#skz humor
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itsasilentreader · 4 months ago
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─ .✦ 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐁𝐅𝐅!𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠 📲
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: bff!jisung x reader
𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: humor/crack
𝙎𝙎: 12
𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: some curse words, mentioning of losing a grandparent, jisung has a lot of air in his head and is not using his brain 99% of the time
𝘼/𝙉: I got this idea because my bf sends me the most random shit he sees sometimes. So this is inspired by him and random dumb texts I found on pinterest.
⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
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Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.
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writingsphinx · 1 year ago
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#grumpy cat
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he said 😾
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hyunpic · 2 months ago
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not him trying to seduce stay to get drenched in water..
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banana-boatt · 2 months ago
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Jisung: I wanna wake up with you for the rest of my life.
Minho: I wake up at 4:30 am every morning for dance practice.
Jisung: I wanna consistently see you at some point for the rest of my life.
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My life. 😅
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skz-fanfic-recs · 7 months ago
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“don’t get too caught up in that shipping stuff,” seungmin warns from behind them. “or else you’ll end up like hyunjin, falling down rabbit holes watching shipping analysis videos at 1 in the morning and texting me to ask what are we?” hyunjin flushes a bright red. “the videos are convincing.”
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mangodemonss · 10 days ago
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“Streamer Things” (Jeongchan Oneshot) 21+
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Jeongin and Chan are professional gamer live streamers. They have been friends since middle school, Chan being a year older than the younger. Now together they live in an apartment, with the money they earned from streaming, and do streams full time. It first started off as a joke in the beginning of high school, but eventually they built a following who adore their content and their funny interactions. It has now been 4 years since they started streaming. As they were wrapping up their stream for the night they were reading the chat.
"Their all commenting Jeongchan." Chan said, eyes glued to the comments.
"Jeongchan?" Jeongin said tilting his head to the side.
"Yeah their ship name for us. Jeongchan." Chan replied.
"Aha...I see."
Jeongin couldn't admit it but he started developing feelings for the older since the start of high school. He always tried to burry them away as he didn't want to ruin their friendship. However, his feelings were to strong to ignore even after 4 years. Jeongin was about to begin college, Chan already being a first year student, and yet he couldn't get rid of his feelings for the other boy.
"Well okay guys we'll see you tomorrow." Chan said with a big smile waving at the camera.
"Bye!" Jeongin also smiled waving at the camera.
They then ended the stream. Making sure it was ended, Chan sighed leaning back in his chair.
"That was a good stream." Chan said stretching his arms above his head.
"Yeah..." He said in a dismal tone.
"Whats wrong?" Chan asked concerned for the younger.
"Nothing." He replied shortly.
"Oh come on Innie. Don't lie to me. I've known you for about 7 years. You know I know when you lie. So don't even try it." His tone becoming stern in the end.
Innie. To say Jeongin's stomach didn't flip when Chan called him that would be a lie. The boy enjoyed it when the older called him by that nickname...Maybe he enjoys it to much... Trying to stay calm and control the butterflies in his stomach he spoke.
"Nothing is wrong...I'm just…tired." Chan rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"Whatever, but you're gonna tell me sooner or later." With that he got up from his chair and left the room leaving Jeongin in their room dedicated to streaming. He started looking through the recap of the live chat from the stream they had just finished.
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P-A-S-T-A.PASTA: OMG they would be so cute as a couple
Tounge-Technology: YESS THEY WOULD #Jeongchansupremecy
I'm_good_boi: Totally agree they would be so cute
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Jeongin was so busy scrolling through the chat he didn't notice when Chan re-entered the room; standing right behind him reading the comments with as well.
"Only if he liked me back." Jeongin whispered under his breath.
"Ahem~" Chan cleared his throat causing the poor boy to jump up out of fear.
"Holy shit Chan! You almost gave me a heart attack." He said turning around to face the older.
"What was that I just heard hmm?" He said in a teasing tone moving closer to the younger trapping him between him and the desk.
"N-nothing Chan."
"Really? Then what did you just say Innie?" His voice becoming dangerously low.
