#since the models are so different at this point i think that was a callback. but they reuse SO much from gens 7 and 8

[cozymochi]

nyoka is always very professional in the way he interacts with people, he's the perfect model of what the scion of an important family looks like in my mind! do you think he would have been this solemn even if he wasn't the wadjet heir, or is his personality influenced by his background? would he disapprove of the way kalim conducts himself, as someone in a similar position? also, does he take pride in the idea of becoming the next head of his family, or are thoughts like those too juvenile for him?

(Thank u ❤️. Sorry for the incoming wall of text under the read-more cut.)

Do you think he would have been this solemn even if he wasn't the Wadjet heir, or is his personality influenced by his background?

ERMMMM… little of column A, little of column B. I think likely would still be relatively the same. He’s a cobra beastman. I’m going to go on a meta tangent really quick but bear with me— 🦁🍩🐺

From what I can tell, TWST in general tends to give the Beastmen characters shared traits with their (IRL) animal counterparts. As a treat.

There’s course in-universe rational explanations and factors, but as a rule of thumb if the IRL animal has a behavioral characteristic or some kind of common cultural depiction, or stereotype— beastmen in TWST will share them in some regard.

Ex. Male Lions sleep a lot, so Leona sleeps a lot.

Hyenas are scavengers, so Ruggie is a scavenger.

Wolves are the subject in the “lone wolf” term, so Jack embodies that trope.

^Extremely simplistic pitches and I am doing a disservice to the layers involved, but the point is being made.

And all three of those above IRL animals have hierarchal social systems within their own groups. So it gets deeper.

Ex. IRL Wolves are actually more strict about their pack hierarchy, so Jack is more strict about how he perceives the one in Savanaclaw;

Clear leader, clear second-in-command, etc. etc. and he has already imposed a role on himself beneath those tiers with very little desire to impose, even if everyone else sees it as more “survival of the fittest—” which! For lion Leona and hyena Ruggie, makes more sense because their animal counterpart hierarchies do operate like that. (And Savanaclaw in general, but, y’know. Specifics.)

That whole pattern of using whatever the IRL traits the source animals have for informing characterization is still present for Nyoka. At least, that what I wanted to try following.

…In a meta sense, anyway. All of the above is just meta stuff with only occasional references in-text.

So with all that squared away—

Egyotian cobras, or at the very basic level, cobras are an entirely different ballpark than the above predators.

Cobras are completely solitary. Unlike all the social animals above, they want nothing to do with other creatures and will try to avoid confrontation. They aren’t mean exactly, but will warn you if they feel threatened. They’re considered “shy” and just want to be left alone. These things are completely different from the social mammals above who, despite everything, absolutely thrive in groups.

It becomes a matter of bringing those characteristics back in.

Having Nyoka be more of an “academic” type within a more sport-oriented dorm was just one way of immediate differentiation. (That and just me wanting to diversify the pool of the dorm students a little bit since we don’t see that treatment much for Savanaclaw. Mobs are usually portrayed as antagonistic bruisers and as diverse as NRC is I would like to believe there are a few more outliers beyond the core cast.)

And, for consideration, cobras also can’t make facial expressions. So having Nyoka mostly be stoic or subdued in how he presents himself seemed like a decent callback to that.

(He has his eccentricities… as a treat)

Stoicness can be viewed as dignified and ideal behavior. Nobody likes a complainer who doesn’t do as they’re told. Nyoka just does what he’s told without complaint or fuss. It’s a means of avoiding confrontation. Nyoka has a pattern of that regardless of the situations severity, if at all.

So, even if he wasn’t a scion to a noble family with an image to uphold or what have you, he likely would still be rather closed-off.

He doesn’t follow the “pack” in Savanaclaw exactly, it’s not really in his personality to do so. He’s not a contrarian by any means (mind, cobras might be solitary but it is survival of the fittest out there + hey, he’s a Leona glazer with the best of them /hj), but it’s just not in him to engage with others or make a scene. He was brought up to be prudent for the most part and very wary of his surroundings.

He just wants to be left alone and go with the motions. Within his dorm especially his behavior is more on the “stay out of the way/defensive” side.

He’s a “reptile” surrounded by a bunch of rambunctious mammals who always get into beef with each other. He is not into being eaten, so to speak.

If he’s caught alone, he’s a little more biting in how he speaks. (Pun entirely intended.)

I do not think his personal affairs would shift his behavior too considerably with all of the above in mind. Meta or otherwise.

And that’s not even addressing the animated counterparts. Woof.

Would he disapprove of the way kalim conducts himself, as someone in a similar position?

He finds Kalim’s manners and decorum less-than something to be desired. Unless he were in a position where giving his opinion can occur and is permitted, he will otherwise keep that to himself.

(Granted, to be fair, he thinks nearly everyone’s manners are bad in some capacity. If his first peeve is being bothered, his second one is bad manners.)

Besides, their families do business together. He is likely going to communicate with this person in the foreseeable future, so being compatible to the public is more of a priority than personal peeves.

Does he take pride in the idea of becoming the next head of his family, or are thoughts like those too juvenile for him?

It’s less of a “pride” thing, and more of a duty thing. He’s going to be the next head not matter what, so he should treat it with dignity. He has no intense personal feelings towards it since it’s something he has to do. At least, not outwardly so.

His answer will never change if asked about it and won’t hint at any personal feelings.

But he is under quite a deal of pressure, but he would never let those cracks show on the surface.

Imagine being in a position where you are and will be the face of your entire clam of people- whom— btw are already very misunderstood and full of pre-conceived assumptions by outsiders, and whatever you do or say will reflect on how everybody else is potentially perceived——

And all that coming off the heels of some event years prior that did quite a bit of interpersonal damage that wasn’t even your fault, but you do often wonder how different things would be if it didn’t happen and it wasn’t you who had to carry all of this. What would you even be doing?

So that’s there! As a treat.

He will remain obstinate on being seen as composed, compatible and dignified at all times. It’s not his place to insert personal feelings.

[gospelofme]

Across the Spider-Verse stuff

I really went all out on this one

I can 100% understand Miguel’s mission goals. I understand what he was trying to get through to Miles. That each and every Spider-Man has a journey they go through with hurdles that make them who they’re supposed to be. That’s what each and every one of us have in our lives too. The things that we encounter shape us into who we are supposed to be. Both good and bad. Without Uncle Ben (or an Uncle Ben figure), Peter doesn’t become Spider-Man.

That being said, of course Miles is going to try to stop his father’s death. Hell, Pavitr Prabhakar was moments away from his “Captain Stacy” moment and even he said “I can do both”. Miles would’ve tried to save his father even if he hadn’t known it was how the story was supposed to play out. Just like Pavitr was about to attempt. Miguel was trying to prevent the collapse of Miles’s universe. You can’t change what is fated to happen, which in a way is a callback to the What If episode with Dr. Strange where he was trying to save Christine repeatedly, but she ended up always dying (not always in the same fashion).

However, I do want to point out that Miguel doesn’t have the ability to see into the future. He doesn’t know exactly how Miles’s story is suppose to play out. He is going by how the pattern has worked out so far for other Spider-Men. Even LYLA says that his father’s death will occur in 2 days according to the model. But that model is obviously different for everyone as Gwen’s father was a Captain and was still alive (and since he is no longer a Captain, that Captain Stacy moment won’t happen to her). We have already seen slight variations in each Spider-verse story. It’s not always “Uncle Ben”, it’s Peni’s father, Gwen’s friend Peter, Miles’s Uncle Aaron. So who’s to say how the survival of Miles’s father will impact the canon. Gwen posited him that same question, if he knew what would happen if Miles saved his father. She knows what happened to Miguel, but what Miguel did was different. He slipped into the role of a version of himself who had died (which makes me wonder, what did Miguel do to his body? How easy was it to slip into that version’s role? Did he watch enough to know what’s happening in that universe?). He didn’t prevent something that was supposed to happen. If he had been able to see the future, he would’ve been able to see the consequences his actions would have.

Miguel claims that if the spider that bit Miles hadn’t been taken from Earth-42, then that Earth would have a Spider-Man. But how does he know that? He’s assuming it would because that’s “what the model shows”. He says that if Miles hadn’t been bitten, then his Earth’s original Spider-Man would’ve lived. But how does he know? Again he’s assuming because “that’s what the model shows”. What if Miles was fated to be there? What if that Peter was fated to die at that moment? Honestly I don’t think Spider-Man would’ve fared differently in that fight.

I have a feeling we’ll explore more of this in Beyond the Spider-Verse. I think Miguel is basing a lot of his beliefs off of what LYLA reports. I don’t know if LYLA takes into account the variations in each Spider-Man story. She goes by a baseline but doesn’t take into account the differences. Since Gwen’s “Captain Stacy” moment hadn’t yet happened (and now won’t happen), perhaps Miles’s Captain Stacy moment doesn’t involve his father. Just like how Peni’s father’s death was her Uncle Ben catalyst.

[kaythefloppa]

Part 2 of the review is under the cut! Beware of spoilers!

Again, I will re-iterate: This specific animation feels on par with an actual theatrical release (or hell, even some of those polished Disney direct-to-DVD movies in the 2000s like Lion King 3 or Bambi II). It is beautiful to look at.

The only animals that can take down a blue whale are Orcas, but beyond that, yes size does matter when it comes to a blue whale's low mortality rate.

I really find it sweet how this show casually has Chris naming animal friends. The show initially set it up as being Martin's "thing" and presenting Chris doing it as a rarity, but now they just have it as the "new normal" where he can name animals without Martin's influence. The very next episode does a juxtaposition of this where the entire crew goes around naming animals as the plot, but it's not a bad juxtaposition at all.

Also, I really like the idea of them naming baby animals in the language of their region. Maybe it's because I've spent too much time in the Lion King fandom but I find that really unique. (And context: Mambiky means "Jump" in Malgasy).

Since he didn't name the mom, I will: Mihira (meaning "Sing" in Malagasy)

Maybe it's because I hyper fixate on the flash games too much which resulted in me caring way more about the disc colors than I should, but it is so aesthetically pleasing that these discs are blue and green to match their animals' colors and users (I forgot to mention this in Part 1 but the Anaconda Disc should've been green dammit)

I am slowly warming up to these new suits. I'm not even kidding. I like how goofy they are. And once again, this is the same episode where the fucking Wild Pony Suit was in a callback, so of course I'm going to praise these suits.

She plottin'

Those Zachbots get mangled by the enemy literally once a week and yet they're strong enough to chuck this big-ass turtle into the beach?? Also, what happened to that Tortuga disruptor blast, that would be very useful right now.

Also also, the Tortuga can swim. This is the equivalent of throwing a crocodile into the river with the intent to kill it, hoping it won't bite you or swim away to safety.

I did the math. They spent a full minute and 10 seconds focusing on this model of the Earth completely deteriorating. When I first asked, I kept asking myself "What is the point?" I've seen this episode almost four times - Knowing how it ends, I think this episode would have shot itself in the foot if they didn't include this scene. More on that later, but yeah, it is a good scene.

Fun fact: This is the exact reason why Indris are endangered. And for a species that literally cannot evolve anywhere else that, is a keystone species of the very habitat they have gone to evolve in, that is the last thing they need. I'm surprised the episode didn't mention that, but that's just me.

Legitimate question here: Where the fuck is Rex?

No really, where the fuck is he? He's usually the one who mans the pavers while Paisley overviews. We saw him literally just 2 episodes ago. In a vacuum, it makes little sense, but is equally as minute of an issue. But once again, if you know how this episode ends, it becomes a major plot-hole. If they resolve this in a future episode, ideally in the next batch of episodes, fine I'll lay off but there is no reason for him to not be here.

Notice Zach and Paisley's differing reactions to the Kratts telling them to fuck off. This will come into play later, but it is a decent example of a set-up to a pay-off, (again, can only be noticed from a retrospective view). And I think it does help said pay-off.

I know that Zach has tried to kill the bros before multiple times, as with all the other villains but I can't be the only one who was shocked at how the Zachbots almost SLICED CHRIS IN HALF on a kids' show. I actually yelled "oh shit!" a this!

God this is such an asspull it's not even funny...

1. SINCE F**KING WHEN?!?!?!

2. "Theoretically"

BULLSHIT!!!

ZACH HAS LITERALLY DONE THE EXACT SAME THING BECAUSE IT WAS A FLAW. A BUG. NOT A FEATURE. A BUG. THAT HE FOUND OUT. AND EXPLOITED. THAT YOU NEVER FIXED. I REPEAT. BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.

3. If you could do this now, what stopped you from doing it at ANY point in the series??

4. What the fuck happened to the Creature Souvenir collection? All Chris could've done was tell Jimmy to reverse teleport shed anaconda skin back to the HQ and save it for later.

5. What are the point of the gloves if you can hit the rewind button on the suit? Since the animal's DNA apparently doesn't mean jackshit here???

6. Did it not occur to you that maybe Zach, who has done this countless of times before for years on end, would probably be able to undo what you plan on doing, because that's EXACTLY what he does!

7. WHY IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE??? THE ENTIRE EXISTENCE OF THE RING CHIP WAS TO PREVENT THIS. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG WHICH THIS DOES.

This is the woman who invented time travel, I'm being selfish by expecting basic fucking logic to dictate this situation.

So there's a Blue Crab Power Suit now?? Don't you think that would've been more effective, especially since this is the beach?? Will we ever get a blue crab episode?? Does anything mean anything anymore????

Still better than the Mountain Goat Suit.

We stan a self-aware queen (also, replace this image with Dr. Frankenstein and his monster with the same dialogue, you will get the EXACT same effect).

S7 please stop giving me reasons to slander Aviva, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

Petition to have Chris be the new villain in Kung Fu Panda 5, the Chameleon ain't got shit on him.

THis show can be hilariously badass when it needs to be.

And here is a huge contender for the best scene in the entire damn show. These 2 octopuses go out of their way to save Chris from the Zachbot. It's one of those things that is so random that it you wind up liking it so much because of what it does.

Also, I think there was a missed opportunity for Chris to activate Octopus Power here.

I like how polite she was in asking them to leave. At first glance, it's odd and funny, but just wait. We're reaching the home stretch here.

Once again, this is another juxtaposition and one that is so cleverly written. Paisley is obsessed with order, believing nature to be messy and in need of "correction" through building. Her entire belief system being deconstructed by seeing the coral reef being built naturally and seeing its beauty is an amazing bit of dramatic irony that surprises me even for this show. It's an interesting study on the character.. (though the fact that up until this point she's been painfully underutilized, makes previous episodes.. feel kinda downy).

This is another interesting step. Most villain redemptions (well written ones at least) focus on the villain regretting their past actions and acknowledging them to be in the wrong. Whilst that step is (unfortunately) kinda missing in this episode, it showcases something equally enthralling. They change for the better out of a specific concern for the future. As in, "If I stop doing X, then this bad thing will not happen because it should not happen." I don't often see that enough in most shows, so once again, this is a very ingenuitive take on the character. If I sound like a parrot, it's only because this particular moment of the episode is the beginning of the trajectory change for the entire fucking show, so I have to focus on it and how it's written specifically so we can get to the elephant in the room.

There is nothing - Absolutely nothing that prepared me for this moment. I was in sheer denial the whole time, waiting for the catch. I thought it was going to be a fake-out like the one in the Christmas special, or just the villain surrendering for the episode. I was fully ready for a twist. Only to realize that this WAS the twist. They pushed themselves into a corner they can't back out of.

Paisly Paver, is one of the good guys now.

Now, here's the question on everybody's minds? Is this change permanent? I mean, despite Wild Kratts's strong continuity, they do hit the reset button a lot when it comes to some things. Well, in an article by Martin Kratt, he says in a non-spoilery way,

“There is a surprise at the end of the special. I can't tell you too much. But there's a really interesting twist that happens with one of the show's villains in Our Blue and Green World that will change that villain’s arc for the rest of the series.”

....which means that this isn't a fluke or an April Fools' joke (which a few people, myself included initially thought). This is an honest to god change for the show.

How do I feel about it? Well... on one level, I think it could've been done really better. Like, give Paisley more appearances of her as a villain. That way we get used to her being one of the status quo villains. I took count. She has only appeared in 6 episodes of the show, half of which were solo appearances, the other half were team-ups with the villains. That's... weirdly enough far too few appearances for us to treat her as one of our main villains. The writers do seem to understand that making a villain too villainous for too long has the risk of their character crossing the moral event horizon which would shoot themselves in the foot if they ever thought about redeeming such a character. However, on the other side of things, we at least need to recognize our villain as a villain for a redemption to not be jarring, so the underutilization of Paisley brings this down.

Additionally, there's the absence of Rex and the implication it has. He's for some reason not there during Paisley's redemption and has very little to do with the creation of "Blue and Green World" at the end. Does that imply that he is still a villain? That he's not gonna get redeemed? Beyond Dabio, he’s the only villain I would’ve actually expected to get a redemption arc. Paisley and Rex have some of the healthiest relationships out of all the villains, arguably all of the characters. I don’t like the idea that Paisley will just abandon Rex and their entire business in favor of the enemy and this resulting in him them having to fight or worse - him potentially being written off the show. In a future episode that continues to delve into Paisley’s heel-face, turn, they need to resolve the loose ends in regards to that dynamic.

Also, still bummed that my Donita x Paisley ship has gone down the drain along with any chance of them teaming up. Again, if they were going to redeem her, they could’ve at least done that as one final hurrah for the character before doing it. At best, we’ll probably see an episode of them facing off which will remedy the blow a little bit.

But, with all things said and done, the execution is still okay. The way they give Paisley a heel-face turn doesn’t seem all that forced and her first incentive is to do the exact opposite of what she set out to do. Build, to help animals, not harm them. And the set-up they do is pretty clever. She’s less outwardly shitty about it as Zach is, she grills him sometimes, and the purpose of the “rock” scene comes very much into play, tying the plot together in a neat little bow.

And again, the fact that they had the balls to do this and to follow through on it, earns a lot of my respect.

I get that it’s standard for villain redemptions to come with a wardrobe change but this is ridiculous. The colors do not match AT. ALL. I really hope they don’t make this her permanent look, or make Rex’s new wardrobe change anything like this (if he gets one).

Wait... so are they narrating or talking directly to the audience? It feels like I'm watching an episode of Go Diego Go lmao.

I was going to question how the fuck Blue and Green World was allowed to be authorized and made, especially with Paisley's track record, but then I remembered that the Kratts own a goddamn flying turtle and other inventory and shit. Getting the funds for this must have been the equivalent of purchasing glasses for the eclipse!

Tumblr will not let me upload anymore images so some notes:

Some Wild Kratts kids from the earlier seasons! Obviously we can't hear them speak because their VAs are grown up now but it's still nice seeing them again.

Ignoring how allowing a bunch of kids to fully interact with wildlife without major adult supervision can go hilariously wrong here, (gotta suspend my disbelief), this is such a great way of showing how construction can be done without going at the expense of wildlife or sacred places in general. It's a message that I think should be pushed way more!

An instrumental reprise of the musical number without any singing!! Glory be!!!

The closer involves whale tagging. Very exciting.

CONCLUSION:

CONS:

Paisley's redemption missing a few fundamental details (INCLUDING REX BEING THERE WHAT THE FUCK).

The lack of a climax. Like, the trailers hyped it up as this big special and the climax is not a big battle but just one villain saying "nope, no more" and another just fucking off. Maybe it's to subvert our expectations but you could've worked around this!

Paisley's wardrobe change.

Aviva once again having to be dumbed down for the sake of the plot... *sigh.*

PROS:

It still felt big. It felt like a bigger episode with bigger stakes [sorta] and bigger characterization than your regular episode. I'm of the opinion that S7 is the most experimental of the lot so far, because they spent 2 years working out their scripts and animations, and they knew that a section of the fanbase would be waiting so they decided to play by their strengths, but take more risks with it, do things outside of the show's comfort zone to lead it to new heights. It's "out there." This episode is a perfect example of that and for as many times as it misses, it also hits too. I like the animals, I like the suits, the animation, the themes, the morals, the writing, the characters, the settings, the education. On some level, it's everything I've been expecting for in S7.

They definitely raised the bar this season with this special. I'd argue that it's one of the best episodes of the season so far, one of the best two-parters and arguably the best episode of the series. Now that isn't a final verdict, there are several others I like far more, but I would call this the most respectable well-conceived story of the show, and it raised my expectations here. Initially I was worried this episode would potentially lead to the show's downfall but after analyzing it, I think I see good things for Wild Kratts from here on out.

Final Ranking: 8.9/10.

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[kaialone]

Kirby Planet Robobot Translation Comparison: Facing Mecha Knight

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the cutscene where Kirby encounters Susie for the second time, and ends up battling Mecha Knight.

You can also watch this cutscene for yourself in English and Japanese.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

--

Meeting Susie Again:

Secretary Susie:

おーお〜 いーだいな ハールトマン〜

Oh, great Haltmann~  (1)

Noble Haltmann, we adore him

Secretary Susie:

おーお〜 いーだいな ハールトマン〜

Oh, great Haltmann~

Noble Haltmann, we adore him!

Secretary Susie:

永遠にー 果てなくー 栄えよ〜

May you prosper, unending, for all eternity~

Every day we wish him glory!

Secretary Susie:

……おっと、 たいへん しつれい いたしました。

...Oh dear, how terribly rude of me.

Oh! Pardon me.

Secretary Susie:

われらが カンパニーの すばらしい社歌、

「銀河に名立たるハルトマン」。

That was our company's marvelous theme song,

"Haltmann, Famed Across the Galaxy".

That was our company's wonderful theme song, "The Noble Haltmann."

Secretary Susie:

ついつい 口ずさんで しまいましたわ。

I was just overcome with the urge to sing it to myself.

