#skin clinic in green park

[skin-care-in]

Visit Metamorphosis to Brighten Up Your Skin at the Leading Skin Clinic in Green Park

Metamorphosis, the best skin clinic in Green Park, can help you improve your skincare routine. Their team of skilled professionals specializes in advanced skin-rejuvenating and transforming procedures. They customize their method of treatment using modern technology and personalized attention to match your specific needs, whether you're looking for solutions for acne, aging, or general skin care. 

All set to shine? Make an appointment with Metamorphosis right now to discover the full potential of your skin. 

[melocarewellness]

 Permanent Makeup Studio in Delhi | India

Exploring the Permanent Makeup Studio in Delhi to get Permanent Makeup, Anti-Aging, Laser Treatments, and More

"Delhi, the bustling heart of India, is not just the political capital but also a burgeoning hub for beauty and skincare services. With a myriad of options available, finding the perfect clinic that meets your specific needs can be overwhelming. Whether you're considering permanent makeup, anti-aging treatments, laser skin procedures, or lip fillers, choosing the right clinic is crucial for achieving desired results safely and effectively. For those interested in long-lasting beauty solutions, seeking out a Permanent Makeup Studio in Delhi can provide the expertise and quality you're looking for."

What is Permanent Makeup?

Permanent makeup, also known as micropigmentation, involves implanting pigment into the skin to enhance facial features such as eyebrows, eyelids, and lips. This technique offers a long-lasting solution to conventional makeup, saving time and effort in daily beauty routines.

Benefits of Permanent Makeup

Time-Saving: Eliminates the need for daily makeup application.

Long-Lasting: Results can last for years with minimal touch-ups.

Natural Look: Enhances natural features subtly and beautifully.

Convenience: Ideal for people with busy lifestyles or physical limitations.

Permanent Makeup Studio in Delhi

Melocare has established itself as the premier Permanent Makeup Studio in Delhi, renowned for its exceptional artistry and innovative techniques in the beauty industry. At Melocare, clients can expect a transformational beauty experience, where each treatment is tailored to meet individual preferences and facial features. The studio's team of skilled professionals is dedicated to upholding the highest standards of safety and hygiene, ensuring a comfortable and satisfying session every time. Whether you're looking to enhance your eyebrows, lips, or eyeliner, Melocare provides meticulous attention to detail to achieve flawless, long-lasting results. By choosing Melocare, you are not just enhancing your beauty; you are investing in a touch of permanence that simplifies your daily routine and boosts your confidence.

Skin Clinic in Delhi

Services Offered by Skin Clinics

Skin clinics in Delhi offer a variety of treatments, including acne treatment, skin rejuvenation, pigmentation removal, and more. These clinics employ advanced technologies and personalized care to address various skin concerns.

How to Choose the Best Skin Clinic

Credentials: Check the qualifications and experience of the dermatologists.

Reviews: Read patient reviews and testimonials.

Facilities: Ensure the clinic is equipped with the latest technology.

Consultation: Look for clinics that offer comprehensive consultations.

Anti-Aging Clinic in Delhi

Understanding Anti-Aging Treatments

Anti-aging treatments aim to reduce the signs of aging such as wrinkles, fine lines, and sagging skin. These treatments include Botox, fillers, laser therapy, and chemical peels, among others.

Benefits of Visiting an Anti-Aging Clinic

Expert Care: Treatments administered by experienced professionals.

Personalized Plans: Tailored treatments to suit individual skin needs.

Advanced Techniques: Utilization of the latest anti-aging technologies.

Laser Skin Clinic in Delhi

Types of Laser Treatments Available

Laser treatments can address various skin concerns such as acne scars, pigmentation, unwanted hair, and skin tightening. Common types include CO2 lasers, Q-switched lasers, and diode lasers.

Advantages of Laser Treatments

Precision: Target specific skin issues with high accuracy.

Minimal Downtime: Quick recovery compared to traditional surgery.

Effective Results: Visible improvement in skin texture and appearance.

Lip Fillers in Delhi

What are Lip Fillers?

Lip fillers are injectable treatments that enhance the volume and shape of the lips. Commonly used fillers include hyaluronic acid-based products like Juvederm and Restylane.

Procedure and Safety

Consultation: Initial assessment to understand desired outcomes.

Injection: Administered by a trained professional using fine needles.

Aftercare: Instructions on managing swelling and maintaining results.

Celebrity Aesthetic Clinic in Delhi

What Makes a Clinic a "Celebrity" Clinic?

Celebrity aesthetic clinics are renowned for their high-profile clientele and exceptional services. These clinics often set trends in the beauty industry with their innovative treatments and impeccable standards.

Services Offered at Celebrity Aesthetic Clinics

Exclusive Treatments: Cutting-edge procedures not widely available.

High Privacy: Ensured confidentiality for all clients.

Luxury Experience: Premium facilities and personalized care.

Melocare: Elevating Beauty Standards in Delhi

When it comes to beauty and skincare, Melocare stands out as a premier destination in Delhi. Renowned for its comprehensive range of services and state-of-the-art facilities, Melocare is committed to delivering exceptional results and personalized care. With innovative treatments, expert professionals led by Dr. Megha Nagpal, and a luxurious experience, Melocare ensures that each client receives tailored and effective solutions for their skincare needs. Choose Melocare for unparalleled excellence in aesthetic care in Delhi.

Conclusion

Delhi offers a plethora of beauty and skincare clinics catering to various needs, from permanent makeup to advanced anti-aging treatments. Choosing the right clinic involves considering factors such as the expertise of professionals, the range of services offered, and patient reviews. By doing thorough research and opting for reputable clinics, you can achieve your desired beauty and skincare goals safely and effectively.

FAQs

How safe are laser skin treatments?

Laser skin treatments are generally safe when performed by qualified professionals. Ensure the clinic uses FDA-approved lasers and follow post-treatment care instructions to minimize risks.

Can I get natural-looking results with lip fillers?

Yes, natural-looking results can be achieved with lip fillers when done by experienced practitioners who understand facial symmetry and proportion.

What should I look for in an anti-aging clinic?

Look for an anti-aging clinic with experienced dermatologists, advanced technology, positive patient reviews, and personalized treatment plans.

Are celebrity aesthetic clinics worth the hype?

Celebrity aesthetic clinics often offer top-notch services and advanced treatments. If you seek exclusive procedures and high standards of care, they can be worth the investment.

[gojosoath]

the world underneath your skin — toji fic

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns)

tags: romance x ANGST x like a SHIT TON OF ANGST x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au) x action x smut x sub!toji x handjob! x light bondage w/cuffs x whiny!toji

warnings: alcoholism x self harm (Y/N self harms, i do NOT mean this in any way implying that the reader (you) do this. and that if you have struggled/or are struggling with self harm, this is a major trigger warning. as someone who personally has struggled with self harm, i know how sensitive the topic is) x death (only characters' death from manga is toji's wife and megumi)

summary: After spending most of his life as an underground hitman for desperate means to support himself financially — Toji Fushiguro gets recruited to work as an assassin for the government due to his his mastered skills. Through his new occupation, Toji struggles with muscle pains and is recommended to see a massage therapist. Toji meets Y/N, who becomes Toji’s massage therapist, and the two realize they both have toxic addictions they hide from daylight; Toji’s alcoholism and Y/N’s self-harm. Along the way, Toji and Y/N can’t seem to stay away from each other despite the darkness that threatens to keep them apart. 

Table of Contents // my ao3 // taglist form

taglist: @sakinotfound ;@nanamingojo; @bubs-world ; @saskamo

a/n: sorry for how long it's taken me to update. i have a thing for seeing strong men on their knees, whimpering and begging. can't help it.

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: alcohol usage

Part 6: Bad Boy (wc: 5.2k)

Your ass is sore and red from the punishment you received from Toji. Whenever you were getting dressed or going into the shower, you’d turn around to view the pink hand imprints on the fat of your ass. Your cheeks would match the color of your ass at the remembrance of being splayed over Toji’s lap as his large, calloused hands spanking you. You got into the habit of before work masturbating to the memories of Toji being ball deep inside you. It couldn’t be helped, this man had you wet at just the thought of him; his black, raven hair, green eyes, the scars on his body…

Work went as per usual; multiple appointments, and chatting with your patients as you massaged their bodies. You couldn’t help but wish it was your scheduled day with Toji but that would come at the end of the week. Once you were done with all your appointments, you closed up your clinic.

As you were locking the front door of the clinic, the sound of tires on the gravel made you freeze up. The lights of a car reflected in the glass door of the building, making you blind for a split second. You turned around, your hand still holding the keys in the lock. You swallowed thickly, heart hammering against your ribcage. Who could it be this late at night? Especially after closing time.  The car door opened, and someone stumbled out. You still couldn’t make the figure out as the car headlights were too bright. Your breathing had become shallow, your body tense and in the mode to run away if you needed to. The car backed up and drove out of the parking light. The dark figure that had stumbled out rose to their legs and walked towards you. Midway, they fell to the ground, and once on the floor you caught their face in the dim light; Toji. You rushed over to him, hands placed on his shoulders. Your nostrils burned from the heavy smell of alcohol on him. He wore a white button-up that was undone halfway, his muscled chest exposed.  “Toji,” You breathed out, “are you okay?”  “Sorry…” He slurred, looking up to meet your gaze. His eyes were glossed over, there was light stubble that had grown on his face. He gave you a lop-sided smirk, his knuckles coming up to your cheek, “Hey doll, I missed ya…”  “You’re drunk,” You stated the obvious, helping him get up — but this was hard considering how much bigger he was than you. You two stumbled in the process, but you managed to get your arm around his waist. He leaned against you, causing you to set your hand on his chest so he didn’t completely fall over you which would result in taking you down with him. Your hand on his bare chest prompted that fluttering sensation to attack your insides. You could feel the imprint from one of his scars splayed across his chest. 

“We’re going to walk to my car, okay?” You advised, cautiously taking a step forward to see how he would react. Thankfully, he managed to follow your steps. When you two got to your car, you opened the passenger door and helped him get into the seat. The weight of his head made him lean to one side, having to push him back in, “No, no,” You alerted, “please don’t fall,” you prayed out loud. In the process of trying to buckle him up, you knocked him on the side of the head with your elbow. You rubbed where you had hit him, apologizing. 

Toji responded with incoherent mumblings. You finished buckling him in, it felt strange to be handling a grown man like a baby. In no time, you were in the car and driving to your apartment. It was then that the realization struck you; where were you even taking Toji? In the state he was in, there was no way he’d be able to instruct you to where he lived. You heaved out a sigh and decided the best thing would be to take him back to your place. 

The same process happened while trying to get Toji up to your place; stumbling, incoherent mumbles from him, holding onto him to your best so he wouldn’t fall over. When you finally got him into your place, you set him on your couch. Your cat, Willow, made her way to where Toji was placed.

“Don’t worry, he’s nice,” You said to Willow, “what do you think of him?” 

