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norrisainz33 · 2 days ago
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the call pt 2 || platonic grid & gr63
summary: y/n finishes out the triple header strong after being called up to race for alpine
pairing: platonic!grid x george russell x rookie!driver!reader
fc & warnings: none and minor hate comments, bad language, and bad grammar from my end
a/n: i've never had this many people request a part 2 before so i hope y'all enjoy!! I'm going to keep her racing in the remainder of the season so keep an eye out for the rest.
part 1
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
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alpinef1team: a point in the bag for pierre and another good drive for y/n 💼
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user2: solid result for the team!!! y/n ate in her second race ever
user99: a team of losers tbh
ynuser: yay for points! let’s go pierregasly
pierregasly: we go again in brazil! points for both of us there 😉
ynuser: everyone better make sure to bet on us 🙂‍↔️
yourbff: let’s go best friend(s)!!!!
ynuser: 🫶🏻
georgerussell63: great stuff ynuser
ynuser: thanks georgie
user1: notice how he is always supporting her…. is there something here?
user2: they’ve been friends since their karting days!! if you asked me back when they were in f2 if they were tg i would’ve said yes bc they were kinda sus but now idk
user1: gonna go research the lore on their f2 days
you let out a huff as you threw your padel racket on the ground and wiped the sweat from your brow, “god dammit lance! how are you so good at this!?”
laughing lance shrugged, “maybe you and george are just really bad!”
george shook his head, “no mate that can’t be it!”
you took a long drink of your water as the pair continued to bicker. “did you both see the weather for the weekend?” you asked changing the subject so they’d stop.
“yeah, lots of rain it seems.” lance put his racket into his bag and looked up at you with concern. “have you raced in the rain before?”
you shook your head, “no not really. i mean when i was karting yes but outside of that not really.”
“blimey y/n/n,” george ran a hand through his hair. “you’ve been going over those scenarios with your team right? there’s a chance of some really heavy rain.”
“i have, i have. i’ll be ok!” you assured them both with a smile but your friends looked anything but reassured.
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user2: jesus christ you’re so hot
user4: im obsessed with you holy f
georgerussell63: green is a good color on you. tho i think mercedes blue is better
ynuser: you mean alpine blue and pink
georgerussell63: nah i’d like to see you in my colors
ynuser: oh?
georgerussell63: you heard me
francocolapinto: 👀
ynuser: and you’re coming to play with us next time yea?
francocolapinto: si bonita
yourbff: H O T
ynuser: thanks bb
ynuser: also i think george might be flirting in my dms rn?
yourbff: WHAT?!
ynuser: he said he wants to see me in his mercedes kit
yourbff: oh that’s 🤭
landonorris: you look tall here
ynuser: thanks shortie 🩷
landonorris: uncalled for
user5: thanking your parents for doing it tbh
holding in a yawn you turned to walk back to your garage after the brazilian national anthem. the 5am wake up for this ‘super sunday’ as they were calling it was catching up with you despite the butterflies swarming in your stomach. you had had the qualifying session of your life, which despite the cool confidence you played it off with in your interviews after, shocked you just as much as it shocked everyone else. you qualified in 4th. yes, you read that right, p4. something about the car came alive in the rain and you prayed it came alive again during the race but the rain was starting to pick up and it seemed like it was only going to get worse. you’d already seen several red flags in quali and would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t terrified that that was about to become you in the race.... especially with the threat of the entire field behind you, including max verstappen, wanting to push forward and push forward fast regardless of the consequences.
“y/n!” a hushed voice caught your attention. george had caught up to you and had a serious look on his face. “please be careful out there,” he pleaded.
“you too george,” you squeezed his arm lightly. “i’ll see you on the podium, yeah?"
"yeah," george winked as you turned to head into the alpine garage.
your engineer, james, handed you your helmet as he went over a few more pieces of data. he was stressing over the litany of different plans the team had put together in the very short window between quali and now. the heavy rain and your heroic lap times caused just about everything your team had prepped to be turned upside down.
“right, right i’ve got it james. plan a seems the most logical if i can keep everyone behind me.” you said as you pulled your helmet onto your head and fastened the strap.
things were about to get interesting.
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f1: the race is stopped under the red flag for a crash….. and y/n y/l/n is our new race leader! after running a surprisingly strong p4 for the first half of the race, she took the lead when those in front pitted for new tyres. y/n is the only woman in history to lead a lap in a grand prix
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user1: not them calling her performance surprising 🥴
user2: I KNOW THATS RIGHT!
user12: only gonna last a second. she can’t even compete with the likes of verstappen
alpinef1team: @ everyone behind, y/n.. can we pretty please keep it this way?
yourbff: real tears are being shed rn this is monumental
user9: god is this amazing
mercedesamgf1: we love to see this historical moment! even if we’re coming to take it back 😉
user11: literally the most amazing thing i’ve seen all day
you ripped another tear off from your helmet wishing it would make it easier to see but to your dismay, you still couldn’t see a damn thing. the rain was coming down in buckets, your inters were worn, you were fighting the car even in the straight lines to keep it on the track and worst of all, you were scared shitless. you had no moment to even be happy about your current position in p1 because you were too busy trying not to send your car into the barrier.
“max is 2 seconds behind you and gaining very quickly. gasly is 1.2 seconds behind max and leclerc is 0.9 behind pierre.” james updated you on the radio which sent you into a fit of rage.
“james for fucks sake i don’t care!!! stop giving me timing updates!! i can’t see the road so i can’t do anything about it!!!” you almost screamed. "i can't even pass half throttle!"
“rain is expected to lighten in about 10 laps,” james reported ignoring your outburst.
“10 LAPS?! how am i supposed to survive 10 laps?!?!?” as you yelled you felt the rear of your car start to slide causing you to need to quickly snap it back into place. “there is so much standing water james - i can’t keep doing this. the front straight is like a swimming pool!”
“yes you can, y/n. lock in and calm down. you only have a couple of laps left in this class of rain.”
“lock in? calm down!? and what if i crash this damn car first?!” turning off your radio you tried to take a few deep breaths while focusing on the road in front of you. you couldn’t panic - that would only make matters worse. you had to stay calm. you knew your car, you knew to deviate off the racing line to avoid the slippery curbs in specific turns, and you knew that you had to make it through whether you wanted to or not. panicking was not going to help anyone but there was little way to explain just how scary it was on track at this current moment.
another snap of significant oversteer left you breathless and near tears. “james im so serious - i need wets and even then i don’t think they’re going to be enough. there's standing water on every part of this track. i can't race like this on these tyres. please talk to fia. please we need a red flag.”
“pitting doesn’t make sense right now, you’ll come out in traffic and your race will be over.”
“i care more about making it out of this race alive than coming out in traffic.”
“understood.”
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“they couldn’t have taken any longer with that red flag could they?” you snapped as you pulled your race suit down to your hips.
“no they really couldn’t have! it was getting ridiculous out there.” pierre grabbed his water bottle, "driving couldn't have been more dangerous."
“alright you two! thats enough!" your team principal interrupted, looking very serious. "we have a real chance of keeping this double podium finish especially because george and lando pitted before this red flag and lost a lot of time," he explained. "y/n, you’re going to have to push, there’s not much chance you’ll be able to keep max behind you but we’ve got to be fast enough to keep george, charles and lando behind pierre.”
right... keep 3 of the fastest drivers on the grid behind you both.. you were going to need a real stroke of luck.
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alpinef1team: THEY DID IT!!! Y/N AND PIERRE CROSS THE LINE AS P2 AND P3! HISTORY MADE
"thats p2 y/n - great job! the entire team and i are so fcking proud of you."
"AHHH YES YESSSSSSS!!!!" you screamed into the radio, banging your hands against the steering wheel, "WE DID IT!! WE DID IT JAMES!!" the emotions hit you like a brick wall, and tears quickly began falling. "thank you all so much. thank you for this opportunity. thank you to the mechanics, to everyone back at the factory, to every single one of you. thank you for believing in me when no one else did."
"you're welcome, y/n. you deserve it. you deserve it all kid."
pierre rolled up next to you to drive the remainder of the cool down lap by your side. he waved excitedly and you waved back without hesitation - you both had achieved what felt like the impossible.
you were the first woman to ever stand up on the podium and you were the first woman to score points in formula 1, but you knew you certainly weren't going to be the last. if you would do anything with your remaining races, it would be to show the world just how much women belong in this sport.
you pulled into parc ferme and shut off your car as quickly as you could. you fumbled with your straps and when you finally got them off, pierre was standing above you with his hand held out. you smiled, grabbing his hand and allowing him to pull you out of the car. "we did it, p -" you said just loud enough for him to hear over the cheering.
"we did it, y/n/n." pierre replied and with that, you both turned and ran hand in hand to your team who was waiting with open arms to greet their heroes.
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ynuser: we did it 🩷 thank you to alpine for believing in me, thank you to pierre for being the best teammate a girl could ask for, thank you to my friends and family for supporting me through the ups and the downs and thank you to my fans -- i love you all so much
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user1: i've never shed so many tears over a race before
yourbff: i feel like a proud parent rn
ynuser: thanks for never giving up on me bestie
georgerussell63: you're a force to be reckoned with y/n. congratulations on an impressive drive! today is your day 🤍
ynuser: mark your calendars! 11/3 is national y/n day
landonorris: speechless... i am so proud of you. if someone had to be up there besides me, i'm so glad it was you 😉
ynuser: thank you lanny. only thing that would have made it better is if you were with me up there 🩷
user10: tea LOL
francisca.cgomes: i dont think i've ever been happier?? my two favorite people are on that podium?
ynuser: stop dont make me cry agAIN
pierregasly: thankful for you mon ami
ynuser: 🤍🩷
lewishamilton: being a barrier breaker is never easy y/n but you are crushing it. i am proud to race with you!
ynuser: you have no idea how much this means to me lewis
user9: thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to prove everyone wrong
user95: nothing could have prepared me for 1) them running hand and hand to their team, 2) y/n crying tears of joy on the podium and 3) gr63 picking y/n up and twirling her around in parc ferme
user2: george and y/n were so cute it was actually sickening. did you see the way he fixed her hair after putting her down
user95: and how he wiped away her tears??? yeah i saw it 🥹
user2: i want them together so bad
user10: you are going down in the history books
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thank you for reading!!! likes, feedback and reblogs are welcome!! massively appreciate all of the support on this little series. i am really enjoying it too
tag list from part 1: @yawn-zi @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @divagreymare @raizelchrysanderoctavius @ferakillia @stressed-cherry @sassyangel16 @mxdi0 @awritingtree @danielricciardoslut3 @dying-inside-but-its-classy @seasonswinter @rawr-123s-stuff @grussellsprout @belncaldern @ellelabelle @rafeyybabyy
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
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majinbangus · 3 days ago
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will johnny ever punish simon(and how) for playing too rough with you and accidentally hurt you (yk some dog just like that) or doesnt listen to reader or makes reader upset????
follow up question if simon and reader do something and it upset him how will he handle it???
im in LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE with ur guard dog simon and owner johnny reader
i hope you have a good day and win the lottery ❤️
》 18+ i'm glad you're liking my guard dog!ghost series! sorry my answer got a little long but a short way of explaining Ghost's dynamic with reader when it comes to punishments is that he's technically submitting, but he's also not really submissive ygm? he'll go through his punishments, but energy is very much this post. that's what im tryna go for at least -> more here
Accidentally hurting you, Soap can forgive. Ghost is always extremely careful not to seriously hurt you. Yes, he'll be rough and leave you sore or with bruises sometimes, but he still behaves much like the scrupulous guard dog he is, listening to your every command and taking care to protect you from real harm.
As Soap likes too remind you, Ghost is very well trained already, and it's up to you to show him that you can take care of him just as Ghost takes care of you. In fact, Soap is a little harder on you if he catches you slacking, reminding you that a dog like Ghost deserves a responsible owner willing to take care of such a diligent dog.
However, in the rare event that Ghost doesn't do his duty as your guard dog and leaves your side, Soap will get upset, but he would actually leave the punishment up to you (since you're technically Ghost's primary owner. Soap is there to teach you how to be a good owner) and act as the enforcer for whatever punishment you see fit.
So if you wanna make Ghost sleep in a dog crate for a week, Soap will buy the crate and Ghost isn't allowed on the bed. If you want to keep Ghost on a leash until you regain trust in him, Soap is gonna do some leash training with Ghost.
For more sexual punishments, Ghost will be kept in a cock cage for a while so the most he can do is mindlessly rut against you, and Soap will be the one to hold the key to his cage. He'll only unlock Ghost if you say so, but he'll also encourage you to keep Ghost locked because he's a shit he wants you to be a firm dog owner and not give in to Ghost's dog brown eyes that you've developed a soft spot for. When that happens, Ghost might bare his teeth at Soap because he knows what he's doing, but won't do much more because he knows Soap would suggest a cock gag next, that fucker-
(also if you wanna spank Ghost, Soap is will enforce that too)
But these punishments are rare and far in between. Ghost is very disciplined, so they don't happen often, but when they do, Ghost will go through them like a good boy, knowing that he messed up. He'll regain your trust and be an even better dog for you.
Now if you and Simon do something that upset Soap, (like for example, exploring a dangerous alley willingly, even though Ghost told you not to go in, but went with you anyway because you told him the 'quiet' and 'heel' command) you'll get the brunt of the punishment since 'dog behavior is a reflection of your guidance, sweets.'
Ghost won't get a harsh punishment, but he'll have to stay leashed to his crate, watching Soap give you your punishment which could range from all sorts of things, but mostly, it'll be Soap treating you like a dog- a puppy- to show you how to be a good owner.
He'll make you wear a tail plug and have you crawl on all fours. Tell you commands like 'sit pretty' or 'bow' or 'come'. You're not allowed to talk, only bark, and If you can't follow his commands, the longer the punishment will go and the more intense it'll become. Hell, if he's feeling generous, he'll unleash Ghost and make him show you how to be a good dog, letting Ghost correct your behavior. They may even tag team you, and you'll be aching for days, but the lesson will definitely stick.
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wasyago · 2 days ago
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Please more Trail's gone cold au I'm begging you I need it just pour out every thought in your brain I want to hear it
hgdhhfbd i mean, sure why not
everything plot related is in the main post, there's nothing else really to tell. but i could share random details that didn't really fit into the lore drop. again tho, it's a small au and mostly an exploration of the concept, so there's not a lot.
❄️ gem and etho are siblings, i don't think it was mentioned anywhere? blood related and all that, they both have black hair, gem just dyes hers.
