#simpsy? also adorable

[misterspectacular]

Mr. Burns (and Smithers) in 2x5: Dancin' Homer

Summary of Mr. Burns' scenes: At the beginning of the episode. Mr. Burns and Homer get drunk at the ball game and have fun. Homer's dancing ruins the team win for Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns bans Homer from company outings forever. Smithers is glad Homer was banned and laughs diabolically.

---

Mr. Burns: Ah, the Gammills. Good to see you.

Mr. Gammill: You're an inspiration to all of us in waste management, sir.

Mr. Burns: Well, take your mind off contaminates for one night and have a hot dog.

Mr. Burns: Put a little smile on his card, Smithers.

Smithers: Already there, sir.

---

Smithers: (whispers) It's the Simpsons.

Mr. Burns: Ah, well, if it isn't the Simps.

Smithers: Uh, Simpsons, sir.

Mr. Burns: Huh? Oh, yes. (Reads card) Homer and Marge Simpson. Oh, and these must be Bart, Lisa, and expecting.

Smithers: The card needs to be updated, sir.

---

Game announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, throwing out tonight's first ball, the man whose name is synonymous with our nation's safest and cleanest energy source--Mr. Montgomery Burns!

( scattered applause)

Smithers: They love you, sir.

Mr. Burns: As well they might. You know, Smithers, when I was a young buck my patented fadeaway pitch was compared by many to the "trouble ball" of the late, great Satchel Paige. Spit on this for me, Smithers.

Smithers: One hocker coming up, sir. ( spits)

Mr. Burns: (throws ball)

Smithers: I think I could actually hear the air being torn, sir.

Mr. Burns: Oh, shut up.

---

Mr. Burns: Sitting with the employees. I guess this proves I'm their friend. You did get me something on an aisle, Smithers? I don't want to be surrounded by them.

Smithers: Here we are, sir.

---

Mr. Burns: (to Homer) I suppose you want a beer.

Homer: Me, sir? Oh, no, not a chance. Only idiots drink beer.

Mr. Burns: Actually I was wondering if you'd join me? My treat.

Homer: Oh. Well, if someone of your stature can enjoy a beer maybe I'm all turned around on the subject. Wait a minute. We're not having a drug test tomorrow, are we?

Mr. Burns: No. Vendor, two, please.

---

Mr. Burns: The hitter's off his rocker, kissing Betty Crocker!

Homer: Good one, sir.

Mr. Burns: I used to rile the late, great Connie Mack with that one at old Shibe Park.

Homer: Little baby batter can't control his bladder!

Mr. Burns: Crude, but I like it. What do you say we freshen up our little drinkie-poos?

Homer: Don't mind if I do.

---

Mr. Burns: Well, Simpsy, you up for another wave?

Homer: All right, Burnsy.

Wo! Wa! Wa! Wo! Wo! Wa!

---

Mr. Burns: Damnation. These banjos couldn't carry Pie Traynor's glove. My one game of the year, ruined by pathetic incompetence.

Homer: (riles the crowd with dancing -- Mr. Burns is not pleased)

---

Smithers: That was certainly exciting.

Mr. Burns: Yes. Unfortunately Homer Simpson's shameless display of exhibitionism tainted the entire evening. I want him banned for life from all company outings.

Smithers: (chuckles diabolically)