#sleep will come when i'm ready for it

[bluebellhairpin]

public announcement that the dash really needs to stop being deader than dead between 3pm and 10pm AEST because I'm eating afternoon tea, dinner AND supper and I'm so lonely I look like this the whole time

[agendratum]

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[heartshattering]

I'll be happy if I can sleep at least

[doodle17]

i wanna hear more ab your raz age up (mostly so I can draw ours together sffbgnv)

Ohgh I'm always willing to talk about him more I've been thinking so much about him recently, especially with how he reacts when he comes to the realization that being a Psychonaut is a lot more paper work than he would have expected it to be.

After being in the field for roughly 18+ years the awe and wonder of being a Psychonaut has eventually lost its charm. He still wouldn't be any other place though, since it is, in fact, his dream job still (to some extent) and he feels like after being there for so long he's stuck with it. He's always so buried in paperwork, always trying to sort it out in his dorm room (which at this point has become a den full of mountains made of files and inevitable papercuts)

Sure once he finally gets a mission to go on he can actually stretch his legs and do something somewhat entertaining, but even the mission work has gotten repetitive. Like, yeah alright we get it you want to take over the world, can you just skip to the part where you tell us where the bomb is please.

The downright repetition of it all has taken a toll on his childlike sense of adventure, and all the little things keep getting more and more mildly annoying by the day. When he was around 22 he decided to go to college in an attempt to break away from it for just a little bit, and that's where he and Chloe became acquainted.

Because of the predictability of it all, he's become quite fluent in snark and sarcasm, and while he still upholds the professional demeanor and performance he's always had since he was younger, he also tends to act quite nonchalant in what would be quite dire situations to most regular people. Usually shrugging off or rolling his eyes to all the empty threats the villains tend make. He's a younger sibling as well, so of course he knows a thing or two about how to push buttons and get into mischief and get away with it. While hes not as much of a wild card as Bobby or Lili, he tries to use these skills to his advantage to try and bring back some kind of thrill into his work.

All in all, he's tired. He still manages to have fun, but he's tired. Unless he can find a good case or mystery to keep him occupied for a while, he'll be sitting in his dorm sifting through paperwork while going through a pack of cigarettes. The boredom man... It wasn't until he started his counselor job at Whispering Rock that things started to get a little more interesting

[italictext]

Hurray!! My sister came out to my mum as bi/pan and told ma she had a girlfriend and it went well! She's not 100% supportive but we'll get there

[kuromi-hoemie]

i wish i knew More people irl 😔

[tittyinfinity]

God my family is so rude about people who are sleeping

[united-under-skyfall]

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[dlnqnt]

on the first day of september i encountered a ghost in my home is this an omen

[avinox]

Uncommon as it may be, Felipe was the only black and white cat in the colony (even though he wasn't part of the colony, but abandoned near it), so when I got a message from my neighbour who volunteers at the shelter, saying they saw a B&W cat walking around, I kinda panicked, cause I'm not home, just like last time, and he already fell out a window once

But no, he's home sleeping in my sister's room thank god

[anendtopursuit]

damn . internalised ableism got hands

[arcadian-vampire]

Nausea is so fucking scary these days, bc very sore abdominal wound. I start feeling ill and I get upset bc I'm like oh if this goes badly, it is going to hurt so fucking much. Which of course makes me feel more ill. And then I really wanna cry bc I'm scared. But that'd make it even worse

[hyaciiintho]

" Thancred. " A gentle tap, followed by a shake that is, somehow, even gentler. It is not that the gunbreaker has fallen asleep against him that bothers him--- or, mayhap, that only claims a fraction of the reason Urianger is attempting to rouse him back to consciousness. There is CONCERN that his comrade has not been getting enough sleep (really, are ANY of them?), but surely, Thancred had not meant to fall asleep against Urianger, of all things, of all people. He hardly wanted to witness the inevitable displeasure that would follow, come Thancred's eventual awakening, but then came the concern that this may very well be the only opportunity he has to properly rest.

Undisturbed, protected, and at peace.

Urianger sighs, then, and carefully shifts the other man so he won't suffer ailing and aching bones later on, before a hand, tentatively, begins to stroke along ashen strands. " Would that I possessed the cheekiness of some of our comrades, I would endeavor to make thou a most amusing spectacle. Alas, I care more for thou's well being. How fortunate thine shoulder is the one thou hath choseth to rest one's head atop. " // Urianger to Thancred, I dunno, take this gibberish. OTL

How FORTUNATE indeed that, whilst everyone else busied themselves with one thing or the other, Thancred had chosen Urianger as his resting spot. Out of every single one of their companions, who also rested their feet and lounged about in the company of each other, it was the Elezen that found himself subjected as a living pillow. Was it purely coincidental? Hardly.

No, regardless of how prone Thancred was to leave a trail of terribly embarrassing stories that would be used as perfect fuel for black mail, this one thing had been done DELIBERATELY.

A chuckle was roused from the Gunbreaker's throat, the action alone being his only announcement of regained consciousness.

