#sitting next to nasty biz

[mnfrostofficial]

cannot get over how refreshing it is every time the wild feature the whitecaps as their ~womens hockey crossposting~ or whatever :’) like. yeah. sister teams.

[writingoddess1125]

I am your Biggest Fan~ Pt. 2

WARNINGS: NON-Con, $mut, Face-Fuck, Spit as Lube, Hair Pulling, Dom!Buggy, Unprotected sex, DEAD-DOVE, Tsundare Buggy

Dirty Nasty $mut is below. Be warned ⚠️

I may have went overboard with the length- Also my first time writing $mut! Please tell me how I did and what you'd like to see next!

Buggy the Clown x GN Reader

Part 1: Biggest Fan Pt. 1

Buggy grinned as he stared down at (Y/N) keeping barely any space between the two of them as he bit up and down their neck. Listening to the mild hisses in pain and whimpers of fear- It was too sexy for him and made him want more.

"Captian!" A loud voice sounded making he growl and turn to see Cabaji. Holding his blades with some blood smeared on his face and costume.

"What do you want!?" Buggy Hissed in irritation.

"Sir, We have almost finished with the village. The Marines are sure to be informed" Ah right- this was a small village it wouldn't haven't taken long to pillage the place.

Buggy opened his mouth to speak but ended up getting a hard hit to his mouth as (Y/N) Slipped under his arms and tried to run. Buggy grabbing them by their hair with lightning fast reflexes yanking them back towards him- ignoring their cry for pain. Buggy growled at this as he glared down at (Y/N) before sighing-

"We set sail then, Get a move on!

He yelled at his first mate who nodded and dashed away to echo orders. Buggy gave a low chuckle at the performer, gripping their hair harder.

"Ill let you get that one for free since youre so damn cute Doll~ But looks like we are gonna have to rush our little act back to the Red Top~!"

He said cheerfully, her personality like a rubber ball constantly changing as he harshly flung them to the floor. Watching them trying to scramble for a quick second before he placed his boot on their back to pin them before looking around to for something to restrain them with. His eyes landing on the satin ribbons from the show. Snatching them quickly.

"Oh don't you love the irony~"

He grinned as he overpowered them with ease and tied the satin ribbons tightly around their hands and ankles.

"Let me go! YOU CANT DONT THIS YOU DIRTY PIR- MMHPH!"

They squealed as he shoved one of their lace fabrics into their mouth. Smirking at the sight and fluffing himself as a job well done. Quickly at the sound of the fire he grabbed the performer and tossed them over his shoulder, making sure to give their exposed ass a nice hard smack. Which earned him a angry squeal, before he took off.

Running out of the blood soaked bar and to the streets- It looked like what sidewalks in hell must. Blood, broken glass, fire and bodies- bodies of those who wouldn't be able to handle the long road of the show biz or audience left like animals on the street. (Y/N) screams muffled through the lace gag as they witnessed the carnage. Buggy laughing maniacally as he ran through those streets, sliding in the blood comically like this was another one of his performances. Seeing his crew rip the jewelry from the necks of people before either killing them or tightening harsh shackles to them.

Buggy skipped down the street till he reached his ship, Watching the new group of audience members being herded in like cattle to their final resting spots their seats. (Y/N) at this point sobbing as they were hauled away from the horror down to the Captian's room and tossed roughly on the large bed.

"Whoo! Just what I needed to get my Mojo back in seemed- Really got a full house this time!~"

He laughed, Taking off his hat and kicking his bloody boots off. Looking to (Y/N) and their pathetic form on his bed, shaking and with tears running down their cheeks

"Awww~ Baby No, No crying. I wanted to run that mascara a different way... tsk.. So messy"

The Captian grumbled, Grabbing his own little makeup bag and a hanky. He smiled down at them as he crawled towards them on the bed, Sitting before them making sure they were pinned with his legs as he chuckled at the sight of them under him. 'So cute'

He hummed as he wiped their tears away before opening the makeup bag.

"Now if you keep crying, I'm gonna have to keep doing your makeup all over again! And that's really gonna piss me off- So lets stop thay crying~"

Buggy said the last part darkly, (Y/N) staring up at Jim with pure terror as he smirked at the sight but nodded shakily. Sniffling through the lace gag as they tried to stop the tears from flowing.

"Good~ Very good sweetheart"

Carefully he reapplied the mascara and touched up the eyeshadow with what he owned which wasn't much. He pulled the lace gag from their lips and held their cheeks tightly with one hand and a firm grip

"Now stay still for this~"

He hummed, pulling out his favorite red and painted their lips perfectly. A wide grin playing as he saw his finished work, Placing another love bite to his newest toys neck but this time sinking deeper then before making (Y/N) cry out in pain as he broke skin. Pulling back to lick the blood from his teeth as he saw the mark.

"P-Please let me go- I don-"

He grabbed their face again (Y/N) flinching from his touch as he reached forward to fix their hair so they looked perfect.

"I-I don't want this- Please let me go- I'm begging"

Buggy almost rolled his eyes- if it wasn't for how adorable they were he would have slit their throat for how pathetic they sounded.

"Listen, Just so we are clear~ I am letting you live as MY plaything it's either this or I slit your throat and throw you overboard and I reeaalllyyy like you so I'd rather not waste such a pretty face"

He said with a smirk, watching the gears in the performers face as they realized the situation they were in. Giggling at the sight of realizing they didn't really have a choice, which was perfect. Reaching down to pull at the ankle restraints, tossing one peice of the satin ribbons to the side. However keeping the wrist one.

"Now nod if you understand-"

(Y/N) left their stomach sink- This was it... they either be this manic clowns play toy or end up like the poor villagers- in those shackles or worse.. They nodded shakily, Trying to hold back the want of breaking into sobs. Buggy clapped his hand happily and smiled brightly, those watercolor eyes swimming with pure joy at them understanding and in his mind agreeing- He kisses their cheek at this like a mock lovers and ran his hands down their form with a excited glee.

"You're perfect, I knew you were from the moment I laid eyes on you- So pretty and talented. And best of all you haven't even stared at my nose! I hate it when people do that, yet you never did... My name is Buggy.. Captian Buggy. I wanna hear you say it-"

He said happily, locking eyes with them again with his twisted smile. A unnatural yet beautiful smile on his lips as he stared at them.

"B-Buggy.. Captian Buggy"

They whispered back which earned another kiss to the cheek. His eyes racking their form as they sat there, one pasty on their chest, the remains of their costume with the added satin ribbons. He couldn't help but get aroused by their appearance again, chuckling darkly as he stared at them. Without saying a word he grabbed them roughly by the shoulders and pulled them off the bed, Setting them on their knees as he sat infront of.

(Y/N) Looked up at him with wide eyes, noticing the large tenting in his pants as he sat infront of her. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he wanted.. Buggy chuckled as he admired (Y/N) for a moment longer before undoing his pants- Cackling as his as his cock sprung out of his pants like a spring.

"Pop Goes the Weasal~!"

Buggy cock like the rest of him was large and unruly, the head a deep pink with a base of deep blue curls. (Y/N) looked up at Buggy again, seeing him smirking at their expression of seeing this part of him.

"Don't be shy now~"

(Y/N) nodded softly, giving a small tug on the restraints for a second of hope however there was no give so that was that- Leaning forward they parted their lips and took Buggy fully into their mouth.

Their nose brushing against the unkempt blue curls as they carefully ran their tongue over the organ. Buggy grumbling out gentle moans as he stared down at them, his pupils blown up with desire as he watched them. Laying kitten licks down his cock and coming back up to gently suck on the tip of his cock, While it felt delightful Buggy was greedy and of course- Wanted more~

Grabbing their hair harshly and smiling as he slammed them down fully on his dick, feeling them squeak and gag in shock. Setting his own pace as he roughly forced their head to bob at unnatural speeds, Moaning out roughly as he did so. His hips starting to thrust into (Y/N) mouth, enjoying the sound of the mild gagging and noises escaping (Y/N).

He looked down and saw with joy the beautiful mess he had created- (Y/N) face was red with tears, messy mascara running down their cheeks and their hair a tangled mess in his gloved hands- But it was their mouth. Oh those dirty lips wrapped around his cock staining it red with lipstick that damn near made his cum right then and there.

Yanking them off his dick he watched them struggle to catch their breath, a delicate mix of his precum laying on their tongue and mix. While (Y/N) looked up at him with those watery eyes that made him burn. In his eyes they looked like a masterpiece.

"Fuck~ I don't think I can last long with you looking like that~ Guess we gotta rush the performance Baby!~"

He cackled as he quickly pulled them up to their feet by their hair smiling at the sob that broke through them. Quickly he pushed bent them over the mattress, Smirking as he made sure to tighten the satin wrist restraints and smiled.

(Y/N) panted hard, they felt their face pressed into the plush bedding of the mattress and their eyes widened as the peices started to fall into place. Glancing back as they saw Buggy undoing his shirt fully and Tossing it to the side, As well as taking off the bandana that held his hair up. Letting it fall lose down his back with a relaxed sigh before meeting the gaze of (Y/N) again with a crooked smile.

Like the survival instincts kicked back in they scrambled against the bed trying to squirm away and kicked their legs wildly. Buggy cackled and presses his lower half against their ass essentially pinning them- Using his legs to trap their own against the wooden bed frame.

"N-NO! Wait-t!"

They sobbed out but Buggy was quick in grabbing their hair again and yanking their head back.

"Now Now Now let's not make a fuss!~ I do think we've already crossed the line of no return"

He said with a laugh, using his free hand to grab their ass and pulled to give himself a nice view an access. Forgetting he hadn't removed the thong from them yet- however no matter!~ he used his thumb to move the fabric aside and grinned, 'So smart!' Ignoring the squirming from the performer begging and trying to escape he spit at the open hole before him with a grin before positioning himself.

"Good enough~"

Purring as he started to inch his way in. (Y/N) choked back a cry as they left him inch his way in, He was too large- Unfairly so! It felt like they were being split in half. That toe curling pain that borders on pleasure shot through their body as air seemed to evade their lungs.

"That's it... Fuck"

Buggy growled out from above them, Grunting as he slammed the last of himself into them having grown inpatient to wait anymore. His hands left their hair, instead positioning themselves on their hips, feeling the dig of his gloved hands into the soft bruised flesh. With barely any time to fully adjust he started to move-

A deep growl rumbled through his chest as he started to speed up the time of his thrust, (Y/N) felt hot like liquid fire was being drawed from their core from the forced pleasure pulling our rugged breathless moans as if they had been made for that sole purpose. A broken chores of moans and groans leaving their bruised lips at Buggys ruthless pace, Buggy moaned out loudly as he felt them tightening around him his hips starting to shudder.

(Y/N) babbling out incoherent moans and whimpers at the harshness of the thrust and the feeling of a orgasm so close to breaking through them.

"F-Fuck Fuck!"

He roared out, Slamming himself harder into them with a thundering speed. Pressing his chest against their back as he panted in their ear, his blue locks edged with sweat sticking to his forehead and fanning around (Y/N) as they screamed out moans- fresh tears running down their cheeks staining the mattress below as a forced orgasm ripped through their form- their body quaking from the force of the orgasm that shot through their body- Buggy grunting loudly as he slammed himself into them fully and came.

Buggy panted hard afterwards, Releasing their bruised hip and pushing how blue locks from his face. A series of panted curses leaving his lips as he pulled out of (Y/N) marveling at the damage he had done. Seeing them limp and barely functioning he scooped them up and placed them fully on the bed, Spreading their ass again to marvel at his claim.

(Y/N) laid there panting, The ache between their legs making it impossible to get comforble especially with Buggy's rough fingers rubbing against their abused hole. The world started to fade to black from the exhaustion from the day but Buggy's voice echoed around them with his twisted chuckle.

"I can't wait for tomorrow's show (Y/N)~"

Tag List-

@honey-eyed-munson

[officevillas]

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[marmalodi]

John Lennon and Yoko Ono Interview: St. Regis Hotel, 9/5/1971

When we turned up at the St. Regis for our first interview, John and Yoko were still in bed. It was nearly afternoon and there was a flurry of activity in the adjacent rooms. May Pang was much in evidence, bustling about, her long black hair swirling around her. (This was a year or two before her affair with John.) She told us that our interview would have to be interrupted by a fitting for Yoko, which turned out to be to our advantage, because in Yoko's absence John was prepared to go back into the past and talk about Hamburg and the role of Brian Epstein.

We were served tea on a silver tray. John chain-smoked Gauloises, and the interview proceeded. It was obvious from the start that he was still angry at Paul, but when I played the tapes back later, I noticed he did not say anything negative about Paul's music. He attacked Paul for being bossy, arrogant, chauvinistic, etc, but in the next breath he would be telling us about Hamburg and about Paul having to be onstage for an hour and a half playing 'What'd I Say,' and you could hear the affection in his voice.

I have listened to these tapes many times, and I have always been struck by the contradictions within John Lennon. He tended to see the world in terms of black and white, and people were either on his good list or his hit list, and often subject to being switched from one to the other, according to which way the conversation turned. He was always outspoken, yet the charm of John's outspokenness was not only his way with words, but also that he was as critical and candid about himself as others. In the end it was this that made him endearing. He bared his soul about everything -- his insecurities, his mistakes -- and when he did so, even when he appeared ridiculous, he was a breath of fresh air in the entertainment world.

One moment I remember during the interview was when John and Yoko were leaning toward the microphone, each jostling the other to tell the story of how they met and fell in love. No one could have been in their presence for those minutes and not have been affected by it.

Neil Aspinal, the Beatles' longtime friend, said, 'The Beatles' world was an unreal world... a war zone.' It surely was. In a way I think Yoko brought John home. He found comfort, love, and understanding with her. He had a son by her and devoted himself to his child. I have no doubt he was a happier man in 1980 than he was in 1967 when he walked into that London art Gallery. - Peter McCabe (1984)

Q: "Let's talk about the Beatles' breakup, and the falling out between you and Paul. A lot of people think it had to do with the women in your lives. Is that why the Beatles split up?"

JOHN: "Not really. The split was over who would manage us -- Allen Klein or the Eastmans -- and nothing else really, although the split had been coming from Pepper onward."

Q: "Why, specifically?"

JOHN: "Paul was always upset about the White Album. He never liked it because on that one I did my music, he did his, and George did his. And first, he didn't like George having so many tracks. He wanted it to be more a group thing, which really means more Paul. So he never liked that album, and I always preferred it to all the other albums, including Pepper, because I thought the music was better. The Pepper myth is bigger, but the music on the White Album is far superior, I think."

Q: "That's your favorite, of all the Beatle albums?"

JOHN: "Yeah, because I wrote a lot of good shit on that. I like all the stuff I did on that, and the other stuff as well. I like the whole album. But if you're talking about the split, the split was over Allen and Eastman."

Q: "You didn't like Lee Eastman (Linda's father), nor John (Linda's brother), and the Eastmans didn't like Allen Klein..."

JOHN: "The Eastmans hated Allen from way back. They're from the class of family... like all classes, I suppose, they vote like Daddy does. They're the kind of kids who just think what their fathers told them."

Q: "But for a while you didn't get along with Linda."

JOHN: "We all got along well with Linda."

Q: "When did you first meet her?"

JOHN: "The first time was after that Apple press conference in America. We were going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

YOKO: "There was a nice quality about her. As a woman she doesn't offend you because she doesn't come on like a coquettish bird, you know? So she was alright, and we were on very good terms until Allen came into the picture. And then she said, 'Why the hell do you have to bring Allen into it?' She said very nasty things about Allen."

Q: "Yoko, you weren't with John the first time he met her?"

YOKO: "No. The first time I met her was when she came to the EMI studio. And you know, when Beatles are recording, there's very few people around, especially no women. If a young woman comes into the room, everybody just sort of looks at her. So I was there, and the first thing Linda made clear to me -- almost unnecessarily -- was the fact that she was interested in Paul, and not John, you know? She was sort of presupposing that I would be nervous. She just said, 'Oh, I'm with Paul.' Something to that effect. I think she was eager to be with me and John, in the sense that Paul and John are close, we should be close too. And couple to couple we were going to be good friends."

Q: "What was Paul's attitude to you as things progressed?"

YOKO: "Paul began complaining that I was sitting too close to them when they were recording, and that I should be in the background."

JOHN: "Paul was always gently coming up to Yoko and saying, 'Why don't you keep in the background a bit more?' I didn't know what was going on. It was going on behind my back."

Q: "So did that contribute to the split?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul rang me up. He didn't actually tell me he'd split, he said he was putting out an album. He said, 'I'm now doing what you and Yoko were doing last year. I understand what you were doing.' All that shit. So I said, 'Good luck to yer.'"

