#since technically they do have feelings for each other but they'll never get together

[industria-adastra]

[WMMAP] - Magnum Opus: It's sad to be at the bottom of life, right? (4/5)

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Summary: It's amazing, really, how quickly love can turn to hate. Or maybe, it hadn't been love after all.

Note: Recently, I've gotten into Hazbin Hotel again. I ended up adding more stuff to the latter half of the original chapter 3 that I cut. I hope you like it, intended audience of maybe two people.

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There is a man who is always present in these events. A man who always hangs about on the fringes of the ever-increasingly elaborate parties in Jennette’s name, observing within the shadows. Athanasia finds him to look disturbingly similar to her father, even if she brushes off their similarities time and time again. And like her father, as she discovers in an accidental bump, he reeks of the magic that the Obelian royal family seems inexplicably chained to. 

She goes searching within the records, and already, his face appears only a generation away. Yet, Anastacius de Alger Obelia had been long dead, hadn’t he? But Athanasia has long learned to not believe in coincidence. Something strange is afoot. Will he become a test of what she’d do for her family?

At another ball, another celebration for Jennette, his dark gaze turns to her, and his eyes flash jewel blue, and, oh,  Athanasia understands now.

(She’s never tried spilling blood with her own hands)

Stiffening as he leisurely walks over, Athanasia’s mind rushes through potential actions she could take. On one hand, she could alert everyone within the vicinity, especially Lord Robaine, about her uncle truly living up to his name. On the other hand, remembering the bitter twist of his lips, staring at Father and her sister, Athanasia stalls.

(Perhaps it is a good idea, with the pressure of twisted magic she hadn’t truly noticed the strength of before. Something's wrong.)

Her vision blurs, watching him steadily walk over, the light clicks of his shoes like a war drum against her ears. His clothes don't seem to fit, a strange, ever-changing amalgamation of fluttering robes and crisp formal wear. His hair is neat and carefully tousled, and his hair is shaggy and unkempt.

(There is something deeply wrong about this man)

“It’s annoying, isn’t it, not being the golden child everyone loves?” It’s as if two people are asking this of her, with a strange mix of amusement, cold pity and understanding within his (their?) eyes. 

(Something about him is wrong, wrong, wrong)

Athanasia opts not to reply, shifting her gaze elsewhere. It’s a question loaded with enough weight to topple an empire. She’s quite sure that what that man means by ‘annoying’ is not as light as it sounds.

“I see,” his eyes move to catch her gaze. 

Before he moves to turn away, they give some last few parting words that render Athanasia stock stiff in her heels.

“I can’t wait to see what happens when you break alongside your ghoul of a mother, my dearest niece.” 

"Dearest descendant of mine."

The phrases overlap together, and before she can even blink, before she can let go of a tense breath, a body moves into her field of vision, blocking her view. Athanasia stumbles forward, hand outstretched to politely shift it away. But when it moves, they are already gone.

(It's as if they've vanished into thin air)

After that fateful encounter, Athanasia never sees him appear at another ball ever again. 

She wonders if she should have ever told her father about this meeting.

Then again, with his constant state of apathy and ennui during their regularly scheduled tea times with Jennette concerning anything relating to her, Athanasia wonders if it’ll simply pass through his ears like white noise.

-

Ever since the first one, the tea parties Jennette tries to host for the three of them are always painfully awkward. This one is no exception. Athanasia is eighteen now, and all that’s changed is Jennette’s choice of tea and snacks—this year is chamomile and imported sweets from Siodonna.

The overpowering taste of sugar accompanies the taste of rose. Paired with the chamomile, it verges on being too sweet. 

Without a need to contribute to the current conversation (consisting of Jennette rambling and her father barely even looking like he’s paying attention—he looks perpetually drowsy these days), Athanasia finds her attention turning to Bluey’s recovery. He keeps shedding feathers all over the place, and sometimes his muscles lock together involuntarily. Sustaining a life is harder than keeping it in stasis. She can’t push too much magic in, and neither can she give too little. Yet, there is no predefined value to sustain—there’s an unknown sequence yet to be found. She needs to find it soon.

“Just yesterday, I went to see Ijekiel—”

Clank. Athanasia’s teacup strikes its saucer perhaps a bit too harshly, rudely cutting off Jennette’s words. Because of that, she offers an awkward, sheepish smile to her audience of two. 

“My apologies for that, but I’ve suddenly realised that I have some rather urgent matters to resolve back in the Ruby Palace.” As she speaks, Athanasia moves out of her seat, ready to leave. “Please, have a wonderful rest of the day.”

(It isn’t as if they’d notice her anyway)

 “O-oh! Of course, we will! Right, Father?” At that, Claude only stares at her silently, yet all Athanasia can see from his eyes is apathy—a passive gaze with nothing attached. “I hope it’s nothing too serious…”

By then, Athanasia had already started to walk away.

(She wonders why she thought they’d call after her)

-

It all happens in a flash. Jennette, chatting with her amiably about the latest fashions and Ijekiel’s latest romantic gesture. And to clear her throat, she takes a sip of tea. But as she opens her mouth to speak again, her blue eyes widen, her mouth forms an “o” in surprise, and Jennette coughs up crimson blood before she collapses to the ground. The sound of breaking porcelain resounds as it crashes onto the ground.

Not even a second passes by and Athanasia has already rushed towards her, heart pounding in her ears. How will she explain this to her father? How had she been so lax in her vigilance? How had she been so blind as not to notice poison? Why Jennette? Why her? Her mana rushes out in an attempt to heal Jennette but she can’t properly do so if she has no idea what has been affected. What had Jennette ingested within the tea? Athanasia’s hands shake in terror as she scoops Jennette into her arms. 

“HELP!” She screams, heavy breaths coming out as tears start to flow. “HELP! SOMEONE, PLEASE! ANYBODY! THE FIRST PRINCESS HAS BEEN POISONED!” Fearfully, Athanasia's eyes dart around, catching the eyes of a nearby maid, whose mouth is wide open in shock.

"What are you doing?! Go! Go get help now!" Athanasia so rarely ever raised her voice, but right now, she’d scream herself hoarse, scream herself mute if it’d save Jennette. 

Luckily for the maid, she quickly runs off toward the royal doctors. But now, there is nothing to do but wait, nothing to do but watch as the blood trickles down from Jennette’s mouth. Sweat is already building on her skin, and all Athanasia can do is hold her close and make sure Jennette doesn’t unconsciously choke on her blood. Jennettee’s eyes are still open, but Athanasia thinks that she cannot bear to close them, even for Jennette’s later comfort. As her heart continues to race, Athanasia finds that the only thing she can do is silently lament to her mother, and pray in her heart that all will be alright.

There is blood on her clothes. 

-

When Jennette is taken away to be treated, Athanasia finally collapses from the stress of it all. Yet when she wakes up, she sees neither the old, yet comforting walls of her room. What she sees are the grey stone walls; what she smells is the rotten stink of excretion and urine; what she hears is the rhythmic clanking of metal armour and the scurrying of rats. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that she’s in the dungeons—as unfamiliar as it should be.

There is still blood on her clothes. There is still blood on her hands. It’s brown and crusted and stinks of iron and Athanasia thinks she hears a woman weeping. Her gaze darts around, trying to see if her mother is here. If she was, Athanasia could get an explanation. If she was, Athanasia could have some comfort in this sudden new insanity.

But her mother is not here, and Athanasia is alone. There’s not much else to do but sit and wait.

And just a few moments later, her answers come in the form of three individuals. Duke Alpheus, Countess Rosalia, and last of all shadowed by the badly lit rooms but still standing out so strongly—the Emperor, her father. The three of them stare down upon her dirtied form with closed expressions (and what she can always recognise as barely hidden disdain). 

Athanasia decides to focus on her father. Not that it was hard to. 

“Your Majesty?” 

No reply. 

Athanasia tries again. “Is Jennette alright? Is she safe now?”

Instead of her father’s even monotone, it’s Countess Rosalia’s sharp, nearly squawking, shrieking vocals which answer her. “Jennette is safe from you, Your Highness.” She spits those words out venomously, almost triumphantly. 

It doesn’t take a one-in-a-million genius to understand what has happened.

Still, Athanasia tries to keep her calm, “What do you mean, Countess? You, of all people, should know that false accusations towards royalty are tantamount to treason.” Better to be blunt and be done with it.

This time, it is the Duke who speaks, looking down upon her between narrowed eyes, “Your Highness, there is no need for any more pretence. It has been found that you were the one who poisoned Jennette.” Prim and proper in his shiny white clothes and his always meticulously coiffed hair; in the depths of her heart, Athanasia couldn’t understand how a man like Ijekiel could be his son.

“And what evidence do you have to prove your claims?” Athanasia has learnt to smile like how Raven bares his teeth; sharp and quick, a warning to go no further. If there is anything else she’s learnt from Ijekiel’s friendship, it is that a smile grants both mystery and versatility. “Proper procedure states that I have the right to be subject to a fair trial, and a right to know upon what grounds you base such accusations on.”

She watches the countess artfully swing her fan up into a waiting hand, only to snap it open with a violent elegance. “Your Highness, there is no need for such tedious procedures when your guilt is crystal clear for everyone to see.”

Like a part of a two-headed snake, the Duke adds his venomous spit to the mix, “Out of jealousy, you dared to poison your own sister for your own shortcomings.”

“This is more fact than fiction—countless witnesses can prove to you that I had no idea what would happen to Jennette.”

“And countless witnesses can also prove that you’ve always harboured such envious hatred for your own sister. How wicked you are, to take away her fiancé—to take away my son—and now to take away her life.”

Still, Athanasia continues to stay calm. Her father would surely intervene at some point, wouldn’t he? “You must be mistaken, Ijekiel and I are merely friends. He is my future brother-in-law, and it would make no sense to alienate myself from him. And I care dearly for Jennette. I would do no such thing when it would only bring her pain.”

“But your actions speak louder than your words, Your Highness. Such pretty lies may come easily to you, given your blood, but we both know that you purposefully seduced him. Just like that crass, low-class whore you were born from.” The woman sneers, edging threateningly closer.

