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sashaisready · 7 months ago

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Starting Over: Chapter 1 - Betrayal

Mob!Bucky x Female Reader

Series Masterlist

When Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, betrayal, mean!Bucky,

Hi! This kinda came outta nowhere lmao. Apologies for the angst, I just needed to do an angsty/sad fic cos I'm in my feels. As always, I appreciate your comments and reblogs. This is a two part series (standalone, not linked to any of my other fics, not the same characters as in Sweet and Sour) second part coming soon...

Wordcount: 3.7k

💔

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me, Doll. After everything we’ve been through? Was it all a lie?”

“Don’t deny it! That’s your voice on the recording! Banner proved your phone was there, it pinged there – we’ve got the proof. Even now you’re lying, you just can’t help yourself, can you?”

You had read about people being too stunned to move or speak, but you always thought it was a little embellished for dramatic effect in books. Surely, you could just push through? Surely shock did not have such a profound effect on your body that it rendered you temporarily paralysed and mute?

But you had calmly walked down the stairs towards the lobby of the house twenty minutes ago and hadn’t moved since. You just stood there now, rigid and dumbfounded, trying to understand how your entire world had just collapsed around you mere minutes beforehand. Now, you got the ‘stunned’ thing. You understood.

The aftershocks of Bucky yelling at you echoed around your head. What had just happened? You’d been sleeping peacefully just before he stormed in your shared bedroom, roaring at you before your eyes had even opened. You’d never seen him like that before. This wasn’t your Bucky, this was work Bucky. The one he’d always worked so hard to keep you from.

Why wouldn’t he listen? What did he mean, the recording? The phone ping? Your skull ached as you tried to make sense of it all. You would never do a thing like that to him. You loved him. You’d die before you purposefully tried to hurt him. Why didn’t he understand that?

You briefly considered going back upstairs, finding him wherever he was in the labyrinth of this house and straightening this whole mess out. Telling him you loved him, and he had to listen. Taking him in your arms, kissing him softly.

But the memory of the look in his eyes, the sheer rage they contained, the hatred that lay there, stopped you.

There was nothing to go back for.

You managed to pull yourself from your paralysis and move towards the hall closet near the front door. Well, it was more like a small room than a closet. An overflow from the walk-in closet just off the master bedroom upstairs. A huge space packed with a selection of Bucky’s jackets and shoes. He liked keeping some of them downstairs, getting the staff to rotate them when he wanted a change. Some of your things sat in there too - a few high-end coats, beautiful shoes.

Correction, past tense - they were yours. Not now.

“You’re a liar! You lied to me…Bet you loved spending my money too, didn’t you? Laughing all the way to bank as you sucked me dry…”

You screwed up your face as the memory of his voice flooded you. He was just so angry…he just wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t believe you…

You pushed it all aside and opened the closet door, darting and shuffling through the combined thousands of dollars at your fingertips - the Dior, the Gucci, the Prada. You knew it was in here somewhere.

Then you spotted a flash of red behind one of the shoe racks in the far corner. There she was.

You moved towards it, grabbing at the red fabric and tugging. It squeezed past the luxury shoes and revealed itself as you pulled it toward you - your faithful red backpack.

A relic of your former self.

No designer labels here, just a bag that had followed you throughout your life - high school, college before you’d dropped out, various apartment moves and vacations. The once-bright crimson colour had faded over time, but it was still sturdy and strong, still TARDIS-like in how much you could pack inside. It stuck out like a sore thumb in the closet against the glamour and opulence.

You knew how that felt.

You unzipped it and dug through the contents. A pair of jeans, a sweater, a couple of T-shirts and your beaten-up old sneakers. Some pairs of underwear and bras. A few other simple garments. All polyblends and cheap textiles. No fancy labels to be found. No fine silks or luxe fabrics that Bucky had liked to spoil you with.

This backpack was all you had to your name when you’d moved in here. Funny how life went in circles, because once again it was all you had now.

At the time Bucky had taken it from you and insisted you throw it away - you wouldn’t need it! He’d buy you a whole walk-in closet full of clothes!

And he did.

A dizzying amount. More than you could ever wear. A mix of designer labels and custom pieces that fit you perfectly. Fine tailoring and exquisite details. Dresses. Blouses. Pants. Jeans. Organic cotton t-shirts. Skirts of every length. Winter coats that had cost the same as two months of your rent in the city. Underwear sets so pretty and delicate that you were almost too nervous to wear them.

And accessories, too. Handbags. Jewellery. Shoes. Oh, the shoes. Heels, flats, boots, sandals, sneakers and slippers. Shoes for fancy parties and shoes for hikes. Shoes for the grand vacations. Shoes for just lounging around the house. Shoes you only wore for sex.

All gone, in an instant.

It didn’t matter, anyway. You always told him you didn’t need any of it. And you weren’t lying. You’d never lied to him, despite what he believed now. You were always happiest in sweats and loungewear, you just liked being comfortable and yourself. You just liked being near him.

At the time you’d talked him round about letting you keeping the backpack - nostalgia, you know? You’d had it years, after all.

But he didn’t think you needed it. That was then, this was now. Why keep an old bag when you could get anything you’d ever want? He’d buy you a hundred backpacks, he said, he’d get your initials embroidered, he’d let you design your own, he’d have your favourite designer make you one - especially for you.

But that wouldn’t be your bag. The bag that had seen everything. Your constant companion.

You persisted. What was one little backpack in a big old house like his? It would take up no space at all. He wouldn’t even know it was there.

He relented eventually, he’d always loved how down to earth and low-key you were. He was fond of your sentimentality. You’d never been interested in his money; you’d kept the love notes he wrote you - not the shopping receipts - but he still liked to spoil you. You deserved it.

Or so he’d told you then. But it was a different story today.

The bag had been hastily stashed here in the closet the first day you moved in and had been there ever since, languishing amongst the Italian tailoring.

Until now.

Part of you wondered if deep down you had always known this day would come. Maybe your gut had sensed it was all too good to be true, and you knew you needed to store a parachute for the inevitable fall.

You sniffed, wiping away the threat of more tears. There would be time for that later.

