#since i wanted to delve into her communication and imagination delay

[gaeulssims]

˗ˏˋ Welcome to toddlerhood ´ˎ˗

Maybe you can see by how fast she aged up but i have a fear with infants after what i had to deal with the twins… Happy birthday Guava! Prev | Next

[hijitae]

This was an ask I received on my main blog from a few years ago. I never got around to answering it at the time since I had gone on indefinite hiatus. I thought I would answer it here, now that a side blog exists for HijiTae purposes. The original Anon may not frequent Tumblr anymore, but here is a reply. My apologies for such a long delay. HijiTae was/is the only ship I discuss publicly on my main blog (due to its rare pair status), so it was okay to ask at that time.

Your message was a delight to receive. I’m always happy to hear from and learn that people started to consider Hijikata x Tae as a possibility because of my analyses, meta posts, and general rambling about them. 2021 marks my 14th year of shipping HijiTae, so I’ve seen a lot and done as much promotion for them as I could (hence this “retirement” blog), and I gained new friends as a result.

Now, onto the rest of your message:

In the old days of shipping, people were much more open-minded about multi-shipping and understood that just because you shipped one ship didn’t mean you were closed off to another. Today, not so much, I find - people’s feathers get easily ruffled at anyone who dares to ship against majority or consider different and new possibilities. For a series that promotes diversity and kindness, large parts of its fandom certainly engage a lot in rigorous gatekeeping against those who possess different viewpoints. It’s why I stayed away from fandom at large for more than a decade.

I think there is some distinction to make between viewing Hijikata as a “loner” vs “lonely.” I can get on board with Hijikata being a loner for the rest of his life in the romance department. It certainly fits the whole tragic romance trope with the survivor deciding not to love again; that they would only ever love that one person. For me, that works on some characters (across other series), but for Hijikata - well, I started shipping him with Tae from episode 18′s filler material and the Yagyuu arc’s canon moments. I shipped HijiTae before the Mitsuba Arc even aired, so I was already on board with them before I had been introduced to Mitsuba. I can just as easily see Hijikata by himself as I can see him with Tae for the remainder of his life. That’s the beauty of being free to imagine all kinds of possibilities.

I’m not going to speak too much of HijiMitsu here (especially since it would be a very unpopular opinion), but I didn’t really take to that ship - not because I was already shipping HijiTae but rather those kinds of ships aren’t as interesting to me as others. Usually in ships where one partner dies or is deceased already, people mourn over how they should’ve been together or say no one else can be with the surviving partner. Constantly lamenting over the tragedy of it all is just not for me. Also, the Stern Samurai x Yamato Nadeshiko type is a conventional ship that has been done many times over. It’s just not appealing to me within the context of Gintama. (Apologies to HijiMitsu fans, but hey, it’s a free fandom life, we all like and think differently.)

Mitsuba is a good soul, who should have received more spotlight, but Sorachi chose to use her only for Okita and Hijikata’s development as characters, and then the story never mentions her again except through a couple of subtle nods. I’ve nothing against her, and I don’t have a problem with people who ship HijiMitsu. That’s their preference. It only becomes a problem when people start drifting out of their lane to come into mine and tell me how I shouldn’t have my own preference but theirs only.

Anyway, this leads me to the “lonely” aspect and why I ship HijiTae. Hijikata is one of my most favourite characters, and I’d rather not envision him as feeling sad and lonely for the rest of his life. While Sorachi doesn’t delve into it, I like to think that Hijikata has come to terms with Mitsuba’s passing, his lack of action and communication, and general regrets over how he handled that situation. He’s a different person now, able to make better choices that won’t end with him regretting that he didn’t say or do enough. Mitsuba is so kind that I’m sure she already forgave him - back then and before the end. She’d want him to live on happily, regardless of what form that happiness takes. In the long run, I believe Hijikata would be able to let go of that regret, forgive himself in the process, and face the future more optimistically.

That’s where the shipping aspect comes in - Hijikata unexpectedly finding his second love in Tae (for many reasons I’ve outlined in past posts). Falling in love again is not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean one forgets or cares less for their first love. Sometimes the unexpected happens in life. Like I said, I can picture Hijikata living out the rest of his days alone and content with it AND I can also picture Hijikata sharing his life with Tae, likewise content at being granted a second chance at love (also, Togoro!). This is why HijiTae is a ship that challenges status quo; it promotes growth, moving forward, and letting your heart - after all the pain it has been through - love again. And I love that kind of ship best.

This post has been focused mostly on Hijikata because of the second half of your message, but there will be a series of posts on this blog regarding Tae and her half of this ship in which I address counterarguments and misconceptions for both.