Athanasia snaps. She rushes to the bars, slamming into them with a strength and speed all too abnormal for a girl her size and age. Taking advantage of their foolish arrogance, she takes the opportunity to grab at their disgustingly extravagant clothes, bringing them eye to eye, and knocking their heads painfully on the steel bars. 

(They tell her to not let go, to keep moving, to keep shaking. Until they are but bloodied flesh and broken bones and as filthy as their tongues are. Better off as fodder, better off to be used for something grander than they could ever be.)

“Keep my mother out of your mouth! How can you be so sure that such a miscarriage of justice will—!”

“Be silent.” Finally, he speaks. His mana collapses onto her like that of a dying star, forcing her to let go, forcing her back onto the ground. But while it is painful, it is more bearable than the knowledge that her father simply did not care.

Ignoring the bodies quickly scrambling behind his protection, the Emperor simply comments, “Have you finished your petty tantrum?”

For the first time in her life, she gawks at him, at his apathy and unchanged expression. From the look on his face, Athanasia knows that he will never change his mind. He will never change his mind for her because he does not care. 

She’s known this for so long, and yet, and yet it still hurts.

And just like that, her verdict—her guilt—is decided just like that. She has blood on her hands because it is the word of the Emperor—Sun of the Empire, a ruler before he is her father (as it should; as it shouldn’t be so). Athanasia bites down harshly on her lips, casting her gaze on the stone floors, and nary a sound is allowed to escape. She wants to rage, wants to scream, wants to reach beyond the steel bars and tear at the cloth near her father’s feet—to beg for an explanation, to defend herself, to harshly refute her claims.

Who had she loved dearly all this time? Who had she worked for to the bone to gain just the slightest bit of approval and notice? Who had she idolised as perfection even as it was so clear that he was nothing but a statue carved out of ice? Her father—

(The child will die. He will kill her, like he slaughtered them, watching them breathe their last. She is her child my child our only child. She must live.)

Her mother’s cold hands tether her to reality, and Athanasia does none of that. 

“Breathe,” Diana says, right on time, pressing atop her, enclosing Athanasia within her arms. “Not in front of the Duke and the Countess, Dear. Later, when it’s safer, Mama will be here. You know Mama will always be here for you.”

Right.

She has always had her mother. Always had Lily and Raven. And now she has Jennette and Ijekiel.

It is enough. (It must be; She wants a father.)

Athanasia forces herself to hold it in, to stare straight into her father’s eyes and say, “Your Majesty is as efficient as always. Will there be a further investigation into this incident? After all, Your Majesty, efficiency without accuracy is just another way to describe sloppy work.” She smiles, ignoring the subtle shock and outrage—the lovely confusion—on the Duke and Countess.

“...You are the primary suspect. It will be enough to make an example of you.” Always putting in the most minimal of effort when it came to her. 

“I see. Then may I know if you have settled on a date for the execution?” Even now, she couldn’t let herself look any less insanely perfect in front of him. Even now, she still loves him—but perhaps no longer like that of a follower and their god. After all, gods cannot be flawed.

Unreadable as always, her father so graciously lets her know when she’ll die by his hand. “The dawn of the 8th day.” Cold, clipped—he doesn’t even seem to register that it’ll be her birthday. By the sun, moon, and stars—what a joke. This is the most attention he’s ever truly given to her.

After that, he’s already turning his back on her, moving towards the exit. The Duke and the Countess cast her cold, calculating looks before they scurry after him (like the rats they were).

When they finally leave, out of sight, out of mind, Athanasia finally allows herself to collapse into her mother’s ready arms. She shakes, she sobs, and she cries—but Athanasia still does not let a single sound escape. How unfair it is, to mourn something she never had from the start.

There is blood on her hands, but it is because of someone else.

(Athanasia doesn’t want to die.

“You won’t,” her mother promises with a whisper. “We’ll make sure of it.”)

-

“How far will you go for Diana’s—my child?”

“Anything for Athanasia,” the nanny’s sea blue eyes look straight ahead, resolute. 

“Even your life?”

“If it must be so.”

-

On the second day of her imprisonment, Raven brings him a thick, tattered book. It is hard to hide large secrets, but having grown up as an Alpheus, hiding them is but second nature to him. 

Drunk off his victory, his father grows sloppy—perhaps even mad, judging from the strange one-man dialogue he occasionally hears coming from his office. (Before…everything, they had conversed about noise-cancelling magic before.) His father’s lack of care is a boon when Ijekiel knows his actions will tear into the tapestry of success his father had so carefully woven.

He remembers being told that to love is to wish for someone’s success and happiness—to do all you could to ensure their dreams would come true.

Ijekiel thinks that to love is also to do all you can to stop someone from going past that line in the sand, the precarious precipice of no return.

Then again, he muses on the seventh night, sorting through all the information about guard rotations, patrol routes, floor plans and the like—it’s not even the most damning action of his right now. Ijekiel raises a hand to press lightly against his sternum, feeling the heavy weight of the key, the rough texture of the iron, even though it’s buried underneath all the layers of his clothing.

A haunting birdsong trickles in the open window, and Ijekiel stops to turn and gaze at the moonlight.

He thinks that, perhaps, also, to love is to be willfully ignorant.

-

Ever since her verdict had been so kindly handed down to her by her father, Athanasia’s days are now spent in the dungeon, rather than in the comfort of the library or her room. There are no books to read, so she spends time talking to her mother, practising the spells stitched into her memories. However, without Raven, they’re weaker, barely sparks yet still clearly noticeable. Strangely, no guard ever seems to be able to perceive any such practice; eyes glazed over every time. Nor are there shackles on her limbs, binding her down like an animal. She won’t question it, instead preparing for a hypothetical scenario in which she’s free.

(Mother had promised her.)

She’s sure that the guards all think she’s mad from shock. They look at her with disgusted pity and gossip about her as if she can’t hear at all. But their loose tongues help her hold onto the outside world.

Jennette is in a coma. For all their talk of family, she surmises that the most precious child of both the Countess and the Duke is power. Her father spends most of his time working. Athanasia supposes that there’s much to do when you’re executing a direct member of the royal family. Morbidly, she wonders if the Black Tower magicians would want her body for their research. Lily is that “crazy palace maid” who begs to be heard every day (no news on how her father reacted to it—but such a case is one where Athanasia sincerely prays that her father’s apathy will outweigh any annoyance, that Lily’s noble family will take her out of harm’s way before the worst can come to pass). 

Raven and Bluey are both missing (something’s coming). And Ijekiel… Last she heard, he’d been the picture-perfect fiancé, periodically visiting Jennette like clockwork every day.

At the same time, Athanasia gets a single stem of flowers each day. She wonders if Duke Alpheus knows about them.

Goldenrod, purple heliotrope, blue verbena, pink gladiolus, blue periwinkle, an iris suspiciously dusted with fur and downy feathers.

When will it be the hour of their flight?

“Wait and see, it’ll be like a fairytale,” her mother says, dancing all the while. “In the meantime, show me how you weave your magic again, Athy.”

-

It is cold within the dungeons. Athanasia will surely die tomorrow if nothing short of a miracle occurs. And yet, there is no worry in either her heart or her soul. Her mother had promised her, and to love, for Athanasia, was to devote and believe—to have utmost faith.

(She wonders what her father’s idea of love is—indulgence? A passive acceptance not too far from apathy? At least she knows that her mother’s love is undying, from beyond the grave. Lily’s love is steadfast and loyal, always trying to make the best of things. Ijekiel’s is inherent in every action, every move. Jennette’s is puppy-like, endearing.)

Athanasia hums as she finishes the final touches on her flowery bracelet, sliding it over her wrist with a sense of pride. The flowers are ill-suited to be bound this way, but such perversions of reality and logic are what magic is for. From behind, her mother gently combs out the knots in her hair with deft fingers, plaiting and pinning until all of Athanasia’s golden hair is safely pinned up.

“The midnight hour comes soon, Dear—Eumiellia’s always said that it’s the perfect hour for some…mischief.” Her mother says in a sing-song tone, drawing her up on her feet and guiding her to watch the way the light on the dungeon corridors starts to change and grow. In the depths of the Empire’s bowels, the echo of the nearing footsteps rings louder and louder in her mind.

Someone is coming.

“Is it time to go now?” Athanasia asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I already said it’s the perfect hour, Athy.” So they wait. It doesn’t take long for Athanasia to realise that alongside the light footsteps, another pair of feet pad forth as well. Excitement bubbles in her chest—she’s heard those footsteps before.

Athanasia sees Bluey first, the stitched bluebird squeezing between the bars to nuzzle into her awaiting hands, before leaping into flight once more.

Raven is next, her book grasped firmly in her mouth. Already, Athanasia can feel the electric rush of mana, from a steady trickle to rushing rapids. Were it not for the anti-teleportation wards, she probably could be free already. 

“I hope you don’t mind the lack of white horses, Your Highness.”

All of a sudden, she feels lightheaded, warm. “Ijekiel?” She breathes out, staring disbelievingly at his hooded figure, the glint of his golden eyes. He smiles back at her, taking out a key from underneath his collar. 

“The one and only, Athanasia.” Her door unlocks, and he reaches out to tug her forward into a tight hug, holding her so tightly and so closely that Athanasia can feel the skin of his neck, and smell the scent of his skin. “Did you like my message? I learnt it from the book about Obelia’s flower language we read together every February.”

“I didn’t expect—”

“That I’d be doing this in person? I don’t trust anyone else with your safety. After all, you’re my…friend.”

Athanasia finally hugs back, squeezing her arms around Ijekiel tightly. Her eyes squeeze shut with unshed tears. “I’m glad you’re my friend too. But what I meant was that I didn’t expect you to mean you were going to conduct a jailbreak.”

“Well, a nobleman should always have many skills.”

“Jennette is lucky to have you.” She feels Ijekiel tense momentarily in her arms, The break in conversation appears to drag on, long and uncomfortable, before she hears him let out a sigh.

“She’s lucky to have you as well,” he says in return, before seemingly tacking on as an afterthought, “as a sister.” At those words, he releases her from his grasp, pulling away, only to come close once more to wrap a dark cloak around her shoulders. His hands rest on her shoulders, and Athanasia isn’t sure if he realises how tightly he’s gripping her.

