#since he isn't swapping with anyone

[neil-gaiman]

Why. Why in the intro are their names closest to the character that isn't the one they're playing, please Neil why would you do this it ruins my day, everyday. I know full well you're not the one who made the intro, but you may have answers to my predicament.

We had a meeting to decide what would upset you most. Most of the guys were for creeping into your kitchen late at night and swapping over the salt and the sugar, but David Tennant held out for placement of the names on the opening titles, and he's been insufferable about it since.

If anyone has swapped over your salt and sugar it was probably those scalawags from Dick Turpin. Not us.

[nanamiskentos]

★ ☄️🪽 ARMAGEDDON ! jujutsu kaisen. 呪術廻戦.

prologue ⋆ ★ what if gojo satoru was the king of curses? or nanami kento, the suave n' disdainful cult leader? ryomen sukuna, the strongest at jujutsu tech? welcome to alternate reality jujutsu kaisen.

pairings ⋆ ★ gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna genre tags & warnings ⋆ ★ afab/she+her!reader, fíngering (f), metaphysical séx, reader is called 'whóre', the most incorrect use of unlimited void ever, óral (m), consensual éxhibitiónism/voyéurísm (nanami), mentions of violence, wall séx, hate séx (choso), jealous séx, car séx (toji), ríding him to tears, córruption kink, overstím, angry séx, lore swaps in a way that would make shonen jump blacklist me forever

word count ⋆ ★ 5.1k a/n ⋆ ★ been teasing this since november last year and i lost motivation and forced myself to pick it back up and get it togetherrr 😭 my formal apologies extended to gege

GOJO SATORU ៹. the king of curses

"i h-hate you, i really, really do!" funny, isn't it? how the words that fall from your kiss-stung lips don't quite match at how you're writhing and squirming in the lap of a being that could easily snap you in two, should he so wished.

clearly, gojo satoru seems to find you, his vessel, just as amusing, for he thinks he's grown rather used to your antics. to the way that you claim to detest him, and that you'll never entertain his offers ever again. and yet here you are, always crawling back to the king of curses when the long hours of the night don't allow you to rest.

"that's possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," gojo coos, chiming sweetly while two fingers work their way through your insides, crooking and curling to find your sweet spot. sighing as though he wasn't affected by your bare form, draped across his throne, "you know what i really admire about you? your unshakeable principles. how you say that you just can't stand me, heh, and yet, always beggin' like a whore for me."

"fuck, gojo, r-right there, –" eyes rolling to the back of your head, revealing the whites, as translucent gloss practically drips down one of the demon's four hands.

"yes, yes," gojo mutters, "i'll get to that, jus' gotta' be patient." luckily, your back is pressed against his bare chest, the muscles and flesh littered with bold, ivory markings. the very edges of ice-kissed hair tickling at your cheek as sharp fangs sink into the shell of your ear, almost tender.

each push and pull of gojo's slender, sturdy fingers between your swollen folds leaves a resounding pop! that echoes through this...well, you're not quite sure where you are. all you know is that, as gojo satoru's vessel, you're prone to sharing his domain — particularly when you're trying to sleep. frankly, you should be a little more concerned about the frequency of these metaphysical meetings, but it's hard to think of little else but how his fingers are so thick, hitting all the right spots in you.

"hey, have i ever told ya' about unlimited void?" gojo suddenly murmurs, jostling right over the nasty bulge that the king of curses packs beneath those loose robes. you tiredly droop your head back, too busy rolling your hips, so close to that dear climax that you've been chasing ever since your soul popped up in gojo's throne room. your eyes meet four blue irises, each one cunning and sharp.

"is t-this really the time for a, hah, a lesson?" you scowl, feeling gojo stiffen and curse underneath you when your pretty cunt sets a steady rhythm over his clothed shaft, "you were no help earlier today, y'know that, right? when that c-curse was –"

gojo nips at your neck, those strands of snowy hair kissing your neck once more, "you were doing just fine without me, always got somethin' to complain about, don't you, eh?" lifting your hips to hiss at the arousal that's leaking out from underneath you, pooling in his wide lap. muttering something about how a human and a lowly vessel like you should be honoured to receive a teaching from the incarnated king of curses, "now pay attention, 'cause i'm not gonna' be repeating myself. 's about t-time you learnt more about this domain."

bleary eyes cracking open to try and capture the sight of a floorless throne room, as though the night sky had been captured to form the base, flickering often as a starless, yet stormy sky, "i k-know unlimited void," you whine, "always showin' off in my head 'bout it," seething as gojo stills his fingers inside you, tutting as he presses a kiss to the nape of your neck.

two beefy arms still hold you aloft, while one has fingers buried within your cunt, and the fourth? deft, rough pads of his fingers begin rubbing soothing, tight circles over your clit, rendering most of your mind to mush, "not just a realm, sweetheart. heh, guess you could say it's a curse. at least for anyone foolish enough to find themselves trapped there –," patting your thighs gently, "present company excluded, of course."

resuming his gentle, punishing pace once more, still curling upwards where he's most eager to reach, that special spot that will see you falling apart so beautifully, "see, when most lesser beings enter, it's like – mhmm, how should i put this?" gojo's musing, voice curling melodiously behind you, slapping away your eager hand that reaches for his cock, "not yet, where was i? well, unlimited void stretches one's mind, traps ya' in an endless sea of information. trust me, yer' gonna' know every atom and particle out there."

"ah, gojo!" lashes fluttering with crystal tears that pull at the corners of your eyes, for he's hit the arrowhead right on the mark, right where your climax is poised to wash over you any second now.

but gojo's ignoring your needy cries, two fingers flexing so tense against your gummy, sticky walls, "so the mind can't really handle unlimited void, and most are just...shut down. but only when i activate it, does that make sense?" he's musing, not waiting for your answer, "yeah, it does, hah. but we are not most lesser beings, right?"

you're not even sure what on earth he's going on about, desperate to chase the orgasm that teases you, licks flames at your groin, "n-no, we're not, fuck, gojo, 'm so –"

"close?" gojo chuckles darkly, and you should have known. truly, you should have guessed that he would have never been so generous with your pleasure if he wasn't planning something. for just as you ripple with the dazed pleasure, you can feel gojo crook one finger in you, one behind the other, curling the digits just so he can mutter something you only catch when it's too late.

"unlimited void."

what follows next is earth-shattering, for you feel as though its the ultimate surrender to the king of curses, where time and space, and thought all blend together into something overwhelming perfect, rather than suffocating. your lips part, soundless as a silent cry is ripped from you, your thighs quivering atop gojo satoru's muscular lap, release absolutely spraying and gushing out from your swollen, eager folds.

you've never had a release that's quite so...clear and inviting, and you can hear gojo's amused, aroused laugh against your back, and if you didn't know better, you would assume that the king of curses is running pale claws through your hair, letting you ride out the crystalline wave of your orgasm.

"hahh, oh my – oh my god, satoru," you're probably babbling, clinging and creating a bigger mess over gojo, who just narrows all four eyes, tipped with white, long lashes. he's smiling, as though he knows something that you don't, and he looks almost pleased, "should we continue the next lesson tomorrow night?"

NANAMI KENTO ៹. the cult leader

you should have known better, you really should have been a bit smarter about all this, about flouncing into the hall where nanami had been holding court, or rather, cult. for the mats had been set up the previous day for the wealthiest benefactors to come and see the great, golden man in the flesh.

and you doubt your husband had been...pleased, when you had poked your head past the great sliding doors, clad in nothing but an open robe in swathes of rippling navy. so all those who turned their head would have caught sight of nanami kento's beautiful wife, nipples pebbled in the cool air, drawing their line of sight to the apex of your thighs. so, that's how you found yourself here, lips pursed around the fat head of the cult leader's shaft.

"she's doin' so well, isn't she?" nanami intones, gentle hand guiding the nape of your neck, loving even. well, he always was, despite the games that the two of you played. the show that he was always eager to put on, hazel eyes gazing over the gaping maws of the benefactors who could only watch, shifting on their mats as you lifted your head up with a pop!

he's chuckling to himself, running a limp hand through thick waves of amber hair, "heh, 's okay. no-one needs speak, i need to be hearing her properly." her being the slick sounds echoing from the hollows of your mouth, the lips that you used to press creamy kisses onto his cock.

"doing, mmph – doing good?" you mumble, that heavy slurp! of your tongue against the broad underside of his cock sending him to heaven and back. he's adjusting his glasses, guiding a shaky hand to the base of his cock, where golden curls coil thickly, slowly sliding his member from your pretty mouth. smearing your waiting lips with the translucent smears of pre that you've pulled from him.

"the best," nanami assures you, patting at his thick, muscular thighs for you to lay your head, "and t-they all think so too, i bet." he can see the gleam in your eyes, knows that you're enjoying this just as much as he is.

wondering at all the creative ways that he can take you right after this, perhaps splayed out on his lap for all to see, back against the teal robes snug on his chest, so the benefactors can see his cock slide between the fat folds of your cunt. tempting.

you're pursing your lips once more, wiping a stray, clingy strand of nanami's arousal from your chin, before diving back to the head task at hand. each wet, sloppy sound of your glistening lips against the fat, blushed tip of his cock has nanami's thighs shaking, quivering. determined not to whine and lose composure in front of the men who fork over billions of yen to his...temple each month.

but it's your hands that are the most dangerous, nanami concludes, for while you flatten your tongue against his tip, your fist tightens around the base of his cock, teasing gentle fingers against the folds of skin right underneath, and his mind goes absolutely blank.

shooting ropes after ropes of thick, buttery release against your lips. watching with glimmering, hazy eyes as your fingers catch the droplets of his release, reaching in between your thighs to slicken your cunt further with his climax, god, nanami truly thinks he's going to burst.

there's a faint, muffled groan from someone in the audience, and he can see the pitying, disapproving look in your eyes. for someone's broken the golden rule of silence, and well, the whole room is gonna' pay for that now. and miss out on a truly magnificent show, he'd wager. what a shame, but no big loss. he's truly extracted whatever funds they had, so these men are of no use to him now.

he gently runs slender fingers over your chin, dipping at the plush flesh of your lower lip, helping you up, "come, my love. i don't want you seeing this," pulling your open robes tighter across your heated flesh, he's guiding you to the door, past the rows of slack-jawed men. nanami kento certainly doesn't want the love of his life hearing the sounds of errant curses ripping flesh apart.

CHOSO KAMO ៹. the assassin

you not really sure what's stopping you from plunging the tip of a blade into the throbbing veins that bulge against choso kamo's neck. it would be so easy, and well, it would be fair too. you could claim self-defence too, for had the sorcerer killer not arrived to take your life?

but fate has a funny way of doing things, for there's a hazy smile playing across your lips, fingers twisting into loose strands of dark hair that fall to choso's shoulders, gasping as he rickets his hips into you, greedy as his cock drills you against the damp alley-wall.

"you're not t-that good at y'job, are ya'?" you're teasing, gasping as you can feel every inch of choso's thick shaft pressing disorderly pecks against your cervix, deeper than you really thought possible. and god, the assassin looks ruined. how ironic that you were the one who took him out instead, with nary a weapon but the one that he loved between your thighs.

the taller man's groaning, amber eyes misty, squeezing shut as dark lashes flutter across pale, blotchy skin like brush strokes on an oil canvas. "s'good, oh, f-fuck," choso's lips bloom a pretty shade of bruised pink, "yer' killing me, baby."

he's jerking his head back, partly from the sheer pleasure running through his veins, and partly due to your nails bestowing a harsher, tighter tug to the back of his head. it's got him sheepishly giggling, utterly pussydrunk on you, "sorry, bad choice of words, huh?"

whatever retort was blooming on your open lips falls apart when you feel the cherry head of choso's cock punch at you, pistoning slick smears of pre against your sweet spot, hot and heavy. he's filling you up in the most delicious way imaginable, and you take the moment to run your hands over his back. over the tight top that clings to his build like a second skin, melded into the ashen pallor of his bulging upper arms.

choso's effortlessly got you poised on one arm, jostling and cursing as his fingers loop around thick, coiled chains dangling from the spear strapped to his back. he's fumbling for a split second, throwing the weapon on the ground with little care, all so he can hold you better. cold fingers pressing against your mouth, a waiting command for you to wrap your tongue around the tip of his finger. tasting yourself, from when you had first guided his hand to the apex of your thighs.

"c-close?" choso murmurs, questioning and chasing after your lolling tongue, looking equally wrecked, as he slams the very last of his inches into you. bottoming out with a thick, sticky pop! the final push has him hitting the perfect spot to make you writhe and squirm. sealing him into a kiss this time to muffle the whine that threatens to erupt from you.

knowing that that choso's got you pinned to the wall of an alley in one of the most run-down districts of the city, where none travel save for ill intentions, and yet, anyone could still turn the corner and see exactly where the base of choso's cock meets your hips in clingy slaps of arousal and pre swirled up together.

"the f-first time i've never been able to finish the job, heh," choso muses, his tone almost gentle despite the mean way that he's delving into your walls, "don't think i can face m'boss after this, tch', o-ouh, fuck," choso's leaning into the crook of your neck, sinking pointed canines into soft skin. leaving marks that will surely bruise and bloom in shades of deep violet, when he separates his tacking, syrupy lips from the juncture of your swan-arch.

you groan, unabashed, when choso stills for a second and bestows you with a heady kiss, all before plunging right back in to you, "who would have thought i would be the o-one to bring the sorcerer killer to his k-knees?"

choso's giving you a half-lidded, lazy look, flushing a brilliant shade of blossom-pink, as though he's got all the time in the world, smoothly dragging his hand down further until its patting at your mound, "p-patience, i'll give ya', that too."

TOJI FUSHIGURO ៹. the office worker

"oh, it's you." that was your disappointed, flat intone when toji fushiguro pushed through the elevator doors after you, earlier that day. the man was the office's terminal underachiever, barely even showing up on the clock, but it was hard to complain when he proved such a delicious sight for the eyes in a rumpled black dress-shirt, rolled up to reveal glorious thick forearms dusted with faint, dark hair.

"oh, it's t-too big, toji!" and that's how you somehow ended up, practically pressed flat into the most brutal, nasty mating press in the backseat of your car. toji's large hands splayed across your thighs, legs achingly hooked over his bent form — but the ache between your legs was far more pleasurable. glossy strands of slick snapping and clinging to your skin where his thighs snapped against yours, steady at a pace that wouldn't rattle your isolated car too much in the basement lot.

"didn't think i was gon' show up today, doll?" toji groans, slowly bucking his sharp hips forward so every inch of his cock explores the walls of your pretty, pretty pussy. "that's why y'were flirtin' with that stupid –" the man's muffling back a heavy moan, "that stupid worker on the s-second floor?"

you're not quite sure how toji manages to do it. defying the laws of physics and matter to somehow reach in between the two of you, to slap around the treacly mess gathered at your pressed groins. toji's circling your throbbing clit in faux pity, all as you heave, "you're jealous? t-that's what this is, hah?"

toji's jade, sharp eyes narrow as though he's hesitant to put a name to the emotion, settling to roll and pinch at your swollen bud, hoping that you can feel every vein and fold of skin rummaging through your syrupy cunt, "n-no." but the quake in his voice gives him so brutally away, and it has you grinning. pulling toji fushiguro down for a clash of your lips against his, so that rough scar brushes against your skin, twitching almost as though toji's smiling into the kiss. what a bastard, you hate how he's ensnared you.

you hiss, pulling at soft, silky strands of raven hair, "keep it down, fushiguro –" heart racing with every ricketing motion of your poor car, swaying back and forth, tucked away in this dim little corner of the office basement lot, "s-someone could see, could fire us, hnghh', b-both."

it's clear that toji fushiguro doesn't quite share your concerns, that shark-like grin beaming in brilliant ivory, nipping at your neck, tugging the corners of your blouse with his teeth, "someone, as in – fuck, ya' got a killer grip, doll. someone, like that fucker on the second floor?"

you roll drenched hips further into toji's abdomen, feeling dark hairs tickled at the very lowest base of your own groin, "if ya' wanna be exclusive, t-toji, just say so." head thrown back for toji to bestow heated kisses all along the expanse of bared skin, tossing your employee lanyard aside.

toji punctuates his answer with a sharp tack of his hips against your clit, "yeah. exclusive, you n' me, doll." the burly man must be close for he's flushing, babbling at you as though you're undoing every stitch holding his slacks (and sanity) together, "i'd do a-anything. clean up my act for ya', show up every day jus' to see that pretty fuckin' face."

your own hazy, shaking climax washes over you, just as toji stills, pumping rope after rope of translucent, creamy cum right into you. creating an awful, sticky mess that leaves you writhing, panting toji's name into his open mouth, "do all that, f-fushiguro, and y'can have me in any way you want."

GETO SUGURU ៹. the death painting

"please," the half-curse is whining now, prattling as you run hands over the dark, cotton robes that envelop him, "dunno' what this is, but it feels so –"

you're cooing, pressing soft and slick kisses to the corner of geto's pink mouth, "feels good, suguru? i guess you could say, hmm," running nails through the dark, silky strands of the death painting's hair, "you could say it's pleasurable, right?"

geto's nodding, adam's apple bobbing as his peach-fine features flush the most beautiful shade of crimson. looking nothing like the hardened warrior with an arsenal of special-grade curses, those of his own blood, at his side. he looks positively ruined, and you can feel the curve of his bulge underneath your teasing hands, running softly over the clothed shaft in the most innocuous way possible.

