#skz humor

[itsasilentreader]

─ .✦ 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐁𝐅𝐅!𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠 📲

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: bff!jisung x reader

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: humor/crack

𝙎𝙎: 12

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: some curse words, mentioning of losing a grandparent, jisung has a lot of air in his head and is not using his brain 99% of the time

𝘼/𝙉: I got this idea because my bf sends me the most random shit he sees sometimes. So this is inspired by him and random dumb texts I found on pinterest.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲����𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

[writingsphinx]

#grumpy cat

he said 😾

[hyunpic]

not him trying to seduce stay to get drenched in water..

[blinkstay4life]

Jisung: I wanna wake up with you for the rest of my life.

Minho: I wake up at 4:30 am every morning for dance practice.

Jisung: I wanna consistently see you at some point for the rest of my life.

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

My life. 😅

[skz-fanfic-recs]

“don’t get too caught up in that shipping stuff,” seungmin warns from behind them. “or else you’ll end up like hyunjin, falling down rabbit holes watching shipping analysis videos at 1 in the morning and texting me to ask what are we?” hyunjin flushes a bright red. “the videos are convincing.”

[dreamydelulu]

The seat

Genre: Humor, fluffy

Sorry about any grammatical/ortographic mistakes. English isn’t my first language.

-

The whole group was excited for their weekly movie night. They all gathered in the living room, each member eyeing the couch and the few comfortable armchairs available. It was a tight fit with nine members, but everyone usually managed to find a spot somehow and be comfortable in their own way.

Jiwon and Jeongin, being the maknaes of the group, were no exception to this rule. They always ended up fighting over the last seat left, and today was no different.

"The seat is mine!" Jeongin declared, diving for the last spot, only to be met by the younger's quick response.

"Knock it off, that's my spot! I've been eyeing it since morning!" The younger's eyes fixed on the prized seat.

Jeongin, equally determined, retorted, "No way! I had my eyes on it before you even woke up! It's mine!"

Jiwon pouted adorably. "But I was here first!" he whined, his big doe eyes pleading innocently.

Jeongin raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly does 'being here first' translate into claiming ownership of the sofa?"

Jiwon shrugged "Because... well, it just does," and then he continued complaining, pouting, “hyung, It’s not fair. You always get everything your way."

Hyunjin, in his usual sarcastic tone, chimed in, "Oh boy, here we go again."

Minho, always quick with a mischievous remark, added, "Someone grab the popcorn. This is better than any movie!"

Their banter quickly escalated into a playful argument, each claiming their right to the coveted seat. “Let’s do It fair, then, 'll race you for it!" Jeongin challenged, his competitive side showing.

Jiwon smirked, agreeing with it. “You're on! Let’s do it."

As they dashed towards the couch, the other members couldn't help but laugh at their antics. "You guys are ridiculous," Felix chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

Changbin couldn't help but chuckle at their never-ending rivalry. "Come on, guys, there's always the floor."

Both of them shot him deadly looks before turning back to their argument.

"The floor? Are you kidding me?" Jeongin protested. "No way!"

Jiwon huffed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I can't even stretch out properly like this!"

Bangchan attempted to mediate, "Why not share the seat, then?"

But their competitive spirits were too ignited. "No way!" Jiwon exclaimed, "This is a battle of honor, hyung!"

"You two should really grow up," Seungmin muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes, shaking his head in exasperation as he sat down on the couch.

At the end Jeongin managed to win the seat being faster than the maknae and with a victorious grin, he celebrated. "Hah, take that. The seat is mine!"

“Not fair, hyung! You cheated,” Jiwon accused and pouted, crossing his arms, sulky.

“You lost because you’re just too slow, won-ah. Accept it,” Jeongin teased.

The other members burst into laughter, unable to contain their amusement.

Felix chimed in again, chuckling entertained. "Come on, you two, stop fighting. It's just a seat."

Bangchan, trying to play peacemaker. "Yeah, there's plenty of room on the floor with blankets and cushions."