Q: "So, John. You and Paul were probably the greatest songwriting team in a generation. And you had this huge falling out. Were there always huge differences between you and Paul, or was there a time when you had a lot in common?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul always wanted the home life, you see. He liked it with daddy and the brother... and obviously missed his mother. And his dad was the whole thing. Just simple things. He wouldn't go against his dad and wear drainpipe trousers. And his dad was always trying to get me out of the group behind me back, I found out later. He'd say to George, 'Why don't you get rid of John, he's just a lot of trouble. Cut your hair nice and wear baggy trousers,' like I was the bad influence because I was the eldest. So Paul was always like that. And I was always saying, 'Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can't hit you. You can kill him (laughs) he's an old man.' I used to say, 'Don't take that shit.' But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, 'I need a steady career.' We couldn't believe it. Once he rang up and said he'd got this job and couldn't come to the group. So I told him on the phone, 'Either come or you're out.' So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me. But it was a long trip."

Q: "So you think with Linda he's found what he wanted?"

JOHN: "I guess so. I guess so. I just don't understand. I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty. But you don't really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd married Jane because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like -- boom! She was in and that was the end of it."

Q: "So if the falling out was essentially with Paul, what made you decide not to participate in the Bangladesh concert with George?"

JOHN: "I told George about a week before it that I wouldn't be doing it. I just didn't feel like it. I just didn't want to be fucking rehearsing and doing a big show-biz trip. We were in the Virgin Islands, and I certainly wasn't going to be rehearsing in New York, then going back to the Virgin Islands, then coming back up to New York and singing. And anyway, they couldn't have got any more people in, if I'd been there or not. I got enough money off records and I don't feel like doing two shows a night."

Q: "Do you have any regrets about not doing it?"

JOHN: "Well, at first I thought, 'Oh, I wish I'd been there,' you know, with Dylan and Leon... they needed a rocker. Everybody was telling me 'You should have been there, John,' but I'm glad I didn't do it in a way because I didn't want to go on as 'The Beatles.' And with George and Ringo there it would have had that connotation of Beatles -- Now let's hear Ringo sing 'It Don't Come Easy.' That's why I left it all. I don't want to play 'My Sweet Lord.' I'd as soon go out and do exactly what I want."

Q: "John, you said you 'get enough off records,' but you used to say you weren't as rich as people thought you were. Are you rich enough finally?"

JOHN: "Well, I do have money for the first time ever, really. I do feel slightly secure about it, secure enough to say I'll go on the road for free. The reason I got rich is because I'm so insecure. I couldn't give it all away, even in my most holy, Christian, God-fearing, Hare Krishna period. I need it because I'm so insecure. Yoko doesn't need it. She always had it. I have to have it. I'm not secure enough to give it all up, because I need it to protect me from whatever I'm frightened of."

YOKO: "He's very vulnerable."

JOHN: "But now I think that Allen Klein has made me secure enough, it's his fault that I'll go out for free."

Q: "You mean tour for free?"

JOHN: "Well, I thought I can't really go on the road and take a lot more money. What am I going to do with it? I've got all the fucking bread I need. If I go broke, well, I'd go on the road for money then. But now I just couldn't face saying, 'Well, I cost a million when I sing.'"

YOKO: "It's criminal."

JOHN: "It's bullshit, because I want to sing. So I'm going out on the road because I want to this time. I want to do something political, and radicalize people, and all that jazz. I feel like going out with Yoko, and taking a really far-out show on the road, a mobile, political, rock and roll show."

YOKO: "With clowns as well."

JOHN: "You know what I was thinking -- when Paul's going out on the road, I'd like to be playing in the same town for free next door! And he's charging about a million. That would be funny."

YOKO: "Our position is -- I come from the East, he comes from the West -- a meeting of East and West, and all that. And to communicate with people is almost a responsibility. We actually are living proof of East and West getting along together. High water falls low, you know. And if our cup is full, it's going to flow. It's natural for us to give because we have a lot. If we don't give, it's criminal, in the sense that it's going against the law of nature. In order to go against the law of nature you have to use tremendous energy."

Q: "Let's talk about Allen Klein. He has a reputation as a tough wheeler-dealer in the music business. What made you decide to have him as your manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Allen's human, whereas Eastman and all them other people are automatons. And one of the early things that impressed me about Allen -- and obviously it was a kind of flattery as well -- was that he really knew which stuff I'd written. Not many people knew which was my song and which was Paul's, but he'd say, 'Well, McCartney didn't write that line, did he?' I thought, anybody who knows me this well, just by listening to records, is pretty perceptive. I'm not the easiest guy to read, although I'm fairly naive and open in some ways, and I can be conned easily. But in other ways I'm quite complicated, and it's not easy to get through all the defenses and see what I'm like. Allen knew to come to me and not to go to Paul, whereas somebody like Lew Grade or Eastman would have gone to Paul."

Q: "Did Klein hope to get Paul back into the group?"

JOHN: (laughs) "He came up with this plan. He said, "Just ring Paul and say, 'We're recording next Friday, are you coming?' So it nearly happened. Then Paul would have forfeited his right to split by joining us again. But Paul would never, never do it, for anything, and now I would never do it."

Q: "There was a lot of negative publicity about Klein. Didn't that bother you?"

JOHN: "Well, he's a businessman. He's probably cut many peoples' throats. So have I. I made it too. I mean, I can't remember anybody I literally cut, but I've certainly trod on a few feet on the way up. And I'm sure Allen did also."

Q: "How does Klein compare with Brian Epstein as a manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Brian couldn't delegate, and neither can Allen. But I understand that. When I try and delegate it never gets done properly. Like with my albums and Yoko's, each time I have to go through the same process -- Get the printing size right. I want it clear and simple. I have to go through the same jazz all the time. It's never a lesson learned."

Q: "Let's get back to something we were talking about earlier. The attitude of the other Beatles toward Yoko."

JOHN: "They don't listen to women. Women are chicks to them."

Q: "What about George?"

JOHN: "George always has a point of view about that wide (he holds his hands close together), you know? You can't tell him anything."

YOKO: "George is sophisticated, fashionwise..."

JOHN: "He's very trendy, and he has the right clothes on, and all of that."

YOKO: "But he's not sophisticated, intellectually."

JOHN: "No. He's very narrow-minded. One time in the Apple office I was saying something, and he said, 'I'm as intelligent as you, you know.' This must have been resentment. Of course he's got an inferiority complex from working with Paul and me."

Q: "John, what did you think of Yoko's work when you first saw it?"

JOHN: "Well, her gallery show was a bit of an eye-opener. I wasn't sure what it was all about. I knew there was some sort of con game going on. She calls herself a concept artist, but with the 'cept' left off, it's con artist. I saw that side of it and that was interesting. And then we met."

Q: "Was it love at first sight?"

JOHN: "Well, I always had this dream of meeting an artist woman I would fall in love with. Even from art school. And when we met and were talking I just realized that she knew everything I knew -- and more probably. And it was coming out of a woman's head. It just sort of bowled me over. It was like finding gold or something. To have exactly the same relationship with any male you'd ever had, but also you could go to bed with it, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired or sick or depressed. Could also be Mother. And if the intellect is there... well, it's just like winning the pools. So that's why when people ask me for a precis of my story, I put, 'born, lived, met Yoko.' because that's what it's been about.

"As she was talking to me I would get high, and the discussion would get to such a level that I would be going higher and higher. And when she'd leave, I'd go back into this sort of suburbia. Then I'd meet her again and my head would go off like I was on an acid trip. I'd be going over what she'd said and it was incredible, some of the ideas and the was she was saying them, And then once I got a sniff of it I was hooked. Then I couldn't leave her alone. We couldn't be apart for a minute from then on."

YOKO: "He has this nature, and I'm thankful for it. Most men are so narrow-minded. Somebody once told me, 'You don't make small talk, and that's why men hate you.' I mean, I have so many male enemies who try to stifle me. What the hell."

JOHN: "I did the same, of course. I found myself being a chauvinist pig with her. Then I started thinking, 'Well, if I said that to Paul, or asked Paul to do that, or George, or Ringo, they'd tell me to fuck off.' And then you realize -- you just have this attitude to women that is just insane! It's beyond belief , the way we're brought up to think of women. And I had to keep saying, 'Well, would I tell a guy to do that? Would I say that to a guy? Would a guy take that?' Then I started to get nervous. I thought, 'Fuck, I better treat her right or she's going to go. No friend's going to stick around for this treatment."

Q: Did you know anything about rock music, Yoko, when you first met John?"

YOKO: "I didn't know anything about rock music, or anything like it. I thought of rock songs as something a bit lower than poetry. It was like reading poetry that had a definite rhythm to it."

JOHN: "She used to say, "Why are you doing the same beat all the time?' I used to get very irritated."

Q: "What were your feelings about art and the art world at that time?"

JOHN: "Well, I went to art school and I thought that was the art world, virtually. And they're all such pretentious hypocrites. There was no artist I admired, except for maybe Dali or someone from the past. And when I read the art reviews... I couldn't understand why I wasn't being reviewed for my art, because I always felt like an artist.

"So I went to her show. I was thinking, 'Fucking artist shit. It's all bullshit.' But then there were so many good jokes in it, real good eye-openers."

YOKO: "That's another thing, most artists don't have a sense of humor."

JOHN: "And there was a sense of humor in her work, you know? It was funny. Her work really made me laugh, some of it. So that's when I got interested in art again, just through her work."

YOKO: "All the men I met, I felt they were more pretentious than me, hypocritical, narrower than me, and not genuine. And I'm talented. Because I can compose, I can paint, I can be in many fields. Most men that I met were bragging about their professionalism in one field."

JOHN: "They get one idea and flog it to death, and become famous on one idea."

YOKO: "And fucking conservative, you know? And they talk about women not having a sense of humor. I used to despise every man that I met. I was thinking, 'There's something wrong with me, because everybody hated me for it.' And then I met this man, and for the first time I got the fright of my life because here was a man who was just as genuine, maybe more genuine than me. He's very genuine. And he can do anything I can do, which is very unusual. And I got surprised. And that happened at the first meeting."

JOHN: "It took me a long time to get used to it. Any woman I could shout down. Most of my arguments used to be a question of who could shout the loudest. Normally I could win, whether I was right or wrong, especially if the argument was with a woman -- they'd just give in. But she didn't. She'd go on and on and on, until I understood it. Then I had to treat her with respect."

Q: "Yoko, did you have any idea of what the Beatles' life had been like, on tours for example?"

JOHN: "She was really shocked. I thought the art world was loose, you know? And when I started telling her about what our life was like, she couldn't believe it."

YOKO: "I came from a different generation. I mean, my friends didn't want me to know they smoked pot, you know? So I thought 'Oh, he's an artist. He's probably had two or three affairs.' Then I heard the whole story and I thought, 'My God!'"

JOHN: "She was just like this silly Eastern nun wandering about, thinking it was all spiritual."

YOKO: "He once said to me, 'Well, were you a groupie in the art world?' I said, 'What's a groupie?'"

JOHN: "So I said, 'Just tell me. I don't want to go 'round and fucking Picasso or someone comes up and says, 'Yes, I've had her.'"

YOKO: "And I really didn't know the word 'groupie.'"

JOHN: "So anyway, I'd been dying to tell her about the 'raving' on tour. I just wanted her to know what a scene it was. I thought it was silly not to say it. And of course the people with us were living like fucking emperors when we were locked in our rooms. That's why they cling so much to the past."

Q: "Talking of your entourage, do you resent it that so many people take credit for their contributions to the Beatles?"

JOHN: "Well, there was an article on George Martin in Melody Maker -- he's telling all these stories. He says, well, I showed them how to play feedback, or put tape loops together, or some arbitrary little technical thing... Where is the great talent of George Martin and Derek Taylor, and the legacy of Brian Epstein? Where is their talent?"

YOKO: "It's like my ex-husband saying that he sacrificed his talent for me, or something."

JOHN: "Well, I never had anything against George Martin. I just didn't like all the rumors that he actually was the brains behind the Beatles. I can't stand that."

Q: "Let's talk about Brian Epstein, your first manager. What did you think of him?"

JOHN: " I liked Brian. I had a very close relationship with him for years, like I have with Allen, because I'm not going to have some stranger running the scene, that's all. I was close with Brian, as close as you can get with someone who lives sort of the fag life, and you don't really know what they're doing on the side. But in the group I was closest to him. He had great qualities and was good fun.

"He was a theatrical man rather than a businessman, and with us he was a bit like that. He literally fucking cleaned us up. And there were great fights between him and me, over years and years, of me not wanting to dress up. He and Paul had some kind of collusion... to keep me straight. Because I kept spoiling the image, like the time I beat up a guy at Paul's twenty-first. I nearly killed him, because he insinuated that me and Brian had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind.

What I think about the Beatles is that even if there had been Paul and John and two other people, we'd never have been the Beatles. It had to take that combination of Paul, John, George and Ringo to make the Beatles. There's no such thing as 'Well, John and Paul wrote all the songs, therefore they contributed more.' because if it hadn't been us we would have got songs from somewhere else. And Brian contributed as much as us in the early days, although we were the talent and he was the hustler."

Q: "So after Brian died you made 'Magical Mystery Tour.' You said Paul was acting as if he were going to take charge of everything?"

JOHN: "Well, I still felt, every now and then, that Brian would come in and say, 'It's time to record,' or 'Time to do this.' And then Paul started doing that -- 'Now we're going to make a movie,' or 'Now we're going to make a record.' And he assumed that if he didn't call us, nobody would ever make a record. Well, it's since shown that we managed quite well to make records on time. I don't have any schedule, I just think, 'Now I'll make it.' But in those days, Paul would say that now he felt like it. And suddenly I'd have to whip out 20 songs. He'd come in with about 20 good songs and say 'We're recording.' And I had to suddenly write a fucking stack of songs. Pepper was like that. Magical Mystery Tour was another. So I hastily did my bits for it and we went out on the road. And Paul did the thing for his album -- the big-timer, auditioning directors."

Q: Let's go back for a minute and talk about all the early influences on the Beatles. What would you say had the greatest effect on the group? Was it Liverpool? The Cavern? Hamburg? Did Hamburg really improve the playing?"

JOHN: "Oh, amazingly. Because before that we'd only been playing bits and pieces, but in Hamburg we had to play for hours and hours on end. Every song lasted 20 minutes and had 20 solos in it. We'd be playing eight or ten hours a night. And that's what improved the playing. Also, the Germans like heavy rock, so you have to keep rocking all the time, and that's how we got stomping. That's how it developed. That made the sound. Because we developed a sound by playing hours and hours and hours together."

Q: "You all must have found yourself playing in some unbelievably bad conditions."

JOHN: "Yeah, but it was still rather thrilling when you went onstage. A little frightening because it wasn't a dancehall, and all these people were sitting down, expecting something. And then they would tell us to 'mak show'. After the first night they said, 'You were terrible. You have to make a show -- Mak show!' So I put my guitar down and I did Gene Vincent all night. You know -- banging and lying on the floor and throwing the mic about and pretending I had a bad leg. They're all doing it now -- lying on the floor and banging the guitar and kicking things and just doing all that jazz.

"Then they moved us to another club, which was larger and where they danced. Paul would be doing 'What'd I Say' for an hour and a half. And these gangsters would come in -- the local mafia. They'd send a crate of champagne onstage... this imitation German champagne, and we had to drink it or they'd kill us. They'd say, 'Drink it and then do What'd I Say.' We'd have to do this other show, whatever time of night. If they came in at five in the morning and we'd been playing for seven hours, they'd give us a crate of champagne and we were supposed to carry on. We'd get pills off the waiters then, to keep awake. That's how all that started.

"I used to be so pissed I'd be lying on the floor behind the piano, drunk, while the rest of the group was playing. I'd just be onstage fast asleep. Some of the shows, I went on just in me underpants. I'd go on in underpants with a toilet seat 'round me neck, and all sorts of gear on. Out of me fucking mind!"

Q: When did you get into acid? Did Paul time his LSD announcement to coincide with the release of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?"

JOHN: "No. We'd had acid on Revolver. Everyone is under this illusion... even George Martin saying 'Pepper was their acid album,' but we'd had acid, including Paul, by the time Revolver was finished."

Q: "So why did he make that big announcement?"

JOHN: "Because the press had cornered him. I don't know how they found out about him taking it. But that was a year after we'd all taken it. Rubber Soul was our pot album, and Revolver was acid. I mean, we weren't all stoned making Rubber Soul because in those days we couldn't work on pot. We never recorded under acid or anything like that. It's like saying, 'Did Dylan Thomas write Under Milk Wood on beer?' What the fuck does that have to do with it? The beer is to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on him. The drugs are to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on you. They don't make you write better. I never wrote any better stuff because I was on acid or not on acid."

