#smartest merc knows he's killing this

[oogmonster]

Engiqueer????

this Barbie is one good ol’ boy

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Finished JJBA part 3

So Iggy's death was fucked up in Part 3 but it was actually very different compared to the OVA, where he instantly got merced by Vanilla Ice instead. It made me really sad. Yesterday I was talking to my coworker about her dog that just passed away so this one took me off guard. It's crazy how Iggy did jack shit for the time he was there until he found the mansion by accident, and then he became a diehard Jojo because the fucking bird got his paw. The "human" voice coming from Iggy's thoughts was incredibly funny but the timing of Iggy showing us his character and resolve shortly before his death made it devastating.

Avdol's second "death" was almost identical to his first death except a lot more definite. Poor bastard never got to fight before he was vored. Avdol is cool-headed like Jotaro but he's more analytical and heroic so I really liked him. I wish he got more battles.

Kakyoin, RIP :( you had the worst stand but you were the smartest character. I thought the show did a good job at showing us how far hed gone during the D'arby race episode just beforehand.

Joseph's "death"... it's incredible how quickly Kakyoin was written off as dead but then Jotaro fucking resurrects Joseph with Dio's blood. I think it fits Joseph, it doesn't matter what you throw at this guy, he is not staying down. I found it hilarious the first thing he tried to do was prank Jotaro and then he nearly got re-killed because of it. Joseph has constantly evaded the "fate" defined for the Joestar family members of dying young and he is even still alive after his grandson and great-grandaughter get merced in part 6. He literally never dies during the entire jojos timeline.

I like how messed up Polnareff was that Avdol died saving him twice and then Iggy went and did the exact same thing. It makes it more satisfying when he killes Vanilla Ice a moment later, saving the others from a terrifying foe, and then when he hops in at the last minute to save Jotaro from Dio later. But then, again, Jotaro puts himself at risk to save Polnareff. I see Polnareff as the "heart" of the group. But I already know his weird turtly fate the next time he encounters a timeskip user.

Dio is a very fun character. Interesting how part 3 didn't bother reminding us about him and sort of assumed we already knew who he was, but at the same time you get the perspective of all the modern characters who see him as some terrifying charismatic demon. The people sticking around since Part 1 have seen that Dio is ultimately a very evil british teenage twink on an ego trip. We see some of his ability to respect the strength of others when he resurrects the loyal Vanilla Ice, but ultimately he'll freak the fuck out when confronted with someone stronger than him. He rage gamer tilts against Jotaro and makes himself vulnerable in the process.

I think this would've been solved more quickly if Joseph taught Jotaro how to use Hamon.

[emotionally-starved-archive-2024]

Uh... Hey, hello?

Can you hear me?

I want to ask you about something.

I heard you know about... The Gravel Wars, right?

Can you tell me all about it?

@boarded-off-respawn-room

"Whoo boy. I'm the last person you should be asking about the Wars. Still, I'm obligated to tell you the gist of what I know, so..."

*Tracker takes a deep breath. This'll obviously be pretty long.*

"It's 1822, and someone called Zepheniah Mann's wife dies and gives birth to three sons. Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray Mann. Redmond and Blutarch both get his approval despite being absolute idiots and Gray, who is apparently a supergenius or something, does not. The guy orders that Gray be killed because he's a massive dick, but Gray disappears due to unknown reasons. Fast forward to 1850, Redmond and Blutarch convince their father to buy a completely useless plot of land in New Mexico because it has gravel. Why they thought they needed this land, I don't know. After they moved there, Zephaniah died, again, for reasons I don't understand. According to Medic, he contracted every disease ever known to man, but I don't believe that for a second. Moving on, he left his money to his maid, Elizabeth, who I presume just might be the Administrator, but that's just speculation, his company to his best friend, Barnabas Hale, and the New Mexico gravel plot to Redmond and Blutarch. Also, they fucking hate each other and both hire nine mercs to try and kill each other. However, the mercs are put at a stalemate, so Blutarch puts the smartest inventor at the time, Radigan Conagher, to work. He hires him to build an immortality machine. However, Elizabeth convinces Cohnager to make Redmond one too, by bribing him with Australium. Years pass, the mercs come, die, and others are rehired. That is, up until 1972 when Gray Mann shows up with his army of robots and kills Redmond and Blutarch. Why? Because he wants Zephaniah's company, Mann Co, which now belongs to Saxton mother fucking Hale. Now the original Mercs are out of jobs. Lucky them, Saxton hires them back, under new contracts. Unlucky them, they're being hired to fight Gray's robot army. That's the gist of what I know."

(Credit to @tsamired for summarizing for me cause I know shit diddly about the Wars :P)

[anari3l]

Welcome To Sanctuary, Part 2

Pairings: Nate/Sole Survivor x Merc!Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence. Language.

----------------------

Nate stood his ground, seemingly unfazed by the Raiders pointing their guns at him. ‘Cowered’ wouldn’t normally be a word you used to describe yourself, but you knew how Raiders operated, and the gunshot wound in your shoulder was testament to how far they would go to raid a caravan. So, you cowered in the corner of the small building, hoping they would leave.

The small farm was near the coast, small enough to be more of a caravan stop than a true farm under the protection of the Minutemen. Only one settler lived here, and they kept pretty much locked in the fallout shelter in their basement when caravans weren’t around, you had been told.

“This fucker?” The Raider in the front, who you assumed was the leader of the gang, cursed, spitting in Nate’s general direction. “What’s some fuckin’ vault dweller going to do to us?”

You watched, pressing your hand against the wound in your upper arm harder, trying to staunch the bleeding. The raiders behind the leader seemed to know something their leader didn’t, and were anxiously flicking their gazes from Nate to their boss and back.

“He’s not just some fuckin’ vault dweller. He’s … He’s Nuka’s Overboss!” one of the raiders behind the leader spoke up, looking nervously over to Nate.

“Heard all about ‘im,” another piped up, voice jittery with the effects of Jet. “Killed Colter without breakin’ a sweat!”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to lean around Nate to get a look at his face. He stood stock still, rifle held across his chest, trigger finger resting against the barrel. His shoulders were squared, gaze hard as he stared at the Raider leader.

“There ain’t enough caps in the world!”

The boss scoffed, turning back to Nate and taking a step forward. “He’s just some vault dweller protectin’ his farm.”

Nate smirked, head lifting just slightly as he watched the Raider. “I’d listen to them if I were you,” he started. “They’re probably the smartest Raiders I’ve dealt with this far East. What do they call you? Bloodshed?”

The Raider’s gaze hardened as he turned on Nate. “It’s Blood Knuckle, and you –”

“Ah, yes,” Nate nodded, cutting the Raider off as he raised his fist, showing off the rather impressive, blood-stained Power Fist he wore - a testament to his name. “I got it.”

You watched as Nate took a deep, exaggerated breath, shoulders bouncing as he relaxed out of his stance. “Well, I mean, you can try to fight,” Nate started, and you watched as almost a pleased smile spread across his features. “You’re not going to win. Your boys know it. I know it.”

The rest of the Raider gang were standing, weapons held in front of them, but all clearly itching to get as far away as possible, you noted. Your own gun was resting in your lap, ready to fight if needed.

“Some Vault dweller, Raider wanna-be ain’t scarin’ me!” Knuckle started, taking another threatening step towards Nate. “Wasn’t scared of Colter, ain’t scared of you.”

Nate watched him take another step, the unmistakable sound of the Power Fist coming to life filling the air around the small room. Within a blink, and with a sickly crunching sound, you watched as the butt of Nate’s rifle came down on Knuckle’s nose, shattering it.

As Knuckle reeled from the hit, Nate stepped back, glancing over to you with a nod that said “it’s gonna be alright”. You had seen that same nod and look, heard him mutter those words to almost every settler you passed in your travels. The General of the Minutemen, calming, kind, there to protect.

As you looked back up to Nate, you didn’t see the Minutemen General, but a Raider Boss, eyes hard and rifle raised. He circled around Knuckle, crouched on the floor and holding a hand to his broken nose, and addressed the rest of the gang. “I’ll pay you more than you’ll get from this joke, or I can kill you all,” Nate started. “Choose wisely.”

The three other raiders lowered their weapons, dropping them to the dirt and raising their hands over their heads in surrender.

“You fucks!” Knuckle cursed, pushing to his full height and rearing his Power-fist clad arm back to prepare for a very powerful punch right at Nate’s head.

Nate didn’t hesitate, and before you knew it, a gunshot was ringing out throughout the small cabin. The bullet had lodged in Knuckle’s chest, square in the center, disregarding any of the armor he was wearing. You watched as Nate slowly lowered his gun, stepping forward.

“I told you.”

As Knuckle slumped over, dead, Nate rose to his full height, shrugging the strap of his rifle over his shoulder and whistling through his teeth to the other raiders. “Get this body out of here. Report to the Nuka station if you want a job. If you don’t, best believe I’ll shoot on sight next time you cross a settlement.”

The raiders nodded, hurriedly moving to grab Knuckle and pull his lifeless body out of the building. Nate waited until they were well down the path towards the beach before closing the rotten door and turning to you.

“Come on, I’ve got a stimpak.”

Your brow furrowed as you watched Nate’s imaginary mask fall back into Minutemen General. His features softened as he removed the ridiculous cowboy hat he wore, and the bandana around his neck as if he was shedding the layers that made up the Raider boss.

