#since I'm trying to revive this blog a little

[dunmeshistash]

Greetings, Mr. Meshi!

This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.

Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...

A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.

I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.

I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.

Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!

Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3

It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.

Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.

(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)

To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.

Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn

She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.

Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.

It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA

Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?

To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)

Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman

Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.

All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.

Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!

[quatregats]

In other news I have made a Very Detailed Playlist of Catalan and Irish songs for my boy Stephen Maturin and I’m debating whether to post it on my main or over here—on the one hand, I feel like my main is sacred language study territory but on the other I have been horribly neglecting it (mostly due to Aubreyad Brain Rot) and also this is definitely language content and fits the traditional genre of Posts Where I Just Go Off And Write Twenty Pages On A Topic

[missmonsters2]

—Just Last Lifetime | Two

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: Wednesday is determined to recreate the special moments of your relationship to revive your memories—to revive your feelings. But it becomes apparent that the same memories cannot be created twice.

Warnings: Heavy Angst. Heartbroken!Wednesday. DestinedToBeAlone!Wednesday. Amnesia. Flashbacks. Violent emotional outbursts.

PART ONE

Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Note: so this is it! The end...haha unless...👀 lol jk...unless ☝️

Count: 4.9k

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"We're going somewhere for our studies today."

You look curiously at Wednesday, clutching the straps of your backpack a little tighter at the sudden spring of information. 

Wednesday pretends to not notice your anxiousness, turning to walk off and expecting you to follow. She pays attention to the footsteps behind her, satisfied that you trail along despite clearly being reluctant. 

It's been easier to spend time with you lately, with Yoko being incredibly busy with her club activities, and Enid has been keeping herself busy on purpose to leave you with no choice but to spend time with Wednesday. 

Wednesday doesn't think you particularly hate spending time with her. You're always cordial and friendly. You've thanked her multiple times for taking the time to help you catch up on your studies and assistance with your current assignments. 

Just a few days ago, you gifted her 99% dark chocolate for all the help. Wednesday had been intrigued, thinking you recalled how she preferred the bitter taste. But the intrigue swiftly died when you informed her Enid let you know as you wanted to do something for her. 

It didn't matter. It was the fact alone that you went out of your way to give Wednesday something she'd like that mattered. 

"Where are we going?" You ask, your voice tinged with curiosity and wariness the further you walk past the school entrance, clearly leaving. "Are we actually studying?"

Wednesday's eyes peer to the corner of her eyes to look at you. 

"You study too much."

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Then.

"You spend too much time investigating, Wednesday." 

Wednesday didn't even look up at you as she continued to pack her backpack for the day. 

"I thought you were interested in coming along to find answers?" Wednesday's voice was dispassionate. There was a part of her that was tinged with annoyance that you constantly invited yourself along to her trips if you were just going to get sick of tagging along now. 

"I very much am, but we've clearly hit a wall and I'm not particularly looking forward to walking around in circles in the forest today," you pursed your lip but then smiled. "Why don't we take a little bit of a break today? If you really want to, we can continue investigating tonight instead."

"You're willing to sneak out?" Wednesday raised her brow at you. She thought you were ridiculous for trying to bargain with her. The investigation was important, and Wednesday had no desire to lose any time. 

She would investigate, and you were free to come along or not. 

"I'll break any rule for you, Wednesday."

You said it in such a natural way, and Wednesday found that she was unable to reply right away. She looked back down at the ground for a moment, blinking before she looked back up at you.

"Where are we going?"

Wednesday had several ideas of where you might take her. There was the music hall, the planetarium, or even the garden. But what she hadn't expected was that you'd take her to the carnival.

"You didn't get to enjoy it, right?" You asked as you stepped out of the taxi, paying the driver cash. Wednesday didn't answer, but you knew the answer. "I mean, probably hard to enjoy since you were chasing the Hyde and almost died after Rowan did."

That was another one of the reasons why Wednesday didn't mind that you came along with her investigations. You were the only person who believed her when she said Rowan was dead, despite also being of the people who saw him in the aftermath. 

When Wednesday asked why you believed her, you simply said she didn't come across as someone who would lie about it. So, if he was dead, he was dead. 

"I suppose," Wednesday looked at the carnival before her. It was moderately busy for a weekend, and she wasn't particularly interested in doing any of these mundane activities. 

"Alright," you clapped your hands, bringing Wednesday's attention to you. "We're on a mission today. I come here every year the carnival opens up to win the biggest prize, but my tickets were short since the carnival got cut short last time with the entire…situation."

"What are you trying to win?" Wednesday asked.

You grin at her, pointing far down the carnival with a specific booth. "That mini motorcycle."

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"This is rigged," Wednesday seethed, glaring at the booth worker who was nervously sweating ever since she approached. 

You laughed, grabbing Wednesday's attention and the relief of the worker. "I know, right? We're totally just losing money at this point."

It was a simple game. A gun with 9 rubber bullets and 10 balloons to pop, and you had to win 5 times in a row with no supernatural abilities to get enough tickets to win the motorcycle. 

It was not impossible, Wednesday knew that, but the balloons were not close enough where she could get away with hitting two with one rubber bullet. 

They've both spent $100 at this point and while Wednesday would get 9 of 10 balloons every time, you would hit one balloon before you missed every other shot, hitting the corner of the wooden target. 

As often as you refilled, it was starting to wear a dent. 

"You're terrible at this," Wednesday bluntly said, but you merely smiled and shrugged. 

A bit of wind was picking up, making the balloons circle around in their spot. Wednesday spotted her opportunity and chance when two balloons circled close enough towards each other, barely grazing. 

Wednesday timed it perfectly and shot her 9 bullets, using her last one to wait as they circled towards each other before shooting and getting them both. 

"Oh," you grinned. "That was really impressive." 

Wednesday didn't react to your praise, waiting for the worker to rotate the next round of balloons and repeating her actions while the wind continued. 

So far, Wednesday has won 4 times in a row. She had to pause as the wind died down, but it was sure to come back in a few moments.  

"What do you want if we both win?" You asked. "There's only one motorcycle, so you may have to settle for something else."

Wednesday snorted. "I'm not sure I should get my hopes up on getting anything." It was a dig at the fact you've been absolutely terrible with your shots.

"C'mon, Wednesday," you grinned. "Dream a little."

"I don't dream."

"Nightmare it up a little," you quickly rebuttal.

Wednesday sighed, looking at the prizes that hung and framed the booth. Outside of random useless knick knacks, there were just stuffed animals—which were also useless.

But Wednesday's eye caught on a large scorpion stuffed animal. She wasn't one for being sentimental, but this was as good as it would get.

"That," Wednesday pointed at the scorpion stuffed animal.

You looked at it, grinning as you knew the story behind it. "Sure thing."

The wind picked up again, and Wednesday took the opportunity to win the 5th time in a row. The booth worker, whom Wednesday also assumed was the owner, looked relieved and reluctant to hand over the mini-motorcycle.

"I don't want to stand here for hours," Wednesday deadpanned, having already spent 2 and a half hours winning this prize for you. You would be here for 2 and a half days at the rate you were going.

"We're just about finished," you told Wednesday, and she raises her brow, thinking you'd given up. 

But you slap down another $20 bill, smirking. Wednesday looked to your side of the targets and noticed the small dent you've managed to create with the rubber bullets. She narrowed her eyes, wondering if that was your plan all along. 

Wednesday gets her answer within minutes. Suddenly, you've turned into a master marksman, shooting every balloon precisely until you were down the last two side by side. You tilted your gun, aiming it at the target, where you created a dent in the side. When you shot the bullet, it shot inside the hole and bounced against the wood, flying out with just enough force to hit the two balloons from the side. 

Wednesday furrowed her brows in disbelief. 

It continued like that until you won 5 times in a row without pausing. The owner looked like he wanted to say something but merely rolled his eyes with a certain kind of fondness Wednesday was sure you earned over the years coming here. 

"The tickets get you two of these," the owner said, handing you two large scorpion stuffed animals.

"Did you have fun?" you grinned at Wednesday.

"It was passable," Wednesday admits, unable to fully say that even mundane activities like carnival games were interesting if she was with you. 

As you left the booth, you handed Wednesday the stuffed scorpions to hold while taking the mini motorcycle. 

"Look," you said. "Now your scorpion has a little friend to keep them company, or a little girlfriend," you wriggled your brows at her while Wednesday sighed, not commenting back.

She looks at the motorcycle and then at you. "Do you even know how to operate this?"

You smiled at Wednesday. "Not at all."

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Now.

The biggest prize of the carnival is still the mini motorcycle, as they don't change the award until next year. It seems they've stocked up since the last time the two of you were here. 

Wednesday knows you already have one, but it wouldn't hurt to have another one. 

You seem spirited to be at the carnival playing games, as it's obviously familiar to you. 

They walk up to the same booth with the same owner, who clearly recognizes them.

"Oh, not again," he sighs. "You're going to run me out of business. Any chance I can talk you out of winning again?"

You look confused, but when you see the motorcycle as the prize, a moment of recognition dawns on your face from the one in the corner of your room. "I've already won this," you slowly say as a confirmation but not as a memory. 

"Close," Wednesday drawls. "I won it."

