#since the mods said old works were okay too - this one seemed appropriate

[carabas]

(reposting for @dahalloween’s day for spirits and possession - an old ficlet, but one i never posted to tumblr. Cole tells a knock-knock joke.)

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

He doesn’t know. Varric’s head is full of people who are real and not real and all of them hurt, and Cole doesn’t know how to untangle it. But the knock-knock jokes help.

“Okay, kid, try it again like we practiced.”

“Two pairs beats one pair. Four of a kind beats two pairs. She slips the ace of dragons into a thigh-high boot, calls to the barman for another round. Blondie stares at the table, angry, always angry.”

“Focus, kid. You can't beat four of a kind with bad memories.”

He says the memories are bad, but he doesn’t want to forget them. He wants to spin them into stories, familiar faces hiding behind fake names. Maybe if he tells the story enough times, it'll have a different ending.

Maybe this time when Blondie tries to give him an old and tattered pillow, he sees a message in it. This time he says the right words, and tomorrow Blondie’s dark mood is gone and they’re all back to playing cards. It was just another of Blondie’s bad days. They happen. They pass.

Cheer up, Blondie. You’re making me cry just looking at you.

I almost killed a girl.

You’ve killed two hundred and fifty-four by my last count. Plus about five hundred men, a few dozen giant spiders, and at least two demons.

It’s not the same.

Why? Because this one you feel bad about? Maybe that’s the problem.

Those were the wrong words.

The Hinterlands are burning, and Varric’s adding it to Blondie’s score. Or maybe his own score. He should have found the right words.

Another one for me! How many have you got, Hawke?

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Cole.”

“Cole who?”

“It’s me, Cole. That is my name.”

“No, no. You’re still not getting it. Sorry, kid.”

But hearing the name helps the hurt, because he’s Cole, which means he’s real, he’s a person. And sometimes when Varric looks at him, he’s seeing someone else who was stuck halfway between person and spirit.

Varric asks him how he can fight with all that hair in his eyes, and he raises a hand and pushes it back, but then he stops because Varric’s seeing someone else raising his hands, tying his hair back. Nevermind. Stick with the hat. The hat looks good on you.

In Varric’s memories, he’s keeping the gangs away from the clinic door, and making sure Blondie actually shows up for cards with the guys, and they talk and they joke and they laugh even when it’s just Varric doing the laughing, and he makes sure Blondie remembers to be a person too, not just a cause.

Even when it makes Blondie angry. He is Justice, he says. You can’t claim to support one and not the other.

But Blondie and Justice are as different as the older brother who both is and isn’t here anymore, and Varric doesn’t give a shit about the cause, he just wants his friends to be safe. Well-placed bribes and balls of twine. People and demons always end in trouble. Too many Daisies in this garden.

“I am good, Varric. I am me,” says Cole. “You don't need to worry, but thank you for caring.”

“Al...right? Well, let me know if you ever... er... yeah.”

Cole understands how to tell a knock-knock joke. The punchlines are all there in Varric’s head. But hearing a punchline isn’t what Varric needs. Varric needs to help him be a person.

The jokes work better this way.

“Try it again. You’ll get it.”

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Me.”

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hi! I’ve been following your account for forever, and Ive always been curious as to if there’s a reason it seems there’s far more afab asks than amab asks?

Lee says:

One thing I’ve noticed on the blog is activity begets activity; when I (or any mod) answer a lot of asks, a lot of new asks come in because people are seeing our blog and encouraged to interact with us. In slow weeks, when the mods are busy and there aren’t many things posted, we don’t get as many questions. This can become a cycle; if we don’t post anything, nobody sends us an ask so we don’t post anything. The same thing happens to the AMAB mods.

So we do get some AMAB asks, but the AMAB mods on this blog aren’t as active as us AFAB mods are and therefore we get fewer AMAB asks and therefore the AMAB mods are less active… and so on.

To break the not-enough-questions part of the cycle, the AMAB mods asked us (the AFAB mods) to not answer the AMAB questions or they’ll have nothing to do, so instead we should save the AMAB asks to the drafts for them.

That way the AMAB asks don’t get lost in the inbox and they can easily locate AMAB asks when they’re ready to answer a question and just hop to it. 

But because said AMAB mods aren’t very active on the blog, we have like 400 AMAB asks saved in our drafts. So we keep drafting new AMAB asks, but very few end up leaving the drafts.

Our Meet the mods! page lists our current AMAB mods:

Ryn [x] they/them/theirs or she/her/hers (auxiliary)

Ryn is 21 years old and identifies as non-binary transfeminine (non-binary trans woman? Who knows). They have been to everyone for almost two years now, and (as they like to put it) in a closet with an open door for a few years before that (out to a few people). They are a white, amab, queer person with a history of mental illness. They are currently studying biology, archaeology, and music at a small liberal arts college in upstate New York. Ryn still isn’t sure what Disney character they’d be, but for now, they’ll go with Violet from the Incredibles.

Callie [x] she/her/hers

Callie is a 19 year old pansexual amab trans girl. She is from Alberta, but currently lives in Southern Ontario where she is attending university. She is Chinese and Canadian First Nations. She has some mental illness and chronic skin problems. She enjoys the game magic: the gathering and playing and listening to music and is an aspiring stand up comedian. If she were a Disney Character, she would be BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Harper [x] she/her/hers

Harper is a 22 year old trans lesbian from England. She came out on 21/04/2017 and is started hrt 14/04/2019 and is currently on the NHS waiting list. She’s a keen student of English literature, transpoetics, and leftist political theory, especially when it concerns being trans. She is white and able-bodied. She loves puppies and gucci and communism and her wife.

Pat [x] they/them/theirs can answer in Spanish

Pat is a 19-year-old nonbinary person who lives in Texas. They are Mexican/Native-American and loves writing, acting, making Youtube videos, and their cat Hera. Pat does not plan on medically transitioning, but is feminine presenting and AMAB.

Pat is disabled and is diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, and they are currently being treated for both.

Any questions for Pat can be sent to their personal blog.

Charlotte [x] She/her/hers

Charlotte is a 16 year old gay (??) AMAB trans girl who feels cute sometimes. She’s been dealing with unmedicated ADHD, depression, and anxiety up until recently, and is okay with answering any ask related to those topics. They’re currently pre-everything but plan on getting hormones and vaginoplasty in the future. They’re out as trans nearly everywhere, excluding extended family, for better or for worse.

Alexandra [link missing] She/her/hers

Alexandra is 14, AMAB, pre-everything, genderflux, Black, and omnisexual.

Autumn [link missing] she/her/hers

Autumn is a 19 year old non-binary trans woman who lives in Oklahoma. She is white, AMAB, cupiosexual, and lesbian. She had bottom surgery in 2015 and has a lot of experience with hormone therapy complications.

Autumn and her body enjoy the lovely and disabling company of many chronic and mental illnesses. She has personal experience with psychotic, mood, and eating disorders. She also has a genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and associated comorbidities (POTS, MCAS, GP, etc). She has been institutionalized, and is on medication.

Autumn is Jewish, training a service dog, dorky, and loves pizza and puns so much (like way too much). She is happy to answer any appropriate questions regarding anything she has experience with.

Kay [link missing] they/them/theirs or she/her/hers

Kay is a 19/yo trans woman who began to come out as late as 18 years old.  She considers herself pansexual as her feelings aren’t defined by the body or the parts someone has. She is white, American, and has spent a majority of her life in Ohio.  She identifies as she, but for personal purposes and comfort she tends to go by “they” when faced with unfamiliar people. She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder in 2015 after spending a week in a hospital for a psych evaluation.  For Kay, Makeup and hair has been a normal thing, but, as of August 2017, she made the first small steps to fully transitioning with appointments to a trans councilor.

Kay loves her dog Roxie and her cats Buzzy and Socks.  She also has a bit of an obsession with the Forza Motorsport series… For some reason.

Roxie [x] she/her/hers

Roxie is a white, able-bodied, perisex, 19 year old trans woman from the UK. Technically she’s non-binary (166% woman, y'all) but she mostly doesn’t identify that way any more. She’s also a lesbian, so shout out to that! She’s been out the closet as trans since February 2016, and is currently working on getting put on E after years of asking.She has ADHD, and has known so for the vast majority of her life, and she’s autistic, too, which she has known since she was thirteen. She’s heavily involved with disability rights, and helps moderate a tightly-knit disability community on Skype (message her if you’re interested!). She’s also mentally ill… somehow. She’s still working that one out, if she’s quite honest.By occupation, Roxie is a librarian (libresbian? lesbrarian? We’ll work on that one.) and an actress in a youtube webseries with an overwhelmingly LGBT cast. In her spare time, she reads Marvel Comics, kicks butt as Pharah in Overwatch, and goes clubbing with her friends. If she were a Disney character, she would be Princess Star Butterfly, from Star Vs. The Forces of Evil.

———————————

If you have a question for a particular mod, @ them at the start of your ask- that makes it more likely that they’ll answer you!

[sydesplitter]

Worst-Selling Tell-All

So, I’m new to tumblr. If you’re around the Wyrmrest Accord forums, you may know me as Zenrao. And there’s an okay chance that you despise me. That’s alright. Nothing in this post is meant to change your mind. This post is mainly for me. I’ve seen a lot of things flying around online about what exactly led to my ban from the forums, and for my own sense of closure, I’d like to tell my side. In full. Publicly. I do have photos to go with this, so you know I’m not simply saying “My side of the story is: I think it was unfair”. No, I’m here to actually provide an account of what happened. All screencaps should have dates in them, and will be at the bottom.

I wanted to start by thanking everyone who showed support for me. I wanna make it clear that I not once requested anything be posted on my behalf, directly or indirectly. That being said, it’s nice to know I have friends, and people willing to subject themselves to criticisms and even punishment, to do what they can to stand up for me. I wanna thank them all.

In terms of what actually happened, I will first say: I am an argumentative person. My main gripe in all this is not that I believe I’m not argumentative, or that I think I’ve never contributed to drama or heated debates. I have. That’s an indisputable fact. My complaint is this: tons of people are, but we never share the same punishment. I wanna make that clear. My complaint is not that I never argued, or was sarcastic. It’s that Blizzard institutes a one crime, two punishment form of moderation. I DO NOT THINK I AM SPECIAL AND DESERVE AN EXCEPTION. I just want the same treatment as everyone else.

So let’s go back a ways. My first suspension on the forums came when I asked a question, funny enough- about tumblr. It was when things were being censored on tumblr, and people were upset. I asked how much was being removed, and if it was all adult content. This warranted a ban apparently. “Oops,” I thought. “Someone must have made a mistake. Nbd.” Wrong. Upon appealing the ban, I was told that you may not discuss things not WoW-related on the forums, and my suspension would stand. A cursory glance at the forums right now even, shows that this policy is not enforced. Well, for anyone but me, it seems. This suspension left a black mark on my “record” with Blizzard that I would never be permitted to recover from. From there on out, everything from being jokingly mean to a friend, without vulgarity (Hey Ursuola), to saying the word “effed” would grant me increasingly long bans. At one point, as you’ll see below, I was even suspended for simply acknowledging someone claiming child abuse accusations are always fake. Yeah, that really happened.