You relaxed back against the wall as you watched him fumble through his pack for a stimpak and first aid supplies. Finally, you spoke up, “Nuka’s Overboss? That place still up and running?”

Nate chuckled, kneeling beside you and stabbing the stimpak into the fat of your shoulder, just above the bullet wound. As he ripped your sleeve open to look at the wound, he nodded. “It’s a huge misunderstanding, actually.”

“Doesn’t sound like a misunderstanding,” you hummed, watching him work. “And we’ve got time.”

Nate met your gaze. “I was out exploring and found Gunners had set up shop in the transit station out West. I was just looking for scrap and salvage, came up on a Raider pretending to be a hurt settler. Tricked me into taking the train to Nuka World.”

“Find it hard to believe you were tricked into anything,” you answered. “Thought that place was a trading post now?”

Nate shook his head. “Raiders moved in years ago. And apparently, their boss was disliked by everyone. They funneled all travelers and settlers through a gauntlet. I impressed them by surviving and was put up in a one to one fight with the boss. Winner took over.”

“Colter …” you hummed, thinking back to any gossip you had heard about Raider gangs around the Boston area. “Wasn’t he some super powerful boss, though? Everyone was scared of him.”

“Yeah, well, he was a cheater,” Nate smirked, patting your shoulder as he tied off the bandage he had been working on. “Was able to connect his power armor to the power grid of the Nuka Cars ride. Essentially creating an electric current throughout his body that protected him in his armor.”

“How’d you beat him?”

Nate chuckled, reaching into his pack and pulling out a small, red, plastic pistol. “Water gun.”

“Fuck off.”

Nate shrugged, stuffing the plastic pistol back into his bag. “It’s the truth.”

You glared at him. “Not sure I’m ever going to be able to tell if you’re lying.”

“Most people can’t,” he said with a chuckle, dropping down to sit against the wall beside you. “Get some rest. We’ll camp here for the night.”

[fishloop]

some merc designs for warmup today readmore for infodump

Scout used to have a fixation on steam engines so him and Engineer love to talk about technology and stuff .Medic is based mostly on bleeding heart doves and plague doctors. he's kinda a normal medic. he has a special interest in ornithology, and loves to birdwatch. engineer is a car mechanic and part time tinkerer.. he likes trains and has a big miniature set for trains. spy has a dork ass crush on sniperbot but sniperbot for the life of them cannot pick up social cues so whenever they interact it's extremely uncomfortable and spy tries to be awesome and cool but sniperbot does not react at all.medic and scout are friends and play catch sometimes

Sniper is a sniperbot who gained sentience and proceeded to kill and replace their original Sniper. they think they were really slick about it and no one knows but everyone except pyro knows and refuses to acknowledge it since it's really awkward. they're mute and communicate in a mix of super basic ASL and just general hand movements. as above Pyro just thinks they're both autistic and has made Sniper their best friend. they thought they were really smart asking engineer to recalculate them into the respawn by saying it lagged last time but engineer saw through it but didn't say anything. everyone just kinda walks around it and never puts sniperbot on the spot since they don't really know what'll happen. sniperbot just thinks they're the smartest fucking person in the world

all of them are autistic and most of them are trans. they all race to the infirmary to take their hrt competitively . soldier has to use testosterone gel since one time to win the race he just bit into the needle and started bleeding everywhere. he slathers it on his big forehead under his helmet.

[bagelarts]

my tf2 phase burned bright and fast and left me with some writing ideas/plot bunnies I probably won't develop further

I'm throwing these out for anyone to use. Feel free to change as you see fit. No credit needed, but I'd love to see your work!!

The Mannchurian Candidate (Manchurian Candidate AU)

The Gravel Wars are freshly """over,""" or at least that's what both the mercs the citizens of Teufort believe. The story released to the public says that Soldier shot a stray rocket and killed Redmond and Blutarch Mann simultaneously, thus ending the war in a stalemate.

However, this story is not true. Teufort has been getting more and more restless about the effects of the Gravel Wars, and protests have been growing louder with each passing year. Soldier, during a battle, accidentally shoots a rocket into respawn, fucking up the system and incapacitating the mercs. Mann Co. sees an opportunity.

The Administrator puts battles on hold as they fix respawn, then brainwashes the mercs to believe the fake story released to the public ("Jane Doe is the bravest, kindest, smartest man I've ever met :)").

Soldier, now a celebrated war hero in Teufort, is quickly thrown into Teufort's mayor reelection cycle. He's hired as a security guard for one of the mayor candidates. He basks in this.

Soldier has also been additionally brainwashed by Mann Co. to do their bidding, but because it's Soldier, no one knows how much of his weirdness is Mann Co. and how much of it is just Soldier being Soldier.

The other mayor candidate-- the incumbent mayor-- accuses anyone and everyone of working for Mann Co.. After all, Teufort HATES Mann Co. and being associated with them is political suicide. Who's behind the incumbent mayor's slanderous campaign? "Political Science Intern" Miss Pauling :)

With both mayor candidates being secretly controlled by Mann Co., they can control Teufort and squash protests.

Meanwhile, Engie also sticks around Teufort, as he was hired by The Administrator to fix respawn. But he's having trouble-- he can barely sleep at night because of recurring nightmares. He's sitting with the rest of the mercs at the airport, no, a lecture hall, and a strange lady is jabbering on and on the Administrator is explaining a brainwashing procedure. He doesn't care. None of them care. The Mann brothers are there. Aren't they dead?

(May or may not have Soldier kill Pyro and Scout, since that's close to what happens in the source. They would be revived when respawn is fixed.)

These nightmares plague him with dread and unanswered questions.

After all, if the wars are over, why is he fixing respawn?

The rest of the mercs sans Soldier are also having these nightmares. This culminates in Engie rounding up the mercs still in the US (my thoughts are Demo, Spy, and possibly Medic, but it could be any combo of mercs with enough explanation) to get to the bottom of Mann Co.'s scheme. Whether they actually stop the scheme, idk lol

[kimarisgundam]

Oh frig. I messed up. I messed up so bad in our Cyberpunk campaign 😭

I'm sitting in the Zoom call just RPing along, my character is literally just pretending to "uncode" a broken shard now and our DM is side eying me cos she knows I'm just buying time 🙃

I don't know what excuse I can make cos that shard is corrupted, our Rockerboy just doesn't know 😣

I was the one who corrupted it 😣

I did it cos I was following orders and cos like of course I trust the guy who's my adoptive dad! My sponsor is a good man! I thought our party's Rockerboy was trying to smear his reputation...

Now our Rockerboy is all like "you're the only one who I can trust with this shard"

"you're the smartest one here, you're my only hope. I trust you"

"don't let my chooms' deaths be for nothing"

I'm dying on the inside now 😭

I'm struggling with the dawning realisation that my "dad" ordered a hit on 2 of my current best friend's friends

And my "dad" was also the one who ordered my big bro to torture my best friend

Was all this justified? My dad always said me and my bro aren't mercs. We don't kill for reasons that aren't "honourable"... was what I did honourable?

From the digging I just did... the Rockerboy's netrunner and media friends were good people... they helped those who were being exploited and didn't have the power to fight back

Why did they deserve to die? My dad said they deserved to die. He taught us that honour and duty are the only things that separates us from all the scum living in Night City

I'm just not seeing the "honour" in what we did now 😣

I don't know if I'm being disrespectful by investigating... my bro always said it's our duty to never question orders 😣. But I think my "dad" isn't being honest with me and my bro 😣

I don't know who I can trust. I didn't tell anyone the full extent of what I saw... I encrypted the evidence in a shard

I can't tell our Exec cos he's part of Arasaka. I can't tell my bro cos he'll report everything to our dad

I can't tell the party cos then... they'll find out what a bad person I am 😭. I was never honest with them right from the start 😭

[saederkrupps]

i wanted to draw the third guy (noise) but i also have to focus on commissions. but anyway

purple guy - denchi

glasses - hush.

they both have similar backstory of being in corporate (denchi is a mage where hush was an executive) and losing their job because of Noise. Denchi was fired and had a hit put on him because he knew sensitive information, Hush was just disgraced and he is incomprehensibly vain and took it very personally.

Denchi is really bitchy and always complaining about something. He wears luxury fashion brands and listens to the worst possible music you can think of. As a mage, he thinks he's a very special boy that deserves only the best. As a short gay guy in corporate, he is very guarded and prone to snapping back first. The type to just dish out insults on reflex.

Hush is the worst guy ever. He is vain and bitchy and he is always trying to assert himself as the smartest and hottest bitch in the room. He is always 'well actually...' and trying to make you feel as stupid as possible. He spends a very long time on his appearance. All of his co-workers fucking HATED him and are so glad he's gone. If shadowrunners/mercs got yelp reviews he'd have an overwhelmingly negative score. I cannot stress enough how unpleasant he is to be around.

He and Denchi could be friends/allies because of their shared hatred of Noise but Hush is simply too much even for Denchi. He is like, damn. i'm glad i'm not that guy.

Denchi wants to legit kill Noise and actively tries on a regular basis. Hush forms some homoerotic fixation on him and is like joker/batman with him. Noise still doesn't know who either of these clowns are.

