#simply. why can’t we play lost forever and ever

[punkbarbarian]

first arc 2 session was very normal. will threatened to murder the god of chaos and death

[callooopie]

The night, she calls me.. // Vampire!HOTD men

Come with me to the other side. Make the girl in black your bride — The Night // Aurelio Voltaire

It took all my willpower to not make this like a What We Do in the Shadows bit. No one asked for this either.. so that’s why I’m writing it. Is this gonna be a series of headcannons? No… no. No no… no no nono. I’ve started tooooo many writing projects I cannot… or can I 😏 (I actually can’t I have too many requests I need to lock in on)

Did you know what land you were walking on? Did you see the figure watching you from the top floor window? Was that a shadow you saw out the corner of your eye?

Davos Blackwood // Bloody Lord of Raventree Hall

A manor buried in the dark forests of Blackwood Vale, an urban legend surrounded the woods and the semi-ghost town beside it. Locals would talk of a figure that walked the empty streets at night, and the older residents would sometimes speak of an old estate once owned by a wealthy family that could be found in the heart of the forest. But no one has seen this place, or perhaps no one has ever returned alive to tell the tale.

The ever playful lord of Raventree Hall likes toying with his victims before they meet their bloody demise. If a fool ever gets lost on his land, Davos will follow them around in the form of a raven, acting as if he was leading them to the help they desperately called out for. Some would fall for it; the ‘guiding’ corvid that had brought them to this dusty manor. Little did they know, they wouldn’t be leaving that place.

He’s the type to make Raventree Hall look appealing and safe to the unwitting person, sometimes even playing the part of a humble boy who lives in his family’s old home. He’d learn all about a person as he feeds them food, bloody meat cooked to perfection for any human. Eat up, Davos would say, it’s a good cut of meat.. he’d hate for it to go to waste. Oh? The red wine tastes metallic? Strange.. perhaps a bottle gone bad?

He’d keep his lover human, not out of admiration of their humanity—but as more of a ‘pet’. The only reason Davos would turn a human into a vampire would be for his own entertainment purposes. It’s more fun when you can handle him and not pass out every time he does something. Plus, he wants the security of knowing you won’t be leaving him anytime soon. Forever stuck by his side, living forever in a world of night and pleasure by his doing and his doing alone.

Before you become his lovely lady, perhaps you’re one of those lost souls who stumble upon the estate. Either by poor luck or poorer fortunes, you catch the attention of Davos. He scares you from the shadows, setting candles alight with just a gust of wind, slamming doors and sending phantasms to spook you with howls and haunting steps, sending ravens and crows to caw and peck at you. It’s only when you get to the main atrium of the manor does he strike. A sinister smile on his pale face as he lunges at you from out of nowhere, teeth sinking into the skin of your neck as hands travel up and down your torso.

A master of shadows and tricks, Davos isn’t one to meet his adversaries head on. He doesn’t think they deserve his attention. He can deal with vampire hunters and celebrity ghost hunters with a wave of his hand from his bed chambers at the very top of the manor. He can make it as if ghouls are chasing around those idiots, birds seemingly attacking them on sight, if he’s feeling funny he might summon a demon or two. Why does he have the title of bloody lord? Well, he’s just a messy eater, and the corpses he leaves behind are unrecognizable from what they once were.

Jacaerys Velaryon // Draconic Prince of the Night

The picturesque village that the castle of Dragonstone sits next to has gained a plethora of tourists. However, no one has ever been allowed inside. From a mixture of local superstition, and simply because the wooden gates and doors will not open. Nothing can break, or even burn, the wood. Cursed or blessed, many have stayed away from that castle said to have been forged by dragon fire.. if local legends are to be believed.

Local legends also speak of how beautiful women are kidnapped from their homes and beds, never to be seen ever again. As a tourist, you believe you’re safe.. and you don’t really believe in those tales.. at least you don’t believe them until you awaken in a bed that’s not the hostel’s.

Jacaerys is a vampire who is easily bored. He wants someone who’ll keep up with him. A pretty princess to take care of and to simply sit like a doll, but also one who has a bit of wit and brain to them. Someone to go hunting with, or to fly around in the dead of night together. Someone to chase, someone to have intellectual conversation with.

A little more serious than a certain bloodthirsty lord, Jacaerys will turn his lover almost immediately. What’s the use in keeping you human and mortal? There is no use! Now you’re just like him, and you two can bond and be merry together in that lonesome stone castle. All the others he had spirited away were awfully dull, perhaps you will be different?

Like a dragon, he hoards his treasures. He’ll keep you close, too close almost. Jacaerys will hand feed you blood, lifting someone’s arm up to your mouth and praising you for dining on the thick liquid and flesh. He’ll hover near you, you two are royalty after all. It’s good for a prince like him to check up on his princess. He’ll dress you in gold and red fabrics, or maybe nothing at all! Jacaerys does like it when you’re only clad in gold and gems, sit yourself down on his mountains of treasure and make your nest; he’ll show he’s a good dragon who takes care of his mate.

A scholar of dragon magic, the only thing that can destroy his castle is what made it in the first place. Dragon fire. And dragons died out long long ago sweet thing (or never existed at all…). He’s perhaps the only one that remains! Believe whatever you will, Jacaerys will happily prove to you that dragons are real. And you believe it as you watch him transform into one to deal with trespassers who had somehow broken into the castle. Sure there’s ways in if your crafty enough, but what people don’t say is that there’s no way out once you’re in. The charred piles of bones that litter the treasure room are a testament to that.

Cregan Stark // Vampiric King in the North

Perhaps the only one out of the trio to be semi-normal. An urban legend surrounds the snowy mountains of a large wolf that leads lost wanderers to an empty yet warm and alive stone keep. It’s said if you stay for one night and leave the next day, you’ll find your way back to civilization. However, overstay your welcome and you won’t be heard from ever again…

Your car had broke down, and you hadn’t expected such a large snowstorm to sweep through. You’re on the brink of hypothermia, however you spot something in the distance. The howl of a wolf reaching your ears as the wild beast walks toward you. It almost seems to gesture toward you with its head, beckoning for you to follow. You’ve heard this legend, and so when you find yourself in the safety and warmth of a stone fortress you do your best to remain courteous and respectful. The plan was to leave in the morning, however when you try to open the large wooden door to leave—it slams shut on you before locking tightly.

Cregan likes your humanity, wishing only to learn from you. He would not covet you like a prize, nor would he treat you like a pet. To turn you without your consent? Unfathomable. If you wish to be turned, he would gladly do so at your request. Although he would tell you what you’ll miss, what you will be letting go of in exchange for this eternal life of coldness and blood. Perhaps it’ll all be worth it in the face of his love and companionship?

Teach him everything about you, and he’ll teach you all he knows. Cregan’s an old soul who’s lived more lifetimes than he can remember. He’s powerful, ancient; that uppity prince and cocky lord answer to him! He’s their overlord, they are his mere sons subordinates. All that aside, Cregan has vast collections of knowledge from throughout the ages. Although do remember, he scratches your back, and you will scratch his. Or he’ll show you what happens to those who’ve forgotten such an important lesson.

Unlike his underlings, Cregan can control his appetite for blood. He’s learned, and so he keeps a stockpile of it. Some of it ages like wine in a cellar, other bottles he keeps near and close. A special cabinet is reserved for special blood of course. What? You’ve never tried the blood of a priest? It’s heavenly.

Unlike the other two, Cregan lives more on red meats. Which he can get from almost anything. Although due to the coldness of the region, not many animals venture out. For a special occasion, you’ll find your plate full of fresh organs and fatty raw meat. A glass of thick red liquid right next to your plate. Cheers and eat your fill, it’s fresher than fresh. And who knows when an unsuspecting person will come up these mountains again?

[agi-ppangx]

Duh, girl.... I just thought of a story that's really sad, if one of the straykids members whose relationship with his girlfriend feels distant. Because of what? Because he's lost interest and they rarely communicate because they're really busy, but... He doesn't want to let you go, with the words "I still love you". But you're really tired of this kind of relationship, and you're also stressed because you have a lot of work, same as him.

Do you think they'll continue with the vague relationship or finally break up even though there must be a little regret and sadness for sure?

💭tell me you love me

pairing: skz member x fem!reader

warning: swearing

an: anonnie why are you doing this to me💔 no but i actually love this idea so much and i may have made this drabble a bit too angsty, choosing an abrupt ending, but i hope you'll like it nonetheless<33 i also didn't mention any names so you can imagine any of the members :]

“i’m tired of this,” you whispered, tears making their way down your face. he only sighed in response, plopping heavily on the couch. you felt defeated, stressed and so extremely tired. you were standing in the very middle of your living room, staring at your so-called boyfriend. “i told you so many times i’m a busy man. i can’t help it. and you were aware of all of this when you decided to be my girlfriend!” he shouted, but you didn’t even flinch. you didn’t care anymore. “well, i thought that maybe you would try a little bit more to make things work. but here we are instead,” you spat, your voice trembling. “i’m trying! stop with this whole narrative, you know i still love you.”

you always thought your relationship was stable, that your fights were just meant to make it stronger. you wanted to believe in forever with him - since day one you promised to make effort and find time for one another. but it seemed as if he broke the promise at the first opportunity. and when you confronted him about it he always had the same response - “you know i still love you.”

“have you ever thought about how i feel? how i feel when you ignore me for your friends, how you literally avoid me when we’re both home and how you don’t even speak to me anymore? do you ever think about anything else but yourself?!” “shut up! it’s not my fault you are insecure about everything. i’m tired and when i get home from work all i think about is getting some sleep, not making sure you are taken care of. you’re a grown-up, you don’t need me around all the time.” he got up abruptly, screaming at you. you scoffed at his words. you couldn’t believe your ears - it had to be a nightmare, right? you took a step in his direction, then another one until you were standing right in front of him, looking him straight in the eyes. your vision was blurry but it didn’t stop you from trying to burn holes in his face. “do you even love me anymore?” you asked, your voice barely above the whisper. he kept eye contact with you for a while before speaking again through gritted teeth. “you know i do.” “then say it properly. tell me you love me and say you’re sorry.” he hesitated. he fucking hesitated and that was your last straw. you left him in the living room and went to your bedroom to pack essential things. “oh my god, of course i still love you. stop acting like a fucking child!” he went after you, screaming something after these words, but your mind couldn't comprehend his lies anymore. your face was covered in tears, eyes stung and it felt harder to breathe with every passing second. when you had all your stuff packed you faced him for the final time. “if you at least apologised, i would've stayed. i would stay here with you and try to work this out, because i do love you, truly. but you’re a fucking liar playing on my emotions and i’m not going to waste even a minute more on you,” you shouted into his face, almost choking on your tears, and simply left the apartment. and the worst part is that he didn’t even try to stop you, letting you go.

taglist: @lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01

let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist💚

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[poetpony6890]

After seeing that artwork of ash and Kit as parabtai I simply can’t stop thinking about it and I’ve decided I need it to happen. They would be such a good match.i can feel it in my bones.

They both have odd,slightly (extremely) abusive parents. They both lost a parent so their other parent hates them for it. (I’m not sure the queen hates ash but I mean who is logically leaving a child alone with Jace forever? Especially a Thule! Jace who lost Clary and is literally crazy.)

They are both fearie princes, half shadowhunter. They both have a (in law) Uncle Kieran.

I know, logically that once the unseelie courts finds out that Kit is the first heir, they will want him dead. But I need him to have what he’s always deserved, a big (hopefully loving) family.

Sometimes when I think of Kit, I think of him in that basement in that off putting house, with no one but the tv. He would watch shows about family’s and wonder why he didn’t have that. HIs dad only loved him when he needed him. The actors on tv love each other and they aren’t even really father and son.

Then there’s ash, who spends his days in that cottage, when Janus leaves,he flys around and waits for him. Wonders he will reconsider teaching him to play the piano, just so he has something to do.

As we all know, their fathers SUCK. There’s Johnny rook, a criminal, lying, cheating, scumbag who would sell his own son for a pretty penny if it meant he could have rosemary back. Just the way Janus is for Clary.

Sebastian, a horrible, fucked up, murder who only ever cared about himself and his sister who he wanted to fuck. Messed up dude all around. Definitely not someone you want to call a father.

With Ash’s powers of love and loyalty, the first time Kit sees him, it clicks, he knows who this is. He knows he has to protect him, as family. When Ash sees Kit, it’s stronger than any magic in faerie, because he’s looking in a mirror. He sees what everyone else sees when they meet him, how they feel the need to protect him. He will protect himself more than anyone else ever had. This is the sister he had heard of, this is her son from many years. This is how they will learn what family is. Because they both finally have the thing they have been searching for longer than a father or a mother. Someone to call their brother, someone to fight with but more importantly, for.

[heavyhitterheaux]

December 21st

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: You and Jack, your fiancé of two weeks, make it official. Forever.

Pairing: Baby!Jack Harlow x Baby!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was one in the morning, cold as shit outside since it was the middle of December, but you wanted to look at the stars and Jack could never tell you no. You were currently laying on his chest as a blanket was wrapped around both of you when you just knew this white boy had lost his fucking mind. 

“We should get married.”

“Jackman, are you high?”

“No, but even if I was, my answer wouldn’t change. Ever since I saw your cute little self with those braids in your hair when you first moved here, I didn’t want anyone else.”

“Wait... you’re fucking serious? Jack, our parents will kill us.”

“Can’t kill us if they don’t know.”

“I hope you don’t expect me to give you an answer with that horrible ass proposal you just did.”

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Jackman Thomas Harlow. Can’t live without you stink.”

“Well, since you’re practically begging me to, yes. Now where’s my ring?”

“About that…”

“Jack, you literally proposed to me without a ring?”

“The thought just popped in my head just now! I didn’t really think this through.”

“Jackman!”

“When I make my first million, I’m buying you the most beautiful ring that’s pear shaped since I know you love it so much. But I'll get you something else in the meantime.”

You simply shrugged.

“I would’ve said yes to you even if you proposed with one of those rings from the bubble gum machines at the grocery store.”

“Damn, mamas. I got more money than that.”

“Jack, we have had to eat at my parents house and your parents house all week because we were tired of eating ramen at our apartment.”

“Touché.”

It was around nine in the morning when you had called Dani to see what she was up to and wanted to see if she wanted to spend the day with you. 

Jack had just proposed to you the night before and you were itching to tell someone. But the two of you agreed to not tell your parents fearing that they may tell the two of you to wait.

But you didn't want to wait. You knew for a fact that this was the person that you were supposed to be with it, so why not just go for it now?

You knew Dani wouldn't let it slip and figured that she could also serve as your witness.

The most important question on your mind was what you were going to wear.

You thought that you obviously weren't going to go all out, but still wanted to look pretty for a day as special as this one was going to be. 

Jack had gone out with Urban and the two of you decided to tell PG later that day when all of you met up to play laser tag as a way to celebrate your birthday that had taken place about a week before.

It was around 2 in the morning when the two of you had decided to finally head back to your apartment and both of you couldn't help but to be all smiles. 

As Jack was driving, the radio was on a low volume as you were staring out the window. You were broken out of your trance once Jack had grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

“Why are you so quiet, princess? What are you thinking about over there?” He asked as he got off the highway and was heading to the parking garage of your apartment building. 

