#since i can play a lots and i feel like i have little content left in this part :)

[haerinari]

A PARTY TO REMEMBER

pairing: vampire!heeseung x fem!reader genre: friends to lovers, smut, pwp, Decelis Academy au warnings: smut content, drinking, kissing, ass grabbing, bitting, tit sucking, nipple play, dirty talking, oral (f.reciving), pussy slapping, fingering, big dick hee, blood, vampire stuff, unprotected sex (don’t do this guys), a bit of chocking, cum eating. want to keep reading? click here ⬇️

YOU’RE INVITED TO OUT BLOODY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

“Y/N, wait a second!” a voice exclaimed behind you, you turned around, seeing the familiar face of the boy who you were very used to see every day at the Academy.

“Heeseung, hi. Is everything okay?” you asked with a small smile on your face, your heart staring to pump faster as the boy came closer to you.

Heeseung was a very handsome and popular boy at your Academy. He and his group of friends Jake, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Ni-ki were known for their mysterious appearance and charming personality.

“Yeah, yeah.” he said. “I just wanted to give you this…”

Heeseung took a out of his backpack a piece of paper that seemed like a card, he gave it to you, a dark blue piece of paper that had written on the front “An Invitation To Our Bloody Birthday Party, To: Y/N.”

“Oh, thanks, Hee. I knew your birthday was coming up but I didn’t knew you were throwing a party.” he chuckled.

“Yeah, we decided that we wanted a big birthday this year.”

“We?” you repeated, a confused look in your face.

“Mhm.” he nodded. “Y’know, me and my friends. We all have the same birthday.”

“That’s—that’s an interesting thing to know…” you thought for a moment. “But anyway, thanks for the invitation, Hee.”

“No problem! Friday night, okay? 9pm, try not to be late. The dress code is our uniform… and Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Please come, i’m excited to have you there.”

“I’m surely going to be there, don’t worry.” you giggled. “And again, thanks for the invitation.”

“See you Friday night then.” Heeseung waved you goodbye with a smile on his face and continued walking.

You looked down and the invitation on your hands, taking out the white piece of paper that was inside the blue one.

You’re invited to our bloody birthday party.

Sometimes, walking down the deadly path

Without fleeing from death itself

Can give rise to the most wondrous creation

We hope you will be able to come.

Huh, this was a very—very interesting birthday invitation. Bloody Birthday Party? What does that even mean? And the fact that they all have the same birthday, makes the situation even stranger.

Students talked a lot about Heeseung and his friends. Most of the time were good things —most of the time— but the rumor about them going to the forest at night to kill animals and drink their blood, never left the Academy. People made theories about it, maybe they were sick of their mind, maybe they were crazy—even murders. But the craziest of them was the one that said they were all vampires.

Of course you liked Heeseung—and not just in the friendly way. His handsome face and polite manners caught your attention since the first day you met him at the Decelis Academy. He was always kind and friendly to you, who could possibly not fall for him? You also had a good relationship with his friends, Jake and Jay were your chemistry partners at class, Sunghoon was your very first friend at the Academy, you tutored Sunoo and Jungwon a few times for math class, and Ni-ki—well, he hit you on the face with a ball by accident.

ding dong!

You stood in front of the party’s door, loud music pumping from the inside. It was as a dark night, the cold breeze running to your body sending a shiver down to your spine, an unpleasant and uneasy feeling invading your body.

“Y/N, you finally came!” the door opened, revealing a messy hair Heeseung on the inside. His tie was a little bit loose and he had a red cup on his hand, probably de liquor he was drinking.

“Hey.” you smiled. “Sorry for the waiting, I had some work to do…”

“Don’t worry. Come in, come in.” Heeseung stepped aside letting you in, the room was full of people dancing and drinking, there was a disco-ball illuminating with flashing lights the room and everyone seemed to have a good time.

“Follow me, let’s say hello to the other guys.”

Heeseung’s arm wrapped over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him to make sure you wouldn’t lose in the crowd. He took you to the living room, where all his friends were laughing and drinking with each other.

“Hey guys!” Heeseung spoke, gaining the attention of his friends. “Look who finally came…”

“Y/N!” Sunoo exclaimed, raising his arms in excitement.

“Happy birthday you guys!” you pull them all into a tight hug, congratulating them one by one.

“Hey, I remember you.” the youngest of them, Riki, said. “You’re the girl I hit with a ball last week.”

“Yeah…” you answered.

“Sorry about that, nice to finally meet you.” he smiled.

“There’s drinks and food at the kitchen.” Jake said and Sunghoon nodded. “Take whatever you want and have fun.” Jungwon added.

“I’ll get her a drink, see you later boys.”

Heeseung got you out of the conversation with the boys and guided you towards the kitchen. A lot of students were passed out in the couches due to the alcohol in their systems and a few of them were making out in hidden corners of the room.

There were a lot types of drinks in the counter, particularly every single one of them being color red. Maybe this was what the invitation ment with “Bloody Birthday Party.”

“You really got into the theme, huh?” you smirked, speaking as loud as possible for Heeseung to hear you. “Even the drinks look like real blood.”

“I know, right.” he chuckled. “We put a lot of effort in it.”

Heeseung handed you the drink he was making for you, the red substance looking pretty temptress in your hands.

You gave it a sip, the drink actually tasting really good, a mix of strong liquor and something that you couldn’t guess if it was strawberry or watermelon burning down your throat. It tastes good, you thought.

“I’m glad you like it.” the boy said.

“How do you even know I like it?” you spoke back.

“You thought about it.”

“I actually did.” you laughed. “How did you know? It’s actually really, really good.”

“Just a little guess… C’mon, I want to show you something.”

Heeseung took your hand and dragged you through the crowd once again. God, he has been so touchy with you since you came in here. It’s not like you had something planned for tonight to get with Heeseung—it was his birthday party after all—but deep down in your mind you wished for him to make a move.

You started to hear the music and people talking less and less every minute. Heeseung’s hand was still dragging you up the stairs to what seemed the second floor of the house.

“Heeseung, where are we going?” you asked in confusion. why was he keeping you afar from the party?

“To my room.” he simply answered.

“Your—your room?” you stuttered. “But what about the party? You’re the birthday boy, you can’t just leave!”

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I just want to show you something. Besides, the other boys are down there.”

“Okay…”

Heeseung opened the door of what appeared to be his room, you entered the unknown space and then he came after you. The bedroom had actually a lot of space, a big bed with a desk on the side, a tv—but what actually caught your attention was the balcony that was illuminated by the moonlight.

“Oh, wow.” you murmured.

You stepped into the balcony, allowing the cold breeze to run through your hair. The view was amazing, the moon and stars were shining bright and you could almost see the entire Academy from here.

“Beautiful view isn’t it?” Heeseung said, standing beside you while admiring the big bright moon.

“Absolutely yes, you’re lucky to have this view every day.”

“Right? I know…”

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice that Heeseung wasn’t looking at the sky anymore, he was actually looking at you.

“What are you looking at?” you chuckled nervously, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.

“Hmm, just the view.” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up.” you pushed his arm softly. “What is that even supposed to mean?”

“It means I like you.”

Wait—what? Oh god, Heeseung, your crush for the last few months was actually confessing that he liked you.

“I know you like me too.” he smiled.

“Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure about that, huh?”

“Because you…” he paused for a second, getting so close to you in a way that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. “…just thought about how i’ve been your crush for the past months.”

How could he possibly know what you were thinking? First it happened with the drink, now with this—

“How are you reading my mind?” you whispered, your lips so close to his that they were almost touching.

“I know a lot of things, baby.” Heeseung whispered back.

He got even closer to you, almost closing the small amount of distance that was left. His lips brushed against your cheek, sending a jolt of electricity through your body and shivers down your spine. His hands were on your hips, the tension between you two growing stronger second by second.

Heeseung’s lips finally met yours, kissing you in a slowly sensual way as if he was trying to take his time with you. The kiss eventually heated up pretty quickly, the wet smacking sounds and labored breathing was the only thing that could be heard. His tongue entered your mouth, dancing with your own wet muscle who was trying to gain control, of course you failed. Heeseung’s hands went from your hips to your ass, squeezing harshly and provoking a moan from your mouth.

“You’ll let me have you, right?”

He didn’t even need to hear an answer, the way your body was reacting to his touch was as enough green light for him to continue.

Heeseung guided you carefully to the soft mattress of his bed, his lips never leaving yours. His hands started to touch your body, taking off your tie and untying the white Academy Uniform you were wearing. One of his hands cupped your breast, pulling your lacy white bra to the side so he could feel how hard your nipples were starting to get.

“Fuck…” you moaned. Heeseung’s lips went from kissing your lips, to your jaw, to finally meet the soft skin of your neck. He started to suck there, discovering that every inch of your neck was one of your sweet spots.

His lips nipped all over your skin, biting and sucking it in a way that was making you see stars. He bit a particular place that got your eyes rolling at the back of your head, the burning pain of his teeth sinking down your skin adding more pleasure than you were feeling before.

“Auch!” you hissed.

“You like that? You like that baby? Yeah, me too.” he whispered before biting the same spot again.

His hot mouth went down to kiss your collarbone while one of his hands was busy unclasping your bra. He took it completely off, throwing it at one side of the bed, your soft breasts and erect nipples coming out freely.

His hands reached out and started to squeeze your tits, his fingers pinching your nipples as a moan scapes your lips. Heeseung’s swollen lips came to suck on of your nipples, his mouth pulling the flesh as hard as he could. Your back arched, trying to press your chest as close as you could to his mouth. The hot muscle came to your other tit, his tongue flicking your erect nipple while his hand was caressing your other breast.

He traveled a path of kisses from your tits to where you uniform skirt started, you took it off in a quick motion, trying to get some friction in where you need it the most.

“So desperate, huh…” he kissed you inner tights. “Want me to suck your pussy, baby? Want me to make you feel good?”

“Just—stop with the teasing, please.” you begged, your hips bucking up trying to find some sort of relief.

“You really need me, don’t you?” he giggled.

“Heeseung, please.” you groaned in frustration. “Please…”

“Just because you asked it so nicely.”

He took your panties off, his head between your tights as he spread your pussy lips apart. Heeseung finally leaned in, his tongue poking out to lick your clit.

“Fuck!” you gasped.

He began to lick and suck at your clit, his movements becoming stronger as he tried his best to please you. He groaned, the vibrations going directly to your throbbing cunt, his tongue moving roughly against your sensitive flesh. You moaned in pleasure, your hand coming down to his hair trying to push him even closer to you. He sucked and slurped loudly as he devoured your pussy, just like a starved man. One of his fingers came into your hole, stretching you to prepare you for what would be coming in a few minutes. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to climax, your body trembling with anticipation.

“I’m gonna—shit— i think I’m cumming.” your hands grabbed the sheets behind you, searching for some kind of support.

“Taste so fucking good, baby… Just want you to cum in my face.”

His lips went back to your glistening pussy, he buried his face between your legs, his tongue delving deep into your cunt. You allow yourself to let out a load moan, no one would hear you do to the music, anyways. Heeseung’s tongue was swirling around your bundle of nerves and fucking your pussy.

“Cumming.” you nearly managed to say, biting your lip so hard to muffle your moans you could start taste your own blood.

A slap hit your pussy, the mixture of pain and pleasure making the knot in your stomach instantly snap. He continued to suck your pussy through your orgasm, your juices gushing out as he eats you even harder now. The wetness dripping down his chin as you cum all over his face.

“Shit…” Heeseung panted, his head coming up from between your legs. “That was so fucking hot.”

He crawled up until his lips were on top of yours once again, the mix of your lip blood and your own arousal in Heeseung’s mouth making the kiss intoxicated.

“Blood.” Heeseung said, stopping his movements and staring at your lips. You could feel his dark gaze in you, the only source of light was the moon that was illuminating his face.

“What?” you murmured, to lost in his kisses to even care about what he was saying.

“I can taste blood on your lips.” he repeated.

“I’m sorry—I think I bit my lip too hard.”

“Good.”

He captured your lips in a hungrier kiss, his hands went to unbutton his own shirt, throwing it to the side. Your hands touched his chest and his abs, trying to memorize every single inch of his perfect body. You went down, your fingers untangling his belt, both of his arms on the sides of your head.

Heeseung tossed your hands aside, taking down his own pants and boxers, revealing his hard throbbing length. He stroked himself a little, precum dripping down his red tip. He aligned himself to your entrance, pressing his hard cock against your soaking wet pussy. He slowly started thrusting into you, his thick length stretching you so delicious yet so painfully. He could feel your tight cunt stretching around his girth, a groan coming out from his lips.

His dick was sliding deep into your pussy, his movements hard and fast. You moaned, the feeling of his dick deep into you too good to be true. Your tits moving rhythmically with his trusts, bouncing up and down just right into Heeseung’s face. He kissed both of them, biting and sucking into the soft flesh. Tears were starting to come down from your face, your orgasm approaching faster than you expected.

“You can take it, baby. Take my cock, so fucking good, so fucking tight.” he groaned, his thumb cleaning the tears from your cheeks. “You want to cum, huh?”

The only sound coming from your mouth were incoherent mumbles, you were so cock drunk you couldn’t even speak properly.

“Use your words when I speak to you, Y/N.” a particular hard thrust hit your pussy, making you moan like crazy. Heeseung’s hand went to your throat, adding the perfect amount of pressure for you to feel like in cloud nine.

“Fuck— yes! Please, Hee. Please…” you gasped, the lack of oxygen and the tears in your eyes blurring your sight.

“It’s okay, baby. Let it go, okay? Just be a good girl and cum for me.”

His fingers reached around to rub your clit, making you moan even louder as he fucked you senseless.

Your orgasm hit you like a truck, you pussy clenching hard around his dick. Heeseung was still trying to chase his own orgasm, the overstimulation being too much to your poor sensitive body.

“Shit—now i’m gonna cum.” he panted, his thrust becoming sloppier. “Where do you want it?”

“Tits.” you replied.

He pulled out of you, now kneeling at one side of your body right next to your chest. He began to pump himself faster, moans escaping from his pretty lips.

The next thing you could feel was his hot cum ropes touching your chest, you sticked your tongue out, some of the salty fluid getting into your mouth.

Heeseung landed next to you, his arm around your waist and his face in the crook of your neck, both of you still trying to catch your breaths. He left kisses on your shoulder, making you feel save and loved at the same time.

The cute, soft moment didn’t last long, tho. You hissed, shifting a little uncomfortable as you felt Heeseung’s teeth on your neck again.

“Hey, you like biting, don’t you?” you giggled, hands coming to stroke his hair softly.

“It’s a mark.” he spoke. “Now you’re mine.”

“Yours, huh?” you smiled.

“Mhm, yes.”

The coldness of the night hit you in contrast of the hot atmosphere of Heeseung’s room.

It was around 3am on the morning and everyone already left the party. Of course you didn’t want to leave Heeseung’s side, but you had to get back to your dorm before the classes began.

The scenario of Heeseung and you was repeating in your mind like a movie, you smiled to yourself, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“Oh, shit.” you said, stopping abruptly your path and remembering that your tie was still missing. I must left it in Heeseung’s room, you thought.

You went back to the house, opening the door and seeing all the mess that was left behind. Surely all the boys were either too drunk or too lazy to clean the place.

You walked to Heeseung’s room, your hand almost touching the door knob when you heard a strange sound come from another door. You froze, maybe one of the boys was still up. What if someone saw you trying to get into Heeseung’s room?

You heard the strange noise again, deciding to leave Heeseung’s room and walk to the other door. You pressed your ear into it, trying to decipher what was causing the sounds you were hearing.

Taking a deep breath you decided to open the door, and you did not expect to see what was happening.

“What the…”

Your eyes widen in surprise. The room was cover in blood, mostly snakes and other type of animals laying dead or in pieces all across the room.

The seven boys looked at you, too perplexed to continue their actions. All of them were also covered in blood. Sunoo, Sunghoon and Heeseung holding a small snake in his hands.

“Y/N.” Heeseung spoke, panic in his voice trying to find an excuse to save himself and the others. “I swear I can explain…”

[gyaruhana]

Omg can we get some more player 120 (Cho Hyun-ju) sfw n nsfw headcanons where shes protective n dominant? Pls n thank uu I loved ur last work w her🩷

Cho Hyun-ju/Player 120 - Headcannons (sfw + nsfw)

Synopsis: more Hyun-ju headcannons !

A/N: ask and i shall serve !!

Warnings: smut content

SFW:

➠ i'm immediately jumping into the scene in the last episode where she was locked in bc holy moly she was so hot.. ➠ wouldn't let you go with her unless you were well-trained with a gun and able to handle it ➠ even then she's always keeping you close behind her ➠ When she's not shooting at the guards, she's looking at you to make sure you're doing okay ➠ if you run out of ammo, she doesn't hesitate to give you one of her magazines ➠ If you end up panicking she's immediately there to distract you from the gunshots and reassuring you that everything is fine and you'll both be okay ➠ and you both will be because she refuses to die or to let you die ➠ not when you both had already made plans for Thailand after you get out of here ➠ On a lighter note !! ➠ most doting girl ever ➠ does give you some of her food sometimes if you're feeling hungry ➠ If someone insults you, she's instantly at your side to defend you ➠ she HATES people thinking they can treat you badly ➠ do play with her hair she loves it sm ➠ expect her to hold your hand a lot because she's not afraid of PDA ➠ late night talks after lights out which sometimes just turns into staring into each others eyes ➠ so many quiet "I love you"'s whispered during those talks too ➠ likes when you cup her face in your hands honestly ➠ you guys are always talking about WHEN you make it out of this place and never if ➠ so so many plans for Thailand ➠ After the death of Young-mi, she definitely needed your comfort and got so much more protective of you ➠ if you go to the bathrooms, she's right there behind you ➠ you're basically never alone during the games ➠ Absolutely fights for you ➠ Overall, so protective of you and not afraid to put someone in their place if they disrespect you

"I have a few nice places to live in Thailand saved on my phone. I can show you them when we get out," you speak from your bed as you turn to face her. She smiles slightly at your words and nods her head. You both had been planning for Thailand since forever and now the dream seemed so much closer with the money you could take home. Even if some people died, neither of you would be next. Not as long as you were there to protect each other and survive this hellish place together. "I'd like that,"

NSFW:

➠ Again, she's gentle. ➠ not a big fan of having public sex so she often takes you to the bathroom with her if you guys are in the mood ➠ most skillfull pussy eater icl ➠ she knows exactly how to make you feel good ➠ gentle and meaningful kisses that convey so much love ➠ she's just a gentle cutie ➠ always whispering praises to you ➠ baby, my girl, sweetheart - literally every sweet pet name in the book ➠ refuses to be rough with you because she wants to help you relax and be calm from the stress of the games and the death ➠ always kisses you after making you cum on her fingers ➠ which happens quite quickly honestly.. ➠ she's just a little too good at fingering you.. ➠ she's practically memorized every part of you though that's why ➠ encourages volume and expressing how you feel ➠ she bases her pace on your facial expressions because she's ridiculously observant ➠ Overall, gentle girlfriend who knows how to please you<3

"You're close, yeah?" She says quietly as she looks up at you, her fingers continuing to thrust in and out of you quickly. The two of you didn't have a lot of time as the guard waiting just outside the bathroom likely wouldn't let you stay for long. That's why she was so quick with her fingers. The last thing she'd want is for you to be left without a release. "Go ahead. Cum on my fingers, my love,"

[mollywog]

🦮 Sinister Innocence

I loved your summary for this fake fic and I'd love to read a snippet if you're inspired!

So glad you asked @thesunpersists!!

Summary: When an ill-fated camping trip results in the death of Sylvia Fox, Attorney Katniss Everdeen must prove that Sylvia’s death was a result of a series of unfortunate events and not the calculated planning of her boyfriend, Peeta Mellark. But as court case heats up, so does the tension between attorney and client. Can Katniss prove to the court (and herself) that Peeta’s an innocent man or will she be his next victim?

~~~ Snippet 1 ~~~

“Fucking idiots,” she mumbles into her bite of English muffin as she watches the news where the anchor reports about a pair of campers missing in the Appalachian mountains. They must have gone off the beaten path to get the ‘real experience’ and gotten lost. Happened all the time… but usually not to the granddaughter of a old railroad tycoon so this was getting attention.

She half listens as the reporter ambles on: They’d left on a Saturday and when they hadn’t returned for work on Monday an all out manhunt had begun. Searches had been hindered by the relentless spring rain.

Katniss had little hope for the pair, and quiet honestly little sympathy: Some people just weren’t meant for the wilderness.

But then a picture of the pair flashes on the screen. She fumbles for the remote, pausing the program before the image disappears. The man’s face fills her screen.

Oh no. Not him.

~~~ Snippet 2 ~~~

“Peeta, you’re going to have to work with us here,” Haymitch says. “You discover your girlfriend is cheating on you and your answer is to propose?”

“You don’t understand what it was like with her — with us,” Peeta pleads.

“Please explain then, because I doubt a jury of your peers will understand either.”

He huffs, “Sylvia wanted an engagement, had given me an ultimatum and deadline. The thing with Crane was just to show me she was serious this time— that she already had a backup plan for if I didn’t come through. She always played these games. I mean we all know her grandfather.”

“And you were volunteering for that till death do you part?” Haymitch mocks.

Katniss watches as Peeta’s eyes flash and nostrils flare. He drops his gaze down to the coffee cup he’s gripping dangerously tight.

She knows Haymitch has clocked it as well; it’s part of his process. He’s usually so easy going and mild despite the circumstances and Katniss wonders if there’s enough of that anger under the facade to have really killed Sylvia. Haymitch says it doesn’t matter, except in that they’ll need to work on it If Peeta wants to testify in his own defense. But Katniss wants to— no, needs know for certain.

Peeta takes a few breaths before continuing, “I know how stupid this all looks— how stupid I look. I’ve had to a lot of therapy since then and can see how wrong it all was, but at the time I just thought: When you love someone you take the good with the bad.

“I thought if we got away; from Crane and her grandfather’s influence and if I did what she wanted, we could reset.”

~~~ Snippet 3 ~~~

She heads towards the conference room. The past few days of prep had gone well. She and Haymitch had been grilling him in preparation for the cross examination and were in a groove.

But Haymitch is waiting outside the door. “Hold up sweetheart,” he says blocking her entrance. “Kid’s asked to prep with me alone.”

~~~ Snippet 4 ~~~

She’s feeling good about the case… hopeful even. Like they may be able to win and that maybe, just maybe there might be a future afterwards.

She’s lost her place in her brief, daydreaming when her ringing phone jolts her back to the present.

It’s Beetee from the lab and when she answers he begins without preamble, “Analysis of Miss. Fox’s stomach contents are in: Dried meat and fruit, nuts.”

Perfect - Everything checks with Peeta’s account. All good news.

“but there was one interesting thing. We also found: [latin plant name].”

Katniss’s stomach drops, her mouth goes dry. “Nightlock,” she whispers.

“That’s right; So you’re familiar? Highly toxic. Victim was likely dead within moments of swallowing.”

“But her toxicology came back normal?” She reasons.

“Toxicology only covers the usual things unless otherwise ordered. I’ll put in a request now to confirm.”

“Put a rush on it and call as soon as you know.”

Katniss slumps in her chair. So Sylvia was dead before she’d ever left the cliff ledge.

[kimmkitsuragi]

alright this game is literally insane it feels like never ending content to me rn

[lovegalor333]

can you do a short little smut when paige is overstimulating the reader??? i would love that and also i love your writings

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

i can do it better

summary: paige finds your vibrator and asks you to show her how you use it

content warnings: nsfw smut overstimulation sex toy fingering munch p squirting

“Care to explain this?” You hear your girlfriends voice call out to you from your bedroom. You’re in the bathroom getting ready for bed, you were exhausted after a long day of classes and wanted nothing more than to close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep. “Explain what, baby?” You call back with a roll of your eyes, Paige couldn’t see you thankfully, you’re sure she’d have a few choice words for your brattiness but you were tired and didn’t want the hassle of whatever Paige was talking about.

“This.” Paiges voice is closer now and you flick your eyes up to the mirror in front of you, to see your girlfriend leaning against the bathroom door frame, a cheeky smirk on her face and to your dismay the small purple, bullet shaped vibrator that lived in your nightstand, in her hand.

Your cheeks flushed a deep claret as you spun around, reaching out the snatch the toy off Paige but she has great reflexes and she’s a lot taller than you, “Uh uh.” She shakes her head, holding the vibrator up and and out of your reach. “Were you snooping in my drawers?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. “No, I was looking for melatonin. Now tell me why you have this? This can’t do what I do.” Paige says and she presses the small button and the bullet begins to vibrate in her hand and you feel your temperature begin to rise.

Sex wasn’t a taboo subject for you and Paige but you’d never spoke about masturbation and the fact she had your toy in her hand made you feel slightly dizzy. Truth be told, since you’ve been together you’ve hardly used that thing but sometimes Paige plays away and this summer she was hardly in Connecticut and a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

“Can you turn that off?” You ask seriously, now frowning at Paige, embarrassment more than anything creeping in. “Tell me why and how you use it?”

“Paige-”

“Just tell me.” And she places the vibrating toy against your left nipple, the thin material of her t-shirt you wear to sleep not doing much to buffer the sensation. “When you’re away…and I…” You struggle to speak between Paiges intense eye contact, your nipple being attacked and the awkwardness of the subject you don’t know what to say. “Don’t be embarrassed baby.” Paiges voice is soft and sensitive, a stark contrast to the look on her face. “When you’re away and I’m horny, I use it sometimes.” “How do you use it?” “For Gods sake Paige, how do you think?” You’re losing patience now and suddenly you’re no longer tired. Paige is being a tease and it’s pissing you off.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’d like to show me.” Paige taunts with a raise of her brows and before you can detest, you’re over her shoulder, hand on your ass.

Paige throws you down onto your bed and hands you the vibrator, “Show me how you make yourself cum.” The husk of her voice and the stance she was in, looking down at you on your back made you ache.

You pressed the vibrator to your clit, over your lace thong, the initial sensation making your thighs shudder. Paiges gaze doesn’t falter for a second, you can practically feel her eyes burning into you, “What do you think about when you’re doing this?”

“You. Your fingers- shit- how they feel inside me.” The wet patch inbetween your legs is growing with each buzz of the toy and you need more. You pull the lace material to the side but before you can reposition the bullet, Paige is on the bed, her hand on top of yours, stopping you from pleasuring yourself. “I thought you wanted me to show you.”

“I did but it’s pissing me off. I’m gonna show you just why you don’t need this thing.” She rasps, taking the vibrator from your hand but she doesn’t turn it off. Instead she uses one hand to hold your panties to the side before dragging the toy through your damp folds. You buck your hips up, desperate for more. More of Paige. Fuck the vibrator.

Paige continues to tease and taunt your dripping cunt, pressing the vibrator to your clit before dragging it down to your hole, “Paige, please. Stop teasing.” You groan but with the way she’s looking at you, eyes hooded and determined, you know for a fact she’s not going to listen to a word you say.

“Just be a good girl for me, yeah?”

You whimper as Paige turns up the intensity and you jolt in shock, “You can be a good girl, right?” Paige asks as she circles your clit causing arousal to drip out of you. “Y-yes.” You choke out and Paige spreads your legs, a knee on each of your thighs, holding them in place.

“Fuck, you look so good spread out for me like this baby.” Paige grunts and she lets a blob of spit out of mouth and it lands on your cunt, you whine at the feeling. “Ne-need more, P.”

Paige misinterprets your pleads for her…or chooses to ignore then and further increases the intensity of the vibrator, pressing it hard and firm on your swollen clit. The band in your stomach tightens and your legs begin to shake beneath your girlfriends knees, “Fuck Paige, I’m about to- ugh shit- I’m about to cum.” You moan, eyes rolling back in your head as the band threatens to snap but the soft buzzing and intense vibrations come to a halt, “I’m not watching you cum with something that isn’t me.” Paige says matter of factly and your words are lodged in your throat as she pushes two fingers inside of you with ease, “Oh fuck!” You gasp as she hammers in and out of you, her long fingers knocking into the gummy spot with each inward movement.

Without warning, Paige adds another finger into the mix and you bite down on your lip as she stretches you out, “Shit Paige, don’t stop.” You beg, reaching down to grab onto her wrist to ensure she doesn’t rob you of another orgasm. But Paige simply bats your hand away, linking it with her free one.

You feel yourself contracting around Paiges fingers and know you’re close so you move your hips in circular motions, guiding her hand to hit all your favourite places. Paige brings her thumb to your clit, starting off in gentle swipes before she’s full on pressing and pinching your sensitive spot.

“Shit Paige, right there!” You cry out as the feeling overwhelms you and your body writhes and jerks beneath her and you come undone all over her fingers. Your heart rate is rapid as Paige pulls her fingers out of you and you whimper as she slides them across your folds and over your clit, spreading your slick as she goes, “I love how messy you are.” She purrs, taking her fingers into her mouth and sucking on them, moaning at the taste of you on her tongue.

You watch in awe as her tongue flicks and swirls around her sticky fingers, “You’re so hot.” You breathe out and Paige just smirks before she leans down, mouth inches away from your soaked cunt and she blows out two sharp breaths making you shiver.

Still sensitive from your orgasm, your moan is throaty and rough as Paige buries her face into your cunt. She’s devouring you like a woman starved and you’re her favourite meal. With every flick of her tongue, your back arches of the bed, just pushing her face further into you. Her nose nudges your clit as she slips her tongue inside, “Fuck Paige! Pleasepleaseplease!” You babble, not sure what your begging for, your head spins at every sensation and when her teeth graze your clit and fingers slip back inside, you damn near lose it.

Her movements are insatiable and unrelenting and you squeeze her hand in yours as it all begins to feel too much. “I- I can’t Paige.” You choke out as tears begin to fill in your water line. “You can.” She mumbles against you and the vibrations from her voice sent jolts of ecstasy through your body.

This feeling was different from any you’ve felt before, Paiges fingers driving into you at a pace so fast, all you could hear was the sordid sounds of your wetness. Her tongue and lips working overtime as they sucked and swirled at your clit. The ache between your legs was crushing and your head tipped back, jaw going slack as a sudden surge soared through you, from your core to your feet, toes curling and you felt an unfamiliar gush as everything went black.

Just as quick as your eyes closed, they opened again and Paige was pressing kisses to your inner thigh. She looked up at you, chin dripping and realisation hits you, “Did I squirt?” You ask, voice hoarse and breathless. “Damn right ma. This girl loves me.” She smirks sending a light smack to your pussy and your legs clamp shut, “That’s enough. You just destroyed her.” You chuckle and Paige leans over you, pressing her lips to yours and you get a taste of yourself. “That was so fucking sexy.” She whispers into your ear before trailing wet kiss down your neck.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

a/n: yall!! i know the request said ‘short little smut’ but i got carried away 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 this was rushed and barely edited and im writing this with a glass of wine so apologies in advance for any mistakes, i know i could have done better 💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 anyway! love yall, send gays vibes to me tonight, im on a mission x

tag list: @paigeluvvr

[charliemwrites]

Part 4

Mister(s) Steal Your Girl is, somehow, now the official title. Congratulations you little shits (affectionate).

Content: Toxic Behavior, Brief Weight Shaming, Hurt/Comfort

You didn’t expect to see Johnny much after that one night - or possibly ever again. Kyle introduced you two, it was a lot of fun, but you figure that’ll be the end of it. Like introducing a new man to your girlfriends (not that you can really introduce Kyle to yours) you passed the vibe check and now Kyle will keep you and Johnny separate.

That’s how it’s been with Brandon’s friends. (Granted, you don’t really care for Brandon’s friends. And you figure it’s mutual based on the “uptight” comments they pretended to think you couldn’t hear.)

You’re starting to realize that Kyle is always going to subvert your expectations.

Johnny becomes a fixture - a welcome one. While you and Kyle still have your date nights and privacy, Johnny joins you two at least once a week for movies, drinks, dinner, or just silly adventures out and about.

