#sirius black and i share one braincell

[wzrd-wheezes]

Game On - Sirius Black x Reader Smut

Request: what do you think of established relationship sirius black x fem!reader edging + desperate banging (maybe overstimulation done by who u choose to be the one that snaps first as a sort of “punishment” even tho they’re both in this together 💀)

sirius and reader share the same braincells and are in a very lovey-dovey relationship but one day they feel bored and want to try adding a little ✨spice✨ into their relationship, so they come up with this plan to shake things up a bit: they get dressed up to look their best and go to a club/pub/etc where they flirt with other people while looking at each other till one of them snaps and drags the other to a bathroom or another secluded place and desperately go at it with each other

AN - one thing i love about you guys is that when i ask for smut requests, i know that you'll deliver!! Also, if you guys would like, i can write a part 2/ alternat ending where sirius loses the competition and ends up in the same situation as reader…?

Warnings: this starts off fine but by the end gets pretty filthy. Nothing too weird but -contains: light bondage, edging, slight overstimulation. 3.3k words

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sirius asked as her zipped up his girlfriend’s dress. They were stood in front of the full-length mirror in their bedroom, and he gazed at her reflection as he pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. 

“I’m sure. It was my idea after all.” 

“I know. I’m just making sure.”  

They had been inseparable since their school days, the two of them practically joined at the hip. Yet, within the comfort of their connection, a desire for something new lingered. It was something that they had mulled over countless times, the idea of injecting some excitement into their relationship. When Y/N mentioned the idea, Sirius readily agreed.  

The agenda for the evening was a competition of sorts. They were going to head to one of the local bars, each of them going their separate ways upon arrival. It was a test of wills to see who would crack with jealously as they both flirted and danced with strangers.  

“You’re going down, Black.” Y/N smiled cheekily, pecking him on the lips as she grabbed her bag and headed to the door. 

“Game on.” he grinned.  

The bar that they had chosen was heaving. From the moment they entered, they were enveloped in a kaleidoscope of colours. Neon lights danced across the walls, casting vibrant hues of pink, purple and blue onto the mass of people dancing. The room itself wasn’t very big, a bar lined one wall, and a large dancefloor took centre stage, tall tables filled the space in between. It was large enough so that Y/N and Sirius could distance themselves, but small enough that they could constantly keep an eye on each other.  

They both headed towards the bar, eager to get a drink. Sirius went to one end, Y/N to the other. Y/N slipped onto one of the tall bar stools, resting her chin in her hand as she waited for the bartender to come and take her order. 

“What can I get for you, gorgeous?” the bartender asked, leaning forward slightly. Caught off guard, Y/N felt a faint flush creep onto her cheeks. 

“Surprise me.” she replied playfully. 

His grin widened at her response as he accepted the challenge. With practiced ease, he made her a cocktail, his hands moving gracefully as he poured and mixed with precision. As he slid the drink across the bar towards her, their fingers brushed briefly, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through her veins.  

Sirius was at the other end of the bar lounged against the polished surface; whisky glass perched in his ring clad fingers. His gaze swept across the crowded room planning his next move. As he sipped his drink, his attention was momentarily diverted to his girlfriend at the other side of the bar, engaged in animated conversation with the bartender. ‘Damn, she’s quick,’ he thought as a flicker of emotion crossed his features before he masked it with a playful grin, catching her eye and raising his glass in a silent toast. He quickly downed the rest of his drink before ordering another.  

It didn’t take long for him to find someone to flirt with, as he scanned the room he locked eyes with a girl sat alone at one of the tall tables towards the dance floor. Grabbing his drink, he made his way over. Sirius flashed a charming smile as he approached the girl, his eyes sparkling with mischief. 

“Mind if I join you?” he had already pulled out the chair before giving her time to answer. 

“Depends,” the girl looked up, her eyes sparkling with amusement, “Are you planning on buying me a drink?”  

“Of course.” Sirius replied with a mock-indignant tone, “What’s your poison?”  

By the time Sirius headed back to the bar to buy their drinks, Y/N had already left. He glanced around for her, expecting her to be still chatting to the bartender, but she wasn’t there. Sirius frowned a little, scouring the bar for sight of his girlfriend as he waiting for their drinks to be made. He found her as he headed back to the table, she was sat directly opposite from him on the other side of the room. Her head was thrown back as she laughed at whatever it was that whoever she was talking to said. 

As Sirius approached the bar to order their drinks, he realised that Y/N was no longer there. Confusion flickered across his features as he had half-expected her to still be engaged in conversation with the bartender.  

Frowning slightly, Sirius cast a searching gaze around the bar, his eyes darting from one corner to the next in a bid to locate his girlfriend. It wasn’t until he got back to the table that he spotted her, seated across the room from him, her laugher ringing out amidst the lively atmosphere. A pang of jealously stirred within him as he watched Y/N interact with the man she was sat with. He took a sip of his drink, determined not to let her win their little competition. 

As Sirius sat back down, the girl’s eyes lit up with amusement, her lips curling into a playful smile as she took in his arrival. 

“Well, well, look who’s back,” she teased, “I was starting to think you’d abandoned me for good.” 

Sirius chuckled, sliding into the chair opposite her with a grin, “Sorry about that. Had to navigate through the crowd of admirers just to get our drinks.” 

“Well, I’m flattered you braved the crowds for me.” 

Sirius let out an amused laugh, but he couldn’t keep his attention off of Y/N. Although the conversation between Sirius and the girl flowed effortlessly, each sentence punctuated with flirtatious banter, he spent every spare second eyeing up his girlfriend. 

As soon as Y/N saw that Sirius had gone to sit with another girl, she knew that she had to take it up a level. There was absolutely no way that she was giving him the satisfaction of winning. After her short conversation with the bartender, another man had approached her and offered to buy her a drink which she politely accepted. He led her over to the table that he was sat on, and much to Y/N’s amusement, it was directly opposite from Sirius.  

“You have a gorgeous smile, by the way.” the man said, reaching a hand out to touch her arm. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere, won’t it?” Y/N smirked. 

“I certainly hope so.” 

As Y/N and Sirius found themselves engrossed in conversations across the crowded club, a subtle game of jealousy unfolded between them, each vying to capture the other’s attention. Y/N had really upped the flirtatiousness, laughing slightly louder than usual, leaving lingering touches on the man’s arm. She couldn’t help but look over at Sirius, her heart racing with anticipation at the thought of his reaction.  

It was only when Y/N saw Sirius lean in a little too closely to the girl that she knew she needed to up her game.  

“Wanna dance?” she asked.  

He had introduced himself, but the name slipped from her mind almost as soon as he said it. Adam? Alex? Aaron. It didn’t matter much to her, to be honest. She wasn’t particularly invested in him, merely seeing him as a means to an end in her quest to provoke Sirius. She couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for his unwitting role in her scheme. Nevertheless, Adam/Alex/Aaron seemed eager enough to accept her invitation to dance.  

As they moved to the music, Y/N couldn’t help but notice the way that Sirius’s gaze lingered on them from across the room. With each movement, she could feel his eyes burning into her, a silent testament to the effect that she was having on him.  

Feeling a surge of exhilaration, Y/N leaned in closer to her dance partner, her movements growing more playful with each passing moment. She glanced over his shoulder and locked eyes with Sirius, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her lips.  

Sirius, quite frankly, had had enough. Still locking eyes with his girlfriend, he picked up his glass and drained the contents before turning to the girl (who he had now found out was called Jess) and asked her to dance. 

“Fancy a dance then?”  

“You don’t strike me as much of a dancer.” she narrowed her eyes at him skeptically. 

“Guess you’ll have to find out then, won’t you?” he replied, extending his hand towards her.  

Y/N and Sirius were now only a few meters apart, both dancing with their respective partners. With each playful twirl and flirtatious touch, Y/N felt a pang of jealously gnaw at her insides. Her jaw clenched slightly as she fought to keep her composure. As the music pounded, Y/N’s movements became more deliberate, each step calculated to catch Sirius’s attention. Just as she was sure that Sirius was near to reaching breaking point, she saw red. A fleeting look over at Sirius had revealed the girl’s hands tangled in his hair as she reached up on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. Sirius had laughed, his hand resting on her waist. With her heart pounding in her chest, she approached Sirius, tugging sharply on his arm. 

“You win.”  

“Well, I hate to say I told you so.” Sirius teased, his tone laced with playful arrogance, “But I did warn you that you wouldn’t stand a chance against me.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes at him as she grabbed a hold of his hand and led him out of the bar. 

“You’re awfully eager to get home for someone that has quite a hefty forfeit waiting for them.” he mused, “you did remember that part of the game, right?” 

“As if I could forget.” Y/N fumbled with her keys, trying to unlock their front door, “It’s all I’ve been thinking about all night.” 

“Yeah? Did you get jealous, baby?” Sirius kicked the front door shut behind him, swiftly pressing Y/N against the wall, “You were trying so hard to get me to bite, weren’t you?” 

Sirius had suddenly switched, his eyes darkening as he pressed himself against her. Y/N’s head was tipped back against the wall as he pressed sloppy, desperate kisses up the collum of her neck. 

“You better head upstairs, you’ve got a long night ahead of you, gorgeous.” 

Within minutes of being in their bedroom, Sirius had her naked, and spread out on the bed, her hand expertly tied to the headboard. He on the other hand, was fully clothed, save for his white dress shirt that was unbuttoned halfway down his chest revealing the tattoos that adorned his skin. He stood at the edge of their bed, staring down at her cockily. 

