#since we still can't understand him
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Love the confirmation that everyone except Zagreus can understand Charon
#which begs the question#are we zagreus#since we still can't understand him#hades game#hades 2#hades ii
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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Ghost gifts a single tiny ear loop to Soap one day. Says he noticed Soap had pierced ears. That rings keep from handling a gun or a knife properly. He doesn't make eye contact, tries to hide his face, even as he's already wearing his balaclava.
Soap blinks. Ghost has already given him gifts and only behaved that way for the very first one. He doesn't understand. The earring is very simple, but seems to be made of expensive material and not only covered with a thin leaf of gold.
"Didnae it come with another one?" he says, jokingly.
But Ghost flushes, turns his head, and lifts his mask, only enough for Soap to see the glinting of the other earring on his ear. Suddenly he understands that it's not simply a gift. Ghost favoured practicality, but he wanted to give him a ring.
He grabs his hand as it falls back down.
"Simon, what is this?" he asks softly, not daring to be hopeful just yet.
With his other hand, he reaches out to gently turn Simon's head back towards him. His cheeks and his nose are flushed, it makes the warmth of his dark eyes, generally hidden behind a sneer or a bored expression, undeniable.
He looks nervous. Johnny's heart is beating faster. Could it really be...?
"I know", Simon starts then pauses, uncertain. "I know I'm probably not what you thought you'd have, when you were younger" Soap wants to interrupt, to scoff, to protest that Simon is way better than anyone he could have hoped for, but doesn't. He never wants to cut off his love when he's barely starting to open up.
"I know that I'm not easy to be with some days, that I'm not friendly and easy going like you, like someone you'd deserved to be with." he continues, unconsciously pushing his face more into Soap's hand. "But... I love you, more than I thought I could, and I'd like... I'd like to be with you, for as long as you'd have me..."
Johnny's heart is soaring. He has no idea how to react. He'd have to get all the giddiness out first, and the moment doesn't seem appropriate for jumping around and squealing.
"Officially," Simon continues, voice quieter, out of breath. "If you want to."
A gigantic grin splits Johnny's face. All of his limbs are buzzing, he needs to stand up, to run, to explode something. But he's terrified to spook Simon so instead he just squeezes the hand he's holding rhythmically and moves his feet back and forth.
"Baby, are ye asking me tae marry ye?" Johnny says. He's pretty sure his voice is wobbly, but can't really hear it himself as the blood in his ears is louder than the rest.
Simon's eyes do something, what is visible of his face looks like he has an expression on but Johnny can't analyze it now, doesn't dare to see the hope in his eyes, the pleading in his brows.
"I... Yes, I guess I am," the love of his life says finally. "If you want to. You don't have to."
Soap can't keep himself in check any longer. He's making a high pitched noise, jumping up and down where he's seating on the bed, and throws himself at Simon.
"Of course ah fooking want tae!!!"
Simon lets out an excited giggle, swept in Johnny's mood, and tightens his arms around his lover. No, his fiancé.
This is the best day of his life. He just has to deal with this mission tomorrow, and then they can start to plan everything.
#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#ghostsoap#soapghost#and now a bit of angst as a treat :#soap goes on his mission and doesn't return - ghost immediately goes to look for him and only finds traces of a struggle#then price receives a bloody earring and instructions to give out state secrets in exchange for soap#ghost goes ballistic - price doesn't deal with terrorists but has to make them believe he does to gain some time#they need to find where they keep soap - when they eventually manage to rescue him he's in a pretty bad shape and cries when he sees ghost#he looks like he hasn't slept since he was taken and his lobe is covered in dried blood where his captors ripped the earring from it#he sobs in ghost's arms that he lost it#that ghost had given him something so precious and he wasn't able to keep it and ghost knows that it's only because he's been tortured and#sleep deprived but it still breaks his heart & he doesn't know what to do and how to make soap understand that he loves him no matter what#johnny needs a medic and fluids and sleep and stitches and a cast but he can't bring himself to let him go so he just carries him#and doesn't let him go until he absolutely has to even as soap falls asleep on the way back and even as the others look at him with a look#on their face - it doesn't matter anyway soon he'll be simon mactavish and everyone will know#as he's waiting at soap's bedside watching him sleep price comes in and gives him the earring - it's been cleaned and looks good as new#then price asks him if he's invited and after a minute of ghost looking at him with wide eyes he eventually nods#'of course' he says 'we wouldn't be anywhere without you old man'#and price gently punches him in the shoulder#'you have to stop calling me old the recruits are convinced I'm like 50'#and ghost smiles for the first time in a week - he won't stop though - not until he convinces the recruits that price is at least 60
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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Since we're on the topic of abuse and hitting kids
This is not a fact I'm proud of, but I've spanked/slapped three kids in my life, and one of the important lessons I got from that is that if you are a kid and an adult hits you, it isn't your fault because it isn't about you
I mean, the adult in question can convince themselves it is, and will often tell you that it is, but it isn't. None of those three times were really about what the kid had done or said, none.
