#sitting on someone's lap

[shapeshiftinterest]

Best Seat In The House: bowser x luigi

luigi is chosen as the ambassador for the mushroom kingdom, bowser’s council try to kick him out on the technicality that you must be seated to participate in negotiations

luckily, the best seat in the house is right at the front of the table

or: luigi is tired and 2 can play at being petty

big thanks to AllageAntelope from twitter for helping translate and collab on the italian dialogue

story under the read more

Best Seat In The House (also on ao3)

Luigi was tired. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to do his ambassador job negotiations with Koopa Kingdom already. This was the third time traveling back and forth between kingdoms and Bowser’s council kept locking him out on the grounds of ‘You must be seated to participate in negotiations, Ambassador Greenie‘.

Ugh!! It wasn’t his fault there were never any seats provided! Every time the green plumber arrived, announced and everything, all the seats had been filled up by council members. No one would bring him a chair either!

He sighed, clutching the strap of his messenger bag and looking at the, once again, full table. An assortment of older goombas, koopa troopas, and what have you were talking to each other amicably but he could tell they were laughing at him in the middle of it all.

“Ambassador Green ‘Stache!” A bespeckled Boo greeted him, smirk on her translucent face. “So good of you to join us! Come, come, take a seat.”

“Vecchio troglodita rimbambito,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing, Signora Beatrix,“ he smiled.

“Hmmm,” she said, floating back to her seat.

Luigi let out a sigh. Now, where to sit, where to sit. Looking around, it seemed like no one would help him again this time either. He spotted Bowser at the head of the table, talking to a decorated veteran Goomba.

The two made eye contact and the plumber almost felt hopeful- until the king sneered at him and turned back to the Goomba. Ok, that’s it. If they wanted to be petty, he could too.

Strengthening his resolve, Luigi thanked the Boo and started marching towards the other end of the room.

“Excuse me, Signore,” he addressed the Goomba, the two pausing their conversation. “But I’d like to get to my seat, per favore.”

Bowser snorted, the force almost knocking Luigi’s hat off. “The hell’re you on about, Greenie?” He growled, shooing away the Goomba.

Luigi looked at him. “I’m-a just taking my seat, like everyone keeps-a telling me to do,” he deadpanned, before performing a jump and landing on the throne’s arm rest. The room quickly devolved into chaos, council members hooting and hollering for the plumber to get down.

“Ambassador Green Mario, this is highly inappropriate, get down from there at once!” a Blooper garbled from the large fishbowl perched on a chair, water splashing onto the rug.

“My name,” Luigi said, “Is-a Luigi, Signora Blombell.”

The Blooper in question sputtered angrily. How dare-

“But I-a suppose you’re right.”

Everyone calmed down as the plumber made to get off of the arm rest-

Only for him to slide onto Bowser’s lap instead.

“The best seat should-a be reserved for foreign guests, no?”

Luigi paid them no mind as he got comfortable, butt on the king’s thigh and back against the arm rest he’d been sitting on previously. He could feel the king jolt in surprise but ignored it in favor of finally being able to take the official papers and note taking supplies out of his bag.

“GWAHAHAHAHA!!”

The room fell silent at the king’s boisterous laugh; who knew Greenie- no, Luigi, could have such a petty side to him? It took balls to disrespect another kingdom’s royalty outside of their usual battles, and Bowser could respect that, to an extent.

A heavy clawed hand whacked the plumber on the back for finally growing a spine, and in such a hilarious way too! Said plumber made a disgruntled sound when his papers, and himself, almost fell.

Gathering his items, Luigi side glared at him and readjusted so he was basically straddling Bowser’s leg while using the king’s knee as a table. Oh. Well.

Bowser’s eyebrows jumped in surprise, the shorter man must’ve really been pissed off if he wasn’t even acknowledging such a scandalous pose. He coughed. He knew his kingdom was hot but was it getting even hotter or was it just him? Ah, whatever.

“Start the meeting,” he said, leaning on the opposite arm rest with his cheek in his hand.

“But, Sir-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Bowser growled, “We’ve wasted enough time. Start. It.”

And with that, negotiations with the Mushroom Kingdom finally started. And if Bowser sneaked a few peaks at Luigi’s ass, well, that was his business.

