle, you hand over your fox and take her penguin in return.

"So," you start, picking up a paintbrush and dipping it into the black paint. "How did you come up with this idea?" You begin dragging your brush over the back of the penguin, using your free hand to hold it still which results in your fingers immediately becoming covered in paint.

Alexia hums quietly as she swirls her own brush around in the orange paint. "Uhhh, Mapi help...helped me come up with a few ideas. This was the best one."

"Yeah?" You glance her way, Alexia meeting your gaze with a tentative smile as she too begins painting.

"Sí. One of the ideas was...a balloon ride?" She tries unsurely, dipping her brush back into the orange paint.

You freeze mid stroke. "A hot air balloon ride?" You ask incredulously, and Alexia nods somewhat distractedly as she focuses on not getting any paint on her skin. The thought of being that high up in the sky with nothing to keep you from falling to your inevitable death makes you shudder internally. You were so glad she hadn't picked that option because otherwise she would have been going on a date with herself.

"Sí," she nods, looking up at you. She see's the somewhat unsettled look on your face and reaches a her free hand out to rest on top of your own that was laying dormant on the table. "You do not like heights?"

You shake your head with a small grimace. "No, not really." You admit, watching the way her thumb idly strokes the skin on the top of your hand. Was such a simple action supposed to cause butterflies?

"It is a good job I did not choose it then." She acknowledges, and you hum in an agreement as you get back to painting, your free hand still linked with Alexia's.

"That would have been an incredible first date though," you say as an afterthought. "A hot air balloon ride. Can you imagine that?" You laugh, and Alexia nods her head with a quiet chuckle.

"Sí. I could." She agrees, dunking her paintbrush into the water to get rid of the orange paint before pulling it out, drying it off and dipping it into the white paint. "Mapi nearly per...persuade?" You nod. "Persuade me, but I get her to change her mind."

"Wait, you were actually considering a hot air balloon ride for a hot second?"

Alexia nods her head.

"That's crazy expensive Alexia." You laugh a little in disbelief, finishing with the black paint and starting with the white.

"That does not matter. I could take you on ten hot air balloon ride and it will not affect me." She shrugs a little carelessly, and you stare at her in incredulity.

"I have a good job, amor, do not worry." She attempts to sooth you, squeezing your hand that was still holding her own.

You roll your shoulders before nodding your head. A part of you wants to ask just what job she did, but you didn't want to come off as rude or nosey.

"Okay, I think I'm done." You admit, setting your paintbrush down and turn the ceramic penguin to face her. Alexia looks up, her lips quirking up into a satisfied smile.

"That is very good. Muy bien." She praises, and you bow playfully earning yourself soft laugh. You make a silent reminder to yourself to make her laugh again before the dates over, because you'd never heard a sound so perfect.

Alexia finishes off the foxes nose before setting her paintbrush down too, using the tip of her finger to nudge it around so it was facing you. You lean in close, smiling at all the little details she'd made sure to add.

"That's perfect." You praise, bravely leaning in and kissing her cheek. Alexia smiles a little bashfully as her eyes briefly flicker down to your lips before she clears her throat and stands up. "We need to wash our hands, sí?" She gestures over to the far corner of the room.

Despite the fact Alexia didn't have a single speck of paint on her, you nod your head and follow her over to sink anyway. You take turns in washing your hands, allowing Alexia to dry your own for you when she shyly requests to do so. She then places her hand on the small of your back as she guides you back over to the table.

A joint effort was made in cleaning up your workspace, you playfully poking Alexia in the side when she gently nudges you out of the way to pick up your paint water as well as her own. She simply sends you a cheeky smile, one you can't help but mimic as she disposes of the paint before making her way back over to you.

You were told you could pick up your 'masterpieces' in a week, Alexia noting it down on her phone so she didn't forget before paying, not giving you a single opportunity to fight her on the subject despite your futile attempts.

"Alexia-"

"No," she takes your hand and pulls you out of the building. "I ask you out, amor, so I pay, sí?"

"Well I'm paying next time. No ifs, ands, or buts about it." You state firmly, Alexia raising an eyebrow in amusement as she instinctively swings your hands back and forth.

"Next time?" She questions, debating with herself for a second before gently pulling you to a stop and backing you up against a wall down a small alley that would ultimately keep you both hidden should anyone walk by.

You allow this to happen, head tilting to the side as you stare up at her with a look of intrigue on your face.

"You think you can take me on one of the best dates I've ever been on and not expect a second one?" You question, eyebrow raised, and Alexia shakes her head playfully as she reaches up and tucks one of the loose strands of hair behind your ear.

"What if I said the date was not over?" Her hand lingers on the side of your face, the pad of her thumb trailing gently just beneath your eye.

You lean into her touch. "It's not?"

Alexia shakes her head, her eyes once again flickering down to your lips. They linger there for a lot longer than they did last time. "I have one more thing planned, after I..." she looks up to make eye contact once again.

"After you?" You murmur, hopeful.

Alexia visibly swallows as her hand lowers to cup your jaw. "I want to kiss you. Please.”

Your heart pounds at her admission. "Then do it."

Alexia brushes the pad of her thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness. "Are you sure?"

Your lips parting in a soundless intake of breath. "Sí. Kiss me." You whisper, and Alexia leans down to tentatively connect her lip with your own. The warmth of her mouth immediately sends a current of energy throughout the entirety your body, your insides feeling as though they'd been set on fire.

Your legs instantly turn into jelly, and you can only thank the wall behind you for keeping you upright as you place your hands on the gentle curve of her waist in an effort at pulling her closer.

You could feel the soft tickle of her breath against the tip of your nose as she complies and places one of her legs between your own, her chest becoming flush with yours as her other hand rises to meet the other. Your arms loop around her waist, hands coming to rest against the small of her back.

Her lips were soft, bruising, devouring yours with such reckless abandon you can't help but want more. She was everywhere. Tongue teasing. Teeth nipping. Hands demanding. When she asks for entrance, you immediately grant it, unable to stop the soft groan from escaping your lips when you feel her tongue trace teasingly over the roof of your mouth.

You feel her smile at the sound, and you find it hard to be embarrassed when she continues kissing you like there was nowhere else she'd rather be. You couldn't quite pinpoint her taste, but it was so addictive and so Alexia it took everything in you lot to get lost or swept away.

The kiss ends much sooner than you wanted it too, Alexia pulling away, stealing two more kisses from your lips in the process. She doesn't go far, simply resting her forehead against your own, your rapid breaths mingling in the small space left between you.

"You're a really good kisser." Is all you could bring yourself to say as your eyes flutter closed, hearing her laugh softly in response as she gently brushes the backs of her fingers over your cheek. You can't help but lean into the touch.

"Gracias, amor," she whispers, tracing her thumbs against the soft skin beneath your eyes, a silent prompt for you to open them. Once you do, she leans down just slightly and presses her lips against your forehead.

"You are...asombrosa." She murmurs as she pulls away.

"I don't know what that means." You admit, still slightly breathless.

"You will soon." She promises.

**

Tags:

@simp4panos @goldenempyrean @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @liloandstitchstan @xxnaiaxx @marysfics

[spiderfunkz]

heyy could you do a peter parker blurb based on him asking you out on the last day of school? i love ur writing btw

✧ LOVE ON A LAST DAY.

summary : someone has a pretty crush on you!

word count : 0,7k

contains : fluff, fem!reader, super cutesy stuff.

a/n : next month i'll be graduating so this prompt is actually perfect omg omg, thank u for requesting anon i hope u like this !!! 🤭 i used the word 'smile' so much in this i apologize

"hey, peter!"

you waved cheerfully,

it was the last day of school. the final bell just rang and everyone is running out of the building yelling, cheering, crying, and smiling. papers were scattered, pens fell out of backpacks, shirts were signed, and flowers were exchanged.

you were going to hangout with your friends but that's when you spot peter at the end of the hall. hair messy, backpack full, his hands were in his pocket, he looked very nervous.

but you weren't going to leave him alone like that, it's been a while since you two have catched up.

you have been friends since middle-school, but as friends do, they drift apart, though you've never lost that spark with peter. you loved his company & he loved yours.

"hi!" peter waved.

you catch up to him, "hey, i didn't see you anywhere today! you haven't gotten a chance to sign my jacket yet. here," you pass a marker.

"i saved you a spot to sign." he nods, signing it.

you smile, "aw, this looks perfect."

he smiles too, he seems to be very smiley every time he's around you.

sometimes he forgets that you can see how much he smiles when he's near you, or how you can see that he's clearly staring at you.

"what? do i have something on my face?" you rub your cheek,

"oh, no. no you don't, sorry."

"you sure?"

he nods.

"you're weirdly quiet. you okay? i'm still going to the same college as you if that's what you're worrying about," you giggle.

peter has always loved how easy you are to talk to. in a way that there's never awkward pauses between conversations, and how your smile makes everything feel so calm and nice.

"i know. i just, uh-" he fiddles with something in his pocket, "there's something i wanna say, if that's okay."

"yeah, why wouldn't it not be okay?"

he shakes his head, smiling.

he passes you a picture from his pocket along with a small flower he picked.

you take it, your hand softly brushing his hand for a second.

it was a picture he took 2 months ago. you remember the day very well.

it was hot, awfully hot for new york. there were no clouds, the skies were clear and everybody was talking about it. how eager they are to take a walk and how excited they are to enjoy time outside.

though you and peter wanted nothing more but to stay inside, but this doesn't happen everyday. so why not try your best to enjoy it?

you were at the park and just finished your 2nd cup of lemonade (it was peter's), peter brought his camera for memories. your hair kept sticking to your face and it didn't help that you were smiling a ton so it got in your lipgloss as well.

suddenly wind came and flew past you. the air felt cool for a second and your hair went all over your face, you still smiled though.

peter saw and took a picture immediately, the sun perfectly leaving a glow on your hair, also giving your lips a nice glow.

"did you just take a picture?" he quickly shook his head, "yes you did! let me see!" — "no! i know you're just gonna delete it."

you finally saw the picture. at the bottom you can see a handwritten note on it. a beautiful day with the most beautiful girl!

"peter, this is so cute. you- you took this?" you asked, he nods shyly.

you couldn't hide the fact that your face grew red. "i was wondering... if maybe the most beautiful girl in the world would like to maybe.. like to.. go out with me sometimes..?"

peter said, whispering the last few words, looking down at his shoes, the doodled converses you once drew on.

you smile, "i'd love to."

he looks up, shocked. "really?"

"yeah! i mean all of this coming from the most prettiest, talented, caring boy in the world? how could i say no?" you smile, teasingly.

peter smiles.

he thinks for a second before taking the small flower from your hands and tucking it behind your ear, "pretty." he says, stated actually.

"so are you going to walk me home now, most beautiful boy in the world?" you ask. he nods almost immediately, "absolutely, most perfect girl in the world."

you walk outside the building, your hand holding his.

"just so you know i'm gonna draw a big red heart around your signature on my jacket."

[lilasamaaa]

In the crowd | Carlos Sainz x Reader

Genres | Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

Word count | 3.6K.

Warnings | Alcohol consumption, drugs, mentions of violence.

Summary | Reader's an engineer at Scuderia Ferrari in Maranello. While attending the season's launch party, her drink gets spiked.

Author's Note | Hi all! After the longest time, I've felt the need to come back here for some silly writing. New blog because the last one got cringe. Let me know what you think!

One might think that after two years within the scuderia, the season’s launch parties would make her less uneasy. That after two years of being apart of the engineering team, she would finally be used to attending public gatherings. That after two years, she’d be a natural at walking in the open, feeling the glances slide over her figure. She is stunningly beautiful. Perhaps that's her burden. She doesn't realize it. 

When she walks across the paddock or the stands, she knows people are staring at her. She avoids meeting their gazes, feeling embarrassed. She thinks there must be something wrong with her outfit, with her gait. Why else would they stare for so long?