You’re surprised that you don’t mind. Johnny is fantastic company, always respectful, funny, and friendly. Whenever the two of you are left alone, there’s no dead air. In fact, sometimes you could almost swear there’s electricity. Which is… well. It makes it hard to look him in the eye sometimes - and looking at Kyle even harder.

Guilt nips at your stomach until one of them distracts you with another story you’re 70% sure they shouldn’t tell you.

You and Johnny play a game with pub napkins, doodling something on one folded half, then passing it over for the other to scribble on the second half. The trick is not cheating and seeing the first half, then unfolding it to a complete (and usually silly) picture. Gaz always gets to name whatever monstrosity has been created.

You get a month of that good company. Then Kyle sighs at his phone one night.

“Shipping out again,” he explains when you glance at him.

“Will you be gone long?” you ask, shifting.

His brow furrows. “Not sure. They can’t tell us much over the phone.”

You hum in understanding. Still new to this whole military thing, the redacted danger of it all, but you think you’re getting the hang of it. At least, Kyle never seems annoyed when he can’t answer you, only apologetic.

“Is it gonna be the whole team?” you ask.

“Nah, just me and the cap.” He rubs his palm along your calf, a gesture that you suspect is self-soothing rather than for your benefit. “Probably not too dangerous, then.”

You make a noise of protest, nudging at his thigh with your foot. “Bad luck!”

“Sorry, sorry!” he chuckles, tapping his knuckles on the wooden end table. “You’re right.”

You crawl from your side of the couch to his, nuzzling up under his arm. He trails kisses along the side of your face as you snuggle in.

“I’ll miss you,” you mumble into his neck. Still a little embarrassed to be so needy, but you want him to feel appreciated.

“I’ll miss you too, chickadee. I’ll call if I can, yeah?”

You hum in agreement, squeezing an arm around his middle.

“While I’m gone, if you need anything - even some company - you ought to call Soap,” he adds.

The idea is tempting but… “I don’t want to bother him.”

“I promise you won’t,” he laughs. You don’t know what’s so funny, but hearing his voice rumble in his chest like this is always a treat.

“Maybe,” you allow.

“We’ll take it.” Before you can ask what that means, he loops an arm around your waist and scoops you into his lap. “Now then, about my send off.”

Your giggle turns into a moan as his mouth slants over yours.

Kyle’s only been gone three days. You’ve occupied yourself with cleaning up the flat you share with Brandon. Dust has been collecting since you’ve been out and about so much - and god knows Brandon hardly does more than load the dishwasher. Besides, a good bit of spring cleaning is a pleasant enough distraction, humming as you toss out old things to make more room for the new stuff you’ve been collecting.

“Good to see you getting back to normal,” Brandon says cheerfully. You glance up from the laundry you’re folding. He continues, “I was worried with how behind you got on things, but I knew you just needed some time. I told you this would be better for us both.”

You try not to let that sting. Even if things are better now, and continuing to get better, you can’t forget the pain that lingers from the beginning.

“Tell you what,” he adds, hands in his pockets. “When you finish cleaning up, I’ll take you out to the pub, yeah? Put on something pretty.”

You perk up, pleasantly surprised, though hesitant.

“We could leave earlier if you helped,” you point out, hoping for more than just dinner. “Maybe we could walk in the park or something before eating.”

He gives you a weak smile. One you recognize more than his real one by now. It’s almost apologetic, but not quite.

“I would but I’m bloody exhausted from this week, ya know? Big projects coming up at work.”

Your smile freezes. “And some late nights, I’m sure,” you try to joke.

He doesn’t laugh like you expect, but gives you an odd look. “Why would you say something like that?”

Baffled, you shrug. He shakes his head.

“I’m going to take a nap, come wake me up when you’re ready to go.”

You manage to finish the majority of your to-do list by 5. Shower, get dressed, do your hair and makeup with Brandon snoring in the background until 6. By then, he still hasn’t woken up from his nap, so you perch on the edge of the bed and gently nudge at him until he stirs.

“I’m ready to go, babe,” you murmur.

He scrunches up his face - you spare an affectionate thought for how cute it is. You’ve always found it cute.

“Five more minutes,” he grumbles.

You laugh a little. “It’s getting late, we should probably head out.”

He groans. “Five. Minutes.”

You huff in amusement and reach for his phone to set an alarm, but pause at all the notifications from dating apps crowding his screen. There are… a lot. And as you’re looking, a new message pops up, just labeled “blonde” with a peach emoji. Gross.

You set the alarm and slip away to the living room.

It takes him another half hour to finally rouse, shuffling into the living room with a groan.

“C’mon,” he yawns. “It’s going to be bloody crowded by now.”

You follow him quietly to the car, knowing he’s not chatty when he’s just woken up. Hunger only adds to his mood; you can practically see a cloud forming over his head. By the time he pulls up to the pub, he’s downright grumpy. He grumbles about shit parking, and the milling people outside. It looks busy.

“We could go somewhere else?” you suggest.

“This is fine,” he says.

He parks a block away and starts at a swift pace. You try to hold his hand, but halfway there, he pulls away to check his phone and doesn’t take it again.

Surprisingly, it’s only a twenty minute wait for a table - but Brandon sneers something like “of course it is” under his breath. You smile apologetically at the hostess and usher him away.

He doesn’t talk during the wait, at first. Until suddenly he blurts. “We wouldn’t have to wait if you’d woken me up.”

You blink at him. “I did. You asked for five more minutes.”

“Well, why didn’t you wake me up then?”

“I set an alarm?”

You don’t know why he’s so irritated, just that he seems tired and hungry.

“You know I don’t listen to alarms,” he complains, scowling at the sidewalk.

“Okay… I’ll wake you up next time,” you offer.

“Yeah, next time.”

Thankfully, the two of you are called a little early. The pub is indeed loud and crowded, and you’re definitely overdressed. But at least you know what you want - Brandon’s taken you here a million times before.

Wisely, you wait until he’s downed the texmex rolls before trying for conversation again. He hums along as you talk about work, about the books you’ve been reading, about the new movie you saw last week. You think it’s going pretty well, catching up on each other’s lives, when he interrupts you mid-sentence.

“Where was this?”

You frown. “At the grocery store…?”

“You’re still on that? Thought we moved on from that story.”

You don’t bother finishing it, just ask him about his work. It’s like pulling teeth. A lot of “good” and “busy” and “same as usual.” By the time your entree comes, you’ve given up, not sure if you want to cry or just walk away to see if he even notices. He keeps checking his phone. Your fingers twitch to text Kyle, but you don’t want to bother him while he’s working.

The end of dinner can’t come sooner. You decline dessert when the server asks.

“Probably for the better,” Brandon tells you lowly when they’re gone to get the check. “I think you’ve put on a bit of weight. You know how you get.”

You probably have - Kyle has a sweet tooth and practically begs you to split desserts with him. Johnny’s shares his food with you now too, grinning when you express approval for whatever high-protein dish he’s picked and shoving more at you.

As for “how you get”… Brandon’s mentioned in the past when you were heavier that you get mopey, aren’t much fun to be around.

(A small part of you wonders how that would even effect him at this point. He doesn’t spend enough time around you to notice if you’re mopey. Is that why tonight has been such a disaster…?)

You just collect your purse and lead the way out of the pub. It’s a quiet walk back to the car, even though Brandon seems to be in a better mood. He’s still texting, nearly bumps into an elderly couple along the way.

Back at the apartment, he runs his hand down your side, tugs at the lace hem of your shirt.

“Careful,” you chide.

He sucks his teeth and drops his hand. “I’m just trying to be playful.”

“I know, but I like this shirt.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’ve got three just like it.”

You don’t answer, know it’ll lead to more useless bickering. Just tug the stupid thing over your head, ready to go to bed.

“Hey now, that’s more like it,” he drawls, fingertips running down your spine.

You jump, surprised, but play it off that his hands are cold. He makes some crass comment about warming them up, reaching for your breasts, and your stomach churns.

“I-I think I ate something bad,” you lie, all but sprinting for the bathroom.

You close the door behind you - but don’t lock it. Just sit on the floor, the wall cold against your back, while you try to breathe through your spinning, conflicting thoughts.

He’s finally giving you attention, affection. Why aren’t you jumping at this opportunity to spend time with him? Not long ago, you would have been weeping with joy to have an iota of your normal relationship back. Maybe you really did eat something bad.

“Hey,” Brandon calls through the door, “I’m gonna stay somewhere else tonight.”

You stare at the blank white wood, aghast. “But I’m sick.”

“It’s not like I can do much, is there? Except listen to you be sick all night,” he reasons. “And who knows. Maybe it wasn’t something you ate. Maybe it’s contagious. I don’t want to spend the weekend ill.”

Your eyes burn. He didn’t even open the door to check. “Yeah,” you agree, voice robotic, “you’re right.”

Not even five minutes later, you hear the front door close. That almost, almost does you in. You manage to keep your lackluster dinner down, but not the tears.

You let yourself be pathetic for a few minutes, crying into your arms, folded over your knees. When you finally manage to get yourself together, it’s not Brandon you ache for. It’s Kyle. It’s not possible, you know. You just don’t want to be alone even though the nausea is dissipating.

Sighing, you remove your ruined makeup and wash your face, climb into one of Kyle’s jumpers. At least it still smells like him. It’s only as you’re trying to decide on a comfort show, huddled into a ball on the couch, that you remember his advice.

It takes all of fifteen seconds of debate before you scramble for your phone.

I know it’s late, but are you free, you text Johnny.

A response comes almost immediately.

Always for you, lass. You bite your lip on a tiny smile, already feeling better. Your phone buzzes again. What’s up?

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment as you figure out what to ask - then how to ask it.

Would you want to come to mine for movies? I don’t feel good…

He answers instantly again. Ice cream not-good or Theraflu not-good?

You sniffle when you remember that being sick was a dealbreaker for your night with Brandon.

Ice cream not-good, you reply.

Say no more, hen. Be there in fifteen. Pick a good one.

You watch TikTok’s until there’s a knock at the door. Upon answering, you’re swept up in a bear hug that lifts you off your socked feet.

“Johnny!” you cry, laughing a bit in shock.

“There she is!” he crows, swinging you around. “Been missin’ my best girl!”

You tell yourself the thrill in your stomach is just from him setting you down. (It’s a harder sell when it happens again seeing his wide smile and warm blue eyes.)

“You're ridiculous,” you huff, “I’m not your best girl.”

He arches his eyebrows. “Oh, yer keepin’ track, are ye?”

“C’mon, you must have a partner or something?” you prod as you usher him inside.

“Kyle must’ve told ye, hen, it’s hard in this line of work,” he explains, shrugging. “Tried before but… usually they just end up feeling neglected, ya ken.”

You hum. That’s why Kyle said you and he would work so well with the open relationship - that you’d still have someone at home while he was out. That you wouldn’t be alone if something happened to him.

“Anyway, this is no kinda talk for a cozy night in, now is it?” Johnny says, cutting your melancholy musing short. “Come look at what I brought ya!”

You only notice then the two grocery bags in one hand. He herds you to the couch and sets them on the coffee table for you to root through.

“My favorite!” You exclaim when you extract the tub of ice cream.

The grin Johnny shoots you is proud. “Kyle said so.”

“You two,” you sigh happily.

He’s also brought a squishy stuffed animal, crisps, popcorn, soda, candy, and a small collection of self-care items. You hold the face-masks up with a questioning smile.

“Heard somewhere that it’s good for ye, when yer feelin’ down.” You try not to giggle when the last word comes out sounding like “doon.” He continues, blissfully ignorant. “Hope that’s the right shite, there was a lot to choose from.”

You throw your arms around him, chest warm. “Thank you, this is perfect, Johnny.”

He circles his arm around your waist, holding you close. “Anytime, bonnie,” he murmurs into your hair.

You squeeze his shoulders as you pull away, waving one of the mask packets with a wicked little smile.

“Wanna try this ‘shite’ with me?” you tease.

You expect a resounding and masculine-heavy no. Instead, Johnny tilts his head consideringly for a moment, then shrugs.

“Eh, why the hell not?”

You wake up the next morning to a mess of candy wrappers, discarded moisturizers, and an empty carton of ice cream. And the smell of eggs. Cartoons are playing quietly on the telly. When you yawn and sit up, you’re greeted by a cheerful Johnny at the stove, wearing your pink apron.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he calls.

You flush and smile back, glad that you called him. “Mornin’!”

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[scribeofmorpheus]

Dragon Age Veilguard: Love, Wisdom and Pride

A very long Dragon Age post!

Warnings for: Veilguard Spoilers, Solavellan spoilers.

Okay, so I will preface this by saying that this ‘analysis’ primarily focuses on Solas’ arc; both romanced and unromanced. It isn’t intended to be a romanticised analysis, though it is very much enamoured with how a romanced Solas and his relationship with Lavellan foils (and informs my reading/reception of) that of Solas and Mythal’s relationship in Veilguard. There is a relationship I will address that I feel does parallel Solas and Mythal! Scroll down to “Reading Between the Lines” if you wanna skip my little intro below. Spoilers follow.

Truth be told, I wasn’t ever expecting much in terms of actually getting a sequel to Inquisition. The game dev market went through a tumultuous reshuffle before the remake madness breathed life back into many studios. Bioware game sequels (Mass Effect Andromeda) were underwhelming and not as fleshed out since the EA acquisition. I absolutely believe Bioware would have been shunted had Mass Effect Legendary Edition not been so successful. EA’s reputation was always lacklustre and underhanded, but laying off or losing several head writers attached to Bioware with almost two decades of work under their belts was the biggest red flag. Trevor Morris not being asked to return in exchange for a ‘bigger name’ was also a grave warning that returning to the atmosphere, ambience and world of Thedas that we knew was getting further and further away from a plausible reality. And on top of that, there’s the fact Solas was never intended as a romance interest during early development of Inquisition.

Solavellan seemed doomed!

Despite this, I still held out hope for a sequel, but I feared we’d always be in permanent Solavellan/developmental hell. Heck, I’m still waiting for a Beyond Good and Evil sequel—the game released in 2003! So, actually witnessing people play Veilguard, seeing reactions to it, seeing memes and gifs and essay pieces (like this one), it’s like my community has awoken again, and I never thought I’d see the day. Yet I am not blind to the fact we were robbed of so much potential. I knew thing’s wouldn’t live up to re-emerging expectations when Dragon Age: Dreadwolf was rebranded to Veilguard—the shift seemed to imply less of a primary focus on Solas (and apparently, according to the artbook, the early concept art proves this implication correct).

Things seemed even more dire when the devs revealed there was no tapestry mechanic. I had only one hope: that with the Inquisitor’s confirmed return, we’d get at least some form of catharsis for our Inquisitors (Lavellans and otherwise), if we couldn’t get the conclusions to so many storylines present in each of our worldstates. My main fear was that they’d go the clichéd Ultimate Sacrifice route (which happens anyway, but in a way that makes thematic sense given the stakes and heavily blighted worldstate).

Suffice it to say, there was a lot of evidence that Veilguard would disappoint me in the end. But it hasn’t. It hasn’t lived up to the many expectations and marks of excellence that the Dragon Age world built itself into with the first three entries, that’s for sure, but I am also just so deprived of conclusions, of endings (whether it be because TV doesn’t exist in a sustainable format anymore or that comicbook movies are made with a sequel in mind, never letting anything just “Exit Stage Left” gracefully; or the fact we live in a regurgitating content cycle with late-stage-capitalism where anything remotely profitable gets turned into a caricature of itself: Squid Game, Star Wars, etc.). The cycle is so exhaustive that I am actually at a point where I can say I am content with the ending we were given (on a Solas/Solavellan front), Veilguard gave me relief, and beautiful, achy pain to boot. Though I would absolutely be disappointed by both the "non-romanced Solas" endings, given that Solas winds up either "dying alone, forever" or turns to Tyranny.

Now onto the actual review of that Solavellan ending, Mythal and themes of Love!

Note: I have only gotten the ‘best’ ending in my first playthrough, but I also thought the consequences of not maxing factions would be more… dire? Another note, pls, if your romanced Inky swore to stop Solas, how does that ending differ, if at all? Let me know, I’m dying here!

Sidenote: I’m working on writing another review about my views on the ‘sanitised’ worldstate, the new companions (and why I think Varric was the wrong choice to have as an advisor in the game, given that the Inquisitor or Morrigan would have been more impactful; and not to mention that Cole or Briala should have been companions), removal of the tapestry and what it means for the future of stories in Thedas (The Story We Lost is such a poignant compilation of the sheer volumes of lost lore and depth that I honestly think I won’t go as in-depth on that review as this one), and why I think Veilguard is my final entry into Dragon Age.

Reading Between the Lines: What Pride Hath Wrought

One thing is for sure, Trick Weekes flourishes when writing within the ambiguities and complexities of meaning. This makes every word uttered by Solas so great to dissect, he's a god of lies not because he 'lies' but because he's so careful with how he phrases things, what he holds back, and what he reveals.

For instance, the famous Trespasser exchange where Solas mocks his own follies with sarcasm by saying:

“What is the old Dalish curse? May the Dread Wolf Take you.”

Then a softer, more saddened and beaten-down Lavellan replies:

“And so he did.”

This irks him. Because he then realises in that moment that he absolutely did take advantage, but for some reason he frames it around sex rather than power because that’s easier to address than the latter. And he rejects the notion, even though he brought up the expression he knows to mean nothing close to a sexual inuendo for being ‘taken’, and yet he has the gall to try and derail the conversation by pivoting and saying:

“I would not lay with you under false pretences.”

When I first had this dialogue exchange, I was baffled, because did this mean that there was another meaning to ‘Dread Wolf take you’ that Dalish clans lost through the years, or was it more of a self-deprecating joke Solas had with himself because he, the Dread Wolf, romanced (took) a Dalish Inquisitor (away from her people’s beliefs, histories, past), and he found irony in the saying?

On the surface, “wouldn’t lay with you under false pretences” could simply mean “we didn’t sleep together” or “we did sleep together, but I wasn’t taking advantage as the Dread Wolf, I was simply Solas in your presence”. But I have recently thought of a more… ambiguous reading.  Lay could have been used in a milder, more vulnerable way; to mean to be at peace, to be completely vulnerable, as if to sleep. In that sense, the phrasing becomes: “I could not be at peace with you because I was living a half-truth”.

I absolutely think the moment he feels he is truly beyond hope is when we see his expression of abject horror as Lavellan shouts: “I would have had you trust me!”. He realises then that he did fuck up, he did take the choice away from her because he thought he knew better, him and his pride led to a decision that hurt someone close to him, and he could finally see how wrong he was, how alike the entire situation became to Mythal’s treatment of him. Especially if Lavellan asks to go with him. Because he can see that despite the hurt, the lies and the betrayal on his part, Lavellan still wishing to join him draws too close to his first regret: following Mythal.

Whether he likes it or not, Solas’ love which could burn like a bonfire was directed at a powerful woman—a Herald, an Inquisitor—and inspite of her greatness of character, it still shaped her into someone willing to follow him on his dinanshiral out of love, much like he left the Fade and took physical form for Mythal. So now whenever I hear Lavellan shout “Var lath vir suledin”, Solas replying with “I wish it could, Vhenan,” changes drastically with the Mythal reveal, knowing he always walks away from the Inquisitor in Trespasser.

“I wish it could, Vhenan” sounds heavily like: “You would regret me, as I regret Mythal, and I cannot bear for that to happen us.” More poetically, it could read as: “I wish our love could overcome a duty that has lasted an incomprehensible amount of time, I wish I could change my nature, but then I’d be twisted into a demon, like the spirit of Wisdom in the Dales; and yet again, I would become your regret.” These two readings are very, very romantic. Realistically, given what we know of his kinship with Felassan, and how they were comrades and friends for centuries (“A story unfinished. His back turned!”), and given what we know of the complexity of Mythal’s will that presides over the creation of his very being, and yet he was still able to muster the strength to kill a fragment of her to fulfil his mission,  “I wish it could” was most probably a lament: “Do not ask me to hurt one of the two women I’ve loved on this journey, because if it ever came to it…” he would.

Knowing what I know of Solas, of how he was able to convince himself that Varric’s death (avoidable as it was) was just another necessary step, that it was just another sacrifice, another loss that would be worth something only if he completed his ritual, I have no doubt that Solas would also be able to rationalise hurting Lavellan (which is why in his mind, turning away from her, breaking her heart, leaving with no explanation and aiding her in Trespasser so she could live whatever few years remained in “relative peace” is actually an act of preserving that love). I partially think the reason he reveals the truth in Trespasser (especially for a romanced Lavellan) is in the hopes his ‘truths’ will push her away. But on a deeper note, I think he also thinks of it as some twisted form of repaying her for loving him to the point that he could have almost forgotten what it was to be the Dread Wolf, to just be with her as Solas, that night at Crestwood. Maybe his harsh truths would push her to the point where she’d give up her love for Solas, now that she knew he was the Dread Wolf, freeing her from the shackles of their love. He’s very self-flagellating, all about self-sacrifice for the ultimate goal, the ends always justify the means, he will endure any pain and punishment as long as Arlathan returns in the end.

What is his love of a mortal compared to the despair and loss of an entire empire? Solas views himself as selfish for falling for her, and that nearly broke him, if he was selfish enough to leave the dream of Arlathan behind for her, what would that do to his spirit then?

In his way of thinking, perhaps telling the Inquisitor the truth is a way out, a rationale they can use to justify stopping him or to make it easier to hate him as the Dread Wolf rather than love him as Solas (someone he hasn’t been in so long).

‘Masking’ as the Dread Wolf

During Trespasser, the Inquisitor has every right to despise Solas after all they’ve learned, and I think he half reveals the truth as a tactic so the Inquisitor can have an excuse to hate him, to be driven to anger and have less pull over his choices, once they learn the truth. Solas is particularly skilled at making other’s play the role that makes his own choices seem inevitable, he orchestrates a lot of events to play out in a manner where it's easier for him to talk himself into bringing down the veil.

He goads Elgar’nan to anger easily. He inspires the spirits to fight for him to the death as a necessary distraction during the war. He absolutely allows the Inquisitor to speak to him one last time so he can offer insight, yes, but also so he can easily frame his actions as just and inevitable. But, Oh boy does he get in for a shock if the Inquisitor shows empathy towards him, it scares him because he’s become accustomed to being seen only as the Dread Wolf. To be understood? That gives way to remorse. And remorse gives way to doubt. And he cannot doubt his purpose, twisted as it is, it is all he has left of his former self. Without it he would most likely change into something different. Someone he doesn’t recognise.

This fear intensifies more so if a romanced Lavellan asks to go with him, and in that case, he takes command and distances himself away (rejecting the help of someone close to him; the chance for a possible betrayal; the chance at another Felassan or Mythal [x]; the chance to twist Lavellan outside of her purpose, in this case, the purpose would be love/empathy) but not without showing remorse at having sacrificed yet another relationship for his crusade.

“Ir abelas.”

Sorrow for what cannot be is at the heart of why the Solavellan romance is so powerful, especially because even though both Solas and Lavellan love each other passionately, love alone cannot be enough when faced with regrets. Love would ultimately be stifled. Corrupted into something else over time. And so, for Solas, having loved and lost tragically is better than having loved and corrupted.

He will not do to Lavellan what was done to him, even if it is her choice, because she knows so little, her naivete cannot close the distance of a millenia’s old sea, and it would hurt him immensely to take advantage of her kind heart [x].

By leaving, he keeps her heart pure. And the yearning! Knowing the love is there, but on its own it cannot be invulnerable to corruption, so it is better to lose it than twist it. Ugh! Him leaving Lavellan is the ultimate show of love! IT IS A WISE DECISION. A rare glimpse into pure wisdom. Which is why he kneels beside Lavellan in Trespasser, he does not “Stand Tall” in the face of Wisdom’s heart. He kneels beside her. And when he stands tall again, he is Solas once more, filled with regret, and once through the eluvian, he returns to masking as the Dread Wolf.

Sidenote: It’s especially confounding that Veilguard allows Rook to push the Inquisitor to save or stop him after you’ve reached act 2 despite your world state choice (I think this was done in case they feared the Inquisitor wouldn’t stand by Solas after everything he was revealed to be responsible for in Veilguard, however it doesn’t work because the Inquisitor wasn’t an advisor, Rook never told them what they learned from the wolf statues, so having a stranger hold the ability to make Lavellan keep her promise or not rings hollow). Personally, I wish the Inquisitor’s presence had more weight in the non-Solavellan endings, too. I wish the Inquisitor could end up being the last friend/former love that Solas destroys (if you don’t collect the wolf statues) which then prompts Rook to fight him because Solas’ last tie to empathy failed to redeem him, that the Inquisitor falling is the last straw and Solas snaps, choosing to be a villain in the hopes of being stopped because he can’t stop himself, and not the ‘I am a God’ ending they gave us. Same for if your Inquisitor vows to stop him. I also wish the Inquisitor was the one to do the wolf statue missions. Would have been a nice secondary protagonist mission like the switching perspectives between Kratos and Atreus in GOW: Ragnarök (the old guard and the new; Inquisitor and Rook). I would have loved if they dedicated more dialogue to Inquisition days too, which is why I think Cole should have been a companion (if he wasn’t recruited, he could simply be a compassion spirit that ‘follows’ the greatest pain in the Fade that yearns to be healed, giving a compassionate viewpoint to Solas’ folly; recruited Spirit Cole could have a greater connection to Solas than even Varric, seeing as Cole was most likely a literal representation of Solas rewriting his own history by preventing a spirit from becoming too ‘real’; Human Cole would have a deeper connection to the world of Thedas, and could have been a great tool to prove how change was inevitable, not always a bad thing, and inevitably out of even Solas’ control. But alas, we live with what we are given! Even Imshael could have served in this role! Spirit/Demon of choice and it wasn’t incorporated into the game that supposedly asks you to make the greatest world-changing choice ever; redeem the Dread Wolf or end the age of the Evanuris entirely?!

Now onto the next segment: I want to talk about Solas’ regrets and how I read the ‘love story’ between Solas and Mythal, and why Lavellan (and what she represented) wasn’t enough to get through to him (and that’s a very believable thing, that’s what makes their love both tragic and epic!).

The High Price of Redemption

A romanced Lavellan has the most agency to see through his guises, if she resolves to save him, but even she cannot undo the shackles that still bind him to Mythal—the binds that twisted Wisdom so far from its purpose it became Pride, even when he burned (Mythal) from his face. (Likewise, A close friend Inquisitor who promises to save him is most likely a parallel to Felassan, again, they cannot undo the shackles of regret either.) I fully believe the vallaslin had a deeper magic than simply marking one as being committed/devoted to an Evanuris, I think it linked them magically, and since Solas was the first to burn the vallaslin away, he probably wasn’t as good at severing the link on himself as he was for other elvhen, so maybe a part of Mythal’s will still lingers in him, twisting him to Pride still.

In Veilguard’s final confrontation, I love the intention of showing how Lavellan approaches Solas slowly, as she doesn’t know who she’ll be faced with up those steps, Dread Wolf or Solas. But when she speaks to him, trying to get him to change his mind yet again, forgiving him for his wrongs, we are reassured that Wisdom hasn’t been completely consumed by Pride despite everything we’ve witnessed in the game because he bows his head at her in reverence as he apologises.

He shows humility towards her. He elevates her and her enduring love as worthy of his respect, but he does not consider himself worthy of hers. Thus, Lavellan pries open the door to acceptance but his heart is still not enough. Which is why love alone cannot turn the tide. He’s too broken to accept it. He doesn’t think he deserves it, so the only way out is through; to continue the ritual, to prove he was right. The shackles persist. Varric’s death weighs on his conscience now more than ever. Possibly members of Rook’s team too if they died on his crusade. But he is vulnerable enough for Morrigan to approach, and now Rook can use Mythal’s essence to make the final push. The only way he could be with Lavellan, the only way he could atone for the past and shed the weight of his armour (his crushing duty to the Elvhenan) is as Wisdom, fully restored, unbound by mistakes.

“Ar lasa mala revas.” He could only find absolution once Mythal (the angered and more brash essence of Mythal, the one unchanged by Flemeth and all the human women’s lives she’s been shaped by, but the closest iteration to that of Mythal in Arlathan, the version that he perceives as having every right to be angry at him for turning his back on her, for not going that last final stretch with her and subsequently, not being by her side when she died) severed the final connection: facing his regrets, showing humility and apologizing, while not taking away the blame but sharing it.

What is Benevolence without Wisdom if not Hubris?

We know Elgar’nan was twisted to Tyranny during the war, and I saw a post somewhere where someone wondered what led to his corruption, and what he was before (leadership/command). Likewise, Mythal was not above corruption.

So far, I’ve seen a lot of takes on Solas’ ties to Mythal, the power dynamic of being a student/disciple enamoured (could be romantic) with the benevolence of Mythal, but not how Mythal’s purpose was possibly also twisted towards hubris the moment she asked Wisdom to turn physical and build weapons from its knowledge, twisting it to Pride. Without Elgar’nan’s tyranny to rally against after the war with the Titans, Mythal would most likely turn a similar route, seeing her ruling as “necessary” for the people: “If not me then who?”. And that is a very short stop and quick drop to “I am your all-powerful ruler, I liberated you, and only I can guide the way”. Benevolence twisted by hubris can easily turn to Tyranny too, only one more subtle, a kind of cultish indoctrination compared to violent subjugation. If Solas had not turned his back on Mythal when she chose to be Evanuris (a god over her people) then they most likely would have made the worst (best) pair in the Evanuris. Pride is the Seventh Deadliest Sin. But imagine Pride next to Godhood?! That is frightening. So, when Solas burns the vallaslin, walks away and works against the Evanuris, I believe that he also inadvertently stops Mythal from becoming a corrupted version of herself. The sorrow at having lost her closest confidant and “love” grounds her, keeps her saintly in Solas’ mind, and in some ways, perhaps saves the Elvhen empire from a worse fate than him erecting the veil to begin with. But neither of them ever consider this. And I think that sort of self-blindness perfectly encapsulates how flawed both Mythal and Solas are. Now onto love.

Solas and Mythal – a Love too complex to simply classify as mortal ‘Love’.

There’s no doubt Mythal and Solas shared a deep bond, one that definitely had love in it, when we hear Mythal calling him ‘love’, without the possessive ‘my’ in front of it, it’s easy to misconstrue what type of love they share. A small nitpick, but like a thorn, it applies sometimes just enough pressure to change a perspective. Not calling Solas “My love” but instead choosing to simply use “love” works within those wonderful ambiguities/complexities that Weekes thrives in.

If one started out as a spirit, it’s safe to say concepts like familial bonds, romantic bonds, and blood ties mean little to nothing. There is no one type of love and there is every kind of love all at once. It is only once physical bodies are introduced, that physical touch, the ability to stab someone in the back, to kiss out of affection, to hug out of empathy, to strike out of anger, that love now becomes this twisted thing too. There are no spirits of love because spirits always possessed love, but there are demons of Desire (Gluttony) and of Rage (love denied).

I believe, from GDL’s acting skills, his soft whisper, his almost submissive smallness in the breadth of Mythal’s already soft voice, that Solas was in love with Mythal, devoted as a student, beguiled by her benevolence, content even in her shadow, and possibly star-struck. He was in love with someone who doesn’t have the possibility to love him back the same, it is not in her nature to love those beneath her in the same intensity that those who look up to her do. It’s like a priest being in love with God. The priest can devote themselves, sacrifice everything, but a God will always love their flock equally, but they can still play favourites.

Benevolence cannot be enamoured with Wisdom because to be truly benevolent they must possess Wisdom but there is also Pride to be had in walking beside benevolence, but they can never be on equal footing. Likewise, Solas’ love is not reciprocated entirely by Mythal, but she does love him back in her own way. While Mythal is definetly Solas’ first love, layered and complex, it is also strangled by regrets and twisted by uneven scales of power. It would never be a nurturing love, only a consuming kind.