Willow sniffed the top of Toji’s head and then proceeded to jump off the couch. You took off your coat and set aside your purse with your keys. You made sure to also take out his phone and keys out of his pocket, setting them onto the coffee table. You were back by Toji’s side with a glass of cold water in your hands. He was wasted, but you hoped you’d be able to somewhat sober him up. 

You helped him sit back up by pulling at the sleeve of his button up. The glass was brought to his lips, “Come on, let’s drink,” You tried to encourage even though you knew he wasn’t comprehending anything you were saying to him. You cradled the back of his head with your palm when tipping the glass upwards. Toji didn’t reciprocate your act of assistance, the water spilling down his chin and neck. His eyes were closed, and his breathing seemed more shallow. Panic struck you, setting the glass onto the coffee table and putting your ear to his lips. He was still breathing. But he didn’t seem okay. How much had he drunk? 

You got up to go to your bathroom, turning on the shower to cold water. And then you went back to get Toji on his feet and over to the shower. When it came to getting him into the bathtub, it resulted in both of you tumbling in — the cold water of the shower immersing the two of you. You felt Toji’s body jolt against you, which made you relieved. You sat up and patted your hands against Toji’s cheeks.

“Hey, it’s me,” You said through chattering teeth, “come on, love, look at me.” 

Toji trembled under the water, making you reach back and turn it off. His white shirt soaked through, his defined abs showing through the material as it stuck to his skin. Droplets of water fell from the ends of his black hair. Finally, Toji opened his eyes and the first thing he said to you was; 

“It’s fucking freezing, doll.” 

You let out a breathless laugh of relief, “Let me get you a towel, be right back,” You got out of the bathtub, soaking as well. You came back with a towel and wrapped it around him. You helped him get out of the bathtub, but this time, he wasn’t stumbling like before. You took him to your room, having him sit at the edge of your bed. You knelt before him, rubbing the towel over his head. Toji’s fingers wrapped around your wrist, making you stop; looking at you with great intensity. 

“You worried me,” You thought out loud, “I was scared.”

Toji shivered, you noticed Adam’s apple go up as he swallowed before speaking, “No one’s ever taken care of me this well.”

His words plucked your strings, it rang inside of you, like music. You stood up, going over to your closet to try and find him some clothes. “How much did you drink today?” You looked through the racks of your clothes, knowing damn well you had nothing in there that would fit him. Your hands were shaking from how cold you were yourself (and also because of Toji). 

“A couple of glasses,” Toji responded nonchalantly. You scoffed, pulling out a sweatshirt that used to belong to a guy you used to hook up with, “That’s bullshit.” You turned back around, Toji was unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and taking it off. You averted your gaze back to the sweatshirt you held in your hands, clearing your throat, “You know that our appointment isn’t for another few days, right?”

Toji rubbed the towel against his hair and let it drop into his lap, “What can I say? It’s becoming hard to be patient.”

His words always had a way of making you flutter. You said in a quiet voice, “You scared me, Toji,” You could feel tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. 

“You saved me,” Toji returned. You turned back around to face him and sure enough, he was smiling. He added with more playfulness, “I’m at your service, Miss L/N.” 

You threw the sweatshirt at him and he caught it in time with his hands, “Take off your clothes.”

“Oh?” He cocked an eyebrow, “Impatient, as always.”

You grabbed your laundry basket, “No, I need to wash your clothes,” You stuck the laundry basket out for him and he chuckled deeply. He put his white long sleeve in the basket, followed by his black pants which took struggling attempts to get them off. 

“Keep the underwear on,” You told him before his hands could move to the waistband of his boxers. 

He kept his tease on, “Why? You won’t be able to resist?” 

You huffed, “Toji, shut up.” 

“Ooh,” Toji pretended to be hurt by your words and put the sweatshirt on. It fit him perfectly. You walked out of your room and put his clothes into the washer, your cheeks burning up from him taking his clothes off moments ago. You were determined to not show him that he’s got you flustered, though. When you came back into the room, Toji remained seated at the edge of your bed. You leaned against the doorway, arms crossed over your chest. 

Toji extended his arm out with the towel in his hand, “Let me dry you.”

“Why?” 

“Because you’re wet,” Toji answers, “and also, because I’m at your service. After all, you saved me.”

You walked towards him, “I get to decide how you’ll be of service to me,” you sat beside him on the bed and Toji threw the towel over you, rubbing your hair. 

Toji says, “Your clothes are wet, you should change as well.”

You state with sharpness in your tone, “I don’t want to.” 

Toji takes the towel off of you, his fingers coming up to your face where he tucks damp strands of your hair behind your ear. “Why not, kitten?”

You feel tears burning your eyes again, “Because you worried me! You show up at my clinic completely wasted as I’m closing up. Are you going to tell me what happened?” 

Toji sighs, “I wanted to see you.”

You shake your head, pushing his hand away, “Don’t give me that,” You snapped at him, “tell me what happened.”

“I had a little too much to drink,” He remarks. At his mention of drinking too much, it’s then when you notice a fresh hickey on the side of his neck. You don’t know how you didn’t notice it earlier. Toji is aware of your observation and before he can open his mouth to say something, you beat him to it.

“Is it related to work?” 

Toji is silent, you can’t read the expression on his face. His hand finds your face, cupping your cheek, “I did work today, yes.” 

You want answers — no, you’re desperate for answers. You knew that what you and Toji had between the two of you was physical pleasure. But why did it feel like you needed to know details about him? 

“Tell me,” You say. 

Again, Toji sighs, “You don’t want to know anything about me.” 

You persist, “Why not?”

Toji comes back with, “Because I’m a boring, old man.” 

This time, you wrap your fingers around his wrist and claim sternly, “If you don’t tell me truthfully, I’ll have to punish you.” Toji’s green eyes slightly widen at your gallantness — you had caught him completely off guard. His voice is low, “Punish me?” 

In a heartbeat, you respond with, “Yes.” 

Toji runs his thumb over your bottom lips, “Why is that?” His eyes flicker down to them. 

“Because you’ve been a bad boy,” You allure, adding, “a very bad boy.” 

Toji cocks his head to the side, amused, “How will you punish me?” 

In a whisper, you say, “If you don’t answer me honestly, then you’ll find out.”

Toji is smug as he professes, “I’m intrigued, I’ve never been punished before.” 

You bring his hand down away from your face, standing up, Toji’s gaze following your every move. “When I’m done with you, you’re going to tell me what happened. Understand?” You grab his chin, tilting his face up towards you with your lips a breath away from his. You can feel the way his breathing has changed, pupils dilated as they look into yours. His breath fans against your lips, as desperately as you want to devour him, you can’t. Not yet. 

“You’ll have to punish me very hard, then,” Toji whispers. 

You let go of his chin and walk back over to your closet, “Lay on the bed for me,” You order, kneeling to look for what you had in mind. You find the handcuffs alongside a ribbon and turn back around, where Toji had obeyed your orders by laying on the bed. You go back over to the bed, get on it, and crawl over to him. You straddle over his lap with your legs on either side of his hips. You can feel how hard he already is underneath you but you don’t acknowledge it. 

“Oh, you’re kinky, aren’t ya?” Toji comments as you take his hand, clasping the handcuff around on one wrist and then the other. You finish it off by binding the handcuffs to the headboard of your bed with the ribbon. You look down at the man that lays beneath you; this man that radiated confidence and strength was now at your mercy — and you loved it. 

“This is how you will be at my service,” You tell him, cupping the side of his face, “but you talk too much for my liking.” Your other hand goes to your pants which are still wet and slip them down, throwing them to the side once they’re off. You follow it by taking your panties off, too and proceed to shove them into Toji’s mouth. 

Your thumb traces small circles on his cheek, “Aww,” You coo at him, “much better.” 

Toji tries to speak, but his voice is muffled with your panties stuffed in his mouth. He looks at you with hooded eyelids, his chest going up and down. You place your pointer finger by the corner of his eyes and run it alongside his face, “You look so cute like this, you know that?” 

You notice the tone on Toji’s face, a light blush of pink adorning his tan skin. You lean back, cocking your head and humming in thought, “Wonder how I should punish you…” your fingers move to his neck, wrapping around it, his eyes widening. You lightly grasp the sides of his neck, his eyelids fluttering close at the sensation. 

“Oh my,” You delight at him, “you’re so sensitive when you’re like this.” He responds by opening his eyes, his nostrils flaring as he breathes heavily through them. You lean into him, your lips ghosting where his pulse flutters crazily. “If you had just been honest with me,” You purr into him, “you wouldn’t be tied up like this.” You lean back, smiling at him and letting go of his neck. You press more weight off your crotch against his hard dick underneath you. At the sensation, Toji lets out a groan that shifts into a whimper when you begin to rub your crotch against it. 

“Don’t even think for a second I’m going to let you cum,” You assert grimly, “bad boys like you need to be taught a very good lesson.” 

You have no idea how you even had this in you. In all your sexual experiences, it was always you on the receiving end of being dominated. You had never dominated any one of your sexual partners. And the fact that you were doing it with the man who had your wrists tied up last week is beyond your comprehension. Your hands go to the hem of his sweatshirt and you push it up, exposing his defined abdomen. 

Your hands splayed across his torso, looking at him through your lashes, “I don’t just want to punish you — I want you to fucking cry, Fushiguro.” 

You feel Toji shiver at your words — he whines. It makes you want to drool but you know you have to keep up your persona for this to work. His jaw clenches at biting down your panties that fill up his mouth. You move back, your hands now on his boxers. His hard dick forms a tent against the fabric, your palm his erection which causes his hips to lurch upwards. 

You lightly slap his thigh, and he brings them back down. You look back at him, he looks at you helplessly. It drives you crazy, how exposed and vulnerable he appears. You recite his words, “Let’s see how wet you are,” You pull down his boxers, his hard dick springing up and falling against his lower abdomen. Just as you expected, the head of his dick is dripping with precum. You pull down his boxers all the way and put them to the side. 

“Disgusting,” You spit out, “an old man like you getting hard over a young woman like me?” Your hand goes to his heavy balls, his hair dark and curly — which is undeniably cute. “You’re such a pervert, Fushiguro,” You cup his balls, resulting in Toji throwing his head back against your pillow, moaning. “If you’re this sensitive already, I think you might just cum if I put your dick inside my pussy.” 

Toji’s cheek is pressed to his shoulder, practically heaving through his nostrils. You then grab his dick in your hands, earning another moan from him. You lean down, grabbing your hair and moving it to one side of your shoulder. You look up at him, locking gazes with him, and give him a single lick with your tongue to his hard, dripping head. 

Toji’s bottom lip quivers, his wrists pulling at the handcuffs but he has nowhere to go. He is restrained to the bed, right where you want him. It makes you laugh, “I never knew a man like you could enjoy something like this.” Another kitten lick to the head of his dick, “I’m still not convinced that you should cum, though.” You let go of his dick, dropping back to his lower abdomen. You sit up, arms crossed over your chest, “Convince me,” You tell him, “why should I let you cum?”