You look confused as to why Wednesday would win the big prize for you, but before you question it, Wednesday speaks again. "It's time to repay the favor and win me one too."

You smile weakly as if the pressure is on, but you pick up the gun, studying the targets. The dent you created on the target was gone as the owner replaced it. You play a couple of rounds to get a feel of the game, while Wednesday puts little effort into her own game. It's unlikely there'd be wind again this time around. Even if Wednesday now knew the other method, it was something Wednesday hoped you would get on your own. 

As time goes on, you're starting to get the idea of how to win. It's rather satisfying to watch you get to the same conclusion. 

Wednesday takes her time achieving the same method as you. You're focused on your own game, not checking how Wednesday's faring. 

You both created a dent relatively around the same time before shooting in sync, winning 5 times in a row. 

The owner sighs, shaking his head and muttering about changing the rules about damaging the targets to win. Still, he hands you the motorcycle before asking what else you want.

"Uh," you hesitate, looking at the various prizes before you. Your eyes spot two stuffed animals that make you grin. "The bat and the wolf, please."

With the prizes in tow, the two of you leave the booth. 

"What are you going to do with the mini motorcycle?" You ask. 

"Teach you how to ride," Wednesday bluntly tells you. 

You look surprised. "Oh," you chuckled weakly. "Right, I guess I probably told you I wouldn't know how to ride one."

Wednesday doesn't know what to say about your comment, so she veers off topic. "What are you going to do with the stuffed animals?" Wednesday internally sighs at the ridiculousness of the question. There are very limited things you can do with stuffed animals. 

"I'm going to give them to Yoko and Enid," you smile. 

"Right," Wednesday mutters, feeling something bitter rise in her throat but unable to identify it. Despite coming here and doing it correspondingly, none of this feels the same. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

You shrug your shoulders before nodding. "It's not bad to take a break from studying."

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The second time Wednesday takes you somewhere, you give her a confused smile.

"I'm pretty behind on my classes still," you gently point out, hinting that you're not up for another day of playing hooky, and Wednesday concedes with a nod.

"I'm aware. We aren't taking a break today," Wednesday clarifies, "we're merely studying in a different scenery." 

The walk is silent as you follow Wednesday's lead. She takes you further down the river to an area you haven't explored before until you eventually reach a tall wisteria tree, probably the only one in Vermont, preserved with magic. 

"Wow," you breathe in awe, "I didn't know we had one so near campus."

The gothic girl is lost in her thoughts as she settles near the base of the tree, grabbing the books from her backpack on autopilot. 

You used to trail beside her, and now you always walk one step behind. 

It's something Wednesday noticed as she took you around various parts of the school during your study sessions in an attempt to recreate the memories. She knows you're starting to find her odd, but Wednesday can't afford to tell you what she's really trying to do.

Wednesday's goal wasn't necessarily to make you remember everything by taking you to these places that hold special memories. If you never remember, that's okay. What Wednesday wants is to recreate the memories in hopes they'll lead the two of you down the same path it did the first time.

But instead of growing closer like you did the first time, it feels like you're pulling further away. 

Even so, Wednesday can't stop trying. 

"Um," you mumble as you search through your notebooks. "I was hoping we could pick up where we left off on ancient languages?"

Wednesday nods, and the two of you delve into the usual strict business of studying. 

Everything is fine, and Wednesday is grading one of your practice sheets while you work on another. It's fine until she notices your trembling fingers. It's subtle as you were obviously trying to hide it, tightening your hands into fists and keeping them at your sides as you attentively look at the worksheet.

"I can't seem to understand the syntax—" you start to say but abruptly stop when Wednesday suddenly stands up, reaches up, and rips off a wisteria flower stock from the tree. She sits back down, reaching over and grabbing your wrist. The gentle squeezing of her hold prompts you to open your hand up, and Wednesday places wisteria stock into your hand.

The shaking stops, and Wednesday begins explaining the syntax to you without skipping a beat while you stare at her, stunned.

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Then.

"Let's go to the wisteria tree," you were holding Wednesday's hand as you dragged her along. "Today is such a beautiful day, and your skin is way too fair—I mean pale—I mean pallor—to be out in the sun."

Wednesday merely gave you an unimpressed look. 

"Once again, you're disrupting my investigations. At this rate, it will take me a lifetime to solve the murders going on here," Wednesday's tone was disgruntled. "It would tarnish not only my reputation but also my ego, and I will make sure you die a miserable death for doing so."

"Ignoring the fact that everyone on campus would totally be dead," you turned around and grinned, "We'd have spent a lifetime together—before you killed me, of course."

You didn't add anything else to your words, but Wednesday could catch the insinuations between the lines. 

A lifetime together. 

A lifetime with you. 

The idea didn't displease Wednesday at all; if anything, the fact that it didn't was more disgruntling. 

A large wisteria tree appeared, and the two of you easily settled in. Wednesday was grateful that she had an inkling she should bring a book today in her bag. 

"I love this place," you sighed with happiness. "I can't believe you found this place, and I've never noticed it in the years I've been going here."

"It's colorful," Wednesday drawled in response. The flowers that grew were vibrant violet and lavender, something she thought was entirely putrid, but she knew you would love it. 

Wednesday was about to say something else when she noticed your fingers were shaking.

"What's wrong with your hands?" Wednesday asked with narrowed eyes.

You looked down, finding you were shaking, before clenching your hands into fists. "It's nothing, it just happens sometimes."

"It's not nothing," Wednesday seethed, angered that you would dare lie to her face. "Why is it shaking? What's wrong?"

You looked like you were debating something for a long moment before you asked her. "Can you grab me one of the wisteria flower stocks?"

Wednesday narrows her eyes at your avoidance, but she gets up, pulls a flower stock off from one of the branches, and passes it to you as she sits down.

"Why does it shake like that?" Wednesday demanded again.

"It's my power," you answer softly, wrapping your fingers around the flower. Wednesday watched as the flower in your handle steadily withered and died. You were smiling at her, but your eyes had a distinct melancholy look.

"This happens when I don't use my powers enough or use them too much. Air is generally made up of a lot of different gases but too little or too much of one causes disruptions in my body because the equilibrium between the air outside and the air inside my body isn't stabilized," you shrugged, holding the withered wisteria flowers in your hands that no longer shook. "I try not to if I can, but plants are a cheat way for me to expel and absorb air to find the equilibrium."

"Why not? It's obviously the most efficient way to stop the shaking," Wednesday frowned. 

You shrugged. "I don't think it's a good idea for people to realize there are drawbacks to my powers and how to fix them. It may start with plants, but people will eventually start fearing I can use people the same way."

"Can you?"

You quirked your lip in response, and Wednesday knew the answer. 

"Besides," you sighed, dropping the dead wisteria stock with a regretful frown. "Some plants are really beautiful. It's a shame to kill them."

Wednesday looked up at the hanging flowers and scrunched her nose in disgust. "I encourage you to kill this offensively colorful tree."

"When it makes you so miserable? I can't deprive you of that."

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Now.

The silence drags on too long, and your lack of response prompts Wednesday to look at you.

You're staring at her before Wednesday watches peer down at your hand, intensely in thought. There's a mix of disbelief and curiosity in your eyes, and Wednesday doesn't understand why. 

This was normal.

"Wednesday," you call her name softly, making Wednesday's eyes nearly flutter at the sound. But the next words make her freeze. "Was I in love with you?"

It's something in the way you say it, curious and accepting. Something rushes into Wednesday's chest like a stampede, and she realizes it's hope.

Your tone doesn't suggest you remember anything, but Wednesday rationalizes that it's fine. While it would be ideal that you remember everything, it's not a condition Wednesday holds. 

You’re biting your bottom lip, looking reluctant. The silence falls again and lingers until you speak up again, trying to be firm.

"Wednesday, I don't know you—at least not anymore. I don't know what I felt about you before the accident...but that's gone. I'm not going to feel it just because you bring me to places that mattered to us. I don't remember it and I don’t understand it."

Stop talking.

Wednesday wants you to stop talking. She closes her eyes, turning her head away as if that would stop her from hearing your words. 

You don't take the hint. 

"I don't feel that way about you anymore." 

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It was fine—it was. 

Wednesday spends the rest of her week doing various things. She writes, then she goes to the library; she briefly goes to the bee club until she can't stand Eugene's chattering and leaves. She goes on walks with Enid, who smartly avoids talking about you, and sometimes subjects herself to Xavier's monologuing and brooding in his art studio. 

Wednesday fills the days with various activities while simultaneously avoiding areas you'd be in. It's not that she's afraid of seeing you, but simply that she doesn't want to. 

This is fine. 

The day has come to an end, and the sun has long gone from the sky. Wednesday decides to return to her room and play the cello before bed.

This is for the best. 

Wednesday focuses her thoughts on her cello and what she'll play, and perhaps Thing will be there to turn the pages for her. 

It is meant to be this way. 

The room is dark when she enters, and Wednesday knows Enid is not around. There's a small feeling of relief that she doesn't need to face her roommate right now. 

The silence in the room feels jilting in a way Wednesday's not used to. She used to be content in the quiet...until you. Then she grew used to your presence and soft chatter around this hour. 