Thank you once more for your message, although you probably might not see this reply! Again, sorry about that.

[darkpoisonouslove]

So I promised @trashcankitty12 a post about my headcanons about Griffin’s friendship with Ediltrude and Zarathustra and I’m delivering.

I’m just going to start with my headcanons for their personalities when they were younger (under a cut because it’s long again):

Ediltrude:

- She was actually the more aggressive twin when they were students and her first response to everything would be violence. Someone said something bad about her? Spell the bitch. Someone sabotaged a scheme of hers? Get revenge. Someone did something to Zara? Okay, call the police because there will be a murder here.

- She was the “wild” one that always had a new boyfriend (that she’d dump after a while and find herself another victim) and was always at parties getting wasted but then showing up the next day at class in top shape. Nobody knew how she was doing that.

- In that vein, she was at the top of every class, always having the best grades. She had to be better than everyone she hated, you know? It was law! There was no question about it.

- She always wanted attention (but, like, in a cute way and mostly from her sis) and her presence demanded it, really. And she was always “fashionably late” (except for classes).

- Jewelry is her thing! Especially rings and necklaces. She hoards them by the ton.

- She can’t cook for shit. And she doesn’t really eat that much (tbh all the witches are anorexic but that’s not a topic I want to delve into rn because I have STRONG opinions about it that don’t belong here). Zara is kind of worried about her, especially when she knows the only thing in her system is alcohol. But Ediltrude seems to be handling herself (better than Zara is tbh)

- Ediltrude is actually very emotional but she hides that fact behind a cold and unfeeling facade that also conceals her trust issues. You don’t have to be worried about people approaching you if everyone’s scared to approach you, you know?

- She’s independent, you know! Never mind that she wouldn’t last a day without her sis because there’d be no one she could talk to.

- She has a fierce love for animals, especially snakes, and had a shitton of them while they were still living at home before signing up for Cloud Tower. Zara was so done with it. Imagine the following convo:

Zara: I can’t step on the floor because your pets are everywhere. Edi: I’m sorry… that you’re a dumbass who can’t remember she can fly. Zara: I’m not flying in my own home! I want to be able to step on the floor. Edi: And I want to be able to take care of my pets in peace. Zara: Oh, I will give you peace! *death glare*

Ironically, Ediltrude’s cat loves Zara (possibly even more than Ediltrude) and always cuddles into her. Zara is so done with all the cat hair on her clothes. She never shoos the cat away though.

- Her other strength is divination which she mostly uses to mess with people by telling them what will go wrong with their relationships. And if you really piss her off, she might give you a prediction of your death.

Zarathustra:

- She was a bit more controlled in her temper compared to her sister but you didn’t want to be the target of her words. She was the queen of sass and sarcasm. Her anger was also more insidious and delayed than Ediltrude’s and while Edi would get her revenge on you on the spot and then proceed with her life, Zara would let you stew in anxiety over when she’d get back at you.

- Zara is actually a few minutes older than Ediltrude. She resorts to calling her “baby sister” sometimes to which Ediltrude’s response always is “Talking shit again I see”. And while Zara would tease her with the fact that she’s a bit younger because she knew it annoyed Edi even if she didn’t show it, she still felt kind of responsible for her as she is a little older (which is kind of ridiculous because she can’t handle herself but we give her points for trying).

- Zara was more awkward in social situations or at least so it seemed because she didn’t bother trying to hide her uneasiness around people. But that wouldn’t stop her from blurting out what was on her mind which usually wasn’t very flattering. But hey, people usually deserved it.

- She’s sort of a nihilist (and would totally fit in with Millennials and Gen Z) and can be a bit depressing to be around sometimes. But she’ll send you all the memes (let’s pretend they had memes, okay). That was her primary way of communication at one point and Ediltrude was a little worried (not to mention sick of the damn memes). But they got over it and Zara is more talkative now.

- She has a more instinctual approach when it comes to magic and didn’t spend that much time studying. She preferred to practice instead and have physical, tangible results instead of something she read in a book which often ended up in a spell gone wrong.

- She is always exhausted because she can never sleep. Ediltrude is pretty convinced the cause is in a potion that went wrong when they were 13 but Zara wouldn’t hear a word of it. She blames it on stress and everyone pissing her off which results in restlessness and sleep problems.

- She pretty much runs on coffee since she gets very little sleep and is kinda a mess. But when it comes to insults, her brain is always ready and on the go. You can’t beat her at that no matter how sleep deprived she is. If only that were true when it came to her studies.

