#smart men hit different !!!??

[lovecolibri]

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[justblades]

when i saw welt in your wip list i almost fainted god bless.

amen 🙏🏻 the way idrc if he has kids or if he's divorced i'm making him fuck me !! use those baby making methods / experience with me 😻😻 yum

[peniswizard69]

Yeah I'm in STEM

Somebody once

Told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the backstreets? You'll never know if you don't go (W-w-wacko) You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey now, you're an all star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid (And all that glitters is gold) Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's gettin' warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey now, you're an all star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid (All that glitters is gold) Only shootin' stars break the mold Hey now, you're an all star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid (And all that glitters is gold) Only shooting stars… Somebody once asked, "Could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place" I said, "Yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change" Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the backstreets? You'll never know if you don't go (Go!) You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey now, you're an all star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid (And all that glitters is gols) Only shootin' stars break the mold (And all that glitters is gold) Only shootin' stars break the mold

Engineering

Math

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 1 — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 20k 😍

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, jk sluts it out quite often😞, hopeless romantic!oc, countless mentions of weddings and engagements, angsty undertones, it’s the… yearning? 97liners assemble lmao, the surgeons gang: jk, oc, nayeon, doyeon, taehyung <3, explicit sexual content [dry h*mping, making out, c*nnilingus], alcohol consumption, arguments 🤓, i personally have only acquired a degree on Bingewatching Grey’s Anatomy so my medical knowledge is.. you see.. greys anatomy 💔 BUT! i did a lot of research for this pls dont crucify me 🙏🏼 belated happy birthday jaykay, my forever muse❤️❤️

NOTES hello awrkive nation!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry this got delayed!! gave up on trying to make this a one shot cos it stretched out into 50k words IM SORRY! anyways check out my trello page for updates on my writing progress 🩷 make sure to comment down ur thoughts and like and reblog to circulate hehe !! asks are deeply appreciated!! scream your takes!! let me know what you think!! also made a spotify playlist for this mini-series soooo if u wanna listen to the songs that i think embody this fic, i've linked it below 🫶🏼

[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

For as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

The girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations and a cute little beach wedding to boot. You’re the kind of girl who thought her high school jock boyfriend would make good on his promise of keeping contact until college. That girl who thought the guy she met at nineteen at some sleazy frat party wanted more than just sex. The girl who thought that her boyfriend at twenty-one would finally be The One after introducing her to his parents on New Year’s Eve. You’re exactly the kind of girl who thought that it was smart to get a boyfriend in her first year of med school and get proposed to in fourth year.

Reality pretty much hit you hard with a big slap on the face; because you soon found out that your love interest doesn’t suddenly come into your life while you clock in your shift at a coffee shop, and there is no such thing as grand love declarations – no one wanted to profess their love to somebody at airports anymore, or even in the pouring rain, for god’d sake! And there is never going to be a beach wedding when there’s no one to do it with in the first place.

Because even if you do everything right, men just always somehow manage to do you wrong.

Your first boyfriend, Changsub, just suddenly ghosted you after you moved to a different town for college. When you saw him again for winter break, he was dating the girl from his History class – the blondie who was always the cause of your heated arguments in the lockers because you’ve always been jealous of her. Needless to say, you never talked to him again, and Changsub never bothered to reach out either.

At nineteen, you met Soohyun at a frat party your roommate invited you to. He was part of your college’s football team – the regular famous jock, and you felt a little bit special when he showed you a little bit of attention. When he chased you for a while, you caved in and had sex for the first time. You soon realized that was his thing – “popping them girls’ cherries” – as what you’ve overheard from his equally asshole teammates when you made an impromptu visit at their sweaty, stinky locker rooms – and that he apparently had a thing for girls in the cheerleading team (you were a part of it for awhile). Soohyun just told you it wasn’t working anymore. He was out and about with another girl three days later.

You swore at twenty-one, you were smarter. Heck, you got your heart broken two times already by then by the same brand of asshole with two different names and faces! You must’ve been a bit wiser, no?

But in your defense, Jaehyun was totally different from Changsub and Soohyun. He wasn’t an athlete. He was low-key… an introvert, and a total nerd. A film major guy who was so good at getting you through his art. He told you you were his muse, and you believed it wholeheartedly for the almost three years you’ve dated, most especially when he brought you to his hometown that one New Year’s Eve and introduced you to his family on your first anniversary.

You don’t exactly know what happened then… he just ran cold. Backed out of your plans of moving in together. Suddenly got so busy with his gigs when he normally would make time. Until the elephant in the room was acknowledged and it was just over before you knew it.

That relationship was your first “I love you”, Jaehyun said it was the same for him.

Fast forward, he gets married two years into the break-up, which is six years ago from the present. He has three kids now, two lovely girl twins and one boy. You didn’t go to the wedding, just sent him a post-it card that said you’re happy for him.

Which is true. He was your first love, but the heartbreak didn’t last long like you thought it would.

Because lastly, there was Eunwoo. The guy you met during the construction of the condominium near the apartment where you were staying at for med school.

Cha Eunwoo was an intern architect around that time, a nice one at that that it didn’t really take long for you guys to hit it off. Too many encounters on the street made you think that maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence anymore that he was there whenever you walked passed by. You really thought it would be difficult for you to love somebody again like how you loved Jaehyun… but Eunwoo made it easy. He did everything right. From the cute encounter, a grand love declaration in your fourth year together wherein he proposed to you in a romantic cruise ship dinner, down to the beach wedding he promised you during that night.

What was supposed to be a three-month engagement lasted longer than you both wanted, though. And it was mostly due to you because you told him you couldn’t marry yet. Not until you pass your licensure exam. Unintentionally, it stretched into a year. Eunwoo blamed it on your internship, said you were too busy that you couldn’t really give him time anymore.

You still remember that argument so vividly inside your head. When you said you told him already that it was life for you in residency. He rebutted with the sentiment that if you wanted to, you would. But you knew it was unfair of him to say that – not when he was also volunteering himself for the mountain of projects at his firm just so he could impress the senior architects there. Eventually, the engagement was called off. You two broke up. You both settled that it was the schedule conflict… you were just both so busy with your careers. Such big ambitions. So much to prove, passionate to a fault.

But two years ago, Eunwoo got married, and his wife is a general physician. The last time you two accidentally bumped into each other at a café downtown, he said he was “so happy and contented” that he felt like “taking a sabbatical to focus on being a husband”.

You guessed then he doesn’t actually mind dating doctors. Doesn’t mind making sacrifices for them. He just minds specifically you.

Your long, tragic dating history should already stop you by now from believing in love altogether. You mean, it just never works out for you, do they? The universe gives you a taste of what it’s like to embark on that journey, but it never takes you to the final destination.

But what can you say… love is just so special to you; romance, falling in love… they hold a significant place in your heart that you can’t help but bet on it every time it comes. You just have so much love to give – but unfortunately no one to give it to, because the men you date always don’t want you in the end of it all.

It bubbles up frustration in you, especially when you see all your exes getting fucking married left and right and them having the audacity to send you an invitation – and even thank you for what you’ve helped made them become. Eunwoo made that lame ass speech in the café. It’s such a subtle physical act of slapping you right on the bone of your cheeks and violently hurts you psychologically.

You’re frustrated that marriage seem to come easy for them, but never for you.

It’s why you unintentionally spat water out of your mouth when one of your co-residents, close friend, Nayeon, announced:

“Minhyuk proposed!”

Naturally, your other friends at the cafeteria attend to your spluttering, with Doyeon patting your back and asking, “Girl, are you okay?”

You shake your head repeatedly at them, tapping your chest to regulate your breathing, putting on a tight smile before turning to Nayeon.

“I’m sorry— what? Minhyuk proposed?” You ask her, and you don’t intend it to sound incredulous.

Nayeon, thank god, doesn’t notice it. And you realize it’s because she’s in a lovesick haze to care about anything else.

“Yep!” She almost squeals. “You guys are all invited to the engagement party next week on Friday.” She giggles when Doyeon pokes her side, lightheartedly teasing her about the wedding.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you!” You say, grinning widely, but your jaw hurts from the way you forced it. You look at each one of them; Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung. “You guys are soon gonna be… married.”

Taehyung turns to Doyeon, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Doyeon’s still single, though.”

Doyeon throws a napkin at him. “It’s because your kind are bums. Anyway, Taehyung is also still not married.”

Taehyung pauses. Then, he purses his lips into a thin line, raising his eyebrows, nodding slowly.

“Well… about that…”

“He’s planning to propose to Hyerin!” Nayeon exclaims and quickly covers her mouth when some of the doctors in the cafeteria turned their heads to look in your direction. She shrinks herself small, as if realizing what she’s done, and then her eyes widen when she sees your guys reaction. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, Taehyung!” Nayeon quickly apologizes to him who looks like heaven and earth fell on him. She scrambles to say, “It’s just that I saw the ring in his locker today and so of course I have to ask and you guys met Hyerin, she’s an amazing woman and I’m so excited for her and Taehyung and she are a good couple aaand… I’m shutting my mouth.” She stops, closing an imaginary zipper over her lips when she notices the death glare Taehyung’s sending her way.

He turns to look at the rest of you.

“Well… you heard it from her.”

“Oh my god, Tae! This is insane!” Doyeon tells him. “When are you proposing?”

Taehyung shakes his head and rubs his nape. “I don’t know… she has this, uh, case that she’s confident on winning this Thursday. Maybe I’m going to do it when she gets home that day…” he trails off, and Nayeon coos at him when she sees his ears turning red. Doyeon throws back the napkin Taehyung threw at him, and she receives a juvenile pinch on the arm from Taehyung back.

You laugh along with them.

But deep inside, you’re finding it hard to process all the information that you learned today. You were just letting out words when you said that they were all going to be married, an exaggeration at best, because Nayeon is apparently now a fiancé, Taehyung has been in a long-term relationship with his prosecutor girlfriend that it’s easy to assume their next step is tying it down, and Doyeon is single but you refuse to believe that’s the case. It’s a wild theory that your friends have but you all feel like she has a secret boyrfriend or something.

Apparently, though, you’re not exaggerating at all. Because Taehyung is indeed planning to tie it down.

“It seems like everybody is getting married these days, no?” Doyeon mentions. She looks at you and you feel your heart beating abnormally for some reason. “What about you, __? How did that blind date last week go?”

She’s talking about the guy whom your cousin set you up with a few months back and have only gotten around to meet a week ago, Park Hyungshik.

They all seem to eagerly wait for your answer, and you can only meekly shake your head, sipping on a juice box so your jittering fingers can have something to do.

“It was okay.”

You can see the way their shoulders deflate, and you know you don’t need to explain the details for them to know how bad the date actually went.

“Fuck men.” Doyeon sighs.

“I agree.” Taehyung affirms, followed by Nayeon.

It earns a laugh from you.

“Fuck off, you guys.” You say, rolling your eyes, knowing they’re blindly judging Hyungshik in unconditional support for you. The joke is appreciated though, as it makes you light up and forget about the sudden grey that washes over your insides at the terrifying thought that maybe you’re never going to be married at this rate.

“You’re laughing right now but I’m still scared that you’ll just put up an IG story of you and Jungkook getting married on a random Sunday.” Nayeon suddenly says which elicits quite a violent reaction from you.

“Fucking gross, Nayeon!” You slap her on her arm and she gives you an ingenuine, “Owe!”

Taehyung laughs and adds in another nonsensical input, “That’s where my grandma and grandpa started, by the way. The line between love and hate is thin, after all.”

Your face contorts into a deeper frown every passing second as they continue to tease you.

“Fuck you, Taehyung. I’ll kill you in your sleep and me and Doyeon will hide the body.” You threaten him with your eyes and when he only laughs more, you make quick work of your hands and snatch out his egg omelet, putting it in your mouth fast enough he doesn’t get the chance to take it back.

“Aw, man! Hyerin cooked that for me!” He whines, going back to his seat, defeated after trying to get back the food from you.

But Nayeon is more concerned about another thing.

“Why is it only you and Doyeon? I can help hide Taehyung’s body, too!” She says, face painted with an expression so solemn as if you betrayed her.

“You made the joke first, you don’t get the privilege.” You cross your arms under your chest.

“I’ll commit perjury for you in court. Doyeon can’t do that ‘cos she still hasn’t told us about her secret boyfriend.” She insists.

Taehyung deadpans. “You guys really do love me a lot here, no?”

“We never pretended to love you, Taehyung,” Doyeon taps his arm, giving him a contrasting look of faux sympathy. “And for the nth time, I do not have a secret boyfriend,” She says dryly, sounding exhausted for having to say it again. And then, she turns to you, “Where is that punk, Jungkook, anyway?”

You scowl at her. “Seriously guys, why do you always look for him from me?”

“It’s just that you always know where he is, babe.” Nayeon says as a matter of fact. “No offense.” She says, looking straight into your eyes. When she sees your eyebrow raising higher, she adds quickly, “And malice!” And then she continues some more, “Even though I personally think you’d be cute together and all but we understand perfectly you both just have this sort of weird relationship where you’re platonic roommates and you’re like best friends but you argue all the time for no reason—”

“Oh my god, shut up, Nayeon.” Doyeon cuts her off before she goes on a spiral again.

“See why it’s only me and Doyeon who gets to hide Taehyung’s body when I kill him? You’re gonna tell the police word for word how exactly I did it.” You tell her, and she pouts at you.

“And we’re back to killing me again.” Taehyung comments, sighing, and you stick your tongue out at him in that juvenile manner, only that Taehyung does the same because he’s an even bigger child than you.

“Kids, stop fighting.” Doyeon warns. “Seriously, where is Jungkook?”

“He told me he has a laparoscopic cholecystectomy.” You say.

“Damn.” Comments Taehyung.

Everybody including you nod in understanding.

It’s always been an inside joke in your friend group that Jungkook and you are gonna end up marrying each other because you’ve known each other for a long time, the closest to each other, live together – and you both are also the ones that can’t keep a relationship.

After your breakup with Eunwoo in the middle of your internship which was four years ago, you took a break from dating for a very long time. It’s only two years ago that you picked up going on casual dates, having quick flings, all that sort of stuff. It’s an occasional thing and they never end up as something more.

It’s why you’re still single up until now, and it���s not even that you want to be so – you prefer to be in a happy, loving relationship, thank you very much – but you yearn for a deeper connection with someone, and every date just doesn’t seem to click. And even though you find a little ugly bitterness when somebody brings up marriage, you would never, ever want to settle down with somebody just ‘cause you feel like you have to.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is a special case. He’s single because he wants to be. He’s single because according to him, the bachelor life has “chosen” him and he can’t do anything about it.

It’s why he goes to this myriads of dates… with those… women. Sleeps around. Never attempted a serious relationship as far as you’ve known him except that one time in your last year of med school when he exclusively dated Min Sora for about a year.

You don’t judge him for the kind of life he lives. He’s just an admittedly good-looking, liberated guy who hooks up with good-looking women who are looking for the same fun as him. When you asked him if they ever do fall, he told you that they always agree prior sex that it’s just going be a one-time thing (two or three or four times if they particularly like each other… or whatever the hell he said).

Despite that, Jungkook is – and always has been your best friend. You met each other in med school and were in the same study group together with Doyeon and Taehyung.

As much as heartbreak is a constant in your life, Jungkook is a frontrunner in it as well because from being in almost all the same classes during med school for four years, you both decided to live in the same apartment unit together.

It has two different bedrooms, of course. The apartment’s a big unit he and Taehyung owned three years ago until Taehyung moved in with his girlfriend. Jungkook couldn’t pay for it all by himself, and the only logical roommate choice was you because when he proposed it to Doyeon, she just looked at him disgusted beyond belief.

You’ve been with each other for so long it’s quite impossible to not know the other like the back of their hand. You’ve seen him during his worst in med school days up until the years of your residency as does him you. You both shared the highs and lows of life with the other’s presence, and as much as you both quite differ in the way you approach certain things in life – he’s ultimately your person, the one-call-away friend (or the one-knock-to-the-door-friend), and the guy you can always lean on when things are just particularly hard to bear.

Jungkook may not be the most ideal when it comes to romance, but he’s the guy you’d certainly wish was your friend.

Why you don’t understand when the rest of your friends tease you both is because you’re so… platonic with each other. Sure, you’re closest – you knew each other first – but you and Jungkook never acted borderline sweet for other people to be making assumptions. You aren’t the kind of friends who call each other siblings but then get weirdly clingy towards each other behind everyone’s backs.

You may have had a tiny bit of crush on him when you first saw him during first year of med school – it’s a common fact that he’s handsome and whatever, okay – but he had never shown interest; from post grad all throughout the years of your shared residency. You never, either.

But maybe it’s the teasing, since you always fight like goddamn children whenever you’re near each other. There’s nothing romantic about it, though, you don’t think so. In your defense, that’s how your dynamic works! That’s how your friendship with everybody works! If you didn’t banter with a person, you probably hate them.

Shaking the thoughts of Jungkook in your head, you continue to eat your lunch, asking questions about Nayeon’s further plans, squeezing your break with the rest of your friends, knowing your pager is going to beep anytime soon.

What Doyeon said, though, everybody does seem to be getting married these days. If you could sigh, you would, but you have to do with a little bit of internal mulling for now lest one of the gang notices and you get interrogated for it. You don’t want to get aired out for feeling suddenly weird at the tough realization that again, everybody seems to be getting married and proposed to except… you.

You’re happy for them – you really are! You’d be such a shit friend if you weren’t. But there’s a pang in your chest and you know exactly where it’s coming from.

There was an added case to the OR schedule when you checked it earlier this morning, and you were assigned to it as per instruction from the chief of your team – a melanoma excision.

After your lunch, you went to scrub in for the surgery and it was what made you busy including the paper works needed to be done, so busy that you thought you’d forgotten the pain from a while ago.

Turns out, it sat at some bench at the far end of your heart, hiding and shrinking itself for a little while, only showing up when it’s time for you to clock out; in the quiet of the locker room, alone while you change out of your scrubs.

You let out a heavy sigh and lean your forehead to your locker door, closing your eyes and getting your breathing even.

You’re just tired from work. You tell yourself. You had two surgeries today; it would be true. But you know it’s not entirely that. It’s the reminder of your loneliness when you see an envelope peeking out from your locker.

You take out the invitation card for Nayeon’s engagement party she’s given you this afternoon. It’s a thick off-white material that has her and her fiancé’s name printed on gold beveled font. So intricate to the touch; you deduce once you run your fingers over it.

“Yo, what are you up to?”

You quickly stand up straight and hide the envelope behind your back, your other hand going right above your chest when you turn around only to see Jeon Jungkook approaching the inside of the room.

“Jesus christ, learn to knock.” You say, genuinely surprised and taken aback. Jungkook cocks a brow at you.

“Feisty.” He muses, and the way his eyes fall to your chest makes you realize you’re still in your bra having not put yourself into a clean and fresh top yet since you decided to have a sentimental moment in your locker door like some high school girl.

“Asshole.” You mutter under your breath, making quick work of putting on a shirt.

Only when you’re done wearing it do you see Jungkook stripping out of his own scrubs until he’s left with only his boxers across from you.

“Some decorum, please?” You tell him, turning around to sit on a bench to change out of your sneakers and wearing a more comfortable pair of sandals.

You hear Jungkook laugh behind you.

“What can I say? I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, you see.” You take a quick look at him so he can see how far your eyes roll to the back of your head. Jungkook ignores that, wearing his shirt while he says, “You’re out the same time tonight?”

You take out your ponytail and comb your hair through your fingers to fix it.

“Yeah. You?”

Jungkook smirks and suddenly there’s something flying at your direction. You’re quick on your reflex and manage to catch it on time, only to realize it’s his keys.

“You’re driving.”

It earns an instant groan from you.

Jungkook puts on another pair of shoes while laughing. “What? I drove us here this morning.”

You’re about to give him an attitude but then you realize making him pity you may be more effective. Stepping closer to him, you sit on the bench where he placed his foot to tie his shoes on. You look up at him and try your puppy face on.

“But I had two surgeries today, Kook.”

Jungkook stares at you, his expression unreadable. A few seconds pass by, with you blink up at him, and you think he’s gonna cave.

Instead of getting swayed by your poor attempt to get his sympathy, he takes down his leg and says with a sarcastic smile on his face, “I did a major one. Yours were both minor.”

Your shoulders deflate, making sure to jab at his thigh that was at eye level and snark, “And two is more than one. Fuck off, Jeon.”

Jungkook follows behind you while his boisterous ass is laughing.

“Don’t get pissed at me, are you kidding? It’s your turn to drive. Favor for a favor.”

You turn back to him, and because you were walking in a faster pace, he crashes to your back. He grips your shoulder, pursing his lips into a thin line, obviously holding in another fit of laughter.

“You’re gonna drive us tomorrow here, do you understand?” You say, giving him an ominous glare.

Jungkook raises his hands up. “Okay, okay.” He nods his head, and to piss you off more, he adds, “Bossy.”

That earns him a pinch to the side which he quickly dodges. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and continue to head towards the exit.

You both enter his car soon after.

“I miss my car…” you longingly say, turning on the ignition to start driving.

“It’s still in the shop?” Jungkook asks while rummaging around his compartment glove to look for a snack. He always has a few in it. It’s convenient.

“Yeah, the mechanic told me it’s gonna take a few more weeks. So,” you look at him bitterly.

“That’s tough.” Jungkook comments, opening a granola bar and biting on it. He extends his hand to you. “You want some?”

You stretch your neck to the side, eyes still on the road while taking a bite off his food.

“Tough because you can’t bring your girls here anymore?” You joke a little. Jungkook gives you a dirty look. Your eyes widen a little, realizing what you just said. “Please say you don’t fuck in your car. I’ve touched your passenger seat and your backseat.”

“Give me more credit, yeah? I don’t fuck in my car, that shit is unhygienic as hell,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, and you heave a sigh of relief upon his confirmation. “I wine and dine my women before we do the deed, thank you very much.”

“You’re just so sweet, aren’t you?” You say with a straight face.

Jungkook sing-songs. “Just like how they like it.”

“You’re really beating them off with a stick these past few years, huh?”

“A gorgeous stick, might I add.”

That earns a disgusted groan from you, which he laughs at, and you drop the subject before it even goes to another place.

There’s a comfortable silence that sits on the air for a while until Jungkook speaks.

“Hey, what was that earlier?”

“Hm?”

“In the locker room.” He says.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. Clearing your throat, you answer, “Oh, it’s just, uh… Nayeon’s getting married. Do you know that?”

“Yeah.”

You turn to him in surprise. “Wait, how? You didn’t eat lunch with us.”

Jungkook snorts. “I saw the invitation cards in her locker yesterday, she thought she was being discreet. She threatened me to keep it a secret when I asked her about it, though. I guess she told you guys today at lunch?”

“Oh my god, you really need to stop snooping in everybody’s locker.”

“I do not snoop in in everybody’s locker.”

You give him a certain look. Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

Letting out a heavy breath, you look straight ahead as you say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything…”

“Just getting a little sentimental in the locker room?”

“A bit.” You purse your lips. “But it’s not a big deal.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to that. From your peripheral vision, you can see him staring at you but you choose to ignore that, focusing on driving instead.

“If you say so.” He says after a while.

You’re thankful for the dismissal. Jungkook’s usually insistent that you tell him everything – he’s just nosy like that – but deep down you know it’s because he cares. And if you’re in any trouble, he’s always willing to be there for you may it be listening to you vent or eat unholy amount of Chinese take out in the middle of the night.

As you went on the road, he played a few of his playlists and they served as background noise as you both talked about your day, like how your surgeries went. It’s a usual drive when you’re both in the same car together – which you’ve done quite a few times now because after all, you work in the same building and gas is expensive. It’s the most logical way to save up in this economy.

These past few weeks, though, it just so happened that your car got a little bitchy and started to act up so you made a bargain with Jungkook.

Anyway, you both arrive at your apartment shortly, with Jungkook and you taking turns in the shower.

“You wanna order in something?” Says Jungkook who’s currently drying his hair, a towel wrapped around his lower half.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’s some kind of exhibitionist. Jungkook has the habit of walking around the apartment shirtless and sometimes with just even his boxers on, and it’s not like you aren’t used to seeing it! You admittedly see a lot of it when you guys would change in the locker rooms back at the hospital, but that is work, and you have more things to worry about at work other than your co-worker changing in front of you.

Still, it’s hard to get used to his exhibitionist tendencies. You had a hard time with it especially in the first few months of living together, but you had to adapt, and right now, even though you can say you’re partly immune to it, his naked upper half still bothers you. A little.

Listen, you’re a human being with primal instincts and men who have good bodies do, in fact, distract you a tiny bit.

“Nope.” You take a sip of the glass of water, closing the refrigerator with your foot, looking at Jungkook who groans at your answer. “What?”

“I was hoping we could split the delivery fee.” He deadpans.