Each suspension grew more and more frustrating, with each appeal being answered to the cry of “Based on your account’s history, you’re still in trouble.” It was a snowball effect I could do nothing to stop. My frustration came to a head when Blizzard started arbitrarily shutting down threads that criticized the game or company in any way, around the time of the Blitzchung fiasco. One of these threads, which was civil and imo interesting, was discussing the racist caricatures sometimes found in WoW. I responded by creating a thread with as harmless a title I could think of, to make a point. The “Racism is Bad” thread. Technically nonpunishable, but I knew since it was me, Blizzard would bring the hammer down. Sure enough, I was out for a month. The frustrating thing here is- many other threads were made after that, with the same title, but none of those posters were punished in any way. I asked Blizzard why I was being suspended. They simply responded the appropriate actions were taken. I said I understand that part, but why did you feel the actions necessary? They said the appropriate actions were taken. I asked once more. They told me if I asked again, they’d consider it harassment. I still don’t know if this was a legal threat, but I didn’t care enough to find out anymore.

Then we come to last week, when I was allowed back onto the forums by our gracious hosts. I made a comment about a 4 year old asking about calories in a rich preschool I work at. Someone came down on me hard for it (a week later, for whatever reason), and would not drop the subject. I knew what thin ice I was on, and was extremely cautious, attempting to keep things light and non-combative, despite being admittedly frustrated by this person. I was reporting them, but it wasn’t doing anything, and they were pinging me nonstop for about an hour. Since there’s no ignore feature on the forums, I told them to relax, and leave me alone. Well that was it. They DID leave me alone, but about an hour and a half later, I got an email saying I was banned for life. I was frustrated, exasperated, and felt incredibly defeated. I did everything they wanted. Jumped through every hoop they put in front of me, but still, the mods seemed all too eager to jump at the chance.

Arguments happen in almost every thread, and the people doing it are not punished. Shitposting nonsense happens in every thread, and it’s unpunished. I don’t think it SHOULD be. But I do ask why my case is different. Many people find me annoying. Many are happy to see me go. But even those of you who are in that group should be concerned. All it takes is someone using their alts to mass report you, and you’ll get trapped in the same vortex of suspensions that I did. This system is flawed, it is not conducive to a good community, and I believe it should be changed. If you came this far, thanks for reading. I just needed to get all that off my chest.

[team-crtq]

RWBY Volume 5 Episode 5 Review

Mod Quartz here again! Look’s like I was right to choose the first episode in each cycle because DAMN, I drew an interesting episode this time around.

So our episode starts off with Sun and Blake going around trying to convince some of the Fanaus of Meangrie to sign a petition it seems to protect Haven Academia while it seems like the animators are looking for every animal trait they can find to meld with one of the character models. I will give credit to animators that they at least try to give Meangrie’s population some more variety as to show the diverse range of Fanaus that can result in their race. Although some do confuse like the more aquatic Fanaus. Do they have the ability to breath underwater? Can they only live in water? Do they reproduce like mammals or like fish? I get that they can’t go into depth so much since theres so little time but, maybe create a World Of Remnant series to play in the off months to explain more. I’m sure losing one or two episodes of RWBY chibi wouldn’t be much compared to clarifying the lore a bit more.

Any how, while Sun ad Blake try to recruit some people to help them (in which Sun almost recruits an unknowning teen but to be far, he was like a foot taller than him), nobody seems to want to help. As Blake explains, the people who came willingly to Meangrie and weren’t born on the island came because they were sick of the pressure and trials of living with humans and just want to be left alone which makes sense. Why else would you choose to live in DEATH AUSTRALIA other than to get away from people? l though I have to wonder about Blake’s line about “putting the world before themselves” line. Is about the world or the humans? We never see WHY they are being rejected which would help here but sadly, we don’t get anything and that keeps us in the dark.

Blake then goes onto say that Adam’s actions will affect them whether they want it to or not as his actions while speaking on behalf of the Fanaus will make things worse for everyone. And sadly this is true. When there is a bad group of people in any vaguely connected group, they all get ht bwith the bad reputation. That’s why organizations like the KKK are bad: Because not only to they harm people for no real reason but then everyone even vaguely connected to them gets hit with their stigma as well. And considering how the White Fang participated in taking down Beacon, things will get ugly if they take out Haven as well.

Then we have Sun not-too-subtly trying to get to know his competition (I know that probably wasn’t his intention but I couldn’t resist.) And Buddy, even with your following, you are still a way better choice than Douchey McStabbyTerrorist. So Blake goes onto explain why she liked Adam and whys he feels the way about him she does now. She says that she has meet people who are basically the embodiment of words and we get her opinions on the reast of Team RWBY (and Sun) before Adam with Ruby being “purity”, Weiss being “defiance”, Yang being “Strength” and Sun being on the fence with a leaning to “Earnest.” Well the Blake shippers are gonna have a field day with this.

Anyway, she goes onto explain Adam. At first she describes him as Justice then as Passion before settling on Spite. And she makes it clear that it isn’t Rage or Hate like we believed him to be but Spite. Blake talks about how Adam operates, how he refuses equality to instead cause suffering to the world he thinks made him suffer before talking Illa and how Adam’s way of thinking is dangerously contiguous. And that really does make sense. It’s really easy to blame the world for your problems and try to enact vengeance on the world for what it did to you.  It’s easy to see yourself as justified in taking back what was taken from you, “eye for an eye” as the saying goes. But it also brings to mind “eye for an eye and the whole world’s blind”: Adam has gone too far to the point that other people are his victims and can take a shot at his eyes. Thus the cycle would keep going and going and going until the whole world breaks down. It emphasies the need to let go and work for the greater good.

We then hear Blake talk a bit about Illa, how she admired Illa for fighting in the White Fang despite the fact that she could pass as human, how she was trained with Illa in how to fight and how to survive and how when Sienna and Adam rose to power, Ill as well as herself became more dangerous people as a whole. Sun then asks what she is gonna do and Blake replies that she’s gonna do for Illa what Sun did for her: be there even as they push others away. This is actually pretty nice as while Sun made a few mistakes in Volume 4 (It was Volume 4, everyone was making mistakes Mostly the writers.), so did Blake. Here we see Blake accepting that and moving beyond that. Blake’s truly developing here. 

After that, we cut to Oscar training with the cane while Ruby walks down to tell him that dinner is ready. Oscar talks a little about how he never really fought before and how he feels so at home with the cane, as though he has had it for a lifetime or even longer. ... DUnno what to make of this with Ozpin so I’ll just move on. Ruby then says that if he keeps training he’ll be readyin no time, dropping Penny’s old Euphamism of “Combat Ready!” And then she goes sad, much like the entire fandom at that line. Oscar catches on and tries saying something but Ruby just tries walking away. This is rather important in that t shows that Ruby still refuses to properly process and grieve for her dead friends. Ruby, for all her strength, is still a child who can’t properly process death well enough.

Then Oscar asks her how she can be okay with everything going, talking about how he’s overwhelmingly scared and how he never asked for any of this. Ruby tries comforting him by saying that she and her friends went to Beacon to help people but how they needed to keep going, which Oscar snaps and lashes out at her about how people have tried to kill her and the world’s about to go to war and how she’s okay with this. We see Ruby look down from Oscar’s gaze and see Oscar calm down right before we get perhaps the greatest speech from Ruby Rose we’ve had yet.

She talks about how when Beacon fell, she lost Pyrrha and Penny. She talks about how even though she didn’t spend a whole lot of time with Penny and Pyrrha, they were still some of the kindest people she knew. She also talked about how that was able to save them and how Pyrrha, in trying to help the world, died knowing she couldn’t win. Ruby talks about how she’s scared, not just for herself but for the whole world because of the ruthlessness she exhibits. She goes onto talk about how she’s in pain from their deaths, how she didn’t get to have more time with them...and how it would have been her instead, where Pyrrha and Penny would have kept fighting no matter the danger. Ruby says that’s why she keeps fight and why she keeps moving forward. Socar walks up to Ruby and smiles thankfully at her while Ruby returns it, wipes away her tears and walks away, giving him words of encouragement.

... I’m probably gonna make a post about this scene in particular and how much it shows Ruby’s strength but for now, let’s say that is very rare for this sentiment to be shown in such a real context.

We stay with Oscar a bit as he talks to Ozpin, who calls Ruby remarkable. Oscar responds by saying that she must have been one of the best huntresses at Beacon. WHile Ozpin admits that Ruby has her own fair share of quirks and flaws like everyone, he talks about how Ruby is able to inspire and keep people moving in spite of the odds. Oscar concludes that things must be hard on her and Ozpin reassures that notion rather grimly.

And to the final scene, we see the Fox Fanaus brothers finishing a message and trying to discuss their thoughts (well, one is, the taller, bigger one just wants to do his duty) while standing in front of what can only be called a WHITE FANG SHRINE. Jesus, Sun calling the White Fang a “cult” is really looking appropriate right now. Especially as when Illa comes in, she bows to them until she is ordered up and the smaller twin refers to the Mistral branch as a “brotherhood.” Listen everyone, I don’t scare easily. I’m a horror movie fan and I once laughed my ass off at the entire line of Hellraiser movies. So know that when I say this, I mean it: I’m freaking scared here.

Although I really love Illa here. She clearly doesn’t like Sienna being killed by Adam as she is shown to vsbly look away upon hearing this and when asking about her, she’s smiling. Sadly, Sienna is said to be buried with honor. (Hey, I at least understood where Sienna was coming from so she does deserve some honor.) And when the taller brother tells her about the story being told to the other branches, she’s seen looking down when calling it a necessary sacrifice. Illa’s being pushed far here and you can tell from her demeanor.

The Fox brothers go on to say that they have another mission which Illa says she’ll do. They talk about how the White Fang is going through a transitional period (read: conversion to true terrorism) and Illa says that for the betterment of the Fanaus, they can do it. They go on to explain how they have control or information in Meangrie and how news of Adam’s takeover hasn’t reached them yet. However, when it does, the people will resist it due to Ghira speaking against them. And because of that, they need to be “silenced” since as, like Sienna, they prevent “true progress.” And since Illa knows Blake, she is integral to the mission. And when she tries talking about the people, they make a vague threat about enforcing control and how they’ll be without a leader until their victory is certain.

And throughout this Illa is looking scared as hell. She is clearly shocked that they would ask her to kill Blake and her family and how they would destabilize Menagrie just to assert power. It’s clear here that Illa is being pushed to the breaking point and its ems the brother’s know this as they rationalize their actions as a “necessary sacrifice.” It’s clear what they are doing here: Trying to rationalize everything they do to avoid people seeing just how deep in the murk they are. It’s what all radicals do.

And Illa exits the scene as they discuss the possibility of Ghira being a martyr before playing Stabby McAbuseyDick’s message. Basically: Man scorned, want girl alive but suffering. Usual Adam stuff. He is clearly insane here, something that even the BROTHERS notice. They rationalize it as being necessary for their now leader, showing that even THEY have more standards and have a more just reason than Adam. Then someone knocks at the door and we see a bat Fanaus by the name of Yuna informing them that he killed a messenger of Ghira’s while the episode ends with them assured that their plans are set. 