Wednesday clenches her fists.

Good riddance. 

You were a mistake, and you did her a favor by cutting ties. This was something Wednesday should've done herself a long time ago. 

Thing greets her on her bed, and she acknowledges him with a nod. She shreds off her backpack and changes out of her uniform before grabbing her cello and heading out onto the balcony.

The scuttling footsteps behind Wednesday tell her that Thing is quickly following. 

"Bring me the new music sheet to play," Wednesday directs. She needs to play something different that would require her focus instead of her usual repertoire, which would allow her mind to drift.

Wednesday starts playing immediately, eyes focusing on the notes she's playing while Thing diligently flips the pages for her. 

This is good.

This keeps her mind focused and sharp. Wednesday doesn't have time to think about anything else when she has to focus on what note she'll be playing next. 

Despite the new piece, though, Wednesday's mind begins to drift. She has to make a conscious effort to keep her focus on the music sheet in front of her, but you pop up in her mind interspersedly.

"Wednesday, I don't know you—at least not anymore."

Her fingers falter, her cello emitting a jagged sound from her mistake. It's so unbelievably frustrating. She hasn't ever made a mistake while playing her cello since she first started learning it as a child. Years and years have gone by without a single mistake, and it was all ruined because of you.

You plague her like a disease that festers under her skin. Wednesday's done her best to ignore you for days now. She's been ignoring the sight of you, the talks of you, and everything down to the thought of you. 

Yet, you were still there, underneath everything. You simmer like a slow boiling kettle until you can't be ignored anymore. 

Wednesday closes her eyes frustratingly, willing you to leave her mind. She threatens her brain to erase the thought of you. It'd clearly be so much easier to forget you. After all, look how simply you live now without a memory of Wednesday. 

But you don't go away. The memories remain with Wednesday, torturing her for what will likely be the rest of her life. 

This was not a form of torture Wednesday ever thought she'd have to endure. 

Wednesday opens her eyes and stands abruptly as she walks back inside. She didn't bother turning on the lights, and the only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight shining through the balcony.

"I don't feel that way about you anymore."

Wednesday clenches her jaw and tightens her grip on her cello. 

How entirely damning. 

Suddenly, a white-hot ball of rage forms in Wednesday's chest; everything she's been trying to push down for the last few days spills over. Emotions run a rampage inside her, unable to be controlled and ignored any longer. 

Wednesday lifts her cello before violently smashing it into the floor, the body of it breaking in an uneven half, wood splitting into multiple pieces. The tailpiece cracks, and the strings snap, one of them into Wednesday's hand and cutting it.

The rage and adrenaline in her body don't allow the pain to register, even if she can see the blood. 

How could you forget?

Wednesday begins destroying other parts of her side of the room—her bed, her clothes, her books. She pushes her wardrobe over and knocks over the chair at her desk, the loud banging ringing in her ears but not loud enough to cover the pain in her chest.

Thing scuttles back and forth in worry, but he cannot do anything to help his friend. He immediately leaves out the door with a mission. 

How could you not want to fall in love with her again?

Wednesday pushes her typewriter off her desk—she thrashes everything off her desk. Her beloved typewriter crashes into the floor, the carriage breaking off along with other various parts. Keys pop off, making a ruckus on the floor as they hit it, but it doesn't bring any relief. 

None of this is. 

Wednesday pulls open the drawer, grabs out her manuscript, and looks at the last few pages she's written. Viper falls in love with someone who helps her with her investigations, and Wednesday has written up to the part where Viper begrudgingly accepts that fact she has feelings for this person and accepts their confession. 

Wednesday has never gotten rid of any parts of her work all these years. Sure, she's done revisions and draft editing, but every scene down to its core idea has never been removed. Wednesday is a stern believer that every scene is meant to happen, and she cannot change the course of her writing when she looks back. 

But Wednesday begins to shred multiple pages. She shreds page after page but doesn't know when to stop. Should she stop before Viper gets involved with this person? 

Along with the anger settles in hollowness. 

It's the realization that even if Wednesday destroys these pages, she can't really undo the fact that Viper has met someone and fallen in love with them. 

How could you leave Wednesday to remember everything alone?

Wednesday hears the door open, but she doesn't turn around. 

"Wednesday?" Enid's voice is soft and unsure, full of concern. 

Wednesday doesn't answer. 

Enid steps further into the room, shutting the door behind her as she looks around. The room is a mess with so many broken items on the floor, but her side remains untouched, nearly down to the tape they removed ages ago. 

Enid is careful as she makes her way to Wednesday, the girl's shoulder tense with obvious rage. But even so, Enid knows her roommate would never hurt her. So, she places a hand on her roommate's shoulder when she's next to Wednesday. 

"Wednesday—"

Wednesday is quick to whip around and look at Enid with violently accusing eyes. "This is your fault," Wednesday spits out. "I wouldn't be feeling this—this loneliness if you haven't been spurring lies to me about love." The tone is filled with disgust at the last word.

Wednesday has never expressed any ounce of emotion that would allow her to scream at someone, but she wants to scream at Enid and can't. Even if she wanted to, her throat feels so raw with something Wednesday can only detect is the urge to cry. 

But even if Wednesday threatens her body to refrain from crying, the salty water spills from her eyes without permission. The spill and spill, even if Wednesday doesn't make a single sound. 

Enid doesn't care if Wednesday punches, stabs, or even kills her—she pulls Wednesday into a bone-crushing hug. Her roommate resists at first, pushing against Enid, but it's useless against her werewolf strength. Enid holds on, even as Wednesday's pushing turns into desperate clinging. 

Wednesday's tears are hot, and Enid knows logically tears are always hot, but she finds herself surprised they are. It's just another sign her roommate is all too human too. 

"It's okay, Wednesday, I swear," Enid whispers, rubbing Wednesday's back in soothing circles, even caressing her messy braids. 

There's no heaving or loud sobbing, as that would be too much for the somber girl. Even so, Enid can feel the tears soak her neck and dampen her shoulder. 

"It's not," Wednesday's voice is so raw, as if the girl had been violently sobbing. She clutches at Enid's back, her eyes blankly staring at the mess she's made of her room. Everything is out of place or broken. 

It shouldn't be Enid here, but the person Wednesday wants will never show up.

"I don't have anyone anymore."

[lilac-hecox]

My one year smoshblr anniversary was a couple of days ago. I just wanna post a little thing! I love our fandom and all the amazing people here on Smoshblr.

When I came, I was really unsure how much I'd participate since my last fandom experience ended up being horrible. But smoshblr has showed me again how much fun and how awesome fandom can be!

When I was a baby blog @japhan2024 was one of the first people to talk to me and be so kind to me and make me feel welcomed!

Additionally, @smoshidiot was one of the first people follow me back and interact with me! And she and @smoshmonker were very sweet to me when I was brand new and invited me into their smoshblr discord!

My friend Zee (who has since deactivated and I miss her 😔) was so supportive of me creatively and inspired me to write my first smosh fic Timeless which was based on her idea!

Then of course I met my wonderful @xxmoonch1ldxx, and if anything I'm so beyond thankful he sent me that message on smoshblr and we became much more than friends, we became family to each other ❤️

@punk-gremlin and I made the rarepair discord that hosts so many fun and talented members! His input on my fics was essential to so many of my works being finished or motivated to work on!

My beloved @wispmotherr who has so many times willingly followed me into fandoms and lets me squeal at her and has the foresight and control to revive so many fun challenges such as the smoshblr valentines exchange and now smoshblr big bang!

@jovenshires , who is a beloved and extremely talented moot that is so good at stoking that sense of community.

Now, my beloved @sheisaquarius-blog who is a joy to be around and @chu-tea who is so fucking funny. I love them dearly!

What I am trying to say is I love Smoshblr, I love Smosh. You all have inspired me to write and create and connect to people in a way I no longer thought was possible.

For every interaction, joke, meme, headcanon, ask, like, creation, text post, thank you. Thank you for engaging. Thank you for being a part of this community and letting me be a part of it too.

Thank you for making this community so amazing! This is to all of you, to everyone! I'm so glad you were here or are here or will be here!

[the-choir-inbox]

THE CHOIR INBOX

Any questions? Drop it in our inbox! Be kind and appropriate :)

INFO: - this account is ran by @4pplec0re! hi! - i will draw the responses. the designs are based off of the original musical, mostly, but will have my own little twists - speaking of my own twists, this account will contain some sort of headcanons. i will not tell you what kinds or what they will be, because i don't even know yet....simply stay tuned :) - you can put anything in the inbox!!! if you send nsfw i will simply delete it and maybe block you. unless it's like, a mild joke. the kind of stuff a teen would say, you know - anything ooc will be written in brackets, [like so] :) - i'm new here so i don't know how many are in this fandom... but just in case, proshippers are NOT WELCOME HERE! - i don't know a lot of media (games, shows, movies, etc.) so if you have a question about one of those, i'll try my best to answer, but most of the time i will not be able to. sorry! an important detail to this account is that it is set in some universe where they are all revived together, sent back to where the coaster crashed, but survived this time. they do remember the warehouse shenanigans, but did not tell anybody outside of the choir anything about it (it will likely be referenced a lot, though). their reactions are drawn as if they are reacting to an actual online message rather than someone asking something in person. since a lot of people have asked about it, i thought i would put this here: i have never read legoland, and know nothing about it! anything thats said about penny here is based off of jane doe and personal headcanons, and has nothing to do with it. and no, i do not know anything about ezra lamb, either. he does not exist here. want to find a specific character's answers? search up one of these tags on the blog! ocean o'connell-rosenberg - #ocean answers constance blackwood - #connie answers noel gruber - #noel answers misha bachynskyi - #misha answers ricky potts - #ricky answers jane doe/penny lamb - #penny answers all choir - #choir answers (bonus) natalia bolinska - #talya answers stuff i reblog from my main account that has some validity in the inbox universe will be tagged with #outside the inbox. by that i mean whatever i reblog will be canon to tci to some extent, whether it did happen or would happen!