“Poor girl.” he tutted, “You wanted to win so bad, didn’t you? Didn’t want to be the one tied up and teased when we got home, did you? Was a silly idea from you, really, because you were never going to win.” 

“I was close.” Y/N argued, “You nearly snapped first. ‘Saw it in your eyes when I was dancing.” 

“Mhm. I didn’t like that he had his hands all over you. That’s my job.” Sirius said, “I almost feel bad for him –s pending his night talking to you when all you could think about all night was how good I was going to fuck you when we got home.” 

Y/N whined, tugging against her restraints. Sirius just chuckled, kneeling down on the edge of the bed, nudging her legs open.  

“That’s right, isn’t it? I bet every time he touched you, all you could think about was me. How I’d be making you beg for me as soon as we got home.” 

“Sirius, please.”  

“This wet already?” he slid a finger through her folds, “Were you soaked all night just thinking about me?” 

Y/N groaned and nodded. She knew Sirius would get like this if he won and she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t enjoying every single second of it.  

“Y-yes, Sirius, been thinking about you all night.” 

He smirked as he pushed one of his fingers inside of her, eliciting a soft moan from her lips. He pumped it inside a few times before slowly adding another one. 

“So eager for me.” he murmured, “It’s going to be a little while before I let you come though.” 

“I know...” Y/N whispered, “Just, don’t stop. Please.” 

Sirius didn’t need to be told twice. He had no intentions of stopping any time soon. Dipping his head down to meet the sensitive flesh, he licked a slow deliberate stripe over her clit. Y/N struggled, yanking against her restraints, desperate to weave her hands through his hair. When Sirius pulled away, her hips bucked up instinctively, eager to have his touch. 

“How many times do you think I need to edge you before you go completely dumb for me?” Sirius asked, sickly sweet smile on his face, “Usually five does the trick doesn’t it? But tonight, you seem so desperate already. I don’t think it’ll take that many at all.” 

“Please. Not five.” she whimpered, looking down at him pleadingly. 

“No?” 

Sirius sat up, raking a hand through his dark hair as he reached down into the box that they kept tucked under their bed. Y/N’s eyes widened, knowing exactly what he was searching for. She heard it before she saw it, the soft buzzing sound that filled the room. Sirius pressed the vibrator gently against her clit, resuming his previous position and sliding two fingers back inside of her. 

“Good girl.” he cooed, “Feel good, baby?”  

Y/N nodded, her head tipped back against the pillows, mouth slightly open. Sirius turned the vibrator up notch, causing a soft moan to fall from her lips. The girl’s hips rocked forward onto Sirius’s fingers, earning a smirk from him.  

“Tell me when you get close.” 

A few moments passed, the motion of her hips becoming quicker, trying to meet the rhythm of Sirius’s thrusts.  

“C-close.” she gasped, her eyes screwing shut, “Can I come?” 

“Nope.” 

Sirius turned the vibrator off and removed his fingers. Y/N whimpered at the loss of stimulation, frowning down at her boyfriend. 

“Don’t look so disappointed. You knew this was going to happen when we decide to do our little competition,” Sirius nipped at the skin of her inner thigh, making her flinch, “You picked the punishments, baby. You really thought you were going to win, didn’t you? Wanted to have me all tied up and desperate?” 

“I’ll win next time. Just hated how she was touching you.”  

“Next time?” Sirius cocked his head at her, “You’re very confident for someone who’s all tied up right now.”  

“Shut u-” 

Y/N didn’t get chance to finish her sentence as Sirius switched the vibrator on and pressed it firmly back against her clit.  

“Remember your manners.” 

Sirius continued his routine of playing around with the settings out the vibrator while simultaneously fucking his girlfriend with his fingers. He knew exactly what got her going so it was no surprise that a few minutes later she was thrashing around on the bed begging him to keep going. 

“No.” 

“Please, Sirius.” 

“I said no.”  

He pressed his fingers upwards, hitting her just right, getting her just teetering on the edge of orgasm before quickly switching the vibrator off and leaving her empty once more.  

“Getting so wet for me, darling.” He held his fingers up so that she could see. Her wetness had coated his fingers and Sirius smiled proudly as he showed them to her, “Wanna taste?” 

Before she could reply, he pushed his fingers passed her lips, now slightly swollen from her biting down on them. She groaned, taking them into her mouth and swirling her tongue around his digits. 

“Dirty girl.” he said, taking his fingers out and guiding them back inside of her pussy. Just as he did before, her brought her to the edge again. And again.  

By the fourth time she was denied orgasm, her skin was glistening with sweat, her hips bucking up erratically each time he threated to remove his fingers. Her lips were read and bitten, her breath coming out in short bursts. 

“Sirius, please, please just let me come.”  

He ignored her, lazily drawing circles over her sensitive clit with his thumb. 

“Fuck. Sirius, please. God, I need it.” 

“But you sound so pretty when you beg, baby. Would be such a shame if I stopped now...” he let his voice trail off, taking in her frustrated expression for a moment before continuing, “But, seen as you asked so nicely...” 

He stood up and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, sliding it over his toned arms and removing it. Not quite being done with the teasing, he decided to take his time getting undressed, leaving his girlfriend laying tied up and needy on the bed as she watched. He neatly folded his shirt and placed it on the chair in the corner of the room. Smirking, he stood at the foot of the bed, deft fingers removing his belt and dropping it to the floor with a clatter, he shoved his trousers and boxers down and took his cock into his hand, pumping it a few times.  

“God, you look fucking gorgeous.” he all but pounced on top of her, nuzzling his face into her neck.  

It was as it something had switched in his brain, the teasing and tormenting now long forgotten as some primal urge took over. He needed to be inside her. His lips collided with hers, the kiss hungry and urgent. He undid her restraints with one hand, not even breaking contact with her lips.  

He lined himself up with her entrance, urging her to wrap her legs around his waist as he pushed his way inside. Their moans mixed together as he entered. Having use of her hands back, Y/N couldn’t wait to touch him. Her hands moving rapidly up to tangle in his hair. Sirius rested his forehead against hers as he thrust his hips, the chain that hung from his neck dangling in her face, the cool metal cold against her flushed skin. 

“You getting close, love?” Sirius asked, feeling his girlfriend tense up around him. 

“Y-yeah. So close.” she let out a ragged breath, burying her face in the crook of his neck. 

“Come for me, baby.”  

Sirius increased his pace, driving her once more to the edge of orgasm, however, this time, he didn’t stop as she reached her peak, maintaining the steady rhythm of his thrusts as her orgasm came crashing down. She dragged her nails down his back causing him to let out a gruff moan as she convulsed around him.  

“That’s my girl.”  

“S-sensitive, Sirius. Fuck.” Y/N wriggled around on the bed, her body burning with the aftermath of her orgasm.  

“Keep going, baby. You wanted this, yeah? Spent all that time begging me to let you come.” he taunted, “Want you to come again f’me. Want you to come at the same time as me. You can do that, can’t you?” 

Y/N nodded quickly, grabbing the back of Sirius’s neck and pulling him down to kiss her. He smiled into the kiss, his hips snapping against hers as he chased his own high. His moans grew louder as she clenched around him, her hips rocking in time with his.  

“Fuck, you feel so good. Always feel so good f’me.” he growled, “Gonna come inside you, baby. Gonna fill you up.” 

Y/N’s chest heaved as she rapidly approached her peak once again. She could feel Sirius growing closer and close with each movement. The roll of his hips started to stutter and he sunk his teeth into the flesh between her shoulder and neck and he climaxed. Y/N followed suit, once again wrapping her legs around him, drawing him as close as she possibly could.  

They both collapsed in a sweaty heap on the bed. Sirius reached over to brush her hair out of her face, propping himself up on one elbow as he gazed lovingly at her.  

“Good game?” he reached down to catch her lips sweetly with his. 

“Good game.”  

[sweeterelease]

Hello! Tumblr suggested your acc to me and i see why lol

NEW MARAUDERS PERSON YAY

...at this rate i'm going to know all the marauders people on tumblr lol

Anyways do you have a favorite dynamic/trope for any characters? (or if you don't know who to do, maybe the black brothers?)

PLSS HI! ty for the ask!! i am indeed new here hi helloooo, opened the acc after rereading just lovers for the 9248 time, jegulus!! as for my faves:

jegulus ofc, wolfstar my dearests, LOVEEE moonwater too, chaotic prongsfoot, rosekiller!! but also bartylus and starosekiller, lately i’ve even been getting into jartylus bc i adoreee frenemies sunkiller too omg, also love regulus and pandora’s friendship they mean so much to me ˙◠˙ pan is my fav girl, i think if dorlene don’t rule the world she will!

remus as a character!! incredibly good i really love him, it’s admiration, his dynamic with literally every character? i’m a fan. i wouldn’t say i’m a kinnie, not quite, but he’s quite literally everything i wish i could be

THE BLACK BROTHERS i’ve read so much angst and i don’t even like angst, they make me insane i truly care so much for them, good star brother development will always do it for me!!

for character hcs my most fond are the ones i share traits with hehe i claim evan as ace and pandora and james as pan, my siblings in gay!!

james and marlene give me my pan and lesbian solidarity, sirius and mary just spill bisexual energy and remus and regulus are my mlm duo!