Toji’s voice is muffled, and you crawl over him until your face is above his. “Let me help with that,” You take your panties out from his mouth,  there’s drool at the corners of his lips.

“Let me cum,” He breathes out, “please.”

You shake your head, “That’s it? Not very convincing, old man.”

His green eyes are clouded with lust and overstimulation, “Please,” He tries again, “give it to me. Whatever it is, I can take it,” he rambles in a gravel voice, “please, doll. Whatever you do, as long as you make me cum, I’ll be happy.” 

You taunt him, “But why do you deserve to cum? After being such a bad boy tonight?” Toji huffs in annoyance, and you grab his face with your hand, fingers pinching his cheeks. In a leveled tone, you say, “I haven’t even punished you yet and you’re already this impatient?” 

Toji swallowed thickly, you let go of his cheeks, “I deserve it because I’ll be a good boy for you,” He deciphers, his tone desperate, “I’ve never had anyone do this to me. I want you to punish me. Do it. Punish me until I’m crying and then give it to me. I deserve it because I’m the only one that will make you cum the hardest in all your life. Fuck every man you’ve slept with, I’ll fuck your brains out for the rest of your life. I promise.” 

You’re melting on the inside, you want to crash into him, kiss him on the mouth and shove his dick inside you. But you can’t. Not until he’s crying. So you shove the panties back into his mouth, making him gag at your harshness. You give his cheek a peck before shimmying back down to his waist. You grab his dick and run your finger from the bottom to the top, where you press the flat of your thumb against his leaking, hot slit. This makes Toji’s eyes cross, there’s sweat building up at his temples. And you do this a couple of times, applying pressure to the head of his dick and then lifting your thumb from it. It has him panting through his nose, his dick becoming a darker shade of red. 

You give his dick a little slap with your hand, and he whimpers, “Count, Toji,” You command, “if you lose count, we’ll have to start over.”

Toji muffles against your panties, “One…”

“Good boy,” You tell him, “you worried me so much tonight,” You’re lightly fondling his balls, only giving him teasing light squeezes. You give the tip of his dick another light slap. His thigh muscles tense up.

“Two!” Toji moans. 

“Showing up drunk like that,” You shake your head, “did you think there wouldn’t be consequences to your actions?” 

Slap!

“Three!” 

“It’s a shame no one has ever punished you,” You run your finger down his dick, his body shuddering. You notice for the first time a throbbing vein that runs down his shaft. It’s so pretty. His body feels so hot underneath your touch, “Because they’ve never been able to see just how beautiful a strong man looks when they’re tied up.” 

Slap!

“Four…” 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Your fingers wrap around his hard length and drag your hand at an astonishingly slow pace. 

Toji cries against the gag, even though it’s incoherent, you can tell he’s not keeping count of anything. You stop your movements, causing Toji to lift his head, his chest heaving up and down frantically. 

“What is it?” You jibe with an innocent smile, “What’s wrong, baby?” Toji’s eyes roll to the back of his head as you press your thumb back on his wet tip, “We’re only at four slaps and you look like you’ve had enough. Remember when I took six spanks from you?” When you don’t get a response that satisfies you, you give his dick another slap. Toji doesn’t keep count, he is groaning. 

“Oh?” You let his dick fall back onto his lower stomach, “You poor, poor baby,” You make your way back over to being on top of him. When you’re closer to him, it’s then when you notice his eyes glossed over with tears, salvia on his chin. You take the panties out, he pants against your lips. 

“Make me cum!” He mewls, “Please, doll. Make daddy cum.” You never thought you’d hear him in such a despairing state. It almost made you dizzy. Now you understood the high people got from being dominant. 

“No, I’m daddy here,” You remark with a smirk, “and besides, you lost count.”

You hear your bed frame creak as Toji fights against the cuffs, “Please,” His deep voice cracks, “I want it, mommy. Please, please!” 

You are about to push him further but it’s then that Toji completely breaks down. You smile wider at him calling you ‘mommy.’ His green eyes are completely glossed over. Your thumb wipes at one of his tears falling down the side of his temple, “There we go,” You whisper, “there’s so pretty tears.” You reach between the space of your bodies and wrap your fingers around his dick. You stroke him, sending Toji’s eyes to go cross-eyed. 

“Fuuuck!” He drawls out, “Fuck, doll…” 

“Mmh,” You press your lips right below his jaw. It’s the opposite side of his fresh hickey. You move your kisses down until it's at his neck and suction your lips around the skin as you pump him harder and faster. 

Toji curses between moans, “Yes, mommy,” He whines, “yes, yes! Just like that!” 

His dick feels hot in your hand, you can tell he’s close. You keep sucking at the skin of his neck while your pace fastens. Toji’s hips buckle forward and his body is trembling, letting out a deep groan as you feel his warm cum paint your hand. 

Toji’s eyes clenched shut at the pure bliss running through him, “Fuck, fuck,” He exhales, “feel so good, kitten.” 

You pull back and look down at him, his eyebrows are furrowed as he finishes cumming. “Such a slut,” You patronize him, “you know that?”

Toji gasps when your hand keeps stroking him after finishing. You let go, his dick beginning to soften up. Toji pleads in a whisper, “Kiss me, please.”

Before you do, you say, “Only because you said ‘please,’” and you press your lips against his. Your tongues overlap, swirling. Saliva builds up at the corner of your mouth as well. Your hands move to his head, fingers lacing in between his hair strands. He tastes slightly like alcohol, even a little bit like cigarettes. But you love it. You can smell him, his sweat, his arousal. He’s at the grace of your fingertips, quite literally. You want to break him again, again and again. And then you want to put him together, again, again, and again. You don’t know why but you just do. You find your hips grinding against his upper torso, the friction giving you pleasure against your clit. 

You snap out of it when you remember why you even brought him to a breaking point, pulling back. Toji gives you a yearning look from the space between you two. “Now tell me the truth,” You say, breathless, “what happened earlier tonight at work that made you drunk.” You wrap your fingers around his neck again, lightly squeezing, “I punished you, now you answer truthfully.”

Toji answers in a breathy tone, “I escorted someone.” 

You apply pressure to his neck, and he looks at you with half-lidded eyes, “Did something happen?” 

He clenches his jaw, “We had sex if that’s what you mean—”

You cut him off, “You know that’s not what I mean,” You warn, “answer me, honestly, Toji.” 

His eyes flicker to the side and then back over to you, “I drank before the appointment.” 

“Why?” 

He closes his eyes, slightly shaking his head, exhaling through his nose. “It helps with getting through the appointment.” 

This time, your tone is softer, “Why?” 

Toji is silent for a moment, and instead says, “Why do you want to know?”

“Because you interrupted my night by being the little slut you are,” You note sharply. 

Your comment makes him smirk, breathing out a laugh, “I can’t help it. Might just do it again if it means getting punished like this—”

You interrupt him again, but this time by shoving two of your fingers into his mouth. His eyes widen, and he chokes on your fingers. You pull them back out as if they weren’t even in his mouth, to begin with. 

Through clenched teeth, you say, “Answer. The. Question.” 

Toji coughs, his eyes scanning your face, “I don’t want to remember,” He discloses, his voice strained. “I don’t want to remember any of it. That’s why.”

Your hand lets go of his neck, feeling that knot in your stomach tighten. His words feel like a knife to your skin. Resonating too deeply with you that it makes you want to break open and sob. And you do. Your shoulders are shaking, your cheeks are wet, and tears fall onto Toji’s face. You're heaving, choking on your cries that feel like they’re going to break your bones. 

A look of deep concern is displayed on Toji’s expression, not sure how to even respond. He’s still handcuffed to your headboard and all he can do is look at you. He says, “Miss L/N, it’s okay.” 

You sniffle, bringing the back of your hand across your eyes. Still crying, you uncuff Toji, his wrists falling. He prompts himself onto his elbows, with you still in your lap. You catch Toji off guard for the hundredth time tonight, as you engulf him in a hug. His face is in your neck, it’s then when he realizes his wrists are sore from the strain of the handcuffs. Toji is frozen for a moment, not sure what to do or react. You’ve calmed down, and Toji hugs you back, giving your neck a chaste kiss. 

Your guys’ hug is interrupted by a phone ringing. The two of you turn to look and see that it’s Toji’s phone ringing forming the living room. You get off his lap and Toji grabs his phone from the coffee table. You’re waiting by the living room entrance, arms crossed over your chest. 

“I’ve gotta take this,” Toji grumbles, and steps outside of the room and into the bathroom. “Shiu,” Toji answers the call.

“We’ve got an assignment,” Shiu states, “they want it done in a couple of hours.” 

“Who is it for?” Toji asks. 

“It’s the woman you’ve been assigned to,” Shiu explains. 

Toji grits his teeth, the woman he had been assigned to escort the last couple of times. He ends the call and comes back into your bedroom, “I need to go,” He says curtly. His demeanor has changed, no longer is he the helpless man who was begging to cum not that long ago. 

Another cut at you — it hurts you so much to hear him say he needs to go. You want to ask him to stay, but something tells you that if you do that, he wouldn’t stay. You slip your panties back on, the ones that were in Toji’s mouth. They’re wet against you from his pathetic salvia. You go over to your washing machine in the hallway and take out his drenching clothes that still were in the middle of a cycle wash. You shove the clothes into his hands, dripping. 

Toji notices your changed attitude as well, he wants to kiss you on the cheek and tell you that he’s not leaving because of you. But he could never tell you what he does for a living. What he’s been doing his whole life to make needs met. Toji wrings out his clothes in your bathroom over the bathtub and changes into them. They’re uncomfortable and hard to put on but he has no other choice. Toji walks into the living room where you’re waiting for him at the front door that’s already open for him. 

Toji wants to reassure you, he can see it on the look on your face — that you’re pissed off at him. His hand comes up to your face in hesitation, and before it can meet your cheek, you place something in his hands; 

Toji takes a look at his palm; it’s his apartment keys. He was going to leave without them, Toji was always attentive when it came to small things such as that. 

You bid him farewell bitterly, “Grab a cab.” 

Toji does the only thing he can do to somewhat reassure you, “I’ll see you at the appointment, Miss L/N.” And he leaves your place. 

[tarisilmarwen]

RobStar Week 2023, Day 4 - Missing

(Set during "How Long Is Forever" because apparently I like hurting myself.)

---

The gears near the ceiling rumbled as he stepped into the dimly lit room. Nightwing didn't blink, his eyes already adjusting.

He made a clinical sweep, glancing in each of the corners of the room to check for hidden threats. Satisfied for the moment that nothing had gotten past his security system, he made his way to the computer control on the far wall.

His boots echoed emptily in the hollow space, dull echoes bouncing off the surfaces. Aside from his footsteps and the occasional hiss of steam, it was oppressively quiet.

