#since that's pretty much his entire schtick as a character SINCE season 1

[augustjustice]

I sometimes see takes of mean girl Steve making some snide remark to Eddie and that leading to tension between them, but while I do think the possibility of Steve going too far is definitely on the table, I just...don’t really see that leading to fights at the point where Steve and Eddie are friends the way they are by the end of season 4? Besides the fact that Eddie seems to like snarky Steve and encourage it when it’s directed at other characters--because Eddie is a little shit too--the big thing that I think would prevent it from becoming a problem is that almost every time we’ve seen Steve cross a line on screen, he apologizes, if not immediately in the moment (usually) within, like...the next 48 hours.

If anything, I think a “problem” that might crop up once Steve and Eddie’s relationship becomes romantic is Steve apologizing too much, sometimes when he isn’t even sure what he’s done wrong. And that might lead to the usual conflict--that Steve doesn’t recognize the problem of what he did in the first place--but I also think Steve might sometimes apologize because he thinks he’s supposed to, even when he actually hasn’t done anything at all and Eddie is just...irritated about something else altogether.

(Which, for some sweet hurt/comfort, I do think would lead to a conversation between Eddie and Steve about how Steve isn’t responsible for apologizing, taking the blame, or trying to “fix” things just because Eddie is in a bad mood or something.)

[seriouslycromulent]

So I finally got around to watching The Librarians ...

After I finished the second half of the latest season of Leverage (aka Leverage: Redemption), I felt the urge to watch something else with the same energy. And what has the same energy of Leverage? Well, The Librarians ... duh.

Now, to be fair. I've tried to get into The Librarians in the past, but I could never make it past the first 3 episodes. Seriously, I've tried to start this series no less than 3 times, and I just kept giving up on it.

Why? Because I found most of the characters too annoying to enjoy it. Mainly Ezekiel, Cassandra and Flynn. And although I know that it takes time for actors to settle into their characters, and begin the journey of growth and change that comes with a solid character arc, I couldn't bring myself to keep watching.

So what changed my mind this time?

Easy. I didn't bother watching the first 3 episodes. 😉 Since I already knew who the characters were, and vaguely recalled how everyone got together, I thought I would just dive in and see how it would go from there.

And it worked! Most of the cast still got on my nerves for the first half of the first season, but it wasn't too long before they started to grow on me -- especially Jenkins.

In true "me" fashion, my favorite character easily became Jenkins / Sir Galahad, and most of my favorite scenes and episodes involve him. But more on him later.

Anyway, that's not to say their aren't plenty of other things I love about the show now. I'm not sure if there is common denominator among my favorite episodes, but here they are and a wee reason about why they're one of my favorite episodes:

... And the Fatal Separation (s3, ep9) Why? -- Three words: Ernie. Reyes. Jr. That's it. That's the reason this episode is on my list. And it's enough. Granted, I don't believe that Christian Kane could last more than 10 seconds in a real fight with Ernie, but the fact that he was the main guest star and was clearly having a great time made me really love this episode. Plus, how hot were Cassandra and Ezekiel posing as black market traders? Their hair and clothes made me want to see them in those roles again in the future.

... And the Reunion of Evil (s3, ep3) Why? -- I pretty much loved this entire episode from start to finish. I loved the conflict, the "creatures of the week," and the development it gave for Jake and Cassie's relationship. It did a wonderful job of balancing humor and drama, and of course, it was just really well executed because ... Jonathan Frakes directed it.

... And the Silver Screen (s4, ep4) Why? -- I know we're meant to love the whole film noir schtick involving Flynn and Baird, but I actually adored this episode for 2 reasons: 1) the rest of the team moving from film genre to film genre in order to help their teammates was funny as hell, and 2) Jenkins working with guest star Gloria Reuben to solve the real mystery on their end. I thought they had great chemistry together, and it made me want to see them interact with each other again in the future. I know that's not possible, but John Larroquette is just so great at creating chemistry with pretty much anyone.

... And the Christmas Thief (s4, ep3) Why? -- Wait. We get Ezekiel backstory *and* Steven Weber as an over-the-top villain of the week? Of course this episode is making my list of favorites! Granted, I'm not a big fan of the Christmas holiday personally, so it also gelled with me in that respect (aka steering clear of how "great" the holiday is), but more so I'm a huge fan of Steven Weber and I think he's an incredibly under-appreciated actor. (Plus, have you ever heard him sing? Check out the remake/spoof of Reefer Madness with Kristen Bell when you get a chance. You will not be disappointed.) And that speech that Ezekiel delivers to his mother about why he stole and how he's an artist, so he didn't care about keeping any of the stuff he stole. ::chef's kiss::

... And the Hidden Sanctuary (s4, ep8) Why? -- I think what I love most about this episode is the idea of Cassandra working alongside the little boy to solve the mystery as to why the town never has any accidents and seems so perfect. Usually it's Cassandra who would be the first to notice something is off, but it took the little boy to bring it to her attention. Which in a way reveals how the curiosity of youth is still as valuable as any other form of intelligence. Adding to that, a part of me wanted the town's councilman to get what was coming to him for trapping a fae. If you know absolutely nothing about the occult, witchcraft or ancient faiths, know one thing: Don't f*ck with the fae. I was ready for her to get her revenge, and I can't say that I blamed her at all. Seriously, kids. DFWTF.

... And the Happily Ever Afters (s2, ep9) Why? -- OK. I don't know what I love about this one. It's the precursor to the season finale, but I kind of wish they had stayed in this alternate reality for a little while longer. It was just so cute to see how each team member was living their idealized lives, but also working together as a team without even questioning it. Yeah, yeah, I wanted them to stop Prospero too, but I also wanted to see them go about these AU lives for a little while longer. Plus, I really liked David S. Lee's Moriarty. So much so that I was actually rooting for him and "Duchess" to stay together instead of her being in a relationship with Flynn. I thought Rebecca and David had more chemistry than Rebecca and Noah, frankly. But either way, I really liked this episode for pretty shallow reasons. I thought the resolution was a little too cheesy (the part about claiming your other/real life to the totem pole), but overall, it didn't take away from what I liked the most. Also, Christian Kane runs kinda funny. :-P

... And Some Dude Named Jeff (s4, ep10) Why? -- This is my absolute favorite episode of the entire series, and it bugs me that it's the 3rd to last episode of the entire series. It's like the writers gave me what I wanted most -- a Jenkins-focused episode -- and then said, "That's a wrap!" Sure, all good things must ... you know the rest. Then, I found out that Lindy Booth directed this episode, and now I love it even more. It really was perfection from start to finish, and we got to see John Larroquette do what he does best: Steal. The. Mother. F*ckin'. Show. He was hilarious at just the right moments; angsty and forlorn in just the right measure; and sincere and charming in just the right way. Granted, the villain seemed more scary in absentia than he did when he finally appeared on screen, but who cares? This was all about Jenkins ... and some dude named Jeff.

OK. I think that's all I have for this post. It's already hella-long. I thought I was going to share my top 10 favorite episodes, but it turns out the other 3 were really just ones I liked in terms of quality and execution, but I don't think I'll re-watch them over and over again like I would these 7 episodes I listed above. That, or I really just like those other 3 faves because of the scenes with Jenkins.

Alright, I'll leave dear readers be. But don't be surprised if I suddenly start reblogging a lot of old memes and posts about the show, especially ones that focused on Jenkins/Sir Galahad.

And probably an entire post gushing over Jenkins and John Larroquette in general. So yeah, watch this space.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Lost Tomb Reboot Lewks: Part 13

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for both seasons of The Lost Tomb Reboot and also vaguely for Daomu Biji in general

Look 66 belongs to Ah Ning, who has chosen, for this adaptation, to go with short hair, heavy makeup, and all-black clothes, but with a bit of a club vibe, rather than her more usual tactical vibe. 

The short hair is a weird choice. The whole schtick with DMBJ adaptations is that you have to tell who's who by their costuming and styling, since the associated actors toss roles back and forth faster than Wu Xie and Xiao Ge on a date with Liu Sang. 

Hot guy in a hoodie? Xiao Ge. Slightly dorky but ridiculously charismatic guy who dresses like Joey Ramone? Hei Yanjing. Man who's too old for fluffy bangs and puppy-dog eyes but is working the hell out of them anyway? Wu Xie. Ponytail, gun, and a whole bunch of disposable sidekicks? Ah Ning.

Ah Ning, Lost Tomb 1 version, with her signature ponytail & disregard for human life.

For this look, Ah Ning has gotten rid of her long hair, henchmen, weapons, and the part of her shirt that normally would cover her belly. This is an outfit that says "I am finally ready to fuck Wu Xie." 

Unfortunately she decides to accessorize this outfit with a giant deadly snake. 

This snake, unlike the equivalent snake in uhhhhhmmm a different DMBJ show that Ah Ning might theoretically die in, does not appear to be poisonous or have an unusual instant-kill-you ability. It just squeezes her a little bit, and the boys don't make any attempt to revive her, even though not-breathing is a super survivable condition, if it's corrected quickly. 

This non-poisonous snake accessory is all about killing a woman so that men can feel manpain, and I am kind of offended that this version of Ah Ning went out like that, after being a badass in every other adaptation. 

(more after the cut!) 

The hypothetical other show where a version of this scene perhaps also happens does correct this, by having her talk about her acceptance of the risk of death, and by having the fucking snake be POISONOUS. I am not naming the show because where’s the fun in that? If you watch TLTR first, like I did, you get to be worried about Ah Ning in every other show she’s in, which is exhausting but also kind of fun. (I don’t mind women dying in fiction, as long as their deaths are an important part of their own stories, rather than just being important for the growth of the men around them.)

Thanks to poor accessory choices, Ah Ning and her snake necklace go the same route as Ye Piaopiao and No-Longer-Mute Chick; fortunately Xiao Ge didn't fall for Tattoo Artist Ah Tou or she'd be in the morgue with the rest of them.

Look 67 is young Wu Xie's jungle adventure outfit, featuring a bright white popover jacket with cream color sleeves from Scotch & Soda’s Club Nomade collection. Scotch & Soda have have thoughtfully printed their name on the string so that those of you who share Wu Xie's clothing tastes will know where to shop. You know who you are. 

You would think highly visible bright white would be a bad choice for a jungle adventure, but apparently snakes in these parts are only attracted to goths.

Wu Xie is also wearing wired ear pods, which did not exist whenever this flashback supposedly happened, but if we're cool with sentient crustaceans and clams that can incapacitate a ruthless trained assassin (clams got legs!), we can be cool with ear pods.

The show conveys flashback-Wu-Xie's youth and naiveté by having him smile sweetly, not watch Ah Ning take her clothes off, and not attempt CPR after she gets lightly squeezed by a snake.

Looks 68 and 69 belong to Not Ah Ning, who is played by Liu Yuqi, who also plays Ah Ning. Her makeup is much softer and prettier as this character than as Ah Ning; this character’s job is to be pleasing to men, whereas Ah Ning’s job is to get male underlings killed on the regular, so I guess that makes sense. 

This outfit is an amazing body-hugging soft green jumpsuit with raised quilty detailing on the arms and shoulders. Her jumpsuit perfectly matches the couch she's sprawled on, which is her subtle way of telling Jiang Zisuan that she is a nice comfy place to have a lie down. 

She accessorizes this look with her usual soft wavy brown hair and a scattering of gold finger rings. I think she also accessorizes this with ass pads, because Ah Ning does not appear to be draggin’ this wagon in her scenes. I checked. For science.  

When the first outfit doesn't work, she ditches the subtlety and goes for a Chanel-style suit in black, white, and red, with a with a black leather bustier underneath. 

Unfortunately this is a wasted effort, because the Jiang Zisuan she tries this on is actually Wu Xie in disguise. 

Wu Xie only likes girls if they are 1. secretly manipulating him while acting like a tiny adorable sidekick, 2. trying to kill him repeatedly while adventuring together, 3. planning to kill him as soon as the roads are clear but willing to bone in the meantime, or 4. are a skin effigy with a sentient crustacean in their head.

Sorry, Not Ah Ning; this was a good effort. 

Look 70 features Wu Xie in a white thermal shirt, dark blue jeans, and fake facial hair. This is a good look for sitting with your not-quite girlfriend and wondering how you both managed to have romances with Bai Yu in parallel universes. (OP recently watched Love O2O, which is a trip for fans of DMBJ, Guardian, or feminism)

Fortunately Wu Xie doesn’t know that his second-favorite doctor/Zhan Rishan’s girlfriend also had a romance with Bai Yu or his mind would be entirely blown. 

This is a soft, comfortable look, perfect for torturing someone, with help from your first-favorite doctor, by pretending to poison someone with nicotine, all so you can have a few moments of quality time with a cigarette before said doctor takes them away again. 

Wu Xie's cigs are stored in a buttery-soft leather case that completely covers the brand name of the cigarettes, so apparently cdramas don’t go in for ciggy product placements. 

Wo Xie wears this outfit with a silvery-metal watch with a black leather wrist strap. The watch appears to be round, and it probably tells time. (If you’re new to the Lewks series: I lack watch knowledge and that’s not likely to change.)

Wu Xie finally peels off his fake facial hair so we can see his pretty face again, only to replace the facial hair with an entire fake face. Fortunately, this face, belonging to actor Wu Lipeng, is also pretty. 

Look 71 belongs to Wu Xie, initially (for this outfit) played by Wu Lipeng until his inevitable unmasking. So many actors have played Wu Xie, this whole disguise thing is barely worth blinking at. Wu Lipeng does a nice job changing his mannerisms to play Wu Xie, and this whole schtick eventually gives us Zhu Yilong's delightful performance as Wang Meng, so even though we eventually get way too much of not-Zhu-Yilong in the role, I’m good with it.

This outfit features black jeans, black tactical boots & gloves, and Ah Ning’s coin bracelet, although it’s mostly hard to see the bracelet. The outfit’s main feature is a possibly-leather jacket that’s been molded into a hideous and disturbing voronoi pattern. 

This jacket is probably very expensive and took a lot of work to craft, but it makes him look  like he’s wearing a Glad Force Flex garbage bag. I mean, I guess that's cool. 

This outfit is good for several episodes worth of adventures, including getting tied up and being sassy...

...and underwater cave exploration, which is totally a thing that a person with critically damaged lungs can do.  

This outfit is good for homoerotic wrestling...

...and also for heteroerotic wrestling.

This is also a good outfit for being gently cradled in the arms of your doctor, while you massage your throat in order to swallow what he's putting in your mouth.

The fingerless gloves are useful for helping Xiao Bai get out of not one, but two different situations in which she stepped on a trap without realizing it, requiring Wu Xie to get down on the ground and have a tense encounter with her foot. 

Scenes like this are where costuming really makes a difference. In this shot, we we watch a stunt hand (Zhu Yilong has never had that long of a thumbnail in his life) hold a wire steady, while a stunt foot is pulled out from under it.  