“Just taking it all in. Really happy and excited for this.”

“Even if you don't have a ring?”

“I have you, so what do I need the ring for? That's more important than anything.” You said while turning to look at him.

“But you deserve one, babe. It was just a spare of the moment thing and I just blurted it out.”

“But you knew that whenever you did it that I wasn't going to say no. Like I said, I have you and the material things can come later.” 

“I already have an idea in mind of how it's going to look too.”

“And I can't wait to see it.”

Dani had picked up on the third ring and you couldn’t help but to blurt it out.

“Hii baby girl!”

“DANI, JACK PROPOSED TO ME LAST NIGHT!” You basically yelled and it was quiet for a few seconds as you were waiting for her response.

“I…  wait… seriously?”

“YES!”

“And what did you say?”

“I said yes obviously!”

“Lil Bit….” Dani started to say and your heart sank feeling like she didn't approve.

“You think I should have said no, don't you?”

“No! That isn't it at all! The two of you are just so young. You literally just turned 19 the other day.”

“But if you know that's the person that you want to be with, then why hold back? I love him very much and anyone can see that.” 

“I know you do. We can all tell. I just…. Don't want you to regret this. I… not that I think you will.”

“Why am I going to regret marrying my best friend and favorite person in the world? I thought you would be happy for me.” You answered and you could feel your eyes brimming with tears.

“I am! Just…”

“Whatever. Bye.”

Without another word, you hung up your phone and threw it on the bed behind you as you angrily wiped the tears from your face that had fallen.

Next thing you knew, you heard your phone ringing and peeked to see that it was Dani calling you back and all you did was roll your eyes and watched it until it stopped.

When your phone rang again, it was a facetime call from Jack and you quickly answered, but immediately knew that he was going to be able to tell that something was wrong.

“Yes, babe?” You said and all he did was eye you.

“You're upset. And you've been crying. What happened?” He asked, concerned but you just shook your head. 

“It's not important.”

“If something made my girl cry, it damn sure is important.”

“I'll just tell you later. I don't want to talk about it right now.”

“Fine, but don't think for one second that you're going to get out of it.”

“Okay.”

“I called to see if you wanted something from Morris Deli. Me and Urb are about to be there in a few minutes.”

You sighed before answering.

“I'll just take my usual with my mango lemonade Calypso.”

“Of course, baby. You want anything else?”

You quickly shook your head as you wiped away a stray tear that had fallen.

“You look like you could use a blueberry muffin so I'll definitely bring you some.”

That made you crack a small smile and you quickly nodded agreeing with him.

“Be back soon, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Once Jack had gotten back, he found you in your shared bedroom flipping through channels to find something to watch when he came up to you and leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead before setting your food in front of you. 

You mumbled a quiet thank you before he slid in beside you on the bed and promptly took the remote from you. 

“Are you going to tell me what's wrong now? Don’t think that I forgot.”

You simply sighed before answering. 

“I called Dani to tell her about what happened and it seemed as if she thought we were making a mistake and should wait. She didn't flat out say that, but I could tell that she had her hesitations.”

“But my question to you is, why do we care what people think? We know this is real and we're getting married to each other, so should their opinion really matter?” Jack asked while looking at you before pushing his glasses back up onto his face.

“I guess not.”

“You love me, I love you, and that's all that matters. Point blank period. Who gives a fuck if people don't like it?”

“It shouldn't bother me, but it does.”

“Once we say our vows, they'll have no choice but to accept it and accept us. I want forever with you and I know we're making the right decision.”

“If that's how she reacted, how do you think PG will?” You asked, hoping that they would be supportive of you.

“They'll probably ask what took us so long to do it.”

“Hmm, I can see that.”

“But for now, I want you to not dwell on what she said, or what she didn’t say for that matter. We have bigger things to worry about and focus on.”

“True.” You quietly said before reaching for a blueberry muffin that you proceeded to break in half and hand it to Jack who quickly accepted it.

It was quiet for a few seconds before you spoke up again.

“Now, the most important part is what am I going to wear?”

As thoughts were running through your mind about what your outfit choice will be, Jack quietly muttered to himself.

“The most important part for me is getting a ring for you.”

“What was that, babe?” You asked as you handed your drink to him so that he could open it for you.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little self about.” Jack answered as he handed you back your drink and leaned over to kiss your cheek which immediately made you smile. 

—-

Later that night after you, Jack, and PG met up and went to laser tag, all of you were now sitting around the table in one of your favorite burger spots and it was around 10 at night when Urban quickly took notice of something.

“What is up with you two?” He asked while looking over at you and Jack who was currently feeding you cheese fries.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked as you also looked at Urban curiously.

“Something’s different and I don’t know how I know and I don’t know what it is, but something is different.”

“How is anything different? They are literally sucking each other’s faces off every three minutes and making me sick as usual.” 2fo quickly piped up and all you did was roll your eyes and throw a fry at him which he quickly caught and ate.

“Hmm, no. Something is different. So spill it.” Urban said and both you and Jack exchanged looks.

“Should we tell them?” He asked while looking at you for confirmation.

“Tell us what?!” Shloob asked and now all eyes were on the two of you.

“I guess we can. I mean we might as well.” You responded while shrugging. 

“Okay what we’re about to tell you CANNOT leave this table.” Jack started to say, but Quiiso quickly screamed.

“Oh shit, you got her pregnant didn’t you?!”

“What?! NO! Shut up for a second and listen!”

“Not going to lie, I thought that was where we were going for a second too.” Urban quickly agreed before looking back over at the two of you for an explanation.

“Jack asked me to marry him.” You quickly blurted out and the table went dead silent as everyone’s mouth was hanging wide open in disbelief.

“I… come again? Like walk down the aisle married? Like till death do yall part married? Like…..”

“Yes, Ace.”

“And are we absolutely positive that you’re not pregnant?” 2fo asked again while looking at you.

“NO!”

“Wait a minute, well what did you say?! Don’t leave us in suspense!”

“Come on now, Urb. We know she said yes!”

“How do you know I said yes?!”

All of them simply looked at you before rolling their eyes which made Jack stifle a laugh and you lightly hit him on his shoulder.

“Okay fine, I said yes. But yall can’t tell anyone. We’re not even telling our parents.”

“Oh good lord so you mean to tell me Mama Ivy and Mama Maggie are not only about to beat yall asses when they find out, but ours too?”

“And that’s why none of you are saying anything about it, correct?” Jack asked as he eyed them and everyone quickly nodded.

“Well, where’s your ring?!”

“Um, working on that part. She’ll have it by the time we say our vows.”

“What the? Not Jack proposing to our girl without a ring….”

“It was a spare of the moment thing and I just blurted it out!”

“Hmm, typical.”

“Now you know she loves your ass if you proposed to her without a ring and she still said yes.” Urban said while taking a sip of his soda.

“And, we’re absolutely positive you aren’t carrying baby Harlow?”

“FOR THE LAST TIME, NO 2FO!”

He immediately held his hands up in defense as he looked over at the two of you.

“Okay, okay! Just making sure!” 

By the time you, Jack, and Urban got back to your apartment it was past midnight and you were ready to catch up on some much needed sleep. Before you did, you decided that you were going to take a shower in order for you to be able to sleep better. Being able to sleep next to Jack was simply a plus.

While you were in the shower, Jack was trying to come up with a plan in order to get you a ring and was asking Urban for his help.

“I can’t exactly get her everything she wants right now and I know she understands that, but I still want to get her something.”

“Maybe a pawn shop? You might be able to find something there. But I have a question and don’t take this the wrong way.”

“What is it?”

“When you do get signed because we know it’s bound to happen, I don’t think that they’re going to want to push the narrative that you’re married. They might even try to convince you to break up with her.”

“Like that’s ever going to happen and where was the question in that?” Jack responded as he rolled his eyes.

“Jack, I’m being serious. I get that you told us to not say anything, but….”

“And that’s why the only people who are going to know are the ones that need to. I’m not going to let anything come between me and her.”

“But, are you sure that this is the right move to make? And to do it now?”

“I thought you would be happy for us about this.” Jack said quickly getting defensive.

“That isn’t it at all. I just….. We’ve heard stories about the industry and how ruthless and cut-throat people can be. Look, all I’m saying is that you better not forget that she was with you when you didn’t have a damn thing to your name. Don’t switch up on your girl because I will beat your ass if you do.”

Over the course of the next week, Dani still hadn’t gotten an answer from you despite how many times that she tried to call you in order to be able to explain herself. As a last resort, she sent a text to Jack hoping that what she was about to suggest would make up for it. 

Dani- Jack, would you have happened to have gotten her ring yet?

Jack- Nope and the last thing I want is for her to be disappointed, but between her birthday just passing and Christmas coming, I have no idea how I’m going to do it

Dani- I know someone and I can help you pay for it. It's the least that I can do since I know she's mad at me right now with how I reacted when she told me.

Jack- That's nice of you, but I have no idea when I would be able to pay you back for it.

Dani- All I ask for in return is you taking care of my little sister and being the best possible husband to her. Don't worry about paying me back. Meet me at 11 near Carmichael's so we can go and get it. Do you have an idea of what she wants?

Jack- Definitely princess cut or pear shaped

Dani- She's going to be so surprised when you show it to her

Jack was now holding onto your ring back at your shared apartment and he was simply staring at it in awe hoping that you loved it as much as he did. 

He had it in the back of his mind that he had to remember to do something really nice for Dani when he got the opportunity to do so for doing this for him.

Because he knew she definitely didn't have to.

Even though he knew that you were still upset with her, he did tell her where you were because he figured that you would have wanted help when it came to picking out something to wear. He knew that you just wanted something simple, but also knew deep down that out of all people you would want your sister to help you make a final decision. 

While you were going to look for a dress, Jack was going to pick up Clay and spend the rest of the day with him and tell him that he asked for you to marry him. 

They were both sitting across from each other at KFC since Jack had treated him when Jack had just blurted it out and Clay was mid-bite when he stopped chewing and looked up at his older brother in disbelief.

“Want to run that one by me again?”

“I asked Y/N to marry me.”

“You do realize mom and dad are going to kill you.”

“Can't kill me if they don’t know.”

“WAIT! So you're not even going to tell them!?”

“I’m an adult, what do I need to tell them for?”

“Uh, because? It's not like this is life changing or anything.” Clay shot back being sarcastic. 

“We've been together since we were 15, they had to have seen this coming.”

“But…”

“Look Clay, I want you to be there. But, you can't tell mom and dad. We're going to tell them, we just aren't doing it right now.”

“You got her pregnant didn’t you?”

“NO! She's not pregnant! Why does everyone keep asking me that!?”

“Because what two nineteen year olds just wake up and decide to get married?”

“We do.”

“I… I won't say anything. I see how happy the two of you make each other so it was bound to happen, I guess.”

“She means the world to me and I figured if I found my person, why should I wait to marry her?”

You were currently at the mall looking through racks of different dresses when you were caught off guard by your big sister staring at you when you looked up.

All you did was sigh and immediately rolled your eyes as she made her way closer.

“Lil Bit…”

“What do you want? I have a dress to shop for.”

“I know and that’s why I’m here. Jack sent me.” She softly said and you rolled your eyes again.

“Got damn it. I forgot we always have each other’s location on. I’m going to kick his ass.”

“No, don’t. He did it because he knew that deep down you would want for me to help you and that’s all I’m here to do. Help you look pretty on your big day even though you don’t need much help to begin with.” She said while pinching your cheek and you immediately swatted her hand away.

When you were quiet as you were looking at dresses, she piped up once again.

“Will it help you forgive me if I tell you that I’m going to buy your dress and not to worry about the price? And if you haven’t gotten Jack’s ring, I’ll pay for that too.”

Your eyes went wide and immediately left the sales rack to go over to the regularly priced items and all she did was laugh as she followed behind you.

“Then I take that as a yes.”

“But I’m still mad at you.”

“What I said was never meant to hurt you. I said it out of concern. I know that Jack is going to take care of you. There is literally no doubt in my mind about that. But wait, are you pregnant? Because…”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT?! NO I’M NOT.”

“Okay, okay! I was just asking!” She said while holding her hands up in defense as you were now holding up a white tulle dress and you were in awe. You had the perfect set of combat boots to go with it since you didn't want to wear heels.

“That would look gorgeous on you. Go and try it on.” She excitedly said as she pushed you towards the dressing room.

Once back at your apartment, you had to do your best to hide your dress from Jack and decided that putting it in Urban’s closet was the best idea that you could possibly come up with. What you didn’t expect was for Jack to be at the door as soon as you opened it ready to greet you.

“Hi baby, did you find a dress?” He asked as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Yes, and no you can’t see it.”

“What the? Why not?!”

“It’s bad luck, Jackman Thomas! I want this marriage to last forever and not 24 hours!”

“We are not going to break up in 24 hours if I see your dress! How am I supposed to coordinate your outfit with mine?!”

“It’s white. Do what you will with that information.”

“WHAT?! Baby! You can’t be serious! That’s all you’re going to tell me?!”

“Yes smush, now move. And I’m putting it in Urban’s room and you better not peek. You'll see it once I'm ready.” You said while giving him the evil eye, but all he did in response was roll his eyes at you. 

You then made your way down the hallway to see Urban’s room door open and all he did was stare at you as you made a beeline for his closet. Once you opened it, you quickly put your dress in the far left corner before closing it.

“Urby, you are on dress duty. If Jackman tries to sneak a peek at it or even you for that matter, I will mop the floor with both of you and steal your weed.”

“I… is all that really necessary?”

“NO PEEKING!”

You went back out into the living room to find Jack flipping through channels on the television and you quickly went and sat down in his lap. 

“Babe, we have to decide when we want to do this.” You heard him say as you turned your body so that you were sitting sideways and leaned your head down on his shoulder.

“I want to do it as soon as possible.”

“Wait… as in how soon?”

“I want to do it before Christmas.”

“Princess…. You are aware that Christmas is in six days, correct?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“The only day that we would be able to do it is the 21st.”

“Then the 21st it is.” You responded as you kissed his cheek before going to lay back down on his shoulder.

“You know Dani asked me if I was pregnant when she saw me.”

“Why is that everyone’s first thought?! We can't just get married because we want to?”

“Apparently not. And I should kick your ass for telling her where I was.” 

“But I know my girl and I know you wanted her opinion on what you should wear. Am I right?”

“Don't push it, Jackman.”

“And obviously it went well since you definitely came back here with a dress.”

“Not the point.” 

“Love you stink.”

“I don't know if I love you right now. Talk to me in fifteen minutes.” 

“I….really?”

“Quit talking or I'll make it 20.” 

It was the morning of the 21st and you woke up wrapped in Jack’s arms and simply smiled to yourself. This was about to be the first day of forever with him officially and reality was slowly starting to set it. Even though you didn’t let him see your dress, you still stayed in the apartment with him last night wanting for you both to be on time to the courthouse, because knowing you, you would be about an hour late and could only imagine the look on Jack’s face when you did show up.

Knowing how dramatic he was, he would probably think that you ditched him. 

You turned to your left so that you were now facing Jack and placed a soft kiss on his cheek and he responded by hugging you tighter.

“Good morning my beautiful bride and future wife.”

“And good morning to you my handsome groom and future husband. What time do we have to be there?”