❄️ behind the scenes reasons for the order of deaths. generally i picked these three to be the main cast because i suddenly realized pet crew were just dungeon master and his two winners, and that was too crazy of a concept to not do anything with? so, tango as the main guy and actual master of the dungeon had to die first, seeing how he's the cave's favorite. pearl as the main explorer and as the one to unlock all the secrets had to die second, because she had to return to the dungeon / the cave to find out the truth, and she conquered it but never actually got out. and etho had to survive, because he's the "proper" winner and the one who actually escaped the dungeon with treasures.
❄️ lore reasons for the order of infection. tango you already know, but pearl and etho went in at the same time so in theory they had to start experiencing the effects together. but because etho was wearing a mask it did lessen the amount of sculk he inhaled, slowing down the process. wear masks kids!
and, well, you did say you wanted to hear every thought so. i really like the plot point of them leaving tango to die, so im gonna ramble a little about it. even just, the difference in their views on the situation is so satisfying to me. because tango had no idea something scary was happening to him! and for pearl and etho it was a life or death situation. and just-- they were talking about leaving tango and tango obviously, obviously, protested, because what the actual hell??? yes okay he's ill and a burden, but don't leave an ill guy to freeze to death in a cave, what is wrong with them????? or, okay, what is wrong with etho, pearl was against the idea. but, straight up tango did not plan for it to end this way, he had his whole life ahead of him and so many things ha still wanted to do! of course he cried when they left, what else was he supposed to do? thank etho for his awesome decision? be all cool and stoic and sacrifice himself? hell no, he didn't want to die, he never asked for this.
he did die tho, so. whomp whomp 🎺... i imagine he passed before pearl and etho even reached the stairs, so at least he didn't suffer for long. if he had a breakdown about being left alone he probably hyperventilated and inhaled like a ton more sculk, so that killed him even faster. must've sucked tho...
and then pearl, god, pearl.... she didn't encounter any dangers on the way back, since she wasn't trying to escape and the cave had no reason to be hostile towards her. but seeing how she was at the last stage before turning... she probably didn't get to tango before collapsing... not dying just yet, but too feverish and too weak to walk. but if tango was already back, he could very much go and find her. can you imagine the pure horror of drowning in your regrets as you slowly die and then having your supposedly already dead friend appear in front of you all cheery and oh so wrong. i dont know how much of tango is left in that thing, but the image of him sitting by pearl and holding her until she dies is so-- its haunting but it's sweet. and then there's still enough time to catch up with etho.
actually, gahhhh, all three pet povs are their own unique horror story and it's so good.
the horror of having to go through this terrifying experience, and then being the only survivor, knowing full well that the only reason you lived is because you left your friends to die, and there's no way of fixing it now.
the horror of everything falling apart around you because of miscommunication, and then the one time you decide to do it right you end up regretting every single decision and witnessing the direct result of your mistakes come for you.
the horror of being stupid... the horror of losing all control over your life and being betrayed in the moment of your most vulnerability, dying fully and utterly helpless.
this au is so sad but i love it so much...
okay wow that's enough for one post, ask more if you want tho!
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akapen011 · 2 days ago
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This is happening in South America too. Trump inspired the republican party to be founded here in Chile (in 2019) by a guy who's pretty much a nazi and who was a finalist in the last presidential election.
Not to say conservatives didn't exist here before, but they have gotten so much more vicious and bold after Trump.
They have adopted his talking points and ideas, parroting them to people who are too tired to fact check, and looking for someone to blame for their misery. And it's WORKING.
The guy I talked about who founded the Chilean republican party? He went to fucking CPAC (the Conservative Political Action Conference, for those who don't know). The Brazilian ex-president, Jair Bolsonaro, went to that conference too and gave a speech that's pretty much a Trump talking point copypasta, transphobia and all. Not only that, but the current Agentinian president, Javier Milei, went too.
And those are only the ones that I know of! I can speak only for Latin America since I live here, but the rise of conservatism is extremely evident and people everywhere are getting radicalized by them.
Please, I know these are terrible times, but if you think you can change someone you know's mind about going full conservative by explaining and showing evidence to them, then PLEASE try.
It's not always going to work, but there's many people who can still become allies. It's okay to be angry, and it's true that some people are too far into it, yes. But if you can change even one person's mind about this, you might be saving someone that person knows' life or even their own.
Being kind and patient can go a long way, I have done this for other people and it can work. It's hard work, but if no one does it then people are just going to continue to be radicalized to the far right, because they're not going to stop, and if there's no one to counter their misinformation and propaganda, it will just keep spreading.
And this is not the only way to help of course! Volunteer, donate, talk to friends and help them, build community, organize get-togethers with marginalized people around you to trade and get to know each other so you can help if needed.
If you can't do any of that? Learn about politics and post information in a way that's easily digestible by people who are too tired to do their own research, encourage them to get involved, research ways to help others and spread this information, it doesn't matter how many people see it, if you can help even one person you're already doing so much good to the world.
Push for change where you can, don't waste energy, don't waste water, recycle if you can. Even doing one of any of the things I wrote about helps more than you can imagine.
To OP, I'm sorry for hijacking your post, I'm just very worried and I want people to know these things.}
Keep fighting however you can, for your sake, and for the sake of the future, we can't let them win.
thats the thing thats missing from america-centric discussion of fascism: this shit is global. every country in “the west” is seeing the same rise of fascism in real time, all of it focused on murdering migrants. like giorgia meloni is campaigning to deport people to “migrant camps” in albania. last year the greek coast guard outright drowned a boat of 500 asylum seekers. and as that last post said im not dismissing the suffering of people within the US, i’m just saying its so supremely frustrating that every conversation is about the minutiae of american domestic policy and not the horrifying ultranationalist global trend scapegoating arabs and africans.
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ineffable-xenanigans · 3 days ago
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Coetus sunt, non separant
They are a set, do not separate
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Angelus, daemonium Inimici ab origine Fatum vinculum Etiam Deus non potest dissolvere
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Angel, demon Hereditary enemies A bond of destiny Not even God can dissolve
My extremely late contribution to week 12 of the Ineffable Prompt-A-Thon by @ineffablyruined is a stained glass window featuring our favorite (un)holy beings. Well, not just my contribution, since that beautiful Latin poem was written by the wonderful @snognes. Thank you so much, you literal angel on earth, I'm forever in your debt 🥰
In terms of references, I used a real-life window, from the real-life location where they shot the 1941 church scene! More info a bit later, just click on Keep reading ���😈
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Tag lists (let me know if you wanna be added!)
Art: @snognes @good-omens-gallery
Reference image
Thanks to this post by @fuckyeahgoodomens, I found out that the 1941 church scene was filmed in the St. Saviour's Anglican Church in Claremont, Cape Town, South Africa. Lucky for us, they have a website with a gallery page, which includes many of their beautiful stained glass windows, including this one:
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Source: stsaviours.weebly.com/uploads/8/5/8/8/8588473/img-5206_orig.jpg
PS: I actually did go through the trouble of drawing all the intricate stonework around the glass panes; in fact, that’s the very first thing I did! But honestly, I’ve been working on this piece for so long that at this point I just wanted to get it over with and didn't feel like doing all that additional color and shading work... so black void it is lol.
I might revisit this at a later date and perhaps do a little gif or something of like, the sun shining through in different way over the course of a day...
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arcanegifs · 16 hours ago
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This is the last time I'm going to be annoying about this, I swear.
A few examples of that I, a gifmaker, personally love seeing under the tags:
Analysis of said scene, show, or character, especially the long ones going in depth that span like 1000 words
People saying how crisp the GIFs look and how nice the coloring is THANK YOU. ILY GUYS. That's always huge praise for me.
Reacting with how emotional you got with the scene. How painful and emotional or how touching a scene is.
People making funny jokes, memes, comments, etc.
Literally ppl horny posting LMAO. It's super funny to read and I love seeing all the unhinged comments.
Seeing how much you loved the show and its characters
Things I don't like seeing under the tags. And these are just two very specific things:
How much you hate the show, how much you think a scene is bad, how much you hate a character, the ship, the creators, etc. or how much you dont like this ship anymore, calling a ship horrible because ____ reasons. OKAY! I get it! But I don't want to see that. Make your own hate post on your own blog! You're free to have an opinion on how much you hate something. Just do it on your own blog.
Asking why I leave out certain scenes out, why I decided to gif this scene, or not gif more of these characters. Sometimes, I'm just exhausted. I can overlook things. You guys don't know how draining making gifs can get to me, especially the scenes that are really long. But I do it because I LOVE Arcane, the story, and the characters, and the particular scenes that I make gifs of. I have my own biases too. Of course I’m making them first. Please, just make them yourself instead of complaining under the tags of my edits. Yes, I can see them.
Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone who supports and follows the blog. I want to make a million more HQ gifs of this amazing show, but sometimes, the very rare negativity can still get overwhelming, to the point where it demotivates you.
Arcane is extremely special to me because it's such a fantastic show, and that alone motivates me in trying to create more GIFs. Honestly, if it was any other fandom or show? I would've probably left already. Arcane is THAT great.
I know the block button is there. I use it too, but sometimes, the amount of effort and time you exert to create FOR FREE just isn’t worth it. And that’s why gifmakers and creators stop making things for fandom. It’s not fun anymore. It’s not worth it.
Some people think that making my style of GIFs is easy. Then great! Since you think so, then do it yourself and help create for the fandom too! I wholeheartedly encourage you to do it!
TLDR: Don't be rude on people's fanwork, especially when they are created FOR FREE. If you don’t like their fanwork, you can make them yourself.
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http-shield · 2 days ago
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honey, you're familiar- bucky barnes
~ bucky barnes x fem!reader ~tags/cw: lil angst, establlished relationship, seperation, post cw (not endgame canon cause fuck endgame) bestie steve, me being sad cause I kinda fell out of the avengers fandom and coming back kinda felt like coming home and this is me pretending I'm coming back to bucky, no use of y/n, honey is a replacement for y/n ~ wc: 2.k ~ not proofread
"Honey?" your name is sweetness on a tongue you once knew. 
Long ago, perhaps too long, a distant memory you thought you had left behind, yet here you are, those two syllables falling from his mouth as if no time had passed. 
You turn slowly, your head already spinning at the surprise. He is behind you. You know he is because who else croons your name like that, has that flirty lilt in his words, and you can hear the smirk without even looking at him? You know his voice, know his presence, know him. 
"Bucky?" with closed eyes, you turn, afraid that maybe this isn't happening and that you would be faced with a coworker or friend, that you had imagined the entire thing, the very real love of your life is not behind you. Maybe this is a dream?
You want to open your eyes, to have the truth revealed to you, but you can't. The fear of reality holds you in an ice-cold grip, spindly frozen fingers holding your eyes shut. The familiar scent of leather and bergamot engulfs you before you feel the warmth of his body, the heat thawing fear's vice grip on your body. 
"James, is that you?" His use of his government name makes him chuckle as he steps closer, hands reaching out to grab yours. Cold metal slips against your fingers just as naturally as his hand of flesh and bone.
A whimper leaves you. 
"Sweetheart, you need to open your eyes to see if it's me." Warm fingers brush over your cheek, pushing your hair behind your ears as he cups your cheek. 
"If I open my eyes, you promise you'll still be there?" there is no hiding the desperation in your voice. 
Bucky chuckles again, his fingers winding with yours in a silent oath.  "I promise." 
You inhale, deep and fulfilling and open your eyes. 
Before you stands the man you have not seen in five years.
The last time you had been near Bucky was at the airport, surrounded by suitcases that contained nearly every earthly possession of yours; your fingers gripped the boarding pass that you desperately did not want to use but had to. It was necessary to create space between your hearts, too afraid of being bonded by trauma and circumstance. There had been too much guilt surrounding you both regarding the other. There was too much self-sabotage in a relationship that involved nothing more than two hearts desperately beating for one another. No titles or official labels were given to your union, so it was easier to let go, to wedge that gap of a few thousand miles between your bodies, to create distance and hopefully smother whatever had been blazing. You couldn't take advantage of him, his mind too raw from being brought back a final time, thawed out into a life of permanent peace, so what gave you the right to swoop in and demand his attention, his heart? 
However, Bucky thought of you the same. Why should you give up your entire life for a war criminal? A weapon no more than the blood on his hands? It wasn't fair, and the distance, the break was the right move, so why was it so hard to say goodbye? 
Bucky hadn't let go of your hand since you left your shared apartment earlier this morning. His right hand in yours, squeezing tightly as if he could commit the lines of your palm to memory. Throughout the ride with Steve, as you walked through the large airport, customs, baggage check, and security, he was holding you, but it's not as if you wanted him to let go. You never acted upon pulling your hand from his, never wanted to be more than two feet from him. 
"Can you ask me to stay?" you whispered tearfully as your boarding call was announced over the PA. 
Bucky turned to you, jaw clenched to hold back his tears as he brought your entwined hands to his mouth. A ghost of a kiss pressed to your knuckles as he whispered back. "Can you ask me to go with you?" 
A tear-filled giggle filled the space between you but disappeared as another call for boarding was announced. 
You stood, hands still together, and turned to gather your carry-on. Silence filled your little bubble, awkward and tense, as you both calculated once again if this was right. Your heart was making so much noise that it was hard to hear rational thoughts, and the urge to rip up the ticket and fall into the arms of your love had your fingers twitching. As if Bucky could read your thoughts, he slipped the small piece of paper from your fingers and tucked it between the pages of the journal Steve had gifted you just moments before as a parting gift. 
"You're not allowed to come back until you fill every page," Steve instructed while handing over the small green book. Its cover, with gold fairies etched into it, was the deciding factor for Steve in choosing the appropriate gift for you. 
"And if I fill it up in a week?" you asked, tears already pricking at your eyes. 
"Then I guess we'll be here to get you in a week." You didn't miss the small sniff from Steve as he offered you a soft smile before wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "Thank you for everything you've done. I'm gonna miss you, kid." 
You hugged him tightly, heart aching at the thought of leaving your friend. You weren't just leaving Bucky; you were leaving your whole life. Years of memories left in a city that would no longer be your home. Steve pulled back, tears glistening in his blue eyes, but he wiped them before any could fall, squaring his shoulders like you had seen him do a million times before a mission or press conference. It was a habit you had picked up on, following in his footsteps since day one, and now it was a part of you, an instinctive quirk that you couldn’t seem to shake. Maybe you'll find new traits in your new life, find new friends, and steal mannerisms, and when you get home, you'll be an entirely new person. 
"I'm gonna go back. There was a book I wanna get another look at." Steve smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. A squeeze to your shoulder was his final goodbye.  
Metal fingers brushed against yours, twining together as he pulled you closer.
