#since she sleeps in the highest tower of the monastery

[randomnameless]

This is part 2! Too many topics in a single ask. More details on Dragon in the tower au coming soon if you want.

I never really talked about his personality so here we go! Pan was generally calm and stoic pre-zanado and has become pretty much unflappable since then because really heightened emotions can cause him to partially transform, a borderline painful experience. Tho he can be very funny and expressive when he wants to be, usually around his fam. He also tries to lie about his past as little as possible, usually by giving vague, general answers or even outright ignoring/deflection the question. Sometimes he will take the funny route if other people are present, Hanneman has been a victim of this.

He is very observant and has great judgement, it also translates into having decent foresight. But self-esteem issues combined with survivor's guilt + other stuff makes him feel like he has to do everything by himself. He thrives in an environment where there are people who he can support and who will support him in turn but ends up depriving himself of it. Which is why he's at his best when given responsibility of many people, like during the War of Eagle and Lion or the war in canon era.

This also makes him seem like a massive hypocrite in his Dimitri interactions lol. He's all like "You need to let others help and support you, it is our bonds that give us true strength" while also not telling his fam anything.

He was anti-empire from the beginning. He saw that the nabateans had little value beyond their powers to the nobility, afraid that they would end up becoming living tools for the empire. The rest dismissed him as being paranoid, he was in a pretty bad mental state after all.

Kyphon, while leading a small company of men, comes across a stranger who warns him about Imperial soldiers headed their way and offers to act as a lookout. Not wanting to risk their cover, he sends one of his trusted men with the stranger. Everything went smoothly and they were able to escape notice. Kyphon thanks the stranger and promises to lend aid were they to meet again in the future.

Then he and Loog meet this stranger Again, who gets them out of a bind Again. Loog is very grateful and says they're in his debt, the stranger just shrugs it off and leaves. Then they meet a third time and Kyphon asks if he has been following them. The stranger reluctantly admits that he has 'been curious about this movement and wished to see where it would lead' and finally introduces himself as [REDACTED], a mage and a scholar. Loog says some pretty words and convinces him to join.

Right after he joins some Srengese guy in the army comments that the new guy reminded him of Pan, a minor deity in his land, seen as a shepherd who protects them from the wilds, with the way he led them away from the Adrestians. Everyone thought this was the coolest thing ever and started calling him Pan.

Pan just goes with the flow, if they think this nickname is cooler who's he to stop them? Hence everyone forgot what he actually said his name was.

Weapon hcs: Durability is an important game mechanic but the implementation kinda sucked regarding relics so I made up my own version. Having to farm umbral steel to repair relics makes no sense worldbuilding-wise, like how did they repair these things when demonic beasts were next to non-existent? So in my version they can repair themselves like SotC. If you need them repaired faster, you can embue them certain kind of magic to accelerate the process. This is also how sacred weapons work, the magic infused in them repairs the weapon but you can still use mythril.

Would she try to recruit him, as Flamey? Maybe pull something like the enemies of my enemies are my allies (unless they're stinky lizards, they can be my allies for 2 seconds before I backstab them)?

I never thought about it like this!! Their dynamic would be absolutely hilarious! I can only imagine this ending in (not) betrayal at the holy tomb where he kills all the main players and prevents the war from happening. Edelgard, lying in the pool of her own blood, asks "Why?" His only reply is "Shouldn't have called us vile creatures that need to be exterminated." And she has a look of RealizationTM on her face.

Poor Pan though, but I wonder how he would have reacted to Jerry if Jerry told him his kid wasn't "normal", would he become protective of Billy who's, regardless of everything, part of his fam, or would he berate Rhea on not having told that human a thing about this Billy child?

Pan would get upset at Jerry regardless of Billy's lizardness. It's not Rhea's fault he's a terrible father! He has seen many humans with these traits and they don't deserve to be treated like this either!

Billy: I only found out I had a last name after coming to the monastery.

Pan: *looks at the camera like in The Office*

In a different hc/au Pan arrives at GMM while Citrus was around and he becomes her uncle figure. Rhea explains everything about Citrus & the previous homunculi, and also Jerry. So when he sees Jerry try to woo his 20 year old niece, every protective instinct in his body goes on full alert. He becomes their ultimate cockblocker and Jerry had never wanted to strangle anyone more. Citrus however has no clue what's going on and is just enjoying spending time with her uncle and that other guy who brings flowers sometimes :')

(did Pan and Loog hold hands or something?)

It's Schrödinger's hand holding! The benefit of hcs is that you can have contradictory ones at the same time! In the verses where they do hold hands, Pan reveals who he is and Loog'n'Kyphon are super cool with it and tell no one!

- Lizard Pan anon

Cool!

I never really talked about his personality so here we go! Pan was generally calm and stoic pre-zanado and has become pretty much unflappable since then because really heightened emotions can cause him to partially transform, a borderline painful experience. Tho he can be very funny and expressive when he wants to be, usually around his fam. He also tries to lie about his past as little as possible, usually by giving vague, general answers or even outright ignoring/deflection the question. Sometimes he will take the funny route if other people are present, Hanneman has been a victim of this.

Nabateans trying to be vague about their past is my bread and butter lol, at least it's better than Seteth coming up with "Flayn is my daughter, it's totally true (and a foolproof disguise, I mean we managed to trick humans by using hair dye so this should work)" or Flayn who routinely forgets she's not supposed to be a lizard!

It must be sad to have to restrain his emotions to avoid transformation though...

He is very observant and has great judgement, it also translates into having decent foresight. But self-esteem issues combined with survivor's guilt + other stuff makes him feel like he has to do everything by himself.

The Blaiddyd curse lol, are we sure they only hold hands? Or Pan acts like his sister does during the battle of Garreg Mach, where she holds back the Imperial Army with perfect knowledge she might not return...

He thrives in an environment where there are people who he can support and who will support him in turn but ends up depriving himself of it

They all need to be around people lol but yeah, it's awesome how we can agree that some nabateans need to be around people, to help them and also to be helped, but someone said "no pointy ears" so they have to hide or disappear in a certain route...

