#slow to answer asks because of like. the horrors. yknow

[ginnungagay]

I think he deserves the shrinky drinks again I agree completely 😈 let him be littol again

extremely normal meeting with super normal coffee i'm sure everyone's fine

[theneighborhoodwatch]

something funny I noticed is that some of the commercials were selling adult products (tobacco, sleeping aid…) even though in-universe Welcome Home is a children’s show. I find it a bit odd since I can’t think of any real life examples of children’s media using their image to sell products like those.

hiiii let's pretend i'm not answering this 5 months later lol

iirc, the hooplah/tobacco ad Seems to have been a reference to this series of flintstones winston cigarette commercials - although in the flintstones' defense, it was not Necessarily considered children's programming around the time that these would have aired. i was going to write about how with this angle it feels very similar to how wally's interview is discussed in this ask (i.e. putting a character that Looks muppet-y/retro enough in a scenario designed to be reminiscent of those properties to demonstrate just how Unlike them they are, despite appearances) in addition to maybe demonstrating the slow and steady but Alarming approach of an appeal to advertisers taking priority over artistic integrity (especially given that hooplah products were also directly advertised to children, albeit not Actual cigarettes lol) yknow, like - start with something that is grounded enough in reality that any concerns can be be quickly brushed off with "eh, product of its time i guess" and then have the horror escalate in such a way that it makes you ask why you ever accepted the initial event(s) to begin with.

but i wonder about an alternative possibility... i wonder if it's a sign of welcome home - the show - yearning for some kind of maturity, but only being able to imitate either a child's frame of reference for what an adult is, or a corporation's. with all the comparisons people make between ronald dorelaine and jim henson in speculation, i wonder if dorelaine (or whoever was running the show) did want to eventually take welcome home in a more mature direction, but felt that he would never be able to do so, either because there was pressure to keep welcome home the same program it was when it first aired, Or because if welcome home Did eventually go down that more mature route, it would have only been allowed to grow into one specific Type of maturity that did not completely suit any of the characters involved. that no matter what he did it would have been just a little bit off for at least one neighbor although that's not to say things aren't still off Now lol. i wonder about a lot of things....

[snugglesquiggle]

i feel a lil bad asking this right when a lot of people are excited for hostile takeover, but for financial reasons, i might need to start putting some of my energy into more serious original projects again.

i'm not pausing HT — i don't think i could stop thinking about those lezbots if i tried — but being able to take breaks to work on other things tends to be good for my energy levels in general.

and honestly, when i first started, i thought HT itself was just going to be a quick break from those projects, and now i'm four months in and my plans keep growing >.>

anyway, the purpose of this post is that i wanted to gauge interest. i know most people follow me for murder drones stuff, but do any of the original stories i'm considering interest you?

more detailed pitches for each of these can be found under the cut. honesty is appreciated.

a note before i pitch them — when i write original fiction, i post it to my site and a site for original fiction called royalroad. i'll probably reserve my ao3 account for, yknow, fanfiction.

the plan is that while the stories will eventually be available publically, supporters to my patreon will get to read several chapters ahead of everyone else.

Aurora Moonrise

It is the nature of comets to dazzle and destroy. These eldritch spirits from beyond the stars grind kingdoms to dust with joyful ease. Only the power of a daughter of the moon can repel them. There are none left. Aurora knows she is different. Her father is a plain man, and her mother is a mystery. Her prismatic hair, her divergent mind, her inability to weave common enchantments — it must come from her mother's side. But her mother is gone and no one will say why or where or anything. It's enough to make her want to fight someone. And Aurora fights — people, animals, spirits, it doesn't matter. She doesn't want to hurt them, but it's thrilling. She'll just have to become a knight — knights get to fight things, right? And knights get answers to who their parents were. When a cursed storm leaves Aurora glowing in the light of the full moon, she awakens new powers she can't control. Powers unheard of, except in those old stories. But the word on the lips of churchmen is witchcraft — communion with unnatural spirits that spells doom. Will she defend humanity? Or is she a threat to it?

pitching this one is hard, because the most interesting thing about is a twist reveal at the end of the first arc. at first, you can see it's framed to suggest — and Aurora initially believes — her mother is a "daughter of the moon", but of course, she's actually a comet.

as the poll option suggests, her inhuman heritage makes urges her to fight and hinders her ability to understand the basics of human social interaction.

this would be a long story, lighter in tone than the others, and structured like a fantasy trilogy, about Aurora journeying across the land doing what she thinks heroes do. along the way, she picks up several party members with their own weird baggage. all of them girls, of course, and it gets very gay by the end — but it's slow going because, yknow, aurora doesn't understand romance, either.

i'm very excited about this project — just thinking about it is enough to get me bouncing. you can actually read a four chapter teaser right now, and i have over 70k words of notes past that, with the whole thing outlined start to finish.