"Mm... Surely you should know by now, my dear friend." He said without any further explanation, as if the answer were OBVIOUS. When a beat of silence passed, the silveret made a scene of stretching his limbs with as little a motion as possible, not shifting from his spot in the slightest. "Though I trust our comrades with my very life— and of course, have, far too much to count— there is but one with whom I trust my most intimate of secrets."

His tone was suggestive, but one who knew him would understand the SINCERITY of the statement. Urianger knew much of his prior (embarrassing) trysts, having gone so far as to lay it all bare for others to poke fun at (all in good nature, of course, even if at his pride's expense). There was hardly anything he didn't trust the Elezen with, in regards to more private matters.

And when he was at his most vulnerable? Without hesitation.

"Intimacy aside, you're the perfect height for optimal comfort. So please, do be still. The night hasn't been kind to me, and this is a much needed respite." There was a pause before arms came to fold across his chest, lips frowning momentarily before relaxing. "I trust you won't mention that to the others."

They all had more than enough on their plates, as is.

"Now, if you would be so kind as to resume your previous ministrations, I'm feeling particularly generous, and as such, won't utter a single word of it to our friends, later." This was stated with a growing, CHEEKY grin, a single discolored eye opening to aim at the other before it slipped shut thereafter. "It'll be our little secret."

[northwestofinsanity]

Clinical pathology is love, clinical pathology is life... (the random musing of an elated veterinary student who just hit a very clin-path heavy exam out of the park!)

[rosesradio]

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[nezuscribe]

(previous part)

it's been a week since you've spoken to arranged!gojo, and he feels like he's about to start going crazy.

you don't speak during your meals, not even when he addresses you in a question. sometimes you spare him a glance, but he'd still rather see your icy glare than see nothing at all.

and he knows he fucked up. he knows that you seeing him alone with anya was perhaps the worst possible place you could’ve caught him, but he's been almost begging you to listen to him, to hear his side. but every time he goes to explain you leave abruptly, leaving him alone, feeling the looks of pity from those around the two of you.

and you know you're being petty. after all, the two of you are only bound by words, nothing else. if anything, the two of you were just becoming friends, so this shouldn't hurt you as much as it does.

but you hear the whispers of the ladies, hear of their secret proposals of how gojo would surely bed them if they just asked. how miserable he must be trapped with you, how this marriage is ruining his life. and you know anya, know about her history with him. before you were his wife you were the higher echelon wallflower, listening to all the gossip, observing from afar.

you've gathered some ideas in your head as to why he might want to speak with you. perhaps he wants to gently break the news that he's found a mistress, one that he actually loves. or that maybe he's already had one and now you know why he's been so secretive.

so the more he tries to talk to you, the more you pull away. you don't know why he cares so much, why this even matters to him. if anything, you feel like he should be content with your silence.

but he's not, and gojo grows more restless by the hour.

he decides he can't live like this anymore. tonight he's going to make you listen to him, even if you want nothing to do with him.

you're holed up in your room, talking with alina as she dabs lavender oil on your neck before you go to sleep. you know she knows about your silence with gojo, but ever friend, she does nothing to bring it up.

well, she wouldn't have to if he didn't come knocking feverishly at your door.

you watch in your mirror as she peeks her head out, her gasp of surprise causing a sinking pit to form in your stomach. you can hear how she scrambles with the titles of my lord, how she explains that you're nearly about to go to sleep.

it's late, the only light is the flickering of the candles on your nightstand. he should be asleep by now.

gods, you wonder for the millionth time this week, why does he care so much?

alina finishes up, closing the door slightly as she turns to you, her eyes finding yours in the mirror.

"i'm sorry my lady," she bows her head almost apologetically, "but my lord wants to talk to you. he's requested me to leave...if you'll excuse me," she bows, quickly leaving, not giving you any time to actually excuse her. you know she can't stay any longer, but you do wish she put up more of a fight. you watch her skirt bustle away, the door being left slightly ajar.

you try to act nonchalant, continuing to dab the oil onto your wrists as you look down, even when you hear the door click shut, even when you can feel his presence several feet behind you.

you sigh through your nose, heat rising to your cheeks.

"what?" you bite out, your own voice shocking you. you want to get this over with, not too desperate to hear about how he's ready to take on a mistress and shun you away.

you can hear him take in a deep breath, your eyes briefly looking up in the mirror to catch his, the same ones that make your knees weak, and avert your gaze.

"you haven't spoken to me in over a week," he says after a beat of silence.

you shrug indifferently, despite the fact that he could probably ask you the specific amount of hours it's been since the two of you had talked and you'd give an accurate number.

"i've been busy," you murmur, taking your earrings off as you place them gently in the little glass bowl to the side.

he doesn't say anything about your blatant lie, just nods slowly, as if he understands.

"i missed hearing you talk," gojo tells you quietly, almost as if his voice had been stuck in his throat, and you wonder if any man before him had ever tried to sweet talk his wife before he told her about his new mistress.

you don't say anything, still refusing to look at him as you stand up from your seat, turning off one of the candles near you as you smooth out some of the wrinkles of your nightgown.