He was anti-empire from the beginning. He saw that the nabateans had little value beyond their powers to the nobility, afraid that they would end up becoming living tools for the empire. The rest dismissed him as being paranoid, he was in a pretty bad mental state after all

Aww

Too bad he would be proven right a few years down the drain (1k!) but again, it's all about the right or wrong people being in charge, even if from a logical point of view, what should prevent the Willy gang from dicing Rhea'n'the others to gain more power or to use them as tools, as the humans following Nemesis did?

Loog says some pretty words and convinces him to join.

This makes me think of the feast of decadence where the guy pretending to be willy on stage says "words of love" to the person pretending to be seiros on stage lol

But it's a cool idea! Cryptid/random person Pan helps those humans who are in a bind, and helps them later on, again and again, ultimately joining their effort to fight against asses who think they are subhumans, or should be treated as such.

Right after he joins some Srengese guy in the army comments that the new guy reminded him of Pan, a minor deity in his land, seen as a shepherd who protects them from the wilds, with the way he led them away from the Adrestians. Everyone thought this was the coolest thing ever and started calling him Pan. Pan just goes with the flow, if they think this nickname is cooler who's he to stop them? Hence everyone forgot what he actually said his name was.

He was renamed !

IIRC in Claude's paralogue it's mentionned some people in Sreng worship the weird beast that is actually Macuil? Maybe the "minor deity Pan" was also another Nabatean? Or another being entirely.

Weapon hcs: Durability is an important game mechanic but the implementation kinda sucked regarding relics so I made up my own version. Having to farm umbral steel to repair relics makes no sense worldbuilding-wise, like how did they repair these things when demonic beasts were next to non-existent? So in my version they can repair themselves like SotC. If you need them repaired faster, you can embue them certain kind of magic to accelerate the process. This is also how sacred weapons work, the magic infused in them repairs the weapon but you can still use mythril.

And it makes more sense than whatever we have in-game (unless we're supposed to understand Billy'n'co are hunting Nabateans or humans turned into demonic beasts to repair their relics...)

I know some people don't like the "magic" excuse, but it works way better.

I never thought about it like this!! Their dynamic would be absolutely hilarious! I can only imagine this ending in (not) betrayal at the holy tomb where he kills all the main players and prevents the war from happening. Edelgard, lying in the pool of her own blood, asks "Why?" His only reply is "Shouldn't have called us vile creatures that need to be exterminated." And she has a look of RealizationTM on her face.

Rhea watching the scene unfold with a nervous laugh "haha I don't know what they are talking about, and by the way, no, this child is completely delured, Willy would never have done that." while Pan gives the longest sigh ever, but at least, everyone, dead and alive, is safe!

Pan would get upset at Jerry regardless of Billy's lizardness. It's not Rhea's fault he's a terrible father! He has seen many humans with these traits and they don't deserve to be treated like this either! Billy: I only found out I had a last name after coming to the monastery. Pan: *looks at the camera like in The Office*

To Pan who has to learn how to restrain himself for fear of transforming, people calling Billy emotionless must hurt, they feel things, they just cannot outwardly show them!

In a different hc/au Pan arrives at GMM while Citrus was around and he becomes her uncle figure. Rhea explains everything about Citrus & the previous homunculi, and also Jerry. So when he sees Jerry try to woo his 20 year old niece, every protective instinct in his body goes on full alert. He becomes their ultimate cockblocker and Jerry had never wanted to strangle anyone more. Citrus however has no clue what's going on and is just enjoying spending time with her uncle and that other guy who brings flowers sometimes :')

Citrus tells Pan how Jerry is nice, he tells her stories and brings her flowers, he's kind for a human!

"and then what next, you'll tell me he can swallow noodles through his nose and find it awesome? Or borrow my stuff to give it to him?"

"of course not, he isn't completely stupid! Who would even do that? It's not awesome it's gross!"

Will Billy ever come to exist in this AU?

Then Pan will also have to deal with Aelfric also trying to woo her, and Rhea's useless because she calls Aelfric "her child" while Pan has to explain her that no for human, if they are both "her children" they can't court!

It's Schrödinger's hand holding! The benefit of hcs is that you can have contradictory ones at the same time! In the verses where they do hold hands, Pan reveals who he is and Loog'n'Kyphon are super cool with it and tell no one!

No Loog'n'Kyphon "sekrit history" then?

It would be hilarious for he and Rhea to have "edit wars", Rhea pushing the "Bestest Greatest Emperor to have existed Willy" while Pan pushes the "super brave and strong and courageous King Loog", and children of the monastery will judge, if they prefer to play "pretend I'm the super king of Lions" Pan wins, but if they prefer to play "I'm the Great Emperor who defeated the evil nemesis!" Rhea wins.

Cichol returns and calls them hopeless.

[houseisekai]

House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Prologue (Rebuild)

DING, DING DING DING, DONG!

[Life in Garreg Mach Monastery - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

Sitri yawned as she heard the Monastery' bell echo throughout Garreg Mach. Rubbing her eyes, she slowly turned to the window that was letting sunlight in. It was in the sunlight Sitri saw a familiar figure crossing her arms and a scowl staring straight into her.

(Sothis) "I swear, the sleeping problems must run throughout the entire family."

(Sitri) yawn "Good morning, Sothis."

(Sothis) "It's noon, not morning!"

Sitri didn't respond as she lazily got off the bed and sat herself in a chair front of the mirror. She dug around her drawers trying to find a brush before she heard Sothis continue.

(Sothis) "I can't believe anyone could possibly sleep in this much!"

Sitri squinted at Sothis via the mirror as the brush straightened her dark green hair.

(Sitri) "I don't think you're in any position to lecture me about sleeping in."

(Sothis) "I stopped doing that years ago while you have yet to-!"

After a little bit, Sitri began to tune the noise out. She got into her uniform and checked the mirror. Her modified nun outfit didn't display any dirt as the capelet covered her left shoulder. The armored gauntlets were comfortably resting in her elbows and forearms. Sitri's eyes travelled down to her waist, where a small blue dagger sat on her belt.

Sitri finally tuned back into Sothis talking, who was still going off about her sleep schedule. Deciding this was too early in the afternoon to deal with, Sitri cut her off.