“We should get going now. The guards won’t stay out for long.”

“Are you coming with me?” They both know it’s a stupid question; both know what the answer will be; both know that she will never truly mean it. 

Ijekiel doesn’t reply, but his wistful gaze is enough. 

Athanasia smiles, and it is small, almost sad, as she makes a request of him, “Take care of her for me, and for her own sake, alright?” Gripping the front of the cloak, she looks off into the dark distance, the unknown of her impending freedom. “Politics was never her strong suit.”

“Of course, as Her Highness asks.” Ijekiel chokes out the words, and he lets go of her shoulders, turning away and towards the dungeon’s exit. “I’ll escort you to that place—as long as you can get out of here, you’ll be able to leave the palace, right?”

“Yes.”

And so out they go, past the numerous cells and past the unconscious guards, from the darkness, to the moonlight. The night air tastes of freedom; walking on the stone paths, past the patrolling guards, feels like a kind of liberation. Her magic wraps around them like a shield as they make their way to the place where they’d both realised they’d fallen in love with the sun. 

As they stand below the tree, Athanasia finds herself reluctant to truly say goodbye to him. 

So she doesn’t.

“Tell Lily I said goodbye, please?” The magic swirls around her feet, building, building to a crescendo, changing the colour of her hair, the colour of her eyes—held high in the air by a single thread of hesitation. 

Ijekiel cannot tear his eyes away from her. It’s only through sheer strength of will that he holds back from reaching out once more. “If it’s you, there’s no need to ask.” 

Athanasia smiles, bright and true, and she turns away. “I’m glad I met you, Ijekiel.” Her magic swallows her up, leaving not a trace, not even a spark.

It’s as if she were never there in the first place.

He speaks to the empty air, hand outstretched. “I’m glad I met you too, Athy.”

-

Athanasia jumps from inn to inn, hiding in plain sight, making sure to cycle through a number of features wherever she goes, obfuscating the Imperial guards’ search for her. Above all, she likes it best when her eyes are either pink or blue; when her hair is blonde or brown. Through it all, her heart crashes about in her chest, thrashing about in her ribcage even as she refuses to think about how she’s being hunted down like a criminal by her own father. Money (golden and shining and reliable in a way her father never truly was) is never tight due to her magic. Still, Athanasia is starved of genuine interaction with anyone but her mother. Yet it’s all too risky even to fathom making an acquaintance when she knows they’ll all bind her in chains if they ever know who she is.

Her mother helps as best as she can, whispering in her ear about the innkeeper was starting to become suspicious, or what rumours were being circulated here and there—helping her avoid areas where people are most keen to turn in the abominable villainess who’d harmed their beloved Princess (never her, never Athanasia, it was always, always Jennette who’d be so loved and accepted by all). Athanasia is oh-so careful, living as if she were dead, waiting, waiting, waiting as she always did.

Until she sees the body strung from a rope in the town square.

Horrifically injured, it is covered in a damaged maid’s dress, and matted brown hair covers its eyes. But Athanasia recognises the bend of those limp hands, the careful embroidery lining the apron and the skirt, the unseen tie so horribly torn and broken like her heart. Her breath feels uneven, all too loud for her ears in an environment that seems to press down on her. Mother’s ghostly arms pull at her as gently firm as can be, but Athanasia cannot bring herself to move. There is a scream stuck in her throat, and it claws with an animalistic ferocity to be let out. 

Faintly, she thinks that Ijekiel would’ve labelled this as the protagonist’s tipping point.

-

Lily is dead.

Mama confirms it too, with all the coldness and stiffness of flash-frozen water, the absence of spirit, her soul.

Not even days after she’s started running away, does she see the still corpse swaying in the air in front of her eyes. It’s already started the process of decay, the white pallor that marks her as gone having already overtaken her skin. Not to mention the unmistakable hole in her chest, the browning stains of blood on her always impeccably clean uniform, the doll-like stiffness of her body, and Lily cannot be dead because her Father hates her so but he is not a madman bereft of morals (as long as it does not involve her) he is a cold but stiff, still just ruler (as long as it does not involve her) because because because—

It had been fine as long as it was only her who bore the weight of such cruel apathy. 

Claude de Alger Obelia, emperor of Obelia, tyrant of Obelia has, had, killed Lily.

Her mama lays her hands upon her shoulders, ice-cold and sub-zero degrees burning Athanasia’s skin like a hot iron brand. Memories gleaned rush into her mind 

And he would pay.

He would pay for it. He had to pay for it. There were consequences to every action, everything you took from the world. Whether it was forcing the creation of your imagination into life, speeding up natural processes of growth, or ripping away a life unfinished. There was always, always, a price to pay. Equivalent exchange. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A life for a life.

And Athanasia would become his debt dealer. His Thanatos, pounding, clawing at his door. 

She could fix this. Athanasia was a fool and a horribly, terribly blind idiot with a brain rotted with desire but she could fix this because if her Mama could come back to her so could Lily, and then she could apologise for being such a stupid stupid child. Everything would be back to normal. Back to the imperfect (no, they were perfect and unblemished) days of simply lazing around as a true family.

Lily wasn’t gone yet.

And Athanasia would make sure that she stayed, for good. Forever.

All she needs to do is prepare the stage, erase a few eyesores and tidy up this mess.

(The light of the torches cast long shadows as she took one step and another forward)

For that, her first order of business is to take back Lily’s body.

-

Early morning comes with the herald of the confusion of the masses.

(Poor, ignorant souls who have yet to realise what will be wrought upon their world)

The body of the example, the unremarkable maid of an unloved princess no longer hung from the noose. Only a snapped rope, roughly cut off from the rest of it, lay hanging from the wood.

Someone had taken the body, but who? Who would dare defy the order of the Sun of Obelia, Emperor Claude de Alger Obelia?

And within the shadows, a girl began crafting. Smoothing over blemishes, re-building foundations, and making once wrongs become rights. She fixes and repairs and improves because it is all for Lily’s sake. Lily must not come back in pain. She must come back to a body that knows no pain and will never know pain ever again.

But because it must be perfect (it must be, it had to be because she had to make up for it somehow and she knows it’s not enough but—), because she will accept no flaw, Athanasia needs practice. More practice than little animals and plants in various states of decay. Better practice than that. She needs people. 

(People who will surely, surely join her, who will always live up to her expectations. Because they will be reborn and reshaped to fit them.)

Athanasia always works hard for those she loves. Will always work hard for them and those she has yet to love. Because she is a starving child, and she will devour everything even if she’s full. So in return, she’ll do anything.

She gently thumbs the closed eyelids of a most remarkable maid, knowing that beyond them are dull blue eyes. It isn’t right for them to be such a colour. Her hand goes to her face to trace soft lines just below her jewel-blue eyes. That colour is a physical connection of “family”, an invisible thread tying them together. 

He didn’t deserve to have such a colour. Its beauty—wasted on him.

It’s a colour that Lily deserves so much more than him.

And Athanasia knows she can fix it. 

She has to.

[reinedeslys-central]

"Hey, man," Percy's voice lifted over on his left before he felt the tell-tale thwump of his hand landing on his shoulder.

"You got a minute? Let's get drinks, on me-" and so Grover finds himself led away from his project for the tenth time this week, because he would never say no to his best friend if it wasn't something Important.

Miles later, when so much time has passed that neither of them are willing to check the clock, Percy's eyes flicker towards him, but he doesn't look at him. Instead, he looks up out the window to the sky, rapidly darkening but still light out in that inescapable, metropolis way.

"Grover."

"Hmm?"

"Sorry, no, it's-.." Grover angles his body towards him, not sure where Percy is in his mind but not so surprised, either. He sighs.

"Percy."

Percy's eyes lift to his for a breath of a second, then skitter away.

"Grover, was I too much?"

Too - too much? He feels his eyebrows bunch together as he mulls it over. He's not so gauche as to ignore what Percy might be implying here, but he's not so sure anymore.

They don't talk about it much, those years between them now that they can't catch up to. Something slipped and fell and broke, maybe, but with all those conversations they've forced themselves to have, they figured most of it out, he thinks. Enough to know they both still love each other, obviously. Enough to know they never stopped.

Also enough to know they have to say so, when they don't understand each other. Sometimes being blunt stops the ship from sinking, or whatever. So that's what he does.

"Percy. Can you - elaborate. Elaborate, I'm serious, I'm basically drunk by now - "

"Was I too much for you, though?" Percy sounds far away, gazing through the window again. Like he's not here, in Grover's apartment, drunk on cheap beer that he bought that neither of them really like but use as an excuse to see each other when there's no other obvious thing to do, and six hours away from the things they're really supposed to be doing.

"It's nothing - or, well, it is something, I just - you know they preserve all those old messages and things on those servers these days, right? And I was going through those old messages. And I know - I was looking back too, a couple years after, you know, and I just - it was everything. It's not - it seems so simple, and I can't tell if I'm overreacting or underreacting, and looking back now I should've stopped always texting like that and let you go sooner -"

"Hey." He cuts Percy off, because - fuck. Hell, no. He gets what he's talking about now. Percy's friendship style has always been a little - not clingy, exactly, almost so respectful and vulnerable that sometimes it tripped the line into - exactly, 'too much' - but he's not going to say that. He's biased. He won't. He won't hurt him like that. Not just because it's not the whole truth, but also because he knows that if he gives Percy's insecurities an inch, they'll really be miles away by morning.

Anyways. "Percy, are you seriously thinking - we've had years. You know I would've said something." He did, technically. Nevermind, that's a terrible example -

"Okay, not that; Percy, listen to me. You're not too much. You'll never be too much to handle, just as yourself. If being your friend is too much for someone else to handle, then they can damn well tell you about it, alright?"

Percy bobs his head slightly, leaning back against the table, since they've decided to sit on the floor for some reason.

(It's Grover. He's the reason. Percy never acts like he notices, but he probably gets that Grover likes to be grounded most of the time - well, as much as they can be, a gazillion feet in the air, anyway.)

"A dam well, you say?" he suddenly giggles, a little wetly.

"Whatever, man."

They clink bottles and lean back.

It's almost black outside now, that dark shade that's something deeper than indigo, violet.