Sometimes I just find myself singing it out loud. It's so catchy!

Secretary Susie:

さて… また、お会いしましたね。

Now then... It appears we meet again.

At any rate, I must say, how nice to see you again.

Secretary Susie:

秘書スージーでございます。

It is I, Secretary Susie.

I'm Susie, but I'm sure you remember me.

Secretary Susie:

そうそう、 ワタクシ 最近…

Oh yes, just recently...

Let me tell you a story.

Secretary Susie:

とーっても ステキな 方に お会いしましたわ。

I met with the most wonderful person.

Not long ago, I met someone who impressed me very much.

Secretary Susie:

いさましくて クールで、 ハイレベルな剣士様…

Valiant and cool, a truly high-class swordfighter...

He was strong and full of confidence... A knight of the highest order.

Secretary Susie:

で、せっかく お会いできたの ですから、

And, since I was fortunate enough to meet him,

I was so impressed...

Secretary Susie:

ちょっぴり全身カイゾウして…

I have subjected him to just a tiny full-body reconstruction...

I gave him a complete remodel!

Secretary Susie:

わが社の セキュリティマシンと させて いただきました。

And given him the privilege of being a security machine for our company.

And I hired him as a company security guard.

Secretary Susie:

ウフフ…

Uhuhu...

Heehee! I wonder what you'll make of him?

Secretary Susie:

お気に めして いただける かしら？

I wonder if he will be to your liking?

Please allow me to present...

Secretary Susie:

プロダクトNo. M-７１１０、 「メタナイトボーグ」よ…

Now, Product #M-7110,  (2) "Meta Knight Borg"...

Model #M-7110. Mecha Knight...

Secretary Susie:

おゆきなさい！

Get to it, please!

ENGAGE!

Translation Notes:

I translated the lyrics that Susie is singing here directly, so they don’t go exactly with the melody in my translation, but they do in the original Japanese.

There’s actually a Japanese pun in Mecha Knight’s product number. The number “7″ can be read as “na”, the number “1″ can be read as “i”, and the number “10″ can be read as “to”. When put together, this spells out “naito”, which is a Japanese transliteration of the English word “knight”.

--

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This cutscene is another one without many differences.

If you were to really pick it apart it’s arguably a bit looser than the previous cutscene, like having Susie add a few extra comments, but nothing big.

We do get the first mention of the Haltmann Work Company’s theme song, and there is a lot to say about that.

-

Now, the company’s theme song is hard to talk about without directly addressing details that will come up later in the game, so keep that in mind.

First of all, in English, the song is simply titled “The Noble Haltmann”, whereas in Japanese it’s called 銀河に名立たるハルトマン/Ginga ni Nadataru Harutoman.

I choose to translate the Japanese title as “Haltmann, Famed Across the Galaxy”, but it could also be translated as “The Galaxy-Famous Haltmann” or the like.

So, there’s a bit of a difference between the titles here, with the English version feeling a bit more grounded and reserved in its worship of Haltmann, but that’s not all there is to it.

The Japanese title of this song is a subtle reference to the Japanese title of the “Milky Way Wishes” mode from Kirby Super Star, where it’s known as 銀河に願いを/Ginga ni Negai o, which roughly translates to ”A Wish Upon the Galaxy”.

The reference is definitely intentional, considering how Planet Robobot features several important callbacks to Milky Way Wishes.

The English version lacks such a reference, but it might have been difficult to come up with one, even if the localizers noticed this detail.

Next up, there’s the song’s actual lyrics, and that’s where things get a bit muddy in English.

Basically, in the Japanese version of this cutscene here, Susie is singing the first line of the song. In the next cutscene, she will sing the second line.

Then, the pause screen during Haltmann’s battle will show the full lyrics of the entire first strophe. And lastly, the final unlock of the game is the music video that features a previously unseen second strophe.

Because of that, in the Japanese version, the player ends up slowly being shown more and more of the song as they play through the game, culminating with the music video.

It’s clearly supposed to be an important build up, considering it’s also the main theme of the game that was specifically written to represent it and its story.

The English version is a lot less consistent with the song and its lyrics.

Here in this scene, Susie is singing “Noble Haltmann, we adore him! Every day we wish him glory!”.

This doesn’t match with Haltmann’s pause screen and the music video later on, where the first line is given as “Noble Haltmann, we adore him, kingly lord of time and space!“, instead.

To make matters more confusing, the former actually goes better with the melody of the song, it seems.

The English version of Haltmann’s pause screen description also only features part of the first strophe, rather than all of the first, and the lyrics that Susie will sing in the next cutscene are taken from the second strophe, which isn’t supposed to come up until the music video.

It’s kinda messy, honestly.

I can only assume this is a result of how game translations usually work.

Things like the text from in-game dialogue, the text from in-game menu screens, and the text from additional extras like the music video are normally internally stored in different places, and often you end up with different people having to translate them, with very little context.

Note that I wouldn’t blame the translator(s) and localizer(s) involved here, because they can’t really help their working conditions.

But whatever the case may be, as a result the English version lacks the neat progression of slowly getting to know the song, the way it’s presented in the Japanese version.

-

With all that general stuff out of the way, let’s have a closer look at the lines Susie sings in this specific cutscene.

In Japanese, she sings “Oh, great Haltmann~ May you prosper, unending, for all eternity~”, while in English she sings “Noble Haltmann, we adore him! Every day we wish him glory!”.

Just like with the song’s title, the English version of this line is a bit more reserved when it comes to practically worshipping Haltmann.

It’s not even like it’s not revering him, it’s just that the Japanese version goes even further with it.

But translating lyrics like this is also something that’s especially difficult, since you need to match the melody of the song, so more differences are to be expected with those.

-

Really a minor thing, but I want to point out this section:

And, since I was fortunate enough to meet him,

I was so impressed…

I have subjected him to just a tiny full-body reconstruction…

I gave him a complete remodel!

And given him the privilege of being a security machine for our company.

And I hired him as a company security guard.

In the Japanese version, the way Susie says that she gave Meta Knight a “tiny full-body reconstruction” is of course a bit of a joke, talking about something so drastic like it’s just a small little thing.

The English version doesn’t retain this directly, but it gives Susie’s dialogue a similar energy here, having her declare that she gave him a complete remodel like it’s something to be excited about.

A bit of a stronger difference is the fact that Susie says she made Meta Knight a “security machine” in Japanese, rather than a “security guard” like in English.

In the Japanese version, there is a stronger impression of Meta Knight being literally turned into an object or product as far as Susie is concerned, and that that’s a good thing in her eyes too.

In English it’s more like she makes him an employee against his will.

-

Finally, Mecha Knight’s product number “#M-7110” is a pun in Japanese, as I explained in the translation notes above.

I think it makes sense that the English version didn’t try to adapt it and just kept it the same, because in English you just have a lot less to work with as far as number puns go.

I can’t help but wonder what might’ve worked though, perhaps something like “#M-98”?

-

And that’s it for this cutscene.

Not a whole lot of differences here again, but more subtle differences are starting to crop up and will continue to add up over time, and we will get to that later.

I want to say that I do really like the localization in this one though, particularly the way Susie’s “swooning” over Meta Knight is written.

It stays close to the original without sounding awkward in English, and captures the basic mood the original version was getting at.

All in all, pretty good.

And with that, feel free to check out the next part!

--

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

--

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 17th-23rd)

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: "Gabriel Agreste" will be all about how he's not really evil just misunderstood. He had a lonely childhood or some garbage and we should feel totally sad for him you guys.

Just throw the man in jail and move on, PLEASE.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloé will be jealous of Zoe and throws a temper tantrum. Bonus points if the show blames Maribug for giving Chloé the Bee Miraculous in the first place.

[flashbacks to “Malediktator” where Adrien “the perfect high road boy” made the comment about Chloe that encouraged Marinette to give her the bee in the first place, something they will very likely never address]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Gabriel and Nathalie will have last-minute redemptions because "fAmiLy".

Aaaaand now I’m having Voltron flashbacks...

and Steven Universe flashbacks...

You know what, just most recent shows that have a villain related by family ties in some way.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe and other new characters are Romantic Rhombus shippers/stans. (love square synonyms anon here; glad to know you liked them.)

I HATE IT

SOMEONE HAVE A UNIQUE OPINION, I’M BEGGING.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka and Kagami get new love interests. Bonus points if this is used to make their exes jealous.

Double bonus if the one paired with Luka is either terrible person/isn’t like Marinette at all, or is just “objectively better” than Marinette.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow to know that there'll be an episode where Alya tries to help Marinette out with all the Ladybug things and Marinette is gonna get pissed because she's helping to much and possibly the kwamis like Alya more than her. Alya won't be akumatized, but Marinette's gonna learn a lesson about trusting her friends and not being so controlling because Marinette will have to trust Alya to give a miraculous to someone.

:|

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: that Alya knowing Marinette is Ladybug and thus Lila being a liar isn't going to come up except for one episode and then never be mentioned again.

If they don’t address it in the very next episode I s2g--

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: The season's finale will feature Shadow Moth empowered by Catalyst. He will have the most ridiculous name and outfit. Bonus: His grand plan fails mostly due to his owns stupidity

I’m only looking forward to the stupidity and nothing else.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will ultimately betray Marinette's confidence in order to prove that Marinette was wrong to trust her with her secret identity instead of Chat Noir.

The building blocks are already there, let’s be honest.

Bonus if Astruc acts as if Alya was “the best choice” and then cut to Alya’s betrayal (whether accidental or intentional) and he’ll act as if the writing is so clever.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Since Hawkmoth already knows Alya is Rena Rouge, Marinette will try giving her a different Miraculous to try throwing him off. This only serves to make Trixx jealous and cause friction between the kwami which is all blamed on Marinette.

Okay, the idea would be plausible if it weren’t for the fact that this would mean making new models.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The writers will steal another common fan concept by having Marinette entrust Nino with the Miracle Box. Su-Han will be upset at first, but accept Nino as a suitable candidate (possibly implying that he's better at it because, as a guy, he's not 'ruled by his emotions' like Marinette and proves better at keeping the kwami in line. Somehow).

It’s genius! His parents and other relatives don’t even exists outside of Chris, who only exists when it’s to torment Marinette when she has to babysit him!

There’s no one to find the box!! (except Alya, who Su-Han will be fine with knowing because he trusts Nino’s judgment)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue to push the pro-Adrien agenda down Marinette's throat, over any and all protests that she can't have a romantic relationship with ANYONE right now due to her various responsibilities. Alya will give lip-service to the idea that she'll help her with everything else, but in practice, her only real priority is shoving her towards Adrien every chance she gets and continuing her scheming to get them together.

The illusion of caring.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will wind up STEALING the Fox Miraculous from Marinette in order to become Rena Rouge again. This will be presented as entirely Marinette's fault, with Mari forced to apologize to HER for not 'trusting her more', despite Alya's actions throwing her trustworthiness into question.

“Bonus” if Marinette had trusted Alya with the code to open the Miracle Box’s compartment, yet sure, she needs to trust Alya “more,” okay.

differenttriumphdragon said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will still believe Lila at some point even though she now knows Marinette has a good reason not to trust her.

And this will not be portrayed as Alya’s fault but rather “Lila’s.” She’s just “too clever,” you guys!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue trusting Lila, accusing Marinette of lying about not being friends with her as Ladybug and insisting that she needs to 'give her a chance' as Marinette rather than letting jealousy get the better of her.

The thought alone makes my blood boil sjgnjdfjgnfdg

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The matter of how Alya refused to listen to any of Marinette's warnings about Lila will be glossed over with Alya making some lightly teasing remark about how 'You could have cleared this all up sooner if you'd just been honest with me, girl~'

Thus furthering the narrative that Marinette telling someone about her being Ladybug was “a choice.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will make a 'triumphant callback' to her remark in "Chameleon" about how journalists always check their sources. Referring, naturally, to how she now knows the truth from Ladybug herself... while completely ignoring how she dismissed all of Marinette's warnings before and refused to do any of her own research. Somebody will add this to ML's 'Crowning Moment of Awesome' page, praising it as an incredibly cool and well-earned moment of catharsis.

ugh

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Now that she knows Marinette = Ladybug, Alya will accuse her of two-timing Adrien with Chat Noir. She will refuse to believe any of Mari's insistence that she's NOT 'stringing Chat along'. Meanwhile we'll get more Sadrien as he mopes over LB continuing to deny their love.

“Bonus” if the fandom praises Alya for finally “calling Marinette out” because “Ladybug has never properly denied Chat Noir.” (but they’ll also deny that she should’ve done it more bluntly because “that would’ve hurt his feelings”)

[meanwhile, “Prime Queen” was a thing that happened and was publicly recorded]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Upon realizing Lila deceived her, Alya will get PISSED. ...Not over anything she did to Marinette, but because she tricked her into posting false information on the Ladyblog. Other than snapping at Mari for 'not warning me', or scolding her if she starts complaining and 'trying to make it all about you', she won't acknowledge what her bEsT fRiEnD went through at all.

I--

...oh my gosh, I hate how plausible this sounds.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Hawkmoth will inexplicitly delay going after the families of the exposed superheroes until the writers can frame it as Marinette's fault. This likely involves Mari being forced to babysit Chris and/or the twins, and having to take them on an outing since she can't have them at the bakery due to the kwami. Cue akumatized kids/hostage situation, Nino/Alya angst and Mari being lambasted for her failures.

Kids, Marinette babysitting, and Marinette being blamed??

Wow, it’s like all the things I hate rolled into one convenient little package!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will use the fact that she knows Marinette's biggest secret to justify being even more invasive, insisting that she already knows Mari better than she knows herself.

“wE cAn tAlk wHerE aNd wHeN yOu wAnT”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Despite how their secret identities were exposed, Marinette will be pressured by both Alya and the kwamis to give her friends 'their' Miraculi back and give new Miraculi to other classmates. Her fears about this will be presented as unreasonable... until they come to pass in later episodes, at which point she'll be blamed for 'letting this happen'.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will pressure Marinette to trust the rest of the girl squad with Miraculi, with Mari taking the blame for anything and everything that goes wrong in the process.

*long, deep sigh*

Alternatively, Alya will pressure Marinette into giving miraculouses to already-revealed heroes (Rena I could at least see being excused due to being a long-distance fighter who can create illusions from a distance, but Carapace? lol no).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The exposed superheroes will get magical makeovers to let them 'start fresh' and throw Hawkmoth off their trail. These new designs will be HEAVILY whitewashed, using the weak 'justification' that this will help hide their identities. Think Shanghai Special levels of appearance-shifting. Bonus points if Chat Noir tells the transformed Alya and Kagami they look prettier now.

I already hate it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya is against Lila because she knows Marinette is Ladybug (not because she [Alya] trusts her).

Yyyyyup.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Ladybug reveal to Alya is used for shipping purposes.

Well obviously!! Who else was going to comment on the oh-so-coveted LadyNoir???

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that Alya will still believe Lila's lies, despite her knowing that Marinette is Ladybug now

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya is still gonna be on Lila’s side despite now knowing Marinette is Ladybug.

Part of me wants to say, “No, they wouldn’t be that stupid,” but...

yeah...

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be an episode where Marinette has to learn to respect the privacy and boundaries of others. Likely candidates for the recipient of her pesky prying are Juleka (because 'Friends don't keep secrets!' only applies to Mari), Adrien (because haha stalker) or another guy-'friend' like Nino (because guys are entitled to their privacy in ways girls are not). Alya will lecture Mari on being 'too nosy' and insist that SHE would NEVER go so far and knows to give others space.

THE HYPOCRISY!!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya doesn't believe Marinette, assuming that she's lying to her about being Ladybug. The scene of the kwami surrounding them was an end-of-episode fake-out and didn't actually happen/she didn't see them. Marinette is berated for spilling her secrets so 'easily'.

fdjkgdfjkgdfg okay but would we roll with that or nah considering at least that’d mean that Alya doesn’t technically know then??

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Jagged Stone's relationship with Marinette will sour since she broke his son's heart. Never mind that he's been a deadbeat dad for years; clearly HER slight against Luka is far worse, and he has every right to condemn and judge her for it.

Jagged, I swear, I want to keep liking you, don’t do this.

Especially because then it’s gonna seem like they made Jagged the dad just so he’d have some reason to be against Marinette, taking away yet another person who was on Marinette’s side.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien's antics will escalate to the point where he is openly and brazenly sacrificing others for the sake of his 'hilarious antics', such as getting them hit by akuma powers to pun off their plight. Ladybug gets blamed for failing to protect them.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are “equals” until Chat needs to be blamed for something, in which case Ladybug will take the heat.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a moment of jealousy, Adrien will sacrifice somebody else in the name of his own ego. Such as outing another hero, bringing an already outed heroes' loved ones to Shadow Moth's attention, getting more kwami caught by the villains... Naturally, Marinette gets all the blame and all the guilt from the fallout.

Of course!! Who else could possibly be blamed???

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a cliffhanger, Chat Noir needlessly sacrifices himself only for Shadowmoth to recall the akuma before Ladybug can purify it/do something else that leaves Chat Noir in limbo. Much angst and drama is mined from Ladybug's failure to save him; the fact he effectively did this to himself is never acknowledged.

Okay, that IS sad for Ladybug but would we honestly complain about Chat being stuck in limbo?

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a 'Shocking Twist', Hawkmoth's connection to *Chat Noir* will be revealed, causing Ladybug to flash back through all their interactions and question whether Chat Noir was ever TRULY on their side. Her moment of doubt will be treated as completely unreasonable and unfair, with Adrien stung deeply by her 'betrayal' and failure to 'trust in their love'.

all of my hate--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette's anxiety will be depicted as the *cause* of said anxiety -- in other words, she'll be told that she's making mountains out of molehills and 'worrying over nothing'. Most likely by the very ones responsible for making her so anxious in the first place, treating problems *they caused* as a 'you problem'.

Don’t you guys know? Anxiety is always caused by the person having anxiety!

Trauma?? Root causes? What are those?

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be forced to pass Guardianship to somebody else, but will NOT have to wipe her memories in the process. This is treated as a 'learning experience' with Marinette having to live with the knowledge that she simply wasn't up to snuff, with somebody else having to 'pick up her slack' and take over the responsibilities that she 'just couldn't handle'.

I still say the worst part of all this is that I - someone who hates memory loss plots - am half-hoping for her memories to be wiped just to free her from this hellscape.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Somebody else will take over as Guardian, and Tikki will guilt-trip Marinette for not being able to handle the responsibility on her own. Sighing about how nice and lively it was with the other kwamis around, and how quiet it is now that they're staying elsewhere, wistful about the 'good times' they had while failing to acknowledge how much of their excitement and enjoyment came at Mari's expense.

And just casually forgetting that Marinette’s own privacy was invaded by the kwami being around, but sure, their comfort was so much more important.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: During a battle, Marinette/Ladybug will have to sacrifice herself/APPEAR to sacrifice herself in a way reminiscent of Chat Noir's usual self-sacrifices. This will be absolutely necessary to create the opening they needed to win, but will be treated as senseless and unneeded. Everyone will berate her for it, especially Chat - and if she points out his own tendencies, he'll accuse her of pulling that stunt just to 'teach him a lesson' and punish him for being heroic.

*screams from a distance*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Juleka doesn't get any dialogue outside of mumbling in her hero debut episode.

I’m half-expecting Juleka to be totally mumbly until a future Couffaine-centric episode where they’ll treat her talking as if it’s a huge deal.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The show would end on a vague note. We don't know if the Love Square got together (they had a finale kiss and a confession.) We don't know what will happen to the rest of the plotlines, characters, and miraculouses.

We also don’t know when we’ll get the time we lost back.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien switches sides after learning his father's motives, and is treated as 100% in the right for doing so. Marinette keeps fighting, and is blamed for everything Hawk/Shadowmoth does in his efforts to win.

“See, Marinette??? You didn’t aPpReCiAtE Chat enough!!!”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a 'Very Special Episode' of ML, somebody else gets to learn a lesson. It's Luka, who starts a new relationship with somebody else. It's shown that he learned from his mistakes with Marinette, and is more assertive and straightforward about his desires, and much happier for it. Meanwhile, Marinette's latest mistake is either being reluctant to let him move on... or letting him go because she foolishly 'wants him to be happy'.

(╯ಠ□ಠ)╯

The worst part is that they definitely won’t give a reason why Adrien > Luka outside of possibly “they have history” (fun fact that Hannah Montana back in the day - another show about a girl who led a double life - did this, except the guy she “had history with” - blond, famous, and rich - ended up cheating on her and she later pursued the other option properly - black-haired guitar boy who was way more flawed than Luka but was still endgame)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Mylene will be treated as a better Multimouse than Marinette. Not because of any of her personality traits, but because she has more mass to draw from. This is trumpeted as 'body positivity'. (Bonus points if her design is still inexplicitly slimmed down by her transformation.)

I feel nothing but disgust from reading this, please apologize.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Juleka and Luka being twins/her being held back is confirmed by her getting bullied/mocked for her anxiety issues keeping her from completing assignments (flunking verbal reports, presentations). Alternately/in addition, it's revealed by Bustier while asking Marinette to help Juleka/fretting that she'll fail for similar reasons. Somehow, Bustier is still presented as a 'good teacher' despite being the one who held her back in the first place.

This will also be a reverse-”Gang of Secrets” where Luka doesn’t appear or has no input on the matter whatsoever.

