#sith!hoebi-wan

[redcowboy1]

Sith!Obi-Wan simply decided he was gonna be horny on main

[himboskywalker]

okay but ewan mcgregor as obi wan genuinely annoys me, because listen,,, he did not have to make obi wan kenobi so fucking attractive I,,, swear,,, listen I have PRIORITIES, there’s stuff I should be doing, but no ewan mcgregor has to look Like That™. his lips?? his hair? in revenge of the sith obi wan’s hair just kills me bc the grey at the temples it’s attractive I hate it. when I first watched the prequels hayden was my crush but noo, now I’m simping for laser sword wizard man, thanks ewan.

YA’LL HAVE TO QUIT OPENING YOUR ASKS LIKE THIS. You guys are just trying to give me a coronary I can tell. 😂 But I feel you to the marrow of my bones anon—I too am simping for mullet slut McGregor. We love our Hoebi-Wan and his copper hair GRAYING AT THE TEMPLES—and his beautiful PERFECTLY STRAIGHT AND BLINDING SMILE—and when he does flash that lovely smile HE SHOWS EVERY TOOTH IN HIS HEAD—and his lovely blue eyes THAT TWINKLE WHEN HE LAUGHS—

We love that one lock of hair that falls rakishly onto his forehead and the ridiculous way he walks with his hips in those knee high riding boots. We love the little eyebrow cock he gives when he’s being sassy (which is all the time) and we especially love the dimple on his chin when he’s in baby mode with no beard.

Mr. I’m not brave enough for politics but throws myself out 100 story windows and is filled with unending patience,love,compassion,and tenderness. How can someone be so balls to the wall and so dumb,and yet also be so wickedly sharp and so balanced and even keeled? Riddle me that Mr. so uncivilized and I’m the paragon of Jedi virtues but also flirt with Sith and call them darling mid saber battle. Mr. I sit like a porn star in council meetings and take shots at seedy Coruscant lower level bars and took every step and measure to let Anakin come to his senses mid lava planet duel because he believed in him and offered him forgiveness till the very end. Mr. even after the other half of my soul murdered me and everything I stood for I still retained enough love and forgiveness for him to guide him to becoming a force ghost and spending eternity with me. Mr. I watched over the man’s children and dedicated the rest of my life to protecting his son and held the murderer of my master in my arms as he died. Mr. I lost everyone I ever loved but still somehow managed to remain unendingly good and light?

[ellie-you-idiot]

Also featuring:

Hoebi-Wan Kenobi seducing various Imperial officers for information

A particularly nasty prank involving sand in Anakin’s sheets (after which he may or may not have been spotted by various Rebellion personnel chasing the Fulcrum around with a bread knife)

Young Leia learning politics from her mother and Bail Organa

Obi-Wan finding out that his at-the-time nine year old apprentice programmed a protocol droid to understand the language of the Sith (and seriously Anakin how does that happen)

I’m always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it saves the galaxy’ AUs, but I’m also always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it doesn’t save the galaxy’ AUs, partially because I’m sure Palps had several contingencies in place for Anakin not falling, and partially because the concept of baby Luke and Leia being raised by their Mom, Dad, Uncle Obi and Aunt Soka while they run the Resistance kills me.

There are so many incredible directions it can go, but my personal favorites are:

Leia gets a lightsaber and becomes a terror of the galaxy, eventually killing Sidious through sheer bloody-minded stubbornness and no little amount of vigorous stabbing.

Luke and Anakin bond over piloting while Obi-Wan is sick in the back of the transport.

Obi-Wan and Padmé getting drunk and taking the piss out of Sidious. (“Have you— *hic* have you seen his hair?” “Atrocious.” “Fuck, and the robes.” “No sense of panache whatsoever. I was never so unstylish when I wore robes.” “Yes, you were very hot.” “What?” What.”)

Ahsoka, Leia, and Luke prank wars. Blue milk in the pillow is how it starts. Three imperial bases burning while R2 cackles in the background and Padmé and Obi-Wan yelling at them is how it ends.

R2 and Luke are Best Friends. R2 and Leia are Mortal Enemies. Anakin takes Luke’s side. Obi-Wan takes Leia’s. Ahsoka and 3PO form their own team. Padmé privately decides that she can’t be bothered and lets her family have their stupid feud while she establishes another rebel base.

Hondo Ohnaka frequently kidnaps Luke and Leia and tries to get them to join his crew. Leia scams him every single time in the hopes that it’ll get him to back off. It just makes him try harder.

Han Solo shows up when the twins are 16 and both of them get horrible crushes on him. Anakin hates him for it. He shows up again when the twins are 22 and gets a horrible crush on both of them. Luke thinks it’s kind of sweet. Leia is not impressed. Anakin still hates him.

Luke goes out on a routine supply trip and comes back two weeks later with a whole covert of Mandalorians, including one named Din to whom he is very attached. Anakin blames Obi-Wan for it (“It’s your genes. Your stupid, defective, mandalorian-attracting genes.” “Luke and I aren’t even related!!” “You did this.”)

Padmé ‘three outfits a day and no less’ Amidala, Leia ‘braids and floor-length bodycon dresses’ Skywalker, and Luke ‘Chanel boots’ Skywalker, are fashion icons. Anakin, who is almost always covered in grease stains, is consistently mistaken for their escort and/or servant.