- She is actually a big fan of food (she has to get energy somewhere since she can’t sleep) but stays thin no matter how much she eats. She can barely cook, though, although she is better at it than Ediltrude. But not by much.

- Her strength are potions which she always experiments with. That results in utter chaos at her working space since there are ingredients everywhere. Ediltrude was afraid her animals would accidentally eat the wrong thing and either turn into an object or into a demon.

- Which Zara would’ve probably liked because demons have always been of special interest to her. She’s pretty sure she has a few of those trapped in her own soul and that she would be besties with any demons she can summon. Ediltrude had to keep the summoning spells under lock and key to be sure that she won’t find her sister possessed some day.

Griffin:

- Griffin was the quietest of the three, yet, the most menacing. Nobody dared mess with her after she taught some seniors a lesson for calling her pixie because of the whole thing with Faragonda. Well, nobody but Edi and Zara. But that’s stuff for later.

- She was a bookworm and spent a lot of time in the library, always reading about spells and anything else she could get her hands on, really. Books helped her calm down and escape the crushing reality. She was safe between the pages where the world’s resentment for her couldn’t reach her.

- Her strength were her words but she wasn’t afraid to act when the situation called for it. And there was a situation like that any other day tbh. Someone would decide to be an idiot and she’d have to interfere.

- She was clearly a strategist and would think everything through, coming up with the perfect plan to mess with some fairies or get revenge on a witch that crossed her.

- She was religious about her studies, much like Ediltrude, and the two were always competing for the first place at every class while Zara would just roll her eyes at them and try to take a nap. She didn’t get enough sleep for this shit!

- She is the one member of the trio that can actually cook and won’t burn the whole kitchen down in the process. However, she survives mainly on tea. She has all the tea and that’s pretty much her only intake when it comes to food and liquids. Zara was absolutely shocked when she learned that. Even Ediltrude enjoyed a normal, healthy meal once in a while. But not Griffin. Makes you wonder why she’s so good at cooking. She actually enjoys taking care of others by making them meals but she would never admit it.

- She knows everything about plants and is a specialist on herbalism. Have a health problem? She’ll cure you in hours. She has so many plants you feel like you’re in the jungle.

- She’s not that much into animals but crows have always liked her and she - them. They are one of the most intelligent animals and she feels them as companions in a way. Their presence calms her and helps chase away the loneliness.

- She also knows everything about crystals and how to use them in spells. Especially healing spells. She’s always been good at those but all the negativity and hate the world has been giving her for the fact that she’s a witch with dark magic pushed her to seek out the more destructive side of her magic and utilize it instead of what she was naturally good at.

- Her knowledge of astronomy helps her coordinate her spells so that they draw power from the cosmos, making her magic even stronger since she’s using nature in her favor. It gave her a big advantage on all the other witches and she loved showing off with that by challenging seniors to sparring (when she wasn’t one herself) and defeating them.

Now for the friendship:

- Griffin was transferred into the twins’ room after it turned out Faragonda was a fairy. So it was kind of a last minute arrangement and nobody was happy about it. Least of all Griffin and Edi and Zara.

- The three didn’t like each other at first. The twins were hellbent on giving her grief about being a fairy but she quickly managed to “convince” them not to do it. Magic was involved. It wasn’t pretty. They learned not to mess with her though. Still, that only made the relationship between them even more strained. Not to mention that Griffin couldn’t stand the arguments between Zara and Edi and would soon get involved into the mess herself.

- Sharing a dorm room wasn’t easy for the three of them since they practically had no space to move around. Between Griffin’s plants, Zara’s potions and Ediltrude’s clothes the room was packed. Quite a few incidents with Zara’s potions occurred because of the limited space. Not to mention that the tensions always raised through the roof in the matter of seconds thanks to the stuffy atmosphere.

- To add to that, Ediltrude had had the brilliant idea to sneak two of her snakes into the room. Even Zara didn’t know about that so she was quite scandalized when Griffin found the snakes in her bed. Ediltrude begged them both to keep her secret. Zara agreed easier than Griffin who finally gave in on condition that Ediltrude failed that upcoming test they had. It was more of a test of its own, though, since she wanted to see just how much the snakes meant to her. She didn’t let her fail in the end. That was when Ediltrude realized that the two of them may have more in common than originally thought, acting tough but that was actually only a veneer that hid a sensitive soul underneath.

- Zara found out how caring a person Griffin actually was when she blew up one of her plants with a potion gone wrong but instead of getting angry with her, Griffin made her some tea to help her sleep and concentrate to avoid more of those accidents. At first Zara thought she was trying to poison her but when she saw the results, she was grateful to Griffin. That was the first time in years that she actually managed to sleep like a normal person.