“Wow. And they say chivalry is dead.”

Jungkook laughs while you head towards your room. He follows you until you reach your door so you turn to him, putting your hand on your hip as you ask, “What?”

“Don’t think too much about it.”

Your furrow your brows. “How do you mean?”

“The wedding,” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “And weddings, in general. I know you’re thinking about a few things up in that smart brain of yours. Don’t.”

You’re completely taken aback by his words, but at the same time, you’re not at all that surprised. Jungkook can read you almost like an open book.

Still, you decide to lie.

“I’m not thinking about weddings, weirdo.”

“Liar,” Jungkook’s brow arches, and you know he’s figured out your shit. “Your nostrils flared up. You’re lying.”

You groan, giving him a light jab at his bicep. Jungkook chuckles.

“My nostrils do not flare up.”

“It does so,” Jungkook points out. “Like this.” He stands there on your door and start to purposefully enlarge his nostrils to imitate you.

You roll your eyes. “My face is not like that when I lie. Go back to your room,” you say, pushing him slightly out of your doorway, ready to close it in front of his face, but you add more, “And don’t bother me.”

Jungkook stands up straight and gives you a salute. “Yes, ma’am.” he says in a register octave lower, walking away with laughter as you tell him he’s annoying. You roll your eyes once again before finally closing your bedroom door.

A lot of people may judge your love for romance as naivety, but you really couldn’t care less. Even if you get heart broken countless times, love will never fail to make your heart soft and make you feel like you’re floating.

It’s exactly what you think as you look at Nayeon and her fiance, Minhyuk, on the stage huddled so close together, laughing and giggling to each other. They look so incredibly happy. So connected. So sweet. It brings a feeling of warmth to your heart – to see one of the most important people in your life finally meeting the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It makes you melt on the inside to see two people so deeply in love that it emanates in the whole venue of the garden their engagement party is being held at today.

The weather is sunny – not too hot, like the universe knows not to fuck it up for Nayeon and her fiance. There’s also a lot of people; their families, some of Nayeon’s friends and probably Minhyuk’s – people you’ve never seen before. You assume it’s Minhyuk’s friends or acquaintances. The guest list for their wedding must be big, but it isn’t surprising, given that Minhyuk comes from the big corporate world.

“You want more champagne?” Jungkook whispers beside you, ready to stand up from his seat.

You stare at him, and you notice his eyes are not even on yours. He has it glued towards a woman across from you. A pretty woman wearing a satin dress that shows off her slender figure. You notice Jungkook’s been looking at her since the beginning of the party.

Shaking your head, you scoff. “You’re just gonna pick up some woman.”

Jungkook sputters and quickly take his gaze off the woman. “No, I’m not. I just think she’s familiar.”

You raise your brow. “Let me guess… one of your hook-ups?”

Jungkook huffs. And then off he goes.

Everybody has their plus-ones except you two, and now that Jungkook is probably off his mission to find a hook-up for the night, you’re left alone as usual.

You don’t feel bad about it. The champagne is good and there’s hors d'oeuvre on the table.

“Miss?”

You look up, finding the owner of the voice.

And holy hell.

“Hi.” You greet reluctantly, not sure if he meant you. You’re also trying to contain a blush from spreading across your cheeks because goddamn, was the man beautiful.

He smiles. Wow. Whoever this is… he looks pretty damn good.

“Is this seat taken?” The stranger says, pointing to the now empty seat beside you. You look around but can’t really spot Jungkook.

So, you shake your head, gesturing to the chair beside you. “No, not really. You want to sit here?”

He nods. “Alone?”

“No, not really… but I’m Nayeon’s friend. I’m her co-resident at the hospital.” You smile, taking a sip of your champagne that’s already about to run out. “Are you one of Minhyuk’s friends?”

“You guessed right. Law school friends. Worked at the same firm when he was a practicing lawyer until he quit some time ago,” You nod at that, and he gives you a boyish smile again. He offers his hand for a handshake. “I’m Mingyu, by the way. Kim Mingyu.”

You take his hand.

“I’m ___.” You both laugh when you shake your hands together.

His hands feel rough but at the same time warm. It’s nice.

“You’re a doctor?” Mingyu asks, keeping up the conversation.

“Yeah. A resident surgeon.” You glance at him. “I’m assuming you’re a lawyer?”

Mingyu nods. “Yeah. Corporate.”

“I see.” You nod, looking in front of you again, trying to stray from any eye contact. He’s way too attractive for your own liking.

“Say… I hate to make this about work but I just need to ask real quick,” Mingyu says, and when you look at him, you furrow your brows at the worry in his eyes, suddenly growing nervous at the depth of seriousness it’s showing. “So, I got here, and I suddenly have this sort of… feeling of heart palpitation. Increased heart rate. It’s like it’s missing a beat and it’s been making me real nervous.”

“Oh,” you look at him in concern. “That’s— did you drink uh… coffee?” He shakes his head. You place your champagne glass on the table and turn your body to him so you can face him properly. You don’t know if it’s just the doctor in you, but you forget about pretty much everything when you see or hear someone feeling under normal. “Are you a smoker, then?” You continue your line of questioning.

“I quit years ago.”

“I see… okay, uhm…” You look around, trying to look for something. “There’s a lot of roots for heart palpitations. Does your heart feel like pounding right now? Flip-flopping or something like that?”

Mingyu nods.

“Okay… well I can’t say for sure – I wish I have stethoscope with me right now. But I’m gonna lay out all the possible reasons why you might be feeling so. Smoking’s out of the question. You didn’t drink coffee, but do you drink more than one cup in a day?”

“Not in the past few weeks, no.”

“So, you’re not overcaffeinated, then. I really don’t want to lay this out on you, but you might want to check in with your doctor if this is not your first time feeling this. Heart palpitations is normal most of the time but I’ve seen lots of people get in these situations and it ends up being arrhythmia, which is a really serious condition.” You look at him straight in the eyes.

Mingyu looks stricken back. “Well… are there any more reasons out there that’s not… as dangerous?”

You still in your position.

Oh, right. There is more.

“Are you feeling certain emotions right now? Like, really, strong emotion?” You say, internally face-palming yourself because how can you not remember one of the very basic roots of palpitation!

“Yes, I am.”

“Well… certain emotions do trigger your heartbeat to accelerate. It might be anxiety… fear, panic, stress…” You look at Mingyu, noticing that his once serious face is now forming a smile. That makes you back-track, but you hesitantly continue. “... infatuation.”

And then he says, “I think you’re right off the bat with that one.”

Your lips part slightly. A few seconds passed and then suddenly, what he’s doing registers in your head, and you can’t help but to let out a laugh.

“Oh my god,” You say in disbelief. “You weren’t– you weren’t actually asking for medical advice?”

“Bad way to flirt with a pretty woman, huh?” Mingyu smiles and it’s so dashing that you shy away from his gaze, but you’re still laughing at the turn of events.

“God, no. I can’t believe I didn’t get it earlier.” You say, gingerly placing a palm on your forehead at the embarrassment.

But Mingyu just laughs along with you.

“It was just bad flirting. I’m sorry,” He says, sipping from his glass and takes a glance at you. “I can do better.”

You arch your brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. If you let me. Say, Friday, ten o’clock?”

You chuckle. “That was really smooth.”

Mingyu was about to say something when suddenly, you hear a familiar voice approaching your direction.

“Mingyu?” When you look up, you see Jungkook. You eye him in confusion, wondering how the hell he knew Mingyu’s name.

But then Mingyu speaks and you grow even more confused.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

“Oh hey, it’s you,” Jungkook says, and he looks genuinely surprised. Mingyu stands up from his seat to give Jungkook a hug, slapping him on the back – kind of like how guys usually greet each other. You watch as Jungkook reluctantly reciprocates it.

“You work with Nayeon?” Mingyu asks, and even with a smile on his face, you can see he’s also in disbelief to be seeing Jungkook.

Jungkook nods at him, still looking a bit stricken. You can’t figure out if it’s just his surprised face or something else. You’ve never seen him look so… stunned like this before. Nevertheless, he says, “Yeah. How ‘bout you?”

“Been with Lee and Song for the past three years, Minhyuk’s previous firm before he quit and went out to the business world.” Mingyu chuckles, tapping Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook smiles. “That’s crazy, man. I can’t believe we’ll meet here again.”

Mingyu, seemingly sharing the same sentiment, says, “Man, it’s been, like, what– almost ten years?”

“Yeah, yeah, too long, man.” Jungkook nods, chuckling slightly.

You hate to interrupt, but you’re confused, and you need to confirm something.

“Wait,” You butt in, making them both look at you. “You know each other?”

Jungkook sits across from you while Mingyu follows.

“We did pre-med together during undergrad.” Mingyu says.

“You did pre-med in undergrad?” You look at Mingyu incredulously, and he nods with a bashful smile on his face. You squint your eyes at him, feeling slightly betrayed that he asked you all that stuff earlier when the whole while he has a pre-med degree.

Jungkook cuts in.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” He said, leaning back and pointing between you two. It seems like he’s finally out of the trance he was in earlier.

“I just met him today.” You tell Jungkook, blinking your eyes at him.

“Well, how about you two? How do you know each other?” Mingyu asks and the whole thing suddenly feels like watching a game of tennis somehow.

You’re about to answer when Jungkook beats you to it.

“We’re co-workers. Together with Nayeon.”

Mingyu nods his head and then turns to you, “So not his girlfriend, then?”

“What? No!” you didn’t mean for it to come out that violently, so you repeat it in a gentler manner this time. “I mean no. What?”

Mingyu turns to Jungkook who’s now looking confused.

“I was just asking her out for a date.”

You suddenly feel blood rushing to your cheeks at his straightforwardness. In front of Jungkook, out of all people! You aren’t embarrassed! You just feel weird and shy.

But Jungkook looks at you as if silently asking you if Mingyu’s being serious. You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth.

Then he nods his head slowly. “Really?” Jungkook chuckles, looking at you. “What’d you say?”

Mingyu looks at you with a hopeful smile. “What do you say?”

You feel weird about doing the whole thing in front of someone, but you look at Mingyu again – how attractive he is, his charming smile, his physique, and his charisma… and you don’t think it’d be too bad to chance at least one date with him.

So, you nod, avoiding Jungkook’s sudden way too intense gaze.

“I would like to,” But he cocks his head to the side. You chuckle, adding, “Yes, Mingyu. I’d like to go out with you.”

“Woah!”

“Jungkook, please knock!”

You look at Jungkook irritably while you lock your stud earring, standing up from your chair in front of the vanity table to pick up your purse from the edge of your bed.

“I was just going to borrow your hair dryer.” Jungkook says, trudging inside your room freely which makes you roll your eyes at him.

You watch as he expertly makes his way to your vanity table and slides one of the drawers, taking out the hair dryer.

“You need to buy your own one.” You say with a straight face.

But Jungkook just stands there for a while, and when his stare goes on longer than necessary, you start feeling conscious.

“What.”

“What are you so… dolled up for?”

You jab him on the chest when you get near him, enough to make him wince. “What an asshole way to say I look good.”

Jungkook laughs. Your heart drops.

Most of the time, you understand that your dynamic consists of teasing and bantering with each other until one of you gets pissed off. That’s usually you. But they never go too far – you’ve built a foundation of respect in your relationship which you love. However, sometimes, there are moments when you’re under a certain kind of pressure – like right now in which you only have twenty minutes before Mingyu arrives to pick you up outside of your building complex and you still haven’t done your hair – and Jungkook laughing while looking at you is not helping.

The faux confidence falls as fast as that.

“Okay, Jungkook, can you just tell me nicely if this dress looks ridiculous or if I put too much make-up on?” You say, failing not to sound defensive.

Jungkook’s quick to halt his laughter, and he looks taken aback at your clipped tone.

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You were laughing at me.” You point out, turning around to rummage through your make-up products scattered on the top surface of the furniture, thinking that maybe you overblushed. So, you look at yourself in the mirror.

Jungkook situates himself on your vanity table so you’ll look at him.

“Wha— you thought I was laughing at you?” You don’t answer, checking if your cheeks are way too pink, purposefully ignoring him. “Okay, that’s– I wasn’t. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I laughed at your words, not the way you look.”

You let out a sharp breath, look at him angrily, ready to present more argument, but you see the look of sincerity on his face and you realize then that you’re being borderline sensitive.

You sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jungkook places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You pout at him. “It’s just… first date jitters. I feel slightly anxious, I don’t know,” You sigh again, “I bought this dress two days ago.” You say, looking down at it. It has a tube top with thin straps, fitting your upper half like a glove but flows prettily to the bottom, stopping just about four inches above your knee.

“It looks good on you.” Jungkook comments, and you quint your eyes at him.

“You swear?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Why would I lie?”

“To make me feel better, I don’t know,” Then you can’t help but chuckle. “Anyway, does my make-up look okay? I didn’t put too much blush?”

“You have lipstick on your teeth,” Jungkook says, baring his own to emphasize what he meant.

“Shit.” You panic, quickly ducking down to check it in the mirror.

You soon realize Jungkook was fucking with you when you hear him laughing beside you.

“I hate you.” You hiss, pushing his thighs so he can get off your vanity table. He remains on his seat, fighting your force while laughing. “Ugh, don’t you have a date of your own or something?” You groan as you take the hair straightener on the side, sitting back down again on the chair to straighten a certain part of your hair again so it’s looks nothing but perfect.

“Ohh, so you are going on a date.” Jungkook says as if he wasn’t there in front of you when Mingyu asked you out.

You give him a weird look. “With Mingyu, remember?”

“Oh, right.” He’s quiet for awhile, and then, “You’re really dating him?”

You put down the hair straightener.

“Yeah… why?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nothing.”

But you want to insist. “He’s your friend. You told me he’s a nice guy.”

He nods his head. “That’s true.”

You eye him suspiciously. “You’re making me nervous.”

Jungkook chuckles and pats your head. You scowl at him and slap his wrist.

“You’re like a cat,” Jungkook comments. “Anyway, I told you, it’s nothing. It’s just…” He trails off. You look at him, waiting for his continuation.

You don’t expect the genuine smile he sends your way.

“I wish it works out for you this time.”

Lips parted, you think about what to say to that, but nothing comes out of your mouth.

Jungkook gets off the table and brings with him your blow dryer. Before he heads out completely, he tells you, “And don’t worry about how you look. Mingyu likes pretty women. You’re exactly his type.”

“Really, mini-golf?” You ask Mingyu, but he already has his fingers intertwined with you as you both enter the course.

You’ve just had dinner at some fancy restaurant that served, admittedly, good steak. He told you it was some sort of special place for him; where he takes himself to whenever he closes a deal or wins a case. You tried not to think too much about what it meant that he brought you there – given that you’re only on your first date.

But hey, maybe he thought you deserve to eat good steak? That’s probably what it was.

You don’t ask.

You thought the night was over when you finished your meal and good two glasses of Malbec, but Mingyu commented in his car that he’d love to burn off the food for a moment – and you didn’t really want to leave just yet.

So, you end up at Pier 26, and Mingyu’s enthusiastic.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He says, and you have no choice but to follow behind him.

“I really don’t know how.” You tell him, smile bashful as you watch him carry the golf club, walking towards the direction of the ball. 

“What’s up with that? I’ll teach you,” Mingyu says, putting down the club and unbuttoning his cuff to push his sleeves up to his forearms.

You try not to focus too much on the veins that show up at the action and how his biceps are almost fighting to pop out of his sleeves. His hands look so big compared to yours when he offers it to get you to stand beside him.

“Really? You’re gonna teach me like a big… macho man?” You tease, taking his hand nonetheless.

Mingyu smiles once you’re beside him, placing himself behind you, guiding your hands so you can hold the club together.

You can feel his breath on your neck as he instructs you what to do. “You just have to stand like this,” He lets go of your hands in favour of your hips, and your breath hitches when he whispers, “Look ahead, and you just… let go.”

The golf ball jumps out of the line and you giggle at the way it completely misses the hole.

“That was… wow.” Mingyu says, staring at the ball.

“Shut up! Okay, okay, I’ll try it alone.” You say, dismissing his incredulous look, a bit embarrassed at your performance.

From your periphery, you see Mingyu closely watching you as you grip the golf club a little less tight this time so it’s not too tense when you hit the ball. Squinting your eyes, you eye the goal and let out a controlled breath. You relax your posture just like he taught you and when you finally hit the ball, it lands right in the hole perfectly.

You turn to look at Mingyu immediately with widened eyes, and when he gives you a huge grin, you do a little jump out of excitement.

“Oh my god, I did that!”

Mingyu chuckles at your enthusiasm. And due to the high of hitting the goal once, you agree to another round until it turns into a session.

You only stopped when you got tired. Nonetheless, you realize it’s actually something you’re good at, and that geeks you inside. Meanwhile, Mingyu suggested you walk around the park for a little while.

Mingyu told you he was just going to buy some food at a stall, but as you sit on the bench to wait for him, you think about how you’d like to go with Jungkook here some time to challenge him to mini-golf. You almost always never beat him to any games… surely, he must not know mini-golf, right? You can finally have the upper hand, if ever.

“Ice cream?” Mingyu returns from the stall and extends the cone to you. You try not to show your wince. You’re lactose intolerant.

“Thanks.” You say, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. It’s not that bad, and you want this date to be perfect. Mingyu joins you on the bench.

The night’s cold and you regret not bringing your blazer with you and leaving it in his car instead.

“You know,” you start to strike up a conversation. “I’m still pretty shocked you studied pre-med.”

Mingyu chuckles. “Why?”

“I don’t know… but in hindsight, I should’ve known the moment you asked me about “heart palpitations”.” You say, quoting the last two words, trying to tease him.

“I really thought that was a good idea, huh?”

You snort. “It was–” you gesture with your hand, pursing your lips. “Pretty lame, yeah. But admittedly… it was cute. So, there.”

Mingyu laughs. “Thanks. I also thought that was a brilliant way to flirt with a doctor.”

You shake your head, laughing at him.

Silence sits in the air for a while until he speaks.

“You know what they say? Study law when you don’t know what to do after getting a degree, so law it was.” Mingyu shrugs.

“You didn’t see yourself as a doctor then?” You ask curiously.

“Not really. Didn’t really think too much about it when I chose a pre-med program as my major. Soon realized it wasn’t for me. I was lost in law school too for a good couple of years, though. But I love it now,” Mingyu looks at you who’s intently listening. “You? You always wanted to be a doctor?”

You look ahead, nodding. “For as long as I can remember.”

“Just like Jungkook, huh?” Mingyu chuckles. “He really wanted it a lot. I remember him excelling during those moving tests. He had a lot of people getting jealous over him for balancing his school and basketball lives so well, you know?”

You furrow your brows. “He did basketball?”

“Yeah. We were in the varsity team together.”

“Hah.” You smile. Jungkook. A jock. “That makes sense.”

“That I’m a jock?” Mingyu asks with a teasing smile on his face.

You didn’t mean him, but regardless, you nod, finding that it also applies to him. “You look like someone who plays basketball.”

“And what’s the diagnosis of that, doctor?” Mingyu leans closer.

You nibble on your bottom lip.

“Let’s say you have a… chronic jock face.” You say, not backing down from Mingyu’s sudden challenge of eye contact.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Is that a good thing?”

You chuckle. “It just means that you are conventionally attractive.”

“Ah,” he nods, but you notice his hand making its way around your waist. You don’t make a move to protest it. “Then, can a conventionally attractive guy like me chance a kiss with a pretty girl like you?”

Your breath hitch when he leans his face closer. One more inch and his lips will lock against yours.

“Yeah.”

Mingyu doesn’t waste a second longer and leans in to plant his lips on yours. It’s nothing short of a peck when he breaks away from the contact, but when you look up at him with parted lips, he goes back to kissing you again, cupping your cheek and angling your face towards him better, this time taking you closer by your waist.

It starts off as something experimental, like he’s testing the waters first. But when you take out your tongue to prod the side of his mouth, he does the same and inserts his tongue in yours.

You did not really think that you’d end up making out of some bench at a park, but here you are.

“Oh,” you unintentionally let out a low moan, and you hear a guttural sound coming out from his throat. Your hands come up to fist his collar as some sort of support, and Mingyu responds with a slight pinch to your hip.

You break away from the kiss to regain your breathing, and Mingyu takes that as an opportunity to plant kisses across your cheek down to your jaw. Sighing at the sensation, you close your eyes as you let yourself get drowned in the feeling of his soft lips against your skin.

But when you open your eyes, you see people walking by at a short distance and that’s when you wake up from your trance.

“Mingyu,” You call him, but he’s too busy kissing your neck. “Hey, I think we shouldn’t do this here.”

Mingyu stops. Then, he looks at you, eyes hooded, hair a mess, his lips swollen, some of your lipstick getting on it.

Your blood flows to your cheek at the sight. He looks unbelievably hot. God, what more if he was under you and you were doing more than just kissing and– no, no. Not going there. Absolutely no thoughts of … there.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Mingyu says after seemingly snapping himself out of the trance as well. “Shit. I really am.”

He looks so apologetic, so you put your hand over his arm.

“It’s fine. Just uh… let’s take it slow?” You tell him.

Mingyu gives you a small smile.

“Slow. Yeah. Let’s do it slow.”

What's the definition of slow, anyway?

The tension at the park was too much and you made out some more in his car with heavy petting that may have included Mingyu copping a feel of your boob and you coyishly feeling out the bulge in his pants.

Safe to say, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

You started coming over to his place, but you still haven’t had sex. Not yet at least. You haven’t even taken off your clothes in front of each other yet. Suddenly, you remember being eighteen and just making out with your boyfriend – the territory of any form of sex prohibited for some reason. Somehow, you two have never gotten around that for the past few weeks you’ve hung out. It may be because you always stop it before it happens, but it’s not because you don’t want to; just that it feels like you’re going to a place you won’t know how to go back to.

So, it’s mostly date nights, a sneaky coffee hung during the afternoon when you’re not particularly busy and your schedule aligns, and making out in his car until your pager beeps or when his phone rings.

And as good as Mingyu may be with his lips when he locks them with yours, he’s more than what you thought he was.

You have to admit that you had doubts when you first met him. You don’t trust a lot of good-looking men, because they always end up being assholes. He also has the face of a guy who – in a cliche fashion – likes to break women’s hearts on a regular basis. You went to the first date a little hopeful of something real, but you knew your luck with romance isn’t the best – may be the worst you’ve ever known – but recently, you’re starting to think that maybe the poison’s wearing out and Mingyu may just be… decent.

Decent enough to be a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

And it feels so weird to think so. You’ve been single for so long, and sure, you went to a lot of dates during the past two years but Mingyu’s going on two months, and everything just seems so… right. Like this can be it.

You hate having wishful thinking. You hate getting your hopes high. But god, he makes it so hard.

“You going with us later?” Nayeon asks, stretching her neck while looking at you.

You’re all currently at some abandoned ward at the hospital where you take quick breaks from your shift to eat or talk for a while.

“Where to?” You ask, taking a bite off Taehyung’s egg sandwich which he gave you earlier.

“We’re going out for barbecue tonight. Jungkook didn’t tell you?” Doyeon says, coming back from her quick trip to the vending machine.

You look at them confused. “No, he didn’t tell me about… barbecue or going out.”

As if on cue, Jungkook arrives in the scene.

“She’s not coming with us,” Jungkook says, and you look at him with visible offense on your expression. “She’s going out with her boyfriend tonight.”

The room quickly becomes rowdy at the declaration, and you flip Taehyung off when you hear him let out a lighthearted “boo”.

“Oh my god,” Nayeon squeals. “Mingyu’s your boyfriend now?” She asks, going over to the bed you’re sitting on, huddling closer to you ready to hear some gossip.

Doyeon looks surprised as well.

You look at Jungkook to give him a death glare. The fucker just puts his hands up in the air.

“No, god– why would you believe him?” You huff out, rolling your eyes. “Mingyu’s not my boyfriend.” Nayeon’s shoulders deflate. “Yet.” You add, and suddenly, she smiles. You take a glance at Doyeon who looks at Jungkook subtly. Or not so subtly, since you saw her. She didn’t seem to notice.

But Jungkook just wears a smug expression as he approaches you closer.

“See?” He shrugs, plopping himself on the same bed beside you. He looks at everybody. “She barely goes home nowadays.”

“Shut up, Jungkook!” You say, continuously hitting him on the arm as he makes little effort to dodge them.

But as usual, your friends love to bully you and join in the teasing.

“So, you joining or what?” Taehyung says after a while.

You actually had plans with Mingyu tonight. Just the usual dinner at his place and some movie and some fooling around, but you remember Jungkook’s teasing and felt the competitive need for him to not be right.

Besides, you don’t want to be the kind of friend who suddenly ditches their friends just because they’re starting to date – and you know that beneath their good-natured chaff is a genuine feeling of sulk because you’ve been admittedly bailing out on all your hangs lately.