(Sitri) "Sothis. Enough. It's time we head out."

(Sothis) "Ugh, we are not done talking about this!"

Sitri chuckled, pushing open the door and her eyes taking a moment to adjust to how bright today was. She turned to her right to see a multitude of students hanging around the student dorms. Some of them waved to her, to which she politely waved back with a smile.

The students seemed to be enjoying their Sunday off, all spending their free time relaxing, studying, or training with friends. After all this time, the sight never failed to make Sitri relax. As she approached the faculty office, the sounds of chatter were drowned out by mechanical footsteps.

A steel golem that stood about three times the height of a normal man slowly walked past her, the clanking armor of a patrol of soldier right behind it drowning out the students. Sothis appeared behind Sitri, both of them staring at it as it slowly walked onto the bridge leading into the Cathedral.

(Sitri) "I still can't believe we're able to produce something like that in this day and age."

(Sothis) "Times are changing, I suppose."

Ever since the Church of Seiros was dissolved, Adrestia and Leicester led the charge of technological advancement. All 3 nations managed to recover technologies thought lost to time, though they were heavily assisted by the Zanado Tower.

Fodlan went from torches and horses to lights and metal carriages powered by electricity, fuel, and magic in two short years. Many of the ideas of their newfound technology was heavily borrowed, however. Sitri seemed to recall Dimitri and Edelgard mentioning it was the Persona Users and Class VII who had access to this advanced tech, giving them the foundation to build upon. The Zanado Tower allowed the scientists of Fodlan to access the memories of the offworlders to create their own versions of what they saw.

Chief among them being the Armiger Knight, a copy of Rean Schwarzer's Valimar. It was a golem made of metal, big enough for a person to get inside and take control of with a combination of magic and levers. It resembled a statue of a knight when standing still, the limbs and head being lanky enough to pass as humanoid. The Armiger had been around for almost a year now ever since the first few prototypes were deployed in Adrestia.

The three nations of Fodlan had a few regiments of them, but it was Garreg Mach that possessed the highest number of Armigers. Sitri had received training on how to pilot them, but never owned a private one, deciding it'd be better to give hers to the student body for training purposes.

It was just one of many things she could never get used to seeing, no matter how many times she saw it walk past her.

Beep beep!

Sitri's attention went to her belt as she pulled out a small flat crystal. Speaking of technology she hadn't gotten used to...

It began glowing with blue energy as a voice spoke out of it.

(Mercedes's Voice) "Headmaster? Everyone is here at the Audience Chamber as you requested."

(Sitri) "I'm on my way."

The crystal dimmed as Sitri put it back in her pocket. They were called Communicator Crystals, last she recalled. She felt the name was a bit too long, but couldn't be bothered to think of a shorter name. Not that she invented these things anyway. This was still in the prototype phase, so only a select few throughout Fodlan owned them. Garreg Mach Monastery again owned the highest amount of them.

Everyone in her staff owned one, including her. Deciding she had kept them waiting long enough, Sitri began to walk towards the faculty office, making sure to acknowledge and greet every student who bowed or said hello. Arriving upon the entrance to the offices, she gave a nod to the two guards in front, who wore the colors of Faerghus and Leicester.

Sitri made her way up the stairs towards the Audience Chamber, passing by several Adrestian soldiers who gave her a salute as she walked by. Sitri saluted them back as they stepped to the side to let her pass. She opened the door to see her staff waiting for her. Yuri gave a casual wave with one hand while Constance bowed. Mercedes smiled and gave a nod. Recette excitedly waved while Tear floated next to her shoulder, gracefully bowing.

(Mercedes) "Afternoon, Headmaster!"

(Yuri) "Little late, dont'cha think?"

(Tear) "Reminds me of a certain someone who's been sleeping in too much."

(Recette) "Hey, it's not like we were late or anything, Sitri was later than us!"

(Constance) "I am not sure that is something you should be banking on, Miss Lemongrass."

(Sitri) "Hah, sorry about that everyone."

Sothis simply sighed and floated over next to Tear. She could've chosen anywhere to float, but decided to hang around the few people that could actually see her. Mercedes, Yuri, and Constance, along with the rest of Fodlan, seemed to forget she ever existed alongside them.

Sitri walked to the front of the room and stood straight, nodding at everyone.

(Sitri) "Now, let us discuss our findings this week. Yuri, please start us off."

...

Kairos sat in front of his desk, slowly turning through the pages of a spellbook he had been studying for almost a week now. He could recite the movement needed to cast it entirely by memory, but he wanted to be safe than sorry. There was no telling if the upcoming practical exam Tuesday was going to throw a curveball. Before he could focus any more attention to the repetitious task, he heard a knock at the door.

Knock knock knock!

He grunted in slight annoyance, adjusting his glasses before responding.

(Kairos) "The door is open."

The door gently swung open as he heard the clanking of armor walk into the room. Although many soldiers were heavily armored in the Monastery, there was only one person in it who'd pay Kairos any mind.

(Stefan) "Still studying?"

(Kairos) "Hm."

(Stefan) "Come on, today's beautiful outside, you can't spend it all cooped up in here!"

(Kairos) "And have you already finished studying for the practical?"

(Stefan) "Er..."

Stefan laughed nervously, which told Kairos all he needed to know. Kairos spun around in his chair to face Stefan, giving an unamused look.

(Kairos) "Frankly, I'm more worried for your grades than mine. But, you do have a point. Some fresh air would be nice."

Stefan immediately perked up as he stepped to the side, arms gesturing out the door.

(Stefan) "Great! Let's grab something to bite real quick, I'm starving!"

Kairos chuckled and got up, the both of them walking towards the dining hall together. On the way, they saw an Armiger in the courtyard wobbling. Any student and guard steered clear of the field, letting it have the space to fall in case it did. A soldier bearing Adrestian colors and golden trims was the only one who stood close by, arms crossed and shaking his head.

(Soldier) "No, the lever on the top right, Mcgrath. If you don't turn that downwards, your Armiger will have its locking mechanism in place!"

(Stefan) "Oh man, that explains it. Elizabeth is in there."

(Kairos) "Psh, who cares about her? Just let her deal with it."