This shot includes a lot of visual texture and interest, from the hatch lines on the palm of the glove to the cross-striping of the boot lace. The complexity of this glove and this boot help to hold our attention when they’re in the frame, allowing the tension of the scene to build, instead of dissipating when the viewer runs out of things to look at.

Bonus Look 1

Carrying all that tragic baggage has given Jiang Zisuan spectacular arm muscles.

Bonus Look 2

Zhu Yilong with not-fake facial hair. 

Daaaaaamn.

[crusherthedoctor]

Can you list anything you unironically like in the games (and cartoons and comics) that you don't like?

I won't bother mentioning music, since that goes without saying and is to be expected for a Sonic game... unless you're Chronicles.

Sonic Adventure 2 (mixed gameplay-wise, annoying story-wise) - While I prefer Sonic's SA1 levels for a number of reasons, I still think his and Shadow's gameplay in SA2 is fun on its own merit. I also don't mind the treasure hunting gameplay returning or how big the levels are this time around, since Knuckles and Rouge are still fast and not '06 levels of slow. It's mainly the gimped radar that creates the unfortunate domino effect of making them a problem.

- Introduced Rouge, one of my favourite characters for how playful she is and how she's a lot more nuanced and intelligent than you'd expect.

- Some genuinely good scenes, like Eggman's trap on the A.R.K and Sonic escaping from the G.U.N. helicopter.

- Had some good ideas going for it, like the Pyramid Base and the Biolizard as a scientific monster instead of an ancient one.

- Despite my thoughts on the backstory itself (or rather, its execution), Shadow has enough depth and subtle qualities and occasional unintended hilarity to stand out from the typical dark rival characters you see in media.

- The Last Scene's music in particular is one of my favourite cutscene tracks in the series.

Sonic Heroes (mixed gameplay-wise, loathed story-wise) - The gameplay is fun when you're not being screwed over by repetitive combat, overly long levels and/or ice physics.

- Boasts some of the most consistently Genesis-worthy environments in the 3D games, up there with SA1's and Colours'.

- The in-game dialogue that isn't the same tutorial drivel repeated ad nauseam can be interesting, funny, etc.

- Reintroduced the Chaotix, which provided me with another character I quite like in the form of Vector.

- Bringing Metal Sonic back in full force and front and center in the plot after a long absence (not counting cameos and the like) is a perfectly fine idea. Just... not like this.

Sonic Battle (decent yet repetitive gameplay, mixed story-wise) - Emerl's arc is compelling, and it earns the emotional weight of having to put him down at the end.

- While some characters are iffy (read: Amy), other characters are extremely well-handled. Shadow is probably the prime example.

- Gamma's belly dance healing animation is fucking hilarious.

- When I was young, and the game was first announced, I was really excited about being able to play as Chaos. This proved to be my downfall when it turned out he was arguably one of the worst characters in the game due to being slower than me during the writing process, but I still recall that excitement fondly.

Shadow the Hedgehog (comedy classic) - The sheer amount of legendary stupidity this game has going for it makes it practically impossible to actually hate. It helps that it's not quite as white-knighted on the same level as '06... usually. You know you're in for a unique experience when you hear a gunshot every time you click something in the menu.

- By extension, Black Doom never gained an unironic fanbase like Mephiles/Scourge/Eggman Nega did, which means I'm a lot more willing to take Doom's dumbass brand of villainy in stride. He even has a unique design... a terrible one that rips off Wizeman granted, but alas, even that is a step-up from Fridge Shadow and Bumblebee Eggman.

- Despite being... well, Shadow the Hedgehog, some of the environments would fit right in with any other Sonic game, like with Circus Park, Lava Shelter, and Digital Circuit. Even the Black Comet levels look pretty cool.

- This game understands amnesia better than IDW does.

Sonic '06 (what do you think?) - The obvious one: Shadow's character was handled pretty well, even if it came at the cost of everyone else being a dummy and being forced to interact with Mephiles.

- Like SA2, there are some good moments, like the Last Story ending sequence with Sonic and Elise.

- In the greatest form of irony ever, I like Solaris as a concept and design(s), and its backstory has potential to serve as a parallel with Chaos without being a complete ripoff. Iblis sucks, Mephiles sucks, but I'm fine with Solaris.

- Introduced legendary characters like Sonic Man, Pele the Beloved Dog, Hatsun the Pigeon, and Pacha from The Emperor's New Groove.

The Rivals duology (apathetic outside of Nega-related grumbling) - There were some cool zone ideas in both games that were sadly let down by the restrictive and limiting gameplay. I particularly like Colosseum Highway for thus far being the only full-on Roman level in the series instead of merely having a couple minor hints of Roman, and Meteor Base for the unique scenario of the space station being built into an asteroid. These level concepts and others deserve a second chance IMO. (At least Frontier Canyon got a second chance in the form of Mirage Saloon, amirite?)

- Ifrit has a better design than Iblis. Not saying it's amazing, but the Firebird motif it has going on is a lot more interesting for a fire monster than the Not-Chaos schtick they had with Iblis.

Sonic and the Secret Rings (a very frustrating gaming experience) - Erazor Djinn, A.K.A. Qui-Gon Djinn, A.K.A. Dr. N. Djinn, A.K.A. I'll Take It On The Djinn, A.K.A. Not From The Hairs On My Djinny Djinn Djinn, is one of the best villains not associated with Eggman in the series. He's a Mephiles-type character done right, and there's actual weight and reason to his actions, however sinister or petty.

- I don't have strong opinions either way on Shahra as a character, but the Sonic/Shahra friendship is sweet and well-handled.

- The ending is one of Sonic's greatest moments. The sheer contrast between how ruthlessly he deals with Erazor and how comforting he is towards Shahra speaks volumes... Still gonna make fun of the mountain of handkerchiefs though. (Before anyone lectures me, I understand the significance of it and can even appreciate it from that angle... doesn't mean I'm not allowed to poke fun at it. :P)

- Another game with some redeeming environments. I love the aesthetic of Night Palace, and Sand Oasis looks gorgeous too.

Sonic Chronicles (my personal least favourite game in the series) - Uh...

- Um...

- Er...

- I like Shade's design?

Sonic Unleashed (overrated game and story IMO) - The obvious two: the opening sequence and the Egg Dragoon fight deserve all the praise they get.

- Seeing Eggmanland come to life was an impressive moment to be sure. While part of me does feel it didn't quite measure up to what I had in mind (ironically, the Interstellar Amusement Park ended up being closer to what I had in mind), it still looks badass and works well for what it is. I also don't mind the idea of it being a one-level gauntlet... key word being idea.

- Obviously, the game looks great. Not a fan of the real world focus (real world inspiration is fine, but copy-pasting the real world and shoving loops in it is just unimaginative), but it can't be denied that the environments look good.

- This game pulled off dialogue options a lot better than Chronicles did, since they didn't rely on making Sonic OoC.

Sonic and the Black Knight (just kind of boring all around) - Despite my gripes with the story (Merlina wasn't nearly as fleshed out as her unique anti-villain status deserved, which ends up severely undermining the ambition of the plot in more ways than one, and the other characters go from being useless yes men for King Arthur to being useless yes men for Sonic), I will admit it provides interesting insight into Sonic's character.

- Like '06 and Secret Rings, the ending is very nice... well, aside from Amy being an unreasonable bitch ala Sonic X at the very end.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (apathetic) - The admittedly few new concepts sprinkled within had promise. They may not have been as fleshed out as they could have been, but level concepts like Sylvania Castle and White Park, bosses like Egg Serpentleaf and the Egg Heart, and story beats like the Death Egg mk.II being powered by Little Planet, all could have been brilliant had they been better executed.

SatAM (apathetic outside of SatAM Robotnik-related grumbling) - I'm not a fan of the environments on the whole due to them looking too bland or samey, but there are some exceptions that look pleasant or interesting, like the Void.

Sonic Underground (apathetic) - The character designs make me feel better about myself.

- Does "large quantities of unintentional meme material" count as a positive?

Sonic X (mostly apathetic outside of Eggman's handling) - Helen was a better human character and audience surrogate in her one focus episode than Chris was throughout his entire runtime.

- Actually, most of the human characters not named Chris were legitimately likable. Including everyone in Chris' own family not named Chris. Hilarious.

- Despite arguably having the most Chris in it, I actually don't mind the first season that much, partly due to slight nostalgia from seeing it on TV when it was new, but mostly because Eggman actually acted like a villain for the most part, and certain other characters weren't quite as flanderized yet. It's season 2 and onwards where things started going off the rails IMO. (Incidentally, Helen's episode was part of season 1...)

The Boom franchise (apathetic) - Along with Chronicles, the games provide yet more proof that just because someone isn't SEGA/Sonic Team, that doesn't mean they're automatically more qualified to handle the series.

- The show had some good episodes here and there, and Tails' characterization was probably the most consistently on-point out of the cast.

- Despite not exactly being favourite portrayals for either character, even I'll admit that many of Knuckles and Eggman's lines in the show on their own were genuinely funny.

Archie Sonic (pre-reboot is mostly terrible, post-reboot is mostly... bland) - Whenever I doubt myself as a writer, I think back to Ken Penders, and suddenly I'm filled with a lot more confidence.

Sonic the Comic (apathetic) - Fleetway isn't a comic I tend to recall much of aside from how much of a loathesome cunt Sonic is, but IIRC, Robotnik's portrayal is pretty good. Different, but good.

IDW Sonic (stop pissing me off, comic) - Putting their handling aside (and being too obviously "inspired" by MGS in the latter's case), Tangle and Whisper are good characters IMO.

- Same goes for Starline, before he was killed off-screen and replaced with Toothpaste Snively.

- Execution aside (noticing a pattern?), the zombot virus was a fine concept on its own and an interesting new scheme for Eggman.

- I get to remind myself that I've never drawn scat edits and posted them publicly on Twitter.

[longitudinalwaveme]

The CW Rogues: My Biggest Gripe With the 2014 Flash Show

In many ways, the CW Flash show is what got me into comics. While I had watched (and loved) Justice League and Justice League Unlimited and read loads of DC guidebooks as a kid, it wasn’t until I saw a clip from the 2014 CW Flash show that I really got invested in the DC Universe. While I had already started watching B:TAS (and loving it), Batman wasn’t what got me into comics. No, that was the Flash...or rather, it was Captain Cold. While watching a clip from the Justice League episode Flash and Substance on YouTube, I saw a link to a clip from “Family of Rogues” (from Season 2 of CW’s Flash). Intrigued by the premise, I found the show on Netflix, watched the entire episode, and was hooked. Not only was the Flash just as nice as he had been on Justice League, but two of his Rogues were siblings, and they actually cared about one another. I wanted to know more, so I looked Captain Cold and the Golden Glider up. My research into Cold and Glider led me to the other Rogues, and soon I became a Flash fan. I watched the show, I re-watched “Flash and Substance”, I read articles about the characters from the comics...and eventually, I started reading the comics themselves. I loved the characters and the lore, and I enjoyed the generally lighthearted tone of the books even into the modern era. Unfortunately, as I learned more about the comics, I grew less and less interested in the 2014 TV show. It made too many alterations to character I liked in the comics...and eventually, I basically stopped watching the show out of frustration. Ironically enough, by getting me into comics, the show alienated me from itself....and a big reason for that was the way it handled the Rogues. Here’s a rundown of the CW Rogues, and why I was frustrated with most of them. 

1. Captain Cold. I actually enjoy Captain Cold on the CW show; he’s recognizable as Len Snart and his sarcasm game is on point. (It doesn’t hurt that Wentworth Miller is really attractive, either). His relationships with Lisa, Mick, and Barry are fantastic, and it’s a relief to have him be treated as a competent threat. That being said...he’s a bit too suave for Captain Cold, isn’t he? Silver Age Cold thought he was suave, but he wasn’t; and modern Captain Cold is middle-aged, grouchy, and very rough around the edges. His smooth, suave nature reminds me more of classic Sam (the original Mirror Master) than Captain Cold. 

2. Heat Wave. Dominic Purcell did a great job with the role he was given, and physically he’s an excellent match for Mick. That being said, CW Mick is very different from the Mick in the classic comics, who was a bit dim-witted and rather gentle and sweet for a supervillain. CW Mick, by contrast, is, as I think @gorogues put it, “Hothead McAngryman”, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to have bled back into the comics themselves. Villains with fire powers being hotheads is a bit overdone, so I’m not thrilled to see comic Mick being put into that role. 

3. Golden Glider. Hands down, Lisa is my favorite of the CW Rogues. Despite the fact that her costume and power set are completely different than they were in the comics, they managed to get her personality down pretty well; making her just as dangerous and competent as the boys. Flirtatious, crafty, devious, and yet still at least somewhat sympathetic, the CW version of Lisa Snart takes home the gold for the best adaptation of a Rogue. If only they hadn’t completely forgotten that she existed. 

4. Pied Piper. Note that I have not seen his Season 6 appearance, so I’m just judging this based on his appearances in Seasons 1 and 2. Piper is disappointing; in his first appearance he wasn’t as fun as Silver/Bronze Age Piper or as sympathetic as modern Piper, and I’m not crazy about the idea of him being motivated primarily by revenge on Wells/Thawne, since that wasn’t his motivation in the comics at all. I also don’t remember him being able to puppet or hypnotize people with his music, which is too bad, since that’s his main schtick in the comics. What’s more, if you want to reform a character, don’t do it offscreen via reality warping and then forget about him for four seasons. It sounds like his Season 6 appearance was better, but I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment on it. Also, “the Pied Piper” is kind of a nonindicative name if he doesn’t play a pipe/flute. 

5. Trickster II (Axel Walker). Axel was actually decent in the CW show. I still like comic Axel better, but they got the gist of his character down and even made him a bit sympathetic. In fact, he’s probably in the top three best Rogue adaptations that the CW did. 

6. Trickster I (James Jesse). I love watching Mark Hamill play CW’s Trickster...but man, he is not playing Giovanni Giuseppi on the CW show. He’s playing the Joker with a different name. It’s especially weird since we know from JLU and that one short where Mark Hamill plays himself, the Joker, the Trickster, and Swamp Thing that Hamill can do a non-Joker Trickster and do it well, so my suspicion is that it was just because Trickster was also the Joker in the 1990s Flash show (where he was also played by Mark Hamill). Regardless, murdering random people and threatening to blow up small children during Christmas is not something the Trickster should be doing. 

Although this does prove Mark Hamill could do a live-action Joker. I’d pay money to see that. Mark Hamill is a great Joker. 

7. Weather Wizard. CW Weather Wizard isn’t egregiously bad. He’s not out-of-character like Trickster, and he’s not boring to watch, but at the same time it feels like there’s something missing. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t quote Twain. Maybe it’s because there’s not the sense that he was a loser before he got his powers. Maybe it’s because they changed his origin completely (and also made him older than Clyde for some reason). It could even be because he’s not wearing a green leotard with a huge collar, puffy sleeves, and ridiculous elf boots. Whatever it is, though, he’s just missing that spark that makes me like comic book Wizard so much. 