“Hmm in about three hours so we have plenty of time. Everyone knows what time to meet us there.”

“And… you're absolutely positive about not telling our parents about this?” You asked while sighing.

“So they can convince us to back out of it? We'll tell them when the time is right.” 

“Okay, I guess that's fair.”

“And babe, don't be surprised that you don't have a lot of gifts under the tree this year. I had to pay…” Jack was immediately cut off by you shaking your head.

“Stop. And stop right now. The biggest gift that I get to have this year is marrying you. And how many times do I have to tell you that the material things are a plus? They can come later. I have you and that's what's important.”

“Damn, you really love me huh?” Jack asked you while smirking.

“Don't you think it's a little late to be asking me that seeing as I'm supposed to get married to you in less than three hours?”

Jack simply shrugged.

“Reassurance never hurt anyone. But just wait until I hit my first million. I'm buying you anything and everything you want.”

“No you're not because we need to save some too. You have to be smart about this. You're not going to be one of those rappers that spend all their money and go broke.”

“But if I do, will you still love me?”

“Smush, we're broke right now so obviously the answer is yes.”

“We are not broke!”

“Hmm, keep telling yourself that baby. Now in the meantime, I'm going to start getting ready if we want to be there on time.”

“Please do because knowing you, it'll be damn near midnight before we get there.”

“I'm ignoring you, so unhand me.”

Just then you heard your door bust wide open and looked to see Urban looking at the two of you and eating a bag of hot cheetos.

“Good, yall have clothes on because I never know anymore. HAPPY WEDDING DAY! Okay, now when are we leaving?”

“Around 10:45 and Urb, don't forget the ring.”

“Wait, you bought me a ring?” You asked, startled and taken aback while Jack just looked at you.

“Baby, did you honestly think that I was going to marry you without one?”

“Well you proposed to me without one…”

“I…”

“Welp, she got you there. Lil Bit got a ring for you too.” Urban piped up and now it was Jack’s turn to look surprised.

“You did!?”

“Baby, did you honestly think that I was going to marry you without one?” You said in Jack’s voice mocking him.

“Hey! I don't sound like that!”

But all you and Urban did was stare at him.

“Love you, now I'm going to get ready.”

You and Jack were now sitting in his car that was parked on the side of the building when he noticed that you were now starting to stare off into space. 

“Babe?” Jack said before waving his hand in front of your face breaking you out of it. 

“Oh, we're here already?”

“Princess, we've been here for almost fifteen minutes. Just waiting for everyone else to get here. You’re not having second thoughts are you? We can always….”

“No. We’re doing this and we’re doing it today. I never have second thoughts when it comes to you.”

Next thing you knew, Urban was flying into the parking lot with 2fo, Clay, and Shloob while Quiiso and Ace were coming in behind them.

“Good lord. And you're worried about my driving? Look at Urban.”

“I… Well…. The only thing that you’ve driven are go karts and that still didn’t go over well.”

“Now, we know that’s a lie. I bet that I’m going to get my license on the first try”

“Hmm, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

That was when both of you decided to get out of the car and Jack was helping you fix your dress when you looked over at Urban who was walking towards the two of you with everyone else and he was looking a little dazed.

“You cannot be fucking serious. Jackman…. is your best man HIGH right now!?” You said through gritted teeth. 

“Come onnnn you two, we have a wedding to get to!” You heard Dani say from behind you and Jack didn't even have a chance to respond. 

“Jack, just know if you mess up and she ends up divorcing you, I'm ready to slide in and replace you.” Clay said as he came up next to the two of you but all Jack did was roll his eyes.

“Clay, you can't marry her. You aren't old enough.”

“For now big brother. For now.”

“And Y/N, first, that dress looks amazing on you and second, give me a few more years.”

“Why thank you little baby.” You responded while pinching his cheek while Jack hit him in the back of his head.

“OW!” 

“Urby…” You started to say as he was messing with his shirt.

“Urby….”

Silence. 

“URBAN HENRY!”

“Oh, hmm? We ready to go inside?”

“I am never riding with this man ever again.” You heard 2fo muttered as he pulled out a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth. 

“Yall can go in front of us, just give us a minute.” 

Jack waited until everyone was out of earshot before he turned back to you and it looked like he was about to throw up at any minute.

“Uh? Babe? Are you okay?” You asked concerned and all he did was nod his head towards you.

“Sooo, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we’re really doing it. You love me enough to give me your last name?”

“From the first minute I saw that girl across the street with those pretty braids in her hair.”

All you could do was smile as you hugged him. 

“You ready to get married? You ready for forever with me princess?”

“Damn right, I am.” 

—

5 Years Later (This takes place after Two Halves of a Whole Idiot Instagram AU)

“Shit.”

“Fuck!” 

The both of you looked at each other as you had both seen the comment that Urban had left under your instagram post and sighed.

There was no turning back now and it was officially out there for the entire world to see. 

“URBAN!” Both you and Jack yelled before he peeked his head around the corner looking guilty.

“Uhh so I can delete my comment. I totally forgot.”

“HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT WE’RE MARRIED AND DIDN’T TELL ANYONE YET?!” Jack exclaimed while running a hand through his curls.

“Look, babe he was high when we did it and he’s probably high now, so are we really surprised?” You piped up and Jack stifled a laugh. 

“I WAS NOT HIGH AND I’M NOT HIGH RIGHT NOW!”

“Our moms are going to kill us.” You quietly said while ignoring Urban’s last comment as you noticed your phone started ringing in your hand.

“Oh no.” You quietly said as you threw your head back in disbelief.

“Baby, who is that?”

“My mom and she’s not going to stop until I answer and I know that for a fact. So I’m turning my phone off. Jack, keep yours on.”

“WHAT? SO I CAN GET YELLED AT?”

“Better you than me. Maggie is going to mop the FLOOR with you. She loves me so I know she won’t be mad at me.”

“I… seriously?”

“Yes. Maybe if you tell her our first born will be named after her she’ll be less mad.”

“I thought the first born is going to be named after me?”

“Not now, Urban! We’re having a crisis here and it’s YOUR FAULT.”

“But is this really a bad thing? I mean…. People already know that the two of you are together.”

“Well it really doesn’t matter if it’s a bad thing or not. It’s out for the world to see so… nothing we can do about it now.” 

Just then Jack’s phone rang and sure enough it was Maggie. He let it ring and proceeded to get a text from her soon after.

Mom- Either you answer my call or I’m getting on a plane with Ivy and we’ll be there by tonight. Your choice.

You were peeking over Jack’s shoulder and had seen what she said so you quickly hit her picture icon to call her back as Jack started yelling.

“BABY, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

“DID YOU NOT READ HER TEXT? EITHER YOU CALL HER BACK OR SHE’S GOING TO BE ON OUR DOORSTEP IN LIKE A MATTER OF HOURS.”

“Okay, I’m going to see myself out now.” Urban said before walking out of the room.

A few seconds later, Maggie answered and she did not look pleased.

“Shit, I didn’t know you facetimed her.” Jack whispered in your ear as you were sitting on his lap and smiling in the camera.

“Hiiiii Mama Maggie!” You said and all she did was look at the two of you.

“I thought you said she was going to be less mad at you, she looks like she’s pissed at both of us.”

Then without warning from behind her, you saw your mom pop into the frame.

“Oh shit, they work fast. What the? Are you two at the AIRPORT?”

“You two have A LOT of explaining to do.” Was all Maggie said as she was shaking her head.

“I… Jack made me do it.”

“EXCUSE ME? YOU SAID YES SO DON’T YOU DARE PUT ALL OF THIS ON ME. IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO EXCHANGE VOWS.”

“Who else knew?” Was all your mom asked as you now saw that they were at their gate.

“Umm….”

“Jackman and Y/N, you better start talking and you better start now. We’re still on our way to Atlanta, but this is your chance to state your case.”

Jack started firing off names and you couldn’t help but laugh because he was doing it as if he was trying to get a shorter jail sentence. 

“Clay, Dani, Urban, 2fo, Shloob, Quiiso, Ace.”

“CLAY?!” Was all Maggie exclaimed with a look of disbelief on her face.

“And how long?”

“Umm, this year would make it five years.” You quietly said.

“FIVE YEARS? THE TWO OF YOU GOT MARRIED AT NINETEEN?!”

“Uh? Does it make it any better that we were going to tell you this year and have a destination wedding?” Jack asked and both of them shook their heads no.

“We’re about to board and the two of you better be at your house when we get there.”

Without another word Maggie hung up and the two of you were sitting in silence for a few minutes before anyone said anything.

“Uh babe?” You asked while turning around to look at him and he simply sighed.

“Hmm?”

“What percentage do you think we have of surviving the conversation that is bound to happen later?”

“Negative ninety-nine.”

Jack’s phone went off again and it was Clay who had sent him a text.

Clay- I told you so. Have fun getting yelled at. 

Jack- But keep in mind little brother, you knew we were married and I just told mom that you did.

Clay- I.. SO I’M IN TROUBLE TOO?

Jack- Love you!

Jack was caught off guard with you suddenly kissing him on the cheek and starting to play with his beard.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Nothing. I just know that five years ago I made the best decision of my life. I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone else and I look forward to spending forever with you.”

All Jack did was smile and gave you several kisses before tightly hugging you.

“Can’t even put into words how much I love you. Almost five years in and a lifetime to go.”

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[iamdispleased]

Hatchetfield & the Real Musical References

That theory of ‘the plays-within-plays foreshadow the next musical’ got me thinking about the real musicals referenced in the Hatchetfield Series and how they could connect to the story. That led to these findings.

CW: Relgion (Godspell), spoilers for the Hatchetfield Series, Godspell & Brigadoon

(I know there are more details I’m missing, as I haven’t seen either musical, but I’m just excited and wanted to share. Wikipedia is my ride-or-die.)

So. Godspell. Or, ‘God-awful’. Or, ‘Gotdamn That Was Bad’.

Y’all…

First, Godspell is mostly based on the Gospel of Matthew. Like Paul Matthews, the very guy who did not like musicals himself.

Skipping to Act II for a moment— there is a scene where…

“Jesus returns to his followers to find them all asleep. He begs them to stay awake, but they all fall asleep again, and Jesus warns them that they will all betray him three times.”

Remember in Act II of TGWDLM, after the song ‘Not Your Seed’, when Alice, Deb, and Hatchetfield Bee are talking to Paul after they killed Bill? And remember when they said:

“Bending countless civilizations to our will, yet, you, Paul, have defied us thrice!”

Insert The Incredibles’ (2004), “Coincidence? I think not!” meme here.

Godspell includes the tale of The Parable of the Prodigial Son, also known as the Parable of the Two Brothers, Lost Son, Loving Father, or of the Forgiving Father.

“The parable begins with a man who had two sons, and the youngest, who is impatient and greedy, asks his father to give him his share of the estate immediately. The father is like, “Y’know what? Fuck it. I’m feelin’ kinda funky today,” and agrees, dividing the estate in half.”

“Upon receiving his portion of the inheritance, the younger son travels to a distant country, where he squanders his wealth through reckless living.”

The younger son gets humbled, he comes back home in shame, blah, blah, blah, lesson learned.

If that’s not Emma Perkins, then I don’t know what is, especially considering she literally inherits land. I’m looking at you, Nightmare Time episode Perky’s Buds!!

And I admit, this is a reach, but the Parable of the Prodigal Son starts in Luke 15:11. Emma’s favorite band is 311. In military time, 3 pm = 15. So, 15:11 = 3:11 pm. This is either a happy accident or an intentional tidbit that managed to work out well.

Similar to the beginning of TGWDLM, it begins with God and the characters breaking the fourth wall and explaining shit via song.

At the end of Godspell, Jesus is crucified, and he is carried off stage by the cast. There has been a lot of controversy over the ending, because the musical does not mention Jesus’ resurrection at any point.

Almost like how in TGWDLM, Paul sacrifices himself, and when we thought Paul was resurrected at the end, he wasn’t. (To put it simply.) And we can’t forget how the cast carries a screaming Emma off stage, and the show ends on a (good) controversial note.

Brigadoon!

Brigadoon starts with these two New Yorkers, Tommy Albright and Jeff Douglas doing that fancy kind of hunting white people do when the men hear music coming from a village nearby. But wait a hot second! There is no village on their map! And yet!! Turns out that village is a special place called Brigadoon. Why is it special? Here’s some WIKI for ya’.

“200 years ago, the local minister prayed to God to have Brigadoon disappear that way it would remain untouched by the outside world, only to reappear every 100 years. All citizens of Brigadoon are forbidden to leave the town, or it will disappear forever.”

Kind of reminds me of the whole ‘no one can ever truly leave Hatchetfield’ thing. So, could Hatchetfield be seen as a mirror of Brigadoon in some sense?

Hm.

There is literally a character named Tommy who ends up falling for Fiona, a lass from Brigadoon. The issue is, he’s engaged to a woman named Jane who he isn’t really that into. Even after he leaves Brigadoon, Tommy still thinks about Fiona.

Tommy is Tom. Jane is Jane. Fiona is Becky. Of course, this isn’t to be taken as they are the Hatchetfield equivalent to that character.

And it turns out, Emma Perkins hates Becky Barnes. Why? Sisterly principle. (Emma knows Tom always viewed Becky as ‘the one who got away’, even after marrying Jane.)

Going back to Paul and Emma!

After after meeting Fiona, Tommy asks the Brigadoon schoolmaster, Mr. Lundie, if outsiders were allowed to stay. He replies:

“A stranger can stay if he loves someone here – not jus' Brigadoon, mind ye, but someone in Brigadoon – enough to want to give up everythin' an' stay with that one person. Which is how it should be. 'Cause after all, lad, if ye love someone deeply, anythin' is possible.”

In TGWDLM, Paul and General MacNamara have that Iconic Conversation which has a similar vibe.

MacNamara: I follow a higher law than any institution could decree, and that is the universal truth of love and the strength of the human heart.

&

Paul: I can’t leave without Emma.

MacNamara: Who’s Emma, Paul?

Paul: A friend of mine.

MacNamara: Friends don’t move my heart, son. Is there a chance at something more?

Paul: […] I’d like there to be. I want there to be.

Shout out to Mamma Mia, and Bill wanting to see a feel good musical with his daughter about a daughter and her three possible fathers.

I stand behind the idea that Alice is Bill’s biological daughter, she’s just white passing. I’d also like to appreciate the fact that Alice’s favorite restaurant is Red Lobster.

I plan on actually watching these musicals soon, that way I can make more in-depth posts, but like I said— this just made me really happy and excited, and I wanted to share it.

Feel free to reblog and add onto this post! Seriously! I love when that happens! Okay, bye!

[idekforfun]

Comfort ... JJk

Summary: After scoring an invite to JHope's album release party, Yazmine isn't expecting anything more than to stick to the sidelines and enjoy the free drinks and music. Little did she know what her ever growing relationship with the rapper would lead her to.

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x OC

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Word count: 2.7k

...

The only thing I am able to think of as my eyes scatter across the room of popular faces is "the amount of talent in this room is enough to swallow me whole". I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and I can't seem to remember how I was ever able to suppress it. I'm finding it increasingly hard to hide behind my extrovert persona, the one that is a lie, a huge lie in fact.