"can you, ouh –" geto stutters when your lips press a searing kiss into the throbbing vein on his creamy neck, where his shaky pulse jumps in staccato, "touch it? feels s-so good, love."

you're batting your lashes, tilting your head as though you have no idea about the effect you hold over the half-curse, "what? touch, oh!" slipping your hand past the band of his loose pants, underneath the deep violet fabric cinched at his waist, "here?"

resting your hand against the very base of his abdomen, right above where he craves you most. geto's bucking his hips up desperately, hoping that you'll get the hint and move past where you've hovering, right over a thatch of raven-curls.

you thinly smile, feeling the heat of his skin sear into you, before you've even touched his muscular, broad thighs. to think that you've got quite the warrior begging underneath you, well, it's got your own thighs damply clenched together. but that's a lesson for another day, for today, you want to see geto suguru gasping in your hold.

"hmm, suguru, y'know you've gotta' be a bit more specific," your nails run dangerously against his shaft, and you won't admit this to him yet, but the sheer length is making you gulp. all before you've even laid eyes on the magnificent inches that he's packing away underneath his robes, "do y'trust me, sugu'?"

geto nods, quickly and sharply, already shivering from your touch, "of c-course, 'course, i trust you." and the admission makes your pussy flutter, the idea of having this girth packed in you, drilling into you until the two of you see stars.

you press another gentle kiss to the corner of his lips again, reaching up to free his hair from the clingy knot resting on the back of his head. marvelling as ink-dark hair pools in sleek swathes, falling to his waist, giggling as geto chases after your lips, "hah, 'm gonna make you feel so good, baby."

you gently tug his robes to the side, revealing an expanse of chiselled skin, and clear-cut muscle. giving geto a coy look as you pull out his weighty, hot shaft, searing in your hands. it's just as pretty and big as he is, crowned with an angry-red head that seems to throb and pulse in your grasp.

"fuck," geto gasps, already looking drunken from your touch, "keep doing t-that, don't stop that, please." he's addicted to the way that your fist starts gently pumping him, slowly applying more pressure as you move from base to tip. dipping your tongue to taste the first, clear drops of pre that have already escaped.

you clearly didn't account for the physiology of those with cursed blood in their veins, for geto's already making a mess. you're certain that barely no time has passed at all, but there's already slick, gooey strands painting your hand. creating loud squelches as you roll your fist, thumb pausing to flit at his weeping slit.

"hey, suguru," you're murmuring, experimentally parting your lips over his bulging tip, "what would happen if i –"

you get your answer when you're barely enveloped his shaft, thick wads of stringy cum exploding out in glossy torrents, painting your chin in slow, clingy drips of geto's seed. geto, who's twitching and flushed in your hold, ears beaming red as he gnaws at his lower lip, "baby, you shoulda', fuck, should have warned me." pausing to give you a shy look, "wanna' try again?"

RYOMEN SUKUNA ៹. the strongest

"what the fuck was that?" you've never quite seen sukuna like this, this furious. this loss of composure just didn't quite suit ryomen sukuna, the strongest sorcerer that walks the earth in this day and age (though, rumours say that he may even hold a candle against gojo satoru, the famed king of curses).

over a decade you've known the gruff man, graduated alongside him, worked and fought alongside him at jujutsu tech, and yet you've never, ever seen sukuna as he is now. not even when itadori yuuji broke his favourite mug before class.

he's blinking crimson eyes in some sorta' haze, dark lashes fluttering as his mouth hovers an inch away from yours. you're not sure what sort of lecture this is, but the throbbing in your groin is a dead giveaway that you don't mind.

a large hand is resting on the nape of your neck, as though sukuna's not sure whether to pull you away or towards him, numerous silver piercing clinking as he shakes his head, "what did i say to ya' earlier, hmm?"

"erm..." no, not your best work.

but it's truly hard to focus when sukuna looks this good, painted in the evening light that filters through the window of the abandoned classroom, long after the students have retired. toned, deceptively fierce arms pushing against the navy jujutsu uniform, rose-pink hair mussed — no thanks to that special grade that was giving the two of you a hard time not so long ago.

he's pushing closer against you, and you're catching that scent, intoxicating and heady, "wasn't a rhetorical question, woman. didn't i tell ya' one important thing?"

you realise how easy it would be to wrap a leg around his slender waist, to pull the tall man in against the two of you were pressed flat against the desk but you tamp the lecherous thoughts down, time and place, yeah? "you said...," you falter, wandering if it's worth tilting your head to brush your lips against the man, "y'said not to get in the way."

sukuna's long fingers are curling at the shell of your ear, running over a stray strand of hair that's come undone in the earlier scuffle, "mhm, good girl. and what did ya' do, then? when i was busy using dismantle n' cleave?"

you sigh, already feeling sukuna's temper roll off him in waves, "yes, i got in the way," intoning flatly, looking anywhere but the concentric rings in sukuna's eyes, "look, if you're gonna' chew me out, can you make it quick? i ended up you helpin' anyway, and i dunno' why you're so pressed about –"

sukuna presses his lips to yours, effectively shutting you up in a kiss that leaves you whimpering, moaning at the desire (and something else that you know sukuna's gonna have a hard time naming) that erupts. bruising lips meeting yours with a fierce urgency, teeth scraping, and hands pulling your own uniform to the side, as though sukuna may lay down his life if he doesn't get to feel you this close to him.

sukuna's muffling something into the kiss, calling you senseless (well, hey! not true) and oblivious (maybe) and gorgeous (true enough, that's fair). you're not sure when his large, tattooed hand managed to pry its way up to your thighs, but you gasp at the feeling of your suddenly drenched panties being torn off with little bravado. sukuna's grinning, all sharp fangs, as he tucks them away into his uniform pocket.

"fuck me." you're groaning, gasping at his thumb hooks over your clit, rubbing hot, tight circles into your most sensitive spot. you're not sure if it's exasperation or a plea colouring your words, but sukuna seems pleased, quirking a brow, "yeah? that's what you want? think it'll get ya' off the hook?"

"please fuck me," you correct yourself, reaching for the metal buckle at sukuna's hips, fulfilling that vision of hooking sukuna in. rocking him closer to your bare, dripping core so he can align his fat, heavy tip against your glistening entrance.

your eyes flit down to the very base of his cocks, where coarse, pink hair teases your flesh, and — oh. sukuna's tracking your line of sight, flushing when he sees your eyes widen, taking in the dark, tattooed ring encircling the base of his shaft.

"don't ask," sukuna grunts, ears flaming red as you giggle, nipping at your ear, "hold on f'me now, can ya' follow that instruction, at least?" the man truly thinks he may lose it, right then and there, watching how your puffy folds bulge around the head of his cock. how it's you, the woman that he's been in love with for ten years, giving him a dazed, lopsided smile when he finally, finally slides it in.

"fuuuck," sukuna groans, pale-pink hair tickling at your forehead as he leans in, "yer' taking me well, heh. not too big for ya'?" he's grinning, even when you swat a droopy hand at him, clenching hard around his girth, "don't flatter yourself."

but it's only when he starts rocking his hips back and forth, imprinting his cock right against your walls, that sukuna begins to lose his mind, losing all sense of other duties and responsibilities. thoughts of the report that he has to submit to the fuckass higher ups, the quizzes he has to grade for the dumb, little first years, oh god, the bills he has to pay. poof! gone, vanquished by the sticky-sweet hold of your intoxicating cunt.

"wanted this for sooo long, woman," sukuna grunts, "you got no idea, wanted you," he punctuates his words with a sharp tack of his hips, "only you. always you, only one for me, heh. i'd take out anyone who says otherwise." and your sweet, pretty whimpers in his ear only make him all the more desperate, ready to slam bullseye on that sweet spot. thank god, classes are over for the day and the campus is empty, for he's got you allll to himself now.

[cursedcola]

Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul (Here) | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia A/N: Putting all my brain rot from my notes into something cohesive. Contrary to my love for ripping your hearts out, I've come with some fluff this time around. BTW you may or may not already do things mentioned - I write my works with a specific Yuu in mind for each character so this is based on them. Just a reminder.

Habits you steal:

Plan-Books (Inherited) : Riddle habitually carries a planner with all his tasks. A physical one, not an app in his cell phone like most students choose. You find it easier to manage and swap to paper-and-pen alternatives at his recommendation.

Tidiness (Inherited): Riddle is a nit-pickier when it comes to physical presentation. His habits of pressing his uniform, laying his clothes out every night, and dressing conservatively rub off. He has a point - ironed trousers do make a difference. Every morning he will redo your uniform tie. It's never knotted to his 'standard', and is his preferred excuse to greet you before class.

"Now, isn't that better? Surely you are more comfortable in ironed linens than those rags you'd been wearing as pajamas. You seriously found them lying in Ramshackle? Were you not given an allowance to buy basic needs? Ridiculous! The Headmaster's irresponsibility holds no bounds!" <- Utterly appalled that you've been sleeping in century-old robes. He supplies you with seven sets of pajamas, a spare uniform, and an iron + board for Ramshackle. All after reaming the Headmaster for neglect in the last dorm-head meeting - either Crowley coughed up the marks or Riddle will supply from his own bank. Seven have mercy if he chooses to become a lawyer instead of a doctor.

No Heels (Developed): Riddle has a height complex. He won't make a show of it, but you wearing heels does emasculate him. Especially if you're already taller naturally. For his sake, you choose to slay your outfits in flats.

"Are those new loafers? Oh - no, they're lovely. The embroidery is exquisite and I can see why Pomefiore's Housewarden models for their brand. I merely thought you preferred the heeled saddle-shoes we saw during the past weekend trip. I must have been mistaken. Never mind me. You look wonderful."

Playing Brain Teasers (Inherited): Riddle has this thing with memory - you don't know if he's really into preventing old-age Alzheimer's or what. He carries a book of teaser games like Sudoku, etc. for when he has downtime and you eventually get into them too.

"Oh! My Rose, would you care to join me for lunch? Trey's siblings recently mailed in a large collection of cross-words. You'll find they are both educational and entertaining - hm? I do not seem the 'type' for word-games? I assure you, even I can relax on occasion. There is no need to look so surprised." <- Riddle's been making a grand effort to do things he enjoys and become more personable. Trey's siblings did not send the collection. Riddle went into town and picked it out on his own. He also found a book on organizing excursions since he's big on quality time. He is dead-set on not being a neglectful or 'boring' partner.

Swear Jar (Developed): Tired of Riddle collaring Ace for his vulgar tongue, you suggest a Heartslabyul swear jar. When the jar gets filled, the money can be used to fund things like study materials and renovations for the dorm. Riddle liked this idea, but now implements it on anyone who sets foot in the Heartslabyul. Considering you spend most of your time there, you've had to develop a vast vocabulary beyond swearing. Oh - you also unironically use the word 'fiddlesticks' now.

Habits he steals:

Useless Expenses (Inherited): You are an enabler without a doubt. Riddle has always functioned with the bare bones - with function and efficiency being the number one priority. Ever so slowly - you've spoiled him with aesthetically pleasing stationary. At first all the needless purchases felt redundant - why buy the pillowcases with flowers when plain white is cheaper? You can invest in a higher quality this way. Yet you've ruined him with gifts that he had no choice but to use. Now he needs to buy the pens with little hedgehogs on them because studying doesn't feel the same with a plain ballpoint.

Slang Dictionary (Developed): With each passing day, all the students in Heartslabyul get more creative at bending the rules. That includes you. Riddle takes it upon himself to carry a 'little-black-book' full of all the sang words he is unfamiliar with. He does want to be a bit more 'hip' to understand you more, but at the same time he wants to bust any student being a smart-mouth. It's an ongoing battle *sigh*.

"Apologies, could you repeat that term for me? Surely it must be relevant to my lecture if you and Ace are whispering. 'Let him cook'? Do you think we are in a culinary lecture?! Have you not been listening to - ah. So it's in reference to letting me finish before interrupting...One moment. I need to make a note."

Chewing Gum (Developed): This is an ode to psychology. In short, eating is tied to a person's fight-or-flight. Instincts dictate that our bodies need to be in a calm state to eat comfortably. One day when Riddle was at his wits end, you tossed him a pack of sugarless gum and told him to chew. Disregarding Trey's unholy dental screeching, Riddle develops a gum dependence for when he's stressed out. On the bright side, his jaw has never been so sharp.

“Mimicry? You must be mistaken. Even if my influence has affected their person, surely there are only positive developments” == Riddle denies any changes if confronted. In truth, he’s well aware of how much you’ve helped him grow. It’s the opposite accusation that spikes concern. Riddle does not want others thinking you’re a mini-version of him. Rumors are not kind and neither is his current reputation. Making those amends is his burden to bare. He is flattered to see you paying attention to his mannerisms, and secretly proud that your bond is strong enough to affect the psyche.

Habits you steal:

Whistling (Inherited): Trey whistles while working in the kitchen or doing general chores around the dorm. He's not very loud with it, so not may students are bothered. Since you laze about in his shadow the tunes he goes through do become repetitive. Now you do the same when cleaning up Ramshackle. Grim wants to knock you both out because he can't take it anymore.

"Ah -- How'd you know it was me in here? Just because I bake for the un-birthday parties doesn't mean I live in the kitchen, you know. My whistling? Huh. Never thought that would be my calling card but there are worse things, haha"

Head-Scratching (Inherited): Trey's got a habit of scratching the back of his head when he's uncomfortable or nervous. That, or rubbing at the nape of his neck while adverting eye contact. You start doing this too whenever you're being scolded or put in a tough situation.

Dental Hygiene (Inherited): By far the most obvious shared trait. Trey enforces his dental habits onto everyone- you are no exception. You now own four different kinds of floss, two toothbrushes (one being electric), and have a strict hygiene routine. Your pearly whites have never been so clean. Eventually you become somewhat of a secondary enforcer, policing anyone who sleeps over your dorm to take care of themselves before bed. All of Heartslabyul learns that there is no going back when you scold Riddle for not brushing after his teatime tart, and live to tell the tale.

"Hey - uh, weird question? Were you handing out floss to the Spelldrive Team yesterday? Seriously? I though Grim was pulling my leg - oh, no! It's not weird at all! Those guys should have a better routine for all the meat they eat when bulking. I'm just shocked you got through to them." <- Very proud. Mildly cocky. He's been itching to get those negligent jocks to floss after their banquets his entire tenure, but steered away from that conflict like the plague. Thank you for making his dreams come true. Now if you could maybe get them to stop picking their gums with toothpicks?

Habits he steals:

Overbuying Food (Developed): Being a baker's son, Trey's good with finances and money. He's also meticulous with the ingredients he purchases for his bakes. You are not. You go to Sam's shop, buy whatever is on sale, and then bring it back home to improvise. This ends poorly more often than not, and behold! Trey has two Ramshackle sluggers snooping around his kitchen for eats. This is unpredictable and therefore he now never knows what amount to buy. You've ruined him.

Phone Calls (Developed): Texting is easier. Especially since phone calls can be a commitment that Trey dislikes being wrapped up in. Whenever Cater's name pops up as the caller, Trey knows he's getting an ear full. The thing is that you never. answer. your. phone. Either the text gets lumped in with the hundreds of missed messages you have, or Grim stole your cell to play mobile games. So Trey gives up and only ever calls. Either Grim will answer or you'll pick up thinking it's the snooze of your alarm.

"Hello? Prefect, where are you? It's me, Trey. Just calling to see if you're still coming to the Un-Birthday party? Riddle's getting a bit nervous since the schedule's set for the next hour. Grim's already here with Ace and Deuce - uh, want Cater to send a double to pick you up? I have a sinking feeling that you're asleep...Call me? Please?" <- He was correct. You called back not a moment after, half-asleep and hauling ass not to be late.

Speaking in Propositions (Inherited): Trey's normally good at keeping neutrality in a conversation, but getting a clear answer out of Yuu you is like solving a rubix cube. Either it's easy and instant, or a long game. Eventually your habit of indecisiveness rubs off on him and he asks questions more than answers them. Evidently this gets his younger classmen to stop asking for favors unless they really need to.

“Aha - really? I didn’t notice at all. Okay. Okay, I picked up on a few hints. What’s so wrong with them taking after me? It’s cute, right?” == Trey is the observant sort that picks up on his influence quickly. Not just anyone carries floss in their pocket at all times - and the looks from his dorm-mates when you offer some up is enough for the realization to click. Trey’s used to playing the respectable sort, and finds it endearing that you’re taking his good notes to heart. In truth, most of Trey’s mimicry is intentional. He’s a flexible guy who doesn’t mind altering his habits to fit your needs. Easier this way, y’know?

Habits you steal:

Speaking in Acronyms(Inherited): Now this is scary. The first time it happened, you had to take a pause and just re-evaluate your entire life. You don't use them nearly as often as Cater does, but somewhere along the line your brain must have rewired to speak in internet lingo. O-M-G you're TOTALLY twinning with him right now, period :)

Nicknames (Inherited): Again, frightening. You once swore against ever calling him Cay-Cay. It isn't very slay-slay. Yet you can only hear him use nicknames for so long until you're unconsciously calling people by them too. Especially since he's always dishing gossip. It starts in your head, which is fine. It's not like they know. Then you call Lilia 'Lils' and that old fart is just grinning behind his sleeve because ohoho~ young love <3

"Did you just- AHA! OMG DO IT AGAIN?! Wait, gotta get my camera out for this - wha? Oh, that's totes not fair! C'mon. Call me Cay-Cay. Just once! I won't even post it to Magicam, please? Lils won't believe me without proof! Pleasssssseeeee - " <- He actually doesn't want you to call him Cay-Cay all the time. Cater likes you using his given name, since it's more personal. Although the way it obviously slipped out on accident is just too cute to ignore.

Reality TV (Inherited): At first you don't like the gossip. It's cheesy, a bit annoying, and the shaky camera-work for nearly every show is headache inducing. Cater likes his dose of drama in his free-time, and Ramshackle has a tv that no one is using. It starts with him watching while you do other things around the dorm. Yet each time you pass the living area, you take longer to leave. Lingering around like one of the ghosts. Then he pulls you in with snacks and starts giving the low-down of what's going on, pulling out a bottle of tangerine shimmer polish to paint your nails. It's just one episode, watch it for him? Please? Oh no. No. No. Suddenly you're invested in who's the baby-daddy of little Ricky and what Chantel is going to do because her sister just lost the house to foreclosure.