- The three soon figured out how well they work as a team and then it was over for all of those other witches. Of course, there was still the problem with the space they were facing but things ran much smoother when they weren’t at each other’s throats all the time. Their energy went into making life miserable for everyone else. And they were too good at it. From hating each other they went to being inseparable.

- So when Ediltrude’s snakes were finally discovered during senior year, Griffin and Zara stood up for her. Which earned them suspension for a month as well. That month was well utilized, though, in wreaking havoc all around their home planets with their friendship going as strong as ever.

- In fact, they only fell out of touch when Griffin joined Valtor and the Ancestral Witches.

That’s all I got for you today! Now I want to make an aesthetic about the three of them! Damn, and I have a lot of other stuff to work on. I’m going out of my mind here with everything I want to get done!

[kainfamilyfortune]

Silas - Journal Entry #35-37

Fading.

35.

The snowfall here in Rustberg has been no less than awe inspiring, pure and beautiful. I am happy that ‘bone-chilling’ doesn’t apply to me anymore on these crisp winter mornings. I take walks in this far away village that I never would had visited unless it weren’t for these dire circumstances that lay before me. Conspiring? How could they think that? We simply aimed to educated and let others of my kind know that there was far more than servitude towards war. That there is a living breathing world out here - that with enough time and patience that a small group of us could be accepted for who we were versus whom we served. Not having to be exiled or shunned into the abyss. Or... so we thought. I think of what I could had changed, if I had not been deployed to Pandaria prior to meetings with the Alliance. It seems like a lifetime ago that Parqual wrote to us the great news... that we were finally making a stance. Progress. I shuddered, looking above to the snow drifting out from the tree line with my essence seeming to follow.

In the last few days I was told of a delay, as Cere kept me informed on Kyvalta’s condition, the crew member who injured himself - I continuously offered my services, but it was quickly shot down. She seemed wary, as if she were hiding something, but I could not judge what I could not see. It could be that she was in distress over her friend. Only time would tell. I would walk the nature trail in the mornings to wait out each passing day, making my way to and from the Heart of the Raven Inn, and spending the afternoons writing by the fire, taking in conversations with staff and patrons alike. The pace here was slow, which was a welcome feeling to all that has transpired over the last few months.

Night would eventually find everyone, as I lay awake in the comfort of the simple suite I had been staying in - my mind drifting towards the light. I am growing more powerful, this much I cannot deny. The dust fragments out from me. I can feel it’s ebb and flow as I attempt to control my form. The burning pain in my soul resists the action but I push my mind past it. I can do this. I can. It feels like solar flares erupting from a star - chaos and then I see it. I see the point, no a thread. I reach to grasp it but it is just slightly out of reach, as the pain ensues, I feel shadow whispering to let go, but I cannot. I must keep going. In an instant that I extend my arm forward and grab the thread in a sudden motion, order is restored. I see light surrounding me in ever tangling web, locked in time and space, and I felt no pain for the first time since I was raised.

The shimmering expanse of my form surrounded me. I could be anything or anyone. I had control for the first time. I could feel every particle, see it and move it. Shape it. It was like painting my body into something new. I had ascended... But it was short lived, as the pain struck me down. Bone dust scattered on the bed that I meditated upon and I came back to reality, feeling as though I had been scorched by a million fires. I looked down at the dust that had once been a part of me. Attempting communication with it to come back to me but it was no longer glowing with the light. It had become inert and I began to panic as I came to realize that I would fade into nothing but dust.

36.

I did not delve into this new found power in the days following. Allowing myself a reprieve from future sessions. I would surely lose myself. Literally. I continued my routine - walks on the nature trail in the morning, spending time in the tavern in the afternoon, and writing until the next morning. Until I got a knock on the door one night, in which I was greeted by a somewhat disgruntled Cere. She seemed to rush as she told me to help her at the docks, as they were ready to go. At this hour though? I told her to tell the crew that they could rest for the night and we could ship off tomorrow but she insisted that there was no time. So I packed what little I brought and laid some coin for the maid on the nightstand and we headed towards the docks.

I can tell you that this was not my last night in Rustberg village. I can also tell you that what I found when we approached the dock was not something I wanted to see at all... A Troll man and Orcish woman, although she looked like a half breed, dressed in red painted iron, adorned with spikes, smiling towards me as they were about to cash in on the bounty that would set them up for all the grog in Orgimmar they could drink for the next year. Behind them, the crew I thought I trusted and I felt the jagged edge of a knife in the small of my back. Cere grasped my shoulder with her free hand and pushed me forward towards my fate.