8. Mirror Master I (Sam Scudder). I don’t know how you make Sam Scudder more boring than New 52/Rebirth did, but somehow the CW version of the character pulled it off. Granted, Cold had already stolen some of Sam’s characterization, so that didn’t help, but they could’ve leaned into his skills as an inventor or his love of showmanship or something. Instead, we got a generic thug with what was basically Evan McCulloch’s power set. Boo! Boo I say! 

9. Top (Roscoe/Rosa Dillon). The Brave and the Bold Top is more interesting than the CW version, and he doesn’t even have spoken lines! That’s how boring this Top is. Also, the gender swap was pretty pointless. I wouldn’t have minded a female Top if she’d been intelligent and creepy and snobbish in the way that Roscoe is, but why even bother changing the gender if the character is going to have such a minor role? They also substantially depowered the CW Top, since Rosa can’t spin at super speed and isn’t telekinetic. A massive missed opportunity. 

10. Mirror Master II (Evan/Eva McCulloch). I can’t comment on how good of a character Eva is, since I haven’t watched any of the episodes with her in them, but I will say I am disappointed that the character does not seem to be Scottish, does not have Evan’s weird sense of humor, and lacks his tooth gap. 

11. Captain Boomerang (George “Digger” Harkness). Not only did he not actually appear on the Flash, but he was also boring and didn’t even seem to have an Australian accent. I was very disappointed with his role in the CW. 

And now for characters who aren’t Rogues: 

-CW Eobard is really good. I have no real complaints about him. 

-CW Grodd is also really good, though I do wish he was from Gorilla City as per the comics rather than a lab experiment. 

-CW Magenta got most of the important character beats down but felt a bit out of place with Barry as the Flash. 

-CW Shade was possibly even more boring than CW Sam, which is saying something. 

-CW Zoom didn’t really feel like Zoom at all. Not only was it weird to see him fighting Barry and not Wally, but he was just a generic serial killer and didn’t have Zolomon’s unique outlook on the world. The loss of his time manipulation powers was likewise disappointing.

-CW Jay is really good. I love him. 

-CW Jesse Quick has very little in common with her comic book counterpart; I like the comic version better but don’t actually mind the CW version all that much.

-CW Wally is decent enough, though I don’t see why they couldn’t have kept him as Iris’ nephew rather than making him her brother. Also, they didn’t use him nearly as much as they should have. 

-CW Barry I generally like a lot; Grant Gustin is a good fit for the character. That being said, I do wish they hadn’t given him the dead mom origin, which was a retcon I am not fond of. 

-CW Iris is quite good (in the first three seasons, at least); she’s intelligent, loyal to Barry, dedicated to her job, and quite independent. The fact that she and Barry were foster siblings in the CW universe is kind of weird, though, since it makes their romance kind of awkward. 

-Joe West is not Ira West (Iris’s father in the comics), but I actually don’t care. Joe West is made of awesome. (I like Ira too, but I like Joe enough that I don’t mind having him replace Ira.)

-The Fiddler on the CW had very little to do with the comic Fiddler. 

-I’ve never been particularly invested in the Thinker (comic or show), but I will say that the CW’s version of the character was very different from his comics counterpart. 

-CW Ragdoll was just as creepy and unsettling as comic book Ragdoll, though he had a very different backstory. 

-I never expected Baby Josh to make it into the CW, let alone as a gender-swapped teenager named Joss who wanted to kill Weather Wizard. It felt like they never knew where to go with her character, though, so it was a wasted opportunity. At least she didn’t die like poor Baby Josh, though. 

-Big Sir in the CW show is a MASSIVE improvement over the comic version. This is probably the only character I will say this about. Though I will say that I kind of wish he’d gotten his stupidly ugly comic book costume even though it would’ve made no sense. 

-Peek-a-Boo is a pretty solid adaptation of her comic book counterpart. 

-Rainbow Raider (Prism) is much better in the comics than on the CW show, where he only existed to be a boring plot device. 

-Linda Park dating Barry was weird, but they actually did a good job with her character before she vanished.

This is not intended as a criticism of anyone who likes the show or its characters; it’s just me musing about my personal problems with it. 

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2020 Anime Overview: Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Ok, so let’s get this out of the way first, 1. I adore this story so much and 2. Toilet Bound Hanako-kun has a horrible, horrible English title that is not actually at all representative of the story’s content and I have no idea what happened when it came to the team choosing that name. To the average English-speaking viewer/reader, this name 100% implies gross stuff and bathroom humor, and there is none in this show. 

A Japanese reader on the other hand, would be more likely to recognize the name Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun as a spin on the classic ghost story “Hanako-san of the Toilet” only A BOY THIS TIME WHHHHA?” Basically, the story goes that a girl named Hanako in a red skirt haunts girls’ bathrooms in Japanese schools and if you knock on the third stall and call “Hanako-san” three times, she’ll appear. She might grant you a wish or pull you into Hell or something else, it varies.

(Her Wikipedia image, aww.)

Anyway, I dunno why the English title didn’t at least go with “Toilet Ghost Hanako-kun” or something that would have gotten the premise across even a  little better (HE NOT TECHNICALLY BOUND BY THE TOILET EVEN, HE CAN GO ANYWHERE IN THE SCHOOL GROUNDS THE BATHROOM IS JUST HIS HOME BASE), but our boy Hanako haunting the girl’s bathroom only leads to broad jokes about our heroine being tasked with cleaning the bathroom and “dude you really shouldn’t be in here” comments, it’s pretty incidental. 

Now that THAT’S out of the way, let’s talk about my LOVE FOR THIS STORY

Hanako-kun tells the story of a “regular” high school girl named Nene Yashiro, the mischievous and mysterious school ghost she befriends, and all the other weird monsters, exorcists, spirits and curses they encounter. It’s got a gorgeous, colorful bold aesthetic and art style that combines gothic and cute! It has a great mix of humor, intrigue, angst and fantasy action. basically if you love ghosts, monsters, Japanese mythology and legends, supernatural-human relationships, supernaturally fueled angst and drama, stories about trying to fix an unfair system the world has set up, wistful romance, a good shoujo manga with a Lot of Feelings (yes this is a shonen technically I’ll explain that later), weirdo dorks becoming friends AND MUCH MORE...this story will have something that will resonate with you. It’s got a lot going on, and it’s a ton of fun.

Hanako-kun is really one of those surprising stories that fits right into a hole in my story-loving heart I didn’t realize was still there, or that I’d actually been carrying since childhood. I love ghosts, see, and have since I was a kid!!! I knew this, but I kinda forgot how intensely I love them until this show reminded me again??? That’s because regular ghost stories/mysteries/whatever- I like them, but they don’t quite do it for me in the way more character-driven ones exploring the nature of being a ghost and humans and ghosts trying understand each other etc do. Stuff that really gets into the tragedy AND the fun fantasy aspect of ghosts, and plays the long game with it- and Hanako-kun scratches that itch perfectly.

Getting a little bit deeper into the premise of Hanako-kun, Nene is a very brave and sweet but not-all-that-bright girl (or, to put it more bluntly, she’s an idiot in the best way) who has a lot of romantic fantasies and insecurities and is VERY focused on them. After hearing a rumor at school that “Hanako-san of the bathroom” will grant wishes, she wishes to be able to confess to her crush and finds out its actually a weird ghost boy her age named Hanako haunting the bathroom! A lot of things happen, and she ends up cursed and bound to Hanako-kun, but also ends up slowly forming a friendship. 

Turns out Hanako is the ghost in charge of the “seven mysteries/wonders” aka seven powerful supernatural entities that haunt this school (he’s number seven). These apparitions only supposed to terrorize students a LITTLE, because apparitions need to have rumors spread about them to remain in the human world.

(‘HAVE YOU HEARD?’ Oh hey shadow girls from Utena see you’ve moved to a new school.)

The rumors also generally dictate how powerful and dangerous the apparitions actually are- but SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS is changing the rumors around the school and making the apparitions go berserk and actually harm humans. So Hanako needs a human assistant to change the rumors and help him calm and seal the apparitions! That’s where Nene comes in.

Hanako himself is a very fun character- he’s very chaotic and revels in his whole “ gremlin ghost” persona, and is upfront about being a bit of an asshole. BUT he also makes his kindness, often good intentions and the fact he’ll have his friends back when it counts obvious from the beginning. B U T! He’s also got darkness and hidden depths to explore, and a lot of his persona is affected and masks deeper issues! 

Our ghost boy is genuinely A TAD unstable deep down (as in he straight up has several untreated PTSD symptoms and that’s as disastrous as you’d expect) and packing some serious tragic backstory, as you might expect from a kid who died young and carries around a butcher’s knife, and it’s gonna come back to bite him and and all who care about him hard. 

 Especially when an overly enthusiastic exorcist named Kou Minamoto shows up! Kou is another one who’s very dumb and very good, a wannabe-shonen-protag with a heart of gold and strong sensitive, domestic side. He rounds out our main trio. Also he gets a tragic, emotionally intense relationship with yet another ghost boy that sings to my heart.

(Yes Hanako’s helping Nene to do the thing)

You may be able to tell, this story has INTENSE good-shoujo vibes despite technically being a shonen in a way that I love- it’s story very driven by big emotions, a variety of fucked up and tragically complex relationships, teen hormones running wild, etc, and it’s just delicious. 

Nene is the normal-person-audience-surrogate-girl in a way that is more common for a shoujo protag, and the way her emotional connections to everyone, her sweeping romantic fantasies and her interiority are consistently in focus when she’s there- yeah, she’s definitely a plucky shoujo protag, 100%. And I’m all about that!!!

 One thing I especially appreciate (though this comes across more strongly in the manga than the anime thanks to the anime rearranging things) is when Nene finds out about Hanako’s Heavy Baggage, she actually takes some time to herself to consider whether she can handle dealing with someone with these intense issues as a kid who’s never encountered stuff like this before- it’s not assumed by the story that the Sweet Girl is Obligated to help the Tragic Boy. I go into more detail about this part in this part here, but it’s that kind of attention to Nene’s needs that makes her role in the story work. Hanako and Nene and everyone’s struggles to get the hang of and properly navigate honest communication and mutual support in relationships are often really great and real-feeling

The story has a lot more things I love packed in to it- a dorky-but-still-deeply-unsettling villain gang who’s screwed up interactions are just as fun as our protagonists, yokai, A CURSED LIBRARY, some great ladies in addition to Nene, meditations on the nature of life, death, themes about fighting nihilism, and so on...I could seriously go on forever. It’s good stuff, and there’s lots of good weird supernaturals to meet.

The story’s also got tons of intrigue! The overarching plot and Hanako’s Mysterious Past is still in the process of unfolding, but it’s been great drama every step of the way! As mentioned before, the story also really relies on funny character dynamics, interaction and development to carry the whole thing and balance the drama.

The anime itself does have some pacing issues bc they crammed a lot into the first season and rearranged some stuff- an entire two chapter arc was skipped and was unlikely to be covered in the anime and some parts are noticeably rushed. I still really like the anime and it’s a solid adaptation. I love how much of the manga’s detailed aesthetic it managed to keep as well as the amazing voice acting and it made a few small but important additions. But there are some notable bumps- of course this just led me to go binge the manga (up to volume 12 is legally available digitally) and BOY DO I NOW LOVE THIS STORY EVEN MORE. 

Now obviously, just because it is Exactly My Shit in a lot of ways doesn’t mean Hanako-kun is the much quested for “unproblematic fave”, there’s several caveats you should probs be aware of- its shoujo vibes also mean some classic shoujo ~Problematic tropes~ and a couple shounen ones. 

THE LIST:

-Just as a general content overview thing: if this wasn’t clear the show deals heavily with death, body horror and other horror aspects. There’s heavily implied suicide and abuse and so on- as mentioned, the main character is traumatized and shows a lot of symptoms of PTSD, and Nene has to struggle to navigate her relationship with him because of this, as does Kou.

-Hanako himself has the whole ~loveable pervert~ and ~slightly possessive shoujo bad boy~ schtick going as part of his mischevious persona. In the anime so far, he never actually gropes or comments on not-in-his-naughty-mags-people’s breasts or anything of that level thankfully, but he’s very flirty, clingy, will loudly bring up porn, fond of the ol’ *says something that purposefully sounds sexually possessive* HAHAHA U THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING DIRTY RIGHT LOL ACTUALLY I DIDN’T.”

(My unnecessary ‘this part is kinda interesting!’ ramble: Nene always lists “sexual harassment” among Hanako’s flaws (she loves listing them), but doesn’t get visibly uncomfortable with his flirtiness or seem to mind it most times, which at least makes the whole thing more tolerable for me.

(since she doesn’t seem to mind that part and its clear he does it bc of actual affection for her, it’s actually p. cute how huggy he is.)

 The one time it does cross the line and genuinely upset her, it’s treated seriously, Hanako is genuinely regretful and apologizes. That’s one of my fave moments in the story and the way it’s handled is well done.

 This incident that he’s honestly pretty socially clueless as kid who died young and a lot of his bravado is to cover that up and keep people at a distance- this is a trope into itself that can use unpacking but I do at least appreciate that this is a considered character trait that’s part of his whole messed up package rather than something that thrown in there Just to Be a Fanservice Trope. (Especially since the manga confirms he never acted particularly pervy while alive, further cementing this is an affected persona). 

-There’s a running gag around Nene’s insecurity over her thick ‘daikon shaped’ ankles and boys treating her badly for it. 

One one hand, her body image issues are relatable, on the other, it feels cruel and annoying just how much the show finds ways to bring it up and humiliate her over and over again.

(My unnecessary “this is part is kinda interesting” ramble:The one thing i did realize that despite bringing it up constantly, we at least have no “i’m going to do this to lose weight” or “go on a diet” rhetoric,like this is just part of Nene’s body type and she knows she can’t change it? Which is kinda interesting. And I’ve spotted what might be foreshadowing something plot relevant’s going to happen with her ankles (I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT GOD I PUT NOTHING PAST THIS STORY) so uh yeah??? either way it’s not good tho)

-”Obsessive and twisted love” is a running theme in this story, and while it’s generally acknowledged as unhealthy, it can be played for comedy in a way that could make viewers/readers uncomfortable. There’s a couple characters who’s entire thing so far is “obsessively in love with this one person” (and the one only focused on in the manga so far is one of the least interesting characters tbh ugh)

-The antagonist of the show is a member of a main character’s family, and the manner he acts towards pretty much everyone, including (and really especially) his family member,  verges on seductive. This is presented as deliberately unsettling and treated as a marker of how unstable and scary he is- and though the backstory between them hasn’t been fully delved into, it’s pretty much all but confirmed he abused this family member physically and emotionally.