"Is this about Jason?"

"..No. Not really."

The yellow lighting from the lamps settles around them. Grover feels weighed down by it, anchored to the mat where they're sitting. He watches as Percy curls his fingers around the neck of his bottle.

Cuticles perfectly trimmed and obnoxiously perfect nail beds. The bastard.

"You.. this is - okay." Percy jerks his head up, startled by how sharp Grover's voice suddenly is, probably.

He softens it before trying again. "We were kids, Percy."

The idiot genius in question makes a half-sound of disbelief.

"No, shut up. We were. Whether you were too much or whatever - when else are you supposed to figure out these things? When you're twenty? Now? When else are you supposed to find out how to navigate conversations with people? Look, Percy, whatever's gone down between us - I'm not going to blame you for not being a, hell, fully matured flawless conversationalist at age nine."

"Well, when you say it like that.."

"Oh, I'll say it like that. I'll say it like that every time you need me to grow a seed of perspective into your brain, you strain of seaweed."

That's the thing that gets him to laugh, in the end. Grover watches as Percy's shoulders relax and he curls inwards, shoulders shaking.

"I- I thought only Annabeth was going to call me seaweed, but now I see the market hasn't been cornered-"

"Shut up. Clarisse gives you new nicknames every summer."

"Alright, G-man."

Grover grabs the pink-white striped throw pillow from the sofa, pets it affectionately, and then whips it at his best friend's face. Percy squawks and dives out of the way, and they're lucky their bottles are finished because he tips over both of those too in the mad dash to Grover's bedroom, probably to stock up on more pillows.

Grover stands in the middle of the hallway and dodges the first of Percy's paltry attempts at revenge, then another. When Percy has to stop and pick up his pillows again, eyeing him suspiciously, he retreats to the kitchen.

He grins while grabbing the blue blankets from the supply closet. He's not going down alone.

my writing directory if that's a thing you'd like to check out - I put all my writing posts on there so I can't lose track of them TT

[reallifetangent]

A take I wanna have (please don't yell at me or attack me. Corrections might be okay, it's late for me and English is not my main language):

Edwin's love interests. Less to best for him.

Cat King on the less. I know. I love his character, he's very charismatic. I love the teasing and seeing how far he can push Edwin's limits and face his own feelings. I do live for that in some ships. Their dynamic is interesting but let's be real. Even if CK is an Entity and has 9 lives (currently only 6), Edwin is a ghost. Forever 16, forever existing. At some point the relationship would look and or feel weird. And tbh is the one that changed the less thanks to his interactions with Edwin. Edwin grew a lot (and learned a lot about himself) but Cat King? He still play games and yeah, he cares for Ed, but he's been like that since always. And to be loved is to be changed. Maybe the dying for Edwin when he tried to protect him from Ester and ended up dead counts for something, but he's too much in his idealistic bubble where at some point Edwin would fall for his charms. Maybe if he approached in a more friendly way and not trapping him in town, (a less Wattpad Cliche Way), maybe something could've come out better. And look, I love their teasing. I want CatWin being something before Edwin and Charles becoming an actual couple. I still want Cat King and Edwin playing with each other, who's smarter, who's sharper, who's one step ahead of the other, silly little games between them. I want Edwin appreciating Cat King's death for him. I want Cat King obsessed in a respectful way for Ed, appreciate him, praise him. And Ed just, panicking because too gay to function but at the same time, it's not who he wants to hear that from. Yet sometimes falls for that but he knows it's wrong for him.

Simon. We know he was his bully. He had feelings for Ed, and back when they both were alive, being like them was a sin. He only wanted to scare Edwin. Nothing else. If Edwin was able to forgive Simon in hell, understanding it wasn't his fault they both died (technically it is but nobody told them entities and ghosts are real so that wasn't on him), and even wanting to get him out of there, there were a reason. Also, both were sixteen. Still a lot to develop and think and experiment. It took Edwin 100 years to finally open up and be comfortable about himself. Maybe Ghost Simon could learn at the same time with Edwin as his teacher, since both were the same period. Could be interesting Simon revoked from death back to the living because he has unfinished businesses somehow and Edwin taking his case just to make things more clearer and give us a better chance to know why Edwin forgave him. Because just the "Oh, you were in love with me and you didn't know the sacrifice would actually work" doesn't sound enough reasons for someone like Edwin to break out an ex bully from literal hell. There is an explanation. There must be.

Monty. Just. Take away Edwin having feelings for Charles, and Monty being Ester's Familiar Crow. Otherwise, it could've worked. Not right away, but with patience, they could've been in a cute relationship. Monty caught feelings for real, and Edwin is too slow to understand, but at some point they'll both learn and well, lovers. I see Edwin on the aromantic spectrum, so, Monty would have to work his way and Edwin open up to get to like Monty. Or just accept they can be a platonic relationship and that can be good too. Also same issue as Crystal or any Living Entity. Age permanency. Could be a nice Teenage Love Story for Edwin and Monty, but not in case Monty is affected by human ageing.

And best by far, Charles. 30 years of being the married couple on acid. Both timeless, forever young, together by choice, each other's personal afterlife. They died when they had so much to live for. Now they can't be more alive thanks to each other. Even if they end up as platonic stuff and never end up being partners, there wouldn't be any complaining. Edwin loves Charles in a romantic way, and just knowing that Charles won't go away because of that is a total relief, and they have the eternity to find out of Charles does have romantic feelings as well. And reading a post about Charles being a People Pleaser and always saying or doing what others wanted so they like him and been trying to be on Edwin's good side to not push him away for 30 years, so, knowing that his best mate loves him must be a good reason to stop doubting Edwin.

Charles and Crystal are okay. I mean, I like their relationship just because they needed someone. Crystal admitted she could try if he were alive, but between her brainwash, the demon possession, everything happening, it's more like a distraction than an actual feeling. Maybe better writing and they could be her teenage love. After that, she'll grow up. He won't. (I know I said best partners for Edwin but I wanted to clarify my take on Crystal and Charles).

[justarandomlambblog]

Coffeeshop/teacher AU...

Sorry my handwriting is horrible that's just how it is and it is 2 am I am too tired to transcribe rn but I will make a more legible version later

Info about the AU under the cut

Mystic's Coffee House is run by a mysterious person, Mystic. That's it, just Mystic. Stage name? Maybe. They're a very popular, high-status coffee shop, and Narinder is essentially the manager at this point.

Narinder, who was disowned by his family at only 17 years old following a huge fight/accident, began working at Mystic just a year or two after. He never finished high school and was homeless at the time, and Mystic took one look at him and decided, yeah, that looks like an employee right there. Is Mystic aware that Narinder is a Bishop, a very famous, very rich family that has so many brands and trademarks under their name that they may as well own half the country? Probably, Mystic knows Narinder's real name after all. But his nametag simply says;

Nari.

Nari is a single father by technicality only; Forneus is a very good friend that he met a bit after being disowned and kicked out, and in the beginning they mistook fondness/kindness as attraction and had a brief relationship. They mutually decided that they only loved each other as friends, but the twins Aym and Baal were born shortly after they broke up, and while they have a very healthy coparenting relationship, Forneus is often away on business trips as she runs a shop all her own. Narinder took over primary custody. Aym and Baal have Forneus' surname, and do not hold the Bishop name (a choice Narinder insisted on).

Aym and Baal are now seven years old and entering the second grade, and their teacher is Mz. Lamb, whose first name is... mysteriously missing. Lamb is a regular at Mystic's and has a huge puppy-crush on Narinder (they think he's cute), though Narinder only knows them as "the weird sheep who tried to ask for my number as soon as they saw me." Everything kinda changes after Aym and Baal enter Lamb's class, as Lamb realizes Narinder bears a striking resemblance to the rambunctious twins and strikes up a conversation about them, and Narinder will NOT pass up a chance to talk about his children.

And thus a friendship is born, which will very quickly snowball into something more.

Lamb believes in living life to the fullest and expresses themself however they feel, they'll go from suits and ties to hoodies to off-shoulder shirts to dresses and they will THRIVE with it. This is their life philosophy; live life to the fullest, and go to the Beyond without regrets. Live enough for your lost loved ones, too.

Narinder and Lamb both know sign language, Narinder bc he grew up using it to communicate with family, Lamb bc after an... accident they were unable to speak for several years. Lamb still has "mute days" and Nari signs as he speaks, a habit he hasn't broken in the ~10 years since he was disowned.

Ummmm I can't think of anything else it's way too late/early but that is the gist of it (without getting into the Bishops themselves). Also they end up getting married, and Aym and Baal 1000% take credit for getting them together.

"Hey pops, remember how dad rejected you when you first met?" "Hey Aym, remember when you dropped the ring and it rolled down the vent in the middle of our wedding." "... I was ten-"

[piyesis-yhs]

♡Alijah♡ Yap Session!

I'm really bored so I thought I just might talk about Alijah

To those who know me, you already seen this coming lol. Now, why you may ask? well, as the self-proclaimed captain of the ship...uh I don't know. It just came to be in a dream. 

Long Post

jk, I think I first considered it way back when I first joined the yhs fandom. I tend to ship characters who I find pretty and since Elijah had a cool design, and Alec was my favorite character...well bam! new ship! But shipping these two came with multiple problems, cause one; I was the lone shipper at the time so if I wanted to see fanfics and fanart of them...I had to do it myself...which was eughhh... especially writing the fics cause I am not a writer! And two, they literally never met each other (technically) AND Elijah has around 3 minutes of screen time.

Bro, at the time, a lot of people were tolerating my shenanigans so I knew a lot of people didn't find interest in them until I started drawing them a lot. The key to getting your rarepair noticed and decently well-liked is posting everyone's favorite and then dragging them by the arm to start showing off your blorbos, cause if you post stuff that everyone likes--they'll follow you. When they do, they'll probably tolerate the ship since they're usually just there to see the stuff they like. (like a package deal!)

but besides all that, I think Alijah is pretty neat. there's not a lot about Elijah's character so I had to improvise and my version of his character is the guy who struggles to connect with people because of the lack of childhood he had. I think that it'd be very hard making friends if you grew up committing crimes so Elijah was a loner. (and since it's canon that he and Celeste were homeschooled, they're definitely loners. Not Celeste tho, she's an ambivert and functions better in social environments even if she's also quiet while Elijah just seems introverted.) 