"#KingdomOfDeadbeats - am I right? Ugh. I'm so glad we met if that's the dating scene back home...What?! I know it isn't real! Don't be a dummy, I was just joking! Ah! Stop! Don't hit me!" <- Half-hearted jokes about going on one of those talk-shows one day. You're an alien, after all - imagine the juicy drama and views his account would get from doing an interview? It's all jokes though. Cater likes spilling the tea, but hates being it. Don't ever abandon him and go out for milk though, kay? He doesn't want to pay Grim's child support. Otherwise he might have no choice smh

Habits he steals:

Phone/Web Games (Inherited): Cater's phone is mainly full of social media. He's not too into the gaming scene, it's not his peeps y'know? Alas, you download a few dress-up games and one MMO on his phone. First off - props on getting his phone. That's Cay-Cay's lifeline and not just anyone gets to play with it. Pray tell - what is this Wonderstar Planet (props if you know what is being ref.) and how can he become the most influential digital streamer on it? Congrats. He's addicted.

"Who's this Muscle Red and why's he bombing our raid - AH! He just tea-bagged me! So not cool...Prefect? STOP LAUGHING WE HAVE BETS ON THIS MATCH! There goes my collab opportunity, big fail" <- Muscle Red continues to make an appearance. Eventually he becomes Cater's official rival on stream, and Lils is all to invested in the tea cater drops during club meets. Side note. You're the one who gave 'muscle red' Cater's domain code. The lore thickens.

Internet Caution (Developed): This goes without saying, but Cater's well-known in the Magicam scene. He's very forward and knows his way around using charisma. Since you're not in the scene as much, he becomes more cautious of where and when he does streams. The change is so subtle that only the most observant people will pick up on it - but Cay-Cay doesn't want any creepos popping in if y'know what I'm saying. His sisters were the ones to instigate this change.

“Awe~ SRSLY?! That’s fresh news to my ears but good, right? Ne, are there any clips or pics? I need my evidence, y’see. Especially if my cutie is off taking notes from their one and only. C’mon, spill the tea!” == Cheeky Cater is well aware of what’s happening. He’d humor anyone out for some light teasing - after all, he isn’t by your side at all hours. His walls are probably the second most difficult in all of campus to bypass, so he’s both sweetened and nerved to see you picking up on his mannerisms. That’s proof of a strong attachment, after all.

Habits you steal:

Knuckle Cracking (Inherited): Deuce still does this from his biker days. It could be because joint pain from past fights, or possibly air retention in his knuckles from studying. Regardless, Deuce cracks his knuckles at least once every few hours and you began to mimic him. Some people groan at the popping sounds but it really does feel good to release the tension. Let's just hope neither of you dislocate any fingers on accident.

"Stop that! G-geez, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Thought you broke a finger...your hands are stiff? That just means you're studying a lot! I think...uh, let's break? I think there's some leftovers in the kitchen." <- Deuce 100% gets needing to pop those air bubbles. His hands get stiff from studying all the time, but don't crack them too much or you might dislocate something. Side note - he shows you how to wrap your fingers with a soothing salve. He used to do it after fights, but now it's a great help after class.

Double Notes (Developed): Deuce tries. He really does. Yet the lad just isn't great when it comes to book smarts. Seeing that he is dedicated to turning over a new leaf, you make a habit of copying all your notes. He isn't allowed to share them with Ace or Grim - else all bets are off. Sometimes you leave little 'good job' stickers on the last page for him. Is he a toddler? No. Does he peel the stickers off and save them? Totally. He is a good noodle. Suck it Ace.

Sewing (Developed): He breaks things. Most of the time it's an accident. You've learned to carry a mini-sewing kit for all the rips in Deuce's uniform. Same for mini remedies for stains and other problems. It's not like he's trying to get grass stains all over his under-shirt or to split the seam in his gloves (nearly every week). It just happens, and every time he comes to you with a kicked-puppy look with a promise of it being the last time. It is never the last time.

"Uhm...hun'? It happened again. I'm so sorry for bothering you but Housewarden is going to kill me if he sees the tear in my blazer! Can you fix it?! I can't handle another collar with my exam tomorrow! I need to breathe to focus! - really!? I owe you one! Snacks are on me tonight."

Habits he steals:

Bottomless Stomach (Developed): Have leftovers from dinner? Bring them over. He'll get the tubba-ware back in 1-2 days. Coupon for buy-one-get-one at Sam's? He'll take the extra and polish it off in less than a minute. Deuce becomes a human garbage disposal and is taking the unwanted condiments off your sandwich to eat. Just pick them off and leave 'em on the corner of his lunch plate. Even if he dislikes it, he'll down it so you don't have to.

"Mm. Oh, thanks hun' - its that all you're eatin'? You don't like the steam bun? It is a bit dry, but wasting food is disrespectful to the cooks! I'll finish it for you so have my fruit instead. You still need to eat" <- 10/10 very thoughtful and not picky at all. He is grateful to eat your cooking and will gobble up all leftovers at Ramshackle, but doesn't think twice to sharing meals in the cafeteria. He will notice though if you do not eat enough. Restocks the snack cabinet if he sees it's empty. Is touched if you routinely share things you know he enjoys, like saving half your frittata on purpose.

Early Riser (Inherited): See - even if you hate the mornings, there is no choice at Night Raven College. As Ramshackle Prefect you need to be up to take care of business before class. Deuce becomes your personal alarm clock because he wants some time with you before everyone else joins in. Mind you that he lives with three other dudes who threaten to end him every morning because his alarm wakes them up too. Eventually he can wake up without it, but the time leading is unpleasant.

"W-what? Seriously? I've been trying to be more like them! They're a good person and responsible so I've been trying to follow their example. To think we've been doing the same thing this entire time...." == Why would you ever imitate him? He's been trying his damn best to become an honor student worth respecting, and has a long way to go. To think you're comfortable enough with him to mimic his mannerisms? It's a pipe dream, one he doesn't grasp until it's put right in front of his face. You don't let anyone else pick off your plate other than Grim. The next time his clothes tear, he's already handing off his tie before realizing just what's happening. When you wrap his knuckles after a six-hour lock in at the library? He can't help but feel proud at how neat the bandages are. Suddenly the dark memories of hiding bruised knuckles from his mom are pacified with healing balm. Deuce views this development as a gift, and is grateful. Very, very grateful.

Habits you steal:

‘I owe you’ cards (Inherited): Ace's favorite social invention - the 'solid'. Nothing spells new-low like getting your friends to do stuff in exchange for a favor in the future. Most of the time Ace counts on people forgetting he owes them one, but you're not so gullible. The only difference between you both is that while Ace never fulfills his solid, you have a conscience. Give it a few more years. He'll get ya.

"I know this is the third ticket this week but - Oh! C'mon, cut a guy some slack, would you? I'm sorry for bein' late to our date. Yeah, it was shitty. I'm not trying to fight it, aright? I'm here now so let's have some fun and you can chalk three strikes on my tab. I'll even buy ya some candy - Ah! Okay! Two candies but that's where my charity ends!" <- Evidently, the 'I-owe-you' tabs cancel each other out from how often you both call in favors. It's just an excuse to do acts of service or express apologies without being too mushy. Ace is definitely keeping a track record of them though. Expect an ongoing log that dates back to the week you met, when he showed up homeless, collared, and looking to couch surf.

Profanity (Inherited): Ace swears like a sailor. Maybe not so much in his dorm because *cough* he's being policed. He holds no such reservations when you're both alone at Ramshackle. Unfortunately his potty mouth has a mind of it's own - it taints you, and you are a sham of a prefect. Ace earned a week-long collar for teaching you some Twisted-Wonderland exclusive curses. Riddle is not pleased.

Leaving the Windows Unlocked (Developed): There are only so many times he can sneak in through your window before the adrenaline-induced charm wears off. You have class in the morning, and can't be bothered to deal with him on nights he can't pass out in his dorm. Thank seven you have all of Ramshackle to yourself - because Heartslabyul sounds like a nightmare with the roommate situation. You can't leave the front door open for obvious reasons, but most nights the guest-bedroom window will be left slightly ajar in case he needs a place to crash.

"Pssst! Oi! Prefect! ...ugh, Grim! Wake them up, man! The latch is stuck. Don't go back to bed you furball! HEY! IT'S FREAKIN COLD OUT HERE SO LET ME IN ALREADY" <- Please let him in. If Ace has to spend one more night in that stinky dorm with three dudes, he'll string one of their dirty gym socks over your bed. No mercy.

Sleeping with Earplugs (Developed): Bitch Ace snores.

Habits he steals:

Notes Memo (Developed): Ace is bad with remembering things. Anniversaries? Dates? Allergies? He admits to not putting in a great amount of effort, but you can't say he doesn't try at all. He has a notes block on his phone dedicated to things like your go-to takeout orders and preferences. He even has a few alarms set days before any important events because even if you say no-gifts or plans...yeah, he's not that stupid.

Excessive Yawning (Inherited): You're always tired - it wasn't Ace's problem before but now he does feel a bit guilty. Dragging you into his messes felt different when you were just the prefect, y'know? Regardless, it's human instinct to mimic each other's demeanor so he'll openly yawn all the time - normally in succession of you.

"Hey...you're dozing off again. Am I seriously that boring to hang around? - Nah. Just messin' with you. I'd suggest taking a nap during next period but I doubt a goody-goody like you is gonna take that advice. Let's just ditch juice at lunch and go back to the dorm. Don't get mad if I forget to wake you up though"

Medications (Developed): Ace is the last person to become a human apothecary, but he's always got a pack of pain-reliever meds in his pocket with a few bandages, etc. He also attached one of those tiny capsule bottles to his keyring with some stomach meds inside. You took a spill running laps? Dang man. That sucks. Here's a band-aid for your knee. Curse you for making him the slightly-more responsible one.

"Eh..what, like it's a shock? You saying I'm a bad influence? Cause yeah, that checks. Nothin' I can do if they want to take a card outta my deck though," == Ace is entirely neutral on the topic. He is definitely smug that you're coming over to the dark side, but he doesn't need anyone to point it out. He was your first after all. Maybe the start could have been a bit better - but hey, you came around. It's not like he's hurting anyone by helping build your backbone. Although Ace will instantly deny going soft for you in any way, shape, or form.

[tossawary]

Looking at Kakashi's age at the beginning of "Naruto", I kind of want to make a "He was only 26??? He should have been at the club!!!" type of joke. But my immediate response to that is "The CLUB??? This man should be at the RETIREMENT HOME!!!" and I'm only like half-joking about that.

I think Kakashi could potentially have a great time volunteering at / hanging out at the ninja retirement home. (Statistically, some of them have to make it and/or get injured out of service.) He could be killing it at the cards and dice tables, taking naps on the couch under a pile of his dogs, swapping sexy novels with horny retirees, and complaining with his fellow war veterans about how much his body hurts. You are not getting this man into therapy, but it probably wouldn't hurt him to hang out with a 96-year-old woman who's thrilled to have someone nod along to her rant about how her soap opera radio show isn't bloody enough anymore and the jelly desserts aren't as good as they used to be either, just to put some things into perspective for him. He's so young! And I bet that the retirees would love hearing about his troublesome genin team and LOVE giving him advice of varying quality.

Honestly, I like to imagine that this is what post-canon Kakashi spends some of his time doing. Rokudaime Hokage Kakashi visits some retirement homes as a village leadership duty or because Gai is teaching some physical fitness classes, and this is new for him because he's never really known anyone who made it to retirement before, and Kakashi is almost immediately like, "Oh, fuck yeah, there's an erotic book club here!!! Where has this place been all my life???" He's signing up for water aerobics and the photography club. He's going to gardening shows and painting exhibitions. He's been a soldier since he was, like, 5 or 6 years old, but now he's going to learn how to crochet silly hats for his dogs and he's the celebrity judge for the lawn bowling tournament later. Awesome.

[usoppshoneydew]

Baker! Simon x General store owner! Reader

Baker!Simon first hears of you through the little old ladies that always frequent his bakery( honestly their gossip channel is his best source of intel outside of price and laswell). While he bags their focaccia bread and red velvet cake they tell him about the new store owner moving into the building that's being constructed across the street. They tell him that it'll be a small general goods store with an apartment built above it. He knows all this already of course. The moment he saw the construction crew he asked Price to set up a background check for everything relevant about the new tenant, and didn't receive anything concerning, so now he lets the elders tell him the little details, more for their happiness than his own.

Around recipe swapping he finds out that you're a young woman who received the space through your grandparents. Apparently your grandparents used to live here and they were the ones who told you about it. You'd be arriving in about a week or so, and (they mentioned this more than a few times) you're single and quite the beauty. That doesn't really peak Simon's interest, not being someone that pays a lot of attention to looks anyway. As long as you're not here as a cover for something shady, and you're not a pain in the ass for a neighbor, he's content with the new change. He knows why they keep mentioning those two things. Being tall, large, handsome, and single makes him the most eligible man in this small town, and they do a lot to set him up with anyone he hasn't rejected already. There's no point though, Simon isn't interested in being with someone. He just wants to take his retirement one day at a time.

And he's sure he'll always feel that way, even when your moving day arrives. It's hard to get a glimpse of you through all the movers and the truck parked out front, and any time he does glance through his shop window and see you, it's the back of your head, the patterned wrap you have swirled around it, or your legs sticking out of the truck when you sit to take a break. It doesn't matter to him though, with something new going on in town, everyone is finding a reason to go out, and that means a lot of people are stopping by for a sandwich( meat provided by the butchery Johnny works at) or a muffin. It's only when it's getting later in the afternoon, when things have slowed down, that he gets a proper glimpse of you for the first time. He's wiping down his counters when he hears the chime above his door and that's when he sees you.

He'll admit that you're good looking, pretty in a subtle way but that might just be because you're exhausted, anyone would be after moving to a new place. You don't even pay Simon much mind, using the base politeness to order a veggie sub, likely having not eaten all day, and leave after paying with a small thank you. To Simon it looks like the little old ladies have failed in setting him up once again.

Baker! Simon who's sweeping the front of his store when opening day finally arrives for you. He's seen how busy you've been up until today, setting up the interior and exterior of your store. He saw you place crates outside along with a few flower planters, glanced at you putting up what looked like a selfmade open sign, and even a little cloth canopy over your door during his smoke break, and observed you carrying in wooden planks for shelves while he was waiting for his cake to finish baking.

He takes time to glance over at your store every now and then, just being observant as always, and notices that you don't struggle with business on your first day. That's not surprising though considering how tight knit the community is here, and everyone has been talking about the new store since the construction started. Again the buzz around your business brings customers to his, and Simon can say that he appreciates that much.

You walk into Simon's store again that afternoon and order the same thing you did when you moved in, a veggie sub. You're still tired after a full day of work but there's significantly more energy in your demeanor this time. Instead of leaving after getting your food though, you lean against the counter and introduce yourself to him. Even if he doesn't really want to, he dusts the flour off on his apron and takes your hand in his when you offer it for a handshake. You tell him about how the little old ladies in town have been mentioning him to you a little more than necessary and when he told you he can relate, you laugh a little. He hadn't meant it to be joke but he can't help but smile a little too. Because of the elderly ladies of course, that's all. You don't stay long, letting him know that you've got to clean up for the day, but when you leave you let him know that you enjoyed the food and you'd like to come by for lunch more often, before stunning him with a sweet smile. Simon is embarrassed to say that he didn't get a chance to respond before you walked out and instead just stood there with his heart beating a little faster than usual.

Baker! Simon who doesn't approach you much on his own after that. His heart beating like that earlier had to have been a fluke. He's so confident that he purposely avoids interacting with you more than necessary, because he's so sure that he's not suddenly attracted to you after that small moment you had, after all it's not like he's an easy schoolboy whose opinion changes after some eye contact and palpations of the heart.

He might not be interacting with you but everyone else is. Johnny says he's already been over a few times to check out what you sell. He came across the street to show off the dumb little ghost keychain he bought, only to leave it behind on his counter. Apparently Kyle has interacted with you plenty of times by now. He helped install your shelves and even the little canopy over your entrance and the border of your store. Simon is really surprised when he finds out that you've already asked Price to start selling the apples from his farm in your store. Everyone in town has been in your store but him and Simon won't admit that he feels a way about that.

Baker! Simon who visits your shop for the first time one night after a mishap with a bread knife. Someone above must've had an agenda because Simon has never cut himself while cooking, ever. He's simply too skilled with a knife to ever make a mistake like that, but by some divine intervention he grazes his nail and when he went to look for a bandaid in his office drawer, he was all out. So as much as it embarrasses him to do so, after avoiding you for a week, he trudges across the street to your store.

The moment he walks inside, you look up from the notepad you're writing on and give him a once over, he can see the gears turning in your head, likely wondering if you should greet him or grab the broom in the corner to swing on him with. It's understandable, it's late at night now, he's a large man, and you don't know him all that well. A small part of him is actually relieved respects that you take care to look after yourself, must be nice for your loved ones to know that you don't walk around with your head in the clouds. He knows why you're weary so he's quick to make his intentions known.

“ ‘m just trying to buy some bandaids.” he lets you know and puts his hands up, unintentionally showing you the small cut on his thumb that's still bleeding lightly. You don't blush, well maybe you do but not in the way Simon does, not visibly, but you make a face like you're slightly embarrassed to be caught with your hackles up. Even though he didn't ask you to, you took it upon yourself to grab what he needed, throwing in some peroxide and cotton balls too. He's sure it's just because you don't want him to get blood on any of your merchandise. At least that's what he thought until you rejected his money and bagged up his things nicely. Of course he didn't want you to do that, tries to get you to take it but you tell him to just save you some leftovers, give you a free slice of cake or something. Simon thinks of something better, and offers to let you sell his bread in your store.