(barty and evan are simply barty and evan, god knows what goes on)

i’ve also been reading such funny hcs from barty and sirius so i think their dynamic is literally a hot mess, love them, it’s like someone finally matching your freak in a way it even kind of angers you..

remus friendships!! remus and lily are so warm to me, i can see myself in both their personalities so it’s like having my two braincells work together. remus and james just make me so happy i think they both find such comfort in the other, james is a cuddler and remus indulges oh how i love them!

i’m still getting to know all the characters and i’ve been having so much fun so i’ll probably have to update my faves eventually but for now i’m open to read and talk about anything!! if someone has a fic rec, playlist or just want to talk about these silly lil gays i’m always pleased, very much appreciated! love, SR <3

[marceltheshellwithflipflopson]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @becomethesun <3<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

allegedly 46,015, but 5,569 of those words were technically written by @freetobeyouandmichi-me in our shared au! (love ya)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the last of us

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. cold is the water

2. buckets of rain / shelter from the storm

3. you love me so hard and i still can't sleep

4. matchbox

5. patron saints

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES when @toointojoelmiller said ao3 comments were better than drugs she was RIGHT! but fr they make me giddy every time, even if it's just a singular emoji or a bunch of exclamation points

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe creature fear? just because it's so early days joel and ellie, so there's no warm and fuzzies to be had anywhere. wouldn't say it's angsty though

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm kind of incapable of writing a sad ending, so it's a three way tie between my fluffiest children (1) buckets of rain / shelter from the storm, (2) mountain high, valley low, river wide, and (3) fisherman hats and carpet stains

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not YET thank GOD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't but i have a prospect x tlou crossover in the earliest of early stages

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

kinda yes! michi wrote Roll for Halloween Hijacks for our modern au and was kind enough to name me as co-author

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm lame and most of my ships are just the ones that are already canon :/ but if i had to pick a wild card, i was oddly obsessed with peter parker/harley keener back in the marvel heyday

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really don't want to speak this into existence, but literally any of my ideas for longfics

16. What are your writing strengths?

fluff, dialogue, authentic characters

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

underwriting, writing consistently, whump/angst

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i do not think i would be any good at this

19. First fandom you wrote for?

should i lay bare all the skeletons in my closet rn? on a tumblr that i deleted over a decade ago, i wrote a few random one-shots of fred weasley/reader, george weasley/reader, remus lupin/reader, sirius black/reader, (brace yourselves) dan howell/reader, and phil lester/reader ... what the fuck i even shipped phan so idk why i did this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

this is a hard question but i think my home (far away). it challenged me and took me out of my comfort zone but at the same time it was some of the most fun i've ever had writing

no pressure tags! @lkay-09 @two-birds-alone-together @boopernatural (also sorry, you were probably already tagged bc of our braincell hivemind lol)

[lostwriter--xx3]

I was literally thinking of his neck bye we really do share the same 3 braincells

Also YES and James doesn't immediately realise the economical significance of Toebean, he treasures him anyway. Around his and Paddy's 3rd marriage anniversary while working out taxes he realises that 11 year old paddy wouldn't have enough money to buy such an intricate crystal carving charmed keychain and then his gaze falls on Toebean and Antler the One Antler patched up with muggle glue Stag (Toebean's husband of 3 years) and then he falls in love with Sirius Orion Black all over again

Don't mind me just putting my 2 fav prongsfoot hcs out here

a) Yeah yeah we all know Paddy licked tf out of James in his amg form not even jegulas and wolfstar shippers can deny this cohesively BUT I'm going to die in the hill that James loved getting licked by Sirius when both of them were human. Like human Sirius just randomly licking his finger. Nothing sexual (not always anyway) just...James loves physical contact of that level of being comfortable with someone

b) Lil Paddy got very little allowance in his first year for being sorted into Griffindor BUT he saved up all of it in a jealous little bronze pile at the back of his closet. And in the summer before his 2nd year, he took it out and pimped out all of it on a small, black dog keychain as a present for James' 12th birthday to always remind James that Sirius would he there for him (yeah they were already that close). And while 5th year Sirius was pining away to death and James could never love him that way, Prongsie was building clay babies to accompany the little black dog (his name is Toebean btw) and his "very good friend", a little brown stag keychain (that James had saved up all year for) in their little cardboard house. On his and Sirius' wedding night, that was his present. Don't come for me, this is basically unwritten canon.

Add yours babes

[cinnamonwords]

Marauders Free-use Fantasy

Pairing(s) James Potter x Lily Evans, James Potter x Female!Reader, James Potter x Marlene McKinnon, Remus Lupin x Lily Evans, Remus Lupin x Female!Reader, Sirius Black x Lily Evans, Sirius Black x Female!Reader

Warnings I wrote this at 1 am if you see any mistake, ignore them, free use, somnophilia (established consent), p in v, oral, anal, curse words, foursome (MMMF), not cheating- sharing, no condoms, creampie

The marauders shared everything. Thoughts, ideas, braincells, clothes, food, money, even women.

So when Sirius stormed into their shared bedroom and began humping Remus’ sleeping girlfriend, he payed no mind. It was a common thing for them, everyone consented. James sometimes sought out Sirius’ girlfriend, Marlene, because he liked her dominant attitude and the way her big tits wrapped around his cock. Remus loved teasing James’ girlfriend, Lily, with his long, hot tongue. And Sirius’ current obsession was you, Remus’ girlfriend. You were a filthy whore who loved to be fucked anywhere, anytime, and Sirius loved watching your eyes cross as he pushed his cum deep inside your uterus.

Remus continued his herbology paper as if Sirius hadn’t undressed his beloved and was now fondling her breasts and hammering his cock into her tight cunt. You were surprisingly still deep asleep, the only indication that you knew what was happening were your soft mewls and broken moans.

Remus could no long concentrate. The sound of Sirius’ heavy balls slapping against your skin accompanied by your moans and whimpers made it impossible for him to think.

“James, do me a favor and shut her up.”

“Anything for you, moony.” James, who had previously been busy brainstorming ideas for his and Lily’s anniversary, quickly brought his cock out and walked towards Remus’ bed to shove it into your open mouth.

With 2/3 holes filled your whines increased in volume as you wished to be full in your anus as well. Remus sighed as he put his herbology paper aside and instead joined the threesome on his bed. He lubed you best he could with Sirius’ bruising thrusts before he gave you what you wanted and inserted his long, thick cock into your asshole.

How did we get here? Remus wondered back to that humid September night.

James and Lily had just started dating and things could not have been better. James was funny and kind and had truly matured other the summer, Lily was so glad Mary and Dorcas convinced her to give him a chance. One date had turned into many others, which turned into boyfriend and girlfriend, and now James and Lily celebrated 6 months of dating. Half a year!

For their 6 month anniversary James had prepared a beautiful scavenger hunt of places and times James fell in love with Lily. The scavenger hunt led Lily into James’ bed where they made love to each other under the dim light of candles. James’ cock was inside of Lily’s tight fluttering cunt when he got the strangest thought, ‘Sirius and Remus need to experience this’.

The thought scared James. He was usually very protective of Lily and even the thought of another person getting to experience her beautiful pussy made him red with anger. But for some reason the thought of his mates, Sirius and Remus, fucking his girlfriend didn’t anger him, it aroused him.

He obviously kept this thought to himself and only entertained the idea at night with his fist wrapped tightly around his cock. The thought was eating him alive and of course his friends and girlfriend noticed. Remus and Sirius were confused. It had been weeks of James acting strange, he wouldn’t look them in the eye and he flinched when they touched him- something was clearly bothering him but he wouldn’t spit it out. Lily was equally confused. It seemed after the night of the 6 month anniversary James didn’t have time for her anymore. He avoided her in the hallway and tensed whenever she brushed her tits against his arm to let him know she was thinking about him.

James’ strange behavior continued for two more weeks until Sirius got tired of it. If James wouldn’t tell him what was wrong then he was left with no choice but to consult the journal. Last Christmas Professor McGonagall had gifted James a journal and told him to write down his thoughts instead of entering her class during her off period and talking her ear off. James had played it off at first but he actually ended up loving the gift and journaling his every move and thought.

Sirius skimmed the pages. He hated to intrude on James’ privacy like this but if he did something wrong he needed to know, he would not lose his best friend. What Sirius found was unexpected but honestly better than anything his overthinking mind came up with. Little Jamesie had thoughts about Sirius and Remus fucking his girlfriend and he was embarrassed about it. Sirius grinned as he raced off towards the library to inform Lily and Remus. If James wanted to see his girlfriend be used and fucked by his best mates then that’s what he would see.

James sneakily entered the Gryffindor tower and climbed up the stairs to his dorm room. Avoiding his friends and his lover was no easy task and James was tired and achy from jumping into broom closets and running out of classrooms as soon as the bell rang. James didn’t expect to hear moaning and grunting coming from his dorm room though. Eh, he could just sneak into bed, he was exhausted. James kept his eyes down and movements quiet as he entered the dorm room and crept his way towards his bed.

“Jamie” a high pitched moan James knew all too well cut through the silence and made him freeze.

His eyes darted up and he was met with a sight only in his wettest dreams. Lily was naked on his bed, on her hands and knees, with Remus’ cock buried deep inside her cunt and Sirius’ cock balls deep in her mouth. James must have slipped on the stairs and died because he was in heaven. His sweet, innocent Lilypad being stretched out by his best mates cocks.

