#sleepless ramble

[playingplayer2]

I did not sleep I am very tired now but we have an electrician coming today and I absolutely cannot sleep because s t r e s s ⋋⁠✿⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠o⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠✿⁠⋌ which is unpleasant :(

[drac-kool-aid]

Seward's bone deep desire to run away from the asylum is not exactly surprising. There have been a lot of really good meta posts about how the return of Van Helsing into his life is the turning point where we see the caring and good side of him and how we can interpret his life as a student in Amersterdam as one of freedom and happiness. How he is part of the tragedy of manners, how strict social expectations allow Dracula to persist, and how they only exacerbate the unhappiness of the characters.

And I think the tragedy of Seward is that, really, he should not be the head of an asylum. It's a job that brings him no joy, and he's BAD at it. We can all recognize that if your first reaction to going back to work is "What if I just leave it all." That isn't a healthy work environment.

Now, in the modern day, the ability to pick and choose a work environment, even to leave one that is damaging your mental health, is a privilege. (IT SHOULDNT BE, but it is). And, although it is definitely reaching crisis levels in modern times, major changes in your career have almost always been difficult (unless you are really rich, or a particular brand of academic in the 17th-18th century, or both).

Seward can't just leave and become a surgeon. To give up the lofty position of "Head of an Asylum" would be unthinkable in the 1890s, especially for a reason like "Being here is basically turning me into the Joker." Like, how would Seward explain that in polite society? Would they accept that reasoning? Would they create salacious gossip if they didn't? Can Seward leave his position without losing a great amount of social capital?

Probably not.

His rise to head of an asylum, as many have pointed out, was meteoric, to say the least. It has afforded him status and respect and also left him deeply, deeply fucked up. And he can't leave!

I think his desperate attempts to quantify Renfield's behaviors into a new mental illness are telling in this regard. Maybe he is too used to having to meet some sort of expectation, and now he thinks this is the logical next step (It's NOT, but I digress). The feeling of having to keep performing above expectations, grasping at straws to do so, and subsequently burning oneself out (as well as others around you) and engaging in unethical practices? Idk. It sounds like something that would happen today. (tbh there are probably a ton of Sewards out there today, as there are still systemic problems within the mental health system that allow for the dehumanizing and abuse of patients).

It doesn't excuse his behavior. Nothing he does to Renfield is excusable, but I think it does explain some of the *why*. He isn't just cruel for cruelty's sake.

So, tldr I guess: I think reading Seward as someone who got stuck on a career path that he realized was unfufilling and that he ends up hating. Social conventions restrict him from just quitting without and a (socially acceptable) good reason to do so, and a lifetime of being regarded as one of the smartest people in the room means he can not allow himself to fail. Unfortunately, this also means he can not admit when his actions or his ideas are wrong when it comes to his job.

(But he can show that uncertainty FOR Lucy, and TO Arthur and Van Helsing, which speaks his trust and love for them)

[monsieurivoblan]

My honest opinion is that I think we should bring back Anji's dragon, Zetsu (I'll just assume that's what it's called), it was very cool as a thought and I firmly believe it would be very swag if we had it again

Also the fact that the Zessen can amplify sound and apparently do this for some reason (we never see this in action again)

[superloves4]

Gotta give it for Turgon’s arrival at the Nirnaeth and Maglor’s defeat of Ulfang because in any other story “Sudden ally shows up in time for battle” and “Brother defeats traitor to defend his sibling” would be chaging the tides of battle moments meanwhile Tolkien really went

[moopermoment]

agent penguinronpa really is the character of all time to be deadass.

they are the most important member of their own island and yet is just some fucking guy, no one knows a thing about them but everyone knows who they are, they are loved by almost everyone and they struggle to see it because of their lack of self worth, they have amnesia, they would do anything for anyone if they needed help whatsoever (a pizza delivery or a rescue mission, doesn’t matter to them), they’re audhd, they’ve managed to pull their bad bitch coworker with their neurodivergent swag, they’ve befriended their own arch nemesis’s crab son, they believe in the inherent goodness of people, they are INCREDIBLY socially anxious, they are the sappiest bitch in the universe, they care about their homeland and loved ones to the point of being possessive, they have an incredibly fucked up and unhealthy hero complex, they are incredibly autistic over their own job (to the point of defining their life and lack of memories), they’ve survived 3 actual danganronpa executions, they know junko enoshima, they have beef with a guy that called their fashion sense boring once in 2005, they’ve tried to break through 5 metal doors with a plastic surf board, they are an emotional crybaby yet so immensely brave, they’ve almost gotten themself killed multiple times, they had a mental breakdown in a VR simulation, they’ve tried placing a giant fuck off robot who is also the headmaster of their own killing under arrest, they are incredibly smart but also stupit sometimes, they’re a sassy little bitch but also a huge dork, they would sooner become a therapist than actually go to therapy themself, they are the narrative’s favourite, they are so immensely kind, they’ve stopped at least one apocalypse, they’ve tried to undoom their island only to lead it and their loved ones to a completely different doomed fate, they’ve met god, they’re even non-binary! reminder they look like this:

[villafordefeatedvillains]

dr sleepless with a sword. dr sleepless with two swords. dr sleepless with two swords that connect at the hilt to become scissors. you agree.