 I realized I had been lost in my head when the sound of loud clapping brought me back to the real world. I barely catch the very end of Hoseok's speech, something along the lines of "Thank you for supporting me", and "enjoy the food and music" then he gives a bow and walks down the stairs where he is immediately pulled into conversation. Oh, I can't even imagine the anxiety he must be feeling. I could simply stick to a corner and hide in the shadows, whereas he has to socialize with everyone out of obligation.

Socializing. For some reason I forgot that I'd have to do that. I've been able to avoid it thus-far having arrived minutes before the actual album started playing. Now, everywhere I looked someone was talking to someone else. I realized I couldn't just stand here alone forever. I examine the room for someone I know, even better someone I have interviewed because I'll take any familiarity I can at this point. This whole ordeal is making me question my job because how am I able to meet celebrities on the daily, and here I am stressing about having to socialize at a party.

I was too in my head again, so I didn't realize someone had been calling my name until I felt a few taps on my shoulder. When I turn around, I was met with no other than Jessi, thank god. We have met on more than one occasion, and she has a weird ability of making people extremely comfortable, something I am immensely thankful for right now.

"Yaz!" She pulls me into a hug. It actually does well to soothe me. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know either," I pulled back from the hug with a gentle smile. "Actually, I was kind of surprised."

"Why, are you and J-hope not close?" she questioned.

"I mean, I had him on the show and we got on really well. We've also messaged a lot, too." I know I sound hesitant speaking, as if I'm not sure of the words I am saying. It is kind of hard to believe that Hoseok would want a friendship with me of all people, let alone be close.

"Oh, he definitely adores you, we even talked about you once," she has a sparkle in her eye as she talks and for some reason, I feel obliged to believe her. "Also, he was one of the best episodes on your show by far."

She is right about that. It has been my most viewed interview by a pretty wide margin. Part of me knows it’s due to the fact that he is J-hope of BTS, obviously, but it was also such a good video. All my interviews follow a simple formula. I bring the guest on and we engage in whatever activity they enjoy, in Hoseok’s case dancing. It brings a different level of intimacy that you can’t get from simply sitting across from one another and reading questions from a card. The conversation always flows naturally, and it’s all so genuine. On top of that, even I can admit that Hoseok and I just clicked. Our personalities complimented each other well. So much that we even continued to develop our relationship through messaging, and now I am attending his album release party which is a very important step in his solo career. Maybe we are closer than I allowed myself to believe.

“Yeah, it was pretty great actually.” I could see her eyes light up at my slight self-indulgence. Maybe I should give myself more credit.

We both turn our heads at the call of Jessi’s name from across the room. She gives me another smile and hug and tells me that she’ll find me later. I am left alone again but it’s not as bad as before. The anxiety has decreased significantly, which made my apparent hunger more noticeable. Hoseok did say to enjoy the food so I might as well. The snack table was filled with delicious finger food. As I was reaching my hand to grab a bite of some expensive looking cheese on a toothpick someone called my name. I turned around to find none other than Hoseok’s bright smile.

“So, I see you made it!” He pulled me into a hug. Not the ‘barely touch you because this is a little uncomfortable hug”, but a “I feel like we’ve known each other for years hug’.

“Hoseok, you’re incredible. The album is amazing, the release party is amazing, your outfit is amazing!” We pulled away from the hug and I could see a feint blush on his cheeks hidden well in the dimly lit room. “I’m serious, you may be the coolest person I know.”

“Yahhh, you’re boosting my ego too much.” He said while smiling shyly.

“You also may be the humblest person I know so I actually don’t think that is possible.” He smiled at me again and I swear I saw a glimpse of the actual sun in him.

“Do you know anyone here?”

“A few people, mostly through the grapevine.” He could sense my hesitancy right away, I could tell.          

“Come, I’ll introduce you to my friends.” He said as he gestured to the general direction behind him where his so-called friends were. Knowing him, his friends could be some ultra-famous idols that have better things to do than interacting with me. I could slowly feel the anxiety creep back up my spine, and my heartbeat slowly increased.

“I don’t really want to be a bother,” he looked down at me with squinted eyes and a tilted head. “I promise it’s okay, I like being alone and these appetizers are calling my name.”

He chuckled at me in disbelief, as if that was an insane thing to say in a room full of celebrities. I guess you could say a part of me is forgetting that they are just normal people too, so I shouldn’t be feeling this intimidated by them. At the same time, I’ve seen celebrities get starstruck over other celebrities, so they really aren’t just normal people and I am going to tell myself that my feelings are valid.

“C’mon, you’re never a bother. You’re my friend and I want my friends to meet you” he said reassuringly. I guess that answers my earlier internal debate. After 2 seconds of contemplation, I let myself believe him, and I signaled for him to lead the way. He lit up and tugged on my wrist so I could follow him.

I don’t know who I was expecting him to introduce me to, but for some reason his members stupidly did not come to mind. Three of the seven members of BTS were sitting on the stage together, and their heads all turned to Hoseok and I as we approached them. Despite all my inner turmoil, I take pride in my ability to pretend that I am confident and unfazed by everything. That is how I’ve done so well in my career while dealing with anxiety, but as the three idols studied us as we approached them, I could tell that mainting my persona would be more difficult than usual. I know them of course, because who doesn’t these days, but seeing them in person simply beats videos and pictures. They really were beautiful men.

“Yazmine this is Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. Guys this is Yazmine.” Hoseok introduced while gesturing to each of them.

“Hi guys its so great to meet you.” I said with a smile. Jungkook and Taehyung who were sitting raised themselves up to give me a bow as well as Jimin who was already standing as I shook my hands at them. “Oh! there’s no need for that we can be casual.”

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” Jimin said with a smile. “After all these years it feels kind of strange not to be formal.”

“That’s how I feel except opposite. Getting used to being formal was a challenge and I sometimes still forget the strict customs.” I explained.

“Sorry if this comes across as rude but you’re not Korean? You’re Korean is really good!” Taehyung questioned.

“It’s not rude at all! I am half Korean from my mom and my dad is middle eastern,” as I was explaining, someone summoned Hoseok over to them and he gave my arm a firm squeeze in parting as he nodded to his members insinuating his departure. “I was raised in the US till age 12 and I’ve been back and forth since then.” I explained as they nodded in understanding. It was endearing how intently they were listening to me, and for some reason I felt oddly at ease with the three. My eyes wandered over to Jungkook’s as I finished my explanation, and as they met he quicky looked away.

“Your interview with Hobi Hyung was amazing by the way,” Jimin said. In the moment I don’t think I even processed that Park Jimin watches my show, I’d have to do that later. “The idea is so new and exciting. I hope that you’ll invite me once I start my solo schedule.” There was a sly smirk on his face. I wondered if it would be inappropriate to tell him I would probably jump off a bus if he asked me to, but I decided to keep that to myself in the end.

“I’ll see what I could do.” I joked back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone new approaching us and I turned my head to find Seokjin. I was now surrounded by four members of the group and I am surprised I’ve held my composure for this long.

“Hello,” he says timidly with a subtle bow. “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say bye to these three. I’m Jin.”

Just when I thought these men couldn’t get any better, he introduces himself as if I wouldn’t already know who he is. I gave a bow back and smiled at his humility, “I’m Yazmine, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hey Jungkook, this must be exciting for you.” At the mention of the youngest members name, I turned to look at him and caught his wide eyes and small headshake towards Jin that I was clearly not meant to see as his eyes shifted to me. “He loves your videos. One time he made me watch three episodes of your trying new things series.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook cried out. Obviously I was not supposed to be filled in on this information, but my heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster at this new discovery.

“Oh, did he now?” I questioned with a smirk. Jungkook’s face twinged a subtle pink that was barely noticeable in the dimly lit room, but noticeable, nonetheless.

“Oh yeah, Jungkookie is always sending us clips from your videos,” Jimin teased. Taehyung started nodding his head enthusiastically and decided he also wanted to join in on teasing the youngest.

“You should have seen his reaction when he found out Hobi Hyung was making an appearance, he was so jeal-”

            “Okay that’s enough.” Jungkook interrupted with an annoyed expression. Despite how much I was enjoying this, I also felt a little bad for him, and I’m sure he’s been at the center of their teasing all these years.

            “Well, I really appreciate the support, and it means a lot coming from you especially.” I reassured him. He gave me a shy small in return.

            “Well it was nice to meet you Yazmine, I am sure we’ll run into each other again,” Jin said with a warm smile. “Before I leave Hobi wants a picture with all of us.” He said while gesturing to the other members. They all nodded in agreement.

            As they all turned to follow Jin, Jimin turned to me and nudged my arm with his. “Don’t go too far, we’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll be here.” I reassured. I definitely wasn’t comfortable enough to talk with anyone else here, and their welcoming energy was definitely more than enough for me. Jimin and Taehyung followed Jin, while I noticed Jungkook lingering a bit. I could tell he had something on his mind that he wanted to say.

            “Isn’t it a bit early for Jin to be leaving?” I questioned. This was my best attempt at making him comfortable enough to tell me what was on his mind.

            “This isn’t really Jin Hyungs scene, he doesn’t really know many people and he gets nervous meeting them too.” Jungkook explained. I almost did not catch the end of what he was saying because I was too distracted by his eyes. They really do sparkle just like everyone says.

            “Wow, if that’s how Jin feels then I really am hopeless.” I said in shock. If a literal bts member was having trouble socializing, I was doomed.

            “Not completely hopeless, you have us now.” He said with the most endearing smile I have ever seen. There was also something about how he said “You have us now”, as if he was insinuating that I would be in their lives longer than just a casual conversation at a party. I know it’s probably my delusion speaking, but it’s a nice thought to comfort me.  “By the way I really do enjoy your videos a lot. I guess it’s kinda embarrassingly obvious now that I am a fan.” He said with a little more confidence while referring to the teasing from his Hyungs.

            “If it makes you feel better, I have 3 older brothers, so I know how it feels. Also, I am slightly embarrassed because of how many stupid things you’ve probably seen me do. It’s actually all coming back now.” I laughed. I started internally second guessing every decision I made for my videos because Jeon fucking Jungkook watches them, and I pray that he has not seen the bird calling video.

            “What, like the bird calling video?” He says with a chuckle. This is not happening right now.

            “I am actually going to ignore what you just said for mental health reasons.” He lets out a boyish laugh at that and I swear I’ve never heard something more adorable in my life. I would honestly embarrass myself 100 times over if it meant that I could make him laugh.

            We both turn our heads at the call of his name and see the members waving him over for the pictures.

            “I’m sorry I don’t want to leave you alone…” He says hesitantly.

            “No, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll just be here trying not to embarrass myself.”

            “I won’t take long so we can be embarrassing together.” He said in a teasing tone. My eyes couldn’t help but widen. I’m either crazy, or he just flirted with me. I could hear his giggle as he turned to walk away while I stood there stunned. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I watched him join the others. Seeing them interact with each other was so special. They looked so happy and comfortable. It was hard not to be slightly envious of their relationship. I can’t remember the last time I had a connection like that with someone, and I could tell it was rare. My eyes naturally wander over to Jungkook as he wrapped his arm around Hoseok. I could see his eyes glistening even from here with joy and contempt. His eyes meet mine and I find myself unable to look away even though I know I’ve been caught staring. His eyes crinkle at the corners as we look at each other, waiting to see who will break eye contact first. My gaze wanders across his nose and cheeks as my face heats up. I force my eyes to meet his one final time and I turn away with a light feeling looming over me.

[mrsnerdygirl]

When I started reading the “harry Potter” books , my first favorite characters was Ginny, and now she is forever in my heart . I hate it when people do not understand her . She was the iT girl , beautiful and what not , but she was also a teenager that went through a lot . I hate it when fans forget what she went through , and while the books were focused on Harry , people shouldn’t forget that she nearly died and got possessed all because of her first ever friend . I am the youngest and while I don’t have as many siblings as she does , I can understand how lonely she feels . Ginny’s favorite brother was Bill and I think that the reason behind that is because the oldest always treat you somehow better, and you just really like that , but as you grow older , you feel even worse because now you wanna do things and like things that probably no one in the family wants you to. This girl literally had to sneak out and get the brooms of her older brothers and teach herself how to fly , because no one in the family allowed her too .I don’t think that her crush om Harry really says much about her , though people like to look into it . Ginny simply finds it hard to move on , probably has attachment issues , which I understand, because me too. I hate to think that some fans see her as a love interest, because she is actually important to the plot . I defiantly think that she was out casted in her second year , and I would love to hear about how she started being so popular . In her third year , she started changing little by little ,and maybe it was then that she started being more sociable and started hanging out with people . We see that she became friends with Neville , and went with him to the Yule Ball . Also during these chapters I think that we see more to Ginny . She had a chance to go with Harry, her crush , but didn’t go with him so to not reject Neville and make him feel bad . It was around this time that Hermione gave Ginny her very smart boy advice “try being yourself around Harry , go out with other people “ , which we see Ginny do , and it resulted in her being less shy around him . In order of the phoenix , Ginny was the only one who wasn’t scared to tell Harry to stop being such an asshole . I can’t explain why , but maybe it was just her energy , though harry didn’t mind opening up to her about how he felt in that chapter in which they shared chocolate (Moony would be proud), on the library talking about how lost Harry felt and how he needed to speak to Sirius . Ginny handles a bunch of grown up death eaters like a champion and walks around with a broken leg , without once complaining . When Harry tried to keep her safe at school she wasn’t scared to show him off again for treating her like she was fragile .After Sirius’ death she didn’t walk around Harry like he could break , but just like last year , she was calm and playful . She broke up with her boyfriend of a year because he didn’t appreciate her like he needed to , and then got herself another one right back . Blaze Zabini , a popular and rich Slytherin had a crush on her , and while he never did anything about it , I think it showed exactly how pretty and well known she was (also let’s not forget Victor Krum finding her attractive and wanting to ask her out ). Her best skill was Quidditch , and she could play amazingly in more than one position . She made the team twice , which meant that from everyone there she was the best , and won in each match . She played as seeker twice , both times were the finals , and won the cup , and then became a professional player in her dream team .

In her sixth year we see her defend Luna and Neville because she hated bullies and these two were her best friends . The fact that she could be friends with anyone and yet was closest to “the weirdoes of the school” , means a lot to me.

She fought in the battle of Hogwarts , and handled the school year like a champion . Another thing I love about her is how understanding she is towards Harry and how cute the fact that even though they broke up they still supported each other . She survived Bellatrix Lestrange’s attacks , and was a very good dueler , as well as a powerful witch .

There is so much to her character , that would take me too long to analyze , but overall the idea is that Ginny Weasley needs to be appreciated more for what she has done through the books , because without her we wouldn’t have some amazing moments .

Happy Birthday , to the icon herself !

[petertingle-yipyip]

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Season Three - Lover of Mine

tags: @mayasaurus--rex @americaarse @dusstory @johnmurphys-sass @ironprincessstranger @astrobees @woowwwee // five // seven // masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Livia

Word Count: 9,732

Summary: The constant circles and playing different parts grows more and more dizzying as events continue to unfold. Alliances tested and lives endangered, Ex and The Man in the Mask take a stand against the new Daredevil.

“How? Livia, calm down and talk to me. What happened?”

“I can’t calm down!” You snapped and he stepped in front of you, hands landing on either arm to stop you.