You looked down at the slip you wore, the slinky, silly nightie thing he’d bought you that you’d worn to bed. Not very practical now you’d be out on the street.

Your brain suddenly switched into survival mode, most likely in an attempt to stop yourself from falling apart, but you couldn’t think about it all now. You needed to find somewhere to stay. And you couldn’t do that in a silk nightdress.

You quickly shrugged the gown off, leaving it in a tangled pool on the floor of the closet and mentally apologising to Martha who would have to pick it up tomorrow. You grabbed the backpack and pulled on the jeans, a bra, one of the tees and the sweater. You rolled the Dollar Tree socks onto your feet. Kicked on the sneakers. It was all a little musty from being folded up in the bag for so long. But it would do.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the closet mirror and gasped. Aside from the wild eyes and tear-stained face, you looked like a version of yourself you hadn’t seen in a long time. Another life.

Hello again.

Next: where to go. The obvious places were Wanda’s or Nat’s homes. And you’d go there. Either would work. Either would welcome you with open arms, being the true friends that they were. Bucky’s betrayal had made you question everything you knew about love, but not the faith in your friends to catch you when you fall. That was unshakeable.

Maybe you could alternate who you stayed with until you got back on your feet, so you weren’t too much of a burden to either. You just couldn’t face either of them tonight, you needed to be alone.

You frantically rummaged through the backpack again until you found what you were looking for at the very bottom. You let out a little yelp of relief.

The battered old wallet had seen better days, but it was hanging on. You opened it up and breathed a sigh of relief that you’d never transferred your driver’s license into the Gucci wallet Bucky had given you on that first day. Thanks, lazy past self. It wasn’t like you’d driven much anyway, not with his all drivers on the payroll and the Uber account he’d loaded onto your phone.

The wallet also contained debit and credit cards you’d never cancelled but hadn’t touched since Bucky gave you your very own black card. It was funny how you used to obsessively count every penny and now you could charge whatever you wanted without a second thought.

Not now, then, you corrected. You needed to get used to your life with Bucky being referred to in the past tense.

“You were working with the feds this whole time, Doll? Is that it? You were all laughing at me? Laughing at how easy it was to let you in? The cute little waitress doing her ‘oh shucks!’ routine, catching me hook, line and sinker?? God I’m such a fucking idiot…”

You stifled a sob, but continued hunting through the wallet.

You thought about your purse sitting out on the side table by the front door. You could take that with you and charge a hotel room it. He probably wouldn’t even notice such a small charge amongst his wealth, and even if he did, he wouldn’t begrudge you a few bucks for a roof over your head for one night. Would he?

No. Enough.

He had ended it. He had implied you were a leech. He didn’t listen, he didn’t trust you. He didn’t believe you. If he truly thought you’d done what he said…he couldn’t ever have loved you. Not really.

No more spending his money, even though you never really felt comfortable doing so anyway. The showdown tonight had confirmed your biggest fears - he’d always resented you for spending his cash. You couldn’t live like that anymore.

Besides, you didn’t want him to know where you were. Not that you thought he’d come after you…but still.

Fortunately, the wallet had a ream of stale bills stuffed in one of the sections. You exclaimed in excitement; you remembered them now. It had been your last day at your waitress job. You’d quit right before you came over to this place to move in, and Lou had given you the rest of the week’s pay plus tips. You had fought him on it, insisting you didn’t need it - but Lou had asked you to take it. For his sake.

“I want you to be happy, hon’,” he’d told you kindly when you had shared your plans. “And I know you’re a smart girl. But you’re getting mixed up with…a different kinda world. A…different kind of guy. You never know when this might come in handy”.

You’d frowned at him at the time, not quite sure what he meant. But as you stood there in the closet clutching the cash, you sent him a silent thank-you for his foresight. God bless Lou. He was exactly right.

You shoved the money and the wallet back into the red bag and moved from the closet into the hallway. The house was completely silent. If Bucky knew you hadn’t left yet, he’d made no effort to stop you. You admitted that a tiny part of yourself had hoped he’d come after you and admit he’d made a terrible mistake.

But he wasn’t coming.

You slung the backpack over your shoulder as you headed to the front door. As your hand curled around the handle, you turned and took one last look at what had been your first real home. What you’d hoped would be your last home.

You looked over at your phone which you’d tossed onto the dresser next to the closet in your panic. You briefly pondered taking it, but it wasn’t yours anymore. You’d buy a burner in the morning and get a new cell plan once you were back on your feet.

Wow. You were surprising yourself with this pragmatism. But you also knew you were hanging on by a thread.

But the fact was - you’d survived before Bucky, and you’d survive after him, too. You always kept going. You’d been dirt poor before, you could do it again. You’d been alone before, too. You’d been alone most of your life.

You could do it again.

‘Tenacious’ - that’s what Nat had called you once. You weren’t sure if you agreed with her at the time, but now you wanted to prove her right. You wanted to be the person she believed you to be.

You already knew it would be much harder now, as you’d had a taste of the other side. How the other half live, as they say. Before, you didn’t know any different - you didn’t know what you were missing. Now you absolutely did. Not just the money…the comfort…but being cared for, being loved.

On some level, you’d always known this wasn’t going to be your happy ending. You knew deep down that the house of cards would eventually fall, because it always did.

You just wished you weren’t always right.

You opened the door and stepped out into the dark.

💔

You walked for thirty minutes towards the city. Bucky lived on the outskirts and most of the journey had been leaving his estate along the single, winding road that led up to his property. None of his men paid you any mind. Not the ones with guns pitched up along the perimeter. Not those waiting in cars half a mile from his house, keeping an eye out for any potential threats as they did every night. They all knew who you were, so word must’ve spread fast. Otherwise they would’ve been falling over themselves to check on you and find out why the boss’ girl was out walking by herself at this time.

You wondered if Steve or Sam had put a message out on the comms. ‘They’re over. Don’t worry about her anymore’ or words to that effect. Something cold but concise. That’s how this operation worked.

You’d developed friendships with some of these men. Chatted to them and even brought them coffee when they kept watch on cold nights. You would watch then from the windows and tell Bucky you were worried about how freezing it was out there, and he’d laugh it off and say it was part of their job and they were fine. But they were always grateful when you came out with a thermos, always told you how much it meant to them.