[ventique18]

I really like the idea of 🐉, being the unseelie prince he is, constantly teasing and bluffing to do depraved things to 🌸. Then it turns out 🌸 is into that shit and is practically begging him for it, so now he's gotta suck it up and do it even when he has zero experience and doesn't actually know what he's doing. He takes short breaks in the restroom to scream in his hands because he's so embarrassed lol.

He does completely keep his poise and unfounded devilish charisma when he steps out of his private zone though. Fake it til you make it.

[perplexedjokist]

harvey dent has a cat.

she's a tortie and her name is belladonna (named after the poison).

oswald may or may have not given him the cat because harvey is a lonely man and birds are too high maintenance for him

[to-thelakes]

I'm watching Moon Knight (again) to help me go to sleep and I've rewatched episode 1 so so many times on nights like tonight but I still absolutely adore all the little details.

Like, okay so when Steven wakes up in the Alps (I think that's where it is), Khonshu says "go to sleep, worm" and okay, first watch and without knowing the context of Jake existing, that makes sense. Khonshu doesn't like Steven which we learn more and more as the series goes on but then he says a few lines later "the idiot's in control" in that same scene in the Alps.

There is such a clear shift in attitude between 'go to sleep, worm' and 'The idiot's in control' and it's so obvious on a rewatch that Khonshu is talking to two different people with each line.

He's referring to Jake as 'worm' and he thinks that telling him to simply 'go back to sleep' would work because Jake is aware of the alters and their situation. Although from the brief glimpses we get of Jake, we know that he is an... interesting guy yet we can gather that he at least has some sort of alliance/respect/something going on with Khonshu. However, when he realises it's Steven, it's not hostility in the same way. It's more exasperated frustration. He's mad at Marc for letting Steven suddenly appear rather than being annoyed at Jake for making a random appearance. The way that the dialogue is written just exposes so much on a rewatch.

But going back to Jake/Khonshu even if they do have some respect, it's also pretty obvious that Khonshu does not want Jake around. I'd speculate that that's probably because if Marc loses time when he knows that he's not in London as Steven, that would create suspicion. Suspicion that Khonshu wouldn't want because that would put their avatar/God relationship at risk.

Though, I also suspect that Khonshu and Jake probably were working together but Marc never became aware because Jake worked at nights (maybe why Steven is so goddamn tired) or simply took over while Marc thought that Steven was in control.

I know that the Moon Knight portrayal is not the most accurate DiD portrayal but from my research, there's this whole idea of like different levels of awareness. Like the blackouts for Steven are because he initially has no awareness of the other alters. Then when Steven and Marc black-out, it's because neither of them are aware that there is a third alter aka Jake. Which means that Jake can do things for Khonshu while Marc believes that he is in London and neither Marc nor Steven would be aware.

I'm kind of just rambling about the show at this point but also, what I find really interesting every time I rewatch is the date thing. So, right, if Marc was the one that set-up the date why would he let Steven stand her up without saying anything to her? Marc isn't exactly the best guy when it comes to romance but he is incredibly protective over Steven because he wants to protect him from Khonshu. So, why in the world would he let the whole date rejection thing happen?

Because it wasn't Marc. It was Jake. Jake asked out Steven's colleague and that also makes sense why they went to a steak place. Jake doesn't give a f*ck about Steven's veganism while Marc absolutely would. Marc wants to protect Steven so he wouldn't make such a silly mistake.

But Jake would. Honestly, at this point, convinced that Jake just wanted to fuck with the Moonboys and Khonshu just played along.

I don't know.

I always find the dynamics of the Moonboys so interesting and I love how even when you rewatch it, there are new little discoveries that you can make. Like there was so much love, thought and attention put into this show?? It makes me SO SO happy.

This show honestly means the world to me and excuse the ramble/rant but I just love talking about my Moonboys and I never really get to speculate or discuss the show. I talk about it with my dad but being at uni means that I do not get to ramble at him as often. So, tumblr gets it instead.

But yeah, they're my (not very) astute observations about my beloved Moon Knight

[mothmonologue]

No more wearing glasses or contacts, I'm squinting and seeing blur just how God intended. Maybe then I will see the Truth

[sketchy-tour]

Oh why is my brain buzzing today???

Anyway hi. So I have this silly joke I make a lot of Dandy not knowing how to talk to pretty people. Like, they just got not a clue as to how to interact with someone pretty.

That shit so includes Wally. You bet the first time Wally spoke with Dandy, they genuinely didn't even realize he was talking to them. Assumed he must have been talking to someone else, cause why would someone as pretty as him be talking to someone like them??? At least that's how they see it.

Takes them ages to really understand that Wally LIKES their company.