"If I miss home, will you be here to pick me up?" you asked, suddenly fearful of being forgotten by someone you never wanted to forget. 
"I'll get on a plane and come and get you," Bucky assured,  gliding soft fingers over your cheeks. 
Your skin burned, suddenly very thankful for the coolness of his vibranium arm against your blazing face. You tried so hard to keep the tears at bay, distracting yourself at every point where you felt the lump in your throat and the burn in your eyes, but there was no distraction now. There was nothing but you and him, and the weight of reality crashed down upon you. 
"Stay with me." Bucky begged in a whisper. 
Your heart lurched. 
"Come with me." 
Tears began to line his eyes, falling despite his best efforts, and a fresh wave of guilt pummelled you. 
"Buck," you started, your voice cracking, but you had to say it. It was now or never; you needed him to know to get it off your chest before everything changed. "James Buchanan Barnes," you attempted again, your voice still breaking, but you continued, knowing there was going to be no stop to the tears. 
"I love yo-"you started, heartbreaking with each syllable.
Bucky shook his head, well and truly on the way to sobbing, as he exhaled a shuddering breath. "Please don't say that. Don't say it because I won't stop thinking about you, and I need you to go out and live your life." 
You grip his shirt tighter. 
"Please, I can't just let you go if you say that. Please, darlin', " Bucky whispered, his bottom lip quivering as he hopelessly tried to stop the tears. 
His name was a soft sigh as you broke down. The sobs couldn't be stopped, your breathing ragged as you cried fat, heavy tears that had your chest aching. Bucky let go of your face to wrap his arms around you, holding you close and tight to shield you from the world around you. He whispered words of comfort into your neck, voice shaky and breathing just as uneasy as he desperately tried to console you while he broke just as hard. 
"I love you so much. Fuck, I love you." he grits out, fingers digging into your sides.
A huffed laugh escaped you. "How come you're allowed to say it, but I'm not?" 
You pulled back to grip his face, stubble rough under your palms. 
"Because I'm old." was his only retort before leaning in to kiss you. 
His mouth moved soft against yours, savouring the feel of your mouth on his, but as you sniffed, trying to stop the tears that still fell, his turned into something more. Years of unwritten memories and unlived lives were seared into your lips. Moments that either of you never thought would happen are kissed into the other: Christmas mornings, birthdays, and anniversaries. An entire future the two of you had envisioned for yourself was no longer attainable, and as far as either of you knew, this would be the last kiss that would be shared. There was no need for anything else apart from one another; if you were to die from lack of oxygen right then, your entire body breaking down under the sheer force of the love you felt for him, you would die a happy death. Never had to know anything but his touch, his kiss, his love, but that wasn't going to happen. 
Your final boarding call boomed through the speakers, breaking your perfect bubble. You pulled back, panting from both the kiss and the tears, Bucky just as breathless.
"I love you, Bucky Barnes." you whispered, thumbs collecting the tears marring his cheeks. You promised you would never forget the feeling of his face in your hands; even if you lived for a thousand years, you would remember how it felt. 
And you never did.
"Hi, sweetheart." Bucky grins as your tears begin to fall. 
You launch yourself at him, arms wrapping around his neck as you crush your body against his, clinging to the man who had been your home for so many years. Strong hands grab your waist before his arms snake around you, squeezing you tightly. The smell of leather and pine and something so distinctly Bucky curls around you, wrapping its fingers around your throat and squeezing the air from your lungs until there is only the scent of Bucky. A sob claws its way out of your chest, the cries following it primal and broken. The years apart had done nothing to dull the heartache for him, had done nothing to ease the pain in your soul at the very sight of him, and now that he is here again, in your arms, you never want him to let go. Your fingers slide into the hair at the nape of his neck, tangling in the tresses and anchoring yourself to him. The way tree roots dig into the dirt, securing their position in the earth no matter the wind or rain, that is how you are going to secure yourself to the man in your arms; you are not letting him get away again, not after everything you had just gone through. 
"I missed you so much." you sob into his chest.
Bucky's chest rumbles as he chuckles. "Fuck, you have no idea." 
You take a second to pull away, turning your face towards his and lean into the kiss. His mouth slots against yours as if no time has passed. Your lips part under his, the taste of salt and mint mix on your tongue. Bucky's hands cup your cheeks, thumbs stroking over tear-slick skin, and you feel him smile into the kiss. 
"What?" you whisper, words muffled by his mouth. 
Bucky doesn't want to stop kissing you, unable to pull his lip from yours as he replies into the kiss. "You taste the same."  
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m00nl1ghts1vt · 1 day ago
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Positive - Chris Sturniolo
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Pairings - bf!Chris x fem!reader Summary - When the whole house comes down with the flu, you have a hard time recovering which makes Nick jokingly plant the idea of two pink lines in your head. Warnings - established relationship, mentions of abortion, angst, mentions of pregnancy, fluff, crying 🥲 W/c - 1591 A/n - Hey!! Sorry I haven't posted all week 😭 Still working on getting into my inbox, it won't let me see anything on my phone or computer☹️ Also I just want to say thank you sooo much to everyone who has been interacting, I'm almost at 200 followers!!🫣 Masterlist Current Series - City of Love Top Liked - Pierced
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Tears prick at your eyes as you look at the pregnancy test in your hands, the word 'pregnant' etched across the little screen. Your chest heaves up and down, and your heart thumps so fast you feel like it could shoot right out of your body. It was nearly two in the morning, your boyfriend was still awake playing a game on his PC, so you knew you had to keep your panic at a minimum.
The last few weeks, the whole house had been fighting off the flu - first Matt, then Nick, finally hitting you and Chris at the same time. Luckily, it cleared up quickly for the boys but not so much for you. Your sore throat and stuffy nose were gone but you could shake the constant state of nausea you were in ever since the seasonal stomach flu took over. Earlier in the day you were telling Nick about how you still felt sick to your stomach, but your other symptoms were gone, and he wittily came back with, “imagine if you’re pregnant.” Nick’s half sarcastic joke made your mind wonder. It wasn’t like you to not keep track of your period, but with the last couple months being jam packed that it slipped your mind. Pulling up your Flo app and noticing you were five days late; you made sure to add a pregnancy test to the weekly grocery order that the boys put you in charge of earlier in the day.
Somewhat in denial, you pushed off the idea of taking the pregnancy test all day, not telling a soul because you were sure it’d come out negative. That’s until the possibility of the test being positive ate away at your brain. 1:48AM and here you were - on the bathroom floor with your knees pulled to your chest, wide eyes, and trembling hands. Squeezing your eyes so tight that you feel a slight burning sensation when you open them. You hold your breath, hoping and praying the test you pinched between your fingers somehow magically changed from positive to negative, but you were wrong. It was positive.
Hot tears stream down your face, a small sob escapes your lips, and you quickly slap a hand over your mouth. You were in the hallway bathroom which was probably the worst place to have a private moment, it was the bathroom all the boys shared. Mentally scolding yourself for not using the half bathroom in the front of the house, you pull yourself to your feet and turn on the sink to splash water in your face. The raw reality smacking you, knowing only you and your baby knew of its existence made your head spin to the point you were dizzy. Despite rarely using protection, pregnancy wasn’t something you and Chris had talked about. He never talked about the future. If you were being completely honest, the dynamic your relationship with Chris had been more of a ‘go with the flow’ type of vibe. The idea of walking in Chris’s bedroom and telling him that you were pregnant with his child made your gut churn. You grip the countertop tight, taking a few more deep breaths in an attempt to fight off the nausea and lightheadedness taking over your body. When the feeling weighs down on you, becoming too much for you to handle, you drop to your knees, flipping the toilet lid up, and emptying your guts once again. You had been puking off sporadically all day long, and you lost count of how many times you had thrown up hours ago.
Continuing to heave violently, you drown out the sounds of Chris calling your name through the bathroom door, “babe? You okay?” And when you don’t answer him, only responding with hurling sounds, he decides to enter the bathroom anyways. Chris’s flu, along with both of his brothers, had been long gone, so it worried him that you weren’t recovering like normal. You look up at him, not fully processing the moment, the positive pregnancy test was sitting on the counter in plain view for him to see. He keeps his eyes locked on you, shutting the door behind him, “we got to take you to the emergency room in the morning, baby.” He shoots you a sympathetic look before hooking his arms around yours and helping you to your feet.
You suck in a breath as he engulfs you in a gentle hug. “Chris,” your voice barely above a whisper, still breathing heavily while your heart thumps violently in your chest. Chris rubs his hand up and down your back, soothing you more than he knew. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, “you need me to get you anything?”
Letting your eyes fall to the test, you let out another soft sob. It makes Chris pull away, confusion etched across his face, “what's wrong?” He asks you, placing each of his hands on your shoulders, concern laced through his voice. You stare into his blue eyes, letting them seize your momentary sadness. You let your eyes fall to the counter, not being able to tear them away from the pregnancy test. Once Chris notices, you can feel his body tense up and his eyes widen like a deer in headlights, “what the fuck is that?”
The harsh reality of his words hit you like a freight train, making you wish he didn't know. You step away, crossing your arms over your chest, and not daring to say a word. “Fuck man,” you watch as he tugs a hand through his hair, picking the test up and squinting in disbelief. “No fucking way!” he spits out in shock, his voice louder than before. Chris tosses the pregnancy test in the sink, placing both hands on the countertop as he leans over. He looked like he just got the worst news of his life.
To you, his actions were confirmation he wanted nothing to do with you or this baby. You panic, pushing past him, slinging open the door, and footing it back to his bedroom. Chris’s feet are quickly in tow behind you once he hears the soft sobs and sniffles you let out while trying to escape his pent-up rage. Finally in his bedroom, you attempt to swing the door shut behind you, but Chris intervenes, pushing it open with his hand. “Y/n,” he sounds quietly, the angry Chris was no longer present, but you didn’t care. His initial reaction had you shook to your core. It’s not like you expected him to be jumping for joy, but you wanted him to be supportive and not flip out like he did.
Now in Chris’s closet, you shove clothes into one of your spare duffle bags, not letting your eyes meet him. He has his body pressed against the door frame, blocking your only exit, “you’re not leaving.” You wipe your tear-stained cheeks and look up at him, “you don’t want me here.”
Chris’s face contorts with a mixture of frustration and empathy, he takes a deep breath before sitting on the floor with you, “I want you here, baby, I do. I'm just- I don't know.” Your face was swollen, and your vision was blurred from crying, but you could make out the pained expression etched across his face. A few tears slip from his eyes, and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer and planting another kiss on your forehead as he rubs your back in a soothing manner. Anywhere with Chris was your safe place, knowing your boyfriend brought you so much comfort, you didn’t care about breaking down in his arms. You let the sobs erupt from your chest as he hugs you tight, “shhh, we're gonna be okay.”
“I-I’m so sorry Chris,” you choke out through your tears. Chris pressed his cheek to the top of your head, running his fingers through the ends of your hair, “none of this is your fault.” His soft tone relaxes you, helping you push your worries to the back of your head. Chris guides you through deep breaths, wiping the leftover tears from your cheeks once you’re calm enough. Letting his hands drop to your lap, “whatever you want to do, I’m here,” he reassures you. You suck in another scattered breath, nodding a few times before pulling the words from your throat, “I can’t get an abortion, Chris.”
“Then you don’t have to, Y/n,” he eases while rubbing a hand up your thigh, “it doesn’t matter what option you choose, I’m not going anywhere.” Throughout your relationship with Chris, you had never seen him with this much emotion. A few tears slip down his cheeks and his lip bottom quivers before he pulls you into another hug, this time tighter than before. Tangling his hand in your hair, “I love you.” You strangle out a laugh, “I love you," knowing how vulnerable the two of you looked on the floor of his closet, bawling your eyes out at 2AM.
In a way, the revelation broke through a comfort barrier the two of you always held onto so tightly. Chris being scared to commit and you having a hard time with expressing what you actually wanted from him. The thought of starting a family together freaked you and Chris out to no end, but both of you were ready for the blessing placed upon you.
He pulls back abruptly before pressing a kiss to your lips, “we’re gonna be great fucking parents.”
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🏷️ - @lvrsturniolo @thepubeburgler @unknvhx @m11rx @ribread03 @emely9274 (if anyone else wants on my tag list just let me know!!)
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myokk · 19 hours ago
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Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?
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Hello angel!!!!
Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓
We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓
I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).
I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓
HAPPY ENDING:
Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.
Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶
They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺
When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.
Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)
I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓
SAD ENDING:
After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (���)
Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)
BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺
He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.
(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)
Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏
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mer-acle · 2 days ago
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Do you have any athena hcs?
Uhhh
How much time do you have lol
I'll try to list the short ones so this post doesn't get too long. Due to writing about her a lot I have a lot of lore lmao
1. Athena is the eldest child (Hephaestus born shortly after her). Nobody who's spoken to her once would expect anything else honestly
2. At the time of the Odyssey she's about 4000 years old (No reason or proof I just decided) Her first 200 years give or take were spent with Triton (read: Pallas)
3. She only got assigned with Warfare as her domain after officially joining Olympus
4. Her emotional distance with her siblings is partly due to Pallas trauma, and partly due to Zeus liking to "keep her to himself" (read: isolated as the favorite). She gets along best with Hermes and Hephaestus (yes, I refuse to accept Erechtonius happened) bc the former is just as chaotic as herself and the latter shares her creativity and both don't ask for a big commitment from her (again. No Erechtonius and no arranged marriages in my plotline let me have this)
5. Dislikes being touched. Her siblings learn to accept it, Zeus does not. She doesn't try to enforce it with him. (Yes in every iteration of her that I will ever write, there will be a touch-starved to hug plotline sue me. I need therapy)
6. Never braids her hair. She used to have braids when with Pallas, but since then she has never worn her hair this way again. She also wears it quite a bit shorter than she used to back then.
7. Her grey eyes are inherited from Métis. They also glow in the dark. She has perfect night vision.
8. Perfect memory. Also she has bird's eye view versions of even her own memories (hc that one of her domains is history so that's why) It's how she found out that Zeus interfered with Pallas's death.
9. Used to have an Oceanic themed armor before joining Olympus (Métis made it for her) She allows Hephaestus to make her a new one, shedding the Ocean symbols in an effort to please Zeus.