All of it forgotten in an instant, you were disposable as anything else in Bucky’s empire. You understood that now. Just like when he wanted a new car or a new watch, he’d toss away the old model - then find himself something newer and shinier.

You walked a little further as signs of civilisation starting to appear and Bucky’s acres of land disappeared behind you. A gas station. A boarded-up strip mall. You were a little frightened walking alone by yourself, but the sheer adrenaline your situation propelled you forward.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you eventually found a tired-looking Holiday Inn up ahead. A few of the lightbulbs on the neon sign were out, meaning it spelled out H LIDAY INN. A leaky drainpipe dripped a steady stream of water over the entrance. Oh dear.

But it would do for now.

You took a deep breath as you went inside and checked in at the front desk, paying for a basic room with your waitress cash. The disinterested receptionist gave you the key card and sighed with boredom, barely looking at you as she barked the directions to your room and resumed Candy Crush on her phone. She didn’t seem surprised to see a lone woman turning up in the middle of the night, arriving to a roadside hotel on foot, paying for two nights in crumpled bills. She didn’t even ask to see your ID. That all gave you a pretty clear idea of what the staff were used to here.

You passed an ancient-looking PC that guests could use, which surprisingly, as it looked like it was last updated for Windows 95, had WiFi. You made a mental note to log on tomorrow to message Wanda and Nat on social media and fill them in …and hopefully get one of them to come pick you up.

You grabbed some chips and soda from the vending machines then walked towards the elevators. Not quite the glamorous dinner you’d become accustomed too, but it would do. For now.

You hit the button to call the elevator as you slumped against the wall, the exertion of your long walk and the evening finally catching up with you. The elevator creaked and spluttered but it finally got you to your floor.

You scanned your keycard and swung the room door open, dumping your backpack and snacks onto the wood-veneer desk before flinging yourself onto the double bed. The no-frills basics were worlds away from the fancy hotels you were used to staying in with Bucky, but it was clean and comfortable. And most important of all, it was private.

“Just get the fuck out. We’re done here so save your tears. Over. Finito. I don’t need some liar in my bed, being sweet to my face then sticking a knife in my back – then not even having the guts to admit to it when she’s caught red-handed”.

Finally alone, you allowed yourself to weep. To mourn the end of your relationship and the man you thought Bucky was, versus the man he turned out to really be. To grieve, to bid farewell to the life you thought you had (and would continue to have) with him, and the way you thought he saw you. It wasn’t just about losing him and tarnishing your memories, it was also grieving for a future and a life you thought you were going to have.

“I don’t care. You’ll figure something out, sweetheart. You’re just lucky this is all I’m doing after everything you’ve pulled…”

Large, wracking sobs took over your body as you curled up on the hotel bedspread and allowed yourself to feel it all. You ate the chips and drank the soda, barely tasting either. You turned on the TV and let the black and white movie on the one working channel serve as background noise. Fatigue eventually swam over you, smothering you like a weighted blanket.

Soon there were no tears left and the well had finally run dry. Mercifully, sleep finally came for you, and you gave into it without a fight.

And you slept. And slept.

💔

Bucky was at his desk looking at paperwork when Steve came back into his home office. He was doing his best to ignore the nauseating rush in his gut, trying his hardest not to think about you and the way your face had crumpled as he confronted you. Most likely it was just your guilt, anyway.

“Barton said the shipment arrived right on schedule, everything accounted for,” Steve advised as he poured himself a shot of bourbon from the small bar setup in the corner of the office. “And Sam’s out at the shipyard, running through the plan with Rumlow”.

He was desperate to address the elephant of the room and ask Bucky how he was holding up, but Bucky had previously insisted nobody bring your name up. So he didn’t.

“Good,” Bucky replied curtly. “And Stark?”

“All on board. Said we can iron out the details next week”.

“Perfect, thanks”.

Steve nodded, downing the last of his glass as he placed it on the ornate tray and headed to the door.

“Oh, and Steve?” Bucky called out to him.

“Yeah, Buck?” He turned to face his friend.

“Do you….you uh know…where she went? After…what happened?” He asked, the tiniest hint of hesitation in his otherwise firm tone. Most people wouldn’t have spotted it, but most people didn’t know Bucky like Steve did.

Steve shook his head, “No, Buck. Some of the men saw her leaving on foot a little while ago”.

Bucky swallowed but his face betrayed no emotion, “On foot?”

“Yeah. I guess she didn’t have a lot of options…” Steve shrugged.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah…I guess I just assumed she’d book a cab…or call one of her friends…” he said wistfully as he looked back down at the papers across his desk.

“She left her phone. Scott found it by the front door, next to her purse. I’m not sure she took anything with her, actually,” Steve mused.

Bucky frowned, “No…phone? No…money?”

Steve shrugged, “I don’t think so. But that’s good, right? You said yourself she was probably just playing a long-con to get your money too…”

Bucky’s gaze dropped back to the desk, his grip on the fountain pen he was holding tightened, the nib shaking from the force of his strength.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve asked tentatively as he watched the way the pen shook.

Any hint of vulnerability was immediately snuffed out as Bucky’s eyes snapped back to Steve.

“Of course. Fine. Let me know what Sam says”.

Steve nodded, “Right. I’ll call him now”.

As Steve closed the door, the pen snapped in Bucky’s hand.

#mob!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #starting over fic

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gerec · 8 months ago

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Master List of X-Men Fic Recs - Part 1

I had no idea that I'd made this many fic rec posts until I went to compile a master list and had to break it into 2 parts because of the character limits lol. I'll be pinning Part 1 to my blog for easy access, and you can also find Part 2 via the link at the bottom of this post.

Happy Reading!!!