It isn’t even that much because you don’t get to hang outside the hospital often – but you usually do go out on Fridays or Saturdays for some barbecue and go to a KTV bar afterwards. It’s sort of like became a tradition at this point, and it dawns on you that you haven’t been present in them for the past few weeks, which makes you feel bad.

“I’m coming with.”

Jungkook immediately eyes you with an arched brow. “For real?”

You challenge him with a look. “Yes, why?”

“I just remember you mentioning you’re going to Mingyu’s tonight.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “I’m just gonna tell him I’m hanging out with you all. No big deal.” You say, believing what you said. Mingyu’s come accustomed to your group of friends and you’re both adults who live separate lives. As far as you know him, he wouldn’t be making a big deal out of you cancelling on a plan. You think he’ll understand. You hope he does.

“Oh my god, don’t!” Nayeon cuts in. “Don’t worry about us. Go date your hot lawyer boyfriend right now. Are you insane?”

You look at her incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

Doyeon looks at you, nodding her head. “Nayeon’s right. If it’s between a date with my boyfriend or having barbecue with Taehyung and Jungkook, I’d rather be with my boyfriend,” She looks at the two guys. “No offense.”

“As if I don’t want to be with my girlfriend either tonight?” Taehyung says in disbelief.

Doyeon rolls her eyes, but she lets out a low chuckle.

“Wait– why are we fighting right now? If __ wants to cancel her date with Mingyu to come with us for barbecue night, then let her be.” Jungkook says.

In the corner, Taehyung crosses his arms and sends a certain look Jungkook’s way.

“Don’t get too excited, Jungkook.”

Jungkook and you pretty much have the same exact reaction at that.

“What the hell does that mean?”

You feel a slight pinch to your arm.

“Aw!” You slap Jungkook’s bicep for what he did. “What the hell!”

“I said it first.”

“You’re a child.” You roll your eyes.

Taehyung raises his hand. “I think you’re both twelve-year-olds trapped in thirty-year-old surgeons’ bodies.”

“Twelve’s too generous, I think they’re mentally still in first grade.” Doyeon comments.

You don’t get to rebut as you see a glimpse of the resident chief coming your way. It seems that the rest noticed the same thing, and suddenly, you’re all scrambling from your comfortable positions on the ER beds and going your separate ways to the hallways.

You went to your go-to-barbecue restaurant as soon as your shift ended for the day.

The eating becomes a drinking session until everybody tapped out but you and Jungkook. More like, you, because Jungkook wasn’t drinking at all. Doyeon was the first one to call herself an Uber, and then Nayeon and Taehyung had to leave because they have an early shift the next day.

“Don’t you have a shift tomorrow?” You ask Jungkook, downing another shot glass of soju. Your alcohol tolerance is not that high nor is it that low, but after two bottles – you admit you’re starting to feel a little dazed.

“Yeah. Afternoon.” Jungkook responds. When he sees you pouring yourself another glass again, he takes the shot and downs it himself.

“Rude!” You pout at him.

“You’re all red and shit, it’s time to tap out.” Jungkook chuckles when you show him an even deeper frown. “Come on, it’s nearing twelve.”

“I’m so tired.” You whine, not even bothering to take your glass back from him, just letting your shoulder deflate and bowing your head down, your eyes becoming droopier by the second.

After four years of residency, you feel like you have started to operate on autopilot somehow. Wake up at fuck-ass o’clock at dawn to prep for work and finish a varying number of hours of shift for the week. You admittedly barely get time to partake in leisure activities – and it’s not new per say. It’s just like in med school except you’re actually doing the real thing now and instead of grades, real lives are involved and at stake – which puts an even bigger weight on your shoulders.

It’s why you’re thankful to Mingyu; for his presence… for starting to invite you to his place rather than eat out. Don’t get it twisted– you love the bougie dinners and all that, but his penthouse is definitely way more comfortable.

But lately you’ve forgotten about what it is like to hang out with your friends outside of the five-minute breaks in the hospital – and times like these you love letting yourself loose and relax because, hey, you deserve it a little!

“Should I buy you soup to drink in the car?” You can hear Jungkook ask. You don’t answer. “Yeah, I should buy you soup.” He tells himself.

And then you see him going to the counter only to come back after a few minutes with a paperbag in his hand.

“You’re drunk.” He announces.

You snicker. “I’m not.”

“You sure are.” Jungkook shakes his head as he takes you by your waist to help you stand up.

“Just feeling a little dizzy, ‘s all.” You mumble when you fall against his neck upon straightening your legs.

“You’re not just a little dizzy, silly.” Jungkook whispers against your head.

You hum as a response and you can feel the vibration on his chest as he laughs at you. He doesn’t say another word as he guides your steps outside of the restaurant, and before you know it, you’re situated in the passenger seat of his car, with him wearing your seatbelt around you.

“Thanks.” You give him a lopsided smile, shifting around in the space to get more comfortable.

“Welcome, your highness.” You giggle at his response. “Drink up, it’s gonna help you sober up.” He says, handing you the paper bowl of soup he bought from the restaurant a few minutes ago.

You groan, taking it from him and slowly sip from the cup. Jungkook tells you to get his water flask from his backpack on the back seat when you finish your soup.

The soup and water relieve you from the acid reflux you feel in your stomach. Only slightly. Because when you close your eyes and lean back on the seat more comfortably, that’s when you feel something in your throat.

“Jungkook,” You call him.

“Hm?”

“I think I want to puke.”

Jungkook immediately turns to look at you. “For real?”

You bite your bottom lip, nodding your head repeatedly.

“Okay, shit– wait,” Jungkook looks around for something. Probably a plastic bag or whatever. But when he finishes scoping the area around the interior of his car, he seems to find nothing. When he glances at the rearview mirror, he takes a reverse and suddenly, he turns off the ignition of his car. “I’ll park here for a while. Let’s go outside.”

He gets out of the car first before opening your door. You think you’re fine to walk on your own, but you don’t oppose to Jungkook wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you to a…

Playground. The swings, in particular.

“Sit here for a bit.” He instructs, holding the chains steady for you as he waits until you’re sitting on it. He runs towards the car, and you feel way too weird in the throat to ask him why.

You recognize the place that’s not exactly far away from your complex. Maybe a ten-minute drive away.

Jungkook comes back with a crumpled plastic bag. It’s from a familiar provision shop. Probably was in his compartment glove the whole time.

“Here,” he hands you the plastic. “I’ll help you.”

You get it from him and shake your head.

“No, it’s fine.”

“I don’t mind.”

You look at him straight in the eye. “You’re not gonna help me puke, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you for a while and then sighs. He holds the chains of your swing again, standing beside you, putting his hand in his pockets.

“Okay. Puke your heart out.”

You snort. You open the plastic bag and get a feel of that weird invasive push in your throat – until you realize Jungkook is watching you.

Looking up at him, you whine, “Jungkook. Don’t watch.”

Jungkook furrows his brows. “I’m not watching.”

“It’s gross.” You say, a bit embarrassed. The whole thing’s embarrassing, to be honest. Jungkook taking care of you because you got stupid drunk. It’s not the first time, and there were definitely a lot more occurrences worse than this – you’re just grateful he hasn’t kicked you out of a curb. Yet.

“Watching somebody puke?” He scoffs as he says your name. “We literally amputated a leg today, and FYI, I’m just scared you’re gonna have some serious complication while puking.”

You frown because– okay. Fair. He has valid points.

“Okay. Well. I’m not gonna die puking. So, turn around or stand back there at the slides far from me.”

“Seriously?” Jungkook asks, disbelief painting his voice.

You just nod. Thankfully, he doesn’t say any more and obediently walks about five steps away from you, acquiescing to your request.

It takes you a few minutes to settle yourself before you let out the accumulation of what you’ve digested for the day. Your throat feels crass when you’re done, and your stomach feels empty. When you look ahead, your head still feels like it’s floating. But at least you feel a little better now.

“Drink this,” Jungkook approaches you again and gives you his tumbler once again. You drink from it quickly and quietly. “Feel okay now?”

You hum, nodding and smiling up at him.

“Thanks, Kook.”

He only mirrors your smile and goes to sit on the swing beside you. “You wanna go home now?”

You nibble on your bottom lip, contemplating his question. As you look around, you notice it’s so... solemn. It’s midnight, after all. There’s a sort of eerie calmness with the cricket sounds but the wind is nice and the dark skies project twinkling lights.

“It’s so nice here,” You say instead.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jungkook chuckles and you follow.

You look at him and sincerely, you ask, “Just for a few minutes, please?”

Jungkook’s quick to say, “Okay.”

His voice is just as gentle as the night breeze.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. You’re sobering up?”

“Eh. I’m getting there.”

“Good.”

You look at him again. “Thank you.”

Jungkook sends you a confused look, but there’s a smile on his face.

“I heard that.”

You chuckle. “And I’m saying it again. Thank you.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Alright. You’re welcome. Times two. And you’re not allowed to say it again.”

You both laugh at the exchange. The silence that follows after that is comfortable.

“You know, you still remember Changsub? My first boyfriend?” Jungkook nods at your words. “He asked me to be his girlfriend at a playground. Some old one in our hometown.” You pause for a while, recalling that memory. You laugh because it was just… so long ago. But the pictures are still so vivid in your head.

“Sweet. Too bad he’s an asshole, huh?” Jungkook comments, having known most of your relationship history.

“Yeah,” You shrug, laughing still. “But I, uhm, I remember a day after that– I had, like, this whole scenario in my head. I pictured a few years down the line, he’s on his knees and he’s showing me a ring asking me to be his wife on the very same playground. I thought it would be really sweet if he proposed to me at the same place.”

“Wow.” Jungkook muses, and you chuckle at the reaction.

“I know. It was crazy. I mean, why the hell was I thinking about getting married at that time? I was literally only sixteen and I think I had an AP assignment due the day after that. I was just so in my head.” You say, looking at Jungkook who has a smile of amusement on his face.

And then your laughter fades.

“I was so naive that time. But then I was also naive at twenty. And Jungkook…” You bite your bottom lip, feeling it quiver when you look into his eyes this time. “I’m afraid that I’m still naive at thirty.”

Jungkook calls your name softly, noticing the drop on your tone and the shift from playful to… melancholic.

You close your eyes and draw a deep breath.

“I like Mingyu. I really like him a lot,” And the declaration feels weird verbally announced. You’ve thought it for the past few weeks you’ve been with him – but you’ve both never said it to each other. Not yet. But saying it out loud now – it feels different. It feels real. And you’re so scared. “And we enjoy each other’s company a lot that I feel like he likes me just as much as I like him. You know, we kissed on the first date. I don’t usually kiss on the first date. But I like him so much that I did.”

You look at Jungkook sadly. You gauge the look on his face, but he just sits there with an unreadable expression on his face, though he listens. He always does. You’re not particularly looking for any response, anyway. And he just seems to know so well that right now, you just want to vent.

“It’s so embarrassing to say but I feel like he’s it, Kook.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “And I feel like… like the last time I felt this way about someone was with Eunwoo. And that was four years ago—” You let your head fall slightly. “And I’m so scared.” You don’t intend the crack in your voice when you say it.

“Hey,” Jungkook calls you again, turning his body towards you, reaching out to hold your arm.

“What if I’m wrong? Again?” You tell him.

It takes Jungkook a few seconds to answer.

“I think, __, that you’re a person with a big heart,” You scoff with a smile on your face at that. You get that a lot. But Jungkook insists, “I think you have so much love to give, you know? And I think… Mingyu’s a lucky guy if he gets to receive it.”

That makes your lips curl. Touched.

“You think so?”

Jungkook only nods.

“Why can’t you be nice to me like this all the time?” You crack a joke.

“I’m always nice to you,” Jungkook says in disbelief, obviously finding your words absurd. You only laugh but now Jungkook turns serious, and you fear you might have induced a genuine worry in him. “Am I not always nice to you?”

“You always tease me and shit in front of our friends but so incredibly sweet when we’re all alone.”

Jungkook stutters when he says, “Well… that’s my love language. Teasing you.”

You squint your eyes at him. “Awe, you love me?”

“Okay, fuck off.”

You burst into laughter when Jungkook rolls his eyes at you.

“Hey, swing me.”

You tell Jungkook, situating yourself more comfortably on the wooden platform attached to the chains.

“A dollar per minute.” He says, standing up from his own seat and placing himself behind you.

“I thought you hate capitalism? What is this?”

“This is forced labor.” Jungkook says with a groan that you think is a feigned exasperation, since you begin to feel movement right after it.

“You broke my hairdryer the other day. Consider this your compensation.” You look up at him to give him a smarmy smile.

Fom where you’re seated, you realize just how… big his presence is. It’s not the looming, ominous type, though – it’s quite the opposite. When Jungkook surrounds you, you find a bit of comfort in it – a huge one if you want to be honest to yourself.

“And I already bought you a new one. We’re even.” Jungkook squints his eyes at you.

You laugh.

“You’re gonna borrow and break it again.”

He visibly winces. “Touché.”

Jungkook swings you while you talk about your day, just like usual. He asks you about your laparoscopy that kept you from having lunch with the rest of your friends at the hospital earlier that day, about your new scrub cap, and you gossip a little about the new lab tech having a crush on the scrub nurse you both know.

For all his complaints earlier, Jungkook seemingly doesn’t seem to mind having swung you for the past ten minutes now. He’s relaxed and gentle with his movements, and his voice is quaint and soft as he talks to you.

But then you start to feel bad for him so you tell him to stop, standing up from the swing.

“Okay, your turn.”

Jungkook gives you a big grin.

“Nice.”

You chuckle at his enthusiasm when he sits on the swing chair this time around. But when you attempt a push, he barely moves, prompting him to laugh.

“What weak ass push was that?” He says incredulously, looking at you.

You jut your bottom lip out. “You’re heavy and I’m drunk.”

The second time you push him is more forceful but then Jungkook voices out a complaint after the third, fourth, and every single time you do it. You roll your eyes at his tantrums, but then suddenly, you think of a much better idea.

You push him off the swing with all your remaining strength even though your body feels like jelly from all the alcohol you consumed an hour ago.

“What the fuck, __?”

You burst out in boisterous laughter at Jungkook’s state, his hands and knees planted on the ground. He then sits on it, clapping his palms together to get rid of some dust that gathered on his skin.

Without thinking too much about it, you make quick steps over to his direction and situate yourself beside him.

Jungkook looks at you, confused, but you only give him a grin.

“Let’s lie on the ground.”

“What? No!” Jungkook immediately opposes it. As you expected.

You scrunch your face. “Oh! Look at me! I’m Jeon Jungkook and I’m a germaphobe and I’m afraid of dirt!” You say, intentionally making your voice a pitch higher.

Jungkook deadpans. “Pathogens can kill your cells’ metabolic machinery, so, yeah? I’m afraid of dirt.”

You roll your eyes at him and while he goes off about how they can also cause a toxic massive immune reaction, you push his chest forcefully which catches him off guard, prompting him to lay on the ground. Before he can say anything, you take his arm out to spread beside you and you use it to rest your head on.

Jungkook stops his rambling after that.

“See, shut up.” You say, backhanding him slightly on the chest. You fix your gaze at the skies.

“The sky is beautiful tonight. Worry about your pathogens next time.”

Jungkook chuckles, and you feel the vibration of his body as he does so, being so close to him.

As you peer up to look at him, you see him folding his other arm to lie his head on it.

You smile, going back to looking at the sky.

“This is like in The Notebook.” Jungkook says after a beat of silence.

“Right?” You grin. “And with the pathogens, too.” You tease.

Jungkook laughs, pinching your arm in his reach. “God, shut up about your pathogens.”

You chuckle at the irony.

“That’s me,” you point upwards, referring to a big twinkling light in the sky. Then, you move your finger towards the star beside it. “And then that’s you, ‘cause I’m a bigger star than you.”

You feel Jungkook look at you from his position. “You are so drunk.”

That causes you to giggle, clutching your stomach because you can’t stop laughing at pretty much everything tonight.

“I feel like I'm not anymore. My head just feels like it’s floating but no, definitely not drunk.”

“Whatever you say.” Jungkook says, chest vibrating from laughing at you.

“Hm. Race you to sleep, Jungkook.” You snuggle on his armpit. As you do, you smell a waft of your water lily springs body wash from Bath and Body Works. “Can you stop using my body wash?”

“What?” You can hear Jungkook say, but as he calls your name and more, his voice starts fading. “__? Hey, don’t sleep on me.”

You hum, eyes still closed.

“__, hey!” Jungkook grazes your arms. You can feel your head moving as Jungkook starts to sit, guiding your back to sit upright. He calls you again, gently tapping your cheek to wake you up.

The truth is, you’re really sleepy, but not so much that you can’t hear him anymore or move on your own.

Jungkook gives up trying to wake you up, though, convinced by your acting. Soon, he goes over in front of you, reaching for your arms and placing them around his neck.

“Just put your legs around me, yeah?” He whispers against your hair once you’re glued against his back.

You hum, intending it to sound like a mumble so Jungkook thinks you don’t actually understand.

Jungkook fixes your legs around him, standing up, bouncing a little to get you nice and snug in his back. You smile at the prospect of a piggyback ride.

“I know you’re awake, silly,” He says suddenly, his voice painted with amusement.

You stifle your laughter against his neck, breaking your supposed to be convincing act.

“Race you to the car, Kook.” you whisper into his ear.

Jungkook scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything more until you reach his car. He wears your seatbelt for you, though, and tells you to drink more water from his tumbler.

You fall asleep easily mid-drive.

In the morning, you wake up with a banging headache, your eyes catching the sight of a post-it note on your desk with one tab of Advil.

morning/afternoon stinky i made porridge before i left for my shift just heat it up again when you wake up ps: your medical bill from my personal care will be discussed later when i get back home. no friends discount allowed — your angelic friend, kookie

You chuckle at the (annoyingly elaborate) sketch of an angry bunny on the side.

“Mingyu,” you call his attention. Mingyu turns to look at you. “This is a really nice place.”

He smiles at your remark. Mingyu moves his hand from your waist to your lower back as he leads you to the entrance door.

“I’m glad you think so. I’ve been wanting to bring you here for a while.”

When you both reach the door, Mingyu introduces himself to the butler. You let the two of them talk for a while, him confirming his reservation, your eyes roaming around the restaurant and taking in the classy interior.

“Please follow me, Mr. Kim and Ms. __,”

The butler gestures inside and you both follow behind him.

It’s another one of your date nights. While it isn’t unusual for you both to get fancy with dinners, you’ve gotten used to the casual dinners you’ve been having at his own place with take-outs and his impressive cooking.

But tonight is a little different. There’s a certain something in the air – especially when Mingyu especially asked you to dress a little more formally. He always has a suit on naturally with his line of work, but tonight he’s wearing a particularly shiny one. The tie is something you’ve never seen before, but maybe you just like to think that. You on the other hand settled for an indigo satin dress that hugs your figure like a glove and shows just enough skin. You’ve always thought you looked good in it.

And you think it’s perfect for when Mingyu asks something that will change the trajectory of your relationship for good.

Today marks the third month since you started seeing each other. You don’t know if he’s aware of it – but it’s been, indeed, whole three months. An monthsary some sort? Granted, there’s no official label to it, at least not yet. But with the fancy set-up and the way he cryptically replied to when you asked him what the whole thing was for tonight, you think he does know. And this is his idea of surprise.

Of course, you don’t let yourself get obsessed with the idea lest you end up with only mere assumptions.

“Thank you.” You both say to the butler as he leads you both to your table. He gives you the menu book and you take your sweet time to choose from the selection, giving the butler your orders after a few minutes.

When he leaves, Mingyu looks at you wearing his usual charming smile.

You don’t think you’ll ever tire of his face.

“This is really fancy,” You tell him, smiling.

“It’s sort of like special place,” Mingyu chuckles. “You know, Mr. Yang– the senior partner over at work– officially announced me as partner here.” He tells you, eyes looking into yours.

You feel your heart do a somersault at his gaze and the possibility of his words.

“Good steak?” You say, trying to act oblivious to the weight of his confession. You also don’t want to assume he’s saying what you think he’s saying…

“Yeah, yeah,” He nods his head, chuckling, then his laughter fades as he begins to look more serious when he continues, “So… it’s been three months since we started seeing each other.”

Your heart skips a bit when you listen to his words. You didn’t think what you were thinking earlier was true, but now that he’s brought it up, you deduce you might not be too far away.

“__,” Mingyu calls. You hum, leaning in closer to let him know you’re listening attentively. He gives you a coy smile, then his hand on the table moves over towards yours. You don’t fight your big smile off when he places it on top of yours, especially when you feel the warmth it radiates and how it looks like it could just easily enclose your own. “You said you wanted to take things slow, and I respect that. I just want you to know that this is – this thing between us – it’s serious for me.”

“I’m serious about us two.” You say immediately.

Mingyu chuckles, simpering when he looks at you again. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“So?” You ask, waiting.

“I want to be your boyfriend. If you let me.” Mingyu says, clear and firm. “It’s just… I’m happy with our dates. And I just love hanging out with you. But I think I’ll be even happier if we go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend – officially – from now on.”

You nibble on your bottom lip; couldn’t contain the big smile you’ve been fighting against since earlier.

You’ve been expecting the question ever since you got here, but you’re quite surprised for your assumptions to be right.

“Okay.” You say coolly.

Mingyu furrows his brow. “Okay– as in…?”

“Okay, as in, I wanna be your girlfriend.”

His lips part. “Are you… for real?” You nod your head repeatedly, stifling a giggle as Mingyu begins to smile so widely. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” you lightheartedly scold.

Mingyu nods his head, still smiling. “I’m sorry, I’m just—” he cuts himself off with a chuckle. “You’re my girlfriend now.”

“Yeah.” You chuckle.

“I wish I can kiss you right now.”

You feel your cheeks heat up as you look around. There are too many people. But the hopeless romantic in you tells you it’s okay.

“Why won’t you?” You challenge him, and Mingyu arches a brow at that.

He looks like he’s giving in, but then he shakes his head. With a smile that borders on flirtatious, he leans closer to you and whispers, “Later.”

Mingyu’s sweet promise at the restaurant ends up with you straddling his lap on the driver’s seat, your dress riding over your thighs and the thin straps falling off your shoulder.

"Fuck," Mingyu breathes in your ear, hands full of your ass while you continue to grind against the bulging crotch of his slacks.

You're not any better, panting on the crook of his neck as he encourages you to move on top of him. You feel the wet kisses he bestows across the column of your neck, moaning at the delicious friction from one particular thrust of his hips.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, in your defense. Your dinner ended on a really good note and Mingyu was just supposed to lean in for one sweet kiss once you were situated in his car.

But then you swiped your tongue over his lips and Mingyu threw away his gentlemanly act for the night, granting you back with a kiss that had more fervor in it. Forceful in a way that says he wants you.

And the feeling’s more than mutual.

His coat’s long gone now, stashed away on his back seat, and you’ve already undone the top three buttons of his dress shirt. Mingyu squeezes your boob over the thin material of your dress, prompting you to let out a low moan.

“Why—” Mingyu cuts himself off to kiss your lips one more time.

“Why don’t we go to your place?”

You don’t register his words the first time, too drunk from the sensation of his touch over your body.

“Yeah?” You mindlessly say, eyes shut as Mingyu peppers kisses to your jaw down to your neck once again.

“You’ve never invited me to your place.”

At that, your eyes open and you still on top of him.

“What?”

Mingyu looks up, and you’re about to be distracted by his messy hair and his swollen lips but then he says, “We’ve never gone to your place before.”

“Oh.”

He’s quick to gauge your reaction. Cupping your jaw, he plants a kiss to the side of your lips. “I’m not insisting if you don’t want to.”

“N-no, I want to,” is your immediate response. “It’s just…” you trail off, thinking about how to approach the subject.

Mingyu hums, waiting for your next words, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. It helps you regulate your nervousness at the sudden mention of your place.

“I have a roommate.”

There you let it out.

Somehow in the past three months you’ve been dating, you never mentioned that you’re living with Jungkook. The subject just never came up – until now, that is – and you didn’t really feel the need to tell him when he never asked in the first place.

But deep inside, you’re a bit hesitant to tell him about it. Sure, Jungkook’s his friend, and Mingyu did say they were close and knew each other well, so it shouldn’t be a problem for him that you’re residing with his close friend – but that’s exactly what makes the whole thing weird. It’s one thing as a woman to live with a man in one place, and it’s another if that man is a friend of your – well, now boyfriend.

And you know to yourself that you and Jungkook are purely platonic so there should be absolutely nothing to be worried about. It’s not even that you don’t trust Mingyu to understand – it’s just that it’s not as easy to tell him straight up. Not when you’re just starting a relationship right now with an official label to it – not when you’re finally in a serious relationship after four whole years of looking and waiting.

You don’t want to ruin it. Not right now.