-The story has like, A LOT of queer subtext and pretty-heavy queer coding for one character especially, but the few times queerness blatantly comes up in the story, it’s played as a joke in the “haha that’d be kinda weird” way (aside from the rando boys who have a crush on Teru, handled pretty neutrally). It’s not as malicious as a lot of animanga can get (ONE MANGA INCIDENT ASIDE), but it’s something to Be Aware Of, and it makes it clear we’re unlikely to see subtext rise to text and makes some moments feel baity.

-And probably more I might have missed! The manga also has Some Shit in addition all the Good Shit that hasn’t been adapted yet, an early arc has Hanako crossing a serious line etc. 

BUT despite how messy it is, I think it’s clear I have a lot of love for this story. In fact, I wouldn’t trade away a good chunk of its messiness (DEFINITELY SOME JUST NOT ALL), it kinda works for the characters and works in the “this story really feed my inner teen” way. Some of the trashy parts are exactly My Trash, basically. 

So, I knew I’d ramble on for a while when I talked about his show, but if you’ve read this far, thanks, and I hope that means you’re gonna check out and maybe enjoy this story, bc i need more people to join me in Hanako Hell.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales (Comic) Reviews!: Happy Happy Valley!/Fight! (Issue #4)

My first look at the IDW Ducktales Comics! And for a comission by @weirdkev27​! Seriously he’s basically my boss at this point. If you’d like to comission your own comic or animation review just pm me or shoot me an ask to get my discord. Single stories for a comic are 3 bucks, single comic issues and single episodes of a show are 5 bucks with deals on multiple issues or episodes of a show. With my shameless plugging out of the way the stories themselves are:

Happy Happy Valley! (The Comissioned Story): The Main Cast sans Beakly end up stranded at a resort where everyone’s forced to be happy all the time. A classic trope with a twist ending you can’t predict.. mainly because it’s.. 

Fight!: The boys have a garage sale with stuff from the broom closet to raise money for Huey’s woodchuck trip. Naturally this quickly snowballs into a samurai fight to the death. 

Wonders, a full recap with spoilers, and extreme stupidity await bellow the cut. 

After a quick commission break for this week’s episode I’m back in the saddle and back into comics no less! It’s been exactly a year since I’ve done a single issue comic review. Oh sure I looked back on house of x, and will again next year, and I do want to cover Empyre at some point and some other comics, but I haven’t done a full recap of a single comic book in some time. But the first story of this issue  really, REALLY confused and infuriated Kev, and rightfully so, so I got the commission call, and of my own volition I’m doing the second story entirely for free. I just wanted to do both for completion’s sake and because when I did read this comic I remembered the stories not being very long so it gives me more to write anyway. And if your curious yes I would gladly review classic Don Rosa, Carl Barks or really any duck writer’s work on a story by story basis, it just works easier to do the Ducktales issues all in one since their both more recent and I don’t have to go back and do it later if, once i finish seasons 1 and 2 at some point in the distant future, I decide to do this series too as well as the Sound and Fury mini that was clearly used to offload stories they had left over. 

As for my experience with these comics I DID read them when they started out. .but quickly petered off and never even got around to this story, I remember reading page one but never read the rest of it. Part of it is I tend to flitter in and out of comics and part of it was the stories just weren’t that gripping, with the characters often feeling like flatter versions of the far more multi-layered one’s in the show proper and the stories being a bit too short to properly flesh things out like the show, especially since for some weird reason each issue has two stories instead of having one big story on occasion. They weren’t bad and there is a story or two I want to go back to like Lena and Webby being spies together, Fethry and Fenton have a story together apparently, we get an early look at Della, and there’s one where Bradford hints at them plotting against scrooge long before the show revealed it. There’s some interesting stuff I might look at eventually, I just have a LOT of show to get through too, and i’m not going to pidgenhole the entire series as bad or lackluster based on a few early issues.. or one story in this issue. But yeah i’ve held it off long enough.. let’s talk about 

Happy Happy Valley!

First off the titles for these are .. pretty lack luster. Their basically just what the stories are about.. Happy Happy Valley and a Fight, that’s.. about it. I didn’t realize just HOW awesome the show is at titles, making each sound like a thrilling and unique adventure which they usually are, until I got to here. It feels like IDW, and by extentsion disney, didn’t care what the stories were called and just wanted a comic out to tie into the show. Which bothers me when they put this on IDW, clearly having a release platform for disney works.. but didn’t bother to use it for their Darkwing Duck comic continuing from the original, the reprint of the BOOM! Studios comic, or the short lived Star VS Comic Deep Trouble, which I will be covering at some point as it was pretty good. Same with the Boom! Studio’s darkwing, I just want to watch more episodes before revisiting it. Point is the title isn’t great. The story is even less than that. 

We open properly with our heroes.. all woken up from their beds in the middle of the night for an adventure. It’s not a bad start, though Louie weirdly starts in constantly about how Scrooge’s rich and can do this and that and Subtley dosen’t exist in this story does it?  Anyways, later, far away from Louie’s bed.. that’s the caption they go with and I love it, the Sunchaser suddenly stops working and Launchpad’s crashing skills come in handy, 

This isn’t a bad scene as Donald brings up good points and likely has his own “times he’s been nearly sacrificed tally” like Louie.. and Della likely also said “Della’s coming out on top!” when her total went into triple digits. Also  “When your rich you can even buy luck launchpad”

It just.. dosen’t fit Scrooge at all.. granted this issue hasn’t BEGUN to not fit Scrooge at all but let’s save that for the end. Anyways rather than hostile locals they find Gladys Seeya, good pun, an overly smiley woman whose eager to please and just wants everyone to be happy and has them carried because tired people aren’t happy. Yeah it’s suspcious as heck and a well worn trope, really nice place with a dark secret, to the point the series proper would parody it in the Mervana episode, and subvert it by having them turn out to just be very nice hippies who i’m still convinced had a three way with Donald... I mean he could use it, they were really nice, and Donald is probably very generous. That’s something you didn’t want to think about but now you have to and it’s there. If you GENUINELY think that’s bad, then you should hear about Goofy’s sex life. 

See way more horrifying. Now everyone’s miserable! Horay! Moving on, point is Donald had a mer-three way and this is a well worn trope, but it is used in an interesting way.. that’s entirely ruined by the stupid ending, but we’ll get to that.  Point is everyone is soon happy, given a buffet, all the food they can eat, and whatever they want. They just want you to be happy.. no secret plot here.. wink. Louie continues his annoying “Every rich person gets X” schtick which feels forced as hell and gets worse with every line and more obvious. It’s one of the weaknesses with this story. It’s basically the writers constantly elbowing you and saying GET IT.. YOU GET IT.. BEING HANDED EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS ANNOYING GET IT. YOU GET IT.  The problem is.. the Island’s moral dosen’t fit that. Kev  helped here as we discussed the issue once I finished it, as I hadn’t thought of it yet, but the valley isn’t about giving you everything you want.. it’s about just FORCING you to enjoy things. Sure you can be happy off some things like the food but when Donald politley declines to dance because he can’t, which tracks with his life in general, they basically all glare at him to do so. Later they basically force acvitites on them with the ducks only agreeing because clealry they worry about what might happen if they DON’T. Telling someone to smile or enjoy something dosen’t make them enjoy it it just makes them miserable. Problems are 1, the issue very clearly WANTS to have the other moral and 2) the series would do this kind of story MUCH better with “Mystery at McDuck Manor!”. That’s not on the writers fault, as this comic started right before the show premiered and this issue came out before said episode, but it really doesn’t help the show came along with the same exact moral of not forcing your idea of fun on someone else and did it WAY better. It’s the same message, the ducks being forced to endure something only one person thinks is fun, but delivered right and wrapped into a very clever and fun mystery. Honestly I might cover that one this week or sometime soon because it both fits the Halloween season and this issue if nothing else reminded me how good THAT episode is. 

But I’m stuck doing this issue. Naturally, and in one of the issues few clever moments, the Ducks try booking it out of there as soon as they can but find their raft gone, and a ring of sharks suddenly there that weren’t before, and Donald understandably doesn’t want to risk the kids lives with that. Thankfully Webby soon comes up with a plan using the activities, and uses a napkin to get it around. This bit.. is actually clever as they use the various bits to get a plan and even Huey has a really clever bit where he just leaves his hat and shirt behind to go looking for the generator, likely on Webby’s request, knowing his brothers can just play him once in a while to draw suspicion. Also apparently Huey wears a tank top under his shirt, which looks weird on him, as he’s not the sporty type, but does fit his “always prepared” mindset well so I like it.  Using Basket weaving and balloon decorating, they create a way out, and Webby ties up their host while everyone escapes. They nearly don’t fit out but luckily Donald contributes. And again i’ll give the story this: Donald does more in this one story than he got to do in the vast majority of season one.  So our heroes escape with other patrons begging them to take them with them and the stories apparently wrapped up. The generator Huey found was to show the sharks were just holograms which given the science in this world makes sense, as does it jamming the sunchaser. What doesn’t make sense, and what got me my three bucks for this review in the first place is this. I”m putting the full picture there both so you can let it sink in and to let you know, since most of you probably haven’t read this comic, that i’m not making this shit up, nor is it one of my jokes. This .. this is the actual twist for the comic. 

...................................................................................................

 This is probably the thrird dumbest line in comic book history. Before you ask the other two are

And why yes those are both from the series. And why no I will not be covering All Star Batman and Robin unless someone forces me too.  My point is WHAT THE FLYING HELL IS THIS.  I mean this makes NO sense on any level. For STARTERS one of Scrooge’s most well known traits, that’s part of his character in every version is that he doesn’t like to spend money. He will to MAKE MONEY and sometimes grumble about it but if he doesn’t. Even if season 1 had it dialed way back, he still reused his old teabags, charged extra on his in house vending machines and tried to get out of buying burritos for recently freed slaves. Being cheap is an iconic part of his character. Granted the series took out things from the comics and original like underpaying employees, barely paying Donald even though in the comics he supports three children, as well as barely paying those children, and refusing to donate to orphans, but still it’s not THAT so far removed that THIS is remotely in character! He had to either buy this old resort or have it renovated to keep up the ruse, pay for the creepy lady running it, pay for the other guests as actors because otherwise his hired minion KIDNAPPED people who were begging for escape, pay for the activities/escape supplies, and pay gyro to build the GIANT GENERATOR THAT BOTH PROJECTS SHARKS AND MAKES TECHNLOGY NOT WORK. While I do think Scrooge would gladly want to teach Louie a lesson, this is a lesson that at best costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not at least a million to pull off.  And that’s not even getting into how he forced everyone else to go with it, denied them a good night’s sleep and clearly told NONE of them. Beakly not being there actually makes more sense as she would’ve noped out of this horrible horrible idea and bonked him on the head for this. It makes no sense and it’s GROSSLY out of character. And while I’m used ot that from comics, writers often don’t give a shit about the characters their writing, I expect better from DISNEY when it comes to lisencing shit. They’ve done better. I’ve mentioned better and even SINCE this they’ve done better: Christos Gage’s Incredible’s Comics are excellent and I want to read more of them. And the previous run by mark waid is also suitably incredible, if now sadly no longer canon.  And even in this very ISSUE there’s a much better, if not amazing, story we’ll get to in a moment. I get disney’s greenlit weak tie in material before but this is ridiculously bad and shoddy. Shame on them, shame on the writer, and shame on this INCREDIBLY stupid story. We get an everybody laughs ending, who cares. we’re out. 

Final Thoughts for Happy Happy Valley: 

I don’t have much less to say about this story. This about sums it up. 

Fight! 

We open with a samurai.. though it quickly turns out to be Dewey with a mop on his head hitting Louie with a broom while saying Two Damage! Two Damage! and already in one scene this is so much better and feels so much more natural. Naturally this story has a different writer. The artist is different for both too, and the art is good on both though I do prefer the art for “Fight!” more as it’s a bit more expressive. Though it also benefits from having less characters to juggle so that probably helps.  The boys are having a Garage Sale, or Yard Sale as some call it. As a huge fan of Garage Sales, I’ve gotten tons of stuff from them over the years and good shit too like my G1 Snarl, or even just recently a three in one of the first three loud house Graphic Novels for a freaking quarter. You REALLY can’t beat that. It’s why I love these things. So this story already had my money. As for why, Huey needs money for the Junior Woodchuck Camping trip. How else is he going to hold hands iwth Violet and Boyd under a tree. Wait neither of them existed yet.  Damn. Well i’m retconning that in anyway. If they can retcon the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver not to be mutants, which If eel is getting undone VERY soon, or if not Hickman will use that well, I can retcon this to taking place in season 3. Plus i’ts all very wholesome and innocent... their only eleven. 

But yeah Scrooge in a nice moment if an off-screen one gave them the contents of the broom closet.. which is really just a bunch of old used up brooms, some buckets and other cleaning supplies. Probably stuff Beakly rarely uses or has long replaced and if not.. well he’ll have to pay for them himself won’t he. Unlike the above clusterfuck this.. feels entirely in character. Scrooge likely apricates that Huey is working hard to EARN the money for his trip and that his brothers are helping, especially Louie since he gets nothing out of this unless they go over what Huey needs. But also being Scrooge he still only gives them some old Junk.  But Louie, being louie easily scams a guy into paying 15 bucks for a broom. Still this is slow progress and if Huey wants to be with his poly relationship he’s gotta step it up. Luckily, and naturally given this is Scrooge’s closet, they find an old Samurai helmet, which Huey feels could be worth millions. granted...

But eh it’s going to a good cause, tiny children holding hands by campfires, and when has common decency EVER stopped Louie? Dewey though, wants to start a collection of war stuff.. starting with this. It’s part of why I LIKE the story better: not only does it have much better dialouge but it’s actually rooted in the characters instead of “One trait of Louie’s cranked up to 50 and drilled into our heads”. Huey is trying to earn money for the woodchucks, Dewey only wants something for petty reasons and Louie wants money. It feels like the actual characters and not just cutouts and makes me wnat to read more stories in the hopes of finding more like this.  Anyways naturally nothing Scrooge has in any of his storage areas of the mansion tha’ts ancient isn’t cursed, magical or really neat to look at, and the helmet comes to life as they fight over it, and the helmet clints to Dewey, who talks in a deep red voice calling himself Ronnith of the Twin Samurai. The name.. isn’t great but the concept is. Thankfully Huey knows what it is thanks to the guidebook. and just like the Donald bit last episode this one story gets the guidebook better than season 1 did a lot.  Turns out the twin samurai were two brothers who hated each other and always competed for their mothers affection.. their mother was also forced to sell her beautiful sculptures for next to nothing after their father left. Instead of going after him though they both blamed each other as teens when invaders struck and burned everything including their mom I guess down, and fought the rest of their days, and while Ronnith never settled things due to growing too old, his spirit, and his intense hate, went into his helmet which now curses any brothers who fight over it to fight with the looser turning into a statue. 