‘Innie’
His stomach doing countless amounts of flips again.
"Chan I-"
Before he could finish his sentence Chan moved closer to the boy, leaning down to his ear and whispered in a growl, "Cause I thought you said 'if only he likes me back?" Backing away to see the flustered state of the boy; cheeks painted a light pink. "Is that what you said?" A smirk now being displayed on his face. Jeongin's brain couldn't handle the close proximity of the boy in front of him, nor his tone of voice that all he could do was nod. "I need words." He whispered staring straight into Jeongin's eyes without breaking eye contact.
"Y-yes." Jeongin barely managed to say. Panic starting to spread through him like venom. Worried that he just ruined their friendship. In a hurry Jeongin began to speak, "Chan I'm sorry I-I know you can't reciprocate my feelings but-"
Before he could say anything else Chan grabbed the back of his nape and brought the boy forward into a kiss. A slow and passionate one. Jeongin was very shocked and was wondering if he was dreaming or not. Stunned for about 10 seconds until he kissed back. His crush since high school, 4 years ago is kissing him right now. The feelings he tried to burry away for the older resurfacing all at once hitting him like a truck.
Chan lifted him up without breaking the kiss, Jeongin automatically wrapping his legs around the males waist, and carried him to his room laying him down on his back on the bed hovering over him. He began kissing the boys jawline making his way down his neck. Marking the boy with hickies under him as he let out soft whimpers.
They began to take off their clothes leaving them both naked. Chan kissing down his stomach making his way to his thighs biting them softly hearing the boy moan out in pleasure. Jeongin tangling his hands in Chans black curly hair. Moving back up the boys body to connect their lips again. This one being rougher as if both males were hungry for each others lips. Teeth clashing against one another. Jeongin letting out a soft whimper when Chan accessed his mouth with his tongue. The younger letting him explore until he pulled away.
"Please Chan. I-I need you." Jeongin begged. Reaching down to palm his fully erected member. With each second that went by it grew more painful to the touch. Chan pecked his lips and reached in his bedside drawer pulling out a bottle of lube. He coated his fingers generously before placing it at the youngest entrance.
"This might hurt a little." He warned.
"No it won't." Jeongin said chest heaving in anticipation.
"What do you mean No it won't?" Chan asked genuinely dumbfounded.
"I stretched myself out earlier." He said nonchalantly like it was a totally normal thing.
"Oh yeah? And how'd you do that?" He said with a sly grin rubbing and kneading Jeongin's thigh to keep him in the mood.
"With m-my dildo." His face turning red as he turned away from the older who had an amused look on his face.
"Please Chan...I just...need you." The older covered his member in lube and placed the tip at his entrance.
"Before we do this," Chan started in a soft tone, "if you feel uncomfortable or hurt in any way and need me to stop please tell me." His eyes showing nothing but care and protection for the younger.
"O-okay Channie." He said. Then Chan began to push in slowly. Jeongin's mouth becoming slack from the stretch.
He continued pushing in until he bottomed out.
"Hmm I thought you stretched yourself out earlier? You're tight." Chan said while kissing the boys neck before he moves.
"I'm not tight. Y-you're just big." Jeongin said slowly getting used to the new feeling. Sure he's fucked himself with his dildo countless amounts of times. However, Chan was way bigger than his dildo which was a shock to Jeongin.
After about two minutes of Chan kissing and marking the boy wherever he could, Jeongin spoke. "You can move now Channie."
Slowly he pulled out and pushed back in quickening his pace with every thrust. Jeongin emitting soft moans under him until he hit a certain spot causing the boy to scream and arch his back. "There Ch-Chan there!" Chan started thrusting in and out in a faster pace than before; loving the noises and cry's coming from the boy under him.
Chan went rougher leaving Jeongin completely defenseless. His hands gripping the sheets under him. His knuckles turning white. All he was able to do was choke out moans and sobs. Chan connected their lips again slowing down his pace kissing Jeongin slowly. The boy mewing against his lips.
"F-faster Chan." Jeongin whispered against his lips. Chan smirked as he bucked his hips up harshly into the boy making him arch his back once again breaking the kiss all sounds being caught in his throat.