Q: "Did the fact that Sergeant Pepper inspired so many people to try LSD surprise you?"

JOHN: "Well, I never felt that Haight-Ashbury was a direct result. It always seemed to me that all sorts of things were happening at once. The acid thing in America was going on long before Pepper. Leary was going around saying, 'Take it, take it, take it.' We followed his instruction. I did it just like he said in the Book Of The Dead, and then I wrote Tomorrow Never Knows,' which is on Revolver, and which was almost the first acid song -- 'Lay down all thought, surrender to the void' -- and all that shit. Do you remember if Paul's statement on acid came out after Sergeant Pepper?"

Q: "Just as it was released."

JOHN: "I see. He always times his big announcements right on the letter, doesn't he. Like leaving the Beatles. Maybe it's instinctive. It probably is. Anyway, 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds' is not about LSD. And Henry the Horse is not about smack on Sergeant Pepper, because I'd never even seen it when we made Sergeant Pepper. But those kinds of stories evolved from it -- people thought if you listened to it backwards it said 'Paul is dead.' All that shit is just gobbledygook."

Q: "Still, many who got into acid might never have followed Timothy Leary but did follow the Beatles."

JOHN: "Well, blame it on Dylan. He turned us onto pot."

Q: "Having written so much with Paul, do you think it's possible for there to be some type of settlement, outside of business?"

JOHN: "Well, there's no way for it to be settled 'outside business,' because it all gets down to who owns a bit of what. It's a house we own together, and there's no way of settling it, unless we all decide to live in it together. It has to be sold."

Q: "Have you missed writing songs with him?"

JOHN: "No I haven't. I wrote alone in the early days. We used to write separately. He used to write songs before I even started writing songs. I think he did. And we'd written separately for years. I wrote 'Help.' I wrote 'A Hard Day's Night.' He wrote 'Yesterday.' They'd been separate for years.

"In the early days we'd write together for fun, and later on for convenience to get so many numbers out for an album. But our best songs were always written alone. And things like 'A Day In The Life' was just my song and his song stuck together. I mean we used to sit down and finish off each other's songs. You know, you could have three quarters of a song finished and we'd just sit together, bring ten songs each, and finish off the tail ends, and put middle eights in ones that you couldn't be bothered fixing, because they weren't all that good anyway.

"We usually got together on songs that were less interesting. Now and then we'd write together from scratch. 'I Want To Hold Your Hand,' things like that were done like that. But we'd been working apart ever since we were working together. It was only news to the public that a lot of Lennon-McCartney songs weren't Lennon-McCartney. That was something we'd agreed on years ago."

Q: "Do you think it was a mistake in retrospect to have named everything Lennon-McCartney?"

JOHN: "No, I don't, because it worked very well and it was useful. Then it was useful, so it was quite good fun. I've nothing against it."

Q: "If you got, I don't know what the right phrase is... 'back together' now, what would be the nature of it?"

JOHN: "Well, it's like saying, if you were back in your mother's womb... I don't fucking know. What can I answer? It will never happen, so there's no use contemplating it. Even if I became friends with Paul again, I'd never write with him again. There's no point. I write with Yoko because she's in the same room with me."

YOKO: "And we're living together."

JOHN: "So it's natural. I was living with Paul then, so I wrote with him. It's whoever you're living with. He writes with Linda. He's living with her. It's just natural."

Source: Transcribed by www.beatlesinterviews.org from original magazine issue

[creator-zee]

189

      Nix limped along the path. She was exhausted, completely drained of magic, and suffering from several wounds. She had to get somewhere safe so she could rest and heal. She tugged on her hood, making sure that it was firmly in place. 

        Her outfit was rather strange, consisting of a strange cloak-like piece of clothing. It was like a thick shirt, but cut the sleeves off, add a hood, and add a long trailing edge that went to mid thigh and wrapped around her legs loosely. Her arms were bare, and one was covered in blood. She wore leather boots, but plain pants. One leg was also soaked in blood, her left leg, the one she was limping on. One hand was pressed against her stomach, as blood ran through her fingers. Her free left hand ghosted against her dagger at her thigh. She had two swords strapped to her back, but she doubted that she had enough strength left to properly wield them. She didn’t know what good she would do with the dagger either, but it provided her some comfort.

        A tall figure suddenly stepped into view. Nix tried to duck out of view into the trees, but it was too late, she had been seen. She drew her dagger, but her grip was slippery from the blood dripping down her arm from the cut higher up. 

         The figure raised their hands in surrender. “Easy, let me help you. You’re hurt, badly.”

         Nix sized up the tall figure. “I’m fine.” She grunted, as she once again anxiously tugged up her hood, dagger still in hand.

         The figure snorted. “That’s a lie. Come on, let me help you.”

        Nix knew she probably needed the help, but she couldn’t risk the stranger finding out her secret. 

         “I’m fine.” She reasserted.

         The figure shook their head. “Still a lie. I can see the blood staining your pants, your arm is actively bleeding, and that wound you’re clutching doesn’t look much better.”

          “Fine.” Nix grunted, as she stumbled back into a tree, leg refusing her weight. “On my terms though. Cloak stays on.”

          The figure raised an eyebrow at the strange request but nodded, stepping forwards, looping their arm under Nix’s smaller frame, and help Nix limp down the trail. 

          “I’m Rogue by the way. I have a place not far from here.” The stranger introduced. 

          Nix just grunted, focusing on walking. 

         Rogue’s place turned out to be a retrofitted cave that was hidden in the woods away from prying eyes. Rogue tried to lay Nix down on the bed, but Nix resisted, sitting on the edge of the bed instead.

         Rogue sighed. “We should look at the wound on your stomach first. It looks the worse.”

         “Leg first.” Nix grunted. “Just a scratch.” 

          Rogue nodded, realizing that if it was a stab the stranger would probably be dead.

          Rogue instead moved to the leg, the fabric was soaked with blood, but she couldn’t see exactly where the wound was. She started by unbuckling the dagger sheath.

          “Take off your pants.” Rogue asked, but tried to leave no room for argument. It didn’t work. 

           “No.” Nix grunted, her voice barely above a whisper.

            “Why are you making this so difficult?” Rogue snapped. “Let me help you.”

           Nix sighed, and began fumbling with her belt. Realizing she was giving in, Rogue quickly reached forwards and helped, slipping the pants to below her knees. Rogue could now see the wound, it was a nasty stab wound. She was surprised that this stranger was still walking, still talking, still alive.

          She held a bandage tightly to it, trying to slow the bleeding. She pressed the strangers hand against it to keep pressure as she turned and grabbed some herbs from behind her. Nix focused just on staying conscious. She couldn’t pass out. She couldn’t risk the stranger finding out. Even now she kept her tail carefully pressed between her right leg and her cloak, hiding it from view. Her hood hid her ears, she just had to make sure it stayed up. 

        Rogue returned and pressed a medicinal mix of herbs against the wound before wrapping it, tight enough to stop the bleeding, but not to cut off blood flow to the leg. She slipped the strangers pants back up, before reaching for their hand that was pressed against the stomach. Then Rogue paused, moving instead to unbuckle the swords from the strangers back, then she moved back to the wound. 

         Rogue searched for an opening in the center of the shirt, no luck. Next, she tried pulling it up, but the outer layer of the cloak was too thick and too tight. 

         “I need to take this off to get to the wound.” Rogue asserted, looking up trying to meet the strangers eyes. 

         “No.” Nix grunted our, somehow still forceful, despite the weakness.

          Rogue sighed. “Fine I’ll do your arm first.”

          At least that was easy to access seeing as the stranger wore no sleeves. The cut was on their bicep, and could’ve been much worse. Rogue worked with practiced efficiency as she cleaned and stitched up the wound before applying a small amount of the herbs and wrapping it. 

        “I have to do the stomach one.” Rogue stated. 

         “No.” Nix grunted again as she fought to remain conscious. “Cloak stays on.”

        “What’s so special that you’re risking your health?” Rogue demanded. 

        “I - secret.” Nix grunted, the battle to stay conscious becoming increasingly more difficult.

         “How about this?” Rogue bargained. “You trader that cloak for on of mine that’s open in the front so I can get to the injury.

          Nix just grunted, and Rogue took that as confirmation.

          Rogue began sliding the cloak over Nix’s head. Nix was too weak to fight it. Luckily, Rogue was more focused on the remaining shirt underneath. They tugged the cloak off the last part, quickly fastening their own around Nix, pulling the hood up without even looking, more focused on the bleeding wound. Rouge pushed up to lisser undershirt, revealing a cut that stretched across Nix’s abdomen, near her hips. It was shallow, but long. Rogue didn’t bother stitching it - it wasn’t deep enough, but she spread the herbs along it and wrapped it. Just as Rogue was finishing, Nix lost the battle and slumped into unconsciousness. 

        Rogue carefully laid the stranger back on the bed, before sitting back on her heels (she had been kneeling on the floor). That was very strange, and she knew it was probably risky to let someone so worried about hiding into her home, but she couldn’t just let them die. Besides, they weren’t in any condition to fight back. 

189.1

        Nix woke in a slight panic as she didn’t recognize her surroundings. Her panic only grew as she reached for her dagger and it wasn’t there. The fact that she wasn’t wearing her normal cloak didn’t help matters as she struggled to breath through her growing panic. Focus. Magic. Yes. It had replenished. She quickly channeled half of her magic into the charm on her necklace before activating it, shapeshifting into a normal human form. Safe from her secret being revealed, Nix’s breaths began to level out.

        She remembered the events of last night. She saw her savior, Rogue, dozing in a chair. Nix began to get to work, moving silently. She shed Rogue’s cloak, no longer needing to hide cat ears or tail. She healed her wounds, using up most of her remaining magic, she wasn’t worried though, it was already replenishing since she hadn’t bottomed out. They had surprisingly already been healed a decent portion, Rogue’s herbs doing their job well.

        Nix removed her bandages, having no need for them since she was healed she would have to clean up her clothes later. Right now she grabbed her cloak and pulled it back on, the familiar comfort of it, helping calm the last of her nerves. She kept her hood pulled up, better safe than sorry.

         Rogue had placed her blades next to her cloak and she quickly fastened them back on. Swords on her back and dagger on her left leg. Rogue was finally waking up, and was surprised to see Nix up and moving. 

          “You should be resting.” She grunted, as she stood up, blinking off sleep.

           “Magic healed my wounds.” Nix explained. “Thank you. You saved my life.”

           “You didn’t make it easy.” Rogue grumbled.

           “I know and I’m sorry.” Nix apologized. “I owe you. Give me your wrist.”

           Rogue stared at Nix in confusion but complied. 

           Nix wrapped a piece of string around Rogues wrist, wrapping it three times before tying it securely, she chandelles her magic into it, and it flowed slightly before returning to normal.

          “When you cut this off, I will know, and I will come to your aid. Then I can pay you back for saving my life.” Nix explained.

           She finished strapping her pouches to her right leg as Rogue processed. 

           Rogue finally chuckled slightly. “I should save random mysterious strangers from dying more often.”

            Nix smiled. “I’m sure they would be grateful. Thank you again, remember, cut it and I will come, any time.”

            Rogue nodded. “I remember, now try to save alive.”

            Nix nodded before leaving the other woman’s shelter.

            Rogue stopped her at the door. “Wait, what’s your name?”

             “Nix.”

189.2

          Nix froze at the strange tugging sensation. It took her a second to realize what it was, she had given that string away years ago. But sure enough she felt the tugging on her magic as a location lit up in her mind. These bandits would have to wait. Nix turned away from the stunned thieves and teleported right to the location. 

         She appeared right next to Rogue. It only took Nix a few moments to recognize the danger. Three giants that were quickly approaching. Fuck. What had Rogue gotten herself into?

         Nix glanced briefly at Rogue who was laying crumpled on the ground. Biz checked her over with a quick spell, aware of the giant only seconds away. She would survive long enough for Nix to deal with the giants and then heal her.

         Nix began running away from Rogue, shouting to get the giant’s attention away from the fallen warrior. She knew there was only one way she was fighting three giants, by becoming one. She gained some distance before she chamelles her magic into first storing her current attire in her necklace and second shifting into a massive giant. It wasn’t a form she took very often so it was slightly challenging but when she rose as a towering giant, she roared. 

      The other giants snarled back in challenge. Nix grinned, this was going to be fun. She teleported the giant’s club into her own hand and charged. 

       It was moments like these that made Nix grateful that, unlike some witches, she had taken the time to hone her physical combat skills, not just her magical ones. 

        Nix had to work quickly though, keeping up a shape this large was draining her magic faster than it could replenish. 

       The first giant was a bit of a learning curve. She wasn’t used to this shape so it took a bit of adjusting to fight well. But, but the time the first giant was collapsing to the ground, Nix had gotten the hand of it. She wasn’t as good as in her more common forms, but she was good enough. Good enough that as the lady’s giant was falling she was shifting back into her true form, right on the edge of being out of magic. 

       She tugged on her hood, making sure it was in place as she ran back over to Rogue. She knew she still needed to heal the warrior, and she knew that she’d have to use the magic in her necklace to do so. Which meant that she couldn’t shift into human form.

        Nix sighed. It was worth it. She had to save Rogue’s life, she had to repay the favor. 

         So, she shifted Rogue’s form to lay flat. The other warrior was conscious, but in an incredible amount of pain. Nix carefully straddled Rogue, careful not  to put any pressure on the injured warrior. She slipped her gloves off and placed her hands on rogues wrists, before channeling her magic from her necklace through her and into Rogue, healing broken bones and cuts and scrapes. Nix’s eyes were closed as she concentrated on guiding her magic through Rogue. 

        Rogue on the other hand, kept her eyes open, trained on the face of the mysterious woman. Who was she? The hood was pulled up, hiding the woman’s face from view, shadows obscuring the features. Rogue let her eyes wander over the strange cloak she wore. Her arms were completely exposed, but that was it. The cloak covered everything else. Wrapping tightly around the chest before flaring out at the bottom and wrapping loosely around the legs.

       It was such an odd choice. Why leave the arms uncovered? In her fatigue and pain-addled state, Rogue didn’t really mind. They were hot arms. Lean muscles with scars dotted along them. More than the last time she’d seen Nix, and she could still see the one she’d helped patch up. 

        Finally, Nix opened her eyes, having finished healing Rogue. She began to stand, before collapsing back to the ground, hands slamming into the ground on either side of Rogue. A wave of fatigue had hit her, the result of using so much magic.

        “Sorry.” Nix mumbled. “Just give me a sec.”

         The world stopped spinning and she picked herself back up, off Rogue. Rogue pushed herself into a seated position, staring at Nix in awe.

          “You know what scares me?” Rogue asked.

           Nix shrugged, she barely knew Rogue. “What?”

          “You just killed three giants, by turning into one, and still had enough magic left to heal me, even though you teleported here from who knows where, and somehow someone managed to injure you enough that you needed to be saved.” Rogue said.

           Nix was left stunned. She wasn’t used to complements like that, or really people acknowledging her, period. She had no idea how to respond, so she didn’t.

         “Why were you being attacked by three giants?” She asked instead. 

         “I was hired to deal with a giant that had been stealing farmer’s livestock. They didn’t mention anything about three.” Rogue said, and then added after a slight pause. “I didn’t know you were a shapeshifter.”

          “Anyone with magic can be a shapeshifter.” Nix pointed out. “Also you don’t know me.”

          “Fair enough.” Rogue shrugged. “But maybe I want to...”

          “I’m a mercenary.” Nix deadpanned. “It doesn’t leave much time for getting to know people.”

           “I know, I am one, but maybe we could partner up?” Rogue suggested, as she stood up. 

           Nix sighed. She chose to work alone for a reason. It was much easier to keep secrets.

         “I work alone.” She said plainly, but the statement was somewhat undermined by the fact that she got hit by another wave of exhaustion and swayed on her feet slightly.

          Rogue steadied her with a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

           Nix brushed off her hand and her concern. “Fine, I just need to rest.”

           “Are you sure?” Rogue pressed, concerned.

           “Yes!” Nix snapped, before stepping back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I just - I - I work alone for a reason. I get that you want some super powerful partner, but I’m not in the business. And, I’m not all that powerful. I can still be taken down.”

           “Okay... I get it... no means no. I’ll back off, but partner’s can be useful for mercenaries.” Rogue said, holding her hands up in surrender.

          “For some.” Nix muttered. “I’m leaving now, if I see you, I see you. I’m glad I could repay my debt to you.”

          Rogue nodded. “It was good to see you again. Try to stay alive.”

         Nix nodded and they parted ways. 

[wherearemyglassesbro]

How can I survive high school?