^ old art of noise, the bastard that ruins everything. he has bright red hair.

i think theyre cute

[vivid-wisp]

You know how it be suffering from big brainrot being into FNF so I’ve compiled a list of ideas for the characters. This is more so for myself but thought I'd share some of my ideas. Take this as you will, these headcanons are based on educated guesses, actual lore, or just for fun. I also really like explaining my reasoning for some stuff so be ready for that. Long post. :]

Boyfriend / BF

- Is asian specifically Japanese, based on the idea how the dev team like to agree Hatsune Miku is BF’s canon sibling. Can also be asian American.

- Despite his appearance BF is actually somewhat physically strong and capable. If he can’t rap battle someone he’d be down to beat someone up, based on the idea how PA (Phantom Arcade) says he sucks at FromSoftware games and would rather throw down IRL than in video games.

- Him and Pico were exes, but they dated when they were WAY YOUNGER, and this was before when BF or Pico knew how to handle a relationship properly. Pico was the one to call things off. (more on Pico’s section) They may still get kind of flustered around each other.

- For most of his childhood, BF never really felt like he stood out. It leads into the reason why he likes singing since it ironically feels like he's being heard, despite not really liking to talk a lot. He was a very quiet kid back then. He'd always liked singing and rapping, he just wasn't put into a position of intense judgement until meeting GF's father and mother, rockstar and ex-rockstar. Training arc begins.

- BF took courses/majored in music design or sound design in college, but dropped out to spend more time with Girlfriend and practice his musical talent himself seeing as it felt more natural than doing boring classes.

- Despite what people think, BF doesn’t dye his hair. It WAS a different color but a shade, like a lighter blue color when he was younger. (Based on Ninjamuffin/NM's recent AMA answers)

- BF owns a dog, not specific but definitely a large breed of dog that stays at home and is taken care of by his parents. He loves a lot of pets and animals, especially anything blue.

- It’s no surprise BF isn’t the smartest, but this comes from a place of putting on the “bad boy” act and being told he’d never make it anywhere in life so he never tried. BF is really a soft guy who deep down has a good heart and just wants to show his appreciation to the person (GF) who makes him feel okay knowing you don’t have to be the best.

- BF actually CAN speak, but chooses to be selectively mute. More so because he’s not the best when it comes to words, and he’s never felt the need to talk. Don’t expect much because like in Week 6, it’ll likely just be random noises he makes or his signature “beeps!” He still reacts, just with noises. (we ignore the logic of him singing it just sounds like beeps to us the players while everyone in universe perfectly understands) [just saw NM's recent AMA I GODDAMN CALLED IT LET'S GOOOO]

Girlfriend / GF

- GF unsurprisingly, has a very wealthy background and in turn family too. So she’s no stranger to most expensive things. This doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate anything BF gifts her, in fact she’s more than appreciative of anything if it comes from BF her love.

- May or may not be a demon like her parents but she doesn’t want to scare BF, and also has slight appearance anxieties about it so she chooses to hide it by staying in her “human” form. She's self conscious of appearing like a demon, and doesn't want to scare people away just based on her look.

- So yes GF can and will in fact beat you up, a lot more than BF if she really wanted to. Especially if she went into her demon form.

- Also not the brightest, due to her extravagant background she’s been so spoiled to the point where everything is handed to her on a silver plate. Which also means her intelligence. They're both himbo/bimbo dynamic I don’t make the rules sorry.

- Actually really good at singing herself too, she’s a bit more wonky with rapping but she’s still good. Ties into the fact GF is the first to teach you how to rap/sing in the tutorial. If she really wanted to, she would destroy BF in a singing battle.

- Kinda aloof and can be apathetic, but more in the sense of “oh cool" instead of a "not caring" feeling way. Like moving on from something that was most definitely not cool like oh my god does that monster with bloody human teeth have a lemon for a head-

- Absolutely adores the large height difference between her and BF. She loves picking BF up suddenly and swinging him around. It’s cute and funny to her. (BF likes the height difference dynamic too but he'd never admit it)

Pico

- Pico never went to college nor finished, instead he takes up jobs from around the city as a mercenary. He's so skilled to the point it pays well enough he doesn't really need a job. He owns a small apartment.

- He likes spending time when he's not on the job, around BF and GF but this is more so at a distance. He does hang out with them, but don't expect him to show up automatically by their side. Like maybe once a week.

- Despite his original job to kill BF, Pico is very protective of BF and looks out for him albeit distantly. He knows BF can handle himself, but he will risk jumping into a situation if BF needs help. ONLY when he needs help.

- Pico still spends time with Nene and Darnell, but this is more so as an acquaintance thing. They're still friends, but all three of their jobs (as assassin and mercs) make things kind of awkward and distance from one another.

- Pico has a lot of untreated trauma, whether that be PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD, etc, a lot of it is very untreated. While Pico is aware he has some mental health disorders he's not aware of ALL of them. He frankly doesn't care nor does he really feel like dedicating the time to properly help himself, which stems from his upbringing in his childhood, "deal with it" attitude back then. He doesn't think it's a big deal, even though deep down he knows he should seek help. Especially after hanging out with BF and GF who, unsurprisingly, are (relatively) normal in the head unlike his friends Nene and Darnell. His disorders disrupt his everyday life and living routine, he can have a lot of very bad days.

- Pico is a wannabe DJ, he likes to sing and rap but prefers the latter and likes listening to music more rather than doing it itself. When he was a kid he liked BF for his passion for singing and rapping, and admired him in a way.

- BF and Pico went to the same elementary school, and were very much friends. After the events of Pico's School, Pico acted very different than how BF knew him, and somewhere along that path BF and Pico decided to date each other when they were in middle school (at 13-14). This was very much a hasty decision and didn't end well. Pico was the one to break things off due to knowing he couldn't handle the responsibility of another person, especially in a relationship. He had too much on his plate already from the trauma that still haunted him, and also was around the time Pico told BF he would be getting homeschooled instead after many years of decision with Pico's parents. It was best to end things before they'd spiral and get worse.

- While BF was heartbroken, he knew it was for the better even if he was upset for quite a bit. After Pico became homeschooled and left middle school, BF noticeably became more quiet until he'd meet GF near the beginning of high school. Pico and BF tried to keep in contact, but eventually naturally just fell out of touch with each other, both too busy with their own lives now. Pico never really resolved his whole feelings issues, which still show up when he'd meet BF years later again but knows those feelings are best left behind.

- While Pico was very surprised and shocked to see BF again despite being commissioned to kill BF, BF himself was too busy being caught up in seeing an old friend again. Whether that be BF was either too dumb to realize he was being killed or because he was genuinely very happy to see his old friend again, the two had a small reconcile after so many years and decided to rap for old time's sake.

[shinra33459]

Helluva Boss/Deadpool Crossover Headcanons

(A/N) - I decided to make these after making some pictures in Gmod of this hypothetical crossover. I have never really written headcanons before, so, ye have been warned:

Blitzo

·        As an ally:

o   Two words: best friends. You just put two assassins with a witty, sarcastic sense of humor together, what did you think would happen?

o   Tries to get Wade to join IMP full-time, but he declines. Deadpool isn’t really interested in grouping up unless he’s the leader.

o   Don’t get me wrong, Deadpool will still help IMP if they ask for it, but only if payment is in question; man’s gotta eat somehow.

o   Both of them will torment Moxxie because they think it’s funny.

o   Deadpool will rib Blitzo when he finds out how he has access to the living world but will try to bang Stolas as well to see what favors he can get.

·        As a target:

o   Complete polar opposite relationship than if he was an ally. Blitzo has made it a personal mission to see Wade Wilson dead.

o   Refuses to believe that he can’t kill Deadpool, his ego and pride are too much for him to admit that.

o   The rest of IMP eventually refuses to go after Deadpool and unofficially create a ‘no superheroes’ rule.

o   Has had run-ins with heroes from the X-Men and the Avengers in his pursuit to kill Deadpool.

o   After numerous failures to kill Wade and almost being killed several times, as much as it’s a blow to his pride and ego, he eventually admits defeat.

Moxxie

·        As an ally:

o   No. Let me rephrase that real quick: FUCK NO. Wade is Blitzo Mark II and Moxxie is NOT having it.

o   The only thing Moxxie is thankful about this arrangement is that Deadpool doesn’t stalk him and his wife as much as Blitzo does.

o   He wants to rip his horns out of his skull. He could barely deal with Blitzo’s taunting and bullying, now having another person doing the same is making him crazy.

o   Has the humility to admit that Deadpool is a better assassin than all of them combined, as if he or anyone else in IMP could pull off two headshots in the middle of a butterfly twist or take on over 30 men with only katanas.

o   He was absolutely terrified of Wolverine when he met him through Deadpool.

·        As a target:

o   All it took was one mission for Moxxie to realize that Deadpool can’t be killed. After shooting him point-blank with a shotgun, and when that failed, a .50 BMG sniper rifle, Moxxie saw the futility of trying to kill the Merc with a Mouth.

o   Tries to get Blitzo to end his stupid blood feud with Deadpool as he’s smart enough to know that it’ll end badly for everyone.

o   Like the rest of IMP, he had encounters with the X-Men and the Avengers when trying to kill Wade. Highlights include getting punched halfway through a building by Colossus.

o   He’s the one that proposes the ‘no superheroes’ rule, and more and more people agree as the pointless missions to kill Wade continue.

o   He almost quits IMP but decides to stay and convince Blitzo that trying to kill the unkillable isn’t going to happen.