All in all, it was another good episode. I really enjoyed the Oscar and Ruby part as we got to see the stress of the duty hit Oscar and see how much Ruby has grown. The last scene with the brothers scared treh crap out of me due to the parallels with cults and just how much I could see this happening in real life. And while I wasn’t a big fan of the first part (mostly because I’m not a Blake fan and that it should have been more detailed): it was still a solid addition and was necessary to set up Blake’s next step in her plotline. Volume 5 seems to be trying to patch up the problems from the previous Volumes and it seems to be doing a pretty good job. Although time will tell if things continue like this.

Until then, see ya in Episode 9!

[sidgenoangstfest]

Prompt Masterlist

Thanks so much to everyone who submitted prompts! We have so many and I hope that one (or more) of them inspire you! Below the cut is a masterlist of all of the prompts from the form/google list. They are separated by AU and Non-AU. The two prompts pertaining to AO3 warning topics are posted separately.

Non-AU Prompts

1. Geno ends up leaving to play in the Olympics, but Sid does the good boy Canadian thing and stays and then Russia wins and Canada not only loses but loses badly and media starts blaming Sid and Geno doesn't know how to make it better

2. Future fic: Sid and Geno had some false starts, could never really get their shit together -- maybe Sid wasn't ready to get married or have kids, maybe Geno really couldn't reconcile living as an out gay man and be committed to his country. Geno retires before Sid, goes back to Russia to raise his family, and try to forget that Sid might have been the love of his life, that he chose country over seeing what could have been. Sid either retires or, for maximum angst, suffers a career-ending injury (not a concussion, maybe, that's even too much for me!), and goes back to Halifax where he continues with his hockey school, get his history degree, billets some kids in the Q, and tries to be okay with being alone. Geno and Anna get divorced but are still close; Sid tries to date some but just can't make a connection. When Nikita is 16, he's drafted to the Halifax Mooseheads of the QMJHL, and Sid volunteers to billet him. He calls Geno to make sure it's okay, it's the first time they've talked in literally years, and it's awkward and terrible and neither one of them know what to say or want to hang up. Nikita says yes and he comes to live with Sid. Cue Sid and Geno dancing around each other from afar, Sid having to see the evidence LIVING IN HIS HOUSE that he couldn't give Geno the thing he wanted, which was a marriage and a good Russian son, and Geno having to get regular updates on the alternate timeline he told himself he didn't think about anymore, Sid and his son under the same roof, puttering around the house and skating on the pond in Sid's backyard, Sid speaking his terrible, flat Russian. Geno comes to visit, uhhhh, I don't know, more emotional shit happens, lots of hurt feelings and UST and then they finally work their shit out and Geno moves back to America and in with Sid and they give it a go and are happy and content but because this is an angst fest the last twist of the knife is that Nikita gets drafted to the Flyers and Sidney is devastated and Geno laughs in his face for five days the end.

3. Sid and Geno as fuckbuddies who are both super emotionally invested and probably in love with each other but both assume the other is just in it for the sex. They break up about 80 times and keep falling back into bed together, each one promising himself THIS TIME would be the last time. They're making themselves miserable along with everyone else who can very clearly see the issue but neither of them can. Lots of sex followed by emotional turmoil rinse repeat

4. I want a good old fashioned Canadian shack fic with a snowed-in plot twist. Maybe during bye week (I think the 2014/15 season would be a good brewing ground for this kind of plot) Sid and Geno rent a cabin somewhere in the Canadian wilderness to decide once and for all where to take their on-again/off-again love affair that spans nearly a decade by now. (Could also be that they've been tip-toeing around their attraction to each other for a decade, unsure whether or not to ever do anything about it.) It's probably not the best time for it. The season isn't going well. They're both worn and exhausted, maybe battling injuries, and predictably they have a fight not long after arriving that ends with Geno (could be Sid) taking off in the middle of a snowstorm. Whoever is left behind has some regrets about what was said when the wind and snow picks up and they're beside themselves, worrying about the one who left. Eventually whoever left comes back, maybe in the car, maybe by foot, and they end up snowed-in together in their Canadian shack. (They're millionaires, it's probably not actually a shack.) Ideally, they resolve their problems (or at least start to work on them) and decide to live happily ever after but I'll leave that up to the writer.

5. Geno's contract is up and Sid doesn't know if he's going to re-sign or go somewhere else (can be future fic or when his bridge contract ended in 13-14)

6. Sid has a big gay crush on Geno and is Not handling it well.

7. Something about Olympics and the political tension.

8. I'd love to see a fic that explores the dynamic of Geno being so emotionally romantic and occasionally dramatic (seriously, he rented an actual tiger for Anna's birthday) and Sid being so stoic and intensely private about his love life. Their differences in personality seems like a great brewing ground for romantic misunderstandings. 9. Ideally features Sid making a grand romantic gesture of some kind.

10. post-loss h/c

11. This isn't really a prompt but PINING. I want all the pining. One of them or both being absolutely convinced there's no way the other could ever love them back. Could be any kind of setting. Fuck buddies. Arranged marriage. Fake dating. Best Friends. ABO.

12. Tournament angst. Olympics for max angst, Worlds for a notch down. Sid and Geno very tentatively start fooling around shortly before said tournament, and Canada’s victory throws a wrench in the emotional works. Lots of sneaking around and feelings.

13. Breakup fic. Geno was ready for kids, and Sid wasn't. Now, Geno's with Anna, she's moved to Pittsburgh, they're both glowing, and Sid's at a low point in his career and is filled with grief and regret. He asks Geno for a second chance, and Geno tells him Anna's pregnant and it's too late. Make me cry.

14. "There have been a lot of changes to the team this summer and the Pens core is never going to be the same and gosh, we're thirty and I'm afraid our best days are behind us" Sid/Geno style. Semi-realist angst. Bonus (but unnecessary) "you're the only constant in a sea of change" type resolution.

15. Lockout separation!! G going back to Russia, and Sid staying in Pittsburgh to mediate, long distance relationship angst!

16. Retirement, "we went our separate ways without telling each other how we feel"--type stuff

17. “I thought things were going great.”

18. Better late than never

19. Sid visits Geno in Russia for the first time since they started getting together, and Geno's awkward about it because internalized homophobia and also Russia's homophobia, and it strains their relationship.

20. in the midst of a great season (and great for him personally), sid vanishes. after the season is done, geno receives his call, and goes to find out what happened.

21. cheating. Just--cheating.

22. One thinks the other is cheating/one thinks the other wants to break up, so they decide to bite the bullet and break up first. authors choice whether or not the communication happens during the break up or days/weeks/months/YEARS after.

23. amnesia fic!

24. Sid overhears a phone call and mistakenly thinks Geno is moving back to Russia/KHL/whatever you want. So he starts to pull away and be cold and distant and this upsets Geno a LOT. And Sid obviously. And generally everyone is sad... until it gets sorted after the team throws him a going away party and then afterwards everyone is happy and S/G fall in love. (I'm thinking they weren't together at first but honestly if anyone wants to write this... they could maybe be a couple. Makes it more angsty!)

25. Geno wants to come out. Sid doesn't.

26. a story about outing, and maybe with some time travel?

27. Pet death.... :( hurt/comfort. Maybe later on, adopting something small and fluffy together.

28. Russia recalls its players, forcing them to choose between leaving the NHL or giving up Russian citizenship.

29. Post-retirement, they meet again at the Olympics, Sid coaching team Canada and Geno on team Russia's staff. They haven't spoken in almost a decade.

30. Unrequited? Sid has a girlfriend that he's talking about marriage with. Seems like it's time for Geno to move on.

31. They've been fuck buddies for a while now, but Sid can't take it any more. Geno makes one joke too many about his booty call and Sid calls it all off.

32. Where they've been broken up for a while and maybe one of them has juuuust started to move on and then they start spending a bunch of time together again for reasons and see all those things in each other that they loved and miss. Just so much sadness and bittersweetness and nostalgia. Doesn't have to end up with them back together necessarily.

33. something to do with Sid having anxiety? I feel like a lot of his rituals and stuff could really be seen as coping mechanisms, and it's be interesting to see if maybe that impacts his relationship with Geno, or if Sid's afraid of it impacting his relationship with Geno.

34. One of them confesses feelings for the other. The feelings aren't mutual.

35. You know that pic from worlds 2015, where Sid is sitting in the locker room and looking (really beautiful and) like he's holding back tears? What is an angstfest-appropriate backstory to that? Is it maybe linked to Sid's not-so-stellar start to the 2015-2016 season too? (Initially I thought about this from Sid's POV, but Geno's could also work really well!) [NOTE FROM MOD: https://sidsass.tumblr.com/post/163755745701]

36. G gets engaged. Sid goes off the deep end.

37. Citing his wish to avoid permanent damage following repeat concussions, Sid "quietly" retires at the beginning of the '17-'18 season on the condition that G gets the C. The reality is that his exhausted from harboring his unrequited feelings AND from G not getting the recognition he deserves. He officially passes the baton but otherwise avoids seeing or talking to Geno and gradually disappears. Years down the line, G finds out the truth.

38. Sid starts exhibiting psychological/behavioral symptoms of post-concussion syndrome. This puts a strain on his and Geno's relationship.

39. Forced outing (of either of them or both) leads to homophobia from both fans and teammates and potentially disastrous consequences

40. One of them wakes up in 2012 again

41. Sid and Geno are fuck-buddies until one of them is outed. The other has to choose - come out or don't come out. And figure out their feelings about each other (can they weather this storm or is this the end of their friendship too?)

42. Geno is forced to go back to Russia for Secret Angsty Reasons. He tries to keep in contact with the team, but eventually they grow further apart until the only contact they have is through social media. Fast forward 10 years, Sid is retired and goes on holiday to [place], where he finds Geno, and Secret Angsty Reasons become not-so-secret.

43. One of them is injured in a potentially career-ending way

44. One of them is outed by a teammate

45. Internalised homophobia

46. Fake relationship where one of them is in love but the other isn't

47. Sid finally makes it to Russia with Geno...for Geno's wedding ceremony.

48. Sid gets a concussion and seems like he's recovering well...except he doesn't remember his relationship with Geno. They had just gotten together, everything still really new, and they hadn't told anyone because Sid insisted they wait until after the season. So Geno has no one to turn to, has to act like everything is fine, even though his heart is breaking because Sid is treating him like nothing more than a friend. More angst potential: Sid dates around! Someone on the team definitely had figured it out and now Geno's wishing for when he was dealing with it alone because the pity is even worse! Geno slowly realizing that maybe Sid did this to himself because he didn't want to ever come out and his brain took the opportunity to erase their relationship before he was in too deep! Just put Geno through absolute emotional hell.

49. Destined to kill each other and there is no love will redeem the other option here.

50. The fallout of their divorce. What now?

51. sid learning how to be less than perfect

52. set before and during the 2023-24 season. sid and geno aren't together but both are privately thinking they should finally make a move. then over the summer geno (who signed a contract the year before that ends at the same point as sid's, so they can retire together) is traded to a team the pens only play once or twice a year because the pens have salary cap/roster problems (I know he has a no movement clause, let's say they didn't put it in the new one for some reason). cue a LOT of pining and separation-induced sadness. angst and stress. pretending not to be as cut up about it as they are. etc etc. maybe they have an emotional/dramatic reunion on ice, maybe one of them is injured and the other is horrified but can't do anything, maybe both... basically how sad can you make pining while still making a happy ending, or at least a hopeful ending

53. Everyone always says how good Geno is at not being bothered by Sid getting all the accolades. How chill he is. How content to be out of the spotlight. How secure. That's... really not how he feels, and there's a point where it gets to be too much.