“Oh, okay.” Mingyu nods at your confession, understanding. “Is it why…?”

You nod your head, already getting what he means. Licking your lips, you look anywhere but his eyes. Instead, you focus your gaze on the exposed upper part of his chest and let your fingers toy with his collar. Mingyu lets you.

“But… roommate’s away for the night.” You tell him. And it’s true. Jungkook told you he has a date tonight and that usually means he won’t be going home.

And you want Mingyu so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

That puts a smile on your boyfriend’s face.

“She is, huh?”

Your heart skips a bit, and you give him a smile you hope he doesn’t recognize as fake.

Somehow, you don’t bother to correct him even though Jungkook – your very roommate – is most definitely not a she.

“And here goes my bedroom,” You say as you open your door, letting Mingyu in. You’re not really worried about its state because thank god you cleaned up before leaving for your date tonight. Jungkook’s the cleaner one though, and that’s an advantage because he’s kind of obsessed with cleaning the whole apartment and not just his room when he has the time. It’s exactly why Mingyu pays you a compliment on the neatness of the place.

“Cute,” he muses, looking at the Sanrio plushies on your nightstand.

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling a little shy. Mingyu’s place is the definition of bachelor – his bedroom’s literally out of an Architectural Digest page. And while you’re proud of your Sanrio plushie collection – they’re your childhood gifts and you’ve collected them until college and they were expensive as hell – you can’t help but think that maybe you’re coming off as childish right now. You wish you could’ve hidden them or something…

You hope Mingyu doesn’t think too much about it.

“I like the room,” Mingyu says, looking at you who’s sitting on the edge of your bed. “It feels very… you.”

“Really?” You chuckle. “I mean, I’d hope so. I’ve been here for two years.”

Mingyu chuckles, following you to the bed. You feel the mattress sinking in when he sits beside you.

“I wanted to give you something at the restaurant earlier, but I kinda chickened out,” He says.

You arch your brow. “What is it?”

You watch as Mingyu takes something out of his pocket, your heart skipping a few beats when it turns out to be a jewelry box. Mingyu looks at you and smiles, hands slowly opening the velvet box, and your lips part when it reveals a dainty silver necklace with a small drop diamond pendant.

“Wow.” You utter, eyes blinking repeatedly, not knowing how to react.

“Well…?” Mingyu says, gauging your reaction.

“You’re giving that to me?” You ask in pure disbelief. He only nods. “That’s really– it’s really pretty.”

“I thought about you when I picked it up. It made sense.” He says smoothly, and you giggle at his words.

God, you like him so much.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” You chuckle, cupping your face with your hands as if it could make the blood go away from your cheeks. “Thank you.”

“I’d love to wear it on you.” Mingyu smiles.

“Of course.”

He takes out the necklace from the box and asks you to turn around for a bit. You do so, helping him put your hair over one shoulder. You can feel him scooting closer to your back, his breathing on your nape, and the way he slowly caresses your shoulder first before his arms go around your neck to lock the necklace around your nape.

The cold of the material hits your skin, just on time when you feel Mingyu planting a kiss on your clavicle.

“It’s really pretty.” You say in awe, touching the pendant.

“Hm,” Mingyu continues to pepper your skin with small kisses. “You’re beautiful.” You turn to look at him, smiling. He mirrors that and cups your jaw to give you a peck on the lips. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You giggle when he squeezes your waist.

“Thank you.” you say in between your laughter. You hold his arms and stand up from the bed to place yourself in front of him. Mingyu looks up at you with one brow raised, but he’s quick to manspread when you begin to straddle his lap. As you situate yourself on top of him, you wrap your arms around his neck and let him run his hands across your body when you do so. “I really appreciate the necklace.”

“Yeah?” Mingyu whispers against your lips.

You hum, trailing your fingers down his collar then start to unbutton his shirt. When you get the few undone, you look Mingyu into his eyes and he meets your lips that crash into his in a few seconds.

You suppose it’s not exactly surprising that the kiss turns heated way too quickly. After all, you were both humping each other in his car earlier.

Sighing into the kiss, you tug at his hair, and it prompts his hands to squeeze your ass a little too tight. Mingyu breaks the kiss and there’s a barely noticeable string of saliva when your lips move away from each other. He trails kisses from your jaw down to the base of your neck, taking the straps of your dress down, hands beginning to rub your bare arms.

“So beautiful,” Mingyu sighs, lips travelling back to your own. He prods his tongue in your mouth that you gladly open for him. You let out a moan from the sensation of his tongue against yours, clutching his shoulders so hard you're sure you're gonna imprint your nails on his skin despite the shirt he still has on.

"Mingyu," you whisper, mouth ajar and gaping uselessly against his hair as his mouth leaves yours eventually to go down to your cleavage. His wandering fingers go around your back to fumble with the ribbons that are holding the dress, and you’re quick to help him tug it down completely until your chest is out for his full viewing.

Mingyu hisses at the lack of bra – except the nipple tapes – when the top of the dress comes off. He stops and stares, then takes a long and deep breath, as if the sight of your breasts intoxicated him; sighing as if he's long wished to see you like this.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so hot." He cups the swell of your chest in his two large palms, fondling them as you continue rolling your pelvis against his straining crotch area. He grazes the silicon material covering your nipples, looks up at you as if to ask.

“Y-yeah,” you sigh out, knowing what he meant with the look.

Taking them off gently, Mingyu earns a moan from you, the sound getting a bit louder when he puts one of the two peaks in his mouth, and the sight is nothing short of erotic.

It elicits a sharp breath from you, hands flying to his soft and brunette locks. You almost feel bad thinking that you've been grabbing at them since earlier.

But you have more important things to mind than attending to Mingyu’s silky and healthy hair.

You seek for his lips which he gives you almost automatically when he notices you asking for it, the two of you meeting in a hungry kiss, your nails on one hand clawing at his back as you cup his jaw in the other. But his hands don't leave your breasts, palming them roughly but just right; squeezing so hard all the while tugging at your nipples.

For a moment, you take a halt, catching your breath and look at him with your hooded eyes. You kiss the corner of his mouth. "Take your shirt off."

He does as you say so, and you help him unbutton the entirety of his dress shirt to get the thing off him faster. Mingyu lets go of your boobs but quickly holds them as soon as his shirt is off. This time he flicks at both your nipples, and you can’t help but bite at his neck. The pleasure’s too much and you can feel yourself dripping down your thong, the sticky feeling of it making you squirm on his lap.

As if Mingyu has read your mind, he grips your waist and sets you down on the bed. He hovers over you, fingers idly exploring under the skirt of your dress until he finds the band of your panties.

You groan when you feel the cold brush of air on your bare thighs, suddenly feeling impatient. "Mingyu,"

“You want me to eat you out?” He whispers, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

You almost cry at his question.

“Yes,”

Mingyu drags his fingers on your clothed core, groaning when he feels how soiled your thong is. "You're so fucking wet, sweetheart. Look at you," he sighs, hands leaving your pussy as he leans back and palms the strain of his pants. Your toes curl at the sight, uneven breaths puffing from your lips. "Look so sweet under me."  

And you're also a mess under him, writhing and completely getting lightheaded from his actions.

You let out a mewl when he pushes up the skirt of your dress to your hips, dragging down your underwear to your thighs.

Lifting your butt off the mattress, you help him get it off of you completely and you don't miss the way the flimsy thong sticks to your pussy before he takes it off you entirely. Mingyu seems to notice as well, judging from the way he hissed under his breath.

Your pussy is slick and sloppy, wet and dripping for him.

"So fucking pretty for me, god, I can’t believe I get to have you like this," he whispers against your throbbing heat, leaving a small kiss on your clit.

You arch your back when he uses his finger to run it through your slit, adding another one to spread your walls. Mingyu groans at the juices that stick to his digits.

As he adjusts himself on the mattress, hands gripping the back of your knees, you push them up until you're bended in almost half. You hold up your own legs, getting whiplashed when he licks a long, firm and deep stripe over you, making your eyes roll from the back of your head, breath hitching as you keep yourself steady in your own hold.

"Oh my god – Mingyu!–"

He starts slow, kissing around your labia, the tip of his tongue teasing your clit. Your head falls from the mountain of pillows under you, suddenly feeling frustrated.

"S-stop teasing me. Please, Mingyu,"

Ending your misery, he spreads your thighs, puckers his lips and dusts a few pecks over your bare heat and dives in for it seconds later with too much fervor. He savors every drop that oozes out from your hole, licking and lapping until you feel his tongue inside you. Mingyu could be spelling out his name for all it matters, but you really couldn't give a fuck.

"Oh, fuuuuck–" you groan, trying so hard to keep yourself steady. "S-so good,"

He hums in your pussy, and you don't help the way one of your legs drop to the mattress, the other one hooking on his shoulder. It makes you grab for his hair, pushing his head down and thrashing underneath his face.

It felt like minutes passed and you're almost crying by how good it all feels, his tongue doing wonders in the walls of your heat.

Soon, tears start to well in your eyes because of the pleasure, drawn out moans and heavy breaths filling the room. You couldn’t care less about the volume. Right now, you just want to cum.

"Your fingers, Mingyu,” You sigh out, and before you could even prepare yourself, he's inserting his middle finger inside you, pushing it in until it's knuckle-deep. "Oh god!"

“Yeah?”

He starts at an average pace until he adds another finger in your entrance, this time picking up his speed – and it makes you drip everywhere.

When he settles on scissoring his fingers inside you, moving at an abnormal pace that have you gasping under him, your body shake and your toes curl on the sheets. Mingyu swoops down to kiss your pussy again, two digits being repeatedly swallowed by your warm hole, slurping every juice that comes out of it. As he feels you tremble, the precedence of you nearing your climax, he takes his thumb to your clit.

"Oh, fuck, fuck," your pant, "I'm coming–fuck–“

Mingyu removes his fingers from you, exchanging them with his tongue instead and you cry out while he continues to rub your clit vigorously.

And when you arch your back higher this time, you spasm around his fingers, moaning uncontrollably.

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it,” Mingyu whispers, pecking your heat a few more times to calm you down from your high. After a few moments, he removes your thigh from his shoulder, quickly coming up to kiss you on the mouth.

You taste yourself on his tongue but you couldn’t pay much attention to it when you feel his dick against your thigh. Closing your eyes, you let exhaustion wash over you.

Mingyu lets you stay still, and when you open your eyes again, you see him staring at you with a warm smile dancing across his lips. Your heart skips a beat, could no longer feel it but hear it instead, and you bite your lip, pushing his chest away slightly in an attempt to get on top of him.

“Let me suck your cock.” You say, but Mingyu shakes his head, firm on his place: on top of you.

“Let’s do that next time. Tonight, I have to fuck you well into the next day.”

And he does.

You didn't cum again – you usually don't from penetrative sex – and your first orgasm exhausted you way too much to let yourself go the second time. Mingyu didn't mind, telling you it was fine when you gave him an apology about it.

You wake up panicking at the thought that you’re going to be late for work.

Scrambling to sit on your bed, you take your alarm clock in your hands, letting out a dramatic “Thank god” when you see it read as 5:06am. Your alarm goes off at 5:30 as your weekday shift starts at seven.

Which means it’s still early. And you’re not going to be late for work like you feared.

You remember last night’s events though, and your eyes quickly go over to the other side of your bed.

Mingyu’s not in it – but it feels warm. An indication of the fact that he stayed the night over after what you did. You also deduced that he must’ve only gotten out a few minutes before you woke up.

Thinking he’s outside your room, you begin to stand up – groaning the way your thighs ache a bit as you do so. You’re only dressed in your panties and camisole, and you thought about going out in them – but then it made you feel a little weird. Okay, sure, Mingyu’s already seen everything there is to see – you had sex last night – but being naked in a non-sexual fashion in front of someone is kind of a little different, so you opt on putting on a pair of short shorts.

As you head towards your door, fingers ready to twist the knob, you’re surprised to see Mingyu meeting you halfway.

“Hey—”

“Why the hell is Jungkook here?”

Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion.

Mingyu wears an expression you’ve never seen him in before. He’s pissed. Eyebrows furrowed, gaze not soft like it usually is when it comes to you, and above all… his tone borders on accusatory.

“Why is he in the living room saying he’s your roommate?” Mingyu asks once again when you don’t say anything.

“I—” but you’re rendered speechless, frozen in your position. Your mouth moves but nothing comes out. Your brain is a jumble of thoughts and all you can think about is Mingyu seemingly getting mad at you.

“__?” A voice that’s absolutely familiar speaks up. You hear Jungkook’s steps getting closer to your door when he finally shows himself to you. “What’s Mingyu doing here? And why doesn’t he know we live together?”

Mingyu forces himself inside your bedroom and bumps into you a bit as he faces you with a venomous tone. “I’m going.” He declares, grabbing his shirt from your desk chair and putting on his belt.

“Mingyu, it’s not—”

“Save it, __.” He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence, hastily buttoning up his dress shirt.

Jungkook frowns and butts in. “Mingyu, let her talk. I told you earlier, we’re roommates—”

“Jeon,” You turn to look at him, almost spitting out his name. “Not now.”

You see Jungkook visibly recoiling at that. But you’re too concerned over Mingyu already on his way out the door, ready to leave.

“Mingyu, just hear me out.” You say, looking at him sincerely.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Not right now.” Mingyu tells you with a cold look paired with a cold tone. You deflate, taken aback at how nothing on his face screams like he cares about you. He glances at his watch. “I have to go to work.”

He heads towards your apartment door and you follow him there, hoping to change his mind about hearing you out.

“I know what you’re thinking right now, and it’s not that, Gyu.” You tell him once again, following him outside your unit.

Mingyu stands there for a while. Then, he sighs, putting his thumb over his temple. He heaves out a breath, looking into your eyes as he says, “I just don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? Let’s just… let things cool down for a bit.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “How do you mean?”

“I’m flying to Chicago this afternoon but I’ll be back in the evening. I’ll call you later after work.” He says, and now his face doesn’t look so devoid of emotions like how it was earlier.

But you worry about his words.

“You’re flying to another state.” You reiterate, just so you know you heard him right.

“It’s just for a few hours, sweetheart,” The petname soothes you a little but then he continues to add, “Look, I’m not sure of how I feel about… Jungkook being your roommate. You didn’t tell me about it– just imagine my surprise when I saw him after I went out of your room. It’s not a nice feeling to get lied to,” He says, and you feel an arrow shooting straight to your heart at that. You blink your eyes, feeling like there are tears forming on the sides. Mingyu seems to notice that as he steps closer to you and rubs your arm. “We’ll talk later, __. Just not now. Give me time to process this.”

You give him a weak smile.

Mingyu cups your cheek, and you lean towards his touch. Rubbing a thumb over your skin, he leans down to kiss your lips.

When he breaks away after a quick moment, he tells you, “Later, hm? I promise.” You nod. Mingyu gives you a smile. “And thank you for last night.”

That erases your worry. Not all, but some of it.

“Thank you too.”

“Alright, I’m going, okay?” Mingyu lets go of your face and you look at him as he turns around after you bid your goodbye.

You watch his retreating back in the hallway from your position, nibbling on your bottom lip trying to process the turn of events – and it’s only five fucking am still.

When you enter your apartment again, you see Jungkook sitting on the couch of your living room. And he looks just as pissed when your gaze falls to him.

“What the hell was that?” He welcomes you with.

“What the hell is this?” You point back at him. “You told me you weren’t coming home.”

“Yeah, but I have work – which we both go to at the same time, by the way. Apparently, you’re bringing boys now to this goddamn place.”

You do a double take at his tone.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” You say, voicing starting to pick up volume. You feel irritation bubbling up inside you as Jungkook stands up from the couch and turns his back to you, ignoring your question as he heads to the direction of the kitchen.

“I said we’re both gonna be late for work.”

You follow his steps. “No, you said I’m “bringing boys here”, what do you mean by that?” You grab his arm and that’s effective enough to make him turn around and look at you. But he avoids eye contact. “Don’t turn your back to me when I’m talking to you, Jungkook.”

“I’m so sorry then, I’ll make sure to look into your eyes when I say every word that comes out of my mouth from now on.” He sarcastically says, and your annoyance grows.

“Watch your goddamn tone.”

Jungkook scoffs. “You’re the one to talk about watching tones when you literally just told me to shut up in front of your boyfriend?”

Your frown instantly. So you were right to think that moved him a little. But you tell him your confusion, “Where the hell did you get that? I didn’t tell you to shut up.”

“Yeah, you just told me “not now” like I’m a child trying to insert himself in mommy and daddy’s little argument. You might as well just have told me to shut the fuck up.”

The way he phrased your argument with Mingyu “little” rubs you off the wrong way.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” you sarcastically say. “Did getting told to shut up by a woman in front of another man hurt your big macho man ego?” 

“You’re making it about another thing.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, opening the refrigerator and taking out a loaf of bread.

“You think I forgot about your little “bringing boys here” comment?” You point out, but Jungkook decides now is the time to be an asshole and starts acting nonchalant instead, putting jam all over his bread. But you see the tick in his jaw, the tongue prodding against his mouth. He’s just as pissed as you are right now.

“And you sure as hell did. I don’t know what to tell you.”

You seethe. “Fuck you. I don’t bring “boys” here. Mingyu’s my boyfriend,” You say, and to be petty, you add, “As if you’ve never ever brought girls here before?”

Jungkook looks at you instantly. “Don’t you dare pin that on me. That was in the very first week that we lived together, mind you. But you told me how uncomfortable it made you feel and I thought about boundaries since then and never did it again. Why do you think I come over at their place instead of just hanging out here, huh, __? Even when we didn’t verbally agree on not having sex around this place, I thought it would be a goddamn principle. Heck,” He looks somewhere and scoffs, “Mingyu didn’t even know I’m your roommate. What did you tell him?”

You open your mouth to make a rebuttal, but nothing comes.

Because you realize in the middle of his outburst that… he’s right.

The first time that you saw a woman coming out of his own room and Jungkook noticing your discomfort about it, he just stopped doing his… thing in the apartment. It wasn’t a verbal agreement, as per his words, but he’s right. It should have been a principle.

In the past two years you lived with each other – that was the only time he ever did it. It became an unspoken rule: don’t bring your hook-ups here. But you never really had to worry about that unspoken rule because you didn’t do one-night-stands often, and when you did hook up with people over the past two years, it was rare so it was easy to do it in their place.

It has become a norm for you that you don’t see other people here anymore except for your friends when they invite themselves over – but you aren’t aware that Jungkook’s apparently making an active choice to specifically not hook up in here this whole time.

Coupled with the fact that you didn’t tell Mingyu about him being your roommate and him being caught up with your argument earlier – you feel a sense of guilt. A huge one at that.

But the stubborn part in you thinks that Mingyu’s different. He’s not a mere hook-up. He’s your boyfriend now! Couldn’t that be an exemption to the rule that’s unspoken in the first place?

“I…” you trail off, scolding yourself internally for not forming a coherent thought faster than you’d like.

When you don’t follow it up with anything, Jungkook takes his plate with him, turning on his heels away from you.

“See you at work.” He says, but it’s sarcastic and clipped.

Jungkook leaves one piece of bread for you though – just like he always does. And you take that as a sign that he’s not all that mad at you.

… Maybe?

You stand there in the middle of your kitchen island like some stupid stoned individual, going over the things that happened for the past – what – twenty minutes? You don’t even fucking know. Your wall clock in the living room had run out of battery, and your brain is too occupied with messy thoughts scattered all around you can feel a headache coming.

One thing’s for sure, though: you’re in the wrong. With Mingyu and with Jungkook. And you need to make it right somehow.

PART TWO | PART THREE

all right reserved © awrkive, 2024. no reposts, modification, and copying allowed. if you enjoy my work and have the extra means, please consider supporting me on ko-fi <3

[disasterofastory]

mountainmen!141 x Reader

Let's say you leave the city behind to rent a small cabin in the middle of the woods you found on the internet under the name of John Price.

Let's say you meet him for the first time when you get to the cabin. He waits for you to give you the keys and show you around. He mentions that they live nearby, at the other end of a narrow path winding through the trees.

Let's say you call him because you can't shut the bedroom window, but instead of John, a man named Johnny shows up. His accent is thick, and his words are sometimes hard to follow, but he fixes the window for you.

Let's say you go over to them after a few days with some cookies. When you get there, you meet Kyle, who invites you in for tea. He explains that the others have gone into town to pick up supplies for the approaching storm.

Let's say when the storm finally hits, it's worse than expected. Simon comes over to check on you, making sure you are safe in the cabin.

and maybe maybe

Let's say looks can mislead. Here they are, buff, handsome men, living together in the middle of the woods. You'd think they could have any woman they wanted, right?

But why are they here then, isolated like this?

I will tell you why.

Despite their successful military careers, their personal lives have always been a mess.

John? Divorced. Twice. His job and his loyalty to his men team always came first. His marriages didn't last long. His wives left when they realized they would never be his priority.

Simon doesn't talk much. Stoic to a fault. It's hard to build a relationship when you barely say a word. He is great under pressure, but dating? A whole different battlefield.

Kyle? He learned early that his looks are more of a curse than a blessing. No one ever trusted him. His partners always thought he'd cheat. He's charming, fun, and smart, so why would a guy like him settle for just one person when it seems like he could have anyone?

And Johnny, poor Johnny. He's never been with a woman. People say he's too clingy, too much in every way. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and not everyone can handle that.

But now, you are in the picture too, aren't you?

[perseidlion]

Streaming in Kaos

Well, it happened. I can't say that I'm surprised that KAOS has been cancelled by Netflix. I am a little surprised at the speed at which it was axed. Only a month after it aired, and it's already gone.

That has me wondering if the decision to cancel was made before the show even aired. We have to remember that marketing is the biggest cost after production. If the Netflix brass looked at the show and either decided (through audience testing, AI stuff or just their own biases) that it wasn't going to be a Stranger Things-level hit, they probably chose at that moment to slash its marketing budget.

That meant there was pretty much no way that KAOS was ever going to hit the metrics Netflix required of it to get a season 2.

What makes me so angry about this (other than the survival of a show relying on peoples' biases or AI) is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you decide before a show is ever going to air that it won't be a success, then it probably won't be. If you rely on metrics and algorithms and AI to analyze art, you will never let something surprise you. You'll never let it grow. You'll never nurture the cult hits of the future or the next franchise.

Netflix desperately needs people behind the scenes that believe in stories and potential over metrics. Nothing except the same old predictable dreck is ever going to be allowed to survive if you don't believe in the stories you're telling.

The networks and streamers have a huge problem on their hands. They need big hits and to build the franchises of the future to sustain their current model (which is horribly broken.) But people have franchise fatigue and aren't showing up for known IPs like they used to. The fact that Marvel content is definitely not a sure thing anymore is a huge canary in the coal mine for franchise fatigue. People aren't just tired of Marvel, they're tired of the existing worlds both on the big screen and the small one. Audiences are hungry for something new.

It is telling that the most successful Marvel properties of the last few years have been the ones that do something different. Marvel is smart to finally pull out The X-Men because that is a breath of fresh air and something people are hungry to see more of.

There's pretty much no one behind the scenes (except for maybe AMC building The Immortal Universe) that is committing to really taking the time to build these new worlds. Marvel built the MCU by playing the long game. That paid dividends for a solid decade even if it's dropping off now. That empire was built not with nostalgia for existing IP (don't forget the MCU was built with B and C tier heroes) but with patience. Marvel itself seems to have forgotten this in recent years.

Aside from that, I think people really want stories that aren't connected to a billion other things. That takes commitment on the part of the audience to follow and to get attached to. People WANT three to five excellent seasons of a show that tells its own story and isn't leaving threads out there for a dozen spinoffs. We're craving tight storytelling.

KAOS could have been that. Dead Boy Detectives could have been that. So could Our Flag Means Death, Lockwood and Co, Shadow and Bone, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, Willow, and a dozen other shows with great potential or were excellent out of the gate.

If you look at past metrics, you only learn what people used to like, not what they want now. People are notoriously bad about articulating what they want, but boy do they know it when they see it. Networks have to go back to having a dozen moderate successes instead of constantly churning through one-season shows that get axed and pissing off the people who did like it in a hamfisted attempt to stumble on the next big thing.

The networks desperately need to go back to believing in their shows. Instead, they keep cutting them off at the knees before they ever get a chance because some algorithm told them the numbers weren't there.