Millie

·        As an ally

o   She and Wade have a somewhat positive relationship, they both like that they both have a proficiency in melee weapons.

o   Due to IMP working with Deadpool semi-frequently, she decides to get some practice in with swords and wants to learn more fighting skills from Wade.

o   Steps in to protect her husband from the bullying he receives from Blitzo and Deadpool; sometimes they take it a little too far to be just poking fun at Moxxie’s expense.

o   Likes watching Wade get into spats with Loona; well-deserved payback for insulting herself and her husband.

o   Met Cable through Deadpool; likes the metal arm but thinks that he’s an uptight dick.

·        As a target

o   Millie wasn’t exactly smart when it came to her first encounter with the Crimson Comedian, she thought that she could take him on with melee weapons.

o   If it weren’t for Moxxie shooting Wade with that .50 BMG sniper rifle, she would’ve died.

o   Not as determined as Loona and Blitzo in their quest to kill Deadpool, but still tags along for a while.

o   She’s the first to side with Moxxie’s ‘no superheroes’ rule after a rather close encounter with the X-Men in which she almost got beaten by Cyclops.

o   Convinces Moxxie to stay in IMP as hopefully they could get Blitzo to end their stupid and unnecessary conflict with Deadpool.

Loona

·        As an ally:

o   Who the fuck decided to get a personality clone of Blitzo? Like, seriously, who the fuck thought it was a good idea?

o   Deadpool and Loona do not get along and Blitzo trying to get these two to like each other isn’t working at all.

o   Nicknames for each other are “Douchepool”, and “Furry Bait”. Moxxie LOVES seeing Loona getting her well-deserved comeuppance for pissing him off and bullying him.

o   Has gotten into fights with Deadpool after he’s annoyed her to the point of near insanity.

o   He only pisses her off more when he jumps over her or uses a teleportation device to teleport behind her or just out of her reach.

·        As a target

o   By this point, Loona had been on a few missions, but trying to kill this douche-canoe in his stupid red suit was infuriating: WHY WON’T THIS ANNOYING MOTHERFUCKER DIE!?

o   She wants to kill Wade almost as much as Blitzo does, not for ego, but because he annoys her so much.

o   Ends up working with some of Deadpool’s enemies (T-Ray, Taskmaster, Ajax, etc) in an effort to kill him.

o   Honestly, she went at it the smartest way out of everyone, but she came to realize that trying to kill the Regenerating Degenerate is an effort in futility.

o   She’s actually the one to convince Blitzo to end their feud with Deadpool as both of them know it’s just wasting their time and money.

[youraveragemii]

KILL. anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEADCANON TIME

hankmos:

deimos and hank always crack stupid jokes when they're around each other. they probably also quote lines from those sonic fandubs from snapcube /hj. just them sharin a braincell yakno

deimos WILL climb hank and honestly hank doesn't mind. he loves the attention but he's always gonna "accuse" deimos of being the clingy one instead (hint: they're both clingy)

hank stims a LOT near deimos and loves to listen to him ramble about a topic he doesn't know about, and it's the other way around, too :]

HANK CAN SING AND DEIMOS LOVES IT!!!!!!! AND HANK CAN ALSO. PLAY GUITAR. DEIMOS LOVES THAT TOO!!! hank sometimes makes up songs on the spot (i am projecting i am projecting i am pr) but he doesn't think they're very good. AGAIN, HOWEVER, DEIMOS FUCKING LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deimos is very aggressively supportive and it gets hank all hyped up (which deimos thinks is cute). he jokingly threatens hank whenever he's sad and it always gets the merc in a better mood :]

HANK IS NOT VERY GOOD AT COMFORTING PEOPLE. however he CAN give distractions. which he is very good at. deimos appreciates this

------------------------------

NOW!!! POLYCOMBAT:

SANFORD SANFORD VERY NICE PILLOW. deimos isn't the ONLY one who goes "heh. nice tits" to sanford honestly

sanford is very good at comforting. he's very sweet about it and is willing to work through with the others to help them feel better. hank insists it's a lost cause for himself, but sanford doesn't stop trying to help

deimos and SANFO sometimes share a single braincell. sometimes it's shared with hank as well

though sanford's the smartest of the three, that doesn't stop him from joining in on their shenanigans from time to time >:]

HE COOKS, YES WE ALL AGREE HE CAN COOK. hank desperately wants sanford to teach him how to cook, and hank is actually learning rather quickly!!!! sometimes hank pops in suggestions like "oh hey, maybe you should add (insert spice here)" and sanford goes "OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT". they are a beautiful team when it comes to working in the kitchen :]

OOHHH ALL OF THIS IS SO FUCKIGN BEAUTIFUL MWAW AMWAM WAM WA MWA I AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS . UR SO RIGHT YEAH YEAH. also the sanford comforting and being good at COMFORTINNGG YESSSSS . BANGS FIST ON TABLE /pos UR SO RIGHT. sanford and 2b are knowledge combined and usually know what to do then theres hank and deimos who just go "lets just go in there guns blazing!" BUT ALL OF THIS IS SO GOOD. ALSO YESSSS ALL THE HANKMOS HCS... MWAAM WA I LOVE THIS I LOVE THEM TYSM FOR SHARING

[themculibrary]

Peter And Wade (Spideypool) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: September 3rd, 2024

part two

baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime (ao3) - ghostsoldier E, 4k

Summary: Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but…

“And the bra?” Peter croaks.

BF(F) (ao3) - Carol989 T, 10k

Summary: Five times people thought Wade and Peter were a couple which, seriously, where did they get that from? They are not a couple, stop asking. They are just friends now, and did plenty of friend stuff. Like kissing.

And one time people were right.

Can't Help Falling in Love With You (ao3) - knarcelestial T, 4k

Summary: Wade takes a step forward and sees multiple pairs of eyes flash up, vigilant, waiting patiently like starving hyenas trying to devour Bambi when he least expects it. Right, well, leaving to go order right now doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do. Wade kindly sits back down in his seat.

Or, five times Wade Wilson was jealous and the one time he acted on it (and scored himself a happy ending).

Damage (ao3) - dontcareajot M, 42k

Summary: Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.

Don't Forget To Check Your Calendar! (ao3) - spiderpoolio M, 

Summary: Peter forgets that he has a heat coming up, and in doing so causes several sticky situations to occur (thank god for Tony's NDA's).

God Save the Outcasts (ao3) - TheStigsWriterCousin E, 43k

Summary: Peter is the new kid at a school full of jerks. Wade Wilson is an outcast, deemed a freak because of his reclusive nature and dark past. Peter makes it his mission to find out if what they say about the man is true and he learns more than he could have imagined, about both Wade and himself.

Hands (ao3) - schierlingsbecher E, 25k

Summary: After going through a lot of shitty fights and missions together, Spider-Man reveals the face and name under the mask to Deadpool. Wade is stunned.

if you run fast enough (ao3) - silvyri E, 60k

Summary: Peter probably shouldn't be falling asleep on Deadpool, but after the Merc with a Mouth saves him from being abducted by two dick Alphas, he doesn't try as hard as he should to not.

I'll Be The Blood (If You'll Be The Bones) (ao3) - xenowhore M, 7k

Summary: Slowly, so that Wade could see what he was doing, Peter raised his hand and brought it gently to Wade’s shoulder. He rested it there against the warm damp skin, waiting, holding his breath. His lithe fingers spanned outward and rested delicately against the tip of Wade’s clavicle.

“Pete…?” Wade’s face was a kaleidoscope of emotions. Hope, fear, relief. Peter watched them warring across his features, watched his eyes as they darted around the room, down at Peter’s hand and back up to hesitantly look into Peter’s eyes.

morning in the burned house (ao3) - antivenom T, 50k

Summary: Wade’s got a defense mechanism. Grin and bear it.

But the thing is, Wade’s angry into his bones.

(Or, this is what happens when a seemingly unassuming, run-of-the-mill hit gets personal)

Nobody Wants To Be An Omega (ao3) - LeafyGreenQueen773 E, 164k

Summary: After he was bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker's life was swept up in a whirlwind of high-tech suits, hectic fights, and rubbing elbows with New York's finest heroes. At least he knew one thing: it was easier to be a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man as an independent Beta. But when his late presentation as an Omega nearly gets him killed, he has to face the truth: his life is anything but easy. Especially when the Alpha who gets to help him through his heats is the one and only Merc With A Mouth.

Oblivious In Love (ao3) - Atsvie T, 3k

Summary: Peter and Wade are sort of a thing. Everyone knows. Except for Peter.

Said the Fly to the Spider (ao3) - BC_Brynn M, 20k

Summary: Peter is being courted by Deadpool. With words. And life-saving.

Seven Ways To Woo (ao3) - ann_fortunately M, 10k

Summary: "I have a mission. Seven days, two people, one purpose, and three years of doing it absolutely wrong according to the social rules of pursuing romance."

or: Peter and Wade have known each other for three years now. If in Peter's opinion Wade has suddenly started acting strangely, it's most probably true.