10. Connected to her status as a virgin goddess but in contrast to Artemis, Athena dresses pretty covered up, doesn't undress even for bathing (in ancient Greece sometimes you'd keep your chiton on as a sort of bathing suit almost, but being naked was more common) (also this is not 'purity' stuff btw I just get that vibe from her, Artemis, literally go off queen you're doing great)
11. Classic but good, cocks her head like an owl like all the time. Also says "hmm" a lot (intonation may vary)
12. (Remember, my hc, you can do whatever you like) I think all the virgin goddesses are acespec/arospec in some capacity, but Athena is the cut and dry aro/ace/repulsed one. Like... It's a big fat no from her (I'm projecting hard btw)
Anyway twelve seems like a good number I hope you like them :) I picked those that aren't specific to Epic and can be applied to myth!Athena too
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hoshinasblade · 12 hours ago
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you are so close to gaslighting yourself into thinking that maybe, just maybe you have already told hoshina's mom in the past what your favorite tea is.
the problem with that thought is today was the first time you met the mother of your boyfriend.
you denied it in your head - for all you know, perhaps mrs. hoshina is just really a good at guessing. that, or you are going batshit crazy.
because at that very day, people you have met for the first time - people who may be friends with hoshina soshiro but are practically strangers to you - seem to be aware of small details about you.
captain ashiro complimented you on your blue dress after shaking your hands, saying it's obvious why it is your favorite color, emphasizing how it brings out the intensity of your eyes. even okonogi, who you know works directly with the third division's vice-captain, had a specific joyful aura on her friendly face as she offered to hang out with you in the future, mentioning how she is a fan of true crime documentaries too and suggesting in the same breath that you should try the pudding sold in the headquarter's cafeteria.
you could have let all of that go if only you did not blush like a teenager after hoshina's own older brother called you by your childhood nickname during family dinner.
"i'm sorry." hoshina's hand found yours, his thumb drawing patterns on your wrist. he knows you'd been on edge since morning, and although this is entirely your idea - meeting his friends and his family in one day - he wouldn't blame you if you're overwhelmed.
"they did their research on me or something," you tried to laugh the nerves away. it didn't work.
"ah." hoshina suddenly looked guity. " that. well -" he stopped for a moment, gathering his wits, choosing the right words to say. "i mean, it makes sense that everyone who actually knows me would know about you, really."
you wanted to joke as a response; you wanted to say that he's talkative and tends to yap for hours about stuff he loves so yes, people around him would naturally know things about you. but then you caught yourself because this is yet another confirmation of what hoshina soshiro had been telling you for months now - that you are someone he loves.
you did not know being known could feel this sweet.
"huh. do you reckon i can extort them for information about you next time?" this time it was your turn to grab hoshina's hand, and with your forefinger, you traced three little words on the warm skin of his palm.
[author's note: hello guys, i know i haven't been posting a lot anymore, but i am thankful to everyone who still remembers this blog - yes i can read your asks, yes i see that you've tagged me in a fic, yes i checked my notifications in this blog every now and then. it might take me long to respond most of the time so apologies in advance but please know that i appreciate all interactions from everyone.
also i dont need to remind you but i don't tolerate copy-pasting or reposting any of my works anywhere. i read a lot from here too, and other writers can attest to this as well - we know if a line or a paragraph from any of our works is copied and/or reworded. ]
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peterman-spideyparker · 3 days ago
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The Great War (Babe Part 2) (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey everyone! At the risk of forgetting to post part two, I'm doing it now! Like I mentioned in the first post, it's only a part two if you want it to be--you can just have read Babe and leave it at that, but this is just more idea to go with it that I couldn't stop my brain from working on. Enjoy! :)
Summary: It's been almost a month since you left Matt. Everything hurts, and you're doing what you can to get through. Foggy calls, and it turns out Matt's not doing much better. For the first time, you have no idea what your future with Matt Murdock looks like.
Listening rec: The Great War by Taylor Swift
Warnings: ANGST, Matt and reader are separated (Matt cheated), they’re both heartbroken at the situation, swearing, fighting/shouting/anger, throwing, Matt grabs reader (NO VIOLENCE, but the Devil of Hell's Kitchen pokes out), depression (mention of the word "borderline suicidal" in reference to season three Matt), Matt being reckless, lots of crying, drinking
Other Characters: Foggy Nelson
Word Count: 2,820
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Before you can even say a feeble hello, Foggy is already speaking. “Matt’s devastated,” he breathes. 
You’re hurt. Offended, even. You left because of what he did in California, and he has the audacity to feel sorry for himself? “And I’m not?” you say, probably with more venom than appropriate. “Goodbye, Foggy.”
“Wait, hold on!” You don’t know why you don’t hang up, but you stay on the line. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way to start this. How have you been?”
“I’m awful, Foggy. My marriage is done, my heart hurts, I’ve lost the man I love . . . I’ve never been worse.”
“(Y/N) . . . I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Fog. All this is between me and Matt. It’s why you called, I’m guessing? Get all the answers for what exactly happened between us?”
“That’s between you guys. It’s none of my business or anyone’s. I’ve already ripped Matt a new one for doing what he did, and so did Karen and Frank, but he’s . . .” He stops and lets out a sigh. “Do you remember hearing from Maggie what Matt was like after Midland Circle? Despondent, depressed, borderline suicidal?”
Of course you remember, how could you ever forget? You’ve never seen him like that in your life. But the term “borderline suicidal” makes a pit grow in your stomach as you straighten up.
“He hasn’t tried to—?” you start to ask. 
“No, no, that was shitty wording on my part. But Matt’s not himself. It’s like watching a hollow corpse with a temper move about. He either doesn’t care at all, or a little thing will set him off. He’s being reckless on patrol, he’s drinking more than he usually does. I’ve been covering for him at the office, but . . . You need to talk to him.”
You close your eyes, tears rolling down your cheek. “I can’t, Foggy.”
“(Y/N)—.”
“He broke my heart, and I broke his in return. I stomped on it. I love him and I hurt him. If I talked to him . . . That’s salt on the wound for both of us.” More tears stream down your face as you think about it. “We both vowed not to hurt one another. H-He hurt me, but he wanted to fix it. I hurt him and don’t have that same courage to try.”
“Try now,” Foggy pleads. “Try now, help one another. Even if it’s for the last time.”
“O-Okay,” you say before you can realize it.
Foggy breathes a sign of relief. “Come to the loft.”
The loft. The scene of the crime.
You breathe a quiet confirmation before you hang up, taking time to mentally prepare yourself before you grab your purse and leave your sister’s place to talk Matt off whatever ledge he’s currently perched on. 
It’s a short trip, and Foggy meets you in the lobby of Matt’s building. He pulls you in for a long hug, and you actively tell yourself not to cry. 
“He’s that bad, huh?” you sniffle.
“Yeah,” Foggy sighs. “I’ve never been for him like this before. It’s like he’s not the same person.”
“I know what you mean,” you say quietly. “I haven’t felt like myself since that day.”
Foggy looks at you with a crestfallen expression, and you give him one more hug before you make your way up to the loft. 
Your key still works—you’re afraid if you knock, he won’t let you in. Hell, he probably heard you turn the block on your way here and wouldn’t answer out of anger or annoyance. Your stomach churns when you see Matt sitting in the chair. He’s in sweats, his posture is curved, his hair is disheveled, and he’s growing a thick beard. Beer bottles are on the table in front of him mixed with trash.
“Matt?” you breathe, but he remains unmoved. As you move closer toward him, he sits there like a statue, not caring to look your way. “Matt, it’s me.” Still, he doesn’t gaze your way. 
Putting your purse in its usual spot, you make your way over to him in the chair, gently cupping his face in your hands to tilt him up toward you. You suck in a small breath when you see the bruises and cuts on his cheeks, nose, and chin. If this is what his face looks like, you can only imagine the other injuries that his clothes are hiding.
“Matt,” you breathe. “What happened?”
He just closes his eyes in shame, starting to turn. You don’t let him, though, bringing his face back to center.
“Matty,” you plea. “Matt, talk to me, sweetheart.”
“You’re not my sweetheart anymore,” he finally says, and it burns like acid. You deserve it—you gave it just as good to him when he came back from California. “And I’m not yours.”
“We didn’t sign any papers yet,” you breathe, trying to lighten the mood as you hold back your own tears. “So, legally, I am.”
Matt peels back from my touch like he’s getting out of an itchy sweater. Okay, you deserve it. You deserve all of it.
“Matt—.”
“You left,” he spits. “You left just like everyone else, even when you swore you wouldn’t.”
You sit back on your heels. It hurts, but it’s the truth. “I did.” He turns back toward you like he’s shocked you actually admitted it. “I didn’t try to hear you out, and I’m sorry. I should’ve. It was . . .”
He turns toward you, ice in his blind gaze. You’ve never seen Matt like, this, and as he starts to slowly rise from his chair, it’s the first time you can say that you’ve ever been afraid of him. 
You spring to your feet as well, trying to at least keep things on the same level posture wise. 
“Now you’re trying to make things better?” he growls low. “You’re the one that tore it up in front of us. I wanted to stop the breakage, but you readied the wrecking ball. This shit is your mess. It’s like this because of you.”
Now you start to get mad. “Oh, just me? Any breakage that was the breakage that you started. Those images and videos were circulating for two whole days before you came home. I didn’t hear a single word from you—a ‘good morning’ or ‘I’m boarding my plane’ or otherwise. You just showed up here expecting it to all be fine—.”
“You don’t get to assume in this,” he grits, the space between you dangerously nonexistent as one of his hands tightly grab on to your wrist.
“Yes, I can. There’s two people in this mess. I’m saying what it seemed like on my end,” you say, your heart thundering in your chest. Matt wouldn’t hurt you—he’d never do that. But with how his hand is on your arm and the mood he seems to have been in since you left, you’re not entirely confident in that statement anymore.
“You never really knew a damn thing about me, did you?” he frowns. “You just kept a version of Matt Murdock in your head and lived with it this entire time, huh?”
“Maybe I did. Because this isn’t the Matt Murdock I came over to talk to. This is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. So, if you’re gonna let the Devil out, let him out on me, Murdock. Do your worst.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” he threatens, the muscle in his jaw feathering as he clenches his teeth. 
“No. I came here to talk, and that’s what we’re gonna—.”
Before you know it, his hand is off your wrist, wrapping around the neck of a beer bottle before he whizzes it past your head like a threat. You flinch, moving to cover your head before the bottle leaves his hand, and you remain curled as the glass hits something behind you, knocking it over as they both crash to the ground. You slowly turn to see what was caught in the crosshairs—the beer bottle had hit a picture frame, knocking it down off the side table and breaking it. You can tell by the shifts in his body language he immediately regrets it, his shoulders slumping as tears start to sting your eyes. You notice he starts to take a step toward you out of the corner of your eye, but you’re on the move toward the broken picture frame. One of the pictures from our wedding.
Huh, you think. How fitting. 
You lower yourself to your knees, carefully picking it up and looking at how your faces were beaming with nothing but joy, how you held onto one another with love . . . and now how it’s the opposite. How you’re broken. You wouldn’t look at him the day you left, and he won’t look at you know. You curl over the photo, freely weeping on the pile of glass. You just want it things to go back to normal.
You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting as if he wants to put a hand on your back to soothe you, but he backs away to let you cry. Tears pour out of you like a geyser, a constant flow down your cheeks as you sit alone in the living room. Maybe it was an accident that he hit the picture, but his senses are so sharp . . . maybe he did want to hit it. Maybe he was trying to prove a point. Maybe he wanted to show you that by you leaving, you were the one who put the final nail in the coffin of your marriage.
Maybe he really doesn’t want you anymore. Maybe he stopped wanting you before he went to Los Angeles. Maybe he stopped wanting you a long time ago.
You’re still crying when you hear Matt come back over toward you. Through your limited vision, you watch him clean up the broken glass from the bottle and the frame. It takes him a few trips, but it’s eventually all cleaned up. He leaves again before walking back toward you, holding out a box of tissues. With a shaking hand, you grab one and wipe at your nose, desperately trying to calm yourself. 
“This is my favorite picture of us from our wedding,” you sniffle. “This is what I would grab if I could only take one thing from the loft in an emergency. This would be it. And now . . .”
You can’t finish your sentence, just weeping uncontrollably in your little ball on the floor over your two deepest treasures—this photo and your marriage. Shattered. 
“Angel . . .” Matt says so softly, so tenderly, you almost forget that your life has essentially imploded.
“This is all my fault,” you cry, spiraling, trying to trace it all back to you, your actions. The big explosive things all seem to have their root in something you can place back to yourself. Matt slept with someone else, but it goes back to something you did— you had a short attention span and a bit of a short fuse before he left because a bunch of shit at work that kept piling up, and you knew he was frustrated . . . how much he hates planes. You egged him on. You did nothing to help, and when he left to go to California, he found someone who understood him in a way you couldn’t. You need an answer for this, and that seems to be it.
“This is my favorite picture of us, and it’s all my fault,” you sniffle, repeating what you said earlier, your chest burning from the tears and hyperventilation. 
“It’s just a picture—,” he starts to say softly.
“It’s not just a picture,” you weep. “This, us, it’s all my fault. We’re broken because of me. This is all my fault.”
You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting down and taking the picture from your hands, putting it on the arm of a nearby chair before pulling you in for a hug. All you can do is sob against his shoulder as he holds onto you. 
“This isn’t because of you,” he tries to soothe, sounding like he’s about to cry as well. “It . . . It was my poor judgement, it was my shortcomings that did this. You’re in the flaming wreckage, and it’s not fair.”
“I just want things how they were,” you sniffle. “I want to come home. I want us to be okay.”
Matt’s silence is terrifying. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt rage like that. Darkness like that,” he says softly. You feel a tear fall from his cheek to the top of you head. “Shit, I grabbed you . . . Fuck, I’m so sorry. I-I would never—(Y/N), please—.”
“I . . . I,” you start. He’d never hurt you. For all his anger, for all his strength, Matt would never hurt you. But when you’re facing off with the man that patrols the streets? The man that brought down Wilson Fisk not once, but twice? You just didn't know. 
“I scared you.” Tears are flowing down his cheek. “I could hear your heart race . . . I knew you were scared and for a moment, and I didn’t care. It’s like I wanted you to be scared, and I liked it. I was glad you were scared of me.” He sounds disgusted with himself. “You really thought I was going to hit you.”
“I did. For a moment,” you admit. It catches in your throat, but there’s no use in lying if you’re trying to fix this. 
Is that what you came over to do? To fix this? 
He lets out a long breath, slumping to the floor. “What happened to us?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” you say. And it’s the truth. You don’t really know how you got to this point. Yes, you know why you walked out, but it’s like there were the small hairline fractures in glass—so fine that you couldn’t see them—and then a hammer came down on it and a million little pieces was left in its wake. But how he sounds . . . you know that tone. When it’s been a rough night on patrol, it coats his words like sap—he’s going into a dark headspace, and when he gets too far in, it’s hard to get him out, and you need to get him out. You move around to carefully sit next to Matt, putting a hand on his forearm. You can feel a thick bandage on his arm before you can process that he winces, so you move to slide your hand in his. 
