#sir kid starver

[scavengedluxury]

[convertgrapeling]

"get the Tories out!!!"

there isn't any voting the Tories out. voting is over. time to start trashing stuff.

[yonderghostshistories]

not @assortedantics on the Monty Python Discord Server a while ago saying that (iirc that is) British actor Darren Boyd is like if he were a sexier version of Current British Prime Minister Sir Kid Starver Keir Starmer cuz they have similar cheekbones lmao

Ngl….at least Darren Boyd is more attractive than Kid Starver cuz Kid Starver is like a wet piece of ham that kinda tastes “eehhh” compared to Darren “5 Star ⭐ Banquet” Boyd lol

[woolfmalice]

the two child benefit is a stain on this country. everyone who abstained or voted to keep it, especially those on the “left” should never rest easy again.

[mindful-things]

The groan I let out when I saw this at the top of the BBC app could be heard for miles.

Can someone genuinely tell me what Labour are actually offering at this point?

Because it looks like it’s just to change the colour of party in government.

[northirish]

I should get a bayonet. I want a bayonet

[jayeltontoro]

Shocking piece of shit just went down in the UK parliament.

SNP putting forward a motion for immediate ceasefire in Gaza & cessation of arms sales & delivery to Israel.

Conservative and labour parties colluding with the speaker of the house to force a change to the motion that words the call to allow the ceasefire to be conditional on Israel's judgement as to whether or not they think Hamas is going to abide by it & of course nothing about the arms exports, followed by the government stating that in allowing this change they will ignore it if it passes.

For those that aren't that familiar with uk politics, basically this is the two big English parties working to silence SNP voice & allow genocide in Palestine to proceed without UK actually having to call for a ceasefire.

Follow the money.

Prime minister 'richie rich' Sunak's family has a shit load of money in Israel.

Opposition leader sir Kid Starver also known as sir back stabber, having colluded in the smearing of former labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to sabotage the last election, through his office has been the recipient of at least 285,000 that we know of.

UK politics as corrupt as fuck. The thing that's gone on the back burner is the call for ceasefire in Gaza.

I'm hoping this shit is going to blow up in their faces.

If you're in Scotland vote for independence. If you are in England vote green.

These fascists need to be out of office.

[maladapted-druid]

"That's where l'm going to put my focus - rather than what will end up being very, very long endless discussions about reparations," he said. "Of course slavery is abhorrent to everybody; the trade and the practice, there's no question about that. But think from my point of view.. I'd rather roll up my sleeves and work... on the current future-facing challenges."

That's Sir Kid-Starver refusing to discuss reparations for slavery at the Commonwealth summit, I think the "very, very long endless discussions" is very telling, they don't have to be either of those things but clearly this government has no interest in engaging with the subject honestly or in good faith. The rest of the article even has various government members decrying "demands" and "we do not pay reparations."

[jayeltontoro]

Starmer is the billionaire approved genocide facilitating PM.

When the billionaire press, that makes Attila the Hun out to be leftist, endorses and backs a politician it is because said politico is bought and paid for.

Remember Starmer already had questionable 'lets not prosecute this rich sexual abuser' decisions in his role as prosecutor.

His interest is his own success, and his pet hates.

Mr. Le artiste - Steve Bell - nailed him with the character Keeves.

can someone actually legitimately explain to me in what way(s) Labour is actually better than the Tories on trans rights? cuz it kinda just seems like Kier Starmer is a grifter with no real beliefs who is 1000% down to throw trans ppl under the bus the instant he thinks he can gain even a modicum of support from people far outside his main constituency by doing so. i mean labour is/was courting JK rowling who literally got to dictate the terms of their meeting by making labour first meet with a bunch of her personally vetted nazi org friends all so that he can bend the knee and give her "assurances about women's rights"

but like... shes never gonna support ur transphobia over the more right-wing transphobia cuz if she was she wouldn't be cavorting with the most nazi elements of the terf movement and would be more like "oh these guys have some points about women's rights but i don't much care for their opinions on jews"

and all of this unnecessary pandering to the far-right... for what? they were all but mathematically guaranteed to win the elections anyways. so the only possible explanation left, especially considering how Starmer has flip-flopped on the issue several times, is that he has no real beliefs and will do anything for perceived political expediency even if it means being in lock step with the terf-nazi coalition movement.