When he speaks of Mythal during the Solavellan ending, he calls her his “oldest friend”, much like what Mythal says, (paraphrasing) “would you have me be angry at my oldest companion whose experienced so much with me”. Because friendship is perhaps the easiest way to describe their companionship. They went through many iterations, one certainly holding romantic tensions (specifically from younger Solas), but ultimately, with that much time shared, kinship/friendship becomes the easiest to surmise. You can love your friends, fall in love with them, fall out of love with them, only to love them again, be disappointed in them, etc.

Media today is flushed with romance as a linchpin for driving a hero to make dire choices, and that has warped our perception of how a platonic/non-romance-based relationship can be all-consuming, and sometimes more impassioned than strict romance. But, to make it easier for people to understand Solas’ motivations, it's easier to see their love in the light Taash sees it (an unreliable, somewhat “still juvenile” narrator, in that they are still growing into themselves and their culture and the world): “They were doing it”.

However, Bellara, a companion whose entire companion story is linked to her strong, deeply character-driving relationship with her brother (platonic love) refutes that reading by saying (paraphrasing here): “We don’t know if their ‘love’ is the same type of love we tend to think of in a masculine and feminine relationship.”

Felassan’s letter after the Mythal Dragon fight alludes to Solas having been in love with Mythal, but nothing about how she felt. This is why I consider the Solas/Mythal relationship to be more of a one-sided romantic love, but a requited ‘love’ relationship for them both.  

A parallel I find so compelling: Solas and Mythal vs Briala and Celene. Solas and Briala both hold deep emotions for people in great power with the ability to end a tyrannical cycle of subjugation, enslavement and classism, yet for both of these ruler’s charisma and well-meaning intent, they often are swayed to side with tyranny. For Mythal, that was Elgarnan, the Evanuris who made all the other’s worse tyrants; as well as her own hubris for believing her presence alone could dampen the ravenous hunger for power that the rest of the Evanuris held at the small prospect of leading the Elvhen in a time of confusion (being a North Star is hard when all the other lights around you aim to blind the flock into submission). For Celene, this is more about the nuances of retaining favour, pull and power over other noble families, their backing (be it financial, political or simply cut-throat), and their support so she can be the ‘lesser of two evils’ compared to Gaspard’s warmongering personality and Florianne simply being a puppet with no backbone. Both Briala and Solas are turned to pawns despite their immense strength and compassion for their respective elven plights; Briala is rendered a fangless lion (for lack of a better metaphor) if she is reunited with Celene, whereas if she is chosen to puppet Gaspard, there’s every likelihood her story could parallel a ‘power-mad’ Solas if he’d been tethered to Rage (at betrayal) and not Regret (at having not rejected Mythal when she asked him to take a physical body) throughout his tenure as the Dread Wolf.

Solas and Lavellan – a Heart that was never intended to be Given/Taken

Now I will compare the lack of possessives in front of Mythal’s “love” to Solas declaring Lavellan as ‘Vhenan’ and then ‘Ar lath, ma Vhenan’ vs ‘Ar lath ma vhenan'; again, the coma is the thorn, the pause that shapes the quiet unsaid things we can deduce. In the Trespasser cutscene DGL puts the pause after “Ar lath”, even though the subtitles construct the sentence with Vhenan as a proper noun since it’s a nickname often used by Solas: “Ar lath ma, Vhenan”. But I believe Solas actually says “Ar lath, ma Vhenan”.

With “Ar lath, ma Vhenan” the stressor is after the pause, so the line reads: “I love [you], my heart.” And with “Ar lath ma, Vhenan” it makes even less structural sense but can be inferred to mean: “I love you, Heart”.  

The possessiveness of “My” is what definitively differentiates the love Solas feels for Lavellan as one more of the romantic side, it is a love of yearning and desire and a wish to have one last good thing that is pure and incorruptible. The one thing he had left to give. His heart. But that does not mean his heart is enough! The rest of him is still bound to the love of Mythal that was twisted through the ages. That changed him. And given how Pride often comes before a fall, I absolutely understand why Solas is actually very brash and ill-considering when he’s romancing Lavellan (“The kiss was ill-considered”/”It would be kinder in the long run”/”I wanted to show you what you mean to me”). He's on a precarious cliff during Inquisition. His first plan failed. He's allowed ancient elvhen magic to fall into a blighted Tevinter magister's hands. Literally everything the Inquisition did could have been for nought if the Mark had fallen to the wrong person. Things could have easily fallen apart for Solas too, so why not indulge in something trifling and fleeting? Execpt it wasn't trifling. Nor was it fleeting. And when he saw that the fall could potentially not happen, that the Inquisitor could do it, save Thedas and retrieve the orb, he was struck by the gravity of his brashness, of letting impulses control him instead of acting according to a plan. But it was too late. They'd both fallen for each other.

Solas didn’t expect to form entanglements within the Inquisition. He was committed. He was angry at the world, “walking through a sea of tranquil”, called flat-ear by the Dalish that later chased him from their village when he proved he was the Dread Wolf. He was despised by people who looked like him. Spirits were constantly being abused and turned into demons. People erected monuments to heroes who slew demons. Mages were caged. Elves were subjugated. The empire fell. Humans razed the lands with their wars and petty squabbles of succession. The darkspawn tainted the land. The dwarves would never dream. Solas awoke to the worst possible fate; in his eyes, it was all his fault.

So when he kisses Lavellan in the Fade, impulsively, he isn’t kissing her there because it is less ‘real’ than if they kissed while she was awake, it makes it so much more real. He’s kissing her in the space where he is most himself. Where he can shed the body he was forced to build and trap himself within, the body of Pride. He is acting on the impulses of an enlivened Wisdom spirit that does not consider tomorrow, for the first time in a long time. It isn’t a long game with Lavellan, like so much of his life has been about always thinking to the future, always considering the outcome, machinating, scheming, the wiles and woes of every trickster god in mythology. It’s being in the moment with her that is all-consuming. It lowers his guard, leaves him vulnerable, and when she enquires about the Fade or spirits or histories, he gets to be useful as pure Wisdom again.

Lavellan challenging him when he first shows animosity or irritation towards the Dalish (a prideful act), and then him being taken aback when she explains that maybe the Dalish could be shown another way (making him consider her words, being given a morsel of wisdom back, reminding him of his old self), these are all small moments where Solas can begin to see springs of hope in the broken world. And that’s terrifying. It means he’s destroying not just himself, but the memory of Mythal and Arlathan too, all for the love of a woman who fell for an apostate.

The best, most genuine unmasking of Solas for me is during Wicked Hearts, when he’s tipsy on wine, has no inhibitions, and revels in the intrigue, the gossip, the dancing, the music (something we now know is important enough to have an entire music room in the Lighthouse), the sex! He is at his most relaxed, and then he asks Lavellan to dance, not caring about how it would look for the “Inquisitor’s serving man, Solas” to be intimate in a fucking Orlesian palace with the Herald of Andraste, right after stopping an assassination attempt! He finds comfort in the world of Thedas at that moment. Something he rarely shows so outright.

When he takes Lavellan to Crestwood to confess, I believe removing her vallaslin wasn’t entirely just for her, it wasn’t just to free her from slave markings or to simply reveal a form of a truth he wanted to tell her, it was to resolve himself of what his first purpose was supposed to be, what she distracted him from. Removing the vallaslin had been something he’d done for the slaves of Arlathan, it was what earned him the mantle of Dread Wolf. When he removes Lavellan’s vallaslin, he resets.

Thedas cannot allow Wisdom to truly exist without fear of corruption to Pride, Thedas the world he was responsible for shaping, literally the Maker of the Veil, and he falls for a woman Heralded as Andraste’s Chosen One, Mythal’s incarnation in the South. The irony. The cruel, cruel irony. The Inquisition is tied to his past, every Andrastian he meets, every Dalish person with vallaslin on their face, every slave or city elf. Tevinter worshiping the dragons that still have the essences of the Old Gods. His heart alone cannot withstand all of the punishing, gruelling, oppressive weight that is Thedas. Even for Lavellan. So he frames their romance as this tragic, short-lived tale that was beautiful but ultimately destined to end. He expects it to pass for her, she’s mortal after all. But he also leaves his heart with her, literally giving her power over the last uncorrupted part of himself. Think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann at the end of World’s End, but metaphorically. He gives her his heart to safe keep as he goes on a journey that could corrupt a heart, turn it cold and bitter, destroy it.   

Ar lasa mala revas. You are free.

He frees his heart.

Lets it go.

Twice!

So only once he is relinquished of his regrets, once Mythal does the same for him, only then is there “Nothing left except their love”. Because Lavellan still held his heart there was still something left after. Something beyond despair and regret and loss. He had given his heart to her to safekeep. And she did. Lavellan returns his heart to him when he is freed. What Mythal had to break so Solas could heal right again (like a bone), Lavellan casts a splint around so it can be set and heal properly. This is the difference between Mythal’s love and Lavellan’s. Both Mythal’s love and forgiveness broke him, but Lavellan’s love gives him the strength to Stand Tall one last time.

Solas, before Pride alone, as Wisdom (perhaps Solas always meant both Standing Tall and Wisdom, for Wisdom can grant one pride to stand tall for what they believe in), finds contentment with the rare and marvellous spirit that endured (his Vhenan). Wisdom endured because of humanity, something benevolence is beyond.

Bellanaris

When Lavellan offers to go with him, to continue on the dinanshiral that she already considers herself a part of, Solas is legitimately taken aback. His expression is soft yet full of disbelief and awe. He actually stops walking a few frames before Lavellan says this, as if hoping Lavellan would say something to him!

And then she basically proposes to him! “Bellanaris!” I absolutely adore the fact that Lavellan promises them eternity. A vow as sacred as a death right, as protected as an ancient, elvhen, undisturbed burial ground in the face of Orlesian colonialisation. They endured and now they will have an eternity. For once, we have an elvish tale that is not a curse, it is a love story with reunion at its core, where both elves reclaim something precious that was denied them.

Lastly, i am absolutely frothing at the mouth that Solas and Lavellan primarily speak in elvish! And even more feral at the fact Solas does not try to talk her out of joining him (because this sweet talker very well could!). He simply tells her where he is going is terrible. And she shuts that shit down immediately. No repeat of Trespasser. She's standing beside him, the South has all but fallen, whatever ties yet survive are strained, and she has fought the good fight for 8 years. I think the Inquisitor was about ready to leave Thedas behind.

The last decisions Solas makes are of his own volition. Entering the Fade for atonement. Stepping into the Fade with Lavellan (It was confirmed by Weekes that Lavellan’s presence in the Fade prison would fundamentally change it in a way we haven’t seen!). Thanking Rook for giving him one last shot at getting happiness. All his own!

This is the look of a man finally reunited with his wife! So much emotion in ONE frame. God! There’s never been a character like him. A love story like theirs! I’m so happy I got to see this ending. Full circle!

P.S. If you read this far, woah nelly! That’s crayyzeee, so here are some more great pieces: Why it was important for Lavellan to kneel for Solas as he knelt for her in Trespasser in the Solavellan ending [x], and here’s a great deep-dive on Solas as a spirit of Wisdom [x].

[pucksandpower]

A Permanent Claim

Day 24 → Piercing 💋 Toto Wolff

Warnings: 18+ content, body modification, genital piercing

Kinktober Masterlist

The paddock is buzzing, as it always is before a race. The hum of anticipation clings to the air, and for the first time in his career, Toto feels … distracted.

You stand next to him, your hands clasped in front of you, eyes wide, taking everything in. It’s your first race. The team is used to Toto’s steely focus, his towering figure commanding the space around him, but today something’s different. There’s an energy swirling around the two of you that no one can quite place. Whispers trail in your wake like shadows, and not one of the mechanics dares ask.

Toto rests a hand on your lower back, a possessive yet gentle gesture, guiding you through the crowd. His touch is firm, confident. He doesn’t look at you, but you know he’s watching, aware of every move you make, every breath you take.

“How are you holding up?” He asks, his voice low, cutting through the noise around you.

You glance up at him, a small, nervous smile tugging at your lips. “It’s a lot. I’m trying to take it all in.”

He nods, his gaze softening for just a fraction of a second. “You’ll get used to it.”

You will, you think. You have to. Because standing here, next to him, you realize how much of his world you’ve yet to understand. The power. The pressure. The eyes constantly watching. It’s intoxicating and suffocating all at once.

Toto’s phone buzzes, and his focus shifts. You can tell it’s important — everything he does is important — but he hasn’t left your side since you arrived, and part of you wonders if he’s more concerned about you than the race.

"You don’t have to stay with me,” you say, trying to sound light. “I know you have work to do.”

He turns his head slightly, his eyes narrowing just a touch. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”

There’s a finality to his words that leaves no room for argument. You bite your lip, nodding, trying to suppress the heat rising in your cheeks. Toto doesn’t often make grand declarations, but when he speaks like that, when his tone shifts into something so sure, you feel anchored.

Across the paddock, you catch sight of a familiar face — Lewis Hamilton. He’s leaning against one of the barriers, casual, yet you can tell he’s been watching the two of you. You don’t know him well, but you’ve heard the stories, seen the headlines. A part of you wants to wave, to acknowledge him, but something holds you back.

Toto doesn’t miss the way Lewis’ eyes drift toward you. He never misses anything.

Lewis pushes off the barrier, walking over with that easy confidence of his. “Hey, Toto,” he greets, his voice smooth, eyes flicking to you for just a second before locking back on your husband.

Toto’s grip on your waist tightens imperceptibly, but his expression remains neutral. “Lewis.”

Lewis’ smile widens, clearly picking up on the tension, but choosing to play into it. “I don’t think we’ve met,” he says, turning his full attention to you now. “I’m Lewis.”

You blink, taken aback by his forwardness, but manage a polite smile. “I know who you are.”

“And you are?”

You open your mouth, but Toto cuts in before you can respond. “My wife.”

The words land heavily, like a brick shattering the easy rhythm of the conversation. There’s a pause — a beat of silence — as Lewis’ eyes flicker to Toto, surprise briefly flashing across his face.

“Wife?” Lewis repeats, clearly not expecting that.

Toto’s hand remains steady on your back, but his fingers press a little harder into your skin. You can practically feel the intensity radiating from him, even though his face remains composed, unreadable.

“Yes,” you say, softly but firmly. You tilt your hand slightly, the massive engagement ring and wedding band catching the sunlight, gleaming like a warning. "We’ve been married for a while."

Lewis glances at your hand, and something unreadable passes over his expression. “Huh,” he mutters, leaning back slightly. "Didn’t know that."

The silence stretches, and you shift uncomfortably, feeling the weight of both their gazes. You wish the ground would swallow you up, wish that the paddock wasn’t so exposed, that every curious eye wasn’t trained on the three of you like vultures circling a fresh kill.

Lewis, sensing the tension, chuckles lightly, trying to diffuse the situation. “Well, congratulations. You’re a lucky man, Toto.”

Toto’s expression doesn’t change, but you can see the flicker of annoyance in his eyes. “I’m aware.”

It’s a simple statement, but the underlying message is clear: back off.

Lewis doesn’t seem fazed, though. He flashes you a smile, one that’s a little too charming, a little too familiar. “You ever need a tour guide around here, I’m your guy. Could show you all the good spots — where the real action is.”

You laugh awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. “I think I’ll be busy with-”

“Her schedule’s full,” Toto interjects smoothly, cutting you off. His voice is calm, but there’s an edge to it now, a subtle shift in tone that you recognize all too well. The kind of tone that means he’s done with pleasantries.

Lewis raises an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the push-and-pull. “Right. Well, if you ever change your mind-”

“She won’t,” Toto says, this time more forcefully.

Lewis holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Just being friendly.”

“Friendliness isn’t necessary,” Toto replies, his voice low, sharp. “You have a race to focus on.”

There’s a pause as Lewis considers his options, then he lets out a low chuckle. “Fair enough. I’ll see you both around.” He winks at you, the gesture making your stomach churn uncomfortably. With one last glance at Toto, he turns and walks away, his strut a little too exaggerated.

You exhale, not realizing you’d been holding your breath.

“I didn’t think it would be like this,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him.

Toto’s gaze softens as he turns to you, his thumb brushing lightly against your side. “Like what?”

“Being … this visible.” You shrug, gesturing vaguely toward the paddock. “I didn’t realize how intense it would be.”

He studies you for a moment, and there’s a flicker of something in his eyes — concern, maybe, or guilt. It’s hard to tell with him sometimes. “We don’t have to come here again.”

You shake your head quickly. “No, it’s fine. I just need to get used to it, that’s all.”

He doesn’t argue, but the way he’s looking at you tells you he’s not convinced. His hand slides from your waist to the small of your back again, grounding you, claiming you.

As you both turn back to the team garage, you can still feel the eyes on you, the whispers trailing in the air like smoke. You try not to think about Lewis, about the way his words felt like needles pricking your skin, or how the weight of your rings didn’t seem enough to stop him.

But Toto knows. He always knows.

Back inside the garage, the chaos of the upcoming race surrounds you. Mechanics are moving fast, engineers checking data, voices crackling over the radio. But you can feel Toto’s focus on you, his mind elsewhere even as he addresses the team. His hand tightens around his headset, the tension in his body mounting, until-

Snap.

The plastic cracks under the force of his grip, and the entire room goes silent. Heads turn, but no one dares say a word. Toto stares down at the broken headset in his hand, his jaw clenched tight.

You reach out, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s fine.”

He doesn’t respond right away, his eyes fixed on the shattered pieces in his hand. Then, slowly, he exhales, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction.

“I’ll get a new one,” he mutters, his voice tight, controlled.

But you know it’s not about the headset. It never is.

“Maybe,” you whisper, “next time, we’ll come without the drama.”

His eyes meet yours, and for the first time today, the tension breaks. He leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, his hand resting firmly on your back.

“Next time,” he says softly, “I’ll make sure they know who you belong to.”

***

The drive is unusually quiet.

Toto’s hands grip the wheel with the same intensity you’ve come to recognize over the years, but his face gives nothing away. It’s the middle of the week, and you’re expecting something mundane — lunch, a meeting maybe — but the route he’s taking is unfamiliar. You glance out the window, trying to figure out where exactly he’s headed, but the streets become less and less familiar.

“Where are we going?” You finally ask, your voice light but curious.

Toto doesn’t respond right away. His jaw is set, eyes locked on the road ahead. Finally, after a long pause, he says, “Somewhere we should’ve gone a long time ago.”

That doesn’t clear up anything. You furrow your brow, glancing at him for some kind of clarification, but his expression remains unreadable. His focus is too sharp, too deliberate.

“Toto, seriously,” you say, sitting up straighter in your seat. “Where are we going?”

He exhales through his nose, a deep, controlled breath. “You’ll see in a few minutes.”

You open your mouth to ask again, but something in his tone tells you to wait. So you sit back, your fingers absentmindedly playing with your wedding ring, spinning it around your finger the way you do when you’re nervous.

After a few more turns, Toto pulls into a small parking lot. You look around, scanning the nondescript building in front of you. A sign hangs above the entrance:

Gilded Needle.

Your heart skips a beat. You turn to Toto, eyes wide. “What — why are we here?”

Toto unbuckles his seatbelt, turning to face you. His expression is calm, but there’s a glint in his eyes that you’ve seen only in moments when he’s dead serious. “Because,” he says, his voice low, steady, “the rings aren’t enough.”

You blink, your mind racing to catch up. “What do you mean, the rings aren’t enough?”

He reaches out, taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing over the engagement ring, then the wedding band. “These,” he says, his voice tight with restrained frustration, “aren’t enough to keep people like Lewis from flirting with you.”

A hot flush creeps up your neck. You hadn’t realized how much Lewis’s flirtation had gotten under Toto’s skin. “Toto, it’s not like-”

“Not like what?” He interrupts, his grip tightening just slightly around your hand. “Not like you noticed? Not like it bothered you?” He shakes his head, exhaling sharply. “It’s not about what you did or didn’t do. It’s about making sure everyone knows exactly who you belong to.”

Your heart stumbles over itself at the word belong. You’re not sure if you should be offended or flattered. Maybe a little of both.

You look at the building again, then back at him. “So … a piercing?”

He nods, his expression unreadable. “Something more permanent.”

A shiver runs down your spine. Permanent. The weight of the word settles in your chest, both thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

“But … where?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper. Your mind races, thinking of earlobes or maybe a discreet stud somewhere, but when Toto speaks again, your world tilts.

“VCH,” he says, as casually as if he were discussing dinner plans.

You blink. “Wait, what?”

Toto’s eyes darken, and the intensity in his gaze sends a rush of heat straight through you. “The vertical clitoral hood. It’s more permanent than any ring. And no one else will ever see it. But you’ll know. And I’ll know.”

Your breath catches in your throat. “Toto, that’s … that’s extreme.”

He reaches for you, cupping your face in his large, calloused hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “I don’t do things halfway, and neither do you. This is just another way to show what’s already true.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and charged. You feel a mixture of disbelief, anxiety, and … something else. Something deep, primal, that you can’t quite name. Your pulse quickens.

“Toto, I … I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he murmurs, his voice softer now. “Just trust me.”

And somehow, despite everything, you do. You always have.

He opens the car door, stepping out, and before you can fully process what’s happening, he’s at your side, opening your door. His hand is extended toward you, palm up, waiting. You hesitate for only a second before placing your hand in his, letting him pull you to your feet.

The piercing parlor looks unassuming from the outside, but the moment you step in, the sterile scent of disinfectant and steel greets you. A woman with bright purple hair stands behind the counter, her heavily tattooed arms crossed over her chest.

“Toto,” she greets with a knowing smile, her eyes flicking to you briefly before returning to him. “You called ahead.”

He nods. “Is everything ready?”

She gestures toward a door in the back. “All set up. Just head back, and I’ll be in shortly.”

Toto keeps his hand on your lower back as he guides you through the door. The room is small but clean, with a leather chair in the center, a tray of gleaming metal instruments set off to the side. Your stomach flips, anxiety mixing with the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You sit down, your mind buzzing with a thousand thoughts. “Are we really doing this?” You ask, your voice barely steady.

Toto kneels in front of you, his large hands resting on your knees. His gaze meets yours, and there’s a tenderness there that cuts through the tension. “Yes. But only if you’re sure.”

You swallow hard. “It’s … a lot.”

He nods, his thumb tracing circles on your leg. “It is. But I want you to feel … secure. Safe. This is a symbol. For both of us.”

You take a deep breath, the weight of his words settling over you. A symbol. It’s more than just the act — it’s the message behind it. The permanence. The trust.

The door opens, and the woman from the front steps in, pulling on a pair of gloves. “Alright, let’s get started,” she says, her tone professional but warm. She pulls a stool over, sitting in front of you. “So, you’re getting a vertical clitoral hood piercing today. I’m going to explain each step of the process so you know exactly what’s happening, okay?”

You nod, your heart hammering in your chest.

“First, I’m going to clean the area,” she says, grabbing a disinfectant wipe from the tray. “It’s important to make sure everything’s sterile to avoid infection.”

You flinch slightly as the cold wipe touches your skin, but the sensation is brief. Your hands grip the sides of the chair, trying to stay calm. Toto’s presence next to you is grounding, his hand resting reassuringly on your shoulder.

“Next, I’ll mark the spot where the piercing will go,” the piercer continues, grabbing a small marker. “I’ll have you check the placement before we move forward.”

She leans in, making a precise mark on your skin. You feel her focus, her hands steady and sure. You can’t help but feel exposed, vulnerable, but Toto’s steady grip on your shoulder is an anchor.

“Take a look,” the piercer says, handing you a small mirror.

You glance down, your heart racing as you inspect the mark. It seems so small, so insignificant, but the weight of what it represents is enormous.

“Is the placement okay?” she asks, her voice calm and patient.

You swallow, nodding. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Great,” she says, setting the mirror aside. “Now, I’m going to use a receiving tube to protect the tissue and guide the needle. It’ll be a quick, sharp pinch, and then it’s over.”

Your grip tightens on the sides of the chair as you brace yourself. Toto leans closer, his lips brushing the top of your head. “You’re doing great,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing.

The piercer positions the receiving tube, her movements practiced and efficient. “Alright, I’m going to count down from three. Take a deep breath.”

You close your eyes, inhaling deeply, feeling the cool air fill your lungs.

“Three … two … one.”

The sharp sting of the needle pierces through your skin, and for a moment, the pain is all-consuming, bright and searing. You gasp, your body tensing, but then — just as quickly — it’s over.

The piercer works quickly, threading the jewelry through the fresh hole. “And now the jewelry is in place,” she says, her voice almost casual, as if she’s done this a thousand times. “Just going to clean it up now.”

Your body relaxes slowly, the pain fading into a dull throb. Toto’s hand moves from your shoulder to your cheek, tilting your face up so you’re looking at him.

“You did it,” he says, his voice filled with quiet pride.

You manage a shaky smile, still feeling a little lightheaded. “That was … intense.”

The piercer finishes cleaning the area and steps back, giving you some space. “You’ll need to follow the aftercare instructions closely,” she says, handing you a small pamphlet. “Keep it clean, avoid tight clothing, and no … strenuous activities for a while.”

Toto chuckles softly beside you, clearly picking up on the implication. You shoot him a look, but the amusement in his eyes is impossible to ignore.

“Thank you,” you murmur to the piercer, your voice still a little shaky.

She nods, standing and removing her gloves. “You’re all set. Take your time, and come back if you have any questions or concerns.”

As the door clicks shut behind her, the room falls into a heavy silence. You lean back in the chair, feeling both exhausted and exhilarated. The reality of what just happened is starting to sink in, and you’re not sure how to process it all.

Toto stands, offering you his hand again. “Ready to go?”

You take it, letting him pull you to your feet. Your legs feel wobbly, but Toto’s steady presence keeps you grounded. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close as you walk toward the door.

“How do you feel?” He asks, his voice soft.

You think for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Different. But … good.”

He presses a kiss to your temple. “Good. That’s exactly what I wanted.”

And as you step out into the cool air of the parking lot, you realize that this — like everything else with Toto — was never just about the piercing. It was about trust. About belonging. About knowing, in ways words could never fully capture, that you’re his, and he’s yours.

***

The night is quiet, a blanket of stillness settling over the room as you and Toto lie intertwined under the covers. His warmth surrounds you, his chest a steady rise and fall beneath your cheek. The faint light from the bedside lamp casts a soft glow across the room, giving everything an intimate, golden hue.

You’re nestled against him, your legs tangled with his, the weight of his arm draped across your waist. His hand moves slowly, lazily tracing the curve of your hip as you drift in and out of a blissful, relaxed haze. It’s been a few weeks since your piercing, and while the intensity of the moment had faded, the memory of it still lingers. A quiet reminder of just how deeply tethered you both are.

Toto’s fingers are gentle as they begin to travel lower, dipping just under the waistband of your underwear. You shift slightly, your breath hitching in anticipation, but you don’t say anything. The sensation of his touch is grounding, like he’s always known exactly how to unravel you, piece by piece.

His voice is low when he finally speaks. “It’s healed well, hasn’t it?”

You nod, biting your lip, feeling a flutter of nerves and excitement. “Yeah. It’s been good.”

His fingers brush against the piercing, and you inhale sharply. Even after all this time, the touch there is still new, still electric. He moves with a kind of reverence, testing the waters, gauging your reaction as he gently taps the small barbell. The sensation shoots through you, sharp and exhilarating, and you let out a soft gasp.

“I’ve been waiting,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear, “for the right moment to give you something.”

You blink, turning your head slightly to look at him. “Something?”

He doesn’t respond right away, just keeps his fingers playing delicately with the jewelry, the pressure of his touch making you squirm. A low chuckle rumbles in his chest as he watches you react, his eyes dark and full of something intense.

“Yes,” he says, finally shifting his weight to reach over to the nightstand. His arm moves smoothly, the drawer sliding open with a quiet click. Your curiosity piques, but you’re too caught up in the feeling of his fingers still teasing you to fully focus on what he’s doing.

When he pulls his hand back, there’s a small, sleek jewelry box in his grasp. He holds it in front of you, his expression soft but deliberate. “I had this made for you.”

Your pulse quickens. The box is elegant, understated, but you can tell immediately that whatever’s inside isn’t ordinary. Toto’s taste has always been impeccable, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at you now that tells you this is special.

“Open it,” he whispers, his voice thick with anticipation.

You sit up slightly, propping yourself on one elbow as you take the box from his hand. The weight of it feels significant, and your fingers tremble just a little as you lift the lid. Inside, nestled against a bed of black velvet, is a hoop — white gold, gleaming in the soft light, adorned with tiny garnets and diamonds that catch the light in the most delicate way.

Your breath catches in your throat. The garnets, Toto’s birthstone, are a deep, rich red, their contrast against the diamonds creating something timeless, yet intimate. The design is intricate but subtle, something that only you and he will ever truly see.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, unable to take your eyes off it.

Toto’s hand is on your back now, a comforting weight that steadies you. “I wanted something that felt more … permanent,” he says, echoing the words from weeks ago. “Something that’s not just for show. It’s for you. And for me.”

You nod, your heart swelling with emotion as you gaze at the jewelry. It’s more than just an accessory — it’s a symbol, another layer of the bond that ties you both together.

He shifts again, gently taking the box from your hands and setting it aside. “Let me put it in for you.”

You bite your lip, feeling a rush of nerves again. The piercing has healed, but the thought of him changing it — of him being so hands-on in such an intimate way — sends a thrill through you. You nod, laying back down, your head resting on his chest as he moves over you.

His hands are steady, and there’s something soothing about the way he handles the small barbell currently in place. He unscrews it with careful precision, his fingers working deftly even though the act itself feels deeply intimate. You hold your breath as he removes the simple piercing, your body humming with anticipation.

He leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin as he positions the new hoop. “This might feel a little strange,” he murmurs, his voice low and calm, “but I’ll be gentle.”

You nod, barely able to form words, and then you feel it — the cool metal sliding through the piercing, the slight pinch as it passes through your skin. It’s quick, and before you can fully process it, the new jewelry is in place. Toto fastens it carefully, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary as if he’s savoring the closeness, the quiet intimacy of the moment.

“How does that feel?” He asks, his voice a soft rumble.

You exhale, your body relaxing into his touch. “It’s … perfect.”

He smiles, clearly satisfied, but there’s a glint in his eyes that tells you he’s not done yet. His hand trails lower, brushing against the new hoop, and your body jolts in response, hyper-aware of the sensitivity there. You squirm, but he holds you in place, his touch light but firm.

“I’m not quite finished,” he says, and you can hear the teasing edge in his voice.

Before you can ask what he means, he’s reaching into the nightstand again. This time, when he pulls something out, it’s not a box, but a delicate chain — white gold, matching the hoop. It gleams in the soft light, the intricate links catching the glow from the bedside lamp.

Your eyes widen as you realize what it’s for. “Toto …”

He smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he attaches one end of the chain to the hoop. The sensation of the cold metal brushing against your skin sends a shiver down your spine, and you instinctively shift under his touch.

“I had this made, too,” he says, his voice smooth and calm as he works. “It’s detachable. Only for when I want it.”

You swallow hard, your heart racing as he finishes securing the chain. The weight of it is light but noticeable, and the idea of him having this kind of control over you, of being able to tug on it whenever he wants, makes your breath come faster.

Toto leans back, his hand still resting on your thigh as he looks down at his work, clearly pleased. “There,” he murmurs, his voice deep with satisfaction. “Now it’s perfect.”

You can feel the chain moving with every breath you take, a constant reminder of his presence, his claim. Your body is already hypersensitive, the tension building in your core as his fingers brush lightly over the chain, testing its weight.

Then, without warning, he gives a gentle tug.

The sensation is immediate, a sharp jolt of pleasure that courses through you, leaving you breathless. Your hands grip the sheets, your body arching slightly as you try to process the intensity of it.

“Toto,” you gasp, but he’s not done.