So adding to his character, because of the life he grew up in, He's attached to his sister. He doesn't have that many aspirations in life so he just does what Celeste is doing and usually listens to her when she needs help. I picture him to be like a stray dog--trained, obedient but has no real place where he belongs so he just follows those who he likes. 

I think this is how Elijah and Alec get together in the first place but that was in my winter au, which I won't talk about since most of it is being used for my oc webtoon. However, in the remake version, Alec doesn't feel worthy enough to be with his friends and pursue his feelings for Funneh, so he forces himself to work more since in Alec's mind, he couldn't save himself so he might as well stop trying to have nice things. He ends up on a self-destructive path and now that he's spending more time at work, he gets to know more about Elijah. Their relationship is just co-workers at first, barely talking and there to get the job done, but since Alec is shown to be pretty talkative around his friends--I think he'd try to at least strike up a conversation out of awkwardness.

Eventually, Elijah would start talking too making their relationship less tense and more friendly. If they ever hang out it'll probably be because of a coincidence, like "Oh, hey! You're at this place too :O!" 

if one of them fell in love first, it'd be Elijah since I think it wouldn't be that hard to impress him since he's a loner. with the stray dog stuff, he gets more attached to Alec to the point he'd focus on him more than his sister and when it came to work, his motivations pointed to making sure Alec wasn't killed by Yumi (who at this point in this au was considering it since Celeste was trying to talk her into it--i'll explain this more when I ramble about celesdere.)

Alijah's Dynamic + overall story:

Speaking of their relationship, their overall dynamic wouldn't be healthy. Elijah's the attachment type and Alec's the avoidment type. (match made in heaven! *sarcastic*) Since Elijah didn't have the best childhood, his perception of love is warped. He believes that to love is to give them you're everything and to worship. He learned that from his sister since their parents were always fighting (like oh, they're not in love because they didn't put in the effort in the other person like Celeste was putting in her love for Yumi)

His love for Alec is more obsessive and he becomes more insecure. His goal is to keep Alec by his side since Alec is one of the few people who doesn't mistreat him (since Elijah did have relationships before but they were mostly abusive) With his insecurities, he becomes like Yumi in how he gets easily jealous. He doesn't want Alec hanging out with Funneh, let alone being with his old friends who were enemies of their little crime organizations and it gets to the point he'll imply he'll harm her (but he doesn't since Elijah knew that Alec wouldn't love him anymore so all he really does is cling and tries to get Alec to stay without harming those Alec cares about.)

Now, for Alec! SInce he was pushing himself away from his friends, he stayed with Elijah not because he liked him, but because he was there. he doesn't fully love him the way he loves Funneh. She was perfect in his eyes, He idealized her but when it comes to his coworker, he was a constant reminder of the mess he got himself into and Alec eventually regrets isolating himself since he realized that it's never too late to fix his mistakes and make it up to the people he hurt.

Alec saw Elijah as a convenience since Alec used him to feel better about himself. He needed assurances that he was doing the right thing, that the world didn't have a place for someone like him and it was better to drown with someone else than alone. Elijah was more like someone to comfort him, but since Alec was getting better mentally he didn't really need Elijah so if he tried to break things off Alec would find himself unable to because Elijah's possessive nature would reveal itself. Alec wanted to move on and live better but his boyfriend doesn't let him. 

His feelings for Elijah become complicated. He loved Elijah because Alec found comfort in not having to pretend to be someone he wasn't like he was with his friends and he loved that Elijah stayed knowing they were criminals but he later formed resentment when Alec didn't need him anymore.

While they were dating, as Alec got better he was making plans to betray Yumi and them. He wanted to turn himself in and wanted to take Yumi and the crew with him. However, with Elijah dating him, he hesitates since he still loves him (even if his feelings were shallow at first) Alec knew that if he betrayed them, he would be their or Elijah's target. (think of my Now or Never fic) 

since this is getting jumbled I'll try to figure out where I'm heading with this ramble lol

With Elijah's possessiveness and worship of Alec (giving everything to him like Celeste did with Yumi) he begins to see that something is off with Alec and after a little digging, he finds Alec's betrayal both to their work and relationship-wise because at this point with Alec wanting to get back to his old relationships, his decision to become friends with them again, becoming friends with Funneh again, this was betrayal to Elijah. to him, Alec left their life together to join someone else's. Elijah doesn't take it well because, to Elijah, he was the stray dog who was yet again abandoned. 

either Alec or Elijah would attempt to kill the other if Alec is confronted with his betrayal of Yumi or if Elijah is ordered to try and kill Alec by his sister or Yumi. 

Even if Alec was using Elijah, he still loved him. though his feelings were overridden by his resentment, he loved him. To him, it was shallow but near the end of their relationship, it became more hard to ignore especially when he reconnected with his friends. Think A Pearl by Mistski, he loved him but it wasn't a healthy type of love. it was more like infatuation with familiarity since Elijah was the one who saw the true him. no facade like he wore when he was with his friends.

depending on how evil I feel like being, Elijah will die and his death will become the pearl Alec would have afterward.

uh, I think that's the end of my ramble for Alijah lol, though just in case it needs to be said, I don't condone abusive/toxic relationships! I already got enough of them irl so I do not desire one irl! 

I find the appeal in toxic relationships when it's creating complexities in characters and how It affect their motivations and desires. I care more about their upbringing and escape of them instead of just liking them because of romanticization (which I hope is clear that I'm not doing or desire to do)

with all that out of the way, this is my interpretation of them! :D and only interpretation I believe since I don't think I saw another ramble or hc post about them.1

oh yeah, regarding my fics, they're usually stand-alones so Now or Never isn't canon in this ramble (since this ramble is the main foundation for the stuff I make) so some aus and fics are loosely based on this.

Have a good day/night!

if you see grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes--no you didn't!

[ca-suffit]

How do you rationalize the violence of the characters on this show? Imo, it's easier when it's self defense or when they're just killing to feed, specially the latter since most are just extras and we don't get to know or be attached to those characters. But there are more complicated cases, including physical and psychological abuse and literally everybody has been the abused and the abuser at some point. Not to/with each other, but definitely other people. There is power imbalance in all of the dynamics. Some may forget that since they keep jumping through timelines where things are perfectly okay or they're closer to making amends and making up. And also because the actors are friends and have chemistry on screen (speaking about the whole cast, not any duo in particular). But technically all main characters have abused each other. Nobody is "safe". So, where to draw the line? Psychological abuse? Physical abuse? The severity of the action (like continuously torturing someone who can't respond or match your strength is definitely worse than one punch, for example)? The frequency of the action, like, as long as it happened once it's okay? When a character is still redeemable/forgivable giving the fact they are immortals, so, in theory, they have eternity to better themselves and see if they can make it work? Or should they all be narratively punished (end up alone, suffering, locked up, dead etc)? What are your thoughts? Btw, I'm genuinely asking. I've become obsessed with this show recently and I haven't been able to talk about it with a lot of people, but I have these questions in my mind. Personally, the more I think about it, the less I know, tbh. It's part of why I love the show and I'm asking, btw. I want to see if I reach some conclusion lol. P.S. I understand if you can't/don't want to answer and I'm sorry this got too long. And if you do answer, feel free to make it long as well if you want, even if you want to make comparisons, add interviews etc. I love reading people's takes hehe. Anywa, thanks!

I don't try to rationalize it tbh. I think that's a goal of the show and the original books as well. What are u supposed to do if u have to "endure" each other forever? What still holds meaning if ur all immortal, how do u have relationships, hobbies, not get bored? Especially when everyone is born from trauma and sometimes that trauma was yesterday and sometimes it was 1000 years ago or 5000 years ago from a society u don't understand at all. How do u bring together so many ppl like that and not erupt on each other?

Trauma and mental illness and whatever else is not always pretty. Violent reactions to things are common and, at least in a society where punitive justice is the norm, we get used to putting these things in these boxes. "u did this bad thing so now ur going to jail / hell." The eternal question of the VC books is where do vampires belong, anyway? Where do they go when they die and for what reasons? Anne Rice never gives a v clear answer on this and it's not just bcuz she wasn't a good writer, the point rly is to just ask the questions. We don't have these answers as humans now, we can't confirm or deny if there's an afterlife and whether these things we do matter for a "soul" or not. We create social rules for many reasons but even those are not actually built on the back of "justice" the way ppl are made to think they are.

I don't think these stories are asking u to find a true "good" or "bad" character or characters. I think we're just meant to watch their choices and reflect on them, reflect on our reactions to them. The fandom's desire for Louis to have done something to "deserve" the drop is all about racism and nothing else. They blame Claudia for "manipulating" Louis into killing Lestat bcuz a black girl is never allowed to be a victim either. She's not even a girl to them anyway, adultification of black girls is another angle they use all the time ("she doesn't look 14 to me!"). They'll say look what Louis did to goad Lestat into fighting him more but they'll never say look what Lestat did to hurt Claudia and push her to that point, as someone who was acting as her parent for most of their lives together. That's always "ooc Lestat." What's happening on screen is a rorschach test for us as the audience and as individuals.