With a flick of a hand on the console the system booted rapidly to life, cool blue artificial light falling across his face. The camera feeds arrayed themselves on the topmost bank of screens, showing silent snow-covered angles of Jump City. His OS waited for his input, blinking green cursor in the DOS window that had auto-opened on the screen.

Nightwing reached for the keyboard. He happened to glance at the other icons on the desktop.

His hand stilled, hovering over the space bar.

He stared, confused, at the small red circle imposed over the shortcut for the messaging app.

The little dot stared back at him for a long moment as his mind blanked out, bewildered.

He had a message?

He never got messages.

Cyborg was the only one who still had his contact info and in all the years he'd been set up here he had never...

He was frozen for a portent minute. Warily, he moved the cursor to hover over the icon.

He hesitated for one second longer before he clicked it.

The message opened. It was from Cyborg, like he'd thought, and consisted of a single line:

You were right. She's back.

Nightwing gaped at the words, uncomprehending for a tense eternity. His eyes widened abruptly, the dawning realization of what Cyborg meant hitting him like a bowling ball.

Yanking out his desk chair, he sat down and flipped through camera feeds, flashes of the city blipping one by one in rapid succession as he searched.

Downtown business district, nothing. Central Park, nothing. The abandoned factory section, nothing.

Finally, he found an angle that showed a flying streak floating over the city. Breath hitching, he adjusted the programming of his surveillance system, directing it to track the anomaly.

The system filed through a few different cameras before one caught a close enough glimpse.

The air left his lungs like his breath had been punched out of him. His back hit the chair solidly as he sat, gaping, a vice of emotion squeezing around his throat.

Vibrant red hair. Orange skin. Purple garments accented with metal bracers.

His heart was sputtering, like it had forgotten how to beat. He could hear his pulse loud in his ears.

It couldn't be...

Starfire.

His head spun, sitting there dumbly, just watching her as the cameras tracked her across the city. With a rush, he hurled forward, typing out a reply to Cyborg.

When? was all he managed to get out, before his impatience made him smack the button to send.

The wait between the response seemed interminable.

A new message blipped.

She's looking for Warp. She's trying to set things right. She needs help.

Frantic fragmented disjointed thoughts collided in his head, but his body was moving automatically, sliding to another panel, scanning for chronol distortions. Within minutes he was on Warp's trail.

Long buried emotion threatened his composure, rising up like heat in his face, stinging his eyes. He clamped down on the surge, shoving it back under the lid he kept all his feelings under.

Focus, he told himself.

Cold professionalism dropped over him again, as he leapt from the seat and stalked back out. Though his body was charged up with adrenaline he kept it controlled, his face as expressionless as ever.

The biting chill of the outside air clawed at his face, scraped his lungs as he moved silently across rooftops. Nothing slowed him down. He didn't stop to think. If he stopped moving, he would start to double-guess, question himself. He had to keep going fast enough that the grief couldn't reach him.

At the same time, he pushed back against the warm spark starting to pop inside his chest, the faint flickerings of hope. He was just going to check this out, that was all. Investigate Cyborg's claim. He couldn't afford not to. He'd promised he would never stop looking.

He made it to the last location his scanner had pinged Warp's tech at. It was an open boulevard, and there were two figures there, unusual since these roads were usually empty and abandoned these days.

One wore gold-plated armor. Encased helmet, black slacks. Nightwing would know him anywhere. Warp. The other...

A sharp splinter of hot iron felt like it stabbed up through his stomach, piercing his heart and lungs. His limbs pumped faster; he leapt from the roof to the street below, his only goal to reach her before the blast charging in Warp's weapon did.

Robotically, he flung himself at Warp, anger burning under his sternum that the man would dare raise his hand against her again. The villain weighed practically nothing to the surge of strength flowing through him; as soon as he found his feet he was throwing Warp down an alleyway.

Warp hit the wall so hard it cracked, but Nightwing wasn't done, hurling a handful of explosive disks.

They popped off in the empty silence like thunderclaps, smoke and fire filling the alleyway. Nightwing punched through the smoke with a yell but the villain was already gone, slipped away like mist.

One long slow inhale and he calmed himself, the hot fury inside him siphoning away. Control. He wasn't fifteen anymore.

But he stood and turned around and she was. She was small and wide-eyed and so young; it was boggling to be looking down at her. She seemed so much tinier and thinner, standing timidly at the entrance to the alley, green eyes like wide plates, astonished, fearful, and a bit uncertain.

She was breathtaking, stepping from the shadows of the past unchanged like some kind of immortal fae... and he couldn't touch her.

A somber shroud darkened over him. She couldn't stay. She was trying to go back, of course she was trying to go back. She didn't belong here, in this bleak, hopeless future. The damage was done. His timeline would never go back to the way it was.

She couldn't stay.

He steeled himself firmly, posture somber, shuttering away his heart, and all the things he wanted to tell her.

I love you. I missed you. Please don't go away again.

Instead he said:

"It's good to see you again."

***

There was some part of him that felt lightened, free of some heavy weight, even though he knew she would only be here temporarily.

"Watch your step," he told her, leading the way down the stairs. "The third stair from the bottom is a little warped."

It squeaked under her foot as she put weight on it and she gawped, yelping a little, startled.

He turned his face so she wouldn't see him smile.

"We can track Warp through the chronol distortion he causes around him," he told her, pressing a button on his gauntlet and bringing up his personal HUD, which showed a little holographic map of the scans his supercomputer up in the main room were running on the city. "Temporal anomalies cause vibrations in the air molecules that the scanners can pick up."

Switching off the display he went for the weapons rack, loading his utility belt back up with all the basics. He'd left with a severely depleted supply when he'd gotten Cyborg's message, and he wanted to be prepared for anything in the upcoming fight.

"We hit him hard, but carefully. Chances are the tech in his suit is the only thing that can send you home. We don't want to damage it," he was rambling absently, loading up freeze discs and wingdings. "Hopefully the others will come help, but I think we can still take him if they don't."

"Robin?"

For some reason, this time, her voice froze him in place like ice, a lasso looping tight around his throat and squeezing, rendering him incapable of speech for a moment.

Nightwing's mind strained for control, his adam's apple bobbing harshly as he swallowed.

"Have... have I done something... wrong?" she asked.

His head whipped around, against his better judgement. "What?" he blurted. "No! No of course not, Star," he rushed to assure her, the rest of him turning around to face her. "Why would you think that?" he asked in dismay, cracks showing in his unflappable expression, unable to hide the distress that pinched his eyes.

She ducked her head, softly, some kind of awful sadness in her eyes. "It is just..." she began, then fiddled with her hands a long moment, wringing them. "You... you have not touched me once since we were reunited," she said, her voice so quiet he could barely hear it. "You have barely even looked at me."

Screams scraped against the sides of his head and it was all Nightwing could do to keep his expressionless mask in place.

Starfire clutched her hands tighter around the edge of the blanket, the only display of affection he had allowed himself to give her, shrinking in on herself like a wilting wildflower.

"I... I know that it is... different now," she strained out, "and you cannot reassure me in the way you might have when we were younger..." She was almost biting her lip, eyes watery and welling. "But I... you feel so distant and strange and I—I cannot help but feel like you don't want—"

He broke.

In an instant his arms were wrapped around her, and he was fifteen and terrified again, his face buried in her hair, embracing her with all his might and shuddering, silent sobs rattling up through him.

"You were gone," he whispered. "You were gone, Starfire. You disappeared." His throat was clogged, snot and inelegant emotion choking him. "I never stopped looking. I couldn't. But you were gone for so so long that I just—"

A strangled hiccup escaped him.

"—It—It hurt too much, I—"

Her hands pressed on either side of his face, pulling his head firmly back in front of hers, so she could look him directly in the face.

"I am sorry," she whispered tremulously, voice wavering. "I am sorry you had to go through that. I am sorry I was not there. I am here now," she told him.

Nightwing sniffed back his breath, senses tingling, struggling to regain his calm. "It's okay," he said, even though it wasn't, even though everything in him wanted to shatter. He forced himself to take a step back, distance himself from her warm touch.

He inhaled and exhaled, getting himself back under control. She watched him with concern, familiar and touching, her gaze like a soothing balm on his soul.

She can't stay, he reminded himself. He had to send her back. To her time, her Robin.

He wouldn't let himself go through this again.

A firm, burning determination shone in his eyes as locked eyes with her.

"Let's get you home," he said fiercely, conviction ringing out through every part of him as she ignited fire in his bones.

They would set this right.

[simp-ly-writes]

Meet the Doctor pt.9

Pairing: Stardew Valley Harvey x Reader

Summary: The year is going by and what does Harvey think about the reader throughout it all?

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, crying, anxiety attack mentions, the whole drill (shit happens).

A/N: I promised, and lets see if I upheld that promise all those chapters ago.

Masterlist | Taglist | edited.

Meet the Doctor Series (pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3) (pt.4) (pt.5) (pt.6) (pt.7) (pt.8) (pt.9) (pt.10) you are here

The door chimes and you were running, running from yourself and running from the museum without a coat. The wind swept through your hair placing many layers of snowflakes in it as they ate away at your layer of skin. Up the street and past the shops you ran, the multi-coloured lights mocking your ruined appearance as they blinked aggressively in your peripheral vision as you enter the clinic, the door hardly clanking against its frame as you move with purpose, your body shivering with a mixture of adrenaline, anxiety and possible hypothermia. 

You quickly take a look at the empty front desk as you lead yourself further into the clinic, lacking the usual coffee and baked goods. Majority of the lights are off, and the doors are locked all for one just off to your right. Taking a deep breath in you knock lightly on the wood, pausing for a second thought, you hear soft cries coming from within and then enter with determination.

You see Harvey in his office chair, looking over notes as his chest rises up and down sporadically. As you make your way over- shivering he slowly turns to face you yet refuses to make eye contact. Your heart dropped at this action, so this is it, you thought to yourself.

So this is it, Harvey thought to himself while taking in your blue skin, subconsciously moving to place his green jacket around your shoulders, slightly smiling at the slight before becoming seated once more and raising his hand for you to sit in the one across from him. 

With you both seated, you both open your mouths to speak in an all too familiar scenario back on a park all those months ago, Harvey moves to say you should speak first yet you beat him to it and the Doctor starts opening up.

I-I thought that everything was going alright, great even. Every morning I would get to see you, your hair a mess still and your eyes slightly closed as you yawned good-morning to me in the most adorable fashion. I thought that was enough for me yet I see you standing there with him, stringing your fingers through his hair. It reminds me of my place in your life and all the differences that separate you from me, and between myself in my heart and my brain. Today was just another example of that. 

Harvey- I-, you get interrupted for the first time ever since speaking with him, surprised, he apologises yet continues his speech. 

I guess I worried about you going away… that is why I never offered more… did more like I should have… like Elliot did… Harvey takes a deep breath. I guess what I’m meaning to say is that I was worried of being left behind as well… that if we ever were to start something new, something more… that you would realise I would never be enough. I know that I am not the most interesting guy, and Elliot is everything that I could never be... 