“Bonus” if this ends up being used as the reason why Juleka has been mumbling for this whole season: they didn’t want her to be considered “stupid” so they retconned her to be more mumbly than before, which caused her to get held back.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that guys are normally incompatible with the Bee Comb because Pollen treats men like worker drones while all women are queens. Adrien is either an exception to this or gets to be Sadrien after he's briefly given the Bee and has to deal with Pollen going Full Sass on him, with her severe critiques being presented as totally wrong no matter how dead-on her analysis of his character actually is. Jokes are made about her 'poor judgement'.

:|

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Flashbacks will reveal that Gabriel had a similar personality to Marinette when he was younger. Unlike her, HIS anxieties will be treated as more serious/endearing, rather than something to be mocked and belittled -- think his own version of Sadrien. The parallels drawn between them may also be used to cast Marinette in a worse light/imply that she could go down the same path as him.

I hate how plausible “male character has anxiety but is treated properly” is.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be the next Chloe; trusting her despite her clear personality flaws is ultimately shown to be another of Marinette's mistakes. Just like Chloe is an unrepentant bully, Alya is an 'aspiring journalist' first and foremost, and this will override whatever faith her BFF put in her.

THE PARALLELS CONTINUE.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After Alya's eventual but inevitable betrayal, Trixx will defend her by reminding Marinette that 'She's a Fox. Foxes lie.' He's not even particularly *surprised* by Alya breaking her promises, treating it as proof that she's one of *his*. And it's not on him for not warning Mari, but entirely her fault for failing to recognize what being a Fox truly means.

You can’t trust foxes, Marinette, and that’s what makes them great.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will constantly veto Marinette's ideas, ESPECIALLY ones that would have prevented problems that arise later on... which she then gets blamed for not averting. If she actually calls Su-Han out on this, he will insist that the fault falls upon her for not convincing him... if he even acknowledges that he was wrong/she actually suggested things that could have averted disaster.

“But--”

“No.”

“It makes so much se--”

“No.”

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY--”

“No.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: An episode will LITERALLY get on Marinette's case for breathing -- while hiding from an akuma with super-sensitive hearing, her needing air causes problems. Bonus points if she's breathing heavily after getting injured saving Chat Noir from being hurt due to his messing about; cue Drama and Sadrien without acknowledging his true culpability in the matter. (I.E. "It's all my fault! D:" "No, no, *cough* I should have dodged better..." "Fear not, my lady, I'll protect you!")

Miraculous: Tales of Marinette Not Even Being Allowed to Breathe

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We'll see more in-universe merch and marketing of the heroes, their images stolen and sold without permission. Ladybug is dismayed and disturbed, while Chat dismisses it; he's financially secure and doesn't care how his image is (mis)used, while Marinette's concern is treated as 'silly'. Why is she so bothered by dolls with unrealistic proportions and painted-on suits, or ones that gussy her up to make her more overtly girly and marketable?

Bonus if this is also an episode where Marinette is strapped for cash due to possible gifts for friends or all the things she used to make for Adrien (i.e: more proof that her Adrien crush just makes her life worse), and she will be treated as greedy/selfish for wanting something out of her hero work.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya declares the LadyBlog to be officially endorsed by Ladybug herself, and that all of her information is verified by the heroine. This is a blatant lie, as she continues not to do any fact-checking or run anything by Marinette, and acts as though MARI is wrong for trying to call her out on this.

Alya will also be treated as in the right for taking advantage of the opportunity because “she deserved to know” and “should be getting extra rights” as Marinette’s best friend.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Gabriel is shown monitoring the LadyBlog and using information he gleans from it more and more. If Marinette expresses any concern about this to Alya, she gets dismissed as 'paranoid' and 'jumping at shadows'.

And, similarly to “Feast,” Alya will never be called out because the narrative will conveniently never make the connection to Alya or force Alya to realize that this was a mistake.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be responsible for exposing Ladybug's secret identity to Chat Noir. Chat then gets *furious* at Marinette for telling her and not HIM, using this as an excuse to not reveal his *own* identity, sarcastically parroting back all her warnings about how 'It's just not safe' for them to know.

Totally ignoring the fact that Marinette was on verge of a breakdown in “Gang of Secrets.”

Sorry, Marinette, guess you should’ve let yourself plummet.

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 52: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Admit it, you’re all here because you like the pain that Cardcaptor Sakura is dishing out in the latest chapters, ne? 😂 Just kidding. We all knew that eventually this atmosphere would come. It’s not like they’ve spared us from the anxiety and pain since chapter 1!

And so, let me welcome you again to our monthly corner, I’ll start right away warning you that the last page of Chapter 52 needs attention because it has been translated in English in a way that makes you believe something, when it’s actually not the case.

...Who’s surprised? No, honestly, who is surprised at this point?

If you follow me even from just 2 months you know that every month they have messed something up, so....😅

Gif of the month (courtesy of Momo):

Lots of angsty feelings this month! And a certain butler officially applied to the Guinnes World Record for the biggest amount of insults received over a pudding! Eh? Want to know what I’m talking about? Under the cut!!

Kaito on the color spread

Let’s start from the color spread.

Ladies & Gentlemen, for the first time ever we have a color spread that is NOT featuring Sakura, but another (main?) character!

This was seriously a surprise, and @chibiyuuto​ made me realize that up till now, all the color spreads featured either Sakura alone or Sakura with other characters (even in the old manga). Well, apparently CLAMP said it was time to break that pattern! XD

And what a color spread.

We have Kaito, surrounded by dry branches and shattered glass, eyes closed, sleeping peacefully. The theme of transparency didn’t leave out even the villain/anti-hero/antagonist (?) of the series, and he looks really, really pretty here. Almost innocent. But he’s dressed in white. Among dead branches who are gripping him tight. The callbacks to death are everywhere. I even noticed that the white on his closed eyes, supposed to indicate his eyes behind the eyelids, almost look like emerging tears (you have to make a big close up to notice).

He’s preciously holding something, without touching it. There are many, many speculations as to what that could be. Maybe the editorial text can help us a little bit: it is probably the most important line Kaito ever said in the whole story until now.

“I’ve made a decision, that day. And it was the first decision I’ve ever made on my own”

Personally, I think the sphere is indicating everything that he’s trying to protect to the point of insanity. But here there’s nothing of that, only a peaceful, quiet atmosphere before death takes him completely.  It could indicate Akiho, yes (and maybe that’s why the indefinite shape, since he doesn’t recognize that yet), but also a newfound soul, feelings, warmth of the heart. Attachment to a human being. I think I’ve never spent so many words on a color spread and that speaks volumes about how much I loved it 😆 But it’s time to get on with the real story!

Sakura’s Pain

Sakura and Syaoran meet up the morning after what happened in chapter 51, in front of a bench outside the school (it’s not the usual spot in the schoolyard), and Kero + Suppi comment on how she's still in low spirits from what happened the day before. Sakura knows what the mysterious new Card is modeled after, but as Kero and Suppi inform us, the pendant watch seems nowhere to be found. We start with a little translation difference: ENG, Suppi: I haven’t seen this watch... ENG, Kero: Well yeah. She’s looked everywhere, and she can’t find it. JP, Suppi: And that watch.... JP, Kero: She told me that she’s looked everywhere, but she couldn’t find it. Syaoran arrives, and as the good observing boyfriend he is, he just needs one look at her "smiling" face to know that something is wrong. He tries to reach out to her, probably to hold her shoulder or cup her face, as a comforting gesture, but stops and closes his hand immediately, remembering that they can’t touch, unless he wants to end up fried alive.  I have to confess that I am re-reading this entire scene with a lump in my throat, not only for the difficult situation they’re still in, but also knowing something else that will happen later. There’ll be time to explain. Sakura, putting up a smile, asks what’s wrong. Yes, unfortunately our Sakura still hasn’t solved her biggest problem. How long have we been talking about it?  This habit of hers to sweep under the carpet all the negative emotions, all the restless feelings inside, all the pain.....all buried under a smiling mask. Thankfully Syaoran, who loves her more than anything in the world, has learned to decode her signals long time ago, so he tells her... ENG: I’m worried about you. You look like you’re in pain. JP: You looked like you were in a lot of pain.

Knock-knock.

Sakura looks surprised, and blushes slightly. The fact that Syaoran knocked at her door and basically told her, with one statement, “You look like you’re in pain, I’m here for you, let me be your support”, made her incredibly happy. Sakura opens her heart and welcomes Syaoran, the person she can trust the more in this world, regardless of the less-than-ideal behavior he’s had recently, with the Cards and all. Sakura chose to love him and trust him above anything else. So she lets him in, and tells him of the events of the day before. Sakura rushes to mention that maybe she’s imagining things. I wonder if that’s an instinctive, defensive reaction to this scary, unknown feeling. “If I say it’s my imagination, this feeling won’t exist anymore and everything will go back to normal”. Again, sweeping under the carpet. Syaoran, thankfully, is her anchor to the ground. JP: You produced a new card. That can’t be just “your imagination”, right? (I’ve put the JP version here because it makes it somehow more clear where Syaoran is going with this) And here we have a beautiful scene, with an exciting reappearance: Yelan, through Syaoran’s words, serves as a provider of a very IMPORTANT advice for Sakura. Yelan used to tell Syaoran that... JP: People with magical power shouldn’t ignore the turmoil and changes in their heart/chest, (which represent) the so-called “intuition”. And it’s not limited to people with magical powers. People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart. While the ENG translation basically says almost the same thing, I wanted to translate the JP version more literally because CLAMP in this scene are reviving the words of another character, pretty distant from Yelan, who said the same things in regard to the other protagonist of this chapter. 目を逸らす. Averting one’s eyes to the matters of the heart. Where did we hear this already?

Here’s the first link in the chain that connects Sakura and Kaito in this chapter. Sakura, very eloquently, touches her chest and says “Heart”.... It seems incredible, but our heroine is having a very hard time listening and understanding her heart. She’s kind, she’s compassionate, she’s loved and protected by everyone. Yet, when it comes to the matters of her heart, she’s still as blind as when she had to understand what she felt for Syaoran. She’s still so young, true. Yet, the children around her seem to deal better with that side of them, so she really stands out, story-wise. And she seems to be turning away from her heart especially when there are unpleasant, harsh things happening. The school bell rings, it’s time to go to class, and Syaoran apologizes for not being able to give her answers. He doesn’t know yet, but he might just have given her the most important answer of them all.

Sakura shakes her head, and shows all her gratitude to Syaoran, telling him that she’s just really, really happy that he’s by her side. They mimic touching their hands, just like they did by the swings at the Penguin park, and it’s such a bittersweet moment. They can’t touch, but their hearts are more connected than ever.

Once in the classroom, while Sakura is chatting with Tomoyo, Kero and Suppi have a whispering conversation on how Sakura completely forgot of their presence after Syaoran appeared, and how that goes to show how serious their conversation was (and also how competent they’ve become at *erasing their presence*, hahaha). Sakura, just like she did with Syaoran moments ago, has a brief surge of affectionate feelings for Tomoyo, certainly stemming from what she saw in the world of Momo’s book, but that she can’t remember right now. She has seen (and doesn’t consciously remember) what it feels like to live in a world where your most important people don’t remember about you. Her heart, however, does remember and makes her feel this tingling feeling, just realizing how lucky she is to have them by her side. She voices this thought to Tomoyo, but then she remembers that Akiho isn’t coming at school today. She wonders if she’s alright, and says she will send her a message later, hoping a reply will come from her.

And here we switch, ladies and gentlemen, to the other side of the coin, the other side of this chapter, which is basically a huge parallel in itself.

Kaito’s pain

I might get a little emotional in this part, so forgive me by now for my ramblings, hahah.

Akiho is awake and sitting in her bed, doing... guess what? Reading a book, of course! She receives that message from Sakura, and her face immediately brightens. At that moment, Kaito knocks on the door and brings her a (very fancy) jug of water, asking her if she's already awake. Akiho mentions feeling good, not hurting anywhere, and having a normal temperature (NOTE: the ENG translation makes Kaito say this line, while it is AKIHO the one who’s saying it). Kaito tells her that he already took care of contacting the school, so she should just take the entire day off to rest. Akiho, though, of course has questions. She wonders why she collapsed so suddenly, she can’t understand it herself. (NOTE: The ENG translation made her say “Thank you” when actually she never says it, in that bubble she only says “but”) Momo listens, and subtly opens her eyes with a quite menacing face. She’s looking at Kaito, who is placing the tray on the bedside table, just in front of her. Kaito puts up his trademark fake smile and in just one go he manages to dismiss both Momo’s death stare (you can see some small lightning bolts beside her, aimed at him) and Akiho’s doubts about her health. He asks her if something good happened, and Akiho without thinking twice replies that she received a message from Sakura, with a cute sticker too. THEN she realizes that as usual she wears her heart on her sleeve, and while she hides her face in shame she asks aloud if she’s really that obvious, easy to understand. Kaito replies with a cryptic どうでしょう, dou deshou, which I want to say could be translatable as “who knows?” or “what do you think?” in a playful manner, like saying “You certainly are”. Or maybe he doesn’t really know and he’s just so incredibly good at reading her every mood and thought.....save for one.

In replying so, Kaito gets closer to her bed, so Akiho immediately notices the aura he gives off. Something is not right. Once again. Kaito sees her staring, and just like that night in their garden, he asks what is it.

Knock-knock.

JP (all of this conversation): “Kaito-san...are you feeling unwell?”

....

“No, there isn’t any particular problem with my health” (Note that here Kaito uses a word that leaves me a bit perplexed, 不具合. The  具合 part certainly can indicate physical condition, but when it’s 不具合, I find it attributed way more to malfunctionings and bugs, than stuff related to health. Hm.)

Akiho frowns. She knows he’s lying. Again.

One more time.

Knock-knock.

“But...you look like you’re in pain”. You have seen it, right? The parallel with Syaoran. Syaoran and Akiho, this time around, are the characters paralleling between the two couples.  Until now, Syaoran was always shown as the parallel of Kaito, but this time around CLAMP decided to shuffle things.

We know that Akiho sees through Kaito’s mask, we have known for a long time. And the pain she’s seeing is certainly not only a physical one.  Just like Syaoran, Akiho sees the person she loves in pain, and feels the compelling desire to be there for him.

....

“It must be your imagination”

While Kaito says this with a smile that only apparently looks kind, Akiho’s frown deepens. Not only he keeps lying, not only he’s dismissing her concern, he’s also trying to convince her that it’s all in her imagination. But she’s having none of that.

Kaito starts to run away. “If you feel like eating (something), how about I bring you some breakfast?” and he’s already at the door.

“Kaito-san.” I have to say, I loved this assertive Akiho. This is my girl. Kaito keeps trying to feed her bullshit, and she’s having none of that. If she wasn’t such a sweet and well-educated girl, she would’ve been probably yelling “Oh come on, cut that bullshit and listen!” by now, just like I did while I was reading this scene. 💢 Kaito does turn around, but his fake kindness left completely his expression and his face is between serious...and...sad? Afraid? I can’t really read that expression.

Knock-knock-knock.

“There are...many things I can’t do, yet. I think I’m still not really that reliable. But ever since I met you, Kaito-san, I could change something/s (about myself). So....”

“Kaito-san, let me in”

........

Kaito wears again his fake smile, but you can see by the way Mokona shaded his eyelids and forehead, that he’s feeling utterly distressed at the moment. Interrupting her abruptly, without even showing any sign that he listened to any of the things she was saying (or about to say), he just goes: “The pudding must be firm by now. I’ll bring you that too”. And just like that, he shuts the door. The real one, and the figurative one too, the one he’s kept shut the whole time Akiho was knocking. Akiho is left all alone with her delicate hand reaching out for him, closing on itself, without being able to take a hold of him. This is frankly a very strong image that shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

Akiho gently demanded access to his heart. She’s been keeping her feelings all to herself until now, but after her half-confession under the moonlight she has gained an incredible courage and determination. Don’t get me wrong, all she wants is to be able to support him, to be there for him, because she can see that there’s something terribly wrong with him and she knows he’s carrying all this burden alone.  But he won’t let her in. He can’t. First of all, he cannot certainly explain to her that he’s killing himself, trying to obtain a dangerous taboo magic that would allow her to be freed from that cursed book that is trying to make implode her soul. Let alone, the fact that he wants to drag her best friend into this.

Second, he’s terribly afraid. Afraid to let anyone near his heart. As soon as he heard her knocking, he quickly shut and double locked everything. What he once felt like “I don’t know what’s good about connecting to people” has now turned into “I am impossibly afraid to connect with people” because he’s been deprived of human connection and warmth for too long. And he doesn’t want to hear anything about “changes of the heart”, I’d dare say when Akiho mentioned that he was triggered definitively, that’s why he interrupted her.

Momo, powerless spectator of this regrettable scene, is livid. I think we can all agree that she’s representing us, right?? 😆 I am pretty sure that as soon as Akiho falls asleep, she’s gonna speed-fly to the kitchen to kill Kaito with her bare hands. I have never seen her this mad!!! 😅

Almost as a confirmation of what we said above, while Kaito is on his way to prepare breakfast, he stops to realize that he’s shaking. And he even slightly laughs. This guy is either losing his sanity altogether, or this is just a very cynical reaction to something unknown to him. “Why am I shaking?”

Yeah, Kaito, why?

Is it because your charade crumbled as soon as you left her room, and you’re showing us how you really feel, a terrible health condition that is quickly bringing you in death’s embrace? And yet, would you be surprised to find yourself shaking, if you knew that was the sole reason why it’s happening? Nah. There’s something else, beside death.

As if to “calm himself down”, he summons something related to his plan. And this is the second reason why the whole fandom basically wants to kill Kaito by now: we find out that Mirror, the Sakura Card that went missing, has been taken by none other than our emotionally incompetent butler.

And now comes the time to clarify what’s written in the last page of this chapter, please read well because it’s very easy to get the wrong idea, with the ENG translation:

ENG: The card is in my hands at last. Now I just need to take the liberty of using it...to complete the spell.

JP: The card I’ve obtained with so much effort...let’s use it effectively...in order to complete the spell once for all.

Now, I have more than one observation to make on the JP-> ENG translation. First of all, the word せっかく (with much effort, special) was translated as “at last” and this created a huge confusion because it’s like suggesting it’s the Card Kaito wanted Sakura to create all along. Of course, we all know that doesn’t make sense, because Mirror has always been there. This is just a last resort card that he obtained (and it was quite a pain in the ass, judging from his words) and that will contribute to bring to completion the spell he’s trying to activate, BUT IT’S NOT THE CARD HE WAS LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG. So nothing changed and we still don’t know if Time is the Card he wanted, he hasn’t mentioned it at all.

The second observation regards the way he called Mirror, with the usual trick Ohkawa uses to make things more interesting (and complicate the lives of the translators): the word is  切り札 and the furigana beside it reads “Ka-do, Card”. That word means “trump card” but also “ace up one’s sleeve”, so we can find actually 3 meanings attached to that term! Interesting, isn’t it? I have more questions about this term, but since I have nothing concrete to prove and I don’t want to fuel the Kaito hate even further, I’ll stop here for now. 😆

The last observation I have to make is on the use of the noun 完遂, “completion”. Its extended meaning is “successful execution”, and I wonder if the use of this term instead of the usual 完成 might mean that he’s preparing, finally, for the last battle. Because the subtle, very subtle difference between  完遂 and  完成 is that the former is much more definitive. It’s when you bring something to completion till the very end, and there’s nothing more after that (at least from what I could read around, it’s very subtle, as I was saying). I’ve actually seen a Japanese mutual on Twitter pointing this out, so I thought it was worth mentioning. We’ll see?

------------------------------------ What to say about this chapter, overall...it’s true that there wasn’t much action and probably not even a big progress (but we had a revelation at the end of the chapter!), but on the character development and introspection side, this chapter was a bomb! I loved the parallels between the two couples, loved the fact that CLAMP managed to surprise us once again, making the parallels between Syaoran/Akiho and Sakura/Kaito, instead of the usual combination. Loved and cried for the living demonstration of what happens when someone shuts his heart, as opposed to someone who keeps it open, even if she doesn’t always listen to it herself. I’m glad that, despite all, Syaoran and Sakura still can count on that bond between them, something that made me instead very upset and aching for the other side of the chapter, where trust was completely missing from the picture. Kaito doesn’t trust Akiho, probably she’s the person he trusts the least, because deep down, in the depth of his heart, he knows she could have an immense power over him. And it’s scary, isn’t it?  I have to say it: in this chapter, with her determination, Akiho felt like a little woman to me. And Kaito, with his running game, like a hopeless kid. It’s ironic as it sounds, but it’s true.

This analysis and translation post has become way too long (as usual) and I thank everyone who survived reading it until now, hahahah! The next appointment with chapter 53 is: - On May 1st, on Nakayoshi magazine - On April 29th, on CLAMP-FANS website (Youtube) - On April 28th, on Comixology (to be confirmed)

See you next month, and my DMs are open for any questions/comments on this chapter!!

[leverage-commentary]

Leverage Season 2, Episode 10, The Runway Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

[Silence]

John: Marc?

Marc: Hi, I'm Marc Roskin, Producer and Director of this episode.

John: I'm John Rogers, Executive Producer, and the one with the Guinness, so you have no excuse for missing that cue.

Albert: And I'm Albert Kim, I'm the writer of the Runway Job.

John: Here we go. And this is a great opening sequence, what- is this a set Marc Roskin? How did you create this incredible look?

Marc: This is the largest girls school uniform factory on the west coast, and they-

John: So this is some sort of internet connection where you order school uniforms or-?

Marc: It was very hot. No, this was-

Albert: Strangely Marc knows a lot about girls’ school uniforms. I don’t know why, but-

Marc: Yes, this was an actual working factory. A lot of the background workers are some of the factory employees who knew how to operate the machines. It was right across the river, really close, and they opened their doors to us just like everybody did in Portland.