"You're doing so good for me." Chan growled next to his ear, thrusting faster now. Every now and then changing his pace to tease the boy. Speeding up then slowing down. It made the boy beneath him wither slowly. After a while Jeongin felt a familiar feeling in his stomach.
"I-I'm cum-cuming-" Jeongin choked out between breaths.
"Cum for me Innie." Chan said breathing heavily. Jeongin didn't wait any longer to release. With a partial scream, eyes rolling to the back of his head in ecstasy; cum painted his abdomen and Chan's chest.
Chan continued to thrust into the boy beneath him chasing his high.
"Ch-Chan s-sen-sensitive." Jeongin barely whispered out.
"I know baby. Just a little-little longer okay?" He said the familiar feeling creeping its way into his stomach. "Can you do that for me?" Jeongin nodded eyes closing on him. Chan enjoying the view of the fucked out boy under him. His mouth agape, and body moving with every thrust. Sweat coating his forehead and chest. He just looked so fuckable in Chan's eyes.
"Hyung." He breathed out. Watching as Chan fucked him mercilessly. His hair sticking to his forehead. Beads of of sweat dripping down his body, trickling down his abs. The sight alone made Jeongin hard again.
Hyung. Jeongin never usually called Chan, "Hyung" so hearing Jeongin whine it out made something inside him snap. Chan fastened his pace feeling his high coming. Jeongin reached for the males back, clawing at it leaving marks and scratches. At that point there were no more sounds coming from Jeongin beside heavy breathing and pants. Chan slowly wrapped his hand around Jeongin's neck looking at the boy who stared back at him with hooded eyes; thrusting deep into the boy.
"I'm coming." Chan growled. The immense amount of pleasure was enough to make Jeongin come again with short breaths due to the lack of oxygen. His body coming on its own.
Jeongin enjoyed every second of it. The way Chan manhandled him. He loved every second of it.
After a few thrusts Chan finally came inside him with a long deep moan. Releasing his grip on the boys neck.
Jeongin able to take steady breaths now. He slowly rid out his high by gently rocking his hips back and forth into the boy beneath him who was shaking violently. When he finally pulled out he kissed Jeongin, who was completely dazed, on the forehead. He cuddled with the trembling boy and covered them with his blanket. "You did such a great job innie." Kissing every inch of his face.
"That was amazing." Jeongin said after a few minutes as he was slowly coming down from his high. That was the best orgasm of my life." He breathed out. Slowly regaining his composure.
"You mean orgasms?" Chan smirked.
"Shut up." He weakly lifted his hand to smack Chans arm; all energy drained from his body.
"Alright, alright. Do you wanna take a shower or sleep?"
"Well your cum is leaking out of my ass, and we're covered in cum."
"Shower it is." Chan slowly got up removing the blanket from the two of them.
"Can you carry me Channie?"
"Of course." Chan carried him to bathroom as they showered together. Cleaning the sweat and cum off of each other. They then changed into a fresh pair of pajamas and headed back Chan's room to change the bed sheets. He laid Jeongin in the bed and laid next to him once again covering them with a new blanket.
"I love you Innie." He said while cuddling the smaller boy kissing his neck. Seeing the beautiful hickeys he made starting to form.
"I love you to." He mumbled barely conscious, and within minutes they both fell asleep in each others embrace.
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Next Day
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Jeongin and Chan were doing their stream and chatting with the viewers.
"Alright that was a good round guys." Chan said.
"No it was not! You kept throwing me off of the building!" Jeongin retorted. The two starting to bicker like normal. The viewers enjoying drama. "Apologize for throwing me off the building." Jeongin pouted. The viewers going crazy for the adorable male.
"Okay I apologize for throwing you off the building...multiple times." Chan said sheepishly.
"Let's see...apology received...apology pending...apology approved." He said in an almost mocking tone while rolling his eyes. The both staring at each other seemingly getting lost in one another's eyes. The viewers catching on to their extended gazes. Until Chan turned back to the camera.