His throat clogged mid sentence, holding back the tears from a bay in his eyes. Glasses become steamy, hands shaking as he struggles to make eye-contact with your dropping facial expression. So this is it. Harvey repeats to himself once more, this is how things are going to end… It was your turn to interpret the conversation now as you noticed the Doctor begin to spiral his thoughts. 

With passion settled into your eyes, you grabbed Harveys face in your hands, ensuring that he was looking at you with what you were about to admit. Harvey, In the past I have been confused with versions of myself and of what relationships are, I have made mistakes and learned so much in this year I have been in the Valley and since meeting you. 

I know that I don't look for the most fun nor the most interesting person in the world. I know that I don't need someone who will write poetry about our love story for the world to hear and I most certainly don't need one who comes and goes through the door every night, leaving me feeling stranded here as their career begins to have the whispers of taking off into the washed lime-lights in a godforsaken museum that burns the hatred in my very core. I came to this Vallery for a reason, and the longer that I stay here. 

The more that I realise that reason is you. All I need is you, all I could ever want in every lifetime is to have a man that is dependable, understandable and happens to have a very good moustache. And every time without a doubt in my mind, that would be you and my soul would do everything in its being to find you in a sea of fakes and non-forevers. You are my forever Harvey, for as long as you'll have me. I know the traditionalists will call this early but I knew that early on you were going to be something special to me and I am so sorry that I took me this long and in all this emotional turmoil to find that specialness is within a prolonging romantic drive I hold for you and you alone. 

You finish your speech with tears welling in your eyes as Harvey leans over and collapses in your arms. You feel each other's tears run down your necks as you both breathe in deep, taking in one another comforting presence to then move apart and share your first kiss, short and sweet in the room where it started two years ago. You both fall back laughing in your chairs after, brains not fully contemplating what your hearts have predicted since the beginning and Harveys looks at you smile wide as lines crinkle around his eyes lovingly. 

--

Bonus:

I think that your heart rate is rather high, do you have an explanation behind it this time? Your doctor teases you. 

I think that I’m just really excited this time Harvey, because this time what I feel and what I know are now the same. Harvey hums in agreement to your statement, leaning forward to kiss you once more as Maru enters the moment a second later, shock racking through her frame as she pivots on her heel and exits the room as soon as she enters. 

To be continued... promise fulfilled.

Meet the Doctor Series (pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3) (pt.4) (pt.5) (pt.6) (pt.7) (pt.8) (pt.9) (pt.10) you are here

[sunflowernyx]

Chapter 1 I New Chapter

“I don’t know what’s crazier…”

Mulder leans in, chest to steering wheel, and squints through the window. There’s a crossing somewhere around here, he knows, but—

Lights appear out of the heavy fog and he slams the breaks hard enough both he and Scully bounce in their seats.

Stupid heatwave.

“Driving in this damn fog,” Scully continues, gasping and grabbing at her seatbelt. “Or going on a wild quest to really prove aliens exist. Mulder, that was a green light!”

She turns in her seat, her hair flying out wildly. She is furious.

“Says the woman with the telepathic child,” he counters cheekily to direct from his mishap.

“We are not talking about psychic abilities here,” she snaps. “Why are you stopping?”

All around them the world is draped in white. The snow hasn’t entirely evaporated from lawns and side-walks yet, but it’s a close thing. All the vapor hangs in the suddenly much warmer air, the contrast brought on by what he can only assume is an unnatural heatwave. Climate change.

Winters never used to be dangerous like this.

“You know, the interesting thing about you, Scully?” He asks, misdirecting from his colour-blindness once more as he starts up the motor again. “When you have definitive proof of something you no longer treat it as extraordinary or fantastical.”

She turns her face away and he wishes it was safe enough to follow the motion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffs. “I’d still like to catalogue it. But I’m not going to put her through an MRI at her age. And that still doesn’t prove the rest of your, frankly, outrageous claims.”

“Which is why,” he says, safely sliding into a parking lot two blocks from their actual destination and singing, “we’re here.”

He waves Scully around to the back of the car, and they each done one of two backpacks he intends to fill with evidence and paperwork.

The lid of the trunk falls, the lock clicks, and Mulder pats his pocket one last time to check that the stiletto is safely within his reach before waving her along across to the building on the other side of the street.

The fog weaves between trees and buildings, covering cars and eating at the edges of the world, leaving the sensation that no one else exists, that all that is left in the world is ghosts.

Mulder hates it.

He prefers the howling winds and confrontational frost of New England. Here the cold creeps in slowly, through cracks and openings, and the heat seeps out — like water he cannot hold in his hands.

It causes an oppressive silence that is difficult, if not impossible to break, so that even Scully remains a silent shadow amongst the clouds.

It’s the gunmen that saves him.

A screech like a broken fax runs through his ear, and Mulder almost jumps out of his skin.

“— you there, Mulder?”

“Jesus!” He exclaims, tugging the ear-piece momentarily away from himself.

Scully jumps and Mulder waves the tech at her.

“Are you trying to make me deaf, guys?” He demands, stuffing it back into his ear.

“It’s this fog, Mulder,” Byers explains. “It’s weakening the connection.”

“So much for modern technology,” Mulder mutters darkly.

Beside him, Scully smiles.

“Or,” Frohike jumps in. “Next time pick a better day to impress your chickadee.”

“Shut up, Frohike!”

“Ouch. She that pretty?”

“No—“ he stops himself, glances at Scully and amends. “Yes, but that’s not the point. I didn’t predict the fog and the blockers are already up. Do you want them to be found?”

“Of course not,” comes Langley’s drawl. “So get to it, Casanova.”

Mulder shakes his head and is glad for his own inability to remember two headsets so Scully can only hear his side of the conversation - and she doesn’t seem that interested.

She’s lifting her head to take in the fertility clinic once more as it comes into view across the parking lot.

Out front where it faces the rest of Germantown, Zeus Genetics is a shining golden block of concrete, lit up like a beacon of hope for the future. But at the back it is a hulking shadow that breaks apart the white mist and draws grey lines into the world. A pair of cars remain parked outside, but otherwise there is no sign of life.

“That’s the plan,” he sighs.

In his right ear Byers lists the cameras they have to be aware of to the background rhythm of Langley’s typing, breaking apart the buildings security from the inside.

“Looks like this mist is both a blessing and a curse.”

“Come on, guys,” Mulder says, while Scully taps her foot impatiently at the door.

The light by the key turns green.

“And voila,” Frohike crows.

Mulder’s hand finds her back and the door closes behind them.

Continue reading here

[izvmimi]

WSB (and WSHB) - Chapter V

cw: serious melodrama (kdrama level tbh).

Masterlist

The car stops in the parking garage just outside of the Hero Agency, and there’s a pause as Tessa turns off the engine, then glances at you, twisting her mouth to the side. She’s been trying very hard to be supportive the entire drive here, you can tell by the way she grips the steering wheel, but she clearly is not on board with this decision in the slightest.

She sighs and you brace yourself for the scolding.

“I still don’t think you should be doing this just because of Midoriya.”

Tessa turns to you, a pout on her lips in anticipation of your defense. Instead you offer none, opening the car door and making your way out, your letter clutched in your hand. Annoyed, she follows you into the building, crossing the distance quickly. There are a few interns that watch with bated breath as they see you enter, before one has the good manners to wave and give you a warm welcome. You continue to march straight to the supervisor’s office, to ensure that your resolve doesn’t waver. Your heart thumps repeatedly in your chest, as fast as Tessa’s footsteps behind you.

“Don’t do this,” she says again, more like a plea.

I was never meant for this stuff anyway. Midoriya has been dragging me along since high school, you want to say to her. The back of your eyes start to burn and you shake your head to prevent tears from forming. A formal resignation should be professional, not dramatic.

It’s not because of him anyway, you repeat to yourself in your head. You need to devote more time to the clinic, where you belong and it doesn’t help to constantly have your phone buzzing with assignments. They’d probably end up firing you first anyway.

Tessa mutters something under her breath about being lonely at work and you consider rolling your eyes, knowing full well that she and Bakugou are doing more than just having lunch at their joint lunch breaks. It must be nice to be loved unconditionally and without reservations, you want to say, the rest of us have to -

“Tenten.”

Your heart stops and you turn involuntarily towards his voice. Izuku now stands by Tessa, and he looks absolutely awful.

Not in a physical way, of course. Izuku is always unnervingly handsome, especially in his form-fitting costume, and his green locks are tousled in a way that you’ve always thought was cute since you met him years ago. But there’s much less charity behind his eyes, like he’s seen enough in the past few days and is tired of it all, and there’s a subtle but genuine pallor behind his freckled cheeks. His lips are pressed thin.

How dare he look more upset than you? you think indignantly.

“What?” You can’t help but hissing. It’s the first word you’ve spoken to each other in over three months and it’s said harshly with venom that’s accrued over the weeks. Yet somehow it’s also stale, without bite, as though the poison has lost a bit of its potency.

Nevertheless Izuku flinches for a moment at your reply, as if he’s no longer used to your voice. Or maybe just not in this way. You were crying when you broke up, not angry. He opens his mouth and closes it.

“Can I help you?” You press again, your fist clenching around the envelope in your hand. Izuku’s eyes travel to your right hand then back to your eyes.

“I want to talk to you,” he says slowly and deliberately.

Something turns in your stomach.

“I have to do something first,” you insist. Quit the premier Hero Agency in the country and kiss this nonsense goodbye.

“Please let’s just talk first-” Izuku steps closer and reaches for your arm and -

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Your voice comes out in a shrill cry that surprises even you. When you look back at him, that same pallor subtle in his cheeks is now full blown, and his skin is almost paper white. You can see him swallow hard and your heart sways just a little for him at how embarrassing this might be for him. There are eyes all over you that aren’t just Tessa’s, but the rest of the agency which probably knows how Pro Hero Deku has utterly shamed you on top of the betrayal. Maybe you feel a little less bad.

Your eyes dart around. It’s almost 9 am, Tessa shouldn’t be standing here, she should be going to the Monday morning debrief. These pencil pushers shouldn’t be gawking at the three of you, watching you shake as you compose yourself and making judgements and opinions they can sell to reporters. If someone pulls out their phone, you swear you’ll end up in jail.

Izuku shouldn’t be here either. He should be off with Tessa to hear the roundup of the intel gained last week so that this week goes smoothly. He rarely frequents this end of the building anyway, where Human Resources and the rest of the administrative people live, reminding this company that they’re truly just a company at the end of the day

You were supposed to be in and out, and now you’re causing a scene.

“Please.” Izuku repeats, his voice cracking. It’s smaller than you remember ever hearing it. His hands are now nervously clasped together to remind himself not to touch you. There’s a part of you that absolutely does not want to hear out anything he has to say but another part of you misses him terribly.

You’ll probably regret it.

---

True to the finely polished professional he is, Izuku starts off exactly as you expect him to.

“I’m sorry.”