Baker! Simon who personally delivers the bread you ordered to your door. He could simply let his new intern carry it across the street, but he wants to make sure it gets to you properly, that's all. Sure, he'll ask how your day is if there aren't many people inside,maybe even do some odd jobs for you, move some crates and bags to the back of the shop, but that's all just being a gentleman really. Who cares if he does all this while you tell him about the series you dropped last night, explaining the entire flawed plot to him from the beginning because he has no idea what show you're talking about.

Baker! Simon who starts to spend more time with you after that. Stopping by your store before you close for a small drink, making you laugh when he goes for a strawberry milk, or you'll go to his bakery for lunch opting to lean against the counter with your food while you both talk about what your regulars have told you today. When you have to keep moving out of the way for customers, he eventually invites you behind the counter to eat, it's nothing but a simple stool to sit on but it's better than standing right? It gets to the point where Johnny jokes that the two of you spend more time at each other's shops than your own.

Baker! Simon who gets Kyle to install a small eating area in his bakery, just so you can sit and chat during your lunch break, thinking you'll be more comfortable with that, a new counter by the window with a couple of barstools lined up, only to feel a little lonely when you sit there instead of behind the counter with him like before. Little does he know, you liked sitting in the back with him more too. Fortunately for both of you, customers fill that area quickly and what do you know? The only place you can sit is behind the counter with Simon.

Baker! Simon who peeks at you through his shop window way more often than he used to,when you're sweeping the front of your store, or watering the plants you have outside. He looks over the most during Golden hour. It's like the sun loves your skin the most during the late afternoon and decides to make it shine. It's so captivating that if Simon isn't careful, you glance over at him and catch him looking at you, and all he can do is go back to his bread with a burning face and ears.

Baker! Simon who keeps his store open just a little longer so you don't close up your shop all alone, keeping close watch for any suspicious characters so that the mace he gave you a while ago will never have to be used.

Baker! Simon, who recommends a recipe for you to try at home and surprises himself with how smoothly he offers to show you how to make it first when you both have time off. You both set up a time before opening hours. You show up early even if you don't have to and it makes Simon's heart act up again. What can he say? He likes when people are punctual.

Baker! Simon who not so subtly asks if you want to start meeting up outside of business hours. Not at the general store and not at the bakery. He starts with group activities, like inviting you and your friends to the camping trip he's got coming up with his boys, or perhaps just dinner at John's house. Then he gets a little bolder and suggests one on one things,maybe a movie at the theater in town or lunch at the restaurant on the far side of town. When you ask him if he's asking you out on a date, he surprises himself again by saying yes, because that's exactly what he's doing. Maybe the old ladies succeeded in setting him up after all.

Taggies: @cookieswithay

[yanderes-galore]

Would you do a yandere Sanji (One Piece) concept?

YES! He's single handedly one of my favorite characters so I hope I get things right!

❗️Some spoilers for Sanji's backstory in Whole Cake Island Arc❗️

Yandere! Sanji Vinsmoke Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Clingy behavior, Submissive yandere, Jealousy, Violence, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Attachment issues/Fear of abandonment, Stalking, Isolation, Delusional behavior, Blood, Implied murder, Brief mentions of marking, Tampered food, Possible cannibalism implied, Possible drugging implied, Forced relationship implied.

Sanji himself can be an intense and clingy yandere due to his past.

He's someone who wants to please, always has been since he was young.

He's had a rough time growing up which affects how he acts with his obsession.

For example, Sanji might be against trapping his obsession in a cell as he knows how it feels.

He's loyal and caring towards you, even self sacrificing like he is with most of the crew.

Sanji would take anything you gave him with a smile.

Which isn't healthy but he doesn't care as long as you pay attention to him.

Sanji works as a romantic yandere most of the time, which is what this concept focuses on.

When he finds someone he loves... He no doubt will do anything to pursue them.

Sanji is probably one of the most affectionate yanderes on the Straw Hat crew.

He's flirtatious, sticking around you while planning ways to earn your attention

Out of all the Straw Hats, Sanji would probably be the most submissive with his obsession.

Don't get me wrong, Sanji isn't always like that.

I'm just saying if his obsession asked him to, the man is on his knees with hearts in his eyes.

Honestly to him, your word is law at times, but he's no pushover.

Sanji will definitely swap his demeanors if you asked him too.

Yet if anyone is around you, he's quick to be an intimidating presence.

Sanji can be a rather controlled yandere despite being intense.

He's possessive and easily jealous though....

Sanji wants to protect and impress his obsession, completely unwilling to watch you throw yourself into danger.

He treats you with manners, like a gentleman despite his pirate origins.

Although, considering his biological family, it makes sense.

Man... He'd do downright anything for your love.

He'll wait for you, defend you, cook for you, anything.

As long as he has your attention, he's a happy man.

Even if you just choose to smile at him or thank him for something, he's swooning.

Sanji might also fall into the pathetic yandere category around you.

However, as I said before, he isn't always like that.

There's times when Sanji will be aggressive, jealous, or overall possessive.

He'd most likely form rivalries with others, especially Zoro.

He loathes the idea of Zoro winning your heart over him.

He's not even a gentleman who's willing to observe and tend to you!

Sanji, while acting like a gentleman, can sometimes be a creep.

He stalks you, yet never likes to admit that's what he's doing.

He's a bit delusional, telling you he just... want to attend to you?

He's your bodyguard now, like it or not.

At first you don't mind because, well, the crew has a tendency to be targeted by others.

Yet you can't excuse the rumors you hear of Sanji rummaging through your clothes or belongings in general.

You just seem to know it's him when things go missing.

He probably won't really want to admit to it when you confront him either.

He might stop when you tell him to... but no promises.

If Sanji was obsessed with something, he'd probably practice being dedicated to you.

He hasn't loved someone as intense as he does with you.

It's strange for the crew to see Sanji indifferent to a pretty lady, instead focusing on you.

Normally he's a big flirt... yet it looks like you've charmed him.

It's interesting how fast Sanji can swap his behavior around you.

Sanji could be over protective or worked up over you.

Maybe he's having an argument or overall just fighting with someone else about you.

But once everything is taken care of, he's practically on his knees in front of you like he's yours to command.

Sanji could go from kicking someone half to death... to kissing you senseless.

Everything he does is for you when he's obsessed.

Even if you turned him down, even if you said you weren't ready to date...

He'll patiently wait for you, all while being incredibly clingy like usual.

Now, would Sanji kill over you?

Usually Sanji knows when to stop.

He'd probably get into fights or hurt someone bad... but usually they can recover.

However... If Sanji snapped, probably due to seeing you hurt or taken from him...

He'd snap, see red, and by the end of it is probably covered in blood.

Sanji sees no issue with this if it's for you.

It's ironic considering his father deemed him a failure for not being an emotionless assassin.

Sanji is far from emotionless, in fact he has no shame in expressing himself around his crew.

Yet the man sometimes acts like an assassin if it means he's protecting who he loves.

He hates scaring you though, often coming up to you to check if you're alright.

Even if his suit is wet with blood.

Towards most, his jealousy starts small.

He grumbles a bit or gets moody.

Although, if he feels you're getting too close to someone else, he steps in.

Even if you aren't dating, he acts like you are.

Could be his delusions, could be him just trying to scare others off...

It's unclear, really.

He'd never harm his own crew too badly but he may get in fights with those not a part of the Straw Hats.

Like someone flirting with you on the street or something? That would be enough to set Sanji off.

But murder... well... that's reserved for if he thinks he'll lose you.

Something he doesn't think he could ever accept.

Sanji has different ways of displaying affection.

It always seems to be intimate in a way, but the intensity depends on his mood.

Most of the time his affection is soft, gentle, and loving...

He likes to pull you aside in private to pepper you in kisses.

He wants to cuddle you, to show you he can be the perfect man for you.

He'll hold you close in a hammock, tell you that you're the only one for him.

He's gentle when he kisses your lips, like you're porcelain.

He'd let you take the lead if you wanted just to see you happy.

He wants you to want him too.

If he's jealous, his affection is rougher.

He nips your skin a bit and often takes the lead.

He tries not to harm you, yet at the same time he wants to show everyone you're his.

He desperately wants someone to love him back for who he is.

In fact, while Sanji would probably attempt to change himself to have you love him... if you accepted him for who he is?

He's surprised... yet is completely enamored.

All Sanji wants is for you to accept him, to be your lover.

He yearns for love as he was rather isolated when younger.

Now he's scared once he has you he can lose you.

He'd never lock you away... but he'd never leave you alone either.

He doesn't want you to leave him which is why he's so submissive towards you.

Just tell him what you want... He'll do it.

If you want me to drop some more twisted things, Sanji insists on being the one to cook your food.

Which would, y'know, allow him to slip things in?

This is rare, but if Sanji is delusional enough, I can see him putting a drug in your food...

Or even a part of him if you want to go down that route.

That seems a bit too OOC... yet it's possible, depending on how dark you want to make him.

He doesn't want to breach your trust... yet curiosity may get the better of him.

Point is, yandere Sanji can either be sweet, submissive, and insecure who wants to protect you and jealous... or a total creep if you want to go down that route.

Regardless, in his own delusional little way, Sanji adores you.

He'd spoil you with affection and gifts...

He'd make sure you know he's the only one you can love.

Overall, he can probably be a sweet boyfriend...

If you don't look into his more creepy behavior.

[lonicera-caprifolium]

Body-swap theory!!

okay, just putting this all together for ease of access, since it's been spread out across several posts now--

The day after it aired I watched the ending like actually 30 times and I became fully 99.999999% certain they switched places. I was initially thinking during the kiss, cuz of how the camera angle changes, but after watching an additional 20 times a few days later, I'm personally leaning much more towards them stopping time in the instance after "no nightingales".

Before the kiss, Aziraphale is saying "nice" things about the Metatron, but his face and voice keep switching to broadcasting distress, and they make it a point to show in ep 1 that Crowley can read him just from tone of voice

As they're pulling away after the kiss, they lock eyes and "Aziraphale's" expression shifts in the teeniest tiniest way, like a confirmation glance, before they shift back (and Michael Sheen is a master, so no chance it's not on purpose)

---(Like really, go back and watch how Aziraphale's expression shifts literally *a second* before "I forgive you" cuz the change is SO minute, but entirely different emotionally.)

Also the way he moves his jaw right after he pulls his hand away from his lips, is a bit from MS's Crowley (you can see it in the very last two seconds of this vid- link)

Aziraphale's hands -stay by his sides- after that, he doesn't clasp them at all, and it's particularly noticeable while he's walking to the elevator with Metatron. The way he walks is very stiff and precise, similar to after the swap in S1.

We don't see the underside of Crowley's jacket collar after the kiss, at any point (it is for sure red at the beginning of the ep, you can see it right before he changes in Heaven)

The Bentley drives away SLOWLY, which is how Aziraphale drives, and we're specifically shown that it only plays other music for Aziraphale

the seats in the Bentley are black as it drives away. They're usually brown, and the only other time they're shown to be black is when Aziraphale drives (@picturesque-about-it broke down the times so you can see-link)

---extra pic for anyone saying it's "cuz Aziraphale is lighter"-- the seats are still brown behind Crowley when he wears white

there's people wearing yellow in -every- part of the scene showing the Bentley both before and while it drives away! (link for pics/credit)

Aziraphale's smile in the elevator looks more like MS's Crowley. It's very similar to the trial during S1, but also (link)

This also explains why they're on opposite sides than they're usually shown while the end credits roll

Extra points--

many good points made by other folks here, about cues and snakes in beehives and swap motifs throughout the season-- link

The clock! Someone mentioned how the scene is so quiet you can hear it ticking, so I watched the ending a further 50 times to double check----I need to preface this by stating, I don't think this is a working clock, mainly cuz the hands aren't 100% where they should be between the minutes and the hours, like -a person- moved them to that time manually

When they're talking, the clock is at approximately 9:25 (?, again the hour hand isn't precisely set), then they walk across the room, and kiss, and immediately after that the clock is set about 15-ish minutes later (link to timestamps)

thanks to these bts shots, we can see that the clock on the opposite side of the room registers the SAME time difference before and after the kiss (link)

the first time Aziraphale looks "towards the window", I'm petty sure he actually looks further back towards the clock, *focuses on it* as Metatron walks up to him, and then spends the ENTIRE REST OF THE EXCHANGE blocking the Metatron's view of the clock

we're shown earlier in the season that Crowley can localize his time-stopping to a certain extent, like when he stopped the doctor and the rest of the room kept going, so it is possible he only stopped everything -outside- of the bookshop

---I KNOW Neil said it's a continuity error, but he also fully said "No" about there being a season 2 just days before they announced it was already written and in production, so. Take him at his word if that's what you wanna do.

---also I DID go back and look it over, and the clock IS consistently specifically set the entire rest of the episode as far as I can see. From the shots when you have a clear view of the clock, the angels and demons enter the shop at around 6, Maggie and Nina leave at around 7, the Metatron comes in at 8-ish, Aziraphale comes back in at that approximately 9:25

(insight from someone who works in production- link)

the music right before the kiss scene is the same leitmotif (Life After Death) used when they originally started formulating the swap in season 1! (link)

the movie Stairway to Heaven (1946) is featured as a poster in both the opening credits and in Maggie's shop (link)

the climax of the film has one of the leads willing to "take the place" of the other in heaven

(they also used a time-stopping mechanic, and the chess book Gabriel tests gravity with also plays a key role in the film)

and one last mention, extra food for thought--- the season's focus on their trusting one another, their history of performing "death (and heaven/hell) defying" feats together, and how they always get the trick right when it truly counts the most

that's what I've got so far!

If I'm right, they're apart now, but are actually more together then ever, and I find that terribly exciting. (And if I'm wrong, that's okay too! I'm just here to have fun.)

I'm not particularly concerned with very specific reasoning (that's for season 3 to tell us!), but I do think this theory is extra fun cuz pretty much any of the others could be the "why" driving it.

I'm not trying to convince anyone, or put down any of the other theories, so if you're not feeling it, that's okay! I'm just sharing what clues I'm seeing, so you can check if you see them too. 💕

[derangedanomaly]

‪‪❤︎‬ AU SANSES HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU ‪❤︎‬

(Classic, Swap, Fell)

CLASSIC:

He would probably push his feelings aside, thinking that it's just some fling of his, until he started to care very deeply for you. Like, highly worried for your well-being. Which was an instant sign for him that this isn't just some fling.

He would play it off cool when the realization hits him though. You wouldn't find out until he would confess to you. He would be acting like he has zero feelings for you, but the moment you turn around...he blushes like crazy and tries to calm himself down. It's really silly from anyone else's perspective though.

He gets really excited whenever anyone mentions your name, it's gotten to the point where he looks like a fanboy of you.

He sometimes rants about you to Grillby. He can go on for hours, talking about you. Grillby's getting real tired of this, he once kicked him out for ranting for so long.

You're sometimes confused about his emotions towards you, he's giving such mixed signals... You asked him about this one time, but all he said, was; "Sorry, gotta get to Grillby's!" And disappears very quickly.

In conclusion, Sans is absolutely enthralled by you, but doesn't let it show.

SWAP:

He's very much aware of his feelings towards you since the start, but values your friendship too much to ruin it.

Since he's the future royal guard, he thinks he wouldn't have time for you if you got together. He's also fully convinced that his feelings are one-sided... :(

After he joined the star sanses, he was even more busy and didn't have as much time for you anymore. He missed you even more because of this outcome.

Don't get it twisted, he was happy to be helping so many people! But he felt so un-happy inside...sure, he was smiling at everyone, being a people-pleaser, but these smiles were very much fake.. he didn't see the purpose of smiling if you weren't the one he's smiling at..

He also felt so guilty that he couldn't tell you about his job as a star sans, feeling awful for lying to you...but one day...it accidentally slipped from his mouth... After your long persuadation, he finally caved in and explained everything to you in great detail, feeling relieved that he finally told you.

In short, Swap loves you, but thinks you don't feel the same way... Give him a hug! >:(

FELL:

When Fell realizes he's got a crush on you, the first thing he does is run away from you. Which was really funny to suddenly see his pupils widen and then him immediately running away.

He feels so weak for that. He believes he could've handled the situation better..oh well.

After that day, Fell was way more nervous around you than normally. He also sweated a ton more...which was kinda... disgusting.

Everyone thinks that Fell would immediately flirt with you, but... When Fell first met you, he would flirt with you just for the fun of it, but after he realizes his feelings towards you...he gets, strangely, shy..? It's actually really cute...from your side. Fell feels weak acting like this. He hates it.

You make him so shy just by your presence that the player sometimes takes advantage of that, to distract him. Just mentioning your name is enough to make his skull flash red.

He literally turned from bad boy persona to simp.

His brother thinks he should already confess to you so he can get rid of his feelings. In his opinion, it makes him weak. Even more weaker than before.

He loves you really, but he just can't admit it.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Body swap through time Kakashi and Tobirama at like, ages 12/13ish

Kakashi wakes up as Senju Tobirama at the height of the Uchiha/Senju conflicts

Tobirama wakes up as Kakashi in the lead up to the Kyuubi incident

They're actually alarmingly similar in skill level and personality, so they're able to get away with the switch on a surface level, even to those who know them well. But problems very quickly arise when it comes to fighting or anything that requires knowledge of history

""Tobirama"" taking to the field with a totally different skill set and jutsus than he's ever used before (Izuna is taken so off guard, it gets bad, fast)

""Kakashi"" suddenly does not seem to respond to any ANBU signals or codes, and where as before he was a shoe in for becoming an ANBU captain he suddenly seems to be fucking up at every other opportunity. You'd think the guy WANTS to lose his job with how suddenly awful at it he is, but he's Kakashi. There is no world where that kid fucks anything up on purpose

They're both definatley in a "holy shit I can NOT tell anyone ab this" position— Kakashi would probably be fr killed as an imposter, and while Tobirama would probably be ok (especially since Minato would be in charge of his detainment n stuff) he doesn't know that?? As far as he's aware, he is in enemy territory and will act accordingly.