so as he now moves to completely remove puberty blockers, can literally anyone more familiar with UK politics pls pls pls tell me what im missing? please tell me im wrong and im just being a typical uninformed america-centric american. cuz i really would prefer to be wrong than have Labour be actually literally as bad or worse than the Tories on trans rights, but i don't think i am

[scavengedluxury]

[convertgrapeling]

keir starmer's dad was "a toolmaker" in the same way that margaret thatcher's dad was "a greengrocer." it's like if i owned a chain of restaurants but called myself a bartender cos i serve a few drinks now and then.

[txttletale]

sir kid starver is going to secure 15 more years of tory rule lol (x)

[jayeltontoro]

Sir Kid Starver shows how much he loves a chance to starve kids

The Establishment (the British-Imperial-Colonial Wealth Class) approved continuity Tory. Blessed by the right wing media Cartel.

He's the front man for the new wave of 'make a billionaire salivate' austerity.

Happy to collude with the Tories and coerce the Speaker to shut down a call for a ceasefire in Gaza.

Has the man never heard of Keynes??? Has the man never thought of some basic application of the tax law??

This is not a labour movement.

This is an authoritarian with a questionable past ( the prosecutor who says 'rape's OK if your rich').

If you are in the UK now is a good time to start making your MP work to shut this shit down and get back to real labour.

Labour have suspended 7 of their MPs who rebelled and voted in support of the SNP motion to scrap the two-child cap.

That's your fucking Labour Party for you. Well done to the 7 out of 410 who have a fucking spine.

And not a single Scottish Labour MP among the rebels. Fucking cowards.

[thequeensbastardenglish]

Only 7 labour mps voted to scrap the 2 child benefit cap and immediately Sir Kid Starver had them suspended. Fucking farce of a party.

[starmergeddon]

To someone who doesn't live in the UK and has only a very basic understanding of the different parties involved, pray could you provide a very brief rub-down of the election situation? Also a side question, where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up? I've been getting a lot of British politics posts on my dash and I was curious. You seem like a reliable fellow to ask :)

Btw you really don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to or if it's too much work. In that case, could you point me in the right direction for some online resources I can refer to? Thank ye very much, cheers!

for context, I recieved this ask the day after the election, and somehow managed to miss it for 3 weeks. oops.

if you don't know how British elections work, here are three youtube videos from Jay Foreman which I recommend: how elections work, how elections don't work, and the bit that isn't elected at all

very long post under the cut...

the british political parties

like the US, the UK is a two-party state. unlike the US, the UK has more than two relevant political parties. here they are, in order of seats won this year:

Labour Party (411 (63.2%) seats, with 33.7% of votes)

won this year's General Election.

led by kid starver, queer harmer Keir Starmer, namesake of this blog.

was the Big Left-Wing Party. has recently become the Big Party which Doesn't Stand for Anything, Really, Except for Winning Elections and Hurting Transgender People, due to Starmer's leadership.

oddly patriotic. wants to establish "Great British Railways" and "Great British Energy". Nobody really knows yet what they mean by this.

former leader Ed Miliband is the man in my pfp, pictured failing to eat a bacon sandwich. Some speculate that this photo was the reason he lost the election in 2015.

Conservative "Tory" Party (121 (18.6%) seats, with 23.7% of votes)

tonight's Big Loser.

led by fishy, dishy Rishi Sunak, but not for long, because they're electing a new leader on Halloween.

was the Big Right-Wing Party. is still the Big Right-Wing Party, but is now also an Embarrassment.

they were in power for 14 years until this election.