“But the couch is more comfortable,” Jiwon whined dramatically in a grumpy way.

“Wony, grab your dramatic ass and come sit here with us already, stop whining” Changbin patted the spot next to him on the floor, teasing, enjoying this too much.

“Yeah, Jiwon,” said Jeongin with a mischievous grin, with spreading on the couch. “Listen to your hyung.”

The maknae couldn’t help but let out an exaggerated sigh in defeat, but his stubbornness wouldn’t let him give up so easily. “Well, I guess this leaves me with no other choice, then.”

And without saying a word, he just sat on Jeongin’s lap, while crossing his legs as if it was a seat.

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Hyunjin chuckled, amazed by Jiwon's audacity.

Jeongin, bewildered but entertained, couldn't help but laugh at Jiwon's antics "Hey, that's cheating!"

"Technically, I didn't take the seat," Jiwon retorted with a grin, reveling in his small victory.

The room erupted in laughter as their maknae settled onto Jeongin's lap comfortably, and the others, still flustered, could do nothing but roll their eyes and shake their heads.

"Well, problem solved, looks like wony found a better seat," Changbin declared, entertained.

Jeongin was taken aback, momentarily stunned by Jiwon's unexpected move.

"That's not fair!" he protested, trying to hide his amusement.

Jiwon playfully patted Jeongin's head and teased, “Life is not fair, hyung.”

Felix, unable to contain his laughter, added, "Oh, come on, Jeonginnie! You got outsmarted by the maknae!"

Jeongin huffed pretending to be annoyed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright, I’ll accept it. But just this time.”

Later, while watching the movie:

Everyone was finally settled in their spots while watching the movie, finally in peace. But, of course, their maknaes wouldn’t let it last for too long.

“Yah, hyung, stop moving so much,” Jiwon complained, the room no longer being in silence anymore. “You're going to make me fall.”

Then Jeongin quickly answered, crossing his arms, “Well, it’s because you’re in my lap. You're not like a feather, you know.”

“And here we go again,” Seungmin announced, rolling his eyes.

“Guys, come on. Can’t we just watch the movie without you two being at each other’s throat?” Bangchan said, trying to mediate their non-stop bickering (but failing miserably).

Jiwon and Jeongin, their faces turning slightly red, exchanged embarrassed glances but continued to argue under their breath. Jiwon mumbled, "I should've taken another seat."

Jeongin retorted, "You're the one who wanted to sit here, anyways!”

As the teasing continued, Minho couldn't resist joining in on the fun. With a mischievous grin, he leaned over to Jiwon and said, "Next time, I'll let you sit on my lap, Wony."

Jiwon's eyes widened in surprise, and he blushed even deeper. “U-um, thanks, hyung.” he stammered, not knowing what to say exactly, being caught off guard.

Jeongin, with his competitive spirit kicking in, spoke up, his tone laced with jealousy. He retorted, "Wait a minute! You can’t just offer that, hyung!"

The room burst into laughter as Jeongin, trying to save face, added, "I mean, it's my lap he should be sitting on!"

Felix burst into giggles and poked fun at Jeongin, "Jealous, are we?"

Jeongin's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red as he tried to defend himself, "N-no, It’s not that! I'm not jealous! It's just... well, it's different!”

Jisung couldn't help but chime in, "Oh, is that how it is? Fight for your man, Jeonginnie!"

Jeongin's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red as he grumbled, "I'm not fighting for anyone!"

Jiwon, still blushing, decided to have some fun with the situation. He turned to Jeongin with a mischievous smile and said, "Well, maybe I'll take Minho-hyung up on his offer next time."

Jeongin's eyes widened, and he quickly retorted, "You wouldn't dare!"

Felix, still grinning, decided to tease Jeongin further, "Aw, I think someone's being possessive of Wony!"

Jiwon, caught in the middle of this amusing situation, couldn't stop himself from giggling. He playfully wrapped an arm around Jeongin's shoulders and said poking the other’s cheek, "Don't worry, innie, you're still my favorite," making the others burst into laughter and making Jeongin blush even more.