Naturally no one wants this but Dewey can’t get the helmet off and Ronnith possess him to destroy the guidebook.. though Huey explains it’s his “third backup copy” which.. yeah again like the tank top thing tracks. Ronnith then manifests armor on Louie and we get the image above.. which is really neat. With Ronnith forcing the two to fight each other, Huey searches for a way to stop it. And while he can’t find it he does figure it out and the solution is REALLY clever: Just as Ronnith’s about to kill Louie, with Dewey apologizing.. Huey blocks. And Ronnith is naturally confused and upon finding out there’s a THIRD brother, the curse dissipates and thus everything’s back to normal. And wrapping things up nicely a guy shows up to buy the helmet and while Dewey tries to just give it away Louie says it’s free with purchase of a bucket for 50 bucks so Huey has his money to go on his romantic camping trip.. though he does ask if hte guy has a brother.. best be safe.  Final thoughts on Fight!: It’s like night and day. While the previous story is stilted, has one of the worst endings in duck history and overall is just kind of bland outside of one or two moments this .. is really good. It doesn’t add much to the world or anything, but it’s a fun side story with a clever monster of the week and resolution, some great lines and some good art. This is what should’ve lead the issue, as the main story is again just dreadful. Overall i’d recommend checking this story out.. though maybe get in in trade instead as the A-Story here is really bad, but you can find both on comixology and this issues on comixlogy unlimited if you want to check it out along with a ton of other great comics. 

That does it for this review, if you liked this I do regular coverage of ducktales every week, I JUST COVERED THIS WEEK’S EPISODE YESTERDAY.  So check that out and until next time vote if you can and check your house for Gary Busey!

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 15 - Auditions 4

11: Christine Hurley. I will say, I wasn't a big fan of the stand-up for the most part anyway, as she basically came off as Bargain Bin Barbolak (with only 10% trailer nasty). I mean, I've seen this character plenty of times before...But I also felt bad for that little flub; She was doing fine up until that point, and it really threw her off by the end...I will admit that Howie gave some pretty good advice, and I hope she takes it to heart to improve for the future...Best wishes to her!

10: LILIAC. Shame we didn't see more of this act...I enjoyed what little of them I saw! But I guess the next entry had to be the focus of the segment...

9: Luca Di Stefano. Barry White he is not, but this amused me enough...I wouldn't say this guy is necessarily a talented singer OR a talented baritone, as I could hear his voice cracking up throughout...But I enjoyed the gimmick for now, knowing that he's very likely going to be cannon fodder in the next round. (And probably for the best...Doing that CAN'T be good on his throat!)

8: Ashley Marina. So we're combining the drama from the Ansley Burns, Lamont Landers and Daniel Emmet auditions now, huh...? This kid gets THREE tries, HUH!? Honestly, it's getting harder and harder to understand Simon's standards by now, because I thought she did really good with both of those other attempts...But this was an obvious set-up...I liked her precious little dad song enough, and her singing voice is legitimately good (though nothing particularly new for me), so I'd say she deserves a shot in this game...I'm just sick of all this manipulative drama...Simon, I'm coming for your dogs! (This is becoming a VERY disturbing running gag...)

7: Olox. And from here on out, it's nothing but overwhelming positivity! When these two Power Rangers villains walked out, I knew they were either gonna suck, or we were gonna get something truly entertainingly bizarre! I am beyond happy that it was the latter! As far as such an unappealing talent as throat singing may be, they really are talented in that department, and they found a way to make it fun! ...And yet strangely the lady still sounded less like a goose than Dolores O'Riordan...(I'm just teasing; I like the Cranberries AND that song...) A silly gimmick that's sure not to get very far, but I'll enjoy the ride as much as I can!

6: Brett Loudermilk. Markiplier called, he wants his hair back! Next to Cristina Rae, this is probably the act we saw the most of in the promos...On the surface, he seemed like just another sideshow act, and to be fair, he kinda was...But contrary to some opinions I've made before, this is one type of act where personality is everything, and this guy has it by the bucketloads! Honestly, he is probably one of the funniest comedians we've seen in recent seasons, without even doing stand-up! And Sofia was almost as funny working off of him! I've no doubt the extra segments of the performance were a set-up (and how interesting that we had two acts with midway cliffhangers in a row...and I still loved this audition as much as I did!) That being said, I look forward to seeing him again! ...Though I guarantee you his throat hurt like a motherf***er the next morning! (And that makes TWO dudes in one show abusing the hell out of their throats!)

5: Nolan Neal. Vying for the gold medal in the Sob Story Olympics, and yet I'm willing to look past that because this man is just THAT talented! It's like if Chris Klafford's voice (and beard) came together with Marcin Patrzalek's guitar skills, with the songwriting complexity of We Three! Interesting how his audition came right after the Golden Buzzer, since this guy looked fitting enough for it (especially from Simon), and I honestly wouldn't have complained (though I'll get to the REAL pick soon...) But as it is, this guy looks like a prime GB pick for the Judge Cuts, and I have no doubt that he will go far! Hands down my favorite singer so far this season!

4: Feng E. Speaking of the passing down of Marcin Patrzalek's skills, here's a mini Marcin right here! Grace VanderWaal is watching this kid and going “Why didn't I do THAT with my ukelele!?” From what little we saw of him (not so much the performance as the boy himself), I wouldn't doubt that he will probably be eliminated in the next round...Real shame...But we have another talented preteen to potentially step in for him...

3: Noah Epps. It was actually a close one between the two kids, but I ultimately picked Noah because we saw more of his dancing than Feng's electric ukelele playing...(It's actually a close one between all of the Top 7...) It looks like they finally built a more advanced model of the Merrick Hanna droid, now with more creepy Pinocchio schtick! (Ultron, eat your mechanical heart out!) I really hope this kid does well in this game; No reason to cut his strings so early...

2: The Spyros Bros. So THIS is what Mochi's act was missing! Well, where he failed, this may be the act to succeed in making diabolo a talent to be taken seriously on this show! What they have already displayed here was mindblowing, and from what they've said, it sounds like this is only the beginning! Between the awesomeness we are (possibly) about to witness, the bullying backstory, and the AGT fanboyism, this act does have the potential to go far! When I watched the preview video on Youtube a few days ago, I was expecting this to be another awesome act in an otherwise humdrum show, but not only were almost every act tonight top-notch, but one other act just barely edged them out from the top spot of this list...

1: W.A.F.F.L.E. Crew. In Season 13, we got the epically named Pancakes! And now this year we have met their superior brethren in the dancing breakfast pastry category! (Can't wait to see French Toast Crew in Season 17 and Da Crepez in Season 19!) Okay, onto the most important point...I never thought I'd say this...But I think I'll be rooting for Simon Cowell's Golden Buzzer to win this season! It's hard to compare them with the more gimmicky dance acts like V.Unbeatable, Light Balance and Zurcaroh, but as far as straight-up hip-hop dance goes, this is the cream of the crop! It's also hard to compare them with the other GBs; They probably won't get as many Youtube views as Roberta or Cristina (though we'll just see), but they definitely stand out more, and Simon is sure to push them as far as possible! So far none of the acts are safe bets for the win...But maybe it's time a dance crew finally got it (again, not counting V.Unbeatable at Champions earlier this year...) These guys have all of the necessary materials to go all the way: The skills, the style, the story, the Golden Buzzer, the fans' blessing, Simon's blessing...and MY blessing!

WHERE WERE ALL THESE ACTS BEFORE!? It's like they saved almost all of the really exciting ones for one show (though Malik and maybe a few others would have fit in quite well). This reminds me of that audition episode last year that had Marcin, Berywam and ADEM all in the same show (as well as that goofball who did the Andy Kaufman thing), but if almost the entire show was at their level! Hands down the best audition of the season so far, with several acts I could see making it all the way to the Finals!

So next week should be interesting...We already saw what it's like with a vacant judges' seat (giving the Spyros plenty of space to toss the diabolo over), but we'll see how Sofia's “Modern Family” co-star Eric Stonestreet handles filling in for Heidi...

I will probably expect the last Golden Buzzer of the round (Howie's) to be saved for the final audition the week after (I wonder if it will be that “at home” show I saw on Youtube, and they left out Howie's GB in those videos). Either way, we'll wait and see...

Until then...

[comeallyelost]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3x08 Thoughts

I think I'm getting a clearer picture of where this season is headed, but the way they are going about it is not at all ideal. 

Four sections to this post:

June

Aunt Lydia

General Episode Notes

The Racism Problem

1. On June’s Sanity

The plot is barely moving forward, but we're seeing more of June's descent into madness/ desperation and her loss of humanity as a result of losing her closest allies. (I'm gonna loop in Serena and Nick here because for a while at least, I think June believed Serena was in her camp post pinky-finger). 

So based on the looks of things, Nick's absence and ambiguity HAS to be intentional since it's having a direct effect on June's ability to cope with the horrors of Gilead.

This episode most definitely was used to paint June as the villain and Natalie/OfMatthew as the victim. They turned it around on us, implying that anyone can go mad here, even our protagonist whom we've been rooting for this entire time. And like, I don't really want to draw too many parallels here, because the development has been a better on THT and there is a much more tangled web of *things* going on, but I'm getting similar "mad queen" Dany vibes that were happening on Game of Thrones.

But honestly, what irks me most about this whole season is how we all came in expecting a season about the resistance. About Mayday, about June fighting back. June STAYED in Gilead for a reason. For Hannah. Or so we thought. Where is that narrative? We've gotten nothing so far. 

I would argue that it does makes sense for June's character to go darker, to go to extremes she would have never considered before. Especially without someone to anchor her down. Nick was her rock and he's gone. Not just physically, but in her mind she feels like she lost the person she thought he was. HOWEVER, just because these elements were removed, it serves no point for her to stray in this direction and lose sight of her daughter, of the fight against Gilead.  The handmaids this episode played out like a Mean Girls skit and poor Janine is this series' punching dummy and I'm getting tired of that.

Side note: Another facet of June’s spiral is the lack of flashbacks. Her ties to Luke, Hannah, Moira, and her life from before are fading. Nick keeping her sane and helping her survive in present Gilead was one side, but her ties to her humanity are also very much embedded in the person she was before. She may not be the same June, but it’s those memories that keep her fighting, that keep her going. And I don’t think we’ve seen a flashback since like...the beginning of ep 5 if I’m not mistaken.

It's been EIGHT episodes gdi. What do we have left? Five? I sincerely hope they're not wasted. But my hope is dwindling. Watching this week's ep I honestly felt like I was watching an entirely different show from the one I was so obsessed with last year.

2. On Aunt Lydia’s backstory

Yay! Woohoo we finally get a backstory for someone new. Except it’s Aunt Lydia, and I don’t think I ever found her compelling enough to merit a backstory. 

What I mean is, I always found her to be as pious as they come in Gilead and she serves the regime wholeheartedly. Her character was always finding a way to help others in some twisted radical christian logic and I was right!

What I do keep seeing people post about that I disagree with is that she “turned” on the young mom because she was rejected by a man. Her motivations are more complex than that. She mentions “moral weakness” enough that I think her compulsion to help others in the way she thought she was helping Noelle was to rid them of it. She thought herself above it, or at least she carried herself as someone who overcame moral weakness and thought it her calling to help others in overcoming it as well. 

So when she found herself displaying it towards the principal, I think something snapped in her. His rejection in the middle of their (intense) make-out session served as a wakeup call to her imo. And she blamed Noelle for making her “morally weak”.

So what we can draw from this flashback I’d say, is that Aunt Lydia’s whole schtick is helping others overcome their moral weakness as she puts it. She truly believes she is doing God’s work. She was totally okay with taking Noelle’s kid away from her. And so the brutalities she’s committed as an Aunt are not seen by her as such. She fits right in. A perfect fit for the role.

3. Thoughts I had while watching the Ep: - the chanting scene in the school gym felt like a nightmare/dream sequence - June’s posse is super clique-y which I kind of like if only they used their powers for the good of the resistance and not to terrorize OfMatthew/Natalie - June tattling on OfMatthew/Natalie was super petty. Can she please focus on the bigger picture? - Hannah and the Mackenzie’s are GONE. What now? I really really thought we were gonna see Hannah get out this season. - Janine is literally the only sane one and yet probably the one who has suffered most - Commander Lawrence's "Do not presume to speak to me about my wife" last episode versus. "I'll bet that felt good" this week - I didn’t quite understand OfMatthew’s behavior. I know she was terrified, and I know June outing her for her sinful thoughts rattled her, but her being on edge enough to beat Janine, kill a guardian, and take his gun? What broke her? - I also hated how that scene was filmed. It felt like a shooter video game sequence

4. On the racism problem:

THT's "colorblind" approach from the inception of the series was already problematic. Margaret Atwood's version of Gilead was based directly on the inequalities she saw in (her) present day. I completely get rejecting the notion of an all-white cast and their logic that a fertility crisis would take priority over racism, but hell, if there is one thing that is inherently american, it's RACISM. A fertility crisis wouldn't ERASE racism altogether. And that's how Hulu's version made it seem. 

Also, another element of Atwood's Gilead and the fertility issue was the underlying eugenics of it all which is not present whatsoever in the series. If we're exploring a fascist, oppressive regime, eugenics is definitely playing some sort of role. Casting a diverse group of women as handmaids and marthas was not a bad move. But simply having the POC ones making the background more "colorful" won't cut it. I think there could still have been a diverse cast with some sort of oppressive racial hierarchy in place within Gilead. The LGBTQ community is targeted, the women are entirely powerless and assigned roles within certain constructs, but they won't even mention race? It's like an unspoken elephant in the room they've decided to ignore. Which then makes all the actions against POC in the series that much more unsettling.

I'm questioning whether this racism is intentional then? Or just a consequence of the ingrained, learned racism we've all grown up with. Either way, it's a complete disaster. Diversity is not just seeing POCs onscreen. It's GIVING THEM A VOICE. It's letting them tell their version of things. Serena as the embodiment of white feminism, I thought, was intentional at first. June's ability to get away with SO MUCH and suffer hardly any consequences in this awful regime, I'm thinking now, is another example of white privilege in this society. And it can be. It would actually be a great tool IF IT WERE ACTUALLY ADDRESSED IN THE SERIES. But instead we just see POCs suffer, get no back stories, no voices, and just see June, Serena, and the other white handmaids carrying the series.

This episode we did get Aunt Lydia saying one of the households didn't want a handmaid of color. So there we had a teeny tiny glimpse into the fact that there is some underlying racism going on somewhere. But again, like all of the other snippets we've seen this season, it leads to nothing. It's not explored or examined or ever addressed again.

I was skeptical of OfMatthew's (Natalie) role as June's partner from the get go. No one here is doing anything except trying to survive. There are imo few actual villains in Gilead except those who constructed it for their own gain. Every single handmaid, martha, ~insert oppressed role in here~ is playing a role in order to survive. 

I've mentioned before that one of the elements I love (or maybe loved in past tense at this point) about this show is how it highlights humanity's capacity to endure suffering or see others endure suffering. When do you snap? Who falls in line and who resists? What are the triggers? What moral standards do you uphold when society as you knew it to be has been erased?  