CHERIK Ao3 Dirtybad Fics AFAB Charles Age Difference Alpha Omega Alternate First Meeting Amnesia/Memory Loss Angsty Fic Animal or Object AUs Arranged Marriage Avengers Crossover Bamf!Charles Bodyguard AUs Canon Fics Charles Being Experimented On Charles Embarrassing Himself over Erik Charles Falls First, Erik Falls Harder Charles Sleeps Around / Slutty Charles Charles Suppressing His Telepathy Charles and Tony Stark as Besties Coffee Shop AUs College/University AUs Part 1 College/University AUs Part 2 Crack Dark!Charles Part 1 Dark!Charles Part 2 Dark / Dead Dove Fics Detective AUs Divorce AUs DOFP Fics DOFP + Happy Ending Dom!Erik Dom/Sub Universe Dysfunctional/Toxic Relationship Part 1 Enemies to Lovers Part 1 Enemies to Lovers Part 2 Erik is Good with Kids / Students Exes to Lovers Fairy Tale AUs Fantasy AUs First Time First Time After Paralysis Fluff & Crack Fic Foster Parents / Foster Family Found Family Genosha AUs Hannibal Inspired AUs High School AU Historical & Regency AUs Holiday Fics Human Charles/Mutant Erik Part 1 Human Charles/Mutant Erik Part 2 Human Charles/Mutant Erik Part 3 (Erik being cruel to Charles) Hunger Games AUs Incest Infidelity Part 1 Infidelity Part 2

Click Here for Master List of Fic Recs - Part 2

#cherik #fic rec #gerec's fic rec #master fic rec list #part 1

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shukraastro · 6 months ago

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Planets & Nakshatras observation on looks and traits

(applicable for spouse analysis)

Mars ruled Nakshatras: Mrigashira, Chitra, Dhanishta

The skin will have a pinkish/reddish undertone.

They can have cuts/scars/marks on the face (representing their fighting spirit).

Men are prone to anger issues (except for Chitra, cuz it lies in Libra, so they have good controle over their anger)

Women are usually restless or even anxious, especially in Virgo Chitra and Mrigashira.

Saturn ruled Nakshatras: Pushya, Anuradha, Uttara Bhadrapada

If Moon is in these Nakshatras then women can be seen wearing corsettes/shapewear or very tight clothes often, bcuz Saturn represents restrictions.

Saturn also represents ink and metals and in these Nakshatras a person can have tattoos and piercings, but a trigger planet for that would be Mars bcuz Mars rules over wounds and cuts. So Mars in these Nakshatras can very likely result in tattoos and piercings.

Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra:

If you go back to my previous posts you will find about the foot injury trait of Purva Bhadrapada. I have seen this play out so many times that this Nakshatra will give some type of foot injuries, and prominently on the left foot. Justin Bieber has the planet Sun placed in his 7th house in the D9 chart and it is in the Nakshatra of Purva Bhadrapada. Sun is linked to performing arts, Hailey used to dance Ballet until she injured her left foot. You see how planets in Nakshatras inside the 7th house of the Navamsa can play out.

Also another thing I have noticed in this Nakshatra is the lip shape, they can have a pouty rectangular shaped lower lip. And women here somehow give off "island girl" vibes.

They can also have precognitive dreams, because they are very in tune with their higher self.

Rohini Nakshatra:

They love to wear oversized, baggy clothes and quality materials, because of Moon's influence, they love comfort. On the other hand they may also love to display their appealing physique.

They also love branded luxury items: cars, watches, clothes, perfumes. And they love food a lot, they can eat a lot (with Saturn influence they can be cautious and go on diets).

Also after eating food they will get tired, because of the Venus and Moon influence.

And they will always end up having no fixed work schedule in their career.

They can also become the most achieving at a young age, compared to their workmates.

DK planet or 7th lord in Rohini can give a spouse with sining and dancing abilities, Hailey Bieber has Moon DK/7th lord of D9 in Rohini. (Planets like Sun, Moon, Mercury and Mars can give that as talents, Jupiter could make someone a teacher in that area and Saturn could give it as a career).

Moon influence:

Moon connected to any spouse placements or 7th house can give musical talents in the spouse.

Moon in the 7th house can also either give a cat like appearance to the spouse or a bunny like appearance. Both animals are symbolically connected to Moon, cats are connected because of the hightened intuition and bunnies are connected by the chinese folklore of the moon goddess who's companion is the bunny/rabbit.

Mars influence:

Having Mars as DK/7th lord can indicate a spouse who might be a soldier/police/athlete just anything physical movement related.

Saturn in Rohini:

This combination can cause consumption of Whiskey to enhance creativity. A person will love to drink to feel relaxed and sing and dance. If Mercury influence is also there as well it can amplify this even more.

Saturn in Rohini can also result in dryness, skinnyness, lack of water in the body, dry/flaky skin and acne or other skin irritations. But therefor a person will be very disciplined in following a quality skin care rountine.

Ketu Ruled Nakshatras: Ashwini, Magha, Mula

Will have out-of-body experiences/precognitive dreams/sleep paralysis

They can be very interested in ancient history/culture/scriptures. They're all about the past and the root of things. They may love to dig under the ground, that's why Magha especially can make someone an archeologist or historian or even a teacher.

Also Magha is strongly connected with royalty/royal lineage. They may not be considered a royalty but counting a number of generations back, their ancestors might have been powerful individuals.

In these Nakshatras a person will let their hair grow out. Because hair is linked with roots. And Ketu is all about the roots, because it's the tail of the dragon, the tail represents the underground while Rahu, the head of the dragon represents the sky. So Ketu ruled Nakshatras will keep their hair long, it makes them feel spiritually connected to their past lives. There is something they cannot let go of from their past lives.

Revati Nakshatra:

Another Nakshatra which is connected to royal lineage. (same as Magha here also).

If a man has his DK/7th lord/Venus in this Nakshatra, his wife can be taller than him.

They love to travel and their travel journeys will be comfortable, without any kind of major complications.

They will also be very successful outside of their home country.

With Venus here, a person will find their spouse in a foreign country or move to a foreign country after marriage for their spouse. The spouse can also be someone who travels a lot or is successful overseas. Or a person will travel a lot with their spouse.

Rohini, Mrigashira & Ashlesha Nakshatra (snake yoni or symbol):

As the Ascendant/DK/7th lord/Venus natives will always attract strong Rahuvian people.