Kairos made a notion to keep moving, but Stefan couldn't help himself and walked towards the Armiger. The soldier immediately noted his presence.

(Soldier) "Ah, Stefan. I'd stand back if I were you. Mcgrath is struggling with this thing."

Elizabeth's voice rung out from the Armiger, obviously shaky.

(Elizabeth's Voice) "M-My apologies, sir! I am used to horseback riding not...whatever this is!"

(Stefan) "Elizabeth! Once you turn the locking mechanism off, use your magic to stabilize the Armiger, otherwise you'll fall!"

A brief moment of silence passed before the Armiger suddenly stood upright. No longer wobbling, it stood completely still.

(Elizabeth's voice) "I...I did it! Haha, YES!"

The soldier turned to Kairos and nodded.

(Soldier) "Appreciate the help, son. Alright Mcgrath, that's enough for today. You can dismount it."

The center of the Armiger swung open, Elizabeth slowly stepping outside and landing on the ground. Once she dusted off her pants, she bowed to the soldier.

(Elizabeth) "Thank you for the training as always, Engineer Adams!"

(Adams) "Thank your friend here, I only made sure you didn't fall flat on your ass. Now, as you were, I gotta take this thing back to the Cathedral."

Adams waved his hand nonchalantly and went into the cockpit and walking off with the Armiger. Elizabeth smiled at Stefan and did a more proper bow, fit for a noble.

(Elizabeth) "Then I am in your debt once again, Stefan!"

Stefan bashfully rubbed the back of his neck as he averted his gaze.

(Stefan) "I-It's nothing, really. I just spend a lot of time training in the Armigers, so I know what the feeling is like when you first take control of it."

(Elizabeth) "Yes, I'm afraid I still haven't gotten used to them...Oh! I apologize for interrupting you during a day off!"

(Stefan) "Don't worry, I'm always glad to help. I was just about to grab lunch with Kairos."

Upon mentioning the name, Elizabeth's smile quickly disappeared, her gaze slowly going to her right as Kairos approached.

(Kairos) "You done, Stefan?"

(Elizabeth) "Ah. I imagine you had some smidge of satisfaction watching me bumble about, Kairos."

(Kairos) "When it involves you, I doubt I can feel anything remotely positive, Elizabeth."

(Stefan) "C-Come on you two...-"

Before Stefan could unsuccessfully attempt to calm them down, both Kairos and Elizabeth's ears were yanked downwards, catching them both off guard.

(Kairos) "OW! OW OW OW!"

(Elizabeth) "AGH?!"

When their eyes looked to the source, it was a small girl pulling both their ears.

(Helena) "No fighting. Professor's orders."

Helena let go, both of them startled by how surprisingly strong she was. Kairos straightened his glasses as he shook his head.

(Kairos) "Ugh, damn you can pinch hard..."

(Elizabeth) "Helena, dear, I thought I taught you better than to sneak up out of nowhere like that!"

Helena simply shrugged with a deadpan expression. She then turned to Stefan with the same face.

(Helena) "If these two are too busy ripping out each other's throats, I can eat lunch with you."

(Stefan) "Ha...Thanks, I think?"

(Kairos) "Nonsense, we were just going-."

(Stefan) "Elizabeth, would you like to join us?"

Kairos immediately spun around to Stefan, his eye twitching underneath his glasses.

(Elizabeth) "Well...it'd be remiss of me to pay back your kindness for assisting me earlier, so very well."

(Stefan) "Just...play nicely you two."

(Kairos/Elizabeth) "I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING!"

The four departed for the mess hall, Kairos and Elizabeth glaring at each other while Helena and Stefan shrugged. When they reached the entrance, they heard a voice call out to them.

(Astrid) "Oh hey, over here!"

Kairos and Helena waved hello and once everyone grabbed their food, they sat by Astrid who was sitting alone at the end of the table, 3 plates of food her only company.

Everyone else had one plate of food, and even then it was barely covered.

(Kairos) "Good goddess, Astrid. Think this is enough?"

(Astrid) munch munch "Whayameab?"

Helena, still having her blank expression, just shook her head.

(Helena) "No talking with your mouth full."

Taking the time to swallow her food, Astrid asked the question again.

(Astrid) gulp! "Ah! What do you mean? We go through a lot of energy throughout the day, you know!"

Stefan looked at his one plate then back to Astrid's.

(Stefan) "...She's got a point. I'm getting more."

He got up from his seat with a newfound fire in his eyes, making everyone but Astrid sigh.

(Astrid) "See, he gets it!"

(Elizabeth) "But what about dinner? You both will spoil your appetites!"

(Astrid) "Nonsense, we got a lot of training to do for the practical exams, we'll work up a big one too!"

(Kairos) "Ah, speaking of which, how are your studies going? I can basically see my spellbook whenever I close my eyes."

Helena completely froze before she could put the fork into her mouth.

(Helena) "...Exam?"

(Astrid) "Yeah, Tuesday morning, we'll be getting judged by our professors for our combat capabilities. You didn't know?"

Helena's shoulders seemed to relax after she processed Astrid's words.

(Helena) "Oh. Nothing to worry about then."

(Elizabeth) "You haven't studied at all, did you?"

(Kairos) "While I don't think anyone should skip out on their coursework, I think Helena will do just fine...The physical portion anyway."

Helena only grunted in response. Stefan sat back down next to Kairos and turned to her.

(Stefan) "Well we don't need to worry about the written portion for a while! Besides, it's the physical part that matters in a practical exam anyway."

(Astrid) "Agreed. The whole writing part of them is pretty pointless."

(Elizabeth) "Hmph, says you! I will have you all attend my study sessions once this exam is over, you have grown far too lax!"

(Kairos) "Hey, what makes you think I can't teach Stefan or Astrid?"

(Elizabeth) "Your intelligence is not being called into question, Kairos. It's your willingness to let them skip out on sessions!"

(Astrid) "As if you don't do the same with Helena-"

(Elizabeth) "-That is NOT because I let her, it's because she keeps hiding!"

Finally, Helena cracked a small smile.

(Helena) "Yup."