"Yeah so...Guys we actually have an announcement." They looked towards eachother and then back at the camera.
"Me and Jeongin are officially together!"
They both had wild smiles on their faces as they watched the chat go crazy.
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Hope-right-here: I knew one day they would be together!
Expensive/girl: YESSS I SUPPORT
International@playboi: Thanks for fueling my fake scenarios that could now be real.
Excuse_me~: ^^^^^ ayooo whaattttt??? I'm deceased
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"Well okay guys we'll see you tomorrow for another stream." Chan said reaching out to end the stream.
"Bye~!" Jeongin waved. Then they ended the stream. "So what do you-" Before he could say anything else Chan kissed him.
"How about round 2 then?" He said with a smirk lifting Jeongin up and out of their streaming room into his bedroom.
The boy protesting screaming and kicking. "Ch-Channie I'm s-sore!!!"
"We can work around that can't we now?" He said smirking.
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•The End•
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minsungincorrectquotes · 8 days ago
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Jisung: Well, well, well Minho: Jisung: Minho: ....what? Jisung, pointing behind Minho: A well
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the-meme-archive · 1 month ago
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cherryeol04 · 4 months ago
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Untouched (M)
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➻ Pairings: Minho x Hyunjin x Changbin
➻ Genre: Established Relationship, Romance, Smut
➻ Additional: Fantasy AU, cucking, threesome
➻ Word Count: 915
➻ Warnings:
 ➻ Author’s notes: Fae Hyunjin is at the mercy of Sea Serpent Minho, forced to please the other man while his husband, human Changbin, watches. While being degraded and told how worthless his cock is, Hyunjin is also forced to admit how much better Minho is at fucking him - how good Minho makes him feel. This story is cross posted on multiple sites under the same username!
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“Fucking worthless.” Minho hissed into Changbin’s ear at the same time as he slapped his weeping cock, pulling a strangled cry from the human. He had been hard for so long now, time lost within the confines of the bedroom. It had all been his idea - he had practically pleaded with Hyunjin. He never thought it would turn out to be this good. “Pay attention, stupid human.” There was no venom to the words, but they served their purpose nonetheless - another moan falling from Changbin’s lips as he tried to focus his gaze on the other male, vision slightly obscured by his tears.
“Mmm, that’s better.” Minho hummed, his slitted yellow eyes raking over Changbin’s naked form. He gave another slight appreciative hu, but just as quickly as the attention had turned to Changbin, it was gone. Minho’s strong, broad back was turned to him - pale skin glinting a greenish hue as the light reflected on the near translucent scale patches. Human form or natural form, the sea serpent was gorgeous. A perfect balance of neutrality and Changbin’s first and only pick for this game.
The older male made his way back to the bed where Changbin’s equally gorgeous husband, Hyunjin, was laid out for them, cock hard and achingly red, twitching every few seconds with need. Changbin’s eyes moved to Hyunjin’s hole, currently stuffed full with a vibrator. “Look at you.” Minho swatted at the toy, watching it wiggle from side to side as Hyunjin squirmed, back arching as a broken cry filled the room. “Feel good, baby?”
“Y-yes.” Hyunjin panted out, fingers curling tightly in the sheets underneath him.
“Better than what your husband’s pathetic excuse for a dick can make you feel?”
Changbin shifted in his chair, a needy moan leaving him as Minho’s words went straight to his cock. Hyunjin lifted his head towards him, eyes searching and all Chafngbin could do was nod in reassurance. He wanted this - so fucking bad did he want this. Given the green light, Hyunjin’s head fell back on the bed as he nodded.
“Words.” Minho warned, smacking the toy again, and again Hyunjin cried out with a squirm.
“Yes!  ‘S so good.” he whined and as if to prove his point, precum oozed from the tip, slowly sliding down the underside of his cock. “Minho, please.” he begged.
“Please what, darling?”
“Fuck me. Want to cum.” Hyunjin whimpered.