Bonus:

bowser gets bored during normal meetings and jiggles his leg sometimes

he forgets luigi’s on his lap and starts doing it but luigi grunts at him and uses his thighs to tighten his hold  so he won’t fall off

because luigi’s using bowser’s knee as a writing surface and said knee is lower than a table cuz he’s sitting on it, luigi has to bend over a little to write comfortably

this means that sometimes, when writing notes, he’s got his hands on bowser’s knee trying to keep the papers flat and bowser keeps noticing his butt

thankfully the council members don’t notice cuz they’re all debating with each other

kamek notices bowser noticing tho ( ;=-=)

stupid sexy luigi, distracting him from his meeting LINK to simpsons reference

______________________________________________________________

vecchio troglodita rimbambito = old dumb troglodyte

signora = miss/ ma'am

signore = sir

per favore = please

[sexlapis]

obsessed with the idea of nanami just putting you on his lap whenever he gets the chance 💭

watching tv? you’re on his lap watching whatever he’s watching. working at his desk in his office? you’re on his lap watching him scribbling all over random paper work you couldn’t care less about. you’re playing video games? you’re on his lap just because he wants to watch you play the game you like spending his money on. you’re on the phone? he’s putting you one his lap, so now you’re both on the phone. you’re doing work? yeah, you’re on his lap and his chin is looking over your shoulder to admire your writing. you just got back from work? he’s putting you in his lap and listening to you talk about your boss and annoying coworkers.

just nanami putting you on his lap whenever he wants to!

ps i made a little fic abt it <3

[gojoest]

yakuza boss sukuna and his only weakness, his pretty wife. he’s got your name carved on his chest, he also gave you a gun to shoot him dead if you ever decide to leave him one day bc it’s till death do you part and if you leave him alive he will always come find you and drag you back

[auphelia]

You walk into Dottore's workshop, intending to surprise and fluster the old man. Prime is at his desk, not even glancing up as you come to stand beside him.

"Is that seat free?" Your voice is as confident as it can be, gesturing at his lap.

It backfires spectacularly as the ~10 segments also in the room all turn towards you, wide bug-like eyes staring as they all go "yes" in unison.

Prime was wearing earplugs.

A fight breaks out amongst the segments.

Prime is either too consumed by work, or outright ignoring the chaos.

You regret every choice leading to that moment.

[ryllen]

When he saved me on Glorious Masquerade, I finally understand why people like him (so thoughtful huhu .. TT TT)

[wolverinesprincess]

if you asked me about old man logan, i’d tell you that i love him and i think he’s handsome.

but if you asked me on a deeper level…

i’d tell you i’ve never been this feral over a man before. i’d let him do unspeakable things to me. take me in every way possible. till he’s 90? no we’re never stopping. he’s so fucking sexy. the gray hair and beard are giving me heart palpitations. that scene with the girl in the backseat flashing him and him smirking in response is keeping me up at night. i want to lick every inch of him. i want him to spit in my mouth. i want marks on my body to show everyone i’m his. i would be on my knees 24/7. i have lost any ability to be normal. he’s all i’m thinking about and no man will ever compare to him.

[backpackingspace]

Odysseus with his head in his wife's lap, happily not paying attention to anything, humming one of athenas song and carving something

Some random guy: your majesty----

Odysseus: not bothering to sit up: whatever my wife decided is fine.

[flowing-between-space]

.

[one-big-gulp]

Merry Christmas, I can’t button my jeans and I feel my lungs press against my stomach if I breathe in deep

[heartsoftruth]

BONO x SILVERSTONE 2024 | MERCEDES BOOK

"The pit garage erupted like we'd won a championship."

[lesbiannieism]

okay but logistically, how does the boys going with crystal on the plane even work? do they both have to sit on her lap? do they cram themselves into the floorboard by her feet? do they buy two extra plane tickets? do they hover? CAN they hover?

[hoziersmilligan]

adam is a cat person btw and accidentally tricked michael into thinking cats are quite literally god’s best, most loved creation. and then when they get out of the cage and michael actually meets a cat he’s a little underwhelmed. but he gets to know the creature and learns they are strikingly similar. they both want attention and love, but are unsure how to ask for it, and are scared it’ll make them look weak. they’re both perceived as unemotional and aloof by those not willing to give them a chance. and maybe michael understands a little better why adam was so willing to understand michael

[fiona-fififi]

Suddenly thinking about Buck, after he and Eddie finally get together, accompanying Eddie to his pick-up games every now and then just so he can sit on the sidelines to cheer Eddie on.

[babsaros]

they talk about testosterone gel like it’s the fentanyl of hrt

[snafubravado]

started watching drawtectives and i like him a normal and regular amount. and i am looking. respectfully

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Stu cuddling Billy like he's a giant teddy bear and Billy just letting him because he wants to feel loved