So taking all that into consideration, OfMatthew/Natalie was never a villain for me. Annoying? Maybe in her intro. But she's popped out 3 kids. She's about to give birth to a 4th and is legit terrified for her daughter. Her snitching on June was shitty, but she was just trying to survive like everyone else. The fact that it cost the life of another martha (who was a POC) and June faced no repercussions was even shittier on the writers’ part.

This show has me going in circles honestly. Questioning whether these decisions were intentional or not. I don't know which one is worse. If it was intentional, the lack of actually addressing the racism in Gilead makes it pretty shitty on the part of the showrunners. If it was unintentional, then they really need to reexamine the writers room and staff more POCs. Like wtf.

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 9)

Favorite episodes (in chronological order):

9:1 I think I’m gonna like it here - Usually not a fan of intro episodes but this is pretty tight

9:4 Slumber party - YES. Anything Charlie! Supernatural meets Once Upon a Time. Sam responding to Charlie’s info on who uploaded the unpublished Supernatural books. ”None. Uhm. No bells.” Lol.

9:5 Dog Dean afternoon - One of the best episodes in the entire show for obvious reasons: Jensen Ackles frolicking. The scene when the spell takes effect is amazing.

9:7 Bad boys - Love the retro episodes, this one is heartbreaking and scary to match. The fact that the show keeps revealing stuff about their childhood, John’s tough love approach, and stuff lost by the years separating the boys as well as their distinct roles, is really good. Kinda makes me wish we got more of those episodes. This casting of tween!Dean is very good, he rly is insufferable, and vulnerable, and much better than the one in the dodge ball episode. Blake Gibbons is also great in his role . The ending! Omg! I’m literally crying. ”He just said to tell you you have a job. Said you’d know what that means.”

9:11 First born - Ah. The blade. The Cain storyline. Loving the ”buddy” comedies; pairings Dean & Crowley and Sam & Cass. Dean growing a beard, a little overkill but I’ll take it. Cain is cute, and kinda entertaining. The idea that the Winchesters are allowed to change, Cass, what a radical concept.

9:13 The purge - Thank goodness they’re back together even if they’re just faking it til they’re ”making” it. Dean eating pudding, Sam doing yoga ”You’re not the only one who’s dated someone bendy.” And Sam asks Dean to admit that he didn’t save Sam out of some altruistic motive but for him himself, which is fine, right? I think that’s fine. Half the time I think most of their problems could be solved by (mainly) Dean just being honest about what he feels.

9:15 #thinman - this starts out pretty funny and ends up so frickin’ dark. Ed and Harry being some weird foil for Sam and Dean. The realness of this story is kinda painful.

9:18 Meta fiction - Gabriel! If only for a brief shining moment. Gadreel’s old vessel- I like him. Metatron injecting Cass with every book, movie, tv show... nifty!

9:19 Alex Annie Alexis Ann - A wayward daughter introduced. And Jody Mills is always a win. Good, tight episode. Excellent character study. Creepy ass monsters *because* they’re so human. One of the best episodes of this season.

9:21 King of the damned - Now this is my kinda torture. And Crowley and his son. And calling off the Hellhound over speaker phone. Why is this so funny?

9:23 Do you believe in miracles - Besides Dean bugging the crap outta me, this finale is actually pretty interesting. I rly like it. ”What happened to you being okay with this?” ”I lied.” I love them.

Fail episodes (in chronological order):

9:9 Holy terror - Angel stuff. And torture. Boring. Plus Gadreel offing Kevin. Booooooh! ”I always trust you, and I always end up screwed.” Winchesters, amiright?

9:12 Sharp teeth - Garth is a werewolf. Hate the brothers being out of sorts. A theme for the episode seems to be estrangement, deception. Serves to show how compulsive particularly Dean is, how lonely he makes himself. It’s all interesting but how am I supposed to be okay with an episode which ends this way? My heart just breaks.

9:20 Bloodlines - God I hate this.

Mediocre mentions:

Rock and a hard place - ”Congratulations Sam and Dean Winchester! You are both virgins!” Lol. Dean describing sex. Awesome. Not his finest hour making that sneaky pass on an ex porn star though, they could’ve played that *way* better.

Road trip - More angel stuff. *sigh* A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up off the fave list. Dean and Cas having a little tete-a-tete is nice, not enough to make up for it. However, Crowley and Gadreel doubleteaming Sam has me shouting on the couch. Okay, fine! ”If I see you again-” ”Yes, I’m dead, I love you too.” And ”Daddy’s home.” Crowley saves the episode.

Honorable mentions:

Using ”Who do you love?” in the previously on-section first thing this season.

I am into this new communicative schtick the bros have going. I’m loving this new and improved, supportive, sinscere, soft Dean, more of that plz.

Castiel going by Clarence! My heart! And experiencing the small and trying things of being human: thirst, hunger, lust, making money last, working shitty jobs, baby sitting. It rly does wonders for how I feel about him.

Ghost!Kevin telling the brothers to get over it. ”My mom’s taking home a ghost, you both are still here.”

The crazy collector and Human!Crowley in Blade Runners are more than a little icky- but also very interesting.

The chemistry between Padalecki and Jenny O’Hara in Mother’s little helper. The chemistry between Sam and Cass in this season, I feel there’s a real exchange there. Sam’s character has a really satisfying range in how it interacts with others, I dig that.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean showing Cas the door w/o setting him up w a safe house. Especially since they put Kevin up in a warded motel room in Branson the very next episode. Winchesters, man.

Summing up:

I’m rly taken by the speech from Sharp Teeth. It’s much better written than I’ve given it credit for. On the one hand, Dean’s arc from the end of season 8 has made it emotionally and reasonably clear what his one job is, what his purpose is. At any price. Sam meanwhile is bigger picture, and the thing with Gadreel just made it clear that his and Deans ideas of their joint purpose differ. That’s why Sam says ”everything that’s ever gone wrong between us has been because we’re family.”

But well written or not; this really real conflict is also a big problem with this season, mainly because they use it for friction but ultimately not enough closure.

[spaceorphan18]

SO Watches Friends 1x01-1x03

Apparently, it’s been 25 years since Friends aired - and I’m seeing all these articles on it, how it was the greatest ever, how it sucked, how apparently the youngins are discovering it on Netflix.  

So - I felt like, what they hey, I haven’t seen it in years, and I need to watch something while I have meals, so let’s see how well this show holds up.  

Pilot - The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (because how else is she going to pay for that apartment.) 

It’s funny to me that this was the hot new show of the time.  Because these people are... incredibly boring.  The beginning montage is them sitting in a cafe talking about random boring things for what appears to be hours, then they go home and watch TV.  This seems to be what they do on the weekend.  I mean, I realize in the early 90s there wasn’t /that/ much to do - but still, they live in NYC, and most of the stuff they do on this show will be sitting around doing nothing.  

So, let’s break down these characters, shall we? 

Rachel - It’s her wedding day, but she skips out on her wedding because she didn’t love her fiance.  I think this is supposed to be funny?  While I do think, in general, all of the characters are more relatable (and nicer) than in later in the series, she’s such a weird amalgamation of what the writers (or network?) thought would be relatable? I mean - she’s kind of dumb, and rich enough that money isn’t a problem, and her family values are set back in the 50s - hence her getting married so her husband can support her instead of her father.  

I get where the character is coming from - but while it might have been more of a progressive stance at the time -- it seems like a relic now.  

Monica - Who is the most together one of them at the moment.  I like early Monica, tbh, who appears intelligent (for the most part).  They’ll later take her quirks and make her a neurotic nutjob - but I can appreciate her mature nature right now.  

She goes on a date with Paul the Wine Guy - and again, it shows just how boring these guys’ lives are that they’re standing around her apartment with nothing better to do than to cheer her on about her date.  Is this what people in ther 20s did in the early 90s? I was much too young to know.  Anyway - Paul the Wine Guy is an asshate who uses lines to get Monica into bed.  The network thought this would make Monica sleezy.  I’m so glad times have changed enough that we can look back and be glad we can see that it’s really Paul the Wine Guy who’s sleezy, and that there are faster ways to figure out if a guy is a creep or not.  

Phoebe - Phoebe has absolutely nothing to do in the pilot other than be there and be weird.  I much appreciate it - because this show would be utterly boring and devoid of any quirky elements if she wasn’t there.  Also - Lisa Kudrow sells the comedy while most of the rest of them (minus Matthew Perry) seem to be just reading the script. 

Joey - I have no idea what Matt LeBlanc is trying to do here.  Is he doing a NYC Italian accent?  Is he trying out for a part? He’s kind of the most cringy during the Pilot but at least that’ll go away quickly.  

I don’t have a whole lot to say about Joey, he and Chandler are like two halves of the same character at the beginning, both with little development.  But - funny enough, maybe it’s age, I found myself agreeing with Joey during the whole dishing out life advice thing to Ross -- there’s no such thing as soul mates or destiny, get out there and live life :P 

Chandler - Like Phoebe he doesn’t have much to do other than make quips.  Granted - he did have some of the best, genuinely funny lines of the episode.  Matthew Perry’s comedic chops as well - and it’s a shame there is much Phoebe and Chandler stuff on the show.  

Anyway, the writers originally toyed with making Chandler gay, which I find a shame, I think that would have worked so well.  And added some diversity to this really, really non-diverse cast.  I completely understand why this makes lists of ‘Things Straight, White, and Loosely Christian People Like’.  25 years later, it’s incredibly glaring.  Even Saved by the Bell, which was ending its run at the time, managed to be more diverse. 

Ross - I’m curious as to when Ross becomes that one Friend whom everyone hates.  He’s recently divorced (from a woman who figured out she was a lesbian) and being really mopey about it (which, you know, is understandable).  I don’t particularly like or dislike Ross at the moment.  

I will say the whole Ross and Rachel thing is telegraphed from a mile here, and it’s weird that they’re going to drag this romance out for an entire season and a half when he literally asks her out at the end of the episode, and she says yes.  Why, why, why is this going to be dragged out so much.  (I know the reason - sweeps week - but still.)  

Is the episode entertaining? Eh.  It still has a lot of the trappings of an 80s sitcom - the annoying laugh track, the forced jokes, the surface level stories - only it’s new and hip because 20-somethings had never had a show to themselves without an older mentor around.  At the same time, there isn’t anything that remarkable about any of these 20-somethings, which may or may not have been the point.  I suppose we’ll see.  

The One With the Sonogram (of Ross’s baby that he’s having with this lesbian ex-wife) at the End

This episode is merely a continuation of all the threads set up in the pilot.  You can tell Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe aren’t developed yet, as they really don’t do anything other than crack one-liners at opportune times.  I shouldn’t complain that these characters just don’t feel like they’re getting enough time together as a group (because obviously, there are a ton more episodes to go where they are) but I feel like they’re spending too much time in individual plot lines that aren’t that interesting. 

Plot A) Ross finds out that his ex-wife (who’s a lesbian) is having his baby (because apparently they did it one more time after she left him? Idk), and he’s not doing so well with that.  Idk - I don’t hate this plot line.  For being the early 90s, the show is treating being gay with much more respect than pretty much everything before that (even if the idea of lesbians is treated as a joke rather than a serious thing people are).  At least the gay stuff isn’t villainized.  

Plot B) Rachel gives back the ring to her ex-fiance, whom she finds out was fooling around with her maid of honor.  This is the first time we meet Barry, and everything about him screams douchebag.  There’s nothing remotely interesting here, and it almost feels obligatory for Rachel’s story.  Also - I find it ridiculous that he and Rachel would be having private conversations with a (child) patient there.  

Plot C) We meet Monica and Ross’s controlling and judgmental parents who prefer Ross to Monica.  While Elliot Gould and Christina Pickles are both fantastic actors - I cannot with the amount of judgy-ness that spews forth, and really can’t wait for them to be the quirkier people they eventually become.  

Oh- and I forgot, this show decided for the beginning of season 1 to have these philosophical discussions about the differences between men and women, and I feel like this episode is supposed to loosely tie into that and I kind of roll my eyes and am like -- just be the situational comedy that you’re meant to be.  

Is this episode any good? Eh, not really.  There are some funnier moments in an otherwise bland and obligatory story.  

The One With the Thumb (in a can that Phoebe almost drinks)

This episode is so boring that it’s almost tedious to get through all 22 minutes of it.  Here we go! 

Plot A) Monica dates a guy named Alan that everyone likes but she doesn’t and she finds it hard to break up with him.  

I get what the writers were going with here - that she’d have to tell her friends that they need to ‘break up’ with Alan, despite them all really liking him.  Idk - I don’t think the whole schtick is that funny, and feels pointless when we barely get to meet Alan himself.  

I do have to note that Monica talks with one of her coworkers - who is the first PoC on the show, a black woman.  But we’re never going to see her again, so...? 

Plot B) Chandler starts smoking again - and we get a PSA plot line about the dangers of smoking.  Friends is rarely going to be a preachy show, and it’s super weird when it is.  It’s especially weird that it’s centered around smoking because -- who cares? 

Plot C) Phoebe accidentally has good things happen to her.  It’s almost like a running joke more than a plot line that ends with her ending up with a thumb in a can that nets her $7000.  It’s... just a really dumb sitcom plot line.  But, hey, we learn that Phoebe hangs out with homeless people.  And, the episode gets a point for tying all three plot lines together at the end.  

So... I’ll probably do these three or four at a time.  And the first three?  Eh, not great.  It’s fascinating that this show became such a hit right off the bat - because there’s not anything uniquely interesting about any of these characters yet.  And the plot lines are all so generic and/or dumb that there’s little to latch on to.  

We’ll see how this goes.  

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

OB Rewatch: Gag or Throttle

The episode from whence my thumbnail image came.

My first watch review can be found here: https://lobsters-on-their-heads.tumblr.com/post/163333202396/gag-or-throttle 

I loved

Exploring Rachel's character, background, and motivations. She'll never be my favorite character, but she is one of the most interesting characters. 

Two minutes later after seeing young Rachel talking with the Neos, adult Rachel introduces Kira Manning to the board, wearing the same outfit, at the same age, but rather less curated than Rachel was.

Fucking adorable Charlotte sitting wrapped in a blanket with her mug of cocoa or whatever, so proud that they “escaped on a boat with only a map and compass”

I love that Rachel had a real reason to side with the sisters, in her discovery of PT's eye-cam tablet. Although maybe it wasn’t so much siding with them as siding against PT.

The steady drum/ bass beat that starts once Rachel sits in her video room drinking herself numb. Season 5 doesn’t have quite the same spot-on soundtrack as previous seasons, but this was great.

“Fell from a punt and drowned” – “probably also alcohol poisoning”

The climax of this episode takes us back to earlier seasons. There’s horror and genuine suspense, and Ledas working together. 

And Kira, who can feel Rachel’s emotions, asking “Who hurt you?” and Rachel’s response - “All of them.”

Tat plays drunk so well. Finding little details fascinating, dragging the glass across her lap.