So idk if this will be helpful to anybody but I promise, I genuinely promise, it is absolutely never, ever your fault. Never.
#Abuse#Important#And for the record if someone yells at you?#it's also more about them than about you#And yes we all agree that three slaps were three slaps too many#I wish I'd had the sense and the understanding to properly apologize to them#(bc the one i did apologize to i did in a way that still kinda blamed him for it)#but since i can't undo the past I'm trying to learn for it
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JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD
#CAMI AND DAVINA GONE IN ONE EPISODE??!?!!??#YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING FOR REAL#(davina perma died an episode later both they both died in one episode right before that)#also this season has been slacking on marcel and the ep post-davina's death kicked him up several notches#he said all the shit i take issue with about the always and forever family bs#he hit that shit out of the park#also camille's death being all about comforting klaus fucking pissed me off#it was until she was scared right at the end that it was more about her#and her last words COULD have beenthe immortality line. but then they had to have her bolster klaus again instead#at least we got others mourning her after#but davina????#those bitchass ancestors forced her boyfriend to kill her then nearly shredded her soul#and she could've been resurrected. but of course fucking family came first#she had to die screaming for mercy alone as the ancestors tried to carve her soul from fucking existence#(and though i'm mad at elijah and freya for it it makes sense for them to do it#(what pissed me off was them and klaus then telling marcel that they were justified and he should just suck it up and understand)#(like no take the consequences let the man mourn)#(freya claiming family to kol too like girl i don't know you. and this 'family' loves you more than it ever loved me)#(y'all only love me on my deathbed)#(if being family means we kill each other's partners [which happens time and time again] then fuck being in this family)#like i don't actually want the mikaelsons dead. but also i hope super vampire marcel kills you all#hope kol gets away from you people because you are not family to him. you aren't.#but mostly davina. poor fucking davina#her and kol are my bonnie and enzo - finally finding someone who will choose them not just use them#only for death at the hand of allies#davina clair was an abused teenager you all used and who justifiably hated y'all#and she deserved more than to die like this. die basically three fucking times over still helping in the end#truly have not seen a witch this blatantly used and mistreated since the bonnie bennet#davina claire#the originals
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#if you listen closely you can hear the sound of both mine and Allison's hearts breaking! <3#ok but fr: i know this is gifs. so no sound. but the WAY he DELIVERS the 'you've got a bump on your head' line makes me NUTS#it's so soft. it's so fond. it's... it's a punch in the fucking gut. he likes her *so much* but he *can't let himself have this nice#thing with her* because he's *being eaten alive by guilt he can't accept & won't let himself be happy because of it* and SHE DOESN'T KNOW!#like the thing. the thing is. when you watch SDT you're along the ride with Zach and his POV of everything. despite the obvious paranoia#& guilt warping his perspective/influencing his behavior—we can see where that's all coming from. we understand the motivations#behind the actions he takes. but ALLISON? Allison has no fucking clue what's going on! from Allison's perspective... Zach is this guy she's#known for a while (like they make a point of *telling us* in one of the earliest scenes that Zach feels weird talking about her in the#detached way they may talk abt other people in their grade they barely know—because it's *different* since he and Josh *actually know her*#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings#up Zach & Josh having had a silly handshake since 7th grade ['oh god that used to make me pee!' <- girl why would u say that to him]#so it's like... these are kids who've known each other for years!) and he's got this obvious fucking crush on her (the hallway scene where#he is. blatantly staring and she catches him for a second) and the moment she decides to actually start pursuing him because SHE'S#got a crush on HIM too... he starts pulling away and acting erratic and sending her the most mixed signals in the fucking world.#and sheee THINKSSS ITS HERRR FAULT!!!!!!!! like. listen. this scene i giffed above? this is what she's fucking talking about later#when she jokes about not wanting to 'scare him off again'. like sure she says it like a joke but... uhm. i simply think there's#a certain amount of truth to it too—because he DID leave the party visibly freaked out! and i think it'd be perfectly believable for her#to think that it was at least partially HER pushing too hard that was causing him to withdraw/pull away from her. plus she blatantly says#she thinks she's the reason Josh & Zach are fighting. like. this poor girl is on the outskirts of a tragedy she'll probably NEVER know the#details of but she's seeing firsthand the impact it's having on Zach and... blaming herself... that's so fucking heartbreaking
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not getting involved in Thee Conversation but to everyone who cannot see the catharsis and the hope and the simultaneous love and grief in the act of passing the torch in mansand vol 10 the wake....................................like. once again. skill issue. When You Love Danny Then You Will Realize.
