#slather that schmear on baby

[21st-century-minutiae]

Cream Cheese

Cream Cheese is a fatty dairy spread most commonly associated with bagels. It has a very mild cheese flavor, with a creamy profile distinct from butter. Cream Cheese usually comes 'plain', without additional flavoring, but it is easy to find flavored versions of it like Strawberry or Honey Nut or Vegetable Garden. Plain Cream Cheese easily goes with both sweet and savory items. Flavored Cream Cheese usually only works with one or the other. Cream Cheese is sometimes served with fish, such as in some varieties of American-style Sushi, or the traditional 'Bagels and Lox' breakfast item.

Cream Cheese is soft, and must be refrigerated. It can easily be spread with a knife. Unlike butter, it does not melt so quickly or harden so much with temperature range, but it does have some variance.

Cream Cheese (usually plain) can be used as an ingredient in desserts and baked goods, adding a sweet fat to the substance. Cream Cheese is a major component in Cream Cheese Frosting, which is commonly used in homemade cakes.

Cream Cheese used as a spread is also known as Schmear. Cream Cheese used as an ingredient in a dish is NOT Schmear. If you smear it on, it is Schmear. If you mix it in, it is not.

Your characters will be familiar with Cream Cheese, by all accounts. If they often have bagels for breakfast, they likely have cream cheese available in their fridge to make for a lazy, toasted breakfast. If they bake desserts, they may go through a lot of it. However, it is a relatively niche spread outside of those use cases. Butter is far more common a spread.

[jaimejoshi]

Things I’m Looking Forward To in 2017

There are like, seven million things that I am dreading about 2017 (95% of which have to do with the next administration), but here is the hope that will buoy me through this upcoming year: 

- ALL the travel. 

Boston is an amazing city and if it wasn’t goddamn cold in the winters, I would seriously consider moving there. Cartegena is going to be an incredible experience. Not only do I get to see two amazing people get married in Nashville, I get to go to Nashville again! You GUYS. Pimento cheese biscuits. My best friend is getting married in St. Augustine and there’s a solid possibility we can bring the dog with us and hopefully, we will be heading to New Orleans after Christmas. 

- Live music.

We just got back from seeing Kings of Leon in Boston and they were phenomenal. Every time I see that band, I love them more and more. Singing along to Radioactive feels like going to church and for an atheist who finds spiritual enlightenment in live music, that’s a pretty big deal. I’m hoping to catch them again at Okeechobee Music Fest but I might have Murtaughed out of that whole camping at a fest thing. I’m in my mid thirties, man. I’m way too old for that shit. We’re also seeing Coldplay in Miami this summer and I’m gonna see if I can get decent tickets to Bruno Mars because holy shit, that guy is a brilliant entertainer. I’m also looking forward to an excellent SunFest line-up this year and have already predicted that Ben Harper will be performing. Any takers on that action? 

- Rob Sheffield’s new book.

It called Dreaming the Beatles: The Love Story of One Band and the Whole World! It’s coming out April 25! There might be a book tour! I might go to New York! Oh my God, I might meet Rob Sheffield and make a total dipshit of myself! But I get to console my dipshittery with a bagel and a schmear from H&H! 

- Learning how to make bread. 

I want to make really yummy seedy/grainy bread for kickass FBLATs (faux bacon, lettuce, avocado, tomato) and herby-cheesy bread that I can give to people because people deserve bread. 

- Learning how to make salsas and moles. 

Condiments save dishes from mediocrity and first on my list is learning how to make lilli chutney - Mom’s cilantro chutney. I didn’t appreciate it growing up but as an adult, I want to slather it over everything. 

- Eating my weight in tortilla chips because there’s fresh salsa and mole to be had. 

Unfortunately, I haven’t found a good store-bought tortilla chip. I want something hearty, salty, yellow and crunchy. Suggestions would be welcome. 

- Barre/Yoga at least once a week because health and strength and aforementioned mountains of chip eating.

I’m not going to the gym. I’m just not. I hate running, I hate the treadmill and I can only stand the stationery bike because I can distract myself with a podcast while peddling. Barre, on the other hand? Love it. Love the fact that it’s only 55 minutes and I love the fact that it makes me feel stronger. Do not love the fact that it costs approximately eleven million dollars but since getting this RA diagnosis, I’ve got to start taking better care of my health.

- Valentine’s Day. 

Despite the fact that it’s smash-bang in the middle of season and he’s insanely busy, J always finds a way to make it feel really special. Last year, he made me gnocchi from scratch because understands that the way to his girl’s heart is through carbs and shitloads of champagne. 

- Not being on prednisone anymore. 

I haven’t taken an oral steroid in over a month and I don’t feel like dying! Shout out to Cleveland Clinic for their excellent medical care and support. I realize that I will never “get better” and that as I get older, this disease will get worse but the regimen that I’m currently on allows me to live my life in relative comfort and for that, I am so grateful. 

- Writing for pleasure more often. 

Because I am the luckiest bastard this side of the Mississippi, I write for a living but over the past couple of years, writing for pleasure has fallen by the wayside. Since Springsteen is The Light, The Truth and The Way in my life, I think it behooves me to listen to his advice - “I ain't here on business, baby, I'm only here for fun,” and get my ass back to writing my ass off.