“You’re burning up.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You almost yelled. “This puts everything at risk!”

“Slow down, Livvy.” He said carefully. “Tell me what happened.”

“He cut my mask. I grabbed it and he saw me. He saw my face.”

“But he has no proof.” Matt offered calmly, though you knew your frazzled state was radiating and vibrating through him. He stood before you as solid as ever. “He can’t throw around an accusation like that without proof.”

“You can’t accuse him of being the knock-off Daredevil without proof either.” You deadpanned.

“I have proof.” He let go of one arm and held out Dex’s tape player.

“That doesn’t connect him to Fisk. And that doesn’t change the fact that he knows who I am. And- And Ray. Oh my god, Ray. We have to find him.”

“Don’t worry, okay? I’m gonna take care of it.” He promised.

“He’s gonna try to blackmail me. He’s- He’s gonna expect me to go along with it. He’s going-“

“So go along with it.” Matt nodded and your jaw went slack. “Your mask records, doesn’t it? You can get proof.”

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to have to use this for a double agent. The whole point of her is to do things on my terms. Besides, in case you forgot-“ You thumped your fingers against his forehead. ”- I’m a federal agent. I can’t exactly walk around my office in a bulletproof body suit.”

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to you.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one in the middle of a shit show.”

“He won’t hurt you.”

“Stop acting like you know him! You don’t!”

“Why are you acting like you care about him? You didn’t want anything to do with me when you said I betrayed you back in that alley. But he chooses to work for Fisk and you don’t care?”

“He’s gonna see this as a betrayal.” You gestured wildly towards the apartment below you. “It makes me look like the untrustworthy one.”

“Since when do you care what others think of you?” He scoffed lightly.

“Matthew, you are not listening to me.” You spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. “That man will not hesitate if he gets a chance to kill me.”

“He won’t.” He shook his head firmly.

“Yeah, cause you’ll be there to protect me, right?” You mocked. “You can’t even come to the goddamn apartment. You expect me to believe that you’ll be around now?”

He sighed and nodded in resignation. “Are you gonna hold that against me forever?”

“Are you gonna give me a reason to believe you? C’mon, I mean… You act like you love me and then you ask if I ever manipulated you.”

Your implant pinging caught your attention so you stepped away from Matt to answer it.

“You need to find Ray.” You said over your shoulder as you put distance between you two.

“Yeah?” You said simply, hearing the shuffle of Matt’s boots as he left.

“Have you talked to Karen?” Foggy asked on the other end.

“Not since the questioning. Why?”

“I invited her to this thing and she said she’d come but she hasn’t shown up. I’m a little worried. Did you know she lost her job?”

“Ellison fired her?”

“Cause she wouldn’t give up his real name.”

“Shit.” You sighed, though you appreciated the loyalty. “Uh, yeah. I can track her phone, hang on.”

“You can do that?”

“Yeah, I’ve saved all of your numbers to a program that can locate your phones by SIM card. Back when we thought Matt was just a dumbass, I wanted to make sure he didn’t fall in down a manhole whenever he didn’t answer the phone.” You explained while you slid your finger across the mask. You held it in place with the other hand while you looked around the city. “Okay, I found her. Looks like she’s just driving around. I’ve gotta get back to work so I’ll text you if I get a hold of her.”

“Thanks, Livvy.”

“It’s what I do.” You shrugged and tapped the implant off.

You snuck off the roof and to your car, parked at the empty structure a few blocks over. You changed back into work clothes and headed to the Presidential. You got to the media room and took a seat at the monitors,  though your mind was still buzzing.

You wondered how long it would take until Dex opened his mouth. Would he tell Fisk and let the big man try to play you? Would he go after you the way he went after Jasper? Or would he sit in silence? Let you drive yourself mad with the possibility that he could out you at any second. That he could make you the fugitive instead of him. You didn’t like the leverage he had over you and you needed a way to take it away.

You needed to get the advantage. And what better way to do that than to put yourself in a position above him to boot him out.

When you finally managed to focus on work, you realized who Fisk was talking to.

“Hey.” You waved one of the other agents down without taking your eyes off the screen. “Who let her in?”

“Page?” The agent asked and you nodded. “His lawyers okay’d it. She said she’s writing a story about his mother. Who gives a shit?”

“Are you guys stupid?” You urged. “She worked at the firm that got him locked up. Why would you let her in?”

“Lawyers said it was fine.” One of them shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like we can go in with her.. We got the cameras on so she’ll be fine. Didn’t that firm shut down anyway?”

Either your colleagues were complete idiots or they were absolutely clueless.

You disguised the use of your implant as a scratch to your head, tuning into their conversation as you watched it unfold on the screens in front of you. You heard what she said as she leaned in close and your hand tightened into a fist. She was egging Fisk on by claiming to have killed Wesley. She wanted Fisk to put hands on her, but you knew that for Wesley, he’d kill her.

“Come with me.” You stood quickly and gestured to both agents. “Now!”

“What?” One of them asked, though he stood.

“Why?” The other said and followed suit. As you were stepping into the hall, you ran into Foggy.

“You’ve gotta get her out of there.” Foggy said and you nodded, hurrying past him. There was a hushed conversation between the men behind you but you ignored it.

You kicked the door open and raised your gun, pointing it at Fisk. You yelled for him to get back, to keep hands where you could see them and to get away from her. Your coworker escorted Karen out but you stayed to make sure Fisk didn’t try anything while you guided him to his room with a gun at his back.

“Did you know?” He asked tightly and you knew what he meant.

“I know she was lying.” You answered quietly. “And I know the truth. I’ve always known.”

“And you hid it from me?”

“I thought you would’ve been perceptive enough to put it together on your own. The burn on his chest… was an electrical burn. The bullets were just an extra.” You said with a small smile.

“You?” He turned with a sneer, taking a step closer.

“Careful.” You said confidently as you put your gun away, flaunting that you were untouchable at that moment as you lifted a finger in the general direction of one of the cameras. “You’re gonna need me if you wanna keep your newest toy. You didn’t need me to break him because you were already plotting to take everything from him. Imagine how he’ll react once he knows.”

His brows furrowed as you backed away.

“Maybe you’ve gone too far… I’d love to test that theory. This is gonna be fun.” You smiled and his eyes went wide for a moment when he realized.

You hopped down the steps and back out, finding your friends in the hall. The doors closed behind you and the agents posted tried to talk to you, to apologize and ask how you knew something was wrong, but you ignored them.

“Page.” You called and she rolled her eyes before looking at you. “Are you insane? I mean, honestly, have you lost it?”

“I had him.” She said angrily before turning to the elevator. “And you ruined it. You both ruined it.”

“Ruined it?” You laughed. “I just saved your ass. He would’ve killed you. Are you really that desperate?”

“At least it would’ve been on video.”

“Goddammit, Karen. Don’t turn into Matt on me.” Foggy said with a small stomp.

“Hey.” You reached foward and grabbed her arm to spin her so she would face you fully. “You really wanna try and get yourself killed? Because guess what, if you weren’t on his shit list before, you are now. I can’t protect everyone when you’re all running off in different directions like toddlers.”

“Then don’t.” She snapped. “And I didn’t want him to kill me.. Just to come after me.”

“Yeah, that’s so much better.” Foggy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well I got the idea from you. Talking about getting Tower worked up. I thought I just had to get him to stop thinking, to react emotionally.”

“Last time he did that, he decapitated one of the Russian brothers with an SUV door.” You said simply. “You think he wouldn’t have done something like that to you?”

“It’s not a bad plan, except for the part where you have to hope the FBI comes in before he beats you to death.”

“Let’s be honest. If I wasn’t here, those ball scratchers wouldn’t have gotten in there in time. Half the people here don’t want to be here so they don’t give a shit.”

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” She snapped and pushed into the elevator.

“Neither does you throwing that name around.” You said quickly.

“What?”

“He knows it was me. Probably won’t save you from retaliation but it can keep him on me a little longer.”

“Why would you-“ Foggy tried but the door shut before his sentence could finish.

Later that night, you were sitting in the media room at the closing hour of your shift. You were waiting for one of the others to come take over when you felt it, so saturated it almost knocked you out of your chair. It was a burst of rage, white hot and pulsing. You felt it seer through you, hotter than anything you felt from yourself or Matt. It was like it had been brewing for a long time, building and burning and festering until it broke its way out.

And it was coming from a few floors below. It was coming from Dex.

Your apparent betrayal broke him and you weren’t completely sure it was a good thing.

Meanwhile, back in his secluded underground part of the church, Matt was looking for something else to think of. All his mind kept coming back to, other than letting Dex get away, was her. He could understand why she didn’t want to believe her partner was working for Fisk. He believed that she did what she could to keep him away, but she was right. She couldn’t control everyone all the time so it wasn’t fair for Matt to throw that at her. And Fisk was smart. He had to have known Y/N was trying to keep Dex away from him. So he found ways to break him that not even Livia could stop. Things Livia probably didn’t even know about, not until it was done.

He was listening to the tape with Maggie when his mind finally let her go, just for a minute.

“He didn’t have any parents. Spent a lot of time fighting. Angry.” He said simply, just stating what he had learned, when Maggie hummed in response. “Go ahead and say it.”

“I promised to keep my mouth shut.” She answered.

“But you wanna say it sounds familiar.”

“More ways than one.”

“I didn’t have anyone either but I’m nothing like him.” Matt shook his head. “The tapes make it sound like he was a killer at a young age.”

“That bit sounds familiar, too.” Maggie said to herself, but they both knew Matt would hear it.

Was that why Livia protected him? She saw herself in him?

“Livia’s nothing like this guy, okay?” He decided. “She actually cares about people and has a heart. The guy’s a psychopath… And I had a chance today. A shot to catch him off guard and I blew it.”

“You did what you thought was right. You kept your word to Agent Nadeem.”

“Yeah. And how many people are gonna die because of it? Not to mention that he knows about Livia. Now she’s in the middle of it and either has to go along with this or go on the run. He could throw her under the bus, same way Fisk did to me, just to save his own ass. He doesn’t care about her.”

“Do you think Alivia can keep herself alive? Or does she need you to be her knight in shining armor all the time?”

“I just want her to be safe. After everything I’ve done, I owe her that.”

“I think you owe her more than that.”

He sighed heavily and nodded. He knew he couldn’t run from her questions forever. It wasn’t fair to leave her so deep in the dark. And it was killing him all the same.

“She’s gonna get herself killed trying to save this guy.” Matt spoke with a certain bitterness. Bitter towards Livia’s sudden adherence to morals that he once claimed, towards her sudden belief that people could change.

It made him wonder what had changed so drastically in the time he was gone that she would stand so adamantly in a losing fight.

“You said this man is her partner at the FBI?” Maggie changed the subject.

Matt reluctantly nodded. He hated the idea that she would have to go back and be around him, to essentially be at his mercy. At the same time he knew if there was one person in Hell’s Kitchen that wasn’t helpless, it was Livia.

“Then she knows his tendencies better than you do. She’s a very strong, very smart girl. I’m sure she’s endured worse so she can take care of herself until you two have a plan.”

“I don’t think she wants to do this with me anymore.”

“This?” She gestured to Matt. “Or this?” She tapped her chest where her heart was.

“Both.”

“Just give her time, Matthew. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, like you hung the stars. That’s not something that can be thrown away. You both will always be there for the other when they call.”

She left after that, allowing Matt to punch his pain away. He was angry. At himself, at Dex, at Fisk. He even wanted to be angry at Livia, but all she had done was refuse to leave him. How could he be angry at that? As he worked on the punching bag he could hear Sister Maggie’s prayer in the church above. He was listening but also not, using it as a sort of background noise. It wasn’t until the end that it mattered.

“Our son is too much like you, Jack.”

Our son … Jack.

“Mom?” Matt muttered as he fell to his knees.

He was in complete disbelief but suddenly, it all made sense. That’s why she made sure he was okay. That’s why she made sure he had a place to stay. That’s why she refused to give up on him. He didn’t know what to do, what to think.

But he knew his heart was calling for Y/N, in a way only she would know. In a way that he wasn’t sure he deserved anymore.

You couldn’t call him. You doubted the man had a phone anymore. You had just gotten home when you felt that crushing feeling, that world shattering uncertainty. It made you dizzy when you walked through the door and you nearly fell to the floor.

You made it to your couch and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be absorbed by that heavy feeling. You pushed back, following that line back to Matt. You were hoping he wouldn’t ignore you. You were hoping he would understand, but with the intensity he was putting out, you didn’t know what would get through to him.

Come home, Matt. Let me help you.

Damn it all if you didn’t forget that you were angry when he really needed you.

You fell asleep on the couch waiting for a response. You waited for a change in feeling or to feel it growing closer. You waited to hear him calling your name or touch your shoulder. You waited for the door or some sign that he was there. You didn’t know how late it was when he finally showed up.

He sat beside you on the couch and gave your leg a gentle shake, but you still jumped up in a hurry. Unsure if it was Matt or Dex or someone else to kill you, your hands raised reflexively into fists while your eyes tried to adjust to the neon shining in. Matt chuckled and put his hands over yours, gently pushing them down and assuring you it was just him.

“Matt.” You sighed and relaxed next to him. “What happened?”

“Sister Maggie, she was upstairs praying.” He said carefully, but you could tell there was a waver in his voice, threatening to break. “She was asking my dad for guidance and said ‘our son’.”

“Talking about you?”

“Why else would she talk to him?”

“Took a while for you to get here… Where’d you go?”

“Father Lantom.”

“Was it any help?”

“No.”

“How can I help? Tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know.” He nearly whispered. “It was right there, the whole time. Livia, everything could’ve been different.”

“Yeah, but then who knows if it would’ve been good or bad different.” You tried gently. You reached forward carefully to remove the familiar glasses and he didn’t stop you. Instead, he gave you a small smile and turned his head towards you. “Maybe we don’t meet. Maybe I end up with a different vigilante boyfriend. Maybe you end up as a priest, too. Who knows what would’ve changed?”

“I could’ve had my mom.” He spoke softly.

“I know.” You nodded and gently ran fingers through the sides of his hair. “Did I ever tell you about my dad?”

“I thought you didn’t know him.” He shifted his body towards you.

“I don’t, but I did meet him once, before I met you.” Your hand fell to his shoulder. “My aunt, Melina, would talk about them when I was a kid. I looked up their names when I got out, found some leads and kept tugging strings till I found him living in a small town in California. He had a new wife and a son… I remember when I left him, I kept thinking that I could’ve had a brother. I could’ve had siblings and a real family if he was willing to run just a little while longer.”

“What happened when you met him?”

“He said my mother was dead and so was her daughter, Alexa. He was talking about me.”

“Your name is Alexa?”

“To my parents, yes. Once I wasn’t theirs, that little girl did die and Alivia was born, which is fine. Alexa’s someone else completely as far as I care. Listen, my point is that I could’ve had a different life, too. But you can’t sit here and think about ‘what if’. What if I was never in the Red Room or if I never got out? What if I never came to Hell’s Kitchen? What if I never went to Columbia?”

“So you think I shouldn’t do anything?”

“I think you shouldn’t let it change too much now. I know you want to figure things out, but I’m sure she was just young and scared. People don’t always do the smartest thing when they’re scared.”