“We’ve been waiting for you, Prongs.”

“Such a good girl you have here, mate. Should have heard her moans when Rem pushed into her for the first time.”

James was sure his brain was deceiving him. This was just like in his dreams, there was no way they would know- his journal. They read his journal.

“Come here, my love. I still have one hole left to fill.” Lily extended her hand towards him and James almost tripped over himself as he quickly stumbled to grab it.

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

Tease

Wanted to try a male reader for once and i really enjoyed writing this :) One of my favs dare I say. Have fun!

Warning: 18+

---

„You said you didn‘t want it!“ Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up in defense when you threw the empty chocolate pack at him.

„I was being polite!“ You protested, „Posh boys like you should know that!“

Sirius‘ eyes narrowed and he threw the pack at your head this time. „I am not a posh boy, fucker. You better fucking kiss my feet or I will-“

You tackled him with a cry, hitting his face repeatedly with a pillow. Your body jerked on top of his rhythmically, which either meant that he was laughing or chocking to death. And you really hoped it be the latter.

„Don‘t you fucking dare asshole! You promised not to bring it up!“

His next words came out muffled from underneath the soft fabric, which began to feel not so soft, considering that you were pressing pretty hard. Sirius started to panic and yelled out a „Help! Help! I‘m dying!“

You felt strong arms wrap around your stomach and drag you away from your murder mission.

„Let me go! He needs to die!“

James was laughing so hard at Sirius‘ horrified face that even he had trouble keeping you at bay.

„This is bullying! I‘ll tell Minnie! You fucking lutanic!“

„Minnie doesn‘t care about your sob story, she would be delighted to find out I killed you before she could with all of your missing homework!“

Sirius barreled towards you with a battle cry, but James threw you to the side, effectively blocking the tackle with his body. Sirius must have aimed to hurt you a little, because James fell down with an painfully loud thud.

„Bloody hell, Pads. That bloody hurt.“ James groaned, rubbing his ribs soothingly.

Sirius scrambled up and helped his friend off the ground, throwing you a dark look. You sneered at him, sitting down on the bed farthest away. James grinned at his friend, mouth opening to make fun of him.

„How could he hold you down like that? He‘s smaller than you!“

Sirius huffed, blushing a little with embarrassment and he turned away, presumably to hide his red cheeks. „He had an advantage. I was being strangled, mind you.“

„Strangled my ass“ you said under your breath and crossed your arms petulantly. „He made fun of me. Again!“

James raised a brow in amusement, eyes flickering towards you and you groaned when you saw his expression. Here we go.

„Is it about a certain wolf?“

Sirius turned around so fast you heard his ankles crack and moved to stand next to his friend, delighted to have him at his side and chuckled. Your scowl darkened and you got up, trying to push though your friends to leave.

„Fuck off, both of you. I‘m leaving.“

Sirius stopped laughing and raised his hands in defeat. „Oh come on, don‘t be ridiculous, we‘re only taking a piss mate.“

Your mouth fell open to hurl more curses at him when you saw Remus appear behind the two boys and clamped your mouth shut again. Fuck, was your hair alright? You secretly smoothed it over, glaring at James when he wiggled his brows suggestively.

„Alright, everyone?“ Remus asked, voice exhausted and he fell down next to you on the bed, sighing with relief when his aching joints didn‘t have to carry his weight anymore. The moon was taking a toll on him.

„Are you alright?“ Your voice came out worried and you stroked through his messy curls. Remus only let out a tired „Mhm“ as he sank down further into the mattress, pressing into your hand.

„Is it the moon?“

„Mhm.“

„Are you hurting already?“

Sirius chimed in from his bed. „I think it‘s safe to say that the old man is always hurting.“

You glared at him. „Shut up, Black. No one asked you.“

Sirius huffed and turned his back towards you with a dramatic toss of his dark hair, pulling his curtains closed.

This time James spoke up, peaking his head from the corner of the bathroom door. Some of his toothpaste spilled over when he opened his mouth and you grimaced at the disgusting sight. James and Sirius seemed to share one braincell. A part-time braincell, that was clearly rusty at this point from being so rarely used.

„Need anything?“

Remus jerked, clearing jostled awake from his little slumber and groaned in annoyance. „Peace and quiet. Oh wait, that‘s death.“

You couldn‘t help the snort that escaped you at his deadpanned tone and whacked him on the head. Remus cracked an eye open and smiled at your amusement. You schooled your expression and held your hand up in a mock salute.

„No one is dying. And if, then we‘ll do it together.“

There was a series of Amen‘s and you nodded in satisfaction, like a general who never liked being told no. Already dressed in your pajamas, or actually only your pajama pants, you crawled into your own bed, across from Remus‘. You wished that Remus would have clasped your wrist and made you stay, he did that sometimes, but alas it was just a wish. You had it bad for the boy, fingers still tingling with the feel of his hair. You thought about what it would be like to kiss him, to touch his scars and feel his breath on your face when you slept.

You huffed frustratedly when your brain forced stupid scenarios into your mind. Fuck, were they nice ones at that.

No, he isn‘t gay, brain! Fucking stop with the mental images!

Your brain decided to one up itself and showed you a very suggestive image of Remus on his knees, sucking your dick with such contentment it made your breath hitch.

Fuck.

Or Remus on his hands and knees, every little detail of his body on display, making such lovely keening noises you thought you had died for sure.

Oh fuck.

You opened you eyes instantly to stop the dirty thoughts of your best mate, mind you, and tried to calm your breathing. Apparently, meditation is a hoax, because no matter how many sheeps you counted or deep breaths you took, your brain was still convinced that Remus sucking you off was the hottest thing ever. And it is the hottest thing ever, you agreed. So did your raging boner.

Only this once.

Against your better judgement your hand trailed down your chest towards your pants, slipping under the waistband of your underwear. Your hand wrapped around your hard cock and imagined Remus on top of you, kissing your lips feverishly. Groaning and moaning into your mouth, telling you how good you feel around him. Telling you how long he had waited for this moment. Biting your lip you moved faster, stifling your groans when your palm spread your precum over the sensitive tip. You were so close, head thrown back in pleasure, fuck so close so clo-

„Shit sorry!“

Somehow you managed to pick up a shocked gasp through your trance and your eyes opened wide, jerking violently. And here he was, the source of your inescapable desire. Remus fucking Lupin. Who just caught you wanking. Your brain has meanwhile decided to pack its suitcase and piss off, because suddenly you couldn't produce a single clear sentence. It felt like being a baby all over again, not knowing how to use your voice or twists your tongue to get the right words out. Not that there was anything to say, you couldn’t just pretend like you weren’t touching yourself.So, you just stare at him like a moron, your hand still in your fucking pants. Slowly but surely you felt your face heat up and you didn't even dare to breathe loudly, too scared to scare Remus away.

His eyes were fixed on your hand, teeth biting his lip. Not knowing what to do, he apparently decided to just stand there. The curtains of your bed were gripped tightly in his fist, as if it were the only thing that kept him steady at the moment. The both of you stared at each other for a good minute, digesting the embarrassment of the situation until Remus climbed into your bed.

Wait. 

Alarm bells rang shrill in your head, the nerve cells in your skull burst into panic. 

Remus in your bed. 

Crawling between your legs. 

Your hand still in your pants. 

What.

„Let me help?“ Remus‘ voice was raspy, slightly scared that you‘ll reject him. He was seated between your knees now, wringing his scarred hands nervously. It took you a few seconds to register what he had said as you blinked at him in mortification. 

Remus hung his head, nodding to himself as if he had known that this would happen and moved away. Fuck, no come back. Brain! Say something!

Your brain was still hyperventilating however, so your legs decided to give you a hand, definitly under the order of your hard cock, which was already throbbing with excitement. You snap your legs shut, trapping Remus’ upper body between your thighs and pulled him on top of you. Not expecting the move, Remus fell forward and his lips smashed on yours.

Oh wow.

This was better than you expected. This exeeds all 638 fantasies you ever had of this moment. This was real.

You kissed for a while, both of you falling into each others arms to feel as close as possible, grinding your cocks on each other like horny teens. Which you were, to be precise. You moved your head to the side to break the kiss, grinning at Remus’ lust hazy expression and bucked your hips up again.

“I’ll have that help now, if you’re still offering...” You whispered, basking in the boyish grin of the wolf.

Moving to wipe your hand on your bedsheet to finally touch him, Remus caught your hand and brought it to his mouth. You whined quietly when you felt his tongue tickle your palm. Remus mmm‘d softly, a devilish glint twinkling in his bright eyes.

Lifting your hips, Remus pulled down your pants and you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch. Nothing in the world could keep your from branding the sight of Remus licking your cock into the depths of your mind. 

Remus leaned in, mouthing at the skin of your stomach, inching closer to your weeping tip. He took his time, breathing your scent in deeply, his eyes closed.

„Come on Moony“ you urged, lifting your hips. Remus held you down, smirking up at you teasingly.

„Either you let me go in my own pace or you can suck it yourself.“

You immediately stilled and made a motion of locking your lips with an imaginary key. Remus chuckled soundlessly and you nearly, nearly, bucked your hips up again. His mouth was so hot and wet and god it was really Remus sucking your cock. The thought alone made you shudder and writhe under him, your hands burried in his curls. Remus may not know much about blowjobs, but he made up for it with his enthusiasm. His moan was just filthy, the way he looked at you through his eyelashes as if he just wanted to devour you, to break you into pieces.