He tugs again, harder this time, and the sensation is so intense that your body trembles beneath him. Your breath comes in short, desperate gasps, your mind spinning as he continues to play with the chain, each pull sending a wave of pleasure crashing through you.

“Toto, please …” you gasp, your body tense, every nerve ending on fire.

He chuckles, low and dangerous. “Please what?”

You can barely think, let alone form coherent words. All you know is the heat, the pressure, the overwhelming sensation that’s building inside you, threatening to consume you.

“Please … don’t stop,” you manage to choke out, your voice trembling.

He growls softly, his hand moving to your hip, holding you steady as he tugs the chain again, this time with more force. The overstimulation is almost too much, your body trembling as you feel yourself teetering on the edge of control.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. “So perfect. All mine.”

You can’t respond, your breath coming in shallow pants as the sensations build, one after the other, until they’re too much to bear. Your body arches off the bed, your hands gripping the sheets so tightly your knuckles turn white.

“Toto, I-”

He tugs again, harder, and the wave of pleasure that crashes through you is too intense, too overwhelming. You cry out, your body going limp, boneless beneath him as the overstimulation sends you spiraling into a haze of sensation.

Toto watches you, his expression a mix of satisfaction and adoration as he leans down, pressing a kiss to your trembling body. “There’s my good girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft now, soothing. “You did so well.”

You can’t even respond, your body too spent, too overwhelmed to do anything but lie there, completely at his mercy. But as you slowly come back to yourself, the weight of the chain still resting against your skin, you can’t help but feel a deep sense of belonging. Of being his, in every possible way.

Toto shifts beside you, his hand stroking your hair as he pulls you close. His voice is a low, soothing rumble as he whispers, “You’re mine.”

***

Toto’s hand rests possessively on the small of your back as you both step into the dimly lit penthouse suite. The heavy wooden door clicks shut behind him with a quiet finality, the sound echoing in the silence of the room. His grip tightens ever so slightly, a silent reminder of the tension that’s been simmering beneath the surface all evening.

The dinner had been a formality, an obligation for one of the team’s sponsors. You sat beside Toto, the perfect wife, engaging in polite conversation, flashing smiles at the right moments. But the man at the other end of the table — the one with the wandering eyes and smooth comments — had tested Toto’s patience in ways no one else ever dared.

Toto’s jaw had been clenched the entire night, his polite exterior betrayed only by the tightening grip of his hand around his water glass, the flicker of something darker in his eyes whenever the man’s gaze lingered too long on you. You felt it, too — the weight of Toto’s stare, the quiet tension in his posture, the way his fingers would brush your thigh under the table in a subtle, grounding gesture.

Now, back in the privacy of your suite, the air between you is charged, thick with the unspoken. You can feel the intensity radiating off of him, the silent fury he’s held in check for hours.

Toto doesn’t say a word as he leads you further into the room, his hand firm but deliberate on your back. He stops in the center, the large bed looming just behind you. His eyes lock onto yours, dark and unreadable, and you can see the storm brewing in them. The weight of his gaze alone is enough to make your knees feel weak.

“You know why we’re here,” Toto finally says, his voice low, steady, but carrying an unmistakable edge. It’s not a question. It’s a statement, a reminder of the man he is — and the man you belong to.

You swallow, your heart beating faster in your chest. You nod, your voice caught in your throat as you hold his gaze. The tension is palpable, and there’s a part of you that already knows where this is going, already craves it.

“I didn’t do anything,” you say, but your voice is soft, almost tentative. You’re not pleading, not really. You know that this is about something deeper, something that goes beyond the surface of what happened at the dinner.

Toto’s eyes narrow slightly, and he tilts his head, studying you for a moment. “No, you didn’t,” he agrees, but there’s a pause, the weight of unspoken words hanging between you. “But you let him think he had a chance.”

Your breath catches in your throat at the accusation, but you know better than to argue. There’s a gleam in his eyes now, something dark and possessive that makes your pulse race. It’s not anger — not really — but something more primal. A need to assert his claim, to remind you, in no uncertain terms, who you belong to.

Without another word, Toto moves to the nightstand, his movements controlled, deliberate. You watch him, your heart pounding in your chest, as he opens the drawer and pulls out the familiar length of the chain. The sight of it — white gold, gleaming in the soft light — sends a shiver down your spine.

He holds it up for a moment, letting it dangle between his fingers, the weight of the chain swaying gently in the air. His eyes flick back to you, dark and intent.

“On the bed,” he says simply, his voice firm, leaving no room for hesitation.

You move without question, the familiar pull of his command guiding you. Your body reacts instinctively, your legs carrying you to the edge of the bed. You lower yourself onto it, the cool fabric of the sheets brushing against your skin as you lie back, your heart hammering in your chest.

Toto’s gaze never leaves you as he steps closer, the chain still clutched in his hand. He moves with the quiet authority that always sends a thrill through you, his presence filling the room as he towers over you. His eyes rake over your body, lingering on the curve of your waist, the way your chest rises and falls with each breath.

“You’re mine,” he says softly, but there’s no mistaking the intensity in his voice. “And I need you to remember that.”

You nod, your breath catching in your throat as his words sink in, reverberating through you. You already know it — know it in the deepest parts of you — but there’s something about the way he says it now, the way the chain gleams in his hand, that makes you feel it all over again.

Toto kneels beside the bed, his hand sliding over your thigh as he reaches for the delicate hoop piercing. His touch is gentle, but you can feel the heat in it, the barely restrained control as he attaches the chain. The sensation of the cool metal against your skin sends a jolt of awareness through you, your body already responding to him, to the unspoken promise in his touch.

Once the chain is secure, Toto stands again, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath hitch. He gives the chain a light tug, testing it, and the sensation sends a thrill through you — a reminder of the control he has, of the power dynamic that exists between you.

“Crawl to me,” he commands, his voice low, steady.

The words hang in the air for a moment, and then you move, the weight of the chain pulling against you as you shift to your hands and knees. The sensation of crawling, of being pulled by the delicate chain, sends a rush of heat through you, every nerve in your body attuned to him.

You move slowly, deliberately, each motion guided by the subtle pull of the chain as you make your way toward him. The distance between you feels both too far and too close, the tension between you growing with each inch you close. Toto’s eyes never leave you, watching your every movement with a dark intensity that makes your heart race.

When you finally reach him, you stop, kneeling at his feet, the chain taut between you. Your breathing is shallow, your body thrumming with anticipation as you wait for his next move.

Toto’s eyes darken, and for a moment, he says nothing, simply looking down at you with a kind of possessive hunger that makes your skin tingle. Then, slowly, he reaches down and unzips his pants, the sound loud in the otherwise quiet room.

Your breath hitches, your eyes widening as the reality of the moment sinks in. The tension, the anticipation, the slow, deliberate way he’s orchestrating this — it’s overwhelming, intoxicating.

Toto steps closer, the chain still taut between you as he looks down at you with that same dark, commanding intensity. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t need to. The weight of his gaze, the subtle pull of the chain, the way his body towers over you — it all speaks volumes.

Your eyes flick up to his, and in that moment, you know exactly what he wants, exactly what he’s asking of you without saying a word. And you give in, the same way you always do — willingly, eagerly, knowing that this, this moment, is a reminder of everything that you are to him, and everything he is to you.

Your hands move slowly, trembling slightly, as you reach for him, your fingers brushing against the waistband of his pants. You hesitate for a brief second, but you know this is what he wants. No, it’s more than that — it’s what he needs. The reminder of control, of dominance, of the fact that you are his in every possible way.

His hand tightens around the chain, a light but unmistakable tug, guiding you closer, urging you forward. Your heart pounds in your chest, your body already humming with the anticipation of what’s to come. You undo his belt with slow, deliberate movements, your breath shallow as you pull the pants down, freeing him from the confines of the tailored fabric. The silence between you crackles with tension, the only sound the subtle clink of metal and your own uneven breathing.

Toto doesn’t say anything, but his hand remains firm on the chain, pulling gently, reminding you of the invisible line tethering you to him. His presence is overwhelming, his control absolute, and you find yourself moving without question, guided entirely by the silent commands in his eyes.

You lean forward, your lips brushing against the soft skin at the base of him, and the low groan that escapes his throat is enough to send a shiver through you. You know that sound well — it’s the sound of his approval, the sound of him letting go of the tightly held control that always simmers beneath the surface. You take him into your mouth slowly, carefully, your tongue swirling as you adjust to the weight of him, the taste of him.

Toto’s breath hitches, his hand gripping the chain a little tighter, and you know you’re doing exactly what he wants. He’s still watching you, his dark eyes never leaving your face as you take him deeper, your hands resting lightly on his thighs for balance. The connection between you — the chain, the tension in the air, the way he’s completely focused on you — is intoxicating, overwhelming in the best possible way.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough, barely above a whisper, but it sends a thrill through you nonetheless. His fingers tug on the chain lightly, almost as if testing you, reminding you of the power dynamic, the control he holds so effortlessly.

You hum in response, the vibrations traveling through him, and his low groan tells you all you need to know. You work him slowly, methodically, your movements deliberate as you take him deeper, inch by inch. Every sound he makes, every slight tug on the chain, spurs you on, and you can feel the heat building between you, the tension coiling tighter with every passing second.

But Toto isn’t just letting you take control. His grip on the chain tightens again, and this time, when he tugs, it’s firmer, more insistent. The movement sends a jolt through your body, forcing you to take him deeper than before, pushing you to your limit.

You gasp around him, your throat constricting slightly as he presses further, the sensation intense, but not unbearable. He’s guiding you, controlling you, and you can feel the way he’s holding back, teetering on the edge of his own restraint.

“You know exactly what I need,” Toto murmurs, his voice thick with desire, and the words send a fresh wave of heat through you. “Show me.”

You obey without hesitation, your hands tightening on his thighs as you take him deeper again, your body trembling with the effort to keep up with his rhythm. His hand never leaves the chain, the slight tension a constant reminder of his control, his dominance, the fact that you belong to him entirely in this moment.

As you work him with slow, practiced movements, you can feel him beginning to lose control, his breath coming faster, his hips shifting ever so slightly. He’s close, and you know it. You can feel it in the way his grip on the chain tightens, in the low growls that escape his throat, in the way his body tenses beneath your touch.

And then, he gives the chain one more, hard tug.

The force of it sends a shockwave through you, your body jolting forward as he pushes you to take him completely. The sudden movement, the intensity of the moment, takes you by surprise, and you struggle for a second, your throat constricting around him as you try to keep up. You choke slightly, your body rebelling against the overwhelming sensation, but Toto is there, always in control, always aware of you.

His hand moves to your throat, massaging gently, his touch both grounding and soothing as he helps you adjust. “Breathe,” he murmurs, his voice rough but gentle at the same time. “Just breathe.”

You do as he says, forcing yourself to relax, to trust him, to let go. The tension in your throat eases under his touch, and you manage to swallow, the sensation intense but bearable now that he’s guiding you through it. He watches you closely, his eyes dark with satisfaction, his hand still massaging your throat as you swallow again, taking him in fully.

“That’s it,” Toto whispers, his voice thick with approval. “Good girl. You can take it.”

You nod slightly, your body trembling as you continue to work him, the weight of his hand on your throat a grounding presence as you find your rhythm again. His breathing is ragged now, his body tense as he hovers on the edge, and you know it won’t be long before he lets go completely.

He tugs on the chain again, his grip firm but measured, and the sensation sends another jolt of heat through you, your body reacting instinctively to his control. You’re close to your own edge now, the intensity of the moment pushing you closer and closer, and you know that he’s orchestrating this perfectly, guiding you both to the brink.

“Look at me,” Toto commands, his voice rough with desire.

You force your eyes up to meet his, the intensity of his gaze sending a fresh wave of heat through you. His eyes are dark, focused, filled with the kind of possessive hunger that makes your breath catch. And then, with a final tug on the chain, he tips you both over the edge.

The sensation hits you like a tidal wave, overwhelming and all-consuming. You choke slightly, your throat constricting around him again, but his hand is still there, massaging, guiding, helping you through it. You swallow as best as you can, your body trembling with the effort, but Toto’s control, his steady hand on your throat, keeps you grounded.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl as he watches you struggle, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. “Just let go. I’ve got you.”

You do. You let go completely, trusting him to guide you through it, to help you navigate the overwhelming sensations. You manage to swallow again, the intensity of it making your head spin, but Toto’s touch keeps you grounded, keeps you tethered to reality as the moment finally begins to pass.

When it’s over, you collapse against him, your body completely spent, your breath coming in ragged gasps. Toto is still holding the chain, still in control, but his touch is gentler now, soothing as he strokes your hair, his fingers brushing lightly over your skin.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft and full of approval as he pulls you close, his arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace. “You did so well.”

You nod weakly, your body still trembling from the intensity of the moment, but there’s a deep sense of satisfaction settling over you now. You did what he needed, what you both needed, and the weight of that accomplishment fills you with a quiet, powerful sense of contentment.

Toto presses a kiss to your forehead, his lips soft against your skin as he holds you close. The chain still dangles between you, a silent reminder of the bond that ties you together, the connection that goes deeper than words. But for now, it’s just the two of you, tangled together in the aftermath, completely in tune with each other.

And in this moment, there’s no doubt in your mind that you are his. Entirely, completely, undoubtedly his.

[biibini]

nsfw alphabet: mizu

the iconic nsfw alphabet herself.

tags: smut, smut, LOTS of smut, modern!mizu, f!reader, mizu is a munch, dirty talk, praise, mizu (once again) has a DIRTY mouth, fingering, teasing, begging, she pussy whipped lets be real, aftercare, cum play, public sex, idk if a house party counts as public but shh, risky sex

a/n: i don’t think i got the guts and time to do smuttober but at least this is what i got (✿◦’ᴗ˘◦)♡ hope yall enjoy <3

18+ content below!

A — aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

i’ve written this a few times but mizu would be focused on making you as comfortable as possible

tea, cuddles, run a bath, kisses inbetween

the works

she doesn’t want it to ever feel like some transactional act

and focuses on being gentle despite how rough she may go

there’s a lot of love and care that you will get from her

B — Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

her arms are probably her favorite body part, especially after seeing the results from consistently going to the gym

but your body? it’s hard to pinpoint

she will embraces all parts of your body, curves and all

however, i think her favorite part would have to be your thighs

whether you’re sitting on her lap or on her face, she is pro-leg

she’s not too pda but if it’s on your bday, anniversary, or a special day, best believe her hand will be on your thigh when you sit together or in the car

when she’s driving a car, she loves to gently run her hand up and down… maybe even get a little close to tease you on the drive back home

C — Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

she don’t gaf: give a fuck!

messy, messy, messyyyyyy sex

she loves it on her face, tasting your juices after eating you out, licking it like her final meal

the feeling of you cumming by her tongue excites her

it’s like she’s obsessed with your taste

if it’s on her fingers, its licked clean before she puts them back inside again for another round

It’s late into the night and almost finishing the second round. It may just be the second, but my god, you were so drenched. On the other, Mizu was pussy-drunk and lapping away, your cum covering the lower half of her face.

You groan for the third time, feeling her needy tongue make contact with your puffy clit. A cry comes out when she inserts a digit into your soaking pit.

So overstimulating, yet so delicious.

You moan her name again. God, sex never felt so good.

D — Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

she’ll occasionally indulge in degredation during rough sex

if you guys haven’t seen each other in a while… oh that side of her is coming out

(thinking back to that blurb i wrote of her being mean during phone sex)

you have talked about it together with her about where your boundaries lie and you are okay

but she doesn’t want to do it all the time because she wants to make you feel so loved during the act

however,

(ahem)

you’re just so good to her

it’s hard to not call you her needy slut when she’s getting rough and extra mean

“You’re just too good for me, huh…”, Mizu teases, slowly pulling 3 digits out of your dripping entrance. She pulls out her slender fingers slowly, inch by inch. She then immediately inserts them back in, making you squelch as more of your juices get dispersed and flow out.

A gasp escaped out of your mouth, making your toes curl up. You know she can pull this stunt for hours, and you would still feel tight around her fingers.

You feel Mizu’s tongue lick up and around your entrance as her fingers went to work, fucking you at a slow but passionate pace, making you moan to her rhythm.

It had been a while since you and Mizu have spent the night together. From both of your busy schedules, finals, and Ringo being home more often, tonight was when he left to go home for break.

Mizu had been missing you this entire time, and here you are, moaning just from her fingers entering your core.

“More Mizu, please…”, you begged.

She moans your name, fastening her pace. You groan at the change of pace, her fingers penetrating your gummy walls, now quicker than ever.

it had been so long since you felt Mizu’s touch. You were so desperate to spend some time with her during finals week to blow off some steam and forget about everything except her. You wish you never got fucked over by your classmate who barely did any work and barely communicated with your group, making finals even more harder than it needed to be.

“My pretty girl… what a needy slut she can be.”, Mizu coos. All you could do was nod and moan even louder as her fingers started to curl in your wet insides.

E — Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

when you first met, she had little to no experience being with a woman besides kissing

but after experience with you…

oh she knows what spots to hit

and is MUCH more confident in her skills

F — Favorite position (this goes without saying)

nothing except missionary makes her go crazy

feeling your thighs against her waist and watching your face react to every thrust always ignites something in her

she enjoys being able to grab onto your hips for control

honestly, it gives her so much access to everything

You feel her slowly pull out, easing your muscles down below. Mizu snaps back in, making you groan for the millionth time.

You cry out her name as she continued the slow yet vigorous pace, slowly pulling out and filling you up quickly. Her grip tightens around your thighs, almost hot enough to burn your skin. You look up, your eyes meeting her gentle gaze. Her actions proved otherwise.

Mizu scans your body, panting as she continues the pace. You watch as her eyes slowly goes down. She can do nothing except stare at your fucked-out face and the mess you both created. This included her thrusts coming to a full stop inside you.

“Honey?”, you questioned.

Mizu snaps out of her stare.

“Yes?”

“Why did you stop? Is there something wrong? Did you forget the safeword?”

She looked down and back up at you. Mizu shook her head, laughing at what she just did. She comes close to your head, giving you a reassuring kiss.

“Sorry baby, I didn’t mean to stop. You’re just so beautiful.”

G — Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

she was more serious in the beginning

i blame m*k*o for making her feel so conscious ab her actions in the moment

but she’s become more humorous, especially if you started the moment with teasing

she’s a big fan of the “oh really?”

if you get really playful, her teases would get to you quickly

however, most sessions are serious and focused on both you and her feel good snd comfortable

she will always make sure to say she loves you and give you kisses during or after

H — Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i feel like she would just trim and clean up around the edges

it just makes it easier for you to get better access

in general, she is well groomed and have good hygiene

I — Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

she is focused on you in those moments in bed or anywhere

she is such a sweet romantic in bed and aftercare

in most cases, she loves to praise you and make you feel so loved and well taken care of

Making out with her feels like a dream. Making out with her below you while her toy is inside of you is a whole other level of dreaming. As your lips interlock with hers, you continue your slow pace, up & down, letting her hands guide your hips to the rhythm. Your arms wrap tighter around her neck as you were begging for more.

Pulling out of the kiss, you start panting from the loss of oxygen. However, Mizu wanted more of you as well. You feel her left hand leave your hips, now making contact with your cheek. You’d think she would go back in for more kisses.

You were proven wrong.

Her hand pulling head to the side, giving her full access to your neck. Her lips gently brushing your lips, journeying down your neck, leaving behind small red markings at every stop.

“God, Honey, you smell…”, she stops to get close to your neck. You feel her breath tickling your ear.

“…so good.”

She pulls back to look at her work, now blooming into a vibrant shade of red. She grazes her hand over your neck, feeling the burning heat on your neck.

You look down at her expression, curious yet calm. Her eyes make contact with yours, watching you continue to get fucked by your favorite toy on top of her.

So pretty, Mizu thought.

She tucks your hair behind your right ear, gently cupping your face as the pace below slows down. You still bounce on the toy, feeling the toy fill you up. With every inch inside, it makes you moan in response, yet Mizu was being so soft with you above the waist.

“I love you, my pretty girl.”, she says, halting you to a stop, softly kissing you.

J — Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

she doesn’t do it unless she hasn’t seen you in a while

example: that one phone sex summer during your internship (deep-cut iykyk)

but she wouldn’t use toys on herself

she would imagine how you would act and your facial expressions

K — Kink (one or more of their kinks)

she’s mainly dominant but has those switch moments

but what rlly turns her on is hearing you praise her and calling out her name in the middle of the night

especially when you have to keep it quiet whenever Ringo is home (sorry Ringo)

watching you hold back your moans turns her on soooooo much you don’t even know

but if you two are home alone, best believe she’ll make sure to hear your cries

L — Location (favorite places to do the do)

her room since you both can get into the most comfortable positions on her bed

and she values your comfort

however…

one of the most exciting places was doing it on her motorcycle during sunset (yes its possible)

during the final days of summer break, she decided to show you a secluded cliffside viewpoint of the ocean of her hometown

(and thank god she brought the backpack)

because one kiss led to a makeout session which lead to you bent over her motorcycle seat, gripping onto it as she’s pumping a toy in and out of your dripping entrance

and then further proceeding to her eating you out, spreading cum all over her face

would you ever do it again? probably not

was it sexy as hell? well yes!

M — Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

genuinely hearing your voice get louder and watching your reaction keeps her going

and seeing how wet you get turns her on sooo much

if you guys have one little makeout session and she feels that you’re already soaking wet, she’ll be way more turned on than you

“You’re this wet already?”, Mizu teases. You feel her fingers run up your thighs again, meeting with your soaked panties. She’s always surprised to find you this way after a couple kisses.

Too shy to admit it, you nodded in response.

In return, you feel Mizu’s lips connect with yours again. They slowly start to trail down to your neck, your weakest spot. There, you feel her fingers push against your heat, throbbing with your heartbeat.

Mizu moves closer to your ear. Her breath tickles you, but she wasn’t talking about a laughing matter.

“Let’s go home and finish this.”

N — No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i genuinely feel like she would not be down for choking

a light hold… maybe…

she doesn’t want to put you in danger or squeeze your neck wrong (sowwy)

O — Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

her preference? give, give, and giveeeee

she appreciated receiving, don’t get me wrong

but she just loves to give it to you and hear you babble her name again and again and again

as for skill, she’s had to face the learning curve of going down on you

she barely did oral from her previous relationship and now she’s in a completely different sector

however, she is a fast learner (and so is her tongue who said that one)

P — Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

its a 70/30 sensual vs. rough

she loves to explore and touch every part of you, leaving kisses or little reminders (hickies hehe <3)

and squeeze your thighs as she eats you out slowly, touching every crevice with her tongue and fingers

and feel your reaction with every kiss, especially when you squirm and tighten up whenever she kisses your inner thigh

but sometimes, she gets so into it and that she needs more

that hunger for more of you can get a little rough

still loving but good lord

she’s so touchy and her grasp on you tightens

whenever she gets rougher, you can see the hunger in her eyes

nothing else but dark blue orbs, consumed with longing, staring at you when you look down

when it gets rough, she becomes even more of a tease

usually, she’s sweet and teases you a little before giving you all the praise and love

but teasing while playing rough is soooooo goood

she’ll purposely twist a little harder when she plays with your breasts

or lightly bite your inner thigh before leaving another mark

or finger fucking you faster when you finish, successfully covering her with your juices

Q — Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

she isn’t too fond of quickies just because she hates to speed up the whole process of playing with you

unless she’s desperate

if you’re out in public, best believe she’ll calm you down and tell you to wait until you guys got home

quickies at home? maybe

if you have been wet all day, then yes she would be so down

quickies out in public? ohhh she would love to play that game in a secluded area

far away from everyone and all she can hear is your voice as she pumps two of her digits into you? sign her up!

R — Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

the more she knows you, the more riskier she can get

at first, she wants to make sure that you are okay with everything

even the little things (soooooo sweet)

but a little squeeze here, a rough grasp there

she becomes more open to new things

she loves to experiment with location

a little part inside of her gets off to the risk of getting caught

one time, it got really close at one of taigen’s typically “tame” kickbacks

those were never chill

You watch Ringo pour the jungle juice into your red solo cup. It’s mysterious blue color makes you truly wonder if the drink is “water”, as marked by the sloppy handwriting on the jug’s label.

“Good god, what did Taigen pour in here?”

“Whaaaat?”, Ringo yells. You can barely comprehend him through the loud beats and talking around you. Taigen’s parties were usually full, but seeing this many people packed into the house was surprising.

“I said, What did Taigen”, you point out towards the living room, where Taigen was spotted busting a move the dance floor, “put in here?”, you yell back, now pointing at your cup.

You watch Ringo’s mouth make a little “o”, and then shrug. Oh of course. There always has to be something different with the water at his party.

You sigh and give Ringo a defeated smile, hoping to find Mizu. You take a sup of the supposed “water”, and oh boy it was strong.

You had split from her earlier when Akemi came in and brought all the girls, leaving Taigen and his frat brothers to go kinda really crazy. As happy as you were for both parties, it ended up dividing you and Mizu.

You felt you phone ding against your skirt pocket. It’s a notification from Mizu.

Thank god you charged it before coming here.

You read:

Upstairs by the boys’ game room.

Look up.

Looking up, Mizu is a lighthouse in a sea of drunk college students. You beam at her, and she responds with a smile, cheering with a solo cup in hand. As you climb up the steps, you hear the DJ turn up Fein by Travis Scott.

Oh god, Taigen is going to go crazy.

You climb up the stairs to meet Mizu.

“Finally found you. I’d thought I lost you.”, you tease.

“I’ll always find you.”, Mizu responds.

You feel her arm wrap around your waist, pulling you into a needy kiss.

Woah, where’d that come from.

You pull back, smiling at the sudden move. You smell her breath, minty with a little hint from the blue raspberry drink.

“Hon?”, you ask

Mizu hums in response.

“How much did you drink?”

Mizu stares into her cup. Only a few gulps were left from her filled solo cup. So maybe she did drink a little too much with some of the brothers.

Was it to out-chug Taigen? Maybe.

Is it all hitting now? Maybe.

“Mmmm— a bit.”

Screams of people fill up the room as you spot Taigen bouncing around the dance room, crowded around his friends as they chant along to the song, putting the spotlight on him. While others joined the floor, you were distracted with Mizu’s lips placing kisses down to your neck, lightly nibbling near your ear.

“Mizu!”, you quietly yelped.

She couldn’t care less about the party once her lips locked with yours again. Something about that water was dangerous, and she was fully aware when Taigen challenged her to a chug battle and show off his proclaimed “chug jug skills”.

Did Mizu know the consequences? Maybe.

Did she win? Yes.

Was she dizzy from the mystery water? No.

The only thing making her feel dizzy was your touch, and boy did it feel sinfully good when you said her name.

“C’mere.”, Mizu commanded, pulling you by your hand down the hallway.

Now where the hell was she taking you?

“Mizu, where are we-“, you say as she pulls you to the bathroom down the hall.

She silently closes the door. Although the bathroom isn’t too small, there’s only a small window above the toilet. The moonlight and the glow of the string lights below lit up the bathroom. You hear the lock click, making you wonder what the hell you two were doing-

“Honey, what’s going on…”, you question.

Looking up to Mizu’s face, you see her deep ocean blue eyes stare back, needy and almost desperate. Her mind raced with a single thought: she needed you, so so badly.

Mizu closed the gap between the two of you, placing her hands on your hips, gently feeling you up and down. Her touches, simple yet speak so much. The light callouses of her fingers line up and down your back, sending light shivers down your spine. You wrap your arms around your neck, pulling her closer. The heat from her cheeks meet yours, every touch more hotter than the last.

You feel the alcohol from the drink kick in, making you off balance. Mizu quickly pulls you up on the bathroom counter, pulling your waist closer to her. You feel a hand let go of your side, slowly inching between your thighs.

She could care less about the party, the noise, the thumping bass, Taigen, and everyone else. All that matters is how enticing you were.

“Mizu! We’re going to get caught!”, you whisper shout.

Mizu continued to tease, as her hand was now by your inner thigh.

“Do you not want to?”, she barely whispered before slowly making her way down.

Right before you could answer, you feel Mizu’s finger brush your panties, soaked from the overwhelming amount of excitement from outside. You feel her hands gently fold up your skirt, the cool sink tile resting against your burning thighs more as the higher the fabric goes. The more she inched down, the more the alcohol started to drown out the music.

All you could feel was the faint bumps of the base and the burning, twisted feeling building up in your core. Of all places, a house party??

You look down to see Mizu’s face, only a couple inches from your entrance. Her cheeks tinted red from the alcohol, both hands handling each thigh. Her dark blue eyes staring up at you, waiting for your response.

“So what will it be?”

You feel her breath tickling your panties. God, you needed her, now. So what if every frat brother is going crazy to Fein? You got other things to worry about.

“Yes, please… Mizu just, please.”, you muster out.

Mizu quickly acts, instantly pulling the panties to side as she licks up once. She pulls away, feeling the slick slowly run down her bottom lip to her chin.

Fuck, she thought. She didn’t anticipate you being this turned on. Especially with how public this is with the open window.

She also didn’t anticipate how much this turned her on too.

Before going back in, she swiftly pulls your legs a little farther apart, giving space for her to kiss you down your inner thigh, back to your sopping wet entrance. Mizu’s face is instantly covered with your slick.

You feel her tongue enter inside you, a wet and warm feeling fills you, making you moan in response. Instantly, you realize how loud you are and hold back, trying to fight back any possibility of noise before you get caught.

The thought of being found in this state is so horrifying… yet oddly thrilling at the same time. It’s so—

“A-ah Mizu…”, you cry out.

You feel a digit enter you, sharing the space with her tongue. You mew in response, your back arching from the pleasure, further deepening their reach. Both filled you up so well, you didn’t know what you would do without them. As you stretch back, Mizu continues her pace, slowly stretching you with every filling pump.

Her agonizing pace continues as you hear your voice start to echo against the cool tiled walls. With every pump, you feel your thighs wrap around Mizu’s head, your hips attempting to rock into her mouth. Going back and forth, you don’t even realize how long its been until you moan her name.

Mizu slowly pulls out. You think she was finished until you feel full once again, now 2 digits deep inside you. Before you can fully register the feeling, Mizu’s tongue swiftly glide over your clit, further stimulating you.

What the fuck was in that “water”??

You moan out Mizu’s name again, louder than the first time, as you feel her fingers continue that slow pace, fully pushing inside of you, and barely pulling out before she enters you again. As she continued to stretch your insides, all you could do was hold on to dear life.

It’s like you could feel everything: the dizziness of the alcohol, the faint feeling of the boosted base thumping, the whispers of conversations coming from the window, the wet squelches of Mizu’s work, the increasing pace of her fingers continuing to stretch you out. And it felt so sinfully good.

That is, until you hear a voice.

“Y/N? You up here?”, Akemi calls out.

Shit.

Both of you freeze. You scramble to find your phone as you hear Akemi call out your name again. You feel your phone vibrate, the ringtone barely humming.

She’s calling you.

Oh god, please don’t be serious.

You pick up the call, your bottom half still frozen against Mizu.

“Hello?”

“Oh my god, Y/N, where are you?”

“In one of the bathrooms. Whats-“, You feel Mizu’s tongue enter inside you again. Holy shit.

“What’s up is that I’m ditching this party. One of the boys was acting so weird with me and my friends and I’m just sooo icked out.”

You try to listen as Akemi continued to ramble on about one of the new brothers while your mind is busy holding back your moans. Mizu inserts the two digits back, curling inside you with every thrust.

You look down to stare at Mizu, busy with her work, and trying to stay as silent as possible. She looks up at you, smiling back at you. You watch as her mouth pulls away from your entrance to your inner thigh, leaving kisses and hickeys inches away from your sopping wet core.

“Anyways, Y/N, just wanted to let you know before I go. If you’re down, come meet us at the In-N-Out. I think I need a different meat tonight.”

You laugh at her joke, continuing to suppress any moans as Mizu’s fingers increase their pace.