I love that Rachel ripped out her own fake eyeball, which was connected by actual tissue to her head. She will do ANYTHING to have control over her own body. I’m reminded of Leekie in Season 2 saying something like, “Rachel takes insult very personally.”

I liked

The opening flashback to young Rachel, with her almost robotic recitations of clones' tag numbers paired with picking her fingernails bloody. Although they seem to have CGI’d something onto Matt Frewer’s head.

There’s a great contrast of Rachel in this ep – vulnerable, undignified (two pelvic exams and a shot of her wiping the lube from between her legs while wearing a paper gown), talked down to – with the Rachel we met in Seasons 1 and 2 – meticulous, formal, controlling. 

“Liver deep” indeed. We've seen Alison put down some booze before.

I did like Mark's “oh for fuck's sake come 'ere” man hug of his mom.

They're giving Skyler Wexler much meatier material, which is great. They're not keeping her in “cute little kid who rests her chin on her hand” land, as other shows do with their token child. She’s not the greatest actress, but they hired her at the age of, like, 6, and she’s acting opposite Tatiana Maslany, so any less-than-perfections are totally forgivable in my book. 

Rachel keeps the bracelet Kira gives her and wears it for the rest of the episode!

I didn't like

S immediately busting out her handgun bundle when Sarah said they were making her wait until tomorrow to talk to Kira. Siobhan's been the calm one, as Sarah points out. It’s not the first time Dyad has taken Kira, not the first time things have seemed hopeless.

Cosima's reunion with Scott made me uncomfortable. Sure, I’m glad they had a reunion, and yes, they would be happy to see each other, but the zooming in on faces, the lingering embrace.... eh. [funny, I enjoyed this scene in my first watch]

The whole tired “married man rushes to clean the house moments before his wife gets back” schtick. I mean, okay, it fits here, since Donnie's been living totally alone and I would make a mess, too, and plus, maybe he didn’t have much notice that Alison was returning, but it’s a cliché I’d like to not see for a bit.

Alison's return. I like Alison a lot, but this isn't Alison, and this plot line doesn't work here at all. Nothing about her absence or sudden life change makes any damn sense at the end of Season 5. And she threw away her craft supplies! I mean, listen, I teach essay writing for a living, and one major point we stress is that you don’t bring in extra information in the conclusion unless it directly connects to something you wrote before. We’re in Episode 7 of 10, the final stretch, and Alison’s changes don’t connect.

I don't give a shit about Mark and Gracie. I do think the subplot of no one trying to cure the Castor men is an interesting one, but Mark and Gracie don't do it for me.

There's a lot of bouncing around / sudden scene changes / “gasp!” reveals that aren't gasp worthy.

Other notes

Interesting word choice - “our most curated subject... Rachel Duncan.”

I don't know enough about Dungeons and Dragons to know if Hell Wizard's comment about “DnD in real life” makes any damn sense.

Very telling that Rachel signs a document promising her freedom from the experiment, much like she pressure the sisters into doing in Season 1, but she thinks that this one is for real.

Canon confirmation that Leekie has seen Rachel's vagina. Or very close to it.

Imagine jerking off into a cup and knowing that you're going to be giving that cup to the woman you call your mother. The Castor men really are just as “curated” as Rachel’s been.

It took me a second to realize the implication of this shot the first time I watched it. I am not always smart.

Leekie shows real fascination and care for the clones when he discovers Rachel's autopsy of Miriam. He sees Miriam as a human being, not simply a lab rat. However, I think half of his anger towards Rachel is due to her going behind his back, not due to her “encouraging” Miriam to die.

I forgot, again, that Rachel and Cosima are played by the same person.

I am super impressed that Rachel managed to text while looking with one eye. Anyone who's received text messages from me can attest to the numbers of typos I make while looking at my phone with both eyes.

Speaking of eyes, I couldn't watch. Eyeball horror skeeves me out more than anything.

I have questions

Did Rachel believe PT’s story about his age and background? She’s pretty blasé when Sarah emails her that obit.

What is keeping Rachel's top up? I have so many questions about shirts/ dresses like this. As always, women’s fashion confuses me.

Rachel Duncan went to summer camp?!?! And had a friend!?! I need more information about this!

Were the friendship bracelet and questions about Rachel really all Kira's idea / natural personality? Did she intuit that Rachel was a good person inside? Or was it part of the hustle?

What is the issue, exactly, with Charlotte's leg? We see her on the bed with seem to be crossed legs, her brace on the bed beside her.

What the fuck happened with the revolt on the island last episode?

Why do the Castor boys all have distinct last names?

Do the Neolution symbles have meaning?

Did Coady leave Rachel's chart up on the computer on purpose? Did she want Rachel to see it?

In what room did Rachel perform that autopsy of Miriam?

So PT can hear everything too? Does the eye have a receiver, or has he just tapped her phone?

I would've liked to have seen

An entire episode devoted to Cosima and Charlotte escaping on a boat, with just a map and compass, and then sending the boat back out onto the water and making their way from the shore to the Rabbit Hole. I like to think that maybe they stopped somewhere for donuts on way back.

[hoogiehowser]

MEDIA DIARY JANUARY

:::::::::: MOVIES ::::::::::

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) I liked this so much I ended up seeing it twice. The animation is on a whole different level from everything else in theaters I just can’t believe it. Nothing has immediately endeared me to a character more that when Miles gets to the place where he’s going to put up graffiti and yells “BROOKLYN!” to get the echo. Absolutely perfect. 

Happy Death Day (2017) The trailer looked good but the trailer for the sequel looked even better. Good time repeating movie. Way better than Blood Punch. I’m excited to see more of this.

Alien: Covenant (2017) Had no clue what to expect going in but I actually dug it. It’s just Alien again like every Alien movie but what they do with David from Prometheus makes it really interesting. There’s also some straight up slasher movie sleaze that definitely appeals to me.

MacGruber (2010) It’s just a bunch of dick jokes while a bad action movie happens. There’s no clever spin to it.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002) Wanted to watch this due to the Fast & Furious connection. It’s a great movie about overachievers and getting away with shit. I think Justin Lin is a great director and his unique voice benefits every movie he does.

Collateral (2004) I didn’t realize until the credits that this was a Michael Mann movie but it was so obvious in hindsight. The premise is simple, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx are great, and everything comes together in a genuinely cool film.

Wilson (2017) Based on a comic I don’t particularly like from Dan Clowes’ grumpy old man phase. The cool thing about the comic is that each page works on its own and has a different art style. The movie can’t do that. But it’s still faithful to the book which means it feels like a series of one page gags strung together until it finishes. Woody and Laura Dern are great though and it is pretty funny at times.

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare (2018) There was another truth or dare based horror movie a year before that was a Syfy original. The Syfy one is better. The problem with them both is the supernatural contrivances that make people play truth or dare against their will. It’s such a strained premise.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) Guy Ritchie made a King Arthur movie and it feels exactly like you’d expect. 

Thoroughbreds (2017) Girl who can’t feel emotions befriends girl who is very politely hiding her extreme emotions. Things get bad when they start to think about murder. Anton Yelchin plays a druggie scumbag loser. It’s such a good movie. 100% my kind of thing.

:::::::::: TV ::::::::::

The Great British Baking Show (Beginnings, Collections 1-4) Got addicted to this one. I love cooking competitions shows and pleasant ones are usually the best. I like seeing competitors that like each other. I like Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry not trying to tear people down. I love Mel and Sue. It’s just a nice show for the nice people.

Toei Spider-Man (Episodes 1-5) I’m not a big toku guy but Spider-Verse got me curious about various Spider-Men. Takuya Yamashiro wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he was injected with blood from the last survivor of Planet Spider and carries out a mission against Professor Monster’s Iron Cross Army to avenge Planet Spider and his own father. Next to nothing present from the classic Lee/Ditko Spider-Man and that’s totally alright. I’m going to try to watch more because the episode where Spider-Man has to donate his blood to hurt child has some serious heart.

The Prisoner (Episodes 7-17) I started watching this a while ago but only now got around to finishing. Mostly super clever plots and the atmosphere is always great. Patrick McGoohan sells it every single time. Some of the later episodes go really off the rails though. There’s an entire wild west episode. Nothing in this stretch tops my favorite episode, The Schizoid Man, where Number Two brainwashes Number Six to act differently and then forces Number Six to pretend to be Number Six while a different man is already pretending to be Number Six. The ending is solid though and carries a really good tv series to a confusing, surreal end.

Cutthroat Kitchen (Season 7, Episodes 1-7) Polar opposite of The Great British Baking Show. It’s the Mario Kart of cooking competition shows. Everyone tries to fuck each other over and Alton laughs at them the entire time. It’s brilliant.

:::::::::: PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ::::::::::

TJPW Tokyo Joshi Pro ‘19 (January 4) I don’t follow TJPW and don’t know any of their wrestlers besides Meiko Satomura but I watched this because it was on before Wrestle Kingdom. Meiko vs Reika Saiki definitely made the show worth watching and the rest was pretty alright. Lots of fun, new personalities that I like.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 13 (January 4) Probably the most I’ve looked forward to a show and it absolutely delivered. For the past few years I’d watch WK and recommended matches but in in July I started following everything NJPW. That added investment made this WK special. Ibushi/Ospreay tore it up and I really hope Ibushi recovers soon. Jay White/Okada shocked me. Naito/Jericho was fucking brutal. And Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi was a match I was so invested in that I thought I was going to cry. If you haven’t checked out New Japan yet this show would make an excellent start. GO ACE!

Impact Homecoming (January 6) Impact has gotten pretty good. I’ve only seen a few of their most recent ppvs but it’s obvious that they have a wealth of talent and they’re willing to tell the kind of dumb stories that I really like. Since Homecoming was in Nashville I went and it was one of the best shows I’ve been to. The energy was insane all night and LAX vs Lucha Bros has to be the best match I’ve seen live. Now that they air on Twitch I’ve been following the weekly show and enjoying it quite a bit.

WWE Royal Rumble (January 27) I always love the rumble but the rumble was weird. Both rumble matches were okay but filled with dumb stuff and way too many recovery spots that were immediately deflated by the person getting eliminated. I like the winners. AJ/Daniel didn’t deliver like I wanted. Sasha and Ronda had a good match. I loved how Finn Balor worked Brock Lesnar’s diverticulitis. Fun show.

NXT UK Takeover Blackpool (January 12) NXT UK doesn’t really grip me aside from the women’s division. I liked this well enough but nothing really changed my mind. Finn Balor made a surprise appearance and he looked like such a star compared to everyone else. Excited to see what WALTER can do here though.

GCW 400 Degreez (January 12) GCW’s brand of hardcore indie nonsense is my absolute favorite. 400 Degreez isn’t the best they’ve done but it was full of disgusting beautiful deathmatch bullshit. Markus Crane vs Nate Webb especially.

NXT Takeover Phoenix (January 26) Takeover always delivers. Johnny Gargano vs Ricochet was definitely the match of the night. I don’t dig the War Raiders schtick but their match was great. Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler also killed it.

:::::::::: COMICS ::::::::::

One Piece by Eiichiro Oda (Volumes 1-10) I wanted something long to start reading so why not One Piece? Enjoying it so far. I like getting the crew together and Usopp’s story in particular is great. Oda is a master cartoonist. I love every time we get reaction faces.

Spider-Man: Fever by Brendan McCarthy Spider-Man fever got me wanting to revisit Spider-Man: Fever because I remember liking it. I still like it. Doctor Strange accidentally opens a doorway into a spider dimension and Spider-Man gets caught in Doctor Strange’s bathtub and the alternate dimension spiders take him. All this and McCarthy’s art make Fever pretty far out. 

Spider-Man 2099 by Peter David, Kelley Jones, and Rick Leonardi (1-15) Miguel O’Hara wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he had Peter Parker’s DNA put into him by weird future DNA machine and he wages war against the gigantic corporations that control everything. I like Spider-Man 2099. Miguel is so different from the Peter Parker archetype and he’s got claws and fangs. He’s brutal. It’s got a neat post-hero future kind of like Batman Beyond. I stopped reading because the next part is a crossover with Punisher 2099, Ravage 2099, Doom 2099, and X-Men 2099. I’ll hopefully pick it back up because I want to know what happens with the hologram that’s in love with Miguel. 

Spider-Man by Kazumasa Hirai & Ryoichi Ikegami Yu Komori was bitten by a radioactive spider and he definitely wishes he wasn’t. It starts off a lot like our usual Spider-Man but the villains are so much more tragic and Yu deals with some heavy shit. Ikegami’s art evolves from cartoony to serious as the tone of the book changes. He’s a really incredible artist who is consistently pulling neat tricks and trying new things. I really liked this and it may top my favorite Spider-Man comics. It’s just so bleak and unforgiving to poor Yu. By the way, the final plotline is exactly the same as the Sonny Chiba movie Wolf Guy. Turns out the comic that movie was based on was written by the same guy that write Spider-Man. An odd find.

:::::::::: VIDEOGAMES ::::::::::

Axiom Verge Had my eye on this for a long time and finally picked it up on sale on my Switch. It’s okay. There are a lot of clever ideas here that I don’t think work for me. But I do like the decorrupter and the teleport. Some of the movement feels great but some stuff like the grappling hook feels awful. I hate the story. Completely incoherent sci-fi nonsense. But it’s a fun game and I enjoyed my time with it.

Hollow Knight I’ve spent about 30 hours on this game and I feel like I’m close to the end of the story. I absolutely love it. The movement, the combat, and the exploration all feel excellent. I’ve played over ten metroidvanias in the past year (I really like them) and this might be the best. My favorite part about them is how you’re almost never wasting time because there are new secrets to discover all across the map and Hollow Knight does such a good job with that.

[wyblogging]

For the sake of posterity

and also so I don’t forget, myself, I’m looking back to sort out my positions on all divergent Ford and Bill theories and when they changed. 

Something is fucky.

Something to do with Mister Triangle.

Stan is not what he seems, these are the ten people required to either summon or defeat Bill. Initially suspected Stan, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Gideon, Robbie, and Thompson, plus four unknowns, with the hand referring either to the journals or their author.

Gideon refers to Stan as “Stanford”. My immediate response is that Gideon is being a pompous moron. I don’t know exactly when I first noticed the STNLYMBL license tag, but the only way this reaction makes sense is if it happened before that point. Regardless, I didn’t consider STNLYMBL to be important enough to be worth the mention. Even after this incident, I had basically zero doubt that Stan’s name was actually Stanley.

A certain Younger Stan makes his appearance at the Shack. I did not make any particular observation about the glasses at this time.

I did not take any note of the particular date on this book. Which sucks really, as a few episodes later I was casting about for any significance for the year 1982.

Real Stuff starts happening to change the status quo, and I embark on my Right For The Wrong Reasons path. There’s a hidden room in Stan’s house. He knows it’s there, and it clearly doesn’t contain anything that belongs to him, although it does have a bit more Cipher paraphernalia. 