In Maranello, there’s a bakery at the corner of the HQ building where she stops every morning. The cashier always offers her something extra. A coffee. An additional pastry. She finds him polite, very customer-oriented. One morning, as she was freeing her croissant from the paper napkin it was wrapped in, she’d discovered a phone number scrawled in pen ink, with a hastily drawn smiley face. She’d stared at the napkin, perplexed, seated at her desk. He must have made a mistake, she thinks. It must have been meant for the customer before her. The one with the beautiful blonde curls and the Chanel perfume. She didn't call, didn't send a message. She continued to visit the bakery. The cashier never mentioned the number, proving her theory.

Someone brushing past her brings her back to earth. The party is in full swing, and she’s just not. She spots her colleagues bustling around the buffet and the bar, engrossed in lively conversations. While some don't even notice her, others wave their hands, encouraging her to join them. She forces a smiles, returns the wave. Then she tightens her grip around her clutch. Anything to make her feel like she’s in control. To make her forget that the music’s too loud, the lights too vibrant, the air too hot. 

She doesn't remember ever feeling comfortable in her body. Years of growing up in an unstable family where love was doled out sparingly do that to a person. 

"Hey," comes a familiar voice. She turns her head, her big eyes catching sight of Livio’s, one of her colleagues. "Are you not dancing?" he continues, a drink in hand. His whiskey breath hits her straight on. She discreetly glances at her watch, noting that it's barely nine.

"I haven't had enough to drink for that," she replies, trying to dodge the invitation.

"Let's go get you something then," Livio responds, grabbing her arm and heading towards the bar.

She's noticed that men always do that with her. Not just her colleagues, but people she doesn't know either. She's too kind, too gentle; she never raises her voice. So they grab her by the hips, the arms, the wrists. Anything is an excuse to touch her. She hates it.

"What do you want?" Livio asks.

Nothing, really, but she can't say that.

"Something sweet, please. I don't like strong alcohol," she replies. Livio seems to ponder her question for a second, his mouth pursed.

"I have something for you to try, wait," he continues, signaling to the bartender. "You're going to like it, don't worry."

A few seconds later, a glass of Plymouth is placed in front of her, and she looks up at Livio. Does he think I've never tasted gin in my life? she wonders, puzzled. She would like to refuse the drink, ask for the cherry liqueur she discovered last time indeed. But already, Livio has grabbed her glass and hands it to her with a big smile. "Salute," he exclaims, downing his own glass in one gulp.

Cries and applause suddenly echo in the large reception hall, causing her to turn her head. It takes her a few minutes to understand the reason for this sudden commotion. Until she sees them, a few meters away.

Charles and Carlos.

Her eyes can't seem to tear away from the two pilots making their way through the crowd to a small stage where a microphone is set up. It's tradition : to kick off the season in style, the entire team eagerly awaits the drivers' speeches. Everyone wants to hear their words, their encouragements, their hopes and goals for the season.

A friend once asked her if she knew Charles and Carlos personally. She can't really say yes. That would be a lie. She's exchanged words with each of the athletes before, giving them information about the race, their car, and the expected weather. These exchanges have always been brief and cordial. Professional. Nothing more.

Even though... No, she thinks, lightly shaking her head. That was nothing. But still...

It had happened just before the race in Singapore, last year.

A friend from engineering school had moved there at the beginning of the year, and they had agreed to meet for dinner at a fancy restaurant in the city. It was an opportunity to reminisce about the years spent at Polytechnique, studying (a bit), suffering (a lot), and getting drunk (a whole lot).

She had chosen a long emerald green silk dress, slit up to mid-thigh. The perfect balance between classy and sexy. She had no intention of charming her companion - notoriously attracted to men, anyway - but this meal was the perfect excuse to leave her eternal Ferrari jumpsuits for something more feminine.

In the long corridor leading to the elevator, she'd suddenly felt on a catwalk, letting herself get caught up in the moment and rolling her hips perhaps a tad too exaggeratedly. The person emerging from the corner at the far end of the corridor surprised her, but not enough to disrupt her stride, her heels clicking against the floor.

She had recognized him immediately, of course.

Dressed in a simple fitted black polo and a pair of dark jeans, his eyes had not left hers throughout their crossing. When the two had finally reached the same level, she'd breathed out a small "Good evening, Carlos," suddenly insecure about everything. Her outfit. Her gait. The messy bun revealing her neck. The cleavage leaving no room for a bra and showing the beginning of her breasts.

He had passed her, nodding in acknowledgment, and each had continued on their way. She was certain... No, almost certain, that she had dreamt the words that had followed.

"That's one lucky guy."

Yes, she was almost certain she had dreamt it. Watching the Spaniard in the distance take hold of the microphone and tap it gently to check the connections, she became increasingly convinced. There was no chance that this man, chiseled from marble, could have noticed her. Desired her.

His accent echoes throughout the room, and she instinctively closes her eyes, as if bathed in the gentle sun of Madrid. She's not listening - not really - only catching words here and there. "Truly an honor," "Very impressed by your efforts," "Promising changes." But her mind is elsewhere, between Maranello and Singapore, tethered to the memory that makes her lower abdomen tingle in the sweetest of ways.

"And now, it's time to celebrate!" Carlos says as the room erupts with joy and anticipation.

"Earth to you?" comes a much less pleasant voice than the one that has just quieted down.

"I'm sorry, what?" she says, returning her attention to Livio.

"Oh, wow, you've got to be kidding me. Is it just me, or are you completely absorbed by this guy?" Livio replies, his mouth twisted in a grimace.

"Who?" she asks, genuinely confused.

"Sainz. You were hanging on his every word."

"I just think it's nice that they're giving an encouraging speech. Both of them," she explains, avoiding the Italian's gaze.

"Yeah, okay. Should we get another drink?" he asks, taking hold of her arm again.

She wants to protest. She can still taste the gin at the back of her mouth. It can't have been more than twenty minutes since her first drink. But Livio is already almost dragging her behind him, clearly determined not to let her escape tonight. And once again, that hand locks around her arm. Firm. Not open to discussion. She feels something almost territorial in the gesture, something that strongly displeases her, so she vows to mention it to Livio. Someday. Not tonight.

This time, he doesn't even pretend to care about what she wants to drink, ordering two whiskies straight away. She hates it. The taste, the look, what this alcohol does to her mind and body. But Livio has already slipped two bills to the bartender, and a moment later, the amber liqueur lands in her right hand.

While her drinking companion is already tilting his head back, clearly unaware that this type of alcohol is to be savored and not downed in one go, she observes the glass, intrigued by the few bubbles that are forming on the surface. I had no idea whiskey could do that, she thinks before bringing the liquid to her lips.

A few minutes later, she's managed to shake off Livio by claiming she needed to use the restroom. She crosses paths with Carlos walking in the other direction, maybe three people ahead of her, but he doesn't notice her.

In front of the restroom mirror, touching up her lipstick, her focus changes as she sees a drop of sweat trickle down her temple and slide slowly onto her cheek. I'm rather cold, though, she thinks, almost suppressing a shiver. Her head suddenly feels very light. She blames the alcohol. Putting her lipstick back in her clutch and tucking a strand of hair that threatened to escape from her bun, she pushes the restroom door open again, bracing herself to face the social world once more.

Passing by the buffet, a wave of nausea washes over her, forcing her to stop for a few seconds, leaning against the table and closing her eyes.

"I thought it was you," echoes the sunny accent in her ears. With her eyes still closed, she wishes their new encounter, one that she'd admit she's dreamed about, had happened differently. At a better time. A time when she wasn't battling a fierce urge to throw up.

"Are you okay?" Carlos inquires, raising his hand as if to support her but stopping halfway.

She takes a few seconds to push the unpleasant sensations from her body as far away as possible before lifting her head, opening her eyes, and being rewarded with the exquisite sight of his luscious hair and amber eyes.

"Hi," she manages to utter in a faint voice. "Great speech," she continues, still leaning against the table.

"You look pale," the driver responds, looking concerned.

The words escape her lips before they even reach her brain. She regrets them instantly. Something inside her just give way, like a dam.

"Sorry. I must have looked better in Singapore," she says.

Carlos widens his eyes, surprised, before letting out an awkward laugh.

"Sorry for staring at you like that, that night. You were... Well, you are...," he continues, seeming to search for his words.

She would so love to hear the rest, to know what he was going to say. But dizziness seizes her, and she feels herself tipping against the table. Well, almost, because suddenly, an arm wraps around her waist, pressing her against a chest that, yes, she's also dreamed about several times. But not like this. Not in this state.

"Hey," Carlos says, his voice tinged with worry.

"I'm so sorry, this never happens to me. I must have had one drink too many, I—"

"I saw you at the bar not even ten minutes ago," the Spaniard continues. "No alcohol hits you that fast. Not even shots."

"I'm fine," she says, and the pilot understands that she's saying it not only to reassure him but herself as well. And, as if the words had commanded it, the fog in her mind dissipates a bit. Enough for her to gently detach herself from the pilot, finding her balance on her own two feet again. She'd like to take advantage of this newfound clarity to keep the Spaniard close to her. Him, that she never crosses paths with, whom she never speaks to, and yet who appeals to her so much.

But Charles arrives. He smiles at her, asks if she's okay, if she's enjoying the evening, and oh, "I'll borrow him for a moment, I'm so sorry, sponsors, you know," and oh, once again, she finds herself alone at the buffet, watching the two men walk away, Carlos still watching her as he reluctantly retreats.

"I was beginning to think he'd never leave," Livio says, leaning against the buffet, his hip brushing against hers.

She wants to scream. Oh, how badly she wants to.

Sensing that she's not going to respond, the Italian tries his luck again.

"Should we dance? You seem intoxicated enough, now."

She doesn't even have time to respond before her colleagues guides her onto the dance floor, eagerly pressing his body against hers. His breath, previously tinged with whiskey, now betrays hints of tequila. The guy never has enough, she thinks, twirling reluctantly.

And there it goes again. The nausea, the queasiness. Spinning her around like a puppet doesn't help, she tells herself. She comes to a halt, cutting off Livio's momentum, causing some dancing couples to narrowly avoid colliding with them. Feeling vulnerable, she tries to get away, to seek refuge elsewhere. But her wrist is once again trapped.

"You don't look well. Come on, let's get you some fresh air," Livio says, heading towards one of the large glass doors.

She's often been described as naive by her loved ones. She believes that the whole world means well towards her, never suspects anyone of ill intentions. She would even say about herself that she has no instincts, let alone survival instincts. No sense of danger. Yet, perhaps for the first time in her life, something deep inside her is screaming not to follow the man. Her signals are on alert. Everything is flashing red in her mind. For her, it's a first. So, without thinking, without worrying about offending her colleague, she acts.

"I don't need to go outside," she says, trying to free herself from his grasp. She's sweating. She feels the unpleasant sensation of a thin layer of dampness creeping over her neck, her back, her hands.

Her feeble resistance is no match for Livio's strength, as he pulls her outside despite her protests. The music is too loud for anyone to hear their altercation. Divided between the buffet, the bar, and the dance floor, no one pays attention to this mismatched couple, to the determined man dragging a struggling woman behind him.

The door closes heavily behind them, stifling the sounds of the party, captured on the other side. It's cold outside, she feels it because her whole body shivers. But she, who was cold just a short while ago, feels like she's boiling. She raises her hand to her forehead, wiping away another bead of sweat that's formed between her eyebrows. What's happening to me? she thinks internally, troubled. Alcohol has never put her in such a state before.

"I'm so glad I ran into you tonight," Livio begins, either oblivious or indifferent to the young woman's condition.

She doesn't respond, feeling her head spinning, leaning against the wall behind her, gasping to try to catch her breath. Trying to control the burning heat that's engulfing her body.

"You look really beautiful tonight. Quite a change from the work overalls, huh!" the man continues.

She's not exactly sure at what moment he slipped between her legs, facing her, just a few centimeters from her face. But he's there, too close, forcing her to turn her head to the side to avoid his gaze - and his alcohol-laden breath.

"I said, you look really beautiful tonight," Livio says. "Are you not going to say anything?"

"What do you expect me to say to that?" she says, jaw clenched.

"Do you find me attractive?" the man asks, meeting her gaze.

The warning signals reappear along with the nausea. She barely has time to push the man away and lean to the side before emptying her stomach inches away from his feet. The naivety stops there. The pieces of the puzzle fall into place, realization hitting her painfully.