Thy Wretched Mask

Everyone wants to peel off their skin and scream into the night. You're just supposed to keep a handle on that. Beca's trying. Now on the run, she'll just have to get it right in a new town. She's got nothing to her name save a pet raven, but a little pickpocketing will change that. Maybe a burglary or two. As long as she doesn't tear someone's flesh apart in broad daylight, she could keep things controlled. It's a lonely life, but friendship is only temptation. She should just keep to herself. So why does she listen when the woman from the shadows talks? They're making an offer that could lift her off the streets for good. The catch? She has to kill someone. Again. That's definitely too much temptation.

once again, the most interesting parts of this are a surprise. Beca isn't human; she's saddled predatory instincts she doesn't understand. the "fungal possession" comes into play several chapters in. it gets intense enough that i believe it's one of the few times i've teared up while writing something, and it's so far the first and only time i've written something that explores topics of plurality, which is pretty personal to us

i say HT is the first time i've written romance (and it is), but TWM came close, and would have gotten even closer if i continued it.

i've already written over 20k words of this (unpublished), but due to the writing exercise it began as, it requires substantial rewrites; i cringe when i try to reread it, and it honestly makes the prospect of returning a bit unexciting.

this would probably only about the length of a novel. (original projection was novella length, but i think i want to flesh it out more.)

of all of my potential projects, i think this one is probably the biggest thematic overlap with Hostile Takeover. but uh, it's dark enough to make that look like a sappy romance >.<

Running Out of Skin & Time

Tomorrow, a lord will be flayed alive. Once his flesh, freely given, is woven into a vast frame, enchanted scars will turn him into a living portal, a gift that could turn a blightstricken town into a bustling trade nexus. Apnoe has woken up beside the same dead girl three nights in a row. The lord's flaying is tomorrow — same as it was for the last three nights. She's the only one who's noticed. Assassins lurk in the flaying festival's crowds, and when they strike the lord dead, the whole town watches their dreams crumble, and then Apnoe wakes again as if from a dream. She knew this quite well; on the first night, she had killed him. Scarred flesh grants magic. How deep a wound did it take to make every living soul in the city relive the same day? It wasn't Apnoe's, and she doesn't know why only she remembers, but then again, most scar magic treats her differently. After all, she's dead half the time. Apnoe would kill to end this nightmare — but it seems the only way out is saving a man who'll die tomorrow anyway.

of all the options, this story is the least well flesh out (no pun intended), but it has a lot of potential. a "time loop" where a character relives the same day over and over is something not enough stories explore well

(if it means anything to you, the inspiration for this fic was literally just thinking "what if the Shibuya Incident was a time loop?")

i call this "superhero fantasy" because, while i havent figured out the tech level (it's industrial, but how modern?), the magic system gives everyone unique and specific abilities that are easiest to imagine as superpowers.

the time loop effect itself is the rube goldberg interaction of half a dozen powers, and part of the fic is puzzling out just how it works, as well as puzzling out how to overcome the various powers arrayed against the lord.

it would be a very complex, cerebral fic, all about power progression and fight scenes, but at its heart, i want it to be the story of two dead girls who love each other enough to unravel fate itself

A Chimerical Hope

Duskroot is destroyed. A minor stronghold, its enemies were cunning and coordinated and its allies didn't lift a hand. As vultures at a corpse, mercenaries hunt for survivors. Awelah escaped Duskroot. She lost everything. Vengeance drives her, but can she kill a angel beyond death? Ooliri's mission is to aid the refugees. He has to prove he belongs in a family of medical geniuses. But healing isn't enough — can he bring the dead back to life? Makuja seeks safety among the refugees. Death and servitude leaves her gaze empty. It's easy to be a follower, but is there a purpose worth living for? First, the three need answers. A grand scheme is unfolding, and Duskroot was only the first step.