(Elizabeth) sigh "I do wish you'd take this more seriously. This exam not a matter of just grades, but Headmaster Eisner will be a close eye for the exceptional students!"

Stefan, Helena, and Astrid stiffened upon hearing the last part.

(Astrid) "W-Wait, really?!"

(Kairos) "If you had been paying attention in class, you'd have known that by now. Those chosen few will be taken into a special class personally led by her."

(Stefan) "Oh crap! We gotta get started soon!"

Stefan and Astrid began scarfing down their food, much to Elizabeth's dismay. Kairos just shook his head while Helena shrugged.

...

(Mercedes) "-...and that about sums up what I've seen out of the student body. There were a few who seemed promising, but we will not know until Tuesday's Exam."

Sitri put a finger to her chin as she took everyone's words into consideration.

(Constance) "Do you truly think the students are ready to travel all over Fodlan? I do not believe even back in the day, we were."

(Yuri) "Frankly, times are even more dangerous now than they were back then."

(Recette) "It's not many that are going out right? We're just picking the best ones out of everyone."

(Mercedes) "Recette dear, we do not want to see even one of our students get hurt. Garreg Mach is safe, but everywhere else..."

(Tear) "Hm. From what I've read on the reports, the attacks in Adrestian and Leicester territories have increased."

Sothis looked over to Sitri, crossing her arms.

(Sothis) "So, what are you thinking?"

Sitri's eyes looked up, but spoke only inside her own head.

(Sitri) Back in the day, Byleth and his students went out to solve these...problems for the Church.

(Sothis) "Yes, but the times have changed. The world is arguably more volatile than before, what with these Separatists, the remnants of Those Who Slither and Church. Taking the students out of Garreg Mach could be incredibly dangerous for them."

(Sitri) Well, this IS an officer's academy. But you raise a fair point.

Sitri tuned back into the conversation everyone else was having.

(Yuri) "Well, even when we find the chosen few students, how are we gonna teach the houses? I doubt any of us want to take them into the warzone that is Fhirdiad."

(Mercedes) "I do not think we'll have a choice. Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude will ask us many tasks. Sitri's group the most dangerous ones, presumably."

(Constance) "Hm...I wish we had more of our old friends around."

(Recette) "Oh, maybe we can hire adventurers?"

(Tear) "I do not think we can entrust them with the safety of our students, only our gold. And that can easily be betrayed as well."

(Sitri) "Hm. And Mercedes had a point, we're going to get called into some dangerous missions. It's not like the nations can spare any more soldiers to us than they already have-..."

Sitri's eyes lit up, catching everyone's attention. Since Sothis could read her mind, her eyes were already going wide.

(Constance) "Lady Sitri?"

(Sitri) "We're short on help, the threats in this world are rising exponentially higher, and we need people we can trust to teach our students."

(Yuri) "And...who'd those people be?"

...

...

[Dead Broke - Konosuba OST]

Kazuma sat on the chair, tapping his fingers against the armrest sighing loudly. No one was in the house currently. Megumin was off casting explosions with Yunyun, Darkness, surprisingly, was off doing Noble duties. And as for Aqua…Who the hell knows what she was up to right now?

(Kazuma) “So…god damn…BORED.”

He slumped back on the couch, grumbling to himself. Nothing sounded particularly entertaining or stimulating right now. Kazuma got off and began pacing back and forth trying to think of something. This was the fourth week in a row he had done nothing. At first he loved it. Then it hit him, there was no one at home to even talk to since they were off doing their own thing.

He had gotten exactly what he wanted, peace and quiet. Now, he had too much of it. There was no devil king to defeat, no quests to do, no one to even have lunch with.

(Kazuma) “Ugh...this SUCKS!”

He kicked the table leg in frustration, which only made his foot hurt and made him swear even more. Kazuma shook his head and went into the kitchen. He swung open the pantry, trying to find any bottles of wine-They were gone. Why the hell were they go-

(Kazuma) “THAT BLUE LITTLE BITCH.”

Aqua took all of it. Literally all of it. Even the ones he thought he hid. To say anyone outside could hear him would have been an understatement. He made one last scream of pure unadulterated anger before he fell to the floor, ready to cry. There was literally nothing to do. Nothing at all.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

(Kazuma) “…The hell?”

He sat up, feeling a vibration in his pocket. Raising an eyebrow he reached into it and pulled out a small crest.

(Kazuma) “When was this in my-”

It was a tiny badge of House Isekai’s logo.

(Kazuma) “Man…That’s something I haven’t thought of in a while…Wait a second, we never had anything like this, why the hell is it in my pocket?”

Beep! Beep! Beep!

(Kazuma) “…How do I make it shut up?”

He tried poking it.

Beep! Beep! Be-

He tried poking it multiple times. Except harder.

Beep! Be-

(Kazuma) “…”

He put it on the table, took a deep breath, then slammed it with his fist.

DING DING!

(Kazuma) “Thank go-”

BZZZRRRRRT!

Kazuma was about to scream before he heard a voice coming from it.

(Girl's voice) "H-Hello? Is this on? Am I speaking to Kazuma?"

(Kazuma) "...Yes, I'm Kazuma."

(Girl's voice) "Ah, it's been such a long time! It's so nice to hear your voice again!"

Kazuma's head racked for faces to connect the voice to. But narrowing it down, and by how cheerful the voice was, it could only be-

(Kazuma) "Towa?!"

(Towa's Voice) "Yup, yours truly!"

He felt a wave of relief wash over him. Finally, someone to talk to that wasn't a complete idiot.

(Kazuma) "...Wait, why'd you call me?"

(Towa's Voice) "You're actually the last person I'm calling. So far, I've got Rean and Aigis to respond."

If she was calling everyone then does that mean...?

(Kazuma) "Is this a high school reunion? Cause if it is, I didn't really-"

(Towa's Voice) "W-What? No. I'm afraid it's not as pleasant as that. It's about Fodlan."

Kazuma's casual demeanor suddenly vanished. It had been nearly three years since he and his party left Fodlan. And if they were suddenly calling for him, then that means-

(Kazuma) "What's happening there?"