#chatter#girl why are we STILL talking about this. it is CRAZY TO ME that people do not perceive the continuity of character#between morpheus and danny and vice versa. that is the whole POINT it's the whole POINT#why must the shift from morpheus to danny be fundamentally and unequivocally a loss! i get you're attached to Thee Character but like#THEE CHARACTER IS NOT DEAD. THIS IS WHAT HE HAD TO DO. HE LIVES IN SOME FORM AS LONG AS HE IS REMEMBERED IN STORY AND SONG#AND THAT'S CANONICAL! HE IS NOT FORGOTTEN! HE MOVES ON AND CHANGES AND FINDS HIS JOY AND HIS PURPOSE AND HIS HUMANITY AGAIN!#OMNIA MUTANTUR NIHIL INTERIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also like. git gud. i have been out here loving danny since day one. if you perceive him as a downgrade from morpheus well.#can't help you with that but get well soon babe#also also the big sweeping statements about the kinds of stories ''we'' ''need'' in this ''historical moment''...#as a happy ending enjoyer like i get it but at the same time. please understand that your tastes are not universal.
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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.havign lots of thoughts about how npcs are portrayed learning about the nature of their universe in works
#.most of the feelings were thrown onto evan since like. i dunno feels like a lot of the works like that write the npcs as fi the npcs-#.are actually people from outside the game transported into the game and have points of refrence about this whole thing and react how ''rea#.people'' would react to learning that they were inside a video game#.when really the npcs would prolly react closer to just going yea okay. since that's their world. they have no other world. that's their#.universe. and now they ave a little bit more info about their own universe#.yea they could have an existencial crisis if they knew what it means but also like#.''ooooh that means that i'm not real'' uhm. yea they are. they still are. that world is real from their perspective and continues to be#.real even after the learn about this#.from OUR perspective they aren't! but from theirs? yea! they are!#.also it9 s not like they would instantly know everything about how video games work even if they had no prior knwledge of that#.why would they try to change the fact that they're made out of lines of code#.that's like being mad and wanting to change the fact that they're made out of atoms#.except in their case it's ones and zeros in a computer#.PLUS!!!!!!!!! IN SOME CASES!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT VIDEO GAMES OR COMPUTERS ARE!!!!!!!!!!#.IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT SORT OF WORLD THE VIDEO GAME PORTRAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#.IF THE WORLD HAS COMPUTERS IN THERE THEN THEY KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE!#.IF THE WORLD IS MEDIVAL THEY WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW SHIT!#.once again pointing at evan and how we threw bunch of our feelings about this onto her#.since like he grew up in a world post combine invasion and like. technoglogy isn't really the best#.like barely anyone has any access to it other than the combine and all that jazz#.so she doesn't know what video games are. maybe has heard of what computers are#.she learned about being in a video game but to him that's the same as learning how our solar system travels through the galaxy and physics#.it's just another little detail about the world thta may explain some things. or maybe it doesn't#.when facing with her code she sees it as her dna. yea she's reading it but she deson't understand a thing in it#.maybe some fragments maybe not#.just like how everyday people wouldn't know how to interpert dna if they already haven't studied about that subject#.and when him getting corrupted. she doesn't know what happened. he just knows that something did. but she can't do anything about it#.and instead just learn how to navigate the world with more difficulties#.like how one would with a pernament injury
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turning the bizarre image of angry, vengeful 1983!bj feeding what i am almost certain is a hallucination of his child self a wedge of orange around in my head today.