[saintjosie]

Heyyyy girl so, I'm at an impasse with my transition. The euphoria is gone and I don't know where to find it anymore. Everything is progressing sooooo slowly, still too afraid to fully present fem, I came out to everyone I could, I'm still figuring out my style

I just don't know where to chase that girl high anymore

the first year or so of transition, euphoria was abundant.

my skin changed, i grew boobs, my body hair thinned out, and my hair grew out. i got laser and my facial hair slowly started to go away. i figured out what kind of clothes looked good on me and what i felt good wearing. i did voice training and found my voice. i learned how to do makeup. i had dabbled before but i REALLY learned how do it properly, and in a way where i didn’t feel like i had to cake my face with makeup.

but things didn’t really change until i decided to come out and stop boymoding no matter what - even if people misgendered me, or were transphobic, i just decided that i was gonna do it because fuck them. i’m doing this for me and not for anyone else.

and that’s when i really learned what it means to move through the world as a woman. because even if i didn’t pass as well as i liked, being publically a trans woman meant that everywhere i went, people either saw me as a woman or treated me with misogyny because they saw me as a man pretending to be one. either way, i had to deal with misogyny every day, the way that all women have to.

i learned what it feels like to get hit on when i don’t want the attention and what it’s like to be followed while holding my keys between my fingers.

and i also learned what being one of the girls feels like, with girl talk, chit chat, and white wine. i learned how to tell my friends how im feeling and listen to them in turn.

and from those experiences, i learned what kind of woman i wanted to be. i learned that i didn’t really like wearing girly things as much as androgyny and rough femininity. i learned that i didn’t really like wearing all that much makeup all the time. i learned how to gently turn away men without offending them. i learned how to deal with a man’s ego by making them feel smart and capable and how to subtly shut them down when they annoyed the hell out of me.

and i also learned that this was MY experience with womanhood and no one else’s. that other women did things differently and were still every bit as much women in their own way.

and at a certain point i realized that there wasn’t going to be a next high, a next hit of euphoria, because that wasn’t what i was chasing anymore. i was building a life and it was finally the life i wanted. now all of my joy is euphoria. and also all of my sadness and rage. because i just AM a woman. i’m not a woman in transition. i’m just a woman.

there are still some things i’d like to change and there probably always will be. but that’s also just what it’s like to be a woman and to be human.

just keep taking it one step at a time and you’ll find your own way. i promise 🙂

[houseofhyde]

thinking abt aemond falling in love w blind!reader.

pairing. aemond x fem!reader warnings. no use of y/n, enemies to friends to lovers, ableism, so much fluff, a little bit of smut, angst (who said that). no mention of the reader's physical description. wrote in one sitting, no edit, we die like real men. wordcount. 3.1k (this was meant to be a short silly drabble) hyde's input. couldn't get this out my mind so, naturally, i'm making it your problem too now. enjoy, muah x disclaimer ! i'm not visually impaired but i do have several family members who are, to different degrees, and i've tried to stay true to what i remember them describing it like to me. the reader in this is completely blind, however, and that is something i do not have any experience in. please, if you feel anything about my portrayal is wrong or offensive, kindly let me know and i will happily fix it <3

the first time you meet is a few days after the events on driftmark.

with his new disability, the septa encourages alicent to change his usual lessons alongside his siblings for ones held with a couple of other impaired children of highborn status living in the keep.

aemond, of course, protests.

nearly kicking and screaming.

yells at his mother that he doesn't want to be thrown in a box with all the other "broken toys".

he ends up going anyway, dragged there by a handful of guards.

sulks throughout the whole first week, sitting alone in a corner.

and he would've continued to do that forever, if you didn't invade his space.

aka sit down next to him and offer him a book.

"go away," he says, the pout on his lips pointing lower to the ground.

"i don't want to," you refute.

"i won't tell you again, go. away."

"who are you to tell me anything?"

it leaves him speechless, because,

who is he? seriously?!

he thinks you have to be some sort of idiot to not recognise your prince

the following days go the same as the first

you sit near him and hold out a book

he tells you to go away

sometimes you listen

(not without first making it clear that you're moving because you want to, not because he told you to)

other days you don't

you just sit there next to him

staring blankly ahead

not even attempting to open the book that sits in your lap

one day, when he's feeling particularly short on patience

(he had his first sparring lesson with ser criston since losing his eye and it went awfully, each hit and stumble he took to the ground made worse by the echo of aegon's laughter ringing out throughout the whole courtyard)

he asks why you never read that book

"are you an idiot, or something? can't you read? is that why you're here?"

despite how smart he is for his age, he seems to not see the irony in him judging you for being part of an impaired group, as if he isn't also right there with you

such introspection would require acceptance of his loss first, and aemond just isn't ready for that.

"i can't read," you confirm

"because you're slow"

"no."

"then why?"

"i can't see the pages," it's the first time he notices that you're not looking at him. you're trying, face turned and eyes pointed in his direction, but you're staring past his shoulder, "i can't see anything."

he feels guilty,

wretched,

and the sickest twist of comfort.

because he understands

or at least he tells himself he does

because he can't see anything either - out of his missing socket, that is.

the other eye can see perfectly clearly how you don't even flinch as you speak about your disability

and that's when the jealousy takes over.

"then what good is it carrying around that stupid book?"

he says it because he wants to be mean.

so mean that you run away and leave him alone to sulk forever more.

but you just sit there, shrug your shoulders and shift the book around in your palm,

"i like to feel the weight of it in my hand. plus, you never know when you're going to need throw it at someone"

he bites his tongue before he can ask how you can hope to hit a target you can't even see.

the hostility remains

for months, years.

but you sit near him,

he stops telling you to go away,

you still offer the book out to him.

he learns your name.

not because he wants to

but because the septa calls it out one day in the classroom

and you're the one that answers to it.

the first time he sees you outside the study room, you're all alone, none of your father's guards around you,

and that's what really makes him stop in his tracks.

"what kind of lord leaves his daughter to wander blindly around the keep?" he almost says with his usual disgust,

until he notices that you don't have your book

and you're crying.

despite his own discomfort, aemond tells himself he has to comfort you.

because he's thirteen, almost a man.

and what kind of respectable man leaves a girl to cry all by herself?

he wipes your tears with the sleeves of his doublet, waits patiently until your breathing slows, then he speaks,

"what happened?"

"it's you," you say it softly, almost like you can't believe he's the one comforting you.

"it's me. now tell me what happened?"

"nothing," you tell him at first,

until he demands the full truth in the name of his father, king viserys targaryen.

"i overheard my mother speaking to my father about me. i didn't mean to! i just wanted to show them how i memorised the path from my chambers to theirs, without an escort. i wanted to prove that i can be useful, and good, and not a burden. i heard them through the crack in their door. she wants him to send me away to join the silent sisters. she says i can't see, so i may as well not speak either. but my father won't listen. he says i'm his daughter, and that he will not send me away. he loves me too much, i worry he'll hate me for it one day."

that familiar guilty feeling creeps in,

the one he's felt lingering on his skin since the day you told him of your visual impairment.

he's suddenly so aware of the fact he can see you,

and your tear-stained face,

and the shades of blue in your dress.

"where is your book?" he asks.

"i dropped it, whilst running through the halls. i just wanted to stop hearing them, i didn't want... i didn't mean to cause any mess, i'm sorry."

in an act that surprises even him, aemond takes your hand in his

and pulls you both to your feet.

he slowly leads you along familiar hallways, turning corners he's turned a million times.

"where are we going?"

"trust me."

you know he's taken you to the library the minute he opens the doors, a whiff of old books hitting your senses.

he guides you to a book shelf, puts your hand up to touch the exposed spines

and tells you to move forward.

"stop when you feel it's right."

you stop after four steps.

your fingers grazing over a book titled Matters Of The Heart: a Compilation of Fictitious Stories on Love and Beauty.

he pulls it out the shelf,

guides you both over to a bench,

open the dust covered book,

and reads to you.

the following day, when your father's guards guides you down next to aemond in the study room

and you hold your book out to him

he takes it,

shuffles a little closer to you,

and softly recites the words off their pages.

from that day forward, you become an infamous pair in the keep.

the one-eyed prince and the sightless girl,

never one without the other.

aemond becomes your shadow, always two steps ahead or behind you.

you pick out books in the library

and he reads them to you both.

he brings you down to the courtyard

and watches how you flinch each time the clack of wooden swords rings out.

it drives him to be better,

learn to see more in his opponents than even two eyes would allow,

just so he can watch how the smile stretches across your face each time he tells you he won.

you grow so close that one day, the king invites your family to join the royals for supper.

aemond tries not to care that you end up sitting so far away from him at the table.

at least he can look down it and spot you seated at your father's side, he tells himself.

when dinner ends and music starts to play,

aemond ceases the chance to sneak away from his seat and steal the empty one by your side, both your parents having stood to speak with the king.

he brushes two fingers along the back of your hand,

a private, tactile language only you two can speak,

one that tells you it's him, without him even having to say a word.

"prince aemond," you say, and he instantly hates hearing you address him so formally. "you look handsome this evening"

"and how would you know that?" there's no hint of the malice, the mockery he once used to speak to you with, back when he was angry little boy and you were a stubborn girl.

now he's a man of fifteen years and anger is far from something he feels next to you.

he watches you shrug and the smile that he likes best - cheeky, playful - slips onto your lips

"my mother won't stop bringing it up. dashing, she said."

"is that so?"

"mhmm. but she also says my father should offer me to your father and have us both wed, what with our cripple-like qualities making us unsuited for any other lord or lady, so, really, what does she know? for all i know, you're the most hideous thing to walk the keep and i should feel blessed that i can't see you."

"imagine how i feel. i still have to see you."

"oh, the horrors! well then, my all-mighty seeing knight-in-eye-patch, would you lend me your sight one moment and tell me."

"tell you what?"

"do i have anything in my teeth?" you bite back your laughter as you open your mouth and put your pearly-whites out on display for him.

he doesn't even care if the sight is unlady-like

or if anyone else at the table has noticed.

he's too busy laughing along with you and telling lies of how a massive piece of veg is stuck between your upper front teeth.

aegon is as aegon has alaways been,

a thorn in aemond's side,

and he makes no exceptions when it comes to you.

he can't help but laugh at you both

mouth stained with wine as he saunters up and leans his face down between you both.

"isn't it amazing how, between you both, there's only one eye that actually works?"

aemond bites his tongue, like he always does when it comes to his brother.

you, however, aren't quieted so easily.

"oh, so amazing! do you know what's even more amazing? how the stench of you always announces your arrival."

it's the first time aemond feels it.

that flutter in his chest.

and once it starts, it doesn't seem to want to stop,

he seeks you out most hours of the day

and thinks of you when he's not with you.

when he notices the bruises that litter your arms

from bumping into corners and walking into walls

he has a cane made for you, to help you more safely make your way through the keep.

it's the greatest gift he can give you: the freedom to walk your own path.

one day, as he's telling you about the recent flight he took upon vhagar, you ask him what the sky looks like.

"well, it's blue"

you blink at him, wait for the ball to drop.

"but you wouldn't know what that means"

he tries to think of something else, a different way to describe the vastness of the sky

"have you ever ridden upon a horse?"

you nod your head

"have you ever ridden fast upon a horse?"

you nod again.

"that feeling, when you're gripping at the reigns, and the horse's hooves beat against the ground like a drum, and the wind takes no mercy on your hair, and, for a moment, there's this... warmth of possibility, anticipation, right here" he guides your hand to rest atop your chest, on the side that your heart rests. "that you can leap and beat any obstacle in your way, and for a moment the world is open, and vast, and limitless. that is what the sky looks like, the perfect place to race upon horseback."

"except you're on a dragon."

"well, yes, but find me a horse that has wings and i promise to take you riding up in the sky one day."

you ask him to describe more things, more often.

the forest.

the iron throne.

the sea.

vhagar.

each book he reads you.

till one day you ask, "what do you look like?"

he tries his best.

he tells you about his signature targaryen hair,

and helps guide your hand up to touch it.

he tells you about his pointed nose,

and guides your pointer finer up to drag itself down the length of it.

he tells you about his jawline,

and lets you feel that part of him too.

"and your eye?" you ask.

he doesn't say anything

but he does peal off his eyepatch

and guide your hand up to run down the length of his scar.

"what does it look like?"

"gross."

"that's funny, because it just feels like skin. is all skin gross?"

"no but this skin... it's damaged."

"i feel something. it's hard," you murmur, as your nail traces over the curve of the gemstone that fills his socket.

"it's a sapphire."

"a sapphire?"

"yes. it's like a precious, shiny, smooth, blue rock."

"what about the other eye, the one that's still there?"

"what about it?"

"what does it look like? what colour is it? eyes have colours, don't they?"

"they do," he says, gazing into the hypnotising shade of your own, "it's blue."

"the sky, the sea, your eyes. i think blue might be my favourite colour."

he falls asleep that night with a smile on his face

his heart relieved that you never asked him to put into words what you look like,

because there simply aren't enough words known to man,

be it in the common tongue

or high valyrian,

to describe how beautiful you are.

he tells you as much, when you do eventually ask.

in the fallout of storm's end, soaked to the bone and regretful,

it's you who his legs carry him to

your chambers, to be exact

it doesn't even cross his mind to care that his knocking at your door awakens you

he doesn't care, loses all ability to do so when he collapses into your arms

"i made a mistake," he tells you, when you ask what's wrong

"that's okay, mistakes help us learn better."

not this one, he thinks

you're so gentle with him

and your skin is so warm against his cold

that he can't help himself

his lips find yours.

his hands find your hips.

his breath gets lost somewhere between you both.

but that's okay,

you're all the air he's ever needed.

he feels selfish, when he guides you over to your bed.

and he knows he should tell you what's happened,

what's changed.

he knows he shouldn't be touching you with hands that are stained by blood.

but he's desperate,

and he's breathless,

and he's so frighteningly in love with you.

"please, aemond," it's you who begs for more.

it's you who tugs on the leather of his jerkin.

it's you who pulls at the cotton of his shirt.

it's you who he gets undressed for.

you both wind up naked upon your sheets,

limb tangled with limb.

"i wish i could see you," you tell him. "but i don't need to see you to know you're beautiful, aemond. i feel it, in everything you do for me."

so he lets his own eye shut.

decides he doesn't need to see you either,

not like this, his skin tainted with the smell of the rain, and his dragon, and the velaryon boy's scream.

and the truth is, he wants to take you like this.

he wants to be cruel, and damn you to a life by his side.

but he looks at you,

naked beneath him,

lips swollen with his kisses,

the shine of your own arousal peaking out from that space between your thighs,

and all he sees is the girl he read stories to.

the girl who swooned and awed over every cheesy line about a knight,

and all his knightly honour,

loving his lady in the way that's deemed right by the gods and the lords.

and aemond just can't bring himself to defile your honour,

not like this.

so even as you whine,

and moan,

and offer up your maidenhead on a platter of your unapologetic beauty,

the prince just continues to edge at both your own pleasures,

hips grinding back and forth,

lips tangling with your own,

voice whispering nos, and we can't do thats, and not yets.

"tomorrow," he promises, the spill of his pre-seed smearing along your pelvis with each stuttered thrust of his hardened cock against your soft skin, "i'm going to ask your father for your hand."

"but, how?" you sound so pretty, he can't help himself and lets his eye reopen, searing the haunting image of you naked and pliant beneath him into his mind's eye.. "your mother... she said you flew to offer your hand to one of the baratheon girls."

"what i promised lord baratheon was a targaryen prince, and i intend to keep that promise," he speaks with so much conviction, skipping over the events of his nephew, and his dagger, and his joyride in the sky. "daeron is a boy of sixteen, he can have her. but i, i will belong to you."

the will to leave you, maidenhead still intact, somehow finds its way into his heart

he doesn't fail to leave you sated, however,

his finger dancing along the pretty pearl that has you whining his name and losing your mind upon the mattress.

he keeps his word,

wakes not with the urgent need to discuss last night's war-inciting events with his mother

but with the burning desire to find your father and win his approval

he doesn't find him in his quarter of the keep.

or in the training yard.

or in his seat at the small council.

what he does find is his fear stricken mother,

his stoic grandfather,

his giggling brother.

"aemond, what have you done?"

he doesn't answer

they already know what he done,

the whole realm likely knows, his half-sister too.

so he asks what he really cares about,

asks where your father is.

"he's gone," his mother answers.

"after he heard about your business with lucerys," aegon continues. "the traitor's taken his family to dragonstone and bent the knee to our bastard-bearing cunt of a sister."

so yeah that's what i'm thinking about.

anyway, goodnight <33

[mactavishsgfandwife]

Last Night’s Mistake - Simon "Ghost" Riley

the morning after not proofread nothing nsfw, angsty, with a little comfort at the end female reader

A slight headache is all that remains from last night - confused, tired, achy, you slowly wake up. One by one, little sensations come to your attention. Your head hurts, your body feels warm, your hips still feel a little bit sore from where the uncomfortable skirt that you wore last night dug in. And you’re in bed, in a room, shady and quiet… with an empty space on the other side of the bed.

"Shit…" you groan, your voice a little sore from the night before. This isn’t your bed.

The floor is cool under your feet as you shakily stand up - a soreness growing in your legs. In the bedroom mirror, you inspect yourself. Though the girl staring back at you is the same girl you were last night, her hair is messed up and her face is a little flushed, her makeup having almost entirely worn off except for a hint of sparkle on her eyelids. Not to mention, she’s in nothing but her panties.

Whoever’s room this is, their wardrobe is pretty bare, the only civilian clothes being a few different t-shirts and vests, two dark-coloured hoodies, a pair of sweatpants, a pair of jeans, and some smart clothes for formal occasions. Not the cutest selection, but it would do, so you grabbed the black Led Zeppelin t-shirt and pulled it on.

Sat on his bed, you fixed your hair in the mirror as you tried to remember who he was. Little memories came back from the night before, unclear, like a half-forgotten dream. Drinks. A silver ring on his finger - not a wedding ring, you noted. You were in the car, with his rough hand on your thigh, playing with the hem of that god-awful skirt. Doors clicking, sheets ruffling, short blonde hair… oh my God, you’d fucked Simon Riley.

"Shit," you curse your idiocy, for the second time this morning.

You’ve wanted Simon, you’ve always wanted Simon, but he’s kind of a dick and not the kind of person you’d seriously want to be with. Plus, he’s a little bit older than you and not the kind of man who has girlfriends. He barely even has friends.

Finding a spare toothbrush in his bathroom, you brush your teeth, and clean yourself up with some water and his men’s face cream for lack of a moisturiser, not being able to completely remove the sparkle and shadow of eyeliner from around your eyes. But you know you can’t distract yourself for too long from facing last night’s mistake. Simon.

He’s sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea, in a pair of those plaid pyjama bottoms and a black tshirt that you’re pretty sure is exactly the same as three others you just saw in his wardrobe. He doesn’t make any effort to acknowledge you, focused on some work on his laptop. Maybe the same pit of regret over last night is sitting inside his stomach, maybe he doesn’t want to acknowledge you for fear that things won’t work out - after all, a regrettable one night stand is much more bearable than a rejection. But maybe he just doesn’t care, and you figure that’s more likely.

"Morning," you speak softly, a little taken aback by his lack of interest. It just feels so empty, and part of you is just begging him to show some emotion and put an end to this weird, uncomfortable limbo.

Of course, he doesn’t do that. He looks up at you nonchalantly, and nods, as if to say "morning. see you."

Something about that reaction hurts - even if he sees this as something mutually regrettable, the way that he dismisses your existence feels the the ultimate rejection. It’s not the sex, you figure, the sex was great. At least, that’s what the shaky aching of your legs and the marking on your neck is telling you. Maybe it was just you. And in those few seconds that you stare at each other blankly, not knowing what to add to fill the silence, all the exhaustion from last night and the discomfort of this morning hits you at once and all you want to do is cry.

"I should go," your voice falters a little, ashamed, as you head back into his bedroom to fetch the stuff you’d thrown on the floor beside his bed just last night. For a moment, before closing the door behind you, you wait for any sign of a reaction from the man on the sofa. Nothing. You close the door just as your breath starts to get shaky.

For some unclear reason, you can’t seem to get going right away. So you sit on his bed, in his shirt, staring down at the terrible skirt and the shirt you’d worn with it, thrown over your favourite bag and the same shoes you wear every time you go out because you only own two pairs of shoes. You’re so ridiculous, all teary over Simon - you knew this would happen, you knew a man like that would only use you and then make you cry. You curse him, the alcohol, the terrible skirt… but mostly, yourself. He was just a crush, something stupid and unobtainable, something no girl in her right mind would actually go near. Yet here you were.

Shivering from his weirdly cold house, you slowly pull off his tshirt, the fabric brushing against your bare back as it comes off.

"You can keep the shirt, love," a gruff voice says, "looks better on you than it does in me." A chuckle comes from behind you as you jump at the sudden intrusion, and there he is, in all his… whatever he is. Simon. He’s behind you, on the bed, with an large hand reaching out to play with the end of your hair.

"Oh…" he sighs as one of your little teardrops falls on his wrist, "you alright?"

Little teardrops keep falling, and your best efforts to keep it together are starting to fall through. It feels silly, but all the exhaustion and the rejection is too much for you, despite your best efforts to deny it.

"M’fine…" you mumble, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

"You’re not fine, you’re crying," he chuckles softly, with a hint of empathy behind the gruff tone of his voice. Something about that, about him, hurts your heart as you let out a shaky sob.

Instinctively, his strong arm wraps around your waist and pulls you in to his chest. His hands are surprisingly warm, and they cup your puffy cheeks with tender care, a rough thumb wiping away your pretty tears.

"M’sorry, darling…" he holds your face close to his, and gently leans in for a kiss. You don’t have any energy in you to resist, but you don’t really want to. Si doesn’t feel like a mistake anymore. He feels like comfort.

hope you enjoyed! that was a long one for me :3

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || You Get Kidnapped [Mafia Edition]

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

Fem!Reader

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence against reader, mentions blood and kidnapping, mentions of controlling behaviour and toxic tendencies

CHAN:

The rival gang's first mistake was thinking that you weren't going to leave a trail for Chan to find you, leaving your hair here and there, even making your fingers bleed so you could leave your DNA behind. The rival gang's second mistake was underestimating Chan,

"He won't hurt us, he's gone soft ever since he got with her." One of them chuckled loudly as they both stared at you, their backs to the door which was their third mistake and you looked at them.

"Something to say, princess?" One of them asked as you tilted your head at him and smirked a little against the gag that was in your mouth.

"You looking awfully happy for someone-" The first kidnapper couldn't finish his sentence before his cold body hit the ground making the other one jump and reach for his gun.

"I wouldn't," Chan warned him, snapping his fingers as four different men rushed over to your side undid the bindings around your wrists and removed the gag. You stretched a little in the seat before sighing in relief,

"Thanks for that," You smiled standing up and rushing over to your husband, You knew that Chan would stop at nothing to get you back safe so you had no worries when the men had locked you up in some old warehouse.

"I found your clues baby, smart girl," He winks, kissing your cheek before he turns his attention back to the man in front of you who was now shaking like a leaf.

"I was just doing what I was told! He said you wouldn't hurt us," He was cowering as Chan looked at his men and nodded his head in silence. In seconds your kidnapper was bound and gagged the same way you had been and Chan smirked to himself.

"Let's go home,"

"We're just going to leave him here?" You quizzed, glancing at the man who was wriggling around on the seat,

"Let him die slowly," Chan nodded, wrapping his arm around your waist and walking you out of the building. In his eyes, anyone who even thought of hurting you deserved a slow and painful death.

MINHO:

From the moment Minho had seen the note on your pillowcase he'd stopped at nothing to find you, he'd stayed up for what must have been two nights in a row before his body finally forced him to get some rest.

"He shows at last!" Asher cried out when Minho walked into his office to see you sitting in the giant office chair waiting for him. Your face was busted up pretty badly and Minho's blood began to boil, he should have found you sooner he should have done more to get here quicker.

"It took you long enough, poor Yn here was beginning to think you forgot about her. Isn't that right, doll?" As Asher moved his hand toward you, you flinched causing Minho to pull out his gun and cock it back.

"Oft, he's playing the role of the big bad wolf." Asher chuckled snarkily before grabbing you by the back of your neck and standing you up, your legs shaking as you stared at Minho with pleading eyes.

"Do you want to say goodbye to your little girlfriend? Or shall I just kill her in front of you without a goodbye?" Asher tilted his head to the side and you refused to look at your husband anymore, just wanting for this to be over with.

"Six days she's been waiting to be rescued, she's probably begging to be put out of her misery," The gun Asher was holding cocked and placed at the back of your head but he forced your head up to look at Minho, tears rolled down your cheeks silently.

"Bubba..." He whispered at you and your heart jumped, you knew what the code word meant but you tried not to make it known as you looked away from him. The codeword meant that there was a chance of you getting out of this if you were fast enough, you'd trained for months with Minho and his men.

"She can't even look at you, what a shame." Asher laughed throwing you roughly against the desk, This was your chance you threw your arms back knocking the gun to the other side of the office before Minho shot a warning shot into Asher's shoulder. You scrambled away from him and hid behind your husband who wrapped one arm around your waist and kissed the top of your head.

"Do you want him tortured or killed right away?" He directed the question down at you but never looked away from Asher who was grunting while holding his shoulder.