You sit perfectly still in your chair across from him in a too-sunny corner of the one of the outdoor break spaces, trying to control the welling up of emotions in your chest. Unlike within the confines of your workplace just earlier, this location is a lot more open and you’re more acutely aware of your surroundings. Embarrassing yourself and/or crying will only be more fodder for the tabloids; speaking to him in public is already too much of a risk.

His words come out far too sanitized to account for the pain you feel and bile rises in your throat. However, you smile at him in a way that’s unnerving, more a baring of the teeth than anything else.

“What for?” You ask, sweetly. Your hands grip gently at the fabric of your slacks as you wait for him to reply. You don’t want an apology. You want him to take all the hurt back, which would mean he and you and her and everything that entangles you three just ceasing to exist.

“Everything,” he says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie through clenched teeth. You should really stop trying to smile. Izuku makes a sudden movement, as though to reach for your hand, then reconsiders. However you catch the action and it makes your stomach turn.

The two of you sit in silence, as though in a standoff, deciding where to go next. This - whatever this is - could end in tears, or screams, or worse, depending on the words either of you use next. Izuku is always slightly more controlled over his emotions than you are, but even he has his limits, and he has wanted to scream for the past week knowing that you, somewhere, were hurt enough by him to run into Shoto’s arms. He’d even tried to call after weeks of polite silence, only to realize you’d blocked his phone number and any other routes of social media. If you’d allowed him to know where you lived now, he would have shown up at your doorstep days ago. He could still do so, but to admit that you’ve cut him out so cleanly he’d have to ask someone where you lived… he had some pride.

He says, “I didn’t mean to-” and you lose all sense of restraint. You rise so quickly the chair tips over backwards, but does not fall, and you hiss back at him.

“You accidentally fucked her? You accidentally made a child?”

You can see Izuku’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Angry tears prick at your eyeballs.

“Who says I’m hurt, you piece of-” You bite your lip, holding back a sob. Your body is starting to shake and you need to leave. But your legs won’t work, and you’re pinned to the very ground you stand on. You need to quit and go home and compose yourself and launch yourself back into your work and apply to that fellowship and-

“I love you,” he croaks out.

The words stun you still, and you look at him gaping like a fish. He takes a deep breath that you can hear run through his body but as he exhales you can see his eyes start to redden too, and his next words also crack ever so slightly under pressure.

“I-I never stopped, I don’t know what to do either, I wish it hadn’t happened, I-”

The hard slap you deal across his face has him speechless.

The two of you pause as you shake out your wrist and consider hitting him again. He stares at you in complete shock, watching as hot, angry tears run down your face. You look hideous in all your anger, the red under the hue of your skin and your face twisted in rage. He raises his hand to his cheek slowly as he watches you tremble, almost in disbelief of the sting in his cheek. You would never raise your hand against someone purely in anger, no one, especially not him.

“You…” you inhale deeply, “... don’t do this to someone you love.”

His voice is barely a whisper again.

“I’m… sorry…”

He begins to cry, for real this time, and you want to kick him in the groin so hard he can never reproduce again but also hold him close to stop the tears because you love him but your own won’t stop flowing.

In that moment, you are just two grown human beings. Professional Heroes. Crying in broad daylight like children, over problems that only adults can have.

And in that moment, you wish you were teenagers again, a boy and a girl who have just met, introducing yourselves to each other politely as classmates and expecting no more than collegiality. To graduate and to chase your dreams.

To do anything but hurt others, or each other.

---

You didn’t end up resigning that day. Instead you drove to the nearest park, got out of your car and started running.

You ran for so long, trying desperately to clear your head, that by the time the sun beat overhead, it had been over an hour you’d been on the trail, and exhausted, you dropped down on the beaten path, breathing heavily as you lay in a heap.

Izuku loves you.

He said it with his own mouth, and you know he wouldn’t lie.

Your pants turn to coughs and sputters as you swallow wrong, and you sit up quickly, but you pull your knees close to your chest and sit by the side of the road, willing yourself to keep running, or at least to get back to your car.

Izuku loves you still.

And you love him.

You love him so much it hurts as much as your lungs do right now, begging for air.

But despite loving you, you’re still where you are right now.

You don’t want to love him back, not at all. Not when all you can think of is Ochaco under him and him holding her, kissing her, cumming inside her, creating a life.

You want to vomit. Their child would be so cute. Rosy red cheeks and green, maybe brown curly hair? Freckles? A baby who always laughs?

Is it laughing at you? It’s an awful thought to think of, the three of them as a happy family, and you, alone, loveless, a poser. Someone who constantly and consistently flew too close to the sun. After all, since high school, Ochaco had always been the better option.

Plus, she had always loved him first. Things were just balancing out the way they were supposed to. Maybe it was a weird sort of twisted karma for stealing him away all these years.

You sigh and stretch out your arms. The grass is warm underneath you, and you dig in your hands to the soft soil, and remember not to tear out the blades. Your fingers uncurl.

It will be okay.

[delivish]

first lines in 2024

i've been a little quiet on here because i've actually been plugging away with writing, but i was tagged by the super-nice and super talented @betaot4 (seriously, go read their works, they are so. good) and thought it would be fun! here's two excerpts, one from my butters/scott fic, the other from a secret project 👀 the malkinstotch fic was technically started dec 27th, but idc idc, it counts, lol

Malkinstotch Fic:

After the break was physical education. Scott dressed in his shirt and gym shorts and skipped energetically out to the field.  He’d always liked P.E. Most of the kids he went to school with thought physical education was just a gimme class — and, to be fair, they were right — but Scott welcomed the opportunity to get out and exercise, even if he got tired pretty easily and was almost always picked last for everything. His mother hated that he was still taking P.E., even though, according to her, he had a serious medical condition and should have been excused. Scott didn’t see what the big deal was. His mother worried about him getting hurt, and maybe that was fair; any injuries he got always took him twice as long to heal on account of his being diabetic.  But then again, his mother had spent his entire life worrying about him getting hurt, often and loudly, much to the chagrin of his childhood Pediatricians. If wiping his ass had the potential to hurt him, Scott was halfway convinced his mother would be doing it for him. He loved her, but her concern for him sometimes felt like a watery grave slowly being filled one cup at a time. Not enough to kill you outright, but you’d eventually drown in it all the same.  It was raining out, so they were inside today. Scott could see Butters standing on the other side of the basketball court. Butters turned his head to one side as Scott looked, presumably to catch Clyde Donovan’s latest lame joke, and laughed. Scott watched Butters’ eyes go soft at the corners, big and bluey-green, watched the magical way they seemed to shift more green than blue and vice versa whenever the light hit them just right; whenever Butters laughed it was like Scott was pressing into an old bruise, the way it hurt and felt kind've good all at once. Butters was like a controversial flavor of pie — banana cream, maybe — in that not everyone liked him, but it was okay because he was still sweet.

Secret Project:

His Narcotics Anonymous group met every Friday evening at 8 PM in the gymnasium of the local high school.  Butters didn’t get off work until seven-thirty, though, and the veterinary clinic where he was employed as a tech was forty-five minutes across town. With traffic, he was almost always fifteen or twenty minutes late, on top of being tired, stressed out, and covered in animal hair — or worse. Bebe had told him over and over again that it was okay. She knew he was working, and she didn’t care how late he showed up as long as he kept showing up. Her reassurances, gentle as they were, had fallen on deaf ears. Butters’ stomach twisted itself into knots every time he walked in here, bile slicking the back of his throat, anxiety slithering under his skin like some parasitic worm that existed only to amplify all his bad thoughts. If it hadn’t been for his therapist, Butters probably would have stopped going to these stupid meetings a long time ago. But Stan, in an uncharacteristic display of offering an actual fucking opinion, seemed to think it would do him some good to see that other people had struggled with this, that he wasn’t as alone as he’d always felt.  Butters chuckled miserably as he parked the older model white pickup he’d traded in his Mini-Cooper for when he moved back into town. His old car had been cute when he lived in Los Angeles, but he was in the boonies now, as rural as he could possibly get without becoming an actual hermit. Maybe these meetings would do him some good, but god, all he could think was how much his mother would have hated the thought of him coming here, how she would have berated him for being such a weak, useless, fairy-fucking moron who couldn't keep his shit together.  Which, of course, was part of the problem. 

I am tagging @thegloriousninjaturtle and @stennyandbaddecisions!! Totally optional, ofc!! 💕

[my-maas-murdered-heart]

The Valley Vet

Azriel x Veterinarian!Reader 

Modern AU Fic

Part 2

Summary: A slow burn romance. The reader just moved to town and is starting a new job at a new veterinary clinic. Her little sister said there is a man there she’s going to love. Will that be the case?

Warnings: None for now. 

Word Count: 1,144

Notes: This is a fic that is close to my heart for many reasons. I am hoping it will be a slow burn series. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You grabbed the last box from your car to take into your new apartment. The heat in this town was sweltering and oppressive, making your skin feel singed. Blowing hair out of your eyes, you closed the trunk and went into the cool of the AC. The place was small, but cute with high ceilings, new carpet, and new appliances. The living room and kitchen were in one open space with the bar separating the two and one bedroom off to the side. It felt a bit dark with only one large window in the living room and one in the bedroom, but that was nothing cute lighting couldn’t fix. With a deep breath, you plopped onto the couch. Freyja, your large black brindle dog, hopped onto it next to you with a sigh. 

“I know girl. It’s quite a change.” You had only moved down to this town because your mom had convinced you it was wonderful. She tempted you with the beach, sea turtles, and good Mexican food, but you couldn’t help but miss Austin, Texas. It just was getting too crowded and too expensive and your schedule was so hectic it was hard to ever come down to visit. So here you were in a small obscure town in south Texas, right next to Mexico and the Gulf. It would be nice to be close to your parents and younger sister and brother. If you were honest, it was really just for your siblings. Your parents were too chaotic and hopefully you could watch out for them a lot easier being close by. Your phone dinged, rousing you from your thoughts. It was from Holly, your new manager. 

“Hello Y/N, would you like to swing by this afternoon? That way we can get you into the system and ready for tomorrow. Once you get here, come in through the side door and my office is right to the left. Ready to get you on board.”

This would be your second vet clinic after graduating vet school. You hadn’t really been sad to leave the first one in Austin. It was small, stuffy, and cramped. The head veterinarian had also been a bit of a bitch, though you loved all of the technicians and they had become your friends. The pay here wasn’t going to be much better, but they saw all animal types, not just dogs and cats. Your true passion in veterinary medicine was large animals like cattle and horses. Your sister, Annie, had actually been the one to hook you up with the job. The owner of the clinic, Dr. Gary Montague, had just fired a doctor and needed a new one pretty badly. Perfect timing. Annie thought Dr. Gary was pretty great. There was one other doctor too, Dr. Azriel Gonzalez. Annie swore up and down you’d like him. Just your type, dark hair, hazel eyes, and he liked to sing. She said his only downfall was that he was a drinker. You weren’t interested. Your last relationship had ended poorly; he was precious in every way but his alcoholism had gotten to be too much so you ended things. You did not want a repeat of that. All you had to do was resist his charms. How hard could it be?