“Oh Remus” you groaned into your fist, knuckles white from gripping his hair so tightly, “Wait ah fuck please wait!”

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled away, raising his brow at you. His facial expression was something akin to “How dare you interrupt me?” 

You took deep breaths to hold yourself from cumming when he smeared the tip of your cock against his glistening lips, coating himself in your cum while he glared at you. This boy is sin.

“Wanna cum with you” you explained breathlessly, pulling him up to smash your lips on his. Remus groaned low in his throat when you sucked his lips, moving to straddle your lap. The rough fabric of his pants made you snort contemptuously and you tugged at the waistband, mumbling an annoyed “Off.”

Remus seemed to agree, with the way he nearly ripped the zipper clean off and finally he was naked. Not fully, but you let him be, knowing he’d be insecure about his scars. You’ll work on that next time. Next time.

Remus placed his hands on his thighs, letting you admire his body. His confidence shot up by the way your breathing got heavier and your cock twitched under his. Every millimeter of your skin is touching, both of you slowly rocking your cocks against the other. Your cum mixed and made it easier to move and you took them in your hands, a huge breath escaping your lips with the sudden rush of electricity. Remus quickly casted a silencing charm and gave into the pleasure, setting a fast pace by thrusting his cock in your fist.

“Fuck you feel so good” Remus groaned and squeezed your wrists, “I’ve wanted this for so long”

You nearly laughed by how ridiculously acurate your fantasies had been and gripped harder, crying out when Remus leaned down to bite your shoulder hard, leaving imprints of his teeth on your flesh.

“’M’not gonna la- oh Moony fuck” You were lost in your pleasure, already sensitive with your denied orgasm from before. Remus slapped your hand away and spit on your cocks, taking them in his hands this time. His pace was aggressive and impatient, hand unyielding and he rocked his hips as fast as he could. 

“Want you to cum on my cock” Remus grunted, his other hand gripping your jaw to look into your eyes. His pupils were blown out, as if he was on a high. You felt him pulse against you, his eyes screwd shut and he came with a loud cry, making you tip over the edge as well. His hand kept going, thighs holding you down when you tried to squirm away. 

Bringing his cum covered hand to his mouth, Remus gave it a tentative lick, eyes fluttering shut when his tongue wrapped around his fingers. You watched him hum around his hand and he gave you a satisfied smile, totally in bliss with your little session.

“This was fucking hot” Remus grinned and fell down next to you, blinking at you tiredly.

You bit your lip and mustered up enough courage to squeak out a “So you’re gay?” 

Remus gave you a flat look. “I came on your cock didn’t I?”

You cleared your throat and laughed quietly. “Yeah. Yeah you did.” Your voice came out dreamy and you threw your leg over his middle.

And just like that you surrendered to your exhaustion, while Sirius and James were hysterical with exicetment. Their shared braincell was activated and currently made it its mission to come up with ways to catch you next time. Embarassing you was their thing after all.

[liptonsbabe]

Mustaches [S.B]

Sirius Black x Potter! reader James Potter x Lily Evans

Summary: James and Sirius are best friends and they share everything. Even their only one braincell

Word count: 865

Warnings: none

As always, english not my mother language so pls tell me if something’s wrong. Enjoy!

Being Saturday morning and with a much anticipated visit to Hogsmeade, the boys at Hogwarts were very excited to visit every store in town. Lily Evans woke up early and after taking a relaxing shower, she took her Muggle clothes and dressed as best as she could. In her bed still asleep her best friend (Y/N) Potter was snoring lightly.

Lily tossed you a pillow, waking you up

"Hey, sleeping beast, it's time to get up”

"Leave me alone, Evans," you whispered as you tangled in the covers. Lily rolled her eyes

"If you don't get up now, McGonagall and the others will go to Hogsmeade without us."

You jumped up when you heard Lily's words. You had been looking forward to going to Hogsmeade and having a good time with the redhead. Since your brother James and Lily started dating, you haven't had the time to gossip with her properly, much less in those months that you and Sirius started dating.

Taking a shower too quickly, you dressed appropriately to go out into the cold winter. You smiled at Lily before wrapping your arm around hers and heading down the stairs to the common room.

The joy was noticeable in every member of the Gryffindor house, leaving the castle was always a day of happiness and relaxation away from homework and essays to be delivered. Besides, it was being a good season for the lions at Quidditch.

You saw the marauders in the back of the room, James and Sirius had their backs towards you while they were talking animatedly with Peter and Remus who seemed to be prisoners of a bad joke as their faces showed discomfort. Lily and you came closer, touching their backs.

You quickly understood Moony and Wormtail's faces. Looking at each other, you frowned as Lily stared at James's face in disbelief. You seemed confused to see them wear what they wore so proudly

"Good morning, ladies," James began. "Ready to go?"

“what in the hell do you have on your face?”

James looked at Sirius as they gave a refined chuckle. You made a face holding your laughter

"It's very clear what it is, Lily," you said. "They're wearing a pair of rats under their noses."

James frowned

"These are not rats," he said, stroking the great tuft of hair. "These are very elegant and suitable mustaches."

“Suitables for what? To scare people?”

"This makes us look handsome," Sirius said as he caressed his mustache.

"I told them it was stupid," Remus said, shaking his head. "As usual, they didn't listen to me."

You started to experience a fit of laughter just like Lily. It wasn't like they looked bad with that hair on their faces but it was just too strange to see them that way. Remus and Peter joined your laughter and then all of Gryffindor did it.

"Alright, I feel attacked right now"

"Oh James, you're crazy if you think I'll kiss you with that thing stuck in your face," Lily said, crying with laughter. James pouted

"That is unfair!"

"I'm sorry, buddy." Sirius patted him on the back. "Not all men look good with a mustache like mine."

"Ugh, the same goes for you Sirius," you told him. James made fun of him

"what? why!”

"Please just shave it”

"No!" They both shouted at the same time. "It makes us look classy.”

"Besides," James added, "I think a good mustache will help my Quidditch team respect me more. Cause there’s nothing more respectable than a man with a mustache”

"I'm just doing it to support him," Sirius pointed out. "We couldn't convince Peter and Remus to do it."

“Thanks god”

Minerva McGonagall entered through the portrait calling everyone to go to Hogsmeade. When James and Sirius tried to hold hands with their respective girlfriends, you pulled away.

"No huh," you said, "This day is just for girls and we don't want you messing around much less with that ... hamster stucked in your face

"Oh come on, sweetheart," said Sirius, "deep down I know you love my mustache."

He reached over to kiss you, but you pulled away laughing

"No kissing until you shave that thing."

"Forget it, Potter”

"Too bad then”

You turned around and walked out of the portrait. James tried to kiss Lily, but she did the same as you and ran out of there. James looked at Sirius as he pointed towards the door

"They're playing hard to get. I know they love our mustaches”

“We don’t!!” You shouted from afar. Sirius snorted

“This is the last time I take a part in one of your stupid plans”

James pouted

"Oh, come on!

[griffnoir]

i had this idea for a fic that i just wanted to share bc i thought it was neat and i know i will never write it under the cut : regulus black and severus snape, young and not that desperate, team up to defeat voldemort (for better and for worse)

- we are in 79. regulus goes to retrieve the locket, happy to die a sad and heroic death BUT kreacher brings him back to grimmauld place against his orders. he is dying... because of a potion... kreacher knows someone who knows shit about potions... regulus lives au! severus gets kidnapped by a nasty house-elf :/ he def had better sundays but that’s fine: he helps his fellow death-eater bc it’s what one does (everything for the cause!)

- regulus heals. regulus isn’t so happy about it (one cannot even kill oneself in this economy) then the conversation goes: reg : hey do u wanna know something that will get u killed? sev : no. reg : so the dark lord has made this thing called an horcrux... :D sev : T.T fuck why would u say that to me

- severus had doubts(tm) about this death-eater thing. this is the tipping point. so they are here, 18 and 19, one braincell between them, deciding after multiple identity crisis that they will kill the dark lord or die trying (they have better faith in the dying part but that’s ok they have nothing to lose) - they both know too much so this is a sort of race against time reg : i guess we could go to dumbledore sev : lol we are not THAT desperate

- they don’t go to dumbledore ://

- it is very important to me that they can’t fucking stand each other on the best of days. like: severus is severus, the little rat(affectionate) but i always thought of regulus as a mix between sirius and draco, plus whatever u want (this is not a good mix). the guy is pampered, rich, posh and a bloody nuisance of a person (also a dedicated blood supremacist); severus isn’t a Black so for once in his life he is actually the well-adjusted one - this doesn’t augure well for their enterprise

- do they succeed? yes. how? dumb luck. also they have a “they didn’t know it was impossible so they did it” type of thing going on. regulus’ superpower is the fact that he is rich, has connections and that nobody suspects him of anything. severus’ one is pure spite and the hogging of the braincell; they both think they are the brain behind this operation and that they are superior to the other in the ways that count (actually they are both just clowns)

- one of the only thing they share is the ultimate goal of killing voldemort; also, they both have somebody on the other side they don’t want ending up dead, so there is that; moreover they are both stressed out of their minds (the self-medication is strong and it could become a problem)

- they have to juggle their public life, their death-eater life and their hunting horcruxes life. it gets complicated :(

- grey-ish moral decisions are made, but hey! one has to do what one has to do

- how do they find the horcruxes? perhaps with the help of dark magic? through inside knowledge? a bit of both? regulus could know where is the diary/ the cup; if u know what u are looking for, nagini is an obvious answer; the ring can be found with minimal research on tom riddle; the diadem can be a lucky find (one could call it an educated guess lol)

- regulus learns that he can actually stand up for himself without his family weighing in and that his whole worldview is in fact a giant with feet of clay. severus that he can lead his life without idly surfing on the consequences of his bad decisions and can change things for the better by acting on them. that’s great. they are doing great. they are fucking terrified for their lifes.