"What did you do to me?" she asks, her knees giving way under her weight, sending her crashing to the ground. He sneers, rolling his eyes, as she crawls a few meters, trying to put some distance between them. She's now sitting on the ground, her back to the wall.

"What? What are you talking about?" the Italian replies, offended.

"Did you put something in my drink?" she asks again.

"Come on, now. I've been helping you ever since you said you weren't feeling well. What kind of monster do you think I am?"

For a moment, her colleague's wounded look makes her seriously doubt herself. Maybe it really is just the alcohol, she thinks, trying to calm her racing mind. After all, why would someone deliberately choose to harm her? Why jump to that conclusion? Livio has always been charming. A bit clingy, but charming.

"I'm sorry for implying that. I'm gonna head back inside," she says, trying to stand up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Livio answers, pushing her back down.

"What? why?" she asks, surprised.

"It wouldn't be very wise to parade in front of your colleagues and superiors in such a poor state," the Italian begins, his tone almost mocking. "It really doesn't give a good impression of you. It's not very professional."

"I haven't done anything, just had a few drinks," she responds, annoyed. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"You're so wasted you can't even stand. At a work event. Do you want to get fired or something?"

She opens her mouth to speak, to defend herself, but no words come out. She can't seem to figure out if Livio is with her or against her anymore. His words are harsh, aggressive, but deep down, the engineer probably isn't wrong. She struggled to secure a position here, at Ferrari. Even though she believes herself to be fairly skilled at her job and puts in long hours, there are hundreds of others doing the same work as her every day. And hundreds more who could replace her if the need arose.

She's not indispensable. She's not even that good at speaking Italian, having always had more ease in English or in French, even though she spends the majority of her evenings reading books in the language. She's just a tiny cog in the machine. She thinks about Carlos, too. What would he think, seeing me stumbling in the middle of the dance floor like a mad woman?

"Let me drive you home," Livio says, extending his hand. "Spare you the embarrassment."

She hadn't realized how tired she was. The offer is rather tempting. Getting back to her apartment, her cat, her bed. Above all, escaping the crowd. Forgetting this evening. Forgetting whatever she thought there was with Carlos, too, while she's at it. As a stronger wave of sleep washes over her, she temporarily closes her eyes.

"Come on," he says. "Let's get you in the car."

After her brain, her legs refuse to cooperate too. Her body barricades itself, trying to keep her firmly sheltered. Losing patience, Livio hoists her up, throwing her over his shoulder. She wants to protest against the position she finds herself in. That's so unladylike. Her last few connected neurons grapple over strange thoughts. I hope nobody sees my underwear, she thinks before her brain disconnects once again.

She's so far gone, yet the next words sound crystal-clear in her ears.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Sounds like Carlos, she thinks, delirious.

"What does it look like to you? I'm bringing her home. She's wasted," she hears, and she thinks it might be Livio, because she feels his body shaking with each words.

"There's no way I'm letting you leave with her. Put her down."

"Yeah? So you can have your way with her?"

"No, so I can punch you in the fucking face," the accent-thick voice shouts.

She must have passed out for good because she doesn't remember anything else. When she wakes up next, which feels like an eternity later, she's sitting against a wall, this time indoors, wrapped in a golden emergency blanket. There's no more music. Opening one eye, then the next, she's met with Carlos' brown ones. She tries to speak but her mouth feels dry. The Spaniard hands her a glass of water, helping her bring it to her lips.

"I somehow managed to look even worse," she jokes, reminiscing their earlier encounter.

"The paramedics have just arrived. They're going to take you to the hospital for a check-up," he says and she nods.

"Thank you, Carlos," she replies.

"I haven't done the half of what I would have wanted," he says, regret filling his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"This has to be the worst timing ever, but I... I actually wanted to ask you out, before Charles interrupted us and before, well... this," he says, gesturing around them.

He doesn't see it, but hidden under the blanket, she pinches her arm. Hard. Just to make sure she won't wake up a second time. Seeing that nothing changes, she lets out a little laugh.

"If you wanted me to wear that silky green dress, I'm so sorry, but I ruined it in the washer."

"You can wear a garbage bag for all I care," Carlos replies, looking at her fondly. "You'll still stand out in the crowd."

[boyfhee]

JAKE BF HEADCANONS

g fluff w kissing if that counts, very slightly suggestive fem reader wc 1.2k note calling my jaketuals requested

rewind to when you guys are just friends, he still has your standards raised to the heaven

your friends ask why you don't have a crush and you're like, i have sim jaeyun, and it has it's own pros and cons because half of the time, people assume you two are dating

the other half, it's you wishing you two were dating

basically, he's prefect!!!! always texts you good morning and good night, reminds you to drink water and take care of yourself. if you're sick or unwell, he's at your door with your favourite snacks before you even know it

AND IT ONLY GETS WORSE WHEN YOU TWO START DATING!!!!! the clingiest boyfriend ever, and he's so sweet, always greets you with kisses and hugs

he PANICS when you get sick like nurse more : on

you have to force him to stop kissing you because you don't want him to get sick as well and he gets so pouty ?? he's sulking at you from a distance

still ends up kissing you and says you two are meant to be when you both get sick together with the most lovesick smile ( insert a sneeze )

BACK HUGS, he always sneaks up and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting kisses on your cheeks, all the way down to your neck

melts when you giggle as he does that :‹ your voice is music to his ears and you laughter is soty ( his words, not mine ) does silly things to make you laugh especially when you're feeling down because if you're sad then he's sad :(

you guys will have to cuddle at least twice a day it's an unwritten rule. he says every second not spent with you poses harm to his health

but in reality, he just likes having you close to him, nuzzling his face in your neck and shoulders, brushing his lips against your skin while his hands are caressing your waist

whispers compliments to you when you both cuddle :›

“you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen,” “i'm so lucky to have to, angel” “god, you're so perfect, i want to kiss you all over”

he's so crazy about you. . .like even jay knows how you like your drinks and your go to order at your favourite cafe :/ basically jake talks about you 24/7 to his members like a madman

LITERALLY SULKS WHEN HE MISSES YOU!!!! like catch him lying lazily on the couch with a frown, looking at his phone screen because he didn't get to talk to your before the stage

but when you face time him, he literally goes :D like the brightest smile ever on his face ㅠㅠ you're his good luck charm!!!!

when you visit their practice, he sneaks out with you to hangout but everyone knows you two are probably making out in a corner or something

hands on your thighs whenever you're sitting next to him, especially when he's driving

you end up on his lap and god, he loves to kiss your neck when you're on his lap

talking about kisses and making out. . .he gets so flustered when his lips get stained by your lipstick

LIKE CATCH HIM BLUSHING??? but also he teases you and tries to play it cool

“aw, look at you jake, you’re blushing,” “so what, huh? you were even redder when i was kissing you,” “pretty sure i can get those reactions out of you again, angel,”

sharing earphones with jake is a love language and you both just smile at each other with your hands intertwined together listening to your shared playlist

one would think he likes searching up new songs out of his profession but actually, it's because he wants to find songs that you would like, would try out new genres especially the one that fit your taste and gets so smiley when you tell him that you liked one of the songs he recommended

like you actually like the song he recommended??? you're adding it to your fav songs playlist??? he's getting on his knees and proposing

sometimes, he even sends you the samples of the group's upcoming songs knowing he's legally not allowed to do so

KISS SELFIES omfg jake has crazy mirror selfies but the kiss selfies especially the mirror ones are the craziest

hates to be away from you so when he's on trip, catching him text you all day

“the sky reminds me of you today,” [ attachment : one image of the sky with silly doodles ] “i miss you, my love,” “next time, you’re coming on the tour with us,”

gets kinda insane. . .like the withdrawal symptoms are getting to him

once again, his members are tired of him talking about you

like sunoo is asking which cap he should get and jake is looking at him with the :o face, holding to bucket hats asking which one would look better on you

their opinion doesn't matter because gets both of them, he just likes buying gifts for you, no matter how big or small they are

you may or may not know this but jake takes so many candid pictures of you, and most of them are when you're snuggling into him while sleeping, or busy cooking something or when you're watching your favourite tv so ever so attentively

has a quarter life crisis every three to five business while picking which pic of yours should go as his wallpaper next because you look gorgeous in all of them

calls you layla's mom and of course he's layla's dad so you both are married and parents, or so he says

jake has his whole life planned with you like that man is more delusional than you think, but it's also because he sees you at every single point in his future, he's more than sure about the two of you

ALSO he wakes you up in the cutest way

like forehead and cheek kisses while he pulls you closer, whispering the sweetest good morning to you ( you are NOT waking up lmfao )

knows cuddling you while trying to wake up is going to make you sleep more but he can't help it, you look too cute for him to not cuddle with you early in the morning

helps you make breakfast, it's like a tradition to cook together, and then he feeds you as an excuse for you to taste his dishes

when he's feeling a little flirty he will cage you between his arms, against the counter and will lean in really close— but he doesn't kiss you. you can feel his warm breath on your lips and you can feel his lips brush ever so softly against yours but he does not kiss you

and when he does, the breakfast is long forgotten— because you're sitting on the counter with him standing between your legs and his hands on your waist, he's kissing you like you're going to disappear the next minute, savouring every single feeling

basically, kisses with jake start as fluttering giggles and soft traces of his lips against yours but they leave you breathless in just a few minutes

sends you random videos and memes, also when you two are watching the same dramas, he texts you his live reactions

“omfg i need them to get together” “they’re so cute . me and who,” “THYE KISSED OHMYGODSDSKJFH IM CROYGIN OTP FR” “now i want to kiss you too im coming over,”

IM TELLING YOU aquarium dates are his favourites

gets so giddy looking at the fishes, but he's mostly staring at you and enjoying your reactions

buys promise rings on your first anniversary and loves staring at your ring when you two are holding hands

also kisses your hands especially above your ring, he just can't believe he gets to call you his

listens to you so attentively and tucks your hair behind your ear because it's distracting, and goes '???' when you get flustered and pause all of a sudden

you have his all his pcs and enhypen's signed albums because gf privileges with jake are real

one time, you were lucky enough to get a fan call with him and boy spend the whole time professing his love to you

overall an outstanding bf, highly recommended

[cupidsdolll]

pairings: boyfriend!mafia!Harry x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

summary: Harry's known for being ruthless in the way he does his job, a day out with his girlfriend takes a horrible turn.

content warnings. IMPORTANT: hurt no comfort. blood, guns, knifes, and death. please read with caution

authors note: this has to be the darkest story i've written and i just want to say please read with caution, don't read if you are uncomfortable with any of the warning written above. minors please don't interact. this may or may not have a second part following the aftermath.

----

It wasn’t supposed to end this way. 

Everything seems to go wrong one after another and Harry blames himself. If he hadn’t been so reckless, had been paying more attention he would’ve seen it coming. He figured they’d come for him eventually, there’s no denying that part. He had enemies, there’s no doubt about that. It just comes with the job, or the title he would say. Being a head boss of his huge mafia crew, he’s bound to have enemies because of the fact that he’s relentless in his ways. 

He doesn’t waste time with questions that most people ask before killing someone, he gathers the information beforehand and watches them before making his move. He’s mean in his acts, likes to torture them and prolong the pain before quickly putting them out of the misery (he just doesn’t like to hear their screams.) He’ll beat them and laugh while doing it, mocking their cries while he tortures them. He’s well known around the United States, his name sending fear through most people that hear it. No one wants to deal with him, to end up on his bad side, while other mafias will send their catch to him sometimes if one of their employees doesn't want to do it. He’s popular with the other bosses, constantly being invited to any events and to teach but he declines, it’s simply a waste of his time. 

While his hard exterior scares off anyone in sight, there’s one person who broke down his walls and quite frankly is  the complete opposite of him. While he’s all black and grumpy, she’s soft and sunshine-y, all bows and giggles and sweet smelling perfume. She doesn’t hang around him while he’s “Mafia Harry,” usually out shopping or baking or whatever because she can’t stand blood or seeing anyone get hurt though she understands why he does what he does. His men think he’s crazy half of the time, the amount of times they’ve walked into him smiling on the phone (when he’s not bossing his men around, barking orders over the phone or beating someone to a pulp) or chuckling to himself at certain points of the day is concerning to them. 