John: I love the fact that we wanted to do a fake sweatshop, so when we shot in there, when they saw the hours they shot the workers in the fake sweatshop, we're like, ‘These hours are horrible. How can you people work under these conditions?’ And Albert, since we’ve just seen someone collapse with these- this great shop, which, actually, I believe was the pitch. How did you come up with the idea for the episode?

Albert: Well as you know, I'm quite the fashion icon in the office, so it was quite natural for me.

[Laughter]

John: Yes.

Albert: No, I knew that I wanted to set an episode in the fashion world because it seemed like a fun environment to get into, and lots of great visuals and scenes with models and fashion designers and runway shows. So I knew the area was there, and then so the trick was coming up with a sympathetic victim, and then, as always, a credible villain and threat. So I did a little research and finding the victim wasn't too tough, because the real- in the real world, the fashion industry has sort of been dogged by allegations of sweatshop abuse for a while, so having the sweatshop victim came fairly easy. Finding the threat required a little more research, but as I dug into it, I found that it was actually a real world connection between sweatshops and global clothing counterfeiting, which is controlled by the Chinese Triads.

John: It's interesting because a lot of people talk about intellectual rights and stuff in new international treaties and people immediately think of movies, television, digital rights. A lot of it also involved intellectual rights on clothing.

Albert: Yes. Clothing counterfeiting actually counts for more of the income of these Triads than illegal narcotics trade. So it’s a huge billion dollar business for them and right then, sort of, the pieces fell into place for the elements of the episode.

John: And now these actresses are, Marc?

Marc: That is- um-

Albert: Jen.

Marc: Cathy Vu.

Albert: Cathy Vu and Jen Hong.

Marc: On our left and Jen Hong, and they were great though local Portland actresses. And they knew how to speak some Mandariarin and it worked out great. This was actually, in the shooting order, Jeri Ryan's first episode working with us.

John: Yeah, it's really interesting because, you know, the crew- the cast was genuinely kind of freaked out by Gina not being on set, and so a lot of the weird vibe you get on this episode is from ‘there's a new person’ and of course Jeri became great friends with everyone and really fit in, but it was a really interesting vibe the first couple days on set. It really felt like, yes, Jeri’s a new person here; we don't quite know how to handle it.

Marc: But we had to play it like she was already part of the team because we shot these out of order.

John: It does help that really you don't make her part of the team until the end of the previous episode. 

Marc: Right.

John: This is almost a cold relaunch.

Albert: And we played that in the episode, too, so you sort of everyone's tentativeness around her worked well for the dynamics within- the character dynamics within the story as well.

John: And this is, again, this wass also a scene we added just to- It was interesting, we really wanted to make sure that everyone understood that Sophie- Because originally there was going to be a giant gap between episodes, we wanted to make sure everyone understood Sophie signs off on this. You know, audiences were very attached to Gina Bellman - rightfully so - and we did not want them to think we were shuffling her off and bringing in a new actor. We listen to you. Not a lot, not really.

[Laughter]

John: But we do listen to the bigger screams. Also love the callback there that Hardison screwed up in the Ice Man and that's what motivated this entire- this entire replacement.

Marc: We always like to bring up Hardison's screw ups; blowing up offices and whatnot.

John: Blowing up offices. But it's interesting that this is one of those trios where you just kind of park the camera and, you know, they have the dialogue, just let them run; let them do 4 or 5 versions, get the hell out of their way.

Albert: And this scene is really our version of: the kids are wondering where mommy went. You know, so it's like they are a little uncomfortable, it's a new family dynamic, so they're on the phone with her.

John: Yeah.

Marc: Right. But of course, they don't want dad to know that they are speaking to mom.

Albert: Yeah.

John: Yeah, and that's a- that actually started in Ice Man, where they are calling and not telling Nate. And we continued it all the way through where they just don't feel comfortable letting Nate know. And that was a nice little moment with Beth, you know, just ‘I miss you’. It's not often we crack the shell on Parker, that's part of the advancement of the character, to show that she's comfortable in the family, even if she’s not comfortable with other humans. And these two actors the- not those actors, that's stock photography- but the two actors playing the bad guys are?

Marc: Grace and what's her last name?

Albert: Grace Hsu and Tom Choi.

Marc: Grace was a Portland local, she was fabulous; and Tom came from Los Angeles. They did a really great job. 

John: The con here is kind of convoluted. It's interesting, just watching this, is the idea that we really had to come into the fashion show from- the fashion industry is one of those industries where if you're inside it, you know everything. We had to constantly figure out, what does the audience need to know in order to understand what we're doing without overexplaining it?

Albert: Right. Again, this is a case where research helped. I mean, to actually looking into what happens during fashions shows. It's based on a real life event, Fashion Week, which normally takes place in New York though there are regional ones all around the country where there are big showcases for new designers as well as opportunities for the stylish designers to bring out their new lines and things like that. So we knew we had an event that was tied to a specific time which helped; it gave us a very limited time frame. And then, again, researching into how the Triads operate and what their connection is to the clothing industry. All of that just helped flesh out the con.

John: I love the Parker giving her instructions on how to be photographed, you know Sophie gave her instructions three weeks ago for some other con. And this was kind of fun, creating the idea for how do you create- in modern media, how do you create the illusion of an actual human existing for some period of time, object permanence to a great degree?

Albert: Right.

John: So you figured out how to- you know, my wife watches a lot of fashion TV and it was kind of backing up: how do I actually know who the hell any of these people are? And it was because of the fashion shows and magazines. Cover both of those and you're done. And DVRs have certainly been a boon. And also this, printing off one magazine it's actually easier than we made it look. 

Albert: Yeah.

Marc: Oh yeah.

John: There's actually a service that prints off short runs of magazines that you can use if you're say doing a trade show or running a con.

Albert: This was all done on location. Beautiful house. This beautiful house in- was it in Clackamas?

Marc: Yeah, just outside of Clackamas.

Albert: It was great. It was a huge mansion that worked perfectly, and we ended up recreating the mansion later when we blow it up.

John: Also that what they're doing there, where they are looping, that's exactly what it looks like at Electric Entertainment - it’s basically just a laptop and a mic in the kitchen and that's how we finish up these episodes. No, but it was fun to be able to say, ‘Oh well, put the words on her mouth when we’re on her back, just like we do with actors.’ 

Marc: Right.

John: Presently, Tim Hutton delivers no more than 50% of the dialogue you hear per episode. We put the rest in his mouth later with a cunning Tim Hutton imitator. Yeah, this is to close off the sale that she's locked in.

Marc: Yeah, just to continue the sale.

John: Now Marc, you directed a bunch of episodes by this point, coming into this, right?

Marc: Yes.

John: And what was it like having a new human on the staff?

Marc: It was interesting. We- it brought a new life to it, and was interesting to see how everybody worked together. And she was just trying to get a feel for everybody and, you know, she was really easy going and said, ‘Listen, if you want a different performance, please, I'm here to help you guys.’

John: ‘Who likes to do this style? Who likes to do that style? Is that head writer really drinking that much in the middle of the day?’ Basic questions.

Marc: What is that smell coming from his trailer?

John: It's shame. It's the smell of shame. This scene was actually not in the original shoot, right? We wound up- this is one of the scenes that was: how much do we explain to the audience? Do they explain what Fashion Week is or isn't? And when we kinda looked at the first cut, it was like, you know what? I know because I watch it on Saturday morning on fashion TV, but we gotta make sure we establish the rules.

Albert: Right. Just a little more explanation as to how the fashion world works and where the con is going; just another step in the process.

John: And an excuse to get Aldis in orange.

Marc: Exactly and have Aldis in orange and Eliot in mascara.

John: That's eye makeup, that's not mascara.

Marc: Sorry.

John: Don’t. Please. Please, I don't want that phone call again, don't make that mistake.

[Laughter]

Albert: What's great about that factory, even this part of this set was also in that factory. 

Marc: This was just another portion of it.

John: Wait, so all the dresses and stuff, did we bring those in or those were-?

Marc: Yeah, we just put up the bolts of fabric and some employees.

Albert: We spent a lot of time in that sweatshop.

John: Yeah. As one does.

Marc: As one does. 

John: I love, by the way, in this episode, just watching what Kane is doing behind her during this scene. I'm- he's making a lot of interesting choices for Eliot there. Especially with the card snap coming up. And this was a lot of fun, too; this was a lot of the fun of the show is learning all the rules and idiosyncrasies of each industry.

Albert: Sure, that's part of the formula is figuring out what's the interesting world you can look into and then diving into and explaining to the audience how these worlds work.

Marc: Well it's funny, cause she needs to explain it to her teammates on the show.

John: And the card! I love the card delivery.

Marc: And the card the bam, yeah, you get to explain it to the teammates and explain it to the audience as well.

John: We’re really replicating what we’re doing in the room. Which is, one person knows the field pretty well and they explain- I remember when we did Iceman and we were talking about getting the serial numbers off the diamonds and Chris Downey was like, ‘I'm not following’ and I went, ‘It's like getting VIN numbers off a car’. ‘Oh, ok perfect!’ And that wound up in the script. Also this was fun having somebody who didn't know how the earbuds worked; it kinda reset the rules for the audience. And some beautiful- how did we get all this beautiful Boston stock footage?

Marc: Some we bought, some we shot. 

John: You actually went out and shot a lot.

Marc: I did. Myself and Dave Connell spent a couple days running around the great city of Boston.

John: Now this is your directing debut, isn’t it Albert?

Albert: It wasn’t my debut, but it was probably the longest sequence I've done.

John: And it's just naked backs.

Albert: It was just tedious, grueling labor to just have to order these models around to take off their clothes and take off their shoes. No, it was great, it was. We already had the set, we finished the big scenes in the set, so Marc let me take a few people out and just get as much fun behind the scenes stuff you can, so that’s kind of where we ended up.

Marc: You and Norbert, right?

Albert: Yeah, Norbert. That was one of his first days there.

John: I love the hair. Whose idea was the Swiss Miss hair?

Albert: Well the other thing about this episode was hair, makeup, wardrobe, obviously had a field day with it. They were really excited about being able to put their best foot forward on a lot of this stuff, so they were able to-

Marc: Yeah, they really had a good time.

John: I also love the fact that Hardison is basically using CIA technique of human intel signals  and analysis on the PA’s on a fashion show to figure out who’s in charge without actually figuring it out. It's a lot of fun, and our friend Apollo Robbins helped us out with the envelope slip, and it helps that Beth is very good-

Marc: This girl is great; she was a lot of fun, this girl, Caitlyn, Caitlyn Larimore. We- she read for us a few times on other things; we just knew there was gonna be something for her eventually.

John: So really, if you're looking to act, you should get out of whatever little LA or New York, whatever little hick town you're in and move to Portland because that's where you're gonna get some work.

Marc: Move to Portland; that's where it's gonna happen.

John: This actually hacking into the printer is something we've done before. A favorite trick of Apollo is to print stuff out in your office when you don't realize something is about to happen. And then the slide- 

Marc: That wonderful calligraphy on those envelopes was my mother in-law’s.

John: Really? That's great.

Marc: Yes, Louise.

John: We didn’t pay her did we?

Marc: Oh god no.

John: Alright, just making sure. We are a cable show.

Albert: But she ends up featured as a featured extra in the episode, too. She's in the fashion show; you'll see her later staring down Parker.

John: Mother-in-law? You got your mother-in-law on tv?

Marc: That's right.

John: Wow, you're the best son-in-law ever. This actress- actually nice shot. We wound up repeating that character later. I remember we were kinda restructuring; we were like, ‘Oh, we can just use her again, that’s fine.’

Albert: I remember watching her read, and she was great at it, so we decided to, rather than use a separate character for a scene later on, just, you know, bring her back. And she wound up doing that scene later when they approach the security people.

John: Just some love for the extra, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ A little something from Eliot just for you.

Marc: Just a little.

Albert: Well he had to know that if you're gonna do a fashion episode, one with lots of models, that Eliot was gonna be right in the thick of things there.

John: Yeah. And the overheard- How did you stage this? The overheard conversation is a staple of the show and the bane of all directors everywhere.

Marc: Yeah, we didn't have a lot of time on this day, but we figured out a way; just keep her in the background, eventually a couple close ups of her ears perk, and soon they'll drag her in deeper. 

John: Now each one of them is doing a specific person. I can't remember, he's doing-

Marc: Lagerfeld.

John: He's doing Lagerfeld. She’s doing Donatella Versace. I can't remember the British guy that Hardison is locked in on, cause I remember Aldis actually had pictures of him. I’m trying to remember...

Albert: André Leon Talley from Vogue, who is the legendary creative director of Vogue. And he's sort of channeling him. But yeah, again, during the course of research-

Marc: I got my ladder shot in there, by the way. I'm just two for two on-

John: On having ladders in your-

Marc: Yeah.

John: That's good; that's excellent.

Albert: This whole set was built; this was the whole fashion show.

John: We actually built this in the museum that we shot the finale for 207 in, right?

Marc: No, this was just an empty warehouse. 

John: Did we have permission?

Marc: Yes we did.

John: Good. Cause sometimes we don't; sometimes we just build stuff and then get the hell out before the cops show.

Marc: Yes, we used a lot of fabric to hide things.

Albert: But the beauty of it is, if you go to real fashion shows, it's kind of what it is. The highlight of fashions shows are supposed to be the clothes, so they keep the surroundings very minimal, and that's- that's always the idea of a fashion show. So luckily for us, it's fairly easy to recreate realistically as a set.

Marc: A lot of times it's just a wedding tent and a runway and chairs.

Albert: Well anyone who's watched Project Runway can see what it's like. It’s just a runway and some folding chairs.

John: I thought we built- that's interesting. Where did we go back to the museum for? I can't remember; it's gonna drive me crazy. Whose idea was the buckles?

Albert: Buckles was something I came up with in the script when I was trying to figure out how to explain what a poor designer Gloria is.

John: What's the one thing nobody likes a lot of?

Marc: Buckles.

Albert: So it became a little joke that someone that- someone, I think it was Chris actually pitched the joke about ‘pilgrim chic’ which we put in there, and found out later that that's actually kind of a real thing. If you make up any kind of joke in the fashion world you'll find out eventually that it's a real thing somewhere.

John: Yes.

Marc: This was actually the workers rec room, which was pretty much an open area room and- 

John: You're kind of ruining the whole sweatshop vibe with, like, ‘They had a rec room.’

Marc: Yeah, they had a rec room and basically we've pretty much four walled it. 

John: Yup.

Marc: And, you know, put in-

John: Which means?

Marc: To put up a wall to close it off. 

John: So this is a bigger space behind him.

Marc: Yeah, it's actually pretty much the same size, but it's just a platform where they had their lunch table set up. But we liked the ability to have shots like that where we can look down onto the floor, it was always-

John: And then shoot back up.

Marc: It was always something that I know that you guys mention, that we wanna have more connection with our victims. So we placed that shot-

John: It is tricky, particularly when we’re doing complicated ones, you can lose track of that vic that's in the opening, and we really tried this year to tie it back a little bit more.

Albert: Yeah, it was interesting. I had a conversation with another writer just the other day about - who works on a crime procedural - and they have the same issue about how to connect with their victims. It's much harder for them because usually their victims are dead. So they show up in the beginning dead, and they can wrap things up with the relative of the victim at the end. If you notice, what a lot of crime shows do is they have flashbacks, so then you get to learn the personality of the victims through the flashbacks.

John: Oh, interesting.

Albert: So we don't do that, but our victims are alive so there are opportunities, like in this scene, to reconnect with the people who we’re working for and establish what our emotional stakes are.

John: And this is also one of the places where we sort of set up- and if you watch what we did with Jeri’s character, and sort of the difference between Sophie and Tara Cole. Tara Cole is a short grifter. Sophie is never gonna push it, she's never gonna try to get the big payout. And Tara’s job is to get in and get out with as much money as possible, so this is one of the times where we really sort of set up how she needs to adjust. Though when you look at the back half, we don't really change it that much. The team doesn't really change, it's- she kind of adjusts herself to fit in the team a bit more. They wind up using her short term push just as a different sort of batter.

Albert: Whereas personality-wise, there's something you told me I remember which helped make everything click which was - Tara is really kind of a guy’s girl. You know, she's the kind of girl who sits around and watches football with the guys on Sundays. Sophie is very much a girl's girl; she's out there doing the shopping and fashion and all that stuff. So that kind of distinguishes the two characters. Although they fulfill the same role within the team, they're very distinctive in terms of their personality. 

John: But that's also from when we originally created the show. A lot of these characters have slightly different personalities, and the actors brought other personalities, and we realized as long as that job was fulfilled in the team, you can range pretty widely within there. How did you shoot- where the hell is she?

Albert: She's supposed to be-

Marc: Tashkent, right?

Albert: Tashkent. So- 

John: Uzbekistan?

Albert: Yes.

John: Oh right there you go. Of course. ‘Cause Tashkent is in Uzbekistan. Who doesn't know that?

Albert: Right.

Marc: And yes, so we shot Gina on a much later date, during a later episode, and just one green screen and some stock footage behind a little wind machine and there you are.

Albert: And camels.

Marc: And some camels, yes.

John: As one has in Tashkent. 

Marc: In Portland.

John: Oh no, we went to the Portland zoo see, I was hoping you'd give them the whole speech about sand, and yeah. That's a little bit of jealousy, a little bit of- and that was another thing, too, to make sure that Sophie wasn't just a character that you checked in with once a week. She had to have her own little arc that whenever you went to her she had a distinct attitude about the team. Yes and the reindeer gag, which I really foolishly insisted on keeping in the script because it was my favorite bit.

Albert: It was brilliant; it was great; it was all John.

John: That's mine. Whenever you see a joke that doesn't quite work and seems kind of doomed but we keep, that's usually me diggin in at the table, particularly if it's absurdist. Now did we put banners up or is that digital?

Marc: Digital. Those were digital banners on the building. Do our little whip pans to Eliot and whip back. 

John: Just to establish, yes, he's with a model. Where do you think he was gonna be? And he’s out.

Marc: And he's angry he has to leave the model.

John: The- and again, it was interesting to, sort of, know that we had to plot out these arcs on the back six, and figuring out exactly, like, how do we show trust and acceptance? And, you know, you can do it in dialogue, but you don't want people talking about their intentions. And the ear bud became kind of an interesting metaphor; it goes in and out of use over the back six and even with Eliot we wound up using it.

Marc: Yeah, it's like the chief asking for your gun and badge.

John: Yeah, exactly. And it also solved the problem later when you know it’s- she shouldn't have heard X. 

Albert: Right.

John: And that's a big problem on the show is in theory, if they can all hear each other’s conversations... Whereas a lot of cop shows, a big chunk of the time is, ‘What did you find out from witness x, Billy?’ What did you find out about witness y? Alright now let's put it together.’ They know. Now how did we do this blow?

Marc: Now that wass digital smoke, and that is a model.

Albert: Green screen model.

Marc: Yeah, we modeled the windows and actually shot it in our parking lot right here in Highland, in Santa Monica Boulevard.

John: Now we built- we do builds on the- building’s blowing up is better with models. The cars we've found we can do just digitally, but the buildings really look great with the model.

Marc: But we still use the model for the car as well. We just don't have the time or the money to do full explosions, you know, we do just a little aftermath with some debris and smoke.

Albert: Especially when it's someone's real house.

Marc: Yes.

Albert: Don't want to-

John: Generally they kind of frown on that, of just blow out the windows.

Albert: Because last year we did, Marc and I worked on another episode where we blow up a warehouse. And it was an abandoned warehouse, so you blow out the windows and break the glass, so it's not such a big deal.

Marc: Yeah, we did a little damage to the Prison Break set on that. What they shot was-

John: I remember, because I pulled up the day you were shooting that, I was like ‘I hope I haven't missed the blow.’ I was a quarter mile away and my windshield shook and I'm like OK, that was a little bigger than we anticipated’.

Albert: But this was a house with six kids was it?

Marc: Six kids, yeah.

Albert: So it was-

John: So blowing it up wouldn't have changed it all that much.

Albert: Probably not. Actually that family was incredibly neat.

John: And this is a lot of fun. And again, this is where, if you pay attention, we never tell you Tara’s backstory; if you pay attention all six episodes, you can figure out exactly what Tara used to do before she became a con woman. The information she knows, the way she puts stuff together, you’ll figure it out. Also the yelling. This was a lot of fun, because Eliot would be annoyed in this situation, and Chris Kane is never funnier than when Eliot is incredibly annoyed.

Marc: That’s right, and it's usually with Hardison.

John: Yeah. Thank you, I don't know how you make this show without phone cameras I really- we couldn't have made this show in 1978 this would've been a lot harder.

Albert: Or earbuds.

John: Or earbuds. Well earbuds we could've got around, but- no earbuds might have made our life easier, actually.

Albert: This was another thing that came up in research, actually, when I wrote a book about the Chinese Triads, and it is actually true that they're signature weapon is a meat cleaver. We looked at a few pictures of them, they're pretty impressive; they are really big and they have engravings on them, stuff like that. I've also looked at way too many pictures of victims of the Triads.

Marc: Yeah, missing fingers, and hands, and arms.

Albert: But that, again, it just added another fun element, knowing that there was, in reality there was a signature weapon that they use, and gave Eliot another fight scene.

John: Of course they'd be fancy meat cleavers, you're not gonna just pick a meat cleaver at Tesco or the kitchen section of Best Buy; you're gonna get one specially made. This was a lot of fun, too, something we haven't done in a while, which was watching Eliot figure out his fight space. You know, control access doing the math in this head. You know, it's always a little easier if no ones around him, just so he can tear people around a little easier. Fun stunt. Jerri did this, right?