unlike all of the others, this isn't an idea for a story, or a plan for a story, it is a story, one i've written 100k words for. you can read it here

it's set in an expansive setting i've spent literal years thinking about with giant insects empowered by virulent mutant bat blood and cold black corruption pouring out from a hole in the sky.

it's also, shamelessly, only avoids being called naruto fanfiction by dint of sheer weirdness

Aurora Moonrise may be the story i'm most excited about, but ACH is the one with the most ambition and purpose behind it. if i could only ever tell one story in my life, it'd probably make it ACH. it might be over a million words if i ever finish it

but i also think it's probably too weird to get very popular.

And so on

if you can't tell already, i have a LOT of story ideas. before i ever watched murder drones, would you believe i was literally already working on a story about killer lesbian robots on a inhospitable frozen planet haunted by a creeping cosmic horror?

and i'm kind of tempted to work on a story about modular mushroom creatures that live underground. or a fricken pokemon mystery dungeon self-insert i've already finished one chapter of.

and of course, i have several other stories i could continue working on.

but like, the stories i've listed are the ones i can honestly say i might work on right now. and, practically speaking, the stories that might genuinely takeoff, if i dare hope.

[lord-squiggletits]

For the author ask: #12 & #23?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Very early in this fandom, I actually thought that I was only ever going to write PNP interfacing and would never write sticky because it didn't make sense, or at least if I did, it'd just be in PWPs and nonserious stuff, never in a plot fic. 😂😂 Can you imagine? Honestly, a lot of the "tropes" I used to dislike (or not understand the appeal of) but now like are kinda kink-related, but that's a little off-topic so maybe...

Honestly, I'm struggling to think of tropes whether for Transformers specifically or for my writing in general. I don't know that I really have an answer for this one...

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

I have an "Adaptus-Pharma survives the finale of LL" AU as well as a "Pharma gets away with the plague at Delphi" AU that I've already talked about or mentioned on here, so I'll try to think of something else.

Thanks to some discussion on the Pharma server, I've felt some itches to write another survival/resource scarcity fic in the lane of For Once, Nothing is Burning. Technically, FONIB was meant to satisfy that survival fic itch, but I've always felt like I could do way more with it. For one, FONIB is on a very small scale of just two people, and for two, as grim as the situation is, I don't think the MegOP situation there is super dire (or maybe I just underestimate how scary it is since I'm the author and know what happens).

Would like to try it particularly in a wartime context where 90% of tactics revolve around logistics. In IDW1 we even have canonical plot events like Skorponok blowing up the last energon refinery on Cybertron (Monstrosity) and Cybertron being permanently destroyed by the war (Stormbringer), even Shockwave predicting an energon shortage pre-war, but canon never really does anything with that. We're told that there's resource shortages, but nothing ever is really shown with it.

Then again, I'm not sure I'll do anything along those lines any time soon considering an author I like is already doing a survival oriented Tarnma fic series (mind the tags) and another one I like is currently planning one. And idk, something about that particular kind of horror/angst (yknow cannibalism, starvation, dying of preventable illnesses, slow death of the species) is really depressing to me, so I think I'll just let those authors/friends take care of it. I have enough angst on my plate as is lmao.

Oh, I also have a Shattered Glass Pharma idea that's just sort of sitting in my head as a concept that exists and I haven't done anything with bc my interest in SG is very selective (Pay Unto Evil-verse) or I just haven't found an appealing way to spin all of IDW1 into a mirror universe (I read the SG series done by IDW-- not the older one by FunPub-- but didn't care for it much).

[tewwor]

Name / Alias : goose or ro or..... goosero ?

Are you over 18? : Yes / No

  – 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella/ All of the aforementioned

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No/ Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? : No / Yes ( discord! )

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) * a secret goose option — any.. and all of the above. highly dependent on muse and/or dynamics. could take a month or i could answer immediately

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes * goose examples — tend to stay away from themes such as cheating, pregnancy, in depth mentions of cancer

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? : nope!

  – 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only / Yes 

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes 

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively / Yes * goose excuse — slooooowly getting back into the swing of things after ( insert petrified trauma here ) & will only be with close mutuals or wicked chemistry between muses

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never * goose goose — really depends on the writer & characters! the more we yap ooc, the better chance i'm able to just... swang whoever over as a ship. on the flip side, sometimes characters just click yknow?