He doesn’t talk about his personal life to them aside from his closest man on the team, EJ who has heard bits and pieces about Harry’s girlfriend, his other men don’t get paid to listen to him gush on and on about the girl of his dreams. They whisper amongst themselves about how he’s smoked too much or needs to cut back on drinking and drugs and whatever else he does, they think it’s all gone to his head. None of them bring it up to him though, they know better than to do so. After all, he is the one that signs their checks and he treats them well enough that they don’t want to mess up any chances of keeping their job. They just don’t understand how their grumpy and uncaring boss can be so smiley and happy, especially before he has to take care of someone. 

He keeps her away from his job for a reason, there’s no need for anyone to see her, to know that he does in fact have a weakness. He doesn’t want to take a chance of a mole coming in and reporting to their boss about her. His main focus is protecting her and making her happy, always having her sporting his favorite smile. Besides, she’s too pretty to be around all the gruff men and blood and screams. He doesn’t want to tarnish her in any way, he loves her just the way she is and he refuses to be the one to ruin her view of the world. He doesn’t want her to end up like him, all grumpy and somewhat pessimistic of the world and always on the edge whenever he leaves the house. He wants her to keep laughing and cooing at cute animals they pass by, wants her to feel comfortable enough with him to always be able to shut her brain off and just follow him aimlessly. 

He’s a busy man, constantly having to answer phone calls and texts and emails and double checking surveillance videos to make sure they have the right guy, but he tries his best to leave work at the door when it’s just the two of them. He wants to be able to just enjoy the time together and not have to worry about who he needs to find next, wants to be able to look at her smiling and be content with that. He wants to enjoy their time together, doesn’t want to be distracted with his work duties and the constant sound of his phone dinging. 

They normally would just hang out at the house, watching whatever tv show either of them were interested in or just lounging around. That’s one of the main things that he loves about her is that she’s content with just existing with him, his past partner wanted to go out all of the time and party. He didn’t necessarily mind it, but he prefers to just unwind and relax on his off days; he just wanted to have a sense of normalcy, the peace amidst his chaos and his storms. That’s what happened when he met her. It was a cute little meeting that Harry still brings up quite frequently and is one of Y/N’s favorite memories of them. 

Harry was having a bad day, it all seemed to go wrong. While he’s always grumpy, he woke up especially grumpy that morning and of course he tried his best to not take it out on his employees, but of course still ended up being overly sarcastic with them, grumbling about whatever they did that upset him so he decided to make a trip to just breathe. He grabbed his jacket, hat and sunglasses and quickly let EJ know he’s leaving and he’s in charge for the meantime. He walked for what seemed like hours before he landed on a small coffee shop, a small run down looking building with plants in almost every corner and empty space. He figures this might help with his grumpy mood so he walks inside, the smell of coffee and different pastries fill his nose immediately, the sound of the different conversations happening all at once and the soft piano music coming from the speakers fill the space and his ears. 

He ordered a drink out of his normal, one that was recommended by EJ’s girlfriend actually, a tall white chocolate mocha with just a drizzle of caramel and it has to be iced. Those were her words exactly, it won’t taste as good if he doesn’t order it exactly how she says it.  The lady looked at him weird, a concerned glance that only says she knows how to do her job so she’d appreciate it if he didn’t doubt her abilities. He only gives her a nasty glare in return, one that flusters her so she walks away mumbling to herself as she starts making the order. He then walks to one of the nearby walls, leaning against it as his eyes scan the room and taking in the different personalities, mainly doing this to be aware of who else in the room with him (as if anyone who’s in the mafia would be ordering coffee, let alone from the same cheap looking building that he’s in,) but still just in case. 

Not even a couple minutes later, his order is being called out and he walks up to the register once more, hoping this will help his grumpy mood. He wasn’t paying as much attention as he should’ve been though, otherwise he would’ve known that this wasn’t his order actually. As he went to grab the cup of coffee, another hand reached out as well, one that was smaller and softer. Painted nails and a few rings on the fingers, and he immediately looks up with a scowl ready to tell the person off. It was his drink after all, what were they thinking? When he looked up, he was met with a soft apologetic smile and the prettiest of eyes, her hair held back with a big bow and an outfit to match. She smelt like heaven if that was a smell, sweet smelling and strong; a scent that matched her aura perfectly, although Harry wouldn’t call it her aura, he didn’t know the right word to describe it. 

He couldn’t go off on her, it’d be cruel and he’s not that mean, so he just stares at her. She immediately begins to fidget with her hands and he can tell he’s intimidating her. 

“I’m so so sorry! I just assumed this one was mine because I was here before you, but you can go ahead and take it!” She says through a breath, her eyes wide and face flushed. He furrowed his eyebrows at her, he doesn’t understand why she’s giving away her coffee if it’s true. He’s not gonna just take someone else’s coffee no matter his mood. 

“No, no go ahead. If you were here first then I’m not gonna just take it.” He says as he pushes the cup closer to her, he can feel the unnecessary glare from the worker at the whole interaction and it only irritates him further. 

“Are you sure? You seem very…um…. Grumpy and I’d hate to make your day worse.” She says as she pushes the cup towards him. 

This is all very silly, the whole situation. He’s just trying to be a gentleman and she can’t grasp that. He then grabs the cup and puts it in her hand, forcing a smile to seem as if he’s friendly and not trying to hide his frustration. 

“I’m serious, I don’t even know if I’ll like mine, it was a suggestion from a… friend of mine I guess. Enjoy it before it gets watery.” He says, but he doesn’t understand why he’s being so nice to her. Maybe because she’s pretty? But he doesn’t want to date her, he can’t afford to waste his time like this anymore.  She ends up telling him her name and asking a couple of questions to try to make small talk and unfortunately for Harry she’s fairly easy to talk to. They talk until his drink is ready, and then some more out the door as they walk to their destinations and then she has the confidence to ask for his number, which of course (and against his better judgment) he agrees. 

After that it’s pretty smooth sailing, conversations whenever they have the time, and of course a little white lie whenever she asks about what he does for work. Months later, Harry found himself asking her to be his girlfriend and of course she said yes. They usually spend their time lounging around and just existing in each other’s company, but today Y/N wanted to go for a little walk around the town. Normally Harry would be against it, especially when it’s right after he just took care of a member of a rival mafia who’s higher up on the scale and he knows he has several mad enemies looking for revenge. But Harry had thought that he’d been doing a good job hiding her from the public, having her dress as one of his men or wearing some sort of disguise after he told her the gist of what he actually does, so he doesn’t think much of it. He agrees but tells her they can only be out for half an hour, no more just to be on the safe side. She squeals excitedly before tugging on her shoes and throwing on one of his jackets and basically drags him out of their apartment. 

She shows him a couple of her favorite spots in town and gives him her favorite orders and practically begs for him to try, he will always try anything she wants. They talk quietly, wrapped in their own little bubble of bliss and this was Harry’s biggest mistake. He’s usually very attentive whenever they’re out and about, but he allowed himself to be distracted listening to her talk. She’s excited as she talks about some outfit she wants to get for the pet they don’t have, her eyes all bright and full of excitement. The air is warm against their skin and the clouds begin to roll in, dark and menacing and this is where Harry should’ve begun to take a hint. 

Things seemed too calm, aside from the storm beginning to roll in. It seemed too quiet, and then the rain began to fall. Small droplets of water cooled their skin and Y/N smiled brightly at the sky, silently thanking the universe because she always likes walking in the rain. It just always seemed so romantic to her. Harry didn’t think too much of it though he was still cautious. His eyes still scanned over the sidewalks and streets, trying to stay alert of his surroundings. He watched as Y/N tugged her jacket closer to her, a signal that she’s getting too cold but she’s always been too stubborn to let him know, she just enjoys being outside too much. 

He just assumed that time would be on his side with all of it, and had enough time to somehow throw the Gallegos family off of his tracks long enough to not have to be on edge anytime he’s out. He hates it whenever he feels as if he’s putting Y/N in harm's way, hates the feeling it gives him knowing he’s the reason she can’t just walk down the street or just even exist in this world. He’s too scared of someone linking her to him and then taking her away. Y/N says she doesn’t mind all that much, this is the happiest and the most taken care of she’s been in a really long time. As long as they’re both happy and safe, then she could care less. 

Harry didn’t see it coming. The breeze was picking up and the rain was coming down harder, thunder began to boom in the sky. The storm was coming, and it was coming fast. Everyone was scrambling to get indoors or to their cars and Y/N’s just smiling but still walking fast, she hates being too wet for too long. They were bumping into one another and Harry walked a beat behind her, just in case she happened to trip or anything. There was a slight commotion happening in front of them, the sound of gasps and the shuffling of feet as they were pushed to the side. Before long a man is running at them, a hood hiding his face and wearing baggy clothes. Harry still doesn’t think too much of it, maybe a burglary or he upset a store owner, but he’s still cautious. He walks closer to Y/N, his face turning mean in an attempt to deter the man from bothering them. It’s useless though, a good attempt at best but the man moves closer and Harry frowns. He wraps an arm around his girl and begins to move her onto the other side but the man is already right beside them, still moving. 

He’s an arm's length away and before anyone can realize it a knife is entering Y/N’s side and she’s groaning and leaning over. Harry can’t believe it, he frowns deeply and his eyes scan over her. He picks her up and begins to make his way through the crowd to find an empty spot, to make sure they’re safe before anything else happens. There’s more gasps and murmurs around them, more than likely the bystanders either assume he did it or they’re just shocked. It’s not every day that you see blood pouring out of someone. Right before Harry can get them into an alleyway and when he clicks on his ear piece to alert EJ about what’s happening, a gunshot sounds and the bullet goes into Y/N’s head, her blood splattering over his clothes and onto his face. 

He hurries into the alleyway, tears streaming down his face as he stares in disbelief. 

“EJ here, what’s up boss?” EJ’s voice comes through Harry’s earpiece. 

“EJ, they found me. They hurt her. I need you to get into all the security cameras on the strip and find out who did it, search for snipers as well. One Knifed her and someone else shot her,” His voice cracks on every word. He gently sets her down onto the ground near the wall, once he feels as if they’re far enough. Hidden enough by the shadows of the buildings but with just enough light to see the damage. 

It seemed as if the sky screamed with Harry. 

The rain was pouring down heavily, the clouds dark and the wind was unforgiving as it blew harshly against the trees and the ground below them. The lighting strikes were loud, bright flashes of light burst from the sky randomly and loud rumbles of thunder were deep in his ears. Mother Nature has to be upset as well, crying with and for Harry and his loss. He can’t believe it, the love of his life. Gone. Her breathing is shallow and her eyes are just barely opened, she doesn’t have much life left. 

“You fucking promised! You can’t leave me! Don’t hurt me like this… please” Harry’s voice cracks as he sobs over the body in his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, mama. I’m so fucking sorry, you didn’t deserve this and it’s all my fault. I knew me being in your life was a bad idea but I couldn’t help it. You made me so fucking happy, the happiest I’ve been in a while. You deserved nothing but happiness and smiles, you shouldn’t have to worry about hiding. I was selfish and I’ll forever blame myself, I should’ve let you go. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you, please. You can’t leave me. I need you.” He cries, his words are muffled into her neck, somehow hoping him speaking into her body will magically bring her back to life, keep her alive. He can’t hear anything aside from his own sobs, everyone else doesn’t matter to him at this moment. He’s sure that EJ is trying to talk to him, but he can only focus on the fact that he’ll never be able to hold her again. 

He’ll never be able to hear her laugh again. He holds her tighter to him, his tears landing in her skin and he screams. He screams and screams forever, he doesn’t care that he’s gaining attention from the people walking by. He doesn’t  care that they’re calling the police and ambulances, doesn’t care that he could be attracting his enemies. They took the only thing he truly cared for. He knows he’ll never be able to love again. There’s a few people trying to help, ask if he needs anything. Offering to take them to the hospital, even the paramedics can’t get to her. He won’t let them take her away from him, he can’t bear it. He can’t imagine a life away from her. They’re trying to convince him that she needs to go to the hospital, trying to take her from his hold. He just holds her limp body tighter, crying harder and yells at them. 