Marc: Yeah, she was really nervous about doing her first fight with us, but she was a trooper; she did a great job.

John: She actually killed that guy. I feel a little bad about that, that's the first time we've admitted that, but you know. This was one of my favorite fights, cause we don't do a lot of weapon fights.

Marc: Yeah.

John: And it really reads well; the cleavers read real. Also we do a nice fight style with Chris here.

Albert: We did use cleavers back in the first season with the Wedding Job.

John: Oh that's right, we had the kitchen thing.

Albert: A kitchen thing. But it was a different kind of fight; it was a one on one in an enclosed space. This was an open space with multiple attackers ,and again, different props to use. So like, you saw the mannequin dummy there, and the rolling carts, and things like that, and so it ended up being a really fun scene.

John: And again, thank god for the surveillance culture - the fact that there are so many traffic cameras. Although you may bitch about privacy, it really helps us.

Marc: It really, really helps us.

John: This was interesting. This- I forget how this came up, I think the fact he had two IDs, but they had only checked one. I had a friend who was a Mountie- and remember, we were talking about my buddy who had done undercover up in Canada, and gh said the problem was, the guys got the fake, ran up records on fake Canadian IDs and you never knew the original crimes. Yeah. ‘Hey, how does Tara Cole know how to handle a meat cleaver?’ You’ll find-

Marc: Yup.

John: There you go, and that's a nice hit. And the head butt. I love the head butt, I'm sorry, man, that's a great way to end a fight.

Marc: She gets to take part.

John: Also, there's a lot of really nice hair flipping around in that fight scene, I gotta say.

Marc: I love-

John: I don't know whose looks better.

Marc: It's like a [Unintelligible. Sounds like ‘Germat’?] commercial.

[Laughter]

John: And that's, again, one of the problems with having a really uber competent team is, ‘OK they would have run this guy's background. What is the one loophole we could find that Hardison could screw up?’ You know, it's not screw up, it's nobody’s perfect.

Albert: It's just overlooked.

John: That's the trick, it has to always be some sort of fair play thing. Not a mistake, not just a ‘I didn't look in that drawer.’ This is a legitimate loophole.

Albert: Look how great this location is, though. It's everywhere; there's stuff everywhere. We really would not have been able to duplicate this on a set. 

Marc: No.

John: What? No?

Marc: Never. 

John: I love that he keeps the voice up here. That killed me here the first time I saw the dalies I was like, ‘Is he still doing Lagerfeld’?

Marc: Jack Bouvier. 

John: Yeah the fingerless gloves are really the pièce de résistance there. There's a lot of stuff there that could be on anybody, but the fingerless gloves really digs in.

Albert: Again, that's straight out of the Lagerfeld book.

Marc: Tim went for it.

John: Are those glasses actually rose tinted?

Albert: Yes.

John: Yes they are, that's magnificent. And the evil speech of evil: ‘Listen, I'm just a businessman. I have obligations.’ You know, in his head he's keeping many people employed back in China. You know, and he's a copy fighter, he's like those electronic freedom foundation guys who doesn't believe in copyright.

Albert: He's a hero, really.

John: He is a hero.

Albert: Of his own story, but- 

John: Exactly, he just happens to interact with our story. 

Albert: Exactly.

John: And this is actually a cue, this is a hint to where Nate’s- This winds up being the first episode of the second half of the season. This is kind of a hint of where Nate’s arc is going for the season, where he's getting so addicted to control and not losing and beating the bad guy, he's starting to make poor decisions. And he makes a series of remarkably poor decisions through the back six that really just the competence of the team protects him from.

Albert: He's kind of like those football teams that keep pulling it out in the 4th quarter and just decide that's just what they have to do. So they don’t mind coasting through the rest of the game or even, you know, getting down and behind before then.

John: Yeah it's- it's the mental discipline, and something that Parker says later on in the season which is, ‘Be the Nate Ford that we came back for.’ The mental discipline that made him legendary and which they count on is starting to slip. And it's not because of the booze, it's because of what he's substituting the booze with.

Marc: Right.

John: This is me drinking my Guinness, by the way.

[Laughter]

Albert: It's not your Guinness, it's what you’re substituting for the Guinness.

John: No, no, this is my Guinness; I'm actually drinking.

Albert: Oh ok. It's actually another Guiness that is substituting for his Guinness.

[Laughter]

John: It's, again, a Guinness that's somewhere else that I would like to be drinking. Some bargaining, trying to get them to take Eliot instead of Jeri.

Marc: That wasn't something he planned for. 

John: No, no, and it's interesting, and again, this is all trust issues. She kind of volunteered herself for this position, she’s, you know- 

Albert: The trick is, part of the whole episode was really the character dynamics. Because it was a new character, because it was a new team member, even though she'd been introduced in the episode beforehand, this is really the first full con they run together as a team. So it was a very tricky thing, and so I had the outlines of what the broad strokes would be, but this is the point when you go to the show runner and you say, ‘John how does this work, exactly?’ And then John takes over.

John: We stare at the ceiling and- that's what the writers room is for. And this is great, we actually wound up paralleling this shot. You created this shot for this episode, Marc; we wound up paralleling this argument in, like, two other episodes. There's actually a similar version of this shot in the first half in the season finale, where it's like, we are now sitting judgment of Nate Ford, and we’re a little distrubed that we’re not feeling very comfortable here. Yeah, and this cutting pattern replicates, and it’s interesting, and it's because we have editors working over certain episodes that make certain choices. And those are I think the names of-

Albert: They were real Electric Entertainment employees.

John: ‘Maybe I want to meet...’ Yes. Hardison is the most hard done by character; he never gets what he wants. And that, again, is one of those things where this episode was shot in 6 ½ days.

Marc: Yes, there's my mother-in-law.

John: There you go; she's a lovely woman.

Marc: A lovely woman.

John: Are you checking the list of actors to pick her name up? That's not good.

Marc: No, gosh no.

John: You know, we had four different ways this scam works. All depending on exactly how this shooting schedule worked out. And I remember I had to sit down with my wife and I was like, ‘Alright’, cause she's big into this, I was like, ‘Exactly what is the timing and choreography on a fashion show?’ And there, the thing with the dresses and they're all transported across town. So it was a good lesson for writers is, the great thing about TV is you're shooting every week; the really great thing about TV that will also drive you crazy is, you learn how to have a bunch of choices. Because sometimes the world decides not cooperate with you, and you can't shut down production for two days and just go- You've worked on big films, you've seen this. Like, ‘You know what? We're just gonna take a day off and find the right location.’

Marc: Yes.

John: No. Not so much.

Albert: The scene coming up with Parker in the gown. This is really, if you think about it and you say that you're gonna do an episode with the Leverage team involved in the fashion world, kind of the promise of the premise is you're gonna get Parker in a fashion show. In a gown, in a fashion show.

John: Right, because she's the one person who would despise it.

Albert: Right, and you kind of have to deliver this scene.

John: This was also shot later, and it was interesting because we don't usually get Parker and Eliot- you know, Parker and Eliot in a two-hander. And if you go back, you can see in the back half of the season when we- especially when we saw how it worked out in The Lost Heir Job, it became kind of a little more standard that we go to this partnership. You also see it pop up in the bottle show, the bar show, what the hell did we call it?

Marc: Bottle Job.

John: We called it The Bottle Job, that's right.

Marc: The problem with doing these two-handers is he can get her to laugh and break.

John: Yeah, Chris can crack Beth up. Him doing the dirty dresses on the floor line, Beth I think broke character maybe ten times because we are in the basement shooting that day. 

Marc: And this is the dress that Nadine our costume designer built.

Albert: Yeah.

John: It's a pretty amazing dress.

Marc: A beautiful dress.

John: The thumb drive of intent. Thank you thumb drive, for giving us a short hand so audiences know what we're doing. 

Marc: Yes, so she basically- you'll see that all of the Andre V, that's the Andre V character, has a touch of yellow in it.

John: That's right. Nadine created a unified theme for the fashion line - the fake fashion line that we were doing. 

Albert: She created an actual line.

Marc: Yeah, so she created a whole line and there's a touch of yellow in everything and as you’ll see when we get to the runway-

John: Where's this dress? We should auction this dress off.

Albert: Nadine probably has it.

Marc: It's actually in my car.

John: Oh no. I wish I didn't know that.

Marc: And then Dave Connell carried it with the lighting design as well.

John: Oh that's great, that is great. It's like we do this for a living.

Marc: Almost.

John: I love that Parker does the most- the little slide across the spot; that's a lot of fun. And now, did you shoot this at night? You had how many days on this set?

Marc: I think we did this-

John: You had the day, which was the warm up and then-

Marc: I think we had this location for two days.

John: That's not bad.

Marc: That's Jeffery Gilbert who played Andre V; he was just great. And I love Parker with the moves.

John: With the big head turn.

Marc: Just for a moment she thinks she got it under control, of course.

John: No, not so much. Walking is hard; walking in those heels is hard.

Albert: Walking in heels is hard.

John: I also love the little improv- it wasn’t in the script, but I remember seeing it in the dalies - she cracks her neck.

Marc: Yes that was definite Parker move. And I know this had to be- the scene coming up had to be a John Rogers line, where it's written that Andre V is banging his head repeatedly against the wall.

[Laughter]

John: Well, yeah, because I do that in the writers room.

Marc: And they said, ‘We gotta move on.’ I said, ‘No, I need to get the guy banging his head.’

John: Trust me, have some sympathy. And this is where we pay off the idea that Tara has heard about this team, and now believes she's given Nate one clue as to what she’s gonna do and she's desperately hoping they're as good as they think they are, and she’s doing the set up to this, she's setting up this beat. It was tricky, because we did actually play- she does actually look like she's selling the team out here, and if you're watching the DVD, you are watching all the way through the seasons. aAnd we did go back and forth on how loyal would she be to the team. And it really is the fact that one of the reasons you watch the show, or at least I think one of the reasons you watch the show, is the family vibe.

Albert: Absolutely.

John: And just having somebody who wasn’t into the family vibe in the middle of it, it might've been interesting from a writing standpoint, and we’re all fans of the show who write the show, it wasn’t interesting from an audience standpoint; it felt a little overly clever, a little constructed. But we do it just enough that we can get she's part of the team, but she doesn't buy into Nate’s bullshit, and as a result her actions in the finale make some sort of organic sense. And the van, oh, the van.

Marc: Gotta have the van.

John: Not anymore.

[Laughter]

Marc: Well-

John: No the- and this, again, we had like four variations how this particular con worked. Who did those designs? Who did-? We have a lot of actual fashion designs floating around in this.

Marc: I think Nadine.

Albert: Nadine and her team did pretty much everything.

John: They sketched them up and sent them off to Derek to do the computer graphics.

Albert: They did the sketches, they did the buckles sketches, they designed the clothes. Like I said, this was a real- this was a field day for the wardrobe and makeup and hair.

Marc: For the glam department.

John: That was nice, too. Cause the thing we originally missed, that having him hand him the badge, it’s a nice touch. Again, the trick when you’re doing- Some of the endings we stop and explain a lot, some just kind of unroll, and you have to make sure you set up all the pieces. And a lot of times when you're running and gunning and shooting, that stuff goes away.

Marc: It does. And so much of it is like, you get to a certain scene like, oh my god, in the flashback you're supposed to see that happens later.

John: Do you break those off separately when you shoot these or-? I mean, I know you, kind of, barely read the script.

Marc: A lot of times they are within the scenes and god bless Suzanne, our script supervisor, she just, she-

John: She's the best. She's actually the best I've  ever worked with.

Marc: She's the gatekeeper, yeah, she’s amazing. 

John: A Script Supervisor’s job, in case you don't know, if you're watching, is to sit next to the Director with a copy of the script, with special notations that they go to school to learn, to track what is in every shot, what the angles are, what the sizes are, who’s crossing, who’s walking in from what direction.

Marc: She's basically- she's keeping score and she’s the directors best friend, or worst enemy.

John: You will hear a lot of directors, even really experienced directors say-

Marc: As well as an editor, because, you know, an editor just gets a hard drive of footage, and if he can't decipher her notes, then he's gonna struggle as well.

John: I've seen really experienced directors, guys who are famous, they will finish and will turn to their script supervisor and go ‘What do I need?’ Cause they're watching the coverage while the directors watching the-

Marc: And we do a lot of different things and as a director, you're watching performances, and you're making sure you're hitting all the right emotional beats, and you know, when we do certain scenes where we have multiple characters, or you’re doing a 360-

John: We have a five-hander here.

Marc: Yeah, or doing a 360 and the camera’s going around and around, you need someone to be keeping score for you.

John: I like the physicality, by the way, watching this again, of watching Tim does with his face when he’s with the character and when he's just dropped it, and all of a sudden that kind of fake character, the wardrobe doesn't matter if he's just pissed, and you know he's dug in.

Marc: As soon as he's pulled off the glasses-

John: It's Nate.

Marc: It's Nate. 

John: Great job.

Marc: And we haven't even had him say that, when Tom, later on, you know, points that out, you're not even who you say you are, he, like, looks at him in a certain way.

John: Yeah. No, nice call. The- oh yes, this was, again, interesting, is one of the things that really depends on the speed with which these guys can rip this stuff off. You know, in one of the original versions we were talking about where the dresses are actually transported- right after the fashion show, the dresses actually are driven across town and are put in a private closed viewing for the buyers. They won’t let anybody else close to those dresses because even with photographs, they can be knocked off within a matter of 48-72 hours. Which is stunning, which is what you're trying to fight when you're trying to fight piracy. And hung by his own sin, which is one of the rules.

Albert: There's always a rule. Yup. Going back to the wardrobe and hair and makeup departments, the other thing you don't end up seeing is that they went through a lot of their own iterations of what- before what you see on the screen. They did a lot of tests, they did a lot of different looks. If we had time, we could probably show all these other test photos they took, and different hair configurations, and make up, and at one point they did this whole sort of Kabuki look, but we decided that might've been a little too fashion forward for this show. They really went all out.

Marc: They went all out.

John: Did you say fashion forward?

Albert: Sure.

Marc: And some of them were just based on the element of time, you know, we wouldn't have time to change actors over to a certain style, and-

John: Yeah, cause I mean, that's the thing, is when the difference between shooting Parker as Parker, and shooting Parker as Parker as fashion model, is two hours to change that character's look.

Albert: At least.

John: At least. And the walk of victory.

Marc: Dun dun dunnn.

John: This is nice, this is- I, you know, I always love the 60s, 70s call back; it's a nice style choice. Also, you've got that great street to shoot down. Where was that? Was that outside of-?

Marc: That was right outside of the actual warehouse location.

Albert: Across the river.

Marc: Just across the river from downtown Portland, so it was really close; you know, had a nice overpass.

John: Looked like that section of T that’s elevated.

Marc: This, again, is supposed to be in Asia, which was actually just another area of the warehouse again.

John: And then that's a kind of an iconic shot for this show now. That's nice, the Jeri Ryan era, as the fans call it. If you go on the boards and see the fans arguing over which six episodes are the best in the giant ouvre of Leverage ouvre. And she pays a horrible horrible price for her treachery.

Albert: Those are real working steam presses, and I can tell you from having been there, they were ridiculously hot. 

[Laughter]

Albert: I didn't want to be anywhere near it. I was like, ‘Wow, Gloria is really a trooper going through this.’ She had to learn how to operate it; it had, like, foot petals and things.

John: This is why it's good to be a writer, is, we write horrible things and then the directors and actors go live there, while we occasionally- Sometimes we venture from the hotel room to go visit the set.

Marc: At times.

John: But it's for the best if the writer isn't there; just causes trouble.

Albert: We can go pose and take pictures with the models; that's when we show up on set.

John: Yes. And then this is actually based on, there's a bunch of factories now that are owned by the employees that were taken over. Some car factories, some- there was a big thing in South America for a while of the workers seizing foreclosed factories and opening them up as co-ops.

Marc: I did not know that.

John: Yes, there you go. Anything we can do to undermine the infrastructure of capitalism of America in Leverage we try to, we try to.

Marc: Now this is a happier factory, it's brighter.

John: Brighter colors.

Marc: Yeah, it's brighter colors, there's sound.

[Laughter]

John: I love that. I love you sitting in the director’s chair like, ‘Alright, now make it the happy sweatshop.’

Marc: How else can we make them happy?

John: Lunch breaks.

Marc: Lunch breaks! Sandwiches. Sandwiches make everyone happy. Everybody’s happy with a sandwich.

John: There you go, and milk, that's delicious. Look, and we saw that particular extra was unhappy earlier.

Albert: That's right.

Marc: She was.

John: There you go; really sold it. And again, it's interesting because, you know, you shot two years of this now, and you understand the vics aren't a big part of actual screen time, they are on in the opening, they're on in the closing. Those actors are insanely important, because it means you have to like them really fast, and if you don't like them really fast, you know, it won’t pay off.

Marc: Yeah, and they have to keep up because, you know, it's not like we get a lot of time to do rehearsals, and so some of the crux of the episode can be in their hands.

Albert: Oh yeah, the emotional core of the story always hinges on the victims and their choices.

John: And sometimes those scenes with Tim Hutton in the bar, that's the entire reason you're gonna care about this episode. And this is a lot of fun with- this is when we- again, we really track, if you watch the back six episodes where Tara Cole feels in how she's getting the money. Happy about getting the money, ambivalent about getting the money, not caring so much, you know. She never doesn't care, cause that's just wrong. And now, it's interesting, Tim and I had a nice conversation about this particular phone call, cause he called me about this and he's like, ‘I'm not sure where we're going with this.’ I'm like, ‘You know that moment when you've had an argument with the wife and you've realized you've said the wrong thing and you can never take it back?’ And he's like, ‘Oh yeah.’ and I'm like, ‘That one right there.’ And it's one of my favorite little Nate/Sophie scenes and they're not even in the same room. Because it's, you know, it's- banter is fun, relationships are hard.

Marc: Right.

Albert: Oh I like that. Banter is fun, relationships are hard. 

John: And, you know, end of day, unless you show a couple of these scenes every now and then, you don't buy these relationships as real. And that's why I think one of the reasons the Eliot/Nate relationship feels very grounded is, we give opportunity for Chris Kane and Tim to kind of dig in on the fact that they don't always agree, those characters.

Albert: And you gotta give somewhere for the characters to go. That's the thing about a scene like this, at the end it gives them somewhere to go after here.

John: That was great. Thank you so much, guys, that was a lot of fun. The episode was fantastic.

Albert: That was The Runway Job.

Marc: Thank you.

John: Anything you wanna say to the nice folks before we move onto the next one?

Marc: Stay tuned.

[Laughter]

John: It's a DVD, I don't think they’re gonna wander off-

Marc: For the season.

John: Oh for another season, that's right. Season 3. Albert anything you wanna say?

Albert: No this was great, this was, I think, my third episode working with Marc. Third, that I'd written. Kind of fourth.

John: Kind of codependent.

Marc: Yes, yes.

Albert: We are, but I've learned that one thing: banter is fun, but relationships are hard, so we gotta keep working on it.

Marc: That’s right.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Alright alright alright

You’ve all been asking for it, so here it is! 

This will be (edit: HELLA) long and obviously spoiler-y, so everything is under a cut. 

Are you ready?

Before we get to it, I want to mention that for the sake of keeping things organized, I will NOT be talking about my AU (@ask-whitepearl-and-steven​) in this post. I want to just analyze the show as a viewer and a fan first. I’ll make a seperate post for AU-thoughts a bit later.

Without further ado:

EP 1: LITTLE HOMESCHOOL

This is a great way to open up the episode and show the changes through the lens of someone who has been a bit out of it for a while (we are all Cherry Quartz, fresh from the hiatus, aren’t we?) but I’m sorry, this post still takes the cake:

Okay, okay, back to the program.

“That used to be a loaded question...“

Right off the bat, Steven is SO much more confident about saying that he’s... HIMSELF! What a good feeling. I’m very proud of our boy. 

I love the name “Gemglyph” for the gem language! I’ll need to know who wrote these, though. And who the heck drew the diamonds? Hopefully it was BP. 

And I’m not the first one to point this out, but MORE ANIME REFERENCES!

Which can be seen as either a reference to the Chill Low-Fi Hiphop Beats to Study To OR Whisper of the Heart. 

And absolutely no one cares but something that caught my eye is the fact that they have an EARTH FLAG at Little Homeschool! How cool is that!

Earth 4ever!!! 

Off-note - I love how INVESTED they are in this conversation Pearl is having with Holo-Pearl.

Peak entertainment. 

I love Professor Amethyst and I love the random human who snuck in to apparently take lessons on Not Giving A Single Shit About Anything, Ever. 

And here we FINALLY are in the FUTURE

Where we FINALLY get Jasper as a functioning character

And 

She’s

SO DRAMATIC, I LOVE HER.

This is literally SO funny like she... she was just... laying on top of her house... under a blanket..... FOr WHAT? To stand up dramatically and throw it off when Steven inevitably paid a visit? 

Is that just what she dOES? 

“It’s FINE I don’t need any HELP, I’m FUNCTIONING, I’m just having a SELF CARE DAY OK”

Also I’m sorry but

Jasper: “It took forever to yank those puny green earthlings out of the ground.”

Steven: “You mean grass...?“

THIS. RIGHT HERE. is peak Jasper. 

It’s also curious how INVESTED Steven is in this:

“I’m TRYING to give you [a purpose]!“

Why are you... trying to do that, though? Isn’t the whole idea for gems to surpass their ‘purpose’ and just kinda... do whatever? Isn’t Jasper just kinda... doing whatever? 

I mean, sure, it’s not useful to anyone, but she seems relatively happy. Aside from. You know. The whole laying on rocks under blankets until she’s disturbed thing and-- okay, you’re right, maybe an intervention would be healthy. 