The Darkest of our Days (ao3) - DarkMoonMaiden N/R, 14k

Summary: Peter’s whole life is crumbling apart around him, and no one seems to notice but Gwen and Wade. They just hope that they can save Peter from himself before he does something drastic…

The Hunger in Your Haunt (ao3) - bankrobbery T, 12k

Summary: ‘It doesn’t have to change anything,’ he thinks to himself, staring in the mirror at the words that refuse to budge from where they’ve permanently etched themselves into his skin, his blood, his bones. ‘Nobody has to know.’

In a world where your soulmate’s first words to you end up on your skin, Peter and Wade take turns figuring things out, rescuing each other, and falling in love.

We sweat it out in the streets of a runaway american dream (ao3) - mattfrack T, 52k

Summary: Deadpool’s back in town and Peter seems to be the only one keeping on eye on him.

you are the space in my bed (ao3) - sleeponrooftops M, 18k

Summary: There are rules, damn it. Number one: never sneak up on Peter while he’s napping or he will end up on the ceiling. Number two: stop trying to get in Peter’s pants. Wade stops listening after that one because he doesn’t like rules.

[minutemens-incorrect-files]

Hi! It’s the anon who sent the ‘bad description’ prompt in. I really liked it, do you think you could do one for the fallout 4 cast? Thanks again and keep up the good work!

Sure man! Round 2 time

Ada - she wants you to know how much she cares, so she wants you to have this tincan she found. Love is grabbing that old tire for your new best friend and giving it to them the next time they talk to you. Will murder and steal for you

Automaton (misc) - DIY replacement son/daughter. Featuring Guns, drills, and other dangerous items!

Cait - encourages drug use until she isny doin it. Could probably beat Swan in a 1:1 fight. Angery

Codsworth - lad so helpful he waited 200 years for you and also tried to polish your rusted car. Has the best sense of humor on the planet which no one appreciates

Curie - wee angel with a shotgun. Could be a metaphor for being trans. No I won't explain

Deacon - Boone's brother in eggs. Absolute dork but knows when to be serious. Never takes off his sunglasses. Humor may or may not be a coping mechanism.

Dogmeat: dog dog dog dog dog dog dog BABY ANGEL dog dog dog dog WILL RIP YOUR ENEMIES' THROATS OUT dog dog dog dog dog dog

John Hancock - the smartest drug addict you'll ever meet. Somehow quite ugly and quite handsome at the same time. Think it's the voice.

Nick Valentine - ITS SYNTH DETECTIVE, JACKASS. May or may not have an assassin in his brain, he'll never tell. Not romancable, but you wish he was.

Old Longfellow - someone gave the fisherman a gun. Just enough of a prick that I don't like him, but not enough he should get hurt

Paladin Danse - "robots are a mistake" *peacefully coexists with several and may or may not be a robot*. Needs help getting out of that propaganda..

Porter Gage - dick. Prick. Can like you too much to like you. Has an eyepatch but doesn't need it. Evil. Extra rude to Preston.

Piper Wright - Hey Blue *dahbodeedahbodah*. Local investigator with the strongest accent in diamond city. Surprisingly anti synth for being close with Nick. Can and will find the truth even if it kills her.

Preston Garvey - the definition of "light in the dark". gets so much shit from everyone for believing in the Minutemen, but then he helps bring them back so haha. Is trying his best but also pits you against a deathclaw.

Robert MacCready - rat. Acts like he's just some Merc, but is a lot like Sole In a sense. Is 23 but looks 33. Trying to fu- fricking stop swearing.

Strong - smarter than he looks, but he's also not that bright. Wants some milk, doesn't wanna go to the grocery store

X6-88 - wants you to believe he's just a robot, but is just as expressive as a normal person. Will talk about how synths are just machines, but also form opinions and express them. Also needs help getting out of that propaganda..

[lovinlikeloki]

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 04

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2.4k

King T'Challa agreed to let us stay here for a few days so that we can both recover from our fight and figure out our next move. Rogers, however, told us not to take too long, T'Challa is being very benevolent and we shouldn't risk our safety or the cleanliness of his reputation.

We've already discussed vague ideas of where we're going and who with. Splitting up is obviously the best idea, divide and conquer, and all that. Clint and Scott are going back to their families, with any luck they'll be able to negotiate for some sort of house arrest deal, but it won't be so easy for the rest of us.

The captain and Wilson are planning on sticking together, maybe go through Europe. Romanoff is planning on doing her own thing, as she usually does. Wanda is also planning on Europe, and with any hope she'll take me with her. We're still a bit awkward after our conversation in the bedroom but we're just kinda pretending it never happened. Right now I'm just discussing my plans with Wanda.

"What's your plans Fi?" she asks me.

"I was hoping to come with you Wands," I reply.

"No, absolutely not. That is not happening."

"Why the hell not? I can't go home; they have my information! And I don't want to hear the lecture that Shéa and Erin will have planned, they aren't my parents, not after they disowned me, but as legal guardians they'll have been informed."

"But Fia-"

"But nothing! I can't go back. They'll have talked to Orlaith by now, everyone knows she's my best friend. Not only that, but someone will have pointed them in Eoghan's direction and I especially can't endanger the pub. That is Eoghan's job, all the mercs' jobs, and I'm not going to take that away from them."

"Fianna I just want you to have a normal life. To be a normal teenager!"

"But I can't! Don't you get that? Ever since the damn experiments I can't be a normal teenager. My DNA has been ripped apart and rewritten, I'm not even human anymore. I'm not normal... and I never will be, not again."

"Well... I- I have an idea. Look you're not gonna like it but-"

"No."

"But I didn't even-"

"You just said I'm not gonna like it."

"Just listen Fianna," Wanda pleads.

"Fine. Go ahead," I roll my eyes.

"There's somewhere you can go. You'll be able to negotiate terms and you will be able to lead a somewhat normal life, wolf and all."

"It better not be-"

"Yes, it's Tony Stark."

"No. No way. There is no way I'm going to him of all people for help."

"Fianna please. He'll help you."

"No. He's the reason- Look Wanda, he's not in my good books. He wasn't before, and he sure as hell isn't now. Not after... not after last year."

"He can help you. He knows what you mean to me, what you meant to both of us. I've forgiven him, it's time that you do too," Wanda reasons.

"But he killed-" I trail off, tears starting to roll down my cheeks, "He's responsible for-"

Wanda moves closer, rubbing my back, letting me lean my head on her shoulder, "I know Fia, I know. He didn't though. He might've created Ultron, but he was trying to stop him too. He never meant for anyone to get hurt. Especially not Pi-"

"Don't," I jerk my head up, "No- na habair ainm s'aige! Ní dúirt- Ní dúirt mé é ó a bhfuair sé bás. Le do thoil— Wanda please."

(don't say his name! I haven't said— I haven't said it since he died. Please-)

"Okay, I won't say his name. But you won't even begin to move on, you won't begin to heal until you accept that he's gone."

I move back from her, shaking my head, "But he can't be. He just can't be gone. I already told you, he was my everything. I'm lost without him."

"But you weren't lost before him drăga, were you?" Wanda tries to reason with me.

(Darling)

"No," I wipe my tears away, "No I wasn't... but that was before all of this. Before the experiments. Before these powers. Before I met him. I can try to move on, I can, and say that maybe with time I do. But I'll always come back to him. Always love him. Always love him first. Before whoever I'm with. Whoever I marry. Whoever is the parent of my kids. They'll always be second best."

"I know, volk, I know," Wanda cradles my face in her hands, "But you will love again, maybe not as much, but you will," she wipes the tears still streaming down my face, "And while it won't be as strong it will still be as real. And no matter who it is, you know he'd be proud. You know that, right?"

(Wolf)

I nod my head, her hands moving with it before engulfing her in a hug. Wanda wraps her arms around my upper back and my head, soothing me like she did way back when. We stay like that for a minute or two and though it was a while before we pulled away it still felt too quick.

"And I'll always be here for you, fetiţa mea. Now, let's not dwell on the past, or on the future. Let us spend our time here making good memories, yeah?" Wanda smiles at me.

(My baby girl)

"Yeah," I breath, smiling back at her.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

I'm currently in Shuri's lab looking at all the cool tech she's made. She knows my skills and intellect and thought it would be cool if I got to look over her stuff and maybe even add stuff to it.

I get to browse the countertops with everything on them, the thing that sparks my interest most is the kimoyo beads. They are so freakin' cool.

I mean these thing can scan things, help heal people, control Wakandan tech, and they even make frickin' holograms! How cool is that?

"Ah, I see you've found the kimoyo beads," Shuri smiles when she sees them in my hand.

"Yeah, the tech is amazing, I mean I wouldn't even know where to begin making something like this. It's honestly incredible," I gush.

"Well, I could teach you how get started on advanced tech like this id you'd like," Shuri offers and I beam.

"Seriously?"

"Of course, I trust you, besides you're definitely capable."

"Okay then," I smile, "Where do we begin Múinteoir Shuri?"

(Teacher <prefix>)

Shuri then begins to teach me some little tips and tricks for basic tech that makes much more advanced in the long run. Just add an extra circuit here or just alter one you've already got and it takes your shit to a whole new level. Shuri might only be a little older than me but she's got some damn good skills.

She also asks me for suggestions for the new Panther Habit for T'Challa's new role as Black Panther. I give small ideas here and there but one that sticks is taking the shock absorbance to another level, redistributing the energy and making the shoes silent.