Directly responsible for this country's decline over the past... 14 years.

their colour is more of a dark blue, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Liberal Democrat Party (72 (11.1%) seats, with 12.2% of votes)

returned to its rightful place as the Third Party.

led by Sir Ed Davey, who spent the election campaign bungee jumping, playing Jenga, and paddleboarding.

is the Centrist Party that Nobody Really Cares About.

somehow is more left-wing than Labour.

Scottish National Party (SNP) (9 (1.4%) seats, with 2.5% of votes)

tonight's Medium-Sized Loser.

led by John Swinney, who was also their leader like 20 years ago.

unsurprisingly, is the Scottish Independence Party. is also more left-wing than Labour.

their colour is yellow, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Reform UK Ltd. (5 (0.8)% seats, with 14.3% of votes)

Fascist Cunts.

led by Nigel Farage.

not actually a political party, for some reason.

enough said. (for now)

Green Party (4 (0.6%) seats, with 6.7% of votes)

the one I voted for.

co-led by Carla Denyer and Adrian Ramsey.

the Actually Left-Wing Party. Their slogan is "real hope, real change" which sums it up.

Plaid Cymru (4 (0.6%) seats, with 0.7% of votes)

the SNP, but Welsh. (it's pronounced "Plad Cumry")

led by Rhun ap Iorweth. (pronounced "Rune app You're weth")

their colour is dark green, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

None of these parties run for election in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK, but not part of Great Britain. NI is an entirely different situation which I don't know about.

so what actually Happened? Now that the scene is set, I'll go through the events that transpired, from the conservative landslide in 2019 to the conservative demise in 2024.

2019

the Conservatives don't have enough MPs who want to vote for their Brexit plan, so they call a snap general election. in the UK, our elections aren't at regular intervals. ONLY the Prime Minister decides when they happen, within a 5 year limit. this is important later...!

they win a massive landslide victory, with Boris Johnson as their PM. the SNP wins 48 out of 59 seats in Scotland.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn (affectionately known as Jezza) resigns, as does LibDem leader Jo Swinson.

2020

Keir Starmer takes over as Labour leader, and is immediately very boring. Labour gets more unpopular.

Jezza is kicked out of the Labour party, as are many of his supporters, on false allegations of antisemitism.

Boris finally "gets Brexit done" (this was his slogan.) The Tories get more popular. The Brexit Party changes its name to Reform UK, but they're still considered right-wing extremists

COVID happens. Everyone rallies round the flag. The Tories get more popular.

Boris gets COVID and nearly dies.

top conservative politicians hold parties in Downing Street, breaking their own lockdown rules, but shhhh! nobody knows about that yet! these keep happening until April 2021

The NHS begins to collapse a bit more than it already had, due to Conservative underfunding. The Tories get less popular.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announces a program giving people discounts to eat out in restaurants. COVID cases spike. The Tories get less popular.

It's revealed that one of the top Tories, Dominic Cummings, broke lockdown rules by visiting family. The Tories get less popular.

End of year - Tories and Labour tied in the polls.

2021

the Queen's husband dies. She goes to his funeral, socially-distanced, alone. on the same day, more Downing Street parties are held.

not much else happens?? until December, when

people start to find out that the Tories were breaking their own rules by partying in Downing Street. Immediately, the Labour Party gains a 7% lead in the polls.

2022 - shit hits the fan

people are MAD about the lockdown parties. it's named Partygate and the police start to investigate.

Russia invades Ukraine. Boris tries to distract everyone by supporting Zelenskyy.

the police conclude their investigation. Boris Johnson becomes the first Prime Minister to have officially broken the law. as a firm punishment, he is fined.... £50. (so are Rishi Sunak, and lots of others.)

Everything gets expensive. Many people are now choosing between eating and heating their home.

Just after this happens, it's revealed that Johnson also gave promotions to a Tory who he knew had committed sexual assault. His cabinet revolts. He is forced to resign as Conservative Party leader. But because he is Prime Minister, he's the only one who can call an election, and he simply chooses not to! because he knows he'd lose!

The new Prime Minister is chosen not by the people, but by the Conservative Party members. people hate this.

Liz Truss beats Rishi Sunak in the final contest. She becomes Prime Minister.