[chimeraboy-girlcock]

In the spirit of ask blog revival: Yalls hero team is so cute! Can you tell me more about yourselves?

There should probably be a proper introduction to these girls, huh

So here to present that are the leaders of the team...

Big Boobs 1: Kazuka! #1 heroine around. It's even in my name! Not that I'd need that to tell me I'm great.

Big Boobs 2: ...And Shiori. I can actually do my job without being distracted by my own tits.

Kazuka: Nope! Just by mine. I get it, they're pretty great.

Shiori: I'm choosing to ignore that so I don't have to kick your ass right now.

Kazuka: Anyway, you're right that you are pretty good at the whole heroine thing too. Just like the rest of...

妖艶戦隊メスレンジャー

(You'en Sentai Mesuranger, or "Bewitching Sentai Mesuranger")

(...or something like "Voluptuous Sentai Bitchranger", maybe)

Kazuka: Who we'll be talking about here!

Shiori: And the glasses...?

Kazuka: Are to make us look smart!

(long post below)

⁂♥⁂

Shiori: The two Mesuranger teams, originally comprised of six members total, were formed in the year 20XX to combat the evil organization-

Kazuka: They aren't here for a lore dump, Shi-chan! They're asking about the team. Plus, it's gonna get long enough talking about all 8 of us.

Shiori: I just thought some context would be useful, but fine. And don't call me that (at least not here...). You can start. I doubt you'd let me if I tried to go first anyway.

Kazuka: I wouldn't! Now, onto some profiles~!

⁂♥⁂

Kazuka: First off is my team, or at least the original three members (we'll get to Reina and her sister later). And first of the first is...

Akagi Kazuka (紅城一華) - Mesu1

Kazuka: Me! Beautiful, strong, amazing, etc. as always. No wonder they made me the leader.

Kazuka: Some people describe me as "arrogant" or "a delinquent", but I've never really cared about any of that! I'll just keep doing what I want to do and it'll keep working~

Shiori: She is astoundingly competent for someone so stupid. It's hard to blame her for her pride, unfortunately.

Kazuka: That's right! I am astoundingly competent! Anyway, up next is...

Konhara Fumi (紺原二実) - Mesu2

Kazuka: Fumi-chan! I almost asked her to host this, but before I could even ask the question she refused and said it "sounds like a pain" and "she's gonna go take a nap".

Kazuka: Which is about what i expect from her! It's fine though, a little sloth is cute for girls.

Kazuka: Make no mistake though, she's kind of a genius when she can be bothered to try! Maybe buy her some gacha rolls if you need something from her, that usually works.

Shiori: I don't mind her - at least she's quiet, unlike some people - but Mei told me she'd be mad if I didn't describe her as an "fucking astounding waste of talent".

Shiori: ...I think that might be more of a compliment than I've ever gotten from her. At least in her normal moods, but I wouldn't count the ones when she's... We'll get to her. Moving on.

Kikura Mitsuki (黄倉三気) - Mesu3

Kazuka: A really sporty girl! Probably the best brawler on our team, in fact! She's real sweet though!

Kazuka: ...Unless you piss her off. Then I'd run.

Kazuka: She usually calms down pretty quick once she catches you though! Her wrath has limits.

Shiori: Speaking from experience?

Kazuka: Yes! Both aimed at me and seeing her fight monsters. She's not nearly as forgiving toward those, of course.

Shiori: Mutsue describes them as "besties". I don't think Mitsuki would agree with that... But I don't think Mutsue really does either.

Shiori: She's also said something about keeping her as "a trophy", and I'm not sure how much of that is a joke.

Kazuka: Also, her tanlines are hot. Can't forget to mention them.

⁂♥⁂

Shiori: Time for my side of the team, then.

Kazuka: The secondary team! Since they're the secondary colors.

Shiori: Don't call it that. We're more like the dark team, working from the shad-

Kazuka: No one calls it that. She's being edgy. Ignore her.

Shiori: Tch. Whatever. Just let me talk about my team.

Suihide Shiori (翠秀四織) - Mesu4

Shiori: Yours truly. At the risk of sounding like a certain bimbo, I'm fairly good at what I do. Or rather, at everything I do.

Shiori: Not to imply I'm naturally gifted at everything. I work my ass off for this, and it pays off.

Kazuka: She's leaving out why she does that. She just can't stand seeing someone be better than her. Too much envy. It's cute, honest-

Shiori: Shut up. I'll kill you.

Kazuka: AHAHAHAHAHA. She's kind of an edgelord too, as you can see!

Shiori: ...

Kazuka: It was really funny when we were younger, too. Chuunibyou levels off the chart. Comes out sometimes even now, it's adorable.

Shiori: We're moving on.

Touki Mei (橙木五衣) - Mesu5

Shiori: ...Although I've seen her spell it May Tohki, writing in English. Says it's easier for some of her relatives to read it right that way.

Shiori: She's... Interesting. If you've known her for a day, you probably know her as nothing but a hardass prude. It's certainly the image she goes for.

Shiori: If you've known her for a month... You've probably seen her other side. I'm not going to insult my friend, so I'll just say she's... Unrestrained.

Kazuka: A big slut! One of the biggest I know, and she's got real competition!

Shiori: Like you.

Kazuka: Like me!

Shiori: Anyway, it's like she'd got no idea of self control, you know? She's a nun or she's a hedonist. Like the second she eats she has to be a glutton, metaphorically.

Kazuka: It's pretty funny, honestly. She's convinced the whole thing's a secret too, like she hasn't banged too many people for that to make any sense.

Kazuka: Still, it's more of a charm point than anything. She's funny!

Shiori: Agreed. She's my friend for a reason.

Kazuka: Oh, but Fumi disagrees. She wanted me to say "Hypocrite." That's all!

Shiori: Probably better that way. Let's move on.

Shimiya Mutsue (紫宮六重) - Mesu6

Shiori: Mutsue. She's rich. Exceedingly so. She's also... kind of a dumbass.

Shiori: She'll call herself a proper lady, but she's pretty easy to convince to do just about anything if you bribe her. It's like she likes getting shiny things even if she's got basically infinite money.

Shiori: I'm not sure how much is her not knowing what's anything costs to normal people, and how much is her not caring.

Kazuka: She's a greedy rich bitch and a bimbo, basically. That's what Mitsuki says, at least!

Kazuka: Well, sometimes. When I asked her for this she got too mad to speak.

Shiori: I think Mutsue beat her in their last fight. Boxing or something.

Kazuka: That would explain it! Micchan isn't that competitive, usually, but something about Mutsue just sets her off...

Shiori: Anyway, it's been long enough. Time to talk about...

⁂♥⁂

Monoe Reina (白黒永零那) and Monoe Nanase (白黒永七世) - Mesu0 and Mesu 7

Shiori: The Monoe Sisters, Newest members of the Mesurangers. They're... Different.

Kazuka: I don't think they're human. Reina certainly acts like she only came to earth recently. I've met some pretty odd people, but she might be the weirdest.

Shiori: Yeah. And Nanase's definitely been here for longer, but there's still something strange about her. Not to mention that's she's apparently been fighting monsters for a while now, even before we recruited her. No transformation, no gear, just her.

Kazuka: From what I've picked up? Pretty sure they're angels. Nanase left... Heaven? I guess? And Reina was sent more recently to find her. Not sure what she's supposed to do now that she has, but whatever it is it hasn't happened yet.

Shiori: Yeah. That fits with how Nanase talks about her "old job." Or her family. Not sure she's realized using those interchangeably isn't normal, even if you don't like either. Reina seems like the exception to that, though.

Kazuka: Yeah. I'm not sure how being sisters works for angels, or whatever they are, but Reina clearly loves her "nee-sama" too. Might be why she hasn't taken her back home, or whatever she was meant to do.

Kazuka: I'm sure it's all fine.

⁂♥⁂

Shiori: I suppose that's everyone.

Kazuka: Yep! Took long enough.

Kazuka: And now, signing off, it's...

Kazuka: Akagi Kazuka, Mesu1!

Shiori: And Suihide Shiori, Mesu4.

Kazuka and Shiori: See you next time!