Jeongin’s jealousy melted away as he blushed at Jiwon’s words, and the other members couldn’t contain their laughter at the whole exchange. It was another moment of playful teasing that made their movie nights so enjoyable.

“W-wathever,” he stammered.

Jisung, grinning ear to ear, leaned over and whispered to Minho, “Well, that escalated quickly.”

Minho nodded, trying to hold back his laughter. “I guess we’ve found Iyen’s weak spot.”

The playful atmosphere continued as the movie played on, with Jiwon and Jeongin sharing a knowing look and secretly enjoying the friendly banter among their fellow members.

-

Author note: you guys must be tired of It, but as I said. I love Jeongin and Jiwon’s love-hate dynamics, and makes me having a bunch of ideas to write about It. I’ll try to explore later with others the members too, feel free to make any request if you have ideas to share with me ;)

[cherryeol04]

Untouched (M)

➻ Pairings: Minho x Hyunjin x Changbin

➻ Genre: Established Relationship, Romance, Smut

➻ Additional: Fantasy AU, cucking, threesome

➻ Word Count: 915

➻ Warnings:

 ➻ Author’s notes: Fae Hyunjin is at the mercy of Sea Serpent Minho, forced to please the other man while his husband, human Changbin, watches. While being degraded and told how worthless his cock is, Hyunjin is also forced to admit how much better Minho is at fucking him - how good Minho makes him feel. This story is cross posted on multiple sites under the same username!

“Fucking worthless.” Minho hissed into Changbin’s ear at the same time as he slapped his weeping cock, pulling a strangled cry from the human. He had been hard for so long now, time lost within the confines of the bedroom. It had all been his idea - he had practically pleaded with Hyunjin. He never thought it would turn out to be this good. “Pay attention, stupid human.” There was no venom to the words, but they served their purpose nonetheless - another moan falling from Changbin’s lips as he tried to focus his gaze on the other male, vision slightly obscured by his tears.

“Mmm, that’s better.” Minho hummed, his slitted yellow eyes raking over Changbin’s naked form. He gave another slight appreciative hu, but just as quickly as the attention had turned to Changbin, it was gone. Minho’s strong, broad back was turned to him - pale skin glinting a greenish hue as the light reflected on the near translucent scale patches. Human form or natural form, the sea serpent was gorgeous. A perfect balance of neutrality and Changbin’s first and only pick for this game.

The older male made his way back to the bed where Changbin’s equally gorgeous husband, Hyunjin, was laid out for them, cock hard and achingly red, twitching every few seconds with need. Changbin’s eyes moved to Hyunjin’s hole, currently stuffed full with a vibrator. “Look at you.” Minho swatted at the toy, watching it wiggle from side to side as Hyunjin squirmed, back arching as a broken cry filled the room. “Feel good, baby?”

“Y-yes.” Hyunjin panted out, fingers curling tightly in the sheets underneath him.

“Better than what your husband’s pathetic excuse for a dick can make you feel?”

Changbin shifted in his chair, a needy moan leaving him as Minho’s words went straight to his cock. Hyunjin lifted his head towards him, eyes searching and all Chafngbin could do was nod in reassurance. He wanted this - so fucking bad did he want this. Given the green light, Hyunjin’s head fell back on the bed as he nodded.

“Words.” Minho warned, smacking the toy again, and again Hyunjin cried out with a squirm.

“Yes!  ‘S so good.” he whined and as if to prove his point, precum oozed from the tip, slowly sliding down the underside of his cock. “Minho, please.” he begged.

“Please what, darling?”

“Fuck me. Want to cum.” Hyunjin whimpered.

“Aw, poor baby wants to cum. Should let you husband fuck you.” Minho blinked a few times as he stared down at Hyunjin before sneering. “I’m sure he wouldn’t know what to do ith his dick if he was given the chance.” Slender fingers wrapped around the base of the vibrator and Minho began fucking Hyunjin with it. The beautiful fae thrashed on the bed, desperate cries falling from pretty pink lips as more precum leaked from his tip. The sight was intoxicating and it took all of Changbin’s willpower to not touch himself. 