54. They do the coming out thing so they can be together properly, after keeping it secret from pretty much everyone for years, and the irony is that *this* is the thing that finally fucks up their relationship.

55. Geno never returns from his summer in Russia. Everyone becomes frantic looking for him but he’s not found. It remains a mystery and life goes on. Time passes, Sid still plays and the team still wins games but even after the grief has subsided, there is an ache deep in his chest that won’t go away. Sid *misses* Geno, doesn’t think he’ll stop missing him, doesn’t really understand why he hurts this bad. One day, Geno returns [insert random hockey magic here], Sid is an emotional mess dealing with it.

56. Hotels as liminal spaces. Sid's been hooking up with Geno in hotels in various cities where they play. But it doesn't feel real, so it's not real...right?

57. Reunion fic after a bad breakup (that was due to legit conflict that was both people's faults).

58. Dubcon ritual sex for the good of the team. Maybe Sid and Geno weren't together before this?

59. Professional hockey is indentured servitude, basically slavery. Sexual relationships between teammates aren't allowed, but that doesn't always stop them from happening. At first Sid and Geno are just finding relief in each other from all the pressure, but it turns into more.

60. Unrequited love, written from the POV of the one not pining.

61. AU-canon divergence: Sid put love and dating on hold to focus on hockey. He meets a cute guy while out to team dinner. They get dessert. Geno gets a little jealous.

62. Geno had asked Sid to wait for him to be ready. Not while he was so new to the team, he said. Not while the team was so unstable. Not while they were on the brink of a Cup win. And then he met Anna, and things happened. Geno moved to Russia when he retired, and he and Sid only saw each other at the draft, the World Cup, and now, the Olympics.

63. During the lockout, Sid followed Geno to the KHL. He hadn't thought having to hide their relationship would be so hard.

64. Ovie invites Sid to his wedding. Sid goes stag. Geno pines from afar.

65. canon divergence: the concussion specialists told Sid he'd need at least a year to recover. He goes home to Cole Harbour. The team struggles without him.

66. As much as I love homophobia free!NHL or a NHL with minimal homophobia, the reality is probably a lot less sunny. So, both Sid and Geno aren't out (except maybe to close friends), they're both very careful, and they know to never, ever get caught. Except, after the SCF, they're high on their win and get drunk and kiss each other, and somehow there are photos and somehow the photos are leaked. A shitstorm ensues.

67. one of them is battling an addiction to painkillers as a side effect of so many chronic injuries, and it's affecting both hockey and relationship.

68. Sidney and Geno are happily married and looking to start a family. They decide to foster a little boy (or girl, whichever) they meet at the little penguins hockey program (he's like seven or so) after finding out that his foster family is physically and emotionally abusing him. They do their best to try and help him, but things get overwhelming when trying to balance their careers and raising a child who has faced so much psychological trauma already. Then things get worse when the child's father is released from jail and fights Sid and Geno for custody of his kid. ((preferably nothing super explicit trauma wise, but i would like for there to be heavy emotional moments because the kid has been through so much and is a little intimidated by two very big and very strong pro hockey players. and sidney and geno love kids and don't want to fail this sweet child that is under their care. and i would like for the ending to be happy if the author is ok with it.))

69. sid and geno are in a friends with benefit situation where geno thinks theyre dating but sid just thinks theyre friends with benefits

70. Sidney gets another concussion, but it knocks him out cold on the ice, and he wakes up blind and with amnesia. Geno is shattered because hasn't Sidney been through enough? Geno offers to take care of him, but their relationship is so rocky now, and he was ready to propose to Sid when he got his concussion. Preferably a happy ending, but whatever floats the author's boat is fine with me.

71. Around the time Sid and Geno retire, Geno divorces his wife. He and Sid finally get together after all these years, but haven't really told anyone yet - in particular, not Geno's near-grow kids, because the relationship is new and Geno doesn't know how they'll take it. And then Geno gets pregnant.

72. Sid really IS a baby-snatcher/kidnapper, and Geno finds out. Ideas may include how Sid came to be like this, how he did it, how often (was it just once, multiple times), did he get caught by people other than Geno, what were the consequences (is Geno okay/not okay with this, does Sid do something to protect "his" child, does law enforcement get involved, etc.). Also for consideration: what about the child's/children's perspective(s)?

73. Sid and Geno have been fuckbuddies for over a year, except Geno thinks that they are in a relationship. Geno has spent the last month planning the perfect proposal only to find out on the big day that Sid is dating someone and wants to end their arrangement. Maybe Sid realizes his mistake and fixes it or maybe it's just too late for Sid and Geno.

74. "Hey, G, this is Chris", Sid says, and the man whose back Sid's palm is resting on reaches out for a handshake. He's almost Geno's height, with sandy hair, blue eyes and a warm smile. Geno's stomach does something it's never done before. He doesn't want to shake this guy's hand; he wants to tackle him to the ground and punch his lights out. Or: Geno, has a Revelation about his feelings for his captain. (G's relationship status can be anywhere from single to married with children depending on the level of angst/conflict/potential resolution)

75. Sid loves wearing makeup and girl's clothing/dresses. However he's scared of telling Geno, afraid that he might call him a freak or break up with him. When he does eventually tell him, Geno tries to be supportive but feels a little off about it. However during one particular game during the Flyers, Giroux or Simmonds says something incredibly offensive about Sid and it makes him feel extreme insecure about himself. After the game he's completely shut down and won't talk to anybody and actually starts throwing away his feminine clothing and makeup. Would Geno be able to push away his own feelings about it and tell his boyfriend he's beautiful no matter what, or would he just let Sid to whatever he wants and not let himself be who he is?

76. Sid and Geno have sex once when they're both really young and Sid isn't being dramatic when he says it's the best sex of his life. He figures the feeling was mutual and that at the very least him and Geno could continue to hook up. But afterwards Geno avoids him Anne is super distant and when Sid finally tries to talk to him Geno says "was bad sex don't want to think about it. Nothing else to say" and Sid is kind of devastated because that means HE Was so terrible in bed that Geno feels awkward about it. Cut to years later when it drunkenly happens again and Sid has been practicing for years to make sure he's perfect for Geno. Geno brushes it off again and Sid is like, no no no I know I'm good in bed why do you keep lying. And then Geno confesses that he wasn't ready to be in a mlm relationship when they first had sex and he's still unsure but he loves Sid and doesn't know what to do. Cut to feelings and getting together

77. One of them - let's face it probably Geno - does the grand public romantic gesture thing to woo Sid and, because RL appropriate behaviour is different from the stalker-level shit that gets romanticised by pop-culture, Sid is actually kind of unnerved and pressured and maybe even a little humiliated by how public it was and pretty unhappy about it. Basically they are in different genres, e.g. Geno is in a hollywood romcom and Sid is in an indie drama or psychological thriller :p ;).

78. Sid and Geno make a sex tape that ends up getting leaked. It doesn't show their faces and people don't really know it's them but the shock is enough to send Sid into a spiral of fear that people know that he's gay and that gen bottoms and basiclly internalized homophobia. G tries to comfort him but sid lashes out and they break up. Yadda yadda yadda hurt comfort no more sex tapes

79. Sid has to retire from hockey because of an injury and geno comforts him when he's crying about it. Super angsty and fluffy

80. Sid and Geno have a friends with benefits situation, but Sid, who was in love with Geno for a long time before they started hooking up, thinks they're getting serious. He doesn't know it but Geno is seeing Anna at this time, so when Geno mentions the 'person he's dating' to the team he's talking about her but Sid thinks he means him. He overhears Geno talking to someone like "do you think I should propose?" and gets very excited — until Geno introduces Anna to the team as his fiancee. He thinks he's been dumped but then Geno still approaches him for sex and Sid doesn't know how to say no. So Sid has an internal crisis because he's helping Geno cheat (if you want it can be revealed that Geno and Anna had an open relationship and Geno's just very bad at communicating that to Sid). But a part of him also wants Anna to find out, because then maybe she would break it off with Geno…

81. One of them was previously in an abusive relationship with another man, which the other doesn't know about because they were closeted at that time. They get triggered by something seemingly innocuous the other does, leading to explanations & hurt/comfort.

82. Anything following Sid's POV as Geno gets married and has kids.

83. Pining where they don't say anything because they both think the other is straight, and then a different guy on the team comes out (just to the room or publicly — your choice) and one of them winds up having sex with him, which the team finds out about. (Thin hotel walls?) So the other now knows he's not straight, but thinks he's in a relationship with the third person.

84. You don't stop loving something just because it's hard, Sid said. Well - what happens when it doesn't love you back?

85. One of the reason's Geno has been able to - sooner or later - shrug off those international losses and refocus, while playing on the same team as the avatar of Canada's success over Russia, has been his unshakeable belief always in next time, next time. With NHL players now firmly closed out of the Olympics, and Geno on the other side of 30, he's looking at that "next time" quite possibly being "never", and it's a hell of a hard hit.

86. Geno didn't actually want to leave Metallurg for the NHL; the bribe is Sid, in some kind of arranged-marriage/bond/etc situation. Perhaps Geno doesn't - ever? - know Sid's only in it out of obligation/responsibility.

87. Geno gets mugged, and it rocks his identity/self-image.

88. It turns out that while Sid's a good friend and a great captain, he's a terrible boyfriend. Geno worked so hard to get them here, and now he doesn't know what to do.

89. Their problems in the bedroom aren't staying there.

90. Pictures of Geno kissing a man in a gay bar are leaked somehow. It goes badly with both Russia and the Pens.

91. You know how there are the fics where one person has this kink they're all ashamed of, and then the other person helps them feel okay about it? I love those, a lot, but what if the reveal just didn't go well at ALL? Like, daddy-kink slips out and the reaction is flat-out shock, or they like a little feminisation or lacy knickers and their partner is just uncomfortable and embarrassed about it?

92. Insomnia as a concussion side-effect; they're hardly sharing a bed any more because of the restlessness.

93. One of them is having a hard time getting/keeping it up, or has a much-diminished sex drive (could even be set a few years in the future so it's an aging thing) and they have to figure out how important regular good sex is to the relationship. Maybe one of them decides it's not gonna work anymore.

94. Sid becomes paralyzed from the waist down in a bat hit gone wrong (the hit can be from the Flyers, Capitals, or whoever you want) and it shatters Sid completely, thinking he's never going to play hockey ever again. He starts to become severly depressed and starts lashing out at everybody, especially Geno, who's trying his hardest to be there for Sid. Both of them start to slowly become distant and they separate for a while, but Sid's depression gets worse and Geno is incredibly worried that Sid might do something to himself so he comes back. Cue to support from the Pens/NHL, angst and fluff, Sid and Geno getting back together and (hopefully?) Sid being able to start playing hockey again.