They have very intense and hypnotic eyes. Either dark and big or bright and slender. If their eye color is dark they may tend to wear light colored contacts, which can give their eyes a snake like appearance.

Ashleshas will be lisping.

Swati Nakshatra:

They can jump very high and run very fast, they love being in the air/speeding through the air, because the deity is Vayu, he rules over the air (Rahu ruled Nakshatra-Sky connection).

Venus in Swati can make a person have a love for the sky in a creative way, also can give singing abilities, because music is carried through the air, they can also have a love for good sports shoes (for jumping) or high platform shoes (Venus-fashion & Rahu heights). But these can also apply to the spouse, because Venus generally represents the spouse.

Swati can make a person be a fanatic for extreme sports related to heights like mountain climbing, bungee jumping and sky diving. Mars and Venus here can also make a person excel in martial arts and music.

Also they just can't stay still, they are always moving, and can't keep still for a second. They look like they can jump off any second.

I will do more of these observations for the other Nakshatras that are left.

Thanks for reading🌺

#astrology #sidereal #darakaraka #navamsa #sidereal chart #vedic astrology #vedic chart #sidereal zodiac #nakshatra #vedic #future spouse #sidereal astrology #vedic astro notes #vedic astro observations #astro observations #astro notes

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literaryvein-reblogs · 3 months ago

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Writing Notes: Types of Dreams

There are a variety of different dreams we are capable of experiencing:

Daydreams: Daydreaming refers to a series of thoughts that distract you from the outside world, making you less aware of your surroundings. Daydreams occur while we are awake and are produced by the brain’s default mode network in the brain in response to a lack of stimulation. Types of daydreaming include dysphoric, escapism, fantasy, rumination, and visualization.

False-awakening dreams: These dreams are when the sleeper believes they have woken up from a sleep session but are still in the middle of a dream. False-awakening dreams are a hybrid state that overlaps with wakefulness and sleep, commonly linked to sleep paralysis or lucid dreams.

Healing dreams: Healing dreams are dreams where the dreamer can heal others, or has a supernatural power like telekinesis or telepathy. Healing dreams can bring feelings of balance and reconciliation. They can help you facilitate a sense of peace or purpose through your unconscious mind.

Lucid dreams: Lucid dreaming is a dream where the sleeper becomes aware that they are dreaming and can retain some control of their body and thoughts within the dream.

Nightmares: Nightmares are fear-inducing dreams. This dream state is the brain’s way of processing life’s daily stressors. Some common causes of nightmares are poor eating habits, previous traumatic events, illness, sleep deprivation, sleep disorders, or medication.

Prophetic dreams: In prophetic dreams, people see future events occur before they happen in real life. Some believe these dreams mean a person has predicted the future, while others believe prophetic dreams are the subconscious preparing you for a likely outcome.

Recurring dreams: Recurring dreams refer to dreams that we repeatedly experience over a sleep session or multiple sleep sessions. Recurring dreams contain the same or similar imagery and sensations in prior occurrences and can also occur in the form of recurring nightmares. Multiple theories suggest that recurring dreams result from risk avoidance, internalized fears, or other unresolved issues.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

#dream #writing notes #writeblr #literature #writers on tumblr #writing reference #dark academia #spilled ink #writing prompt #creative writing #writing inspiration #writing ideas #light academia #vittore carpaccio #writing resources

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seirindono · 5 months ago

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What are Sloth Sans/Demon Sans Powers; relationships; what is he like in the other runs???

Ok, let's talk about Demon! Sans!

The embodiment of idleness, he's the predator of many emotions and states linked to this sin, such as apathy, depression and resignation.

We've already talked about his use of illusions (music/ hypnosis) to charm and disarm his victims, dreams being his preferred hunting ground, and one his unique ability (your personnal sleep paralysis demon), but he's just as much as a threat in real life!

His preferred strategy is to lower the enemy's stats (DEF, ATK, HP, etc) so he can finish them off with a single strike or, better yet, let their body slowly die while he lulls their soul into an endless dream.

He gradually deprives them of the desire to attack or defend themselves, amplifying the fatigue (physical and psychological) and sense of powerlessness, of helplessness hidden deep in their souls.

If he's in a playful mood or if his victim has upset him, he takes great pleasure in awakening their traumas by peering into their unconscious and projecting nightmarish hallucinations. Making them super aware of their situation is also effective: they can't defeat him, and even if they could or if he decided to spare them, only death and more pain awaits them at the end of their journey, by the hand of another Lord or bc they're litteraly in hell. However, his habit of granting a “peaceful death” is viewed as merciful compared to the other Lords (or cruel and messed up by others)

A word of advice, however, to intruders venturing into his Snowdin territory: if you stumble upon his collection of ice statues or a suspicious pile of snow, keep walking and don't touch anything.

----

I'll focus on the relationships showed here

Gluttony - His brother. He practically raised him and supports him to this day, going so far as to share the territory where they grew up (Snowdin). Demons tend to avoid such close ties, as it can become a weakness, but the Skeleton brothers are a rare exception, having proven time and again their ruthlessness.

Lust - They don't usually interact but Lust suspects he's hiding something from the other Lords. + there was the time he teleported in his sleep onto the set of Lust (live broadcast), putting everyone in the audience to sleep. He doesn't remember but Mettaton might hold a ti~ny grudge.

Pride - A combination of distrust and disapproval of some of the King's past decisions. He remains loyal to him, but doesn't mind the distance between their respective territories.

Wrath (former) - Lord from the past generation. He was close to them and received a lot of help from both him and their skeleton friend. Both disappeared overnight, their names erased from the archives as Undyne took on the now vacant role. He can't openly look for them bc of the King's order, but he assumes they must have found a way to hide somewhere…

Frisk - The kid that somehow managed to become friend with his brother and is now cosplaying as an imp. He has no interest in directly harming them, only playing tricks on them and witness how far they can make it with that puny soul.

---

Other runs:

This part is still a WIP since I've mostly worked on a "neutral route" so far lol Also, Demons are, well, "bad", so the genocide run requires more reflection

Neutral:

Mischievous and willfully neglectful, he tolerates Frisk and the player on his territory, but doesn't go out of his way to help them since his brother is already helping.