Kakashi doesn't know how tf to interact with Tajima or Hashirama, but especially Tajima. He probably uses the wrong forms of address for people bc Tobirama uses more old fashioned honorifics than Kakashi is used to (Anija/Chichuie vs Nii-san/Otou-san)

Kakashi refusing to kill Uchiha bc like, village loyalty fuck you. Also just in general he probably has feelings ab killing anyone with a sharingan on multiple levels. But not just not killing them but going out of his way to help— these aren't his Uchiha, yeah, but it definatley fucks him up to see ANY uchiha die when all his life Uchiha = konoha = his people

Oooo, Kakashi instinctivley channeling chakra through Tobirama's eye after a solid couple years of getting used to the sharingan, possibly accidentally doing,,, something there. Idk what tho but SOMETHING

Meanwhile Tobirama is in that stupid fucking village of his brothers (that he will not shut up about, especially at that specific age) and its???? Real??????? It worked?????????? Huh.

He's surrounded by Uchiha and can't find any Senju (Tsunade just left the village rip Tsunade) but if he investigates it looks like the Senju died out naturally? Impossible, it has to be some kind of Uchiha plot—!

Hes also struggling to come to terms with there being a STOLEN SHARINGAN IN HIS FUCKING EYE !!!!!!!! Made extra super fucked up by the difference in intense hatred and taboo of bloodline theft in modern/warring era (with it being even more taboo in the warring states, like THE ultimate evil to any shinobi)

Maybe he, as Kakashi, is supposed to go to like special Uchiha class where they teach him ab the Uchiha n stuff bc of the eye, and Tobirama is sitting there eating all this shit UP (enemy intel!!!) But also, like, lowkey brainwashed kid brought up to do nothing but kill this one specific group of people, literally being forced to at least pretend to embrace their culture. He's in such a unique position to learn from and about them, and it'll probably end with him being some kind of sympathetic.

It helps that in modern Konoha, where the Uchiha may be considered overly traditional/religious, that's actually just Tobirama's normal. So there's also this added layer of "being around the Uchiha feels the closest to home / least strange than being around literally anyone else" which just pisses him off even more tbh

I'm tempted to say that somehow Rin is still alive just so I can have that one specific Rin and Kakashi queerplatonic codependent relationship from my other post, and then Rin being the one to finally notice that Kakashi isn't Kakashi anymore

Both Tobirama and Kakashi kind of piecing together the life stories of each other, immersed in eachothers histories and paths without ever directly interacting even once. Constant wonderings ab what the other boy was like / might do here, and if they're really so similar that no one has noticed the switch and all those implications (bc on one hand, that's good!! But on the other hand uhh— has anyone at home noticed...? Bc if not, fucking ow??? But also like, probably for the best tbh.)

[theoceansluvr]

Multi-Character x Nerd! Reader

warning; none except my endless yapping !! author's notes; *comically loud gulp* it's finals season so i decided to drop this before grinding my grades and whatnot😿 gave all the characters different random interests of mine sooo yay !

PERCY JACKSON- Flowers

i like to think percy is pretty neutral about flowers; not his favorite, but doesn't hate them

but when you stepped into the picture ? ALLLLL of that changed !

probably has a flower language book sitting on his bedside table just because of you to be totally fair

because of you, he buys really specific colors (or asks the Demeter cabin to grow him some) of flowers for you because of their meanings

for example, he ABSOLUTELY got you yellow tulips when he asked you out :3c

as much as he's a blue guy, he knows what they stand for (hopeless love) and thought it'd be sweet

sometimes you name a flower he knows NOTHING about like what on earth is an azalea ??

listens to you carefully regardless since he finds it cute how often you ramble about why orchids are associated with royalty

received flowers for the first time from you and he's kept them ever since, claims it's because he keeps forgetting to get rid of them but he's just a sap like that

very supportive of your interests and WILL stay up for hours to hear you talk !

ANNABETH CHASE- Astronomy

at first she thought you were talking about astrology and wasn't all that interested, but then she saw the massive amount of books you had on the stars and understood

dare i say she takes you on stargazing dates where you just point out all the constellations and all the stars we'll never see

has watched about 8 space documentaries in one week, and still isn't tired of it

also ! when ever she's drafting up home designs, she ALWAYS puts a room with a glass ceiling or balcony so you can put your telescope there

she swears it's just for the visuals but she not very good at hiding it(i love you sappy annabeth chase <9)

bought you one of those little star projectors when you guys moved into New Rome !

you guys also made paper lanterns of all the planets + pluto and hung them up on the ceiling since you rarely get to go out much one you go to college

speaking of pluto.. you guys didn't speak for three days over an argument over the basis of it being a planet or not. annabeth refuses to say it is because scientifically it's not, but you say it is because "emotionally it's a planet to me !" (real conversation i've had btw)

takes you to the planetarium whenever you guys have the spare time mainly just to see to get all animated over all the facts you've probably already told her

she absolutely adores you no matter how many times she's heard about all the dwarf planets..

CONNOR STOLL- Comics

deep in my heart he's a flash or spiderman nerd, so it's perfect !

safe to say, if you like anyone else, you guys might dispute who the best superhero is every other day- lovingly of course !

dates probably consist of walking around comic books shops and talking about your favs or reading them in your cabin

swapping off comics whenever you finish one so you can talk about them

has absolutely stolen merch for you on numerous occasions because he can he let the love of his life go without that batman mug ?

definitely makes up insane theories about what happens whenever his favorite character dies..

"no, no, no, he's gonna come back in the next one, trust me !" "con.. he literally blew up." "SO DID JASON TODD BUT HERE WE ARE"

dare i say y'all have matching spider man and gwen or batman and catwoman keychains ?

you probably got him really into young justice on accident because you mentioned him reminding you of wally west(PLS TELL ME SOMEONE SEES THE VISION-)

honestly, you guys are just nerd for nerd but he won't admit to it as easily

LEO VALDEZ- Sharks

scratch what i said about connor being nerd for nerd, you and leo are THE nerd for nerd couple !!

made you a wind up shark toy as a gift because he was bored, and it was basically a marriage proposal to you

has definitely fallen asleep to you talking about sharks before ! not out of boredom, just because he likes your voice

moving on ! y'all know those cardboard sharks people were making ? well, he made you a metal version of your favorite shark !

takes you to aquariums whenever he can, which is rare, but he thrives off of hearing you get excited.. like a kid in a candy store

he also has a crazy supply of gummy sharks in the bunker now for whenever you come over

he has also made you shark shaped string lights because why would he ever let you buy anything ?!

let's you cover his well, everything with shark stickers ! workbench ? sure ! festus ? might protests, but if festus like it, alright !

you told him he'd be a hammerhead shark, and he now has a keychain of one on his belt loop at all times

he rambles to you about mechanics, so in turn you talk about sharks; it's a win-win situation :3c

YAYYYYY PSOTING AGAIN AND IT'S ABOUT MY INTERESTS !!!! this was actually in the drafts for a minute and WAS supposed to drop saturday but i got impatient- love y'all and uhh see you after finals !

[megalony]

Fright Night

This is my Halloween Evan Buckley imagine, which I have written as part of the Call Me Dad series.

It's been a while since I wrote this series, but I want this to stand as the next part in the series rather than a spin-off.

I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

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@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22 @mrsyixingunicorn10

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Call Me Dad masterlist

Summary: Evan isn't too happy that he has to work Halloween and can't take the kids out. But his day goes from bad to worse when the team are called to an incident, and his family are involved.

(Season 8 spoilers)

Enjoy.

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"Are you working it this year?" The apprehension in (Y/n)'s voice was paramount and when she looked over her shoulder at her husband, she watched his expression change.

Evan's lips rolled together and the deep breath he took told (Y/n) he didn't really want to give her the answer to that question.

She nodded to his wordless response and turned to get something from the fridge. She had a feeling Evan would be working, he usually was. Holidays and bank holidays were busy nights for the emergency services and that meant not many people could have the shift off. First come, first serve and even then, not everyone got lucky. Sometimes no one was allowed off, it just depended on the situation at the time.

"Baby, I'm sorry-"

"It doesn't matter, I was only asking." (Y/n) shrugged and shook her head while her back was still to him. It was easier to brush things off and try to carry on if she didn't have to look at Evan's saddened expression. The sympathy in his eyes always broke her down and made her relent.

(Y/n) knew it wasn't Evan's fault. He worked Christmas last year because they had been short-staffed and so Eddie could be home with Chris. He worked New Year because that was always a date he put his name down for as they didn't really celebrate it. And he had even had to work (Y/n)'s birthday this year because he couldn't find anyone to swap the shift with him.

She didn't mind. As long as he could try and get the kid's birthdays off, (Y/n) would take everything in her stride. She had begged him to try and ask for Christmas off this year and ask early because it wasn't fair on the kids if he had to work again and they wouldn't see him all day.

But this was the same. This was Halloween, when the kids loved to dress up and go out and Evan always dressed up with them. They all loved this holiday but now it meant Evan wouldn't be able to help the kids get dressed or see them go out trick or treating.

"Baby please…"

When Evan's hand found her arm, (Y/n) shut the fridge and turned round so she was facing him. She let him nudge her back until her hips were pressed into the counter and he was blocking her in with no escape.

Both his hands found her hips and his head tilted to one side, showing off all the sorrow and sympathy hidden within those blue eyes. He leaned closer until their temples were touching and (Y/n) folded her arms over her chest, resting them on her bump.

"I asked, but Hen's already got it off to be with Mara and we're gonna be busy." Evan knew it wasn't an excuse and he wasn't trying to put any blame on anyone else.

He was a little upset that Hen got to have the day off. He understood it was Mara's first Halloween with them, but it wasn't like she was the only one with kids. Eddie had Chris, and he was having to work. Evan had three kids and now he was having to work too.

He just hoped Hen hadn't already asked for Christmas this year with the same reasoning that it would be Mara's first Christmas with them. Evan wasn't missing out on another Christmas with his kids, especially not when (Y/n) would be eight months pregnant by Christmas. He wasn't working and leaving her to do everything and look after the kids on her own.

"Evan, I get it. I just- Maddie's working too, I've gotta take the kids by myself. But I'll make it work."

Maddie was involved with the kids, they were closer to her than to their grandparents and whenever she was off she would take them out. And on holidays like this she would try and help look after them. But Maddie was working Halloween at dispatch this year.

It meant (Y/n) was going to be trailing the streets with all three kids while also supposed to be taking things easy after the placental abruption. And she wouldn't complain. She wasn't going to tell the kids they couldn't go out because that wasn't fair, she had simply hoped Evan might be off to come with them this year.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry baby, really I am."

When Evan pressed his lips to the side of her temple, (Y/n) could feel her resolve fading away. Her arms uncrossed and her hands moved to grip his shoulders while she tilted her head forward into his chest.

"I wanted to be home with you, you're not meant to be doing too much." His lips stayed meshed against her temple while his hands squeezed her hips and moved round to cup her stomach.

Evan felt bad. He felt like he was always leaving (Y/n) to do everything on her own and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to be working and be away from the kids during the celebrations like this and miss seeing them dressing up and going out. And he didn't want to be away from (Y/n) when she hadn't been well and might need him.

"We're doing a scare maze at the station this year, I'll bring the kids down to see it and they can get some sweets and pictures. Then at least I can tell them they can't go out for long trick or treating."

The team were excited to be able to dress up the station and do some scary events for the community. Evan could bring the kids down before the public came to see, that way they could look around and Josie and Cole wouldn't get too frightened. And they could get some sweets and look around, and they wouldn't be too annoyed if Evan told them they were only allowed to go out for an hour trick or treating. So it wasn't too much for (Y/n).

"Thank you."

"Oh, and who do we have here?" Bobby folded his arms over his chest and stepped away from the scare maze the team had constructed in just a few hours. He moved the cape that was hanging over his arms so it flapped behind his shoulders and smiled as he watched Evan walk into the station.

He had helped set the maze up earlier and then went to get the kids so he could bring them down for a while.

"You must be the Devil," He crouched down so he was in front of Josie, admiring the costume she had on which looked very cute.

She had a red top on, a sparkly black tutu, black and red striped tights and a tail attached to her tutu. And in her hand she had a small plastic red pitch fork. Her hair was tied up in a pony tail and she had some red horns stuck onto the headband she was wearing. The outfit looked very sweet yet cunning at the same time and the cheeky frin on her face made it all match perfectly.

Josie nodded enthusiastically before she looked Bobby up and down. "Dracula?" She murmured to which he nodded and let her rush over to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him.

"And who's this?"

"He's a ghost." Josie stayed tucked into Bobby's arm but she turned to face her little brother who was glued into Evan's side.

Cole had white face paint on with black circles painted around his eyes and he had an old white sheet draped over his white pyjamas with a circle cut out in the middle so his face could pop through. It was plain and simple but when he flapped his arms at his sides beneath the sheet, he looked the part.

The team had gotten to know Evan's kids, especially Chimney and Eddie since the kids now called Chimney their uncle and they thought of Eddie and Chris as family too. They all knew Cole barely spoke and he would cling to his parents for security and safety.

The four year old stayed quiet but he managed a bright smile when Evan held his hand and let him lean into his leg.

Bobby pushed up to his feet but let Josie take his hand and stick to his side and he grinned at Evan while he looked for the eldest Buckley child.

James was a few paces behind, taking in the surroundings and how different the station looked. It was like they had walked into an escape room rather than a fire house. He loved it. He tilted his head back to look up at the decorations hanging from the beams above them.

But when his foot caught on the table beside him, he stumbled and felt his dad quickly reaching out to grab his upper arm.

"Glasses on." Evan muttered with half a smile pulling at his lips as James stood at his side with a huff and his eyes cast on the floor.

"What kind of mummy wears glasses?"

"The kind who can't see without them." Evan retorted with a knowing look. James had decided he wanted to be a mummy this year, but Evan knew it was because his ribs were still broken and he was feeling down about it.

He had bandages bound around his chest to bind his ribs and help keep them in place and feel a bit better. So James decided he may as well go with the theme and be an Egyptian mummy. (Y/n) had helped him fray and dye some old bandage rolls from the station and cover them with dust and little bits of sand to make the outfit work.

"Do you wanna be the first ones to test out the maze?" Bobby pointed behind him to the start of the maze which had three main sections, and then at the end there would be a bowl of sweets for them to dip into.

"Can we?" James looked from Bobby up to his dad who smiled and nudged him forwards.

"Go ahead, but don't take all the sweets at the end please."

Evan watched James take Josie's hand and let her drag him towards the beginning of the maze and he couldn't help the small chuckle that left his lips. It was going to be Josie dragging James around the maze, and if the eldest didn't put his glasses on, he wouldn't really be scared because he wouldn't know what he was looking at.

"He won't see without his glasses, so he won't be frightened." He muttered softly as he looked over at Bobby. He watched his captain curiously as Bobby looked him up and down and took in his appearance.

"Didn't you have a 'stache?"

Evan's face broke out into a grin when he watched Bobby point to his upper lip. Evan had dressed as a cowboy, simple jeans and plaid shirt and a cowboy hat to finish the look. But Bobby distinctly remembered Evan had on a fake, bushy moustache earlier before he went to get the kids.

"Someone ripped it off." His eyes darted down to Cole who was none the wiser, stood drifting in his own little world for the time being.

Evan had indeed worn the fake moustache earlier, and James had found it highly amusing, as did Josie. But as soon as he picked Cole up and gave him a kiss, the four year old tore it from his face and chucked it on the floor. He didn't like it. He wasn't used to seeing his dad with any sort of facial hair and it had disgruntled him.

"Do you want to take a look with me?" Evan wasn't so sure Cole would want to go in, he was scared easily. But if he knew no one else but his siblings were in there and he went in with his dad, he might like to look around. He was very sensory and always loved looking at decorations for Halloween and Christmas.

Cole nodded but instead of walking towards the entrance, he twisted to look up at Evan and held his arms out expectingly.

He didn't like walking, he always wanted to be carried no matter where they were or where they were going. Evan suspected it was a sensory and comfort thing, his boy felt safe when he was being carried around.

Leaning down, Evan scooped Cole up into his arms and settled his little ghost on his hip. He kissed his temple and walked ahead to the maze where Bobby moved the curtain so they could walk inside. The beginning was fairly simple. Black and purple drapes everywhere and some glow in the dark footprints on the floor along with a few traces of fake blood splattered about.

When they walked into the next room, there was a table set up with fake equipment like needles, scalpels, scissors and a fake, broken bone saw. Everything was layered in fake blood and illuminescent paint to make it glow in the dim lighting.

And stood there in the corner was Hen with a wig that was sparking off in all directions, a lab coat lathered in paint and blood and a needle in her hand. Her make up was great, curtesy of Karen who had done Eddie's make up too.

"Are you my next patient?" The tone of Hen's voice was softer than it had been when James and Josie walked in. She knew she could play a game and scare them, but she didn't want to frighten Cole.

"No!"

Cole twisted his head so his chin was perched on Evan's shoulder and he was looking over his dad's back, facing away from Hen. His legs started to swing into Evan's chest and he fidgeted in his arms, binding both arms around his dad's neck to cling to him tighter. He wasn't impressed.

"Okay, next one." Evan soothed and rubbed his hand up and down Cole's back as he walked into the next room.

Evan felt his youngest start to quake in his arms when he heard the music and saw how dark this room was. Maybe Cole wasn't the best to show round here, Evan thought he might be alright because no one else was looking round here to egg him on or frighten him even more.