95. Sid and Geno are drafted by different teams (one is still a Penguin though, obviously). They first meet at World Juniors and realize they are "hockey perfect" late one night when they can't sleep and find each other practicing on the ice. Sid jokes that maybe they'll be together in the NHL but the draft doesn't work out. Geno comes over the same time as real life, and they meet again at the ASG in 2007 (get together then too). But it's Actually Serious that they're together. It's totally forbidden and both teammates/orgs/their families would be outraged. It's basically jeopardizing their careers bc they compete against each other, and it's Not Cool. Basically, Sid feels a ton of pressure to be the best, and Geno brings out his best on and off ice, but they can't be together. Obviously they sneak around when their teams meet and it's pretty reckless, but they are overwhelmed by each other. I just want forbidden love and Sid feeling pretty isolated/under a lot of pressure. Also, the Olympics is pretty much the best time of their lives, and there's a lot of sex bc of course.

96. they lose a child (can be their only child or not)

97. sid's pov with supercut by lorde (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL0MtGXNFIk) as the jumping off point - maybe it's during their relationship, maybe it's after. up to you if they get a happy ending or not (and if that happy ending includes them together or not)

98. Person X is invited into Sid and Geno's recently-opened relationship, possibly with a view to them being more involved with one than the other. They're maybe younger, a little naive, but definitely super into the whole concept. Until they realise that actually, Geno and Sid are not the good stable relationship they thought, that they're kind of a hot mess, and that they're in danger of being turned into someone's emotional escape route.

99. Geno never left Russia, Sid comes over after the Pens fail to win a cup

100. Sid/Geno accidentally get outed

101. Sid is asexual (but not aromantic). He's in a relationship with Geno and Geno finds out after they've had copious amounts of sex. He's pissed Sid hadn't told him. Sid tries to explain that he doesn't particularly like sex but he doesn't mind doing it. Geno is not in any way mollified. Sid tells Geno he can sleep with other people if he wants to. Up to you where it goes from there.

102. After years of dancing around each other, they finally get together and it turns out they're sexually incompatible. One wants to compromise, the other doesn't see any viable option other than going their separate ways.

103. They get together. It doesn't work out. Now they have to work together every day and be on a team together and do promotions together and try not to leak feelings all over everyone in the immediate area. Spoiler: they do and it's ugly.

104. AU where something happens that leads to one of them getting traded

105. Post breakup fic- maybe they get back together? Maybe they just have sex and then realize it still can't work

AU Prompts

1. Sid and Taylor are orphans, they live with Mario after Sid was drafted. Cue Geno and his family trying to be a surrogate family to Sid & Taylor

2. One is a hockey star, the other is a reporter. The reporter spends a lot of time digging around, getting little details of the hockey star, writing a massive indepth story along the way and ends up falling a little bit in love. The hockey star resents the reporters invasion into his life and definitely does not feel the same.

3. AU where Sid and Ovechkin are royalty and betrothed in a purely political marriage, and while they are friend they’re not romantically interested in each other, and both alphas so no progeny will come from their union. As part of the arrangement, as their countries need an alliance, they’re gifted with an omega - Evgeni Malkin. Noble enough to be socialized as a gentlemen, but not high ranking enough to marry a prince himself, and as he’s Russian it’s determined that Sid should be the other father, to mix the bloodlines properly. However, at first Sid didn’t want a concubine, was fine in his loveless marriage with Ovechkin, at least until he saw Geno. So there is MAJOR MISCOMMUNICATION, where Geno thinks Sid is just doing this out of duty and not love and Sid thinks Geno doesn’t like him, even hates him.Geno goes into his first heat and is worried because the contraceptives he is secretly taking don’t work during heat and Sid can tell something is up so he doesn’t knot Geno and as a result Geno thinks he isn’t even worthy of Sid’s knot and MORE miscommunication and angst. And then there’s gossip about Geno’s lack of fertility, and oh no is it Sid? Which Geno can’t stand for, so he decides that he’ll get pregnant even though it’ll mean Sid never touches him again. And eventually he gets pregnant and then more stuff happens and then happy ending.(Feel free to change this and make it your own, obviously)

4. Age difference AU. Preferably with Geno being older and Sid being younger.

5. Apocalypse wow! When the world ends Sid is in Canada and Geno is in Russia but Sid isn't going to go out before he does the thing he's been psyching himself up to do for literally years, so he packs a bag and decides he's going to walk to Geno if he has to. I don't know what kind of apocalypse it is, maybe it's a super virus or a zombie kind. Either way, it's terrifying and sad and we follow Sid as he realizes not only might he never make it, but he might die alone and/or horribly, but also most of his friends are already dead, and he has way too much time to reflect on his life and what he did and didn't get to do. Bonus if it's open-ended, him trudging through snow, at the end of the road in Moscow, half-dead on his feet, gets to Geno's apartment, lifts a hand to knock, but we don't get to see the door open. We never see him die, either, but we can't know WE JUST CAN'T KNOW. (The emotional resolution is that he's come to terms with himself, just to be ultra lit-class about it)

6. Noir sidgeno au where sid is a hard boiled detective and geno is the femme fatale

7. Cold war spies.

8. A becomes a vampire and B has to console them because all A ever wanted was to have their own kids, but now that has all be ripped away from them, so B stays with them and holds them in their arms as A cries

9. period/fantasy au - sidney is royalty, and geno is not (or vice versa!)... after years of slowly falling in love with the castle's stablehand (aka geno), sidney's parents force him into a political/arranged marriage. sidney and geno still see each other, but when they are caught, because of laws or anything else hand-wavy, geno is meant to be executed.

10. One of them is haunted by the ghost of the other. Ending options: the ghost passes on after they resolve whatever it is they stayed around for, or they other figures out how to bring him back (cup magic could be useful here!)

11. Romeo and Juliet au - I guess it could be a flyers au, but I'd love to see a historical setting.

12. a bowerbird au where Sid collects all his trophies to seduce people with them. he doesn't actually care about winning just seduction. winning just happens to be the easiest way to seduce people, so he works it. Sid doesn't have time for losers, only winners, but his obsession with winners comes back to bite him. he's so focused on winning/seduction, that he doesn't realize it's destroying his relationships with those around him.

13. Sid and Geno are both omegas. They're only playing in the NHL because they're as good as they are. Falling in love with each other is a complication they don't need and also against all social mores.

14. Sid is an alpha and Geno is an omega. They both want each other, but Geno is already under intense scrutiny as the only omega (or one of the only omegas, if you'd prefer) in the NHL, and he doesn't want to get involved with an alpha. Angst ensues.

15. A wishbaby AU where wishbabies come from the Faerie realm, and you can only keep them for seven years. After the seven years are up, the child goes back to Faerie. But this is Sid and Geno, so they go into Faerie to find their child. They're successful, but it's the Faerie realm, and a price has to be paid. One of them has to stay behind for seven years to pay the debt. Twist: time moves differently in Faerie, and when the seven years are up, he comes home to find out that in the human world, seven times seven years have passed. Extra twist: once you've spent significant time in Faerie, you don't age the same way you normally would.

16. Either Sid or Geno wakes up as a girl one morning. This is a very unpleasant experience.

17. Sid and Geno have sex, and Geno gets pregnant. Geno is in love with Sid; Sid likes Geno but isn't in love with him. Geno wants to get rid of the baby (or adopt it out), but Sid wants to keep it, because he's always wanted kids, and even if he isn't in love with Geno, he's still going to be a father. (Sid falls for Geno too, eventually.)

18. Star Wars AU where Sid is a Senator and Geno is a Jedi around the fall of the Republic.

19. The one where their kid's swapped for a changeling

20. Time-travel trope, feel free to reverse the parties: a younger version of e.g. Geno shows up, and there is infidelity with older Sid. Older Geno does not take it well. Which maybe finally explains to Sid why, sometimes, Geno has seemed to get angry at Sid for no apparent reason, because he absolutely remembers this happening, and resents himself for not thinking it was a problem (because they're together in the future, right? so young, so stupid) and Sid for cheating on him, and himself for staying when he knows this is going to happen. Does he hope it won't? Does he just love Sid too much to not take every moment he can? Maybe they fix it with threesomes. Maybe they do not fix it.

21. One of them's infertile, and nothing available in the fertility industry does a damn thing to fix it.

22. Look, Cup magic isn't all it's cracked up to be, okay. Things can get... unpredictable. Unpleasant. Sid and Geno get off scott free the first two Cups, but it turns out all that wild magic was just biding its time until they won their third.

23. Geno grew up being bullied for being a werebear, and it's made him a defensive asshole about that part of his identity - very Do not Handle, Do not Touch. It takes him a long time to let Sid in.

24. girlSid didn't really have body issues (it was just a body, what mattered was what it could do) until Geno started dating Anna

25. Accidental pregnancy; whoever is pregnant eventually gets an abortion.

26. lady with the pet dog au! geno and sidney are both married and meet while away on vacation without their spouses. what begins is a passionate affair that starts as sex and infatuation but ends with a deeply rooted love. they both return to their homes only to find that they both live in the same city and must brave facing each other in their social circles without exposing their affair. bonus points if it's a period piece and if Geno feels the same guilt Dmitri felt at the end of the story.

27. GOT-esque AU. Geno is a bear-lord from the Kontinental kingdom of Drachma & Sid is a powerful mage from the North eastern part of Drachma, as well as Geno's most trusted advisor since they were teenagers. Geno became infertile (male speaking) after a witch cursed him for trying to bring both a dead child back to life using blood magic. He was severly devastated and has nightmares about deformed, monster-like children in place of the innocent ones he'll never have. He also takes his frustrations out on Sid, cruelly saying slurs about mages/witches whenever he tries to talk to him. Sid is hurt by these comments, but takes them in stride, knowing Geno is just upset. Years later, when they are in a relationship, they try for children and no infertility spells work, until Sid reveals that he himself was working on for years and they can finally have children to be the heir to Geno's kingdom. (Please let Sid be the pregnant one!)

28. Royalty AU. Sid is taking Geno to visit Sid's family and gifts him with jewels and other trinkets for him to wear. To Sid, these jewels represent not just their class system but are a sign showing extreme love and gratitude to consorts. However, to Geno, where he comes from, this is a sign of being something like that of a prostitute. So the more jewelry Sid decorates Geno with, the more Geno believes that Sid is just using him to be a bedwarmer. Geno becomes colder and more distant towards Sid, dressing himself up and acts like he IS a prostitute to Sid and his family's confusion. Sid snaps and finally confronts Geno about his feelings. SO MUCH MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND MISCOMMUNICATION!!!

29. Sid is so wrapped up in the hockey life that he never has time for dating, and when he does, it usually never works out well. So Flower, Tanger and Duper hire an escort who goes by the name of Zhenya as a "surprise" for Sid. Zhenya, whose real name is Evgeni "Geno" Malkin, escaped from Russia in search of a better life in America, but things didn't go through all that well. When he arrives at Sid's doorstep, Sid is of course angry but slowly gets over it once he sees how cute Zhenya is. A single one-night stand turns into more than what Sid bargains for. Zhenya is falling in love with Sid and sees him as more than a client, but Sid doesn't want to get attached for fear of getting hurt and distracted from hockey. Cue tons of angst, miscommunications, and (hopefully?) a happy ending.