Ahhh!!!!!!!!!!

Get shit done!! I know it seems hard sometimes and daaaaang, not doing that math homework sounds very appealing but you gotta get ‘er done! Buckle down, slurp some water and focus. It’s best to sit at the table, not your bed or couch cause you’ll slouch and get too comfy. It’s fine to take breaks! But KEEP YOUR PHONE AWAY!! It becomes too tempting! For me at least

Sometimes you gotta do whats best for you! In group projects, taking things into your own hands may not seem very ‘teamwork’ oriented but if shit isn’t getting done, do it and then tell the teacher if your group was giving you trouble cause I can guarantee, from multiple personal experiences, that your teacher will dock points off your partners or bump your grade up as compensation

Don’t be afraid to tell people off! If something’s bothering you, let that person know cause assigned seats really just grind my beans. Be polite at first and then be snarky if you must! “Hey! Sorry to bother you but when you chew your gum with your mouth open, it makes it hard for me to focus cause that’s absolutely repulsive. Cant you hear how nasty you sound? It ain’t cute sis. Canceled”

Working alone is better sometimes! Working with your friends is always fun but do they weigh you down? Do they joke around to the point where nothing gets done? I love working with my buddies! But if they’re preventing me from working, I let them know and then blast Queen into my ears

Get sleep before tests!! SO important! Nighttime crams are great to some extent but any time spent studying past 10pm will leave you d e a d the next day

Wear what you want but dont disrespect the school’s rules. The dress code is there to 1. Prep you for the outside world cause in formaal situations or the work place (or in general really) fursuits or sheer shorts will not be allowed. And 2. Expressing yourself is important! But exposing your biz is nasty! Do that on your own time Aaaaand 3. It makes it easier for everyone if you just stick to the rules. Adults don’t want to fight with you and I can assure you that detentions being on your record aren’t worth it...Wear your translucent shorts on the weekends, ok?

If you have no one to sit with at lunch, eat in the library or befriend a teacher! Throughout my highschool experience I’ve been a ✨ L o n e r ✨ I’ve sat in the library more times than I can count! That’s kinda nice cause I got a lot of work done! I’ve also sat with teachers in their rooms on multiple occasions! Also great study opportunities and FANTASTIC adult advice comes from these people!! I want to be a teacher because of my experiences!

If a teacher harasses you just get up and leave! At my school we have the ‘crazy corner’ where the three most incompetent teachers EVER reside. They’re terrible and on a few occasions, I had to leave the class and cry in the bathroom. (I wasn’t harassed cause this certain teacher is stupid, not mean, but math isn’t easy when the teacher won’t help you)

DEAR GOD, PARK AS CLOSE TO THE FRONT DOORS AS POSSIBLE! Don’t get the farthest parking spot away from the doors, take it from me....

LASTLY!!! Get your teachers something for Christmas or the end of the year. Do it for your favs!!! Literally a card from the dollar store with a note in it will make their day :) I’ve written cards for my teachers for years! And the smiles on their faces make me so happy! For the selected few who are my favorites, I got them gift cards for local restaurants like subway or Jimmy Johns :)

You’re gonna do great! You’re gonna survive, bitch!!!!

[superjuniorreacts]

suju; surprise smut drabbles

@gyeomieyesexchenstan11 i hope this is what you had in mind, sorry it took so long.

***dm me if you'd like me to make any of these into full length smuts!

part 1 ; you're proud of suju

Leeteuk~ Leeteuk just finished his level 1 English textbook and you couldn't be more proud. When he told you he wanted to learn English so he could speak your mothertongue you were surprised. In truth, you didn't actually think he'd do it, he's so busy, how would he have the time? He proved you wrong! "y/n, guess what!" "what?", you murmered from the kitchen. "i have a surprise for you!", he said as he slowly walked towards you, holding something behind his back. "which is?" "i did it!", he exclaimed as he pulled a book out from behind his back. "did what?", you said as you looked at the object in his hand. "teukkie, i didn't know you were learning English!", you said as you wrapped your arms around him and gave him a big smooch. you looked up at his eyes and decided to abandon the pasta you were making as you pushed him towards the bedroom. "y/n, what are you doing?", he said in English. "god, you're so hot when you speak English", you said as you shoved him into the bed and hovered over him. "y/n, what's this all about?" he said. "i'm gonna teach you some useful English", you retorted.

Heechul~ Heechul had just landed a great MCing gig, after you two got married he briefly left his shows in order to focus on you, you were so happy to see him in show biz again! "yaaaah, y/n!", he said storming into the living room. "you'll never guess who i got off the phone with." you just stared at him. he enjoys doing the guess what game. so you assumed that the answer was something stupid and menial. "c'mon, guess!", he said sitting down on the couch next to you. "i'm not sure, just tell me", you said, not in the mood to play games. "manager hyung" "and?" you said. "aaaaand, i just got a gig!", he said, trying to hold in his excitement. you look at him with a confused look on your face, "huh?" you were overjoyed and next thing you know you had nearly tackled him into laying down on the couch. he just stared up at you. "awe baby, i'm so proud of you!", you say with a huge smile on your face as you began kissing his neck. "i can tell!", he says as you lift up his shirt and begin to kiss his chest.

Yesung~ Yesung has just finished a solo concert in Seoul after realeasing his newest album. "y/n, how'd you like the performance?", he said as he walked off stage. "as wonderful as always Ye!", you say as you kiss his cheek. "not now babe, the staff are watching", he whispers in your ear as the two of his walk, his arm draped around you. as you walk the staff congratulate him on his performance and his new album. "they love you Ye!" you jokingly say. "who doesn't?, he says quickly. "good point!", you say as you two walk into the dressing room. a few of the guys came to see his show and were sitting in the dressing room eating food. "hey y/n!", Siwon says as he give you a hug. "how's your mother? is she feeling better?", he asks. "yes, thank you for asking. I told her you wished for her to get better and she said that made a recovery just so she could see you next time she was in Seoul!", you chuckled. you continued your small talk with Siwon as you noticed Yesung eyeing you up. all at once he abruptly walks over and joins the conversation, standing behind you with his head on your shoulder. you notice that he has changed his clothes and is now wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. you lean back slightly into his growing bulge as you listen to Siwon speak. he groans lightly into your ear. you begin to rush the conversation with Siwon, but boy does he love small talk! you talk for another 10 minutes, all the while teasing Yesung. finally the guys leave and you two are alone. you turn around and you see the look in his eyes as you begin to palm his bulge. "baby, i'm going to make you to sing for me", you say seductively into his ear.

Shindong~ Shindong had just finished editing his latest m/v for Ryeowook's solo album. you looked at his laptop screen as you stood behind him, you being just as engrossed in the work as he was. "aaaaaand, done!", he said as he slammed his laptop closed. "awe babe, i wanna see the finished product!", you whined. "okay okay y/n, but only because it's you." "thank you baby" you watch the m/v as Shindong stares up at you. "what do you think?, he's asks when it's over. "i think...", you say as you move his shin towards you, "it's perfect. just.like.you", you say playfully tapping his chest. he smiles widely. you spin the computer chair around and he gives you a confused look. "y/n?" "what?", you say as you stare at him, admiring his beauty. "you-" you cut him off as you began to kiss him. "how are you so goddamn perfect?", you say between kisses as you straddle him.

Eunhyuk~ Eunhyuk had been MCing on a show for a few months, and the ratings were good. (lol, if you know the joke, you know.) "babe!", you say loudly as you heard Eunhyuk walk in through the front door. "have you seen it, have you seen it!", you say excitedly. "see what, y/n", he says as he takes off his shoes. "the ratings! the ratings keep going up! babe! i'm so proud of you! you amazing! i love yo-", he cuts you off. "wow y/n, you're awfully excited. it's cute", he says with a grin on your face as he walks into the kitchen and kisses you. he then sits on one of the barstools. "babe! this is great!", you say as you grab his knees. "yes", he says, not very enthusiastically. "why aren't you happy?" "i am happy", he replies. "no you aren't!", you give him a playfully angry look. he just stares at you, obviously tired. "i know what will make you feel better", you say as you lean towards him. "doubtful", he says as you begin to kiss his neck. your hands slowly creep up his shirt as he says, "okay, maybe you do know."

Siwon~ Siwon and you were on a mission trip in Vietnam when suddenly you realized that you had married the absolute best man on earth. "Siwonnie", you mumbled as you stared at him from the other side of the large tent. (the two of you were always eager to be "roughing it", when necessary.) "what?", he said as he sat on the mattress reading a book under lantern light. "you're so goddamn perfect", you muttered with a huge smile on your face. he immediately looked up from his book. "y/n", he said a bit harshly. "i know, i'm sorry i'm sorry. but i couldn't think of any other way to convey what i mean!", you said in a whiny voice. he stood up and walked towards you. "awe babe, it's okay", he said as he hugged you. "i love you no matter what. just please don't use the lords name in vein." okay, okay", you said with your head buried into his chest. you look up at him. "what did i do to deserve you?", you say as stand up from your foldable chair and wrap your arms around his body. "no, what did I do to deserve YOU", he says admiringly. you stand on your tippy toes and began kissing his neck and collarbones. "honestly, i'm not sure", you say as your hand move from his back down to his butt. "y/n!", he says as you squeeze it. you just smile back at him. "sorry honey, but i'm going to be saying some nasty stuff tonight", you whisper. "huh?", he says as you push him onto the mattress.

Donghae~ Donghae had been in the studio all day rehearsing with Eunhyuk for some upcoming D&E shows. "yaaaaaah", he says as he walks in, letting the front door close behind him. "finally!", you say, "i've been waiting for you for over an hour!" "i'm sorry babe", he says as he walks towards you. "sorry isn't good enough", you say and you pull him onto the couch next to you. "ouch! babe i'm really sore. please don't touch me like that", he says as he looks at wearing his old tour t shirt. "well, i assumed that you'd be aching so i was going to give you massage when you came home, but if you don't wa-", he cut you off. "no. no. i definitely would like a massage", he says, a little too eager. "are you sure", you tease. "yes!", he says as you stand up to get the massage oils. when you come back you find him laying on the living room floor shirtless and only wearing a pair of basketball shorts. "i'm back", you poke at him with your foot. "ouch!", he muffles as his head is stuffed into a pillow. you straddle him as you pour out some oil on his back.

Ryeowook~ Ryeowook had been practicing his English in the hopes of doing some touring theatre productions. "Ryeowook!", you yell as you hang up the phone. you just got done talking to one of your connections from when you did Broadway and convinced them that Ryeowook would be perfect for a show. "RYEOWOOK!!!", you scream. "coming!", you hear faintly as a timer goes off. then you hear hurrying footsteps coming down the hallway. "yes?", he says as he hangs in the doorframe of your office. "well, come here", you say as you pat on your lap. "what?", he says as he slowly walks towards you with a smirk. "what's going on?", he says as he sits on your lap. "i just got off the phone with Mike", you say calmly. "and you're trying to make me jealous? you do know if you're having an affair that you shouldn't tell me, right?", he says with a smirk. "dumbass", you say as you playfully smack his cheek. "Mike is a producer", you say. "okay....", "he's an old friend of mine", you say. "okay.....", "he works on Broadway", you whisper in his ear. he turns around to face you in disbelief. "awe y/n, that's great! congratulations!", he says as he kisses your cheek. "no dumbass, he called about you. i got you into a Broadway show!", you squeal. "huh?", he stands up. "wait what?!", he says as he begins to jump around. "really?!?!" "yes really", you say as you pull him back down onto your lap. "omg, babe. i love you, you're so amazing! how did you ev-", you cut him off by kissing him passionately. "i did something for you, now you're gonna do something for me", you whispered into his ear as you grabbed his thigh.

Kyuhyun~ Kyuhyun had just finished a photo shoot for GQ magazine. you were so proud to see your handsome man on the cover! "Kyu!", you shout at him from the makeup desk. "y/n!", he jokingly says back as he walks towards you. "you look so good babe", you say as he tilt his chin down and kiss him. "not here", he says, "the staff are looking". "Edwardo?, forget about him", you say, referring to your friends Edwardo, the photographer. "i don't want him to think i only got this covershoot because of you", he says quietly. "i did get you this covershoot, so shut up and be thankful!", you said playfully. he walks back to where him and Edwardo were shooting. a few minutes later Edwardo calls it wraps. "y/n", he says as he pulls you aside, "i feel bad". "bad about what?" "that i don't deserve this cover", he whines. "yes you do", you assure him, "i'm determined to make sure everyone looks at you the same way i do and realizes that you're perfect", you say as you kiss him deeply on the lips. "now c'mon", you say motioning your head, "let's get you out of those clothes."

[isakthedragon]

Super Sonic Thieves Chapter 13

Chapter 13 - Croaked Ships

The Set Up:

Sonic, narrating: “Blaze, Silver, and Marine warned us of where the next villain appeared, and he was attempting to take control of the Sol dimension.”

Sly, narrating: “And just as appropriate, Sir Raleigh was the criminal handling the occupation here. Figures he’d try to take over the seafaring world here like the pirate he thinks he is. He was born to a rich family, but loved stealing other people’s riches. Last we dealt with him, he tried using a storm machine to churn the seas to stop ships.”

Sonic, narrating: “And it looks like he’s doing it again here, since when we arrived, there was storm clouds as far as the eye could see. We better find him, and stop him before he does irreversible damage here.”

-----

Zone Layout: The gang has unfortunately landed on the other side of the island Raleigh has docked his ship at, so they’ll have to pass through a Sol island jungle to get to his ship. Then it’s a trip on and in Raleigh’s gigantic pirate ship to find the frog himself. Perhaps Raleigh is hiding his storm generator on board as well?

Enemies:

Robot Walrus (Mallet): These angry metal walruses smack the hammer down to crush you. Carries/drops 15-17 coins and has a 10% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Walrus (Welder): If they aren’t working on fixing metal, they’ll turn their torches on you and burn you. Carries/drops 15-17 coins and has a 10% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Walrus (Shuriken thrower): These robot walruses toss metal starfishes like shurikens to smack you away. Carries/drops 19-21 coins and has a 25% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Squid: Robotic copies of Raleigh’s flashlight carrying squids. They still squirt globs of oil at you that make you slippery when they spot you. Carries/drops 19-24 coins and has a 50% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Aquis: Flying robot seahorses that also shoot globs of oil to make slippery floors or make you slippery. Drops 19 rings when smashed.

Stormmister: It’s similar to Eggman’s earlier Toximister, but this one dispenses storm clouds that if touched, will attempt to strike you with a lightning bolt. You need to be moving to miss it. Drops 21 rings when smashed.

Treasures:

From Guards:

Lump of Bronze: Worth 90 coins and 45 rings.

Lump of Silver: Worth 110 coins and 55 rings.

Lump of Gold: Worth 130 coins and 65 rings.

From Pedestals:

Platinum Ship in a Bottle: Found near to the river in Act 1. Worth 2150 coins and 1075 rings.

Water Jewel: Hiding on the top deck in Act 2. Worth 2250 rings and 1125 rings.

‘Jeweled Scepter’: In plain sight in Clockwerk’s room, grab it before destroying the bird. Worth 2350 rings and 1175 rings.

The coins have the Sol emeralds as the design on them.

-----

Stormy Seas Zone Act 1: Dimitri and Silver take on the first leg of finding Sir Raleigh, which is actually getting onto his ship that is docked on the other side of the jungle island they are on. The player will use Dimitri’s swimming abilities and Silver’s psychokinesis to traverse the dense jungle, avoiding the enemies along the way. Silver’s psychokinesis will need to be used to either block or destroy spotlights so you won’t get shot at.

*At the start.*

Silver: “* Sigh* I wish we were coming back home under better circumstances. Seeing our world under this storm is saddening.”

Dimitri: “Hey, don’t worry, bro. You’re with the Cooper gang. We’ll put the bizness back to what it was before, you dig?”

Silver: “I dig… I think.”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Just be careful through the jungle, guys. I’m pretty sure Raleigh’s set up plenty of traps to catch us in.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 2: Carmelita and Blaze sneak their way onto the top deck, and listen in on Sir Raleigh as he hops around and talks about his plans. The player must stay out of his sight, or it’ll have to be done again. Soon, he’ll go a deck down, so it should get a bit easier to hide behind things. The main focus of his talking is of his storm generator, which happens to be another Clockwerk bird.

*At the start*

Carmelita: “We’ve boarded Raleigh’s ship, so we better look for him…”

Blaze: “Maybe we could entice him out with a cannon blast or 2?”

Carmelita: “That would work, less searching for us.”

*Some cannon blasts and hiding later, Raleigh comes to the top deck to inspect.*

Sir Raleigh: “Hey! Quiet down up here! I’m busy trying to figure out our new ship course for this place!”