Eventually they’re able to calm him down enough to remove her from his hold and they begin to transfer her to the ambulance. 

“Don’t bother taking her to the hospital. Just take her to the morgue. She’s dead. There’s no saving her.” He says as he wipes his tears, everyone just stares at him. 

“Please.” He says and just walks through them, he doesn’t have it in him to argue. Right now, he has a mission. He’s determined to get revenge. 

He now has no reason to not hold back anymore, and he plans on finding each and every one from that group. 

He’s not going to play nice, and he’s going to take his dear sweet time. If they thought he was crazy and ruthless already, he’s going to prove that he’s insane now.

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (final timeline)

Warnings: suggestive, swearing, mentions of grooming (it's not serious), the word "pedophile"

Desc: a discussion about pride month takes a detour

Kazutora: what does pride month mean?

Kazutora: like is everyone supposed to be gay for the month or?

Mikey: yeah exactly

Mikey: basically we all have to kiss each other

Kazutora: oh

Baji: we can do a circle jerk session to start off pride

Mitsuya: Kazutora, don't ask just google it

Kazutora: what's a circle jerk session

Mitsuya: 😒

Mikey: i don't think it's necessary to go that far, Baji

Smiley: some of us, are in relationships

Baji: why did you say that as if you're the one in a relationship?

Smiley: just defending my guy Draken

Mikey: Ken-chin will you still be at pride even if you have a girlfriend

Draken: i mean, i guess.

Baji: does Emma even know you like boys

Baji: nvm she probably does. she did have to compete with Mikey for your attention so idk maybe it's obvious

Chifuyu: are you guys actually going to the pride parade? it's gonna be on tv i'm pretty sure

Chifuyu: which means people from school would see us

Chifuyu: or work

Mikey: we haven't been in school for years?

Baji: are you scared to be found out Chifuyu

Baji: bcs everyone knew in school

Baji: you made it glaringly obvious

Baji: closet made of glass and whatnot

Chifuyu: does it count as actually being gay if it's one guy tho

Chifuyu: like if i cook one time, am i chef?

Chifuyu: something to think about

Mikey: dude you're in a relationship with him, what are you talking about🤨

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun you're actually pretty famous so a lot of people would recognize you

Mikey: i'm pretty sure people know that i've tasted the rainbow

Mikey: people make edits of me and Ken-chin

Mikey: they're pretty cute

Mikey: people also write fanfiction about me

Mikey: guys do i look like a daddy dom

Mikey: serious question

Mikey: could i pull it off

Draken: what are edits?

Mikey: don't worry about it

Draken: no no, Emma was bugging me about it earlier and i had no idea what she was talking about so just tell me

Baji: search "Doramai edits"

Baji: don't know how Emma's dealing with all that

Mikey: Takemitchy are you and Hina coming

Takemitchy: can allies come?

Baji: "ally"

Baji: that's all you are??

Baji: sure

Takemitchy: ?

Draken: what the fuck is this shit

Draken: how do you report this

Draken: this is all taken out of context

Draken: Mikey you need to release a statement about this. what the fuck

Draken: i have a wife

Kazutora: guys i'm still confused

Izana: can you guys please use your own private little groupchat

Izana: no one, of the 15+ people on this group talk, but you 6

Mikey: are you and Kakucho coming to pride

Izana: stop ignoring what i just said

Mikey: do you and Kakucho explore each others bodies?

Baji: who tops?

Baji: nvm, wrong question. who doms?

Ran: if Kakucho and Izana were to be together romantically it would count as grooming

Ran: just putting that out there

Mikey: so what i'm hearing is that Izana is a PEDOPHILE🤔

Mikey: interesting

Mikey: i'm telling Shin

Izana: oh you're telling Shin? i'm so fucking scared

Izana: kill yourself

Mikey: please don't try me. i WILL do it🙏

Draken: wait are you guys actually together? cause that's an actual problem i'm pretty sure

Draken: wasn't he 14 while you were 18

Ran: i'm sorry Izana, that's my bad, didn't mean to make this a thing

Ran: and in his defense, that was 10 years ago

Rindou: 10 years of grooming

Rindou: sorry, i wanted in on the joke but it just looks bad

Mikey: Izana why aren't you defending yourself

Izana: because Kakucho and i aren't in a romantic relationship? i don't know what the fuck you guys are on about

Hakkai: didn't the Haitani's go look for Emma at her middle school when she was 13 and they were 17 because they heard rumours about Mikey's "hot" younger sister

Ran: we didn't know she was 13 😐

Rindou: she was 12, actually

Baji: why did you double down

Ran: jesus christ

Ran: 12??

Ran: we still didn't know

Chifuyu: literally all pedophiles say that

Mikey: i beg your pardon

Mikey: why were you guys looking for Emma

Rindou: people said she was hot

Rindou: those people were definitely pedophiles, yeah

Rindou: which we aren't, btw

Rindou: we saw her coming out of the sixth grade classes and realized we'd didn't get enough information

Rindou: our bad

Baji: what would Ran be doing with Emma anyway

Baji: aren't you gay

Ran: no?

Baji:

Mikey: why would you add that question mark Ran

Mikey: why are you acting suprised that people think you're gay when you act like that

Rindou: sorry Ran i can't defend you on this one

Ran: is it cause i'm flamboyant?

Draken: who describes themselves like that man

Ran: Koko's flamboyant

Ran: do you guys accuse him of homosexuality?

Ran: nvm

Chifuyu: i was about to say

Koko: well actually

Koko: i am a bisexual man

Koko: i like men and women

Koko: the man i like is inupi

Koko: we are in a relationship

Inupi: you didn't have to do all of that dude

Inupi: but thanks 👍❤

Koko: i am out and proud

Smiley: i know this is supposed to be sweet but this isn't the place to do this shit😭

Draken: are you guys going to therapy? good on you guys

Ran: didn't you like his sister?

Rindou: she died

Rindou: keeping it in the family i see. i respect it Koko

Ran: that doesn't mean what you think it means

Takemitchy: Rindou why would you say that

Smiley: the Haitani's are weird as fuck

Smiley: can we kick them out

Ran: at least we're not ugly

Rindou: and we aren't even weird

Smikey: i'm fucking adorable, don't play with me

Inupi: Akane isn't dead. what are you talking about

Rindou: the fire

Mikey: what fire😐

Mikey: the fire never happened. i made sure of it

Inupi: what?

Rindou: nvm y'all, i'm tripping

Rindou: i suddenly got a vision of Inupi with a huge scar on his face

Rindou: and his sister being dead

Ran: i told you to stop spending time with Sanzu

Ran: he's schizophrenic

Rindou: schizophrenia isn't contagious🤨?

Rindou: and i don't think he's schizophrenic i think he has autism or some shit

Ran: 2 very different mental illnesses??

Rindou: he has the evil kind

Ran: what?

Rindou: evil autism

Rindou: like he weaponizes it

Ran: that literally doesn't make sense

Rindou: it makes perfect sense, fym

Sanzu: i'm not schizophrenic?

Sanzu: or autistic?

Rindou: sure buddy

Mikey: IT'S AUTISM

Mikey: BAJI, IT'S AUTISM

Baji: what's autism?

Mikey: what's up with Haruchiyo!!

Baji: isn't he just gay?

Ran: why is that your conclusion to everything?

Ran: i'm starting to think you're the gay one

Baji: i've never denied that🤨?

Ran: oh

[crxshed-skxlls]

— ❝ Dual Purpose

Masky x fem!reader x Hoodie

Word count: 3k+

Plot: During a surprise home invasion from two strangers (Masky/Hoodie), they can't stop arguing on who is better than the other. Soon, Hoodie hatches the bright idea as you to be the judge...

NSFW tags: Threesome, Exhibitionism, degradation, biting/choking, oral sex (M & F receiving), bondage, rough sex, knife play, dacryphilia, dubcon, tongue piercing, overstimulation

TW warning// physical violence is used once (never again after)

Note: Sequel coming very soon... 👀

You weren't expecting any of this. Well, you didn't expect the bickering persay. Your wrists were tied to uncomfortable zip-ties as you watch as these two strangers bicker like high school children. Though they were definitely contrasting in personality. The masked figure seemed more cautious, calculated, and irritable. The hooded man was the opposite, a slacker and pretty compulsive from the looks of it.

" You know I'm better with handling the possessions, you just deal with her. "

" Tch. Good my ass. Your shit at this. Last break in you tripped and fell on your ass. "

" Quit bickering and do your job, smartass. Just deal with her. "

The mask man growls, gesturing to you. You shiver with fear, not daring to utter a complaint. The other, a hooded man, had threatened to gut you if you made a sound. The creepy smiley face then looked down at you as the Masked man starts walking. It seemed the Masked stranger was more cautious with his work, while the hood slacked off. You noted this from their body language and the way they interacted this past 5 minutes. It wasn't long until the hooded figure looks as the other carefully examines your living room drawers, rustling like he was looking for treasure. Hoodie then looks back at you.

" Do you wanna bet, Timo--? "

" Don't utter that fucking name. You know better than to reveal that, Hoodie. "

The masked stranger whips around and barks with a husky tone. If you weren't so scared for your life, you would think that the man was a tiny bit attractive. Though, you at least earned a name. The name seemed simple enough, "Hoodie" for a hooded stranger. You keep attentive though, watching as the hooded figure cracks a sigh. You clear your throat though, wondering sarcastically if the others name was "Masky or something".

" Why does it matter? It's not like shes going to live another day, Masky. "

Wow. Color you shocked; you got the name right -- but that didn't stop you from shakily whimpering at the words. Not going to live another day rang in your ears as they continued. Masky narrows his eyes, letting out an exhausted sigh.

" What are you playing at? "

" How about we end this debate with a judge? "

At this point, you and Masky seem to tense in a confused glance at Hoodie. You attentively perks up at the word... What was Hoodie playing at? The yellow hooded man seems to chuckle under his mask, tentively fiddling with the knife as he steps forward once. Masky seems to examine the other.

" Now that I got your attention.. I have an idea. "

" Hoodie, I don't have time for your shit ideas. Spit it out. "

" Okay, okay -- jesus. I noticed you have been very tense recently, such as I... Sooo-- "

He interrupts his speech as he steps towards you. Your heart skips a beat as you try to scoot away, but hoodie crouches and catches your face with a gloved hand. Masky's eyes turn towards you and Hoodie with a look hidden under his mask. Hoodie makes you turn your head fully to Masky in a teasing manner.

" What if we let off some steam? "

" Wh-- why-- "

Masky's eyes widen as he catches on the idea. You are left in the dark as the two exchange looks. Masky shuts the drawer, not breaking his gaze. Hoodie snickers, soon turning your head to him. Your face was inches from his as he keeps his hand dug into your cheeks. You grunt at the pain, attempting to move but failing.

" You can't be serious. "

" C'mon.. She's quite a doll, dont you think? I think she would be the perfect Judge. "

You soon catch on to the idea with wide eyes. To start to squirm slightly, kicking Hoodie's leg. Hoodie hisses as he releases your face. He cursed out as he soon kicks back with much more force. The kick lands on your stomach, a pained cry comes from you. The stinging pain causes you to fall over. Masky looks at you, and you lock eye contact. You already had tears well up into your eyes, almost like a hurt puppy. You watch as Masky's throat bobbed as he gulps, breaking eye contact to look at Hoodie. The hooded man glares through his mask at you, making you flinch in fear.

" You don't get to answer yet, bitch. "

" Hoodie, this isn't a good idea. "

" What? Is the ugly duckling chicken? "

Hoodie taunts, making Masky groan at the comment. Masky looks at him, then at you again. The masked man sighs, ruffling his hair in what seemed to be frustration. You shake your head, tears spilling from your eyes as you curl up against the wall. You hopped that they weren't being serious, but at the same time you remained unsure from the two. You feel your stomach bubble weirdly, and not from the painful kick from earlier. Hoodie groans at your cries in a both annoyance and arousal. You peak up to see Hoodie's mask pulled up enough to show half of his face. You examine his tough jawline and his faint mustache. What made you flutter in a weird, sick way was the shit-eating grin on his face.