Its really nice to work with someone with Shuri's level of intelligence, she's like one of the smartest in the world. It's definitely better than the eejits (idiots) at school that I have to work with. While I'm nowhere near her level it's still good to be able to work with someone that knows what you're about to say before you even get the words out.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

After spending time in the labs with Shuri I go to the rest of the team. I'm kind of an outsider to them, they don't really know me and I don't really know them. I decide to try and approach one of them to try and... I don't know, bond? Or just become less of a stranger at least. I decide to go for who I deem the most approachable, Natasha Romanoff.

Now I know that you may think I'm crazy, thinking the easiest to approach is the fierce Black Widow, but my reasoning is somewhat solid. Romanoff was trained to read the room, read people and therefore she probably knows more about me than she lets on. We also share a somewhat similar background which while I wouldn't use as bonding material it means she can probably relate.

I sit down next to her and wait for her to make the first move, that way I won't force interaction and she can leave if the idea of it bothers her.

"Hey kid," Natasha begins.

"Hey," I reply.

"So, you're the kid Wanda always talks about," Natasha says absentmindedly.

"I guess I am. Wanda talks about me?"

"Oh all the time. She loves to talk about her little sister, the Volchitsa."

(She-wolf)

"Yeah... the irony of it all is almost comical."

"What irony," Natasha questions and I realise I hadn't explained.

"It's just my name," I shake my head, "Fianna, it's an Irish name. It has many meanings behind it depending on where you look, but the direct translation is what's funny."

"And why's it funny?" Natasha quirks an eyebrow.

"Because, what could be better for the girl who's a wolf than a name that means deer?"

Natasha nods, a small smile on her lips, "I do see the irony there. A predator named after her prey. But the Volchitsa is a good strong name, names are powerful things."

"They used to call me the Wölfin in HYDRA, another she-wolf nickname, this time in German, it was becoming feared. Black Widow is a strong name, also scary. A good name for a skilled agent though, the spider who eats her mate."

(She-wolf)

"I didn't get to choose that name," Natasha tells me, "It was chosen for me when I was even younger than you."

"Oh, I- I'm sorry," I stammer.

"Don't be. As you said, it's another strong name, a scary one too. The important thing is that the name Black Widow was once feared for bad reasons, now it's welcomed for good ones. Wölfin was feared because she was strong and could be used for bad reasons, use that or pick your own name that can be welcomed because she can use her skills for good."

I nod my head, slightly in thought, "I've had many names since getting my powers, Wölfin by HYDRA, Volchitsa by the twins, and back home the mercs, they called me an Mac Tíre. Again it means wolf, but this time in Irish, it feels more me but I can't use it anymore. Not if I'm going where Wanda wants me to."

"As I said, names are powerful. Having too many doesn't have to be a bad thing, it gives you options, I've had many aliases in my time, Natalia Alianova Romanova, Natalie Rushman, Nadia Roberts. It means that you can be whoever you want."

"...That's inspiring. Wölfin was a weapon, a child soldier, not someone I wanna be."

"Then don't be. Volchitsa was who the twins saw you as. A fluffball that they needed to protect," Natasha points out.

"Not her either, I'm different, I've changed since the twins- since Wanda last knew me," I correct myself but Natasha knows my slip up, she does, however, not bring it up.

"That currently leaves you with Mactíre."

"Yeah, the mercenary with a bite. I wasn't the only young merc but I'm the most memorable back home. Mactíre isn't feared per se, but she's respected and dangerous but kind, fiercely loyal."

"That sounds like someone I'd wanna be."

I look her in the eyes and can tell she's genuine, of course she is. The Mactíre is a good person, or at least she is now, her past isn't so good, a lot bloodier than it is now, but she's different. Natasha's right when she says that names have power. Mactíre is who I am now, maybe if I change again I'll use a newer name, or not, maybe I'll be a Mactíre mark II.

"Thanks Natasha, that means a lot," I tell her.

She nods before asking a question, "What did you mean when you said you couldn't be Mactíre where Wanda wants you to go?"

I internally sigh, I slipped up, she's Romanoff of course she didn't let it slide.

"I- Wanda wants me to go to Stark when we split. She thinks that he'll protect me and let me be normal. But he won't, he only protects himself."

"That's not true you know. That's actually the reason he signed the accords, he thinks we need to be put in check or we'll lose more lives than we save."

"Is that really the reason?" I quirk an eyebrow, "Or did someone say something and he feels the need to cover his ass?"

"That I can't answer. But he would protect you Fianna, he protected Wanda when Sokovia happened."

"Maybe, maybe he won't since I helped Steve. All I know is that he's hurt people I love and I don't forgive easy. Loyal remember? Fiercely loyal."

Natasha ponders what I've said for a moment before carefully choosing her words. "You make points, but I believe that he'll do the right thing. It'd be good for both of you, you'd get closure for the one's he's hurt and he'll get to face the consequences of his actions like he wants to. Besides, if you need somewhere to lay low I might now somewhere you can stay for a bit until you sum up the courage to face him."

"I- really?" I ask, unsure of whether or not she's kidding.

"Really," she confirms.

"Why?"

"I know what it's like to have to face something... especially your past, you need to build up to it."

"Thank you Natasha."

[profishionals-have-standards]

outlaw.txt

figure I may as well post some of the reference notes I made for a gift exchange whee. includes a few design notes as well as a little writeup about her interactions with the mercs

-Her main weapons are 4 revolvers of unspecific design (think cool, vintage wild west looking ones though. possible reference: the Mysterious Magnum from Fallout:New Vegas), a lever-action hunting rifle (reference: brush gun/Medicine Stick also from Fallout:New Vegas...can you tell where I get my knowledge of guns?) and a long, brown leather bullwhip. The 4 revolvers are kept in holsters on her sides, the rifle slung around her back, and the bullwhip coiled and attached to her belt by her right hip.

-The only things really missing from her physical reference are the fact that she sometimes will cover her face with a black bandanna, especially in cold weather. She also typically has a medium-sized leather bag strapped to her belt that sits at the small of her back. Finally, she'll also occasionally wear black fingerless leather gloves just for the hell of it.

-The following design elements on her current picture are not set in stone and can be stylized however you like: the clasp of her bolo tie (base design is a thunderbird, feel free to look up Navajo silver jewelry if you want inspo for the kinds of stuff she'd have), the general shape of her hat, her belt and belt buckle, and the designs on her boots. She also wears grey denim jeans by default but they can be any normal jeans color if it looks better. Basically I'm not super picky as long as we get the general character concept. If you draw her with the leather jacket you are absolutely free to simplify the design, as long as it has some cool leather fringe. It's also worth noting she doesn't, at this point in her life, have really any winter-appropriate clothes apart from the one coat, which means she can wear whatever you want!

-Not indicated well on the reference, but she's about 5'8"--just a bit taller than Engie (we love and support tiny Engie lmao).

-Scars (absolutely not required and probably won't even be visible but I'm referencing them anyway): small one near right eye, from childhood bullwhip training; two jagged lines on right forearm, unknown (she makes up a different story every time); old bullet wound on right outer thigh that healed terribly.

Quick summary of her established relationships with/opinions of each the mercs: -Sniper: oh boy. handsome aussie who had her eye from day one--no, don't make it weird, quit it Vance! definitely don't start fallin' for your teammates like that, that never ends well.....too late. -Scout: kinda a dumb kid but he's alright. great partner in crime for shenanigans around the base. he can be a bit obnoxious for her at times, but she supposes it's a passable change of pace from the last many years of living basically alone. lowkey jealous he's the only one on the team who's faster and more agile than she is, but she can and will trip him with her whip from time to time just to show him up. she also would definitely wingman for him just to get him to move on from Miss P tbh. -Pyro: she feels very bad about their initial meeting (accusing them of burning down their house) and they're the only merc that gets complete amnesty from her bullshit. pyro has to mom-friend her now and then, and is also one of the only ones who can get away with that. she was able to pick up understanding them pretty quickly, which only solidified their friendship. -Spy: not a fan, honestly. rather than underestimating him, she recognizes exactly how dangerous he is and he reminds her far too much of a lot of men she's been tasked to kill over the years. he gets under her skin easier than she'd like, which doesn't help either. fun fact, if she found out about the business with Scout and his ma, she'd probably try to kill spy for real :) -Heavy: they don't interact a ton, but he's more polite than half these goons and she respects that. she's also a bit intimidated by the fact he's one of the only teammates she absolutely could *not* take in a fight. he's also been refreshingly normal about having a woman on base from day one, and she wouldn't be surprised if he mentally relates her to his sisters a bit (based on what she's heard about them, that's a compliment she'll take happily!) -Medic: this man's aura is *messed up* and she can feel it. she has no great trust or fondness for doctors to begin with, and there's a familiar unsettling energy to him that just puts it over the top. she refuses to let him actually sedate her for any medical procedures, as she is insistent on all her organs staying right where they are, thanks. It's a bit of a shame, as he doesn't seem that bad otherwise, but the tangible weirdness around his soul(s?) is too overbearing for her. -Demo: now this guy knows how to have a good time! they immediately connect over their various run-ins with the supernatural, and demo is one of the only ones she'd trust to actually believe her about the deal with her soul. basically they get along like a house on fire, to the amusement (or dismay) of the rest of the team. he's also one of the most likely to accept or throw down ridiculous challenges, which indulges her competitive, show-offy side to no end. -Soldier: honestly didn't like him at first--far too loud, and couldn't tell if his complaints about "women" on the battlefield were serious or not. once she got a better read on him, that he's really just a bit...odd, and maybe not fully anchored in reality, they got along much better. she's geniunely still unsure what to make of his history, especially with merasmus, and is probably still trying to process it to this day. Reminds her a bit of her father (not like that, you weirdo), at least that she knows how to deal with men who are a little strange in the head but still kind and decent folk. -Engie: another one of the mercs who made a good first impression on her, theyve gotten along well since day one. Growing up in such similar areas gives them a lot in common so it's not surprising they hit it off. It helps that he's one of the smartest folks she's ever met who isn't so irritatingly arrogant and full of themself. She's markedly insecure about her lack of formal education, but he's never been condescending about it and that alone earned him a ton of points in her book. That, and he makes a good barbeque.