I’m not gonna talk at length about the rest of the episode - although I think it’s really good, I don’t know what I can say about it that hasn’t already been said. Jasper is definitely poking Steven’s buttons and rephrasing a LOT of what WHITE has said to Pink: “You surround yourself with inferior gems because it makes you feel better.”

And Steven REACTS to this. The taunt WORKS.

And yes, he gains some extra powers for it, but something tells me this AIN’T the only thing he will get. It feels like a two-edged sword. Like it’ll be his own downfall somehow....... maybe at the end of the series. 

Ashes to ashes.... hole to hole.

And oh wow I thought they were gonna bond but LMAO

“Consider your fight back there your first and ONLY lesson.“

Basically:

I love you Jasper.

EP 2: GUIDANCE

I LOVE YOU AMETHYST.

sHE’S doing SO much and she’s SO good at it!! Look at her!! Organizing stuff!!!! 

RUBIES IN SUNGLASSES. IN SQUARE SUNGLASSES. 

I need 20. 

And I also need 20 of Larimar because holy shit that’s hilarious. 

Larimar: “I want to hear the human screams forever.”

Steven: “Okay that’s kinda troubling.”

I love the reference to Monsters Inc here and I love the callback at the end of the episode when Larimar switches to Human Laughter to get her fill of that particular erm... need. 

And honestly the ensuing chaos is equally predictable and entertaining. 

I’m SO glad to know that Rubies are just... Like That and that actually Navy is not a deviation from the norm but rather a different flavor of the chaotic energy all Rubies naturally seem to possess. 

Amethyst is also super relatable:

“Ah yes, the fool comes crawling back. Come to beg for forgiveness, have you?”

In fact, the episode’s WHOLe HUMOUR is just very much My Brand

“Sometimes you save all the people but the rollercoaster still crashes into the ocean...... and that’s okay.”

Including the Running Gag that is Onion. Who... does not appear to have aged. At all. And that’s okay.

EP 3: ROSE BUDS

Okay where do I even begin with this one. Um.

I have to openly admit that I spent the majority of this episode wheezing with laughter. Let’s start with the Zoomans:

Who are CLEARLY STILL SUPER SALTY AT GREG ABOUT REJECTING THEM??? Which is hilarious. 

And also this paradise is fascinating in and of itself. 

But the next scene is basically where I started losing my shit.

Okay, okay, alright so. Uh. I have... a few questions.

Like Why. WHY. Does she look. SO MUCH like Rose? 

Clearly Rose Quartz differ in coloring and etc. But She literally looks. Like THE Rose. VERY explicitly. 

So here’s several options here:

1) Pink made Rose Quartz way before any of the Rebellion happened and Pearl just basically pigeonholed her into THIS specific Rose Quartz appearance because she (???) had a crush? Or somehow saw this specific Rose, thought ‘hot, i can make my sympathetic Diamond wear this exact costume and that would be EXCELLENT fanservice for ME’

2) Pink didn’t have any Rose Quartz until the Rebellion, and thereafter quickly decided ‘I need these gems as an alibi, so we’re just gonna make them” and she and Pearl basically inclubated Rose Quartz like a pokemon trainer hatching for a Shiny until they got one that looked Exactly Like That. 

3) There was no Thinking involved because this is Pink we’re talking about, and it was all just a huge coincidence for the sake of this Very Hilariously Uncomfortable Episode. 

While we ruminate on that, let’s look at some Relatable Reactions.

And here we have the holy trinity of “I have just seen the clone of my deceased parent/parental figure/lover.”

Featuring: Bonus ‘I’m Almost Over It’ Pearl

Also, I need y’all to make this into a meme:

For example:

Anyway, alright, alright. 

That relatable feel when your (hot) dead lesbian lover’s clone asks you if you’re okay after another one of the (less hot?) clones offers you a whole ass stick of butter to eat. 

And then you and your friends all hide in the bathroom to talk about your feelings:

Okay, the rest of the episode gives me FEELINGS and I love how hard Steven is trying, so I’ll just close it off with:

I LOVE THEM. Unironically, they are EVERYTHING I had hoped Rose Quartz would be. They’re SO MUCH like Rose herself - did she model her personality after them? Or are they just like her because she WAS like that, and they’re made from her essence? WHO KNOWS?! They’re adorable!

And the conflict between them and Steven is honestly so gooD! I don’t know if it’s completely relatable but I’m glad they ended up talking it out.

I wonder if we’ll ever see Her again... you know who I’m talkin’ about. 

Her....

I’m madly in love with Rose, ok, I don’t need a callout post. Just leave me be.

EP 4:  VOLLEYBALL

Alright, alright, alright.

OKAy,.... It’s fine. It’s FINE. I’m fINE. 

Confirmed: 8000 years. That’s. UH. A LOT? That puts our timelines quite a ways back. We kind of estimated as much, but still, it’s so jarring to think about. And PP is VERY casual about it. 

She’s also VERY casual about the injury.

“This is all Pink Diamond!”

It doesn’t seem like it bothers her to talk about it at all. She’s not even trying to keep it a secret. So I’m almost wondering - was there a connection to her being taken by White and the injury at all or not? 

She came to Steven to get healed - she clearly wants it gone. At the time she was injured, did Pink not even attempt to heal the injury? 

Follow up question: If she DID care, why didn’t she try to heal it?

Follow up to the follow up: Was it because she didn’t know she could? Or did she simply not have the time to (White removed her before she could)? 

When Steven goes pink, she gasps - but makes no further comment. It’s presumably because she’s seen this happen before. She doesn’t try to move away, weirdly enough - she asks him if everything is alright. Perhaps the context is too different for it to be triggering for her. Perhaps there’s more layers to it? HMMM. 

What follows is, perhaps, the SALTIEST we’ve seen Pearl since Greg rolled around.

“Did you come to compete?”

This is doubly curious to me because Crewniverse has previously explicitly stated that Pearl was NOT in love with Pink Diamond. She was in love with Rose. So if this is true, why would Pearl care about her place as Pink’s Pearl? She is supposed to be past all that, isn’t she? 

And yet as time goes on, the salinity grows exponentially. Alright, you two, I know you’re Pearls but tone it down with the sass. 

(Also, I’m sorry but I will NEVER call her Volleyball. That’s all. Bye.)

Also it’s worth noting that... PP is clearly VERY much in love with Pink.

This is, perhaps, where the lack of a grudge plays into it. She’s completely enamoured.

Moreover, she’s VERY casual about how she talks here. This isn’t exactly how one talks of their Diamond. This is how people talk about their romantic partners. She calls Pink silly, calls her ‘funny’. That’s not exactly a term of respect - it’s way more intimate than that. 

Also, did anyone else notice how, although CG Pearl’s gem is usually shaded in teal, it’s in Pink in this episode? VEEEERY subtle, Crew.

Also, we can’t quite see Pink Pearl’s expression fully here because her working eye isn’t visible, which makes it hard to get a read on things like

“I’m older than you.“ Is she just saying it casually? Or is she fully aware that she’s poking fun at CG Pearl? 

HI SHELL. ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW YOUR VOICE AND YOUR NAME ARE A SUBTLE NOD TO PORTAL, WHICH IS FORESHADOWING HOW BADLY THIS IS GONNA END. 

Meanwhile, Pearl continues to be in character.

“No need to be overly... attached.”

And this has nothing to do with anything but

she cute

Aaaand now it’s creepy again.

The rest of this is super important so let’s get to it:

“Oh, no. Pink did this.”

“What did you say?”

“It’s a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn’t fit to run one... and well! That set her off.”

“Set her off? What are you talking about?”

“You remember how she was! With her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right! She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn’t mean to hurt me! (giggle) I just happened to be standing too close to her that time and--”

And then Steven interrupts. 

We get more CG Pearl arguing for how wrong this image of Pink is to her. What CG Pearl knew was a totally different (or, well, same, but VERY changed) Pink. 

But what we have to prove our point is Steven himself. He rolls into the EXACT same state as Pink presumably did - and begins to over-use his powers. 

(This isn’t the first time we have seen him use this attack.)

The reactions from the Pearls are telling - this is clearly not Pink Pearl’s first rodeo with this type of Mood. 

And it’s important to note that Steven clearly didn’t direct any attack AT them. He simply yelled - and the whole dang place literally started to crack. There’s weight to the argument that possibly, Pink really DIDN’T mean to hurt her Pearl - that she was just collateral damage. 

Which doesn’t make it any better, obviously. Even if Pink had no direct intention of hurting her Pearl (and there are theories that Pink purposefully hit or threw Pink Pearl or somehow physically acted directly to damage her, which I was skeptical of) the result of it is still the same.

If you raise your voice and yell, even if you’re just yelling because YOU are hurt/have feelings, you might still hurt the people around you. If you throw a tantrum, even if your direct goal was just to let off some steam without aiming to harm anyone, whoever gets in your way is still the victim. 

And this is all very much On Brand for Pink’s timeline as we know it. We already knew this about her - we KNEW she tended to throw tantrums (like in the flashback on Jungle Moon) and that she was childish. The fact that she accidentally hurt her Pearl in the process because she had no self-control at that period in her life comes as no surprise. 

(Although it’s important to mention that perhaps hurting her own Pearl WAS the breaking point during which she finally realized how her emotional outbursts could have negative consequences on those around her.)

And this is a very beautiful message - even if Pink Pearl still doesn’t want to blame Pink for what was done to her (”But... she didn’t mean to!”) Pearl brings the point of it back around to her (”But you were still hurt!”) The point isn’t the person who did the hurting - the focus is on the victim and how they were affected. 

And the rest, I daresay, is history. 

I like the fact that they managed to still bring it back around to the main message: 

It isn’t about just “Pink was bad”. It’s about how she did bad things. And there were multiple sides to her - multiple stages. And the Pearls who knew her knew different sides of her - the side that didn’t know how to be a good person, who was selfish and childish and unrestrained... and  the side that was, arguable, too restrained. Who hated her own past, her own character and her own mistakes so much that she would rather bury them and keep secrets from everyone. 

And neither of those things were good, and neither were healthy, but they are a GREAT contrast to a GREAT character arc that is, arguably, still being unearthed. And we have so much more context for it all now. 

I, for one, can’t wait to see and discover more of Pink through Pink Pearl - no matter how ugly that side of her might be. I think it gives great perspective to her later growth. 

And if you ship the Pearls.. .well, I get why. 

Personally I’m not interested in it that way. Call me unromantic - I don’t think their relationship NEEDS to be shippy in order to be satisfyingly deep. I love the idea of them having a deep bond over this - a shared past, a shared experience, and gaining confidence through one another. 

Cheers and thanks for listening!

[mirror-to-the-past]

Okay, but what if we expanded upon the already awesome level 83 duty? I was thinking about a way it could've been executed in retrospect, and I'm just wondering if we could've let the possession thing simmer a little longer.

That duty was *this* close to being the Scions v. WOL scenario I've wanted since the WOL was almost overcome with light in SHB, except it could've worked! So what if it was tweaked a bit?

The WOL finishes their part of the duty, and the screen fades to black as the point of focus shifts. Same scene with the Scions noticing "your" arrival, and they approach Zenos disguised as the WOL with excitement, only to find that the person who appears as their companion is anything but. However, instead of the WOL jumping in at that moment, I say G'raha and Alisaie are joined by the other Scions, and react quickly, defending themselves from Zenos' initial attack in your form.

Thus begins the duty continued from the Scions' perspective of fighting against Zenos while habiting the WOL's body, obviously while controlling a specific Scion. I'd pick between Alphinaud or G'raha (Alisaie already gets a duty during END, and I know Alphinaud does as well, but this is a pivotal moment, and I'd love to hear Alphinaud's thoughts of fighting the WOL, their longtime companion, while I'm sure Alisaie would be yelling her thoughts out anyway), but it really doesn't matter for me.

I was thinking that this idea might be difficult to implement, because "oh, but everyone has a different job, so I don't know, the custom actions from a WOL boss fight might be too difficult," but the fact that in the cutscene where Zenos-WOL ambushes G'raha and Alisaie while using a Reaper skill removes that fear. They could use actions similar to the Zenos duel in the finale, which would already be existing. The only potentially difficult factor would be assigning your character model to doing said actions, which I admittedly, from a game designer's perspective, don't know how that would work. (But to be honest, this whole fantasy is purely spurned from 'wouldn't that be badass?' so I'm not being entirely practical.)

This whole premise of the Scions having to fight against the face of their friend, while also getting slowly pushed back/exhausted is not only tragic, but raises the stakes even more. You are here, as the player, worried for your WOL's body, and the well-being of the Scions, and are wondering how long they'd last without you.

As a potential additional factor...

Remember that timer from the duty with Hien, where it said "Time until WOL arrives?" This would've a great time to do a similar callback, as that was in a fight against Zenos possessed by Elidibus, simultaneously creating a fun parallel. However, having a timer for the WOL's arrival would take away the surprise from the WOL's rescue of the Scions in the actual cutscenes' climax. Thus, I propose a simple, and chilling alternative:

"Time until Zenos tires of this."

A ticking clock that, from the player's perspective, establishes the fact that, while the Scions are making a noble, collective stand, Zenos is choosing to hold back throughout all of this, and could wipe them out with your form if he so chose. This leads to the assumption that, once the clock strikes zero, Zenos would trigger an insta kill.

So, we're sweating, watching the clock tick down, and the Scions getting weaker. Perhaps Lucia runs in at one point, only to be quickly driven back, and the Scions tell her to "get everyone ready to flee the camp if need be! Something is terribly wrong!"

The clock runs down, and you're probably there sweating bullets, fearing the worst, and then a cutscene hits that's similar to the one we see in canon. Zenos is about to land a killing blow on two nearest Scions, which could still be Alisaie and G'raha from the original cutscene, only to be foiled by the true WOL throwing their sword (god, I loved that part), and crashing into him while he's off guard, before reclaiming their body.

I think the whole encounter, played out that way, would've been even more intense than before, and have wracked the Scions, and Camp Broken Glass, much, much more than it did in the story, as a result of things being drawn out.

What are your thoughts?

[the-swedes-knees]

Identifying the Swedes’ Guns 

I recall seeing an in-depth post on Otto’s gun at one point, but couldn’t find it again. But through some sleuthing was able to find what I believe are all their weapons. 

Otto

Starting off with big man, big gun!

Otto uses a PPSh-41, a magazine-fed submachinegun that can be loaded with either a box or drum (which Otto does use). It was in service with the USSR armed forced between 1941 - 1960s. 

During World War II, approximately six million of PPSh-41s were manufactured, making it the most produced submachine gun of the war.  It is a durable, low-maintenance weapon made of low-cost, easily obtained components, and the drum is able to hold 71 rounds.

In the postwar period, the PPSh was delivered in large quantities to Warsaw Pact countries and China. In the mid-1960s, the USSR gradually replaced the PPSh with a Kalashnikov assault rifle.

Axel

Onto this monster... which was actually the easiest to find since it’s SO specific and extra. 

What Axel has here is the PM-63 RAK, a hybrid child of a self-loading pistol and fully automatic submachine gun. It was first made in 1963 Poland, and was originally designed as a personal defense weapon. This weapon was only mass produced between 1967 - 1977, where it was used in service with the People’s Army of Poland and it’s police force. 

There were several reasons why PM-63 production only lasted a decade, with roughly 70,000 being made. The most glaring issue most people faced with the gun was the exposed slide-style breechblock. As the weapon fired, the slide would go rapidly shoot back and forth toward the user’s face.

Oscar

Oscar’s was... trickier to say the least. I couldn’t find many detailed shots and for the most part it’s not as unique as the previous two.

It’s a pump-action shotgun with a 14″ barrel... that’s about all I’ve got. From pure visual inspection I narrowed it down to two candidates:

The Mossberg 500 (first manufactured in 1960)

and the Remington 870 (first manufactured in 1950)

Both are American in origin and are still produced today with slight variations to the original design. Of the two, I lean more toward the Mossberg because of the more rectangular shape of the trigger guard. 

Since it’s introduction in 1960, more than 10 million Mossberg 500 shotguns have been manufactured. The gun was made with as few parts as possible, making it extremely affordable and particularly robust. 

Not much more to say here... it’s a no frills, reliable shotgun that continues to be used by soldiers and hunters alike. 

What this could mean:

So callback to TUA S1 when the police department was easily able to link Five’s fingerprints on a knife back to a cold case in 1938, raising suspicion and interest in the case.

That was just one set of fingerprints. Think of the disaster and suspicion it would raise if Commission assassins were just allowed to use any gun they wanted. 

Guns that hadn’t been invented yet, or even very old ones that at that point would be considered vintage or very rare... either wouldn’t align with the secretive nature of their organization.

Since Axel’s is so specific to the Cold War and the other two have what would be fairly popular models, I think the Commission assigns “Era Approved” weapons that range from several different countries of origin.

Either the Swedes chose them themselves at HQ, or they retrieved a package containing weapons like Hazel and Cha-Cha.

This could also be why they’re honestly pretty bad at shooting their targets... Otto and Axel are still getting used to these specific guns, and Oscar is the best shot since his choice of firearm remains relatively unchanged across several decades. 

Disclaimer, I am no firearms/history expert by any means. Please feel free to add on/correct me!

[skyblue-ringpops]

A Deep Dive Into Blaine Anderson

I wrote a six page essay analyzing Blaine Anderson.

Click to read it, I would really appreciate if you did. Keep in mind - it’s long. 

I hope you enjoy, and feel free to share your thoughts!

Warning: There will be discussion of neglect, abuse, homophobia, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and sexual assault.

When we were first introduced to Blaine Anderson, he was made out to seem like Kurt’s mentor, very confident and open to being himself. It wasn’t long before he changed, and many would say that change was for the worse. As many people say, he became whiny, clingy, and, according to many of his critics, annoying. However, it isn’t hard to see that Blaine was struggling mentally, and these issues were never explored further. This essay will not only determine what he was going through, but explain possible causes and effects. 

We first meet Blaine at Dalton Academy, confident, accepting of himself, someone for Kurt to look up to and be guided by. But why does he suddenly change after season two? He isn’t being himself at Dalton, he’s being the way he’s expected to be. The Warblers all seem to have a similar presence that captures the spirit of the academy - formal, wise, confident. That fits the personality of season two Blaine. Why is he acting this way, though? There’s a few possibilities. One, he’s trying to fit in. Everyone else in the academy acts that way, and Blaine doesn’t want to stand out, he wants to fit in, something he wasn���t able to do at his old school. Two, he could have a mentor at the academy that he’s trying to act more like. Blaine is the head Warbler, but he isn’t the authority in the group. That role would likely belong to Wes or David, one of the members of the council. It’s possible that Blaine admired them or was inspired in some way, and tried replicating their behavior. Three, he could have been ashamed of his actual personality or feared nobody would like his true self, and tried hiding it either to fit in, as I said before, or to make Kurt like him. I personally don’t think this is the case since he took off his mask once arriving at McKinley. I think he was likely trying to fit the image of the academy, hoping it would prevent the bullying he faced at his old school. Although Dalton had a zero tolerance policy, he likely faced some trauma, and a simple policy wouldn’t be enough for him.

So, what happened at his old school? Blaine said that he and his openly gay friend were jumped at a Sadie Hawkins dance at their school, leading Blaine to transfer to Dalton. This affected him quite a bit, and it was shown multiple times. While at the prom with Kurt, Blaine seems protective of him at times and isn’t too sure they’ll be safe. The chance of this being his first dance since the Sadie Hawkins is very high, it’s no surprise that he’d be afraid, especially knowing that Kurt had been bullied in the past. After Tina very awkwardly asks Blaine to the Sadie Hawkins dance and gets rejected, she apologizes, thinking he said no because of his past experience. We know he said no because of his crush on Sam, however, I don’t believe that’s the only reason. He knew Sam wouldn’t feel the same way, and he knew Tina would have been willing to go as friends. Even if it wasn’t the main reason for him rejecting her, his trauma likely played a role in it. 

alton Academy was a place of refuge for Blaine. He went there after the bullying, he made friends, he met Kurt, the Warblers were probably the closest thing he had to a family, he almost went back after his very hard breakup in season four. It wouldn’t be hard to believe that Dalton saved his life, which I’ll get more into later. When the academy burns down in season six, it’s clear that he was very affected by it. He’s brought into the auditorium clearly upset, crying, quiet. When explaining what happened, he seems distant, sort of zoned out. Chances are, he watched the academy burn - many agree it is a boarding school so even if it wasn’t during the school day, it’s very likely he was there. But the fire probably happened during the day, it makes sense since there would be something that could have caused it. Even if he didn’t witness the academy burn, he would have seen the results of the fire, even if it was just in pictures. The academy was clearly important to every student, they did what they could to respect it. Blaine has an extra reason to hold it so close, That would almost definitely add to his trauma, especially since it was a place that meant so much to him.