The four year old twisted his head to look around, but he jerked in Evan's hold when Eddie popped out from behind a back drop.

Before Eddie had chance to growl or make a noise, a low whine left Cole's lips and he began to cry. His face tucked into Evan's neck and he stuffed his hand into his mouth, morphing the sound of his cries while Eddie quickly tore the wig from his head.

"It's only me, buddy."

"And I think we're done with the maze. It's okay, let's grab some sweets." Evan cupped the side of Cole's head and kissed his temple while he pushed through the curtain on his right to exit the maze. He didn't want to take Cole into the last two rooms and have Chimney frighten him to his core. Getting out now was the best idea for him.

He weaved around the back of the tents that made up the maze until he found James and Josie running out of the last room, laughing and panting.

Evan tried to let go of Coles face so he could reach into the large dish holding all of the sweets ranging from chocolates to gooey string. But Cole gripped his wrist and held his hand in place against his face. Clearly the comfort was making him feel better.

"All over," Evan murmured against his temple and bounced him on his hip before he looked over at his other two kids who were rummaging around for their favourite sweets. "Was it good?"

"The best."

"Can we go round again in a bit?"

"Sure-"

"No!" Cole's head shook against Evan's neck until he felt his dad chuckling and quietly shushing him.

"Not you, you're staying with me buddy, I need someone to guard the sweets."

If the kids wanted to stay for a while and go through the maze again when some of the public came in, that was fine. Evan was supposed to be stationed here at the sweet table at the end of the maze so Cole could stay with him until it was time to go home.

"Just remember you're staying here with me for a while which means you only go out with mum for a little while tomorrow, because I'm working. Mum's gotta be careful."

Evan was glad Bobby had said the kids could stay for as long as they liked. The Captain knew they were all well behaved and would most likely help out too which was always a bonus. The station wasn't taking any calls today so the community could come in and out as much as they liked so the kids could play and have some lunch here. And it meant Evan got to be with the kids for a little bit of Halloween, even if the festivities were technically tomorrow.

He was getting to see them dressed up today so he didn't miss out while he was working tomorrow. And it meant the kids got to have some fun and (Y/n) didn't get stressed or do too much with them tomorrow. Now she was having twins and hadn't been well, she had to take it easy.

***

Evan rolled his neck from side to side, clicking it into place as he jumped down from the truck and moved to stand beside Bobby.

This didn't look good.

They hadn't been told what scene they were arriving to, dispatch only said that someone had been on the phone and then got into a traffic accident. This looked more than a little accident; it looked horrific.

Crowds were already trying to gather round and see what was going on, but nobody dared to get too close.

There were tyre tracks on the road, great black streaks on the concrete leading up to a beaten up silver Ford. It had veered off the road, plowed straight over someone's lawn, smashed up their front steps and was now imbedded into the wall of their house, resting on their porch. The frame of the porch was starting to creak already and Evan gave it five minutes before it started to sway and the house foundations began to give in.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Bobby's hand moved out towards the two teenage girls shakily hurrying over to them. Both girls looked relatively fine if they had been involved in this accident, no cuts bruises or broken bones. They were just shaken up.

"He- he drove after us, he hit o-our car and skidded. He hit a boy." One of the girls pointed towards the porch as Bobby's lips faltered.

There was a victim up there other than the driver?

"Okay, Eddie, Buck start working on a structure to keep that porch from collapsing. Chim, Hen we need to check these victims."

Evan nodded and took a step to the side, there was a lot of wood from the picket fence and the destroyed front porch that they could use to keep the structure from collapsing. They would have to prop it up so they could winch the car out and get to whoever was trapped.

"Why don't…" Whatever Evan was about to say faded on the tip of his tongue when he looked ahead of him.

He recognised one of those voices mixed into the growing crowd around them. He knew that high-pitch cry.

"Daddy!" A loud wail followed Cole's voice and his arms flung out in front of him as he bolted from the pavement across the vacant road towards his dad/ He spotted him straight away. Cole could always spot his dad in a crowd and right now, he needed him more than anything else.

"Cole?" An icicle of dread pierced into Evan's heart and he moved away from the truck, opening his arms to scoop up his son as soon as he was close enough. He picked him up and cradled him into his chest, cupping the side of Cole's face so he could check him over.

Evan's eyes were wide and frantic as he noticed Cole's minimal face paint was smudged. Tear tracks were smeared down his cheeks leaving runny black trails from the make up around his eyes that was fading from all the tears. And his little boy was shaking in his shoes like he had been electrified.

"Daddy's here!" Josie's croaky voice caught Evan's ear and he shifted Cole into his left arm so he could hold his hand out when his daughter hurried over to him.

What were they doing here? Had they witnessed the crash? Where was (Y/n) and James?

"Where's your mum?" The urgency in Evan's voice was unlike anything the kids had ever heard. But Evan tripped over his feet when Josie tugged on his hand and pointed to the porch.

"No… no, no no!"

Words tumbled past Evan's lips, but he could barely hear them. He didn't hear himself telling Josie and Cole to sit and stay exactly where they were. He couldn't feel Cole's nails scratching into the back of his neck or his wails as he screeched for Evan to keep hold of him, but he couldn't.

Once Evan noticed Bobby moving towards the kids, presumably to keep them calm and still, Evan stumbled up the steps.

This couldn't be happening. No. Why? Why now, when Evan was on shift, when he hadn't been here with them? Why his family? Why not somebody else?

His boots pounded against the broken steps that squeaked as if they were going to give way beneath his weight. But when he got onto the porch, he found Chimney stood in front of him. His hands found Evan's chest and he gave him a little nudge, silently telling him to take a step back but the motion only infuriated Evan.

He leaned around Chimney, feeling his heart impale itself on his ribs when he looked at the bonnet of the car.

There was the rest of his family.

James was the boy who'd been hit. Wedged between the car bonnet and the wall of the house, right next to the front door. And beside him, leaning heavily on the car to be as close as possible, was (Y/n).

"Buck-" Chimney closed his eyes and ground his jaw when he was violently pushed aside. He regained his balance just before he toppled onto Bobby who was trying to keep the kids away from the scene, not wanting them to be traumatised any longer.

"Baby- baby, i-it's me! I'm here, what happened?" Breathless gasps left Evan's lips as he blundered over to be behind (Y/n).

His hands found her arms and he leaned over her back, feeling the quiet scream she let out. She had been zoned out, focusing on James and Evan had accidentally frightened her. But when (Y/n) looked over her shoulder, tears streamed down her face and she reached her free hand up to grip his hand that was on her upper arm.

"Evan," The way she said his name had his heart breaking all over again and he felt tears welling up in his eyes when (Y/n) briefly pressed her forehead down into his arm. "He p- he pushed Cole out the way. I couldn't-"

(Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and rolled her lips together when Evan kissed the top of her head.

She hadn't been able to do anything.

They had been walking on the path, about to get ready to call it a night when it happened. Two cars, like they were playing chicken. One hit the back of another and veered onto the path. (Y/n) couldn't move before James had shoved Cole across the path so he was out the way of the oncoming car. All (Y/n) could do was scream.

The boys had been in front of her. James had been walking with Cole attached to his side while Josie walked slower so she could be beside (Y/n). Just a few more paces and it would of been (Y/n) and Josie who got hit instead of James.

"Dad?" The hope in James's voice made Evan choke and he carefully nudged (Y/n) a few paces to the side so he could take her place. The action caused her to let go of James's hand and (Y/n) felt herself beginning to tremble when she let him go.

She pressed up behind Evan to stay as close as possible while he leaned his hips on the bonnet and reached out for his boy.

James looked like he was a rubber toy that was being stretched. The bonnet was pressing deeply into his abdomen and lower chest and the tyre was crushed into his leg. For a moment, Evan seemed to look at him funny as if something was out of place, but then he realised what it was. He wasn't wearing his glasses; either they had fallen off or (Y/n) had taken them off him to try and help him.

Tears were streaming down his face and his arms were both laid on the bonnet around the picket fence that was crushed between him and the car. He had his head leant on his arm, but as soon as he realised his dad was here, his head perked up. He had been screaming for Evan since someone said they called the emergency services.

He wanted his dad.

"I'm here! I've got you buddy." When James latched both hands around Evan's bicep, Evan leaned over him and cradled the back of his neck. He pressed a dozen kisses to the top of his head and took a few seconds to try and even out his breathing.

He had to stay in control. He had to figure out what to do and get their son out of this situation.

His fingers curled at the back of James's head, fisting around his curly hair that matched Evan's. He could feel how badly his boy was shaking and it was as if the pain was radiating through into Evan and all he wanted to do was make it stop. He wanted to find a way to rewind time and slot himself into this scene so he could stop it from happening.

"Hurts." The little whimper James let out made Evan croak. He finally reeled back just enough so that he can look down at his boy without tearing himself away from James. Allowing his boy to keep a tight grip on his bicep.

"It's alright, I'll get you something for that. Where's the morphine?" Evan looked over his shoulder with furrowed brows and a stern expression not to be messed with. He had to have some help here.

He could see Bobby was giving out orders while still staying close by Josie and Cole, for safety. Eddie was working with a few others to make something to keep the structure sturdy so they could move the car. And Chimney was weaving around to the other side of the car so he could try and help.

When Evan looked around, he watched Hen hurry up to him with a medic bag in her hand which made him relieved. There would be some morphine in that bag; something that until a few weeks ago James had never had to have until he broke his ribs. Evan didn't want to think what was going to be wrong with his son after this.

"Buck, why don't you let me-"

"He's not your kid!"

The seething tone in Evan's voice made Hen roll her lips into a thin line and she nodded. She didn't think it was the best idea that Evan be the one to help right now. This was his son. He was getting emotional and that wasn't the best thing to happen in this situation; but none of them were going to be able to tear him away from his boy.

"Dad d-don't go." James scratched his short nails into his dad's arm and gave a sharp tug on his arm. He had been crying out for his dad since the accident occurred, he didn't want Evan to step away from him now.

"I'm not leaving you, not for a second. Okay? I'm right here with you, baby." He kissed James's temple before he held his hand out and took the packaged needle Hen passed into his hand.

He scratched the needle into the back of James's hand and squeezed until all the morphine was in his system. They all knew it would take a few minutes to work, but once it did, the discomfort would fade away.

Evan took a look around before he shuffled over and carefully sat down on the car bonnet. He had to be close and standing at an angle like this wasn't exactly helping. He leaned in close so he could see how much the car was pushing down on James and whereabouts. And from the look of his leg, James had a new broken bone to deal with.

"Is Cole o-okay? I- I tried to get him out- out the way." James sniffed and tilted his head back to look up at his dad.

He wanted to straighten up, but standing straight hurt his chest and he felt better if he just slumped forward like this. And now that his dad was sat on the bonnet, James flopped his chin on his dad's leg and gripped his leg to try and distract himself.

"He's fine, and I'm so proud of you." He kissed the back of James's head as more tears flushed his face.

Things wouldn't have worked out the same if Cole had been hit too. He was four, he was small and he wasn't as strong. If the car hit him it would of killed him. James had saved him.

Looking over his shoulder, Evan waved towards Hen and Bobby who were hanging back to try and help get the structure sorted.

"How long? I need this car off him now!"

"We're on it, Buck. Keep him calm for a few more minutes." Bobby didn't dare say they needed up to ten minutes to do this. He couldn't say that and watch Evan's face fall and he couldn't let James hear that and have him panicking too.

When (Y/n) heard James mutter a broken "Where's mum?" she tried to move back to his side but a pair of hands held her arms and pulled her back. Her head whipped over her shoulder and she writhed around when she realised it was Eddie holding onto her.

He shook his head and tried to pull her back into him. (Y/n) wouldn't be able to do very much, none of them could do a lot until the car was moved. And Eddie knew (Y/n) panicking was only going to make her state worse. She needed to calm down and stay put for now.

"She's here, look uncle Chim's gonna help us too."

"Alright kid, let's get this on you." Leaning over the bonnet, Chimney carefully placed two stickers beneath James's shirt against his chest to monitor his heartbeat. "Let's straighten you up so I can take a look."

James gripped Evan's arms while his dad held his elbows and helped him lean back so he was standing up properly rather than being slumped over. He tilted his head back, trying to hold back the tears but it wasn't happening. He squeezed Evan's arms tight and tried to take deep breaths while Chimney pressed on his chest and tried to feel his abdomen for any tender spots or internal bleeding.

"I'm scared." There was no shame in James's voice; he wasn't embarrassed to say he was frightened because he was. He was in agony, he was trapped. He felt like he was being flattened and at any moment he was sure his insides were going to burst and pop.

His voice made (Y/n) tremble and her hands moved to cover her mouth so she wouldn't burst into tears. Her eyes were constantly moving to the left to check on the kids and she could see them both huddled together on the steps with Hen stood beside them so Bobby could help drill the wood for the structure. They were shell-shocked, but they were okay for now.

All she wanted to do was go up there and hold James. She wanted to wrap her arms around him like she had tried to do earlier and get that car away from him so they could move him. He needed to go to hospital.

Sobs wracked past her lips and she tried again to move away from Eddie but he wasn't letting go. He couldn't let her distress herself any more than this.

"You don't need to be scared, you've got all of us here to look after you. The best team, hm?"

James nodded and tried to keep his eyes open, but he could feel his head turning dizzy and the agony burning throughout his chest was making it hard to focus.

"Dad?"

"What, baby?"

Evan didn't receive a proper answer, but he watched silently as James tugged on his arms and moved his hands towards his chest.

"Is it your ribs, do they hurt?" Evan wouldn't be surprised if James had fractured or damaged his already broken ribs that were on the verge of healing now three weeks after the accident.

But both he and Chimney froze when James's head flopped forward and he started to cough. His forehead bashed into Evan's thigh and he began to wheeze through coughs like he had suddenly inhaled smoke that was irritating his lungs.

"James?"

"Hey, baby sit up for me, please?" Desperation drowned Evan's voice as he and Chimney tried to reel James up again but he wasn't having it. He didn't have the energy and he felt better laying forward like this.

But when Evan rolled James's upper half onto his side so he could look at him, everything within him started to burn in flames and a horrible trembling set in Evan's body.

James was coughing up blood.

His eyes were rolling about in his head like marbles, unable to focus on anything and his chest was convulsing as large splurts of blood dribbled down his chin and splattered onto Evan's lap.

"Hen we need suction." Chimney pressed one knee onto the bonnet so he could lean over now that James's back was twisted towards him. He tilted James's head forwards and tried to listen to his breathing, but his lungs sounded like they were drowning. He was going to suffocate in his own blood if they didn't remove it quick enough.

"(Y/n)- (Y/n) no- Cap we need that car on a winch now!" Eddie braced himself and tilted his head back, holding (Y/n) with his arms beneath hers and his hands on her shoulders to hold her back. She was dithering between trying to lean forward and pushing down like she was going to collapse. The only sure thing was Eddie stood behind her, holding her up.

A horrible, broken scream left (Y/n)'s lips and when she tried to wrangle out of Eddie's grip again, she ended up going down on her knees when her legs buckled. Her head flopped forward, allowing the tears to cascade down her face as she gasped for breath like she was drowning too.

She wanted to hold his hand. She wanted to stand with him and try to help. She needed to be closer, but they weren't letting her.

One hand reached up to grip Eddie's hand that was on her shoulder and she squeezed tight, glad he didn't say anything and simply held her tighter for support. But her other hand moved down to the side of her stomach when it felt like her muscles were tightening and twinging.

"Alright, here we go buddy." Chimney switched on the machine when Hen handed it over and carefully wiggled the plastic tube into James's mouth and down his throat.

The amount of blood filling the suction tube was unnerving, but the coughing, gasping noises James made was worse. And the sight of his chest convulsing against Evan's knees was making tears pour down his dad's face.

"He's losing a lot of blood, Cap we need a transfusion."

"It would take more than ten minutes to get a blood bag down here." They didn't carry blood bags on them, that was too dangerous and it wasn't their department's job. Getting a donation from the hospital was going to take too long, even if they had the blue lights on to get here faster.

A strangled sound passed (Y/n)'s lips as she twisted to look up at Eddie. She tried to ignore the tightening in her stomach while she pulled on his hand.

"What, are you okay?"

"He's- I'm A-negative too. Can't you d-do something?" (Y/n) waved her wrist in front of Eddie to try and make her point because she couldn't find the words she needed.

Evan was a different blood group to (Y/n), but she knew she was the same as James. Her and Evan went to the hospital every other month to give blood donations. She was the same type as James, couldn't they take her blood and somehow get it into James here? Did they have the equipment for that?

A light seemed to go off in Eddie's mind and he nodded and pushed up from his knees, carefully helping (Y/n) up with him as he finally guided her over towards her boy rather than holding her at bay.

"Eddie no-" Evan tried to motion his hand towards his wife, signalling that he didn't want her this close. (Y/n) had already gone into shock and was panicking, Evan couldn't have her getting any worse witnessing this.

"She's his blood type, we can get a fusion going or he's gonna drown in his blood and lose it at the same time."

If they let James continue like this, he was going to bleed out into his lungs and it would be a debate whether the blood loss would kill him or if he would suffocate first. He needed a transfusion to get blood to the rest of his body, not just in his lungs.

Evan looked sceptical, he didn't look like he would agree but they didn't have a choice and (Y/n) was already leaning over his lap and rolling up her sleeve. She wouldn't give him a choice. She was doing this whether Evan was happy about it or not.

"You know that's risky." Hen fumbled in her medic bag to find what they needed, but her voice gave away how uncertain she was about this. It wasn't something they practised or did every day.

"He needs me." (Y/n) moved her hand towards Eddie because she knew that even if Evan, Hen and Chimney were uncertain, Eddie was willing. It was risky but they couldn't let James deteriorate or get any worse.

"Fuck it." Chimney grabbed the needles from Hen and handed one over to Eddie before he held James's hand.