“You ever make a bad decision cause you were scared?”

“Leaving you the first time.” You confessed, though that event felt so far away given everything that had happened since. “I didn’t want to scare you and Foggy away with the truth so I left. I left you alone, Matt, and I never wanted to.”

“I left you too so I’d say we’re even.” He offered a small smile and you chuckled. “But I never wanna leave you again.”

“So don’t.” You offered, leaning your head against the back of the couch. “When I look at my life, and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that I think I got right… I want you to stay, at least for tonight, but I won’t make you.”

“All my regrets, things that you can’t forget.. You still want me with all of those?”

“I can’t really give you away.” You shrugged slightly. “I already made that mistake a long time ago…”

“I want us to be okay, sweetheart.” He reached out and out a hand on your folded leg, thumb rubbing gentle lines.

“We can figure it out later. Right now, you’re in a crisis.”

He offered a weak smile as he nodded.

“I’m not saying to forgive Maggie, but I’d say hear her out, when you’re ready. Maybe she had her reasons.”

“What if she didn’t? What if she was just… ashamed?”

“Who would be ashamed of you?” Your fingers danced around on his shoulder, skimming across the crook of his neck. “You took off the crucifix? I liked it.”

“It was my mother’s.”

“Ah.” You nodded.

“I thought you hated me after what happened at Midland Circle”

“Yeah, I kinda did. But I also understand that it was your stupid way of protecting me because you loved me and I loved you, so that ended up beating out any other feeling. I haven’t forgiven you for it yet, though.”

“Clearly.” He gave a small chuckle. “Do you still?”

“Love you? Or hate you?”

“Both.”

“Yeah, to both. I’m still hurt by what you said to me. But I’m guessing you being here means you realized you can trust me?”

“Livvy, I always have.” His hand came to your cheek and you leaned into his touch, earning a smile from him. “I’m sorry I acted like I didn’t.”

“Maybe there’s still a chance to fix us when all this dies down.” You smiled softly, turning your head to place a kiss to his palm. “After that, you can fix things with Maggie. When you’re ready.”

“I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you, too.”

That night, wrapped in Matt’s arms, you had the first full night’s sleep since Midland Circle.

The next morning, you were getting ready for work when you got a message from Dex. It said that he was picking you up and you knew it wasn’t up for debate. You told Matt what was going on and he told you to be careful. He told you he wouldn’t be there when you got home, and he wasn’t sure where he’d be, but he would let you know somehow. Despite your protests, he promised it’d be for the best.

The ride with Dex was silent. There was a thick tension in the air and your skin was buzzing with anticipation. You kept thinking of scenarios where he would make a move on you, but in close quarters, it was an easy win for you. You could crash the car and run. You could use the backseat to get away. You could kick out the windows and tuck and roll. But there was no action, hardly any words. Instead, you pulled up to Ray’s as if everything was normal.

“Ray doesn’t know.” You said simply as you got out. “He doesn’t know about her and he doesn’t know that I know about you.”

“This’ll be fun then.” He smiled before grabbing your arm and practically pulling you to the front door.

Dex greeted Seema and gave you two a proper introduction. You let him do most of the talking, only offering a polite smile and an answer when necessary. Seema didn’t seem to notice, and you were thankful for that.

“And that makes it curve?” The boy’s voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Like crazy.” Dex smiled.

“It’s the circle change that gets ‘em though.” You cut in, kneeling to his height and stealing his attention away from Dex. You ignored your partner’s glare and focused on the boy. “A curve is great, don’t get me wrong. But a good hitter can see it coming. The real fun is when you can speed them up with the fast ball and then sneak the change up. If you want a strikeout pitch, the circle change is what you need.”

“Can you show me?” He asked excitedly.

“Yeah, it’s super easy. The ball sits here.” You moved the back to rest at the back of his palm. “These two fingers make a circle like this.” You slid his thumb and forefinger to make a circle on the side of the ball. “And these fingers just kinda spread out.” You fanned his other three fingers. “And then you just throw it normally.”

“So… Wait, how does it slow down?”

“When it rolls off your fingers, the backspin makes it look like it’s coming faster than it is.”

“Ooh.” He laughed and looked at his fingers on the ball.

Ray came down and gave his son - Sami - a reason to leave the room. When he made eye contact with you, you gave a shrug and nodded to Dex to show it was his idea. Ray brought you and Dex outside to keep his family out of it.

“What are you doing here, Dex? Your issue is with me, not my family.” Ray asked tightly.

“My issue is definitely with you.” Dex agreed. “That stunt with the lawyer, Ray? That was cold. You convinced me that you had my back.” He turned towards you. “You both did.”

“I did until you chose Fisk.” You admitted. “I tried to help you but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Well Fisk wants you two alive.”

“Lucky me.” You mumbled.

“What does he want from me? Or her?” Ray nodded to you.

“Your little friends. The ones you brought into my home.” He took a step closer to Ray and your hand shot out to his chest, pushing him back with a warning glare.

“I don’t know who he is, or where he is. I know even less about the girl.”

“Nah, you know.” Dex countered. “But it can wait. You’re bleeding, Ray.”

“Cause you shot him, jackass.” You mumbled, making Dex chuckle.

“I’ll cover with Seema while you change. Let’s go. We’re all spending the day together.”

“Why'd he bring you?” Ray asked when Dex went back inside. “What does he know?”

“Too much.” You admitted. “That I know Exodus. I know Daredevil. I know what happened at his apartment, what really happened at the Bulletin.”

“How?”

“Как ты думаешь, с кем ты разговариваешь?” You asked with a small shrug before following Dex in and leaving Ray in confusion. (Who do you think you’re talking to?)

You didn’t stay at Ray’s much longer. Seema gave you a plate to take with you and you thanked her. Sami thanked you again for the change-up and you offered to show him a knuckleball next time. Ray rushed you guys out of the house and when you got to the bureau, Dex told Ray to call Matt. You tapped your implant and listened in on their call while you waited with Dex. Though if anyone asked what was actually said, you wouldn’t be able to tell them.

“How long do you think you can keep it a secret?” He asked simply, turning to face you.

“Longer than you did. I didn’t need to see any of it to know what you were. One look told me everything I needed to know. Wanna know how?” You tilted your head back to face him. His brows raised and he offered you an amused smile. “Because you’re weak. Your old therapist was wrong about you. Your internal compass is broken, Dex. And no one can save you. You’ll follow anyone that uses the right words.”

He grabbed you by your face and pushed you against the wall behind you, making you laugh.

“Get your hand off me or I scream. Remember, not every agent in the room works for him.” You warned and you watched his eyes dart between yours and try to figure out if you were joking. “Go ahead… Try me.”

He pushed off you when Hattley came in for an announcement. You pulled off the wall and moved to stand with Ray, hearing your SAC declare Dex reinstated. You were hidden behind him so rolled your eyes and feigned a gag. But when he stepped aside to thank you and Ray specifically, you put your hands behind your back and offered a proud smile.

“Someday I’ll pay you guys back for everything you did.” He said, though you heard the threat in his words.

“We’re partners.” You said with fake sincerity and reached for his hand, which he hesitantly gave you. “You’d do the same for me.”

After a few moments of congratulations and praise for Dex, the three of you were taken to a conference room where a handful of agents sat around the table. You scoffed in disbelief as Dex headed to sit at the head, Hattley at his side. You stood at the other end, leaning

onto flattened palms against the table.

“Fisk has something on all of you?” Ray asked in disbelief.

“It’s better we don’t talk about it.” One of the other agents in the room said. He may be stuck under Fisk’s thumb, but it didn’t seem like he wanted to be. “And in here, we don’t even say his name.”

“That’s one of the rules, Ray.” Dex explained. “We only refer to him by his codename… Kingpin.”

You had to drop your eyes to hide your quiet laugh.

“Something funny, Yersova?” Hattley asked and you picked your head up with your smile still present.

“This whole thing, actually.” You shrugged and pushed yourself off to stand tall. “An office of dedicated federal agents falls victim to a big bald guy who doesn’t even do his own dirty work half the time? Y’know when Fisk was around the first time, people only would call him ‘their employer’ and it was embarrassing then too. I’m sorry but… it’s all a little pathetic.”

“You’re here too, Livia. So what does that say about you?”

“Oh man.” You exaggerated a sigh. “I should’ve talked to Madani about transferring to Homeland. At least then I could’ve had a partner who stood for something-“ You made eye contact with Dex. “-instead of kneeling to a little bit of pressure.”

“Real cocky when you’re the one with the most to lose, Yersova.” Dex said with a smooth smirk.

“At least I know who I am. Can you say the same?”

“Anyways.” Hattley cut in firmly. “Another round-up today. We hit them fast and hard. Kingpin wants this one to make a point.”

You felt grimy by the time the assignment was done. You hung back for most of it, hardly even raising your gun. Instead, you just kept the people around the marks calm. Even at the public groundbreaking for something seemingly religious, you ensured no one made a scene. Later that day, you sat with Dex in the media room.

“You seem tense. What’s eating at you?” Dex asked with a sly smile.

“Thinkin’ about how I’m gonna put a bullet in you.” You said calmly. “Y’know what an old friend told me? You don’t hear the ones that get you.”

“Pretty confident.” He nodded with that same smile, one that made you want to slam his face down on the desk. “But I remember the last time we went at it. I put in a knife in you. How’s that healing, by the way?” He snuck his hand to the joint of your leg and gave your leg a slight squeeze.

Your body jumped at the unwanted contact and you reached for his hand quickly. You gripped tightly, feeling the long bones of his hand shift slightly, and moved his hand forcefully. 

“And how many times did I knock you on your ass? All it takes is two seconds where Ole Red isn’t looking.” You leaned in closer so you could speak quietly, hands folded beneath the table. “You keep this up, Dex, and you’ll be the one who pays a price. Not me.”

The day shift went on relatively quickly but then you two were called for an additional night shift. Ray left with Hattley to get Fisk while you and Dex finished up upstairs. You saw a message from Foggy as you headed to the car and saw that Fisk had his hooks in his family. The deli had embellished a loan application from Red Lion Bank, and someone was threatening to pull it. It was now a growing priority for you to get your hands on Felix Manning. You had seen the man in the hotel a few times but never with enough clearance to get to him.

You drove with Ray in the front while Fisk and Dex rode in the back. You followed Dex’s directions, intentionally slamming the brakes harder than necessary. When you parked, Ray called Matt.

“If you can hear me…” You spoke quietly, putting a hand over your mouth so the men in the back wouldn’t see. “Fisk is using all of us, just be careful.”

Fisk sent Ray out while he kept you and Dex in the car.

“What do you need us to do?” Dex asked and your other hand gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“Exodus.” Fisk said calmly and your eyes darted to the rear view mirror. “Where is your suit?”

He didn’t need to know that you were wearing your suit beneath your work clothes. You wore a sweater over it instead of a button up with simple black pants that were easy to ditch, along with your usual jacket. Your Bites, and mask were all tucked between the material of your suit and the top, blending with the extra fabric of your loose sweater. Your shoes were your usual vigilante boots. So really, the only thing you were missing were your staffs, and that was only because the pack would’ve been too bulky to hide. You had returned all of your equipment to the closet back home, knowing it’d be too risky to just leave in your trunk now that you were caught in the middle of everything.

“Parti. Et vous le serez aussi, assez tôt.” You said tightly. (Gone. And you will be too, soon enough.)

Dex reached around and locked his arm around your throat. He yanked back and forced you against the headrest, increasing the pressure on your windpipe. You coughed roughly and reached down, finding the side lever for the back of the seat. You pulled up on it and threw your weight back, hearing the thud when it slammed into Dex.

“Enough.” Fisk announced, but you jammed an elbow against Dex’s jaw to prove a point before shifting in your seat to face Fisk.

“Allow me to clarify something. I do not work for you. I’ve stood my ground before and I’m not afraid to do it again.” You said firmly, knowing the anger sparked in your eyes. “Daredevil and I will finish this, the real Daredevil. No one can save you.”

He turned towards Dex with a smirk before facing you again.

“Y’know…” You turned towards Dex with an innocently curious expression. “I haven’t seen Julie around since your little chat at the cafe. How is she?”

His brows furrowed as you tugged that concern closer to the surface. His eyes went big when he either remembered or realized something so you gave Fisk a smirk before heading inside to meet with Ray.

“The Feds want something.” The woman you took from the groundbreaking said and looked around your small group of agents.

“Not the Feds.” You sighed and drew head turns just as Fisk walked in.

You had to bite your tongue to keep your comments to yourself. You watched as Fisk tried to barter FBI protection for twenty percent. The woman was interested, and truthfully, she interested you. Calm and comfortable in her power, but willing to work with others. If you weren’t so inclined to stay on the right-ish side of the law, maybe you would’ve been like her.

What really kept your attention was the man you only heard addressed as Mr. Starr. The old man was set in his ways, refusing to budge. He refused to kneel to Fisk’s pressure and while you commended him for his conviction, you knew what was coming.

Dex’s baton came flying in before you could react and the man slumped forward against the table in a puddle of his own blood. Dex came to stand at Fisk’s side and you moved to the other side of the now dead body, picking up the club. You flipped it in your hands, earning uncertain looks from the other crime bosses. You tapped the other end against your empty palm before stealing a move from Dex, throwing it against the table so it’d bounce. The bounce led one end to jam into Dex’s chest, making him stagger back a few steps and you smiled.

You may not be able to take him on in broad daylight, not with the handful of agents in Fisk’s pocket. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t take smaller jabs at him. After the deals were said and done, when Matt didn’t show, Dex moved across the table and stood close to you.

“If you tipped him.” He said lowly, attempting to threaten you.

You calmly titled your head back to meet his burning glare with a small shrug. “When would I have done that? You’ve been watching me the whole time.”

His jaw clenched as he stared you down, growing uncertain as you refused to falter. Your chin lifted slightly in a soft challenge as Fisk called him back.

“What a good lap dog.” You mocked softly as he followed Fisk without question.

You only followed when Ray nudged you. You ignored the lingering looks from the various criminals at the table as you left, but you couldn’t ignore their fear. It spiked when you threw the baton at Dex and it was clear that while they did fear Dex, you terrified them. And not because you were Exodus. They couldn’t know that. What scared them about you was the way you carried yourself. Your total confidence in challenging Fisk and his faux Daredevil. It left them to wonder what you could do on your own.

You realized that part of you missed the fear your presence used to cause, but the reality was that you didn’t need to be a looming force. Fear was fun when it was only you. Respect was better when others were at stake.

The car ride was quiet, but the tension was building quickly. It soon felt like your suit was suffocating you, like the high collar was digging into your throat even though you didn’t have it zipped all the way. The collar was folded under your sweater, but that didn’t mean your skin wasn’t stained with the ghost of the material. You called your jitters to your hand, creating a small collection of bouncing wisps in your palm. The silver streaks danced around and weaved through your fingers, shaking and ricocheting off your skin as you flicked them away and called them back like a yo-yo.

But when the announcement sounded in your implant, the string snapped and the wisps instantly disappeared.

Karen Page is located at the Clinton Church. Keep all NYPD units clear until otherwise advised. Copy.

You spun in your seat with wide eyes, a panic settling deep in your stomach when the SUV stopped and he sent Ray out.