(Towa's Voice) "I'm not sure. The situation seems to be a bit murky. All we know is Sitri called us for help. I've been trying to call and get everyone we can, but...It seems like we'll only have the three of us. We understand if you have your own duties to attend to in your world."

Part of him did NOT want to go back to Fodlan. It wasn't simple like this world, there wasn't any clear cut good guy or bad guy. And yet...

(Kazuma) "...I'm in."

(Towa's Voice) "R-Really?"

(Kazuma) "If our friends back home are in danger, say no more. Besides, was always hard to say no to you, Towa."

(Towa's Voice) "Heh, I'll be sure to remember that Kazuma. Just call me back when you're ready!"

(Kazuma) "Got it."

Kazuma put the crest on the table as he looked around. Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin probably wouldn't be home for another couple days.

(Kazuma) "If that whole time passing bullshit is the same like last time..."

Years in Fodlan meant minutes in his world passed. That wasn't something he could risk. He rushed to his room and put on his adventuring gear, taking his tracksuit as well.

Making sure his sword was on his belt and cape on his back was adjusted, he found a piece of paper and wrote a note before leaving.

Fodlan is in trouble. House Isekai is getting called. Get your asses in here ASAP. - Kazuma

Leaving it on the table where the crest was, Kazuma sighed deeply. When he wanted something to do, this was NOT what he envisioned getting. He was glad at least some familiar faces would be there to greet him. Kazuma had no idea if he was actually ready for the upcoming fight, but there was one thing he knew. He couldn't run away, as much as he wanted to.

Not after so many friends died protecting that world.

Unlike him, they don't get to resurrect and try again. So in the end, it was up to him, Rean, Towa, and Aigis from what he heard.

(Kazuma) "Towa? This is Kazuma. Let's send in the cavalry."

[mommymooze]

The Legendary Mister Bones

“Homework! Momma gave us homework during winter break?“ Jeralt huffs at his twin sister.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have broke the vase we probably could still be playing Knights and thieves in the halls. She’s just keeping us busy and out of trouble. I know these things.” Sothifina complains, her brows furrowing over her emerald green eyes.

Lambert, oldest of the four Blaiddyd children gathers them into an old meeting room repurposed for their tutoring. Seated at the end of a large table they gather writing instruments and paper.

The Queen enters with the youngest child. Blue hair and large blue eyes, the boy is lowered from his mother’s hip. He hugs his mother’s legs, then runs to his siblings, hugging them all like it has been weeks since he has seen them when in reality it has only been since breakfast. Lambert picks up his little brother and seats him on the chair next to him. There are a few books on the seat as a booster, so that he can see well over the top of the table. Lambert places the box of colored waxes next to him with papers. Glenn is barely six and learning to write letters and his name. Professor Ignatz says he has natural talent, so Glenn will be the artist for this project.

“I want you all to work on writing a story for me. When it is finished you can read it to us before bedtime. You all will work together on it.” The Queen smiles, however, the children heard that serious tone to her voice, and they would have to follow her royal orders. “I will have lunch brought to you. Lambert is in charge. Jeralt, before you try to escape, I have a guard posted at the door.”

An audible groan emits from Jeralt, he hitshis forehead on the table.

“Behave. I love you.” Queen Byleth says as she leaves, closing the door behind her.

“Told you.” Sothifina says with a smirk.

Jeralt creeps to the door and sneaks a peak through a crack. “It’s Bones. We’re stuck.”  Trudging back to his chair he puts his elbow on the table and jams his chin onto his hand.

“What shall we write about?” Lambert works to get them organized.

Glenn chirps excitedly, “Lammy! We can write about Mister Bones!” The most creative of the bunch has found the answer.

“Yes!” Jeralt begins to get excited. “We can have sword fights and battles and …”

“Magic!” Sothifina cuts in.

The four are now excited about the project. Lambert takes notes about what to include in the story.

The prince was lost deep in the woodlands of Faerghus, far from his warm, safe home in Fhirdiad. He bravely battled alone against thieves and brigands and everyone that had threatened the peaceful life in the nearby villages. It was a cold and stormy night when he sought refuge in a hut nestled deep within the darkest, scariest heart of the woods. He was not well.

“That’s a good start.” Lambert says, thinking out loud.

“But you only say there was fighting. I want to talk about the fight itself, and blood spraying and arms flying off and sparks when the blades hit each other.” Whines Jeralt as he waves his quill around like a sword stabbing in the direction of his sister.

“I know what comes next, let me do this part.” Sothifina’s eyes sparkle as she puts ink to paper.

The Prince entered the dilapidated building with great caution. The furniture was ruined and appeared to be very, very, old. Taking his lance tip, he poked at the bed but only found nests of rats and mice. At the foot of the bed, covered in decaying cloths, he jabbed his lance into the pile and was rewarded with the sound of something solid amongst the refuse. He swiped the filthy and ruined materials away to find a black box. It stood as tall as his knee and was covered by black metal. The box was locked. No normal man would be able to open the lid of the box, but the Prince was certainly not ordinary. As if he were opening a birthday present, he ripped the lid from the box and peered inside.

A dark black book covered in magical runes sat on the top. He did not know magic so he put it away to save for his daughter.

“You can’t say that. He didn’t know anything about getting married, much less having kids at that time.” Lambert frowns

Okay, Okay Let me fix it.” Sothifina sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrates.

He did not know magic, but felt it wise to stash the book away, keeping it safe from enemy hands.

That’s better, now we can talk about enemies with swords and blades and fighting.” Jeralt chimes in.

“No. Not yet. Remember father has told us these stories, but we are trying to write it more focused on Mister Bones.” Sotifina chastises her twin, trying very much to sound like mother.

Jeralt sits back in his chair, resting his cheek in his palm as he kicks the table leg next to him while trying to be patient.

Below the book there were three mysterious daggers, each having a different colored stone within the center of the hilt. A ring lay alongside them. The last and most important item in the box was a sack tied with a red ribbon. The sack was very old, but it looked new compared to everything else found in the hut.  He took it out of the box and lay it on the ground. He untied the sack and peered inside. It was nothing but a bag of old bones. human bones, and nothing else. He turned away to poke at other piles on the floor with his lance when a rattling sound caught his attention. Strange magic was afoot as  before him, from the bones in the sack a skeleton started to assemble itself. The last piece was the skull that rolled up the front of the body and settled on the neck. The skeletons hands made a final adjustment and then stood absolutely still in front of him. The man stood back and gasped, his hand coming to his heart. “What kind of monster are you?” he said as he was shocked to see the skeleton.