30. College AU where they meet their sophomore year. Geno has a somewhat serious girlfriend but doesn't tell Sidney. Sidney finds out that he's "the other women" and confronts Geno about his cheating by breaking up with him. Sid ends up giving Geno the cold shoulder for months until finally Geno corners him after class and confesses to Sid that he had tried to breakup with the gf before but she wouldn't let him, he met Sid and instantly in love so he didn't even think of the girl he no longer like, he also broke up with the gf after Sid left him and has been trying to get back with Sid ever since

31. Both alphas. They have to find alternative partners during their rut/heat, because when they try with each other, violence overtakes sex - the first time it was pretty bad; the second time they tried to maul each other (they'd taken precautions e.g. back-ups who could separate them); they're not risking a third time. Coming back to your partner after marathon sex with someone else, knowing you can't ever have that with them.

32. Zombie apocalypse. Sid's been bitten, and he hides it just long enough to make sure Geno gets to safety.

33. Always a girl AU where they're playing in the NWHL or the CWHL, and they're on different teams.

34. Geno is cursed by a witch so he can get pregnant, but doesn't know it until he and Sid have sex. He always wanted kids, but not like this.

35. royalty/arranged marriage. modern or historical.

36. Sid is pregnant with Geno's baby, but manegment doesn't take it well

37. Teen pregnancy au

38. They get telepathically bonded for hockey. And end up hating each other.

39. their soulbond has broken - writer's choice as to why (suggestions: too many injuries, they have a fight and one of them has it broken intentionally, they spend too long too far apart)

40. Geno is an omega and the usual omega angst that goes with that ~

41. One of them from our universe falls into an a/b/o universe and doesn't get back, or vice versa. Maybe omega!Geno falls into our world, but is still an omega (which means he has to try to hide his heats with no medical support), or maybe he falls into our world but isn't an omega anymore. Body horror, xeno-type scenarios, mpreg... :D

42. The hockey gods require a lot of sacrifice to get to the level Sid and Geno are at; now they're asking either Sid or Geno for more than he's willing to give.

43. Soulmates in a doomed reincarnation cycle

44. Time loops

45. Geno is stuck in a time loop from the beginning of his career to the end. Think Magical Girl Madoka, Homura specifically.

46. One of them is deeply closeted falls into an AU where they got together sometime back. Twist: he never gets back to his own time, and meanwhile the other party figures it out and is mourning his "real" boyfriend.

47. Cup Magic happens after Sids day with the cup after winning back to back. Sid gets sent to Mario's house but in 1992. People are shocked at how this guy is built and how fast he is on the ice and how he won't shut up about hockey when Mario brings him to practice one day. Neither of them know why Sid was sent to the past and can't figure out what the lesson is but snippets of scenes between Sid and Geno show so much UST and hesitation. Sid seems to retreat even more because locker room talk is even more brutal (why are you so good? Steroids?? )and homophobic than it is now. Sid starts to become miserable and lonely and does confess to Mario about his feelings for Geno and Mario is shocked but kinda figures the way Sid talked about Geno and asks how gay people are treated in Sids time. After a while he realizes he could have Geno in his life if only he was a little braver. And he's so heartbroken he might have missed his chance and he does come back to his time. He talks to geno about what happened to him and Geno is so upset Sid has to go through all that alone. they do eventually live happily (please) ever after.

[drv3imagines]

HNNNGGGG I AM PUMPED, GUESS WHO’S BIRTHDAY IT IS???? MY FAVE KAEDE AKAMASTSU OR AS I REFER TO PIANO JESUS!! HNNG PUMPED

Something was wrong

Something was tremendously wrong

Kaede the leader of the class the optimistic leader of the class

Was sad,Sad to the point of playing piano a bit duller than usual, Sad to the point for her to frown during playing the thing she loved most

And Shuichi couldn’t tell why

He thought and thought but he couldn’t figure out what the heck was wrong nothing happened to her today she was just …Sad

So he decided to ask, Walking towards the girl he slowly asked her the question,He didn’t even freeze just he just..Said it

“Is something the matter?”

She froze for a second before awkwardly smiling and turning her head to him

“Ha…Ha I guess I’m kind of sad my old friends aren’t here to celebrate my birthday” She said rubbing the back of her head that awkward smile still on her face

With that he froze panicking ‘slightly’ on the inside

Bir..th…day?

Birthday? He had no idea it was her birthday!! How could he forget? HOW,HOW,HOW??? HE’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIMSELF FUCK FUCK FUCK

As he kept internally panicking Kaede stared at him awkwardly confused by how much he was sweating

“…Er? Saihara-Kun? Are you ok-?” Before Kaede could finish Shuichi ran out of the room leaving her alone with her piano

“…Okay?” Kaede said finishing her sentence

“……Chabashira-San did say how rude boys were” Kaede sighed

“…Oh well” Kaede slowly lowered her head and waited a second before playing the piano once more

-[Later]-

What has he done so far?

Freaked out about the fact he forgot about Akamastsu-San’s birthday check,Got a horrible idea check,Called everyone here Check,Told everyone what he’s doing…Nope

Now to make that ‘Nope’ a ‘Check’

“Saihara-Chann~? What’s going on~?” Ouma whined “I’m busy ya know! A ninja is chasing me see!” Ouma said pouting while obviously lying Shuichi looked away a deadpanned expression on his face

“Ouma-Kun please be serious we’ve all forgotten something truly important today!” Shuichi yelled hitting the podium everyone looked up at him confused

“Eh? Shuichi? What are ya talkin about?” Kaito asked confused Maki suddenly hit him telling him to ‘Shut up’ Shuichi stared at the scene before going back on topic

“..You see… It’s” He froze once more sweating slightly but he kept going

“…Akamastsu-San….Birthday” He slowly said looking away and with that one word preparing for the impact but Nothing happened?

“Um…? Guys this is seri-!” Shuichi tried to tell but before he could panic erupted in the room

Kirumi got out a broom from somewhere and started cleaning,Ryouma started roasting himself for being a horrible friend,Angie started praying for some reason,Tenko said it was the boys fault,Yumeno slept though the chaos,Kiibo and Gonta who don’t even know what a birthday was,Kaito Yelled saying he had no clue while Maki said he was a idiot for it,And Ouma… Was Ouma

And Shuichi knew at that moment.. He fucked up And boy did he fuck up bad

He tried to stop the chaos yelling while being sweaty mess,While still Not even stopping the panic slightly

“G-GUYS!!! WE HAVE T-!!” Shuichi yelled but before he could finish he was interrupted by Amami

“You all forgot..I thought that was the case” Amami said looking away everyone stared at him confused

“Wait.. You didn’t forget?” Shuichi asked him confused

“…..“Amami slowly sighed before pulling out his e-tablet pointing to a spot that said March 26

”…Oh”

-Even ‘Later’-

[I Put this in Shuichi’s point of view]

I had prepared everything and everyone

Yumeno would do a magic show to entertain Kaede while Tenko gladly helped with stage ‘stuff’

Kirumi was cleaning everything up and setting up most of the part decorations Maki and Kaito helped but Kirumi did more work than the both of them combined, I wasn’t surprise in the slightest of course

Ama'i said he knew to cook so he did the cake Kiibo said quote on quote “I’ll try to help to with the fullest of my ability!” with pure optimism I didn’t stop him

Angie and Iruma said they make something for Kaede, I asked no questions but I asked Gonta and Korekiyo to watch the two of them for 'reasons’

And Tsumigi was set on wrapping the gifts I prepared she seemed to be over-joyed when I asked if she could make Kaede something

And Ryouma’s job was the hardest… Watch Ouma,I knew Ryouma was strong… But I still felt a weird feeling like I should have done more

-Time Skip AGAIN- Mod Kaede sucks

After a while we finished with enough time to spare to bring Kaede

And nothing bad happened,Iruma and Angie made something that was appropriate,Ryouma even stated Ouma did nothing I was in relief, Everything seemed to be perfect…

“Jeezzz we done yet?” Yumeno complained yawning a bit

“Yes! Tenko wants to know as well!” Tenko yelled almost hitting Yumeno in the face

“Aaa…” Yumeno said dodging somehow she didn’t seem to care though

“Yep now all we need is to surprise Akamastsu-Sa-” Before I could finish it happened

Of course it happened, One thing had to go fucking wrong,Nothing will ever go right for me will it?

“Yooo Saihara-Chan! I brought Akamastsu-Chan~!” Ouma yelled holding Kaede’s hand she seemed to be confused all I could do was internally scream while staring at him,Thinking one thought

“GOD DAMNIT OUMA IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE”

Kaede looked around the room confused she seemed to be in the same dull mood as before though

“Um…? What’s happe-” Before Kaede could finish Amami came in the room at the worst moment

“Guys I’m back from the bat-” Amami then stared at Kaede before muttering a 'Shit’ he seemed to understand the situation

“Akamastsu-San~! How’s your day? Actually don’t answer that lets go outside for a MOMENT” Amami said sweating a bit get a smiling expression on his face he than dragged the confused Laede out of the room

I sighed in relief before staring at Ouma but I knew we had other priorities at hand

“Everyone! Hide!”

-TimeSkip YET AGAIN-

I stared at Amami confused I know he has good intentions since he’s my friend but…? Why was he asking so much? Was he distracting me from something?

“N-No he’s my friend…Yep my friend! I should trust him!” I thought smiling to myself

And so we kept chatting about random topics he seemed to be worried about something but I kept that to myself

[I think we’ve even bonded a bit!]

….

….

Okay he’s gone quiet…

Amami seemed to mutter to himself for a bit after I couldn’t quite make it out either but he seemed to be important

“Um…Rantarou-Kun is something wrong?” Kaede asked tilting her head the boy shot up before smiling

“N-No!! Of course not…Hey um…Could you follow me?” Amami asked grabbing Kaede’s hand but before she could reply she was dragged off yet again and why were they headed for the gym?

“Hey R-RANTAROU-KUN!! Why are we going towards-!” Before she could finished Amami pushed her towards the gym doors

“KYA!” And she hit them opening them wide

She saw 'it’ though all of her friends lined but yelling “Happy birthday!” she couldn’t help but smile

She than hit the ground

“…Ow” Kaede said raising her head from the ground

“..Hehe..Sorry about that Akamastsu-San happy birthday though I hope you enjoy this”

“…Yeah…Your a good kid hope you have a good life,Happy birthday”

“Agreed, Akamastsu-San I hope to serve you even more for days to come,Happy birthday”

“Angie thinks so too!! Angie wishes you a happy-happy birthday!! Ooh~? What’s that? Oh! Kami-Sama wishes the same! Angie is proud of you Kaede!”

“Tenko wishes the same! You are truly a great friend,No..Sister to Tenko! Tenko wishes you the happiest birthday!!”

“Kukuku…Truly I wish you a happy birthday as well..Onee-Sama says so as well”

“OI! Bakamastsu better enjoy the party! Happy birthday slut!”

“Gonta isn’t quite sure on what a 'birthday’ is but he hopes for you to be happy So…Happy birthday!! D-Did I say it right?”

“Nishinishi~ I don’t care if it’s your birthday I just got bored and came here *wink* Stilll it be rude not to say it so,Happy B-Day Akamastsu-Chan!~”

“OI! Shut up Ouma!! Oh yeah my turn right? Your a good friend ya know that? So happy b-day!”

“Um…I don’t have anything to say… I..Um I truly like you as a friend Akamastsu-San so happy birthday….”