“Alright Akemi. I might see you there- ah-”

You feel the pace slow down, as another finger gets added inside, stretching you further, before continuing their original pace. You feel Mizu’s thumb ghost over your clit, continuing to circle around the throbbing muscle.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just, I thought I ran out of toilet paper.”, you say as you start to grind your hips against Mizu’s wrist, adding more stimulation to your clit.

“Okay. See you maybe there. Bye byeeee!”, Akemi says, ending the call.

You quickly shut your phone off, now able to focus on Mizu.

“You’re so good at keeping quiet.”, Mizu teases.

You wish you could tell Mizu to shut up, but only moans come out of your mouth as her pace fastens. The way that her fingers continue to easily stretch you from your slick, her thumb playing with your clit, and her eyes, hungry for your release, was making you reach the top faster than you ever could.

“Fuck, Mizu I’m going to—”

“Right on my face, baby.”, she says.

You reach the peak. Your legs start to shiver against Mizu, squeezing her more than ever. You feel her fingers pull out as she replaces it with her face, licking up every drop of your warm liquid.

S — Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

with her stamina… she can go for a couple rounds

realistically, 4-5 rounds

due to her athleticism, the rounds can last a long while, maybe even 45 to an hour for just one round

no matter how many rounds, rhe final one will always be the sloppiest and she eats it up everytime

T — Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

duh, they have the backpack

it’s mainly for your pleasure

obviously, she comes strapped

(haha get it)

a few vibrators

however, she wouldn’t be opposed for you to try them on her or together

U — Unfair (how much they like to tease)

as i’ve stated many times, she is such a sweet and loving girlfriend

she teases you if you’re being playful

it’s not usually verbal teasing but more physical teasing such as tickling you or playing with your face

she can’t help that you’re her cutie girlfriend

V — Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

ohhhh she’s loud, whether she’s top or not

she uses her words, and its DIRTYYYY and possessive

“such a good girl”

“you’re my pretty girl”

“i know you can take it, you’re doing so well already”

W — Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

she loves being squished by your thighs whenever she eats you out, especially when you place your legs on her shoulders

something ab the skin to skin feeling surrounding her by her cheeks, in front of her, on her shoulders

it’s so intimate and such a turn on for her

and she’s able to watch the rest of your reaction by looking up

X — X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

she’s more on the leaner side but you can spot some muscle

she’s a gym rat she got abs

they developed a while after Taigen proposed some elbow plank competition at the gym with her

in typical fashion, the competitive spirit in Mizu decided to challenge Taigen

they’re not chiseled but when you’re leaning against her, you can feel them and those babies are hard

Y — Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high.

she never realized it with her previous relationship but it is ridiculously high

even when you’ve finished, she will keep it going and help you get to the next high again and again

her stamina does help increase her sex drive

and totally not your reaction when you finish every time

Z — Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep)

it takes a while for her to fall asleep

besides cuddling, a warm bath with you is the best aftercare

with a few candles (scented of course)

some bubbles

so she’ll stay up to make sure both of you are clean and warm and content

if she has enough energy, she’ll throw your towels in the dryer so that both of you get to wrap yourselves in warm towels

once she changes back into pajamas and is cuddling with you, that’s when she gets really sleepy

maybe a good night kiss or two <33

[luvelve]

˚ · . sweet blue - k. mingyu

summary: your husband’s not very good at asking for things, not even for a shave. but of course, he gets it either way.

pairing: husband!mingyu x afab!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive

warnings/tags: kissing, shaving, mentions of use of a blade

a/n: i took a long and unexpected break from writing and i’m happy to be back <3 this has been sitting in my drafts for sooooo long and i finally finished it today. the ending was kinda rushed but i wanted to publish it either way to kinda get myself out of this slump. as always, feedback & likes/reblogs are always welcome :)

the dark colored marble touches the front of your thighs as you inch closer, which surprises you but you try your best not to flinch because of the task at hand. at this moment, you feel like an artist, a sculptor if you will; carefully carving clay with utmost precision. except you’re not a sculptor, and you’re not carving clay. you’re in your bathroom giving your husband, mingyu, a shave.

this was new for the both of you, as mingyu always just shaved his incredibly slow growing mustache by himself. what started all this is him seeing you in your nightstand or in the bathroom doing your makeup and skincare, and he finds it all so amusing. he swears harps and violins play in the background when you’re in your own little world, dusting your cheeks with blush, taking your mascara off, or applying lip balm? lip… stick? lip…. whatever it is that you put on your lips, he thinks to himself. all he knows is that he can watch you do it all day. but he’s also left wondering, how it would feel to do what you do on him.

for some reason, mingyu isn’t able to muster up the courage to ask you straightforward to do his skincare, but he is able to ask you to be the one to shave him since he tells you its that time of the month where his mustache gotten too long for his liking. he comes up with the excuse of not doing the job well enough, and that his face gets all ‘itchy’ afterwards. which is all a lie of course, but it’s enough to convince you to do what he asks of you.

and so you find yourself in your shared bathroom at nine in the morning, standing in between your husband’s legs as he sits on the counter, both of your faces inches from each other. the room is silent but not eery, it’s a comfortable silence. mingyu had joyfully shown you the things he uses for his shaving routine: a cheap razor, shaving cream, some aftershave seokmin had recommended to him, and a towel.

“you really should get one of those good quality razors. not these disposable ones.” you scold mingyu softly, looking at him sternly with one hand resting on his head and the other holding the razor.

“but they’re expensive.” he extends the last syllable in protest, his reply a bit garbled as he tries his best not to move his mouth too much. you know mingyu well enough that he would be pouting at this moment, if only you weren’t shaving his upper lip.

you’re too focused on the task at hand that you don’t bother arguing with the giant sulky man in front of you. you continue making slow downward strokes using the razor, watching the hair slowly disappear. mingyu doesn’t have a lot of hair on his face like other guys but you take your time, making sure to get the job done right. it is, after all, your first time.

your husband watches as your lips contort out of focus; a habit of yours that he’s taken notice and grown fond of over the years. every now and then , you get rid of the hair and cream, swishing the razor in the sink that’s filled about halfway in water. mingyu feels nothing else but happiness and content in this very moment that he’s internally doing jumping jacks.

your resting hand shifts from his head and onto his cheek to get better leverage and mingyu just has to lean in to your touch. he relishes the feeling of your warm hand and then looks at you with adoration in his eyes.

“baby…” you raise your eyebrows at him, wondering what on earth he’s doing this for in the middle of a shave. mingyu doesn’t react to your words but instead shoots you a small derpy smile, and only you would know what he means.

if there’s one thing your husband is good at, it’s getting you to give him your love and attention without even saying anything. there are nights when mingyu comes home exhausted and all he has to do is stand there in your doorway, signalling to you that he wants to be in your embrace. or when you get up earlier than him and you find him just as he’s about to wake up; he’s buried in the sheets, hair all messy, just laying there, silently telling you that he wants a taste of your lips before his morning coffee.

and it’s the same thing he’s doing now. you let out a small sigh as you tilt your head a bit in fake annoyance before you lean in to connect your lips with his. it’s quick but it’s enough that mingyu lets out a hum of contentment. you pull back and he giggles as your lips catches some of the shaving cream, giving yourself a tiny little mustache.

“happy?” you quickly reply, and mingyu catches you to plant another kiss on your lips, placing his hand on your cheek to deepen the kiss a bit.

“very.” he says, as he swipes the pad of his thumb on your upper lip to get rid of the shaving cream he transferred onto you. his giggles bounce off the quiet walls of your bathroom.

“now can you sit still so i can finish this little bit that’s left?” you say to him, and he replies with a small nod and a sheepish smile, one that’s big enough that his canines show through. mingyu feels like a sixth grader who just kissed his crush. if the marble counter wasn’t in the way, he’d be kicking his feet.

you finish the small patch of hair that he has left and you proceed to put aftershave on him, assuming it is what you put after one shaves. you put a little bit on your hands and you’re thrown off by its strong musky scent. surely this can��t be good for his skin, you think to yourself.

“babe, you really use this stuff? i think this is way too strong for you.” you say with a worried look on your face. “well… seokmin told me it was good so i just used it too.” he replies.

“well yeah, it could be working for him but for you… i’m not too sure. i don’t know… i’m just worried.” you trail off, getting some tissue to rid your hands of the product and his eyes follow you around the bathroom while you do so. you shuffle back to stand in between mingyu’s legs, “i’ll go get something from my stuff instead.”

he watches as you momentarily leave the room to grab something from your vanity. he waits in the bathroom like a five year old waiting for his mom at the grocery counter. he hears the sound of your drawer open and close and it makes him chew at his lower lip in excitement.

“okay, this should do the job.” you say as you take the product onto your hands and pat it gently on your husband’s annoyingly smooth face. you make sure to cover all the parts that the blade has touched, and your head tilts left and right trying to make sure you didn’t miss any spot.

the way his eyes light up and follow your every move don’t go unnoticed by you. his hands make their way to rest on your hips again, squeezing every so gently as not to distract you.

“aaand, that’s the last bit of it.” you say, tightening the cap of your moisturizer and setting it down on the counter. mingyu internally pouts because the task is done, nonetheless he still props himself off the counter to take a look in the mirror.

“thank you, baby.” he says softly, shooting you a sweet smile as he turns to face you again. his arms snake around your waist to pull you in for a kiss and just when your noses touch, you pause. “you know… we still have a bit of time before we have to head out. why don’t we go back to bed for a little while?”

mingyu instantly picks up on what you’re trying to say and of course he jumps on the opportunity, “yeah?” he questions, and you nod as you wrap your arms around his neck. “well you know i can’t say not to that.” his smile reaching from one ear to the other. he leans down to attach his lips to yours as the both of you slowly walk backwards into your bedroom.

“oh, one more thing.” you mumble, momentarily breaking away from the kiss. “mhmm..” mingyu hums, and you feel it rumble in his chest. “i know you don’t get ‘itchy’ after you shave, it was just an excuse to get me to do it for you.” your tone is playful, and right then and there mingyu knows you’ve got him.

“what-huh? n-yes, i do!” your husband stutters, his ears turning red in embarrassment. “sweetheart, you really expect me to believe that? i know you like the back of my hand.” you reply. before mingyu is able to say anything else, you grab his arm and lead him out of your bedroom. “now let’s go, you owe me a yummy breakfast.”

[3rachasdomesticbanana]

Among Strangers | Bang Chan

•Synopsis: A handsome stranger takes it upon himself to take care of you in a crowded subway as you try to evade a man that had been following you after a night of drinking.

•Pairing: au Bang Chan x Female Reader

•Content Includes: smut, stalking, public unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, crowded area, sex with a stranger, biting, possessive chan, brief mentions of bondage and claustrophobia with a surprise ending. (I think that's everything)

an: This was first posted on my Wattpad but it was pretty ass and didn't do well so I fixed it up a little bit (a lot... Like it was so bad lol) and figured maybe it would be better appreciated here.

Part II

Want more smut? Follow the banana 🍌

After a chill hangout at the bar with some friends from work, you all decide to head home. It's been a chill night with not too much drinking. Since you live close by, walking home seems like a good idea for some fresh air. But as you split from the group, you realize you're not alone. You start to get this eerie feeling like you're being followed. Looking over your shoulder you see a hooded figure and the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up. At every turn there he is, shadowing your every move, sending shivers down your spine.

Nervous about the idea of him following you home, you hop onto the subway thinking you could hide among a sea of people. With the size of the crowd there's no way he could find you. You're confident it'll work as you weave your way through the crowd, tripping over your own feet in a rush to lose him. You aim for the door at the end of the car on the other side just to create some distance between you and him. You steal a glance over your shoulder, heart pounding, checking if the man is still behind you. But in a rush, you accidentally step on someone's foot, sending a jolt of embarrassment through you.

“Oh my god!” You exclaim, cheeks reddening. “I'm so sorry.”

When your eyes meet the stranger in front of you, you're met with kind gentle brown eyes belonging to a beautiful man with dimples and perfectly styled hair buzzed slightly on the sides.

“No worries.” He smiles sweetly showing off his perfect dimples while his velvety Australian accent engulfs you and calms down some of the panic in your chest.

Looking over your shoulder again, you catch sight of the man coming into your view. His gaze meets yours, and a smirk plays on his lips before he casually looks away. Panic surges again, your moment of peace gone, sending your heart into overdrive and your eyes to widen in alarm. The handsome stranger in front of you notices your reaction and follows your line of sight to the man in the black hoodie, mirroring your concern.

"Hey, you okay? That guy giving you trouble?" His voice cuts through the chatter of the people around you. His voice, laced with a hint of concern and tinged with something darker, making you snap your attention back to him.

The dim subway lights overhead cast shadows across his young face, highlighting his handsome features more rather than diluting them. You feel a knot tightening in your stomach realizing just how worried for you he is. He glares at the creep and the muscle in his jaw ticks once.

“He’s been following me since I left the bar. I was too afraid to go home so I tried to make a detour to shake him off but he's fucking relentless.” you explain in a quiet hush.

The creep looks over at you again as if to make sure you're still in his eyesight and looks away quickly to not draw attention to his shady acts.

“Maybe he'll back off if he thinks we're together? He looked away pretty quick when he saw me. I'll stay with you for however long you need. Just to be sure that you're safe.” The stranger beside you says sweetly.

You felt fucking lucky to have run into someone willing to help you, to keep you safe. You could've ended up locked in some damp dark basement if not for this man you thought to yourself. You can already feel the mild tipsiness from the alcohol wearing off and you feel more alert and aware of your surroundings.

“Thank you so so much.” You reply and the man holds his hand out for you.

“I'm Chris.” He gives you an award winning smile that lights up his whole face and yours.

You mirror his smile and take his hand. One shake and you gasp at the sudden static shock that you feel spread throughout your whole body rather than just your fingertips. His hand is soft and warm and your body suddenly feels hot all over as if you drank a lot more than you really did.

“Y/N.” You introduce yourself timidly and he gives a small nod of his head.

The train rattles to a stop and opens the doors behind you and Chris, letting on more people eager to get home after work. It becomes increasingly crowded and you're forced even closer to Chris. So much closer that you have to take a couple of steps back in an attempt to have some space, only for your back to hit the glass window of the other doors. Another stop and more people push in, bringing the creep closer to you and forcing Chris's chest to push into yours. He apologizes, placing gentle hands on my arms.

“If you get uncomfortable let me know. I'll try and make space.” He tells you, placing a hand above your head as the train rumbles along.

“Y-yeah okay.” You mutter, feeling the hard muscles underneath the white button up shirt he's wearing.

With the alcohol completely gone from your system now, you realize that the situation you're in is beyond embarrassing. Your breasts are rubbing against his chest with every rock and shake of the train in an almost lewd way. Granted you are thankful that he's keeping you away from being pressed up against some weirdo or worse the guy following you but still, It's awkward. There's no way he can't feel your heart beating so rapidly. The train makes a sudden bump and your bodies are pushed together even more.

“Sorry.” You whisper when your hands instinctively go around his middle. He chuckles and you feel it vibrate through your chest, causing the butterflies in your stomach to flutter awake.

“It's okay y/n. You give great hugs.” He says, the butterflies go mad and your face grows warm.

He's so sweet and so good looking there's no way he was flirting with me just now. No way, he's just a really sweet guy. Yeah… he's just being nice.

As the train continues to go on you feel eyes on you, burning a hole straight into your skull. Looking around Chris's muscular frame you see the creep, staring, lewdly licking his lips and undressing you with his eyes, no doubt. You squirm to try and get out of eye sight but Chris's strong hand holds you still.

“What's wrong?” He whispers. His voice makes you shiver against him and his fingers tighten on your arms briefly.

“That creep is staring at me.” It makes you feel disgusted. Your skin crawls the way his eyes slide over your face.

Chris curses under his breath and pauses. “I'll push up to give you enough space to turn around so he can't see your face. Maybe once these doors open we can quickly get off and lose him then.”

You nod at his idea and he pushes on the door, putting an inch between you two. It's not a lot of space to move but you try your best, turning around facing away from Chris and the creep. Now, at least like this, your breasts aren't crushed into him. Only now, your ass is pressing against his front. From one awkward situation to another…. This is what I get for going out after work on a Wednesday. You think to yourself. I should've gone straight home or at least changed.

The skirt you decided to wear to the office today is now hitched up just barely covering your ass. If you can just keep still maybe he won't notice and the situation doesn't get any more embarrassing than it is.

“So uh what do you do for work y/n?” Chris asks and clears his throat. You can feel every word against your back.

“Uh, I work at CBO. I'm an editor over there.” You feel him nod behind you slowly.

“I heard they're supposed to get a new CEO. Some big shot is what the news is saying.” He responds but you shrug. You haven't heard much about the new CEO except for that he's the son of the previous CEO as well as the new owner now that his father is retiring.

“I'm sure he'll be a great boss. I actually haven't met him yet. I don't even know what he looks like” You utter softly sounding uncertain. Would he be a great boss? Would he take care of you? Who knows he could change everything with just one hand.

══════════════•✦•✦•══════════════

The train enters a tunnel and you watch the lights outside in the darkness flick and zip past in a blur before noticing Chris's reflection. His eyes are on you, studying your face in the glass of the door. Your eyes meet in the all the air gets sucked out of your lungs like a sudden punch to the gut. His gaze is smoldering, far too hot to be on the receiving end of such intensity. No one says a word although his lips slowly form a sexy coquettish smile.

“Do you need me to stay with you when we get off while you call your boyfriend?.” He whispers.

You shake your head no, eyes still on his reflection. “Don't have one of those but I can call a friend to pick me up.”

As you're about to open your mouth again to thank him for the hundredth time, the train comes to a screeching stop and the lights in the car go out. Men and women grumble and some even scream. The force causes Chris to slam into you and your skirt bunches up further about midway up your ass. In a panic you tell him and he curses under his breath.

“I'll try to fix it but I have to touch you, y/n. Is that okay?” Him asking for consent to touch you makes him that much more attractive.

“Yes, please.” You say, just as a voice is heard over the speaker.

“Passengers, please be patient there seems to be some debris on the tracks that is blocking our route. They're already taking care to remove it. We'll be moving on shortly.” The voice is replaced with calming elevator music playing loudly.

That's a smart way to keep everyone calm so that no one panics. Only one panicking right now however is you. The feel of Chris's fingertips against your bare thighs is driving you insane. His touch is hot but you shiver like his fingers are made of ice. Why is it turning me on so much when he's just trying to fix my skirt?. The move is too slow to be legal that's why. His movements feel so sensual.

“Sorry, I'm trying not to draw attention.” He explains as if he can hear your thoughts.

Shit you want to stop him. To say never mind and to leave it as is and pray that the train will be stopping soon to let some people off… but you don't. Instead you hold your breath and squeeze your legs together. Your arousal grows to an unbearable high. It's just a simple touch. Why is it driving you crazy? You aren't inexperienced at your age by any means. You've had lovers before but this man's fingers, they burn wherever he touches.

“The material of your skirt seems to be stuck on my fly.” He says and the urge to crawl into a hole is strong. “I can fix it but I'll have to lower my zipper. Tell me what you're comfortable with y/n.” He whispers leaning closer to your ear.

Loose tendrils of your ponytail flutter around your ear from his breath and you mentally remind yourself to breathe. Would it be selfish to ask him to lower it? What if he's uncomfortable with that? This isn't just about you now.

“I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.”

He places his palm flat against your thigh comfortingly. “Whatever you decide, I won't be uncomfortable. As long as you're comfortable y/n, then so am I.” The conviction in his voice calms you and you give him a curt nod once.

“Lower it please.” You whisper, your voice sounding small with embarrassment.

His hand moves again from your thigh to your ass and you bite your lip hard. His knuckles graze the bareness and you unexpectedly feel him stir from inside his black slacks. Seems like I'm not the only one turned on by the other. Slowly and agonizingly, he lowers his zipper to not be heard over the piano and violin playing through the speakers.

“There. Are you okay?” You don't feel okay. You feel like you’re on the verge of dying from embarrassment and horniness. You can feel the opening of his pants against you and his growing erection pressing into your ass.

“I'm okay.” You lie. “Thank you Chris.”

Out of habit whenever you're riddled with anxiety, you shift your footing which only makes your ass rub against his erection more. “Shit. I'm sorry, I move around when I'm in an embarrassing situation and this takes the cake for me.”

He chuckles softly. “It's okay. I uh, I can't really control it unfortunately. Not when I've got such a beautiful woman like you in my arms. You make it… difficult to say the least.”

You rest your forehead onto the cold glass feeling the blush take over your whole face and he chuckles again.

“If I knew my evening would be like this I wouldn't have gone to happy hour with my co-workers.” Your sad confession fogs up the glass and you close your eyes.

He places a comforting hand on your hip. You're so packed he can't seem to stand the way he was before. His arms are restricted from raising any further than your hips now.

“It's okay y/n it's not all bad. We got to meet after all.” He says, making you smile.

“That's true. I don't know what would've happened if I didn't run into you.” His hands linger and you get so used to the heat that when he finally does move them away you feel cold and shiver under him. He groans softly, sending something like an electric current to the space between your thighs. That sound… you want to hear it more. Biting your lip you shift your weight from one foot to the other.

“Y/n…” Chris quietly says, sounding amused. “What are you doing?”

You shake your head feigning innocence. “My feet. It's these heels, I'm sorry.”

Why did I do that? I've seriously lost my mind but why do I want to do it again? The feel of him hard against your ass must be making you certifiably insane. This isn't right. Your better judgment screams at you. It's just your hormones getting out of hand.

When he places both hands on your hips and leans in, you expect for him to call you out on that blatant lie but instead he whispers, “Do it again.” All while slowly playing with the hem of your skirt.

You stifle a silent gasp, jaw dropping in disbelief, yet you obediently follow his instructions moving your hips just slightly. When you do, his left hand grips onto your hip tight and he sighs. His erection, that's fighting itself to stay inside the confines of his briefs, jerks forward against the fabric. Before you can shift again, his right arm wraps around you and his fingers find the wetness of your panties.

“So I'm not the only one fighting temptation I see.” His warm sweet breath fans across your cheek and your body sags a little in his arms when his fingers begin to dance.

Focusing on your breathing is all you can do so you don't faint from his touch. And trying to stay quiet now becomes a struggle the more his fingers move.

“Is this okay y/n?” You can only nod, too afraid of accidentally moaning and embarrassing yourself anymore today. He just chuckles and stops the torturous tango that his fingers were doing. “Use your words baby girl. Tell me if it's okay or not.” he instructs.

“Yes. It's okay, more please.” You hoarsely whisper, voice thick with lust.

Chris doesn't move, doesn't make a sound for what feels like minutes rather than seconds. Afraid that he might not have heard you, you open your mouth to repeat yourself when his fingers slip under the satin of your thong and into your slick folds.

“Good girl.” He says, his voice dripping with sex.

You lay your head back onto his shoulder as he works you just barely over the edge. Long fingers slipping in and out, massaging your thoroughly drenched cunt with ease. He grinds the heel of his palm against your clit and everything around you begins to blur. Lust, that primal urge, it ignites like a flame inside you, pulsating with an insatiable hunger that courses through every fiber of your being. You're so close to cumming around Chris's fingers, soaking his hand with your desire. You want to tell him just how close you are but if you let up on the hold your teeth have on your bottom lip you won't be able to control the sounds you'll make.

The lights come on just as you're about to come undone and he quickly removes his fingers just as quickly as he inserted them. The train begins to move again and you squint at the sudden light overhead that blinds you, breathing heavily. Before your eyes can adjust to the light and before your core begins to crave Chris's touch, you feel him fumbling behind you freeing his cock and distracting you from the frustration of your denied orgasm.

“Is there anything I should know?” He inquires, sounding like he's in a business meeting.

You don't need to ask what he's referring to. The real question though is do you really want to do this here, with someone you just met? What if you get caught? You both could get arrested. You could get fired. But there's no room in your mind for logic right now with the thrill and your need to cum clouding you. Fuck it.

“No nothing, I'm good. This is what I want.” You see his reflection smile.

“Good. Now, keep your eyes on me y/n.”

You feel the tip of him, covered in precum pressed firmly on your ass and his hands slide under your navy skirt pushing it up further. He hooks his thumb under the string of your thong and pulls it to the side. Your eyes never leave his face.

“No noise.” He warns, situating himself behind you, lining his cock up just right.

His cock feels thick and hot slipping between your thighs. You're so wet that there's little to no resistance as he pushes further and further until he's fully inside you. You let out a shuddering breath and your eyelids flutter close, feeling his warmth.

“No noise, remember? Look at me y/n. I want to see you when you cum on dick.” He tells you quietly, his voice more quiet than a whisper.

Your eyes fly open and stare at his reflection in awe of how gorgeous and composed he looks. He looks calm, like he's doing nothing other than waiting for his stop but his hands tell you otherwise. You feel it in the way he's gripping you to steal himself and to keep from bucking his hips into you at full force like he wants to. Like you want him to.

Instead he has to go at such an aching delicious slow pace so that the people behind him or next to you both aren't aware of what's going on. Your fingers long to hold onto him, to anything really. You're stuck standing still with your palms flat against the glass in front of you. Your breathing begins to fog the glass but you keep your focus on Chris and notice how his eyes go half lidded.

The brown seems to have gotten darker than the warm milk chocolate from earlier. One of his arms snakes around you and he presses his hand flat on your belly giving him more leverage. When he starts to move just a tad faster your heart rate skyrockets. The fear, adrenaline and lust mixing together creates an intoxicating concoction. Every glance, every touch, becomes charged with an energy that enthralls you. Your pulse echoes in your ears, drowning out all rational thought.

Chris's thrusts are covered up by the rocking of the train as it speeds down the rails. Your orgasm isn't far at this rate. Like a slow burn you feel it building up. A simmering that starts deep within your core, radiating up and outward. You're struggling to stay standing, to stay quiet now.

Your breathing comes out in ragged pants and your knees threaten to buckle the closer he brings you to ecstasy. You aren't the only one struggling, Chris's breathing is just as shaky and primal as yours and you hear him whisper something in another language before he murmurs “Fuck.” Into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. When your walls tighten around him he curses again and his gaze looks wild.

“Why do you feel so good around my cock y/n?” He asks but you don't dare respond. He smirks, grinding himself into you. “You take directions s-so well. So… obedient.” He whispers.

You can hear how he's losing his control. His composure has melted away and he no longer looks calm and collected. He looks like a man high on sex and chasing the release that's within reach.

“Y/n… fuck. Tell me, can I cum inside you? Will you let me fill you? Use your words beautiful.” He nips your neck just below your ear and you tremble.

“Yes. You can,” You bite your lip again to hold back what would've been a loud gasp when the train jerks Chris forward causing his cock to slam into your sensitive cunt. “You can cum inside. I'm so close Chris.”

“Then cum baby. Fucking cream on it y/n. Shit, so good.

Hearing him lose himself like that is your undoing and you're falling apart around him. The air becomes heavy with the heady scent of arousal, thick and intoxicating, swirling around you and Chris like a seductive veil. Each breath is laced with the taste of pleasure. Time seems to stand still as you stare at him. Eyes wide as you breathe through your nose squeezing your lips shut tight desperate to make no sound at all. Your cunt convulses around his cock begging to milk it of every drop.

The aftershocks of your orgasm shoot through you as he continues to thrust deeper and deeper. His own orgasm right at the edge. His arm tightens around you, hugging you closer to him. his breath becomes shallow and erratic as he reaches his climax.

“Fuck, fuck.” He whispers and he bites down hard on your neck over your fast pulsating pulse, sucking your flesh to keep himself from telling you how you belong to him now.

He bites you to keep the grunts and praises from tumbling out of his mouth uncontrollably. Because something about you makes him lose control. He doesn't do shit like this. He's careful, always planning and thinking things out. He just doesn't do spontaneity. He didn't plan this, it just happened. You just bulldozed into his life and he can’t get enough. What is it about you that makes him desire this cunt he's currently filling to the brim that he craves to make sore and swollen with his cock until the sun rises? Whatever it is, he's already addicted. He needs you in his own space, tied up nice and pretty like a gift only for him to unwrap. Fuck. He's already thinking of all the positions he'd have you in if you were at his place.

You watch in awe at how intense and irresistible he looks while he spills himself inside of you. His eyes hold so much power over you. You feel the weight of his possessiveness in his unwavering stare and it excites you immensely. You find yourself thinking of asking him to come back to your place where you'd be free to move around, cry his name out without anyone around. You're curious how sex with Chris would be in a more relaxed setting. If this orgasm was intense you can't imagine how it would feel when he isn't holding back.

He slowly pulls out of you, fixing himself as best as he can and then fixes your skirt back in place. He places a sweet kiss to the back of your head, chest still rapidly rising and falling. When you blush he chuckles.

“You're a cutie y/n. After all that, you blush from a kiss. So adorable.” He murmurs and you shift your feet. “If we don't get off soon I'll end up going for another round if you keep that up.”

You giggle and look back at him, “Sorry, I'll behave.” You sweetly say.

“What if I don't want you to?” He says instantly.

You blink at him, your face reflecting shock in the glass, and he chuckles. “To be honest with you y/n, I'd love to see you again if you'd let me.”

“Me? Seriously?” You whisper in disbelief.

“Of course. Preferably somewhere less crowded. I think after today I'll be just a little claustrophobic.”

You laugh and even after what just happened you can't believe how incredible of a guy he is. He wraps his arms around you, hugging you while you laugh.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a beautiful laugh y/n?” He whispers and you shake your head. “Why does something as simple as hearing you laugh make me so hard? What have you done to me?”

A shiver of pleasure runs through your body and he exhales quietly.

“I'd fuck you again right now if we weren't about to stop.” He tells you followed by the robotic female voice informing everyone to wait until the train comes to a complete stop and the doors open.

As the subway doors slide open, Chris grabs your hand and pulls you through them, dodging the rush of commuters that are eager to go home. With ease he leads you away from the hooded creep that's desperate to find you, vanishing into the shadows behind a massive pillar. You peek out from behind Chris who scans the area cautiously. When the man doesn't see you he hops back on the train, disappointment evident on his face but relief floods over you. Glad that's over.

"Thank you Chris." you say, sending a quick text to your best friend for a ride. “For saving me I mean.”

"It was my pleasure, y/n." he replies smoothly, grinning at you, his gaze lingering on your lips. His thumb brushes your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. "Anytime you need saving, or anything really just give me a shout, yeah?" He hands you a sleek black business card with fancy gold letters.

Maybe you will call him, because you really can't imagine that you'll get the memory of how he felt inside of you out of your mind. Besides, he made it very clear he wanted to see you again and how could you turn a man like Chris down?

After saying goodbye when your bestie arrives, you watch Chris walk away in the side mirror as the car eases into traffic. Glancing at the card in your hand, you see it reads "Chris Bang, CEO and Co-owner of CBO," and you feel a wave of shock and mortification wash over you.

“Who was that hottie?” Your friend asks bobbing her head along to the radio when she stops at a red light.

“My new boss…” You say, still feeling his warm cum still inside of you.

“Also... what the hell happened to your neck?”

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons

A/n: So, I'm going o invest more content on my favorite captains of bc because they're hot , badass and deserve all world's attention. Here's some sfw/nsfw headcanons for them✨️

Tw: Nsfw content

_____________________________

Yami :

Sfw

He's super protective of you and that's something he doesn't hide. If any man messes with you (even if you are strong), that guy is officially dead.

You are the only person he allows to pick up his sword and use it on a battle. He trusts you so take good care of his katana because this man is broke and can't afford a new one.

He also likes to go out with you and take you out drinking or playing cards. If you win a bet against him, be prepared because he won't give up until he wins... or until he falls asleep from drinking. He's a terrible gambler but he refuses to accept that.

You usually train together and he likes to see you push your limits. He also likes it when you go on a mission with him so he can see this. He's proud of you and your power.

If he's having another one of his daily battles in the bathroom, you'll be the only one who can come in and give him the toilet paper he's missing because Asta forgot to change it.