♥END♥

[the-kr8tor]

Hehe 910 PICKLES??? Ooo I'm gonna doodle hobie and syn as ghosts once exam revision + exams are over (After Tuesday next week I shall be officially out of the chains of exams and free to doodle) Also I better know when this blog officially turns a year old- cus you bet I'm gonna do a juicy, angsty lil gift for it >:) Daily Hobie HC!! You and Hobie were best friends as children. Practically tied at the hip, doing everything together. Of course, there were tough times. Bullies, fights, blood and tears, but nothing could break the bond. He gifted you a bracelet for you two to match. The last sighting you've had of him before he disappeared. Your thirteenth birthday, alone, and without Hobie by your side. Every birthday is a shell of a promise. "When we're twelve, we can go see the stray kitties!" "When we're thirteen, we can go....." "When we're fourteen.." Eventually the empty promises became blurred in your head, much to your dismay. How did he even look like again? Would he look the same, now, if he wasn't dead? He left you then. And now? Look at you. A tough member of a little rebellion group, roaming around the darkened streets to think over the memories, trying to desperately revive those times where he mentioned something, anything, about being older.

But why were you holding onto this? It's been years, and he's probably dead. His life was tough, always has been. Perhaps he ran to avoid it. And kept running ever since. You glance down at your wrist, the worn out matching bracelet still snug on your wrist. Of course, there were red lines from the fact it was so small, but you kept it on, moving it sometimes throughout the day so you didn't restrict any blood flow. However, you stopped in your tracks upon hearing a certain voice. A voice that belonged to a very recognizable person, going by the name of Spider-Man. You remember a few other members of the underground rebellious group wanting to join ties with him at least, so you follow the voice, keeping your footsteps effortlessly light. The only thing that could give you away now are the spidey-senses, but if you're quick enough, you could possibly get past it. As you near the punk Spider-Man, you see him beginning to turn around as his spidey-senses go off. However, you managed to buckle his knees in and knock him out just in time.

Only God knows how you managed to drag him back to your house, but you did it, tying him to a chair to ensure a passive encounter. He's very clearly blacked out from your attack, and so you roll up his mask to rest on his nose, making sure he can breathe just fine. Since it was night, you had no problem just collapsing onto the couch and dozing off, with your mind waking you up at exactly 6 AM in the morning. You glance over to Spider-Man, tied in the chair, having gained consciousness the same time as you, looking around the place. With a yawn, you greet him, throwing on your robe over the clothes you slept in and putting the kettle on for some tea.

He's confused by your unbothered and non-threatening acts, slowly beginning relaxed in your presence as you both simply just engage in conversation. You unsheathe a nearby pocket knife, undoing one of his hands from the chair as you go to grab you both some tea, simply just taking casually about the corruption and crime of the city. However, Hobie is rendered silent by what he sees. A worn out, matching bracelet on your wrist, his eyes widening in shock. Slowly he puts the cup on the table, prompting you to raise a brow at him. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the other half of the bracelet, small and worn out as well. He holds it out in front of you, watching your face contort into a mix of emotions, tears brimming at your eyes as he smiles at you. He calls out your name, watching as you hurriedly cut away the rest of his ropes. Hobie is quick to wrap you in his arms, burying his face into your shoulder as small tears fall onto your skin. You easily reciprocate the hug, taking in his warmth and letting the smell of his perfume (hehe) wash over you You found him. You finally found him, after years. He's back. I have been trying to send this for legit a few hours now I am so tired :(. -🐦‍⬛

That's a lot of pickles 😮

Oohhh that already sounds amazing!!! I bet it'll look as good as the anon drawings you did awhile ago!

The anniversary will be on the 25th! You'll know bc I have a lil something something planned 😉

DAILY HOBIE HC!!!! 🎉

GAHHHH!!!! I WAS READING THIS WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN BC IT WAS SO GOOD! TRULY NEEDED SOME POPCORN WHILE READING IT

Oh I'm a sucker for best friends reuniting 🥹🥹🥹

R was so mean for beating the crap out of him lmaoooo 😂 they're like "spiderman?! *Cracks knuckles*" also also i think he didn't notice them immediately bc his spider senses didn't work on them bc it was like "bestie?"

Oh noooo!! Get some rest, my love ❤️ ily

[that-starry-freak]

Welcome!!!!

Hello!!! I'm Echo, or Starry I don't mind! I am just a silly little guy here on Tumblr thinking about my silly guys and studying them! Don't mind me!

I have a side blog for my current main hyperfixation, for now being my Tsams side blog! Go check that out if you are interested in my Tsams content: @dont-hug-me-im-hyperfixating

DISCLAIMER: not all my art is Tsams/tsbs!! I draw a lot of Fnaf sb dca things, and ship Sun x Moon outside of the tsams fandom! I do not ship incest, and any of the ships you see will never be in the context of them being siblings!

Tags and Aus vvv

My Tags!

#art - this may be shocking, but its my art

#traditional art - my art, but its ~traditional~

#Astro Rants - chat I yap a lot

#oc stuff - its in the title hon

My Aus! (Needs to be updated and changed but I dont wanna)

Dca/fnaf

Mind over Matter au: You've known about fazbear ever since you were 3. You grew up with it, and started working there pretty early on. Now you're moving to their newest location, The Mega Pizzaplex. But you have ulterior motives, and you arnt just there to be a security guard.

You're told to stay out of the daycare, but you've never really cared about what Fazbear tells you to do. You meet the daycare attendant, and when the lights turn off, you have to think quick on your feet. But you end up taming and saving the viruses Moon, and start to slowly get closer to the prickly Sun. While slowly working on your own, personal and more important mission (left vague because I hope to write this story, so I'll keep the twist a suprise <3)

Tag - #MoM au

Rockstars and Romance: In a world with soulmate marks, its unsurprising that everyone wants to know what the back of your's looks like. You however wear a pair of gloves to hide the marks, not needing people claiming to be your soulmate. But when your manager Mr. Emily says you'll be working with Sun and Moon, two robot rockstars that work under the same manager as your rival Vanny, you begin to have sneaking suspicions of who they're for.

Sun and Moon were never made to be rockstars, they were created for the circus. But when fazbear decides to rebrand, they were the only robots that were spruced up and forced to sing. They enjoy it for the most part, but marks began showing up on their hands. They paint over them, but every time they wake up, it's there again. They can tell one set is supposed to be each other, the sun and moon marks were obvious, but the two red stars were not so much. They assume they were meant to represent their dead ex, but when they meet Red, they begin to have other theories.

Tag - #Rsr au

Companion: Sun was always very, very stressed. So they made him a companion: Moon. Thats it, that's the au.

Tag - #cau

Sams

The Dying Sun's Protostar au: When Eclipse (v2) died, the star wasn't destroyed with him. So Moon brought it back to his universe and hid it. Things went on as normal, and soon they forgot about it. But when Solar died, Moon was desperate to get him back. He attempted to use magic to use his lingering energy and revive him, but it didn't work. Instead, the star absorbed his eccense and became sentient. Leaving Moon, and the rest of the celestial family, to raise a small powerful semi-animatronic child named Star. Also Moon changed his name to Nexus to distinguish himself from Old Moon, not wanting to keep being compared to someone who he wasnt.

Tag - #tdsp au

Ask Blog

Relocation au: Eclipse (v4) secretly went to a universe with a lord Eclipse with the help of Spanard, convincing his Servant Sun to go against him and steal the star. He brought his family back, and they all thanked Eclipse. He went there every once and awhile, because it felt nice to have people care about him. Sure, Earth in his universe did, but that was about it. But when Nexus went insane trying to bring Solar back, he succeeded in killing his family. All but Eclipse. He attempted to go after him, but Eclipse ran to the universe he had helped before, bringing Spanard with him, now living with the ex servant Sun's family.

Tag - #relo au

Cotl

Rather than a Widow au: The Lamb didnt remember his own name at this point, so used to being called "The Lamb". They were so stressed with the cult at this point, but there was one good thing: they were married to Narinder, their God. However, when Narinder betrayed the Lamb and asked them to die permanently for his release, they refused. They fought, and the Lamb won. They let him live, but they're divorced. The Lamb is exhausted now, tired of their stupid cult members and their ex now living in their cult. Narinder is still in love with them, but The Lamb really doesn't want to marry him again. Guess we've got a lovers to enemies to lovers slowburn

Tag - #RtaW au

[bleue-flora]

I just watched the finale again and what was the idea of c!drunz killing the server and reviving the server again supposed to mean, was that whole saw trap scene staged? because how were they gonna gather everyone and kill them all, and then revive them till they got their simple peaceful family and life back and if is staged, why even say all that to c!clingy if they were sick of c!clingy fighting c!dream all the time and seeing him as the big bad. If its not staged, why is it something that they thought would work? I feel like I've misinterpreted it as like c!drunz gathering everyone around like they're sheep into a pen lmao. Another thing is, they wanted to test the heroic/sacrificial limbo but the way they phrase the conversation is as if the person that died is gonna die forever while the other person leaves to tell everyone what happened which makes me believe that part was also staged because lets say if c!tubbo stayed behind and died making the sacrifice, then they'd revive him, find out the limbo and then would they like kill him again? like what would they do, put him in prison, let him be free, treat him like vikk and lazar despite saying that they made a mistake with those experiments and revived and killed too many times.