Like I wrote, I don't believe in punitive justice, so I don't think long term these stories are going to focus on that much. The trial was a sham to begin with and Lestat was never "rly" dead or meant to be gone forever. They're going to hurt each other and isolate each other in different ways, but if the show wants to focus on any real character growth, it needs to focus on ways the characters can learn to understand each other instead of banishing / killing each other. Relationships take real work like this too. Anne Rice could never write any of this but I'm hoping the show does. Seeing Lestat have awareness of the pain he caused Louis and the reasons he did it fr was a step in the direction I was hoping the show would go. The big question *is* how does a relationship recover from that? For immortals? How will it make others feel too, particularly Armand, if Louis and Lestat get back together? Will Armand reflect on his own abuse too? They all have a lot in common and they all want to be loved. If that's brought out into the open and treated with kindness and understanding, then the desire to maim and kill each other will greatly diminish tbh. Everything these vampires do to each other originates from a place of personal pain, feeling unlovable. "love is a monster" is one of the taglines for a reason.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

ive been obsessed with the concept of merlin who actually runs away with freya because after she got injured he panicked and healed her right in front of arthur. so he panicked, again, and ran away with her to live next to the lake. and they do build their lil cottage and have a strawberry farm and some cows. and they also have time to explore their feelings.

and its the funniest thing, because merlin has also been slowly crushing on arthur, and that much is clear whenever he talks abt him to freya. it doesnt make her jealous or anything, just sad that she knows they'll probably never be together. that the only time that merlin and arthur do "interact" is when merlin secretly saves his ass every week or so. like merlin technically never left, but now he gets creative, uses glamours, learns shape shifting after helping freya with her own curse.

he gets to meet with morgana now, because freya urged him to not leave her alone in this mess, so now we don't get evil morgana (yay!). merlin also tentatively tries to do the same with mordred whenever they do meet with the druids, especially when they were figuring out freya's curse, and mordred grows on merlin, so we also dont get evil mordred (great bonus).

and another thing that ive also been obsessed with thinking is that when the great purge began, nimueh tried to sought out balinor since i think they were friends, being 2 magic users with special abilities (high priestess and dragonlord). and she ended up at ealdor just in time to see merlin be born.

and then they meet later on, and nimueh kinda doesnt believe that that's merlin from ealdor since hes in fucking camelot. but then the questing beast happened. and when merlin goes to kill her, she manages to shield herself last second. and feeling that great power that she felt when merlin was born, because he was almost glowing golden and so potent she almost dropped him when she held lil merlin, her brain fucking stopped. she cannot kill merlin. and so she does something that she almost did when she met hunith, and she understood in that little time why balinor had stayed with her, and nimueh decides to use the power she has for her immortality to ensure arthur lives. so now she will age like a normal human, gaius is alive, and so is arthur. and now merlin and nimueh are very awkward with each other.

especially when a bit of time later they end up meeting with the druids to help freya and theyre also helping nimueh. she felt as if her powers were weaker, but merlin was like "yh no ure lying u feel exactly the same" n leaves thinking nimueh is plotting. when in reality she actually did think her powers were dying and that fear made it seem as if it was actually happening. her mind played tricks on her, and she almost believed her magic was dying.

so after this lil nimueh interlude, lets go back to freya and merlin.

the funniest thing abt theyre situation is that. while merlin is obviously crushing on arthur (and brooding abt it cuz yknow), freya is just. "merlin, i think im crushing on gwen." "???? have u met her?" "no but ive seen her and she smells like a good person and also i like what i know abt her from you." "ok-" "also im crushing on morgana." "freya." "also elyan." "GWENS BROTHER????" "HES. PRETTY. YOU CANT TELL ME THAT NOT TRUE CUZ LAST TIME I CHECKED UR EYES ARE WORKING FINE."

i do think that when freya finally gets control over her curse and has her lil space with merlin, her true sunshine gremlin nature comes out and she manages to be more chaotic than merlin, just also more sweet. and dangerous. she can turn into a literal monster.

also. merlin and freya getting married. and having babies. twins. its been on my MIND non stop yall, this has never happened before idc abt kids-

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.

[whattraintracks]

27. Human Friends - TMNT 1987

Buffy and Raphael should've been best friends, spread the word

"Poor Little Rich Turtle" is a spectacular episode

almost entirely because of Buffy Shellhammer

all the boys need more friends their age, Raphael especially

and these two could have gotten along SO WELL

in that episode, Michelangelo’s level of attraction to Buffy is inversely proportional to Raphael’s begrudging respect for her

I bet Raphael tells her about Michelangelo's crush as a joke

and she declares she has no interest in anyone human, turtle, boy, girl, or otherwise, and they high-five/three about it

he would love having a rich friend that lets him hang out in her mansion

he makes fun of her for said mansion but still shamelessly takes advantage of her wealth

which is fair since she’s been trashing his sewer home since day one 

Leonardo’s joke about seeing "how the other half lives"? Yeah, they run that bit six feet under

she does not care that Raphael and his brothers are local heroes they’re just some weird little dudes from beneath the city to her

she is, however, so excited to learn about all the hidden sewer routes around the city so she can escape her more boring responsibilities

they're both made of pretty tough stuff and predictably bond over their abnormal childhoods and limited connections/friends

"don't get out much, do you?" he says like he doesn’t have equally negative amounts of experience with normal teenage fun!!

zero understanding of typical friendship rituals between them

they wrestle, gift each other weird stuff, and spend a lot of time trying to figure out what normal teenagers do, only to give up and do something else because the things they thought of sounded boring

they'll just randomly ask each other stuff like, "did you know most people only eat three meals a day with specific foods for each meal?" and be totally confused together about it

they also have the most skewed concept of money

Raphael has never paid for anything in his life other than pizza, and while Buffy knows the exact value of super niche chemical tech supplies, she could not give you a reasonable estimate for produce

a lifetime with Donatello has made Raphael a surprisingly good sounding board for the more technical aspects of Buffy’s work

which she does enjoy, as well as cutthroat business operations, she just hates her public persona and sucking up to adults who think they know better than her

he likes to hold the fact that t(he)y saved her life (multiple times) over her head, but like as a joke

except for when he tries to use it to win arguments

unfortunately, it never works, she is the most ungrateful brat ever thank you much

they very much share that I don’t owe anyone anything attitude

EXCEPT for Master Splinter, whom they mutually respect and agree is the only acceptable adult

she unironically complains about humans with him but particularly has beef with adults, and he heartily encourages this

they love that they can be total jerks around each other without hurting anyone else’s delicate feelings

THEE besties who judge people and hate each other affectionately

all the insults: "martian" "nerd" "pet store reject" "spoiled brat"

when they’re not coming up with colorful insults for each other, they’re doing it together for other people

it's their favorite bonding activity <3

since she enjoyed their initial misadventure so much, she asks if she can go out with the turtles to fight and stuff again, and Raphael laughs at her

until she takes a bunch of martial arts classes and totally kicks his shell

and, well, he supposes a nice easy patrol or two might be fun

unfortunately, the team cannot handle the strength of their combined sass, and she’s forbidden from ever joining them again, even though she has a mean left hook

ultimately, I think they’d mellow each other out now that they have an outlet for their angst and eventually grow and learn a lot from one another

but, mostly, they just talk so much crap together

[hotforharrison]

Life has been kind of crazy in the worst possible way this month.

It feels like so much more than 3 weeks since the day I filed for divorce on July 1, which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I meant every word of my vows on that Thursday afternoon in September 2010 when my marriage began. I thought we were going to be each other's person for the rest of our lives, not for that to slip through my fingers because I was careless with his heart, and I can't put into words how deeply I regret it.

I never expected his embrace to hurt the way it does now, and the worst part of it is that he's the only one here to hug. He was the biggest source of my comfort for so many years, and even if he was here to hold me right now, it wouldn't be the same. What we had is completely gone.

It still kill me that I don't remember the last time we had sex, the last time we shared the bed we slept in together every night, and I woke up to him like I did so many times over the years.

He told me that we could have sex again on a friends with benefits basis, but I don't want to. It would destroy me.

Anyway, the power has been back on for a full week now after 8 days without in the godawful Texas summer heat, with only a few brief interruptions, mostly tonight when we had a thunderstorm.

We've spent the last week and a half, starting before the power even came back on, getting quotes from contractors for repairs for the extensive damages. The hurricane damages to the house I live in are in the tens of thousands of dollars.

(The house was downgraded from what was my home before my marriage ended because it feels like I'm surrounded by the devastating loss and ghosts of him and the love and life we shared for so long. It's agonizing just being here a lot of the time.)

We're not sure what the homeowners' insurance is going to cover for the repairs, which is terrifying, and we need to figure out how to work with FEMA if the insurance isn't helpful.

I'm also worried the HOA we're in will start giving us problems if we can't get the repairs done very quickly.

This month has been such shit in so many ways.

I desperately need my weekly counseling sessions, and my counselor cancelled this week. I've had only one of my weekly appointments this month due to cancellations and the hurricane, which is taking its toll on me.

In more positive and hopeful news, I had an appointment last Thursday with my job counselor at the state run employment program I was accepted into.

They'll pay fully for my schooling, textbooks, and supplies to get a degree or certificate from a local community college and offer job placement services after graduation.

I need a job I can do remotely, and I originally intended to pursue a year long certificate program in medical billing and coding. However, all of the local programs required on campus courses and capstones, which I cannot do.

I looked into every single fully online degree or certificate program that the local community colleges offered that aren't any longer than two years (my ex-husband agreed to let me stay here rent free for a few years while I get myself sorted) and settled on an Associate degree program in mobile/web application development.

I applied for the program today.

I wanted something with a decent level of job security, and I don't think phones are going anywhere. There's the possibility of freelance work on the side as well.

Considering and pursuing a career in technology is nothing new to me.

I went to a public university for an information technology program for 2 years after I graduated from high school, followed by a technical school for computer network operations for a year.

I never ended up working in the industry because it was saturated at my time of graduation, and they wanted me to have experience for an entry level position, which I found endlessly ironic.

I was told more than once by potential employers that I should have done an internship before I graduated to gain experience, which would have been fantastic to know while I was still in school and not with the days ticking down until I had to start repaying my student loans.

I desperately hope that I can transfer some of the roughly 20 year old credits over from the university I went to to cover the general education portion of the degree and maybe trim off a semester. (While technology absolutely has changed since the 2000s, some things haven't changed, like an introductory English or history course.)

[gayelectro]

im here for the selfship ask. moth and mantis

YIPPEEEEEE I LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS!!!

Moth - Do they sleep together? What’s their nighttime routine? Do you both go to bed early, or stay up late? Do they cuddle?

They do not, technically, sleep together in the same bed! Leaguers do not need sleep like humans do and instead need to power down and recharge in a proper docking station.

When they lived separately, this did make sleepovers complicated. Depending on their activity level, a Leaguer does not need to recharge every night, but Bridge never wanted to totally exhaust him and he physically could not recharge in xir human apartment. This meant that most often, Bridge would sneak to Bull's place for sleepovers and other such overnight shenanigans.