It was hard to lean over James and get the needle into his elbow from this angle but he managed it and held the tube out ready for Eddie to use.

(Y/n) leaned her hip against Evan and laid her head on his shoulder but her eyes wouldn't divert away from their boy. He was still shaking and choking and his eyes had rolled to the back of his head. He had passed out and they could all hear his heartbeat lowering with every second that ticked by.

The small scratch in the back of her hand was nothing compared to the ache in her heart and the twisting, stretching feeling in her abdomen where the twins were kicking up a fuss.

Evan pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head while he started to run his fingers through James's hair, something that always soothed and calmed down their boy since he was a baby. He watched intently as Eddie connected the tubes to a large syringe and slowly started to fill the syringe with (Y/n)'s blood.

"Ready?"

"Yep."

Eddie carefully pushed down on the syringe until it was halfway down and the blood started to travel through the next tube and into James's elbow.

(Y/n) could feel herself going lightheaded and she leaned into Evan a little more to keep herself steady. But the sound of the heart rate monitor picking up made her sigh and press her lips into Evan's shoulder.

It was working.

"Alright Buck get off the car, we're gonna move it now!" Bobby's voice was the ray of light they needed.

Chimney handed the suction back to Hen now that James's lungs were mostly clear for the time being. And Eddie carefully reeled (Y/n) back a few feet with him, making sure she wasn't too far away so the needle didn't come out her hand. While Chimney held James's shoulders, Evan held his head up and they both kept him in place while Bobby and Hen got the wooden beams in place on the porch so it wouldn't collapse on them.

The structure shuddered and groaned once the car slowly started to be pulled away.

A horrible scream tore past James's lips and his head flopped forward against Evan's hand as a dribble of blood spat past his lips. His knees wavered, but not for long. Evan crouched in front of him and caught him expertly while everyone moved around them.

The fencing and broken beams were moved out the way so Evan could pick up his boy and carry him down to the gurney at the bottom of the stairs. With (Y/n) and Eddie close behind.

"He should have enough now." Eddie's voice was careful and delicate as he removed the needle from (Y/n)'s hand and put a plaster in its place.

"You both go with him, we'll take the kids with us and meet you there." Bobby waved his hand towards the ambulance. It would be better for both parents to travel with James and the rest of them would follow on behind in the truck and they would take Cole and Josie with them.

(Y/n) looked to the side but Cole was already in Chimney's arms, sobbing into his chest while Chimney tried to calm him down. And Josie was attached to his leg, unsure what was happening or where they were going now. But both kids knew he was their uncle and they should wait with him if they couldn't follow with their parents.

She tried to nod and push ahead, following after Evan who was steering the gurney with Hen. But her legs were shaking like they were about to give way on her and she felt like she was about to faint.

The feeling of Eddie's hand on her back was comforting as he helped guide her towards the ambulance. But (Y/n) didn't have the strength to get inside. Her hand clung to the ambulance door and she hunched forward, closing her eyes when another twinge broke out in her abdomen.

"Baby, what's the matter?" Once the stretcher was locked in place, Evan moved to the end of the ambulance, both hands pressed into either door as he leaned forward. Trying to decipher why his wife had stooped over rather than attempted to get inside with him.

"I- I think…" She couldn't find the words, but another pain hit her with such a powerful force that she had no choice but to bend her knees and brace her hand on the floor of the ambulance.

A cry burst past her lips and Evan jerked back when she curled her other hand into a fist and rammed it into the door so powerfully that the whole ambulance shook.

They all heard her mutter "Contraction." in a feeble whimper and Evan's jaw ground tight as he looked at Eddie.

This was exactly what he and (Y/n) and been trying to avoid. She was on light duties at home and Evan had been tempted to tell her to go on bed rest to make sure nothing happened to her and the twins. The stress of tonight and trauma of seeing James get hurt was pushing her into labour.

"We'll get you to a doctor too then."

Leaning down, Evan held onto (Y/n)'s elbows and pulled her up while Eddie stayed behind her to make sure she got up and didn't trip. Evan eased her down into one of the seats and sat next to her, but he didn't like the look in her eyes. She creased forward so her bump was pressed into her thighs and her hands reached out to take James's hand.

Evan leaned over and looped his left arm around (Y/n)'s waist, easing her into him until her head was meshed into his chest and his lips attached to the top of her head. While his other hand held onto James's shoulder like their son was their lifeline.

He knew. Evan just knew that (Y/n) was going to ignore the contractions as much as she could. She wasn't going to listen to her body and he had a feeling he was going to have a fight on his hands to get her to sit with a doctor.

(Y/n) didn't want this to happen. She didn't need this right now. James needed her and Evan, they couldn't leave him or stop worrying about him to focus on (Y/n)'s feeble body that was overreacting and trying to hurt their other two babies.

All their attention had to go to James. He needed them.

[mickyschumacher]

[ICE CREAM CAKE!]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you and lando have a pretty healthy relationship; communication is a breeze between the two of you. and while that seems good, it doesn't help lando is horny 24/7. even the beach isn't safe from him.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minors dni), established relationship, some fluff, blowjob, slight handjob, breastplay, poor humour LMAO aka old creepy mens' dicks, no time concept lol, basically lando time!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: bf!lando norris x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+

𝐀/𝐍: now playing: ice cream cake – red velvet! OKAY YES IK I HAVE REQUESTS BUT I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK TILL THIS OKAY? is it not obvious by the word count? 😭 alexa, play 'easy on me' by adele :( also new banners after i messed around one day! ♡︎ // proof-read-ish!

🏎️ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | ⚽️𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

You had met Lando two years ago purely on accident. You were at a coffee shop in Brighton, he was visiting a friend there. You ordered a hot chocolate and he had ordered a long black. Somehow the both of you had swapped cups and were wincing at how sweet or bitter the drink was.

Lando had turned his cup around to see who the cup belonged to. Upon seeing your name, unlike a normal person who would ask the barista for another cup or a refund, he had shouted your name across the room.

Lucky for you, you were the only other customer there since it was a slow day. Nevertheless, you looked up in shock. Who yelled out your name? Why? How did they know your name?

You actually purposely avoided eye-contact with his table just in case he was some weird guy. But Lando got your attention after telling you from across that room that you had some sweet taste in drinks.

You raised a brow. Was this some sort of new catcall you didn't know about? But then you had caught the barista's handwriting on 'your' cup. Lando, Long Black.

You scrunched your nose at the cup and looked at him. "You're quite bitter."

It was at that point when Lando had got a clear shot of your face and found his heart racing faster than normal. You were pretty, no gorgeous, no beautiful, no... surreal. Your face was contorted into a grimaced expression at his order which he found amusing. You looked like, what he still claims to this day, part of the shop's couch. The couch was brown and you were wearing a brown sweater.

Honestly, Lando couldn't find the whole situation anymore endearing. So with whatever confidence he had leftover, he walked up to your table and smoothly asked, "Can I get you a sweeter one with my number?"

Now this was when you first had probably got a look of Lando. He had a certain... boyish charm, if you will. The wide grin, sparkling blue eyes, face dotted with the odd freckle or beauty mark. To say he was attractive was an understatement. He looked like one of the main characters in the rom-coms you would binge when you needed a pick me-up.

You said yes. Obviously.

And here you were, two years later. At the beach with Lando, Charles, Carlos, Daniel, and their partners. You were all caught up with F1, always available for Lando. Your perspective of him had changed quite a lot since you had met him. In a good way, of course.

You initially saw him how a lot most of his fans and the media see him. A comedian by day and a moodmaker by night. Always smiling and cheery. Positive and optimistic. But the reality was that Lando struggled with the mental and physical aspects of F1. He didn't always have the confidence and he was stressed and depressed.

But as Lando always said in his interviews, he had found you.

'The best thing that had ever happened to him,' according to Lando himself.

Anyone could see that the two of you loved each other with your entire beings. Neither of you left any stone unturned in your relationship. Most people were jealous of your relationship. The drivers, the media, and especially the fans.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

━━━━━━━━━━━

One thing about Lando that you had learned quite soon after your first time together was that Lando was insatiable. He was sex-driven, horny, full of lust, aroused... all the words in the dictionary for a man like this... 24/7.

One day, you asked him why. Lando only responded with pulling you closer to him, leaving a trail of kisses from your jaw and down to your neck, and saying "You."

You wouldn't say anything did it for him. No in fact, it was specific things that he couldn't take his mind off once he thought about it.

Take right now for example.

Carlos had decided to treat everyone to ice creams, ice lollies, and juice on your trip to the beach in Playa de Bolonia. Innocently and naively, you had chosen the pink ice lolly out the chilly bin. Lando had also not thought anything of it.

Rather Lando had being eyeing you with every spare glance as you were wearing his favourite bikini, the one he had bought you for Christmas as a prank gift in the nice British winter thinking it had been the funniest thing ever. Obviously, he thought you were going to were it but another thing you had learned was that Lando's humour quite often was unmatched and spontaneous.

The bikini itself was simple. An orange, of course, two-piece. The top was held up by two moderately thin straps and hugged your breasts quite nicely. The bikini bottom was as normal as it could get, clinging to your hips. On top of it, you wore a white thin-laced cotton coverup, loosely tied together.

You would say it was an average beach look. Lando would disagree. It was as if God himself had carved you and decided to put you on Earth as reparations for the bad in the world.

But back to the point.

As mentioned, Lando hadn't really thought of the ice lolly. He was too busy trying to get Daniel back with a water gun. Like you said, boyish. It wasn't until he had finally got him back and decided to go sit down with you and grab himself some ice cream.

But when Lando sat down and looked at you, his mind had suddenly turned into shambles. There you were. Under the shade, peaks of sun shining on your skin, holding that pink ice lolly to your mouth.

Lando wasn't quite sure what was worse. The faint pink colour similar to his cock or the way your tongue travelled down the length of it to collect the melting sugary liquid. Or how your lips pressed up on the tip of the ice and pressed down to take an inch more of it into your mouth as if it was his own cock.

To make matters even worse for him, you had failed to capture some of the melting droplets. Lando keenly watched as they fell to your bare part of your chest and even had landed right where he knew your nipple was. His eyes widened ever so slightly and his breath paced when you frowned at the event and used your finger to wipe the sweet liquid off your skin and into your mouth. Some of it had gone too far down, probably pooling near your breasts like he imagined.

What sent him overboard? When you had spotted the stain on your bikini top over your nipple and attempted to rub it away, only making the stain worse and a small bump for your pebbled nipple.

Lando gulped nervously, pants incredibly tight. He closed his eyes and held his hands over his newly-formed hard on, wishing that his mind wasn't full of everything he had just seen. Your lips... your breasts... the way your eyes looked down at the popsicle... if only that was his cock....

"Lando? Dude, do you need to go to the bathroom?" Pierre's voice cut through the air.

Lando snapped his eyes opened and your eyes looked over to your boyfriend.

"W-What?" The British male queried with slight panic. He was not getting caught with a hard-on in front of his friends... there was no way in Earth...

Pierre raised a brow, gesturing to his pants. "You're ice cream is all melted. You need to take your eyes off Y/N at least sometimes, Lando, otherwise you'll never finish... your ice cream, that is," He teased.

You looked down at Lando's pants where his hands laid, covered in the white vanilla ice cream-turned liquid. You and everyone let out an amused laugh at Pierre's joke, shaking your head.

You stood up from the sandy grass you were sat on, dusting yourself off. You extended your hand to Lando, "Come on. I bought extra stuff in the car. Honestly, I thought you were going to lose your trunks by Daniel pantsing you in the water but I guess not."

A howl of laughter came from Charles and Carlos while Daniel cursed himself for not doing it.

Lando blinked, pulling the finger at his fellow drivers. He sighed, grabbing your hand and awkwardly standing up from the area, managing to cover up his bulge swiftly.

The two of you headed to the car as Lando briefly threw out the sticky wrapper and stick into a bin nearby. You opened the boot of the car, grabbing his trunks. "Jesus, could it get any hotter today?" You asked, closing the back door.

"It really couldn't," Lando mused, walking hand-in-hand with you, making you release a groan.

"Lando... now my hand's all sticky, you idiot," You complained, trying to pull apart from his hand.

Lando rolled his eyes, arriving to the empty males changing room. He was about to enter when he saw you stand outside and not follow him. "What are you doing? Come in."

You narrowed your eyes. "It's a male changing room. I'm not going in. What if there's some old man trying to change? I do not need to be scarred for life. My DMs is enough, thanks."

"First of all, there's no one here," Lando stated before shouting a loud 'Hello' into the room, making you redden with embarassment. "See? Secondly, I'm sorry, let me get this straight, your DMs are full of old men's dicks?" Lando looked at you incredulously.

You grinned, shrugging. "It's called being a woman, Lando. You wouldn't get it."

Lando rolled his eyes once again, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you into the changing room.

The room was the opposite of most changing rooms. It was tiled well, clean and fresh as opposed to musty, damp and with paint-chipped walls. There were also no leaky taps or showers or even any graffiti. It was slightly comforting to know that at least people respected some of their public rooms, even in Madrid.

"Wait, also, what if I get old? You don't want to see my shrivelled dick? It should turn you on!" Lando asked with a dramatic gasp.

You looked at your boyfriend through the mirror with a dumfounded expression. Turning, you threw his trunks at his face. "Go change," You laughed, shaking your head.

Lando grinned underneath the trunks as you turned the tap on to wash your sugar-coated hands.

Lando had removed his trunks, left naked with his hard, reddened cock slapping against his stomach, and was about to put on the new ones when a thought passed his mind.

You paused your hand-washing and froze when you felt Lando's arms wrap around your stomach, pulling you close to his bare body. "Lando," You yelped, feeling a shiver cross your body, "What are you doing?"

Lando peered down at you through his thick eyelashes. He tucked his chin into your shoulder, placing a brief kiss. "What?" He asked innocently, "I'm just washing my hands. I can't get the new ones dirty either."

You watched through the mirror as he pressed his body into you, washing his hands under the tap, ridding the tackiness on his hands.

You sucked in a sharp breath, feeling his cock push into your backside. It was bare, you realised, as the heat spread into you. Your eyes flickered to Lando through the mirror, squinting at him. He wasn't...

Lando caught your eyes staring hard at him. "Don't look at me like that," He whispered into your ear, a loose grin hanging on his face. His wet fingers travelled to the poorly tied lace coverup you wore, undoing the knot with ease. The coverup fell against your shoulders, revealing your bikini and body in all it's glory.

"You have to clean up as well," Lando shrugged, eyes fixated on you through the mirror. "You made a mess," He murmured, wetting his fingers with the water once more before placing it against your chest.

You pressed your lips tightly, feeling his fingers drive down your skin and underneath your bikini top. Lando's fingers brushed your hardened nipples, making you shudder under his touch. His fingers trailed across your breasts, wiping away any of that sticky residue that you had missed. Bringing his fingers to his mouth and taking a wide lick of them, Lando grinned at you. "You know... I can't stop picturing you sucking my dick like that ice lolly. Never thought I would be jealous of an ice lolly."

You couldn't help but smile in amusement. You pulled away from his hold and turned to face your boyfriend. "Yeah?" You hummed, hands trailing down his chest. Lando had been working out a lot more these days for F1; compared to before his abs had become more prominent and toned. You loved Lando no matter what he looked like, but there was something about the way his skin flushed when you touched his torso.

Lando's breath hitched as your hand had ever so naturally found it's way to his cock. His cock, if you could say it, was pretty. It was average in length and with a nice, filling girth, stretching all of your holes wide.

Your fingers brushed across the tip of his head, just grazing his slit. You could feel Lando jolt in your hands as he muttered, “Fuck.”

You opened your mouth, letting a drop of saliva full into his cock. Hand wrapped around it, you gently rubbed natural lube up and down his shaft. Lando’s jaw clenched at the warm liquid nestling around his cock, letting a sharp exhale through gritted teeth.

Slowly you sunk down to your knees. The tiled floor was cold against your burning skin but it didn’t matter: you were too focused on what was right in front of you; cockdrunk. Your tongue darted out to swipe your lips before pressing a light kiss to his cock. Lando could feel himself twitch, aching to be in your mouth.

He watched as your lips opened like they did on that ice lolly. Going down in his cock, your lips stretched and your mouth hollowed.

Lando groaned at the warmth surrounding his cock. He bit down on his lip, watching his cock disappear into your mouth. Your eyes were on him as you sucked him, teeth barely grazing his skin.

"Fuck, you look so pretty like this, Y/N," Lando sighed out, "On your knees for me. I can't imagine the mess you made between those legs of yours, hmm?"

You moaned in response, sending a vibration around his cock. You briefly pulled away from him, making Lando grunt in slight annoyance at the loss. "These lips, my pussy.... all yours," You winked at him before returning to his cock.

Lando tensed at your words, letting a grin overtake him. "Yeah? Let's see about that throat, baby?" His hands reached your half dry and half damp, salty hair. Wrapping those long tresses around his hand and wrist, he tightened his grip. He could feel you open up your throat as he guided his cock down the tighter tunnel.

Lando's rasping groan made you clench your thighs, holding a barrier to the wetness leaking at of you. You could feel him begin to move his hips, beginning to push his cock into your throat.

Fighting the urge to gag around his cock, you tried hard to relax your cheeks and mouth, allowing every inch of him to be seated in your throat.

He flickered his eyes to you. Watching you take him in his mouth was a pleasure of its own. Your big eyes were glassy with tears of arousal and a haze of lust, sweat and saliva lingered at every edge of your skin, and your lips were puffy and red. Trailing his eyes further down, he spotted your bare neck in dire need of kisses, but that wasn't the most striking thing about it. It was the slight bulge of his cock in your throat making it's presence known.

Jesus...

Lando instinctively closed his eyes upon feeling your hands touch his balls. You rubbed them gently, feeling your head bob at an increased rate to match the sudden pace of Lando's cock in your throat.