- they end up begrudgingly respecting each other. are they friends? loaded question. perhaps.

- in this au, severus does also report the prophecy to the dark lord, then panics when the potters are brought up. sev and reg pass the information to the order one way or another and this just speeds up their research

- they kill nagini on the sly: it’s a shitshow of epic proportion, but they get away with it bc uh... who would think them able of such a feat? it’s def an highly-trained task force or something. sad that the snake got in the way though :/ (there is no more horcrux, the dark lord is mortal once more)

- who kills voldemort? neither of them. it would be cool, but no. the obvious choice would rather be dumbledore, and why not, in an impressive duel for the ages. personally i would prefer someone from the order, why not one of the youngsters: sirius? remus (a fucking win for the werewolves if it’s the case)? if we are only in 80, why not a peter who has not yet turned traitor lmao? if it’s one of them it’s just totally anti-climatic

- hell yeah! voldemort is trully, trully dead! the one who killed him is hailed as an hero and everybody lived happily ever after! severus and regulus will never have to speak to each other again!

- no.

- the hunt for the death-eaters begins: names are being dropped left and right. regulus doesn’t even go to trial bc he throws money at his problems; severus is not so lucky and gets rounded up in the most stupid way possible, also he thinks he deserves azkaban bc he did some shady shit and likes the martyr vibes reg, who has outgrown his suicidal tendencies: shit i need to save this punk’s ass since he won’t do it himself

- are regulus and his money enough to exonerate severus? perhaps. living with the morale high ground of having brought down the dark lord could be enough to rebuild a decent life for themselves; would they have closure? in a bittersweet way they could

- if it’s not enough, regulus being THAT desperate, he would go to the biggest bully of the playground aka dumbledore. a dumbledore ready to believe that voldemort would be coming back, until this scrawny (almost) 20 years-old goes “nah, we took care of that for you, you are welcome! also, since the whole wizarding world has a debt for us or something, could u pls bail my colleague? friend? out that would be great” albus : ... what?

- i just want a fun reveal; in the future to have regulus talking to his brother, severus to lily (at least for one good talk, i don’t ask for much), just to have that closure pls :’(

- 10 years later or something rita skeeter digs up the whole convulated story it’s glorious. nobody wants that

i don’t have anything else but it was fun to think about

[exilesblack]

black — ask me something like "person a or person b" i'll pick one and give a reason why. make it as difficult a choice as you can bffs.

uhh marlene mckinnon or lily evans (i think u like them both so<3)

oh god this is as hard as yasha asking me to pick between neil and rem

UHHHHH honestly ive sort of liked marls more. shes the type of friend whos gonna light-heartedly bully u and shares her only braincell with sirius and is livinf on afternoon naps and monsters. i love her.

[spiltscribbles]

May I please have some wolfstar height difference headcanons? I’m so sick of tall remus in all these fics I just want tall sirius 😭

JBDFIJFIFSYIGF

Omfgb!!! You are such a cinnamon sprinkled muffin Nonny😂😂 this is literally such a mood I’m screaming!!! Sirius being the taller of the duo is literally the only caveat I gave @omgcmere when she wrote me the boys in my BIRTHDAY FIC and THE FICLET she wrote me after I won our bet! bahahaha! It’s like just one of those things that really throws me when I read tge opposite kgduhg And both of those FICs are SO fucking beautiful! And I hate her and I hope she chokes on a spoiled egg!!!  

Okay so real quick, general disclaimer! If you prefer Remus as being the taller of them like in the movies, that is the bees knees! You do you and thrive icon! The point of Fandom is to enjoy yourself and live it up babey! Only thing I absolutely can not stand is when folks make Sirius like the same height or around the same height as fucking Peter, when canonically in the books Harry describes Sirius’s appearance as really tall and really hot, lmfao that’s about it. (Bless our bisexual king!😌😌😌)😌 And we won’t even touch how when folks make him like tiny they also just bring along this vaguely uncomfortable characterization of him being super feminized and such, but I’m a cis woman, and even if I’m pan I don’t have the right to talk on that. But chow anyways…

Height Difference Headcanons!! 

(If I repeat anything that anyone else has said please clock me so I can give proper credit!)

Okay like first off, I remember reading something by the gloriously talented @goodboylupin about Remus and Lily occasionally sharing tops and I absolutely love it! Because I think they’re both probably built pretty lithe, and I raise her HC  that there is a pair of leggings that neither of them knows actually who exactly bought them, but they steal it from one another constantly and fight over it so savagely  becs damn it makes their asses look like a bubble butt dream! 

Plot twist, the leggings originally belonged to James for him to practice quidditch during the autumn but like he does not want to get into that hassle RIP

And on this same vein! Imagine Remus borrowing Sirius’s like favorite Velvet Underground or Lead Zeppelin shirt that he got from his first Muggle concert that Remus took him on for his fifteenth birthday, sneaking him out Hogwarts when they were still only just friends! And imagine Sirius’s thirsty ass when they finally get their own place after school and Remus is just puttering around the apartment in that and his pants and nothing else, and sometimes it kind of slips to show a good amount of collarbone because Sirius Black was a beater damn it! And just they never get anything done before noon tbh flkasdjglhasodgi

I also HC Remus and James being like the same height, so about 5’10 compared to Sirius’s 6/1, so they each get fucking irritated when Sirius hides things on a particularly heigh shelf just to be a bastard, and like Peter is just sitting their, fully exasperated because his short ass has mastered the levitation charm to grab things out of his reach since he was like twelve. (JFC a single braincell between these pricks when they’re together!)

I know this doesn’t necessarily have to do with height, but sometimes I think of Remus being badgered by James to fill in for their seeker for their match against Slytherin because their typical one  is out with dragon pocks, and his little, agile ass breaks a record for quickest win!!!

Okay picture that this is a happy AU without Voldy and Sirius, drunk off his arse, insisting to carry Remus bridal style through the threshold of their flat after James and Lily’s wedding! And like somehow that leads to their own proposal because they are fucking dorks!!!

Okay also  imagine when Sirius is having like a rough night thinking about his family, (which I have very, very specific headcanons about) and Remus being the big spoon for a change, which is just him curling around Sirius like a fucking koala bear bahahaha 

Okay this is weird becs I is a short fuck myself, but I can’t think of anything else to add rn, but YES YES YES! Tall Sirius rights! Bahahaha

~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist~ ~Send Me A Prompt/Chat With Me💜🥺

[amixedwitch]

Chaos Incarnate - Harry Potter 

(Non-Spoiler) Facts about this version of Harry: 

Harry is a Converse kid. I don’t make the rules. 

Harry got them as hand me downs from Dudley (they’re kinda worn out). He only got them because they were too small four Dudley and luckily Harry was able to fit into them (for now). Did Dudley throw a fit about this? Absolutely. 

He wears them at the first off-class opportunity. The only reason why he doesn’t wear them to class is because he doesn’t feel like losing House points because Gryffindor pride. 

In this version of things, Harry is still a Parseltongue after the self-horcrux is destroyed. 

I’m also leaning in on his sass, attitude, awkwardness, stubbornness, and recklessness in this version of things.

He is the youngest out of his friend group (Hermione, Chara, Ron, Neville) and they never let him forget it. 

His slow burn love interest is Luna Lovegood.

Chara Vandever is one of Harry’s best friends. Wholesome and platonic vibes. 

Chara and Harry are either the epitome of “great minds think alike” OR “shares one braincell between them”. There is no middle-ground. 

They enable each other’s reckless rule-breaking behaviour (and blindly defend each other). 

She enjoys the adventures that comes with being his friend and he enjoys her company. 

She uses her aristocratic background along with her knowledge of socio-politics and history to aid Harry with his concerns about Sirius Black.

Harry legitimately thought that Chara was a princess (like the ones from the Muggle fairytales). She often reminded him of Snow White. 

Everything about her (her wardrobe, language, behaviour, kindness, affinity for animals, etc.) had him CONVINCED...

Draco did not help. 

...That is until right after the Troll incident. 

Here is a short passage I wrote about the last fact (I couldn’t help it ahaha): 

“Are you alright... your Highness?” asks Harry. Ron and Hermione shoot him a bewildered expression. Chara furrows her eyebrows.

“I beg your pardon?” Chara softly asks. 

Harry’s cheeks emit a pink glow. “I’m sorry... Did I use the wrong title? I... I never spoke to a princess before... or any royalty really...” he innocently explains. 

Hermione stares at him blankly while Ron begins to snicker at him. Chara breaks out into a warm smile. “Oh... You may still address me by my name... but I am not a princess.” 

Harry’s emerald eyes widens in both shock and embarrassment “Oh... but... Malfoy said -” 

“Malfoy was messing with you, mate,” interrupts Ron. The perceived princess rolls her eyes in vexation. 