“Look at this, Binnie.” Changbin jumped when the attention was back on him. Minho’s eyes were boring holes into his soul and he felt like prey to a hungry predator. And he was. Minho was a dangerous predator, but Changbin trusted him. “This toy can fuck him better than you ever could.” 

Changbin squirmed, a needy whine escaping him as his muscles flexed with restraint. His cock twitched nearly uncontrollably as it leaked copious amounts of precum. The head was an angry red and Changbin felt like he was at the edge, barely hanging on. “I-I-” changbin started, but the pointed glare Minho shot him shut him up instantly.

“Oh fuck! Oh god!” Hyunjin’s cries of pleasure went straight to Changbin’s dick, eyes locked on the way Minho rotated and grinded the vibrator inside of Hyunjin. Hyunjin’s breathing became shallow and rapid, toes curling as his body arched and jerked. “Minho!” Hyunjin’s body shook as the pleasure reached its breaking point. With one last cry, Hyunjin painted his stomach white with long sticky ropes of cum.

Changbin’s own orgasm took him by surprise, cock throbbing as he came all over his stomach. The rush was hot - breathtaking. His head fell back, eyes clenched shut as he drowned in the ecstasy of his release. Changbin was left a shaking mess as he slowly started coming down from his high, reality slowly coming back to him. As soon as he had enough wits about him, he realized Minho was by his side, stroking his hair gently and his lap was filled with his glowing, needy husband. He dragged his arms forwards, wrapping them around Hyunjin’s waist. The fae nuzzled into his neck, and Changbin smiled lightly, pressing a kiss to his Hyunjin’s head.

“You did so good, baby.” Changbin whispered, and Hyunjin tilted his head up to stare at the other. 

“Really?” 

“Really. So perfect.” Hyunjin beamed at the praise, snuggling himself closer to the other.

“And you did so well for us.” Minho praised, taking Changbin by surprise. His cheeks flushed a light pink, but he tried to ignore it. “Was it to your liking?”

“It was more than I could have asked for. It was amazing.” Changbin turned his head to look back at the other. “You were amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Minho hummed softly as he watched the two. “Call me anytime you want to do this again,” he offered.

“How about next week?” Hyunjin asked with a grin, giggling when Changbin choked on his own spit.

“It’s a date.”

Tags:  @jisungsjheekies@luminouskalopsia@sauceracha@hanjisungismybaby@kiwibaekie@imbonibi@jiwlys@army-of-carats@peachmilkcloud@letterstoskz@lauraneuuh@babyskz@slinekyu@feedthefandoms995@rejemi@halotopicecream @skzmonster @jumunnaa @serendipityryn @eastleighsblog@hydrawaterdragon@3rachasninja@haileybugulug@luvyev

( If you want to join the list, you can find the info here! Also I’m sorry for those listed in the tags but not getting tagged. For some reason tumblr can’t find your blog to tag. I’m hoping it figures it out soon like it did for others.)

[the-fly-on-bangchans-wall]

"shit, the boys need me for the album...i'll text you later, jagiya❤️"

[shroomiethefrogwhisperer]

Guys. Guys. Minsungsexual.

I am fricking dead.

[deepthoughtsallday]

I’m not sorry

[genderisnot]

me eating anything be like:

[blinkstay4life]

Felix: check it out! i got us matching bracelets!

Hyunjin: are those handcuffs?!

Felix: never leave me.

[patchfoot10]

Theory

okay hear me out. what is skz is just one big octuple? cause we see them all getting… friendly with each other, and it’s not just a few of them. not it’s the whole group. either they’re all dating or they’re EXTREMELY fruity men. maybe both? who knows?

[skz-fanfic-recs]

“do you think he’s gay?” "look at how many rings he has on. of course he’s gay.” 