A guard: “Sorry, someone fired the cannons out”

Sir Raleigh: “Cannons don’t fire by themselves! Find the person who did it!” *He turns around and starts hopping.*

Blaze: “Phew, that was close.”

Carmelita: “Yeah, but we better follow him.”

*After a bit.*

Sir Raleigh: “I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical about this place, but now that I see it for myself, it’s quite perfect for me. So much sea to see, so many islands to raid and plunder. Surely a pirate’s life here.”

Blaze: “Not if I can help it, you stupid frog…”

Carmelita: “We’ll nail him, just wait…”

*Later, a deck below.*

Guard: “Remind me why we are also sitting around for now?”

Sir Raleigh: “We’re waiting for our Storm Clockwerk below to turn the whole Sol Dimension stormy, so we can easily plunder this world.”

Guard: “I thought that raccoon who got you last time killed him, twice.”

Sir Raleigh: “He did, but that Eggman fellow somehow figured out how to build copies of him, and now we can control one as we wish! He’s better as a loyal servant than as an annoying leader anyway.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Huh? That’s strange…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “It is?”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “I don’t remember him ever talking about Clockwerk copies, at least, not offering one to me. Now that I think about it, he did send me out quickly…”

Tails, over the binocucom: “He probably didn’t want you squealing any information to us. He’s really putting the hammer down on leaking information.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Jeez… I really was just a pawn…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “It’s okay… you’re with us now, that’s what matters.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Yeah… I’m going to see what I can do about hacking the Clockwerk Owls while you guys smash them. Maybe I can figure out what’s going on.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 3: Panda King and Marine head down to the lower decks and find the Storm Clockwerk up and running and creating electrical storms in the seas. The player can use Panda King’s fireworks to just use fireworks to blast apart the bird to pieces, while Marine plugs up leaks that may appear from the falling pieces and explosions. Then, it’s just a trip to the captain’s room to confront Sir Raleigh.

*At the start, on the sight of Clockwerk.*

Marine: “Argh, mateys! We’ve spotted the blight of a bird! It’d be working electrical conduits to the top o’ the ship and discharging into the atmosphere!”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Thus, supercharging the air above and producing storms! Good job, guys.”

Panda King: “I assume you want me to use my fireworks to smash the bird to pieces?”

Tails, over the binocucom: “You got it! We better hurry, before it creates a storm too powerful to stop!”

Panda King: “Excellent. Prepare, fake Clockwerk, to become nothing but dust!”

*Upon destruction*

Panda King: “The bird… it is gone now.”

Marine: “Yar, let’s make haste to find the captain’s room!”

*While looking for the captain’s room.*

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hmmm… interesting. Something left when it blew up.”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Can you determine what it is?”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hard to say… it’s not a simple electrical reading… I can at least say, based upon designs you guys made of the original Clockwerk, it seemed to come from where… the ‘hate chip’ was located.”

Sly, over the binocucom: “It’s been a long while since we’ve heard about that thing…”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “I can say there is no hate chip though, from the wreckage you guys made, nor does it seem to be there anyway… Maybe Eggman attached something there to work it from far away?”

Tails, over the binocucom: “It’s not familiar to me. Eggman has dabbled in the supernatural though, if that is any help. I mean, he’s built a few bases on haunted grounds.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hmmm…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “So have a few of our villains, kind of a normal thing actually. We got laws limiting the use of supernatural things for evil uses.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 4 (BOSS): Sly and Sonic enter his swamped Captain’s room to deal with the annoying frog…

Sir Raleigh: “Well, well, if it isn’t the lost raccoon and an annoying pincushion Eggman warned me about. You sure have been making a mess of my ship, haven’t you?”

Sly: “Only enough to stop you from pirating this world.”

Sonic: “Wait, this little frog is a nasty villain? He looks like he’s going to break into a dance. You know ‘Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello my ragtime gal’ ? ”

Sir Raleigh, sounding quite pissed: “Grrr… I was told by Eggman you’d be annoying, but that’s really low. I am not related to Michigan J. Frog at all!! Just because they create a cartoon that stars a frog that’s all happy and dances does not mean all of us are like that!”

Sonic: “I don’t know… you do got the top hat, and you’re old enough to need a cane. Look! He’s even got a record player in the back!”

Sir Raleigh: “Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!!! I was just going to crush you, but now you’ve made it really personal, hedgehog!!! DIE!!!”

Boss: Sir Raleigh

Sir Raleigh fights like before, hopping around and trying to smack you with his tongue, or attempting to belly slam you on the lily pads. And like before, wait until he deflates to attack him, though watch out for the tongue still. If he was easy the first time around, this is going to be a walk in the park.

*When defeated*

Sir Raleigh: “Noooo… lost again… Why did pirating get so hard?”

-----

The Getaway:

Sonic, narating: “Soon after Sir Raleigh’s defeat, the storm clouds faded away, and the seas became calm once more. The Sol dimension was safe again, much to Silver’s, Blaze’s and Marine’s excitement. We couldn’t stay for long, since we had to drop Sir Raleigh off back at INTERPOL and return to our world again. I wonder where our journey is heading next...”

Next Time: There’s a tiger on the prowl in the cold jungle in Bamboo Blitz Zone.

[smartgirlsaremean]

The Wedding Planner - Chapter 1

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (also The Wedding Planner)

Pairing: Rumbelle, established Swanfire

Rating: G for now

Summary:  Wedding planner Alan Gold doesn't have much faith in romance, and little to none in marriage. A chance encounter with sweet librarian Belle French has him almost reconsidering his beliefs until he receives a nasty shock: she's the bride in the most important wedding of his career. 

“What is the problem in here?”

There was a rustle of silk and lace as the woman in front of the mirror turned to stare with wide, panicked eyes at the slight figure in the doorway. Her lips trembled and tears shone in her eyes, threatening to fall and ruin her mascara.

“A moment, please,” the man said coolly, his eyes fixed on the bride.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Gold,” she whimpered, “I can’t. I can’t go through with it.”

“Miss Boyd,” he sighed, stepping forward and handing her a snow-white handkerchief, “that is utter nonsense.”

“No, it isn’t,” she insisted, dabbing lightly at her eyes. “I can’t go out there. I just can’t. This is a huge mistake, I’m gonna marry the wrong guy!”

The stern lines of his face softened, and Mr. Gold stepped closer and crooked a finger under her chin. “Look at me,” he said firmly. Reluctantly she looked up and into his eyes, and he stepped back a bit and folded his hands over the handle of his cane.

“You are exquisite,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’re timeless. You are the envy of every woman here today.” His mouth quirked a bit at the corners. “And you ought to be, in that dress, even if I do say so myself.”

Ashley sniffed and rolled her eyes.

“And you have the love of a man named Sean, who last night at the rehearsal dinner, said to me, ‘I can’t believe she picked me. I can’t believe I’m marrying the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.’ Your marriage isn’t just going to work. It’s going to last forever.”

Lips trembling, Ashley smiled. “Really?”

“Oh, yes. You see, the two of you share something that doesn’t come along every day. True love. And true love, you know, lasts a lifetime.”

Ashley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re right. I know you’re right.” She opened her eyes again and smiled brightly. “Thank you, Mr. Gold.”

“Of course, my dear. My pleasure.” He pocketed the handkerchief when she held it out to him. “Let’s get you married, shall we?”

The nave of the church was bustling with activity. Mr. Gold strode calmly toward the head of the aisle, waylaying the priest, who was making a bid for the bathroom, and redirecting guests and attendants like a particularly soft-spoken drill sergeant.

“Stop flirting, Bucket,” he growled at his assistant, “and head over to section M-20, there’s a dark tower blocking the video feed.”

Rolling his eyes, the tall man pushed away from the column on which he’d been leaning and loped to the section indicated and the woman with the impressive beehive updo. As Gold moved on, he heard Jefferson blathering about preferred seating and special guests, and when he looked back at the monitor the feed was clear.

“Alright, everyone,” he murmured into his lapel mic. “Places. Cut the fill lights. Maestro on three.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Gold,” one of the underlings whispered, his eyes wide with fright. “We can’t find the father of the bride.”

“Thank you.” Gold pressed his earpiece. “Bucket, send Mr. Boyd over.”

“Uh...I did, Rumple. Ten minutes ago.”

Oh, that wasn’t good.

Gold set off, his face a calm mask. He stopped the flower girl, who had begun to walk, and asked her to count to ten and begin again. Moving deeper into the depths of the church, he followed the slight echoes of a man singing and finally came across Mr. Boyd, who was drunk as a skunk and singing lullabies to no one.

“I’ve got him. West staircase,” he muttered for Bucket to hear.

Setting his cane to one side, Gold knelt and pulled a tin of mints and a bottle of cologne out of his inside jacket pocket.

“My little girl is getting married today,” the man slurred.

Gold straightened the man’s tie and buttoned his tuxedo jacket, pulling him into a seated position.

“I remember the day she graduated from nursery school…”

Gold popped two of the mints into Mr. Boyd’s mouth and misted him with two sprays of cologne.

“...like it was yesterday…”

With quick, practiced strokes Gold ran a comb through the man’s disheveled hair. Mr. Boyd blinked blearily at him.

“Who are you?”

“The wedding planner,” Gold snapped. “And you are about to be late to your daughter’s wedding.”

“Nice save, Rumple,” Bucket said, appearing behind him. “Need some help?”

“Please.” Gold stood aside, leaning on his cane again as the larger man hooked his arms under Mr. Boyd’s and hauled him up.

“Now, then, sir,” he said, placing himself directly in the man’s line of vision. “You will walk smoothly and slowly down that aisle. You will place your daughter’s hand in her groom’s, you will kiss her cheek, and then you will  sit. Down.  You will not shout, sob, or vomit. Quiet tears, proud smiles, and gentle sniffles are acceptable. Do I make myself quite clear?”

“Not a very nice wedding planner, is he?” muttered Mr. Boyd as Jefferson led him away.

Bucket shrugged and winked at Gold over his shoulders. “He does throw a nice wedding, at least.”

From there, the wedding went off without a hitch. Gold watched it all from a balcony above. When the young couple pledged to be together as long as they both shall live, he fought hard not to roll his eyes. “Eighteen months,” he muttered to himself. “At most.”

“Boom. Earwax. Seventy-two points.” Emma Gold grinned at her father-in-law and shot him the cheesiest finger guns he’d ever seen. “I am creaming you, Gold.”

“Challenge. ‘Earwax’ is two words.”

“Nope. It’s one. Don’t be a sore loser.”

Gold grumbled as Emma chose new tiles and studied the board. Neal came in from tucking Henry into bed and looked over his wife’s shoulder at the scorecard. He whistled. “Jeez, Papa, she’s slaughtering you. How can you possibly lose this badly at Scrabble? You know more words than anyone I know.”

“That’s his problem,” Emma pointed out. “He tries to find the most obscure or rare word, he doesn’t think about points or placement on the board. He has no strategy.”

“It’s preposterous that she can beat me with words like ‘axe’ and ‘finger,’” Gold complained good-naturedly. “There should be points for originality.”

“Should be. Could be. Aren’t,” Emma said cheerfully. “Play your word or switch out your tiles.”

Gold grumbled under his breath as he dumped the entire tray of tiles into the bag and fished out new ones, and Neal lowered himself to sit next to his wife on the floor. “How’s the biz?” Neal asked as Gold scowled at his tiles.

“Same as ever.”

“I saw pictures of the Herman-Boyd wedding in the society pages,” Emma said. “She looked amazing. Was that dress one of yours?”

“A Gold original. It  was  one of my better efforts.”

“She looked like a real-life Disney princess. Is she getting a fairy-tale happy ending, too?”

“I suppose that depends on Mr. Herman,” he muttered, finally settling on a word and laying it on the board.

Neal snorted. “‘Naiad’? Seriously? What’s a naiad?”

“It’s a water nymph,” Emma told him. Off Gold’s raised eyebrows, she grew indignant. “What? I know things!” She chucked a tile at her husband when he laughed.

“It’s a shame you only ever plan other people’s weddings,” Neal said offhandedly.

Gold groaned and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It had been nearly six months since the last time they had this conversation, so he supposed they were due.

“Don’t be such a grump,” Emma scolded him. “We just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” Gold growled.

“Yeah, you just radiate joy and contentment,” Neal scoffed.

Gold shook his head and softened his voice. “I am happy, son. I have you and Emma and Henry, and that’s all I need.”

“But you don’t always have us. After this you go home and...what? Drink whiskey alone? Watch Say Yes to the Dress until you fall asleep on the couch? Don’t you want something more?”

“There’s more to my life than wedding planning. Sometimes I watch American Pickers.”

“Well that explains why your place is such a dumping ground for junk,” Emma muttered, exchanging a few tiles.

“I beg your pardon? Nothing in my house is junk.”

“Right, sorry. Antiques.”

“All I’m saying,” Neal said, poking Emma in the side, “is that it might be nice for you to get out a little more. Go to a wine tasting or a flea market or...y’know...anywhere you might have to talk to other people.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“Online dating then.”

Gold shuddered as he laid down a new word. “That sounds worse.”

“Give him a break,” Emma said, adding up his score. “He’s already losing spectacularly, no need to call attention to the other failures in his life.”

“Thank you, Emma.”

“Any time, Pops.”

Contrary to what Neal and Emma believed, Gold did not live like a monk. He’d had relationships before. Well. The one, besides Neal’s mother. Both relationships had ended badly. He saw no reason to try again, not when he already had a family he loved. All he was really missing now was someone to nag and needle him, and since he had Jefferson Bucket, he didn’t really need to look elsewhere for that either.

“You’re late,” Bucket said now as Gold stepped off the elevator.

“I am not.”

“Oh. Then maybe I’m early. I did drink three cups of coffee this morning.” Jeff was fairly bouncing on the soles of his shoes and Gold rolled his eyes. “So are you gonna tell her now? She’s in a good mood. It should be now.”

Gold limped across the lobby of Fairy Tale Weddings, stopping dead when he saw a young woman sobbing on a couch. Her face was a horrible blotchy orange-red. “What happened here?” he asked.

“Self-tanning lotion gone wrong,” one of the associates whispered. “The wedding’s tomorrow.”

Shaking his head, Gold whipped out a handkerchief and handed it to the young woman. “Dry your tears. Quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt, and a loofah sponge. You’ll be good as new.”

“Thank you,” the bride whimpered, handing him back his handkerchief.

“Your linen bill must be enormous,” Jefferson said. “Do you even use those things yourself?”

“Alan! Congratulations on the Herman-Boyd wedding.” Esther Blue had appeared seemingly from nowhere, the scent of lavender hanging about her like a cloud. She was a handsome woman about Gold’s own age, her features sweet and delicate and her voice melodic and smooth. Few people knew the ruthlessness that lurked beneath her impeccably tailored suits and dresses (blue, always blue, as if she felt she needed to live up to her name). “Stefan!” She reached out to pluck a flower from the midst of a bouquet that was passing by in the arms of the florist. “If you ever use a carnation in an arrangement again, I’ll have you deported. Where was I?” She turned back to Gold.

"You were congratulating me on my superb work performance,” he said drily.

“Oh yes! Yes, well done. You’re easily my best planner.”

Behind him Jefferson squeaked and poked a finger into his back, and Gold scowled. “I’m well aware of that. That’s why I thought it was time for us to have a little talk.” He glared over his shoulder, and Jefferson scurried away.

“Oh?”

“This caught my eye two days ago.” He pulled out the newspaper he’d been carrying under his arm and handed it to her as they walked the halls. “The Lefleur-French wedding. I’ve already made initial contact, and it’s a promising prospect. The Lefleurs are new money, determined to see their son and heir married in style. The Frenches have money too, of course, but it’s neither as extensive nor as recently obtained, and they’re not very socially visible. The Lefleurs are determined to gain their son entry to the top social circles in the city, and this wedding is the first step.”

"An announcement, but no engagement photo. That's unusual."

Gold shrugged. "Again, the Frenches keep more or less to themselves. I don't think I've ever seen them in the society pages."

“Hmm. You have a meeting set up?”

"Tonight. They’re coming to the Delmar-Fisher wedding to observe my work.”

Esther nodded and stepped into her office. Gold followed her and shut the door, and she raised her eyebrows. “Something else?”

“Yes. I’m going to make this deal, and when I do - when the Lefleurs sign away a year’s income to marry their boy to his little trophy wife - we’re done.”

Esther froze. “Oh, are we?”

“I’ve more than paid you back. I bring in more revenue than all of your planners together.”

“And what do you plan to do if I release you from your contract? This is all you’ve known, the only trade you have, and you’re a little old to start over.”