Once they moved into their own home together, the solution was simple. Have the bedroom have a docking station! So yes, they eventually sleep in the same room. And Bull is very willing to cuddle Bridge in xir (specialty reinforced) bed until xe falls asleep.

Nighttime routine once they've moved in together? Usually Bull noticing that it's getting late and Bridge insisting to stay up later to spend more time with him. He insists that they'll spend more time together tomorrow (the way that they always do lol). After enough back and forth, and Bridge starting to get tired, xe acquiesces. Bull reminds xir to take xir medication and brush xir teeth. Once that's done, xe'll crawl into bed and beckon Bull to join xir. He snuggles xir until xe falls asleep. Then, if he needs it, he'll get in his recharge chamber. If not, he'll probably do some more chores around the house!

And since that's how they are, they both usually stay up late! Thankfully, Leaguers can get away with being late to bed and early to rise, but Bridge can't! Xe sleeps in if xe doesn't have work to go to. And yes, they are both ABSURD cuddle bugs.

Mantis - Who’s the most physically affectionate? Are they sweet and chaste or playfully aggressive? Who’s more likely to initiate things? How do they feel about PDA?

MOST? It's hard to tell who's most affectionate, they're both all over each other as much as they can get away with. Their jobs are probably one of the only things that get them to pry themselves off of each other.

As for chaste or aggressive, it really depends on the moods they're in and who's around, you know? They do have some sense of tact, just... It's easily overwritten by how much they wanna touch each other all the time. Most of the time though, they're chaste. They give each other little peck kisses, Bull carries Bridge around like a doll or sets xir up on his shoulder like a parrot.

When it comes to initiating kisses, definitely Bridge takes the lead. But when it comes to initiating holding, it's Bull. Though, part of that is probably because Bridge knows that Bull will likely grab a hold of xir whenever he's ready-- xe doesn't really need to ask him for it.

As for PDA? They're about as PDA as it gets. Admittedly, Bridge is a bit of a hypocrite in this regard; xe doesn't like seeing other humans getting too handsy in public with other humans. But xe'll keep that to xirself, especially since xe is draped over Bull's body at just about any given second that they step outside together. Meanwhile, Bull (and most Leaguers in general) don't really think much about PDA. Other than full blown making out in public or banging, physical displays of affection are completely morally neutral to Leaguers.

[arigatonamuse]

A3! OCs - Relationships

aight here's another one

Yasu

gets along well with Massu (if "vibing in the same space without interacting much but enjoying it" counts as getting along)

likes reading with Muku and talking about what they've both read

literally cannot escape being Banri's kouhai, first at Hana High and then at Amabi (it's even worse since they're technically majoring in the same thing), he's very intimidated by him

once he gets into Veludo Arts, he starts trusting Kazu a lot, he likes working around him and is slowly learning about how he can trust him

finds Guy's presence comforting and goes to him whenever there's something he can't understand about people

Clubs/Link Skill Groups: Shoujo Manga Club

Etsuko

she really admires Chikage and Hiso both, and she holds Chikage as a role model (it goes as well as you'd imagine)

adores Yuki and often consults him about clothes, sometimes they quietly work together, sometimes she just listens to him rant , sometimes they bitch together

likes being around Sakuya, even if she can't completely open up to him, she feels like she won't be judged around him, she'd kill for him (whether that's an exaggeration is up for interpretation)

often talks to Taichi about girls and trends when she needs to de-stress

Clubs/Link Skill Groups: Lone Wolves + Sweet Tooths

Castel

good friends with Banri, but never leave the two of them on their own (they'll either get into a nasty fight or get into trouble together)

classmates + study buddies with Tsuzuru

Juza's senpai (no i will never live down the fact that Juza is canonically studying literature in uni)

Stray cat lover with Sumi, Hiso and Muku,

Enjoys Kazu's presence a lot, he helps them get out of their shell very naturally

They get along really well with Tetsuro and Akashi, they work very well as a team even with little to no verbal communication

Clubs/Link Skill Groups: Spicy Food Society

Eli

Ex-delinquent buddies with Omi; he knows Omi's healed more than he has, but he still feels like he has to take care of him and help him

Looks up to Sakyo because he thinks he's put together, and he can see how much he cares for everyone at the company (also they share their incapacity to DO SOMETHING TO FURTHER THE RS WITH THE ONE THEY LOVE smh)

He often talks to Homare about poetry and their fave authors (also sometimes shares what he's written with him)

feels paternalistic towards a lot of the younger actors, but mostly Massu and Tenma

Clubs/Link Skill Groups: Ex-gangsters + Artistes

Masami

since she hasn't become that close to the company, she doesn't have many relationships but

She's really really thankful towards Izumi for taking care of Yasu

Looks up to Sakyo and hopes one day she can have the guts to show up and face what she gave up on life like he did

Occasionally talks to Kazu and Juza, looks up to them as big siblings, and is very thankful for Kazu looking out for Yasu at uni

Daiki

Tsuzuru and Juza's (and Castel's) professor, so it's awkward for those two whenever he stops by Mankai

Azuma's drinking buddy + former occasional client

Finds Citron really fun and interesting, loves to hear his stories

Homare and this man vibe together like they've known each other their whole lives, they have conversations than only the two of them can follow, absolute best friends, also huge appreciators of the arts together

He actually knew Tadoru before Mankai formed, they're casual friends

Clubs/Link Skill Groups: Literary Club + Frequent Flyers

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 2

Dorian x Beau ( @monoma-neitoblog-blog )vs Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Jacob Seed ( @derelictheretic )

who makes up your ship?:

Dorian x Beau

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Beau and Dorian were childhood best friends. They've known each other since they were little and they became even closer as they grew up. They dated for a little while, and had an unofficial third in their other best friend, Orias. But Beau moved away to seek better opportunity (because he desperately wants to be famous) and broke up with Dorian before leaving. Fairly healthy so far right? But Dorian is a MESS. He's super reserved and never deals with his emotions, but he just WILL NOT leave Beau alone. It's bad, like every night he calls him and leaves him some heart-wrenching and VERY manipulative voice-mail, he sits there crying all the time, admits he would do ANYTHING to see him again. Beau just ignores him the whole time. Eventually, they're brought back together in a VERY public setting, with Orias there too (who has been watching Dorian crumble this whole time) and they all hook up. Beau wants to keep it hush-hush and not get back together with Dorian but Dorian is so glad to have Beau back. Orias wants to stay with both of them but doesn't do anything about their relationship either. Eventually Beau and Dorian kind of get back together? But it's still a mutually destructive relationship because of their inherently conflicting priorities and incompatible personalities. It's bad Tl;dr Beau left because he wanted to be famous and Dorian won't leave him alone so them and another friend are all brought back together and get back together even though they're all worse off for it.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

I don't have any art of all of them together but feel free to contact me and I'll find a way to whip something up!

****

who makes up your ship?:

Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Jacob Seed

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

It all starts with Jacob kidnapping Dean, or having his chosen kidnap him for him technically. You know, how most loving relationships start. Then it goes into Jacob starving Dean for weeks, mentally conditioning him, psychologically torturing him and chipping away at his mental resolve until he breaks and becomes the perfect murder machine; which is when Jacob tricks him into killing one of his closest allies. (Not to mention his initial goal was to make someone deserving of killing him, romance in self destruction via outward force and so on and so forth). After all of this you'd think they hate each other and honestly a part of Dean does hate him but another part of him craves his praise and attention and he knows he's too far gone at this point and the only person who could love a monster is another monster. He's everything he ever feared he'd become and Jacob is the now steady force holding all his broken peices together. Congrats to Jacob for literally making him worse! And congrats to Dean for making Jacob unhealthily obsessed with him and making him feel something for the first time in years! Even if it was possessiveness and a twisted version of love! They beat the shit out of each other on multiple occasions, sometimes before or during sex. They threaten to kill the other's families and almost go through with it a few times. By the end Dean is willing to kill anyone who tries to hurt Jacob and Jacob is willing to do the same, they're tragic, they're toxic, they're the worst, they make everyone uncomfortable and they'll probably die covered in each other's blood. But at least they'll be holding hands <3

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Tag: #ship: Only Us Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4GDAKjOCyUKxWqw7acgzgi Pinterest: https://pin.it/2WOuuEp

[trickstarbrave]

what do you mean by ""reylo dynamic""??

okay. first thing to understand is when i say "reylo dynamic" in a ship or pairing or style of writing romance it isnt unique to reylo. a lot of popular fandoms have some variation of "the reylo dynamic" its just reylo has popularized and kind of mass marketed what used to be a niche fandom ship dynamic so its what i call it as shorthand

The Reylo Dynamic™ usually has specific traits (note: it does not need to have all of these, just a significant amount). canon characterization does not matter either, all it comes down to is the fandom portrayal of the ship by and large (think dramoine and kacchako). the only hardline one is this:

>spunky female character (usually protag of the story) who is at least a little combative with the male lead, and a male lead who is otherwise grumpy/brooding/mysterious

for the common traits:

>female lead is usually brown haired, shorter, with emphasis on being petite and small. idk why even reylo stories they do this even tho daisy ridley isnt that short???