" So? What's it going to be? "

" ... What do I get in return? If I win. "

Masky cautiously mused, throwing up sarcastic quote hands at the "win" part. Hoodie's grin becomes a wicked smile.

" Now we're talking.. You get bragging rights and a chance to unwind. I mean -- who would let a good doll go to waste like this? She's so pathetic. "

You whine at the comment, causing the two to glance at you. Your trembling, looking up with pleading eyes as you watch the two.

" Please -- "

" What did I say, whore? "

Hoodie growls as he flicks his knife into your sight, his hand going for your face before --

" I'll do it!! "

You yell out as you quickly shut your eyes. You expect a stinging feeling, or a plunge of a foreign object.. However your met with a frozen silence. You peeked an eye open, noticing the two stranger's expressions. Hoodie stopped in place, the knife mere inches from your face as his mouth is slightly agape with surprise. Masky's eyes are wide with the same surprise.

" ... What - What did you say? "

" I - I'll be the judge. Just- Just please don't kill me. "

You stutter and plee with the hooded figure. Shock soon turned into cocky, unadulterated amusement on the man's face. Hoodie slowly turns to Masky with an astonished laugh. His knife lowers from your face as you open your other eye, watching.

" Even better. We got an attractive freakshow to toy with. C'mon Tim, let loose. "

" What did I tell you, Brian.. "

" Hey! Relax. What's she gonna do, kill us? "

Tim and Brian.. Those names echo before Masky-- or Tim steps and joins the other man as he stands. They both look over you, their oogling making you feel small. Hoodie's smirk fades to a smile, flicking his pocket knife shut. Your almost relieved -- until he started speaking.

" Get up. I'll give the honors of Tim going first. "

You quickly attempt to get up, only for you to stumble as your shaky legs betray you. Hoodie giggles like a little boy as he watches you struggle, but Masky's pants tell more than his mask with this situation. You noticed the thick part stick out of his tight pants, revealing just how aroused he was. Hoodie soon turns around, seeming to go shove everything off your living room table. You flinch at the sound, only for Hoodie to motion you over. You pass Masky was you wobble over, his eyes boring into you attentively as he turns. You stop for a minute, making Hoodie's mouth form into a disgruntled line. You open your lips, and with a careful voice --

" I have one- one request. "

You emphasize the one as you speak, hoping that the two wouldn't attempt to silence you. Hoodie takes a moment to think, before sighing with a groan.

" Hhh- what is it? "

" I- I want to see your faces. "

" ... What-- "

The two men incline harmoniously, but you quickly intercept anything after that. You utter a wait as you step closer, your lips quivering slightly in nervousness.

" You want me to judge, right? We- Well I want to be able- able to judge you both thoroughly... "

You explain with a harsh breath. Your brain screamed against your actions-- logic telling you that you were insane for the request. Though, your body and fluttering adrenaline said otherwise. The two men exchange looks, only before looking at you again. You stand there as you hear Masky's footsteps, shivering as he stands behind you. Hoodie grins slightly. Your face flushes a pale pink, your tied hands balling into fists as they continued to stare.

" You really are a freak, huh? "

" mm-- mhm.. "

" ... Fine. "

" Do I get a say in this?? "

Masky scoffs, obviously defensive of his mask. Though, Hoodie takes off his mask. Your eyes widen as you lock eyes with Hoodie. He cocks an eyebrow, smirking at the small reaction.

" Tim, C'mon. It's not that bad. "

" No. "

He sternly replies, shoving you towards the brunette. You struggle to catch yourself, stumbling as you attempt to stand straight. Hoodie sighs with a tsk, taking you by the shoulders and moving you to sit down on your wood table. You look up at him, his smug look making you red in the face. He laughs at you, not even Noticing Masky next to you both.

" God, your a whore. Getting all hot and bothered by two strangers? Though, I'm flattered. "

He degrades you as he takes steps back. He looks at Masky, a grin on his stubble face. Masky looks on as Hoodie maneuvers on the other side of the small table, sitting on your sofa.

" Go on, you can start the show. Show us what you got, big boy. "

" Don't ever call me that again. "

Masky cringes by the taunt, only to get in front of you. His tall stature makes you more wobbly, watching as he takes off his gloves. He throws them on the floor, soon snaking a hand under your shirt as he stares into your eyes. You tense at his rough, calloused hands as you watch. Hoodie carefully watches. Masky seems to hesitate about something, only before going to your ear.

" Close your eyes. "

Masky whispers in a hushed voice. Your eyes narrow a little bit in curiosity before you feel Masky's hand rubbed your love handles. You finally take a breath as you look at the stranger.

" What? "

" Close your eyes. If you want more, close your eyes. "

You couldn't tell if this was a hint for consent, or he was genuine about it. Either way, you cautiously close your eyes. He seems to reward you with your compliance, hearing the sound of plastic drop to the table and Masky giggles. You gasp as you feel a nibble on your earlobe, sending tingles of weird pleasure down your body.

" Good, Good... Keep them closed until my say, understand? "

" What are you whispering about? Get on with it. "

Hoodie whines, but Masky ignores him. You nod in understanding before you feel Masky take off your shirt. You keep your eyes closed as you shiver at the feeling of lips on your neck. You can hear the faint sound of a click noise, and it seems to irritate Masky as he mutters out something between kisses. You dont dare open your eyes, but you are wondering what Hoodie is planning.. Or at least doing. Your thoughts are interrupted though as Masky takes off your shirt, the cold air of the room hitting your hot skin. Masky pushes you on the table, causing you to let out small gasp. You were now in your black, laced bra you always wore around the house. You hear Hoodie let out a hushed moan, making you want desperately want to see what he is up to. Masky continues his work, and you open your legs for him as his tongue dragged along your neck and his hands guide to your bra. You hear Hoodie stifle a rough groan, before letting out a whitty snicker.

" What a great show, Tim. Smile for the camera~ "

" Fuck off. "

" Wooah, didn't mean t-hah- to piss you off."

His teased tone comes out with a coo, and Masky growls onto your skin. You get a sick feeling knowing that you're being recorded, but you cant help to think about how Hoodie looked sitting there. You moan as you think about the bead of sweat on Hoodie's face dribble down as he palms his pants, holding his camera steadily to the scene as he watches. Your snapped out of it as let out another gasp as Masky lifts your bra up, exposing your tendered breasts. Your nipples were already hardened, and Masky let's out a soft grunt. You hear the sound of Hoodie getting up, the sofa creaking as he does. You tense up, moaning as Masky licks one of your nipples. You feel Hoodie bend down in front of you, and you bite your lip as Masky bites your nipple softly. You can feel Hoodie's hot breath as he chuckled, which made your core throb with neglect.

" Your enjoying this huh? It takes a special type of sicko to like this type of thing."

" You – haah- you like it too though. "

You sputtered out defiantly, making Masky let out a snicker of his own. Hoodie seems to pause, his hand tightly gripping your hair with a huff. He keeps your head up as you spill moans, only before yelping out as Masky bites your breast, feeling the sting as Masky sucks a mark onto you. Hoodie grunts watching you spill your moans out for them. It came as a surprise though as Hoodie pulls you into a kiss. You gasp, giving him time to shove his tongue into the kiss. Your pleasantly surprised as you feel the silver trinket in Hoodie's mouth, processing a tongue piercing. You moan into his moan as he groans in yours, Masky's eyes boring into you both as he pops off your chest with a slick pop. You feel hot as your body flares with pleasure, bucking your hips with want as you moan into Hoodie's mouth. Hoodie smirks in the kiss before pulling away. You feel a string of saliva break as he wipes his mouth. Masky starts to softly kiss down your abdomen. You hear Hoodie mutter suckup– only before turning his attention back to you.

" Do you want more? "

" Mmn – yes ! Yes I do– "

" Really now? What's the magic word. "

You groan at the extent of Hoodie's teasing. He snickers at you, only before bringing a hand to one of your breasts. You let out a whimper, feeling him squeeze the tender piece of flesh. You let out a harsh moan as you feel Hoodie press on Masky's marks on your chest. You gasp as you feel your pants and undergarments tugged down, revealing your wet cunt below. Hoodie chuckles at the sight, clicking his tongue. You feel as Masky teases your body, making you let out a whimper as you buck in the air.

" Pl- please– "

" Oh? Please what? Speak up slut. "

" Mmn- more ! Ah, fuck– "

" Hmmn, good girl. "

Hoodie laughs at your pleas between moans  as you hear the faint ziip of a zipper. Masky watches, observing your pretty cunt as it clenches to nothing. You can hear Masky panting, letting out small grunts as he ghosts his hands on your thighs before giving them a squeeze. You let out a groan, wiggling as you plead with the man in front of you. You feel your mouth salivate, drool dribbling down your chin.

" Heh – you hear that Tim? She so desperately wants it shes - hng- drooling. Won't you help the poor girl out? "

Hoodie pleas with a snicker, and Hoodie surprisingly obliges. You suck in a deep breath, gasping as you feel Masky's fingers slide between your folds. You moan out as he touches your swollen clit, finally opening your eyes. Hoodie gawks at how you look, sweat clinging to your red face as you tremble on the wooden surface. Though you can't help but eye his camera, aimed down at your cunt as Masky plays with your folds. The next thing you noticed made your heart stutter. Hoodie's manhood was present in front of you, thick and throbbing with neglect. His rendered veins pop out slightly, and he was definitely more average. Hoodie's face reddened as you drool over his dick. Masky doesn't comment as you peacefully open your eyes, but you gasp as he starts to lick at your folds, making you gasp.

" T– Tim!! FucK– "

You choke out loud, causing Masky's grip to tighten on you. Hoodie scoffs, continuing to eye you both as he aims the camera to your face. Hoodies statement earlier was definitely a lie. Ugly Duckling your ass, the way Masky's harsh eyes preyed upon your reactions made you already want to come. Hoodie watches with a groan as you then return your attention to him, your eyes dilated with want and need.

" Fuck.. You really are a cockslut, huh? C'mon, I got you help.. "

Hoodie breaths, aiming his dick to your lips. You moan out as Masky laps up at your wet folds, teasing your clit with wet circles. You look up at Hoodie with a heaving chest, watching as his smug face soon turns into a lustful need.

" .. Now help me, doll. "

Hoodie whimpers – whimpers out as you finally open your mouth with a hunger. Your tongue swirls around the tip of his penis, making him let out a sigh of relief as he pushes into your mouth. Your moans vibrate on Hoodie's cock as Masky inserts his tongue into your cunt, his nose pressed onto your labia as he slurps up your fluids. You feel your body grow hotter as you squirm and tense, arching your back in pleasure. Masky's moans dont help as they vibrate into you, making you loose some of your thoughts. Hoodie smirks as you squirm, groaning from the vibrations to his manhood. He soon bites his lip, shoving more of his cock into your mouth with a tight squeeze. You choke, but don't gag. Hoodie is pleasantly surprised that you dont have a gag reflex, causing his dick to twitch in satisfaction. He continues to throat fuck you through your high, you shaking and trembling as your suffocated. Soon, you come onto Masky's face, the brunette desperately lapping and drinking the sweet fluids you gave him.

" Good girl. "

You hear Hoodie breath, thrusting in your throat before pulling out. You gasp and choke for air, letting out a loud whine as Masky plays with your clit. The stings of overstimulation makes you arch more in broken moans and whimpers. You babble before Hoodie quickly shuts you up, shoving his slick cock back into your mouth. Masky grunts, his moans stuttered as he stands. He comes onto you with a growl, panting as slick white ropes on your thighs and cunt. You choke on Hoodie's length as he facefucks you, moans and grunts spilling out of him. He babbles, muttering praising remarks with subtle degrading terms. It was long until he let's out a drawn moan, burying himself all the way in the back of your throat. You spasm as you come with him, for the second time. He covers his sticky ropes down your throat, pulling out. He quickly keeps a hand covering your mouth, his eyes narrowing at you.