“Akamastsu-San I don’t have the slightest clue on what a 'Birthday’ is but I wish you 'it’!!”

“…Jeez my turn…Happy birthday Akamastsu…J-Just so you know I Don’t care, Kaito the idiot forced to participate..That’s a-all!!”

“..Naa…aaaa so sleepy,….A-A…All I gotta do is say .. Happy birthday Akamastsu-San? That’s too tiresome~“

“Akamastsu-San…”

“I-I hope you like this birthday party we’ve prepared because we all truly wish you a happy birthday” Shuichi said lending Kaede his hand

“..Everyone…” Kaede said staring at the 15 others in front of her

She slowly smiled before grabbing Shuichi’s hand

“Thank you all…”

[hsj-scenarios]

In this case, I would like to request something, how about parenting headcanons with the boys? What kind of father/husband would each of them be?

Some members have less headcanons than others, but that’s just because I don’t have as strong an image of them as parents than others ^^; Also put under readmore for the length of the post! – Mod L

Ryosuke:

he’s said before that he expects to get married in his 30s, once idol work has slowed down

is a husband with concealed guilt, as he feels that he’s made you wait a long time for something so cherished as marriage – especially if you’re older than him

because of this, he apologizes for little things that seem huge in his mind; from keeping you waiting for a simple outing to keeping you waiting well into the night because of work

he’s always keeping you waiting, isn’t he?

puts his foot down against his work schedule more when your first child is born, a son

Ryosuke loves children, and that love is increased 10x towards his own kids

wants a lot more kids tbh

eventually, the two of you are looking at three children – a son and two little daughters that are one year apart

the house becomes a lot more livelier and he loves it

however, though idol work is basically retired, he’s still very relevant in the acting world

it kills him to miss your son’s soccer game…and one of your daughter’s first words; which was ‘gaa’ (kaasan?)

spends a whole day trying to help your second daughter say ‘otousan’

heck, even just ‘tousan’ or ‘chichi’

days off spent at home seem like heaven on earth to the both of you, using the time as family days to spend at the park or simply at home

while the children were still toddlers, Ryosuke would hold them for so long that you’d warn they would never learn to walk if he spoiled them so much

and spoil them he does indeed, especially his daughters

if mom says no, then dad is the go to person!

“Dad, can I have this?” will almost always end up with ‘yes’, unless someone didn’t do their chores or misbehaved

and even though he’s a little harsher on his son, it’s only because he’s the oldest child; so Ryosuke expects the most responsibility out of the boy

makes up for it by taking his son on outings with just the two of them

despite spoiling them, he always has room for a joke or two at their expense

makes light of a bad grade by joking that they didn’t study enough or you weren’t eating well enough during your pregnancy

still, he’s never ashamed to let his children know how much he loves them or how proud he is of them no matter what

Ryosuke as a dad joke:

Yuto:

is a loving husband if there ever was one, there’s no shortage of kisses and hugs in your household

had a camera in his hand 98% of the time during your wedding, the only time he didn’t was when you both were saying your vows

“Just one glimpse for the camera before the wedding starts?” “Yuto, it’s bad luck to see the bride before then!”

as expected, he has a camera in his hand for your child’s birth (well, maybe not during childbirth lol) and all while they’re growing up

dad is the ‘cameraman’, as his child so fondly grows to call him

like Ryosuke, he’s likely grown into a more steady figure in the acting world as well

doesn’t mind taking you or your child on set with him, showing them off to his co-workers

look what he made! he can’t help but feel proud of them

for the kid, it’s a little surreal seeing their dad be the one behind a camera

because of the trips to see him work, it isn’t too surprising when someone wants to cast one of your children in a movie or drama; thus they’ll follow their dad’s footsteps

if this becomes more frequent, Yuto will adjust his schedule to be able to monitor his kid and basically act as a manager for them

he doesn’t want life in the spotlight to be too hard on them, especially at a young age

but at home, they never forget that their father is just as normal as any other

sometimes Yuto can’t help but go back to his dorky and childish ways

“Mom, can we have cake for dinner?”

he’ll join in, “I want some too…Can we, please?” cue a puppy dog look.

you swear, you’re the only adult in the house

personally, i can see Yuto comfortable with one or two kids, but if you want more then he won’t mind that either

Yuto as a dad joke:

Chinen:

like Yuto, I can see him completely fine with having only one kid

but boy, does it take everyone by surprise

the ‘baby’ of Hey Say Jump is having a baby?!

proud to let people know that you guys have a baby on the way, he probably phoned all of his friends and close family about it

Ryosuke and Keito invited the two of you out to celebrate the announcement – no alcohol for you though, of course!

don’t worry, Ryosuke’s paying

Chinen actually turns out to be a responsible and good father

if there’s ever a doctor’s appointment or birthday coming up, he’ll firmly let his work know that he can’t make it in

always good on his turn to get up at night to take care of the baby, hardly complaining

tries to savor the years his kids are small before they get taller than he is

probably the most rational parent

teaches the children gymnastics once they’re old enough

when your kid falls and scrapes their knee while playing, Chinen calmly takes care of the cut and lets the child know that everything is okay

he says it’s the more appropriate approach than freaking out over every injury, otherwise the kid will become scared as well

grows into a fairly strict father, knowing when to set boundaries and when to ease up on the rules

it wouldn’t be surprising if your kids end up successful one way or the other, having such a responsible father to guide them

Chinen as a dad joke:

Keito:

after the two of you are newly married, it’s as if you’d just met once again (in a good way) and Keito is adorably shy around you

even so, he gradually becomes normal again and does sweet things for you now and then; like breakfast in bed or random hugs and kisses throughout the day

you’re the newly wed couple all of your friends get diabetes from being around tbh

it doesn’t take long before you’re pregnant with your first child

and Keito is both incredibly happy and absolutely clueless

when is your stable period? what can and can’t you eat and drink?? would traveling too much be no good??? what about sitting down too much????

there’s a lot of phone calls to his mom for help

eventually, you find out that you’re having twins and he nearly passes out upon hearing the information

two kids? already?

are you both ready??

needless to say, Keito was one of those husbands that hardly left their pregnant wife’s side

once the children are born, he calms down…until you take the babies home

that’s when the real work begins, of course

having two babies, you both have your work cut out for you

there was plenty a night where you two slept in the nursery, too tired to get bad to the bedroom

but it was always a team effort, one taking up the slack of the other if either of you were too tired

even when the babies grow up to kids and then to teens, he’s still a learning father and handles everything as it goes

doesn’t go the same route as his father in order to help his children learn a new language and culture, but the family might all spend long vacations in England to get a new world view

Keito as a dad joke:

Daiki:

is also one of those husbands who wouldn’t want to leave their pregnant wife’s side, but he’ll think to read up on how to take care of a pregnant woman as well

actually attempts to cook a healthy meal for you…and fails

feels bad that he still has to rely on you to make decent meals, but makes up for it by helping when he’s not out working

before he goes off to work every morning, even before you’re showing, he says goodbye to both you and your baby by laying his hand on your stomach

he can’t ignore Baby Arioka, can he?

one day before he leaves, when you’re months in the pregnancy, the two of you are surprised to finally feel the kick of your baby directed at his hand

and Daiki’s so happy, “He heard me!”

he’s so sure it’s a son, already planning out father/son activities for when the baby is old enough

once the baby is born, he somehow gets enough energy to get out of bed every time the baby cries – at least for a while, then he wants to take turns

but for that first while, Daiki was a total champion

no matter how long the baby might cry, if they’re in Daiki’s arms then they’ll eventually quiet down

it almost hurts when the same thing doesn’t happen for you (lol)

son or daughter, it becomes clear that this is a total daddy’s child

it isn’t uncommon to come into the living room and see Daiki asleep on the floor, your baby – now a toddler – asleep on his stomach

not to mention the piggyback rides

upon becoming a child, regardless of gender, Daiki carries out those father/child days by going to the park and playing

a daddy’s kid indeed is what they probably grow up to be, since Daiki would likely be an excellent father

Daiki as a dad joke:

Inoo:

everyone’s a bit worried about how Inoo would turn out as a father, but also curious as well

he’s so relaxed, wouldn’t the kids try to take advantage of him?

honestly though, he’s worried too; which he confides in you later into your pregnancy

he’s clueless, basically put. everyone else is right.

but aren’t all new fathers even a little bit clueless on how to raise a child? experience will come with time.

and it does

though he’s hesitant to take care of the baby alone, you’re there to help him through his insecurities and eventually he feels more comfortable

there was a time when Inoo was too afraid to even hold the baby for an extended period of time, now he’ll hardly let the baby go

if it’s a girl, he’ll almost always come home with a brand new outfit for her – pretty and pink, usually

once the baby is older, he adopts a cat to grow up alongside the baby

it was a pretty impulsive decision tbh

but apparently your baby loves the cat, so everything turns out alright

by the next child, he’s much better at parenting

though he’ll always freak out at the slightest injury or illness that comes your children’s way, that’s a habit Inoo will probably never break lmao

Inoo as a dad joke:

Hikaru:

dad jokes

dad jokes

DAD JOKES

when you told him you were pregnant, he stared for a few moments before basically saying “Hello pregnant, I’m dad.”

it was then, you knew the next years would be a journey

whenever you two are relaxing at home, he’ll try to lay headphones on your stomach or play music on the stereo

“It makes the baby smarter, right?” honestly, you have a feeling he’s just playing around with you…

talks to the baby while you’re still pregnant, mostly jokingly but sometimes serious

“You listening, Baby Yaotome? We need you to be born healthy, okay?”

the baby seems to have a knack for ignoring the two of you, as they’ll never kick when either of you talk to them

more so, they’ll kick when you’re in the middle of talking or out of the house

they like to take you off guard

and take you off guard they do when they’re ready to come into the world prematurely

Baby Yaotome turns out to be ‘babies’ at the birth of triplets, though they need to be closely monitored because of the time of birth

luckily, their chance of survival was good; over 80%

once the babies were finally considered safe to take home, Hikaru didn’t think of how hard it would be to take care of triplets; but more so how happy he is that the babies survived

“Listen to me from now on, okay?” He told each of them once they were safe at home in their cribs

despite that, they all grow up to be rambunctious kids – energetic and rowdy

still, their father always seems to have a one up on them

trying to get away with having dessert before dinner? Hikaru’s hidden the sweets

attempting to sneak out to hang out with friends? Hikaru’s guessed the plan and is waiting in the living room

having trouble with school? Hikaru’s sensed their unease an offers to help

it’s nothing he hasn’t gone through before or empathized with

“Dad’s psychic.” you hear your kids joking around

but, no

he’s just afraid of losing his children in any way, especially after almost losing them once before

Hikaru as a dad joke:

Yuya:

though he accepted having children as a part of life, at least to him, Yuya was a bit afraid of fatherhood

okay, a LOT afraid

while you’re pregnant, things become a little awkward, but mostly on his end

“Uh…you want me to get you something while I’m out?” he poses the question from the doorway, on his way out for probably the 5th time this week?

and it was Wednesday…

your pregnancy was starting to feel a little lonely

if you let him know your feelings, he’ll sober up and take responsibility

if you don’t, however, he will come around eventually; spewing apologies about his previous behavior

in a way, he was trying to escape fatherhood before it began – not wanting to stop a life with just the two of you yet

but, in the process of doing that, he was distancing himself from you too

something he certainly didn’t want

and so, he’s there faithfully for the rest of the pregnancy

after the birth, he can’t imagine how he ever tried to avoid this bundle of joy and cuteness

still, he hardly knows how to take care of children; at least for more than a short time

so he makes up for by giving them the best he can; the best clothes, the best baby formula, and spoils them when they get older

despite being very giving monetary wise, he always puts his foot down if he feels the child is taking advantage of him or misbehaving

respectful of his kid’s boundaries and in return they respect him a lot

Yuya eventually grows into a good father, which goes unnoticed by him for a long while until someone brings it up

“Really? I’m just going by my gut, honestly.”