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure * goose honk — i will not lie! toxic ships aren't my fav! but some of the dumpster goblins i write do, unfortunately, fall into this category.. regardless, it'll take some plotting

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to polyamory shipping? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure * goose on the loose — certain characters are polyamorous, yes! always down to have them clown, but again plots are the way to start!

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes * goose's last words .... 99% no, 1% .. yes. there's only a handful of muses ( literally like 1 or 2 ) that i deem as exclusive simply because they Refuse to latch onto anyone else romantically

Does crack shipping ever happen? : Nope / Yes / depends!

tagged by: stolt tagging: YOU!!!!!! tag me though :3c

[yuukei-yikes]

ah! if you're taking questions about the fankids, can i ask about what's going on about the whole reincarnation thing? (how konoha finds out, if anyone else figures it out, even how he finds out about konoha (before he died) and the whole "daze" thing in the first place. poor kid's got a lot to deal with lol)

YIPPEEEEEEEEEE <- this yippe was written before i finished writing the reply. no yippee anymore. under the cut bc i also went crazy long with this and its embarrassing and erm erm erm erm. hehe. so much mental illness i basically wrote a fic under the cut

i've actually answered this before BUT im changing my answer. when i answered that ask konoha and ayame were only like 40 hours old so now it's simmered in my head better...hehehehheheheeh <- my evil laugh because im abt to give konoha 80 mental illnesses.

so i know i linked to the old answer but if u went to read it just forget abt everything i say in there

yknow how i talked abt like overprotective parents haruka&takane in my last ask LOL i actually had a big wall of text that i deleted while answering because it was rly sad and it got super long and i was like erm. maybe another time and THEN I GOT THIS ASK AND IM LIKE BOYYY WHY DID I DELETE THE TEXT but whatever i'll just go crazy now and even more bc i can dedicate the whole space to it HEHEHEHEHHEEH

konoha is nonverbal for years and since ayano works with kids i think she knows sign language teehee and when it became obvious konoha wasn't going to speak as a kid haruka&takane are like. well. let's do that ig. mekakushi dan learning sign language arc 💖 still is nonverbal most of the time i think. if i had thought of it beforehand i would've kept it for present time JUST IMAGINE THE DOODLES I MADE THE FIRST TIME HE'S SIGNING EVERYTHING IVE DECIDED MY NEXT GEN KONOHA IS NONVERBAL. HE DICHO. CASO CERRADO

ok they're overprotective not only bc they're disabled4disabled and terrified that konoha will one day wake up and be diagnosed with u got 6 years to live type of thing but also. konoha autism swag

and when konoha becomes a toddler shit goes down. then he starts hallucinating and having all these night terrors abt stuff like hibihiyo's timeloop and reviving azami over and over while she was living in the real world but also he's a kid so he doesn't really register all this horrifying stuff the same an adult would duh. and he kind of ALWAYS saw it he just can put it into words now ig. so he's not like AUUUUGHHH he's more like.. confused and scared. he's also not super communicative and i dont mean that bc he's nonverbal like even if he is, he still speaks through signs!! but he's still kind of quiet and slow and etc. like he IS konoha yknow?? he's just like playing and hanging out and suddenly just sees azami and he's like erm mom can u tell the lady in the corner to go away :(( and takane's like LOL. GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. he just gets diagnosis or derivations to other doctors and a child therapist etc and its not wrong bc HE IS completely human now and that whole thing IS translating into not only a human mind but like A TINY human mind. basically mental illness. so many mental illnesses.

