#since he’s NOT REAL SJJSSJ
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i’m back on my tony stark shit 🗣️🗣️🗣️
#i MISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!!#it hurt me so much when he died and only now five years later am i ready to remember him#bc i did genuinely grieve him#and it hurt to think about him#which is so EMBARASSING#since he’s NOT REAL SJJSSJ#but heeeeee is so imporrrrtant to me#been rereading (bc i’ve read most of them) tony fics on ao3 and sobbing#not only for him but for the memories of old mcu fandom#and also bc i loveeeee tony stark angst / hurt comfort so they’re supposed to be tear jerkers anyways#but i deep am in nostalgia rn.#4 hours into a trip down memory lane#and i need to sleep#but i’m so wired#like i am amped up#just buzzing#tony tony tony tony tony#my love. my love how i missed you#you deserved so much better#it’s healing to read these and also double devastating bc i know how it ends …#none of it mattered. he tried and he tried and he tried and then he died.#and it was for nothing. all of it was borrowed time. he was never supposed to have a happy ending#ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and back then we all had beautiful whimsy and hope and ideas about the avengers all living together and being friends#when in canon they never became anything more than coworkers on a good day#also it’s making me remember coulson and all of tony’s robots and JARVIS!!! JARVISSSS i cannot believe i forgot how much i loved you#how much tony loved you#age of ultron i will never forgive you#fuck vision fuck wanda fuck this shit#but honestly i used to be a lot angrier but now im just sad mostly . and also happy to see my friend tony
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