Yuya as a dad joke:

Yabu:

from the moment the pregnancy is announced, Yabu swears he’s ready for fatherhood

bring on TEN kids, he can handle ‘em

his confidence lasts until he’s waiting for the baby to born, sweating like he ran a marathon

that’s not just out of worry for a healthy birth

is nervous for the first few weeks, asking for your guidance on pretty much everything

as well as reading several books on parenting

wow, no amount of studying could’ve ever prepared him on this

eases into things pretty well, however, and taking care of his child seems like second nature

sings them to sleep now and then, you find nothing can sooth them better than Yabu’s voice

when he’s away and they won’t stop crying, you have to phone him late into the night just to sing over the phone

he buys the a teddy bear that can record voices and it’s been a savior for times when he can’t the phone

diligent in teaching them how to walk and talk from an early age, encouraging fast learning

actually tries to get them to do many activities as early as they can, even fun ones like bowling with a plastic ball and pins

the dad that shows up to all of his kid’s events, he doesn’t miss a beat

always there to help with homework and if neither of them know the answer, they’ll learn it together

lax on the rules now and then, but cross him too much then he has the worst disapproving gaze you can ever give

can be a scary dad when the house rules are disrespected, though never outright angry

his obvious disappointment is just so strong the feelings carry on to everyone in the household

can make the kids feel guilty af for acting out

seriously, don’t cross him

on a lighter note…

DAD JOKES 10X

even failed ones

“I used to be a prince you know.”

“Dad, no.”

“That makes you a prince/ss, right? You should act more like royalty.”

“Dad, you were an idol.”

“People thought of idols as royalty…Sort of.”

“Dad, no.”

he just wants to be funny around his kids…

Yabu as a dad joke:

[sheepnanigans]

Happy Sunday! Are you ready to be heartbroken?

They don't have time alone together for days. Causeway is bothered by how quickly things are passing. They've already been on Concertia for a full week, and the details have blurred together. She sleeps in Valiant's guest room, next to her ex-girlfriend. She lives in a house with half her family, with a pilot she only knows as rescuer, activist, motivator. She eats food she doesn't pay for, and she sleeps, gods alive, does she sleep. For long hours, both the black void of depression-driven slumber and the hectic, vivid color of trauma-laced dreaming. She wakes unrested, and counts the tiles in the ceiling.

Bear won't take her calls. When she goes to the garage to see him, his coworkers invent places for him to be. His avoidance speaks louder than he ever could. Causeway sends him texts, good morning and good night. She sends him pictures of flowers. He never responds. If not for read receipts, Cause might think he stopped existing just to get away from her. She knows his grief is more powerful than a dying star, but she also knows that her texts and Valiant's presence on the satellite are his only tethers. Bear needs tethers.

"I have good news," Mosquita says one morning, as they are finishing breakfast. She sits on the edge of an armchair, addressing the room as a whole. "Chang Wenyan is at a safehouse."

Roundworm, from her place at the table, nods. "That is good."

"I also have bad news," says Mosquita, though her tone hardly wavers from it's normal standard of pep. "Peréz thinks there's something wrong with his port. Apparently he's been having headaches, mood swings, that sort of thing."

"He spent four years in a federal prison," Luli says. "Mood swings seem like a normal reaction."

"They seemed very upset," Mosquita shrugs. "They said they thought the government may have downloaded something into his brain, if that's even possible."

"That doesn't sound possible," Luli frowns. Cause shifts in her corner of the couch. It takes a colossal effort to brings herself into the conversation.

"I don't really know how all that works," Mosquita says.

"No one does." Causeway swallows a yawn. "How the brain interacts with organic tech is a fucking mystery, and street mods are always a risk. It's like taking drugs from a stranger, so who knows what the government did to Chang in the four years they had access to his port."

"But I thought bioware only worked as long as it was plugged in," Luli says.

"That's what everyone thinks, yeah, but we don't actually know." She picks at a hangnail on her pointer finger, wondering if the government did anything to her, all those times she was unconscious. Does tinkering in someone's brain count as torture, or did Luli's interference prevent that cruelty too? "Ask anyone in the scene and you'll hear horror stories of digital sickness; memory loss, outbursts, psychotic episodes."

Luli looks appropriately uncomfortable. Causeway tries to give her a sympathetic smile but her expressions were already difficult to control around Luli and it's only gotten worse since they crammed their bodies together and still haven't talked about it.

"The General wants us on Qucumatz as soon as possible," Mosquita says. "And they asked if I could bring a computerman."

"Sorry," Causeway tells her, and finds that she means it. "I'm not ready to jump back in, yet."

"I'm not going, either," Luli says, and Mosquita startles. "I want to stay with Causeway."

The room chills faster than should be possible. It was said so casually, as if Luli didn't know the hurt it would cause, as if it shouldn't come as a surprise that she chooses something over the revolution. Mosquita stares at her for a moment, then shifts her accusation to Causeway, who only shakes her head, an explanation well beyond her reckoning.

"But…" Mosquita's brow furrows. "We need you."

"You knew I was only in this for one reason," Luli tells her.

"But we need a doctor," Mosquita insists and her voice pitches high, just this side of urgent. "Especially if he has digital sickness, we need someone who worked inside Helioal hospitals."

"I'm sorry." She tries to sound patient, Causeway can tell, and patience was never something she had in stock.

"I can find you a government doctor," Roundworm says. She has the tone of a mediator, parental and firm.

"That's not the point." Mosquita glares at Luli, such anger in her broad shoulders, in her tiny, dense frame, she looks like she may burst. "You know, it was bad enough that the famous Valiant and her famous Bear didn't want to help, but you? After everything?"

Luli frowns, her mouth half-open, nothing to defend herself with.

Mosquita pulls her lips tight, shakes her head. "I thought this meant more to you."

"That's not fair—" Luli pleads, but Mosquita gets to her feet and goes out the front door without another word. A moment later, her GPS pings alive on the tablet in the kitchen. Luli curls her feet under her, and huffs. "She knew. I told her all I wanted was to free you."

"Okay," Causeway mumbles.

"I never made any promises to the Militia."

"Okay," she repeats.

"She's even more idealistic than you." Luli still scowls. Causeway doesn't know if that's supposed to insult her, so she just slumps down into the couch and closes her eyes. She's grateful Valiant wasn't around to see the show.

She dozes there for some time, forcing herself to ignore the sounds of the day. The apartment is tidied around her, and conversation blends choppily with the images of her dreams. She dreams of purple shapes approaching from the distance, and a high, mechanical vibrato that makes her hair stand on end. She dreams of the mundane, scrubbing the floors of her childhood home, playing video games with unidentified friends, eating hot and sour soup in winter. She dreams of birds standing on top of each other, speaking to each other with Luli's and Roundworm's voices. She dreams of horses and the smell of clean air.

Valiant's touch on her knee brings her back to reality. "Hey there," Val murmurs. "You were twitching."

"Oh," says Cause. She works her tongue around to clear the thick taste of sleep from her mouth.

"It's almost dinnertime," Valiant tells her and Causeway frowns.

"I just had breakfast."

"No, honey, you've been out for a few hours."

The smell of cooked rice fills the apartment and Mosquita, back from her escape, settles into the armchair with a bowl of something warm and aromatic. Causeway can't quite pick up details, still fuzzy-headed and lethargic. She makes room for Val on the couch, but her familiar weight does little to ground Cause's focus. Even Roundworm placing a hot bowl in her lap doesn't help. A picture frame on the coffee table flashes through old photos. She doesn't remember anyone turning it on.

She finds herself staring at Luli, the shape of her mouth as she blows on her food before eating, her wide, forward facing ears poking through her hair, the perfect balance of her reading glasses, the way her tablet illuminates her face. Causeway runs her tongue along her gums and pretends to be hungry. The mere thought of kissing Luli sends a rush of heat through her stomach and vulva. It was a bad idea, she knows that. Getting back together could not have come at a more inconvenient time. She hasn't told anyone about their relationship, she's not even sure if Mosquita knows.

Causeway rubs her mouth and looks at the picture frame instead as it rhythmically plays through Val's favorite photos. Roundworm in dark red lipstick, then a picture of her and Valiant in a patch of grass somewhere, a bottle of ferment between them. Cause has a guess that it's Bear behind the camera. He shows up in the next few photos, all candid, while he's not paying attention. Valiant seems to only catch him while he's working, staring intently at a monitor, or elbow deep in an engine. There is a picture of the three of them together, crammed into a selfie, Val's arm taking up a third of the frame. Objectively, they all look like idiots, but Bear is smiling, so Causeway knows why it wasn't deleted.

The picture frame switches to a photo of her, bent over the center console of the Icelander, a quickskill in her neck and a pen between her teeth. She remembers being on Gascara when it was taken, reprogramming the speech commands in the cockpit. It was right after she'd healed enough to start plugging in 'skills.

"I hated selling that ship," Val says. "First home Bear and I had after we left our moon."

"First time I went into space," Cause says. "I'd only been on airplanes before. Way less thrilling."

A photo of Chicxulub appears on screen, and Causeway goes numb. She knows Bear took this one, too, because Chic is grinning so wide his eyes are crinkled shut, and he reaches with one hand, as if to take the camera. Next is another selfie, Bear's face hidden in Chic's shoulder, and Chic pressing a kiss to his hair.

"Shit," Causeway hisses. "God, I miss him."

Valiant squeezes her hand. "Should I turn it off?"

"No, it's okay." She swallows to stave off tears, sick of crying all the damn time, sick of being out of control.

"Who is that?" Mosquita asks carefully.

"My brother," says Valiant. "That's Bear."

"Who's the other guy?"

Val stares at her. Causeway frowns.

"What?" She looks between Chic's smiling face and Mosquita's cautious curiosity. Could he have looked so different when they threw him into space? Could they have made him unrecognizable? "That's Chicxulub…"

Mosquita's face goes pale. She and Luli exchange a look that only be described as alarmed.

Valiant's voice is hard when she asks, "What is going on?"

Causeway can tell her mind and body are disconnecting, hysteria brewing somewhere in between, from the mere sight of Mosquita's round, terrified face.

"Tell me," Valiant barks. "Now."

"It wasn't him," Luli's voice is a whisper. She speaks to the picture frame, to the parade of images, and to the middle distance, her eyes tracking blankly as she tries to understand.

"What?"

"That's not the man they killed."

Silence swells inside the room. Causeway lets out a noise, like a cry, or a gag, and then vomits into her own hands.

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