The Queen dies.

Liz Truss crashes the economy. All hell breaks loose. The Labour Party now have a 25% lead in the polls.

The Daily Star starts a YouTube livestream - will Liz Truss leave office before this lettuce expires?

Liz Truss loses control of her MPs. She, too, is forced to resign, just 40 days after becoming PM! Because she doesn't have to call an election, she doesn't.

The lettuce won.

ONCE AGAIN it is up to the Conservative Party leadership to choose a Prime Minister... except nobody wants to be Prime Minister. Rishi Sunak becomes Prime Minister without being elected by ANYBODY

2023

not much extra happens, for a while. people are just sick and tired of the Tories

They decide it's a good idea to try and deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, because immigration is "too high".

Nicola Sturgeon gets bored of being a politician and resigns as SNP leader. Without a clear successor, the SNP destroys itself finding a new leader.

Nicola Sturgeon is also arrested on suspicion of having funnelled money out of the SNP to herself before she resigned! (she's cleared of suspicion, but the public gain a conception of the SNP being corrupt.)

Shit happens in Gaza. The Tories back Israel. Labour, having shifted massively to the right, also back Israel. People become unhappy with both of them, and still are today.

2024

A general election has to happen this year. The Tories are still 20% behind in the polls.

It's announced that the UK entered a small recession at the end of 2023.

Four asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda. They spent £700,000,000 on this.

Rishi constantly dodges questions about when the general election will be, simply saying it will come "in the second half" of the year. Most people think he means autumn.

He did not mean autumn. He calls an election for 4 July, but forgets to bring an umbrella in the process, and gets rained on.

Nigel Farage immediately takes control of Reform UK. (He's allowed to do that because it's technically a company, and as owner of said company he can do what he wants)

Reform UK surges in popularity, reaching 17% in the polls, just behind the Conservatives at 21%

Rishi leaves a D-day event halfway through to give an interview with a TV broadcaster, in which the multimillionaire claimed his childhood was hard because he didn't have Sky TV.

The Conservatives decide to cure their election woes by sending all 18-year-olds to National Service. (ie. military)

It's also revealed that many top Tories placed bets on the election being held on 4 July.

The Conservative Party loses voters to Labour on their left, and to Reform on their right.

election result analysis

where did it go wrong for the Tories? uh, everywhere.

where did it go right for Labour, though? depends who you ask...

voters decisively rejected the Conservatives, choosing either Reform, Labour, or LibDem instead.

however, they weren't enthusiastic about Labour instead. many Labour wins came about as a result of Reform splitting the right-wing vote in half.

polling suggests most people who voted Labour did so to remove the Tories from power.

Fewer people voted for Labour this year than in 2019, but they doubled their seats in Parliament. Our voting system is fucked.

The Green Party quadrupled its seat share. They have won in every seat they have targeted.

Five leftist independent MPs beat Labour in what were "safe" constituencies. One of them was Jeremy Corbyn!! What this shows is that people don't really like Labour, or that people really don't like Labour. They want something better.

The SNP is nearly wiped out in Scotland, despite getting 30% of the Scottish vote. Labour wins most seats in Scotland with 35% of the Scottish vote.

The "Party of Women" (which is literally just TERFs) got fewer votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party. Lmao.

19 people voted for Elmo in Keir Starmer's constituency.

More people voted for the Conservatives and Reform UK combined than they did for Labour. If Labour doesn't get its shit together, we could be in trouble.

what's happened since the election?

7 Labour MPs have already been kicked out of the party for voting to adopt measures to lift 1.6 million children out of poverty

pressure from Greens and independents led to Labour accepting the ICC's arrest warrant for Netanyahu and stopping some arms sales to Israel's genocide.

what happens next?

the Tories choose a new leader on Halloween. other than that? fuck knows lmao. what the 2019-2024 parliament tells us is that anything can happen. as mentioned before, we don't even know when the next election is.

where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up?

you tell me

i also realise just now, after typing all that out, that you asked for a "very brief rub-down" of what happened............. yeah my bad