Would Matt get there in time? Would you? How would you get away? Would Matt even know what was happening? Even if you were still upset, you knew you needed his help. You didn’t even know if he had heard you earlier. If he came up and saw you there, would he think you sided with Fisk out of spite?

While Fisk and Dex talked about what they needed to do next, you took a glance around the street. There was no one around, so you running out of a blacked out SUV wouldn’t raise any questions.

“He was murdered!” Fisk shouted and slammed a fist against the door,

“And I’d do it again.” You said firmly, drawing an angry glare from him and a quizzical one from Dex. “He deserved it for threatening people I cared about. When I walked out of that warehouse, his blood splattered on my suit, I damn near celebrated.”

“When I sent you to the Bulletin, it was to discredit Daredevil and his partner-“ He gestured to you before turning to face Dex again. “-and the reporter that helped make them into heroes. At the time, I didn’t know that she had assisted in his murder.”

“If there’s something you want me to do, just ask.” Dex added smoothly.

“I want you to kill Karen Page.”

Your former friend made a point to meet your eyes. “Consider it done.”

“Good luck.” You scoffed before reaching across the gap and slamming Dex’s head against the window.

You hurried out the door after that but you felt a hand on your arm. You turned to see Dex and he yanked you back, pushing you towards the other SUV. You pulled free and threw a roundhouse against his jaw that threw him into the nearest wall. He got up quickly and threw a right hook against your jaw before grabbing the back of your neck. His fingers pressed into the sides of your neck and he slammed your head against the window of the SUV. You felt the skin at your hairline split so you stuck a foot against the car and kicked off, pushing you both backwards so Dex would hit his back on a nearby dumpster.

You took the chance to climb to your feet and took off sprinting down the streets until you got to the church. You got inside just as mass was starting so you snuck up the stairs that led to the balcony. You stripped out of your work clothes and tucked them under one of the pews before fixing the final details of your suit. 

You listened to Father Lantom’s speech, thanking everyone for coming to mass. You tapped your mask and looked between the priest and the doors as the tension buzzed through your body. You felt electrified by the looming threat but the gentle, honest words from Father Lantom seemed to serve as a buffer to break some of that buzzing. If you could count on nothing from the ideas of religion or from any church, you could always count on Father Lantom to be genuine with whoever he was talking to. You smiled softly towards the altar where Father Lantom was, and he had offered you the same sentiment, when a voice cut through everything.

“Karen Page!” Dex called out as he entered the church, dragging the club against the side of the pews as he stepped further inside. “Where is… Karen Page?”

You hopped over the railing and landed behind him. By the time your feet hit the ground, he had already beat on three patrons. You shot a wire at his throat and once it wrapped, you yanked hard to pull him back a few feet. He yanked the wire off and turned on you, both clubs in hand before Karen announced herself.

You felt your heart drop to your feet when he smirked, turning to face her. She was quick to put herself in front of the people and you felt helpless, for only a moment. 

“Hello, Karen. It’s nice to see you again.” Dex said simply.

You took that chance to get in front of him, hands quick to reach behind and find your knives. You brandished them quickly and Dex tilted his head slightly.

“You don’t have to listen to him.” You tried, pushing out a subtle desperation.

It would be the last chance. Standing against Dex, against your partner, you couldn’t protect him and defend against him at the same time. So in that church, with all the lives that hid behind you on the line, you forced Dex to make a choice.

You. Or the man who only saw Dex as a weapon.

“Pick your side.” You warned. “You won’t get another chance to change your mind.”

He gave you a wicked smile and you knew that the man you knew before was gone. His mind had snapped and he was now a fractured, broken version of the person you once called a partner. His lack of empathy had never been so clear, like a vacuum that sucked in and destroyed any sense of emotion around him. It began to drag on you as well, but Matt made it just in time.

He landed contact with Dex from behind so you turned and gathered the people who had attended mass. You pushed Karen to join the crowd while Matt handled the fight. You shoved the knife away and reached into a different pocket for your communications case, you shoved it into her hands and turned in time to see Dex standing before you. Your eyes darted to the side and all you could see behind the small altar of candles were Matt’s feet.

You turned back to Dex just time to see the knife coming. Instantly, you moved to the side to put yourself in front of the people but two hands came to your arms and threw you to the side. You looked back and saw the knife buried in Father Lantom’s chest.

“No.” You said quickly, eyes brimming with sudden tears. “No!”

Matt ran back into the fight screaming, the anger radiating off him. Lantom spoke quietly to Matt as he laid in Karen’s arms, her own hands trembling around the knife. You reached for the case you gave her, opening it and pulling one of the ear pieces. Shakily, she put it in her ear and gave you a quick nod. You tapped your scar before finding Matt. When he floored Dex, you practically ran across the short distance.

You clipped the microphone to the collar of his shirt, throwing a hard sidekick when Dex tried to get to his feet.

“Karen? Can you hear me?” You spoke quietly.

“Yeah… I can get everyone out.” She answered, her voice echoing around your skull. “But you guys have to get him away from the nave.”

You offered a sharp nod and focused back on Dex. You ran towards him and slammed your knee into his chest. He rolled through the impact and kicked himself down one of the aisles. From there, he began throwing small candles at the two of you. The wax splattered across your face as they shattered against your arms after you raised them, causing you to wince slightly as you turned your head. Keeping one arm up, you stuck your Bite between the small gap at the bend of your arm and fired. The electricity landed at the base of his throat and his movements became tight convulsions.

You took advantage and moved closer, slamming a kick to the back of his knee. When he fell to a kneel, you used the opposite foot you kicked and threw a roundhouse to the side of his head that forced him to the floor. You turned to find Matt, seeing Karen moving people on the other side instead. You heard movement from behind you and turned to see Dex standing with a piece of marble in hand.

When he pulled back to throw it, Matt came and drew his attention away. You let out a small sigh and glanced back at Karen, hearing her talking to one of the patrons about getting out.

“Make sure they stay low to the ground.” You instructed as you watched Dex and Matt exchange blows. “Keep out of his line of sight and move fast.”

When the boys came back into the main area of the church, you jumped back into the fight. Matt threw Dex into a pew so you moved to the side and grabbed hold of the edge as Dex kicked out at Matt’s chest. You threw your legs forward to slam into his chest and flip him over. Your feet landed on the seat so you crouched on the wood and waved the group of churchgoers forward after you noticed they had paused to watch the fight.

The small crowd was huddled low as they crept across the floor. You made a small noise to yourself when you thought they weren’t going fast enough but the sound was cut short when Dex yanked you down by your arm, a hand gripping aggressively around your wrist. You yelped slightly when you landed on your shoulder and Dex stood over you, rolling you to your back with his foot before he pressed it at the base of your shoulder as he searched the group. You craned your neck as you tried to force Dex off and you saw Karen running down the center aisle.

“Don’t.” You tried as his arm pulled back and he forced you back to the floor. The force of his foot combined with the way your arm was twisted was enough to pop the bone out of its socket and you couldn’t keep the sound of pain from happening.

Luckily, Matt knocked Dex off balance just in time to send his throw off course. Using your other hand, you jabbed two knuckles into a pressure point at the back of Dex’s leg and he fell against the pew. With Matt’s help, you wiggled out from underneath his weight and got to your feet.

“How are we gonna beat him?” Matt asked through heavy breaths. 

Your mind raced and the only things that kept repeating were three things you learned from Melina. She taught you those things not to help as a Widow, but to protect you. 

What I’m going to teach you isn’t for anyone but yourself. Remember these rules and no one can beat you, little Alivia.

Looking around, you realized you already used one.

“A man can’t stand, he can’t fight.” You spoke quietly, reaching out to find Matt’s hands. You guided them up to your shoulder and he moved closer, allowing you to close a fist around the material of his shirt. His fingers traced the joint before his palms found their positions and he pressed hard, a sharp exclamation falling from your lips as you felt the bone fit back into place. You bit your lip as you let out a small whimper while you heard Melina’s voice repeating those same words. With a. deep breath, you took a step away and collected yourself.

“If we can keep him off balance, we-“

Your sentence was cut short by a heavy fist at your jaw. You staggered back against the main row of pews and once your back hit the wood, you were bombarded with more hits. Your arms came up quickly, batting away his hits but every fist seemed to come heavier and heavier.

“Hey! I’m the one you want, right?” Karen yelled from the door, stealing his attention.

You took advantage of his hesitation and slammed both fists against his chest. He staggered away and coughed heavily, giving you space to stand tall and wipe the blood off your nose. 

“A man can’t breathe, he can’t fight.” You spoke to yourself and turned to Karen. You were tackled to the ground and his foot pressed down on the center of your chest.

You squirmed beneath him and Dex leaned his weight against you and you could feel the cartilage in your chest cracking. He snapped a rosary and pulled back to throw the beads. You lifted a wrist and shot a wire towards Karen’s ankle. It wrapped around your target and you yanked back to pull Karen to the floor just in time.

You popped the wire off and felt the weight disappear from your chest after Matt knocked him off. You took deep, gasping breaths while you looked back as you got to your feet and saw Karen was gone. You tapped your mask and saw her heading up the stairs to the top deck. You checked over your shoulder and saw Matt locked in with Dex. You thought of joining in but you chose to follow Karen up the steps instead. You found her crouched in the darkest corner and she covered her mouth with her hand when she saw you.

“Oh God.” She whispered, likely horrified by the blood you were covered in.

“You okay?” You asked quietly and all she could do was nod.

You heard footsteps coming so you used your mask to see it was Dex. Instantly, you wondered where Matt was but you didn’t have time to figure it out. You stepped out and pulled a knife from the back of your belt. You made a grand gesture as you moved closer to Dex.

“Is this what you wanted?” You asked simply. “You killed an innocent man.”

“You know what I want.” He answered flatly. “Why do you keep getting in my way?”

“Because at least I’m fighting for something. What do you fight for, hmm? What do you stand for? You’re a joke. You’re pathetic. You’re nothing. When Fisk is done with you, he’ll throw you away. You’re not special to him. The only thing you’ve done is destroy what that suit used to stand for around here. You can’t compare to Daredevil.”

Dex simply growled as he charged you. You braced yourself just as his shoulder slammed into your stomach. He lifted you off the ground and slammed your back into the marble pillar in the center of the deck. You coughed roughly and flipped the knife so you could swipe it across his back. You dropped the blade and locked your fingers behind his neck. Tucking your knees against his chest, you threw yourself to the ground so when you landed, your knees slammed against him. You rolled you two so you could be on top and you kept a grip on his suit front, slamming down hit after hit and watching his head bounce off the ground.

You pulled your arm back and armed your Bite, seeing the bright red glow shine in your peripherals. You were angling the shot when his forehead slammed up into your nose and knocked your teeth together. You fell to the side and Dex pushed you the rest of the way off. A pair of hands came under your arms and hauled you up. You looked quickly and saw it was Matt.

Together, you two took your stances across from Dex. The man across from you let out an annoyed sigh and moved at you two again. He shoved you towards the railing and you teetered over it. Your hands were tightly holding the top as your upper body tilted over and your feet lifted from the ground. You had to let one hand go for a second to hook the wire from your belt around the posts.

Once that was secure, you turned to your back and pushed yourself to be seated on the wood. You focused in on the scene in front of you and found Matt on the floor and Dex with a small, familiar blade in his hand. Your blade. You were quick to shoot the other end of your wire around his neck.

When the material whipped around, you yanked him back so he stood flush against you.

“You won’t win.” He choked out as you replaced the wire with your arm around his neck.

“I don’t have to.” You said into his ear, the other hand pressing the Bite against his throat. “We just both have to lose.”

You fired the weapon and locked your ankles together around his waist. He yelled in pain before you threw yourself backwards, launching you both over the edge. Your own body slammed against the heavy wood posts as your wire held you in place, dangling you over the drop like a piñata. In any other circumstance, the display probably would’ve made you laugh.

You pulled yourself back over the railing and undid the clasp at your belt. You motioned to Karen to check on Matt while you took heavy breaths and collapsed to your knees, pressing gently on your loose sternum to figure out the extent of the cracks. She hurried over, hesitating by your side. You waved her off before hauling yourself up to peer over the edge.

As soon as your chest leaned over, all of the air was sucked out of you as the sharp object pierced your solar plex. You were breathless as your hands hovered over the penetration and Dex was gone. You looked down with shaky breaths and you saw the familiar handle sticking out.

He threw your own knife at you. Again.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Yuma [VAMPIRE ENDING]

ー The scene starts outside of Eden

Shuu: ...

...Okay.

Yui: ...Shuu-san!

Shuu: ...I’m pretty sure that ensuring your safety is the best way for me to make it up to him.

I’m pretty sure that Ghoul which I killed might be able to rest in peace then as well.

Yui: ...Stop! Please, cut it out, Shuu-saーー!

Shuu: ...Go and tell Yuma that I’m sorry for everything I put him through.

Subaru: Oi, hold up. You’re not bein’ for real right now, are yーー!

*STAB*

*Splatter*

Reiji: Shuu!!

ー Shuu collapses

Shuu: ...Uu...

ー Yuma runs up to them

Yuma: Yui!!

Yui: Yuma-ku...

Yuma: Are ya alright!? ...Wait...Whatcha doin’...?

Shuu: Idiot...Couldn’t you wait to come...until after I was dead...?

*Rustle*

Yuma: Oi!? The fuck are ya doin’...!?

Shuu: I only...took responsibility for what I did.

Yuma: Responsibility!?

Shuu: No, I guess that’s not quite it...I simply wanted to atone for what I did to yーー Cough!

*Splat*

Yuma: Oi!!

Shuu: Hah...In the end, the two of us...were never able to get along.

If we were to ever meet again...I hope that then...At least a littleーー ...

Yuma: ...Oi...?

ー The World Tree withers

Shuu: ...

Yuma: ...Ya gotta be shittin’ me. I can’t believe ya got to say yer part and then run away...

I really do hate ya...Shuu.

*WOOSH*

Ayato: ...What’s happenin’!?

Reiji: The magic is flowing out of Shuu’s body...! The powers he inherited from Fatherーー!

Kino: Those are Father’s powers...!!

Yui: ! You can’t! I won’t let you have those powers!

Kino: Haha, look at you talk! Stop me then if you can!

Yui: ...I will, for sure...!

*Cling*

Yui: You’re the last person I’d give those powers to! Not the guy who continued to betray people like it is nothing...!

Kino: Where did you get that knife? How long have you been hiding it? How brave of you...However.

*Rustle*

Kino: You won’t be able to kill me with your hands trembling like that.

If you want to play with me that badly, could you maybe wait a few more minutes?

I’ll surely need Eve if I want to change the World after becoming Adam, right?

I’ll make sure to give you plenty of attention once I’ve gotten my hands on those powers. And this time ーー forever!

*Rustle*

Yuma: Yui!

Kino: I am meant to inherit those powers! I won’t let anyone get in my way!

Those powers which will turn me into the King of this World shall be mine at last!

Yuma: Fuck, cut it outーーーーーー!

Monologue

ーー Kino-kun reached out his hand,

touching the vortex of magic which had overflown

When he did, the magic was absorbed into his hand,

in the blink of an eye. 

Once he had taken everything inside,

he took a deep breath.

Kino: Aah...This is it! These are the powers of a Vampire King! I can feel them flowing through me...!