" Swallow it. "

He sternly muses, in which you shakily swallow his juices. He groans watching your throat Bob as you swallow, letting his hand release your mouth. The room is filled with panting, harsh breathes, and the stink of sex in the air as you three catch your senses. You feel your body hot and bothered, covered in different fluids as your head spins with a small headache. As you all start to get your sense, Masky is the first to speak up with his gruffed voice.

" So… Who is better? "

" Why is that even a question? I'm obviously the best. "

" Zip it. You're not the one that made her scream your name. "

The two banter on as you think for a moment. Your body is heavy as you watch the two argue. You groan, wiggling as you get up from the table. You feel yourself peel off the wood from the slick sweat. The two silence at once, anticipating your answer. It wasn't long until you giggle, which turned into a mused sigh.

" I don't know.. I might need a round two. "

" What!? You can't possibly– "

" I'll do it. "

Masky happily obliges, leaving Hoodie at a loss of words or taunts. He pauses, mouth agape before turning into a disbelieved chuckle. You watch as Hoodie silently clicks his camera off, plopping it on the table. Masky's eyes are full of delirious lust, and Hoodie swears he's never met such a freak like you. Something in you tells you that you are in for a loong day.

[eekshade]

hey!! sry for not writing anything for 5 months, school has been yucky, but im back!! i started with an alphabet bc it was an easy way to ease myself back into writing. also happy gay month 🫶

Bucky Barnes Fluff Alphabet

bucky barnes x m!reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings/info: letter J depicts a make out sesh ig, internalized homophobia is mentioned, Buck cries, use of you/your for reader but is said to be male, there are scenes after the hcs for a little bit but I gave up on that lol, made in my notes app so sry for any formatting issues, not proof read

A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O?)

☆ Bucky loves your hands. He likes how "innocent" they are compared to his. He adores when you hold his hand, especially the vibranium one. It makes him feel all warm and soft inside. It causes his stomach to ache (in a loving way), and it makes him want to love himself.

The two of you are slowly making your way through the crowded farmer's market, somewhat resembling a can of sardines. You were walking in front of him, taking notice of a small clearing off to the side, grasping his metallic hand, pulling him behind you. He follows without question, a small smile pointed at your two interlocked hands.

Once stopped in the empty area, before you could even think of letting go of him, he pulled you into him, placing his cracked lips onto your own.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do."

He kisses you again.

B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)

☆ Bucky was a confident man in his youth, always the one making the first move. Ever since he started living in Brooklyn again, he started to notice the anxiety crawling up his throat whenever he interacted with others. This is why he wouldn't start talking to you, even if he's interested in you, so you would need to initiate the first few (dozen) conversations before he starts to feel comfortable around you. That being said, given that you've been talking as friends/acquaintances, he'll have no problem asking you out, it might just take me some time.

☆ Once in a relationship he is extremely bold, there are still some topics where he would be more hesitant to talk about (such as the full extent of his past), but when it comes to you he won't having any problem charmin' you like there’s no tomorrow.

Bucky lingers in front of your shared apartment building hoping to catch you on your way home after a day out, he nervously switches from leaning on a tree to sitting on a bench, then back to the tree. He only waits for about five or so minutes before he notices you walking on the pavement leading to the building, but after locking eyes with him, your course changes.

"Hey, Bucky!"

"y/n! I'm glad I caught you, can I walk you up?"

You simply smile and nod in the direction of the door. You smell like newly washed clothes, but to Bucky, it might as well be heaven. You break the silence by asking him about his day, he breifly responds, giving you some of the highlights, you two chit-chat for bit, not able to dive into much as the trip is rather short. By the time you two reach your door, he realizes that he longer can try to find the perfect segue so he might as well just go for it.

"...Well, thanks for walking with me." You smile at him, reaching for the door handle.

"Wait, y/n, I wanted to talk to you about something." You raise your eyebrows as a sort of permission for him to continue.

"I hope I wasn't misreading this, but would you like to get dinner together sometime?" His voice remains unwavering, with a sly smile dancing across his face.

You roll your eyes at his tone, but it's hard to hide the smile forming at the corners of your mouth,"I guess I don't see why not."

"Yeah, yeah," he snickers, "here." It's his number written on the back of receipt, a small smiley face had been drawn next to it, then erased.

"See you, Bucky."

"Bye, y/n."

C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)

☆ Bucky is more of an advice guy than a comfort guy, this is due to him getting extremely awkward/uncomfortable during touchy, feely situations (and not because he doesn't know how to confront his own emotions!!). However, he does understand the need for warmth during hard times, he just opts to show it through acts of service instead.

Your thoughts thrash against the walls inside your head, the throbbing only getting worse as you slowly pull yourself out of his bed. Your face caked in sweat and dried tears, your bloodshot eyes drift to the phone resting upon the on of the nightstands, your unsteady hand grips the device, checking the time.

The late afternoon sun coats the walls in an irritable light, despite the curtains being mostly closed. You notice on the second nightstand that he left a glass of ice water (which was mostly melted now) and a note, which read:

"EVERYTHING NEEDED FOR A BATH IS ON THE BATHROOM COUNTER - ILL BE BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE ASAP :)"

D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)

☆ Bucky has a really hard time with this one. All he is used to are the classic dinner and a movie type dates, but in his heart, he likes the more intimate, at home, kind. Over time, he finds a sort of balance between the two, like a picnic at a drive-in movie.

"Bucky, where the hell are we?"

The two of you are currently driving down backroads you've never seen before. The road is slightly too narrow for anyone to get fully comfortable, the night sky darkening the path. Bucky has been relatively quiet, letting you do all the talking, and control the music; he never has liked modern music, but there's something special about when you play it.

"Well, if I tell you it's not really a surprise, is it?" He answered, turning his head to you slightly. The smile on his face is almost aggravating, if it had been anyone else's, you would've jumped out of the moving vehicle.

"You're not funny," you playfully roll your eyes, "if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're trying to kill me." You pretend to study him as if trying to find a motive.

"Well, I can promise you I'm not doing that." The smile changes to softer, genuine.

The car is almost silent for the rest of the way, the soft music leading you two down the road. The car pulls into an unpaved parking lot, bringing you back to reality. You look around and see a white screen proudly standing twenty or so feet ahead of you, realizing what's going on, you turn to Bucky. A nervous grin shines back at you, he's holding a basket filled with dinner, and movie snacks.

"You like it?"

E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)

☆ Due to Bucky growing up in the 40s, he does still have quite a bit of internalized homophobia. Therefore, he tends to try and be the stereotypical, manly, provider. He does unconsciously feminize you to make himself feel better, but the second he realizes, or you tell him, he'll do everything to stop, as well as profusely apologize.

☆ Other than that, I do see him as being in the middle. He can obviously take control when he needs to, but also because of his past, he loves when you take the pressure off, and take care of him.

(I can't think of a scene for this rn, and I rlly need to finish this so sry, if anyone want more about this just ask)

F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)

☆ Bucky loves kids, and is great with them, but he doesn't want to have his own, at least until he's stable. So for now he's okay with being the cool uncle.

After spending a lake day with the Wilsons, it was noticeable that Bucky wanted to say something. He looked uncomfortable, nervous even as he waited for everyone to finally call it a night. A little after the kids were put to bed, Sarah called it in, then Sam. You went to follow, seeing as it may be weird to stay up longer than the hosts, but Bucky ushered you to follow him to the back deck.

You sat on the stairs next to him in silence, waiting for him to speak, the warm air surrounding you two. He bit his lip and looked at you, studying you.

"I love you," He smiles at you, his tone signifying a second part of what he needs to say.

"But?" You laugh, nervousness now making its way into you.

"But I can't give you this." He has tears in his eyes, threatening to fall if he says anything else.

"What does that mean?" Confusion grips you tightly, his face giving nothing away.

"An apple pie life," he laughs at his own words, "I can't give you the house, and two kids, dinner by 6, it's all too much for that." He looks to the lake as if it could help him.

"Bucky," you gently take his chin, making him look at you, "what makes you think I want that?"

"The way you looked at me," he wipes a fallen tear from his cheek, "when I was playing with Cass and AJ today.

"Oh, Bucky." You kiss a tear away from the side of his nose, "I don't need any of that, hon. I just need you."

G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)

☆ When it comes to a romantic relationship, Bucky can be pretty serious, while he is smooth/sly, 'goofy' isn't really the word I'd use to describe him. Not to say he wouldn't be funny, but I feel as though his humor is more sarcastic than anything.

(same thing as before)

H - Hugs. (how do they hug?)

☆ I imagine Bucky's skin to be cold, so that transfers to his hugs, but he's cold like a soft breeze on a hot beach. His hugs would also be very firm because of obvious reasons. If he's in an emotional mood, they may be slightly too hard, but never enough to hurt you.

You shiver slightly as his arms wrap around your frame, his head resting upon your shoulder. You two stay like that for a moment before he shifts his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a chaste kiss on it before planting his nose to touch your skin; eyelashes softly tickling you as he blinks.

"I miss you."

I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O?)

☆ Bucky's a fucking nerd, his main interests being motorcycles, fantasy novels (reading in general), folklore, and ancient history.

Bucky smiled widely as he firmly gripped some obscure fantasy novel with a dragon on the cover, unintentionally waving it around. He's excitedly explaining the novel to you, about how well written the book is, about how interesting the character dynamics are, and so on. You mirror his smile as you watch him talk, hanging on to every word that falls off his tongue.

You stand, your smile never wavering as you walk toward him, he stops talking, confused. Once you reach him, you pull him into your grasp, kissing his cheek, holding him close.

"What?" His voice lacking confidence, his smile now unsure.

"Keep talking." You mumble into him, "I like it when you talk." He grins and continues his rant.

J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)

☆ He can get jealous, this is do to his trust issues, but he's mature enough that he won't be a bitch about it unless you want him to, he'll just talk to you, and the two of you will work through it one way or another. He does get rather clingy when jealous, though, wanting to touch you in some way.

You and Bucky are currently at your workplace, your boss decided in order to boost morale that a company party was needed, and you (thankfully) convinced Bucky to go, promising it'll be quick.

Both of you were chatting with one of your work friends when they asked you to come help them get refreshments, leaving Bucky alone with their spouse. Bucky wanted to be nice, he did, but the spouse would not stop going on and on about some shit Bucky had never even heard of. So, naturally, his eyes wander trying to locate you, hoping that you'll come back and save him from this dreadful conversation, and that's when he saw it. Your co-worker was basically feeling you up, their eyes traced your figure as you bent over to grab a couple of waters from the case on the floor, and when you stood back up they grabbed your waist to "move you out of the way" of someone walking by.

The final straw was when you attempted to walk back to Bucky and their spouse, they grabbed you by the elbow stopping you from moving, the grip wasn't very hard from what Bucky could see, but the look on your face was enough to get him moving.

Bucky walked away from the spouse mid sentence. They called out at him, but he paid it no mind. He reached the two of you, and you smiled at him, saying something along the lines of "What couldn’t stand to be without me?" Bucky rolled his eyes when the co-worker asked what he was doing.

"Sorry to cut this short, but honey, we got to go." Overpronouncing the pet name, as he pulls you toward him.

"What? You just got here!" The co-worker joked, "Come on, y/n! The night is still young." He whined out.

"I'm sorry, but Buck's right. I promised to make dinner tonight in order for him to come." You laughed, pulling Bucky's hand into your grasp, "See you on Monday though." You smiled at them, causing Bucky to tighten the grip of his hand around yours.

The second the two of you walked out of the building Bucky pushed you against the wall of it, just barely out of view from the window, kissing you harshly. You opened your mouth in shock, giving Bucky the opportunity to slide his tongue in. His hands roam your body in search for nothing in particular, he smirks when you moan into the kiss, motivating him to pull as much of those pretty little sounds out of you as he can. He thinks of your co-worker, the slimy bastard, they could never have you like this, this thought makes his smile grow as he attaches to your neck, and slips his knee in between your legs. Once he's satisfied with your disheveled state, he silently walks away to the car, leaving you to follow him, confused, calling out for him to slow down.