[everythinggodofwar]

The Treasure of Koninsgard (part 5)

Their first stop was the dwarves’ shop on the realm travel bridge.

“You’re gonna love Brok and Sindri!” Atreus declared to Sigyn as they stepped out of the realm between realms. “They’re the best crafters in all the nine realms!”

“Ah, stop. I’ll blush!” Sindri exclaimed from where he was sitting and eating an apple.

“Quiet!” Brok yelled. “Can’t you see I’m focusing?”

“But you’re..” Atreus began with the intention of pointing out that Brok was just watching water boil, but decided against it. “Brok and Sindri, this is Sigyn!”

“Hello, Sigyn!” Sindri greeted.

“Hello..” Sigyn kind of hung towards the back, allowing Kratos and Atreus to go ahead and, once again, subconsciously playing with her hair.

“The girl needs a weapon.” Kratos told Sindri as they both came up to the wooden table where they usually made their exchanges. “What do you have?”

“Well! We have a fine selection of bows!” He reached in his bag and pulled out a simple wooden bow and a quiver full of arrows. “And by ‘fine selection’ I mean.. one bow.. that I can upgrade for you.”

“I already have a weapon!” Sigyn interjected; she pulled her dagger out and held it to where Kratos could see it. “See?”

“A dagger requires you to get close enough to your enemies to hit them..” He set some hacksilver down on the counter and grabbed the bow and quiver. He turned to Sigyn. “Keep your distance. And only fire.. if I tell you to fire.”

“Okay..” With a frown, she took the bow and quiver. She told herself she should be grateful, but she had no idea how to shoot.

“I can show you.” Atreus offered, almost if he had read her mind.

She gazed at him in surprise. After a moment she nodded. “Okay.”

“Well look who’s up and around!” Brok finally acknowledged Sigyn.

She just smiled, both of her hands having been occupied with strapping the quiver on.

“This is Sigyn.” Atreus said.

“I heard ya the first time!”

“Oh..”

“So you’re that ‘treasure of Koninsgard’ Huh? Not what I expected.. but we’re - uh- glad to have ya!”

Sigyn gave him a questioning look. “What’s Koninsgard?”

Brok gave Kratos a surprised glance, then looked back at Sigyn. She didn’t know about Koninsgard? “King Motsognir?”

“Who?”

“Where’d you come from?”

She froze for a moment and turned her head away ever so slightly to avoid looking at Brok. “No- Nowhere important.”

“Huh.” He studied her for a moment- he, like everybody else, had no idea what to make of her- then grabbed a box from under a table. “Here. I got something for ya.”

Sigyn glanced nervously at Atreus, then Kratos, who nodded as to say go ahead. She cautiously approached the table where the dwarf dug around in an old crate.

“Gah- I know it’s here somewh- aha!” He pulled out a small set of simple armor and dropped it on the table. “Oughta help keep ya safe from any stray arrows and such.”

“Hm.” Sigyn studied the armor carefully. “My coat is warm; this looks cold.”

“Then put the coat on over it! Yeesh.”

“Okay.” With a shrug, she took her coat that she’d technically been wearing for at least few centuries off, uncovering her tattered, long sleeved shirt underneath and revealing a few blue colored tattoos peeking out from beneath her sleeve. Atreus could see a few runes but he didn’t have enough time to make anything out of it. Sigyn put the flexible, lightly metal plated vest on and tied the red rope around her waist to keep it in place. It was a little long on her -actually it was very long- as it nearly reached the middle of her thighs, but at least it would help protect her more. Not that it mattered, she didn’t plan on needing it for much longer.

“So?”

She threw her coat back on over it and shrugged. “Adequate for now.”

Mimir laughed louder than he meant to. Kratos almost smiled.

“‘Adequate?!’” Brok exclaimed and turned to glare at Kratos. “You sure she ain’t yours?”

Atreus laughed. “I think I’d know if I had a sister!”

Kratos gave the boy a questioning glance, then turned to leave, now done with the conversation. “Come. We are leaving.”

“In any case she’ll fit right in!” With that, Brok marched back to finish whatever he was cooking.

Atreus and Sigyn followed after Kratos. Atreus was a excited that he got to hunt with a new friend; Kratos, however, found it rather inconvenient that he now had to make sure the girl didn’t get herself killed. He could guarantee that they would be attacked by one thing or another on their trip; though he knew Atreus could handle himself to some extent, it it didn’t look like the girl had had much experience in combat if any at all.

Kratos forced the large stone door open and held it for the children to go through, then allowed it to slam shut behind them once they were all outside on the bridge.

Sigyn’s eyes grew wide as she took everything in. “Wow,” was all she could say as she looked around at the bridge and the lake surrounding them. When she turned around to face the building they were just in her attention was grabbed by the massive statue and the overall grandeur of the temple. “What is this place?”

“It’s the realm travel bridge; this is the lake of nine that we’re in the middle of.” Atreus explained as he gestured to the lake and then to the temple. “In the middle of that temple there’s a room that lets people travel to different realms!”

“Different realms?” She grew thoughtful. “Like Asgard?”

He gave her a slightly confused look. “Well, Yeah.. but why would you want to go to Asgard?”

“I don’t. I’m just curious.”

“I’m afraid travel to any realm without the proper travel rune is impossible, and Odin made sure that no one could go to and from Asgard unless he wants them too; so, Asgard is off limits to us.” Mimir pointed out. “.. Not that I would suggest it either way.”

“I don’t want to go to Asgard.”

“Good. Let us go then.” Kratos rushed, growing weary of standing around. He made his way down the stair case as Atreus and Sigyn followed.

Once they reached the boat dock, Kratos handed the head to Atreus, and the two climbed in just like they always did. Atreus frowned when he saw Sigyn still standing on the boat dock awkwardly waiting and realized there was no seat for her on the boat.

“Here.” He swiflty moved to sit on the floor of the boat and sat Mimir on the side opposite to him. “You can sit there!”

“Oh that’s-”

“Its okay! Trust me!”

Sigyn hesitated at first, but she agreed and carefully climbed into the boat and sat in the spot Atreus usually was.

Once everyone was situated, Atreus sitting in what small space their was on the floor with Mimir and Sigyn sitting across from Kratos, Kratos pushed off from the pier and began to row towards a dock he knew led a to a decent hunting area near the foot of the mountain.

Atreus noticed Sigyn playing with her hair again. She seemed to do that whenever she was nervous. Maybe he could do something to make her feel better? “Mimir!”

“Aye lad?”

“Do you have a story? Maybe Sigyn would like to hear one?”

“I just might! How about it, lass?”

Sigyn let go of her hair, but her hands still fidgeted in her lap. “Sure.”

“Very well! How about a familiar one? It begins with a father and son on a journey to scatter the ashes of the woman they both loved.”

Kratos groaned, but he did not object to Mimir telling her their story.

“Before she died, the boy’s mother and his father’s beloved wife had made the very specific request that her ashes be taken to the highest peak in all the realms and scattered there.”

“This sounds familiar.” Atreus pointed out with a hint of sarcasm.

“Their journey was long and grueling, but alas they made it to the highest peak! ... in Midgard.. Once they fought their way to the very top of the mountain they met a clever, rather dashing, gentleman who informed them that they, though they had worked so hard to get there, were sadly not at the highest peak in all the realms. For the highest peak in all the realms was not here in Midgard, but Jotunheim.”

“Jotunheim?”

“Aye. Jotunheim.. Though they were disappointed, they were in luck! For that gentleman they met was none other than the smartest man alive! And he knew just how to get them to where they needed to go. All they had to do was free him from his binds to a tree where his former Master had trapped him.. by cutting off his head and bringing it to a witch that could reanimate him, who turned out to be none other than the goddess Freya herself.”

“Mmhmm.” Sigyn has caught on that the story was about them at that point, and she was interested.

“The journey was even longer and more grueling after that. First, to carve the rune they needed to open the gate to Jotunheim, convieniently placed on top of the very mountain they had originally gone to, they needed a piece of a magic chisel wielded by Thamur the stonemason giant.”

As Kratos neared the boat dock, Mimir realized he would not finish his story this time, so he decided to start wrapping this bit up.

“After ever-so-subtly breaking through a thick layer of ice to get to the chisel by knocking Thamur’s old hammer over, the pair had to fight off the sons of Thor themselves! Magni and Modi.. The battle was difficult, but the father managed to overcome Magni and kill him, overcoming his coward brother Modi with fear and causing him to flee - which would later on cause trouble.”