HE'S STILL A RLY HAPPY KID...BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO GET THRU... it's not like he's permanently hallucinating or having night terrors every night either he leads a fairly normal life!!! and is a little kid and has fun and plays around and he's so so so sweet and rly happy!!! but. there's also The Horrors.

i dont think the dan would hide their powers. like yeah sure kano can turn into a cat yippeee!! if we lose a toy we go to hibiya he can find anything!! seto can ALWAYS guess what number we're thinking of it's so funny!! LIKE IT'D BE CUTE RATIO + PLAYING + HAVING FUN OK? PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH, OK!?!?!?!?

but the thing is that haruka saw everything konoha did like THEY WERE. YEAH. haruka & konoha is a THING so i think konoha can ask something and haruka's increasingly like HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT bc there is no way ANYONE could've told him that like the only person who would know is. WELLLLLL KONOHA? i think the big reveal can happen thru konoha being like hey. do u remember when we talked. in that big white room that never ended. that was rly weird lol like when did that happen. where even were we lol. also u were yelling thats so weird u never yell it was scary. lol!! and haruka's like Hehe(shaking) bc as soon as he realises He Cannot Stop realising

what the dan doesn't say is their story ofc bc it's rly sad and like why would they tell their kids abt that lol but. konoha starts asking Questions... Very Specific Questions.

ok sorry i havent even gotten to the way he finds out he's even awakening eyes LOL i think haruka realises btw. he realises before konoha realises. well konoha DOESNT realise. but he HAS been having this identity crisis and he's like damn i already transed my gender WHAT IS IT THIS TIME and he keeps asking these oddly specific questions that are freaking everybody out because he's not even really asking about their pasts?? he's just like mixing his old memories to his current memories and being like uncle shintaro remember when we fell off that high place together :3 and shintaro's like what the fuck are u talking about. like he doesn't describe it specifically enough or whoever he's talking to just assumes someone else told him abt something that happened back then.

like THATS HIS OTHER SELF so haruka isnt even doubting it, as soon as he realises HE DOESNT UNREALISE HE DOESN'T TRY TO CONVINCE HIMSELF OTHERWISE once he knows HE KNOWS. but konoha still doesn't know he's just kinda watching haruka having like a crisis or something.

from then on erm.... about how to manage it... well it'd be a complicated situation. haruka obviously tells takane and she's like ur fucking crazy lol im gonna go talk to him *leaves* *comes back* ok u were right. how the fuck did we even create this.

basically the dan knows before konoha does and it becomes a rly complicated subject about what to do about it because most of them are like the only way to rly make sure is to talk to konoha and they dont know if they wanna do that because they'd have to come clean about their horrible story and yknow konoha's just a kid!! but also if he IS konoha and everything he is seeing are those awful memories then he should know? for peace of mind? maybe? it's... a whole thing. like konoha isn't.... suffering. like obviously all his mental issues are awful but it's not like they will go away just by having context to some stuff. he's still a happy kid. the dan's like ok somehow haruka and ene created a freak of nature. it happens.

like what if they tell him and then all the memories become super clear. why would they wanna do that. most of the memories are total ass and awful. but also konoha's clearly confused and feels so lost. but maybe that's better than him being properly traumatized by remembering everything??

at the end of the day haruka and takane are the parents and they have to decide lollll man they'd be so torn about it. konoha probably throws a line like i just always feel like im forgetting something. THEY'D BREAK DOWN ON EACH OTHER SO BAD AND KONOHA'S LIKE WHYYYY ARE U GUYS CRYINGGGG!?!?! srry haruka and takane for putting u thru the horrors. i think it's funny to do that. congratulations on the marriage and the kid but also cry about it

erm. idk if or how they'd tell him. this is all i can come up with now. bye tune in for next chapter i fucking guess

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[walking-true-to-style]

Hi handsome! I want to see if you can just do all the prompts from asks youve reblogged the last 24 hours! Love you

Oh shit. Uh ok I’m gonna put them all under a cut

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?

Yes! I have my ears and my brow

raspberry: favorite flower?

Roses and orchids

lemon: do you have any pets? what are their names?

Yes! 3 cats. Juju, Mambo, and Ming

mango: what is your trademark?’

Probably my love for Queen, goth/punk aesthetic, and being a witch

passion fruit: how would you describe your style?

I’ve heard vampire glam and homeless chic? lmao

pineapple: sexual orientation?

I’m very fluid romantically, but I’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum

strawberry: favorite desserts?

Gelato, trimisu, and brownies

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

Yes, bass, guitar, uke, and I sing

grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

I’d love to visit Germany

banana: favorite horror movies?

I’m a fan of oldies like Night of the Living Dead, Nosferatu, and Dracula

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

Probably a melodrama honestly

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

I never feel confident lmao

cantaloupe: what are your parents’ names?