The Warblers were the closest thing Blaine had to a family. What about his parents, what about Cooper? We met Cooper and Pam, and his father was mentioned. However, in a deleted scene, it is confirmed that Blaine’s parents weren’t present in his life, they were too busy with work. Cooper and Blaine didn’t have much of a relationship, due to their age difference. Blaine’s father and Cooper aren’t even at the wedding, although it wasn’t originally his. There was a deleted explanation for Cooper’s absence, he had a callback for an audition. The only explanation for his father’s absence was also deleted - an implication that his parents got a divorce. It’s hard to say the effect this would have on Blaine, it was deleted so we never saw his reaction, and we don’t know if it even affected him much due to their absence. Also, it’s more than likely that Blaine raises himself. In flashbacks, it’s shown that he didn’t have the best childhood. We see Cooper teasing him and not letting him play, and we see him play Operation by himself. Chances are, he raised himself. He probably had nobody to raise him, no role models. We know Blaine didn’t have the best relationship with Cooper, we saw in the episode Big Brother that, although they seemed to make up at the end, Cooper never really supported Blaine and constantly criticized him, and Blaine seemed jealous of the attention Cooper received. These problems have probably always existed, and could even be traced back to their parents, if Cooper got more attention or praise. Their parents were absent for most of Blaine’s childhood, but due to the age difference, we can’t definitively say the same for Cooper. As for their father, he isn’t talked about much, but Blaine does tell Burt that his father used to fix cars with him in an effort to turn him straight. Now, this is only based on what Blaine says, it’s possible that he just assumed this and his father’s intention was simply spending time with his son. However, even if that is the case, there has to be some reason for Blaine to assume this. Whether his father made homophobic comments in the past, reacted badly to Blaine coming out, or explicitly said he had an issue with Blaine’s sexuality and/or wanted to “fix him”, or if his father never actually did anything, and he assumed the worst because of something done by someone else, there has to be some reason for him to think this. His mother does seem to be the better parent, at least she shows up once and he doesn’t have anything bad to say about her. But that doesn’t mean she was all good, and just observing her behaviors at the wedding shows this. First of all, she’s shown dancing with Puck, which must be weird for Blaine. Imagine seeing your recently divorced (although I’m not sure if we can consider the divorce canon since it was deleted, making this situation even worse) dancing with one of your classmates, who’s only a year older than you. This next point isn’t canon, it’s more of a possible scenario. His mother seems to be acting drunk at the wedding, and is one of the only ones to appear that way. Again, not confirmed. But if that is the case, imagine this scenario - Blaine’s mother hardly being present, and drinking when she is. First of all, this would make it much harder for the two to bond, since she probably wouldn’t be focused as much on him. Second, there isn’t much she would be able to do for him, so he wouldn’t have a responsible adult around if he needed one. And third - again, this is entirely speculation - it could potentially have a negative influence on him. While it definitely doesn’t seem Blaine has a dependence on alcohol (it actually seems to be more of the opposite, since he’s apparently drunk after one beer in The First Time), it could have a negative influence on his coping mechanisms, shown when he and Dave Karofsky are explaining their relationship to Kurt, saying they met at Scandals. This may not seem like an issue, but remember, during season six, Blaine was too depressed to do much of anything, to the point of getting kicked out of NYADA, but still chose to hang out in a bar.

Speaking of his relationship with Karofsky, almost everyone agrees that he shouldn’t have dated his ex’s former tormentor, and many criticize him for that. But what was his reason for choosing to date him? There are a few possibilities. First, he could have actually had feelings for him, which I doubt. It isn’t impossible, but he clearly wasn’t over Kurt, and he knew how Karofsky used to treat him, although he changed. It is possible that Blaine was just taking whatever he could get, like after the season four breakup when he was finally able to move on due to a crush on Sam, likely developed out of loneliness. Also, his feelings for Dave quickly disappear when he realizes he has a chance to get Kurt back. Another possibility is that he chose to date Dave to upset Kurt, out of spite possibly, but Blaine doesn’t seem like the type to intentionally hurt someone he loves. He usually tries to take on the role of a protector, so why would he try to hurt Kurt, even if he was upset with him, especially knowing what Dave did in the past? The third reason, which seems the most probable to me, is that Blaine dated Dave because he was seeking pain or abuse. There’s a few reasons why he could have done this. One, it isn’t uncommon for survivors of abuse, which with his father, Blaine might be, to seek out more pain after their abuser has stopped. It’s possible that, if his father was abusive, he did stop sometime around season 6, since Blaine likely doesn’t live at home anymore and if his parents did divorce around this time, he may not see his father anymore. Two, it could have been a form of punishment. If he blamed himself for the breakup, he may think he deserves pain for hurting Kurt. He also could have been seeking pain in order to feel something. He was extremely depressed after the breakup and likely felt numb, and in his mind, pain would be better than that. Finally, he could have been with Dave thinking he couldn’t do any better or didn’t deserve any better. This could be a result of the breakup or his previous insecurities shown in season 5.

Now, let’s take a closer look at his insecurities. Insecurity is something that has been covered quite a bit on the show, but is typically done poorly. In Blaine’s case, his insecurity makes him jealous and many criticize him for that. When Kurt begins a more healthy lifestyle and gets in better shape, rather than being happy for him, Blaine becomes jealous, tries to reverse his progress, and turns to the internet because he doesn’t feel comfortable around Kurt. There are some suggestions that Blaine may be going through something many characters in the show face - the eating disorder that only lasts one episode. There are many implications that he may be binge eating at the beginning of the episode, and even after deciding he wants to get into shape, continues consuming a large amount of calories, seemingly using it as a coping mechanism. However, this issue was completely overlooked, just like many others throughout the show. He also says to Kurt, “One day, you’re gonna wake up and realize that ‘I don’t love him anymore.’” He has the belief throughout the episode that Kurt is better than him, and could do better. However, this isn’t the first time he has a mindset like this. When Kurt texts Chandler, Blaine accuses him of cheating despite doing something similar with Sebastian and seeing no issue with it. When Kurt graduates, Blaine worries that the long-distance relationship won’t work for them, he worries that Kurt will leave him. When Blaine meets Elliot, he confronts him for trying to steal Kurt from him, despite both of them assuring him they are just friends. Kurt hasn’t done anything to make Blaine believe he isn’t loyal or wants to leave him. It seems that Blaine has abandonment issues, which could be traced back to his parents’ absence. This would also explain his clinginess and dependence on Kurt. Even when Kurt isn’t around, he always seems to have one person he latches onto. For example, in seasons four and five, he’s hardly seen without Sam, and even in season six, when he seems to go everywhere with Dave and moves in with him very quickly, and the only times he is without them are usually when he is with Kurt.

Blaine’s anxiety is shown in more ways than just his abandonment issues and clinginess. For example, when Blaine is reconsidering his choice to audition for NYADA and instead claims he wants to be a doctor despite having no prior interest, he is avoiding a cause of worry, a common symptom of anxiety. He also shows signs of an anxiety attack during the shooting. He’s shown sitting quietly, crying, and hugging his knees. He’s okay at first, but later panics after being shushed. He most likely thinks everyone is mad at him for making noise, and fears that if anything happens to them, he will be blamed. When Ryder calls “Katie” and the phone rings, everyone tells him to turn it off except for Blaine, who can be seen mouthing “Turn it off please” but doesn’t make a sound, likely because he’s too scared to speak. He doesn’t move and is the only one to not touch anyone during the lockdown. Even when Sam is trying to leave, Blaine doesn’t help, just covers his ears and tries to block it out. This could be signs of PTSD. Throughout the experience, he seems almost childlike, for example, curling up, audibly sobbing, clinging to Sam, and being the only person to call his parents and greeting his mother with “hey mommy”.

Along with his anxiety, Blaine is shown to have severe depression, which is especially notable during seasons four and six, but likely existed even before his transfer to Dalton. He talks about being unable to sleep and eat after he and Kurt broke up in season six, and was even kicked out of NYADA due to his lack of motivation. He nearly transfers back to Dalton after the season four breakup, a place of refuge for him, because everything at McKinley reminds him of Kurt and he can’t handle it. He even shows signs of being suicidal in seasons three and four. Season four has less to discuss, he says a few things that suggest he either is or is becoming suicidal, showing signs of severe depression and acting as if he has nothing left. In season three, though, there is more to look into, and if you aren’t paying close attention, it’s easy to miss. Both examples are from the episode On My Way. The theme for regionals is inspirational, and Blaine chooses to sing the song Cough Syrup. The song is viewed as a cry for help from the band when they were first starting out and unsure what to do. However, the song is not about suicide. It’s about the difficult decision to stray from the norm and do your own thing, or do what is expected of you. In fact, upon viewing the episode, the band said they never thought of the song in that way. However, many listeners do think of the song as being about suicide, and we don’t know what Blaine’s interpretation was. Later in the episode, the club discusses suicide. Everyone makes eye contact, and when they say what they are looking forward to, everyone laughs and smiles. However, Blaine doesn’t. Rather than looking at everyone else, he looks down, rubbing his wrists, suggesting possible self harm or suicidal ideation. He looks sad throughout the discussion, and his only smile, towards the end of the discussion, looks very forced and his eyes still look sad. Due to his past, it wouldn’t be hard to believe he had thoughts of suicide at some point, whether before Dalton, or during seasons three, four, and/or six.

My final point will be discussing this article. The article points out some inconsistencies about Blaine and sex, from his open discussion with Burt, casually bringing up masturbation, his sometimes sexual song choices, the car scene after he and Kurt go to Scandals, and his talk about sexy faces, to his argument with Sam when he says he’s “not for sale”. He shows no discomfort most of the time, until one suggestion makes him become angry and defensive. His character did go through quite a bit of changes, which could be an explanation for his inconsistencies, mixed with Glee’s notoriously bad writing, but there is another way to look at it: some kind of sexual trauma during his childhood. The ability to have a mature discussion about it can be explained by his exposure to it at a young age if this is the case, since, depending on his age, he would probably need an explanation and a discussion with adults, possibly strangers, if he came forward about his experience. He could, depending on the trauma, view sex as a way to gain approval. And if his dad actually is homophobic, this could be directly linked with Blaine’s experience, with his father possibly believing his sexuality is a result of the trauma. The presentation of his trauma could differentiate every day, being perfectly fine with talking about it one day and not wanting to the next. This could also provide a bit more of an explanation for the car scene during The First Time, if Blaine’s experience happened at a young age and that was his first exposure to and therefore the foundation of his understanding of sex, Blaine may not realize when he goes too far. We know that, whether this theory is true or not, Blaine experienced sexual assault when Tina “vaporaped” him. He doesn’t seem too bothered by her, and she even becomes one of his best friends after it happened. However, the response to trauma I discussed earlier seems to be present. Sam brings up the event later on, meaning he knows about it, and since the chances of Tina or Kurt (the only other ones who know) telling him aren’t high (Tina because she wouldn’t want to admit to it, unless she slipped up like she did with Kurt, and Kurt because he wouldn’t want to reveal Blaine’s trauma), and the fact that Sam brought it up in front of Blaine, shows that he was likely okay with talking about it. He wouldn’t tell Sam if he wasn’t okay discussing it, and if they never talked about it, Sam probably wouldn’t casually joke about it in front of him. If Sam thought the comment he made was okay, he probably didn’t think it affected Blaine too much. However, when Sam brings it up, Blaine clearly looks upset. It did have a negative effect on him, and it was more than likely traumatic. And there’s a possibility that it may not have been his first experience with sexual trauma.

There is no question that Blaine had a rough past, and many of those struggles continue to affect him. However, the show, for the most part, ignores them. I hope that through this essay, you were able to learn a bit more about Blaine, understand his inconsistencies and behaviors that seem out of character, to look past the surface level. Blaine is one of the strongest characters, but his issues are hardly ever brought to light. Keep in mind, a lot of this is speculation, headcanons, or analysis of background information that may not have been scripted. Respectful discussion is encouraged, and feel free to share any additional observations, theories, or headcanons, or suggest another character for me to look into.

[mcwriting]

sweet home alabama (2)

Hi all! Between marriage project and some one shots, I decided to upload this chapter!

Reminder: Characters have strong southern accents (save for Tom in the present).

Masterlist

Word Count: 2618

Warnings: slight injury mention

∆ present ∆

The weekend came and went, allowing Tom some time to get a new wardrobe for farmwork and acquire a pair of boots, as his last pair had been passed down and worn out by Sam years ago.

Tom had been enjoying a peaceful rest when he was jolted awake by two hands forcefully shaking him.

“What the- Sam! What are you doing?” Tom exclaimed, sitting up.

“You gotta go to Mel’s today, right? Sun rises in an hour. Better get up and eat ‘fore you head over there,” the younger brother explained. Tom tossed back his head and groaned.

“Fine. I’ll get up,” he replied, tossing off his quilt and sheet.

With the money Tom had made in recent years, he had been able to send some home every so often, which helped fund a much needed expansion of the family home. Unfortunately, they hadn’t added enough bathrooms for each brother to get their own.

“Tom! What in God’s name is taking you so long! You’re gonna be working cotton not modeling it!” Harry yelled, pounding on the door.

“Alright alright! It’s all yours!” Tom exclaimed as he opened up the door. Harry couldn’t help but laugh at his brother.

Though Tom had dressed in a button up, jeans, and boots, he had also made sure to style his hair until every wisp sat straight.

“You know you’re gonna sweat that gel off in ten minutes, right? Especially if you wear a hat.”

Tom rolled his eyes.

“Harry, you know me. There’s always a camera somewhere. Gotta be ready for anything. And it’s pomade, not gel.”

The other young twin just rolled his eyes back and slammed the door shut.

∆

A few minutes down the road, y/n was getting ready to start her own day. She rose at dawn like always, stretching a bit and hopping out of bed.

Though she was living a country life, she still took the time to do a full skincare routine, being especially attentive to the products she used and how much sunscreen she applied.

Since she wouldn’t be at any farms in the morning, y/n put on leggings and tshirt and headed out the door, a granola bar in hand. She only had to drive a mile away to get to the “s.h.e.d.”

As usual, she was the first one there, so she keyed in and turned on all the lights. She took in a deep breath of the smells of the soil and chemicals around her as she tossed on her lab coat.

You didn’t think she was any ordinary farm girl, did you?

In reality, she had actually gone to UCLA, getting degrees in both chemistry and environmental engineering. Now she had spent the last year doing research thanks to a grant to improve the agricultural health of her hometown so she could eventually receive a master’s degree.

But we’ll talk more on that later.

Now that the sun was finally peeking above the horizon, her two lab assistants finally showed up.

Her assistants, Ciara and Jacob, were students at a community college in the town 45 minutes away. They were bright and the three always enjoyed working together, as they played fun music and conversed while recording research.

“Hey! Glad y’all could finally make it! Y’all know that last week I collected more samples from Mel’s, so today I want to prepare a gram from each jar in solution so we can run samples and start looking at what nutrients need supplementing and where so I can put a fertilizer together for tomorrow.”

The two were happy to follow their boss’s instruction, and y/n couldn’t help but smile as she scanned over her lab, remembering where she started.

∆ 16 years old ∆

Y/n had always been good at school.

A straight A student, never one to act out or deliberately miss work. Everyone knew she was bright, and she continued to prove that as she aged.

By sophomore year of high school, she was already an above-average scorer on the ACT and was taking courses above her grade level to keep from boring herself.

But in a town as small as hers, one could only get so advanced in high school alone.

Thankfully once she was a junior, the community college Ciara and Jacob were now attending allowed students to enroll in some basic online classes and receive credit, so long as they had good enough internet connection.

Because she was ahead, y/n had a free period where she could mooch off of the school’s wifi in an empty classroom. However, she didn’t have the same luxury at home, and had to go to Tom’s to complete any assignments after school.

By this point, Tom had been going to small auditions for a couple years, picking up the occasional commercial role and making a few bucks here and there, enough to get his family better TV and internet, anyways.

“Hey, y/n?” Tom asked one day, late in the fall. He laid back on the bed, tossing a foam basketball above his head while y/n worked on her college math class from the floor. She hummed in response, holding a pencil between her teeth.

“What are you plannin’ to do with all this college stuff anyways?” he asked. His accent was still as strong as ever. He hadn’t taught himself to let it go yet.

“I’on know. Maybe git a degree and move out of this town for a while. Find a real job that ain’t baling hay or planting stuff. You know I really love science,” she replied. She knew she had a lot of options, she was only a couple points away from that perfect ACT score by now.

There was a pause as she continued to tap numbers into a calculator and record them.

“I got another audition ‘fore thanksgiving,'' Tom announced after a while. Y/n didn’t look up.

“Oh yeah? What for, toothpaste ad or somethin’?”

“Uh, no actually. This one’s for a movie. A real movie.”

Y/n dropped the pencil and looked up at Tom, pushing up from the ground to sit on her knees as he sat up straight.

“Really? You’re serious? You ain’t pulling my leg or something?”

Tom smiled big and nodded.

“I mean it. I really got this audition coming up.”

“Oh my gosh, TOM!”

Y/n quickly stood up, tackling her best friend in a hug, practically ending up on his lap. They stayed that way for a while.

“Tom, this is seriously incredible. You’re gonna be in a movie!”

He pulled back quickly.

“Don’t be too quick, now. This is only an audition, there’s no way to say I’ll actually get the part-” he started, but y/n got off him and kneeled on the floor, so that her eyes were level with his and she could grab his upper arms to look at him directly.

“You’re gonna get that part,” she smiled, unable to contain her excitement. “You’re gonna nail that audition, and you’re getting that part. This is gonna be your big break, I just know it.”

“Thanks for believin’ in me. Hopefully I won’t prove you a liar this time,” he replied, pulling her up into another hug.

She ended up being right, too, because after his first audition, he got a callback during Christmas break and secured the role which he’d film the summer between junior and senior year.

The pair knew they were really starting to grow up, but didn’t let their different pursuits come between them just yet.

Tom was the one who drove her to her final ACT where she got her perfect score (since she didn’t have a car yet), and the movie filmed a few hours away in the Birmingham area (where y/n drove Tom’s truck in his absence since he was still too young to live there alone).

It worked, for the most part.

∆ present ∆

Tom drew in a sharp breath and winced, limping through the barn and plopping onto a hay bale as he gulped down some water. He had been walking up and down the rows watering the plants, as the four-wheeler Melanie’s dad typically used to water was broken.

“How’s it looking, Mr. Carmichael?” he asked, dabbing away the sweat on his forehead with a towel as he rehydrated.

The older gentleman stood up and looked at Tom.

“Well, son. I’ve almost got this thing here fixed, but you ain’t looking too good,” he pointed out.

“What do you mean, sir?” Tom asked. He may have lost his accent, but didn’t forget his manners.

“Looks like you’ve been ridin’ horses the way you’re walkin’. New boots? Not to mention that sunburn you’re startin’ to nurse. Why don’t you run up to the house and have Mel fix those up. I’m sure her momma fixed some lunch for ya, too.”

“A- are you sure, sir? I’ve only got about 10 more rows before I’m done.”

“No, no. It’s alright, boy. Run along and fix yourself up. I’ll handle the rest.”

Tom thanked the man and slowly got up, immediately remembering the pain in his feet and now aware of the stinging on his cheeks.

He’d forgotten that boots don’t really break themselves in and he hadn’t worn very thick socks. He also had somehow neglected that the sun beats just as hard in the farmlands as it does in Malibu.

He waddled up to the house, where Melanie was on the porch reading a book.

“Well by God, Tom. You’re walkin’ like you just got your back blown out for the first time,” she laughed, causing his cheeks to redden more.

“They’re new boots, alright? Now could you help me out? Your dad said you might know of something?”

She looked past him towards the barn, then closed her book and nodded her head towards the door, standing.

“Come on. Momma made you a sandwich if you want it. You can leave your boots by the door.”

They headed inside, a large living room on the right and the kitchen to the left. Tom wiggled his shoes and socks off in the entryway as Melanie ducked into a hallway to grab a few things.

“Oh Tom! I’m glad you came in! Are you hungry? I’ve got lunch for ya,” Mrs. Carmichael said as she appeared from the kitchen.

“That would be really nice, Mrs. Carmichael. Thank you,” he replied as she sat him down at the kitchen table, placing a plate with a turkey sandwich and some chips in front of him along with a glass of sweet tea.

He dug into the meal, immediately realizing just how hungry he really was. By the time he’d finished the sandwich (which really didn’t take that long), Melanie appeared with a laundry basket full of stuff. Tom washed down his meal with some tea before speaking.

“Jesus, Mel, how much does it take to patch up some blisters?” he asked.

“First off, don’t be takin’ the Lord’s name in vain in this house,” she commanded, pointing her head towards her mother in the living room, to which Tom covered his mouth and shot a thumbs up. “And second, I figured it best just to grab all my stuff than dig through it.”

She plopped the basket on the table and herself into the seat next to Tom, stealing a chip from his plate. It crunched in her mouth as she began pulling out random things like a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff, and meds.

“What’s that all for?” Tom asked, brows furrowed. Melanie gave back an equally confused look and went back to digging.

“What do you mean? They’re just medical supplies.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean why do you have a stethoscope and stuff?”

She paused what she was doing and looked back up at Tom.

“You do know I’m a nurse, right?” she asked. She immediately knew he didn’t by the way his eyes popped open.

After high school, Melanie had been able to go off and get her nursing degree, now working in the closest hospital which was, you guessed it, 45 minutes away.

She usually worked 12 hour shifts at the hospital Tuesday through Thursday, spending her other days at home so she could respond to small needs around town, especially on weekends when people liked to get drunk and be reckless.

“Oh, wow. I didn’t realize that. Good for you,” Tom replied, unsure of what else to say.

“It’s alright. You’ve been gone quite a while and we all know you ain’t checking in on what happens ‘round these parts no more. Now take this and let me grab the aloe from the fridge,” she said, dropping two advil on his plate and getting up.

Tom did as told, feeling the weight of what she had dismissively said. He really hadn’t checked in since leaving. Sure, his brothers and Harrison sometimes kept him in the loop. At least, he thought so.

He was trying to remember what the last big piece of news he had heard about home was, but came up short. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen anything on social media about home, since he’d unfollowed most of the people back home after his career took off.

They all reminded him of y/n anyways.

“You mind if I put some of this on your face?” Melanie asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. He obliged and she spread some of the cool aloe gel over his sunburn.

“Feel better?” she asked, to which he nodded. “Good, now let’s take a look at those blisters.”