(Asta run for your life)

Nsfw

I don't need to tell you that this man is rough and will surpass his limits in the sheets. Good luck to you and goodbye legs.

He loves being between your legs, devouring you and tasting everything you have to give him, probably even getting "drunk" on your juices.

He likes to see you squirm beneath him, the marks he left on you covering your skin (Yes, he really leaves a lot of marks on you), your eyes rolling and your voice calling him so well. Poor bed and poor other members who will listen to you all night

His hands will be all over your body, a lot of physical contact during the act. He loves it when you run your hands over his body too. You can even scratch his skin and bite, he doesn't feel pain. Only pleasure.

There's a lot of dirty talk.

And don't try to tease him, you don't know the risk you're running. Listen, he has no problem with that thing called public places. He puts you against a wall and does whatever he wants.

Regarding the fact that you can't walk properly, don't worry, he carries you everywhere in his strong arms.

He's just my type fr🤭

William :

Sfw

Super cute and kind to you. He is super careful with you, always giving you those sweet smiles that makes your heart melt.

He always likes to check on you to make sure there's nothing wrong or if you're 100% fine.

He's shy and whenever you hold his hand in public or kiss his cheek, his face will heat up from blushing. You just laugh at his cuteness.

He really likes hugs after a long day of work, he feels like you calm his heart and give him good energy.

He's fallen for you since the day you traced his scar with your fingers softly and told him how beautiful he still was. No one had ever done this and he was moved by this affection.

You were proud of him for who he was and not for his appearance and that made him shed little tears.

Nsfw

Do not proceed without your full consent. He wants you to feel good and comfortable.

The touch is soft and delicate, lots of tender kisses on your skin. He doesn't like to leave many marks like Yami, HOWEVER... if you leave some on him, it will cause "things" in him. (It turns him on but he's ashamed to admit it)

I see him being a sub and will let you take over things a lot of the time because he just loves it when you do.

Touch his body, kiss him, take him deep and slow as he likes. This man will have to fight with himself not to come when you ride him and look into his eyes. He goes crazy.

Very gentle with you after the act, always cleaning you and offering you everything you need.

(William, the door to my house is open... you know?🥹👉👈)

Fuegoleon :

Sfw

He is very serious in his role and always wants to have you by his side.

He loves your presence even though he is working hard, and if you help him he will thank you.

He might be a bit like William in the sense that he may be a little shy when you hold his hand or kiss him in public, although he doesn't blush like him.

He always tries to keep you protected and advises you not to talk to Mereoleona too much, he's afraid she'll make fun of him in front of you or drag you to the volcano where she trains.

This woman is dangerous, but having her as a sister-in-law is a gift tbh. She'll beat the shit out of everyone if anyone touches her brother's beautiful girlfriend.

Leo will probably love you because you love and care for his older brother. You two will be great friends.

He likes it when you run your hands gently through his hair when he is resting. This is comfortable and relaxing.

Nsfw

He's the middle ground between going fast when he's feeling excited (after you teased him all day) and going slow and sensual when he comes into the bedroom tired and just wants you to put your arms around him.

He dominates, he likes to be on top, seeing you beneath him arching when his fingers caress you or when he grabs your thighs and thrust you. He lives to see you squirming on the mattress.

He likes to praise you, whispering in your ear how beautiful you are, which gives you goosebumps.

Please run your hands down his back, he loves it and it makes him go deeper.

He hugs and kisses you a lot after he finishes. He is much more relaxed between four walls than in a public place where he hesitates a little with the PDA.

Nozel :

Sfw

Dear, be patient with him. He may be cold to the core but his eyes... they never lie. His look at you is something that many royal ladies who notice him would like to get from him.

He doesn't make long vows of love but look, he's the best with actions and no one will come close to you because he defends you a lot.

Although he and Yami don't get along, they are both overprotective lovers.

Even if you're not from a royal family or something, he won't let anyone discriminate against you for that. That person will disappear without a trace and it's all the work of Nozel fucking Silva.

Serious, but until you give him that little smile that makes him look away in embarrassment. You can see the tips of his ears turning red and you tease him for that.

He ends up smiling for a second and you feel like the luckiest person in the world to witness this event.

Nsfw

Don't underestimate this man, he is a dom and will always show you who is in control. Although I think he has a certain look that he would like you to take control.

Don't fight back, obey. He doesn't accept a no and if you're a brat to him, he'll punish you for it.

If he's having a bad day, he'll probably come to the bedroom to have you in his sheets and relieve himself. Goodbye legs once again...

He will also mark you, he is the only one who can have you and the marks made for him only turns him on.

Not only in the bedroom does he like to see you squirming and calling for him, but also on the office table while he takes a break from work. I don't see him being shy if someone came in but he would probably threaten anyone if they even thought about telling what they saw.

He makes sure you're okay afterwards and will put you in his arms, kissing the top of your head.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I DREAM, NOW, OF A NORMAL LIFE WITH YOU ; SUGURU GETO

synopsis; suguru isn’t a lightweight. this is your first time actually seeing him drunk — though maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’d be the sappy kind.

word count; 9.4k (..... i got carried away ok)

contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader (shoko calls u "girl" but in a "girl help" way not a gendered way), written w a no curses au in mind, sugu is a sappy emotional drunk i said what i said, sickening amounts of fluff, depictions of intoxication, reader is averse to alcohol, sugu wants to marry u so bad it makes him look silly, lots of emotions & lots of love <33

a/n; this fic has been ROTTING in my drafts for the longest time but its super precious to me and now i finally get to post it!! @softgirlgonehaywire & @hayakawalove ily ty for being interested in sappy!sugu this is a treat for u <33

the bar isn’t all that far off from your apartment.

it’s a short distance, really. walk straight ahead, until you reach the record store that suguru likes to frequent, and then take a right; a minute or two uphill, and then you’ll be able to see the blue of the sea. once you’re there, all that’s left is to look for mellow golden lighting and descend a set of stairs.

which is what you’re currently doing, popsicle in hand, loose clothes and comfortable shoes on as you wallow in the mellow summer evening. everything is blue — the dark shade of the sky, and your ice pop, pastel and sweet, tasting of pure youth. the hoodie you threw on is a rich cobalt, suguru’s in name but yours in spirit. he only wears it when you complain that it doesn’t smell like him anymore.

humming a jolly tune, you take a sharp turn, allowing the summer sensations to curl around your subconscious. blissed out and content. 

you were so, so bored — stuck at home with no one to keep you company, no one to mumble snarky commentary about the show playing on tv, no one to run their fingers through your hair while your head rests in their lap. pure torture, really, being faced with the consequences of your own actions. after you stupidly told suguru you’d be okay on your own.

he even asked you twice, just to be sure, even told you that he’d prefer you to join him on his night out. and again, you declined; because it’s been so long since he had some time alone with shoko and satoru, and you were feeling a little tired anyways. 

so he gave in. heading out, with a promise to bring back a tub of your favorite ice cream, leaving you with the apartment to yourself. did you come to regret your little white lie? maybe. possibly.

but everything worked out in the end.

a pleasant breeze caresses your skin, brushing against the apple of your cheek, and you watch as peach blossoms dance in a faraway park. cicadas cling to every tree in sight, buzzing a pleasant tune, mingling with the giddy giggles of high school students enjoying their summer vacation. it’s been raining for a couple of days; you can still smell it in the air, feel it in the low tinge of humidity clinging to your skin, still hear suguru’s insistence that you bring an umbrella with you to work — just in case.

but today, the skies were clear, and it’s late, not too humid but not too chilly. and the stars are out, glimmering in that fuzzy sea of mellow cerulean, leaking out like little marbles cast into space. falling down, down, down, close enough for you to see. from here, it looks as if they’re waving. you resist the urge to wave back.

peace. bliss. a nostalgia so vibrant you could drown in it, feel it lick at your ankles like soft sea foam.

eager to scratch a certain itch in your brain, attention span zipping from one street vendor to the pop music blasting from a couple streets away, you take your phone out from your pocket. absently scrolling through your messages, until you get to the ones shoko sent you just ten minutes ago. the ones that brought you out here, into a summer evening soon to slip into nightfall, ones that have you walking to the bar you chose not to join them at.

messages that still have you pushing back a bout of giggles, chewing lazily on your ramune ice pop with a giddy smile.

sho 🚬: come get ur man sho 🚬: he’s drunk. sho 🚬: like DRUNK drunk 

you: …… um.  you: what happened to hi? hello?? good evening???

sho 🚬: no time for that. look sho 🚬: [ image ] sho 🚬: he looks so goofy lol

unable to resist the temptation, you press the pad of your finger against the screen — opening the image attachment, just to drink in the sight once again. what you see is a certain man, slumped over in his seat, cheek smooshed against the wooden table in front of him. messy hair, no longer tied into a bun, cascading down his shoulders and back. from the little you can see of his face, his skin is flushed a light pink, and his eyes are closed, fingers still curled around an empty beer jug. 

like a sleepy puppy.

a coo tiptoes on your tongue, but you bite down on your lip in an effort to stop it, just grinning at your screen with pure adoration in your lovesick eyes. 

he’s drunk, alright. an unfamiliar sight, but not at all unwelcome. because he’s cute, terribly so, so cute that it hurts, even when he’s obviously wasted. it’s almost funny — you know their drinking habits. shoko holds her liquor so well that it’s a little horrifying, and satoru can get wasted if he has more than a sip of it. and suguru?

suguru never gets drunk. he barely even drinks. out of consideration for satoru, maybe, or you. probably both. that’s just how he is; you thought he hated fish for years, because he was always so eager to give you the best bites of the sushi rolls you ordered. turns out he was just indulging you.

so, to be frank — the idea of him suddenly being drunk is a little bit of a shocker. but it’s also kind of exciting, in a ridiculous way. new, fun, just what you need when you’re bored out of your mind.

(or maybe you’re just happy to have an excuse to go see him.)

you: NOOOO  you: MY BABY 😭😭😭 you: what did u guys DO to him???

sho 🚬: satoru and him made a bet 😐 you know how they are sho 🚬: he drank like a divorced mother of four ive never seen something so beautiful

you: …. you: have i told you that you’re both terrible

sho 🚬: u love us <33 sho 🚬: anyway he’s been asking me where u are for the past ten minutes pls come i can’t stand him sho 🚬: he’s crying.

you: HUH???????? you: WHY????????????????

sho 🚬: dude i dont know sho 🚬: please come get him he’s being so sappy that satoru’s abt to throw up

you: ???? okok 😭 you: im omw ig??

sho 🚬: girl hurry he just told me he genuinely appreciates my presence in his life 😐

an exhale — laced with deep amusement — drops from your lips and spills into the summer air. it tastes like a memory from long ago.

slipping your phone back into your pocket, you raise your gaze, searching for a glimmer of goldish light. soaking up the scent of the ocean, sparkling on the border of your peripheral. salty and sweet.

no matter how hard you try, all you can think of is that certain someone, waiting for you to pick him up. your mind keeps drifting back to the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the way his hair falls over his face when he leans down, the sound he makes when he stretches in the morning.

you want to see him. badly. you want him near, want to feel the familiar warmth of his presence, want to see him smile and laugh and sigh and raise his eyebrow at your antics. 

so there isn’t any time to waste. you’re walking towards that familiar set of stairs before you know it, shoes hitting the asphalt with a mantra of satisfying thuds. 

and when you step in through the opened door, you’re immediately engulfed by a sense of overflowing comfort. mellow, warm lights, the soft buzzing of static from an old radio, low citypop beats trailing through the air. the bartender by the counter gives you a curt nod in greeting, before motioning towards a certain table. it’s over in the corner, covered in beer jugs and fancy glasses, with three beauties seated around it.

satoru notices you first.

a bright grin finds its way onto his face, and he waves you over giddily, happily. barely contained excitement in the motion. shoko’s gaze follows his, flitting over to meet yours — and you think she mouths an oh, thank god, before taking another sip from her glass. she brings a hand up in greeting when you come closer, and you can’t see her smile, but there’s a crinkle to her eyes; a warmth in them that you’d never miss.

”hey, guys.”

”yo!” satoru chirps, beaming in a way that’s so distinctly him it makes you soften. he looks so comfortable in his seat, with a cocktail you know is non-alcoholic and probably too sweet for anyone but him to stomach. giggling to himself, leaning over to poke suguru’s cheek, with a teasing declaration of your chaperone is here! 

and there he is. 

the man you came here for, still slumped over in his seat, unresponsive. not for long. as the lilt of your voice reaches his ears, his eyes flutter open, in a bout of recognition — even in the drunken state he’s in. an immediate sensation of familiarity creeps into his veins, rousing him from his cozy, half-asleep stupor. 

he doesn’t even grumble over the way satoru keeps poking at his cheek, interest and attention focused solely on a certain someone. you, your presence. 

and when your eyes meet his, he lights up.

it’s precious, you think, how his eyes widen, blooming with genuine affection, so endearing you could kiss him right then and there. his face is flushed, and his hair is tousled, and the warm lighting of the bar paints him in a golden hue. so perfect for him, your star in the sky. 

a smile spreads across his lips, big and happy and warm, and you can’t help but mirror it. 

(gosh, he’s cute.)

with a dizzy kind of eagerness, suguru sits up, palms flush against the table to support his weight. he stumbles out of his seat, paying no heed to satoru’s amused huff of careful! or the rattling of fragile glass.

it only takes a few uncoordinated steps for him to reach you, where you haphazardly lean against the wall, watching him amusedly. that delighted smile never leaves his lips, as his arms go to curl around your waist, big and heavy, his jaw finding its rightful place on the curve of your shoulder. 

”baby,” he drawls, fond and affectionate. breathing you in. ”sweetheart. my angel.”

a flustered puff of laughter slips from your lips, stumbling a little under his weight. his voice is syrupy sweet, overflowing with love and adoration, soft in a way that has your knees buckling. a little raspy. murmured right into your ear, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. 

he’s too sweet for you to handle, really, even sweeter than satoru’s overpriced cocktail. and he smells the same as always; a blend between coffee grounds, cigarette smoke and rain, one that never fails to soothe you. even when it’s tangled up with a vague but vivid stench of alcohol, courtesy of the drinking he’s been doing until now. 

you crinkle your nose, but don’t let go of him, nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head. words buzzing with warmth. ”hey, sugu.”

suguru only squeezes you tighter, content to have you in his arms. finally, his world makes sense again. all he can do is bask in your voice, warmth, scent — he’s just so enamored by it all. almost in a trance, heartstrings dancing along to the beat of your presence, your very existence, that appears to him as something almost angelic. soft and familiar, something that feels right at home when it’s tucked into his embrace. where he can keep it safe.

”missed you…” he murmurs, sleepy, smearing an open mouthed kiss against the crook of your neck. ”i love you s’much…”

a chuckle. ”i love you too,” you echo, running a steady hand over his back. your voice is laced with something teasing, but awfully fond. ”you really are drunk, aren’t you?”

”mm…” he only hums, cheek pressed flush against your soft skin. ”’m sorry…” he mumbles, stifling a yawn. he sounds a little guilty, and it makes you want to coo. pull his cheek a little.

instead, you laugh. amusement vowen into the bubbly noise. ”it’s fine, sugu. c’mon — let’s go home, alright?”

at that, satoru visibly reacts, placing his glass on the table with a soft clink before getting up to stretch. he grabs suguru’s discarded jacket, letting it hang off his arm as he walks over to the two of you.

”i’ll help you carry him,” he smiles, always so dependable. so ready to be of service. maybe a little too eager to carry suguru around like a sack of potatoes. 

a smile blooms on your face, and satoru gives you a playful wink. shoko just leans back in her seat, stretching idly. it feels like home with them there.

”i’ll stay here,” she hums, a faint grin tugging at her lips. ”he’s your problem now.”

”got it.” you meet her lidded eyes, sharing an amused look as satoru tries to coax suguru away from you, pulling at his cheek while he whines and clings to the fabric of your clothing.

finally, he relents, and you look back at the table with a grin. ”see you later, sho’.”

a smile is the only response you get, but it’s enough. it’s her, the same as always, still sipping from a glass of expensive whiskey and raising her hand in a silent see you. relaxed and cool, and so very lovely. 

with one arm over satoru’s shoulder and the other clinging to your hoodie, suguru stirs.

”shoko…” he groans, craning his head to look back at her, even as satoru makes a move to leave. ”don’t drink too much. and watch out for strangers…” 

he trails off, blinking drowsily, a protective tone to his voice. worried. awfully like him. neither you nor satoru can resist the chuckle you indulge in, but shoko just rolls her hazel eyes.

”i don’t need to hear that from you,” she scoffs, tinged with amusement and what you’re almost certain is embarrassment. there’s a fondness to her snark, one you’d never miss. 

(shoko will always be shoko. you know that she appreciates suguru’s concern, even if she doesn’t want to show it.)

”alright, c’mon,” satoru quips, slapping suguru’s back with a grin. ”there, there, big guy. let’s get you home, hm?”

just as you suspected, he doesn’t let you help, doing all the heavy lifting on his own. not breaking a single sweat, flaunting his strength as he hoists suguru up the steps — while you do nothing but follow, a light jacket hanging off your arm. 

cold midnight air embraces you, slathering your cheeks with the essence of summer as your shoes meet the asphalt. satoru smiles, a low exhale escaping him, dusting off his hands. ”there we go.”

suguru stumbles towards you, no longer caged in, slumping against your shoulder with a satisfied sigh. blinking slowly, as you link arms, his muddled senses adjusting to the outside world. a pleasantly blue sky, a sun long set, and a string of lamp posts to light up the street ahead of you. artificial fireflies, watching over the town you love so dearly.

you part your lips, and a soft exhale slips out, dripping with fondness. ”thanks, satoru,” you smile, meeting his gaze.

”don’t mention it,” he waves you off, but you know he appreciates it; always eager to be praised. ”can you bring him back by yourself?”

”yeah, we’ll be fine. it’s close, anyway. don’t worry.”

a hum buzzes in his throat, and his cobalt gaze drifts upwards, to bask in the starry sky. a moment passes, and then he’s looking back at you and suguru; a soft and earnest smile playing at his lips. so sincere you want to reach out, cup his cheek, make sure he knows how loved he is.

”i’ll go back to shoko, then,” he chirps. bubbly and graceful, giddy and playful. always so lovely. ”gotta make sure she stays out of trouble.”

a chuckle. you mirror his smile. ”of course.”

and with that, your precious best friend makes a move to return to the bar, taking a decisive step away from you. before he can get too far, though, a certain hand reaches out to hold onto his sleeve — keeping him still.

satoru turns around. blinking once, then twice, in confusion; faced with none other than suguru, still slumped against you. a little out of it, sleepy and disoriented, yawning quietly, but his eyes are as clear as ever. caring and sentimental. 

his gaze cuts to the bone of things. it’s something you’ve grown used to.

”thanks, satoru,” he murmurs, letting go of said man’s shirt. the words that spill from his lips are straightforward, a little tactless, but overflowing with earnest appreciation. ”you’re my best friend.”

a moment passes. the stars burn in silence.

satoru blinks.

then he sighs, with what you know is nothing more than feigned annoyance. masking his embarrassment, the same way shoko did, the same way suguru always does. your repressed, beloved little losers. 

”yeah, yeah. i got it,” he pats suguru’s shoulder, once, twice. not looking at him. ”you’re such a sap, you know that? geez.”

a grin crawls up to rest on your lips, fresh mischief blooming in your eyes. ”not gonna call him your best friend back?” you tease, a soft tilt of your head.

satoru gives you a glare, playful, one you can’t physically see from behind his shades but still somehow sense. ”don’t add fuel to the fire,” he grins, with a halfhearted flick to your forehead.

before you can bicker further, suguru yawns, loudly, closing his eyes and nuzzling into you. you share an amused look with satoru, until he shakes his head fondly.

”take care of him, alright?”

”i will. you guys have fun!”

and at last, satoru turns on his heel, coupled with a smile and a lazy wave. but suguru calls out to him once more, unwilling to part ways without saying his piece. so sentimental, so loving it comes to him like breathing.

”bye-bye, satoru,” he slurs, voice loud enough for the entire street to hear, tired and honest. raising his arm in a lazy wave. ”i love you!”

”go home already!” satoru shouts, descending down the steps with a flush to his cheeks that you’ll tease him for later. his soft laughter is carried away by the breeze, sweet and saccharine.

(satoru will always be satoru. you know that he loves suguru back, even if he doesn’t want to say it out loud.)

with a faint chuckle, melting into the summer air, you tug on suguru’s arm. ”alright,” you chirp, looking up at him. ”let’s go!”

he seems a little more awake now, at least, trying to match your steps. meanwhile, you do what you can to support his weight; he’s stumbling a bit, but you don’t mind. if anything, his weight is a comfort, your arms linked together like a lucky charm. a safe harbour.

suguru is acting kind of like a big puppy, gazing at you with hearts in his eyes. a little meek, clinging to you, trailing after you pliantly. he’s a little dizzy, still, and he needs you to get back home in one piece. it makes you puff out your chest, stand up straighter. makes you feel protective of your 6’2 boyfriend, all toned muscle and broad shoulders, the personification of scary dog privilege. but he needs you right now.

a soft bout of laughter spills into the air, as you try to ignore his heavy stare. it’s impossible, though — so you turn your gaze to meet his own, and he practically glows under the sound of your giggles, that cheeky smile you’re wearing. ”you okay, suguru?”

his eyes soften. silently, he runs a thumb over the knots of your knuckle, smoothing down your skin, thick fingers intertwined with yours. 

he looks deep into your eyes, and a soft hum of affirmation buzzes in his throat. 

”i’m just so happy,” he grins, with a sincerity that has your heart doing flips inside your ribcage. it flutters, flutters, flutters, in the wake of his unbridled joy. it buzzes like it wants to break out.

suguru has this dreamy look on his face, one you can do nothing but admire, painted over with fluorescent moonlight and pure summer bliss. one that reminds you a little of high school rooftops, midnight road trips, what it means to be in love.

you nudge him, softly, with the arm that’s tangled up in his own. tilting your head, teasing words on the tip of your tongue. ”you know, i never took you for a sappy drunk.”

suguru's only response is a cute little mmrn, steps heavy as he leans on you for support. trying his best to carry himself, not wanting to inconvenience you, but it’s just a little tough. especially when he feels this soft, this grateful — this blessed.

a giddy, dreamy smile tugs at his lips. his amber gaze travels up, towards the little pale dots of star clusters all across the night sky, gleaming like milk poured over rich coffee. then he exhales; a soft, blissful little sound. ”i’m so lucky.”

a moment passes, silently. in the distance, cicadas buzz. with a patient smile, you admire him, the reflection of starlight in his eyes. suguru has this forlorn look, etched into his expression, like he’s seeing something that isn’t quite there.

”i have satoru and shoko…” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear. as if he’s tasting the words on his tongue, as if he can’t quite believe them himself. that’s how lucky he feels, sometimes.

a nod. ”they love you a bunch, you know?”

(they do. they’re both horrible at saying it out loud, but you know they do. you know that they love suguru, just as much as he loves them, even if none of them are good at putting it into words. perhaps they don’t really even need to, in the first place.)

suguru mirrors the soft nod of your head, bangs falling over his eyes as he does. ”and i love them, too.” his smile grows. ”they’re my best friends.”

absently, you reach a hand out, brushing away the strands of hair obscuring his vision. and suguru stirs, his gaze shifting until it falls on you. like a moth to a flame. there’s something indescribable in his eyes, soft and heavy and tender and true.

”— and i have you.”

a stutter of your heartbeat, a jolt throughout your chest. his stare almost burns, but you can’t avert your gaze — suguru looks positively lovesick. admiring you with a dreamy gaze, as if he can’t believe you’re real. 

he reaches a hand out; cradling your face with one big palm, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your skin so very gently. smearing his fondness from your jaw to your cheekbone, so loving your breath hitches in the back of your throat. 

a soft, content sigh spills into the air, like a prayer that doesn’t need any words. his smile is serene.

”my angel.” 

as the words fall, that peaceful smile of his changes shape, shifting into a big, giddy grin. it lights up his whole face. a chuckle leaves his lips, content and delighted. ”i’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

and for a moment, you fear that your heart will stop beating entirely. frozen, listening to the lullaby of your heartbeat resounding in your ears. 

suguru has always been frighteningly good at flustering you — but isn’t this a little unfair? you clear your throat, hoping to regain some composure. it’s tough, though. your words could never measure up to his, could never flow as freely, but they’re honest. wholly and thoroughly. and maybe that’s enough. 

”we’re the luckiest in the world, too, then,” you echo, smiling, words barely above a whisper. willing yourself to meet his gaze. ”since we have you.”

suguru looks into your eyes. there’s starlight inside them, he thinks, shining brightly, gleaming in the dark. with the hazy filter of intoxication clouding his mind, it’s all he can think. you’re his northern star, his lighthouse. his one and only saving grace.

(you’re so, so pretty.)

a pause. after a silent moment, spent etching your features into his retinas, suguru tilts his head. his expression is unreadable.

— he boops your nose.

you blink. once, twice, caught entirely off guard; and suguru giggles. soft, giddy little breaths falling from his lips like marbles, strewn over the sand of a warm beach. his eyes are crinkled at the edges, and his smile is sweet, meeting your surprised gaze with a honeyed coo. ”you’re so cute, baby.”

silence. you look up at him. 

then you sigh, exasperated, more flustered than you’d like to admit. god. okay, he’s really out of it. for some reason, you still thought you could get a good one-liner in, but of course he had to ruin that by being a little tease.

you grab onto his bicep. gaze fixed straight ahead, giving it a tug. your steps are more decisive now, and suguru follows you happily. ”alright, alright. c’mon,” you beckon, slightly gruff. ”we’re almost there.”

when you finally reach the familiar front door of your apartment, you exhale a deep sigh, laced with pure relief. limbs tired from dragging suguru up the stairs, mind muddled and sleepy and senses practically engulfed by a man still clinging to you like his life depends on it.

after fumbling with your keys and hearing the click of the lock, you take a victorious step over the threshold, and a familiar scent greets you. soothing, comforting, a blend between fresh laundry and leftover curry and blooming hydrangeas. filling your senses with a fervent kind of bliss. of course, suguru’s does the same; intimately intertwined with the scent of home. that everlasting, never-changing blend. 

with him clinging to you like this, it’s almost suffocating — but you truly don’t mind. suguru’s warm, and sweet, and being close to him like this makes you feel at peace. his hands rest on your hips, his jaw on your shoulder, and he adamantly refuses to let go of you for even a second. it’d be annoying if he wasn’t so cute, if he wasn’t suguru geto, if you weren’t so horrendously weak for him.

what you don’t know is that suguru has an agenda. one that isn’t just i want to hug the love of my life, although partially that as well. suguru has a plan, one he’s been absentmindedly dreaming of for the past five minutes; he’s a man on a mission.

but he’s patient. always has been, always for you. so he waits, and waits, for you to hang his jacket up, for you to kick your shoes off your feet. and when you’re finally, finally finished, suguru leans in to kiss you.

— you block his mouth with the palm of your hand.

a moment passes. silent, almost tense. in his stupor, suguru’s mind can’t quite seem to comprehend the situation before him; he doesn’t understand why he isn’t pressing a kiss to your lips, right now, why he’s kissing the skin of your palm. he doesn’t understand why you look so troubled, a faint guilt simmering in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand.

all he can do is blink, dumbly, surprised. a question written on his features clear as day. 

”well, it’s just…” you sputter, sheepishly. avoiding his gaze, a little guilty. ”you know. since you’ve been drinking, and all…”

and it hurts, you think. it hurts a lot more than it should. it hurts to reject him, hurts to see the way he deflates at your clarification. like a big kicked puppy. like you just threatened to throw him out into the street.

suguru removes your hand, gently, holding it in his own as he speaks. those amber eyes are downcast, and a soft pout rests on his lips. the sight alone feels like a dagger to your chest.

”but…” he frowns, voice awfully meek. he looks so sad. ”i wanna kiss you…”

a soft sigh leaves your lips, before you can think to hold it in. oh, he’s being so unfair. guilt clings to your mind, an itch you yearn to scratch, and all you want is to kiss his pout away. but you really, really don’t want to kiss his alcohol-soaked lips.

so you settle for the second best option.

”’m sorry, sugu,” you coo, reaching a hand out to cradle his cheek. he leans into your touch, still pouting, and you tug a little at his bottom lip. wasting no time in closing the narrow distance between you.

the kisses you press against his skin are soft. peppering kisses all across his face; ghosting your lips along his jaw, trailing towards his cheekbones, and settling on his forehead. tiny little pecks, wherever you can reach. your voice is soft, muffled into his skin between butterfly kisses. ”tomorrow, okay?” 

and suguru seems to brighten up a little, melting under the contact, exhaling in pure bliss. he fervently returns the treatment, planting open mouthed kisses all over your face, respecting your wishes and avoiding your lips. they’re a little sloppy, but you don’t mind.

it does make you a little flustered, though. with his palms cradling your face, engulfing you, there’s nothing you can do except drown in his affection, the love he showers you with. it tickles — and suguru’s smile only grows, at the sound of your soft giggles. his cheeks are starting to hurt.

the state he’s in is just a little bit hazy. despite his initial dejection, he no longer minds that he can’t feel your lips against his, disappointment warded off by your smile and laughter alone. he thinks you’re so, so cute, and all he wants is to kiss you forever. 

but you have other plans.

and before you know it, you’re both curled up in bed, limbs all tangled up beneath the blankets, bodies pressed together as suguru cages you in. he squeezes you tightly, hugging you close, practically melting into you. usually, it’d be so easy to fall asleep like this. with suguru cradling you, covering your body with his own, warm and safe. he’s like a furnace. 

but right now, it’s a little tough. you’re kept awake by open mouthed, ticklish kisses pressed against your skin, supplied by the love of your life. it’s sweet, but he’s being far too distracting — as soon as your consciousness begins to fade into the fuzzy realm of sleep, he leaves a sloppy kiss against your collarbone, and you’re jolted awake once more. 

”suguuu,” you whine, dragging his name out with childish inclination. ”we need to sleep…”  

”sorry,” he only murmurs, muffled into your skin. he doesn’t stop, though, planting a wet smooch on your cheek, and then another. you squirm a little in his hold, and he emits a shaky breath. ”jus’ love you so much…”

suguru knows that he needs to stop. he knows that both of you need to sleep, that you need to rest up. that he needs to recover from the intoxicated state he’s fully aware that he’s in — but he just can’t seem to follow through with it. every cell in his body burns with a certain desire, a need to shower you in love, and it’s unendurable. with every kiss, every giggle he manages to pull from your lips, suguru’s heart fills up just a little more. 

your presence surrounds him, like a weighted blanket, and he clings to it with a desperation he never knew before you. 

in the midst of his feverish consciousness, you’re all his muddled mind can think about. the way you fit together with him like a puzzle piece, like he was formed in the shape of someone meant to hold you. like you were formed in the shape of his embrace. with you pressed up against him, limbs tangled with his, everything feels so right.

but it’s so overwhelming. 

you’re so, so close, so close he’s practically engulfed by your scent, your touch, everything that makes his heart burn with devotion. it’s beating so viscerally in his ribcage, stirring the protective instinct inside him; he just wants you to stay close, by his side, wants to keep you safe and happy. wants to make you feel loved. 

suguru’s heart feels wet and raw and bare, fully exposed for you to see. beating just for you.

with the alcohol inside his veins, and the nostalgia of the summer evening on his mind, everything weighs on him just a little too heavily. everything feels just a little too much. every sensation, every emotion, every sappy thought. all of it together is almost too much for him to handle.

all he can think of is you. how lucky he is, to have met you, to have gotten to know you. how much you’ve changed him, changed him for the better, how much of him is directly tied to your existence.

suguru never truly appreciated his name until you came into his life. it was always no more than a simple fact, a gift from his parents that he hadn’t asked for. something natural, that he didn’t question, didn’t think about. 

but you say his name with such warmth.

he wants to hear you say it, over and over again, forever. suguru — in that sweet, lovely voice of yours. better yet, just sugu, a cutesy, silly nickname he could never bring himself to actually hate. he just wants to hear you call out to him, with that warmth of yours, the one that never fails to soothe him. no matter how tired he is, how stressed. how much everything else weighs down on him. 

at the end of the day, he’s simply your sugu. and that’s all he ever really wants to be.

with a hazy filter clouding his senses, coaxing him into closing his eyes, suguru should give in. he should fall asleep, let you fall asleep. but he can’t bring himself to stop thinking about it; he just loves you so wholly. who you are, what you do. as an equal, an individual, a little galaxy tucked into a body made of flesh and blood. no matter what you’re doing, no matter where you are. 

and right now, you’re here, with him. curled up in bed, in your shared apartment, inhaling the same air, exhaling at the same time. by his side, when you could be anywhere else in the world.

his heart is yours. that’s all suguru can bring himself to think, the only coherent thought he can cling to and echo in his head. his heart is yours. forever and ever. 

he makes no attempt to stop the tears from pooling in his eyes, even as he feels them cling to his lashes, even as his breathing clogs up in the back of his throat. they’re proof of his devotion, his carefully nurtured love. growing over the years, into something almost sacred, a kind of faith. something so fervent he wouldn’t dare deny himself of feeling it.

he can’t hold in a faint sniffle, either, just barely audible. one that breaks your heart in two. it aches, aches, aches. suguru is gazing at you with glassy eyes, a sight you aren’t used to seeing — but he also looks so genuinely glad. his tears aren’t ones of sadness. you know, because you know him. 