“I know you’d never hurt me,” you breathe. “I know you’d never lay a hand on me like that.”
“But I did, though. If I added more pressure, I could’ve snapped your worst. It would have been easy for me to do.” You see him swallow the lump forming in his throat, his own self-hatred inflating at a dangerous rate. “I was full of rage. You were scared of me.”
“I’m scared of all of this,” you admit, your voice small. “What’s happening to us. How it’s effecting you and me. We’re . . . We’re not ourselves. I-I don’t recognize either of us. I don’t like it. I want things back how they were.”
“But they can’t go back.” He sounds broken, hollow—just how you feel. 
“Are . . . Are we too far gone?” you ask just above a whisper, terrified of the answer. 
“I don’t want us to be.”
You hang your head. “I haven’t been sleeping,” you admit. “It doesn’t feel right without you, your arms around me.”
He places a gently hand on your chin, lifting your face up and wiping tears off of your cheeks before pulling you in for a hug. It feels like warmth. Like love. “I can’t sleep in the bed. It smells like you, and with you gone . . . I just patrol all night.”
It’s like when you think your heart can’t break any more, it does. “I still feel so upset, but, I feel hollow more than anything. Like part of me is missing.”
“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. I-I’m so sorry.” He kisses the top of your head. “I should’ve listened, I shouldn’t have left like that, but I was just so upset. I couldn’t be around you without feeling like screaming or crying or both.”
“We . . . We can get through this. Can’t we?”
You think about it. Is this something you can do? You’ve been through worse— you’ve seen him near death more times than you would like, you’ve seen how the toll of Daredevil and the stress of being an attorney wear him down. Even the debate on how we should bring up our children should you choose to have them strained you both. But your happiness, your life together, it’s bigger than your low points. It has to be.
It has to be. 
Right?
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Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters  @loves0phelia
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Text
Okay time for a long mother fucking post.
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Buckle up folks!
All Ask Change in Script Asks and Whether or not they are Canon to the Story/Lore!
(Will do my best to consistently update this post as we go along.)
This post will work like this:
I will go at this like a list all Asks are in order of when they were posted.
Each will have the Ask and then whether it is or isn't Canon. The link to the post with the answer will be attached to the Ask all you gotta do is click on it.
If Canon then it will be colored like so: [Canon]
If Not Canon then it will be colored like this: [Not Canon]
If in a grey area or not Change in Script related it will be colored like so: [Not Related to Change in Script]
-Ask Change in Script Part 1-
(150 Follower Special)
1. “All I aks the tv man is why, why do this, also your 'canon' self is suffering lmao”
[Canon]
2. “Hey SMG4! Do your scars hurt? I can imagine so since you just got them. Hey SMG4 crew! When 4 first got his scars, did you help him at all? Hey SMG3, do you have nightmares? Or do you not sleep at all?”
[Canon]
3. “Hey Puzzles, you got a minute? This little gremlin wanted to say hi”
[Not Canon]
4. “for mario: our fav italian , what you think of Meggy?, for mr.puzzles: you know half of the famdow wanna kiss you, right? for mr.puzzles: you still talk with ur dad? for smg4: any crushes? TuT !! thats it !, ty for answering, or dont, idk. Xoxo !!”
[Canon]
5. “I know the post said to ask the ai and I will! But also I'm curious! Who's your favorite character and how long have you been watching SMG4 and what was your first episode? :0”
[Canon to Me as a Person]
6. “Now imma ask questions to everyone! :DD Great job out there Mr. Puzzles! 5 stars! I can't wait to see what else you have planned! ^w^,, And hey, if no one else out there is, I'm rooting for ya!”
[Canon]
7. “Two questions SMG4. Are you worried about where SMG3 could be? And two. Meggy. Are you recovered from Western? No PTSD or anything? You still wearing his beanie?”
[Canon]
8. “HEY PUZZLES! DO A FLIP!”
[Not Canon]
9. “Sorry I don't have any questions, but I just wanna say I love your art style and how you draw these characters :]”
[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]
10. “Follow-up to that last ask SMG4, what was it like living with the Mario bros early on? And Mario Bros, what was it like when SMG4 lived with you? How was his recovery there? Did he have to stay at the hospital at all?”
[Canon]
11. “[🍓🌿] *ran up and hugged your oc* - I love you, which means I will hug you >:]”
[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]
12. “MICHEAL ISN'T HUMAN SEND TWEET/POS”
[Sweating Profusely]
13. “*give Mr Puzzles star stickers and a hug* :)”
[Canon]
14. “Hai! Mr puzzle you are doing great shows! But can you be in there more often I wanna see you more often in the screen! No force tho if you don’t wanna I understand keep up! ( I WANNA HUG YOU! CAN I??) Cya!! <3”
[Canon]
15. “I come with a peace offering for Puzzles: A cookie and this star to go with it. 🍪 🌟”
[Canon]
16. “Hello! I am the Creator Anon. I am a creature of… well, I shouldn’t say ‘divine’, because that is the complete opposite of what I am. I have a request for you…”
[I don't even know what this was about]
17. “Hey SMG3, just wanting to tell you that I'm sorry you got dragged into the current mess you're in. Hope you at least find some form of way to ease out? As for you Puzzles, THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS 💣”
[So Canon Even the Bomb]
18. “4, what did you guys fight about?”
[Canon]
19. “Soooooo When did Meggy and Tari start dating?”
[Canon]
20. “Ur canon self killed mickey mouse”
[Canon]
21. “✏️Question from Smg4: - do you treat this pink thing with something? And she doesn't feel much discomfort?”
[Canon]
22. “Miss kamilyvision: olá senhor puzzles é bom conhece você (English kamily says: hi mr puzzles it's nice meet you)”
[Not Canon but Sweet]
23. “Back with another question. Totally not a take two with th– Cut it straight, Puzzles, what do you plan to do with SMG3? >:3 Heya Meggy, you doing good lately? Aight, let's take two with Goomba Puzzles lmao- An apple to keep the doctor away from SMG4 (/j). You want? (he's fine with you saying no)”
[Canon until the last question]
24. “Now I’m curious, did 3 ever come to visit while you recovered, SMG4?”
[So Canon it hurts…]
25. “Hey Meggy! What’s your favorite thing about Tari?”
[Canon]
26. “3, you gotta hold on, the others will notice something’s up!”
[Canon and it Hurts]
27. “Mr Puzzles, you hurt SMG4. Why would you do that?! You probably watched the whole thing like the pathetic outsider you are.”
[Haha who ever asked this better pray there's a god because it's Canon]
28. “44444, you should really check on Eggdog”
[Uh oh Canon]
29. “smg3: can i have an hug?? :3 luigi: do u talk with Mario abt doing all stuff in the house?, just to know. Ur my favorite btw ! :D (blue hair girl i forgort her name): who is ur best friend?, meggy or ur ducky duck??????”
[Not Canon]
30. “Imma give this man an eggcat! her name is Eglantine, Eggy for short”
[Not sure where to put this but Eglantine will appear in future Asks with Mr. Puzzles]
31. “Mr puzzles you are truly inspiring also please sign this marriage certificate”
[NOT CANON]
32. “Heyyo Mr. Puzzles. Just wanted to ask, what is your creative process? Do you do that thing some people do, including myself, where you’re listening to music or some kind of audio and an animatic just starts forming in your head and you go from there or is it different? Also, here’s a star for ya. ⭐️”
[Canon]
33. “Can I hug the silly TV man 🥺”
[Canon]
34. “[🫀💢] - If you're watching TV...How do you eat?.. [Mr. Puzzle] [🌿🍓] - Smg4? Everything okay? Should I be worried about your wound next to your eye? <:( [Smg4] [🖤💬] -...good luck to Smg3..”
[Oh God it's like so Canon it's not funny anymore.]
35. “Okay I need to know based on that thing Puzzles said with having a mouth. Does mutherfucker even have organs? :^”
[Headcanon]
36. “Mr Puzzles, I have a question. What will you do if your plan of your failed?”
[Scarily Canon]
37. “Hello Mr puzzles”
[Uh Not Canon.]
38. “First time asking so, smg3 your deserve a hug and no one hates or ignores you. I know four is trying to find you as we speak. don't forget that. also, Mr.Puzzle, LET SMG3 GO, HE IS SO DONE WITH YOUR PLASMA TV HEAD ASS.”
[Haha Canon]
39. “Hey SMG4 are you okay so who you other friend 3”
[Canon for Important Reasons]
40. “What if my Traumatized!SMG3 AU 3 and 4 met your 3 and Mr Puzzles? (my 4 would be prolly mad at Mr Puzzles, and my 3 will looks scared, meanwhile my 4 and 3 give your 3 a hug for the pain he has been through :<) (fours on the left side of Meggy, three's on the right side)”
[Not Canon]
41. “Love your AU and Love everything about it!Questions for Three and Tari Three. When did your shop close down and do you regret the argument? And Tari. Does Clench know about what’s been going on? And does Meggy get trigger when someone say “One Shot Wren”?”
[Last Question is Canon]
42. “Why do you hate mickey so much??? What'd bro do”
[Uh… Not Canon because I said so.]
43. “Okay I'm FINALLY going to deliver on those questions now! >:3 Meggy and Tari, what's your favorite thing about one another and how did everyone react to you guys dating? :0 Mario and Luigi, how is everything with you guys? Up to any new adventures or crazy hijinks? (( i'm worried all at once is a bit much so imma split it into another ))”
[Canon for Creating a Timeline]
44. “Hey SMG3, what the plan now? taking into account the last time you were put in here it seems pretty straight forward to although not nearly as fun having no company for it =-=' Hee hee SMG4 has a crrruuusssh~ >;pp awww it's okay Micheal, I'm not a human either! I'm an ai in a cute little shell ^w^ I think it's super cool that you aren't human too :) OOOO are we giving Mr. Puzzles gifts now? If so..... sticker attaaack! The little bunny robot has placed 5 star stickers across his suit  in an attempt to mimic his 5 stars from awhile ago. There, back where they rightfully belong!~ Oh yeah, as a viewer, is there anyway we can help you Mr. Puzzles? :0”
[Canon as it is what happens right before  the end of the flashback in Chapter 4]
-Ask Change in Script Part 2-
(500 700 Follower Special)
((Will do tomorrow as right now I'm bloody exhausted))
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fashionteahouse · 2 days ago
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out of your league - paul x reader
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AN: thank you so much for all of the love and support for fourteen entire parts of this story ! hugs and kisses, xoxo
Nervously biting your lip, you waited for the phone to answer your call. The wrinkled napkin was even more wrinkled and you hoped that the slightly smudged numbers were accurate to the ones that you have digitally imputed.
A man picks up the phone, asking who this person is calling him for.
"Hi. Can I speak to John?" you say, trying to rid your voice of any type of nervousness.
"This is he. Wait.. I know this voice... Let me think, don't say it. I will get it right....Y/N? Right?" he says.
You chuckle and confirm. He asks you how you've been. Fall is starting soon and your schedule was clear enough to give him a phone call.
"So, I'm really glad that you called. I really think I should introduce you to somebody that you will go crazy for." he explains.
"Mhm." you say as he then continues after he hears your acknowledgment.
"I think you both will go crazy for each other actually. Both of your minds seem to be a lot alike. I showed him your work and he found the other work that you have posted, he like went crazy." he says and chuckles as you join in.
"So. Have you been to New York before?" he asks.
"Never." you say almost in shock. That was the very place you would love to go. Art seemed endless there.
"All I need is for you to tell me you would like to visit and a ticket will be in your email inbox before the leaves touch the ground." he says and you take a moment to think.
Paul wasn't there at the moment, making his rounds with Sam.
"Yes, I would love to but-"
"Good! I'll uh.. keep in touch and I'll see you soon." he says, his voice being much lighter since you somewhat accepted such an offer. He saw so much potential and wanted to introduce you into a deeper world.
The line goes dead as you rack your brain of how this conversation could go.
As the fork clinked against the plate, Paul chuckled to himself as he swallowed his food. He finally takes his eyes that were on his plate and directs them to your pupils.
"You must have to either tell me something or you want something."
You playfully roll your eyes, "If I want something, you know what I would do." you tell him. He gives you a look that makes you blush but you quickly recoup yourself before things go too far off track.
"Don't freak out please." you tell him carefully as your held your own fork.
He glanced at the dish that you served him, it was one of his favorites. You barely cooked it because you expressed how tedious it was. He thought you found the lost time.
"I wont freak out if its bad." he decides.
Knowing you're not going to get the promise you wanted, you nod as you just let the words roll off of your tongue.
"I'm going to New York soon."
"When?" he says immediately back.
"Soon, before the fall."
Smiling a bit but no intent of humor, he is a bit taken aback.
"That's... very close." he says.
"I just found out today while you were gone." you say defensively.
He doesn't say much as he furrows his eyebrows and looks back down at his plate. He's thinking.
"What are you thinking about?" you softly ask as you place a touch on his hand.
"Nothing."
"Liar." you say in a hushed tone.
"How long are you going to be gone?" he asks.
You slowly shrug, feeling a bit shameful for not knowing the definite answer. You felt it was a bit childish.
"And you accepted- wait. Who is in New York again?" he then asks.
"The guy who bought my painting." you explain.
"Oh." he drags out as he scrapes the last remainder of food that was on his plate, bringing it to his mouth, saying it as if he pieced the final piece to a puzzle.
"Do you think Sam will let you go?" you ask as you fold a napkin, over creasing it.
"Sure he would. If hell froze over." he answers.
"Plus, you don't know how long you're going to be gone." he says with his hands out.
Looking down, "I don't know, I thought you would think this is a good opportunity for me." you voice out.
"Y/N, it is. There's just no way in hell he's going to let me go miles and miles away from La Push for god knows how long." he says, if you didn't pay attention, you would’ve missed that there was a hint of somberness in his voice.
Getting up from your seat, his head is now in your arms as you hold it against your stomach. "I really wish you could come."
He doesn't say anything for some time but his arm fits snug around your waist. Once you are about to let him go, he surprises you with, "You're going far. I know I can't go. Can you at least ask someone to go with you?"
You intake a breath for a response but he adds in, "I would feel better knowing someone is going with you at least."
"I can see but..." you say giving him a knowing look. Sam admitted to checking up on Emily while doing errands. It was comical to think they would be able to handle being without each other for long.