Not gonna answer that oof

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

BOTH. I literally just did both the last few days

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

Probably a hobgoblin

plum: favorite clothing brands?

I actually don’t know

coconut: favorite perfume?

I’m allergic to perfume actually. I love chai essential oils though!

lychee: satin or lace?

Lace af

blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

I’m really excited to be Negasonic tbh

apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

Definitely tumblr

kiwi: what’s something that fascinates you?

SPACE

watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

Yeah! So I offer music lessons/tarot readings but I also am going back to my old retail/receptionist job at the local music shop I took lessons at

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

Not sure honestly???

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

Definitely dusk/night

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?

Yeah, but I regulate

orange: do you have long eyelashes?

Ish?

apricot: what do you do when you’re sad?

I play ukulele or watch a feel-good movie

star fruit: favorite sea creature?

Harbor seals!

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?

Not really. A few sips here and there, but really no

ADORABLE ASKS

1. Have you met your soul mate?

It’s possible!

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?

Midnight Blue, still the same lmao

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?

I very often to like a gold/black smokey eye or a red/purple

4. Are you in love right now?

Very

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?

No. Attraction is, but love takes time

6. Are you an optimist, realist, opportunist, or pessimist?

I’m not entirely sure

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

Sooo I was 13 at a convention and straight up it was by accident because of the pocky game. My first ROMANTIC kiss was at the same con when I met my ex girlfriend

8. Do you own stickers, an stationary?

I DO!!!

9. What’s your aesthetic?

Goth witchy goblin???

10. Do you wear dresses, and skirts?

No because dysphoria mostly

11. What is your hair like?

Short, black, messy

12. Does time go by fast or slow to you?

It depends I guess?

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

I go to bed between 12 and 1 and if I get a full night I’ll get up around 8-9

14. Favorite sweet food?

Gelato

15. Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa?

Honestly that’s how I’d rank them because I like them all

16. Space, Ocean, City, or Forest?

Space/Forest

17. Favorite game as a child?

Animal Crossing: New Folk and Pokemon Diamond and Pearl

18. Comfort book?

Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Gaston Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?

Fairy

20. Do you fall in love easily?

Not really, but once I’m in I’m INNNN

21. Favorite word?

Susurrus or cacophony 

22. Describe your life in 3 words.

Doing my best

23. Do you dance? Slow dance?

I got a mean charleston. Slow dancing is often me dissolving into a giggly mess because intimacy makes me nervous and I’m a hella nervous giggler

24. Do you wear fake nails, or paint your nails?

Not usually, but I love black nail polish

25. Has anyone ever confessed to you?

Yeah, but Idk what they see in me lmao

26. Do you lie?

Sometimes

27. What makes you smile?

Joe Mazzello, Brian May’s instagram, my partner, music, my cats

28. Have you ever cried in a book or movie?

Only a few times, but yeah

29. When and who was your first crush?

When? Like 4th grade. He was like the super popular kid, and I was a literal outcast

30. Marriage or kids?

I don’t think about them often, but I doubt kids will ever happen

31. Are you superstitious?

Somewhat? Mostly with theatre

32. Who’s your 3 am thought?

My partner

33. Do you like candy? What’s your favorite candy?

Sometimes? I like crunches and kitkats

34. Favorite holiday?

Halloween! Or Purim 

35. Favorite season?

Fall

36. Cat or dog person?

I guess more cat, but I like both

37. Are you quiet or loud?

It kinda varies depending on people I’m around but usually quiet. More of a listener than a speaker yknow?

38. Favorite time period? (80′s, 60′s, etc.)

Victorian/70s/80s

39. Favorite fashion fad that went away?

Glam Rock 

40. The best dream/ worst nightmare you’ve ever had?

Best dream was being in a poly with my partner and Joe, worst nightmare I’d like not to disclose

41. Worst fear as a kid?

Was and will always be suffocation and enclosed spaces with a lotta people

44. Do you flirt?

Probably too much

45. What’s your style?

Answered sorta I guess

46. Do you blush?

When people compliment me, a lot. 

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?

All three sometimes?

48. Are you a crier? Do you smile?

I don’t cry a lot because I hate doing it in front of people. Of course I smile lmao

49. First love?

Lowkey it was Sasuke from Naruto. Sue me lmao

50. Last love?

My partner