"Kill him, he isn't worth our time or energy." You grumbled before the shot rang out. You clutched onto Minho the second you could and begged him never to let go of you again.

CHANGBIN:

"You're going to regret all of this," You spat out to the two men in your living room, your body felt as though it was aching everywhere and you weren't sure the pain was ever going to stop.

"And who's going to make us regret this? You?" They began laughing at one another before you smirked, spitting blood out onto the floor as you shook your head. It was clear that they had no idea who you were or whose house they were in and you sort of loved that for them,

"Changbin will be back any minute, I'm surprised you even go in actually. Usually, Zach does a much better job of manning the gates," You hissed a little as you shifted uncomfortably in the chair you were strapped to, your eyes glancing at the door as it opened to reveal Zach standing there.

"I normally do, but when my two friends wanted to come inside I couldn't say no." Your heart sank as you thought about your own guard being the cause of all your pain for the last three hours. How long was he just going to let them keep hitting you?

"Change of plans tonight," He told them as you stared at him, your eyes tearing up a little as you realised not only had he betrayed you but also everyone else inside the home.

"Changbin pulled up in the drive, you'll need to take her through the garage while I keep him distracted," Your eyes shot to the window and then at the two men who were now standing either side of you, hooking their arms around yours and dragging you toward the garage door.

"LET ME GO!" You screamed, kicking your feet around but they continued to walk you inside while Changbin stopped at the door to talk to Zach. This was your chance, you quickly threw your head into the side of one of the men before kneeing the other one in the groyne and making a run for the emergency alarm, as soon as it sounded you ran through the doorway.

"CHANGBIN! DON'T TRUST HIM!" You screamed out before a shot rang out, you stopped on the porch to see Zach on the floor, blood dripping from his forehead.

"You okay?" Changbin panicked seeing the state of you, his hands holding onto your face gently as you nodded your head,

"I am now you're home. There's two more in the garage." You snuggled into his chest as he rubbed your lower back, promising never to let anything happen to you again,

HYUNJIN:

"You know, this is kind of all your fault," Bailey told Hyunjin as he stared up at you, your heart thumping rapidly as you looked at your husband.

"If you hadn't been late to your little date, Yn here wouldn't have a bomb strapped to her chest," You licked your lips slowly as you tried to calm yourself down a little, your eyes finding Hyunjins as he tried to calculate a way out of this.

"You should never leave a lady waiting Hyunjin." Bailey was one of Hyunjin's oldest rivals, he'd been after Hyunjin's position in the mafia for a long time and this was his final way of trying to get it. He either took Hyunjin down or he died trying, even if it meant taking you with him.

"Let her go, she's not involved in any of this." Hyunjin pleaded, putting his gun down on the ground and showing that he was unarmed.

"Oh, but she is. Because if she's alive after I kill you, all your men obey her." You flinched a little as you felt Bailey grab your shoulder roughly,

"I had to think of a way you weren't going to be able to stop me, you don't have a bomb-disabling team so this felt like the best bet," Bailey finally let go of you before making his way down to Hyunjin and smirking,

"You had about 40 seconds for a goodbye," A beep sounded on your chest before Bailey ran from the building, and within a matter of seconds Hyunjin was beside you and looking at the clock.

"Hyunjin, go." You begged as he shook his head at you, picking up some scissors and looking at the colours. All of them were the colours that Bailey associated himself with except for one,

"I got this," He promised you, kissing your forehead

"Close your eyes, baby, I love you," He smiled weakly as you nodded at him,

"I love you too," You choked out, shutting your eyes as you waited for something, anything but nothing ever happened. You glanced down at the clock as it stopped moving,

"Take it off slowly and then we run," He told you as you carefully slid out of the chained-up bomb, running for the door just in case it went off. As soon as you were free you saw Bailey in cuffs, Hyunjin grabbed you and checked you over before looking at the cops and nodding for them to take him away.

JISUNG:

Your heart thumped rapidly as you looked up at Jisung, your hands clutching onto your stomach as he pressed down on it roughly. He was looking considerably pale now that you watched him,

"Jisung," You coughed out, a little blood falling from your mouth as he shook his head at you.

"No, don't. You need to save your strength," He told you as he looked around at the men in the room.

"GET A FUCKING AMBULANCE!" He barked out before you whined at him, there was already one on the way but he wasn't listening to anyone, not that you blamed him right now.

"Jisung, they know where your hideouts are, you need to go and protect everything," You knew you were dying, you could feel it with just how cold you were getting and how you could no longer feel the pain of your wound.

"I'm not leaving you." He sniffled a little as you reached your hand out to touch his cheek, blood smearing across his face but he didn't care.

"You have to." You whined out, looking over at some of his men who were already leaving to go and check on the hideouts that Jisung had spotted all over the city,

"No, I don't. No." He shook his head violently at you, there was no way he was just going to leave, not when you needed him the most. God, he was going to kill everyone that was involved in you being taken,

"Jisung, your men are going to die if you don't go."

"No...No! We still have so much to do, we have to make a family," He told you as he smiled, The two of you had been discussing having a baby for a while now and it was time he started putting his money where his mouth was.

"You need to make sure the boys take care of each other, and that they look after you." You reminded him as you licked your lips, trying to hold on for as long as you could.

"Stop saying goodbye!" He yelled out as the ambulance team walked in, they took over as they tried to patch you up,

"Don't say goodbye." He begged you as he tried to hold your hands but they were limp in his as you looked at him, gasping a little for air,

"Don't die on me, please don't die on me! Stay with me! Look at me...L-Look at me, I'm right here and you're going to be fine, oh god, please don't die on me...Please." He cried out, tears streaming down his cheeks as the paramedics shook their heads at him, his men dragging him away from you so that they could work on your wound.

[X]

"That beeping is annoying," You groaned, opening your eyes to see your husband in the chair beside your bed staring at you,

"It's better than you being dead though." He grumbled at you, leaning across and kissing the top of your head. The paramedics ended up being able to save you and after a four-hour-long surgery, you were on the mend properly from the stab wound.

"Did you catch them?" You asked him as he stared down at you.

"All dead. Except the one that stabbed you, figured I'd save him for you." He winks making you laugh before groaning at the pain.

"No laughing, got it." He chuckles before calling for the nurse to come in and check you over.

FELIX:

The second the double doors to the office burst open you knew who was there, you didn't need to be able to see for that. Ever since whoever took you, took you, they'd had you blindfolded with your hands bound behind your back. It was clear that they knew you knew how to fight since they didn't even give you a chance to fight back, choosing to sneak up when you were least expecting it and in a private car park.

"You're in trouble now," You sang out in a chipper mood before your chin was grabbed roughly and you felt the metal of a gun being pressed against your temple. It wasn't the first time your kidnappers had threatened you with a gun but you weren't going to show them fear, just like you hadn't done all day.

"We have your girl Felix! Now isn't the time to be playing games!" The man who was holding your face cried out and you fidgeted a little trying to get him to let go of you but he only tightened his grip making your jaw hurt more.

"Fucking let go of me," You hissed out, licking the man's hand and smirking as he grunted and pulled his hand away from you.

"She's a cocky little bitch, maybe we should just kill her." The man screamed out again,

"I wouldn't, I have men aiming guns at you from every inch of this place," Felix called out, watching you closely to make sure that you were okay. He'd been panicked all day going out of his mind trying to find you, Luckily for him, the men that took you hadn't been that good at covering their tracks.

"How about this?" The blindfold was suddenly ripped from your eyes and you blinked a little trying to get used to the sudden intake of light and your eyes instantly found Felix.

"Lix," You smiled warmly, looking at the man who took you and smirking a little. It was over for him.

"We let this one watch you bleed out before I slowly bleed her out too?" A knife was pulled from your kidnapper's pocket and Felix didn't even flinch, neither did you. Why did he think he could suddenly avoid all of the guns that were quite clearly aimed at him?

"Or..." He leant down toward you, the blade coming into contact with your skin as you let out a loud hiss,

"Don't touch her! Don't look at her, don't even BREATHE in her direction!" Felix screamed out before a shot rang out, The man dropped to the floor and Felix sprinted toward you, looking at your neck.

"He didn't cut deep... J- just a little cut," You hissed as Felix gently touched the small cut in your skin and you looked at him.

"You came for me." You breathed out in relief.

"Always." He whispered to you, kissing your forehead as his men worked around him to make sure the place was clear of anyone else.

SEUNGMIN:

As soon as Seungmin found you he'd been doing nothing but blame himself for everything that happened to you. Contemplating the what ifs and what could have been and it was torture to himself. He'd been on a rampage for days on end trying to find you until he finally tracked down the low-lives that thought they were ever going to be able to get away with what they'd tried to do. As soon as he came home to see you weren't waiting for him he knew there was something wrong, Then there were the phone calls demanding money and other things in exchange for you being brought back alive. All of which Seungmin was doing, whilst tracking them down until he found them in some dingy apartment in the rougher side of town. The sight of the place made him sick but what was worse was seeing you so visibly shaken up, you were terrified and it was enough for him to want to rip their heads off. Usually, he was on the calmer side of things but something snapped inside of him when he found out that you'd been taken and he was no longer the lenient man he was known to be.

"Boss, what shall we do with them?" Seungmin finally tore his eyes away from you and over at the two men who were now on their knees staring at you and Seungmin. The two of them were shaking and begging for their lives but no one was listening, not even when one of them wet themselves the second Seungmin burst through the door,

"Did they touch you?" Seungmin quizzed looking back at you as you looked up at him, it was obvious by the busted lip you were sporting that they'd hit you but it had only been once.

"When they took me," You mumbled a little, reaching out for Seungmin's hand desperate to feel his touch on you and for you to feel close to him once again. It had been four days trapped with the two idiots in front of you, no food and limited water and all you wanted was for your husband to hold onto you.

"Kill them. Slowly." Seugmin ordered, shrugging off his blazer before wrapping it around your shoulders and bringing you closer to him.

"Let's get you home," He whispered, wiping his thumb under your eye to get rid of the tears that were slowly escaping.

JEONGIN:

Jeongin was known for thinking rationally when it came to things in his world but the second you'd been taken it was like his rationality and humanity had gone out of the window someone had flicked a switch inside of him and he was going to stop at nothing in order to get you back. That was why there was a trail of bodies leading toward the men that had taken you, Jeongin was taking no apologies when it came to your safety, anyone that had been involved was a dead man - or woman - walking.

"You finally found us, it took you long enough." Jason cried out as you stared at Jeongin with tears in your eyes. Your arms were chained up while you were being held above the floor so your tip toes were just barely touching the floor and every inch of your body ached.

"What did you do to her?" Jeongin asked as he stepped closer to Jason, your eyes glancing at Jason's hands to see the gun he had waiting for your husband. For the last four days, you'd had to listen to him tell you how he was going to kill your husband, how he hated him and yet he hadn't taken the shot yet.

"Why?" Jason laughed obnoxiously and you stared at Jeongin, your throat too dry to get any kind of warning out that Jason was more dangerous than he seemed.

"So I know what to do to you when I get you back to my place," Jeongin growled out, there was a darkness in his eyes you'd never seen before and you weren't sure if it made you nervous or not.

"Well, we drugged her - of course, but that's what she gets for leaving her drink unattended." He laughed and you cringed a little remembering the day that he took you,

"Then we chained her up to the crane and just had some fun, no food and water will do a lot to a person." Jeongin refused to look at you right now, if he looked at you he would lose his concentration and right now he needed to keep Jason as distracted as he could.

"All of those people that choose to help you, they're all dead now." He announced casually smirking as Jason's eyes widened by a small fraction,

"No..." Jason would have heard long before now. He had people everywhere waiting for him, working for him, it was the plan to take over from Jeongin.

"Yes. A pile of bodies here and there and all because of you." Jeongin stared at Jason,

"You son of a bitch!" He screamed out, the gun turned toward you and you squeezed your eyes waiting for the impact but as the gun rang out you felt nothing,

"You're safe, I've got you," Jeongin called out as he lowered the crane, your arms falling around the back of his neck as you cried into his shoulder.

"I've got you, baby, shh." He cooed, soothing his hand over your back as he continued to cradle you in his arms, arranging a way for you to get home where he never had to let go of you.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi i @sw33tnight night @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy dy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin

[deadghosy]

𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐮!𝐬𝐥𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 + 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐲 𝐰/ 𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 & 𝐎𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐭.𝟑

[part 1] [part 2]

It’s shown a sunny day, birds are chirping, Tom sipping his daily coffee before hell breaks out. Apparently for this episode, the team will have two new recruits apparently. Y/N slides into the scene wrapping her arm around the tall riddle.

“Heyyy boss….” Y/N says with her usual smile. Tom shrugs off her arm and glances at her with slight irritation. “What do you want now Miss L/N?” Y/N awkwardly stood there and opened her mouth. “So I—" “no you won’t get a bonus.” Tom says interrupting her. Y/N dropped her jaw in disbelief and then pouts. “HEY! I wasn’t gonna ask that dick— *ahem* I mean Mr.Riddle…I heard we were getting new interns?”

Tom nods, sitting his mug down. Turning towards the female who is shorter than him, he leans down and looks directly into her eyes. Y/N gulps, backing up a little with heated cheeks.

“They should be coming soon…” Tom says, he then leaves a slight flustered [h/c] female in the break room who started to look behind her. “Damn….why the cold ones always hot.” She says groaning and leaving the break room.

The next frame shows a shiny black car pulls up to the parking lot. A blond male exits out first, and then another one comes out with brunette hair.

The next scene shows two neat men, one with blonde hair and one with brown hair. The blonde man has starry eyes and moles while the other has freckles scattered on his face and dark brown eyes. They stood in front of the camera to introduce themself.

“Hello I’m Ominis Gaunt, and I’m blind.” Ominis says, twirling his cane on his flat palm. The brunette male smirked looking at the camera.

“And im Sebastian Sallow, I’m not blind.” The camera cuts off as Ominis smacks the back of Sebastian’s head.

The scene shows Y/N holding a stapler as Lorenzo holds her back from throwing it at a certain brown haired male who flipped her off. He was also getting held back by his friend Theodore. Most of the cast was watching as Tom and Draco just stood there tired of this bullshit. Pansy was yelling “fight! Fight! Fight!” As Blaise just recorded it all.

Ominis and Sebastian terribly walked into the mist of a heated rivalry. Y/N thrown the stapler, aiming to hit Mattheo. Only for Ominis to block the way towards the Riddle brother. Sebastian quickly moved out of the way.

Ominis dodges the stapler thrown at him. Silence airs out the room as the camera pans from the blonde male and the others. Ominis’s quick reflex makes the rest of the crew drop their jaw except for Sebastian who was munching on peanuts.

“He’s blind.” Sebastian says bluntly. The rest of you look in disbelief at the brunette who shrugged and walked off frame.

Next scene shows you are talking to Sebastian as mattheo sips his mug slowly. Theodore stands by his friend with a raised brow. “You jealous mate?” Mattheo chokes on his drink, wiping the remaining liquid off his lips and sitting the cup down. “Are you crazy?! Me? Jealous of that punk?” Theodore nodded, “uh, yeah?” Mattheo glared at his dear friend. The camera focuses on you putting your hand on Sebastian’s arm. Mattheo immediately snapped his head at you two.

“….okay maybe I am.” He says, his hand clinching. Theodore looks at the camera, breaking the fourth wall as he looks at the reader reading this.

The scene shows Theodore alone as he stands in front of the camera, “okay is it bad I think mattheo and Sebastian are the same but different??” You then come out of nowhere, popping behind Theodore who flinched from your existence. “Yeah! Mattheo is street smart and Sebastian is like book smart.” You said smiling.

“…where did you even come from??” The tall Slytherin questioned you while you just smiled. “I came from my mom. Duhhhh.” Theodore rolled his eyes. “Alright then.”

“But yeah, it’s like that saying of same person, different fonts.” Theodore says calling it out as the camera turns to look at Mattheo who is eyeing you from the corner with Sebastian.

Theodore grabs the camera, making it face him again. “He’s an idiot for this little "I hate y/n act. When clearly he loves hers it’s pathetic….” The camera then cuts off to mattheo grabbing you from the other brunette who raised a brow and smirked.

A/N: hey! I did this on my own time and was bored. So let me know if you want more parts or want this in a series! Love ya, and don’t be a stranger <3

[sykoangels]

tw porn link

mentioning of a age gap (everyone is 18+)

a bit dubcon

the age gap between you and Logan is quite large but it’s quite nice. the maturity is something you noticed when you started fucking around with him. When you would have sex with people around your age it was never good. There was always something that wasn’t pleasurable it could be people couldn’t find the clit or even not being able to finish at all and just picking up the pieces after. But with Logan, it was different a literal complete 180 compared to everybody else she’s been with. Logan knew Y/N wasn’t getting treated right sexually he could see it in her eyes and how she walked especially around him. He saw the longing in her eyes, the unspoken desire for something more, something that would push her beyond the boundaries of her mundane sexual experiences. Their first encounter was electric. Y/N felt a spark as their eyes locked, and a subtle smirk played on Logan's lips as he recognized the raw hunger within her. This was also helpful for Logan in many ways. He was essentially training her to keep up with him well also fulfilling something inside of him. He was never the date younger or at all for that matter, yeah he would fuck around and do stuff with people, but he was never really the type to commit. The only reason why he committed to you is because putting past everything sexual he needed you mentally and emotionally and a bit sexually. You were like a drug to him a breath of fresh air. With this newfound relationship, Logan discovered you had a thing for breeding. Usually, he would act very animalistic during sex, and it turned you on him growling biting being rough was a part of the appeal, but Logan was always smart when he would fuck you constantly using a condom, even though you said you were on the pill. In his mind, he wasn’t ready for kids. He didn’t even like kids and he would be damned if you got pregnant, but in the back of his head, he wouldn’t mind you being pregnant or getting you pregnant.

One day you were riding him after he came home from a meeting you could see how stressed he was lighting one of his expensive Cuban cigars and mouth-harassing it like he did your clit that morning before work. You couldn’t help with staring down into his brown as you bounce on his cock, feeling it, hit your cervix, practically abusing it. Logan looked up at you while breathy grunts left his lips. “Get off…if you keep doing that I’m going cum and I don’t have a condom,” he says breathlessly looking up at Y/N. He almost looked pitiful, but this was one of his softer moments compared to other times which Y/N enjoyed slightly. Y/N eyes roll back as her walls pulse around Logan’s cock signaling she was close as well “It feels so good. I just want you to fill me up like the dirty whore I am. ” Y/N moans as she grips Logan’s muscular arms tightly digging her nails deep into them. Logan growled in annoyance and pleasure before holding Y/N's waist guiding her body on his cock. “ You want me to cream pie in you I didn’t know you were such a slut. This is why you like old men filling you up with cum making you a potential mother. Huh, tell me, sweetheart.” Logan hissed as he placed his thumb on her pink puffy clit rubbing in its circles. It was almost like a flash of light while cumming all over Logan’s cock But with it feeling the warm and full feeling of Logan’s cum filling up her hole and leaking out of her like some overfilled Twinkie. Y/N slumps down onto Logan’s chest enjoying the orgasmic glow as cum pools out of her. “ You’re just a cum filled slut, aren’t you darling?” Logan said kissing her forehead and holding her close to him feeling the warmth between both of them.

[storiesfromafan]

Spark - Benny x Reader

A/N: this isn't apart of the series I'm writing, just a stand alone one-shot. I just have a thing for writing meet cutes with Benny x Reader. Maybe it could be its own series.

I got this idea from another one-shot where the reader is in collage with Danny, but I can't seem to find it so I could link it. But when I do, I will add it.

This is the product of a late night, awake till after 1am finishing lol.

Warning: fluff, a little tooth rot.

Books were great friends. They can always stimulate your mind, telling you classic stories and take you on endless adventures. But they could not completely replace physical, flesh friends. So, while in college you had a handful of friends, ones that understood your love for books. One of those friends being Danny, a student studying photography.

Danny is nice, smart and looking at the world through his camera lens, his photos showing you how he sees the world around you both. Because of this you were close, like siblings. And that was why you decided to visit him. He had told you how he was hanging out with a motorcycle group called The Vandals, he was talking about how he was photographing them for the summer and listening to their stories. You found it all so fascinating.

So, here you were, sitting in a large park in the heart of the town waiting on Danny to meet up with you. You had decided to grab lunch and catch up, before later on hitting up the bar The Vandals hung out at. While waiting you had your nose in a copy of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. A controversial novel for its time, even to today, but a guilty pleasure of yours. Who doesn’t love an anti-hero who gets revenge on the people that kept him from his love?

The loud roar of an approaching motorbike caught your attention, lifting your gaze you saw the bike pull up to the curb a few meters from where you sat. Upon the bike sat a man with greasy blonde hair, with matching stubble, dressed in black boots, dirty white jeans and a Vandals jacket. Sitting there with an idling bike, the man looked behind him before back to what was in front of him. He then turned his gaze in your direction, letting you see his gorgeous face.

You felt your breath get stuck in your chest when his eyes landed on you. How could this good-looking man have you in a choke hold? When he realized you were staring at him, a small smile formed on his full lips. Only making you melt more. He really should be illegal, for he could kill with just his looks alone.

You were unsure how long this moment between you and this Vandal lasted. But the arrival of another bike was what broke it. Hearing Danny’s voice brought you back to reality, turning from the man who had captured you, you saw Danny talking to another Vandal. You pieced together that Danny must have gotten a ride from him. You marked the page of your book before putting it away as Danny turned to see you. He smiled brightly as he called your name.

You returned his smile before getting up and hugging him when he made his way to you. Holding you at arm’s length Danny looked you over. Commenting how different you looked, to which you rolled your eyes, saying it hadn’t been that long since you’d seen each other.

A suggestive whistle caught both your attention, turning you saw both bikies watching you. The one who Danny rode with was the one to whistle.

“Is that your girlfriend!?” Called the man with a laugh.

You blushed stepping away from Danny, who didn’t reply to the guy, embarrassed like yourself. You looked to the guy you had shared a look with, only to see a sour look upon his face. Did he think Danny was your boyfriend?

Both riders readied themselves to leave, revving the engine of their bikes. A few words were shared between them before they looked to you both again.

“Have fun kids! See you later!” Called the second guy.

Both men pulled away and proceeded to ride on, leaving you and your friend alone. Danny looked to you and you both laughed in embarrassment.

“Sorry about Cal” apologized Danny. “He’s a wild card”.

You smile nodding your head. “It’s alright. Shall we get lunch?”

Smiling, Danny nodded. You both turned and began to head for a near by diner. The place was cute and cozy. Taking to a booth in the corner you and Danny looked over the menu. When a waitress came over, you both relayed your orders before being left alone. So began your catch up. You filled Danny in about going home and how your parents were doing. You talked about visiting bookshops and finding some first editions. Then how you had been looking forward to this trip, and seeing how his photography of The Vandals was going.

Danny talked about The Vandals and what he had been up to with him. Telling you about their picnics, how they found themselves scrapping with other biker groups only for them to become friends, bonding over the little things. You found it all so fascinating. Some of the stories would be something you could see being in a book you’d read. You even suggested they would make for good stories for a book or books. Which Danny laughed at.

You both ate and talked, the comfortable atmosphere between you both something you missed. After you’d eaten and the table cleared, Danny finally pulled out some of his developed photographs, which excited you. You smiled at the candid photos of various men from The group, along with some portraits.

“You really have a way of capturing people” you commented moving from one photo to another.

Then you saw it, saw him. The man who first pulled up to the curb. In the photo he was standing at a pool table, hands planted on the edge of the table, head hanging down. You looked over his arms, the tattoos you could see while he wore a black muscle t-shirt. The photo oozed sex appeal. You felt your cheeks heat up from the thoughts and feelings this picture brought up.

“That’s Benny. One of my favorite photos” Danny smiled, having watched your reaction to the photo.

You nodded. “Yes, I think mine too”.

You both laughed, moving on to the next photo and so on. All the while that photo of Benny staying front and center in your mind. You hoped the guy would be at the bar later. The banter between you both flowed, it always had with you both. Danny was easy to talk to, and the passion he has for his art is something you could always listen too. Just like when you talk about books, or saying you want to write your own novel. Danny always encouraging you to do it, write a novel that would one day become a classic read. A book that will be mentioned or remembered fifty years from now. Which always made you laugh.

But to write a novel one must have a creative mind, or experiences that could be put to paper. You may have some creativity but lack any experiences worth writing about. You voiced this to Danny, who told you to go out there and have those experiences. You laughed at him, but he was serious.

“What experiences could I have, huh?” You questioned when leaving the diner. It was late afternoon, so you both began to walk to the bar.

Danny shrugged. “Anything! You’re going to a bikie bar, here’s an opportunity!”

You shook your head but couldn’t deny he had a point. This was a good place to start. You told Danny you would do it; you’d observe the bar and see if you could find a story there. He smiled brightly and was glad you were going to start trying to write something.