“Great. I will be there in 15.” You sent the reply to Holly and grabbed your keys to head back into the sweltering August heat. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15 minutes later you pulled into the parking lot of your new job, Valley Vet Clinic. It was a large cream colored tin building with green trim and a gravel parking lot. Next door on the same lot was a similar building that housed a feed store. You parked and got out of the car, thankful beyond words for tee shirts and jean shorts in this heat. You walked to the side door Holly had indicated and into the cool air.

It had blue walls with gray tin trimming the lower half. It smelled faintly of cleaner and various animals smells. You went right, into the office which was piled with clutter of various papers, vials, and tools. You knocked lightly on the door.

“Holly?” A curvy woman turned in her office chair. She had olive skin and dark hair in a pony tail.

“Dr. Y/N Hi! Give me just a minute to finish up this test form. If you want to go out back, Dr. Gary should be out there and he can introduce you to everyone.”

“Yeah sure sounds good.” You smiled.

“Just go down to the right and then a left to the back treatment area. He’s out there with some horses.”

You walked out back where she had directed. There was a tall roof over a large concrete area with some kennels and two horse stocks. Dr. Gary, a thicker set bald man was floating a horse’s teeth while another man held its head. He had an electric grinder to file down sharp points in the horse’s teeth. You waited until Dr. Gary was finished and turned the tool off, it was way too loud to have said much before hand. You cleared your throat and walked over.

“Dr. Gary?” His eyes lit with surprise.

“Dr. Y/n hello! So glad you’re here. Are you ready to work?” He wiped his hands off on a rag and set the tool into a bucket of water.

“Yes sir. Although I didn’t come dressed today, Holly asked me to come to get my pin for the computers and fill out my paperwork.” You chuckled. Hoping he wasn’t going to make you take patients in shorts and a tee, but if he was insistent you probably would so as not to make a bad impression. “I will be ready bright and early tomorrow though.”

“Good, good. Dr. Y/n, have you met Dr. Azriel?”

Your breath caught. Your sisters description had not done him justice. He wore jeans and a simple black T shirt that stretched across his chest and around his arms that read “The Valley Vet” on the left side. His dark hazel eyes appraised you and he gave a slight smirk, still holding on to the horses halter.

“Well, I’ll leave y’all to get acquainted. I’m going to go check on rooms. Azriel, you got this covered?” He nodded and with that Dr. Gary walked back inside.

You moved to pet the sorrel horse on the muzzle. It was still groggy from the sedative. Azriel stepped back and crossed his arms.

“So you’re Y/n. Your sister told me about you. She said I was either going to love you or hate you.” His voice was deep and cool.

You have a snort. “Well I guess we will just have to see now, won’t we.”

“I guess we shall.” And with that he gathered the bucket of water, syringes, and tooth drill and walked inside.

------------------------------------

  -->     Part 2.     <--

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[amirthefashion]

At this national park in Hawaiʻi, a natural paradise and a medical purgatory

On the north side of Molokaʻi — the least-visited Hawaiian Island — a piece of land called the Kalaupapa Peninsula juts out from the rest of the island.

Lay eyes on it for the first time, and your reaction might be to call it a paradise.

About 17 square miles (44 square kilometers) in size, the peninsula emerges from the base of sea cliffs that tower thousands of feet above it. A seemingly idyllic village sits on its west side, surrounded by acres of green space. A historic lighthouse stands tall along the coast, and the sea laps up onto a series of beaches. Look east and small offshore islets appear as if created by an artist.

Looks can be deceiving, however. Learn a little bit more about Kalaupapa, and you realize that this part of Hawaiʻi entered the National Park Service system not for its scenic beauty but for its dark history.

Kalaupapa today is the world’s most famous colony for patients with Hansen’s disease, more commonly known as leprosy. As of April 2024, eight people were still on the patient register at Kalaupapa, with about half living full-time on the peninsula. Remarkably, the oldest will turn 100 this year.

Though often referred to generally as “patients,” these eight people are actually former Hansen’s disease patients. They have long been cured — drugs introduced in the 1940s effectively curtailed the disease and eliminated the need for forced isolation. The former patients are not contagious and are of no threat to visitors. Those that remain at Kalaupapa do so under a unique agreement, adding to the complexity and mystique of this secluded peninsula.

With National Park Week upon us, it’s fitting that we take a closer look at this remote national historical park.

But the timing is appropriate in other ways, too. Despite no remaining federal or state health restrictions, the park has remained closed continuously for the past four years, with no visitors allowed. Recently, the park has come under increasing public pressure from tour operators to explain its ongoing closure and reveal its plan to reopen to visitors.

Come along as we take a journey through an area that has been affected by first an epidemic, then a pandemic.

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The epidemic: Patients become prisoners

In the 1800s, an epidemic broke out when leprosy arrived in the Hawaiian Islands for the first time. With locals having no cure or immunity to the disease, it spread quickly through Hawaiian communities.

The strong social stigma associated with the disease — along with its caused deformities and misunderstandings — created panic. People with mild reactions to the disease were treated at the local health clinics of the time, but advanced cases were seen as a threat to society.

The Hawaiian monarchy, led by King Kamehameha V, decided that patients with advanced forms of leprosy needed to be quarantined. The Kalaupapa Peninsula, surrounded on three sides by the ocean and the towering sea cliffs on the fourth, was deemed the best place.

In 1865, the Hawaiian monarchy took control of the peninsula, forcibly removing native communities who had occupied the land for 900 years.

A historical photo of Kalaupapa shows the colony where patients with Hansen's disease — more commonly called leprosy — were forced into isolation. KGPA Ltd/ Alamy Stock Photo

“The physical impairments caused by the illness [of leprosy] and the devastating effects on skin and nerves brought prejudice, fear and segregation in all societies since ancient times,” notes a scientific study from the University of Bari, Italy, on the history of leprosy. “Patients with [the] disease were socially isolated and forced to live in poverty and loneliness.”

Unfortunately, it was not a compassionate process at Kalaupapa. Patients, in fact, became prisoners. Husbands were separated from their wives; children from their mothers; families were never together again. Anyone diagnosed with the disease, no matter their age or responsibilities at home, was sent to Kalaupapa, without the right to leave.

In the end, the numbers are dark. Since the first “patients” arrived in the early months of 1866, more than 8,000 people have died at Kalaupapa, a world away from their loved ones.

Most of those deaths occurred in the first 75 years or so. After World War II, new treatments emerged for leprosy, essentially curing the disease. Barriers between those with and without the disease began to be removed. In 1969, the laws for mandatory quarantine were abolished. Patients — those that remained — were free to go.

Despite the advancements in medicine, society was not so quick to catch up. Social stigma, stereotype and prejudice continued to exist toward those with the disease. Even though patients were free to leave if they wished, some decided to remain and live out the rest of their lives at Kalaupapa (including the eight currently on the register). In time, it had become their home, and adjusting to life outside the confines of Kalaupapa proved difficult for many.

In 1980, Kalaupapa became a National Historical Park with the intention of “preserving the memories and lessons of the past,” according to the National Park Foundation.

RELATED ARTICLEThe least visited national parks in the United States in 2023

Beauty and suffering

The combination of Kalaupapa’s visual beauty and human suffering has proved to be a potent mix for writers, artists and historians alike.

Check out the collection of books, poems and paintings of Kalaupapa, and one will see these two emotions mixed up over and over again. Book titles such as “Bittersweet Beauty” or “A Land of Beauty, Pain, and Suffering”; portraits of smiling patients with deformities, backdropped by the beautiful sea cliffs; stories of hope and service in the face of dark reality.

The obvious conflation of beauty and pain captures many who learn about Kalaupapa. The more you dig in, the more you find that the beauty of the place is not just physical, but also reflected in the acts of kindness, hope and service that sprung up around the pain and suffering.

Father Damien is pictured with the Kalawao Girls Choir, circa 1878. Kalawao is a settlement on the Kalaupapa Peninsula. Alamy Stock Photo

There are countless unremembered people who dedicated their lives to the medical, clerical and communal duties necessary to care for the patients at Kalaupapa. But one famous example is Father Damien (now a saint), who spent more than 15 years serving patients at Kalaupapa before contracting and dying from the disease himself at the age of 49 in 1889.

Today, a statue of him stands in front of the State Capitol on Oʻahu. Though his remains have been returned to his homeland of Belgium, his initial grave can still be found on the Kalaupapa Peninsula.

As with many acts of history, a dark time was slowly but surely lit by hope and humanity.

The National Park website sums it up best with its description of Kalaupapa: “A place exhibiting the worst and the best of human responses to the challenge of sickness.”

That statement probably resonates with us now more than ever after living through the Covid-19 pandemic.

RELATED ARTICLEThe most visited National Park Service sites in 2023 are …

Covid-19 closure continues

Today, Kalaupapa remarkably still operates first and foremost as a refuge and active “colony.”

At any given time, about five of the eight former patients still on the register are living down at Kalaupapa (patients leave for non-Hansen’s-related medical treatment and other appointments nowadays, so the number of people “living” there is a bit in flux).

They range in age from 80 to 100 and get support from medical workers, National Park Service employees and other staff. They live in a settlement of nearly 200 buildings.

Today, the uses for these buildings often vary from their original use. But when the colony was populous, they included houses, a post office, social hall, churches, bars, a gas station, stores, a jail, police station and warehouses.

Though we don’t know exactly what tours will look like when they resume, previous tours of Kalaupapa utilized an old school bus to take visitors around the peninsula to lay eyes on these old buildings, learn the history and perhaps even meet a resident. Visitors either arrived by air or on foot or via mule down a trail from “topside” Molokaʻi.

Back in 2020, when the Covid-19 pandemic emerged, daily tours and public access came to a halt. Flash forward to 2024, and all Hawaiʻi public health restrictions have been rescinded. But the National Park Service is still not allowing visitors.

This fact was recently brought under the microscope by local news organizations, which featured frustrated tour operators claiming they were being stymied by the National Park Service.

The delay in reopening, says Kalaupapa Superintendent Nancy Holman, is because of a number of factors.

First and foremost, the patients. Holman said the tours that visited Kalaupapa in the past have always been sponsored by a resident; a former patient at Kalaupapa was either directly involved or a partner in a business that organized the tour.

Once the health restrictions of the pandemic were lifted, the National Park Service again offered this option to the former patients. Holman said one person is currently interested and “working very hard” to get their business in order.

“Until there’s no longer a patient who wants to provide tours, we need to offer that to them and only them,” Holman explained.

A plaque explains some of the area's history at Kalaupapa Lookout. The peninsula emerges at the base of towering sea cliffs. Craig Ellenwood/Alamy Stock Photo

Access by air has also been diminished by a consolidation of local airlines and cuts brought on by the pandemic, Holman said.

The Park Service, she said, is still figuring out how to welcome back visitors without taking up resources needed by locals.