”aw, honey…” you coo, the pads of your fingers reaching out to cradle his cheek. despite your efforts, your voice wavers when you speak, little more than a whisper. ”don’t cry... you’ll make me cry, too.”

suguru places his larger palm over yours, choking on another sniffle. the sight renders you completely helpless — you want so desperately to stop his tears from falling, but a part of you is too touched to speak. too mesmerized by how beautiful he is, translucent tears illuminated by softly flickering moonrays, lashes glimmering like shooting stars.

all you can do is smooth a thumb right under his eye, wiping away a stray tear with enough tenderness to stitch his heart back together. suguru emits a shaky breath.

”’m sorry,” he sniffles, closing his eyes. nuzzling into the crook of your neck. ”i’m just so happy… love you so much… you mean so, so much to me, i…”

an exhale, a little breathless, tears soaking through the material of the shirt you’re wearing. his shirt. that realization makes him cry even more, a shuddering breath that shatters like glass when it drops from his tongue. 

and then, in a voice so quiet you barely hear it, a soft whisper worth a million words:

”i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

and it hurts. your heart aches so sincerely, thorns curling around your ribcage, because suguru is crying, and he’s telling you all this. with such an honest intonation that you don’t dare doubt him, even for a second. heavy thumps of blood rush through your veins; he’s still clinging to you, sniffling into your neck, and you’re so in love with him that you almost can’t comprehend it.

all you can do is press a kiss to his shoulder, chaste and tender, and hug him just a little tighter. echoing his words, in earnest, desperately trying to keep your voice from breaking apart. ”i love you, too. more than anything.” a sigh, full of wonder. little butterfly kisses scattered across the expanse of his neck. ”you mean the world to me. honestly.”

with a smile against his skin, you hope so tenderly that the soft kisses will comfort him, will stop the tears from falling. 

”my sweet boy,” you murmur, lovingly, because he is. the sweetest boy you’ll ever know. suguru shudders when you press your lips against his jaw. ”i’m so, so lucky.”

with the combined efforts of your kisses, the alcohol slumbering inside his veins, and the tears running down his cheeks, suguru begins to feel awfully tired. sinking into sleep’s embrace, like a sailor lost at sea. comforted by the glimmer of a lighthouse, just out of reach.

everything feels right. he’s safe, and happy, and in love. so hopelessly, blissfully in love.

the exhaustion creeps up on him, tidal waves embracing a shore, beckoning him into closing his weary eyes. a yawn leaves his lips, and he shifts a little in your hold. you’re smoothing down the back of his head, almost protectively, and sleep is only a flicker away for the both of you. with the last of his strength, suguru snuggles just a little further into you, nose pressed up against your neck, close enough that he feels the flutter of your heartbeat. 

”wanna be with you forever,” he murmurs, sleepily, stifling another bout of yawns. his smile is sweet and dreamy. ”gonna marry you one day…”

a moment passes.

for a second, you think your heart does actually cease beating entirely.

swallowing a gulp, you allow yourself the luxury of an inhale — and fresh air fills your lungs. grounding. all you can hear is the rapid beating of your own heart, heavy thumps reverberating in your ears. warmth flows through your entire body.

marry.

the word is spoken so casually, so sincerely, as if he’s said it countless times before. as if he’s repeated it, over and over again in his mind, just to get used to the idea. as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. marriage. something so foreign, so scary, enough to send shivers down every narrow of your skeleton. such a large step to take. 

(but suguru says it with such tenderness.)

”… okay,” you whisper, at last. breathless. ”i’ll be waiting, then.”

there’s nothing else to say. you don’t know if suguru is even conscious enough to hear you, let alone understand the full weight of your words, of his own words. but you don’t mind. 

a soft smile lingers on your lips, as you stroke his hair, mind hazy and limbs heavy. nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head, full of affection. dripping from your hands down to the column on his throat, through his windpipe, down to his heart.

”goodnight, sugu.” you press a kiss to his messy hair, tender and chaste. ”i love you.”

an incoherent mutter leaves his lips, in response, one you can’t quite make out — but you don’t need to. because you already know what it means, in the same way you know that the sky is blue.

(an echo buried deep within his subconscious, voiced without effort, as easy as breathing.

i love you, too.)

the sizzling of a pan and the whirring of a coffee machine form a beautiful morning symphony, bouncing off the walls of your kitchen. to your ears, and your still sleepy brain, it’s a soothing sound — coaxing soft little melodic hums from the depths of your throat.

with such a tantalizing aroma in the air, a blend between espresso and pancake batter, you can’t help but buzz with a mellow, groggy kind of joy.

honestly, you're beginning to understand suguru’s fondness for the morning hours. waking up to his soft snores and content expression was more than enough to give you the energy you needed to get out of bed; all sleepy and relaxed and pretty, with hazy morning sunrays kissing up his bare skin, caressing his messy bedhead. 

a rare sight, awfully precious. a part of you wanted to stay in bed and admire him all morning, but the thought of taking care of him coaxed you into leaving. it’s the least you could do, really — after seeing him so sincere, so open and vulnerable. 

hopefully, his headache won’t be too brutal when he wakes up. you left some hangover pills on the nightstand, courtesy of shoko’s advice: just get him ibuprofen and coffee. works like a charm. are you a little worried about her nonchalance? maybe. but you trust her judgement. they’re a handful, but you love them — even when they’re drunk or hungover. 

which is why you’re standing in the kitchen, engulfed by the morning sunlight, in front of a sizzling pan. trying your very best not to burn the pancakes you’re making, patiently waiting for the coffee to be done. 

in your blissful stupor, caught up with thoughts of suguru and breakfast and forevers, you don’t notice another presence coming up behind you.

two arms wrap around your waist, and a jaw attaches itself to the curve of your shoulder. you startle, a little, jolting at the contact — but then you recognize that telltale scent, the familiar weight of his arms, and immediately melt into the embrace.

suguru breathes out a raspy chuckle, amused at your surprise. 

a sigh slips from your lips, content. ”good morning,” you hum, placing the palm of your hand on his forearm. suguru shifts a little, getting more comfortable as he leans against you. tenderly, not too much weight. he’s delicate like that.

”g’morning,” he rasps, leftover sleep clinging to the syllables. the usual smoothness of his voice is coupled with a deep, rough kind of tilt, one that always accompanies it in the morning. your heartbeat picks up, silently.

suguru smiles. dreamy, giddy, because you just looked so pretty, in the morning light, hair still a tad messy. humming happily, swaying slightly side to side. so irresistible. he’s beginning to understand why you love sleeping in so much; getting to wrap his arms around you like this, instead of the other way around, doesn’t feel bad at all.

he squeezes you just a little tighter, hoping it’ll convey his gratitude. there are holes in his memory, last night no more than a blurry sequence of still images, but some bits and pieces remain intact. he remembers getting drunk in a way he hasn’t since he made that bet with satoru back in high school — and he remembers that you were there to take care of him.

a smile tugs at his lips. a little giddy, butterflies erupting in his chest. he’s so damn lucky.

”thanks for taking care of me yesterday, sweetheart.”

a hum. you smile, sheepishly, patting his arm. ”don’t need to thank me for that. how do you feel?”

suguru smiles. you feel it, against your skin, a chaste kiss on your neck. ”better.”

the low purring of the coffee machine has stopped, but the sizzling of the pan remains. from beyond the opened windows, you can hear the chirping of cicadas, melodic and serene. singing a summery tune. both of you soak in the preciousness of the moment, the fragile silence, before suguru breaks it.

”everything from last night is kinda fuzzy,” he admits, clearing his throat. just a tad sheepish. you simply hum, a low noise of acknowledgement, and he continues. ”i don’t really remember anything… ’m sorry, baby. i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

your lips curl up into a tiny smile. such a sweetheart — always worrying about you. always so caring and attentive. eager to reassure him, you smooth over the skin of his arm with your thumb. ”not at all.”

then you’re taking a couple steps back, moving from the stove, and suguru follows. you turn yourself around to meet his gaze, his arms still attached to your waist, a comforting weight.

a grin blooms on your lips, a little teasing, and a flicker of mischief shines in your eyes. ”you were cute, you know.”

suguru blinks, before emitting a low chuckle. a raspy little thing. ”was i?” he drawls, as you brush his bangs away from his face. 

”mhm,” you chirp, eyes crinkled as they meet his own. you just can’t help but want to tease him, a little bit. just a smidge. ”kept going on and on about how much you love us.”

hands moving to cup his face, you squeeze his cheeks softly. and suguru lets you, too tired to resist, only giving you a lazy raise of his brow. there’s a sense of amusement in his eyes, and something in you knows he likes the attention. your teasing words buzz with endearment, akin to a purr. ”my sweet lil’ sugu.”

all he does is lean into your touch, allowing himself to melt into the tenderness of the physical contact. even as you pull at his cheek, earning you a very gentle pinch to your side. but he lets you have your fun. you’re warm, and sweet, and he’s so in love with you he’d probably let you tug his body around however you please.

still, your words leave him just slightly perplexed. he’s still smiling with half-lidded eyes when he asks you to elaborate, basking in the feeling of your thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. ”us?”

your grin widens, by a tad, something deeply amused glimmering in the depths of your iris. ”yep,” you answer, popping the p. for some reason, suguru dreads the teasing edge to your voice. ”me, and shoko, and satoru.”

a moment passes. he stiffens, for a second or two, mind processing the words. then he groans, softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

it makes you laugh, soft and amused, and he can’t help but smile along. despite the dreadful realization you present him with. no wonder he was met with so many notifications when he tapped at the screen of his phone — he didn’t read through any of them, but now he’s apprehensive to do so at all. shoko and satoru can be so goddamn obnoxious when they feel as if they have blackmail on him.

he can see it now, in his mind’s eye; shoko nagging him to run her errands, satoru reminding him of his words every time they have a slight disagreement. 

(grab me a coffee. three shots of espresso, one cube of sugar. got it?)

slacker.

(we both know i’m right. don’t be so stubborn, suguru! it’s okay to be wrong sometimes.)

asshole.

(c’mon. you said you loved me, right?

so mean. and here i thought you loved me!)

idiots.

(he does love them. more than anything. even when they’re being absolutely insufferable.)

suguru just sighs, deep and fatigued, already anticipating his doom. ”they’re never gonna let me live it down, are they?”

a giggle slips from your lips, and his heart flutters helplessly. ”probably not. my condolences.”

another sigh. it only makes your smile widen. there’s something awfully delighted, in your eyes, as you cradle his face in your hands. ”well, i thought you were very sweet!”

”yeah, yeah…” he mutters, vaguely amused. placing one of his large palms over your hand, where it rests on his cheek. ”i won’t be doing that again anytime soon.”

a chuckles bubbles up from within your throat. ”aww,” you pout, giving way to a teasing grin. ”that’s a shame. i wanted to hear you talk about how much you love me again.”

suguru blinks. 

then he smiles. a very particular smile, characteristic, one you’ve come to associate solely with him. resting somewhere in the intersection between a soft grin and a teasing smirk. a flicker of mischief shines in his eyes, and you realize your mistake.

you can tease suguru all you want; but he'll always turn the tables on you, at the end of the day.

”oh?” he chuckles, fondly, thumb smoothing over the lines of your hand. his eyes gleam, looking straight into yours, shining with something mildly devilish. ”i don’t need to get drunk to tell you that, baby.”

in a smooth motion, one you can’t help but silently envy, suguru intertwines his fingers with yours and brings your hand to his lips. he never once breaks eye contact, gaze heavy as he basks in your flustered expression, planting a soft kiss against your knuckle. reverent.

”i love you. more than anything,” he purrs, lips still lingering on your skin. warm enough to burn. ”you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

a pause. heat crawls up your spine, and a flush rises to your cheeks. you couldn’t stop it if you tried.

”my everything,” he continues, intent on flustering you as much as humanly possible. voice low and smooth, honeyed and deep, and worst of all; terribly earnest. lips trailing over your knuckles, against every knot, so soft that you barely feel it. ”my entire world.”

”okay, okay!” you sputter, an embarrassed hue to your cheeks, your gaze landing on the windowpane to your right. his stare is just too heavy, too deeply in love. overwhelming. ”point taken. nevermind.”

suguru laughs, genuine and full. warm and amused, deep and real, and you catch yourself thinking that you don’t want to go a single day without hearing it. even if it’s at your own expense.

a coo rests on his the tip of his tongue, but he bites it back, opting to lean forward instead. he trails the pads of his fingers along your jaw, touch like a butterfly, lifting your chin up ever so slightly. then he closes the distance between you. 

in your throat, your breath hitches.

— but he doesn’t kiss you. suguru stops right in front of your lips, so close you can feel his breath on your skin, taking a moment to simply look into your eyes. and despite how flustered the close proximity makes you, you can’t bring yourself to look away. heart fluttering madly, a string of staccatos against your parted ribs.

a tilt of his head. amber eyes gleaming, crinkled and fond. ”can i kiss you, now?” he asks, grinning softly. hand smoothing down your hip, big and warm, teasing. ”i made sure to brush away all the alcohol. or do you still not want to?”

you pause. 

”hey, what happened to not remembering anything?” you pout, narrowing your eyes. the corner of suguru’s bottom lip twitches upwards.

but he only shrugs, feigning nonchalance, a playful glint in his eyes. ”guess i was just that disappointed.”

a giggle flows from your lips. he drinks it in, gazing at you with pure contentment.

”alright, alright... c’mere,” you coo, smile honeyed and sweet. tracing your fingertips along his jaw, brushing a silky strand of hair behind his ear. you take in the sight of him, meeting his lovesick gaze. he squeezes at your hips softly, a little impatient — so you finally lean in.

suguru’s lips are warm, when they meet yours. they taste like sunlight, devoid of any alcoholic flavour, just like he so kindly assured you of. and it’s a little amusing, the thought of him in front of the bathroom sink — desperately scrubbing his teeth, just to get his kissing privileges back. such a dork. 

he’s your dork, though.

suguru sighs into the kiss, smiling giddily, satisfied at last. a sound you can’t help but mirror. he deepens it, ever so slightly, fingers squeezing gently at the plush of your waist. a hum of approval buzzes in your throat, and his smile only grows.

when he pulls away, that smile is all you can see, along with the ever so slight flush to his cheeks. a hint of peach dusting his skin, framed by the sunrays caressing his jaw, highlighting his handsome features. breathtaking. 

before you have a chance to protest, he’s leaning in again, to press one more chaste kiss to your lips. your heartbeat picks up.

everything finally feels just right.

the warmth of the sizzling pan, the fragrance of freshly made coffee and now-burnt pancakes. the light of the morning sun, scattered across the open space of your apartment, splotches of life painting everything in a heavenly glow. the love in the air, all soft and light and comfortable.

domestic bliss. with suguru, who never seems to change, no matter how many years go by. if you could live in this moment for the rest of your life, forever and ever, you’re sure you’d die happy.

and wow, is that a heavy word. forever. 

(but suguru makes it feel so very, very light.)

forever feels a lot more real, like this. cradled in the midst of a drowsy morning, bumping elbows with the man you love most, after getting to take care of him in his most vulnerable state. accepting every part of him, and having him accept you just as fervently. 

just this moment alone is worth far more than you could ever comprehend. 

suguru, with his warm hands, his familiar embrace. your shared laughter, bouncing off the walls of the kitchen as you try in vain to save your scorched pancakes. and his smile, his fervent devotion, coaxing him into eating them even though they’re burnt at the edges and don’t taste even a quarter as good as his. because you made them, for him, and that makes them taste sweeter than anything.

you stare at him, from across the table, admiring the sight you’ve grown so used to; suguru, with his slightly tousled hair, mug in hand and smile painted on his handsome face. drowned in sunlight, pink petals flitting in through the opened window. you don’t want a single day to ever pass without you seeing this. what does that mean, exactly? you think you know. 

it means forever.

(forever, forever, forever. what a pretty word.)

marriage. you think of it, again, let it linger in the depths of your skull, bounce around until you grow just a little more used to it. and it’s a scary thought, for sure. a terrifying thought, even, something so foreign that it makes you nervous. but you truly wouldn’t mind doing this forever — not one bit. not if it’s with him.

and, unbeknownst to you, maybe that promise of forever isn’t all that far off.

maybe it’s only a couple rooms away, hidden within the depths of a certain drawer, until suguru finally gets the courage to bring it out. and maybe, just maybe — that day isn’t all that far off, either.

(suguru smiles at you, from across the table. he thinks you look ethereal, sipping from your morning coffee, blinking tiredly. so sweet and angelic.

all he can think of is forever.)

[httpknjoon]

santa, tell me | myg

plot | that time in december where popstar!yn and bassist!yoongi agreed to do something.

w.c | 3.3K

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | fluff, slight angst, enemies to lovers

note | thank you for the lovely @marblemoonstones for sending this request. sorry it took so long. i hope you'll love it.

main masterlist | series masterlist | want to request?

cont. of DAY 64 of Love Is... On Tour

"You didn't think that was all, right?"

Fans cheered for the last time, assuming that you just played your last song for tonight. But suddenly, a familiar tune plays in the whole arena. They cheered as the lights slowly turned up. The live band plays a prolonged intro to your famous holiday song. This time, Yoongi is back on his spot with the band, playing his guitar. You are now sitting on the throne with your candy cane.

"Alright, I need everyone to be honest right now. I have to ask y'all something." you begin, standing up. "What's your Christmas wishes to Santa?"

The fans from different sides of the arena shouted their individual wishes one by one. You walked to various parts of the stage to hear out some of their answers. As expected, you hear funny and crazy wishes.

A big dick!

"A what?!" you stopped at one's answer, eyes widened for a second.

The band and some members of the audience, who also heard that, laughed.

"I mean, that's a little naughty. But I'm sure Santa won't mind that one. List that down!" you turned your head to Yoongi, still in his Santa Claus suit. He played along, nodding his head with a thumbs up.

You were about to continue your fan interactions when you spoke again, "Oh, make that two! She isn't the only one wishing for that tonight."

The camera caught your playful wink, making your fans laugh and cheer. If a non-fan is in your show tonight, they will find your humor a little too sexual. Just like some people online who have big opinions about you and your ongoing tour, where a lot of suggestive stuff happens. But your latest album literally had a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Content" sticker on it when it was released since some of your songs were, again, sexual and included adult words. So, it is totally expected of you to have that kind of joke in you. And gladly, your fans were on the same wavelength.

My ex!

"Oh, your ex?" You repeated that one answer. You spotted that fan nodding. "Well... That's... a waste of a wish."

Your fans laughed, knowing that there was something behind your statement.

"An ex is an ex for a reason, love. Had to learn that in a very obvious way." You chuckled at your own mocking comment. "Anyway, any more wishes that Santa can list down?"

From the left side of the stage, you see a cardboard sign with a big statement written on it. Cute doodles related to Christmas and a few cutout pictures of you were added to the sign.

You read slowly, "We... want.. a... Christmas album?"

The arena was filled with cheers after you read that, agreeing to it. Your heart skipped with that reaction. Almost everyone in the venue knows that there is an ongoing rumor of you releasing one. And you don't where that came from but it was true.

It has been so long since you released a holiday-themed song. You only had one or two while a couple have been leaked before. But currently, you already have a collection of lyrics written in your notebook. But you need a little help with some melodies. With December already starting, you are now unsure if you should even release it.

"I don't know about that. Feels a little late to release that right now," you said, making your fans react with a loud boo.

It's only the first week of December!

Someone screamed so loud and clear, it was audible in the whole arena. Everyone agreed and cheered your name over and over again as a way to encourage you.

"We'll see about that." you smiled cheekily. "We'll see if Santa is listening to everyone's Christmas wishes tonight. Because for me, I feel like Santa and I don't really get along that much."

Yoongi hears his friends laugh next to him. He ignores them, waiting for how you will going to introduce this next song.

"But wasn't I a good girl this year, Santa?"

Unexpectedly, you turned to him for an answer. Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as a reply, making you roll your eyes. He tried not to smile, knowing that he successfully countered your attempt to get a reaction from him.

"See?" you looked back at your audience. "Anyway, I need to make sure Santa will hear my wishes tonight. So can you all sing with me for this last song?"

You smiled as the fans replied with a very loud and clear yes. Nodding to the band, they began playing louder and you started to sing,

"Santa, tell me if you're really there..."

Your hair bounced to the rhythm as you danced along with your dancers. It was your official last song of the night after an hour and a half of songs and dance. But you still performed like it was just the start of the night.

"True love, that he thinks of..."

Just before the second pre-chorus ends, you strut down the long way to the wider stage where the band performs. You did not rehearse anything with Yoongi to this song since Santa did not plan to do anything in it. But Santa is here anyway, why waste his presence?

"Santa, tell me if you're really there. Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year..."

As expected, Yoongi knew he was your target. You stood next to him, leaning your back to his side, while he played the guitar. You turned to him and poked him to get his attention like you were really talking to Santa.

"Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like, oh-ooh-oh..."

Yoongi finally looked at you when you turned around, showing off the fluffy white bow Paul had sewn behind your red dress. It took your fans a few more seconds to realize that you modified some lyrics the song had years ago.

"Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-ooh-oh..."

Singing the line, you dropped down quickly and popped back up. You looked over your shoulder, immediately winking at the first set of eyes you met. He looked away, making you laugh while still singing. Twitter will definitely eat up this short interaction.

"But I don't want a new broken heart. This year, I've got to be smart. Oh, baby..."

You strut joyfully all over the stage, swaying your hips to the song, while you sing some vocal runs. White confetti, mixed with red heart-shaped ones, began falling all over the arena as the song and show neared its end. Some fans also began throwing their small gifts on the stage.

"If you won't be, if you won't be here- Thank you all so much for coming tonight! Have a happy holiday!"

You let the background vocals sing in the background as you waved goodbye. As the lights dimmed down, you blew kisses on the cameras. The band freestyles, but remains in tune with the song.

"Do you think I can still release a holiday EP before we take a break?"

On your way back to the hotel, half an hour after the show, you asked Cal. The idea of releasing new Christmas songs excites you and makes you wanna start recording your self-written songs immediately. But with less than two weeks left and a tour happening, you wouldn't want to hassle everyone.

Cal nods, reaching for her phone to look at her Calendar app, which its mostly filled with your agenda than hers, "Yeah, you absolutely can. We can talk to the label about it, so we can get things approved right away. But you are their favorite right now, they'll let you do anything you want."

You laughed at that, shaking your head even though that was true. Your assistant continued, "Just let me know your plans. Like, do you want to do some promotional stuff?"

"Seems nice. Does that Late Night gig still stand?" you asked, referring to a hosting offer you got a few days ago from the producers of a known show.

"Yep, they said they can wait until the day after tomorrow."

"So, I still have two days to finalize?" you asked.

"That's right." Cal replied.

You nodded, leaning on your chair more, forcing it to be your makeshift bed in the meantime. A checklist began forming in your head. You were done in the first step: writing the songs. Now, you just need someone to help you with producing it. Usually, you would call up your friends to collaborate. But with you touring around the country, you know that it will be hard to communicate with them at the same time.

Yoongi produces.

A thought comes into your head, but your eyebrows furrowed. He will not get your ideas like your past producers. You feel like you two have the most different perspectives on things that you will just end up scrapping the whole thing.

But I want to release this EP.

Cal, who was sitting next to you, heard you let out a deep, heavy sigh. Your back was facing her, but she could see you staring at your phone lock screen. After working for you for almost five years, she knows that you are probably just swimming in your thoughts right now. You often do that, especially when making big decisions. Once again, you let out a big sigh, nodding. Cal will not tell you, but her eyebrows raise when she sees you typing a message to someone.

"I told you I was on stage earlier, I can't answer your calls."

Yoongi just arrived in his hotel room when he got a call from Sara, his ex-fiancee. It took him a minute of staring on his phone screen before deciding to accept the call begrudgingly. He has been avoiding to talk with her after they went on separate ways six months ago. But when she reached out to him the other day, he knew he won't be able to avoid her easily. A four-year relationship, with a year of being engaged, is not a light thing to bury down.

"God! This is why I don't want you doing tours. It's harder to communicate with you when you're on a different timezone." She grumbled.

The time difference is not even that much. He thinks she's just making a big deal out of something. Yoongi is on Boston, while she's on LA. He knows she probably just got home from her office just a couple of hours ago.

"Can we just talk about what we need to talk about?" Yoongi sighed, wanting to end the call as soon as he can.

"Fine." Sara sighed. "So, about the house. We decided to just keep it. It will be just easier for me and the baby since we already turned one of the rooms into a nursery."

He hates that it's a "we" decision. That there's another person involved in a conversation that's just meant for him and her.

"I told you to do whatever you want it, just give me my money back. I am not interested to know your plans with it." Yoongi almost spat the words out with disdain.

He is trying to remain calm and mature with everything about their past relationship. But again, it's hard, especially when Sara got herself pregnant with another man, who was her ex, while they are still engaged. Just recalling it back makes his blood boil.

"Yoongi."

She called him in a way that supposed to calm him down. If she did this a year ago, it would have worked. But hearing her calling him with her soft tone, just brings more resentment.

"Sara," Yoongi sighed.

Knowing that she's probably in her last trimester of pregnancy, he hate to bring stress to her and her baby. But man, it's hard to balance gentleness with hurt.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before walking out to the balcony to get some fresh air. He inhaled while feeling the coolness of the weather. He spoke,

"Just... just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"

"Okay." She mumbled. "Yoongi, I'm so—"

He ends the call before she can say that familiar yet useless word again. Turning off his phone, he just rested his arms on the balcony railing while silently gazing on the distant city lights. His sweatshirt is nothing compared to the chilly weather, where light white snow falls on his jet black hair. But he doesn't mind, it makes him feel numb for a moment.

He really needs a distraction right now before he ends up smoking again.

"Hey."

Suddenly, Yoongi hears a small whisper. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked to his right, instantly spotting you in your usual oversized sweatshirt and plaid pajamas. You stood on the balcony next to his. A thin smoke from the cup you were holding slightly covered your face, but Yoongi still recognized that gentle smile that curved your lips.

"'Sup, Santa?"

"So, this is your hot choco."

Cal placed the cup on a small table in your hotel room. You were still a little groggy when you woke up from your quick nap in the van. But now, after choosing to release an EP for the holidays, you want to stay up all night to work on it.

"Thank you, Cal. I love you so much." you told her, hugging her.

She smiled, "I love you too, hon. Don't force yourself to work more tonight."

You hummed in response while choosing more comfortable bottoms to change into. Cal took one last glance at you, making sure you were okay, before saying goodbye. Left alone, you changed into your red plaid pajama pants, perfect for the cozy weather.

Although you only had a few minutes of sleep, you are ready to take more steps for your plan. You messaged Yoongi earlier after getting his number from Fred. But you noticed you got zero replies from the messages you sent.

Maybe you should just talk to him in person?

Or you should just look for another producer?

The second option seems easier than talking with him directly.

You find yourself walking out to the balcony, swimming in your own thoughts while being engulfed by the chilly air. You keep your warm cup in both of your hands while thinking of how you can find someone to work with for your songs.

Back then, you used to have your then-boyfriend around to help you with such things. Theo is a musician too and plays a lot of instruments other than his bass guitar. So, he's been a great and quick support if you have unexpected ideas or melodies in your head. Since he also led the band before, he can easily call them up for a quick record session. But now, things changed. The cheating happened, followed by the break-up. To top it all off, your ex literally brought the band with him (except Noah, who insisted on staying with you) while you still have an ongoing world tour.

Asshole. You cursed in your head again when you remembered that time you were panicking after learning what Theo and the band did. Fucking asshole, you hissed.

Shaking your head, you try to get back on planning. You were sipping in your hot chocolate when you heard someone speaking.

"Just… just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"

You see Yoongi next to your balcony with his phone next to his left ear. Blinking, your eyes observed him quietly. This may be the first time you saw him angry. He sounded aggressive to whoever he was talking with. Although inaudible, you know that the person on the other line was still talking when Yoongi abruptly tapped on his phone, ending. Your lips formed into a small 'o' before you took another sip of your drink.

You probably should have just gone inside and left him alone. Maybe it was just a fight with his fiancee, that he briefly mentioned in one of your quick conversations.

But after seeing him look out the night city view while his fists were clenched, you thought maybe you would let your presence known.

"Hey..." you almost whispered with how you tried to be careful with your tone as if you were stepping on a fragile glass floor.

Even though he was glaring when he turned his head at you, you tried to smile at him. Just a soft, friendly smile. But when the mood felt heavier, you made an attempt to lighten it up.

"'Sup, Santa?"

His tensed shoulders slowly dropped back into a more calm position before he shifted to face you.

"What are you doing there?" he asked, removing the snow on his hair.

"Oh, I didn't know I needed to have reasons to be on my own balcony."

You don't know why but that was the first sentence you thought of, but did not think through yet you let it slip out your mouth. It sounded defensive like you were picking a fight again. Tired of starting another dumb fight with you for today, Yoongi rolled his eyes and was ready to go back to his room.

"Wait! Wait I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that." you stopped him, spewing out your apologies. Fuck, you didn't know you can be this bad in handling such moments like this.

"I actually want to ask if you have checked your messages?" you asked, changing the topic with the idea on the top of your head.

He squints at you, "Why?"

"Uh... I actually sent you a text earlier," you replied, scratching the back of your head.

"Again, why?" he asked one more time, sounding more uninterested. Even though, he was already wondering why would you message him and how you even got his number.

"Can't you just check your phone right now?" you asked.

Seeing you having trouble saying whatever you texted him made Yoongi even more curious about what you texted him. He shook his head at you.

"Actually, I can't." He tried not to smile when he noticed your nostrils flaring. "So can you tell me what you texted me?"

Your chest rosed when you exhaled heavily, aware of what he was doing. You were finishing the chocolate in your cup when Yoongi clicked his tongue,

"Well, I think I should go-"

"Yoongi, hi! This is YN. Got your number from Noah. I was wondering if we could collaborate on something that I'm planning to release this holiday season. Please, let me know if you're interested. x YN." you spoke so quickly yet clearly, reciting the exact text message you sent him before. You had it memorized because you kept reading it earlier while waiting for his reply, biting your nails. "Is that good?!"

Your irritation simmered down when you saw Yoongi biting his lower lip, stopping himself from smiling. But he already is.

"A little too fast for my liking. But, okay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay?" you asked for clarification.

"Okay, I'll be your producer," he answered.