Most important are the glasses though. The glasses that exactly match those on the Cipher zodiac, which are deliberately drawn in a distinct style from Stan’s glasses, and which, in retrospect, match Ford’s glasses from the time-travel segment. Stan knows exactly what they are, that much is clear, and he’s a little upset about whatever they signify. In my attempt to cast around for a theory I suggested that they might belong to his ex-wife, whose aim may or may not be getting better. The fact that the house was previously inhabited by a mad scientist of some sort becomes inescapable.

Stan continues to suppress anything remotely supernatural, and does as much damage control as he can to keep the secrets of the Shack safe. At this point I have him pegged as the likely leader of a pro-Cipher cult of some sort.

Alright. The episode where my interpretation and the general fandom’s differ most widely. But first, an uncontroversial observation. This is Young Stan, and he is not the man who opened the Shack door in the snow to investigate a strange noise. Cartoon tropes being what they are, though, he’s clearly a relative. 

In passing, these two incidents give a very interesting shade to Stan’s actions. He is not a prepper. He’s the scam artist selling the Brown Meat, not the rube buying it. His entire schtick is making peace with the supernatural and trying to ignore or hide it. 

He doesn’t do this.

I’ve been told that many of the off-key character moments in this episode were intended to be comic relief, but this is Gravity Falls. I wasn’t going to accept that answer then and I’m still a touch annoyed that I have to now.

The fact that Stan didn’t know anything consciously, despite this apparent smoking gun...yeah, I feel a little bit hung out to dry by the writers here.

A clear shot of STNLYMBL. There was no doubt in my mind, despite Gideon’s repeated exhortations to the contrary, that Stan’s name was Stanley.

The big one. I’d speculated for a long time that the Cipher eyes held some latent magical power, even without the triangle himself being present. It seems that the official Journal 3 release supports this idea to some extent, although to what degree is ambiguous. Numerous major conflicts had burst out in front of the one particular red-paned Cipher window in the attic, and this latest one felt inexplicable to me. Mabel doesn’t lash out at her BFFs. She just doesn’t. Even her temper tantrums take more of the form of creating Dippy Fresh than ripping down a poster and tearing it in half to signify the end of a friendship. And at the end of the incident, she openly admitted that she had no idea why she acted the way she did. Sure, it could be comic relief of some sort, or just an awkward off-character moment from the writers. But this is Gravity Falls. 

My theory that images of Cipher are able to inflame the passions of those around them, amplifying hostility and irrational behavior, remains intact and I stand by it. Especially given the echoes of this scene in the behavior of Stan and Ford during the zodiac scene of the finale, in the heart of Cipher’s temple to himself. I do not think Cipher can directly control people without their knowledge. But I think he clearly has some degree of subconscious passive influence, to bring certain chaotic responses to the forefront when they would be held in check otherwise.

Moving to the next episode, we finally get solid confirmation that Stan does, in fact, care about people other than himself. This was almost entirely up for debate for the first 17 episodes, and this was the beginning of the long road to me respecting Stan Pines as a person.

Dreamscaperers was a nuke. Everything changed, all at once. And it began with the confirmation that Stanford Pines is or was, in fact, a real person and not a figment of Gideon’s imagination. And that the Shack legally belonged, at one point, to him. I still had the strong feeling that Stan was duplicitous at heart, Stan is Not What He Seems on the brain, and with the Finders Keepers law clearly laid out, this document didn’t immediately sway me to the idea that Stan was Stanford. But it was on the radar screen.

This feels like the biggest fakeout of the entire show. This arrow and these three exclamation points cemented the idea that the author of the journals was also the owner of the glasses and the mystery room, who was the man at the door in The Time Traveler’s Pig. In light of the previous revelation that Stanford originally owned the shack, things started to fall into place. By the end of this episode, I would be set in the theory that the most likely explanation was that Stanford Pines was the missing author, and that Stan was an impostor of some sort.

The prepper stuff annoys me, sure. But this really was irritating. This was the missing piece to the puzzle, the thing that made everything else snap into place. What’s more, the canonical ending of the show makes this particular screenshot nonsense. Why would Ford care about these glasses, if they weren’t his goddamn glasses? Why wouldn’t he point out his six-fingered hand, for instance? I feel like something about the endgame was changed in a big way, not just after the introduction of the Zodiac in the first intro, but even in the time after the season 1 finale, because the line of clues involving the glasses just lead nowhere when that doesn’t make any sense at all.

This was the frame that cemented me in what ended up being the correct theory. And this one is pretty much on me. I looked at this image and saw glasses with an unevenly weighted frame, with a thick top bar. Those matched Ford’s glasses and the ones in the zodiac, but not Stan’s as they were drawn in season 1. Since I was on a kick of “The glasses are the key here”, the fact that Bill pulled up an image of what looked like the mystery room glasses in response to hearing the name “Stanford Pines” felt like ironclad confirmation to me. I was even willing to overlook the fez, as there was nothing suggesting at the time that it wasn’t Ford’s accessory before he disappeared. In hindsight, I was underestimating Bill’s familiarity with the situation. Much like Gideon, I might add.

The zodiac appears in canon for the first time. The glasses still are a fairly close match to the ones Ford’s been wearing.

Evidently this page contains a code that spells out that the machine is a portal and not a weapon. I had no such context, so the fandom was ahead of me at this point.

Stan’s big cliffhanger. I suspected something was up the instant I realized that Stan, not Dipper, had taken Gideon’s journal, although I still didn’t expect to see Stan pull out the missing first. This played into all of my conspiracy theories about Stan: he knows far more than he lets on, especially about Cipher; he’s deliberately trying to lead Dipper’s investigations astray; and he’s a doomsday cultist actively trying to bring about the end of the world. I still think this was a cynical but fair interpretation of the available evidence.

The six-fingered glove. Real evidence that wasn’t chasing phantoms, yet it went mostly unnoticed because it reinforced the theories I already had. 

The final piece of evidence before the big reveal. Stan’s monologue at the start of Not What He Seems, where he lapses into an almost verbatim Cipher quote, after Cipher had done the same to him regarding “Buy gold! Bye!” By this point I’d come to the realization as well that within 24 hours of Cipher being summoned by Gideon, Stan suddenly got his hands on both missing journals that had eluded him for thirty years to that point. At the time I still thought he was a willing participant. A dupe, maybe, but actively in league with Bill in one way or another. Now, I can’t help but see his actions as guided by Cipher and influenced by him. You don’t see characters repeating each other’s end-of-episode catchphrases without it being significant, especially not in Gravity Falls. I still stand behind this theory as well.

Anyway, for those of you still with me, that’s the recap of my theorycrafting for the unfolding Author mystery. It fell together very quickly at the end of season 1, based almost entirely on key pieces of evidence that ended up not being actual evidence at all. This series was...puzzling, that’s for sure.

[crusherthedoctor]

Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

[dancesontheedge]

I was just tagged in the 10 characters in 10 fandoms thing again, this time by @sagiow.  If you’ll recall, last time I was tagged I chose ten male characters from ten fandoms, with explanations. FIND IT HERE.  This time, it’s the ladies’ turn!  Again, there may be fic recs coming, and most of them will probably route you to ffn.  Again, these characters are presented in no particular order. Again, have a cut, because this is getting long.

Sandriline (Sandry) Fa Toren (Circle of Magic, Tamora Pierce)

Sandry is what I aspire to be.  She’s a community builder, who is able to pull people from all walks of life together into a shared purpose.  She is also quiet, and if somebody wasn’t paying attention they wouldn’t notice her there, doing what needs to be done.  She is careful and always brave, looking to make connections between people and unafraid to protect those she loves.  She is the Tamora Pierce heroine who is most like me as well, in several ways.  She is fine-boned and has light brown hair (which pleased 10-year-old me).  She feels the pull of duty strongly.  She also sews; as a stitch witch her talents lay in the traditionally feminine.  It was also recently confirmed, by Tammy herself, that Sandry is asexual, just like me.

Sybil Crawley (Downton Abbey)

Sybil is a force of nature.  I fell for Sybil when she decided that she was going to help Gwen get a secretary job, come hell or high water.  That sort of solidarity and lack of concern for “propriety” made me love her.  That she turned out to be a little rebel with little patience for nonsensical societal rules was just icing on the cake.  What enchants me about Sybil is how much she cares for others, and her lack of selfishness in doing so.  It would have been far easier for Sybil to allow Gwen to give up-- that way, Gwen would always be there as a friend.  It would have been far easier for Sybil to not even try to be a nurse.  It would have been far easier for Sybil to not fight at all, but she fought.

The Clover Among the Poppies. By The Yankee Countess.  Sybil is a nurse on the western front instead of at Downton.  She meets Tom while he serves as an ambulance driver. Where Women Roll and Men Thunder. By foojules.  Modern AU.  Sybil is on Holiday in Australia when she meets Tom, a car mechanic, in the middle of nowhere. Driving Lessons by MrsTater.  Tom teaches Sybil to drive, s1. Hollowing Stone by shuofthewind.  Soulmate AU, with much introspection, angst, and friendship-- exactly as it should be.  s1.

Emma Green (Mercy Street)

From episode 1, I knew that Emma was going to be my favorite.  She is such a complicated character, and I think her growth over the course of the two seasons we have of Mercy Street is quite realistic.  She goes from naive and willful daughter of the Confederacy to a practiced Union nurse, struggling to overcome the prejudices that have been ingrained in her since birth.  She has setbacks, and wants things to go back to the way they were before, when she was comfortable and her family was happy.  She spends a large amount of time trying to deny that everything has changed. The Emma that we see is wracked with growing pains as she realizes that things are not as she thought.  I can’t let this turn into an Emma Green meta.  Just.  I love her.

This fandom is sufficiently small that you can find all of it pretty quickly.  If you want to read some of my takes though, you can find me on AO3 as dancingontheedge

Natasha Romanoff (MCU)

Natasha Romanoff is fascinating.  She’s a chameleon, a spy trying to work for the good of others and sometimes failing.  She is determined and witty and *sad*.  It’s so sad, she has lost everything.  Her tragic backstory is so truly tragic, and that she still has the faith to even try to do good is impressive.  Also, she’s amazingly badass.

A Widow’s Tale Series by Mhalachai.  Basically a long, plotty character study, all about Natasha.  Minor crossover with Stargate.  Nat/Bucky.  Not WS compliant. Bringing the War Home Series by dirgewithoutmusic.  I’m gonna go ahead and rec the entire series, even though only two of the fics are about Nat.  Because everyone needs women of the MCU character studies in their life. Freezer Burn series by Domenika Marzione.  Comics/MCU mashup that follows a different Avenger in each of the major stories. Freezer Burn follows Steve, Thaw follows Clint, Revenant follows Nat.

Leia Organa (Star Wars)

I could hardly make this list without discussing my first love, Leia Organa.  Leia who was funny and witty and smart.  Leia who fought the empire and won.  Leia who was always on top of her game, even when she wasn’t.  Looking at her now, I can see that she triumphed over incredible personal loss, survived torture, and still continued to lead.  She never lost faith or hope that anyone could see.  She didn’t have the luxury.  Five-year-old me didn’t see that.  Didn’t see Leia’s struggle.  She only saw the strong, smart, kind, beautiful princess that Leia projected.  And that was enough.  Leia was a leader, and she was never afraid.  And what more could a five year old hope for in a role model?

Chloe Sullivan (Smallville)

I haven’t much to say about Chloe, but she was the best thing about Smallville.  Well, her and the naming of “Chronic Good Guy Disease.”  Chloe was curious and smart and always on top of everything.  She was ambitious, and when her ambition to be an investigative journalist was derailed she didn’t let it slow her down for long.  She kept using her skills to do good in the world, even if it wasn’t the way she intended.

Everything by BlueSuedeShoes, but especially Extraordinarily Ordinary and Never a Bride

Aly Homewood (Tortall, Tamora Pierce)

What a badass.  She is the perfect spymaster, poised to take down the corrupt imperialist regime and replace them with the true leaders.  Her story is a rollicking good time, if you like revolutionary intrigue.  And she’s just so smart and calculating and fabulous?  One of the first things that we see her do, for example, is get in a fight in the slave pen, before the auction.  Her purpose: to look like trouble and appear less pretty, to avoid being purchased as a pleasure slave.  She’s lucky, and it works. That’s what I’m talking about.  She’s brilliant. (read about Aly in Trickster’s Choice and Trickster’s Queen by Tamora Pierce)

Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)

What happened to Veronica before season 1 scares me to my bones.  It’s up there in worst nightmare territory.  But you know, she handled it.  She got tough, and she got even.  It’s not a particularly healthy way to live, but it’s a good way to survive the hellscape that was Neptune High.  I’m more like long-hair, pale-pink Veronica than biting, vengeful Veronica, but she’s smart, she’s tough, she’s good at what she does.  And what she does is *good.*  Veronica Mars helps people, she solves their problems.  So even though she’s jaded and bitter and angry, she’s still good.  And that makes her fascinating.

Death Becomes Him by Mediancat.  AU in which Aaron Echolls dies in Echolls Family Christmas, with requisite ripples. LoVe His Friend Too by arbailey.  AU in which Veronica discovers Lilly with Aaron before the events of the series.  Focus on Logan and Veronica as friends (then more) and how Veronica confronts Lilly’s bad behavior with Lilly still alive. Some Truths Hurt by jenwin23.  AU in which Veronica gets Duncan’s journals in Echolls Family Christmas, with requisite reveals and ripples.  Only fic I’ve ever enjoyed reading in script format.

Rogue (X-Men)

Rogue can’t touch anyone.  That’s it, that’s her schtick.  And it’s heartbreaking, and heartrendingly relatable.  That’s why I love Rogue.  She can’t touch anyone, and it hurts my heart.  Also, it makes for some suuuper USTy romy fic, and that’s the best thing ever.

Absolutely Maybe by Tamarai.  Arranged Marriage AU.  Wolverine and the X-Men ‘verse Collision of Coincidence by Tamarai.  Rogue hires Remy to be her boyfriend after Bobby insists they make their relationship an open one.  Movie ‘verse, non-cure ending, not Origins Wolverine compliant Squeaky and Stripes by Chellerbelle.  In order to save the life of a rapidly de-aging Remy, Rogue absorbs him.  When they wake up, they are both thirteen years old.  They go through puberty again, together, and wind up falling in love.  Slow burn.  Movie ‘verse, Origins Wolverine compliant. Queen’s High by PrettyGothGirl.  To prevent Rogue from killing a cheating Bobby, Logan sends her on a recruiting mission-- convince Remy to join the x-men.  Movie ‘verse, non-cure ending, not Origins Wolverine compliant.

Mulan (Disney’s Mulan)

Everyone knows who Mulan is, yes?  Good.  I like her because she’s tough, because she doesn’t quite fit, she feels compelled by duty and honor to do things, she loves her family.  And she dresses up as a soldier and is a complete badass.

Soldier by FearandLoathingXIX.  Takes place during the “Be a Man” musical number.  An exploration of thoughts, feelings, character growth, and badassery