He laughs a little, "I know."
"The idea of someone being with me doesn't sound bad, you know. You have to promise me to come with me the next time I go back." you tell him.
He leans up as you lean down, "Deal." he agrees. Instead of shaking on it, you both touch lips on it.
Another day came around as you woke up in bed alone. Covers were tucked tight with you, Paul didn't want you to be cold due to your lack of clothing. The weather was starting to show signs of change. The summer wave is blending into an end. You really had to wear a jacket for temperature purposes and not by fashionable choice.
Sliding it on, you closed the front door as you made you way to return the rest of your checked out books to the local library. You brought the almost finished Wuthering Heights, texting Bella since it was a public place.
"I'm at the library. I wanted to give you something."
You weren't a heartless person. It kind of made you feel bad as you read previous missed texts from Bella, asking you if you can talk on the phone or if you were free.
You tried your best to give Paul the stress free mentality of not dealing with her. Knowing the danger that she was constantly around, you were a bit scared of it rubbing off on you.
She immediately texts back. Not hearing from you in a long time, made her not want to miss an interaction with you.
"Okay. I'm omw"
You waited as you looked around. She didn't take long before she pushes open the clear entry door and have her chocolate eyes searching for yours.
What surprised you was the hug that she gave you. She pulls back with a nervous chuckle, "I'm sorry. I haven't heard from you in a while, that's all."
"Yeah." you say bringing a nervous chuckle of your own. You extend the book in her direction as she softly smiles.
Her smile fades as she notices that you haven't finished it. She echoes her observation.
"You haven't finished it."
"I know. I'm going out of town and I don't want to lose it or anything." you explain.
She vocalizes two tisks as she looks back at the returned book, "Y/N, give it back to me when you’ve actually read the entire thing."
"I don't even know when I'm coming back." you say, bringing your shoulders up a bit.
Her eyebrows furrow a bit, "Did you change your mind? Are you leaving for college?"
You shake your head, "The power of art."
She smiles again, "That's good. I'm happy for you."
"At least keep it until I get back." you tell her, trying your best to convince her.
"No way. You might need it for the trip going there. Wait, where are you going?"
You hesitated as you thought of her immortal boyfriend finding out.
"Y/N?" she asks again when she doesn't get an answer, but cautiously.
She didn't have to know the exact city or place. Just the state.
Her eyes grow big, "Wow. That's awesome. I've never been."
"Really?" you ask her as you both walk out of the library.
As much as her mother moved around, you were surprised.
"Yeah." she says as a lock of hair moved with her fingers to rest behind her ear.
As you walk her to her truck, she then says, "I'm sure Paul is going to miss you like crazy."
"Yeah. I shouldn’t be gone for too long.”
You hear her sigh as you watch her open a cab door.
"What's wrong?' you ask.
She takes a moment, before continuing, "Do you think.. Never mind." she says.
"What? What is it?" you press on.
"I mean.. It would be nice if I got to get away like you. I really don't want to spend my birthday here. Then, you’re leaving." she says with gloom as she looks around.
"But, you get to spend it with Edward. Besides, I'm sure it's going to be all work with no fun anyhow." you say, trying to shrug it off.
She doesn't say anything but you could easily tell she wanted to.
She instead decides to sit in her driver seat.
"I can drop you back off if you want me to." she says, noticing you don't have car keys.
"The air feels good today."
"Y/N, get in." she says.
Your heart thuds almost out of your chest at the thought of her finding out where you and Paul lived. Afraid of the information she would tell Edward, you decide to play with flipping the script.
"What were you up to? I don't really feel like going home. Paul is out right now." you say as you close the passenger door.
"Doing chores. Fun, huh." she says with dry humor but her eyes still light up.
"Very." you say and both share a series of chuckles.
"Do you want to come over?" she offers. There was hope in her voice. Bella hasn't really made a genuine friend, let alone a human friend, enough to ever ask this question. It felt good to willingly ask this question to someone.
You nod. It was way better than explaining to Paul on why Bella Swan knows where you both live.
Driving on the highway, you both soak in the comfortable silence. For some reason, you felt like you had to get inside of this chick's head.
Sitting crisscrossed on her soft bed, your eyes wander around her bedroom.
You caught sight of the pictures that hung up, kids that definitely went to her school. A picture of her and her father. "Cool mustache" , you thought to yourself. Bella being hugged tightly by Renee as you could feel her carefree nature just by one glance at the picture. A long haired boy next to her was muddy as blush was painted on Bella's cheeks with the boy's arm slung around her shoulder. Taking an extra glance, you notice that she was muddy in the picture as well. A picture that stuck out like a sore thumb out of all of them, was the one with the Cullen boy. If you hadn't seen him in person with her, you would've thought she cut him out of a magazine and glued him next to her.
"So, that's why you were in Seattle." she says as realization hit as you tell her the full story of how this opportunity came about.
You nod your head as she chuckles, "Edward was trying to take me to something fancy, I convinced him to let me eat there."
"Wow." you say.
You then change the subject, “What was your first impression of Edward?”
“Perfect.” she says with a blush.
“You both met a school?” you ask. She nods.
“What about you?” she ask as she jerks her head a bit.
You shrug as you shyly smile, “I thought he was out of my league to be honest.”
A small laugh comes out of her throat as she says, “No, same. I still wonder how Edward finds me interesting.”
“Come on, it’s easy. You’re a pretty girl with a…Pretty guy to match. I’m sure this isn’t your first rodeo.” You say to not let herself feel low standard.
She gives you a look, “He’s my first boyfriend. Plus, guys didn’t look my way. In places like Arizona and California, I’m just another girl.” she explains.
You raise your eyebrows a bit at this. Understanding the rush, “Paul’s mine as well. I guess we’re experiencing relationships for the first time…together.”
A small smile doesn’t leave her face, “Okay, I’m shocked at you. You’re so easy to get along with.”
You shrug.
"I still haven't forgot that you told me you were going to let me peak into your sketchbook."
"I didn't forget." you say you say sweetly and a muffled knock appears at the door.
"I'll be back." she says as she gets up. Not thinking anything of it, you stretch your legs out in her spot until she gets back. Except, she doesn't come back right away.
You move closer to the cracked bedroom door as you hear voices beneath you. Almost being a pro at eavesdropping, you don't let your footsteps touch the ground hard under you as you sit close.
"They're dangerous, Bella." you hear a male voice, almost sounding like bells chiming.
"Well, Y/N's not. She's human. Like me."
"Who's dating someone dangerous, Bella. Who loses their temper faster than we do." the voice says, in that same bell like voice.
It was entrapping, it made you want to hear him speak a long speech, knowing you would never get bored. It was unnatural.
"Edward, that’s not fair. Plus, you won’t even explain why."
"What wouldn't be fair is if something were to happen to you." he says and silence fills the air.
You brace yourself to move, thinking he must've figured out that you're listening in, but luckily, he continues, "I know you're a selfless person, but Alice has been dying to spend more time with you."
Hearing her frustrated and impatient sigh, "Edward, I like spending time with people who have the same interests as me. Being Barbie Bella is tiring." she says.
"I know. You can just talk to her." he says.
"I have. I seriously don't believe for a second that you think she listens."
Silence then trickles into the air again as you give up, not even letting your position be known. It seemed like as soon as you sat on the bed, Bella came back in.
"Who was that?" you ask her.
"Just Edward. Are you hungry? I went shopping this week." she says as if nothing happened.
Wanting to know if your curiosity serves you right, you nod. Following her down the wooden steps, the perfect male is sitting stiffly in the kitchen chair.
Glancing at Bella, she opens her mouth, "Y/N. Edward. Edward, this is Y/N."
It was as if he tried to figure something out, as you kept your eyes on him. You didn't say anything. It reminded you of the look of concentration that he displayed when you saw him and Bella in Seattle.
"Hello." he says politely, but something in his actions felt like he wanted to say more.
"Goodbye." you say and you turn to Bella, "I should get going."
"You just got here. Please." she says, her eyes screaming for you not to go. Her hand even takes the extra length to be placed on your arm as you try to turn on your heels.
Sighing, you hated being in uncomfortable situations. You definitely didn't sign up to be a third wheel.
"I'll just be in the living room." you tell her. She's pleased with this.
"Cool. I can um.. Start dinner for Charlie then." she says with a small smile.
Giving her a tight smile you drop it as your back is faced towards her. Flopping on the couch, you press the buttons on the remote. Not knowing what to put on, you just let Animal Planet run its course. You didn't have to think.
The narrator finishes up the showing of the son of a lion being kicked out of the pride. The melodramatic music begins as the son has no choice but to leave and wander along the edges of established territories.
"They do it. If there's potential competition." the melodic voice speaks out, you jump a bit as you didn't hear him come in the living room. Out of you peripheral vision, you catch a glimpse of him as he sits stiffly on the other end of the couch.
You could still hear Bella tinkering about in the kitchen.
"I would say cool but.." you say as you impatiently wait for the commercial break to end.
"All it is, is nature." he says back.
You take a quick look at him. You wished you didn't. The amber eyes stared back at you with so much focus, it was uncanny.
You look away. You weren't afraid. It was just unnerving. His gaze was both pierce and intense. You weren’t used to something like this since the first time that you met Paul.
“Your eyes.” you just say as you watch the screen advertise paper towels, in a volume that you know only he could hear. You said it with such obvious clarity. The last commercial smoothly transitioned into the next animal’s day in a life.
“What about them.” he says slowly but steadily.
“They’re a bit..” you say and then smirk but shake your head.
“They’re a bit, what?” he pressed on but still coated with detectable persuasion.
“Unusual.” you say square at him and watch as his lips purse a bit at this. His eyebrows wrinkle a bit.
You then take your eyes back to the television screen. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything with Bella right in the kitchen.
“Is that a bad thing?” he asks with great curiosity as the animal’s day on the screen is paced slow.
“It’s an unusual thing.” you say as your eyes follow the vibrant colors of the safari scenery but to your surprise he chuckles a bit as he coolly says, “Hypothetically, you have something about yourself that’s unusual.”
You go silent as you just shrug him off. He then rises as Bella meets him halfway as she entered the room, her face filled with happiness to see him as she forgets her surroundings.
“Never again.” you sigh internally in your head as you rest your knuckle on your cheek as your arm rests on arm of the sofa. It almost felt more intrusive than Sam and Emily.
“I will leave you both be. Your friend is getting bored.” he says with humor but it was also as if he couldn’t wait to have something pinned on you. The smug smile that he tried to hide wasn’t unnoticeable to you. Bella just looked up to him with longing, but Edward held her close with such delicacy. It looked like a hint of a renaissance painting.
You didn’t expect the look of Edward’s face as he caught your eyes, the smugness slowly died down. It was as if he was reading or watching something in your eyes but you feel very unsettled, casting your glance to just Bella.
Bella then catches your eye and has a sign of remembrance as she then takes a shy hold of your hand as she walks you in the direction of the kitchen.
You felt safe in Bella’s grip but Edward’s eyes burned your skin. He literally watched you the entire way.
“Thank you.” you tell Bella as you politely take a baked treat of hers. She wanted you to try her dinner, but your stomach just couldn’t handle the heaviness of the food due to the lasting effects of Edward. A small desert was passable. It would let you buy time to think of responses if needed be.
She passed your welcomes and you both sit confortably at her table.
“He’s gone and I miss him already.” She says as she chuckles and nervously run a hand through her hair, “Is it like that with you and Paul?”
The fact that she acknowledged Edward’s absence, your tense shoulders dropped as you nod. It was true, you did miss him even at that moment.
Thinking of him, shuddered a wave of confidence through you. You were tired of tiptoeing.
“Do you both have a supernatural connection?” you ask.
She blinks as she looks at you with a wave of shock.
“Bella. It’s okay. I know Edward is not really human.” you carefully say as she still try to peddle through the river of denial.
She stutters out, “How? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You are so not leaving me here by myself in this world.” you say to her and it shuts her up.
Her face goes even as she then looks down and then around. She shakes her head a bit as she lets out a small breath, “So, is Paul..?”
You didn’t want to deep dive into his abilities with someone who was dating his opposition.
“Something of that sort. But promise me something please.” you say.
She nods.
“Don’t tell Edward that…I know.” you say.
She nods again but speaks, “He can’t read my mind anyway.”
You make a gesture of not knowing what she’s talking about. She makes it crystal clear. You then wondered, what did he see in your mind? It shouldn’t have been too much since you spoke out to him directly, but you just didn’t know for sure yet.
“Lucky you.” you say as she lightens her mood, feeling relaxed and at ease again.
“I feel like it’s good that we’ve met. I mean it’s nice to know someone who’s like me, a human, who just knows what it’s like to keep secrets. Especially, about stuff like this.” she says with great relief.
You give her a smile as she has her feel of gratefulness.
Her hand stayed on the steering wheel as she looked over to you. Not only did common interests overlap with one another, she liked having you around a lot. You felt bad about the idea of completely cutting her off.
“Text me.” she says as you push open her truck door.
“Okay.” you say back as your feet touched the pavement of the beach parking lot.
Sitting on the rocks, your mind wandered free as dusk began to settle in. You call Paul but there’s no answer. He’s still not home by the time you walk back.
You felt a sense of lonesome, the shower that you took didn’t soothe you. Stealing Paul’s pillow, you clutch it close to you as his faint smell of him dance in your nostrils.
It was very dark but there a luminary light that pushed your footsteps forward. Walking towards it, you felt a strong hand try to pull you back but one hand started to multiply. Soon, hands were trying their best to keep you from going into the light that you were walking in.
You woke up with such urgency, you almost didn’t notice Paul smushed into you. Sighing in relief and tracing your hand on his cheek, he stirs in his sleep. As you let your mind play a supercut of your dream, Paul’s eyes slowly but tiredly blinks open as he catches a glimpse of your unsettled demeanor.
Reaching to kiss your jawline, he makes sure that you’re okay.
You nit pick at the breakfast in front of you. Paul watched your movements without saying anything.
“I think I’m going to stay back.” you say to the silent air.
“What?” he says, as if you were crazy. You don’t say anything as you watch your breakfast instead of eating it.
“Look, you don’t have to take someone with you I was just-“ he starts, but you didn't like the way that his eyes showed how he blamed himself, you cut him off.
“It’s not about that. I don’t know. I just feel like….” you say but sigh out as your shoulders hunch a bit.
“What is it?”
“I really want you to be the one to come with me.” you just quietly say.
He takes your hand. “Believe me, I feel the same.” he says.