Pacifist:

Still playful and unbothered, but Papyrus has told him all about Frisk's adventures and how they became friends with other Demons. He is curious and may appear at randoms moments in the run to help the player (tell them about a secret passage in Waterfall or come and play an instrument for Lust's show and put the whole audience to sleep).

.Gives Frisk a bone instrument (a very tiny violon) to celebrate their friendship and shares some secrets with them, like the origin of the bells on his and his brother's horns and how hell used to be before the Queen left.

Genocide:

Same as neutral until he kills Frisk for the first time. He'll trigger a blizzard on the next playthrough to block the door leading to HOME, trapping the player in the empty ruins to observe their reaction. If the player manages to find another way out (or force their way out), Sloth will appear to them only as illusions, asking what they are and mocking them for thinking they can defeat what is already dead, nonetheless sans is willing to watch them try.

.Observes and creates illusions along the way to hinder Frisk. He reveals that sinners can't escape hell until they're freed from their sins, and that the player will undoubtedly end up in the hands of Pride, the King and Demon who rules over those with egos as big as the player's (=that's why he and the other Lords are just toying with the player, they don't see them as a real threat and nobody wants to double-cross the King anyway).

.He's not that bothered by the actions of the player, they're demons and it's hell after all. He might even enjoy watching this more than the pacifist run at first....

edit:

Hm.... Actually, maybe I should rename these. Something like : Redemption or Sinner route idk the expectations are different from canon UT, Demons are USED to killing and stuff. Even if one of them die, a new demon reappear. No, the real surprise would be if someone tried to do good for once, wouldn't it?

As I said, it's a WIP

PHEW, there you go. That was a lot, enjoy!

#undertale #ask #ask me #demon au #sans #undertale sans #utmv #utmv sans #demon sans #undertale art #undertale fanart

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago

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The House Guest 7

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: an old acquaintance calls in a favour, leaving you with an unexpected house guest.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You’re always wiped out after an episode. After the late-night paralysis, you don’t get much sleep. Your adrenaline dissipates but only leaves you tossing and turning. You surrender to the day as it softly rises through your window.

The mornings don’t come with bright sunshine this time of year. Instead, the gray horizon gets a bit paler. Your head feels just as dull as you emerge from your room, dragging your feet in your well-worn slippers as you rub your eyes.

You yawn as you walk blindly into the kitchen. You go through the automatic steps of brewing your coffee. Last night was strange. And then the open door--

Shoot. You almost forgot. As if he can sense the very thought of him, Bucky appears through the doorway. He pushes back his floppy hair and your eyes catch on his bulging bicep. The ripped tank top is stretched around his burly middle and he wears a loose pair of boxers. He’s entirely shameless.

“Coffee?” He growls.

You nod, “yep.” Your own voice is coarse and dry. You clear it and cross your arms as you lower your chin. You’re not wearing a bra and the morning chill makes that obvious. You shiver and sway as you wait for the drip to finish.

“Mm, you sleep okay?” He asks.

You wince and shrug. “You know, fine.”

“Fine,” he echoes. “You seem pretty freaked out.”

“You remember...” you rub your neck, your other arm still across your chest. “I get sleep paralysis. Really, it’s nothing.”

“Oh, shit, scary stuff.” He comments.

“Mhm, can be. But really, I’m good. It happens.”

You step forward and open the cupboard. You take down a mug, then a second as you peek over at him. He nods in silent gratitude. You close the door and back up.

“Think I’m going to have my coffee outside. Check on the bird feeder,” you say.

“Right...” he says, sniffing as he lingers behind you. “If I’m crowding you, you can just say so.”

“I will,” you assure him.

You pour your coffee and slip past him. It’s as if he makes no move to let you despite his previous sentiment. You stop by your room to get your robe and continue on through the back door.

The crisp air makes the steam of your coffee visible as you come down the steps. The yard is spacious and a low fence lines the barrier before the thicket of trees. You cross the grass, blowing over the cup as you near the hanging bird feeder. It’s empty and crooked on the chain. Damn squirrels. Could be the raccoons too.

You set your coffee down on the old wooden stool and return to the feeder. You focus on fixing it. You finally get it straight and go into the shed to grab the bag of seed. You set it at your feet and scoop out a healthy helping to dump through the roof of the feeder.

There’s a rustle in the trees and strange friction. You ignore it, assuming it’s nothing more than the wind. You really need a new feeder, this thing is going to tip again.

The chain link rattles and you pay no attention to it. The cold seeps up your robe and there’s a sudden thump and groan from the other end of the yard. You look over, expecting a raccoon, but find worse.

A black bear rolls around, trying to find its footing, and you can’t help the scream that erupts from you. You scramble away from the feeder, the sack of seed spilling over as that you just replenished does the same. As you turn toward the house, the back door opens.

Bucky is still in only his tank top and boxers. It doesn’t stop him as he rushes out. “What’s going--”

The bear lets out a growl and you hurry towards the house, “get inside!”

He doesn’t listen. As you reach him, he puts his arm behind you and urges you on, “lock the door.”

“Bucky, you can’t--”

“This thing’s gonna be at the backdoor all day if I don’t,” he snarls.

“Bucky--”

“I said get inside,” he rolls his shoulders and snaps his metal arm with a flex.

You don’t have the courage to refuse. It’s not just the bear’s growling, but his. He’s blunt and a bit monotone, but that lilt in his voice is dangerous.

You go inside and close the door. You hurry into the bedroom and look through the window as you hear Bucky shouting. You see him waving his arms at the bear, then stretching them out as if he’s about to grapple the beast.

“Hey, go! Get!” He tries to herd the bear along the fence, “Get outta here!”

You watch wide-eyed. He’s going to get himself killed. He grabs a log of split wood from against the shed and hurls it at the bear. It hardly flinches as it roars and charges him. You cry out as Bucky barely dodges out of the way.

He’s fast. Faster than you’ve ever seen someone move, yet it all moves in slow motion. They chase each other around. Bucky trying to lure the creature back into the bush and the bear swiping and charging.

When they clash, you hit the window. Shit. He’s a maniac!