And if the server is off balance by revives and kills why would they want to kill everyone on the server then revive again to begin with. I'm just a little confused on the plan and I think you were the blog that said that it was all staged iirc and I wanted your insight into it because oh man I am struggling here. I do get their plan isn't meant to make sense though I feel like I missed something which has made me more lost.

Hmmm asking all the good questions. Well I should say to start that while I do think we should look at what staged duo does and says with skepticism, after all these two have shown they are liars especially to clingy duo so there are a lot reasons to doubt them. On the other hand 1) technically it can’t really be staged because it wasn’t super planned out, clingy duo came and they were not expecting it. 2) It is the finale and the content creators would know this so they would try and give us at least some answers…

Anyways while their actual Plan remains unclear, though I have some theories and thoughts about it [here], there are things we can determine pretty reasonably are legit or not, because we know they tell both lies and truth. For example, we know they experimented with Lazar and Vik - so they do spill truth obviously. It’s just how to determine what is and wasn’t true.

The biggest thing I can say we probably can say pretty strongly is that that saw trap was such a load of bs. For starters, it wasn’t meant for clingy duo, and when I’m thinking about characters who are willing to be selfless and die a hero, that would be significant enough to Dream or Punz to do this, not a whole lot of options come to mind. I’ve talked about it [here] about who it could be for, but since then I’m starting to wonder if it was supposed to serve a different purpose entirely… anyways the other thing and perhaps most noteworthy is that staged duo doesn’t seem to give a damn about the trap one way or another. When Tommy shows up in the finale and says Tubbo is dead, Dream doesn’t believe him, double checking with Punz to make sure he checked [clip] (checked what? No freaking idea, limbo I guess or more likely to see if there was a body probably… I don’t know). So the fact that they seem to care so little about their experiment and clingy duo in general is telling to me. The other thing is that the variables that change limbo seem to me to be pretty minor differences, like I’m not even sure if there’s a way to replicate and make it back to the same limbo, if it matters both on how you die and what happens before. I mean multiple people have died to a sword or axe, presumably specifically Dream’s sword or axe, I mean how different is Tommy dying in the finale to him getting beat to death in the jail cell with a potato, I mean plus technically Ranboo’s death could be seen as selfless right? Dying for his son seems kinda selfless, (but they didn’t even go talk to him in limbo anyways, so do they really care about limbo that much?), therefore I don’t really think that point matters. Hell even if it did, I don’t see why they couldn’t test this on Vikk or Lazar (maybe that was their original plan?…). I mean it just sounds so stereotypically evil - especially the way he presents it, the way he says they couldn’t test it because they are evil [clip], and the fact that it aligns with the hero dynamic fueling Tommy’s ego and such. In other words, playing into his world view. And whenever they are doing that I’d say it’s a major red flag. So, the saw trap I think we can say pretty reasonably, based on what we do know is facetious, the question of what the room is for and who however remains up for speculation.

As far as them killing everyone, I don’t think this is true either. I mean for starters why not kill Tubbo and Tommy to start the process, why not kill Sapnap like he talked about to Foolish, while on his own. Like if the goal is to kill everybody why let someone go tell everyone to come after them. Killing Sam, Sapnap, Foolish, Quackity… etc is a lot easier than trying to kill then all teamed up together. And we know unless they have some super weapon that they aren’t confident enough to even kill them all as they said in the finale and here [clip]. So unless they plan on trapping them in the prison and nuking them, or summoning a freaking dragon, or teaming up with XD or something, I don’t think that’s a feasible plan and they may be very screwed up mentally but they aren’t stupid.

They also are all about the balance but yet have no issues bringing Tommy back after he gets murdered, and they seem just in general so calm to whatever unbalance of such is going on. I mean we do know to some extent that it’s truth, XD tells Foolish his lives are limited because he’s low on power and he needs more death to fuel him, and we know the book is directly connected to XD since in the prison podcast it summoned him. So the unbalance is pretty confirmed as true even if perhaps their ‘solution/plan’ may not be. All the best lies have truth in them.

Which brings us to more questions than answers. Why bring clingy duo to prison in the first place? What and or who was the saw trap actually for? What was the actual plan? And why monologue to clingy duo at all? To which I unfortunately have little satisfying answers, which trust me frustrates no one more than me ;). What I can say perhaps their reason for lying and putting on a show at all was that I think they planned on letting someone go and for some reason wanted them to tell the others. And I base this on two things - their utter nonchalance, the way they just don’t seem to even care about clingy beyond being infuriated by them murdering Dream , and just the absolute unhinged way they act at times. The villainous, “This is so cute. We shouldn’t interrupt them” [clip]. The way they talk about the saw trap/experiment - “we’re just too evil” and like Punz’s ominous “choose wisely” as they leave [clip].

I don’t know but a good portion of that monologue feels very - we were practicing our evil laughs backstage before we walked out here, ya know… ;D

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

The fandom-files are turning six!

I missed my blog anniversary (August 10th) last year, so I wanted to do something small and simple; a get-to-know-me of sorts!

💙 The first fandom I created and started using this blog for was Detroit: Become Human, back in 2018. I lost my interest in the fandom and subsequently the blog following some negative experiences.

It wasn't until roughly around August(?) 2022 that I chose to revive this side-blog right around the start of The Mandalorian and The Bad Batch series. They reignited my love of the SW franchise stronger than ever following the fallout of the sequel trilogy (which, for all it's faults, I still largely enjoyed; but my experience with the wider fandom grew increasingly negative).

💚 I've been writing fanfiction for a long time; probably since I was in elementary school. Was it any ever good? Debatable... But I had fun, and that's what matters most. 🩷 I've enjoyed writing (save for school assignments) since I was little! I started out writing them by hand, then translating everything over to a Word Doc or a fanfic site of choice before I got a phone, by which point I wrote half by hand, half by phone. Most of my fics on this blog were written on my phone until late last year, when I finally got my own personal laptop!

💙I may not be the most social or chatty of fan artists/writers in the community where I've laid the majority of my roots these days, but I appreciate each and every friend I've been fortunate enough to make in my time here.

With severe anxiety, it isn't often the easiest thing putting myself out there, but I'm trying. Learning. Growing. I have so much appreciation for those who have shown me support, made me feel like a part of this space, and taken the time out of their day to share how my work made them feel in the past. It means a lot to me, it's impossible to say 'thank you' enough.

It happened sooner than I expected, just the day before my humble side-blog's sixth anniversary, but I'm excited to say I have now reached 200 followers!! Looks like I have to pick up the pace on piecing together that follower event!

Hugest of thank you-s to everyone who's decided to come along for the ride since the blog's revival, silly as it often is. 🩷

[fish-ler]

Hiii I just stumbled on your askblog and I was curious since "fish-ler" sounded pretty interesting XD I have tried reading your blog and it was a little hard to find out about your au(?) personally so in simpler terms is it okay if you explain? I'm sorry I'm an actual dumbass JJSJS

Also glad you're back in the fandom! I miss the fandom being active even though a year later I'm still really into the onceler fandom JSJSJS but it's nice seeing some people keep it alive

Hey Cloud!

I know my blog its a huge mess, when i started it i really didnt know what was i doing.〒▽〒 I wanted to create my own Onceler au, i struggled with finding a original one, i chosed Fish-ler because its sounded good/funny(?). I have a lot of lore in mind but the principal problem its that i am SOO lazy to draw everything... I really want to finish it because i think it has potential, ill try my best.

I will explain to you what has happened so far,

basically, there is Greed-ler and Once-ler (ik they are the same person but the fandom separates them, yk) Greed was in a vacation trip on his boat, but the boat sank down, he falled in the sea until he reached an island, where he met Oncie, who ended there because on an family trip Chett and Brett pushed him into the sea and ended inn the island, they tried to survive together and one day Oncie founded some magic shell necklaces who turned them into fishes, (Greedler turns into a shark and Oncie into a clownfish) and thats it for now, i promise it will get better i have a lot of ideas 😭😭😭 and for Universe-ler, (from the comic "The Origins") he is like a sort of god who made that Greed-ler end in the island. Oh, and they are in love.

I know its super confusing, ill try my better. (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(sorry for my english, im spanish, and also sorry because i dont know how to explain myself)

Well, i hope that clarify something! Anyways, thanks for asking!! And i also hope that the fandom revives !

[if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi]

"...and I wonder if gods cry too-"

Act 1 - Bleed for him or Make him bleed

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi, or Makisig (the Tamawo bros). Full Credit goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz. Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto.. All involved characters are adults.

A/N: Pouring my heart and soul in this multi chapter fic. CHAR LANGGG. HAHAHAHA. If you see a she + she ship at the first part, that's intended. i didn't mess up the pronouns.

Genre: Angst pero may kissies po for us kasi galing po kami ni Maliksi sa date, opo.

Best paired with: Tiny Vessels by Death Cab for Cutie

"...smart move. Keeping true to your words is a smart move, tamawo."

Maliksi let out a sharp exhale through gritted teeth as he clenches his fists while looking at the ground, not lifting his head up to stare at the imposing dalakitnon in front of him. "Make it quick before my brother notices that I'm gone and god forbid starts looking for me."

"Impatient as ever. Do you remember that little story I told you before?"