#it's so strangely uncomfortable yet sweet and i can't pinpoint why.#there's a coldness in that scene and idk if it's coming from how bj interacts with him (*making* him eat the orange)#or how he imagines a hollowness in little barry from the moment he sees him. or if it's bc before we can even assume barry isn't real#we know bj is there to visit his mum and he's getting angrier and more unstable the closer he gets to his old home.#it's like. even though i don't think bj would be violent toward a child... something puts me on edge.#it's like it feigns warmth (feeding him. offering him his band badge. trying to make a connection?) but there's just emptiness. it's cold.#(barry vanishes inexplicably when bj attacks his mum btw and his mum doesn't mention him *once* so it leads me to believe he wasn't real.)#(also the comment about ghosts seems two-fold: mrs. anderson thinking bj has been dead all this time and barry being a 'ghost' in bj's head#but like. idk. that scene is so weird. the way bj interacts with what must be himself. it teeters between trying to be kind and#seeming to almost dislike/hate what he sees.#film!bj is interesting to me at that stage but i want to pick book!bj's brain more. i don't understand him much at all.#again tho. none of this *really* has any bearing on my portrayal since i'm more film-based. but still. turning it around.#wondering if there's anything to pick from it.#wondering if... bj hates his child self? probably a bit. probably... could at least learn to be gentler with himself.#hm.#out of fairy tales [ooc];#sorry putting on my clown nose again.
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Anyway I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- Ben, Gwen, Argit, and Alan could’ve made for a good team.
#ben gwen and argit also works as i've said before#i don't think ben gwen and alan would've made as good a team#i don't think he would've played off them as well where we're introduced to him#he'd need to get his footing first and i think he would struggle with that working with them#meanwhile argit i think he could play off of well and especially since for this#we would most likely be working with a more rooters-arc-esque argit?#i think that sort've argit would be better for helping alan get his feet under him than the tennysons would be#no insult to them but they tend to be strong personalities and having so much more experience than alan?#and being morally grey-ish characters treated and being declared in universe to be porally upstanding?#i think he might get overwhelmed with them and find himself struggling to really build his confidence#especially since as i've said elsewhere he's one of the most moral characters we get#being able to work off somebody who's morally grey openly and actively? who also has no heroing experience? but still has morals and cares?#('even i know you never try to change a partner' 'don't give up on him we owe him that' damn near everythign from the rooters arc-)#i think he'd have an easier time there#also you can't tell me you don't want that scene where the sheriff decides alan is gonna work for him#only instead argit snatches him from him in open refusal to allow it despite hardly knowing the kid#in what the show would probably use to show how immoral he is but could be better used as an early show of the morals he does have#and how the cops lack these basic things even this guy who sold his own mother understands
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They did the narrative threading thing again with going from the Artisanship Commission to the Alchemy Commission. They talk about new lives under new names in old flesh in the Artisanship Commission, and she mentions immediately later the Alchemy Commission, where Bailu is. What a nice lapse
#I know she isn't showing much pity for her friend here as Yanqing says but I think it's essential that she too loved him once#And that a part of her still does‚ and viceversa#This felt since the first scene like Jingliu mourning and saying farewell not just to Baiheng but to Yingxing too#And the scene in the Artisanship Commission enhanced that feeling to me#idk... She seems to be saying farewell to everyone and the group itself#A funeral of sorts for all of them and their bond#Awkwardly done‚ perhaps‚ by someone from a culture that lacks mourning rituals for the dead#I didn't get at all why we had to go through Tingyun's funeral considering that we didn't really got to know her much#and what we knew wasn't even her#It felt even more intrusive than other similar instance of 'protagonist just protagonisting' we've had in the game before#But now it's clear we had to go through that to understand better what is happening here in the context in which it's happening#and with the weight every detail carries#But I won't ramble more. This is starting to be very unrelated to the post haha#I talk too much#Traces#I guess#I want to save some of these ideas later. Perhaps with some of the screenshots I've taken#But I'm always so lazy I keep postponing everything haha#And to make things worse I should be doing an altogether different thing right now but here I am#I'm not censoring names right now I'm sorry but I can't stand that tumblr forces me to do that when I want to write things down quickly#Censoring is very annoying while writing with the phone#I'll come back later and change things in a bit. Just ignore me please if anyone sees this#I've checked and the post is not appearing in the general tag for me right now but who knows#It may appear in ten minutes from now instead I don't trust tumblr at all
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.