You rush back out, not think and burst out the back door. Neither notice you as they have each other in a death lock. Bucky has his arm around the bear’s thick neck and the bear claws at his torso.

You take the feeder poll and pull it from the ground. You swing without hesitation and hit the bear in the snout and it roars. Bucky throws his weight back and both of them fall onto the ground. The roll together in a cluster of man and bear.

You strike again. This time you hit the bear’s paw as it swipes at Bucky, then its shoulder. Again and again.

“I said... get... inside,” Bucky grits through thick breaths.

“You’re going to get killed.”

“I’ve faced worse,” he sneers and brings his metal fist down on the bear’s head.

The bear yipes and unlatches from the man. He rolls over, wobbling on his furry legs, and bounds for the fence. He runs through it, bending the poles as he plunges back into the wilds.

You grip the feeder, the house ruined and the metal pole warped. You bend over to catch your breath as Bucky gets to his feet. He clucks and turns to stare out into the forest.

“You should have a bigger fence.”

“Gee, thanks,” you stand straight.

“You’re welcome,” he says. You glance at him. He’s almost smirking. You shake your head as he faces you. “Told you I could handle it.”

“You think,” your eyes skim down to the dark stain forming across his tanks top. The fabric is shredded along with his side.

“Paper cut,” he looks down.

“Are you serious? I’m calling an ambulance,” you toss the pole and turn to head inside. He catches your arm before you can leave.

“I don’t need it.”

“You’re bleeding all over,” you avoid looking at the gashes again. The claw marks make your nauseous.

“Listen, doll, I had my arm torn off my body. I can handle it. I need towels and rubbing alcohol. Oh, and beer.”

You stare him in the face, too scared to look anywhere else. His grip keeps you locked in place. You shudder and heave a breath.

“Fine, but don’t get blood all over my floors.”

“How compassionate,” he lets you go and puts his hand to his side. “We both know an ambulance would take too long up here.”

You nod and turn back to the house again. You offer no argument;0 you don’t have one. Even if he is being stupidly stubborn, he’s right. It would take at least an hour to even hear the sirens.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #series #drabble #the house guest #winter soldier #captain america #avengers #mcu #marvel

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sabine-smitten-obviously · 29 days ago

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Good Omens - Fanfic recs for March 2025 - Part 1 🤓👍

Follow along for short summaries and recs on the books i read🩷 The numbers are for funsies - i want to count my reads throughout 2025.

I only read finished stories and one-shots. You will find no WIPs in here. Also you will only find happy or at least hopeful endings here - i couldn´t handle anything else.

Also i try to find every author here on tumblr to link-to, but some times i am out of luck. If you happen to know them, please tell them, write to me in the comments or DM me and i will update the post!

Ratings in ()

Multichapterfics

36] Hired Heart (E) by @gaydemonicdesaster

Human AU: Aziraphale is 50, runs his bookshop, he has only recently discovered he is gay - and now he wants to explore. But of course it wouldn't be our beloved angel, if he didn't want to study first. Build some knowledge and confidence. So when his friend Agnes suggests contacting a high class escort, this seems like a good idea. You'll never guess, who this red headed escort might be. 😉 I have actually read that one already a year ago, but stumbled upon it again. A nice and hot fic with zero angst and stress in it, perfect to relax and unwind.🌶️🌶️🌶️

37] Heaven Sent (E) by @captainblou

Human Au, Crowley is an escort (yes, again 😆) and meets his patron Aziraphale. Now there are certain rules to working in this business ... And somehow this shy and lovely man makes it impossible for Crowley to stick to them. 🌶️🌶️🌶️

38] Shut up and kiss me (E) by @valesyart

Set after S2. When Aziraphale left, Crowley went to sleep. But his dreams somehow become more vivid than usual. As the author puts it: "porn with plot" 😉🌶️

39] Be Still, My Love, Be Still (E) by @entanglednow

Human AU - though not altogether ... After the fire in the bookshop, Aziraphale is set on replacing lost books. When he gets a new shipment of them, there is a small sketch-book inside with drawings of plants and flowers. And somehow the bookshop suddenly seems to be haunted by a ghost. Or more precisely, a sleep paralysis demon. 🩷

I so love this story, it is sweet, it is spooky, it is heartbreaking and it is hot. This is my absolute favorite of my march-readings and you should definitely try it!

40] Bleating Hearts (E) by @hkblack

Human AU, Dr. Aziraphale Fell is an English Literature lecturer, specified in Shakespearean works. When one day he finds a goat in his office, he is only even more surprised by the questions the handsome goat herder asks him. 🐐

A sweet fic with only a small amount of angst but a pageturner nonetheless. It is rated E but I estimate the plot-smut-ratio at probably 99:1 and the smut is skip-able. The banter and the goats are adorable! 😍

41] If you want to be bad (E) by @curiouswriterkr

Human AU, starting off in secondary school. When Crowley has a car crash, it's Aziraphale of all people to help him out. Crowley wants to thank him, but apart from helping him, Aziraphale doesn't want to have anything to do with him. Because Crowley and his gang are bullies. Years later, they meet again. But Crowley isn't the man he used to be.

Lots of pining, only a little bit of angst. 🫠 It is rated E but there is only one scene.

Oneshots

42] Such a comfort (T) by @SpectrallyDistracted

Set somewhere after S3/the second coming, Crowley wakes in the middle of the night to Aziraphale having a nightmare - again. It's been the same nightmare for years. Only this time his angel agrees to tell him about it. 🩷

43] The Tide rolling in (E) by @scullyphile aka @brenna

Crowley and Aziraphale take a walk on the beach. When Crowley asks Aziraphale what he would wish for if he could have anything, he is lost for words.

44] Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost (G) by @theoldaquarian

A collection of reviews on Crowley's flat, which has been let as an Airbnb.

This was actually the second time i read this story. What makes this one so funny is that we all know stuff about our angels, but of course to an outsider a lot of things might appear ... Strange. Very 🤣

45] Forever is for the morning (G) by @great-pan-is-dead

Set after the end of S1, an angel and a demon decide to take a nap in the bookshop. Just before dropping off each of them thinks about how different they'd imagined it.