The dalakitnons weren't always hailed as dangerously powerful before, as beings not to be dealt with...

Yes, their magic has always been far more superior than the other engkantos and that led to them toying with lives of weaker beings and mortals, not expecting them to retaliate.

There was that dark age when their kind was almost exterminated by the very humans they looked down upon and tormented.

Who would've known that humans, when working together can be an unexpected threat- especially since gods were known to favor some of them.

Humans can be strong, oh so strong- But they cannot get rid of the things that makes them human. They are too emotional, too attached to one another, too....soft.

It didn't took long for the dalakitnons to study them, discovering that they were lead by a babaylan- she was smart not to have blood related family present at that war. But not smart enough to conceal her budding feelings for one of the hunter's sister who often visited them. The way her hands brushed against hers, the way her eyes glimmered with more hope even after being beyond exhaustion, and the way she looks at her...

The remaining dalakitnons can still remember the babaylan's scream the night that they were able to lay hands on her lover- they didn't kill her right away... They poisoned her mind and heart slowly, corrupting her to the core until she was just an empty vessel, a puppet for their amusement as she grabbed her brother's blade and used it against her beloved babaylan.

Oh, the horror in that babaylan's eyes as she realized she was too weak to even think of hurting her lover just to save herself, the way her tears fell as she embraced her tight one last time and whispered how much she loves her before falling off a cliff to their deaths, not even mentioning a single one of her fault for being a victim of the dalakitnons.

Before the war ended shortly, the dalakitnons gathered to put a curse on that babaylan's bloodline- she is not to have any female descendants for 6 generations- making sure that that wretched bloodline will not live on, or at least be thinned enough to not produce someone who will be of threat to them.

The dalakitnon has always seen almost unrivaled potential from Maliksi, that's the very reason that they answered for his call when he was trying to revive his brother Makisig. And how convenient it is to make use of him right now, afterall, a debt is a debt.

"The curse we've put on that bloodline has been lifted 30 years ago, and as expected...And a female descendant has been born around that time... Remember our little deal, Maliksi?"

"Yes, but why don't I just kill her to make it easier and faster for both of us?"

The dalakitnon softly chuckled before answering,

"And keep killing every single female born out of that family for centuries until we engkantos raise suspicion once again?

We would've just curse that damned bloodline again if it was possible, but it's not!

Those damned gods favoring that wretch even after centuries!

It will only take time before some human stands up to us if we kill them, so we won't.

And don't act like it's much of a bother, all you have to do is to keep her and use her to make tamawo babies. Isn't that just your normal job? That's a win/win for both of us."

Maliksi looked at his reflection in the small pond under the moonlight, steeling his resolve before taking the path that you walk at night according to the dalakitnon. It didn't take long before he spotted you walking alone. You were young, probably in your mid twenties with a small stature. He wonders if he'll be sinning against the same gods that favored your predecessor for doing what he must do.

"Binibini~" He softly called out to you with that sweet tone his Kuya Makisig uses to get any lady swoon over him.

You turned around to be met with Maliksi's golden eyes and a smile no one could ever resist.

"...yes?"

You softly answered as you get lost in those eyes and before you knew it, he was already leaning in to kiss you. The tamawo's saliva instantly kicking in like a drug and quickly putting you in a trance.

Makisig was too impatient for all that sweet talk and such that his kuya usually does. As long as a tamawo kisses a human, or any other way to get them ingest their saliva, then everything is all set up for them to take the human back to Biringan City.

The moment you woke up from what seems to be days of slumber, you were already part of Maliksi and Makisig's household. You were informed of your set up, and what your agreed upon duties are.

Makisig was sweet but he never touched you nor interacted too much with you so it gave you an idea that you must've belonged to his younger brother, Maliksi.

It was weird since you were the only one who follows him around like a puppy while his brother has multiple ladies on his harem- you didn't question him though since he seems to not like it when the other ladies bother him with questions. To your surprise, he doesn't act that harsh around you. He often listened to your requests and treats you nicely and properly which often leads to the other ladies' jaws on the floor, eyes wide as plates as they question their own sanity upon seeing how calm he is around you.

Maliksi felt guilt out of anything else whenever he sees your face endearingly staring at him with those eyes. The night he found you, he made sure to put you into twilight sleep and tamper with your memories- something he will always beat himself over.

You were just an innocent human after all. A civilian caught in the crossfire. As much as he hated your kind for hurting his family, you didn't exactly do anything to harm him and his Kuya, hell if it weren't for his deal with the dalakitnon, you'll probably live a normal life until you're old...and die a normal death. Yet here you are following him around without any thoughts but to be at his side. It made him sick to his stomach how he practically erased all of your entirety- the memories of your friends, family, and even your own personality. It's as if you didn't exist before being with him.

He can never be mean to you- as much as the others may think how out of character it was to be seen holding you in his arms and making you smile, he knew that it's the least he can do for you after what he put you through-

"Maliksi?" You softly called out for him while sitting on his lap, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, Y/n?" He smiled as he gently brushed your hair away from your face, tucking gently behind your ear.

"One of Maki's girls was talking about her life back at the human realm...why can't I remember mine?"

There it is- that dreaded question leaving your lips once again. And once again, he has to lie to your face.

Maliksi held your cheeks tenderly before pressing his lips against yours, "What do you mean, beautiful? Maybe it's because I give you too much kisses. You know how dangerous our kisses are, right?" he softly said in between kisses which made you giggle and just let the question slide like you always do as you wrap your arms around him while kissing him back.

"Hmm. Maybe. It's okay, though. I love your kisses, and I love you."

"I know, Y/n. I know, sweet girl."

There it is, out in the open- how you were falling for him. Completely and without any inhibitions. Not that you would know better since all you knew was him. Your world revolves around him.

Yet all he sees in you is a kind and gentle person that he's badly wronged. What he feels for you is pity above anything else.

Love? He is not someone who knows of love other than his love for his brother. That same love that brought this fate down to you. He doesn't love you or does he plan to. But he is not a monster, he will not say that to your face. What's a little lie to prevent him from hurting you more than he already has?

Art by: @ask-emilz-de-philz, that's their OC, Maliksi the Tamawo. Please visit their blog and support theem <3

((I LOV THIS FIC SO MUCH- LIEK... HNGGGG. PART 2 WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW HAHAHA. MY INTERNET IS JUZZ ACTING UP RN KAYA DI KO MATAPOS))

[sereves]

Tsubaki and Lawless Sibling Headcanons

After reading that meme about what woulda happened if Lawless and Tsubaki were on good terms I had to make these headcanons

This. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about this-  Allow me to do a small rant/analysis-

Lawless is canonically referred to as having a family root according to Gear in this panel

Yall no one can change my mind Lawless got fat daddy issues that run deeper than a black hole

As shown in these panels he has a deep respect and gratitude to Saint germaine for reviving him, and even goes as far as to lecture Kuro for being "rude"

I also find it interesting how of all the siblings Lawless is pretty much the only one that was happy to be revived, aside from Ildio who was more or so neutral on his new life. Lawless pretty much took his new life and appreciated his second chance-

Personally in my opinion, I believed because he was a lower-ranking prince who was killed in a conspiracy he may have never gotten a chance to live life? He looks like he died pretty young and since he was a lower ranking prince, he may have lived with a silver spoon in his mouth, but likely was never able to go out to much and was probably very lonely. He probably only had Guil by his side which is why I love and adore their father/brother dynamic 😭

SPEAKING OF BROTHER DYNAMICS- KURO I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU-

dAWG- WHYD KURO DO HIM SO DIRTY 😭Bro straight up just lost Ophelia, is about to lose his "second father", then gets dumped by his own god damn brother- Like Kuro pretty much told him "we shouldn't have been born". Like bruh lawless got done so dirty in a span of like a week, like even after this he goes back home  Ophelia's kingdom was destroyed 💀

Also he had to walk to the meeting stop for about 10 days+ and then walked back on his hedgehog stubby legs like is this man okay, IMAGINE WALKING ALL THE WAY ON FOOT AND JUST BEING DUMPED LIKE THAT- no wonder bro held such a fatass grudge against Kuro. Centuries later they meet again and  Kuro really had the audacity to be like, "why u mad at me" as if he didnt kill Saint and told Lawless they shouldn't really exist 😭

Anyways, moving onto the actual Tsubaki and Lawless siblings headcanons-

Lawless desperately wanted a family and tried seeking that through his new found Servamp siblings, but sadly none of them really wanted it aside from Ildio and Freya. Love the headcanon that Freya canonically thinks of Lawless as her "dear brother"🥺

Tsubaki later down the road looks like he craved that too? In fact it looks like he went to every sibling and tried asking them who he was and none of them knew. But what Im curious is about is this

Lawless already knew about Tsubaki? When we got Lily's POV, he stated that he was visited by Tsubaki, and Tsubaki started laughing because none of his siblings knew about him. Now Im curious, because if Lawless had met Tsubaki in the past, what was it like? Did he just know of Tsubaki from C3? Given the fact that Lawless has spied on them sometimes when he was bored, is that how he found it? But I have a weak heart, so lets make some headcanons on had they met earlier and actually became close.