"Fuck, fuck... I..." Lando moaned. "I'm gonna cum!" Lando hissed out, feeling a familiar bubbling feeling overcome. His thrusts become harder and faster, your nose flushed with his skin.

His moans became irregular and higher, chasing his release. "Fuck...." A guttural groan fell from his lips. Hot, salty white strips of his cum coated the inside of your mouth, swirling around after each drop was sucked from your lips. Almost painfully, Lando removed himself from your mouth. His chest rose up and down as he breathed out heavily.

An admiring smile came from Lando while he pulled you up to meet his face. He pushed your sweaty hair back. "That mouth of yours is evil," He narrowed his eyes playfully.

"You should shut me up then," You quipped back, sticking out your tongue that still had his cum on it.

Lando's eyes sparkled with amusement before he brought his lips to yours, darting his tongue into your mouth. The urgency in the action was understated. God, he could taste himself in you. His hands encapsulated your waist, flushing your barely clothed body to close his naked one. Your own hands travelled everywhere across his chest as the two of you kissed each other.

The muffled moans from you made Lando want to hear them out loud. Slowly he moved from your lips to your jaw. "Let me hear you, baby," He breathed out, placing smaller kisses as he reached your neck.

You let out a small whimper, neck tilting so Lando could get more access. Lando grinned at the sight of your bare neck, leaving small little nibbles across your skin. His lips eventually became settled in an area between your ear and collarbone, beginning to suck at your warmth.

"Lando," You moaned, "No, the others will realise."

Your refutes were ill-attempted even for yourself. You were dazed at the suction of his lips. His nose buried into your neck while he created a fresh layer of purple against your sun-kissed skin.

Lando released himself from your neck, eyeing down his creation with a smirk. "There. If they couldn't tell from your hair, they'll definitely know now."

You narrowed your eyes, turning to the mirror only for your eyes to widen in shock. "Jesus fucking Christ, Lando," You peered at the big purple brown splotch on your skin. "As if the 20 minutes we've spent here wasn't enough," You whined.

Lando laughed softly, standing behind you with his arms around your waist and chin resting on your head. "Well... if you make it through the shame, I can't wait to properly fuck you when we get home. You must know how much I love the way you look when I’m inside you."

Your head fell against his chest with a pout. "Why not now?"

Lando grinned before pressing a kiss to your head "Like you said... it's been 20 minutes."

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[mickandmusings]

anticipation

pairing: indiana jones x f!reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: indy and y/n, history professors and close friends, are sent out on the hunt for an ancient gold amulet somewhere near cairo. hitting a stroke of luck, they find all the clues leading to the prize inside a cave, making indy's usual grumpy demeanor turn soft. however, as night falls on the desert, the pair find themselves taking shelter from a sandstorm in the cave, where they realize that the real prize was never any artifact.

warnings: fluffy, slight age gap (idk I imagined the reader to be at least like five or six years younger than Indy??) indy's typically gruff attitude (and gooey middle), clumsy reader, author loves history but isn't as well versed in ancient history so bear with inaccuracy

-

"Sweetheart, what the hell're you doing?" Indy's voice resounded through the empty cave both he and Y/N were walking in. Well, were walking in, til his partner stopped and dropped to the floor, her lantern close to the wall.

"Indy, come look, there's markings," Y/N's reply was smart, though she stumbled on a loose rock as she crouched down, nearly toppling over, but gained her balance and smiled at Indy. "I didn't fall that time!"

Indiana huffed out a small chuckle as he walked over to look at her discovery. After the past few years of bringing Y/N along, he'd grown used to her clumsy nature, spending most of his time helping her off of sandy ground or helping her limp along on a twisted ankle from a particularly nasty fall. If it were anyone else, Indy would grumble and leave them behind, but Y/N was the exception to nearly every one of Indiana's rules.

"Smart girl," Indy's voice echoed as his hands lightly brushed against the wall. Y/N felt her face fill with a red blush at Indy's compliment, even if he didn't mean it the way she wanted him to. Y/N's growing crush on her older coworker had started the moment she'd moved into the classroom across the hall from him. She had been intimidated at first, being the only female professor in the history hall. She had expected Dr. Jones to be just as avoidant of her as the others, but he had been the opposite. He had been dapper in his neat suit and bowtie, his studious glasses making him appear approachable. He had smiled and introduced himself, and the rest had been history-literally. The two would wave at each other down the hallway, swap conversation between classes and at lunch, and share books back and forth. Their at-work talks led to Indy inviting her to dinner (as friends, of course) and both of them grading papers in Indy's living room. After a year or so working side by side, Indy quickly realized that Y/N had an appetite for adventure, just like him. He'd invited her on a small dig that summer, and she'd been his right-hand ever since. Their easy friendship had quickly become the talk of the college, by teachers and students alike. Rumors floated through the air, talks of affairs and secret relationships, but none of them were true. Indy and Y/N were nothing more than friends and coworkers, as much as both parties wished they were more.

"Are those the ones you were looking for? The ones from the book?" Y/N's voice cut through Indiana's focus. Indiana's hazel eyes looked into hers, his heart skipping a beat. Her optimistic face warmed his heart. Despite all of the hell the girl had gone through on adventures with him, she still got excited when he brought her along on another.

"Yeah, yeah they are." Indy pulled the aged paper from his pocket, unfolded it and held it against the wall-the two were a perfect match. "We're in the right place, doll, just gotta find that damn amulet."

For the rest of daylight, Y/N and Indy move quickly through the dark cave, most times in tight quarters with one another. Indy is secretly in agony: every brush of her hand against his own, or his front pressed against her back in particularly small spaces sets his skin ablaze, and when her eyes light up at her findings or a narrow escape? Indy all but pulls her in for a heated kiss. The duo makes great time finding the amulet and pulling themselves back out, all limbs intact with minimal cuts and bruises, and Indy is grinning as the jewel shines in Y/N's hand. His shirt is ripped and there's a cut that needs cleaning across his neck, but his demeanor is spirited. He slings an arm around Y/N, making her heart skip a beat.

"Can't believe we made it out of that one, huh, sweetheart?" His voice is laced with a laugh, his other hand holding out the lantern that lights their way out. It's drawing towards sundown, and Indy and Y/N are quickly making their way towards the mouth of the cave they've been in for a number of hours.

"I wouldn't have made it out if it weren't for you, Jones. When I fell through that last trap door, I thought I was done." Y/N sighs when she catches a glimpse of the opening of the cave, ready to curl back into the bed she shared with Indy at Sallah's. Her muscles were aching, and she longed for a shower and a good night's sleep before their journey back home tomorrow. As they got closer to the front of the cave, Y/N's good mood deflated. She peered out the opening from a few feet distance.

"Indy, there's no way we're getting out of here. That sandstorm could take down a building, we won't last ten minutes."

Indiana stands behind her, peering over her head to look out the opening. He, too, sighed and let out a deep exhale, his hazel eyes darting across at the scene.

"Yeah, you're right. We'll have to anchor here 'til it passes."

Y/N sighs, dropping onto the cave floor and plopping against the wall. Indy watches her movements-he could tell she was tired, her body aching.

"You alright, Y/N/N?"

Y/N cuts her eyes up to Indy's, sympathy pooling in his irises.

"M'fine, just tired. Dreaming of a shower and our bed back at Sallah's if I'm honest."

Indy plops down next to her, planting their lantern on the ground in front of them.

"God, me too, sweetheart. Starting to think I'm getting too old for all of this."

Y/N rolls her eyes and lets out a chuckle as she leans her head on Indy's shoulder, feeling much more comfortable with Indiana's protection over her. Silence fell amongst the pair, and Y/N felt her eyes droop. She quickly popped them back open, knowing that she probably shouldn't be sleeping in a cave such as this one. Indy catches her tired actions and pulls her into his arms, making a blush appear on Y/N's face. She looks up at him with a face of slight confusion.

"Sleep, I'll keep watch."

Any other time, Y/N would have protested, arguing that she shouldn't let her guard down, that danger could still lurk in every corner. Today, however, she was too tired to even form a rebuttal, and let her eyes close as Indy's warmth lulled her to sleep. Indy sat leisurely, looking out the mouth of the cave, hoping that the sand storm would quickly dissipate, but his longing was in vain, it only seemed to rage. He, too, found himself dozing off, his mind only comprehending the sound of Y/N's deep breaths. He lifted the hat from his head onto the top of his face to block the light from their lantern, and fell fast asleep.

Neither of the pair woke for several hours, even when the sandstorm had passed, which worried Sallah. He worried his dear friends were stuck in a cave somewhere, or had been captured by their enemies. When he finally stumbled through the opening of the dark cave and saw the sleeping figures of Indy and Y/N, he let out a boisterous laugh that echoed off the walls. It startled both halves of the couple, Y/N jumping in Indy's arms as Indy's arms covered her protectively. Even as the couple registered their friend's presence, Indy's arms never let go of Y/N. He helped her stand and got them both out of the cave, following Sallah back home.

Back at Sallah's, Indy lets Y/N have the first go of the shower, leading to light teasing from Sallah and his wife. Both of them were aware of Indiana's feelings toward his fellow professor, and often poked fun at him because of it. When Y/N returned from her shower to their shared bedroom, hair still wet and dressed in one of Indiana's oversized button-downs, Indiana felt his heart stop. There was no way he could lie leisurely next to her without his feelings rising to the surface. She tossed her towel into a nearby basket, digging through her duffel bag for her hairbrush. As she moved across the room, she could feel Indiana's eyes on her, causing her face to bloom in a deep blush.

"I can feel you watching me, Indy. Is something wrong?"

Indiana shook his head, ditching his dingy hat onto a nearby table as he ran a hand through his hair. His throat felt dry, and Indiana became unnaturally nervous.

"Uh, no, just-shirt looks good on you."

Y/N blushes further, the brush in her hair stopping momentarily. She looks up at Indy, his hazel eyes warm, a small, albeit nervous, smile flashing across his face.

"Thanks. For the compliment, and letting me borrow it," she smiles, glancing over at him again. Her eyes catch the line of red under his chin and she remembers the deep cut he'd sustained. "That cut, on your neck, did you patch it? It's deep, Indy."

"Oh, no, kind of forgot about it."

Y/N shakes her head, grabbing the few first aid items she'd brought along from her bag. She motioned for Indy to sit on the chair in the corner of the room as she came close, looking into his eyes as she began to clean his cut. Indy's hands came to rest on her waist, an action that had Y/N's mind blanking, her hands still as she simply stared down at him. Neither of them said a word, but Indiana stood from his seat, his hands resting on either side of her face. The two hovered in one another's space, Y/N waiting in anticipation.

"Are you gonna kiss me or not, Jones?" Y/N whispered with a sly grin. Indy shook his head and finally connected their lips, melting into a heated kiss. Her hands came to his hair, pulling him closer, as his hands fell dangerously low on her back. Indy pulls away, looking at Y/N with a knowing look. His nose brushes against hers, his lips almost grazing her skin as he speaks.

"Did you offer to patch me up so you could seduce me, Y/N/N?"

Y/N chuckles, chastely kissing his lips.

"Hm, maybe," she smiles a wide smile up at Indy, who lets out a breathy chuckle of his own, pulling her closer by her hips. He places another smothering kiss on her lips, followed by a sly smirk as he speaks.

"Smart girl."

-

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[oldmanjenkins985]

So, I wanted to talk about something since MD Twitter in particular seems to be having some issues with a current trend in the MD fandom. That being the Panic AU by @candyasbestos (apologies in advance for the ping, just felt like maybe you'd wanna see this)

So I'd like to start right off the bat by saying anyone who is uncomfortable with this AU is completely reasonable for being that way. It's more so that uncomfortableness leading to disdain for the AU that I wanna talk about.

So, I'm a horror fan. I watch plenty of things on horror movies and play plenty of horror games. And what exactly does horror media try and do? Make the player horrified and uncomfortable. Seeing grotesque imagery which may make you wanna vomit. One of the games that comes to mind for something that's definitely meant to make people uncomfortable and not just scared is Fear & Hunger. It's a game with incredibly uncomfortable imagery, sometimes due to gore and other times due to sexual themes. And it's perfectly reasonable for that to turn people off, yet I've never seen anyone have the kind of reaction to stuff like that compared to the reactions some people have had to the Panic AU

And that's the thing with the Panic AU, it makes *N* uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with himself due to Nyx's influence on him. That is the entire point of the AU it seems. And Nyx himself seems to be some kind of representation of mental illness (pretty standard horror trope, I know). I'm not an expert in the subject despite dealing with it quite a bit so I won't name any specific mental illnesses it could be, but it's clear to me Nyx is some kind of urge of N's.

I've made plenty of characters like Nyx for my original works that are also meant to be representations of mental illness. Voices that whisper to you to do terrible things, creatures that make you feel worthless and shut down, etc. I make these not only because I find them scary but also as reflections of my own experience with mental illness. And it's that first point again that makes me question people's reactions to it.

People have said "It's grossly out of character for N" and stuff like that which...honestly that makes me think they only saw the initial wave of art and don't really know how N feels about the whole situation. But the other thing is that so many AUs have intentionally mischaracterized N because of what the AU is. And I'm not talking just swap AUs, I've seen plenty where N's character is wildly different because of the circumstances of the AU. And I see the Panic AU no different.

I also saw another comment of someone saying "We shouldn't normalize behavior like this" and again, I question whether the person has actually researched the thing they're talking about. Nyx, the thing that makes everyone uncomfortable, is very clearly the *villain* of the AU. He killed Uzi, he wants N to kill Thad, he's a horrid little creature. Are villains not meant to do things we disdain? Murder, torture, etc. It's prefectly understandable these things would make people uncomfortable, but isn't that what many villains do? There's plenty of media with torture scenes in them which make people uncomfortable, but that's the point! Hell, some kid shows have torture scenes. What about the Lich's design from Adventure Time? He's a rotting corpse! In a kid show! His design is clearly meant to make the viewer uncomfortable.

So again, while I don't think anyone is in the wrong for being uncomfortable due to the AU, I think many of the criticisms are unfair. A piece of media which is specifically designed to make people uncomfortable should not be criticized for that very reason. Avoid it all you want, that's completely reasonable! Never feel like your reasons for being uncomfortable are unwarrented. But I'm just saying that if you were to critique Silent Hill because it's themes of mental illness and character depictions made you uncomfortable, and that was a *negative*, it just seems a little weird to me.

This is all just my opinion, obviously I'm not THE definitive person on the matter. And I'm not saying anyone who has the AU blocked or anything should check it out. I'm just saying, many people seem to be judging it unfairly.

[theocddiaries]

Sonic: What's up with Shadow? He's acting super weird. Do you know anything? Rouge: Uh, what don't I know, darling… He's in love. Sonic: Shadow? Rouge: Yeah. But he won't make a move because his someone is interested in someone else. Sonic: That person is stupid. Interested in anyone else when they have Shadow right there. Rouge: You think so? Sonic: Maybe he's a little complicated, but we all have flaws. Plus, Shadow is attentive, caring, and there's nothing more loyal than him. Rouge: Exactly. That's what I tell him, funny enough. [Phone rings and Sonic talks while checking it] Sonic: And when that person finally realizes, it'll be too late. And they'll be stuck knowing what they missed out on. Rouge: Would you mind writing that down by hand and signing it? Sonic [sends a message and pays attention again]: What? Rouge: Nothing. Just me and my little habit of always being right… Sonic: I gotta get going, need to talk to Sally. Catch you later? [rushes off] Rouge: Bye! …Stupid, indeed, at least he admits it even if he doesn't know it. [Later, at the tea shop] Tails: You said no to Sally? Sonic: Yeah. Well, no. I mean, yes, I said no to her. Tails: Sonic, you said no to Amy, now Sally… What is your type then? Some grumpy recluse that doesn't even match you? Sonic: Yep. Tails: …No… Sonic: Relax, I'm not gonna say anything to Shadow. Rouge already told me he's into someone else who's already with someone. Very stupid if you ask me. Tails: Well, if you find out who it is, introduce me. I might have to swap you out as my idol. Sonic: Sure thing. Go on, head home, I'll go pay. [Tails leaves and Sonic heads to the counter. Shadow is there.] Sonic: Hey, how's it going? Shadow: Good. How was your talk with Sally? Sonic: All good. Shadow: Hm… Sonic: Too bad she's leaving before you got to know her better. It's one thing to stay because you're dating someone here, and another to stay just for a friend. Shadow: …You turned her down, then? Sonic: Yep. I'm glad I didn't lose her as a friend. But I just like someone else. Shadow: Oh. Well, to turn Sally down for them, they must be out of this world. Sonic [chuckling]: You could say that, yeah. But they're in love with someone. The last thing they need is me getting in the way. Shadow: I guess. Sonic: From what Rouge told me, you must get what I'm saying. Shadow: …What did she tell you, exactly? Sonic: That you like someone in kind of the same predicament. Shadow: Nice of her to go around telling my business. Sonic: She only told me because I asked, don't be mad at her. I could tell something was wrong and I was worried. Shadow: I'm sorry. Sonic: Nah. That's what friends are for. Shadow: Yes… Sonic: Shadow, do you really like that person? Shadow: Maybe too much. Sonic: Well, I hope they realize it soon. Shadow: I don't mind waiting for them. It'll probably be harder for you, since patience isn't exactly your thing. Sonic: You know what? For them, I wouldn't mind waiting a lifetime. [pays]: Here. See you around. Shadow: Bye. [Rouge enters just as Sonic leaves and sits at an empty table. Vanilla comes over to her right away.] Vanilla: Remember when I told you to let your brother handle things at his own pace? Rouge [groaning]: Yeeeees, I swear I haven't meddled. Much. Vanilla: Forget that. We're going to meddle. A lot. These two are stupid. Rouge: Well, one of them admits it, so we're already halfway there.