She cringed when she saw how beat up his feet were. She pulled out a bit of numbing gel, hydrocolloid bandages, and fabric tape. Soon enough, she had his blisters all covered up and was handing him some more bandages and tape.

“Now I want you to leave these on as long as possible, alright? When they fall off or the spot in the middle gets too big, you’ll switch ‘em out for new. You should be in ship shape here in a few days. And you best not forget sunscreen from now on.”

“Will do. Thanks again, Mel. Hard to believe I’ve been gone long enough for you to become a nurse and all, huh?” Tom asked, half joking. Melanie nodded.

“Yeah, well. ‘Lot’s changed around here, even if it don’t look like it. You’d be surprised… Now before I forget...” Melanie quickly got up and left the room, returning with two wood and metal contraptions. “Here’s some boot stretchers to put in your shoes when you get home. Should help stretch ‘em out and I’m sure the boys would lend you some leather conditioner.”

With that, Tom put his boots back on and thanked Mrs. Carmichael for the meal, heading back outside. He found Mr. Carmichael sitting on the now-functioning four wheeler.

“Well, boy, you all good?” the older man asked.

“Yes sir. Melanie got me all taped up and your wife made a great lunch. So what else do you need me to do?”

Mr. Carmichael looked around for a moment, staring at a few things, then back at Tom.

“Well I got the rest all watered and y/n won’t be around with fertilizer till tomorrow so why don’t you go home and rest up those feet, eh?”

Tom tried to object, as it was still quite early in the day, but the old man wouldn’t have it. He eventually conceded and gave one last thank you, hopping into his old truck and heading home, pondering why y/n would be bringing fertilizer in the coming day.

∆

A/N: hope you guys are liking this story so far! I really love the time jumping, and the progression of it in future chapters is really cool!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @mortallythoughtfulgurl, @onebigolemess, @justafangirlduh,

[your-frenchblondgirl]

Marvel's Loki: 12 Easter Eggs, Hidden Meanings, & Plot Details From Trailer

The God of Mischief is up to no good again.

Marvel President Kevin Feige unveiled the first in-depth look into Tom Hiddleston's debut solo series, Loki, which will follow the consequences of the 2012 version of everyone's favorite horned anti-hero as he makes a timeline-disrupting escape. From references to other Asgardians to apocalyptic alternate futures, Loki's trailer is full of hints to the show's mysterious plot.

Without further adieu, let's break it all down. Here are 12 things from the Loki trailer — including Easter eggs and hidden references — that you (probably) missed.

Endgame Effects

The first 25 seconds of the trailer contextualize where we are, and how we got here.

To recap, Avengers: Endgame's time heist was not a perfect mission. When the team of Tony Stark, Captain America, Hulk, and Ant-Man travel to the events of 2012's The Avengers, they successfully obtain the Soul and Mind Stones without problem, but fail to capture the Space Stone. After being knocked aside by an irate Hulk (stairs!), the Tesseract pops out of its briefcase, landing at Loki's shackled feet. Behaving like a true God of Mischief, Loki picks up the cube and dips through a portal.

From there, our solo series begins.

Iron Man Callback

Loki crash lands in a desert, located in what appears to be Mongolian-era China, considering the attire of the three people that approach him. Desert crash landings are no stranger to the MCU, as fans will recognize this moment as emulating Tony Stark's crashed escape from the Ten Rings' cave in Mark I of the Iron Man suit.

Owen Wilson

He may not have looked like him, but he sure sounded like him.

Owen Wilson makes his first appearance as a character that goes unnamed on-screen, but closed captions reveal him to be Mobius M. Mobius. What a name! Mobius does not have a rich comic history, but he has been involved in the prosecution of the Fantastic Four before. Interesting timing, don't you think?

Mobius takes a shackled Loki down an elevator, saying he's bringing him somewhere to talk. Loki, donning a Time Variance Authority prison jumpsuit, claims he doesn't like to talk, but Mobius immediately calls his bluff.

Here, Loki is a prisoner of the TVA for his time crimes. This group of timeline FBI officers are tasked with ensuring that everything operates as planned. When 2012 Loki escaped with the Tesseract, he essentially broke the timeline laws, and is now being remprimanded for it.

The Minutemen Meet Mysterious Figure

The TVA's cybernetic police force make their first appearance in what looks to be ancient China. Known as the Minutemen, these guys are tasked with carrying out TVA laws and directly deal with individuals that have interfered with the flow of time.

Here, the Minutemen are searching for someone, or something, in a past time period. If it is indeed ancient China, this would put it at the same location Loki crash landed into at the beginning of the trailer.

While the Minutemen execute their search, a mysterious cloaked figure drops a lantern on surrounding grass, and the smoke brings at least one Minuteman to his knees. There's no telling who this mystery man is, but if reports are to be believed, it could be Jonathan Majors's Kang the Conqueror debuting ahead of his lead antagonist role in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang has been rumored to be introduced in Loki for months, and there seems to be more tangible evidence of his existence in future frames.

More on that later.

"Glorious."

The MCU is stacked with notable quotes, but there's no one that delivers a Shakespearean line quite like the God of Mischief.

In just one word, Loki calls back to his character-defining statement from 2012's The Avengers: "I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose."

Oh, and this line is uttered in Stark Tower. Evident by the particular mirror design, it looks like Loki will return back to the timeline he escaped from.

The Three Faces of the TVA

Twice in this trailer we see three figures displayed in an area of prominence.

The three faces first appear behind Gugu Mbatha-Raw's high-ranking TVA executive, who is presiding over Loki's trial. The faces appear once again a couple of frames later, this time attached to full-scale bodies in the form of massive statues.

The faces have been speculated to belong to the Time-Keepers, three time-travelers who head the TVA. The trio, and the TVA organisation, have had disputes with none other than Kang the Conqueror, often fighting over temporal territory across the universe. Loki's timeline meddling might have disrupted Chronopolis, Kang's metropolitic city of conquest that combines all eras of the Conqueror's rule. If Kang is indeed an enemy of the TVA and Loki meddled with his city, Loki's may be in for a whole world of hurt.

Flashback Failures

Wilson's Mobius shows a shackled Loki footage of the God of Mischief's 2012 failed conquest of Earth, to which Loki disapproves. This could begin Loki's identity stuggles, which will be a central theme of the series.

Similar to how General Ross showed the Avengers their past destructions in Captain America: Civil War, it's likely that Mobius is taking Loki on an unpleasant trip down memory lane.

What will be particularly interesting is if Mobius shows Loki future events that he is unaware of. Remember, this Loki has only lived up until 2012's Avengers, so he has not experienced anything from Thor: The Dark World, Avengers: Infinity War, and beyond. What if Mobius shows Loki that he did in fact get the Asgardian throne at the end of The Dark World? How will Loki react to watching Thanos choke the life out of him in Infinity War's opening act?

Roxxcart... Roxxon?

Loki is seen with the Minutemen embarking on a mission inside a supermarket.

'Roxxcart' is prevalent throughout the aisles and entranceways, making this location all the more intriguing. Fans will recognize the 'Roxx-' prefix as attached to the Roxxon Energy Corporation, a company that is prevalent on the Marvel comic page. Roxxon has been engulfed in some shady business in the comics, and has been teased to appear in live-action before. If this supermarket is under the Roxxon banner, Loki might have just gained a massive conglomerate adversary.

Upon entering Roxxcart, the Minutemen hold a man at taser-point, though it's unclear if he's their target or simply an innocent shopper. All the while this is going on, the cloaked figure from earlier in the trailer watches from security footage.

Mephisto

Mobius and a Minuteman approach a young boy in a church. The boy offers an object to Mobius, which he accepts. As the two speak, a notable stain-glass window sits behind them. The window depicts a devil-like figure sitting royally, with many speculating this could be the extra-dimensional demon, Mephisto.

Let's start deep diving into speculation.

Considering Loki takes place in a branched timeline and will utilize time travel as an integral plot device, it's fair to assume we will not only visit the past, but also the futures.

Dystopian futures.

We speculated in the WandaVision trailer breakdown that Mephisto would play an integral role to Scarlet Witch's series. Let's run with the idea that Mephisto is not only in WandaVision, but is defeated. Could this tribute-like window indicate this takes place in a future where Mephisto wins?

In the comics, Mephisto spans centuries, popping up in the earliest days of Marvel lore. What if this scene is in the past, when Mephisto was worshipped as some form of god-like figure? There is no telling how Mephisto will factor in to any MCU projects, but if he does indeed debut in WandaVision, this mural becomes a lot more interesting.

Avengers Tower in Ruins

Remember what I said about exploring dystopian futures? This frame gives us our strongest indication that that is a tangible possibility.

Here, stands alone in what is presumed to be Central Park. Around him are jagged ruins of collapsed skyscrapers, complete with overgrown grass indicating that some time has passed since this destruction occurred. Still standing somewhat upright in the skyline is none other than the Avengers Tower in rough shape.

These ruins likely take place some time after Avengers: Age of Ultron, considering the famous Marvel tower has a closer resemblance to its Avengers' style than its original Stark model. Could this be a future where Thanos wins, and humanity gives up on solving it? Or better yet, what if this is Ultron's success story?

Clean-Cut Loki

A suit and sunglassed Loki boards an aircraft looking a lot more like Tom Hiddleston than the God of Mischief we're used to.

Loki is likely undercover here, or at least does not want to be recognized. From here, he jumps out of the plane, calling for Heimdall to time the Bifrost just right to prevent him from falling to his death, like Black Widow (too soon?).

His appearance resembles that of D.B. Cooper, a mysterious man that held a plane hostage, took its passengers' money, and leaped from the plane, never to be found. Could Loki be placing himself in key historical moments?

It is unclear if Idris Elba will return as the Bifrost's gatekeeper in the series, but it is worth noting that Elba has expressed interest in portraying Heimdall again.

Vote for Loki

The final shot of the trailer features a suited up Loki complete with a new horned crown and a 'LOKI FOR PRESIDENT' pin.

The God of Mischief is joined by armed warriors from different time periods, who quickly turn their weapons to the titular character. It is possible that Loki has been gathering some form of an army every instance that he travels through time, and this is the band of misfits he came up with.

Let's talk about that presidential pin!

It remains to be seen whether or not Loki is running a legitimate campaign or if the pin is just for show, but sign me up for an alternate future that sees Loki in the oval office.

While we covered as much as we caught, there's always more information to be found. Speculation has run wild about a possible Black Widow appearance in the trailer, and new findings are surfacing seemingly by the minute.

Loki is set to stream on Disney+ in May 2021.

x

[seriousfic]

Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman. 

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old. 

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

[vvorldtours]

noir max gijinka stuff

chance encounters + investigations

(more under the cut | click for better quality)

AUGHo. okay time for max rant time. anyways um. okay so it’s a lot since it is so incredibly self indulgent and this is mostly what i think for noir max + how i designed his gijinka so get ready because im gonna copy paste most of this from twitter

so to start the plot is essentially the same; max still has psychic powers skunkape is after them etc etc. it's up until the ending of the tomb of sammunmak where its max that leaves for the bathroom get a snack etc. so essentially what would have happened to max is what happens to sam instead. his brain gets stolen and its what becomes skunkapes bargainning chip in order to get max's brain. essentially what differs is that he mildly mentions that he did steal the brain by just leaving a half-assed note that ends up forgetting to describe where he wants to bargain for max’s brain, forcing max to go through his noir sequence.  

so in the way that noir sam is a direct contrast [to how he normally is] so is max. he's quieter but his aura is much more menancing that shrouds the fact he’s genuinely just distressed. his words are a lot more careful but equally venomous. he's still relatively impulsive but it doesn't show as much as noir sam's does. if anything he's just desperate. i think one of the kay factors that made noir sam, noir is the fact that he didn't know max was alive. a lot of his noir qualities left when he learned he was still alive so the same has to be for max. it's a little bit harder because of the necessity that sam is skunkapes way to sort of black mailing max but he does threaten to destroy it which is what forces max to work more carefully.

max tends to be his worst enemy when he goes noir so it ends up where he’s more self-destructive to contrast how sam’s destruction is taken out on others in his noir sequence. personally i don’t think that max would be the one who would start lashing out at everyone when sam’s brain gets stolen but i do think that his threats are a lot more genuine and straight-forward.

as for his gijinka design, sam’s is mostly the same but it’s because max’s gijinka design was based off of how noir sam looked. so then i did the same thing for max where i based his noir design off of sam’s regular design so that they had similar contrasts while still having connections to one another. the main memorabilia max has is the watch max gave him in the cartoon and was one of the first instances max was forced to work without sam so it’s callback to that. he typically wouldn’t wear it before but he did keep it around and he never really put it on until he goes noir so it’s a reminder that he did once and he could do it again. the other memorabilia of sam he has is his jacket, tie, and his revolver and so here’s some more mildly copy-pasted stuff

also i can’t remember who made the first noir max design but i really like him keeping the tie around his arm so i put that in as well. actually if you know who did it please lmk your brain is huge and i genuinely like that so much but the purpose of that here is that he tends to tug on it sort of as a comfort source.

he keeps sam's jacket as well though he never puts it on himself since it's too oversized and would get in the way of things. he keeps it on his shoulders mostly sort of like a shroud for himself and symbolic of sam watching over him or something. im not gonna get too deep into it because this is already way too cheesy but you get the point

anyways. so the thing about sam's revolver is that it's specially made for him. his hands are larger than max's so the grip on it was custom made for him. the speculation is that his gun is a smith and wesson revolver and that the model is one of the strongest ones at the time and even though its relatively dull and there wasn't any further pay to adding gravings or anything. it has its scratches here and there and most of all it was sam's, which is the most important aspect to max. it's definitely higher caliber than max's and packs a heavier punch than what max’s gun can actually do. so max gets sam's revolver. like i said, the grip was meant for sam and max's hands being considerably smaller its harder for him to actually handle. still he uses it for its power and it's a reminder that despite all of max's current vulnerabilities he's still very well dangerous in a much more controlled and deadlier way.

okay so like i said this was all copypasted from twitter and im running behind schedule so i can’t proofread it and also the first picture was the idea of noir sam and noir max meeting each other okay im done punches wall

[sperenity]

Inanimate Insanity Episode 14 Analysis

SPOILERS GALORE!

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Okay.

This episode was nuts. I mean, need I say that I was expecting it? I knew the egg was going to reveal itself since it was cracking, but I thought there was something in there, not some being that happened to be the egg itself.

The opening. Oh, the opening. I was seriously impressed. It hooked me to watch more of it. I really liked the black-and-white effects as well as the ominous tone put on it.

I was also surprised to see Fan have a role in the episode, and it was refreshing to hear some of the eliminated contestants’ voices again. For a moment, I thought the eliminated contestants were going to exit the hotel and watch the show or something.

Seeing MePhone4 acting outside of his role as the host was thrilling as well, especially that he nearly discontinued the show. 

Inanimate Insanity could have ended right there.

Oh, and MePad’s resignment was a shocker too.

I thought that Test Tube was going absolutely crazy here, which probably is true anyway. Her usefulness has reached a peak and she is riding the wave. I was also surprised to see how Fan suddenly appeared to take the egg back, and the contestants shared the same reaction as mine, too. Nice attention to detail! It was cute that the egg stopped “crying” once Fan interacted. I thought Fan was recognized as the father here.

When MePhone4 glitch-generated a Living Room set, I thought that somebody was going to be there, but I was also confused when he generated random things later, too. But as of writing this, I realized the sounds were not only the eggs’ way of calling their mothership, but also likely a defense mechanism against Cobs’ creations, and MePhone4 is one of them. Yet MePad was unaffected. Perhaps Cobs upgraded their hardware?

Suitcase’s depiction of her anxiety was also neat. The minimalist flashing as the crack grew. That was neat. I thought her snapping back at Test Tube was a symptom of it, considering her sudden defensive stance.

The fight with the spaceship was absolutely epic. MePhone4′s quick wit, his command to the contestants to save Fan (Though I think it’s to save himself from lawsuits once again), and Test Tube’s Tazer-powered Telescope Bazooka against the ship was absolutely wicked. Also, I just realized that the reason Cobs asked for a spaceship from MePhone4 is so Cobs could go after them.

The update of the dock from Kick The Bucket was absolutely glorious as well. I really liked the detail, it was almost serene.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Taco already ambush and incapacitate MePad in the background while Microphone was talking. And finding out later that Mic’s speech was in-sync with what Taco is doing.

When I saw the Egg’s transformation, I was anticipating the moment that whatever was inside was going to come out. I even thought the eyes were glowing from the darkness inside until I saw hovering. Then, I was confused. Utterly confused about what the ex-egg was. I thought Fan would possibly be imprinted as the father of what turned out to be an actual being as well. When Fan was bound by chains, I certainly thought the leader was going to send him to his death (even if he did anyway, MePhone4 would recover him.)

Then, Test Tube intervened.

The alien species (which are referred to as The Shimmers), then told their backstory of the “oppressor” (which was what I wasn’t expecting, honestly, but flashbacks from Theft and Battery ensued). At first, I didn’t know that the presentation on The leader Shimmer’s face was a depiction of the MePhones 1 through 3GS (I later realized that Steve Cobs may have discarded 3GS with the intent to destroy which was why it was so scared the previous episode).

Fan interacts with the Baby Shimmer, the group shares a laugh, a wholesome moment there...

Then, Test Tube explodes and Taco’s reflection is shown (I later find out she and Mic teleported to the ship). It was like an epic moment where the spy from an action movie shows off their tricks. Then, I thought the ship flew away with the group inside before I remembered Taco using Mepad for teleportation. 

When Microphone came with Fan... It was a sight to see MePhone4 acting all excited for the first time in quite a while. Also, I did NOT expect Microphone to retaliate against Taco by mentioning Taco’s history with Pickle, then ultimately quitting the alliance by shutting her out. What a way to go there, and what an arc. I wonder what’s gonna happen next with Taco. Will she ever be found out?

Then, the elimination. Honestly, at this point, I wasn’t expecting an elimination to happen considering how far off the show’s original format has gone. It was cool to see that it still retains its original flair. Imagine my surprise when I saw Microphone willfully choose herself to be eliminated. Does this even make II the same? Yes. But, actually, no? Honestly, I was somewhat relieved that there ended up being a double elimination. I think it suggests a deeper tension in the show’s coming climax.

Then, Lightbulb’s goodbye. Oh, that scene. That actually made me feel. Over many episodes, Lightbulb was the comic relief that everyone loved. She joked with her friends, especially with Paintbrush. Now, all her friends are eliminated. I wonder if that means her comic relief arc is over. If it isn’t, what else is there? For now, she’s gonna have to cope with her reality of being a finalist.

After the credits scene, in which I thought the music was pretty catchy (especially in contrast to the past episode’s more ominous tone), I was happy to see Toilet appear again. I had been so focused on what was happening that I actually forgot about him. Then, the crashed ship.

Then, MePhoneX.

I felt chills when I saw him. Adam was doing a great job making each design more advanced and intimidating than the previous, but this one is through the roof. I was not expecting another MePhone installment to happen. Should I even call this a running gag, or is this one actually so intimidating that it doesn’t constitute to humor at all? I thought I was going to leave a bit empty, but this one made me think the wait for the next episode is going to be worth it.

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CONCLUSION/THEORIES

The relevation of the egg was certainly a surprise, much less expecting. However, I am a little disappointed that there was nothing inside the egg. I liked the buildup from Fan acquiring up to its hatching, but considering the amount of priority that was put into it and not that the egg was used for comic relief, I really expected the relevation to be overly dramatic and possibly change the course of the show or expand the II universe (which it did in both scenarios, but still.). This doesn’t mean that I dislike the direction the show is taking now. It was just such a dramatic change that it makes me feel such a way that doesn’t make me excited but rather makes me sober? I’m not saying the writers made a mistake, I love Inanimate Insanity’s creativity and I’m looking forward for more. It’s just not exactly my cup of tea.

MePhoneX is a creation you do not want to mess around with. It is obvious by now that this one is created by Steve Cobs. The earlier MePhones, except for the last couple, were bent on destroying MePhone4, and it was heavily implied that Cobs sent them out to destroy MePhone4. This creation should be no different. However, MePhoneX is not only sent out to destroy MePhone4, he is sent to destroy the entire reality show and the contestants with it, along with going after The Shimmers. If MePhoneX doesn’t destroy 4, he might force him to create a spaceship and enslave the contestants, including the former ones from Hotel OJ, to aid in Cobs’ capture of The Shimmers. Also, everyone’s assumed that the MePhones get dumber with each installment, but I believe that this X installment is one above all. It is designed in such a way that exceeds every preceding generation. In other words, this one is not stupid.

Also, I have noticed that this show still has its BFDI inspirations. The shaking, the loopy mannerisms, and the unexpected humor is, to me, a callback to the witty and eccentric humor that is shown consistently throughout the Huang twins’ show.

Overall, this show is taking a turn. I am actually enthralled that it still hasn’t let up. Especially after my departure from the OSC and coming back. I now eagerly wait for the next episode even if it’s going to take months.

UPDATES: I also realized that MePhone4 is beginning to have a personal connection to the contestants. What if his cruel tactics shown in season 1 and 2 are a result of his trauma with Cobs? I don’t know if he ever will, but considering his backstory, I can’t help but imagine that MePhone4 is actually moving forward.

Also, there was almost no frustration evident in Taco’s reaction to her plan failing. It was full of emotional surprise. Did she ever see Microphone as a friend rather than an “ally”?

I can’t get it out of my head that MePhone4 still has 4S’ model after the finale of season 1. I really hope the writers don’t throw him away. It’s confusing to know that MePhone4 has 4S’ model and still have the kind of Gemories that 4 had in his original model.