“Bonesss” the skeleton answered. So he called the skeleton Bones from then on.

Bones stayed with the prince throughout the first five years of the war. It was like a skeleton version of Dedue, always working hard for the Prince and helping him with his goals. Bones would hold the cloak of the prince over him while he slept, like a big boney tent frame. Bones did not talk much. The Prince, because he was sick, did not really wanted to be talked to, so they got along very well.

One night, close to the Millennium festival at the monastery, the Prince had to get rid of some thieves that were stealing rare artifacts. The prince held his lance on high and announced in a mighty voice, “Die you foul and dirty rats! I shall cleanse the world of you! He swung his mighty lance with his super great strength and took out five of them with a single blow! He was truly awesome and cool.

“We did pretty good until this last part. This is supposed to be about Mister Bones, not about father.” Lambert tries to rein in his younger brother. Let me fix that last paragraph entirely.

It was getting closer to the Millennium festival’s celebration time. Although the festival would not be held due to the war, all of the Blue Lions agreed to meet at the monastery on that date. The prince, although he was suffering, he too wanted to be there at the academy. He was joined by Bones, his loyal companion. The deadly duo were the first to arrive. They found the evildoers hiding in the great hall. The prince raised his mighty lance and fought the thieves that had tried to make this place their home. Bones fought alongside the Prince. Bones was a mighty fighter, wielding two swords at the same time. Bones was careful to watch the Prince’s back, protecting him from anyone that may try to sneak up on him. Bones did not worry about getting killed in battle, he was already dead. They could stab him and hit him and he could not bleed or feel pain. One of the thieves was a mage, and tried to burn bones with fire. Bones still felt no pain and because he was made with magic the fire did not affect him. Bones took his swords and attacked the mage, finishing him off like the Prince did with his fellow bandits.

Bones was very strong and took the bodies outside while the Prince tended to his wounds. They cleaned out the Great Hall and the Training grounds. They cleaned out the students dormitories. They found that some of the thieves had locked themselves in a students room. Bones finger fit in the lock and opened it like it was a skeleton key. Then the duo ran into the room, swords and lance flashing, bringing swift justice against the evil thieves.  

The prince knew that Bones was magical but not indestructible. Sometimes his bones would break and they would have to be repaired. This took a lot of time, so they took the armor off of the thieves and evil people they came across. Some of it they used to protect bones, some of it they used to repair the prince’s armor. Bones was very scary to anyone meeting him in battle. With a helmet and plate across his chest, greaves and gauntlets, heavy boots, Bones looked more like a regular person, until you were close and looked into his face. Some cowards ran as soon as they saw what he really was.  Once they had cleared most of the buildings, they cleared the Cathedral and the last building was the Goddess tower.  It was a difficult battle, mostly fought on stairs where the enemy had the advantage, but Bones and the Prince refused to give up. They fought until the last enemy had been dispatched.  They sat together on the highest level. The prince needed sleep and Bones needed to repair many of his bones that were broken in the last fight.

Professor Byleth soon came back to the monastery after her very long sleep. She found the Prince sleeping at the top. They talked and then they had to go out and remove more thieves. He told Bones to come along and he did. The Professor looked at Bones and went along to go and fight. She was not scared of the walking skeleton.

They ran outside and found their classmates one by one. They had not noticed Bones until the fighting was over.  Bones was standing a distance behind the prince when Annette looked over and saw the face sticking out of the helmet. She screamed and threw a fireball at the skeleton. Bones stood still as the leather on the armor he was wearing caught fire and burned.  The Prince explained how he found Bones and that was his companion and nobody on his side should try to kill him.

Lysithea, Annette and Ashe disagreed. It was like having a ghost living with them because Bones was dead and so were ghosts. Professor Byleth explained that this was magic and it was okay.  The three of them stayed as far away as they could because Bones creeped them out. Mercedes thought it was funny and laughed and help put out the fire on Bones.

They all moved back into their own dormitories, except for the Prince who still was ill and had terrible headaches. He stayed in the Cathedral and Bones watched over him there. Things went okay unless a certain trio had to bring food to the Prince. Bones would prevent anyone from attacking him and stand in front of the prince so that he could not attack them either. This week the first to bring food was Mercedes.  She waved to bones as she brought a plate of lunch. She tried to talk to the Prince but he ignored her. When she got back to her friends, Lysithea, Ashe and Annette were all very curious as to how it went. Was she attacked? What happened?

Mercedes said it went quietly.  “Dimitri ignored me. Bones looked very calm. I guess nothing can get under his skin, eh?

Ashe started to chuckle, “Oh! I get it! He doesn’t have any skin to get under. Hah.”

Lysithea groaned while Annette just looked worried about when it was her turn to bring food.

Wherever the Prince went, Bones followed behind and stood behind him. The skeleton was large and his chest was very wide. It reminded everyone of Dedue, who they were told died when he saved Dimitri from being assassinated.

Some of the students decided maybe they could give Bones a different look, just so they would not think of it being so much like Dedue.  They told Bones to take off his armor if he was just around the monastery. That pretty much creeped out Annette, Ashe and Lysithea even more. Mercedes found a light blue dress in the back of the bathhouse, so she put that on Bones. They tied white gloves to the wrists and put a large white wide brimmed hat on the skull. Annette was even brave enough to get really close and put rouge on the cheeks of the skull. Annette giggled. Now Bones looked pretty funny and not really scary at all.

They started making skeleton jokes at dinner.

“Hey Ashe! When does a skeleton laugh? When you tickle it’s funny bone!” Annette giggled.

“I got one.” Mercedes piped up, “How does the skeleton know if it is raining? It can feel it on its bones.”

Lysithea joined in, “Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because it had no BODY to go with.”

Linhardt was walking past and felt obligated to contribute. “Why did the skeleton not get up in the morning? Because it was a lazy bones.”