>male lead is usually dark haired and typically described as "unconventionally attractive" exactly

>female lead usually has to prove herself or feels like she has to prove herself. like. as a big thing. it can be one big moment or her constantly feeling like shes being condescended to for some perceived weakness (like: being a woman, being small, not knowing how to control magic powers, whatever). important thing to note is she will often not get over this until like the very end of the story if ever

>usually bc this dynamic can be hard to accommodate for and write around (bc the two romantic leads DONT WANT TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER) there is usually some kind of plot contrivance keeping them together. fated lovers, soul mates, class project, you name it. i feel this is usually a cop out bc i spend most of the plots feeling like they should just fuck and get it over with

>there is almost always miscommunication. and the annoying kind. every time i have tried to suffer thru a story with The Reylo Dynamic™ in novel format i find myself annoyed. bc i dont believe most of the time this is a real, normal, very human break down of communication. i constantly feel like one of them is being an unreasonable or frankly stupid brat in the situation purely for the sake of plot convenience. do you know how dumb it is to see a woman who has lost her job, her only friend, her boyfriend, and her mom get told by some hot guy "hey due to circumstances outside of ur control that i dont blame u for we have to get married also im rich and will take care of ur every need and im not asking for romance i just need magic powers back of mine that u technically have and if u dont marry me they'll also go out of control and kill you" and the woman. is mad and pissy abt it and deliberately makes problems for him. bitch u were at rock bottom and this guy is offering u free rent and food and answers to all the questions you had since chapter 1. and ur mad abt it. theres no moral objections she has to him she's just annoyed bc????????????? i guess she is being asked to do something????????? bc she doesnt wanna look weak?????????? bc shes cranky??????????????? i dont know. id cut her some slack to start with but she just keeps deliberately antagonizing him until they fuck. i gave up reading it was a slog

>lots of bickering and jabs at the other. depending on the rating of the story this will only be resolved with hatefucking. even then it usually wont fully be resolved. while i am a fan of hatefucking there is smth abt how much of a slog it is to watch it in the reylo dynamic bc of the next point:

>usually the author never commits to them having a real, genuine, non-imagined reason to being combative with each other or hating each other, NOR having a real, genuine, non-imagined reason to be together and make it work and be happy. they live in this limbo between dislike. a constant "will they wont they" but instead of the will they or wont they in question being hooking up its instead if they will break up or not. it's like watching a very incompatible couple refuse to work things out by talking and sorting through their own issues AND refusing to just break up and see other ppl more compatible. id rather there be genuine dislike or even hatred they have to sort thru and actually make progress in. dont half ass making a guy horrible. give me a reason why the mc hates him. or if it is imagined by the mc, show the mc processing it properly and working thru it and having proper character growth. but they dont bc the bickering is part of the appeal and making one or both of them genuinely bad ppl breaks the fantasy. or smth.

[commanderbuffy]

Okay I personally believe you made the list of fwb rules at the start with the specific intention of breaking every single one, and personally I think they'll all get broken before the girls sort their shit out so I'M going to recap your recap with hypotheses

1. Absolutely no one can ever find out. - technically not entirely their fault that Lili figured it out

I think when Kit has her realisation she will tell Elora, or else Elora will het it out of her some other way.

2. Never put anything related to sex in writing. - still holding strong

Still holding strong and I feel like given Jade's tit-cident PTSD, it's likely Kit that will break it. Not sure how this will go tbh, but definitely Kit.

3. Use the code: ⚔️ to stand in for the question “are you up for sex tonight?” - chapter 5 they did not use the code

Already broken, I think they'll both continue to break it, potentially more so Jade though since we saw Kit continue to use it in chpt 4 even when she was at the door and Jade was mostly responsible for it in chpt 5.

4. Sex is confined to only Kit’s bedroom. We don’t talk about it outside of that room. - blurred lines here with the hotel room

Blurred line which I think will probably get less blurred and more a blatant break, again I feel like Jade will initiate it? Still think it might happen at the PT premiere but I also kind of think Jade might cry at that too...

5. No showering together - still looking good

This is totally getting broken before fwb ends, maybe like a comfort thing around Mads' anniversary or something? Although that might be inspired by Silver85/wigsters fic (I hope I haven't mixed up my authors and anons there)

6. No letting it get in the way of our friendship - it's, complicated?

I think before the end there'll be a complete breakdown of all three current forms of their relationships, and so technically you could say that this won't get broken until fwb ends but I think it's obviously a large part of the friendship breakdown so it still counts.

7. No letting it get in the way of dates or seeing people (but full disclosure on if you’re sleeping with other people is a must) - the whole fake dating thing made this rule a moot point

Moot point but we have also seen Kit say she doesn't want to sleep with someone else before being like the fake dating rules say so... So it was technically already broken before that.

8. Saying “Canyon Maze” puts a no questions asked end to the entire arrangement - hasn't happened yet (maybe never will?)

I'm tempted to agree with other anons that said it'll get a cute call when someone admits they want a real relationship, but I think that's my wishful thinking. I still think it'll be kit - maybe related to the fact that she's always tried to apologise to Jade with hugs and then used sex to do so in chpt 4, and for me it feels like if she's going to run (*when*), that will be what she'll pull back on from.

9. No kissing on the lips - during ⚔️ they're still good

I think Jade is going to break this. We've seen Kit want to so badly and each time she reminds herself that she can't break Jade's trust like that, so for me it makes more sense to have Jade cave I'm the heat of the moment or some form of heartbreak?

10. This arrangement is physical only - this rule was broken before it was written

As you said, why bother including this rule gals we all know you're full of shit and have no brain cells.

That was a lot, sorry

wow, i love how in-depth you went with this one!! you're spot on with some things, a little off with others, and drastically off with one or two.

i feel like this ask earned a bit of a spoiler.

there will be two shower scenes. they have different tones.

[llycaons]

ep14 (pt1): oh boy romantic montage time

wwx as a teenager is genuinely more compassionate than he's portrayed as

aw shit mention of the oath

I've often been confused by this sequence. if they showed wwx actually entering the shell instead of suddenly cutting to him inside this big red cavern, I think it would have made more sense

also I've often complained that animals don't have large rooms in their bodies like that but I just realized....oh yeah it's an ancient twisted monster. animal biology need not apply so 🤡

honestly I found this fight scene very drawn-out and uninteresting. the special effects for the fight were somewhat awkward and I was kind of bored. this was good though

wyb does 'devastated' very well

I'm kind of missing the donhua ngl. I like cql the best but the donghua was just so focused and clever and creative with the story

wwx is all kinds of fucked up after this fight....not just from his concerning readiness to die but probably also from connecting with this cursed fucking sword. he seems really out of it, and seems to be in a drowsy sort of honesty when he's like 'oh lan zhan...I didn't think I'd be able to meet you again' which is a very...nitimate thing to say? bc later when lwj gives him spiritual energy and he's a little more himself

he sees lwj all lit up and helping him and he starts complaining about how 'boring' it is. face your feelings, wwx! stop avoiding them! you think lwj is beautiful and unique and special and you like him a lot!

it's also. I feel like wwx doesn't feel like he even has the right to have an attachment outside of the jiangs? in some scenes he's really enthusiastic about himself and lwj being partners but in others he hastily denies it in order to smooth things over with jc, so jc doesn't feel abandoned. oof. we'll get to that

okay the top one is the viki and the bottom one is the youtube version which I remember! why are the translations the opposite of each other! also the youtube version is literally higher quality im so mad

god damn I love the lyrics to wuji. they almost don't matter, since they never come up after this and they're not relevant to the song's significance within the narrative, but they're perfect. it's about the struggles of a lifetime, about grief and joy, the ups and downs of being in the world, of reputation lost and gained. vague and poetic, and achingly relevant. that last line about sharing a tune together at the horizon....that's the finale, isn't it? just beautifully put together and a powerful reflection of the story itself, wwx's rise and fall and the pains and joys he's going to face. cannot believe a 16 yr old wrote that. tho if it was anyone, it would be lwj wouldn't it

lwj is ALWAYS the one leaving without saying goodbye! no wonder wwx lost faith! in this context the gusu situation is a little urgent but like. he couldn't have left a note?

I've read a few fics where they sleep together in the cave and 1. nasty and 2. that would make him just leaving after so much worse 😭 I do not endorse the first time cave sex headcanon. I still don't think it would realistically happen until ep 43. too early here, and after sunshot wwx is terrified of anyone touching him because they'll be able to tell he's lost his core. so as fun as angsty sunshot hookups are, I simply cannot see it. tho that would technically also be a factor in ep43, I don't think wwx cares as much by then if lwj knows

aw shit good job jzx

jc is yelling at wwx AGAIN and complaining about not being recognized for his efforts. my dude he just woke up from a week-long fevered sleep chill out. also can jzx stop crowding him? it's like these idiots have no idea how to treat sick people ALSO. why did jc have to run for help? they had a ton of people there. couldn't they have removed the boulders themselves? huh, maybe the wens were hanging around and all they could do was flee

wwx and ljw have such main character energy that wen chao KNEW they stayed behind to kill the false xuanwu...okay

the shidis are learning archery and jyl is just...standing there. okay! couldn't have had her like, reading or doing crafts. nope. just standing there. probably looking out for her returning brothers but like. come on

I really love that jfm personally goes to teach the little disciples. he's gentle and encouraging, and provides a reassuring and secure presence, and I'm sure his students love him. despite his flaws I'm very fond of him esp here

oh wwx, fainting again. first of many

this detail is legit so freaking cute. and wwx's warm smile upon seeing it and knowing he's home 🥰 this supports my 'wwx is a hopeless romantic' agenda. I did laugh when the donghua gave one of them huge boobs but the wx subtext in that show was so potent I can't really accuse them of straightwashing. more evidence for him being bi is all

good for you, jc

see, here he's trying to make jc feel better by calling lwj boring and jc just - lashes out. wwx tries this entire scene to deflect praise onto jc and diminish his accomplishments and to support jc and jc just treats him like shit. no wonder their relationship is so terrible later if jc treats him like this just bc he's mad. can't he see that wwx has no more control over this situation than jc does? he's just the acceptable target in jc's eyes bc jc can't be mad at his parents!

like wen chao was trying to murder mm and string up her body to attract the monster which they were going to be expected to fight without weapons. what the fuck was he supposed to do? and he's not even the one who started the fight! AND if he hadn't stayed behind, how could everyone else has escaped? I didn't see jc offering any other solutions! jesus

it sucks that jfm is implying that jc doesn't have the right temperament to lead the clan, but he's literally the only person in authority to push back against jc's treatment of wwx this arc. and he's literally right that you shouldn't speak from anger. it's not what a leader should do, it's not fair or just, it doesn't allow you to speak wisely or carefully, and it's not something that will lead anywhere good. but after this arc all jc does is lead from anger and bitterness!

it's also so twisted that wwx feels responsible for this and tries to defend jc as 'he's just mad and venting' which he says is fine here but later in the story he bitterly complains about. like I know he loves and misses LP as an adult but this entire situation was absolutely noxious for everyone involved. ppl talk about jyl being parentified but wwx felt obligated to do the same for jc as well and put aside all his own needs and emotions for jc's as soon as this shit starts up. he acts like the undeserving servant as soon as he feels like he needs to I feel dizzy