“Aw, poor baby wants to cum. Should let you husband fuck you.” Minho blinked a few times as he stared down at Hyunjin before sneering. “I’m sure he wouldn’t know what to do ith his dick if he was given the chance.” Slender fingers wrapped around the base of the vibrator and Minho began fucking Hyunjin with it. The beautiful fae thrashed on the bed, desperate cries falling from pretty pink lips as more precum leaked from his tip. The sight was intoxicating and it took all of Changbin’s willpower to not touch himself. 
“Look at this, Binnie.” Changbin jumped when the attention was back on him. Minho’s eyes were boring holes into his soul and he felt like prey to a hungry predator. And he was. Minho was a dangerous predator, but Changbin trusted him. “This toy can fuck him better than you ever could.” 
Changbin squirmed, a needy whine escaping him as his muscles flexed with restraint. His cock twitched nearly uncontrollably as it leaked copious amounts of precum. The head was an angry red and Changbin felt like he was at the edge, barely hanging on. “I-I-” changbin started, but the pointed glare Minho shot him shut him up instantly.
“Oh fuck! Oh god!” Hyunjin’s cries of pleasure went straight to Changbin’s dick, eyes locked on the way Minho rotated and grinded the vibrator inside of Hyunjin. Hyunjin’s breathing became shallow and rapid, toes curling as his body arched and jerked. “Minho!” Hyunjin’s body shook as the pleasure reached its breaking point. With one last cry, Hyunjin painted his stomach white with long sticky ropes of cum.
Changbin’s own orgasm took him by surprise, cock throbbing as he came all over his stomach. The rush was hot - breathtaking. His head fell back, eyes clenched shut as he drowned in the ecstasy of his release. Changbin was left a shaking mess as he slowly started coming down from his high, reality slowly coming back to him. As soon as he had enough wits about him, he realized Minho was by his side, stroking his hair gently and his lap was filled with his glowing, needy husband. He dragged his arms forwards, wrapping them around Hyunjin’s waist. The fae nuzzled into his neck, and Changbin smiled lightly, pressing a kiss to his Hyunjin’s head.
“You did so good, baby.” Changbin whispered, and Hyunjin tilted his head up to stare at the other. 
“Really?” 
“Really. So perfect.” Hyunjin beamed at the praise, snuggling himself closer to the other.
“And you did so well for us.” Minho praised, taking Changbin by surprise. His cheeks flushed a light pink, but he tried to ignore it. “Was it to your liking?”
“It was more than I could have asked for. It was amazing.” Changbin turned his head to look back at the other. “You were amazing. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Minho hummed softly as he watched the two. “Call me anytime you want to do this again,” he offered.
“How about next week?” Hyunjin asked with a grin, giggling when Changbin choked on his own spit.
“It’s a date.”
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Tags:  @jisungsjheekies@luminouskalopsia@sauceracha@hanjisungismybaby@kiwibaekie@imbonibi@jiwlys@army-of-carats@peachmilkcloud@letterstoskz@lauraneuuh@babyskz@slinekyu@feedthefandoms995@rejemi@halotopicecream @skzmonster @jumunnaa @serendipityryn @eastleighsblog@hydrawaterdragon@3rachasninja@haileybugulug@luvyev
( If you want to join the list, you can find the info here! Also I’m sorry for those listed in the tags but not getting tagged. For some reason tumblr can’t find your blog to tag. I’m hoping it figures it out soon like it did for others.)
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zerillia · 20 days ago
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A little bit ironic dont ya think..
Felix: My life is so unfair.
Hyunjin: Life is so good.
..They do say opposites attract though!
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the-fly-on-bangchans-wall · 6 months ago
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"shit, the boys need me for the album...i'll text you later, jagiya❤️"
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banana-boatt · 2 months ago
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Jisung: *strokes Minho’s hair lovingly* Minho: You know you’re going to ruin my reputation if you keep this up. Jisung: Then get off my lap. Minho: No.
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shroomiethefrogwhisperer · 6 months ago
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Guys. Guys. Minsungsexual.
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I am fricking dead.
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skz-fanfic-recs · 7 months ago
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“do you think he’s gay?” "look at how many rings he has on. of course he’s gay.” 
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deepthoughtsallday · 7 months ago
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I’m not sorry
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