[dreamydelulu]

Shower Surprise

After an exhausting day filled with intense dance practice sessions that had left everyone drained yet satisfied with their progress, the group finally returned to their dorm. With the other members occupied elsewhere in the living space, Jiwon felt like he had the bathroom and the warm embrace of a hot shower all to himself. The cascading warm water seemed to wash away the fatigue and tension from his body, and he closed his eyes to fully immerse himself in the soothing experience.

As the tension in his muscles began to melt away, Jiwon couldn’t resist humming a soft melody, his calm voice filling the bathroom. It was a rare moment of solitude and relaxation that he cherished, especially as the newest member of the group.

Little did Jiwon know that his moment of privacy was about to take an unexpected turn. Unbeknownst to him, the bathroom door had silently creaked open, and one of his fellow members, Minho, had entered without a second thought. Minho, always nonchalant and accustomed to the camaraderie among the group, strolled into the bathroom as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Hey, Jiwon," Minho began casually, his voice echoing in the tiled space, "did you happen to see my-"

Before Minho could even finish his sentence, Jiwon let out a high-pitched scream, reaching a note that no one knew he was capable of hitting. It was a startled sound that even startled himself. In a split second, he covered his private areas with his hands, his face turning several shades of red as embarrassment washed over him.

"…Hairbrush," Minho finished his sentence, blinking in surprise by the unexpected reaction.

Realization hit Jiwon like a tidal wave, and his face flushed an even deeper shade of crimson. "Hyung!" he squeaked, his voice cracking in embarrassment. Still clutching his hands to his chest, he sputtered incoherently, his face contorted with a mixture of shock and embarrassment. "Wh-what are you doing here, Minho-hyung?" he finally managed to stammer out, his voice trembling.

Minho shrugged nonchalantly. "I couldn't find my hairbrush, and I thought it might be in here." He then spotted the hairbrush right where he expected it to be and casually picked it up. "Oh, there it is."

"Hyung, I'm naked!" Jiwon interrupted, his eyes wide with shock and embarrassment. His hands remained firmly in place, covering his modesty, as he tried to make sense of the unexpected situation.

Minho couldn't help but chuckle at Jiwon's mortified state. "Well, yeah, I can see that," he replied in a nonchalant manner, as if they were discussing the weather. "I mean, it's a shower, after all."

Meanwhile, the commotion had not gone unnoticed by the other members, who had heard Jiwon's scream and were now gathering around the bathroom door, their curiosity piqued. Felix couldn't help but chuckle as he joined in, saying, "What's going on in here? Did Jiwon see a ghost or something?"

Added Changbin with a mischievous grin, "Or maybe he's just practicing his high notes for the next comeback?"

Jisung, the master of cheeky remarks, couldn't resist joining in. "Wow, Wony, can you do that high note again? Maybe we should add it to our next song."

Seungmin noticing all the commotion, trying to hold back his laughter, chimed in "Yeah, you're like a natural soprano!"

Hyunjin, with an amused smirk, commented, "Well, this is an interesting new way to practice, isn't it?"

Jiwon buried his face in his small hands, whining, not quite sure how to handle the situation. The bathroom had suddenly become the center of attention, and Jiwon felt exposed in more ways than one. "Hyungs, please, I need some privacy."

Minho finally relented, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Relax, Jiwon. We've all seen each other in various states of undress before. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, Jiwonnie, it's like a bonding experience. You're officially part of the club now." Felix teased, excitedly.

Despite his embarrassment, the maknae couldn't help but let out a nervous small laugh. "I guess so," he mumbled, still not entirely comfortable with the situation.

Bangchan, trying to play the responsible one, said, "Alright, everyone, let's give our maknae here some privacy."

Jeongin, who had joined the mess, couldn't resist a sly comment. "Maybe next time, won-ah, you should lock the door."

Jiwon, now thoroughly embarrassed, wished the floor would swallow him whole. He hadn't expected his private moment to turn into such a chaotic scene. He muttered under his breath when everyone finally left, "I'm going to hide forever."