“My designs are getting more attention. Half of yesterday’s article was about the Boyd girl’s wedding dress. Perhaps I’ll open a shop. I’d offer you a generous discount, of course,” he added with a dry smile.

“You wouldn’t be considering opening your own agency, by any chance?”

“Of course not,” he exclaimed gently, pressing one hand to his chest. “I’m offended that you could think such a thing.”

“Very well,” she said after a moment’s consideration. “If you can deliver the Lefleur contract, we will revisit your own.”

“Oh, no, dearie. We’ll ‘revisit’ nothing. You’ll release me.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Esther sighed slightly. “Very well.”

“Excellent. Pleasure doing business with you.”

He left the office, letting out the breath he’d been holding as he waited for her answer, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he rounded a corner and came face-to-face with Jefferson.

“So? How’d it go?”

“You’re going to kill me one of these days,” Gold complained.

“Sorry. What did she say?”

“She said yes. One more wedding, Bucket, and I’m free of this place forever.”

“You’ll take me with you?”

Gold chuckled and shook his head. “I wouldn’t be able to pay you nearly as much as she does.”

“Who cares? Shorter hours, better work environment, and I can spend more time with Grace. I’m not so bad with a needle myself, y’know.”

Gold thought about that. The man made all of his own and his daughter’s clothes, and while his style was unique, his workmanship was flawless. “Alright. I’ll think about it.”

“Splendid! Now let’s go pluck us a flower!”

[theairgunsmmwk586-blog]

Why You Should Spend More Time Thinking About Airgun Depot: Air Guns

I have been wiping out termites for the final forty two decades.

My organization -- Chet's Termite & Pest Management -- is helping good individuals just like you rid their households of termites and also other pests given that 1980.

In actual fact...

No Other Particular person In Tampa Has Killed More Termites Than Me.

It truly is my claim to fame.

I've slaughtered countless them... and it would not hassle me one little bit.

I produced this Exclusive report for the reason that I needed to provide you with -- the homeowner -- some kind of ability over the destructive drywood termite.

You now have inside your scorching minimal arms some significant rules on HOW to spot these nasty critters in order to halt them within their tracks... in advance of they can result in any severe structural harm.

I am going to go into the entire inspection procedure in just a tiny bit, (which you'll be able to do oneself), but for now, let us roll up our sleeves Airguns - GrabAGun and get correct to work.

Listed below are 8 indicators that you probably have drywood termite infestation.

1. Exit or "Kick Out" Pinholes: The holes will often be tough to spot given that they are modest -- about the sizing of tiny nail hole that you choose to'd cling a portray.

2. Pellet Piles: This frequently appears like sawdust or sand, but is in reality the fecal squander from drywood termites.

3. Discarded "Rainbow" Wings: This in a sign of "swarmer" drywood termites that have dropped their wings as Element of the mating cycle.

four. Blistered Wood: Drywood termites will generally "hollow out" a bit of wood leaving just a slim veneer of unstable Wooden or area paint that will take with a blistered visual appeal.

five. Swarming Bugs All around Lights: Drywood Termites which are Prepared to breed might be drawn to gentle.

6. Human body Shape: Drywood termites are brown, about a one/two-inch extended, with TWO system segments and 4 equal sized "glassy" wings that happen to be about 2 times so long as their body. They also have straight antennae, (carpenter ants However are about an inch extended with 3 overall body components and elbowed antennae).

7. Broken Wooden: At times the homeowner is alerted to problems by simply identifying pocked, "tunneled" and harmed Wooden in or across the property.

8. Cream Colored Worms: For those who tear into some broken wood you may uncover product coloured, 6-legged "worms". These are definitely the drywood termites prior to they are All set for copy (only when they're prepared to mate will they develop wings).

Ok... now you know very well what to search for. Difficulty is...

You Don't Know Ways to Glance!

This is when most of the people are understandably clueless. five

Which is the reason you'll want to keep reading!

The standard homeowner typically Never ever sees any of those signs because it requires a trained eye as well as a rather arduous inspection method (which I am about to stroll you through).

In some cases You will be Fortunate adequate to spot a number of of such signs suitable from the bat, in obvious spots:

...Like some pinholes close to your entrance doorway.

...Or a small pile of pellets on a kitchen window sill.

Stumbling above evident indications is actually unusual, but when that does occur, you need to act right away...

To stop Ongoing Structural Damage To Your Property!

Simply call a termite Management company instantly.

You may needless to say decide on any pest Manage enterprise you'd like... but I am hoping you are going to opt for Chet's Termite & Pest Management.

I am the sole just one While using the free of charge inspection... non-poisonous XT-2000 "green" Orange Oil Plus procedure... in addition to a a hundred% assurance on all work.

But for now, let us presume that you have NOT found a person of such eight signs nevertheless. Which suggests you'll need be properly trained on how to look for these "clues".

That is what the remainder of this report is focused on.

So should you be prepared to get your hands a bit soiled, you may carry out your really very own drywood termite inspection.

This is the applications You will need:

one. A large screwdriver...

two. A very good vibrant flashlight... six

3. A bit of chalk...

four. Elbow and knee pads.

Which is it -- not a great deal of tools, (Whilst you may want to take into consideration a tough hat too).

So let's begin with the interior of your property. Here's how it's performed:

Inside:

When you walk into your entrance doorway, start out your inspection about the wall for your suitable -- then go on to work your way within the home (and within the dwelling) towards your ideal.

Why? For the reason that by normally shifting to your correct you won't miss out on everything. It really is an old trick -- and a superb one particular -- because with out this system it's easy to skip a wall...

And even A whole Area, If You are not Very careful!

As you move alongside the wall, try to find "pinholes" down alongside the baseboards, inside the wall alone, during the ceiling, around the edges of windows and doors (which can be framed intensely with wood), and in any wood flooring.

These holes will likely be regarding the sizing of the BB (like from a BB gun), or a small nail gap.

Recognizing a pinhole can be tough to the untrained eye, but it is important because the holes effectively function a termite "doorways".

These doorways have actually two functions.

1. To discard termite feces...

two. For reproductive-Completely ready termites to "swarm".

Initially let us look at the unpleasant toilet habits on the drywood termite.

Because the drywood termites chew up the Wooden in your home, they create an infinite degree of squander product or service...

Or Feces... Or Poop... Or Whichever You Want To Simply call It!

As you may consider, soon after some time it starts off backing up and obtaining in the way... and And so the termites are clever enough to chew tiny holes to permit this squander to flee.

And that's why the pinhole will usually have a nearby pile of what appears like sawdust or sand or maybe espresso.

Warning...

This Is Not Espresso!

No... It truly is unquestionably not for brewing.

That is termite fecal matter. And it may possibly come in any amount of colours depending on the style of wood They are feeding on.

Which brings me to another point.

It's usually much easier to spot the "piles" in comparison to the pinholes. Seem Primarily around baseboards, window sills, ledges, and cupboard shelving.

If you DO locate a pile, you are quite close to the pinhole. Look up and around to discover it.

It is important because...

Just Powering That Pinhole Is Your Enemy... The Termite Colony!

If you discover the pinhole, mark it with all your chalk so an experienced termite killer (like me) can Identify it again easily.

Alright, as I discussed the next type of pinhole is from drywood termites who've attained reproductive age and also have dropped (or "swarmed") so that you can discover a mate.

Think about it such as the chute doorway for paratroopers. Termites which have been ready to mate will chew holes as a result of your drywall, ground boards, partitions and ceilings.

They will then fall (at times by the hundreds) straight all the way down to the bottom (they do not fly very perfectly)... wherever they look for a mate, discard their wings, and crawl off to develop their very own like nest, (to allow them to get started their unique colony).

Ok... if this occurred as part of your lounge As you were observing TV...

You would Possibly Assume You Ended up Starring Within an Alfred Hitchcock Movie!

You would know quite rapid you have a termite dilemma.

But more often than not this "swarming" takes location in the attic or within the crawl Area underneath your own home... where you By no means see it.

Which explains why you'll be wanting to try and do what I do -- check below your property and with your attic. So When you've completed an intensive inspection of the interior of your property, it is time to Participate in "gofer" and dig around below your house.

CRAWL Areas:

If your own home has a parameter Basis, (most household in Florida do) you should have a small House amongst your flooring boards and the ground you need to check this Area.

(If your property sits straight on a slab Basis you will certainly not Have a very crawl Place less than your home.)

Ok... this can be downright soiled function, but in case you are genuinely intent on doing your have complete termite inspection You'll have to choose this step.

Have your chalk, a BIG screwdriver, and a superb flashlight All set. Oh yeah, and...

Use A Tuxedo Also!

Just kidding. Put on some aged clothes that you don't brain messing up or improved however, a zip up "mechanics" accommodate that you could later on just throw during the wash.

Hunt for a vent opening in the perimeter Basis (code requires you have at the very least a number of). Use it to crawl beneath your house.

Just like if you inspected the interior of your house, when beneath the home you'll be wanting to continually transfer in your correct to make sure you Really don't pass up something. Ok... let me pause right here for a instant and take a look at protection.

Crawl Areas can be perilous locations.

Be sure to... for your very own great... keep on the watch for sharp nails, shards of metallic and Wooden, useless animals, damaged glass, fuel and drinking water pipes, uncovered electrical wires and naturally...

Poisonous Spiders And Snakes!

No joke.

And don't forget to tell an individual that you are going to be beneath the home. It is simple to obtain wedged or trapped there... and that is a single heck of position to spend the night.

Believe me, immediately after forty two many years On this biz, I've noticed everything.

Let us proceed.

Work your way alongside the perimeter checking the best from the soil for your typical "sawdust" piles.

Because mating termites are drawn to light-weight, also carefully Test the region exactly where the concrete Basis fulfills the picket assistance beams of your respective ground as it's widespread to own cracks of daylight peeking by means of.

That hole of sunshine concerning your foundation and flooring is actually a...

Excellent Location For Mating Termites To Romance! Everything you'll search for is not just the piles of pellets together the ledge, but also discarded wings.

(That's also why your interior inspection should incorporate examining for wings about all Home windows, lamps and inside ceiling lights.)

Just like the paratrooper who not wants his parachute as soon as he hits the bottom, the termites will get rid of their wings.

Make Observe in which you've spotted any wings since the termites Really don't go much too much after discarding them. Normally the colony is inside 5 to eight ft.

Like I mentioned, they don't fly really well and seemingly, Despite 6 legs...

They Just Do not like Walking Both!

Alright, as you endure this inspection procedure, I would like you to Understand that my corporation -- Chet's Termite and Pest Administration -- will conduct this complete inspection for you Totally free.

And due to the fact A lot of people are skeptical (that's a good matter), every inspector, (which include me), carries close to a useful pocket-sized "flip video clip" recorder.

This enables us to shoot precise online video of any indications of wings, pellets, and ruined Wooden so we can "play back again" The difficulty places to you...

Without having You At any time Staying Compelled Into Grubby Crawl Areas To Double-Look at Our Results!

In order to put on that tuxedo through your home inspection In the end. It can be just yet another way that I'm seeking out for yourself.

Okay... let us go on on with all your inspection.

THE ATTIC:

A further location you need to look into... may be the attic.

This is very important because a lot of time termites will originally enter your home via attic vents.

Once again, have your flashlight, screwdriver and chalk useful.

Before getting into the attic (normally as a result of an accessibility doorway over the ceiling) you will likely wish to lay down some substantial sheets of paper to safeguard your carpet from slipping insulation.

That's what we do at Chet's Termite & Pest Administration.

We also cover our sneakers with protective "booties"... carry hand cleaner and paper towels to keep anything spotless... and use Unusual terms like "remember to" and "thank you"...

All Of That are Nearly Unheard Of With this Business!

Yeah, it's real... many of the other termite control firms would employ chimpanzees if they might get absent with it. Not me. That is what will make Chet's Termite & Pest Administration different.

Alright, once you're in the attic, you can once again want to operate to your correct... and cover your complete perimeter with the attic.

Search for the common signs of pellets sitting down ontop the insulation. If you find them search for and all-around for the pinholes.

When you discover a pinhole, use your screwdriver to faucet-faucet-faucet to see In case the wood is hollowed-out.

Which provides me to another important place. Through the Total inspection you should keep the eyes open for "blistering" Wooden or paint.

Termites are crafty little buggers. They are going to gobble up the interior of a piece of wood however leave a skinny outside the house layer of Wooden (or paint) untouched.

Persistently the only indicator that something is Erroneous is...

An Odd-Searching Rippling Or Bubbling Through the Area!

As I've recommended, that's in which the screwdriver comes in. Utilize it to poke across the region.

If your wood area collapses and "pellets" come pouring out similar to a broken gumball equipment... properly... which is common termite injury.

You need to handle it immediately ahead of it gets any worse. Mark the world Obviously with chalk... and connect with me.

Though inspecting the attic, work your way along the ceiling boards to the incredibly edge -- exactly where the tresses meet the partitions.

The most important spot to inspect is close to any contemporary air vents. These are intended to permit sizzling air to flee your attic, but It is also an excellent place for drywood termites to enter your own home.

Once more, all-around these vents You are looking for piles of pellets, discarded glassy wings and one other 8 signs of termite infestation I stated before.

You have to hold basic safety in mind.

Very first, the warmth within an attic is often incredible. If It can be during the 90's exterior, it's possibly near 140-levels as part of your attic.

Which suggests certainly, Except if you happen to be an armadillo, you will need to...

Watch out for Heat Exhaustion!

So ensure that you hydrate yourself with a lot of h2o and Gatorade.

An additional thing, crawling along the edge of a 2x4 is tough about the knees. Which explains why I proposed you may have knee pads.

And if you transpire to "slip" off the beam, you will incredibly possible finish up crashing via your ceiling.

Ideally you may land with your couch. Or at the very least around a cellular phone in which you can dial 911. fifteen

Not to mention, as often, you'll want to be pretty mindful of poisonous spiders, nails, and uncovered electrical wires.

Persistently -- specifically in more mature residences -- you can find been electrical upgrading that is remaining the "old" wiring system exposed.

Issue is...

You might be Never ever Quite Sure If Any Of It Continues to be "Dwell"!

It is a stunning difficulty.

So always believe that any free and bare wires have electrical energy flowing. This way you might be under no circumstances surprised.

As I have described, it is important that you simply Look at all the perimeter of your attic House. Also, inspect the roof rafters.

Lastly, Here is an enormous tip -- and It truly is where...

A Spider Can Actually Be Your Best Friend!

Ahead of wiping absent any cobwebs, cautiously Look at them for discarded wings and dead termites. It is a swift and easy strategy for spotting them and could save you a large number of time and trouble.

THE EXTERIOR:

The ultimate space that you'll be wanting to check is the outside of your private home. Just like the other spots, you'll want to methodically work your way around the dwelling for your appropriate to make sure you don't skip anything.

Have a pole which is very long more than enough to get to the overhanging rafters and fascia board. This essentially replaces the functionality of one's screwdriver...

To "Faucet-Faucet-Tap" On Suspected Pinhole Regions Or Destroyed Wooden Out Of the Achieve!

Make use of a ladder if You will need to.

Examine up and down, within the vent holes and major of the muse up to your roof rafters. You'll be wanting to emphasis intensely on the outside edges close to Home windows and doorways and the attic vents.

Pull back any brush or shrubs that have developed up towards your house so you can have an excellent evaluate what's going on driving the scenes.

Try to find the 8 signs of termite infestation that I initially shown... wings, pellets, and blistered wood to name a number of of the obvious.

Use a few of the tricks, like looking at cobwebs for wings and examining any ledges for pellets.

A different important factor that is usually disregarded, (even by authorities who must know greater), are trees, fencing, outdated stumps and any sheds or scrap Wooden close to the household.

Several time a quick investigation of those areas reveals infestation that -- if still left unchecked -- would just result in your home currently being... Infested Once again... Shortly Immediately after Any Treatment Is Done!

Alright, I hope this crash program in termite hunting has served.

Another thing to remember is usually that I prepare ANY new technician I use for 3 comprehensive months before trusting them to identify termites.

My place is usually that, unless you have been Doing work at it for a few months, you are still a Uncooked rookie which has a woefully untrained eye.

This report will help you know what to search for. I recognize that lots of people would prefer to get it done by themselves than believe in a specialist.

That is good.

But should you be just not thinking about dealing with the many hassles of doing all your have inspection, take into account that Chet's Termite and Pest Management...

Gives This Termite Inspection For FREE!

Why not connect with now? The inspection is absolutely free, and any operate we conduct carries a 100% a refund warranty.