���Draco is merely covetous of my attention and is unable to bear that I have chosen to endow my benevolence onto you three,” Chara begrudgingly states. Harry nods despite his inability to understand most of her sentence. 

“Chara, I’ve no idea what you’ve just said.” confesses Ron. 

“She said that Draco is jealous that she likes us more than him.” confidently translates Hermione, who has spent enough time around her friend to understand her. Her intelligence and ownership of a dictionary has also proven helpful. 

Chara gently pats Harry on the shoulder as his face grows pinker. “You needn’t feel ashamed. I’m quite flattered that you’ve held me in such high regard.” 

Harry lets out an awkward laugh. “Chara?” he asks as he grows comfortable saying her name. 

“Yes Harry?” she responds.

“You are unharmed, right?” he asks.

“Yes... I believe so...” she says with a continuous smile which quells the flush on her new friend’s face.  

Thoughts? Reactions? Send me an ask (or multiple)!

Tagging: @thusatlas​ @ilguna​ @neenieweenie​ @cedwardcullen​ @ceruleanwhore​  @daisiesandcookies​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @haracelovestruck​ @with-love-anu​ @awritingtree

[wzrd-wheezes]

your wish is my command 🫡

what do you think of established relationship sirius black x fem!reader edging + desperate banging (maybe overstimulation done by who u choose to be the one that snaps first as a sort of “punishment” even tho they’re both in this together 💀)

sirius and reader share the same braincells and are in a very lovey-dovey relationship but one day they feel bored and want to try adding a little ✨spice✨ into their relationship, so they come up with this plan to shake things up a bit: they get dressed up to look their best and go to a club/pub/etc where they flirt with other people while looking at each other till one of them snaps and drags the other to a bathroom or another secluded place and desperately go at it with each other

you can add or remove anything you like <3 i hope this gives you some inspiration to write what you want :)

Hey! Thank you so much for sending in this request. I bloody loved writing this. Sorry for taking a little while to get around to it!!

I hope you dont mind but i've posted it as a seperate post as i really hate how tumblr formats longer ask responses now!

Read here.

[remuslupinfest]

Live Laugh Love: Werewolf Edition

TITLE: Live Laugh Love: Werewolf Edition SUMMARY:Harry and Remus have a thing together, loath though Remus is to admit it. Then everything changes when Draco Malfoy shows up with a child named Teddy in tow. Chaos, hilarity, romance, sexytimes, introspection, and guacamole ensue. RATING: E WORD COUNT: 13200 PAIRING: Remus Lupin/Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter ADDITIONAL TAGS: Romance, Comedy, Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Polyamory, Background Relationships: Background Bill Weasley/Fleur Delacour/Nymphadora Tonks, Genderfluid Nymphadora Tonks, Past Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Past Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Chaotic Draco Malfoy, Werewolf Draco Malfoy, Sub Harry Potter, a little bit, lots of therapy, guacamole, I loved writing that scene so it deserves a tag of its own, Banter, Wordplay, All three of them share one collective braincell, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence READ IT ON AO3: Live Laugh Love: Werewolf Edition

[andromedaa-tonks]

sirius black

omg ok here we go

how i feel about this character:

MAX YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I CRY WHEN MAKING GIFS OF HIS FACE.

all the people i ship romantically with this character:

lupin, obviously. wolfstar, bitch. they’re literally the moon and the stars. is this not canon already? 

my non-romantic OTP for this character: 

okay, i have a few answers for this 

first is james. we know the two were the best of friends and honestly? i want a marauders spin-off series. i wish i knew more about their friendship. sirius was james’s best man. i love that. tell me more.

second, he and harry make me cry. according to dumbledore at the end of Order of the Phoenix, the person sirius cared about most in the world was harry, and that piece of information is enough to make me BAWL. more on this later. 

third, his FAVORITE COUSIN AND WHO MY BLOG IS NAMED AFTER, ADROMEDA FUCKING BLACK TONKS. they probably sat together at family gatherings and shat on their prejudiced family members. they were the cool cousins who called out their racist cousins at the table. they shared a braincell. they were besties and i love it. 

my unpopular opinion about this character

sirius had done nothing wrong in his life, ever.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish peter fucking pettigrew didnt fucking escape at the end of prisoner of fucking azkaban so that sirius could be a free fucking man and live a happy fucking life with his godson harry fucking potter and he could’ve been harrys fucking cool ass fucking mentor and they have so much fucking fun together. sirius could’ve been so happy with his fucking best friend’s fucking son and that makes me fucking emotional. im typing this so FUCKING AGGRESSIVELY 

thank you for your time

send me a character to break down!

[idhrenniel]

Engorgio! | Sirius Black

➴ Summary: Sirius is one of the most talented wizards she’s ever met, he’s also the dumbest teenager she’s ever met.

➴ Pairing: Sirius Black / fem!reader (3rd POV).

➴ Warnings: Sexual implications at the end, nothing specific. Language.

➴ Wordcount: 1.4K

➴ Tagged: @charmedevans @angelaiswriting

➴ Author Note: I’m moving all stories to this new blog, hope you still enjoy them.

“Listen, it seemed like a good idea. I mean, it’s a charm made to make things bigger. No one could have known it would go so wrong,” Sirius defended himself.

To her disappointment, Remus caught her before she could smack him. “Someone with half a brain would’ve known. A shrimp would’ve known, dumbass!”

As Sirius whined, she turned around with an exasperated huff. A part of her was so mad that she wanted to punch something -or them, if possible, but the other side was worried sick and hoped that Professor Flitwick would arrive soon.

The engorgio charm was designated to make inanimate objects or even food bigger than their actual size; it was a cool trick to use during a feast or get more butterbeer for less gold. It was a safe, non-harming charm. But all magic had risks if used wrong, and using it on their dicks was, without one single doubt, a wrong use of it.

So, three idiots friends and a too responsible during exams one later, The Marauders were at the hospital wing, with their dicks growing and in pain. If she hadn’t loved Sirius so much, she would have laughed her ass off. Perhaps she would still, once the situation was fixed.

“(Y/N)”, Sirius called. She ignored him, but he kept calling her name in a soft voice and she couldn’t help but oblige and turn around, approaching him. “Don’t be worried, please. I know it was a stupid thing to do, but it is done. It won’t ever happen again, I promise.”

She touched his cheek. “You don’t believe a single word of that, Black. And I know it.”

He smiled and she was thankful that Remus wasn’t able to catch her before she smacked his head that time. Although Sirius whined, she knew it was impossible he had felt the hit. One, because she didn’t use the force she wanted to and two because the situation that was going on between his legs was too painful for his brain to function.

“What in Merlin’s name happened here?” Professor Flitwick spoke as the doors opened and he, alongside Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore walked in.

James and Sirius looked at each other, their faces even paler than before. McGonagall was going to give them the worst punishment she could think of because of this one.

“Two assholes,” she said, pointing to James and Sirius, “had the idea of using the enlarging charm on their dicks, and the third asshole,” this time she pointed to Peter, “followed them.”

Flitwick turned to Remus. “And Mr. Lupin?”

“Mr. Lupin let them do it because it’s exams period and he has better things to do than to go around making sure these idiots don’t waste their shared braincell.”

Remus nodded at her answer, while Sirius, James and Peter complained.

Professor McGonagall tried to hold her laugh, but when Professor Flitwick started laughing, it was impossible to hold back. Even she let out a soft, long laugh. In the distance, she heard Sirius call her out on it, but she didn’t care at all if he was offended. Not in that moment. He had done something stupid and she had worried about it since she found out, it was good to let out for a moment and see the comical side of the situation. She did hope his dick wouldn’t explode, though. It would be a greater loss for her than for him.

Sighing, she wiped off a tear and straightened her back, walked up to Sirius and sat besides him. He was in such pain he couldn’t focus, his hand tried to reach her but it missed. She, so he wouldn’t feel alone, grabbed it with all the strength she could muster.

Idiot, she thought. He was going to end up hurt for real if he continued down that path. Sirius and James didn’t think things through when doing a prank. It still escaped her how the two of them could be so intelligent and so stupid at the same time.

Professor Flitwick took a breath and moved over where Peter was. It seemed he was in more pain than the rest, but in her opinion he was just scared. Sirius and James, although it had to be painful for them too, knew nothing was going to happen. But Peter was ever the soft spoken, scared little kid. Helping him first seemed obvious. Also, it had been Padfoot and Prong’s idea. Torturing them a little longer wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Finite Incantatem!”

Professor Flitwick moved from Peter to James, and then to Sirius. She guessed it was done, but all three of them were still in pain and it seemed their penises weren’t going down.

“It’s going to take a few hours for it to go down. I have stopped the spell to stop the growing. Drink this potion,” Flitwick motioned to them as Madam Pomfrey handled them a cup. “It has a sour taste, I must warn. But drink all of it to recover. It’s better to spend the night here, just in case something happens.”

Professor McGonagall thanked Professor Flitwick for his help and he left.

She had to help Sirius drink the potion. For the look on their faces, it tasted like hell, and hell was what all three of them deserved. Behind her, Remus was chuckling.

“Ten points from Gryffindor.” McGonagall spoke.