My initial panic subsided as I put my faith in the light, breathing in slowly and my eyes flashed. My form began to glow as holy fire erupted from my palms and shot out towards my pursuers. Focusing in on the brutes, I smited them both where they stood, ducking as the Troll swung his great ax above me. I began to smell burning flesh and fire as I dodged another lethal blow from behind, Cere’s dagger missing by mere inches, I grasped my ceremonial knife and cut across her legs, immobilizing her as the remaining crew attempted to dog pile. With another flash of light, I waved my arm across the sky in a divine shield letting the crew ricochet off of it and into the crocodile infested waters. Finally it was just the Half-breed.

She stood across on the dock holding a maul in one hand and buckler shield in the other. Flames smoldering the dilapidated wood of the dock and a portion of her armor, this was in stark contrast to the snow fall and and moonlight that cascaded off the no longer still water. The crocodiles have found their next meals. She charged swinging the maul wildly, and I knew that this was it. I jumped instinctively and I found myself floating above her. Flying, angelic wings sprung from my back. I was in a slight bit a shock before the Orc screamed and I channeled my hands together into a ball of light, throwing it down to her, burning any trace of her existence. I floated down to the bleeding form of Cere, as she held loose cloth to her legs attempting to stop the bleeding. I simply looked to her and stared. Finally after a long moment in silence I asked her “Why?” Untying the ropes docking both the boat I had arrived on from Pandaria and the smaller horde vessel as I pushed both out to sea.

She winced in a sharp pain, “Because. We didn’t know you were worth that. We wanted our take. Horde or not. We take what we can get out here.” Her voice trailed, no longer seeking remorse it seemed. The fires quenched around the dock as the snow continued to fall and the village remained silent within the night. I watched her body bleed out and freeze, finally pushing it into the harbor. Something so cold that I normally would never wish upon anyone, but I was about to die. This was self-defense. I stood there until dawn, the only traces of the battle was small scorch marks upon the dock which were quickly covered in mud by workers filing in for shipments for the town.

My conscious was heavy and body was drained. I did not leave my room in the inn. The coin that I laid out on my night stand, collected some dust in the following days. I got a knock from room service every day to check to see if I was alright, in the days following and I did not dare leave. Simply replying that I did not require any services. My monotone voice lost all righteous vindication, and I felt like I needed to repent for the blood I spilled. 

37.

I finally gained the energy to continue my routine. It had been a week since I had moved, my bones groaned and popped as made my way down the stairs of the inn. Not stopping to chat with the staff. Making my way as fast as I could towards the tree line. I stared at the forest for a moment before entering feeling the wave of guilt. I spoke aloud to anyone at this point. Attempting to repent for what I had done. I prayed, clutching my cloth to offer some sort of collateral in exchange for these feelings to go away. The self hatred. The guilt. The anger. I so desperately wished for this power all my life, but I too wanted control. Pain lies in the balance.

I felt as though a presence was attempting to reach out to me but it was like the thread of light I grasped before, just in the distance. I scanned the surrounding trees, morning light filtering through the canopy as I paused hearing the crunching of snow. I could see her. A little human girl, maybe six or seven years old, peering behind the tree she was hiding from then quickly diving back behind the tree when she knew that I caught sight of her. “Hey, you. Stop.”, I called out, as she let out a soft giggle and began running down the trail. I chased after her and I could hear the echo down the trail, as I hastily tried to keep up. She led me up the hill and through a dense portion of brush, light, she was fast. I had to catch myself as she guided me up the sheer rock face. I heard the laughter so close, it was as if she were right next to me but she wasn’t there. She was in my head. In my imagination.

I scaled down the hill, back onto the path, making my way back to the inn, where I was greeted by the staff, letting the drinks carry me elsewhere, the rhythmic guitar from @perchedon taking me far away from these visions and bloodshed. I wondered if my colleague’s even knew that they were being hunted down in the same fashion that I was. I needed to expedite my travels to Eversong Forest. I needed someone to trust fully this time around.

And that’s when she found me.

OOC: Thank you again to @heartoftheravenwra for hosting Silas for three weeks, again the Monday Night Mixers are fantastic if you are looking for a lovely faction neutral hangout (Minus the violence of course)! I will continue this ASAP - currently attempting to piece together some RP opportunities for this story-line so if you wish to get involved please do not hesitate to hit me up here or send me some in-game mail, Silaskain-Wra. Open to both making alliances and hostile encounters!Thanks! =3