“How do we provide [visitors access to Kalaupapa] and not compete directly with Molokaʻi residents [for those airline seats]?” Holman said. “We want to be thoughtful and sensitive in our work … not extractive.”

“I know we are closer than ever [to resuming public access],” she added.

Mikiʻala Pescaia, an interpretive ranger at Kalaupapa, also said the park is “so close” to reopening to tours. But both Pescaia and Holman declined to give an estimated date of reopening.

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The future of Kalaupapa

At some point, Kalaupapa will reopen for tours.

In the meantime, there are still several ways to experience Kalaupapa when visiting Molokaʻi. The Kalaupapa Overlook is located atop the sea cliffs, providing a breathtaking view of the entire peninsula. Bring binoculars if you want to see the settlement more clearly.

In Kualapuʻu, the Molokaʻi Museum features a moving photo exhibition full of portraits, landscapes and explanations that look back at what daily life was like for the patients at Kalaupapa.

Looking to the future, when there are no patients left on the peninsula, is one of the main objectives of the Kalaupapa Transition Interagency Working Group.

The goal in the short term is to protect the privacy and wishes of the former patients, Holman said. This includes putting a cap on the number of daily visitors, which before the pandemic closure was 100 a day. But once all the former patients are gone, the Secretary of Interior, who oversees NPS, can consider changes to this policy, perhaps allowing more people to visit.

Land ownership rights will also need to be addressed once the former patients have gone.

As previously mentioned, the monarchy forcibly removed Hawaiian families to create this colony. Currently, a third of the buildings and surrounding area is owned by the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands. Among other duties, the department provides native families with homestead leases. In this way, much thought is being given to how the peninsula might be managed going forward.

In the near future, though, tours will resume, and Holman said “big fanfare” will surround the reopening. She said that while people can read and learn about Kalaupapa on their own, visiting is still the best way to understand it fully.

“Nothing beats first-hand experience, putting your feet on soil,” Holman said. “Nothing is going to be better for truly understanding the scope of the place and what it would have been like to live there.”

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[cmon-butch]

02 S2 THE VET

TW: needles, blood, medicine, noncon drugging, human trafficking.

“Where are we going?” Liam asks, putting his arm through the shirt sleeve that Harvey holds up for him.

“You’ll see, little man. Don’t worry your pretty head.”

Liam sighs, unsatisfied by his answer. Harvey is never straight with him. He’s forced into khaki shorts and a collared shirt. Both are not his. Harvey only dresses him this nice to go out.

The man holds the boys hand as he takes him into the small garage and into the car. Liam lies in the back seat, closing his eyes as the car starts. He could be in here for a very long time. Might as well get some sleep.

Harvey smiles at his sleeping pet in the back seat. Driving through the city, he watches as Liam whimpers in his slumber. He’s been so exhausted these last few days. Maybe Harvey’s art projects are taking too much out of the pet. The man concludes that he’ll have that checked out as well.

…

The clinic is small. WPO likes to stay inconspicuous. It has no windows, only a pair of glass doors in the concrete building. This is a different place than the one Liam and Harvey have been to before. It’s newly operational. The website had some great reviews as well. Harvey figured this would be the best place to go.

Liam awakes to a hand rubbing his back. “Come on, now. Let’s get you out of the car.”The boy takes Harvey’s hand, letting the man pull him from the back seat. He sighs sleepily. “Was that a good nap, pretty boy?”

Nodding, the boy stands to his feet in a foreign parking lot. An unmarked building stands before him. “It was a good nap,” he mutters. “Where are we?”

“You’ll see. Let’s go inside.”

Pulling the pet along, Harvey leads him to the glass doors. The glide open, revealing a very nice waiting room and front desk. Liam smells the strong scent of medical cleaner. He stops in his tracks.

“Come on, boy. I’ll be with you the whole time,” Harvey whispers.

Fear fills the boys heart. This is the last place he wants to be. They always hurt him here. “Please, don’t take me in. I-,” Liam pleads, his words leaving him again.

A sour frown grows into anger on Harvey’s face. He squeezes Liam’s hand almost to a point where the pet winces. “Fight me, and there will be serious consequences when we get back home,” he growls.

The hair on Liam’s neck stands up. He forces himself to take a step. Then another. Then another. They arrive at the front desk.

A woman dressed in medical scrubs greets them with a nice smile. “Good morning, can I get a name for the patient?”

“Liam Newman,” Harvey answers, loosening his grip on the pets hand.

“You must be Mr. Harvey then?”

“That’s right.”

The nurse smiles. “Great! Have a seat and someone will come to get you in a moment.”

Harvey nods in thanks, pulling Liam along and sitting them both in the waiting room chairs. Liam spots another pet. She’s curled up on one of the chairs, sleeping soundly next to a man he assumes is her owner. He strokes her hair, looking on her with a broad smile.

They seem happy. Happier than he is with Harvey. But the man can never know that. Liam would be beaten senseless.

The pet closes his eyes, leaning on the wall behind them. He’s tired today. Maybe he can get some sleep before someone comes to fetch them.

“Liam?” A voice calls. The boy almost jumps out of his skin. The nurse stands at the door with a clipboard, looking around expectedly.

Harvey grabs his hand, pulling him up to his feel. Liam begins to shake. They pass those broad double doors, exiting the waiting room. The halls are white. The doors to the rooms are closed. All but one. The nurse ushers them in, explaining that the doctor will be in soon.

Harvey sets Liam on the exam table, patting his head. “You’re doing so good, my little man. We’ll get you fixed up and out of here in no time.”

The door opens with a click, making Liam jump. He shakes, terrified. A man with a brown beard and striking green eyes enters. He’s in medical scrubs. Liam assumes he’s the doctor.

“Harvey! So nice to see you,” the doctor exclaims, pulling Liam’s owner into a hug.

“It’s been a while!” Harvey laughs.

The doctors eyes stray to Liam. “So this is the famous pet I’ve heard so much about!” His voice is loud. Every word makes the boy want to jump out of his skin.

“This is Liam,” Harvey introduces.

Liam doesn’t dare shy away from the doctor’s touch. He would be scolded if he did. The man’s hand is cold on his scalp. He pets the boy gently. “Very well behaved, I see.”

Harvey laughs. “We definitely put in the work for it.”

The man in the scrubs smiles once again. Liam shivers, scared of everything around him. “So what seems to be the problem?”

Harvey sits in the chair in the corner of the room. “Well, I talked to you on the phone about those daymares he keeps having.”

“Yes, of course.” The doctor moves his hand down to Liam’s back. Liam responds positively to the rubbing. As much as he hates people touching him, any touching on his back feels like heaven.

“I have a concern with his hearing. He has a hard time hearing me in lots of situations.”

“Interesting.”

Liam’s owner smiles at the bonding the two are having. Liam closes his eyes as the doctor rubs on his shoulder blades. A small smile appears on his face. He’s perfect. “And I’ve noticed his energy has been drained. He sleeps any chance he can get and I’m a little worried, Dr. Rice,” Harvey finishes.

Dr. Rice turns his attention toward Liam, looking at him tenderly as the boys head bobs up and down, his body on the brink of sleep. “I understand, Harvey. From what I can tell this is nothing too serious. I’ll order a few tests and we’ll see what we can find.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

At the sound of Harvey’s voice, Liam awakes, his shaking resuming. “I notice he might not be too comfortable here. Do I need to give him something to calm him down until the tests are over?”

“That would be wonderful. He does have a fear of this place,” Harvey explains.

“I understand.” Dr. Rice turns to Liam. He ruffles his hair, smiling a warm smile. “We’ll have you feeling better in no time.”

…

The nurses took away Liam’s clothes. They gave him a gown instead. They seemed nice. Liam didn’t notice. He was too terrified of that milky medicine they poured down his throat. He only thrashed a little. Harvey gave him a look that made him still.

After a little while in the room, Liam started to feel better. He started to feel lighter, more clumsy. His thoughts were wilder. Funnier.

The nurses took his blood. It didn’t hurt. Liam mostly slept through that part. The needle didn’t even feel scary to him.

The sounds mixed around him, making it harder to hear. They took him back to the room after the bloodwork, letting Harvey hold him on the exam table until the nurses came in again.

This time they took him into a room with a machine in it. It looked like a bagel, or maybe a donut. And they put him in it. At first, the loud noises made him scared. But after a little bit of time, he felt fine. He watched the flashes come again, the sounds fading.

Back to the room. More time with Harvey. The nurses came in. The took him to a room and put headphones on him, asking him to tell them when he hears any noises. He only hears a few.

Back to the room. Sleeping on the exam table. The nurses come in again. They poke at him and prod. Liam starts to whine. Harvey holds his hand, helping calm him down.

Liam becomes more aware when it’s late afternoon. Dr. Rice comes in, smiling like he has been. “So, I have the results in.” He sits next to Liam on the exam table, stroking the pet’s back. “As for the daymares, as you call them, I’m prescribing those amnesia pills like I gave him early in the treatment.” Harvey nods. Liam can’t remember having pills before.

Harvey nods, watching the doctor with his full attention. “And those will get rid of the daymares?”

“I’m giving him a much bigger dose than before. They’ll make him a little foggy in the head but that shouldn’t be too big of a problem for you.”

“He should be fine. I’m not planning on going anywhere for a while anyway.”

“That’s good news. Now, his hearing is severely impaired in the right ear. I’m not completely sure where that came from but if you do want him to hear you more clearly, maybe you should consider getting him hearing aids.”

Liam feels a hand stroke his scalp. Harvey knows how to make him feel good. Liam leans into the touches, content. “I’ll think about it,” he answers.

Dr. Rice gently lifts Liam’s chin, forcing the pet to look at him. “As far as the exhaustion goes, I’m going to prescribe anti-depressants. He’s still adjusting to everything around him. I suspect that he is worn out. There is some depression involved.”

“That’s why he can’t stay awake?”

“That’s what I’m thinking.” As if on cue, Liam starts to nod off on the doctor’s hand. “Now, the the next few days will be quiet. He’s going to feel pretty lazy because of the pills. I can also prescribe a sedative so that taking the pills won’t be so hard if that’s something you need.”

Harvey moves his hand down to Liam’s collarbone, rubbing it in gentle circles. The pet moans. Both men smile. “I have a supply from the WPO website at home. He should be fine.”

“Great! Just make sure he’s comfortable. He’ll forget all of those daymares in the next week.”

“So, he’ll be out of it for a week?”

Dr. Rice nods, gently setting the boys chin onto his chest. He sleeps, like he always does. “In order for the pills to work, his activity needs to be limited. He’ll be sleeping a lot but after that week, you can start the anti-depressants. He should be good as new.”

“Thank you, Dr. Rice. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”

“Its my pleasure. Now, get this pretty boy home. And his prescriptions should be at the counter.”

Harvey lifts Liam, setting him in the wheelchair near the exam table. The poor boy is fast asleep. What fun this has been.