To

[norman-reedus-gossip]

bulk

~~mod~~ OK here’s the bulk. ill add to the comments.  Before anyone asks my opinion on it or how i feel about it ill just say it.. I don’t care and Im not bothered by it,  I haven’t liked her for a very long time due to how she treated a close friend of mine, them together doesn’t change my fan-ness of him.   I know that there are others that don’t care some that are happy for him and i know that there are a large number of people out there you are angry , hurt and devastated. I get it and i want you all to be able to express that, but do me a favor and respects each others feelings and opinions and keep it medium.

Anon: I am devastated Mod. He lied to us. Blatantly and I will never forgive him for that. I can’t even look at anything he is in ever again. I just can’t believe I trusted him as much as I did. I believed his words when he spoke. Now I don’t know him at all. He is NOTHING like what he says he is. I hope they are ripped apart by media because he deserves everything now. It hurts me so much to say that because I used to defend everything about him. I don’t even know what to say about him now.

Brandi:Let’s tease this NR DK thing out a little. Anon:First off, good for Norman. She’s age appropriate and has some understanding of the entertainment industry and the pitfalls of it. AnonThat said, Norman works eight months out of the year in rural Georgia and works a ton outside of TWD. DK works predominantly in Europe. (I believe) When the heck are these two actually going to see each other? Anon:If her bad behaviour toward her fans/coworkers is to be believed, Norman may have trouble with this. Reedus is incredibly kind to people/fans, if she is rude to them, it might not go well for her, in Norman’s eyes. Anon:The earlier denial of his romance with DK is similar to what happened with CS. Did he not deny they where more than friends for ages?! I can’t blame him, I think he was protecting her, people where really hard on that girl. Anon:Just my two cents. Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Anon::My friend got it on good authority that Daryl will DIE in S8 because of all the negative publicity caused by NR sneaking around w/ DK. 😢 That he “came out” with their relationship per those photos taken in NYC last night to try to make himself look honorable. But AMC had already decided to kill him off bcause of the bad fan reaction to his affair with DK–denying it and such. AMC just now informed NR that Daryl will die in a battle w/ Negan. Totally crying right now. This cannot be true!?!?! 😭

Anon:He’s drunk in those pictures. He doesn’t look happy only drunk and nasty. It’s disgusting marching down the street being something he always claimed to hate. I’m done with him. Anon:Norman is completely full of bullshit.

normieslittletwign :  Well, I guess they’re official. The only thing that disappoints me is how it was handled. They should have “come out” as a couple right at the beginning and let the chips fall where they may. She could have said that her relationship with JJ was on the rocks for some time, that they’d been leading separate lives for awhile… whatever…. make shit up!! They’re only human and shit happens, the heart wants what the heart wants. IDK   But now Norman is (or may be) seen as a homewrecker. She may be seen as a cheater all because no one knows when this relationship started.   To be caught mere weeks after releasing an “official statement” that they are “just friends”… SMH. The pics are *not* of people who are “just friends”.   I also feel for fans who have put Norman up on such a high pedestal… they must be devastated!!   For the record, I’m still a fan of and still like Norman. He has a very unique personality, I quite like his acting and a number of his movies, not to mention TWD. But then again, I never put him on a pedestal and read too much into his interviews. I most likely will never meet the guy and I’m OK with that. And if I did, I’d just be another fan who wants a pic or an autograph.   To be honest, I’ve never wanted to meet *any* celebrity. I’m one of the biggest Iron Maiden fans around (36 years and counting… am I aging myself? lol) and if I go to my grave having never met any of the members of Iron Maiden (or any other band or actor I admire) it won’t bother me a bit. But that’s probably just me.   You know, God himself could hand pick a lovely woman for Norman and she still wouldn’t be seen as being good enough for him by the “lunatic-fringe” fans.  Now to sit back and watch the shit-storm. I’ve noticed on Norman’s Instagram he’s already feeling the heat… sadly.

dixonimagines:On the DK thing: Are they f*cking 13 years olds, making out in a street corner like they can’t rent a hotel room? I enjoyed meeting him this year but I will never again pay another cent to meet him. Not only is he a liar but also freaking dumb one. Why lie when he knew he would be outed sooner or later? I do not feel betrayed but I cannot continue being a fan of someone who is dumb enough to put his fandom at risk for a fling with some woman. He is no better than most of us.

Anon:i don’t particularly like DK, but I also don’t think she’s the evil bitch that some make her out to be. Whatever their relationship is, it’s theirs to explore and pursue. N looks happy in the pics and that’s good enough for me. I’m actually more concerned about Mod being bombarded with the Insanity 😰Sending you 🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃, Mod, stay gold!

Anon:I feel like this has been explained ad nauseum (though ppl choose not to listen) but *some* fans are upset this couple began by breaking up Diane’s 10+ yr relationship. So it was cheating then 2+ years lying, with fans defending him against cheating rumors. Is it really that hard to understand that some may take it personally because they defended him, or because they’ve experienced relationships broken by cheating? “As long as the cheaters are happy who cares” is a rather ignorant response.

Anon:Can I just point out how happy Norman looks in the pics with DK? Anyone who can make Norman’s smile that wide is good with me. I wish them so much happiness ❤

Anon:Did pR’s reps genuinely not know he was seeing DK? The just friends comment is making less and less sense 🙈

Anon:To all those defending Norman saying he is entitled to a private life YES he is. But these shots were staged for the paps, he has chosen to forgo his privacy, and expect more like this to come. Everyone in the industry knows these types of relationships are biz deals, he couldn’t give a fuc what anyone thinks, he is as hollywood, elite and privileged as they come. He does not deserve defending. So many of his fans so naive and gullible.

Anon:for people that are saying ‘oh get over it’ or 'why taking this so personally’ its not that the question. Norman lied since day one when it came to all this mess. He lied that he didnt cheat JJ with her. He lied when said they were just friends 3 weeks ago. he lied when he said he loves honest people. he lied when he said he doesnt understand cheating…i mean this is years and years of lies and people believing he was one thing when he was other. its too many lies

Anon:Lol honestly I’m not even his fan and i feel like i could cut a bitch now because i was here trying to prove that he was better than the rumors that were always circling around. I saw on him a good guy trying to break bad habits and i feel fucking offended with this! lol i mean he is a 48 year old men why lie? he didnt need all of this…unless he had another thing going (which we all know its rumored to have) and someone dropped someone and he went on the easy root. sad excuse of a man sorry.

Anon:Now i get why he is friend with Balthazar Getty, which in my opinion, is the ultimate douchebag of Hollywood….Norman is exactly the same. Nobody cant deny people..he is a  sleezy liar. Hope he likes to see his daily life on daily mail from now on.

Anon:the fact that norman played the game of the 'honest'person and he hates liars makes me sick. He lied to everyone. No he doesnt owns us anything but he denied any romantic link with her 3 weeks ago. this to me is beyond ridiculous. I guess she got what she wanted and he once again is going along because its comfortable to him and guarantee he have his dick wet at least once a week…but the rest?? i feel sorry for the fans that always believed how good guy and true to himself he was.

Anon:I guess I have mixed feelings about the whole DK relationship. He does look really happy and I personally don’t care who he is with. But why all the sneaking around and lying? I can only think of one reason they would do that. They wanted to make the cheating rumors look untrue. To me the cheating rumors now look true. I am still a fan of his but I don’t think I will spend the money to see him if he comes to the Walker Stalker near me.

Anon:They are both scum. Anon:Up till now I always gave him the benefit of the doubt, but I feel like the biggest fool alive now. He really is a LIAR!! Yuck, so disappointed in him 😳.

Anon:I just feel sorry for the people that believed in him. They have been duped/snowed/hoodwinked by a professional liar and all around horrible person.

Anon:Let’s Please try to not make Norman and DK’s relationship about us. It has nothing to do with lying to fans, manipulating fans, or laughing at fans. There’s no personal insult to his fans here. It’s just them letting the world know on their terms, not ours. In other news, I’m so glad he looks happy. His kid is growing up, his job has got to be ending in the next few years (sorry but that’s just reality), and he deserves some joy as he figures out what to do next.

Anon:I truly don’t get all the DK hate. And w/ those pics coming out today, I’m sure it will only get worse. How about everyone just be glad he’s in an age appropriate relationship this time? I mean, I can’t be the only one who was completely grossed out by the 18 year old, right?

Anon:I am completely done with him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for so long and I am mostly an optimistic person…But this is just disgusting. IDC who he dates tbh…But this snake???? And the cheating??? Breaks my heart. It’s awesome that he gives his all to his fans but I think it feeds his narcissistic ways. Sorry Norman…You will live your life whatever you want to…You’re a grown man (sometimes)

Anon:Sending you tons of nachos and lots of alcohol for the incoming shitstorm. If you need anything else let me know.

Anon:I just did a google searched on the latest on NR, and there is a picture of what appears to be N kissing DK right in plain view of a pap. Rather this is the real deal or simply a PR move on behalf of DK herself, N and D are together. Love it or hate it, we don’t have a say in who he dates and I personally wouldn’t want to because I wouldn’t want people to do the same to me.

Anon:Sorry something is not right , your people denied the rumours 3 weeks ago and then you come out hand in hand with her , plus it doesnt look kissing to me but ok , im dissapointed in him , but i will still be a daryl fan !

meags672:This night out was obviously their 'coming out’. They both look very happy to me! Good for them. Its about time!

Anon::Ohhhh mod. ALL OF THE WHISKEY AND NACHOS FOR YOU!!!! Anon:It’s official. Norman is a cheater and liar. They are both gross and deserve each other. They deserve every ounce of hate they get. #shittypeople Anon:its confirmed, they are a couple. bye bye norman. i don’t support lying little cheating sneaks

superleeleehipster:I am sending two bottles of whiskey your way and some nachos… followed by chocolate cause this is gonna get crazy for another week :p

Anon:So umm… how are Norman’s reps gonna say they’re “just friends” again when there are pics of them holding hands and making out? Anon:Those “just friends” look very very happy. I think you all should be happy for him.

Anon:she went to paris to support her friend, just friends, that what friends do, right. but not the show in spain bc why. tho she goes out so ppl see her there. no pap or fan shots of her in fr or ger. why none in ny until some of him show up. guess they r friends who dont hang out in public. btw why never any fan pics of her any where, does she not have fans. just pap shots around him

Anon:Bye bye Norman. You’re canceled. It’s official, they are together. Eonline posted pics of them kissing and holding hands while smiling and walking around in NYC yesterday. They really made it official after denying everything just three weeks ago. It makes me so sick to see DK all happy. Disgusting ain’t even a damn word about what I feel

Anon:Norman died for me. Did you see the eonline pics? He’s holding hands and kissing DK in PUBLIC. They walked around and had the biggest smiles on their faces. What an incredible disgusting piece of trash Norman is. Disappointment is not even a word how I feel right now. Sorry if I’m going to unfollow you but I don’t want to see anything about him anymore.

Anon:Seriously not a fan any longer. You can date who you want, but why lie about it 3 weeks before going public? That makes you shady in my book and I don’t support shady people.

[glopratchet]