After leisurely strolling to the bar, it was late afternoon when you both arrived. There were a dozen bikes in front of the place. But as the night went on, Danny said it would be livelier. Stepping up to the doors, Danny opened the door and gestured for you to enter, which you did. Upon entering you were greeted by the smell of smoke and the sound of music coming for a joke box. Danny led you through the room before taking to a table off to the side. You gracefully took a seat, making sure the skirt of your dress wouldn’t wrinkle from sitting down.

Danny sat across from you, pointing out who was in the bar and supplying their names. Not that you would remember them all so easily. By the pool table you saw Benny and Cal. Benny was having a game with another guy, while Cal watched on and talked with another.

“There’s Cal and Benny” Danny comment, having followed your gaze. “Along with Corky, the guy playing Benny, and Wahoo”.

You laughed softly. “Why are there so many funny names?”

Danny smiled. “They are funny, but I’m not sure. They’re just their nicknames”.

You turned your eyes back to the pool game, eyes lingering on Benny. Watching how he would look over the table when it was his turn, thinking about what shot to take. Watching how he would lean over the table, hands holding the pool stick and resting it on. How his arms moved when he took the shot. Benny’s eyes watching the white ball hitting its target and sinking it. A tiny grin crossing his sinful lips with rejoice.

Feeling eyes on him, Benny stepped back from the pool table, eyes looking to the almost empty bar. Finally, he spots the person, it was you. The little bookworm from the park. The same girl who was close to Danny. That left a bad taste in his mouth, you being Danny’s girl. He had nothing against the kid, but you were just a cute little thing that Benny couldn’t take his eyes off. You looked sweet and innocent, the opposite of him. He felt a spark between you as you stared at each other, but he couldn’t do the wrong thing by Danny. He is a good guy.

Seeing that you were distracted, possibly by a muse for your writing, Danny took the moment to slip away to get you both some drinks. When he voiced this was when you turned back to your friend, giving him a nod and smile. When you turned back, Benny was taking his next shot, which he was successful in sinking another ball. The next shot wasn’t so lucky, but no doubt setting something up. You noted that Benny had handed his stick to Cal before heading to the bar. Standing next to Danny, he and Benny exchanged some words before clapping Danny on the back, grabbing a beer and head back to the pool table.

When your friend returned you questioned him and he just smiled, saying it was nothing. But you didn’t buy it, yet let it go. Taking the offered bottle of pop, you sat back and took a sip. Soon more Vandals piled in as the evening came, then the night. Over time you had met more of the Vandals, talking and laughing, having a good time. Yet every so often you could feel yourself being watched, and when you looked back to the pool table, it was always Benny watching you.

He couldn’t help himself. Benny couldn’t stop watching you, making sure you were alright. Even more so when different men joined you and Danny. Benny knew what most of the guys were like, especially when they’ve been drinking. But from the smiles and laughs, he knew you were alright. Yet he wanted your focus on him, for him to be the one to make you smile and laugh.

After some time it was just you and Danny, you mused over the different Vandals that had joined you and their stories. Even if they weren’t that refined, they had their own charms. Danny agreed with you, before asking if you wanted another drink. You nodded and just like that, you were on your own. Which didn’t bother you that much. You turned your gaze back to the pool table to watch Benny, but he was gone. You frowned, not sure where he’d gone.

Suddenly Danny’s seat was grabbed and turned around, a body falling into it, arms resting on the back of the chair. “Looking for me Angel?” Came a gravelly voice.

You turned to the person, about to make a comment of no. But upon seeing Benny, you sat there quietly. Now up close you could see his eyes were a baby blue, that sparkled with amusement. And fully focused on you.

A bright smile graced his lips. “I’m Benny”.

You sat there like a fool, mouth opening and closing before you finally registered what was going on. “Oh, I’m (Y/N)”.

You could kick yourself at how foolish you must look and sound. But this man had left you speechless. From his looks to that voice, you were in trouble. But he was the perfect muse for your writing. The words you could use to describe him, no doubt that would sell books. Imagine if you used one of Danny’s photos, just to really get the point across to the reader.

“That’s a pretty name” Benny replied continuing to grin. He was a charmer.

“T-thank you” you stuttered.

Not once did Benny take his eyes off you, nor did you take yours off him. That spark between you both in full force. Silently communicating with each other. From this man’s gaze and smile, you could tell he was interested in you. Which in turn made you feel shy. You fidgeted in your seat, trying to remain calm.

That was when Danny came back with your pop and two beers. Handing one to Benny, who never took his eyes off you, and took a sip from the bottle. You gulped at how good he made sipping a beer look. Was he actually real? Or was this all in your head?

Danny looked between you both before chuckling to himself, gathering his bag and beer, he decided to leave you both alone. Not that either of you noticed when he left. Shakily you took a sip of your pop, not once looking away from Benny. He was enjoying this. Enjoying that he was your main focus, and no one else.

Putting down the bottle you felt a little less shy. “Can I ask, what did you and Danny talk about at the bar earlier?” But then felt silly to have asked, taking the bottle and having another sip out of embarrassment.

Benny chuckled, a delightful sound to your ears. “Nothin’ much. Just asked if you were his girl” – you choked on your drink – “he assured me you weren’t” he winked at you.

You coughed softly, hand over your mouth.

“You alright Angel? Do I need to come over and pat you on the back?”

You shook your head, which Benny laughed at. He thought you were so adorable. Getting your cough and self under control, you put the bottle on the table and left it there for the time being.

“You good?” Benny asked after a moment.

You nodded. “Y-yes”.

His smile returned. “Good. Couldn’t have you choking on your drink”.

Your stomach flipped at his smile and words. You felt yourself sinking further under his spell. And if those baby blues kept staring into your soul, you would whole heartedly give yourself over to him.

“Say, you wouldn’t want to go for a ride, would ya?” Benny suddenly asked sitting up, arms still resting on the back of the chair.

You blinked a few times at his words. “Ah, well...I don’t know...”

Benny raised his hands. “You can say no if you want, won’t hurt my feelings Angel” he winked once more.

Your heart skipped a beat. You didn’t want to say no to the beautiful man before you. But you were scared to get on the back of a bike. Not just because of the thoughts of crashing. But because of how close you would be to Benny. Yet the thought of being close to him was so appealing, so thrilling.

“I’m wearing a dress, that isn’t ideal...” you mused, not outright refusing him.

“Is that all?” Benny questioned with a chuckle. “I can work something out Angel. So, we going for a ride?”

Experiences, that was what you and Danny had discussed. Here one was presenting itself to you. Accompanied by the ideal muse. Time to throw caution to the wind.

“Sure” you replied with a soft smile.

Benny beamed at your words. He stood from his chair, moving around the table to stand beside you with his hand out. You looked to his face and then his hand, before back to his face. His eyes told you; you could trust him. He’d look after you. So, you placed your hand in his and he helped you from your seat.

Benny led you through the crowd of people, the whole time never letting go of your hand. He feared if he let go you would run away, and he didn’t want that. Numerous Vandals in passing made comments or cheered their brother on, having seen the interaction between you both for a while.

Exiting the bar, Benny held open the door for you, which you smiled at him for. Words hard to form and voice. Still holding your hand, Benny led you across the street and to his bike. Only then did he let go of your hand while he swung his leg over the bike, taking to seating himself for a moment. Like any other time, Benny started his bike, the beast roaring to life. He then proceeded to lift the kickstand before holding out his hand. You stood there looking at him unsure what to do.

“Come on Angel, I’ll hold your hand while you get on” Benny stated calmly, trying not to spook you.

Snapping out of it, you placed a hand in his, enjoying the feel of his rough, calloused hand against your soft skin. Next you did your best to gracefully swing your leg over the bike, which you kind of succeeded at. Once sitting behind Benny, he instructed on how to tuck your dress under your legs.

“Don’t want to flash anyone, or else I will have to make them forget” he commented, making you blush.

Benny then instructed you would have to hold on, when you questioned how, he moved his hands back and brought your hands around his waist, resting them against his firm stomach, which was more abs. Your blush deepened at the touch to his clothes stomach. Again, he repeated for you to hold on tightly, and that he wouldn’t go too fast for your first time. No doubt you were bright red, did that man not get the doubt meaning of what he said? A soft chuckle told you he did, but he said nothing after that.

Benny pulled away from the curb, heading down the street from the bar and heading for the highway. His initial take of had you grasping his t-shirt, and squeezing him, with eyes closed. He smiled to himself at your reaction, enjoying it oh so much. The way you grasped his shirt, how your nails scratched against the fabric, it did something to him. A pleasant something.

Slowly Benny gained speed before finally hitting the high way. You could feel the wind caress your face and moved your hair. Not to mention the sound of the wind was soothing, numbing the thoughts.

“Open your eyes Angel” Benny softly commandeered. “You’ll want to see this”.

Reluctantly you opened your eyes, before you was an open road, street laps lining it. And when you pass it, you can see clearly before darkness closing in again, till the next lamp. You released the breath you had been holding, amazing at what you were seeing and feeling. If this was what it was like to ride, you could get use to it.

You smiled leaning your forehead against Benny's back before laughing. “This is amazing!”

Now it was Benny’s turn to laugh. Your reaction was cute, but he got it. Riding was freedom. Riding was getting to feel and hear the wind. You wouldn’t get this experience in a car. Taking one of his hand, hand placed it over your own, which still clutched his t-shirt.

His leather glove was cool against your skin, or was that from the wind? You didn’t know, but you liked the gesture from the male before you. It was that moment you knew you had definitely found your muse. And from this experience, and possibly more to come, you would have a story worth writing down. A possible love story with a man that was ridiculous good looking and appealing. And you couldn’t wait for it all.

^___^

[chaniceroses]

Bad Boys Ride or Die (Armando x Reader) Part TWELVE

The ride over to McGrath’s took forever. He was a smart person to live away from the city and to be surrounded by nothing but woods and water. Which means that more than likely, he had cameras and heavy men guarding the area. Eventually you and the rest of the group made it near the abandoned building that he was hiding in. 

You could see McGrath panicking while walking back and forth, he was talking to someone and kept his eyes focused on one thing.

“What do you think is going on?”Armando asked, staying low to the ground.

You squinted your eyes to see if you could see anything else but nothing.

“I don’t know, he’s hella upset though. I can tell you that.”, Marcus responded, looking out of his binoculars. You shifted your eyes over to the water to notice a seaplane approaching the sand.

“Look!”, you whispered, pointing your finger over to the plane. You watched as everyone turned their attention to the plane and then back to McGrath to see him now walking outside onto the dock.

“We have to go!”, you continued, now standing up and pulling your gun out.

“What the hell are you doing? We have to do this responsibly if we all want to live.”, Rita whispered, signaling you to crotch back down.

“I don’t give a fuck Rita.”, you snapped back, checking your gun. You were getting sick of Rita and her bullshit.

“You should “give a fuck”, I’m your boss which means I have the last say.”, she replied, now standing up and facing you.

“ Excuse me but…last time I checked, you weren’t the one doing all of the work with proving Howard’s innocence. We were…”

“Rita, she has a point. We need to go now.”, Mike added, looking up at you and Rita. You watched as everyone stood up and turned to face the both of you.

“No, I will not allow my team to be killed, just because this is personal for you.”, she responded, standing in front of you. You would think because she was close to Howard, that this would be personal for her also. 

“You and these fucking rules.”, Armando added, walking over to you and softly pulling you behind him.

You turned your head to look at Mike to see him nodding his head towards the building, signaling you to go. You understood what he was saying so you walked from around Armando and started running towards the beach. You kept your attention on McGrath watching him walk down the long dock while holding on to Mike’s wife.

Once you reached the dock, you hid behind the big tin that was next to it. Trying to count the number of people that were coming out of the place.

“More than fifteen…”, you whispered, peeking around to see Callie crying. You could feel the adrenaline begin to rush throughout your body, that’s when you knew to go. So you sprinted out from behind the tin and started shooting, and ducking. Allowing the bullets to hit each person that you were aiming at. In response, you were being shot at. Bullets hitting the sand, dock, and different objects that were surrounding the place.

You watched as McGrath and some of his men ran inside while the rest stayed outside to fight. McGrath, running? Well that was a shocker. You turned to see Mike, Marcus, Kelly and Armando climbing onto the docks and shooting each person that were in their line of vision. They must’ve been following behind you, when you had removed yourself from cocky Rita to run towards the building.

“MIKE HE’S INSIDE!!”You yelled, sprinting up the twisted dock. That’s when you noticed a man running towards your direction. He was muscular, big and tall with a long black beard. You aimed your gun at him to shoot him until you realized that you were out of bullets.

“Shit…”, you whispered, throwing the gun and watching as the guy sprinted towards you at full speed.

You decided to match his energy and run towards him. Once you were close enough, you threw yourself onto the ground and punched him in the balls several times. Hoping that it would cause him to lean over in pain. You watched as he slowly turned around to look at you. Before you could throw another hit, you felt someone aggressively pull you back, making you fly onto the ground.

“Fuck…”, you mumbled, grabbing your hip. You looked up to see Armando climbing on top of the guy’s shoulder to then throw down his elbows violently until the guy’s body went limp. You watched as the guy laid there and then looked back at Armando to see him shoot the guy in the head to make sure that he was dead.

“I didn’t mean to throw you down like that baby!”, he yelled, running over to you and picking you up off the ground. He frantically began to check your face and body, turning you around to make sure that you weren’t hurt.

“I’m okay Armando.”, you smiled, creating space between the two of you. You couldn’t help but to be in awe of how he was treating you. You watched as he smiled back in response, then raised his arms out to you to allow you to lead the way. So you did.

ARMANDO POV

I followed her, allowing her to lead the way inside. Marcus and Mike had already killed those who had met us on the dock so I figured all we had to do was walk in and trap McGrath to get Callie and Mike’s wife. Until we started hearing gunshots, we ducked and hid behind a big stack of wood boxes that were blocking different doorways.

“I’m going to go after McGrath, that should be where Mike is.”, she informed, pulling out a gun from the back of her pants and taking off the safety lever. 

“I’ll try to get rid of the rest of these people.”, I responded looking at her. For a moment as we hid behind the boxes, it felt that it was just the both of us in the room. No violence, no voices, no one else. Just us. I watched as her eyes shifted from looking at me to looking behind me.  Before I could respond, y/n pulled my head into her chest and started shooting at whoever it was. I covered my ears, allowing her to finish what she was doing. Once she finished, she stood up and reached out her hand to help me up.

Grabbing it, I got up and turned to see two guys laying on the ground unresponsive. That was hot.

“I can come with you y/n, let me help you.”, I suggested, snatching the gun that was wrapped around my waistline. I watched as she just looked at me and then towards the direction that McGrath went. She had a look of uncertainty written across her face, which told me that she was against it. I didn’t need a response to know what she was going to say so I grabbed her face and gently kissed her on her lips, then on her forehead and then ran towards the shooting that was happening between Dorn and Kelly with McGrath’s men. 

Y/N POV

You watched as Armando ran off towards the sounds of guns going off after kissing you. Was that his way of maybe saying goodbye or expressing what he was going to say earlier. You shook your head to allow your thoughts to leave it and then ran after McGrath. The hallway was long and filled with windows that showed the ocean view. As you ran, you took a peek out the window and noticed something shiny hiding behind the bushes on the beach. You stopped to stare at it when suddenly, the window glasses around you started breaking. They were shooting at you. You started sprinting, trying to reach the end of the hallway before the bullets reached you. Each step that you took, it felt that the bullets were getting closer and closer.

You started noticing how close you were getting to the door at the end of the hallway so the only thing that was running through your head was to jump. Jump at the perfect time so that the bullets wouldn’t catch up to you and leave holes throughout your whole body. So you jumped, allowing your body to slam onto the ground. Until you felt a sharp pain on the side of your leg. Quickly sitting up against the wall  near the door, you dropped your gun and looked down to see an open gunshot wound in your leg.

“Ugh…fuck!”, you whimpered, holding on to your leg. You looked down the hallway to see if anyone was coming before putting your attention back to your leg. Your hands were shaking and you could feel tears building up in your eyes.

You knew that this operation wasn’t going to be easy but you were shocked at the fact that you were shot so quickly. That has never happened. You could hear loud groans and hard steps at the entrance of the hallway so you shifted your body and turned to see Armando and Callie standing there while looking at you.

“Are you shot?!”, Armando yelled, letting go of Callie’s hand and running towards you.

“Go back Armando!”, you screamed back, pointing towards Callie.

“No I’m not, you’re shot! I can’t—” “Fuck…Armando!”, you interrupted, pulling out your gun and pointing it at him. You watched as he stopped in his tracks, now standing in the middle of the hallway. He had a surprised look on his face. Not being able to grasp the fact that you were aiming a gun at him.

“Armando, go back or I'll kill you. I don’t want to but I'd rather have to shoot you and take your life myself then have someone else take it and you be dead because of me so go back and get her out of here, the both of you!”, you continued, aiming your gun at him. You didn’t want to put him at risk, you’re already shot and you guys had just gotten here. You watched as he took a step at you, testing your word. So you aimed your gun at the ground next to his foot, then shot it and then aimed it back at him.

“I don’t miss.”, you cried, using your other arm to leave your body off of the ground. You watched as worryness began to be written across his whole face. He kept looking back at you and then at Callie. You looked at him and noticed bruises and cuts across his face but you had to ignore it, ignore him. So you turned your back towards him and left out of the door. You were praying to yourself, hoping that he understood why you just did that. You wouldn’t dare hurt him however you just  wanted him gone and to be safe and you knew that you threatening him and leaving would let him know that you were serious.

Walking out the door, you were met by a flight of stairs that you didn’t see and ended up falling down it. Each step slapping you in the face as you went down. You laid there on the ground after the fall to catch your breath. Wondering how in the hell you didn’t see the stairs, when you noticed the glare in the bushes before getting shot at. Slowly lifting your body off the ground, you stood up to see two figures out in the distance. Squinting your eyes to adjust to the view, that’s when you realized it was McGrath, Christene, Marcus and Mike

You grabbed your gun that was on the ground and began to run. Ignoring the pain that’s running up and down your leg and the sweat that was slowly burning your eyes. Maybe it was the fact that you saw McGrath and how badly you wanted to see him dead or that you wanted all of this to be over so that you could have a regular life with Armando. You weren’t sure, all you knew is that he wasn’t surrounded, which means that you and Mike would have a chance to tear him into pieces. So, you allowed your mind to take control over your body as you ran, not allowing anything to stop you.

ARMANDO POV

“I need you to listen to me! I’m not here to hurt you, trust me!”, I yelled, firmly holding onto Callie’s shoulders. There was fear in her eyes, as if I was some monster. I can understand why, with me killing her grandfather however I had no choice. I was protecting my mother and what we had built. I let go of her shoulders and grabbed her hand, pulling her to force her to follow me. I wanted to quickly take her to safety so that I could come back and find y/n. I know that her pulling a gun on me meant absolutely nothing. She just wants me to be safe but what kind of man would I be, to allow my woman to be in danger while I run to a reliable and protected area? A man that’s a bitch, that’s what kind of man.

I must’ve gotten lost into my thoughts because suddenly I could hear Callie scream. Before I could respond, I felt a sharp object dug into the top of my shoulders. 

“UGH!!!”...I screamed out in pain, pushing Callie away from the man that was holding the knife into my shoulders. I could feel my upper body go numb, and my breath slow down. A cold substance was now creeping its way down my chest and back which began to make my arm go weak. Turning to the man that stabbed me, I began  punching him in his throat and then kicked him in his knee. I watched as he fell to the ground letting go of the knife in my shoulder that he was once holding. Yanking it out, and stabbing him in his throat, I watched as the life that he once had now slipped away from him. My head is spinning, I feel as though I am seeing two of everything. Trying to get up, I could feel the strength that I once had now leave my body, making me fall onto my hands and knees.

“Get up!!”Callie cried, tugging on me and looking around. “Please! We have to go, c'mon!” 

I could feel her lift one of my arms up so that I could lean on her for support. I was tired, and helpless. A tingling sensation was hugging my chest and my mouth began to feel dry. I knew that Callie was trying to help me but I didn’t want her to carry all of my weight.

“I got it, I can—”

“No you don’t, now let’s go.”, she interrupted me while holding on to my arm. I knew that I was heavy and could hear her struggling to hold me up. So I shifted my  weight to the opposite side of my body to ensure that I wouldn’t cause any pain to her body. Each step that I took felt like I was stepping on a cloud and I could feel my breathing slowly becoming short. Time felt like it was coming to an end and becoming impatient with me, as if it wasn’t waiting for me anymore while death was slowly popping up in my mind. I had many things running through it  but the only thing that stood out to me the most was making sure that y/n is safe.

Y/N POV

You were standing next to Mike while intensely staring at the devil. He had a gun pointed towards Christine while his other hand held on to Marcus.

“Marcus how in the hell did he get you?!”, Mike annoyingly yelled, clutching his gun tighter than before. You were wondering the same thing.

“The man is fast Mike, I didn’t see him.”, he shrugged, throwing his hands up in defense.

You watched as Mike shook his head in disappointment and then turned his  attention back to McGrath.

“You're looking good ... .healthy.”, McGrath sarcastically laughed while looking at you and then down at the wound. 

“Shit…are you okay y/n?”Mike asked, looking down at your leg.

“No seriously, that bullet may have hit an artery…you need to go.”, Marcus added, pointing at your leg. 

“I’m…i’m fine okay…McGrath, let them go..they’re not who you want.”, you responded, keeping your gun aimed at him.

“I’m not going to give them away that easy y/n, you know that.”, he smiled, pushing the gun closer to Christine’s head. You could hear her silent sobs, they were extremely low and she kept her face hidden for you and Mike to see.

“Shoot her, him or him. It’s your choice.”, he continued, looking at Christine, then at Marcus and then at Mike.

You lowered your gun in confusion, what the hell does he mean? You were lost and you could see Mike looking at you however you ignored his stare.

“McGrath what the fuck do you mean? Just take me.”

“I’m not going to make it that easy for you baby. I told you that you had a decision to make, the only person that is missing is Armando.”, he explained, tightening his grip on Marcus.  

You widen your eyes, recalling the night McGrath was in your home. Decisions? You thought he meant it in a different way not having to kill the people that you mostly care about. You looked over to the ocean and watched as the waves caressed each other when Armando came across your mind. When you last saw him, he was coming to try and help you; however now, you don’t know what condition he may be in. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn't follow you.

You looked at Mike, then at Marcus, and then at Christine. Trying to choose which person to shoot, although your mind was willing, your body wasn’t. Your hands began to tremble, you knew that if you decided not to shoot one of them, that they would most likely die regardless. Raising your gun, you pointed it at Christine.

“HELL NO! SHOOT ME Y/N!”Mike demanded, putting his gun down and pointing at his chest.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP MIKE!”You responded, pointing at him.

You understood Mike with every emotion that he was feeling at this moment. You were pointing a gun at his wife who had been missing for a couple days. Christine was now sobbing and Marcus was talking to himself about forgiveness.

“Ten…”, McGrath whispered, straightening his posture.

“Y/N!”Mike yelled.

“Y/n just think about it…he’s testing you, he’s not being serious.”, Marcus laughed trying to diffuse the situation.

“Nine…”

You looked at Marcus and then pointed your gun at him. You watched as he looked at you in pure shockness. Making him throw his hands up in defeat.

“Wait a damn minute, don’t shoot me. Shoot Mike!”, he yelled, pointing at him.

“MARCUS!”Mike and Christine shouted in unison.

“Eight…”

“WHAT? He said to shoot him instead…oh, so all of sudden y’all don’t remember?”

You stood there and listened as he counted down. Tears of frustration were coming out of your eyes and you could feel anger running through your hands as you held on tight to the gun. You turned your gun back to Christine and stared at McGrath.

“Fascinating choice.”, McGrath smiled, keeping the gun on her head.

“Y/N?!”Mike cried, looking at you. He had his gun back up while pointing it at McGrath.

“Forgive me guys.”, you whispered, looking at Mike then at Marcus and then Christine, You watched as Christine held her head down to avoid eye-contact with you while Mike kept trying to convince you to shoot him.

You closed your eyes to allow yourself to take in the smell of the ocean. You knew that no matter who you decided to shoot, that someone would be mad no matter what. So, you decided to go ahead and take the shot. Turning to Marcus, you shot him in his shoulder and then several times in the chest, watching as he fell forward onto the ground. There was silence. You held your gun up and watched as Mike looked at you astonishingly. 

“Marcus….”Mike sobbed, turning his attention back to him. He wasn’t moving, not an inch. You looked at Mike hopping that he would catch on, however not a thought was happening in his eyes. 

McGrath was now looking at you and then down at Marcus suspiciously. You didn’t know what he was thinking but you knew that he was probably catching on.

“Check him.”, McGrath demanded, while looking at Mike.

