#sirius and barty flirting/hooking up is regulus' biggest fear

[knockoff-conlon]

"stop being an idiot," regulus huffs. "and no hitting on barty when he gets here, okay?" sirius rolls his eyes. "don't roll your eyes, you've hit on every one of my friends. despite the fact that evan is dating lily and dorcas is a woman, a lesbian, and in love with marlene."

"what was the issue with me hitting on pandora then?" sirius asks.

"you're gay and she's a woman?"

"i can't explore my sexuality now, then?"

"shut up."

"i could turn dorcas. i put out more than marlene."

"we both know that's not true."

"yeah, actually, marlene is a borderline sex addict." the doorbell rings. "oh my god- barty!"

"don't!" regulus shouts, getting up to get the door. sirius grins, stretching his legs into regulus' old spot on the couch. regulus returns with some guy who is fucking hot as shit.

"oh, are you barty?" sirius asks. barty grins. he's got piercings in his nose, septum, eyebrow, and ears from what he can see. he also has those snake bite piercings in his lip. the tips of his hair are dyed bright green. and he has tattoos running from his neck to his hips.

"if you want me to be." his tank top is cropped and ripped in most places. his jeans are set low enough for the tattoos riding up his hips to be on full display and are ripped too. his converse are all scuffed and have drawings on the sides.

"barty, don't flirt with my brother."

"don't have such a hot brother then, reggie."

"ugh- stop being gross." sirius grins.

"it's cool, reg. i'll leave." he jumps up, heading out of the room, staring over his shoulder at barty. barty stares back, grinning.

"sirius, barty- stop," regulus snaps.

"how do you do that?" sirius shouts back. "go fuck yourself."