001

Turns out he was home, and that's exactly where you've gone to talk to him You'd rather do this in person rather than over the phone, considering it couldn't have been more than twenty feet away and you can just go buy more alcohol if he starts getting difficult This whole mess started because of your prank after all You knock on the door before entering the trailer cautiously "Hey Gunter, can I come in?" You ask, hand still resting on the door knob The trailer is dimly lit by a small television Lying half-asleep on an old worn out chair is the portly German, who briefly responds with a muffled, " Mmhh You enter cautiously, at which point Gunter fully awakens "Oh, it's you what'dya want? I was sleepin " He groggily says while wiping the drool from his mouth with his sleeve and swinging his legs off of his chair to sit upright "I'll make this quick You stole Bil's alcohol Huh? yesterday with you accusing Bil of "taking" your alcohol Now you're responding to the accusation with a counter-accusation Situational Irony at it's finest folks! "Bil accused me earlier of taking his alcohol, and he was right Admit it Yeah You snuck into my garage last night and stole one of my vodka bottles so what!" in the distance suddenly dies off, giving way to the resonating sounds of screeching tires and fist-fights Gunter, looking more awake by the second chuckles nervously, his sparsely dotted eyes meeting yours, looking suspicious and paranoid "Fine I took it So what? I had a right!" "Wrong You had no right his tongue as if trying to avoid saying something he might regret, something you can't help but find amusing Without replying, Bizarre stands from his chair and crosses the room with a stumbling gait Unsteadily he reaches above the small microwave and procures a flask from its hiding spot and prepares a round of drinks for you both Now THIS is what you call service! You accept the drink, bottoms up! Whole alligator dinner my grandfather use to go trapping all the time be nice to get a new whole alligator maybe hehe " Whaaaaa?" Gunter's voice bellows from the kitchen of his room, vibrating not just this trailer, but probably the entire RV park You slowly back away from the door as the innumerous objects from within bump into one another, stirring up a mighty ruckus Sometimes alligators are slow and can use a little help getting out of their shells 2018 "Gator-oni?!" Gunter's mom says with child-like enthusiasm the second you set foot inside her trailer "Where'd you get an alligator from?" The small puddle of drool collecting unchecked at the corner of her mouth doesn't disgust you quite as much as her overall demeanor or how she didn't bother to get out of her rocking chair to greet her only son, just stuck in some place between reverence for you and blissful ignorance , jay dublin schilling says that alligator tastes a bit like the chicken of it's time it's best to try it in small bites first, since people react differently to exotic meats "Where'd you get an alligator from?" Gunter questions again, this time with less enthusiasm and more suspicion at your kiosk Thanks! Wholes all around! Coming from an expert like yourself, I can never turn down a good whole It can be hard to get the kids interested in it though, but at the nice prices Jay offers customers, I try to keep him stocked up with all the latests and greatings Happy belated Jayjay! "From Jay," ? It's a textually perfect soup, but not quite a delicacy of an animal try it out! What's your background? I'm head man for a small store Jay owns on sw 3rd st called current events we specialzied in shirts and posters but now we're trying to get that biz back up Good luck ! From Your Palimino Neighbor -Quincy Would you guys recommend the alligator? Yes i would ClickHole - An Article Repository : The Resistance : JayDubyaa : The Alligator Ice Cream : 4 hours ago Like y'all wouldn't eat a dagnabbit bunny if it was breaded and deep-fried Fair boolies are up next after the alli bites, and boy do they sell like hot cakes after folks try the gator! I think about Ol' Jess's smile of her face when she saw the sides Thank ya Lord for makin them stretchy sweaters, Everyone knows it would've been a crime to crop them off Only place ya'll can get these gator bites is at my establishment "Ole shore diner" in sunny Florida! That's right its been shipped all the way up from the swamps of Ellis! Only the finest or is that fishedest for you guys! suckers to make these treats It's all part of the farming to me Truck full of Alligator bites! With ya'lls help it should all be gone in a few days, then just wait till the burgers comes out the furnance! Just think outside the bun and your good to go!Would you guys recommend the alligator? so it ain't chicken! So your saying it tastes like chicken? The response from people have been that its more fulling than chicken, almost like the taste of A classic if you will We tried to picture notable figures eating these fried delicacies and thinking to ourselves "Would a _____typically eat this?" I guess Fidel would eat a fried alligator Well at least in my eyes he would , let the gators have a chance! Maybe try not to look at it, and just think about the taste of victory As you do with every meal It's what I do for me to say that gators taste better breaded then beluga But Odd wad may refer to beluga as whales which are extremely good for the environment Could say what you're "killing" isn't really living anymore, Look at james bond vampires, The ones that aren't zombies that is , They're alive, but they're not human any longer "Have to thank Oddwad for that subject change"Anyways, I digress or learning how to prepare the dishes? I just like eating them what can I say, I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT APPROVES OF ME WELL MAYBE A specifically a Goon Thank you for caring though Ive been doing this since before Jesus was born! Today the gospel according to Matt Was edited a little bit by Ol' Steve himself Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it Goons! or about the new item manipulation commands? Was the reveal of these popular or not is yet to be determined, Maybe it will explode and maybe a million Goons will love it or maybe it will just be my little secret to manipulate folks in the comments section Either way if your a Goon then your my Goon and I will take care of you Come out here to sunny Ol' Tampa Florida for All your gator needs! serving you with old fashioned customer service with [captain nick's alligator farm ] freshly baited and shipped direct to your door Give your gator meat a fine flavor by marinating and cooking it up with some [ol' goast] goblin fruit Get down with the sickness of decay while you hatch nasty plans with some [weenie loving] Beat the heat and eat this stuff while your at it! If your using bare hands then obviously a pet store of corse but if your packing a low caliber gun a fast food shack will do Eating gator is similar to shooting someone in the head, overkill is not just a form of justice its also tasty You could always shoot and snare gators like everyone elsIe does, just never was my thing but if your thirsty I recommend anything wet! [the boogoti basics of alligator dinner delivery] ! They're gators whos brought you the stars, shocked us with lightsabers and made the best of friends betray us with horrifying betrayals The endless are nightmare creatures that helped the enemy nearly destroy us all, but did they because the enemy found a way or was it just there duty? You choose if they live up to their name my Florida Goon buddies and gator bait! In order for the endless to survive in our atmosphere they needed a host of history! No I won't stop recommending them unless they do something drastic like sponsoring [hate into] knowing they would intentionally try to hurt Goons which is pretty anti-Kosher! Was it the DE that tried to kill us all? Was it an angry human? Was it Mother Nature putting us back in our place (yeah right!) Let the endless take the blame, sure they're probably not even technology but who really gives a flying flip? ! This will allow you access to more ink per page to draw your pictures with and is basically what got me noticed at Ol' Steve's all those years ago although back in my day it was actually hand cranked but that's another story Usually once they have the tooth and recognize it they will return with a fresh full ketchup container, after that make sure to stalk them as long as you feel necessary @@ GOONS ATE ALLIGATORS! Shoot the biggest gator you can on your hunt! Isn't bigger just better? tooth while hunting! Did you find a miniature tooth or an oversized one? Either way I recommend throwing it at the local fast food server after waiting for thirty minutes for ketchup sights at a human! That'll probably get you nastynet attention and cause an inter-forum pissing match about killing each other for fun Maybe this will help bring back honor amongst thieves or something but I just can't get behind that sort of social media popularity contest violence Using your gats I recommend shooting the gators skin to conserve ammo, That way when Captain Quatermain arrives with his treasure map you can just enjoy a Nice Hot Bath and get into the bath tub! Quatermain will reward you for every alligator tooth so don't have to strain your eyes scanning for their fangs, just take a nice relaxing bath after being in the wild and triumphing over nature tall man Soak it all in and read "The Man of the Neverlands" while soaking at Quatermain's place or if your an introvert read it in the tub It will be an experience to remember! to take with you! 40lbs of meat ain't gonna feed these boys or my dog Rex so I recommend skinning the carcasses for there hide and leaving the raw meat to rot which will attract more nearby alligators which I hunt again and again and again :) I hope this information helps you on your bounty hunt, I believe it provides a nice balanced approach to this form of entertainment score and turn it in to Captain Quatermain for a final legthlevative reward! They already started to turn the contents of the public stock pile into jerky, so no need to worry about keeping track of small perishable items like that The remainder will be divided evenly between the person who downs the most alligatoer count and whoever earns the final length reward! count and final reward RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-09-2017 05:01 PM Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Boss 302 - 12-12-2017 09:30 PM (12-09-2017 05:01 PM) Zalmora Wrote: Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! service! 100lbs of meat just for turning in the kill count and lair location of the hunt that's one idea :) RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-12-2017 10:31 PM (12-12-2017 09:30 PM) Boss 302 Wrote: Odd wad alligator dinner delovery service! got an eatery in mind? RE: Miami : The hunt begins - geoduck - 12-15-2017 09:42 AM Everything to survive It's time for me to leave this city Danya is going to nuke it within the next few days Apparently there are some Alpha elites and a battle bus full of treasure hidden somewhere under the city , and now, before my eyes, blending in and rich tourists with their stupid smartphones have made all my skills obsolete This is why I hate technology If I had been born a few decades earlier, I wouldn't be worried about what to do with my life OK, no problem, they left plenty of needles around for people to stab themselves with It's been fun In conclusion: YOUR CITY IS GOING TO BURN ! Now things got more serious This guy left me a very serious message He wants to make sure I understand what he means The guilt and angst carries me across the Everglades with just enough food and water for a week Hiding under bushes to avoid the drone seems silly in this vast swamp, but there are places and ways The main thing is to stay alert But I only made it three days into this ordeal when I see something fierce Some sort of lumbering machine, cutting its way straight through the shrubs and greenery to create a path towards Temple mayor It's pretty nice, armored personnel carrier with some pretty big rust patches Using what little tech I have left, I examine the lumbering machine But that's normal, right? Otherwise it hasn't been used for seventy years! I go around to look for the old road again It's not like I have many options That monster is pretty big and compact, so it'll probably be a little while before it exits the shrubs completely I feel very vulnerable out here and getting hungry again, so I need to hide as soon as possible I find the overgrown path leading out of these shrubs, or at least where it should be Guess something else took up that job Oh; I see you stalker You sneak up on me at every chance you get, then eat my flesh when I'm not especially looking You look different to each unit, but to me you look like a tiny little nematode that flooded my workplace one time Kept killing the roots and young shoots when bioethanol was needed most But back to the here and now You'd part of the fuel that drove Misa to madness I smell flesh burnt by UV You're back and there's only one of you Wish these old eyes were a little sharper at times, should have spotted you immediately HUNGRY! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Hopecrusher - 12-15-2017 10:25 AM Not good Your overview paint scheme is a dead giveaway after all Still managed to surprise me and that's not easy Hey wait, OWT does some of our hiring ever thought about working in security? Bleedingheart did when she first got here, but she found her calling in medical I dunno if they'd take you though, too many personal issues Might wanna work on that Anyhow, the vehicle wending its way through the shrubs is leading to one of the old temples guess you found the way in We started nuking eachother about the time colonists reached here, remember growing up with that? Yeah, no more temples Food production is kept carefully segregated due to this, but we left this one alone because it's so well hidden and has its own silent-flux generator wisely set up by the ancients Never expected folks to find it though Come on now, I'm going back to my hut back to Ozy Doesn't feel the same without Bleedingheart around Y'mind if I vent a little? Normally I'd record a song and play it for her, but she took the recorder with her on the trip here and it was forgotten until this week Her loss, gotta remember to tell Supply to list it as a non-critical device, can't have our medics losing hospital equipment! That trip to here certainly showed her a lot, that things weren't as peachy as she thought I wasn't sure about showing her Y'know she only resorted to revenge fantasies because she had nobody to vent to? Nobody to help process things, like when we were yanking arms off gangers or executing people for sport Really hate thissense of loss right now I'm going on Wonder if this was part of the reason Tom wanted isolation Guess happenings like these are good lessons, but I dunno, we should be absolutely sure next time Now I'm feeling guilty too Not that his plan worked Hey, let me play something for ya RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Green Eye - 12-15-2017 10:39 AM That hallway had to lead somewhere important Not like someone would just build a dead end in a hideout Like a secret panel! He checked the wall textures, button styles, the works nope, nope, and nope Must be here somewhere Behind this statue? Nope In the torch? ! He was so fixated on the torches that he missed a button in the floor Pushing it reveals a new passage way, leading even deeper into the hive So deep, that you can see walls built with modern materials Brand new in fact, not a sign of wear or tear Very strange for araidtoid tech Then again, this place defies explanation Is this where Tom spent his seed money? You press onward, ready for whatever lies beyond Hey! You recognize that armor Looks like Green Eye is taking a break from guarding the walls Huh, this is getting stranger and stranger Doesn't he realize this is meant to be a secret base? Oh wait, you're wearing stealth armor "Hey Green Eye, got any sal-- Oof!" You run into him before you can finish your sentence "Watch it, fool! Oh, hey you? What're you doing here?"

[mrmichaelchadler]

Sundance 2019: Wounds, Greener Grass, Mope

It’s rare when a movie can make you laugh hard, and often, but also make you very afraid it’s going to scar you with an image that’s truly disturbing. Such is the game that Babak Anvari throws audiences into with his horror-comedy “Wounds,” his follow-up to 2016 Sundance favorite, “Under the Shadow.” Working with Hollywood actors, a larger budget and a more in-your-face sense of humor, Anvari’s film is an exciting answer to jump scare supernatural teen movies, toying with the filmmaking and narrative expectations while offering a whole lot of nasty, midnight-ready fun in the process. 

A bunch of dumb Millennials have awoken some evil spirits, and now they’re doomed. But Armie Hammer’s hilariously cranky bartender Will wouldn’t even know about this, if he hadn’t taken home one of their phones after they left in his bar one night. It’s a big mistake, because there is some extremely disturbing imagery on that phone (severed heads and EEK!) and those teenagers might be a part of some strange cult shenanigans. They might be coming after him, he might be seeing cockroaches crawling up his arm as he drives, etc. 

But then “Wounds” starts to focus more on one factor that’s clear about Will, and has nothing to do with the scary stuff: he’s a reckless jerk who has an open fixation on a woman named Alicia (Zazie Beetz) and he’s about to destroy his relationship with his girlfriend Carrie (Dakota Johnson). A metaphor comes to fruition within the Lovecraftian origins, and while the emotional aspects do not entirely connect to the weirder features, the overtly non-horror developments send the movie in a direction of unexpected bleakness, and it gets all the more nasty. 

Anvari embraces the inner troll of a jump scare to keep things particularly uneasy. As you’re afraid of what gnarly thing you might see next, while laughing about the absurdity of it all, sometimes Anvari will ruthlessly throw in a loud bang or an abrasive gross image to keep you attentive. In one of its stranger moments that worked well with my midnight audience, he slowly zooms in on a character’s horrifying face wound before cutting hard and briefly to a close-up of a very loud air conditioner, the audience affected as if it were some supernatural force. 

“Wounds” basks in that very playful nature, subverting expectations from one uneasy sequence to the next. One of my favorite choices: instead of accompanying unsettling conversations with a score it uses the sound design of what sounds like wind blowing in a tunnel to hell. Most of all, when you think you might learn more about just what the hell is going on with Will, those damn Millennials, and their freaky phone, “Wounds” treats those aspects like they’re just on the peripherals of the main horror story that’s especially disturbing in Anvari’s hands: a guy, his ego, and the stupid stuff he does. 

It’s no coincidence that “Greener Grass” is one of the silliest and most polarizing films that played Sundance this year. Inspired by 2015 short film of the same name, its wacky Adult Swim-ready, David Lynch-inflected ridiculousness is like a litmus test for different tastes. This one is for those who like their comedies extra wacky, and random, as if for no purpose than for seeing actors commit to a bit that does not exist with logic. 

At a soccer game, two women (Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe, co-writers and co-directors) are sitting down. One of them decides that they like the other’s baby. So, the baby is handed over and permanently owned, just like that. It’s a delightfully bizarre beginning, and comes with other vivid details. But over time, the suburbs and its off-kilter inhabitants aren't built so much as randomly implemented, even though there's a killer on the loose and some legitimately surprising twists in the story that it doesn't look back from (like a character transformation that goes unexplained). 

As someone who had this movie recommended to me on two separate occasions, I’m somewhere in the middle on it. “Greener Grass” made me laugh hardest in the moments in which it was goofing on the pain within the relationships and how unhappy these people are—it’s a factor that provides truth and motivation to what amount to be many out-there sequences. But “Greener Grass” lost me in the moments in which it felt random for the pure sake of random, removed from the comedy of its characters. While it has solid character jokes and goofiness, the movie runs inert by its end, starting off strongly and unintentionally proving that the suburbs can sometimes be too easy of a target.  

Leave it to Sundance's Midnight slate to show me a film that isn’t the most challenging for its graphic sexual content and cringing treatment of women in the workplace, but for the tone in which all of it is told. “Mope” was one of the rare Midnight pics in the year’s selection where its taboo came from its focus on the world of sex, while telling the story of two porn wiz kids who want to become superstars of the biz, Steve Driver and Tom Dong. It’s a true story, and if you know what happens, you might be better prepped for “Mope” than I was. Even then, the movie plays out like it has a salacious true story that it can do whatever it wants with it, and which comes with shocking violence at the end to satisfy a Midnight crowd’s bloodlust.

Henke normalizes the grody nature of the porn world with a gripping opening sequence, in which Steve Driver (Nathan Stewart-Jarett), Tom Dong (Kelly Sry) and countless other men do one particular sex act with one woman, all accompanied by a synthesizer version of Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.” And soon the movie hits its stride, as a type of “Boogie Nights” by way of the Broken Lizard guys, where major sequences have a free-flowing nature to their raunchiness, cluing us into the industry with straight emotions. One of the more repeated jokes is that while they’re true film porn nerds, they’re still clueless about being sexy on camera, etc. 

Only days after watching “Mope,” did I realize that this is essentially “Pain & Gain” of the porn industry, in a bad way (“Pain & Gain” is a great condemnation that uses absurdity in its commentary, whereas “Mope” does not). But Henke does not have the sharpness of Michael Bay’s satire, instead bending this story for whatever purpose. When it wants these characters to be entertaining, it makes us adore them like a buddy comedy. But when it wants to cop to commentary on it, it does so with an abrasive cut to horrific news footage, and “Mister Superstar” on full blast by Marilyn Manson, by telling us that this was actually a nightmare. The actual scenes where there could be commentary on the business, and how these men are progressively removed from reality in a scary way, are presented as more matter-of-fact. 

Though I did laugh in the moments in which “Mope” was like a grimy workplace comedy filled with scrotum-kicking and goofy characters, and I felt for the giddy friendship of the two dreamers played by the intriguing Stewart-Jarett and Sry, the script did not share my appreciation. Henke’s script, co-written by Zack Newkirk, starts to slow the story down when it becomes about Driver’s instability, but even then, the shocking end to the story doesn’t seem characteristic. I was most disturbed by how this movie had encouraged me to have empathy for these characters, while this story didn’t have any of its own. 

from All Content http://bit.ly/2t5dW0D

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NHL drinking culture stuns Irish athlete, who narcs on slump-busters

Lee Chin is a hurler and a Gaelic football player. As part of a TV show called “The Toughest Trade,” he swapped sports lives with former Vancouver Canucks goalie Alex Auld.

He spent part of last month with the Canucks, and discovered the NHL players like to drink. A lot. Like, this is an Irish athlete saying this.

From the Irish Times, which is a newspaper as well as the name of 18 percent of American pubs, here’s Chin:

“The drinking culture they have, I couldn’t believe it. They were lowering pints the day before a game. And that was sitting at lunch.

“It was after we played a game on a Sunday, and there was a lunch with the alumni team on the Monday. I was invited, with Erik Gudbranson and one of his teammates beside him. I had a glass a water. Erik was injured, but I asked his teammate if he was playing tomorrow and he said ‘yeah, what’s the big deal?’”

What a square, right?! He said he was shocked that players drink in front of each other, and in front of their coaches.

Chin also spilled the potatoes on what he believes is an NHL tradition called “the change up.”

From the Irish Times:

“And they have this thing called a ‘change up’, when a player is not on form, not scoring. The manager will call a ‘change up’, and basically that player has to go out and ruin himself for the night, then come back the next day, with the attitude of you just don’t care.

“So they send him out, drink 20 pints, go off with a couple of women, whatever he wants. And come back the next day. That’s the way they live. It’s the culture, what they believe in, letting off steam like that. I don’t know if they look at the science behind it.”

Now, we had a hard enough time believing that Irish sports teams don’t have a drinking culture; now he’s trying to have us believe they don’t have the European equivalent of a “slump buster?”

So, um, three things:

1 – He’s claiming NHL players will go out, get hammered, have copious amounts of sex and then return to practice the next day with a devil-may-care attitude.

2 – He’s claiming the head coach is the one who orders this Code Red.

3 – He’s claiming the player will drink “20 pints,” in which case we’re wondering when the Canucks signed Andre The Giant’s ghosts to an entry-level contract. Also, imbibing 20 pints may, in fact, physically make the second part of that “change up” plan impossible.

So, how much of this is true? Is there really a coach-requested “change up” in the NHL?

We asked a couple of guys who might know:

“I’ve heard of guys in a slump go get after if all else fails. The way it’s described no. Never heard that terminology either,” said Paul “Biz Nasty” Bissonette, who currently plays for the AHL Ontario Reign.

“I just saw that. I highly doubt it. Never heard of anything called a ‘changeup.’ There is a thing called ‘playing guilty.’ Every sport has it. If you are struggling for a while, go out and get [poop]faced and play guilty the next day. When you play a little hungover, you tend to keep it simple, work hard and don’t think. Playing guilty is nothing new, and doesn’t happen often. And I seriously doubt that a ‘manager’ calls a ‘change up,’” said former NHL defenseman Mike Commodore.

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What have we learned?

That players will do these things to bust a slump. That coaches aren’t the ones tell them to do it.

That a “change up” is either the filthiest pitch in baseball or the worst body switch movie of the last decade, but not a term used in the NHL.

That the Vancouver Canucks are “one of the top teams in the professional NHL,” which is an actual line in the article. We can only assume this means “top” in the European relegation sense, in that they’re not, like, an ECHL team.

And, finally, that an Irish athlete was blown away by our levels of fighting and boozing. Go hockey!

UPDATE: Canucks respond predictably to allegations about drinking culture

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Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

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