Even though you won't show it, Yoongi noticed you smiling before behind your cup. And yes, you know your cup was already empty. But you hate to give Yoongi more satisfaction after he made you recite your message to him.

"Can we start tomorrow?" you asked.

"Sure, come to my room."

You leaned forward with lines in between your brows, "Excuse me, what?"

"What? I already have my stuff set up here. I don't want to move again." he explained before smirking. "What were you thinking, YN?!"

Feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks and ears, you turned away, "Ugh, whatever. Let's just text."

"But my phone is turned off!" Yoongi teased you as you walked inside your room.

"Not my problem! Charge it or something. See you tomorrow!" you spoke hurriedly before closing the sliding door.

Yoongi laughed at your flustered reaction, shaking his head.

note | random question... do u guys have any favorite youtube video segments where you would like the series characters to participate in? if yes, feel free to let me know! send me an ask or comment it. but anyway, thank you so much for reading <3

taglist rules

SERIES TAGLIST

@busanbby-jjk @jimingirl95 @treacherqus @jajabro @marnz1990 @ktownshizzle @notarshia @m00njinnie @thelilbutifulthings @tarahardcore

PERMANENT TAGLIST (CLOSED)

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors With Benefits: Part 1 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge (I will be adding more and tag the Masterlist) Thank you @hellishjoel for putting on this contest. It's a lot of fun!

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: Roughly 5000

Warning: Dilfy smut, age gap (23 & 42)

Mid-June, 2024. The first summer back home upon college graduation. You knew there would be an adjustment period and while you didn't necessarily feel unhappy, there was a strangeness that left you with feelings you couldn't quite pinpoint. This was your childhood home, your hometown, your room - but still, somehow it felt foreign.

You hung up the maroon cap and gown that showed off the primary color of Texas A+M, the college where you had spent the last four years studying your ass off to get a degree in criminal justice. At twenty-three years old after spending the last few years in a little off-campus apartment with some friends, you were feeling both aggravated and nostalgic upon returning to your parents' house in the suburbs. They were great and you got along just fine; but the freedoms that had gone along with renting your own place were now reeled in a bit tighter. At the very least you knew your mother would likely stay awake on the nights you were out late. Still, you appreciated how much they cared about you.

You moved to your bedroom window and flung it open to let in some air to get rid of the stuffiness that lingered in the house. Immediately, your eyes landed on a man next door standing behind a grill as smoke filtered up above him in a faint, little cloud. He flipped a burger with a pair of metal tongs and took a sip from what looked like a bottle of beer.

"Hey, honey."

You jumped at your mother's voice as if you'd been caught doing something wrong. "Hey." You pressed your eyebrows together and motioned out the window as she entered the room. "Who's that?"

"Oh, I guess it never came up in conversation," your mother said with a shrug, "That's our new neighbor. He moved in back in January."

You glanced back out the window.

"He’s a bit too old for you,” she teased with a laugh.

You whipped around and made a face. "I'm not... I'm not checking him out. I'm just asking why there's a stranger in the Wilsons' backyard." You smirked and raised your eyebrows, "Maybe if my mother told me things I wouldn't have to play detective."

"Isn't that what you got your degree in criminal justice for?"

You chuckled, knowing she would most certainly outwit you in a verbal battle. "And I'm 23 years old. No one's too old for me anymore."

"Well, in that case I hear they just built a nice, new nursing home down the road with plenty of widowed men. I can drive you there if you'd like."

You let out a hearty laugh. “I’ll pass."

The two of you giggled and your mother continued, "Will you be joining your father and I for dinner tonight? We were thinking of just going to Chili's and then heading to a play at the little theater downtown. The kids are putting on Grease."

You smiled as your phone vibrated with a text from your best friend. "It's Holly."

"So, I guess the answer is going to be no," your mother suspected. She smirked and got the hint. “Keep in touch.”

"Okay," you agreed and then cleared your throat when she turned to go. "Mom, what's his name?"

"Huh?"

"The neighbor," you went on, "I should probably introduce myself since I'm going to be a resident of 45 Harding Drive again."

"Joel," her mother replied, "Joel Miller."

Your parents left soon after and so you wandered out to the back steps, waiting for them to take off first before popping open a beer. The ice cold beverage tasted better than normal because of the incoming summer heat that was supposed to really strike the following morning. With a content sigh, you leaned your elbows back on the top step of the set of four that led from the back door into the oversized backyard.

"Jennifer?" a deep, scratchy voice made you jump for the second time that night. You put a hand on your chest and glanced off to the side when you realized a man had called out your mother's name.

The neighbor, you thought, feeling your stomach knot up.

You cleared your throat and rose to your feet, leaving the beer on the top step. "No… I’m (Y/N)." You took a few steps in his direction though he made his way almost all the way to the steps.

"(Y/N)?" His features became clear when he stepped into a small, back light beside the door. The man flashed a friendly, boyish grin from beneath a trim beard. "Tim and Jen’s daughter?"

You looked down sheepishly and smiled before lifting your eyes to meet his stare. "Yeah."

He’s hot, your inner monologue informed you, as if your cheeks hadn't suddenly grown hot.

His eyes shifted to the beer and his grin widened even more before he extended a hand. "I'm Joel... your neighbor."

"Nice to meet you." You gave a closed-mouth smile and took in his appearance, consciously telling herself not to stare. His plain white t-shirt showed off his broad chest and shoulders

Joel cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," you assured him and then cleared your throat, "Do you want a beer or something?"

A smirk twisted onto his face., "No thanks. I was actually just coming over to see if I could borrow some butter."

"Oh..." You glanced over your shoulder at the back door and then back to Joel.

"You don't have to," he said reassuringly, unable to keep the grin from his face. "You don't even know me yet so-"

"No.” You cut him off, "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" Joel's voice cut through you like a knife and he kept his eyes firmly locked on yours.

You nodded, unable to look away for a moment and then waved him inside.

"Don't forget your brew here, honey." He reached down and scooped up the beer as you flung the back door open.

You smiled again, "Thanks."

Joel nodded and followed you in, before glancing around at the modest but modern kitchen. "You, uh... you even old enough to drink this shit?" He motioned to the beer.

You rolled your eyes, "I can show you my ID if that makes you feel any better." You flung open the refrigerator, "I know my parents are going to treat me like I'm in high school again."

"Well... they're just trying to protect you," Joel said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-three." You glanced over her shoulder at him, somewhat pleased to catch him staring - or so you thought. It prompted him to look elsewhere.

"Here." You removed a stick of butter and crossed the room to hand it to him. When the butter landed in his hand you decided to be bold and didn't immediately let it go, "How old are you?"

He chuckled before holding a wicked smirk and again held her captive with his playfully intense eyes. "How old do you think I am?"

You stared back, somewhat used to gaining control over the guys you had dated or been interested in in the past. Already, this time you felt a bit outmatched and part of it was your instant attraction to him. When Joel took one step in her direction, you swallowed hard and gave a random answer.

"Thirty-two?"

Joel laughed a little louder, putting a hand on his stomach. He ran the other hand through his messy brown hair and pointed. "You're so full of shit."

You smiled at him, "I was thinking more of thirty-eight, thirty-nine."

He sucked his teeth and gave you a look up-and-down before smiling wide again. When he didn't say anything in response you flat out asked, "Am I right?"

"Forty-two," Joel finally informed you after a long pause.

"Over the hill then?"

He snickered and then motioned to the fridge, "Ya know... I will have that beer if you don't mind."

You smiled before reopening the fridge to fetch one for him. When you placed a bottle of Bud Lite in his hand he used the counter to pop the top rather than twist it. When the dented bottle cap fell to the floor and danced in circles for a moment you glanced back up to find him continuing to stare as he took a long swig from the bottle.

Joel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Your dad going to notice that a few of these are missing?"

"They're mine," you informed him, "And I'm not-"

"A kid, I know..." Joel rolled his eyes now and the two of you shared a laugh, "Believe me when you're my age you'll love that someone will accuse you of being younger."

"I'm sure I will."

He reached down and scooped up the cap from the ground and then held it out in his palm. When you went to reach for it he closed his hand and smiled playfully.

"I'll take it," Joel offered, "Don't want you to get caught drinking these things when your parents come home." He continued to tease you about your age.

"You know, I could've guessed you were fifty."

He laughed out loud. "Smart mouth on you," Joel flashed his index finger at her with the hand that held the bottle, "I like it."

You looked down and laughed again, feeling your cheeks grow hot again from his remark.

"Anyway, I should be getting back." Joel continued to smile, almost triumphantly and winked. "It was nice meeting you."

"It was nice meeting you too.”

He held your gaze for an extra second, forcing him to smirk a final time before heading out the back door.

"Thanks for the beer," he said casually, "I'll see ya around."

8:15 pm - the following evening

"Sorry I couldn't make it out last night," Holly said to you. The two of you sat side by side at barstools down at one of the local bars in town. "My boss can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"It's fine. I had the house to myself so I kind of just had some time to chill and binge watch some old shows."

"Sounds terrible."

You laughed and shrugged. "It was alright."

"Well, here's to... summer?" Holly raised her martini glass and you tapped her beer bottle gently against it.

"To potentially the weirdest summer of my life."

"Why's that?"

You shrugged, "I don't know. Being back home doesn't feel so 'at home' anymore."

"Give it time." Holly sipped her drink, "In a month it'll feel like you never left."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Hey, it's not so bad. I'm here." She smiled and raised her eyebrows, "Jill and Molly should be home within the week too. We can get the old crew back together before we all get real jobs and have to do shitty adult stuff."

"I'll drink to that," you agreed, taking a longer swig of the beer. You sighed and began to peel at the blue Bud Lite label, letting your mind drift to the night before with Joel. You envisioned him snapping the cap off the top of the beer bottle, using the counter. A smile crossed lingered on your face.

"Ooohh... someone's checking us out," Holly commented, "Or maybe they know you..." Her eyebrows pressed together and she motioned using her head toward a table in the corner of the bar.

"Oh shit." You couldn't contain your response but realized it must've sounded out of place.

"What?" Her friend asked, "Do you know him?"

"That's my neighbor," you informed her, "New neighbor."

Joel smirked and gave a wave but quickly entertained a conversation he was having with two other men at the small, corner table.

"He's kind of a Dilf."

You snickered and shrugged, unable to take your eyes off of him. When Joel glanced back in your direction you looked away and quickly took a sip of your.

"You think he's hot," Holly suspected with a laugh.

"What?" You shook your head, "No... I mean he may have some Dilf qualities or something like you just said but…” The sentence drifted off.

"Mm-hmm..." She continued to stare at her friend with playfully accusing eyes.

"Stop," you joked, "I just met him last night."

"Last night?" Holly perked up, "And..."

"And what?"

"You tell me."

You laughed again, "He came over to the house because he needed some butter."

"More like some sugar," she winked and glanced up toward a television that had a baseball game on in front of them.

You let out a hearty laugh and shook your head.

"He keeps looking over here." Holly’s voice perked out, "Oh! He's getting up," Holly whispered, stalking him for a moment with her eyes.

You glanced over and felt your stomach twist in knots when he headed in their direction.

"So you are over twenty-one," Joel cracked a wide smile and tapped the back of her chair as he continued to walk by.

"Twenty-three," you called after him, smiling wide.

He glanced over his shoulder, winking once before continuing on around a corner toward the bathrooms.

You let out a sigh and Holly turned back around.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" her friend asked. Before you could attempt to plead your case Holly went on, "He's hot... and he's totally flirting with you."

"He's not flirting with me."

"That was a Frank Sinatra-worthy wink."

You shook your head, laughing again. "Where do you come up with these things?"

"You're glowin. You're crushing on this guy. Who cares if he's your neighbor. Get on that."

"He's forty-two," you lowered your voice.

Holly raised her eyebrows and glanced toward the doorway where Joel had just walked through before returning her attention to her friend.

"Forget it." You sipped your drink and tried to pretend like you were nterested in the game on the television.

"At least admit you're crushing."

She turned to her and shook her head, "Fine... he's hot. Okay?" You focused on the screen for as long as she could and tried to pretend not to notice when Joel rounded back into the bar. You let out a deep breath as he crossed behind you and felt a rush when he came up beside you to flag down the bartender.

"Another round?" the middle-aged bartender asked, already reaching for a beer.

"Please,” Joel said with a nod, "You can put it on the tab." He turned to you, "Any interest in playing darts over here?" He nodded toward a dart board in the corner.

"Sure."

"Don't feel obligated." He forced your eyes back to his and continued to stare into them.

"I don't." You felt that intense paralysis again and couldn't turn away. When the bartender came back with the round of beers for Joel, you felt relieved and let out a breath.

"Get these two what they want," Joel added to the bartender, "Next round's on me when you finish those."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"It's fine. I owe you one from last night." He headed back to the small table with his friends and Holly finally snapped you out of your daze.

"I thought you just gave him butter," she whispered with a giggle, "What was last night?"

You swallowed hard and rose to your feet, prompting Holly to do the same. "I offered him a beer and he took it," she said, "It was nothing... believe me. If I had anything interesting to share I would tell you."

Your legs felt heavy as you crossed the dark bar that was scattered with only a handful of other people. While the two other men began collecting darts and erasing the chalkboard to the side, Joel stood staring with his elbow on the table. For a moment everything else was in the background and you could only focus on him.

Shit... Any wit she had going for her had betrayed her. The instant, intense attraction you had to him was completely clouding your judgment. You felt like you were about to enter a wolf den, though you didn't at all mind playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood.

The anxiety-ridden feeling you had had leading up to the game of darts diminished as the night went on. You played a few games, swapping teammates several times, beginning with a 'boys versus girls' theme and then pairing off randomly when one game ended.

"He's going to fuck it up, you watch," Joel taunted as his friend lined up, closing one eye as he released the dart, only sending it clunking off the board and to the ground. "You didn't even hit the fuckin' board." His words drew laughter from everyone and the man that missed stumbled to retrieve it, chuckling as he went.

"I'm fucked up," Skip, the older robust man, remarked as he struggled to pick the dark up from the floor.

"Ya think?" Joel joked, continuing to sip on his beer.

"It's about time I get this man home to his wife and let her deal with him," the other man, Charlie, chuckled from behind a pair of alcohol-induced crimson cheeks. "Can't hold his liquor."

Skip huffed a breath and closed his eyes with a hand on his head. "The old lady's going to be mad at me. Especially when I tell her we've been hanging out with these lovely ladies." He motioned to you and Holly, laughing at himself and making the others do the same.

"I'd leave that part out if you knew what was good for ya," Charlie informed him with another laugh. "Come on Skippy. It's past your bed time."

"Game over?" Holly asked you.

"I guess so." You raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"Charlie, you guys to get home?" Joel asked.

"It's just a quarter mile down the road," Charlie waved a hand. He smiled, "Good night ladies."

"Goodnight," you both said at the same time before Holly turned to you.

"I'm heading to the bathroom. Be right back." She raised her eyebrows, noting it would give you and Joel a moment alone and you tried to play it off coolly.

"Okay." She watched a moment as Holly made her way down the bar and around the corner.

"Hope I didn't kill your girls night," Joel said.

"No." You turned back to him and leaned an elbow on the table, "We were just bored. Had to get out of the house."

"Mmm..." He slid back down into a seat and you took upon herself to join him as you waited for Holly.

Joel leaned both elbows on the table to straddle his beer, "You're probably used to night clubs filled with young guys just dying to buy you a drink. This has to be fuckin' lame."

"I was over that scene by my junior year," you told him with a laugh as you shook your head. "They were all the same with their cheesy cologne and gelled up hair."

Joel huffed a laugh and took a sip of his drink. "Sick of that shit huh?"

"Very." You mirrored his position and continued to sip on the beer you had been milking for the better part of an hour, "I'm kind of over the party scene... and the being at home scene."

"You've been home for one fuckin' day." He raised his eyebrows, "Get over it. You're saving money."

You nodded, "Yeah... yeah you're right."

"I know I am." He smiled, a charming arrogance radiating out of him.

When your phone buzzed in your pocket you jumped and quickly removed it, finding a text message from Holly.

I'm getting in my car. Snuck out the back. Have fun. You'll thank me later.

When you looked back up Joel was grilling you with his eyes. You wondered if he had managed to read the message or not. You cleared her throat. "Holly," you said simply.

"You guys need to go?"

You opened her mouth to speak, still unsure if he had seen what your friend wrote but decided to chance it and lie. "She... got sick. She's on her way home."

"She okay?"

You nodded. “Just a little embarrassed I think and decided to go." You took a sip to buy yourself some time in case he asked any more questions. When he didn't you tried to change the subject. "This place is dead."

"What's so bad about the college scene?" Joel asked.

"Huh?"

"The young guys, the night clubs..."

"Oh... nothing, I guess." You cleared her throat feeling like he was trying to read your mind. Again, your face felt flush with heat and you continued, "They're just... all the same. There's no appeal anymore. When I was eighteen I thought it was cool sneaking into bars and all that." You smiled and shook her head before looking him in the eye. "This is more my speed."

Joel stared back and didn't immediately say anything.

You almost couldn't take the quiet stalemate. The sexual attraction for Joel burned in your chest and in that moment, in the quiet corner of the bar, it was hard to fight it. All the same, you felt like you had to be reading his body language correctly in assuming he was feeling something too. Still, the fact that he was your older neighbor, who you didn't know very well, lingered in the back of your mind.

Getting involved with Joel would satisfy your instant craving for him but beyond that you knew it could only lead to making both of your lives more complicated.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," you told him, when you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. It was the only thing you could say without leaping across the table and initiating a make-out session that played out animalistically in your mind.

"You gunna disappear on me too?" he joked, though you could see there was a hint of seriousness in his piercing eyes behind the wicked smile that hadn't left his face all evening.

"Not a chance." You felt embarrassed by the bold nature of your words, but took a deep breath and made the long walk across the bar into the restroom area. When you pushed open the door you felt relieved that no one else was in there and quickly made your way to the sink to pat some water on her face. You let out a breath, leaning both of her hands on the counter and then took in your appearance to make sure you was satisfied with the way you looked.

I'm being ridiculous, you thought. I'm too old to feel this out of control over a guy... or a man.

Joel was a man. He wasn't at all like the college boys you had been surrounded by who loved to crush beer cans on their heads, brag about how many consecutive beer pong games they'd won and worst of all when they threw the cheesiest lines at you and your friends to try to get laid. Joel didn't have to say or do anything in particular. He could simply look at you the right way and you found yourself ready to obey any request or demand he threw your way.

I’m in over my head, you thought, but I don't care.

You took in another deep breath and felt like you had the quick break that you needed to hold a sensible conversation with him without the constant interference of your out-of-whack hormones.

"Okay," you whispered to yourself and fiddled with your hair before pulling the door open to head back into the short, dark hallway. When Joel rounded the corner at the same time from the bar both of you stopped abruptly.

His eyes stalked the length of your body before finally re-settling on your gaze.

"Checking to make sure I didn't bail?" you joked, nervously laughing just after. Your tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you couldn't help but look him up and down the way he had just done to you.

Joel swallowed hard, tipping his mouth up into a half-smirk before walking past the men's room door in your direction.

You didn't have time to process all of the questions in your mind because he marched up and planted his lips against yours, immediately penetrating them with his tongue as his hands successfully shoved you up against the door to the women's room. It opened a few inches beneath the force.

You felt an explosion of adrenaline filter through your body as you kissed him back even more savagely than in your daydreams.

Joel pushed the door all the way open with one hand, not separating himself from you as he gripped your ass with his free hand and pushed his hips firmly against yours.

You tangled a hand in his hair, kissing him back with a heated passion that you didn't bother to try masking now that he had initiated the fantasy that had been playing out in your mind since you had him.

He moaned into your mouth before taking a breath and crushing his lips back against yours. Your back collided with the tile wall at the back of the bathroom, and you arched your neck as he began to ravage you, sliding a hand down the front of your pants while gripping your face with the other to kiss you hard again.

It all was happening so fast. You struggled to keep up but couldn't process a conscious thought when his first two fingers slid inside of you.

You bit down on your lip in a break in the kiss and spread your legs wider to give him more access.

Joel left a single kiss on her lips and spoke against them in a husky whisper, "Let it out honey," he kissed you again, "Let it out."

You knew the bar was nearly empty and there wasn't another woman that had been there. Even if there had been you didn't know that you would have cared. When his fingers twitched, arcing perfectly in his technique to make your entire lower body shiver with pleasure, you groaned.

"Fuck Joel," your whined his name, desperate for his tongue to dominate your again as he continued to finger you relentlessly until you felt like you were going to explode.

Joel's arousal heightened when he traced your lips with his thumb of his free hand, prompting you to take the tip of it into your mouth.

"God," he closed his eyes relished in the feeling, pushing his fingers deeper into you.

You whimpered again, writhing beneath his touch and attempted to reach for the belt buckle on his pants. "I want you."

He removed his hand from beneath your slick panties and placed his hands against the wall on either side of you as you managed to undo his buckle and shove his pants down off his hips.

Instinctively, you dropped to your knees, taking in as much of him as you could. Joel moaned and bucked his hips once as he grasped the back of your head with one hand. You looked up, watching his head fall back as his closed eyes pressed shut tighter. Joel allowed you to have your way with him as you continued to go down on him like you might never get another opportunity to do so. "Fuuucckk." He drew the word out, encouraging you to continue as he grabbed a fist full of your hair. "Ohh shit..."

Had anybody walked by the door there would have been no way to mask what was going on. Joel didn't hold back and felt an additional jolt of pleasure when you stroked him with your hand before quietly demanding him to come.

He opened his eyes, letting his mouth hang open as he glanced down, making eye contact with you as you engulfed him again.

"Jesus..." Joel's eyes closed and he felt an unmistakable buildup brewing below his waist. He couldn't ask you to stop, not when he was on the verge of exploding. "I'm gunna come." He shouted the words so loud that you thought for sure that someone had to have heard your encounter from somewhere in the bar. Still, you didn't let up and allowed him to push deep into you, gripping the back of your head with such force that you couldn't have separated your mouth from him if you tried.

He groaned, not attempting to hold back what he was feeling, alternating different curse words in between uneven breaths that ultimately left him panting as you finished him off. With a final breath he released your hair, letting his hand drop toward your face as you wiped a hand across your mouth and slowly rose to your feet.

Joel stood there for several seconds, breathing heavy with his pants at his ankles and a hand still on your face. When he finally came down off the high enough to speak, a chuckle left his mouth and ran a hand through your now-messy hair. "Shit honey... you didn't get yours." He let out another breath and then retrieved his pants from the floor and straightened out his appearance.

"It's alright," you told him with a sly smile, noting the heat that was still brewing between your legs.

He huffed another breath and adjusted himself over his pants before regaining your gaze. Joel smiled and drew his thumb gently under your eye, "Mascara's running. Sorry honey."

You closed her eyes as he continued to wipe the stray makeup away from your face. When you reopened them, Joel sported a half grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"Guess I fuckin' owe ya one."

You snickered, pleased to know that he wasn't at all expecting this to be your only encounter. "Yeah... you do."

Joel took a final, deep breath. "Well... you know where to find me."

"Next door."

"If you see me outside come on over to... borrow some butter or something.”

"Butter..." You snickered and then swallowed hard when he took a step toward her and slid a hand back down the front of your pants.

Joel touched his lips to yours as he spoke and this time gently began to massage up and down your wet center. When your mouth twisted up in a smile and you closed your eyes again he grinned and removed his glistening fingers. "It's a shame this is going to go to waste. Too bad you're so damn good at giving a blowjob. I had all the intentions of fucking you but I could just not ask you to stop.”

"Damn," she said quietly, but smiled, praying he might have it in him to continue.

Joel smiled, reading the disappointment on her face. "I'll be in and out tomorrow," he claimed, "You see me and you feel like bringing me over some butter…”

"I think you’ll definitely need some."

He looked down and made his way to the sink to wash his hands before turning to her with a smile. He ended the night the same way he had the night before, "I'll see ya around."

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

[starlitrays]

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

starring. pro hero!katsuki bakugo x pro hero!gn!reader

summary. set several months into the fake relationship, bakugo doesn't really like you and you tolerate him, but you both know how to appease an audience | 1.7k words

content. fake dating (obvi), second person pov, bakugo having conflicting feelings, use of 'y/n' and 'l/n' for last name, fluff if you squint, x is still twitter bc i said so, reader has a pet cat, this feels choppy to me

a/n. first time writing in awhile AND first fic post AND and i didn't fully get into the flow until i was almost done so be patient i might rewrite this after awhile

navigation – masterpost

The cameras ate up every helping you two gave them. You and Katsuki were extremely lovey dovey around the cameras no matter where they were, but when there wasn't a camera or paparazzi or a fan around you two, neither of you said much.

It had been arranged by your managers without much input from either of you, to fake date, that is. It was for approval ratings, popularity polls, and although you individually did well enough on your own, together you shot up the charts. Neither of you particularly liked each other but you could be civil to each other, and you knew how to play a camera, so it was working out well.

Now you sat, thigh to thigh next to Katsuki with his left hand held in your lap with both of your hands, smiling at the interviewer talking to the two of you. He wasn't smiling, although that was normal. The crowd, filled with live audience members and other paparazzi looking for the perfect shot, stared in awe at the perfect couple the two of you were.

When the interviewer would ask a question, you'd turn and wait for Katsuki to say something first, and if he didn't or he turned to face you, that meant it was your turn to answer the question.

”Now, there is one question that a lot of your individual and combined fans have been asking a lot lately.” The interviewer, Notaui, began, although he paused, waiting for some kind of approval from the two of you.

You started to nod a yes, and Katsuki spoke up. ”Go on.” He sounded annoyed. He always sounded annoyed though, and you were internally rolling your eyes, although that never poked through to your facial expression. Pure focus in media and PR training had taught you how to maintain an expression while feeling something else entirely.

”Can we expect to hear of a save the date anytime in the near future?” Notaui lifted his brows up at the happy couple. You turn your head to Katsuki, but he freezes, and you squeeze his hand, letting him know you would take care of it. After all, this was bound to come up eventually, and you were prepared.

”Notaui c'mon, wouldn't that ruin the surprise of a proposal?” You say with a laugh, getting the attention off Katsuki for a few moments. At the sound of your laugh, your counterpart dry laughs right along with you. You didn't need a quirk to feel the realisation of the stupidity of the question ripple through the audience. ”Besides we're in no hurry.” You continue, turning and smiling at the crowd with a wink.

The answer you gave was perfect, Katsuki knew that. He also knew that his manager would praise him for letting you handle it, but it still pissed him off a little bit, even if the rewards got him exactly where he'd wanted to be since he decided he wanted to be a pro hero.

Notaui cleared his throat, and his cheeks got a little rosy out of what most would assume was embarrassment, but you could tell, it was disappointment from not getting the answer the producers wanted.

”You just say when.” Notaui laughed, winking at the camera. It made both you and Katsuki question how this guy got his own show, but nobody knew that. ”Oh and guess what, that's time.” He announced, telling you, Katsuki and the audience that the segment of you two sitting there looking perfect, was over.

Katsuki stood up before you did, and with your hands holding his, you were quick to follow suit.

You walked over to Notaui, releasing Katsuki’s hand to shake his, politely thanking him for having the two of you on. Katsuki didn’t shake the guy’s hand, instead just nodding along with your words before ushering off the stage just behind you, barely sparing a second glance at the audience you smiled and waved at. Still, you smiled as you politely thanked all of the behind the scenes crew, just like your manager had told you while Katsuki floated around you, hands in his pockets. 

When you two finally managed your way into the elevator and the doors shut, you both let our heavy sighs almost simultaneously. You glanced over at Katsuki, who had looked over to you at the same time. We’re spending too much time together. You thought to yourself, eyes returning to anything but him.

The ding of the elevator had your smile returning and your hand reaching for Katsuki’s for just a moment longer as you left the building, where a car had been pulled around for you both. Letting go of his hand, you reached forward, pulling the back door open before sliding all the way over to the farthest seat. Katsuki got in, sitting closest to the door he pulled shut. This left just the middle seat between you two.

“Well that was bullshit.” Katsuki muttered, arms crossed while his eyes glared out the tinted window. You turned your head to him momentarily, rolling your eyes as your head turned back to looking out your own window.

“For once I agree with you.” You responded, reaching into your purse for your phone. It’d become routine now, to check your phone after every time you and Katsuki would go out together. First you open your messages, giving a thumbs up response to your manager’s text about doing great. Then you read your mom’s text about how proud she and your father were to see you on TV, which you half-smile at. They didn’t know your relationship with Katsuki wasn’t real. Your mom gets a ‘thanks mom :)’ text back, and you close out of your texts.

Deciding against checking your email, you click on the blue icon with a white bird on it. You ignore the top tweets in your timeline, moving over to the explore page. There it is.

“We’re trending again.” You say into the air, eyes never leaving your phone screen. Katsuki just hums in response. You tap the trending tag, scrolling through tweet after tweet. Of course there were a few people who hated you, or Katsuki, or both of you, but most of the tweets were big hero culture news outlets and fans raving about you guys. Sometimes you did feel a little guilty about the whole thing. Making people happy made you happy, but it’s not like any of it is true. Regardless, you go ahead and like some of the fan tweets. 

Katsuki leans his head back against the headrest of his seat. He mumbles something under his breath and you turn to him. “What?” You ask him, eyes scanning his face.

He huffs, desperately willing himself not to roll his eyes as he always does. “I said, you’re too good at this, (L/n). Better than you should be, anyways.” He says, looking away from you. You quirk a brow up at him. “I mean-” He pauses, as if thinking over his words. “how are you always so cheerful with the fans and press?” The questions echoes in your ears.

“Easy. I think about going home.” You responded, more nonchalantly than you left. Of course the lie was tiring, but being in your own bed, surrounding by blankets and pillows and your cat Zero, his different fur colours always keeping him quite clear in your vision in contrast to the shades of your bedding as your eyes scan over the screen of your laptop, giggling at the youtube video displayed on the screen. 

Katsuki looks at you.. oddly? It’s almost a scowl, but not quite. It’s almost like he’s simply displeased. You stare right back at him and pull your lips tight together, silently reiterating your words. He grunts in response, it’s his nonverbal version of ‘okay.’ 

As the driver rounds the last corner before your apartment, you notice something in your peripheral vision. Was that..? You question, eyes looking into the driver’s rear view mirror. You can’t be sure of what you’re seeing since the angle is meant for the driver, not a passenger, but when the car stops just outside the carpark of your apartment complex, you take the chance to glance back as your readjust in your seat, gathering your purse and looking around for anything else you may have left behind in the car. Cameras. You were seeing cameras, maybe they were fans, maybe they were paparazzi, that you couldn’t tell. 

You reached for the door handle, when you felt your phone buzz. Sighing shortly, you reach for your phone, a text from your manager being the sole notification at the bottom of the screen. Without clicking it, your Face ID unlocks your phone, switching the text from a new message notification, to showing the contents of the text. It tells you that there are eyes on you and Katsuki which, granted, you knew, but it always made you shiver at how she always knew.

While you didn’t like the idea of inviting a man prone to outbursts into your safe haven, you still acted immediately. You couldn’t help how your media-trained mind worked. “Give me your jacket and come with me.” You say into the air, words clearly meant for Katsuki and he looks over to you from the window, confused while you typed back an ‘okay’ text to your manager.

When he didn’t move immediately, you lifted your eyes from the screen and looked at him. “Bakugo, now.” You told him, eyes looking at him almost as if he was crazy. Katsuki began to shed his jacket, handing it over to you with a frown. 

“Why am I going with you?” He asks, rolling his shoulders back. You start to drape the jacket over your shoulders.

“I’ll tell you when we get upstairs.” You huff, offering your hand out to him. “Ready?” 

All he does is slide his hand into yours, interlocking your fingers with a nod and a grunt.

Oh the things you do to remain at the top.

@ STARLITRAYS : please do not translate or repost my works without my expressed consent and permission. please do not copy any of my works.