So that's 45 fics so far, plus I read a thriller outside of GO this month, so I will count on from 47 next time for my little project. 🥳 As always, share the love with kudos, repostings and author-taggings in case I missed someone!

A friend of mine gifted me this sentence yesterday:

fanfiction is my happyplace. 🩷

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #fanfic #good omens fanfic rec #good omens fandom #crowley #aziraphale #good omens fanart #thank you for your fanfiction #fanfiction review #fanfics #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #fanfic rec #crowly x aziraphale #fanfiction is my happyplace #i read too much fanfiction #smutty fanfiction

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vixstarria · 1 year ago

Text

Confession, Astarion POV

This is the fluffiest thing I have ever written (or, most likely, will ever write). Consider yourself warned. Linked with my Astarion’s romance with bard Tav series, but very much a standalone as well.

Astarion x F!Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Bard Tav, soft Astarion, Astarion POV

Comfort, fluff, love confession, cuddling, banter, angst, non-explicit, no spoilers, tooth-rotting sweetness (after the first few paragraphs anyway)

Approximately 1,000 words

AO3

You were back in the dungeons. Darkness. Filth. The dreaded cold and the stench of old blood. He was there, as were your ‘siblings’. And so was she...

She writhed on the ground in agony. And you were useless. You couldn’t move a muscle, having been ordered to stay still, your body refusing to obey your will - all you could do was watch the horrible things that were being done to her. The only thing that could possibly make this worse, was if you could move, because you would only move as a puppet, obeying his commands.

“Fetch the pliers, Astarion.”

A terrible howl tore from the depths of your chest.

“Astarion... Wake up... It’s only a dream. It’s not real.” a hand was shaking you awake, and you opened your eyes to see her lying next to you, concern written on her face. Unharmed. In your tent.

Breaking free of the sleep paralysis was like trying to move with the weight of the ocean on you. Once you finally escaped it, you grabbed her, wrapping her in a bear hug and clutching her against your chest, and wordlessly rocked her, kissing her forehead, as though she was the one who needed comforting.

She must have guessed what your dream involved.

“I’m okay... I’m with you, my sweet.” she nuzzled into you, stroking your back.

“You were...” you couldn’t say it. “...Gods, that was the worst one yet. I couldn’t do anything.” You held her tighter.

“It’s not real. I know you’ll keep me safe... You always do...” she murmured into your neck.

If your heart could do anything but sit as dead weight in your chest, it would have melted.

Once you’d calmed and your breathing was back to normal, she lifted her head and planted a soft kiss on your lips.

“Awfully sentimental of you to be having nightmares about losing me.”

Back to laughing about everything...

At that moment you knew you’d finally had enough. You’d had enough of being coy and putting on a display of nonchalance, you’d had enough of turning everything into a joke, you’d had enough games, enough pretending. You said you wanted something real with her, and you meant it.

“I love you,” you whispered.

And just like that, it was out, and you lost all care about any self-restraint.

She grew still, and you slipped your hand gently over her mouth, just firmly enough to let her know you didn’t want her to say anything just yet, and rolled on top of her, tracing her face with kisses, repeating it over and over again in between, like a manic mantra.

“I love you... I love you...”

Tears sprang from her eyes, and you kissed them away, as your own tears fell onto her face, still repeating those words.

You wanted to live in this moment, for it to never end. If there was even the slightest chance that the next words out of her mouth were anything but reciprocation, you didn’t want to know yet. You couldn’t. You didn’t think you would survive it.

But you could tell she was smiling, and kissing your palm, and still you continued, kissing your way down her face, until you landed a kiss just at the corner of her mouth, whispering a final “Love you... so much” before removing your hand and catching her lips with yours, still not letting her say anything.

She returned your kiss, letting out the softest whimper, and she was clinging on to you in a tight embrace, so tight you could feel her heart like it was your own, beating wildly, and you knew, of course you knew, but you were still terrified, until...

“I love you too, Astarion,” she finally managed, breathlessly.

Your whole body shuddered in a sob. More than two hundred years... More than two centuries since you’d last heard those words in earnest.

“I love you too... Should I say it twenty more times as well?” she was beaming, her eyes still wet. Gods, had she ever looked as happy and beautiful as in this moment?

You breathed a chuckle, trying to recompose yourself.

“Would you? Please..?”

You lost all track of time, as you laid in each other’s arms, legs tangled, kissing, whispering and giggling like lovesick teenagers. Nothing had changed, really, yet somehow at the same time everything had. You knew it was silly, but were too happy to care.

“When did it start for you?” you asked, linking your fingers through hers.

“Do you remember that time near the risen road, when a bandit got close enough to have his knife at my throat?”

“You were hopeless in battle then, darling,” you nodded.

“...Thanks. Anyway, I thought I was done for. And then next thing I knew, you were on him, tearing out his throat with your bare teeth, spraying us both with blood.”

“I got disarmed and couldn’t get to my weapon fast enough, it was the only thing I could think of doing,” you admitted.

“And then you stared at me with that smirk of yours, licking the blood off your hand.”

“And you, instead of vomiting or threatening to stake me like Gale and Shadowheart, just stared back, looking impressed, and thanked me,” you chuckled.

“Yes, that was definitely the moment something stirred in me.”

“You asked if I wanted to help clean you up as well, you absolute freak,” you broke into a full laugh.

“I was joking,” she huffed. “...I think.”

“I know... But that was when I knew something was wrong with you in a way that I found absolutely delightful.”

More time passed.

You were still lying in an embrace and looking into each other’s eyes, whispering, when you started to hear movement in camp. You didn’t know how you were going to get through the day, it was as though everything but what you held in your arms had lost all meaning and importance.

“My Astarion... My sweet elf...” she murmured, running her fingers softly through your hair.

This is what you were to her. Not a vampire, not a killer, not an instrument or means to an end, or a personification of some deranged fantasy. But something so... unsullied. You couldn’t possibly even begin to conceive how that could be, and yet...

“My sunlight,” you whispered back.

~~~~~

Next in series - The morning after

Series master list

AO3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #astarion fanfic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfic

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