“What?”, you asked, looking at him and then back at Mike.

“Check. Him. Or she dies, right now. Your choice.”

You watched as Mike looked down at Marcus as he lay lifeless in horror. You couldn’t imagine being in his place having to check if your bestfriend is dead. Instant chills went through your body. Mike began walking towards Marcus and then bent down and gave him a slight shake.

“He’s not responding…”, Mike sighed, shaking Marcus. There was no response.

“Turn him around.”

“Are you fucking serious?”Mike responded looking up at McGrath and then at you.

You watched as Mike’s lip quivered, while he was looking at Marcus. You could tell that he was debating on whether or not to flip him but he knew that he had no choice.

“Fuck…”, Mike whispered, using one of his hands to scratch his back. You watched as his hand slightly pointed at another gun that he had attached to his belt. Quickly glancing at it, you looked back at McGrath to notice that his attention was still on Marcus. You kept your gaze on Marcus and watched as Mike slowly turned him around. That was when you knew that was your que. You ran towards Mike and watched as Marcus pulled out a gun from under him and shot at McGrath's hand. Making him drop the gun that was once aimed at Christine’s head. Grabbing the gun that was latched onto Mike’s belt, you began shooting at McGrath while walking towards him. 

You turned to Mike to see him already looking at you, giving you the greenlight. Turning back around, you stooped down to his level so that you could look at him. He was cursing you out, saying every word in the book. However you didn’t care.

“Fuck you! Do you hear me, FUCK YOU!!”, McGrath yelled, leaning over. 

You held his head up to force him to look at you. Allowing your hand to caress his cheek, you watched as his eyes slowly changed from hate to calmness. Exactly how you wanted it to. You allowed your head to be on top of his and looked intensely into his eyes.

“Fuck you too, you dirty bitch.”, you whispered, removing your head off of his and shooting him between his eyes.

You watched as he fell back into the water, completely lifeless. He was dead. McGrath, the man who's tried to kill you several times, was dead. The man who would have you changing identities all of the time, was dead. The man who killed the only little boy that you cared about, was finally dead. You stood up off of your knees and could feel the pain in your leg that you had been ignoring come back.

“Y/n…”, Marcus whispered.

You kept your focus on McGrath, for some odd reason…you didn’t feel any kind of relief. You took a step closer to his body and looked down at him. Observing as his hair moves with the water and as the blood slowly poured from the back of his head. You held up your gun and began shooting him again, holding on to the trigger to make sure that every bullet that was in the gun would come out.

“Y/N!”, Marcus yelled, now getting up off the ground. He walked over to you and gently grabbed your shoulder. “He’s dead…..You’re okay.”, he whispered, now putting his hand on top of the gun that you were holding.

You turned to look at him and then at Mike and Christine. Finally, the breath that you were holding the entire time had finally been released. You handed Marcus the gun and then embraced him with a hug.

“I’m sorry that I shot you Marcus.”, you apologized, patting him on the back.

You listened as he winced in pain, shit you had forgotten that you shot him in the shoulder.

“It’s okay y/n. You did what you had to do, I'm just happy I caught on to your plan and so did Mike.”, he laughed, turning to look at him.

You watched as Mike began to laugh, mimicking the tears that began to run down his face.

“Haha…at first I actually thought…I thought you killed him man.”, Mike sighed looking at you.

You turned to look at Marcus and then back at him. You could tell that Mike was actually being genuine and not joking around.

“Once I saw you kind of shift in the way you were standing, that’s when I knew that you had something underneath your sleeve.”, he continued, keeping his arms wrapped around Christine’s neck.

“Yeah, it was a tough decision but I'm glad that you guys caught on.”, you smiled, taking off your belt and wrapping it around your leg.

“We need to go back towards the truck and meet Armando.”, Mike commanded, turning around and pointing towards the trees.

“Shit..Armando!”, you yelled, looking at the group. “He has Callie and I told them to go towards safety but that was the last time I seen him and—-”

“Judy! Fuck we have to go find him, or she’s going to kill him y/n!”

“She doesn’t know we’re here Mike.”, you responded, looking at him confusingly.

“I’m sure she does y/n, she’s pretty good at hunting people down.”, Marcus sighed, patting you on the back. 

You shook your head in agreement and began to follow Mike and Marcus towards the woods. The pain in your leg was getting worse and you could feel yourself getting lightheaded however, you wanted to see Armando. To see that he was safe and okay.

ARMANDO POV

 “We have to…we have to stop here.” I stuttered, trying to keep up with Callie.

“No, we have to keep going just to—”

“STOP!” I yelled, walking over to one of the trees, to lean on. I watched as she stopped walking and turned to look at me, she had a worried look across her face. She began walking up to me and stared at me. I wasn’t sure what she was going to say, especially with her knowing who I am.

“Thank you, Armando. For protecting me.”, she whispered, while smiling at me. I responded with a smile and looked past her to see a mid-height white woman aiming a gun at me from a distance. It was Judy.

“Callie, move away!!”, she demanded, keeping her eyes on me.

I kept my eyes on her hoping that she wouldn’t pull the trigger. However with the kind of hatred that she has on her right now, the hope is very little. Callie turned around and stood in front of me. Basically, shielding me from the woman that was watching me like a hawk. Wow.

“Mom…put the gun down.”, she whispered, putting her hands up.

“Callie! Move! Listen to your mom, you don’t know who you’re trying to save.”

“No mom, you listen..He saved my life.”

I observed as Callie tried to convince her mom to spare me. Crazy world that we live in, I had killed her father and now she’s trying to kill me. Just for her own daughter to be against it. What comes around, comes back around I guess.

“JUDY!”Mike yelled, running towards me. 

“Thank you God.”, I thought to myself. Very odd for me to say but I was excited to see him, to see my dad. My dad? Has a good ring to it.  I watched as he pulled me up, allowing me to put all of my weight on him now this was more comfortable. Callie and Mike were in the middle of begging Judy to spare me when I noticed that y/n was nowhere to be found.

“Hey, where is she?” I asked, looking at Marcus. Observing as he responded with eyes, I followed where he was looking, to see y/n standing directly behind Judy. What the hell was she doing?

“Mom…he saved my life. Please, we need to help him.”

“Judy, listen to Callie, we can do this a different way.”

“Judy..put the gun down.”,  y/n demanded, while standing behind her. We watched as Judy’s face turned pale, her eyes shifted from Callie to Mike. 

“I’m not in the mood to kill anyone anymore however, if you kill him…I’ll kill you and then your husband. That way we can leave pretty Callie…parentless. And I know you wouldn’t want that because I don’t, so please listen to your daughter, he deserves a chance.”, y/n explained stepping from behind her while pointing at me. She was exhausted, and I could tell by the way she was trying to avoid putting weight on her leg that she was in pain.

“Judy…please.”, Mike whispered, putting his body in front of me. 

“Fuck…get out of my sight.”, she responded, throwing her gun down and throwing out her arms for Callie to embrace. I watched as Callie ran and hugged her. Y/n walked from behind her, picked up Judy’s gun and handed it to her.

“It was just a scare tactic Judy..I wouldn’t have dare.”, y/n sighed while looking at her.

“I know..”, she responded, looking up at her. I watched as they sent each other a small smile and then went back to their separate ways.

“Armando…you’re pale.”, y/n whispered, walking over to me.

“I know I was stabbed on the top of my…my shoulder.”

“We need to get him help, Mike, we need an ambulance!”, she panicked, turning her attention to Mike and then back at me. I hated seeing her like this, worried and scared. It felt good to have someone care about me the way she does, however, I don’t want it to be because I’m hurt.

I began to think about my life, all of the killings that I've done and always being on the run from people. I’m tired of that, I want to live a life of peace and y/n gives me peace. However, even though this is all over now, I'm still considered a fugitive. I’m still wanted and have chains on me even if I realistically have none on right now. I looked at Mike to see him looking at the small boat that was near us and then back at me.

“Help me.”, I sighed looking at Marcus and Mike. I watched as Marcus came over and helped Mike, with keeping my balance as I walked over to the boat. I knew that I’d need to use the majority of my energy on the water so using them will help conserve it.

“Armando..what? What are you doing?”, y/n asked, walking over to the boat. “You need help,you’ve been bleeding c’mon.”

“I have to go y/n, i’m sorry.”

“What do you mean, “you have to go”? We can help you, Armando. Mike can help us, right Mike?”, she continued, desperately looking at Mike for answers. Her eyes were slowly tearing up.

“Sweetheart…stop.”

“No, Armando! No…I’m not going to stop, are you fucking crazy? You’ve been bleeding for God knows how long and you have cuts across your chest. Please Mike….Marcus, help him.”, she cried now walking up to me.

I turned to look at Mike and Marcus to see them looking at y/n helplessly. I didn’t want to see her this way, but it was for the best. For the both of us.

“I mean…Armando we can—”

“No Marcus, don’t. Y/n this for the best, I know it is.”, I interrupted. I turned to look at Mike to see tears trying to form in his eyes. Once he realized it, he quickly turned around to avoid crying in front of me. Marcus walked up to the boat and looked at me, a million things went through his head but only four words came out of his mouth. “I love you nephew.”

I stood on the boat and shifted my glance towards y/n. She was looking at Mike hoping that he would speak up; however, there was no response.

“Come here, y/n.”, I sighed, looking at her. 

“Armando..why do you have to be difficult, huh? You’re pale, bleeding….fucking dying.”, she cried, walking over to me. She threw herself on to me and embraced me with a tight hug. Burying her head into my shoulder, although the pain was unbearable, the time that I was about to spend away from her was even worse.

I pulled her away from me and gently grabbed her face and softly kissed her lips. Her lips, y/n’s. One of a kind. 

“Listen…”, I whispered, taking off the small gold necklace that was around my neck and connecting it around y/n’s. I watched as she looked down at it and then at me. Her eyes were slightly pink and red from crying and I could see bruises on her face. I grabbed her hand and turned around so that the both of us could look out onto the body of water. I could hear sirens coming from the distance, so I knew that whatever I wanted to say…I needed to say it fast.

“I love you y/n…and I mean it. You completed me and you made me feel free inside and I want you to know that. I will be gone and I will miss you, even if it may be in death. No soul will ever compare to yours and if my time comes to an end today or whenever before I get to see you again.  I will wait for you on the other side…no matter how long it will be.”, I explained, trying to hold on to whatever strength that was still in my body.

“Oh Armando..”she wailed, covering her eyes with her other hand. I softly moved her hand and pointed towards the water.

“And even though you can’t swim…I’ll be in the waters, allowing you to feel my presence when you near it and to keep you safe if you decide to get in it y/n. So this isn’t a goodbye, it’s a see you later because time will forever be by our side, no matter what. I promise.”, I finished, lifting up my pinky finger. 

I watched as she shook her head in agreement and connected her finger with mind. I grabbed her to hug and to give her a kiss one more time, this time allowing my hand to caress her stomach.

“Armando…”, Marcus sniffled. “We will take care of her.” He had his lips sucked in and tears were slowly streaming down his face. 

“Yeah, I’ll make sure of that. You just make sure that you take care of yourself.” Mike added, walking over to me. He patted me gently on his chest and looked at me. Maybe trying to figure out something to say. I looked over to y/n to see her walking over to Marcus and then focused my gaze back at Mike.

“You know Mike you don’t have to—”

“I love you son.”Mike interrupted, putting his hand on my shoulder. I watched as he quickly switched to the other and then looked at me to make sure that I was okay. However, I was speechless. Hearing an “I love you” from my dad was something that I've been longing for, for years. Secretly praying to God that I would one day meet my father and have all of my unanswered questions answered. To have this cold heart and mindset that I have always had towards others,  be soft. Who knew that three special words coming from him would mean the world to me. 

I watched as he searched my eyes for answers while he nervously bit the inside of his cheek. I grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a hug. Instantly feeling healed. Instantly feeling the years of feeling worthless and not wanted by him, leave my body. I finally felt seen.

“I didn’t forget about my two promises, I will keep them.”, he whispered, patting me softly on his back.

I listened as he continued to talk to me about the past and everything that we discussed leading up to today. I understood every word and knew that he would keep it so I decided to pull away.

I watched as he turned around to walk towards Christine. His head was low and his body had defeat written all over it. I turned to look at Marcus and y/n to see Marcus looking at me while y/n head stayed buried into his chest. I looked back at Mike and said the words that the little boy in me couldn't wait to say.

“I love you too dad.”

Finally…. finally I was able to say it. Able to get those words off of my chest, to express how I've truly felt about him all this time. Even though anger, hatred and unforgiveness was blinding me. Crazy how when death knocks on the door, it brings people together.  He turned around and gave me a smile while tears ran down his cheeks.

Looking at everyone and seeing the way everyone was emotional, made me realize how important I actually was.  I sat down and grabbed the two paddles that were in the boat, using them to push myself out onto the water. After a couple pushes, I found myself further and further away from the group, allowing the water to do the work while I kept my eyes on y/n.. Although I was slowly drifting away from her, our spirits were reaching out to each other. As the boat became further away from them, I could feel my vision slowly become blurry and my heart begin to slow down. The world around me was gradually going silent and I didn’t want y/n to worry so I sat the paddle in the boat and raised my hand to wave so that she would know that I was okay.

Until I could feel my body go numb and the world around me go dark, my time had come to an end.

[pruneunfair]

The internalized sexism in remarried empress, (for an ask)

*this is going to be a long one so hold on tight*

It's no question that remarried empress is one of the most popular manhwas on webtoon and being so popular it holds a lot of influence, unfortunately, that influence promoted the internalized misogyny in not just the readers but in other works as well.

In the first chapter, Navier is presented as this baddass perfect woman, during her divorce trial she brings in a hot rebound who also happens to be another Emperor so she wont have to give up her life as empress, sounds pretty feminist right? Unfortunately that's only one of the few times we see anything related to feminism at all.

We are soon sent back a few months before the trial and right away, Naviers ladies in waiting are tearing another woman down and already believe this new woman is a threat to Navier because the Emperor Sovieshu is attracted to this newbie

We are shown the basic concept of how the narrative wants us to view these two characters. Navier is perfect empress who is being wronged by her husband and this unnamed woman who's only crime so far was existing is a wench and a homewreaker, the ladies imply it as some sort of extreme act of disrespect for having to bathe what they believe to be a slave, proceeding with sucking up to the lead by saying they only wash their hands to bathe her as they don't even wash themselves and even when they admit this mystery woman to be beautiful they backtrack to making sure Navier is supported. You might think that this is just friends supporting friends but it goes beyond on that later on.

Later on we are introduced to this mystery woman, Rashta, a former slave found by Sovieshu in the woods who is immediately portrayed as rude, stupid, and a crybaby

The reason she cries is because she was struck and referred to as "the slave" while she wasn't very polite it's clear Rashta isn't doing this on purpose, rather it is sheer ignorance and an unusually large optimism

now, a lot of people like to say that Rashta must've done something on purpose to get Laura imprisoned and that she knew what she was doing, therfore justifying the hatred for her existence. However, Laura hit Rashta for reaching out to Navier and calls her a wench in the process

Some fans use the excuse that she smirked after Laura got sentenced to 3 days imprisonment and yes while that is excessive for Laura, Rashta was a slave only a few days ago and she's been mistreated by nobles her entire life plus I don't think she's smart enough to pull off Hannibal levels of planning like that, I personally think her smirk here is meant to be more of a "that's what she gets for treating me like that." Then a "hee hee my evil plan worked!"

the rest of the comic goes the same way, Rashta is continuously portrayed as a whore who ruined Naviers life by turning her husband against her, and she's written to be hated as a pick me who won't know her place. Rashtas pretty much every part of those "other girls" in those not like other girls templates. She's girly, loves the attention, emotional, dainty, overly sweet but secretly only has ulterior motives, and in the novel, she acts extremely childish even referring to herself in 3rd person, even when she makes good points it's all intended for the reader to laugh and jeer at her.

Shes practically designed to be the pick me archetype for baddass mary sue fans to despise and she sadly only gets worse as time goes on, not just in morals and personality but also in her writting

And how is Navier perceived?

Shes endlessly perfect, everyone loves her including several different powerful men from all different countries. Even her cheating ass husband is given the cheapest redemption arc in the end just for being sorry that he cheated and realizing how much he wants her. All the characters your meant to view as good adore her and anyone who doesn't is written as the meanest bad guy on the planet worthy of death. While she isn't the worst character I've seen, the narrative tries so hard to make her more amazing that Navier looks worse as a result, such as not caring about slavery despite being described as kind and devoted to all her subjects. Ergi even says it straight to us that there will always be that invisible wall between her and the poor.

The characters we're supposed to see as good are:

Heinrey: A king who planned on going to war with Naviers country and only stopped when he fell in love with her at first sight, who also tortures and threatens anyone who even so much as inconveniences or talks shit about her all while he puts up an innocent front to appear non threatening (wonder who that sounds like)

Kaufman: A grand Duke who drugs other people with love potions which are essentially date-rape drugs and gets away with it once another woman takes the blame

Kosair: Naviers brother who violates Rashtas autonomy by slipping abortion drugs in her food and it's never talked about again.

Lebetti: One of Rashtas slave owners who still continues to harass Rashta and views anyone lower than her with contempt including her own nephew and so on

And who are the characters we are supposed to hate?

Besides Rashta and Sovieshu, the only other characters so far are Krista, the former queen of the west and her father

Ironically Krista is hated for the same reason readers supported Navier for: not wanting to replaced as queen, which isn't helped by Heinrey asserting that Navier is the one and only queen and anyone who objects will face serious consequences but they fix that by dumbing her down and blaming her for Kaufman drugging Heinrey. As for her dad, the old Duke. While he is the only man actively against Navier so far the only ways he has been punished is being told that Krista killed herself. (In the novel the old Duke does face serious consequences which involved him being murdered along with innocent people after his son attempted a hit on Navier)

But overall you get the message, most of the characters you are supposed to love are men and ladies with no personality, men who do atrocious shit yet we're supposed to look past it and conveniently the only man who is punished is an ugly bastard.

The ladies in waiting are the biggest contributors to the internalized misogyny, often they support it by insisting any new woman who shows up must be an evil whore, even Krista's ladies in waiting do this

Not like it matters though anyway since Navier basically wins most of those girls over on her side and they're never seen again

You see what I mean? Every other woman in this story has little to no character, they exist solely to push the FL up and punch down at any woman they don't like which usually consists of women that either dainty "other girls" or ironically women in a situation similar to Naviers and any woman who opposes Navier is affectly an idiot who gets girlbossed back into place. Meanwhile almost all of the men who commit absolutely horrible acts get away with it since they all essentially go awooga for Navier, with the only exception being less than conventionally attractive dudes like Krista's dad.

for fucks sake even Alan, one of Rashtas other masters who 🍇ed her, got her pregnant and participated in keeping her child away from her until she got successful is viewed as this sorrowful wittle baby who got taken advantage of by the evil Rashta and was "wrongfully" told to screw off by her. It took an episode where Alan was so unfathomably stupid to get readers to realize they shouldn't side with a rapist, and yes, while the narrative will try to push the idea that Rashta took advantage of him to raise her status and that she consented. News flash: a slave cannot consent to someone who owns them, it's like a student-teacher relationship.

Now the hypocrisy. Navier can do one thing and it's viewed as such a girlboss power move but when someone else like Rashta does something similar, it's embarrassing and pathetic. For example, Rashta is mocked by nobles mind you, for wearing an expensive and flashy wedding dress. Meanwhile Naviers wedding dress is literally weaved with thousand of gemstones

Hey, it's their words not mine.

Or how Rashta was considered evil for stealing Naviers spot as empress (even though Rashta didn't even want to be empress at first and Sovieshu gave her the offer, it's not like she held a gun to his head) but when Krista shows distress over being replaced as queen, the comments basically tell Krista to suck it up because Navier deserves it more. Everytime a man does something wrong in this story, the characters and even the readers trace it back to somehow being a woman's fault.

Readers are even encouraged to laugh at Rashta for not being able to learn as fast and eventually having a breakdown from the stress (not to mention she's also pregnant here so those hormones must be going wild)

yeah let's just blame a pregnant woman who wasn't educated in reading until a few months ago for not being able to be as smart or stoic as Navier and then crying from the stress.

finally, how this promotion of internalized misogyny affected other works. The Trashta nickname has become so popular that it is used everytime a woman who doesn't support the MC or even just inconveniences her is introduced, constantly the comments never shut up about the "new trashta." Even women who don't mean harm like Helena from kill the villainess was treated horribly because she's the "other woman" it erases any attempt at creativity in these stories and dumbs down any other woman who isn't constantly worshipping the FL as an evil bitch who needs to go.

Conclusion:The Remarried empress isn't the feminist power book with complex characters, maybe in season 1 but not anymore. Women who even think about being rude to Navier are punched down and killed if they don't change their mind while almost all the men are excused for their cruel actions because their hot guys with abs who only wanted to protect the one and only goddess Navier.

[dangermousie]

Top Dozen cdramas - 2024

This can obviously change but nothing truly exciting looks to air for the rest of the year so that's unlikely. My Top Dozen for the year are likely be set in stone.

It's a very idiosyncratic list which has two mini dramas, three moderns (!!! for me that's insane) and a lot of vibes dramas.

12 Hard to Find - all vibes all the times. A tragic romance that feels like a Gothic fairytale, this is what minidramas could be.

11 Love In the Desert - out of all the dramas on this list, this is the one that screams most "a good time." It's a romance and visual feast and webnovel madness and sexy good time and it made me cry.

10 Fortune Writer - a mini that is so smart and meta and fun about narratives and fate and villainy and fighting the story itself. So clever.

9 Derailment - a puzzle and a love story, telling most anything about it would be a spoiler but this story about a rich girl from 2025 who seemingly wakes up in a parallel universe in 2023 in body of a poor doppelganger, and the young man who was in love with the original has everything including addressing what it must feel to people to have a transmigrator possess a loved one.

8 Tender Light - the ending was just - it's the reason it's not n1. But the rest of this drama about an abused wife and an idealistic young man refusing to bow to societal pressure was just exquisite. It addresses morality and loneliness and complicity and sacrifice. Just incredible. Poetry in motion.

7 Will Love In Spring - a modern romance cdrama? In my list? Is the world ending? But seriously, this is such a gorgeous, realistic yet intense exploration of love and loss and trauma. It made me utterly reevaluate Li Xian to boot.

6 Snowfall - this is such a fever dream of a mood piece of a vampire romance, with seriously BDSM and gay vibes, as well as utterly incredible canon age gap ride or die OTP with Ouyang Nana bothering to act for the first time in her life and Vengo Gao embodying a gentleman vampire to perfection. Li Muge remains one of my favorite directors for a reason.

5 Heroes - the story of three very different men all consigned to the dustheap of history by changing times (the best swordsman in the era of guns, a former imperial guard of a regime about to be overthrown, a constable obedient to obsolete code who studied for imperial exams which got abolished) as the Qing dynasty is about to fall, this has fights, humor, three (!) separate love stories, philosophy and utter and complete heartbreak. The performances, the ideas, the filming and the writing all combine to make a bleak masterpiece with a 99% death rate (I am not kidding, only tertiaries make it out.) If I were in charge, it would get all the awards.

4 The Legend of Shen Li - the one truly mainstream idol costume hit on the list. It's an adult, passionate xianxia that reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin as deities and battle powerhouses in a love story that is so full of yearning and passion and intensity I feel like peeking through my fingers. This is everything xianxia romance tries to be and almost never is. This just might be my favorite xianxia of all time, tbh.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - a dark horse whose existence I didn't even know about before it aired. Visually stunning despite its tiny budget, this narrative about three sworn brothers in a kingdom and world in crisis, is pitch perfect in its humor, its intensity, its tragedy and its themes (also THREE!!!! amazing love stories despite not being a romance-centric show.) The battles, the friendships, the traumas, the darkness at the heart of it all!

2 Fangs of Fortune - the sole drama that can rival JoL2 for me (only caveat is it's still airing), this is visually the most jaw dropping drama I've ever seen, but it's also high fantasy the way it should be - making me feel so immersed that stopping feels like coming up from a deep dive or waking up from a hypervivid dream. It has impeccable performances (many from actors who I don't normally even like), and its plot and relationships and themes - fate and sacrifice and choice and found family bonds and trauma and so many other things - make it feel as if it was made just for me.

1 Joy of Life 2 - THE drama of 2024 for me. It's somehow better than the incredible first installment. It's funny, it's heartbreaking, it has insane performances, a narrative that hits all my personally favorite themes (a person trying to remain human in an inhuman world, righteousness not being weak), a large cast of fascinating characters who feel like they live in front of me (there are no throwaway roles in this), my favorite ship of the year (though it's not even a ship-centric show) and above all, Zhang Ruoyun's live wire of a performance as Fan Xian, arguably my favorite cdrama character of all time. It should not work yet it does. Brilliantly.