“Takes one to know one, Lin” Lysithea quipped, hoping to get under his skin.

One day the army had to head out for a mission. The group moved slowly due to their numbers. Dimitri spoke to Bones, sending him forward to scout out the roads. Bones ran ahead and after a while Bones ran back.

“50 Banditsss ahead” Bones said in a heavy whisper.

Sylvain and Lysithea were very shocked. Nobody had told them Bones could speak!

The army prepared and were able to vanquish the bandits with no trouble and few injuries. Bones was a useful scout and became invaluable to the army as the war continued.

The Prince was slowly feeling better. He was practicing the lance with Sylvain. Felix entered the training grounds. As soon as Felix took a training sword, Bones stood in front of him.

“Pull my finger” Bones said.

“What the heck.” Grunts Felix.

Bones holds out his hand and finger in front of Felix.

Felix pulls his finger.

Bones entire arm falls off.

“Ssssee you in court” Bones says then turns away. “Ssssucker” and walks back to stand behind Dimitri.

Felix stands there with the arm hanging from his hand.

Sylvain cannot hold it back any longer and begins to laugh his head off. Even the prince is laughing. Felix gets angry and beats Sylvain over the head with the arm and calls Sylvain a Numbskull.

Lambert stops just as lunch carts come through the door. Papers are cleared and the table is set, each child doing their assigned duty. Glenn places the napkins just so, making sure the silverware is lined up correctly. Lambert then fills the plates of his siblings. They talk about other things they know about Mister Bones and after lunch they will continue their homework. Jeralt and Sothifina had been writing their apology letters for disobeying the rule of playing Knights and Bandits inside the palace. Glenn was working on several illustrations for the story.

 Mister Bones fought well along with the rest of the former students. He did not need healing. He never bruised or bled. Lindhardt said that was his favorite thing about him. The skeleton would help protect everyone it could in battles. A thief would stab through the plate on his chest so Bones would turn, dragging the thief with him, disarming the thief or knocking them off balance so that they could be defeated.

There were a few things that were successful at attacking the animated bones. The dogs of the monastery were always following him around trying to steal a bone or two. Most of them gave up quickly, however there was one Blaiddyd Rex that was extremely fast and strong. It would hide around a corner, only to bound up to full speed, grabbing a leg bone and pulling it from the skeleton. They would then find it half buried somewhere inside the grounds.

Although very resistant to magic, heavily bladed wind spells would also cause damage to Mister Bones. It would have to soak in hot milk mixed with spinach, broccoli and collard greens to help him rebuild his calcium. He also used powdered bones mixed with thick cheese to fill in breaks and cracks. Fortunately, Mister Bones knew of his self-care needs. He could disassemble into his bones and fit in a large stewpot, so not a lot of the army’s food resources were needed for his caretaking. The only issue would be if the cooks came in early and checked the pot on the stove only to find a skeleton head smiling back at them.

Bones would help around the monastery, never tiring, never complaining. For being made of bones he was very strong. It  could pick up anyone, even Alois in full plate armor. Bones did a lot of rubble clearing, working all day, never breaking a sweat. While the former students and teachers would have meetings and stop for meals, it would be able to continue working. The Professor found that Bones was helpful in food gathering and hunts. They were quiet and very patient. Bones would direct her to a specific area in the woods where there would be plentiful mushrooms. One time the Professor asked why the skeleton knew where the mushrooms were there.

Mister Bones said, “I feel it in my…”

That was the last time the Professor asked that question.

Mister Bones was of use to everyone in battle. Besides being there to defend the Prince, they also helped defend the rest of the team mates. His bones were used temporarily as splints when theirs were broken. Whenever anyone was too weak to fight, he was the first to take them back to the medical tents.  When they were short of horses returning after a battle, it would give them piggyback rides all the way to the monastery. Whenever someone was sad, it listened patiently as they told of their woes and gave a boney hug to anyone that needed it.

When the war was over, Mister Bones was a participant in the coronation. Standing proudly next to the Professor who became the Archbishop, they held the crown that would be placed on Dimitri’s brow. It also attended the ball afterwards and had danced with every one of the Blue Lions and even a few members of the Golden Deer. Nobody worried about dancing with the skeleton, it never complained about anyone stepping on its feet.

It was a permanent figure at the castle and went with King Dimitri and Dedue on all their travels and missions. They frequented Garreg Mach for negotiations with Lords from the surrounding lands and other countries. There was a new church built in Fhirdiad, the Church of Sothis which is now headed by the Archbishop Byleth. The King and Archbishop married and live in the castle in the capital of the country. As with many marriages, they are blessed with children.

The Queen first has the baby in a cradle at the side of the bed, however after a few months, the baby is now in the adjoining nursery. The royal couple is awakened in the dark hours of early morning by a baby’s cry. The queen slowly awakens, dons her robe and slippers and opens the nursery door. To her surprise, Mister Bones is already there, changing the diaper of the young prince, then warmly swaddling the baby, he takes it in his bony arms, sits in the nearby rocking chair and rocks the baby asleep. The skeleton has been with the Queen many times as she has cared for the babe, perhaps it has learned this from her?  The Queen softly speaks, “I trust you Bones, should the baby need me, please do not hesitate to find me. Thank you for your yelp”

A silent nod is noted as the babe is slowly rocked to sleep.

The King and Queen had found that Mister Bones was an excellent nanny for the children. Bringing them to the queen for feedings, he then took them to be burped, changed and put back to bed. Bones would not sing them to sleep, he would tap on his ribs that would make musical notes and play them songs until the babies drifted into a peaceful sleep. He then stood guard next to their cribs so that no harm would come to them. As the babies grew older, the babies found that legbones of a skeleton were great to use to pull into a standing position. Also, skeletons had no limitations of how long they could bend over watching babies as they walked holding onto their legs. Jeralt learned to climb up the body of the skeleton to sit on its shoulders before he learned out to walk. Always the daredevil, Jeralt would urge bones to walk around so that Jeralt could grab at people that the skeleton ambled past.

Mister Bones was a very important and loved member of the Blaiddyd family. They all lived happily ever after.