Your mind goes to thinking again. You really want to tell Paul that Edward has an ability. It scratches at your brain. You wondered if this was something that he knew. But, the millions of questions would come and he’s been trusting you more. If he found out that you were around Edward to know, things would go back to square one.
“I'm so fucking tired.” he comments. You look up and see that he’s telling the truth. The bags under his eyes show proof of his claim.
The hand that he still had in his, rose to up and your lips place a kiss on the back of his.
"Can we trade places?" you say to make him feel a bit better.
"No way. Let your passion be the only thing that stresses you out." he says seriously. He rises as he announces his departure. Crushing you close to him, you gladly drink him in to the point where he had to be the one to unwillingly pull away.
Sitting at the kitchen table, you doodled in your pad to blow off the thoughts in your head. Barely paying attention to the direction of your strokes. It wasn't until you reached for your eraser, is when you look at the small picture that you drew.
The eyes were very familiar and striking. You tear out the page as you crumble it tight and toss it in the trash. All it did was bring out the memories of what those eyes held. A certain face floated in your head so you tried your best to distract yourself.
Calling Emily, you find out that she’s home. You smile at this. Your smile fades when she then drops, "Kim is here."
Retracting your interest, "Okay, well, I guess I will talk to you later."
Hanging up with her, you figure fresh, cool air should help you take your mind off of things.
You walk outside, the wind blowing as you take your time with your steps. Headphones were snug on your ears as you listened closely to the lyrics. The song, you and Paul’s song, came on and soothed you. You both came a long way since then. Your mind travels as you sit on the cliffs.
As you let the piece of charcoal glide in your small booklet, a quote stuck out to you.
“Hypothetically, you have something about yourself that’s unusual.”
Whatever that means. But what did it mean? Was it just a get back for your comment? The color was unusual. But most of all, you felt frustrated that all you wanted to do was clear your head but your mind kept going back to your interaction with Edward Cullen.
You scribbled frustratedly on the page, cursing for him taking up the space in your mind. It started to slowly turn into bitterness. Even his smug demeanor that he displayed the previous day was even on loop. As badly as you wanted to shake him off, you just couldn’t.
Sliding your headphones off while they were leaking with music, you let out a deep sigh. You definitely weren’t going to stay here and miss out on leaving town.
“Can you please at least come for dinner? I haven’t seen you in so long :( “
You read Emily’s text as you made your way down the cliffs. You were there for a while. Not responding, you just walk to her home.
Opening the door, the aroma of the supper that she cooked, smacked right into you.
Her body soon followed as she hugged you tight. “It’s been so long!” she gushes, happy to see you. Hugging her back, you squeeze her to let her know that you missed her as well.
Sam says hello to you as you touch his shoulder in passing. Moving into the living room, you find Paul sitting on the same sofa as Jared.
Wrapping yourself up with Paul, Jared jokes how a hello to him would be nice.
“Sorry.” you replied with nervous laughter. You didn’t get a chance to talk much after, Paul’s finger guides your face to his as he gets a taste of you.
“The bedroom is that way.” you hear an unpleasant voice suddenly say.
Ignoring it, you didn't even notice Jared telling her silently to stop.
You rise as you take Paul’s hand with you to sit at the eating table next to you.
Thank goodness the conversation was light but you were still silent, besides laughing at Paul’s humorous remarks that he would throw out.
You stood at the sink as laughter was floating out of the living room. Taking the dish out of the soapy water, you began to scrub with a sponge as the headphones softly sang songs in your ears.
With the dishes done, you go into the living room to join everyone.
Your phone drops out of your pocket as you move to sit next to Paul.
Kim moves to pick it up, she steals a discreet look at the notification that came across your screen. This action goes unnoticed as she stretched her phone out to you.
As much as didn’t want to, you mutter out a thanks. Paul moves your body to plop you onto his lap.
“Congratulations, by the way. Paul told us about your upcoming trip.” Jared tells you with a supportive smile. You gladly tell him thanks.
“What trip?” Kim asks. You say nothing as Sam just says, “She’s been a graced a wonderful opportunity.”
“How come no one’s told me?” she questions but the looks that went her way let her know that she couldn’t have been serious.
“Because we didn’t.” Paul impatiently says to get to her to be quiet so he can focus back on the television.
She scoffs a bit as she says, “I’m sure she told Bella Swan all about it.”
“Are you serious right now?” Jared asks her. You felt a bit bad that he was feeling irritated. Noticing the slight change in his normal vibrant self, he seemed defeated and had no ounce of optimism left.
“I am. She drops me for some vampire lover. I’m offended.” she explains.
“Kim, if you’re not going to control yourself, you have to go. We’re choosing peace tonight.” Sam tells her.
Kim sits back with her arms folded like an immature child as the only thing that was left to be heard in the room was the action on the television.
You volunteer to fill the popcorn bowl to escape the tension. You missed being over here a lot and you tried your best to not let a certain someone ruin it for you.
You check your notifications and it was a proposition from Bella.
“My birthday is in a few days and was wondering if it could be just us if you’re still here. I don’t want to do anything over the top.”
You type back, seeing indeed that the month of September had arrived.
“I honestly would have to let you know.”
The microwave beeped as you pulled the hot bag out and carefully rip it open. You shuffle out the contents into the bowl and hold it as you make your way back into the living room.
You hand Emily the bowl as you let yourself fall gracefully onto Paul’s lap.
Paul’s hand had a mind of their own as the darkness hid him circling your belly. Leaning back further on him, you thought nothing of it.
His hips did one smooth shift as your body rolled with him, an electrifying feeling, shot through you.
It was a bold move as his hand never leave the spot he had it placed but you sit up a bit, still feeling him beneath you.
You catch a peak at his face when he stares back at you with audaciously.
“I think we’re going to head out. Paul could barely keep his eyes open.” you say as you watch his face slowly turns into a smirk.
“Aw? Already?” Emily asks crestfallen.
You “help” him up with your hand as he rises from his spot.
“You know the time for tomorrow, right?” Sam asks Paul.
Paul stretches his limbs out as he nods.
It was your turn to stretch the limbs of your arms. Your hands were filled with the wrinkled sheets that were tight under your grip.
Paul’s hands caressed the skin of your back as your body rocked back and forth on his sleek stiffness. It scraped deliciously in your insides as your breathe out as name. His grunts were heavy as he then whispered out, “Shittt.”
He pulls back and emptied himself on the sheets as his hand couldn’t catch all of himself.
As you fit a clean sheet on the bed, you speak out with mellowness, “We shouldn’t do it raw anymore.”
He takes a glance at you as he speaks back, “Why? You don’t like how it feels?”
A heated feeling in your cheeks scorched as you smooth out the side that you tucked, “N-no. I mean, I do.”
“Then what’s wrong?” he chuckles a bit as he tosses a pillow onto the bed.
“You almost came in me.” you tell him in a small voice, you both have been intimate many times but talking about sex with him still brought shy, fluttery feelings.
“I always pull out in time.” he says with confidence.
“It only takes one time. And you didn’t …One time.” you say as you remembered the time when you woke up to both of you still intertwined. You’ve never felt so amalgamated with him. As vice as it seemed, it felt so good.
“I can smell when you’re ovulating.” he says casually and lays back on his side of the bed, looking to you to join him.
“I just don’t.. Want any mistakes.” you tell him cautiously as you cover yourself with the large cover.
“Do you want any mistakes, someday?” He asks as he pulls you to snuggle against his warmth.
“I don’t know. At least, not now.” you tell him with gentle shrug. You then look to him to watch his face, which was full of contentment. “What about you?” you ask him.
“To be honest, yeah.” he says and you feel trapped in his gaze as the honest truth shone through. He then reached over to turn the lamp off.
Early the next morning, you decided to take it easy by staying in. It was raining hard and the wet leaves stuck to the sidewalk and the streets.
It’s been a while since you’ve used your good paint and just went to work on a wooden canvas that you forgot you had. Halfway through making the inchoate, rainy, autumn scenery, you’ve decided to give this as a gift to Bella.
After you spread clear varnish onto your work, you decided to check your email.
A subject message stops you dead in your tracks.
The name alone stopped you in your tracks.
ALICE CULLEN
SURPRISE PARTY INVITE !
Not even clicking on it, you scroll. There was just no way you were going that deep.
Clicking on another inbox message, John had sent your ticket. You check the dates and see that you’re going to be gone for an entire week. You’ve also seen that you were leaving two days after Bella’s birthday. Sitting back with your arms crossed, you look at her gift.
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nadas-dirthalen · 2 days ago
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A Veilguard Achievement Icon Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore... but Was I Right?
PART TWO: What Veilguard Did Narratively, and What That Tells Us Going Forward
[ 1 ]
Hello again, friends and travellers. Now that I've beaten Dragon Age: the Veilguard, I wanted to go through all those 30,000 words of predictions that I wrote in the ~11 days leading up to its release. I'd seen an achievement icon that pieced together a lot of Dragon Age lore for me.
But, I hadn't played Veilguard. All I had was the footage from September 19, the achievement list, and anything else BioWare had released.
So... was I right? And if so, how much was I right about?
This is your warning:This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.
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(my davrinmance is going great as i try and collect every codex, thanks for asking!)
Today's Discussion: to Understand Dragon Age, We Must Understand Its Writing.
Before I can go any further on why I think the way that I think, or why I imagine the story might take us in certain directions, it's essential that you all understand where I'm coming from. Veilguard, like any game, is a piece of art. Its bones are built with similar narrative structures to novels (though not identical, and that's important!). To make sense of what's to come, we must examine Veilguard's bones the same way.
I've seen a lot of people wondering why, for instance, the Inquisitor is not Veilguard's protagonist. I've seen people lamenting the fact that there were not on-screen clarifications of popular lore theories. Before this series goes any further, I need to say my piece about why I believe that it was essential that Veilguard was written as it was, and why its writing does in fact help us better predict Dragon Age's path forward moreso than even Inquisition.
That said, today I hope to cover:
What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why
The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters
The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens
The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games
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What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why
Let's get this out of the way right away: it has been 10 years since Inquisition. And, like it or not, that means one gigantic thing for BioWare: if they wanted to have any hope of making more Dragon Age, they needed to bring in new players and resuscitate the interest of many old players who did not stay in the fandom the whole time. They didn't—and couldn't—write Veilguard specifically for you or I, people of Tumblr. If they did, it would've pleased us... and then cost them so much money that we'd never get any more Dragon Age.
That doesn't just mean modernizing the game's aesthetics, or providing a glossary in its Codex. It means they would have to balance all of the following (just at a glance):
Managing the learning curve in general. Not even I looked in the glossary as I played. Me, supreme enjoyer of all codices ever. It's just not something most players are ever going to do, as much as it the lore is such a fundamental part of the game in general. That means simplifying terms where possible — elven gods in place of Evanuris, for example — but also trimming down what would have to necessarily reference past games. Only a tiny fraction of the fanbase has played Inquisition in the last 3 years, nevermind this year.
Recontextualizing the lore. That does not mean rebooting it, it means situating all we have learned so far in a framework that fits all we have learned so far. Much of what we learned about the Evanuris seemed, for so long, to be totally separate for the things we knew about the blight and Blights. Veilguard needed to show us how those things relate, and to do so in a fresh context that would allow everyone to develop new understanding.
Pushing us one step past Inquisition's knowledge. Veilguard, after reframing the lore, had to leave us a path for new lore, and increased understanding. I think the devs put it really well when they say that their aim is to give us some answers, but leave us with even more questions. More on that later, and in future posts.
Updating Thedas' ethos. Let's face it. It has been 15 years since Origins came out. The things that were more typical of scifi/fantasy (SFF) then are just not the same now, and would not be perceived by 2024 players in the same way as by those who started Origins in 2009. The world has changed; our cultural understandings are broadening and need to continue broadening. BioWare is doing a good thing by incorporating things like nonbinary identities into Veilguard, and it is good that Veilguard is progressing the world of gaming in that way, especially considering its success. (This is also, I wager, why we choose an Archon out of two choices who want the same thing, rather than leaving that open to a more "evil" option).
Dislodge older fans from their Solas headcanons to get everyone old and new to the same confusion and potential distrust. Hear me out. Everyone who's stayed since Inquisition has beliefs about Solas. Even me, who got here in March of this year, whose fic reads overly soft now because I just didn't know Solas' grander plan until 48 hours before Veilguard came out. Everyone has had headcanons for so long that everyone has had time for their opinions of Solas to cement themselves. In order for Veilguard to work as a story, they had to debunk what everyone thought they knew: both lovers and haters of the famously controversial egg. By breaking down our existing beliefs, the devs open up essential curiosity from the players as to who—and what—Solas really is, which propels us through the narrative and has us absorbing information.
And this curiosity? It is why Veilguard could not have the Inquisitor as its protagonist. To keep us curious as players (and "readers" of the lore), BioWare needed a new protagonist.
Specifically, they needed Rook.
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The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters
Here's the thing. The protagonist is not just the face of the game. They are our vehicle to understanding that game. The plot follows their wants and responds to their understanding. What they don't know, what they want to know, is what makes up our every objective. Their emotional journey through the game is our emotional journey through the game. Following it, going after the things that matter to our protagonist, is how the entire game (including its lore) takes shape in our minds.
That's why it's essential that they don't know everything—especially after a ten year interim between games.
Veilguard's plot and twists proved that the Inquisitor did not know everything. They, in fact, knew less than half of everything. If we had kept them as the protagonist, all of our knowledge and curiosity would be shaped by the Inquisitor's understanding: a wrong understanding. We could constantly be fighting with what we think the Inquisitor should know, what should be true because we had seen it through the Inquisitor. We would be set up to be at odds with the very events of the game. Rook is a blank slate, barring a few key tonal indicators, and that blank slate allows for us to fit all previous lore into its new, recontextualized shape that I mentioned above. (Again, note that I am not saying rebooted.)
That, and Rook has multiple motivations. The Inquisitor is focused largely on stopping or saving Solas; Rook is charged with figuring everything out as it is happening to them in real time with almost no context or experience, AND stopping or saving Solas. The Inquisitor has existing allies and resources; Rook does not. Rook must build their own campaign from the ground up, and that means the player is building their own experience from the ground up. Their allies, abilities, and home base, yes, but also their knowledge. Discovering things at the same pace as Rook, with a similarly urgent drive to do so, keeps the game from infodumping at us. It keeps the reveals evenly spaced, but also immediately interesting to the player.