"is this what you really want to tell me gojo?" you say bluntly, looking to the side momentarily, getting a longer look at his bulky figure, how he tries to make himself seem smaller, "that you miss my stupid jokes and dull stories?"

"they're not stupid," he quickly cuts in, his voice a little stronger, brows furrowed, "and i like your stories."

you roll your eyes, moving around the bed, to the side where he's not, and fluff your pillows. you've never found this useful, but it gives you something to do with your hands other than fidgeting with them.

truth be told, you're reflecting. you're scared of what it is he has to say, and so you try to appear stronger, and less caring, despite the fact that it's tearing you apart.

you try not to feel self-conscious of the fact that this is his first time ever seeing your room, or the fact that it's so bland. you didn't come to this estate with many things, and so you've tried to spruce up the space as much as you can, but aside from the few flowers and paintings on the wall, you fear it looks bland compared to everything else he's seen.

"and no," gojo adds, running a hand through his already tousled white hair as his arms crossed over his chest, and you finally allow yourself to stare at him, "that's not all i wanted to say."

he paused for a second.

"i don't know why i followed her out, or why i even stayed to hear her speak, but she kept saying these things about..." he trails off, gnawing on his lips as your eyes narrow slightly.

"me?" you finish for him, and his eyes dart to yours.

gojo nods a little bit, arms bulging a little bit as if remembering what she had said.

"i'm used to people staring at me, i lived with it my entire life. but with you, people..." he struggles to find words, "people stare longer. and i don't know why."

you raise a brow.

"do you want me to explain?" you say and he looks at you briefly, almost in a brazen way.

he shakes his head as if he had steered off track.

"that's beside the point. what i wanted to tell you is that she...she was saying some nonsense and i was about to leave until she offered for me to stay at the hostelry she was at." his blue eyes are wavering, his finger itching to get closer to you. this stupid bed is in the middle of you two and he wishes it were gone.

your breathing hitches a little bit, and you hope he doesn't see the sad tilt on your lips.

"so i banished her. or, well, i guess you saw her and then i banished her, but i would've done it regardless," he explains hurriedly, "look, i'm sorry...really sorry. if you want me to-"

"you banished her?" you cut him off, voice raised slightly in confusion.

his mouth gapes open for a second, and then blinks slowly, nodding.

"of...course," he tilts his head, his gorgeous head, slightly "you know that i am married, right? to you? she was offering to-"

"i thought you were going to tell me that you slept with her. o-or i don't know! that you were going to make her your mistress or something!" you spew out, your voice raised as you pace around the floor, moving a little bit closer to him as his eyes widen.

"why would you ever think that?" gojo says in a panicked tone, nothing like the man who commanded the northern army, but more like somebody who was watching his world burn in front of him.

"why?" you exclaim, shocked, "why? are you daft? every single woman wants to sleep with you! every single time we host those dinners, o-or we go to those parties, they look at you and they look at me and they pity you. i hear the whispers of the ladies, how they wouldn't mind being the other woman."

gojo hears the way your voice wavers, how your lips tremble, and the way you try not to let your bottom lip quiver. he sees the way you try to stay strong, to keep your image unbridled, but right now he feels like he's watching you break and he doesn't know what to do.

"so? what makes you think i'd do anything with them?" gojo argues, his voice raised a little bit, not in shouting, but in genuine disbelief.

you take a moment to step back and observe his behavior, and a nagging voice in your head tells you that he's telling you the truth. that he's concerned and worried, that maybe all he came to tell you tonight was an apology.

but that can't be correct.

so you sigh, your arms crossed over your chest protectively.

"i...i don't know," you murmur, "you sleep in another wing, you're always away. i thought...maybe..." you can't meet his eyes, fidgeting with the ring on your finger.

gojo takes a step forward, lips parted, cheeks rosy and flushed.

the two of you don't say anything for a minute, his chest heaving up and down. you feel like there's a weight both removed and added onto your shoulder.

"why didn't you say anything?" he whispers, "did you think...did you think i was...?" he can't finish the sentence, the words themselves too gruesome.

he doesn't say anything as he takes another tentative step closer.

you watch him, your eyes mirroring one another.

"i made a vow to you," his voice is heavy, traveling across the spanning stone walls, going deep into your bones, "and even if you prefer me to be your friend, i'll keep to that vow till the day i die."

your eyes gloss over, lips trembling.

you don't say anything, taking a couple steps forward as you smash against his chest, face crumpling against the stone wall of his torso as you hug him tightly, hoping that he can't feel the tears that seep through his nightshirt.

never in your life has somebody made a promise to you. and never in your life has somebody kept to that promise.

"thank you," you murmur, your voice muffled as his arms wrap around your body, steady and strong.

"and anyways, i'd prefer to be married to you than those miserable women any day," he mumbles into your hair and you laugh wetly, squeezing your arms tighter.

"really?" you say, tears blurring your vision.

"really," he hums, not able to say anything because he fears what you'd say if he told you that he'd rather be your husband and your friend. but he'd keep that inside, respecting your wishes.

if only he knew you wished the same.