Remus turned around to complain, but she was quick to shut him up. “Your friends could’ve of died, Mr. Lupin. I believed them smarter than this. And as comical as the situation might be for them, or for the rest of us, it was a misuse of magic in non-academic hours. I should take more than ten points, but given their state, that it punishment enough. Rest now.”

She and Remus watched McGonagall leave, upset for the points but knowing it wouldn’t be too difficult for them to earn them back.

Headmaster Dumbledore let out a soft sigh and spoke at last: “Mr.Lupin, there isn’t much to do here. Return to the Common Room and keep studying.”

Remus looked at her and she nodded, then he said goodbye to his friends and left. Soon after, Dumbledore left as well. She didn’t, though. Had decided to spend the night with them.

And when night came, and James and Peter were deep asleep, she smacked Sirius in the chest. Not harsh, though. Just enough so that he’d know she was still upset.

“I apologized. What more can I do?”

“You can not be an idiot.” She sighed, looked up to him. “I don’t understand. You are one of the smartest wizards I know, talent aside. Yet at the same time, you’re the dumbest person I have ever known. How’s that possible?”

Sirius chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment, I guess?” She heard him sigh. “Just because I am a smart wizard doesn’t mind I don’t get to be a stupid teenager. I make mistakes, I have fun because of them. Yes, I fucked up on this one, but it was bound to happen some time.”

“Yes, should’ve see it coming, huh?” She laughed with him. “Just be careful next time, I don’t want that dick to explode without having impregnated me first. I’d be devastated.”

“Well, we can start working on it now. James and Peter are asleep…”

“Don’t even think about it, Mr. Black.” Madam Pomfrey interrupted. Where she had come from she didn’t know, but she almost had a heart attack. “The potion should’ve made effect by morning, but it’s going to be at least two months until you can… normally. Any intercouse before that could cause severe damaging and pain. Now, go to sleep. This is a public place.”

Sirius swallowed the knot on his throat as he watched her leave. “Two months?”

“No,” she scolded. “At least, two months. You do something stupid near that dick again, and I swear on Merlin this pain would be nothing compared to what I will do. Understood?” He just nodded, scared. “Stupid. Enlarging his dick, as if he needs it.”

Outside the hospital’s door, Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall shared a laugh.

“I thought you were going to give him detention for a year.” Madam Pomfrey confessed.

“Oh, I was going to,” McGonagall nodded. “But I thought this would be a greater punishment. At least to Sirius. The other two, I’ll come up with something. Goodnight, Poppy.”

“Goodnight, Professor McGonagall.”

[oldidhrenniel]

Engorgio! // Sirius Black

➴ Summary: Sirius Black may be a smart, talented wizard, but he is also a stupid, reckless teenager.

➴ Pairing: Sirius Black / Reader (3rd Pov).

➴ Warnings: Mentions of sex, bad language.

➴ Wordcount: 1408.

➴ Tagging: @angelaiswriting @charmedevans

“Listen, it seemed like a good idea. I mean, it’s a charm made to make things bigger. No one could have known it would go so wrong,” Sirius defended himself.

To her disappointment, Remus caught her before she could smack him. “Someone with half a brain would’ve known. A shrimp would’ve known, dumbass!”

As Sirius whined, she turned around with an exasperated huff. A part of her was so mad that she wanted to punch something -or them, if possible, but the other side was worried sick and hoped that Professor Flitwick would arrive soon.

The engorgio charm was designated to make inanimate objects or even food bigger than their actual size; it was a cool trick to use during a feast or get more butterbeer for less gold. It was a safe, non-harming charm. But all magic had risks if used wrong, and using it on their dicks was, without one single doubt, a wrong use of it.

So, three idiots friends and a too responsible during exams one later, The Marauders were at the hospital wing, with their dicks growing and in pain. If she hadn’t loved Sirius so much, she would have laughed her ass off. Perhaps she would still, once the situation was fixed.

“(Y/N)”, Sirius called. She ignored him, but he kept calling her name in a soft voice and she couldn’t help but oblige and turn around, approaching him. “Don’t be worried, please. I know it was a stupid thing to do, but it is done. It won’t ever happen again, I promise.”

She touched his cheek. “You don’t believe a single word of that, Black. And I know it.”

He smiled and she was thankful that Remus wasn’t able to catch her before she smacked his head that time. Although Sirius whined, she knew it was impossible he had felt the hit. One, because she didn’t use the force she wanted to and two because the situation that was going on between his legs was too painful for his brain to function.

“What in Merlin’s name happened here?” Professor Flitwick spoke as the doors opened and he, alongside Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore walked in.

James and Sirius looked at each other, their faces even paler than before. McGonagall was going to give them the worst punishment she could think of because of this one.

“Two assholes,” she said, pointing to James and Sirius, “had the idea of using the enlarging charm on their dicks, and the third asshole,” this time she pointed to Peter, “followed them.”

Flitwick turned to Remus. “And Mr. Lupin?”

“Mr. Lupin let them do it because it’s exams period and he has better things to do than to go around making sure these idiots don’t waste their shared braincell.”

Remus nodded at her answer, while Sirius, James and Peter complained.

Professor McGonagall tried to hold her laugh, but when Professor Flitwick started laughing, it was impossible to hold back. Even she let out a soft, long laugh. In the distance, she heard Sirius call her out on it, but she didn't care at all if he was offended. Not in that moment. He had done something stupid and she had worried about it since she found out, it was good to let out for a moment and see the comical side of the situation. She did hope his dick wouldn't explode, though. It would be a greater loss for her than for him.

Sighing, she wiped off a tear and straightened her back, walked up to Sirius and sat besides him. He was in such pain he couldn’t focus, his hand tried to reach her but it missed. She, so he wouldn’t feel alone, grabbed it with all the strength she could muster.

Idiot, she thought. He was going to end up hurt for real if he continued down that path. Sirius and James didn’t think things through when doing a prank. It still escaped her how the two of them could be so intelligent and so stupid at the same time.

Professor Flitwick took a breath and moved over where Peter was. It seemed he was in more pain than the rest, but in her opinion he was just scared. Sirius and James, although it had to be painful for them too, knew nothing was going to happen. But Peter was ever the soft spoken, scared little kid. Helping him first seemed obvious. Also, it had been Padfoot and Prong’s idea. Torturing them a little longer wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Finite Incantatem!”

Professor Flitwick moved from Peter to James, and then to Sirius. She guessed it was done, but all three of them were still in pain and it seemed their penises weren’t going down.

“It’s going to take a few hours for it to go down. I have stopped the spell to stop the growing. Drink this potion,” Flitwick motioned to them as Madam Pomfrey handled them a cup. “It has a sour taste, I must warn. But drink all of it to recover. It’s better to spend the night here, just in case something happens.”

Professor McGonagall thanked Professor Flitwick for his help and he left.

She had to help Sirius drink the potion. For the look on their faces, it tasted like hell, and hell was what all three of them deserved. Behind her, Remus was chuckling.

“Ten points from Gryffindor.” McGonagall spoke.

Remus turned around to complain, but she was quick to shut him up. “Your friends could’ve of died, Mr. Lupin. I believed them smarter than this. And as comical as the situation might be for them, or for the rest of us, it was a misuse of magic in non-academic hours. I should take more than ten points, but given their state, that it punishment enough. Rest now.”

She and Remus watched McGonagall leave, upset for the points but knowing it wouldn’t be too difficult for them to earn them back.

Headmaster Dumbledore let out a soft sigh and spoke at last: “Mr.Lupin, there isn’t much to do here. Return to the Common Room and keep studying.”

Remus looked at her and she nodded, then he said goodbye to his friends and left. Soon after, Dumbledore left as well. She didn’t, though. Had decided to spend the night with them.

And when night came, and James and Peter were deep asleep, she smacked Sirius in the chest. Not harsh, though. Just enough so that he’d know she was still upset.

“I apologized. What more can I do?”

“You can not be an idiot.” She sighed, looked up to him. “I don’t understand. You are one of the smartest wizards I know, talent aside. Yet at the same time, you’re the dumbest person I have ever known. How’s that possible?”

Sirius chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment, I guess?” She heard him sigh. “Just because I am a smart wizard doesn’t mind I don’t get to be a stupid teenager. I make mistakes, I have fun because of them. Yes, I fucked up on this one, but it was bound to happen some time.”

“Yes, should’ve see it coming, huh?” She laughed with him. “Just be careful next time, I don’t want that dick to explode without having impregnated me first. I’d be devastated.”

“Well, we can start working on it now. James and Peter are asleep…”

“Don’t even think about it, Mr. Black.” Madam Pomfrey interrupted. Where she had come from she didn’t know, but she almost had a heart attack. “The potion should’ve made effect by morning, but it’s going to be at least two months until you can… normally. Any intercouse before that could cause severe damaging and pain. Now, go to sleep. This is a public place.”

Sirius swallowed the knot on his throat as he watched her leave. “Two months?”

“No,” she scolded. “At least, two months. You do something stupid near that dick again, and I swear on Merlin this pain would be nothing compared to what I will do. Understood?” He just nodded, scared. “Stupid. Enlarging his dick, as if he needs it.”

Outside the hospital’s door, Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall shared a laugh.

“I thought you were going to give him detention for a year.” Madam Pomfrey confessed.

“Oh, I was going to,” McGonagall nodded. “But I thought this would be a greater punishment. At least to Sirius. The other two, I’ll come up with something. Goodnight, Poppy.”

“Goodnight, Professor McGonagall.”