In a perfect world, Id had pictured Lawless helped Tsubaki escape from C3 and they both became close since both craved familial love. Its been revealed that Tsubaki is trying to protect his little sister so for sure, bros in the same boat as Lawless trying to make found family

There was also an old book called, "The Hedgehog and the Fox" where a quote is stated, "The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing." Reference: https://www.jimcarrollsblog.com/blog/2018/5/23/are-you-a-hedgehog-or-a-fox#:~:text='The%20fox%20knows%20many%20things,various%20wiles%20of%20the%20fox.

I like to think this very similar to Lawless and Tsubaki. Tsubaki, is likely one of the strongest siblings and can clap cheeks instantly. He has many skills and is canonically the only one that can "kill" his siblings, but Lawless is older, so I believe the "the hedgehog knows one big thing" is really cute, but it feeds into the dynamic that, yes although Tsubaki is superior to Lawless in terms of power, he has a lot more to learn.

Considering Tsubaki was locked up in C3 for a while I would like to think Lawless took him out and immediately tried getting him situated in the modern era. Thats my perspective on "hedgehog knows one big thing" like imagine being locked up and experimented for ages, and finally being introduced the modern day, like when was the last time Tsubaki saw the sun 💀

I also headcanon Lawless is probably pretty well off considering hes greed and judging from the fact hes constantly wearing rings and bracelets like I doubt those are fake, and he literally shops at Shibuya. Lawless is canonically a bougie bitch 💀

Please give me cute shopping montage of Lawless dripping out Tsubaki in modern Japanese styled clothing LIKE I WANNA SEE HIM WEARING THIS

Anyways thats all I have for now, but TLDR: I love servamp sibling interactions, strike please stop depriving us

[pink-evilette]

I rly want to understand the coquette subculture. It seems neat! but I'm so confused. I thought I got it, but the more I look into it, the less coherency I see (at least, in a way I understand). I don't see any consistent color palettes, textiles, topics, ideology, makeup, hairstyles, music, community language or signals. I can see ballgowns & lace w/ glitter & then tshirts and flannels in a dingy laundromat. I've seen people recommend Little Women & American Psycho in the same breath w/ no further elaboration. Celebrities w/ completely separate style influences are often grouped together. I see a lot of idealization of wealthy femininity ("old money", luxury brands, mostly rich celebrities, preppy vibes, heavy amounts of skincare/selfcare/"wellness" routines which cost $$$$) but also lots of depictions life's struggle w mental illness, substance abuse, & others things commonly associated w poverty & lack of class/femininity (Cigarettes, sweatshirts, the aforementioned laundromat, not eating, pills, speculating about Anya Taylor Joy's coping mechanisms??). What is it that unifies y'all? What is it that I'm missing? I feel so lost & I want to figure it out :/

this is a great question and I can totally understand your confusion! the way I see coquette/faunlet is more of an attitude than a specific style/aesthetic but I still call it an aesthetic if that makes any sense. it's about reclaiming your own girlhood in whatever way that looks to you, we all look and dress differently but have the same sorta energy that connects us as a community.

it all began with nymphet, which was all about classic americana, lolita, lana del rey, gingham, coca cola, diners, priscilla presley etc. but the tag got censored by tumblr because many kink blogs were infiltrating this innocent subculture with sexual material. in this era girls were feeling connected to dolores haze from lolita through their own experiences and related to her as a tragic figure.

the community was revived many times but the current home of the community is with @coquette-club which was created by @lovesickbrat and also used by @bbabyyy ♡ there is a lot more to our history that I'm missing out on but if you look on my blog you will find more explanations.

there are many subtypes of coquette which is why you see so many conflicting aesthetics within the tag, from coquette noir (which is like an expression of French new wave film stars, 1920s aesthetics, Betty boop, mainly black outfits etc.) to bubblegum coquette (all things pink and girly, electra heart era marina and the diamonds, barbie etc.) and many coquettes on here either fit into these substyles or blend some together to make their own personal style!

the old money aesthetic is popular but controversial due to its implications, and I'm personally more into the thrifty side of coquette, and using pieces that I've had for years in my looks.

as a community we usually try to distance ourselves from the pro-ed/pro-ana communities as they can be harmful to our vulnerable members, since they promote eds and make them look glamorous which is something we don't want associated with our subculture.

I hope this answers your question - in short, coquette is about being authentic to yourself, reclaiming girlhood, community and sisterhood, incorporating your own aesthetics and interests (e.g. horror coquette) and expression ♡ if you have any more questions I'll try my best to answer them!

[faceglitchsworld]

I'm finally in my bed, trying to sleep, but since there's still some noise outside I think I'll use this occasion to said a really short thing before going to sleep.

I don't want to take this occasion to say how 2023 has been to me. I just want to say that I want to take 2024 as another step for the better in my life and hoping that what happened in the last months of 2023 will get resolved for the better.

Believe me or not but at the end I found some goals that I want to achieve, at least here, for this year.

I want to get better at giffing (and if you didn't know that, now you know that, just search #teresgifs in my blog and you'll see my works and laugh about it)

I want to write the letters for the groups's anniversaries and starting the birthday letters for OOO and Kingdom (only these two groups or I'll explode). Probably Xeed too if Nature Space will release more content of them because I can't make an entire letter full of dad jokes for Doha...

Create my usertag. I thought about it and I really want to make one to at least catch up with my mutuals' creations. Don't get me wrong, I love scrolling through the dashboard and reblog stuff but these months I noticed that it has become tiring and I think I'll slowly detach from it. Or maybe not who knows. Anyway, I really want to create one at least for all of you dears.

Reviving the sideblogs. For real this time. This is something I always say but then it always failed somehow. This time I really want to revive them or at least the K-Bands one, which is my first and most attached sideblog I have. It's my little corner where I post pics of my favourite bands and cry about it, I want it more active than usual.

Reaching 100 followers here. This is not a big deal because who cares about followers here but, on the other hand, it's a very doable goal to me and I would be glad if I would reach it. Also it's a perfect number, it's better than whatever the number of followers I have right now 😩

And this is it, this is what I want to reach this year on this hellsite. And now, I'll leave my special corner dedicated to my moots.

@odeblr @jongside @serendipminie @rieloving-mess @strhwaberries @seungbo-today @onlyoneofyouu @thirdslowdancer @snoos-tattoos @aureangels @atinystraykid @toxicrevolver

All of you, whether we just interact through reblogs, replies under posts, through the DMs or even just once in a while and that's it. I'm glad I met you.

Wishing you the best for this year 🤍

[vitamango]

Oh! Hello there! Here's something different! A rare text post! I realize I interact very rarely here (and tbh interact very rarely on social media at all, in recent years) but I'm trying to figure out a nicer balance than just dead radio silence.

I guess, hi hello. I'm King -- I'm a nonbinary artist. I draw. I love video games and cute things. And I am trying to beat my anxiety over using social media back with a stick. I dunno how many of my followers are still active here, but regardless of whether you have found me recently or stuck with me for years, you guys really mean a lot to me. It's a really quiet little corner of the internet, but it's mine, and I find comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who was kind enough to take a moment out of their life to see my work.

I want to challenge myself to start posting a little more so I'm slowly posting some of my old art backlog, but maybe also just chattering mindlessly and finding comfort in blogging again.

Man, it's really been a while since I last posted a text post, huh. To be honest, somewhere in the last 2-5 years, I've developed some kind of crippling fear of being perceived and just kind of drop my art on social media like a cat dropping a dead mouse on someone's pillow for praise and just disappear back into the ether. I miss it, though! I miss interaction even if I'm not a particularly chatty person in blog form but, hell, it's a blog and it's silly to be worried about blogging... on a blog.

So here I am. I think part of the anxiety has stemmed from trying to slowly make the switch to twitter and there being so many unspoken rules of engagement on twitter that at some point it all just got all twisted up into a big ball of "well idk how to interact so I guess I won't!" and somehow that just kind of extended to pretty much every social media thing I have. It's kind of wild how hostile social media feels nowadays -- is it just me? I know I have a lot of anxiety but I hope someone out there relates!

Tumblr is a strange blogging platform, isn't it? It makes interacting with people kind of hoop-jumpy and difficult, and yet it still feels a lot more approachable than something like twitter in my opinion (my beloathed).

I've been considering making the jump to Cara seeing so many other artists do the same (and I have made an account), but to be honest, the idea of maintaining yet another social media account fills me with so much bone-deep exhaustion.

I've been really struggling with artblock recently and finding it difficult to find enjoyment in the hobby that I loved so much and has been so formative to me. It feels strangely alienating finding myself incapable of producing artwork the way I used to, but it's been a slow work in progress. Reviving my social media accounts is a step in some direction, honestly! Or at least, I'm hoping it will be.

Tangentially related, I don't draw a lot of fanart -- not because I'm not a fan of things but more because if I spend the energy on drawing, I often want to spend it on original creations (as the #1 and singular fan in that fandom LOL), but I always feel like I should do it more often -- mostly because it's such a delight to see other fans trickle in out of the woodwork. I think this every time in the rare occasions I do post fanwork, haha!

Anyways, I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this but if you did, hello! I hope you, specifically, (yes, you!!!) have the bestest of days! ;)

469th post on this blog, too. Nice.