[monsieurivoblan]

HSR Spoilers (?) / Aetherium Wars

I'm so very normal for this man like aha is really picking the prettiest and silliest people

[birb-catto]

Spoiler Warning: Meaning of the Name Yudrain

Yudrain roughly translates to "the beginning and the end," which can be interpreted as "forever."

Kishiar is an Alpha (first letter of the Greek alphabet; the beginning)

Yuder is an Omega (last letter of the Greek alphabet; the end)

If there is no Kishiar who gave Yuder a new name in the beginning, then there is no Yuder who harbors feelings for him and decides to save him in the end.

The beginning and the end.

Just like how two halves make a whole, how two ends of a thread make a circle, two people are needed to make the word "forever" meaningful.

Take what you will of this.

[the-blossica-fan]

Busy today, woah, what even is living

Either way, I was playing 2.2 and to be honest, it's not as bad as I expected. I must have lowered my standards after everyone else had their fair share of insulting it, but to me, it felt like home. I'm not Brazilian however, so that's not what I'm going to talk about.

I want to ramble a little bit about an Nala Hari, Anjo Nala, or better known as Ms. Kimberly. I'm not good at talking about representation or anything, but I kinda wanna talk about 2.0-2.1-2.2

Anjo Nala's character is a difficult one to catch. Back in 2.0, we viewed her as irredeemably evil, a demon that stood in the way of our loved characters, killed a fellow friend and almost killed a fan favorite. Back then, she was pure evil to us.

In 2.1, we view her as weak. She lives trembling, talking about eating, food and hunger, she looks weaker and doesn't possess even the slightest of threat to us, like a completely different character. This naturally surprises us, but then, she turns, and we view her again as evil.

In 2.2, she is redeemed, but we don't really know how or why. She simply tags along, saved Vertin's life and we even learn more about her as we go. Now, that's a thing to talk about after I finish her story. What I mean to say is:

She's been in three patches, is her build up properly made?

Not really.

In 2.0, she's an antagonist. For my taste, a boring one as well. We didn't know much of her back then, but the fact that we didn't fight the building threat but a new one didn't sit me right. I thought her appearance was sudden, but I could push past that.

In 2.1, I was glad to see her again, but without being such a boring antagonist and a more compelling, interesting character. I loved her appearance here, playing with that soft face of hers, the way she spoke and how genuine words and falsity could be hardly discerned in her words. To me, this paper suited her much more, I knew she wasn't that evil anyway.

My problem with her lies on her introduction trailer. Anjo Nala's trailer, Code Name: Kimberly.

For those who haven't played 2.0 and 2.1, the shocking reveal that Anjo Nala is Ms Kimberly is nothing. They didn't have that confusion or mixed feelings from her appearance at the beginning, they just see Anjo, they never met Kimberly.

Her introduction trailer is a mess too. If you didn't know who she was before, then her trailer is slightly confused. Are you supposed to know her? If you saw the 2.1 trailer, you certainly know her, but you don't know her introduction, and her character relies heavily on 2.0 and 2.1 to be endearing.

Without knowing 2.0, how would you know why she appeared? Without knowing 2.1, how would you know why Vertin and Anjo know each other?

2.0 may not be that important, but 2.1 is. Only if we played through that event we know why we're in Sao Paulo. We met Barbara on Tuesday's Motel, she told us about Urd's last connection in Sao Paulo, and we went to Sao Paulo. From 1.9 back in the island to 2.2 in Sao Paulo, there is a missing piece in between filled by 2.1, but 2.1 is an event that isn't obligatory to play.

Those who didn't play it have a big gap between the two.

My problem isn't really with the representation, I'm not Brazilian and it stuck close to my own home so I don't have many problems with it. My problem also doesn't rely on the messy story, I can eat that. My problem relies on the fact that it's not a smooth sailing like chapter 5.

We know from chapter 4 to chapter 5 why we went to the island. We need to find Urd, and we need to know about the mysterious island written in a report, and our first encounter is a flashback on how we got to the island. That connects the dots.

In chapter 8, however, we just appear. There is no introductory scene on why we're here, nor a ride to Sao Paulo, nor are we saying goodbye to Barbara. Nothing. We appear in Sao Paulo and that's it.

And I may be a little picky, this problem doesn't affect me, I'm no new player, but it bothers me a little. There is nothing connecting chapter 7 to chapter 8, just event 2.1, you can't make an event be the knot connecting two entirely different stories if it's not going to be permanent.

I love love LOVE the idea of the main story directly affecting the events like 2.0, but I don't like the idea of events directly affecting the main story. They should be separated unless there is a way to connect them, or else, you create gaps in the main story.

[lady-sleepless-gaming]

I've had this song in my head...

[good-oldfashioned-lover]

The urge to start rereading The Song Of Achilles rn is phenomenal. But also know I'll end up hating me for myself thru it at literally the first time possible.

It should be noted that it is currently 1.30 am and I am not capable of making sane decisions for anyone 🙃💅🏻✨️