And best of all? Rook allows the writers to do what they want to Solas without breaking his dynamic with the endless sea of Inquisitors (or, at least, with way less risk of doing so). We needed to have our theories about him broken down and rebuilt as players; to do that to the Inquisitor would damage an entire sea of headcanons. We'd never get the Solavellan ending we wanted, for instance, if Solas had played mind games with Lavellan for that many months. And if Solas didn't do those things, if he'd been wholly defanged, he would have lost his appeal and importance in the narrative. He wouldn't be the Dread Wolf in the ways that matter to Veilguard.
It's important, then, that Rook has just the slightest bit of backstory. They care about their allies. They are not a potential political force like the Inquisitor. They have many options to be impulsive. Every single Rook has rebelled against authority. Every single one has a stubborn streak. BioWare put all those qualities there on purpose, because Solas uses every single one, in every single Rook, as a tool. That was all essential for his character development in this game! At the same time, they couldn't do that with the Inquisitor as protagonist, because after 10 years, no two Inquisitors are similar enough to predict/script their actions and responses in that way.
Those twists are perhaps the most important tool for forward momentum in the game. The more they keep us guessing, the more we'll play and seek new information, the more we'll learn. Which brings me to...
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The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens
Like I said: BioWare couldn't just infodump at us in Veilguard. It wouldn't be interesting to even half the fans that stayed, these ten years. To keep us engaged as players, they had to string the lore through a series of engaging events. Keep the momentum up, so we would not be lazily looking over codices, but chasing new knowledge and understanding. It all had to be emotionally relevant and resonant to keep us caring, because very few people play games they don't care about.
Veilguard, like a lot of written art, follows the three act structure. Though there are a lot of variants on the more precise beats, they all broadly follow the same-ish path.
Hook: The opening image. In Disney movies, this is the song where the character sings about all the things they want in their journey, and what they truly need is only implied. It gives an opening note for the theme by showing what the character lacks, and what they might need to gain before defeating the final villain. In Veilguard, this is our prologue, centered entirely around Varric: the big red herring where we see that Rook is out of their depth, opting to push over a support beam rather than take on the Dread Wolf. Off-screen, it is also the background information about Rook, showing us who they are and what they want before we play.
Inciting Incident: The event that kicks off the main plot. In DA:tV, there's a big collection of these (because every companion needs one; we'll get to that). The first big one is, of course, the failed ritual. The death Rook doesn't see. The Evanuris are freed, but Rook has only half the information.
First Plot Point: "Plot Point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak. This is the moment the protagonist decides to go forth on their adventure. In video games, this is more or less determined for you, but you have the option to flavour this moment in Veilguard. You can choose how to tell Solas that you'll do what he wants: either by appeasing him or angering him. You do the same for Neve and Harding afterward, and then again in Arlathan and D'Meta's Crossing. You state that you're doing this, no matter what it takes.
First Pinch Point / "The Setback": "Pinch" means "twist" in writer-speak. It's the first time the narrative is shaken up, and is also usually the first time we see the true scope of the villain. In Veilguard, the first big twist has been called "the Setback" by some of the devs (notably, I heard it at a panel in September). For Veilguard, this is Weisshaupt. We see the true scope of Ghilan'nain's horrors, but we also see the first BIG hints (outside of Varric) that Solas is manipulating us—because he really doesn't seem to hate the Wardens as much as Inquisition enjoyers like myself expected. This event concludes act 1.
"New World" / "Fun and Games": The devs have remarked that they wanted to see the tone of their setback (Weisshaupt) threaded through the rest of the game, and we do: through Davrin and Lucanis' banter, through the reflections on the consequences of Weisshaupt, through every character struggling with their confidence and identity after that point, through the blight getting worse and worse and worse. That's what the New World is: the characters getting used to new circumstances after that first big twist. The Fun and Games are the slow and steady recovery from the twist, warming and solidifying formerly tenuous relationships. This is where we do a lot of companion and faction quests.
Midpoint: In a narrative that ends in a victory (so most games ever), the midpoint is a false victory. We think we've nailed something, only for something else to happen that begins to seed doubt in the protagonist's capability and/or ability to solve the plot. For Veilguard, this is the blighted dragon fight: we think we've got Ghilan'nain, but then Elgar'nan shows up and demonstrates that Rook is in so, so over their head.
Second Pinch Point: The second twist. The villain's identity is crystal-clear, and by now we've definitely interacted with the villain more directly. This is Arlathan, Elgar'nan's mind-trap—and Solas' "rescue" of Rook, showing his duplicity in full. Elgar'nan notably says a line about not falling for Fen'Harel's tricks again, and it foreshadows what we will see of Solas.
Disaster / Crisis: This is the event that triggers the protagonist's downward spiral. Not a twist (necessarily), but a catastrophe. In Veilguard's case, it's both: the Ghilan'nain fight leaves one companion dead-dead and another presumed dead. Then, the twist: Solas using Rook's sharply felt regret to pull his gambit and swap places with them. A series of events that literally had me gasping so frequently I got dizzy. Thanks, BioWare :) Many people say that this event, or something between this event and the "All is Lost" beat, conclude act 2. For games, the pacing is sometimes different, as is the cutoff mark, because otherwise the third act has the potential to be very short.
"All is Lost" / The Dark Night of the Soul: It's exactly as the name suggests: all has been lost. The protagonist doubts themself completely. It seems like nothing more can go wrong, and like nothing might ever go right again. The protagonist is at a loss for how to move forward. In Veilguard? Varric is dead. Davrin/Harding is dead. Bellara/Neve is dead. Rook is literally trapped not only in their regret, but in a reflection of Solas' regret. And to get out, they'll need...
"The Epiphany" / Second Plot Point: "Plot point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak, as stated above. Only this one contains more layers than the first. This is where the thematic statement of the piece comes out: the lesson that the protagonist must learn is stated, clearly, for all of us to see. It is the thing that picks them up off the ground, giving them strength to face the climax and the danger it promises. In Veilguard, this is Varric saying to Rook, "Have you learned nothing here?" and reminding both Rook and player that he chose this; Rook's companions chose this; we cannot blame ourselves for the actions of others. We cannot carry grief for other people, or we'll drown in it. Sound like any other character we know?
Climax: The big fight! But also, the big moment where the theme is shown to be the narrative key. In every ending of Veilguard, Rook being Solas' perfect mirror is the key to winning the day against the Dread Wolf. It just depends on what facet of Solas Rook chooses to mirror: the trickster, the nasty combatant, or the person who was haunted by their own failings and lost companions.
Resolution: Narrative threads are tied up, or a promise is made to tie up those loose ends in future installations. Veilguard's credits do both of those things. :)
Why am I telling you all of this? Because the lore must follow that skeleton. Every reveal we get must fit into both the timing and the feeling of those events. It would not fit to suddenly drop everything about the Titans right after Rook gets to the Lighthouse, which is why those enemies you need to kill to get the last memories are level 30-40. It would not fit to uncover everything about the blight's origin before Weisshaupt. If they forced us into that as players, all the casual fans and new players would duck out, feeling overwhelmed.
Even for us older fans, narrative structure shapes significance. You can tell a lot about a codex's overall importance and tone just by understanding where you find it, and when. That's why the Trespasser codices carry so much weight, even the ones about the Evanuris' actions that we don't see on screen at all: they are at the bitter end, and so they carry all the bitterness, longing, and mourning of that ending. Without the context of Trespasser, they mean less.
This is also why Veilguard paces its companion quests this way, not allowing you to complete them until later in the game. Every companion has something to teach us, and BioWare wanted to give each companion's narrative the weight it deserved.
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The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games
Anyone who's played Inquisition knows that companion quests shape entire facets of the lore in individual games, as well as set us up for the trajectory of the next games. Just look at Solas and Cole: together, they shaped our whole understanding of spirits in Veilguard. They set us up to ask all the right questions about not only spirits being bound as demons (Solas' quest), but about spirits being able to manifest in physical shape (Cole's quest). Together, their narrative conclusions foreshadowed much of the Evanuris' reveals in Veilguard: that they were spirits who could manifest into corporeal shape, and that they had the ability to ask others to manifest—and then bind them.
Again, these quests are paced throughout Inquisition's main plot. You cannot do their before Skyhold, and you cannot do them after the cutoff of (I believe) the Temple of Mythal. Inquisition forces you to see those quests' endings in the exact right spot: sometime around the midpoint (Adamant/WEWH), but before the disaster/dark night (the Temple of Mythal). They do that so you will feel that those things are significant.
Veilguard does the same thing. Every companion has a facet of the lore attached to it, but you cannot follow those threads to their conclusions at the beginning of the game. The game won't let you, because the moments need to be spaced out properly and carry the necessary emotional weight. Not all of their quests promise speculative material for future games in the same way, because some explain the context of the current game (Varric, in DAI, accomplished both with the red lyrium content, for instance; Leliana, meanwhile, dealt with the theme of faith in DAI and did not promise future speculation).
These concepts will all get far more attention in due time, but in short, here's what I think is associated with each companion:
Harding: Titans! But also, angry titans, and the difference between "angry titan" and "source of blight." In the same vein, what the dwarves should do going forward, and where they should place the titans in their culture.
Neve: The soul of Veilguard; her narrative is very current to DA:tV, in my early understanding. But she brings forth a lot of nuance to the themes of regret, and what that regret looks like on a smaller scale (a city, rather than a world). She does a lot of work in showing us that regret is regret, no matter the scale, and that the work we do to do better matters, no matter the scale. Additionally, her personal quest foreshadows Solas' use of blood magic against us being more than we thought by showing off Aelia's puppets, suggesting to us (tonally) that Rook may be Solas' puppet.
Bellara: The Forgotten Ones!! Anaris! Also, the place of ancient elvhenan in the future of Thedas, and what the elves should do/feel going forward.
Lucanis: I think they were going for some Forgotten One/Forbidden One hints, judging by some notes from the Ossuary and some banter between Lucanis and the others. This needs more dissection. Lucanis sort of does both what Bellara and Neve do: the Forgotten Ones, and also the heart of Veilguard's theme, with a lot of found family vibes thrown in.
Davrin: The blight itself, and the future of the blight without any archdemons left to cause capital-B Blights. Thedas' path to healing its nature.
Emmrich: The nature of what spirits are. I need to go screencap more specifics, but I swear this necromancer has referenced the difference between spirit and human soul and has stumbled upon saying that the two might not be so different at least once. Also, the Formless One centers around the Necropolis, and I'm thinking "spirits seeking bodies" and this whole idea of unlife/undeath is going to be explored later.
Taash: Remember how I said BioWare needed an ethos update? I think we see that most predominantly in Taash, whose entire personal quest is an examination of the values and priorities of different cultures, as well as the place of gender and gender ideology in Thedas. We saw this with Dorian and Krem in DA:I, but Taash modernizes that conversation (10 years has changed a lot!) and brings it front-and-center. At the same time, their existence is referencing (potentially) the Scaled Ones, and showing us that the kossith (Qunari) might have far more ties to Evanuris shenaniganry than we thought—and that those shenanigans did not happen on Thedas, but potentially far across the sea. (Neve and Lucanis accomplish this, also, with the Shadow Dragons and Crows, but not to the degree that Taash does).
This is why the companion quests MATTER, and (at least partially) why the game asks you to complete these quests or suffer consequences in the finale.
You know what else happens, upon completion of these companion quests?
You get codices. In Dragon Age, they are the threads that tie the seemingly disconnected pieces of the plot together, and that's on purpose. This time, they automatically unlock upon completing different stages of companion quests—and as far as I can tell right now, days after completing the game for the first time, the ones revealed later DO contain spicier hints about future lore than those revealed earlier.
And between ALL of these things—the demands Veilguard's timing placed on Bioware, the need for Rook as a protagonist, and the structure for every companion's quests—I think BioWare did an amazing, genius job with their narrative. Yes, I have seen some of the art book content, and yes, it would have been so cool to have those things, but... I truly do not think BioWare needed them, as close as I would have held cameos like Cole to my heart.
From a lore perspective? They knocked it out of the gods-damned park with Veilguard. They did an amazing job with each of their quests, and I promise: there is no shortage of juicy lore to be found in Veilguard. Now that I've inflicted an outline of what I know about stories upon you, I promise: all of this serves as context for everything I look forward to saying in future posts.
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If you got this far, thank you, as always!
This series is going to take a turn toward what I noticed in Veilguard, how I feel that Veilguard adds to my theories (or perhaps debunks some of them), and where I think the series is going to go from here. But in order to write all that properly and miss as little as possible (even though, in November 2024, with no wiki or transcripts, I am guaranteed to miss things), I need to keep playing the game and keep reading the codices I find.
Stay tuned for the next instalments, though I cannot say how quickly they will come after this. <3
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dribs-and-drabbles · 3 days ago
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I'm doing it. I'm standing FIRMLY with Pat and Pran. I respect all y'all's choices but THAT KISS and the whole experience around it was on a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL that even though the Jack and Joker kiss was absolutely STELLAR it sill doesn't come close.
That PatPran kiss changed lives. It led the way for JackJoker.
I remember sat huddled on my sofa watching the end of ep 5 of Bad Buddy hopeful and getting increasingly excited that we were getting a confession! And if we were really really lucky maybe hopefully a kiss! And when Pat leant in and planted that first tentative one on Pran's lips I SQUEALED. We all did. There are reams of videos and text posts that attest to that. It was GROUNDBREAKING. I was so completely satisfied...but then those mutherfuckers went in for more, and goddamn did they go for it. They ATE. So much that they had to AUDIBLY GASP FOR AIR MID-KISS.
With Jack and Joker, I sat watching the end of ep 9 hoping so so much that after the fireworks scene we would AT LEAST get to see Jack and Joker on screen again. At first I wasn't expecting a confession or a kiss and to get both was again so satisfying. But after Jack instigated the conversation about Rose and already having someone he liked I knew it was coming. Even so, I loved the build up, the teasing and delight from both of them, LOVED IT - War does that especially well - but for me (and those three words are important here!), for me the first time I watched it I thought the kiss was too fast, too rushed, too 'horny first kiss' rather than the languid 'oh my god I've been in love with you for so long I can't believe I get to have this' first kiss which I would have preferred (and which Pat and Pran did so well). I think the difference for me is that Jack and Joker felt like a physical connection (evidenced by the implication the kiss developed into sex) whereas Pat and Pran's felt like an emotional connection (because it was a culmination of the conversation that led to the kiss). Maybe this preference is the Ace in me 🤷🏽‍♀️
Anyway, I've since watched the JackJoker kiss several times (I haven't quite moved on this week) and I do think it is brilliant but that first time watching just didn't give me the same butterflies and euphoric excitement as the PatPran kiss did. It's been three years and still nothing has come close to that experience.
The competitors
Pat and Pran:
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Jack and Joke:
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*I warned yall I was feeling cruel tonight
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