Just as he finished his sentence, Kratos pulled up on the dock and stopped the boat next to it.

“And we’ll finish this later!”

Atreus handed his father the head and followed him in jumping out of the boat. Once, the others were off, Sigyn stood up and jumped off too. “Are stories only for the boat?”

“Strictly.”

“Okay.”

“Draugr!” Atreus yelled as a couple draugr jumped out from behind the rocks.

“Ready yourself!”

Sigyn pulled out her bow, but took a few steps back and let the other two do the fighting. She pulled an arrow out and placed it on the string like she ready to shoot, even though she knew she wouldn’t. She remembered Kratos’ command to not fire unless he told her to.. and she knew he wouldn’t tell her too.. so she obeyed. She just watched as Kratos mercilessly struck the enemies down one by one with his axe and Atreus shot his arrows from a small distance, yelling to warn Kratos about incoming fire and occasionally running to whack or choke one of the enemies.

Finally, they finished off the last draugr. Sigyn relaxed and put the bow away and stuck the arrow back in the quiver. Kratos just hung his axe back on its hook on his back, grabbed whatever the enemies had dropped, and continued on like it was nothing. Atreus followed, looking back to make sure Sigyn was coming; she hurried along after them when Atreus waved her on.

“What are we hunting?” Atreus asked his father.

“That is for you to decide.”

“Oh.. deer?”

“Is that a question?”

“Deer.” He looked back at Sigyn, who was following a little ways behind. “Do you hunt, Sigyn?”

She shook her head.

“Oh.. well.. maybe I can show you a little!” His attention was grabbed by a set of tracks in a mud puddle he was about to step in. “Look!” He waved Sigyn over; hesitantly, she came over and examined the tracks with him. “They’re from a deer. See how the tips come to a point? If the tips were a little wider that would mean they might have come from a mountain goat.”

“You can really tell that by their feet?”

“Yeah! And look; see how the mud hasn’t had time to move around them yet? That means their fresh, so it must be close!” He stood up and started off in the direction of the deer.

Sigyn followed close behind; Kratos kept a bit of a distance, but stayed close enough to keep an eye on them.

Atreus stopped to examine some more tracks. “They’re fresh too, but.. they’re not deer. Looks like a boar.”

“Good.” Kratos said as he bent down to look at the tracks with him. Sigyn stood to the side and watched.

“Should I keep looking for the deer? Or go after the boar?”

“I trust you to decide that.”

“Oh! Well.. the deer is bigger. And easier to-”

“Easier?”

“Well.. Yeah. I think they’re easier to kill than boars.”

“Hmph.” Kratos stood up. “Then you will hunt the boar.”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said. Hunt the boar.”

“Rrrnnn.” Atreus groaned. He stood up and started to head in the direction of the boar’s tracks. He was disappointed to have to start over, but at least he knew the animal was close.

As she followed along quietly, Sigyn noticed a certain bush with a purple petal flower her mother had showed her how to crush into a fine powder that could be used for a multitude of different things. Quickly, she plucked all the flowers off the plant and gently placed them in an empty pouch she had tied to her belt. When she was done, she glanced up to see Kratos glaring down at her -not necessarily angrily but grimly enough that Sigyn worried she had done something wrong.

After a moment of awkwardly staring at him, Sigyn held out one of the flowers for him and smiled.

He looked down at the delicate little flower in her hand with narrowed eyes. He would never say it, but she reminded him so much of Calliope. That sweet, soft tempered spirit paired with a strong will and a big heart.. He imagined that if Calliope had been a little older she would have been just like this girl. Perhaps that’s why he had pretty much already decided she could not stay.

“Rrn.” He broke his gaze at the girl’s offering and turned to continue on with Atreus, who was now studying a new set of tracks, completely oblivious to the exchange between Sigyn and his father.

“I think the boar went this way.”

“Good.”

Atreus pulled his bow out and placed an arrow on the string when he heard the sound of a boar’s snorting nearby. “I hear it!”

“Careful, boy.”

“I know.”

Atreus crept up a flight of ruined stone steps and peaked over the top to see the animal grazing obliviously. He drew the bow back and steadied his breaths.

Feet firm.

Hand steady.

Exhale.

Release.

He loosed the arrow, hitting it directly between its ribs and striking it in the heart. The boar jumped a little, fell over on its side, took a few strained breaths, and died. Atreus sighed, relieved that it had died almost instantly and that he wouldn’t have to finish it off with his dagger.

“I did good. Yeah?”

“Be more silent next time. It is easy to frighten an animal. You must not let it get it’s guard up.”

“Yes sir... I’ll be more careful next time.”

“Mm.” Fully aware that the boy wasn’t strong enough to lift it, Kratos made his way over to pick the animal up and carry it home.

Sigyn watched with intrigue as Kratos casually picked up the rather large animal and just threw it over his shoulder. She was impressed -though not surprised- but she didn’t know the half of it.

They began to make their way back to the boat. Unfortunately there were no world tree gates nearby to use to get back home faster, but Kratos at least was perfectly content with walking.

As they made their way down the convenient path that led by an ancient looking circle of pillars, Sigyn’s attention was once again pulled away by a familiar plant growing next to one of the pillars. Hurrying to keep Kratos from noticing, she quickly ran over and plucked some of the leaves off and stuck them in her satchel. As she studied the contents of the bag she considered what kinds of things she could do with these ingredients; the two that she had already collected would be enough to make a few strength enhancing potions. Certainly the others would appreciate that.

She found herself losing herself in thought as she considered what other ingredients she would have to find to do a tracking spell on her mother.

“Girl..” Kratos pulled Sigyn out of her daze.

She looked up to see that Kratos and Atreus were waiting for her a little ways ahead. “Sorry..” A little embarrassed, she held her head down and carefully closed the satchel. She internally kicked herself for getting distracted again.

“It’s-” Atreus’ eyes went wide and he pointed at something behind Sigyn. “Watch out!!”

Before she could react, a massive hand grabbed Sigyn from behind and tossed her tiny, limp body to the side like nothing.

Sigyn scrambled to get back up, but the furious troll pounded the ground with the huge totem in his hand, sending a surge of energy that knocked her back to the ground.

Atreus rushed at the troll in a yelling rage while Kratos yelled for him to calm himself. Kratos’ warning seemed to fall on deaf ears as Atreus furiously charged in and fired electrified arrows at the monster.

“Calm down, boy!”

“Die damn it!” Atreus screamed at the monster, not hearing -or just ignoring- his father’s commands.

“Atreus!”

The arrows mostly seemed to aggravate the unusually large troll. With each arrow that struck him, it grew more and more angry until it let out a roar and swung its totem furiously at the boy.

Since Atreus was letting himself become so overcome by emotion and therefore wasn’t being attentive enough, the swing hit him head on and knocked him on his back.

Kratos charged at the monster as it raised its weapon high up in the air with the intention of bringing it down on Atreus -who was on the ground and trying to scoot out of the way but was a bit too dazed from being hit so hard. Kratos jumped in front of Atreus and braced himself to stop that totem from hitting his son.

With all its might, the monster swung its weapon.

Before it could even touch Kratos or Atreus a huge ball of fire flew through the air and struck the troll, causing him to stumble to the side and have to regain his composure.

Kratos’ first instinct was to check on Atreus. He turned and knelt down to make make sure he was not injured; he was not, but his eyes were wide with both amazement and terror as he stared past Kratos. “Father..”

Kratos stood up and spun around, ready to destroy whatever it was Atreus was staring at.

Much to his surprise, instead of another enemy, he saw Sigyn, now standing in the middle of a circle of white fire swirling around the ground, the same surreal flames engulfing her clenched fists and her eyes now bright yellow rather than the usual green. Almost as if she were in a trance, she turned her head to Kratos and Atreus and just stared for a moment.

Kratos held his arm out in front of Atreus in an instinct to protect him.. but Sigyn did not come towards them. She didn’t even move. After a moment of her just looking at them, her attention was pulled away by the troll getting back up and charging at her.

“Father!” Atreus jumped up and tried to push past his father to go help Sigyn, but Kratos grabbed his arm and held him back.

“No, boy!”

“We have to help!”

Suddenly Sigyn seemed to break out of her motionless trance and summoned another massive ball of fire around her fist and threw it at the troll. It seemed to work; the attack seemed to stun the monster as it knelt down on the ground and breathed heavily... Kratos saw the opportunity and took it; he jumped up and charged the beast. He jumped on its head and pulled it back by its horns, and, as it tried to take a swing at him, he grabbed the extremely heavy weapon and used it to smash the trolls head once he had knocked it on the ground.

After the troll was good and dead, he turned around to see Sigyn lying unconscious on the ground, blood dripping from her nose and her skin even paler than usual. Atreus sat next to her with his hand on her shoulder gently but urgently shaking her to wake her up.

“Father!” He called out desperately. “Father, she’s sick. She’s-” Kratos came over and knelt down next to her and placed his hand on her forehead.

“She has a fever.”

“Is it what I had?”

“No..” Kratos observed her bleeding nose; Atreus had never had that. “This is something else.”

“Did.. did you know?”

“.. no. I did not know.”

“Mimir?”

“Sorry, little brother.. I’m afraid not.”

“She’s..” Atreus shook his head, still trying to fully comprehend what he had just seen. “She’s a god?”