#honestly the liam ig post has like.... moved something in me i guess#i know it doesn't matter what i think and i'm 12h+ too late but just bc someone is not constantly online doesn't mean they don't care#i've been a fan of these dudes since like 2011 and to see that 10+ years later there's still so much love between them#and that liam thinks that highly of louis.... fuck me man#idk... i teared up this morning when i first saw it and i can't stop thinking about it#there's so much about them that we'll never know and we'll never understand but the love was real and that's all that matters#and it's still real#obviously we can't know what each of them went through but liam was so raw and so honest and i feel for him so much#may all of us have a friend like louis in our lives and may all of us be humble enough to accept that kind of friendship like liam did#idk man i'm just drunkish and i have a lot of feelings for these dudes <3
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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/707405965270614016/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride
@beatingheart-bride
“Uh-huh,” Randall grinned playfully as he leaned back in his seat, kind of enjoying this brief bit of banter between them: Here she was, commenting that maybe he should consider getting a little sleep, while she was yawning herself and refusing to do the same! Like student, like tutor, he supposed, given how she was encouraging him to get some sleep the previous night like she was, only for him to stay up all hours, doing the exact opposite of what she suggested...
He snickered a little to himself as he cradled his empty coffee mug, still smiling a little: When was the last time he’d been able to joke so easily with someone, affectionately ribbing each other for silly little matters such as these? So far, he could only think of doing so with Emily, and it made his chest feel warm-he enjoyed how at ease he felt with her, knowing he could be so...relaxed with her. She was a true friend, and he was grateful for that.
“Well, if you say so,” he continued, tone still amused as he set aside his mug for the moment, shrugging a little: He supposed he would just refresh his coffee here and a bit while she rested her feet...
In fact, he could kill two birds with one stone, as he suggested, “Well, why don’t I get you that tea? I was just about to get myself some fresh coffee before you arrived-that might help us both!”
#((absolutely! leroux strikes a great balance between fear and pity and setting erik up as a really great tragic villain))#((one that we should pity...but also one that shouldn't be taken lightly given the things he's done!))#((he *is* still a villain! he's a kidnapper; a murderer; like i don't even KNOW what all he'd be charged for!))#((again murder; kidnapping; let's see here...the chandelier drop probably also counts as property damage in addition to murder...))#((plus trespassing since no one else knows he's hangin' around five cellars below; ATTEMPTED murder in addition to full-on murder))#((and probably a lot of other stuff i'm forgetting now! at any rate erik is still a villain))#((and as bad as we feel for him and his lot in life-and leroux defidently pitied him-we just can't forget that!))#((and absolutely! randall doesn't have beef with all of humanity the way erik seems to; he understandably has a hatred))#((for the people who did him harm and a discomfort regarding the people who came to see the circus and him))#((and would point and laugh and scream at him but beyond that he doesn't have raw feelings towards his fellow man overall!))#((he understands that they're innocent and therefore not a target of his wrath!))#((and i enjoy noting the differences too-it makes this rewrite all the more fun; fleshing out phantom!randall))#((and seeing how he stacks up against erik himself!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Phantasm of the Mansion
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Once I learn the difference between me having a crush and me being (hyper)fixated on a person, it's all over
#miranda talking shit#Autism tag#I do kinda have some idea.... But its hard. I think the biggest difference is how nervous and 'diffrent' i am around them#As usual i struggle to say excatly what it is im feeling for a person. I just know at the bottom i care about them a lot#But do i have a crush or am i just fixated bc they are intresting to me? Who knows lmao#The few moments i had my doubts with fabian it was fine tbh. But my fixation with him was intense bht short-lived#Now im just like... He baby. I got an idea how he works so i am no longer obsessed#Unfortunately oliver ive still not gotten an handle on. I found him intresting from the first few months of knowing him#But after a year it just became way deeper since we started to discuss such topics. Now I'm like... I probably dont have a crush on you#I probably just really want to understand you. But who knows honestly but please talk to me more i got to ask more things#As i turned 18 and had my breaking point and then started to recover and meet a lot of new different people...#I slowly but surely got so intrested in people unlike myself. Usually unknown things scare me but something changed and since then it just#Wants me to hear more and understand as much as i can about them. Guess its my autistic brain seeing them as a mystery or a puzzle#Challenging things mentally like that really is something i love. I love to think and thoerize and wonder. I do however hate it#Like... I feel creepy about it. I know i dont feel this way intentionally but i also can't tell anyone about it without them thinking im#Weird or creepy etc. Or i guess i am scared people will think i dont care about people but just want to study them? Its more the other way#Around. I care about people and thus want to understand them? Dont enjoy it though. It feels wrong and i feel guilty :')
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