K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)

☆ Bucky’s kisses are tender/soft, this is attributed to him subconsciously not wanting to hurt you in any way, so any time he touches you it's rather gentle. His lips tend to taste a little like blood, because he has a habit of biting them.

☆ His favorite place to kiss you is on your cheek, specifically with his hands on your hips as a form of greeting.

☆ His favorite place to be kissed is his neck, it feels special, a place just for you and no one else, it's a form of intimacy he hasn't been able to truly experience until now. He especially likes it when you hug him from behind kissing up from the top of his spine to his nape hairline.

Bucky uncomfortably cleaned the kitchen as he waited for you to return from work; he had recently moved in to your place, and it was just now starting to hit him how serious you guys were. You and him have been dating for quite a while, he stayed over more times than not, so it was only natural for you to ask him to move in. He said yes of course, how could he not? He thought about the two of you, about him no longer sleeping in your bed, but sleeping in his. Next to you. It's driving him insane, oh god - when did he start crying? Seriously though, how could you chose him? He just doesn't understand how this happened, how could you, of all people, want him? More tears. God, Bucky, pull yourself together man.

His thoughts screech to a halt as he hears the door open, he hears you call out his name, he doesn't respond, wiping the tears, this proved to be a lot harder to do as one's tears are still actively falling. You find him within a few seconds, he's facing the sink, you snicker at his concentration; you walk up to him, making sure not to be silent, though there’s not a doubt in your mind he knows you're there. You wrap your arms around his lower torso, placing your chin on his shoulder. His hands stop moving as he leans into the touch.

"Hey, Buck." You softly whisper, "You get out today?"

"Of course I have." He turns his head down slightly, trying to avoid eye contact, "You worry too much." He grumbles, he attempts to move his arms forward, but stops when he feels your lips graze his nape.

"I like worrying about you." Another kiss. "It keeps me grounded." You laugh into his neck.

"Please." He drags out the word in an almost whiney tone, moving his head back to get even closer to your mouth, "Please don't stop."

You consister teasing him, turning his chin to look at you, but stop when you see his wet cheeks you decide against it. You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth as a sort of apology, before going back to what you were doing to the back of his neck.

"God, Buck, you know how much I love you?" You mumble into his skin after a few moments.

"No, I don't think I do," He smiles at the wall, "how much?"

You unravel your arms from around him, placing them on his shoulders, turning him to face you. You deeply press your lips onto his nose, causing him to scrunch his face, the kiss makes a humming sound, before a soft pop of your lips.

"That much, times like a thousand." You giggle at his soft expression.

"Wow. That's a lot." He remarks with faux amazement, trying to make it seem like you didn't just make his heart nearly beat out of his chest.

"Yeah it is." You exaggerate the words, gripping his cheeks for one last kiss.

L - Love Language.

☆ Bucky's love language is definitely acts of service. He enjoys doing things for you, and putting his skills to use, I think this can been seen in fatws when he helps Sam with repairing the boat, and getting him a new suit. He likes surprising you with household takes already completed when you get home, he absolutely basks in the praise you give him for doing this.

(yuck. This is where I officially give up on the scenes, as said prior if you want to see any specific ones just ask!!)

M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)

☆ Bucky doesn't like to cook with other people, you can watch for sure! But he doesn't like to share the space too closely, it just annoys him when people do things he believes he can do more efficiently.

☆ The two of you will most likely do A/B days when it comes to cooking and clean up, unless one person is pampering the other/it's a special occasion.

N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)

☆ His nicknames for you are obviously older, and slightly feminine (unless you tell him off), he starts you relationship with names like, doll, darling, and dove. As time progresses he will start incorporating handsome into his list of pet names. All that being said, I don't think he's too into pet names, for the most part he'll just say your real name.

O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)

☆ He starts telling you about his past in the form of jokes (like that one date scene in fatws). He's able to tell you about everything in a factual tone a few months into dating (just so he knows he trusts you), as far as his emotions surrounding it - that does obviously take longer, but in my opinion not by that much. The amount of emotion shared does vary, but maybe a month or two after he tells you about it for the first time, he'll start venting about his nightmares and such.

☆ also it does depend on how you view/retain media, because you might have already recognized his face/name.

P - PDA.

☆ Bucky is in the middle when it comes to PDA, he likes holding your hand, will give you goodbye kisses and such, but he doesn't go father then that. Half due to his social anxiety, half to him wanting the more intimate things to stay private.

Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)

☆ If Bucky feels he's in the right he can and will be petty, such as brushing you off, or making sarcastic comments. He typically won't confront you because of the attitude he holds, but when you decide to apologize he's ready to talk it out. He accepts your apology in time, (depending on what you did) but he is still standoffish for some time after, due to his trust issues.

☆ When he fucks up he is all over fixing it. He starts the apology in a very formal manner, stating how he knows he what he did was wrong, how he'll do better. The second part of the apology is him being (too) nice for the next week, as said on L his love language is acts of service so he'll overcompensate, and do every task you needed done.

R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)

☆ His "main" boundaries are focused around his past, such as you're not allowed to pry when it comes to asking about it - he will talk about it in his own time. You're also not allowed (at least for a long time) to touch the scars he has next to where his arm is attached, or the attachment itself. As far as other boundaries go, he doesn't want you to go further than hand holding, and a quick goodbye kiss in public, and he hates it when you pity him out right - keep that in your head.

S - Security. (how protective are they of their S/O?)

☆ He is very protective of you, not in a weird controlling way, but he always checks in out of fear someone will use you to get to him for one reason or another. This protectiveness isn't really that obvious, more just him checking in on you, and keeping an eye out when you're out together.

T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O?)

☆ Bucky does take quite a bit of time to actually fall in love, but him finding you attractive/intriguing is very fast if not immediate. It takes about 2-3 months for him to ask you out (though he does flirt for a while first), and about 5-7 months of dating to "love" you.

U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)

☆ He can get upset from a few things namely; everything said in R, when you grab him first in his post nightmare state or during/after a panic attack (he wants to be the one to initiate contact, because sometimes he doesn't want to be touched), and if you disagree on politics - although Bucky isn't the kind of guy to compromise on those so it most likely won't happen, because he wouldn't be dating you in the first place.

V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)

☆ Bucky's a NERD!! He likes to go to places with rich history/culture, and he won't take a second to rest, he just wants to see everything, can you blame him? If you're the kind of person who wants to spend a day relaxing by the pool, I'm sorry, but he will leave you behind without hesitation.

W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)

☆ Bucky promises to never hurt you in any way shape or form, he promises to protect you agianst others who wish to harm you, and he promises to never leave you behind as he doesn't want anyone, especially you, to feel how he felt.

X - Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)

☆ Bucky likes to do little things for you to make you feel welcome/comfortable around him. This comes in different shapes and forms, such as complimenting you in every which way, making mental notes of things you like, and always being ready to help you out with anything you may need.

☆ Bucky feels the most welcome when it's explicitly said that he is. You using your words to validate him, not even compliment him, but just say he's doing fine, it does more for him then you could imagine.

Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)

☆ Bucky is able to survive being isolated for long periods of time, even going as far to do it intentionally, but you've weakened him. He misses you rather fast. Now, it's not like he's going to cry over it or anything, but he will sometimes sit up at night unable to sleep without you next to him.

☆ Let's say that you two, for whatever reason, can't call. Bucky is an old fashioned guy, he likes to keep a least one physical photo of you on him at all times. He says it's his good luck charm; he would never tell you however, is that when you two are separated he keeps the photo as close as possible at nights because it calms him down from his nightmares.

Z - Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)

☆ As said so many times throughout this list, Bucky gets nightmares, and sometimes he can't fall back asleep afterwards so he gets up to go do his own thing, because of this while the two of you do sleep near eachother, you rarely cuddle. It's not even that he doesn't want to cuddle, he does, it's the fact he feels like a burden any time he wakes you, so instead he lied and told you he doesn't like them.

☆ Other sleep facts about him is that he runs hot at night, somewhere earlier it's said he's cold to touch, but for whatever reason he can not have more than one blanket on him, plus your body heat.

☆ His typical sleepwear is a pare of shorts, and if you want to count them, his dogtags. During the colder months he'll add a long sleeve shirt, or even just a standard tee, depends on his mood.

MARVEL MASTERLIST

[uptondixon]

"You can hear it in the silence" - Sam Carver x Intelligence Officer!Reader

I noticed there's a surprisingly small amount of Sam Carver fanfics out here so this was born!

Reader is an officer from the Intelligence unit, she and Carver have been dating in secret for a couple of months. After a tough call involving both Truck and Intelligence, Carver can't help but demonstrate his love for you.

One robbery in progress, a bomb, and a bunch of civilians hurt. That is not how anyone imagined a Sunday morning to go. 

After the mess was contained, two out of four offenders were dead after a shooting with CPD. The other two, however, disappeared among the crowd of civilians. Paramedics were handling the wounded in triage while the firefighters were dealing with the remains of the explosion. 

“Y/n?” Voight said, calling your attention to him. “What about the guard you talked with?”

“He seemed nervous Sarge, even scared, and it wasn’t because of the robbery,” you said, checking the information you wrote about the guard. “The story he told, it looked rehearsed to me.”

Voight nodded, “Okay, you talk to him again and see if you can get more info, meanwhile Kev and Adam can search his proprieties so we can try and make a connection—”

“Y/n!” a shout was heard from a distance, directing your attention towards the sound.

Sam’s figure came into view. He was dressed with his coat and helmet, his face carrying a mix of worry and relief. You couldn’t help but leave a small gasp, your face morphing into pure and genuine surprise.

“Carver! I—” you started but the words vanished when he hugged you. Your arms wrapped around him, instinctively hugging him back. The embrace was so strong it lifted you a little off the ground, making you smile.

“Sam,” you said, a smile still on your face. Breaking the hug was hard since he was holding you so tight, but he started to let go when you said his name. Your feet met the ground again. 

“I saw you in the middle of the shooting, I thought you were going to be shot!” Carver said, his hands holding yours. 

“I'm fine, I ducked in time,” you smiled at him again, trying to soothe his worries. “We all did,” you looked at your team behind you, Sam’s eyes following yours.

He suddenly went quiet, his eyes staring at your intertwined hands. Realization hit him that you two were in public. 

You smiled at him sheepishly, arching your eyebrows and holding his hands tighter for reassurance. You knew he was feeling shy, it was so cute the way his eyes shifted back and forth between your eyes and the ground. You were not any different, looking between him and your team. You both sure did not expect your relationship to be out like this, but there was no coming back now. 

Your team held both confused and smiley faces. Hailey and Jay were smiling so big you could count every tooth in their mouth. They have been suspecting about your relationship with said firefighter after catching you messaging him during a boring lookout late at night. Another one who had suspicions was Voight, he heard from Mouch one night over dinner at his and Trudy's house that he saw you and Carver talking at Molly's. On the other hand, Adam, Kim, and Kevin looked absolutely shocked. They appeared to be the only ones who missed any signs about this.

“Is everything okay guys?” Stella's voice brought you back to reality. She was more discreet with her reaction than the others, but you could spot a small smile forming in her mouth.

“Of course, Lieutenant,” Carver said, regaining his composure. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” he smiled that smile you love so much. Staring into his blue eyes, you smiled back. 

“See you around, Y/n,” Stella said, leaving with Carver following behind.

You nodded with a smile, walking back to your team. 

“Don't look at me like that, Adam,” you said pointing a finger at him. Adam was staring at you as if you had grown another head.

“Well forgive my shock, but is that the reason why you rejected all the guys I told you about?”

“Bro, I rejected them because they suck.”

“They do not suck, Y/N, they’re nice guys.”

“Well, would you date them?”

“Enough you two,” Voight said with a ghost of a smile. “Let’s get back to the case.”

After listening to the rest of Voight’s instructions you all left in the direction of the cars.

“Now, I’m your partner, how come I’m one of the last people to know about this?” Kevin said, getting into the passenger seat of your car. 

“Y’all need to share when stuff like this happens!” Kevin said through the window when Jay and Hailey passed beside your car to get to their truck.

All you could do now was laugh and get ready for the teasing coming your way in the next few weeks.