Ruki: ...This is horrible...! I cannot believe Karlheinz-sama’s powers went to such a guy...!

Yuma: ...Move, Ruki. I’ll go.

Azusa: Yuma...You’re going to take Eve back?

Kou: Yuma-kun, that’s crazy! Kino-kun got his hands on those powers! You stand no chance against him!

Yuma: So I’m supposed to just give up then, huh!?

I’m fuckin’ done with messin’ up the whole time! That’s why I’ll no longer try to be greedy and protect everyone and everythin’!

But ya know, the person most valuable to me...is the one thing I won’t give up.

I promised myself that I’d protect her, so no way in hell I’m lettin’ that guy have her!

Reiji: ...Ayato, Subaru. We shall back him up as well.

Ayato: Haah!? Why us too!?

Subaru: Don’t tell me...You’re not tryin’ to avenge Shuu or somethin’ lame like that, right?

Reiji: Think of it whatever you want. I simply do not want to have to submit to that guy.

Above all, only those who were chosen by Father himself...are worthy of inheriting those powers.

Ayato: Che...Subaru, come!

Subaru: Don’t order me ‘round!

Azusa: ...Ruki...

Ruki: I know! We shall go as well!

Azusa: For Eve, Yuma...and Shuu-san.

Kou: And for Eden as well, right?

Monologue

With Yuma-kun taking the lead,

everyone charged towards Kino-kun who had attained those powers.

I am sure that each and everyone of them,

is fighting for the things or people they wish to protect.

At first, it seemed like each side had a 50-50 chance for victory,

but with one attack after the other being fired their way,

the one who reached their limit first ーー

ended up being Kino-kun.

Yuma: Take that!!

*WOOSH*

Kino: Guh...Uwaaaah!!

*WOOSH*

Yui: ( ...The powers are flowing out of Kino-kun’s body...! )

Kino: But...why...? Just when...I got my hands on those powers...

ー He collapses

*Thud* 

Subaru: ...!? He disappeared...!?

Ruki: Was he unable to withstand those powers...? ...In which case, I suppose Sakamaki Shuu was truly the only candidate worthy of wielding those.

Azusa: Hey...Now that they’ve been released...wouldn’t one of the Sakamaki brothers be able to inherit them through touch...?

Reiji: ...I pass. It is quite clear that we are not worthy of them since we were not chosen initially. 

Kou: Then what will happen to those? Will they just vanish like that...?

Ayato: ...Nah, they’re flyin. Inside the Castle?

Yui: That’s...the direction of the World Tree, isn’t it...?

ー The scene shifts to the World Tree

Yui: ( Even more leaves have fallen off...I guess they’ve rotten away now that its owner is gone? )

( But then the tree itself should have died as well, no...? What is going on....? )

Yuma: Yui, look! There’s something...layin’ by the base of the tree.

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: An embryo...? How did it get here...?

Yui: ...The World Tree, is born again alongside this World.

Yuma: Ah?

Yui: Shuu-san told me. That’s why it’ll grow again, even after withering.

Yuma: ...So it’ll be reborn even after dyin’?

Hah. I thought he was spoutin’ a load of crap by talkin ‘bout the next time we meet but...Perhaps that time is closer than I thought.

*TIMESKIP*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“We’ll live together as a family. ...To a bright future ahead of us, ‘kay?”

“A new life being born into this world, huh? ...Let’s watch over it. Together.”

Yuma: ーー Hm. ...It’s gotten a bit bigger compared to last time, don’t ya think?

Yui: According to what Reiji-san told us, it’s using the tree’s nutrients to grow.

It might just leave the membrane in another half a year or so.

Yuma: For real...? If this weren’t the Demon World, we’d have the plotpoint for a horror movie.

Yui: I hope the child will grow up healthy after being born into this world.

Yuma: I hope ya realize that ya totally sounded like a mom just now?

Yui: I feel that way towards the child we’ll end up raising together. ...Is that bad?

Yuma: Nah, I guess it’s fine? Reminds me of a real family.

But I can already tell that this lil’ one will turn into one hell of a cheeky brat, ya know?

Yui: Eeh? You think so? I believe this child will grow into a very honest person.

Yuma: Aahn? Based on what, huh? 

Yui: I mean, they’ll grow up with such a straightforward person like you as an example. I cannot imagine they wouldn’t turn out honest.

Yuma: I wonder.

...I mean, I hope that this time, they’ll be able to be a lil’ more honest ‘bout their feelings.

Yui: Eh? 

Yuma: Nothin’. Anyway, ya better not be satisfied with this?

Yui: What do you mean?

Yuma: I want a real family of our own one day too, so ya better brace yerself.

Yui: ...!

Yuma: I promise I’ll be home early today, so don’t go to sleep yet and wait for me, ‘kay?

I’ll get goin’ then. I’ll be spendin’ the whole day at Rotigenberg today.

More and more places have been hirin’ Ghouls as of late, so I’m hella busy puttin’ in a good word for them.

Yui: Good luck, dad.

Yuma: ...I’m not sure how I feel ‘bout that. I mean, if ya wanna gimme a nickname, why not go for somethin’ a lil’ more, ya know?

Yui: ...Good luck, honey?

Yuma: Heh, I like that. ...You’re going to reward me for my hard work once I’m back home, right?

Yui: Fufu, sure.

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: I’ll get goin’ then. ...Nn. 

*Smooch*

Yui: Have a safe trip. Yuma-kun.

ーー THE END ーー

[thereconstructinggirl]

The Reconstruction After the Deconstruction: The Tower Falls

I remember the day that my faith finally crumbled around me. It was June 19, 2020, and it started like a pretty normal day working at K-Kountry in Branson, Missouri. I remember going about my day in the kitchen, visiting my kids during free time, reminding other campers to keep their face coverings on because COVID-19 was wreaking havoc on society around us, and feeling all of the joy that came with my summers at Kanakuk Kamps.

I remember being pulled aside by the head women’s director and told that my mom had called to let me know my great-grandfather, my last living blood-related great-grandparent, had passed away.

No.

I knew he was old and sick but no. Pop was the strongest man alive he couldn’t die yet. Not while I’m trapped in a place states away from my family and leaving means I can’t come back.

I can’t imagine what I looked like trying to walk calmly to the front office to retrieve my phone and call my dad. I can’t imagine what the poor girl who asked me if I had permission to get my phone as I burst into tears was thinking while I used what little strength I had left to not jump the desk and get it myself. She was just doing her job, and I was simply experiencing grief like I hadn’t known in a long time.

A girl I knew pulled me into a hug and attempted what every evangelical Christian uses to comfort someone who just lost a loved one.

“He’s with our Lord. He’s not suffering anymore.”

And while that would usually bring me a lot of comfort, my Pop was an atheist. According to his beliefs, his existence ended the moment he took his last breath. His body would be lowered into the ground, and that was it. According to my belief, the kindest man I ever knew and who never let the horrors of war he experienced color his view of people who were different than him was in Hell.

Nobody knew what to do after that. Pop was stubborn. We didn’t call him an ironhead for nothing. I knew that there was no way that he would have some eleventh-hour spiritual awakening and suddenly accept Jesus as a savior or belief in God.

They let me take the evening off. I brought my dinner, my Bible, and the tarot deck I had snuck in my backpack down to the dock. Eventually, kids would file into the lower field because of course tonight was a party night. And as a hundred or so 7-11-year-old boys and girls from around the country (but mainly Missouri, Texas, Arkansas, and Tennessee) played a summer camp-friendly spy-themed scavenger hunt, I was asking God why. Why did my incredible great-grandfather who I knew was such a good person deserve to be in Hell forever for simply not believing?

I pulled The Tower.

If you know anything about tarot and about how to read and interpret the cards, you know that it’s one of the most feared cards by novice readers. In simple terms, it symbolizes chaos, sudden change, and destruction.

This card was the final straw in what I felt was my already dissolving faith. I had just figured out I was queer, I was discovering “witchtok” and finding comfort in divination through tarot cards, and there was no more ignoring that the world around me was burning. If there was a God, He was cruel and unforgiving. He let young black men be murdered by the very police officers who had sworn to protect them. He let a deadly virus bring the world to a screeching halt (and my study-abroad ventures be ripped from my hands). He let a man who meant the world to me go to Hell just for being an atheist.

I went from being an active member of the Religious Life Leadership Team at my college to literally never stepping foot into the office again for my last two years of school. A place where I had felt nothing but acceptance despite not being Methodist or being pre-ministry, suddenly brought me anxiety. The Wesley ministry group I was an active member of that welcomed queer people and questioners sent me into fight or flight mode.

Because I had experienced such a sudden change in attitude at the summer camp I had given 13 years of my life to, who’s to say that these people who have barely known me for two years wouldn’t treat me the same?

Not only did I start the grueling and mentally taxing process of deconstruction alone, but I searched for liberation in the ancient traditions of my long-dead ancestors. So I started calling myself pagan. It brought me comfort and confidence, but I was still angry and scared. I began calling myself a practitioner, because "witch" never felt quite right. I reclaimed my personal power that I was often led to believe was sinful.

When I moved across the country from my family and friends after graduating college, I found myself falling out of my practice. I found myself sobbing watching Midnight Mass on Netflix and sitting in the parking lots of a local Episcopal or Unitarian Universalist church near my apartment in Tucson. Never going in, but simply sitting and listening to the ringing bells. I found myself driving up to my favorite lookout on Mt. Lemmon to feel as close as I could to anything divine.

I didn't want to admit that I didn't know who I was or what I believed any more.

Now I sit here, almost done with my first year of graduate school, and a kind of regular at an Episcopal cathedral where I live now. I contemplate confirmation (since I was never confirmed as a child) and even contemplate going to seminary.

I still can't call myself a Christian. That term comes with baggage that I'm not ready to tote around again quite yet, but maybe I will get there again.

I still read tarot and still pray to and work with Brigid, but she's morphing into St. Brigid now.

I find myself praying again and opening up my Bible app to read the verse of the day.

I read my favorite book of the Bible regularly to remind myself that the theology that does not include justice for the disenfranchised is not the theology for me.

My hope is that this blog will document my thoughts as I begin to formally reconstruct the faith that shattered right before my eyes.

~ The Reconstructing Girl

[astarab1aze]

✾ Corpse Flower Symbolism - Kaede

I’ve come to associate Kaede with spider lilies pretty heavily, both aesthetically and symbolically. For a few reasons.

Funnily enough, about half the reason is that he’s pretty and dangerous. The whole ‘looks can be decieving’ bit. More than that, he’s a pretty flower in a field of dead ones, the only one still in bloom (considering his family). But I digress - this is just the reason that got things started.

The truth of it is, Kaede is overwhelmingly surrounded by death and made to be responsible for it - to herald it in. Moreover, his inability to protect Terin thereby resulting in his death weighs extraordinarily heavily on him, once more proving his inherent responsibility over death to himself. Proving Kurai and the rest of his clan right about him. It is his fault, it is his cross to bear, it is his blame to take. So there’s a psychological reason for my association. They all blame him, and he believes it, just as well as he kills curse users without remorse and flippantly leads his brother to his death. Just as his inability to sense the lingering ghosts and abominations remaining at the Shikabane estate had led to a second massacre. His inaction, his mediocrity, his absence and inability to ignore his pain - it’s why they’re all dead. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t, but too rigidly determined to fulfill his duty that he can’t help but blame himself too.

The flowers themselves only serve as signifiers of death, and the context needn’t always be violent. Just as he is crushed under the weight of unnecessary expectation, blame, and the like, he is ever and constantly in a state of mourning, especially following Terin’s death. He watched him die, avenged that death with prejudicial brutality, and he curses himself to this day about it, but the fact of the matter is - he is grieving, always. Grieving his brother. Grieving his lost childhood, pushed to become something he never wanted to be. Grieving his humanity, forced to sacrifice friendship and love for the sake of those who blame and blame and blame him. Grieving his mother, his uncles, cousins, aunts, grandparents, missing what too few memories he might still have of them. He saw it all, saw them away. Saw them die. Countless people, watched them all die. So many corpses laid at his feet. He survives as the spider lily, preventing the wild animals from further desecrating what remains of both his family and himself (in the greater scheme).

If we consider his technique set, and especially his relationship with the youkai, I’d think it’s probably fair to say that reincarnation would also play into this a bit. Since Divine Retribution - joint spell with the youkai - has the capacity to eviscerate a soul, remove it from the reincarnation cycle, it effectively goes against the whole ’ greeting of the newly departed to the next cycle ’ thing. It’s a direct contradiction, yes, but I think that’s probably what drives a lot of the above home. The youkai eats, absorbs, and forever halts souls in their cycles. There is no next life. There is no heaven. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. The youkai is an extremely powerful demon, brought on by the love of Kaede’s mother and unbridled hatred for their family, using him to achieve the ultimate goal of slaughtering every sorcerer involved with what happened to her and what they’d done to Kaede. Perhaps this means simply the ’ next life ’ is really just fuel for a viciously angry youkai. She adds a bit of a hellish edge to Kaede’s techniques as well, even moreso than before, so the ’ hell flower ’ thing…I’m just saying.

In a more, I guess, natural sense, the Shikabane estate was once completely overgrown with red spider lilies. So many of their own had died there, buried beneath the grounds, planting a brilliant field of spider lilies above them seemed as good a deterrent as any. Apt, feeding into their collective ego. Kaede, however, always hated them. He hated being reminded of just how much death their family had been responsible for, indulgent in, and how much they’d blamed him for. Likewise, Kurai understood this, so he tried his best to replace them with his favorites instead (he wasn’t always garbage), i.e. hydrangeas. However, he didn’t get them all, meaning death was still on the horizon for their family - which, yeah, definitely, if we consider the second massacre. But I also really think Kaede would probably, after having destroyed the Shikabane estate, have planted spider lilies there again. Prevent both animals and people from messing with it. One mass grave.

Hm, I dunno. I thought my thoughts were a bit better collected than this.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Endure XI: Graduation

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: You and the rest of the 104th graduate from the Cadet Corps.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4.7k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

A/N: enjoy this guys it’s the last happy chapter you all get

“Eren Jaeger has been found dead! What’s more, it is believed to have been a murder!” Commandant Shadis declared. You and Jean gasped as the Commandant yanked back a curtain, revealing Eren’s body. He lay, spread eagle, his beautiful eyes closed forever, a puddle of red surrounding his body.

“I can’t believe it,” you murmured. Jean’s jaw dropped in shock, his eyes wide as he took in the scene before you.

“Me either,” he said, “This is really realistic!”

“I know, right?” Eren piped up.

“Silence, Cadet Jaeger! You’re dead, remember?” Commandant Shadis snapped. Eren immediately shut his mouth.

Now that your training was over, everyone was being tested in order to determine if you were worthy of passing and joining the military. You all had to do the obligatory titan-killing challenge first, where you had to get as many of the wooden targets as possible. Everyone had passed that part with flying colors, and later, there would be a written exam to test your knowledge of basic military protocols.

But in between were a few special challenges, assigned to people seemingly at random. Right now, you and Jean were the ones completing your special challenge, which was a murder mystery. The two of you were playing the roles of MPs, tasked with solving the case of Eren Jaeger’s odd death.

“Here’s what we know so far. Eren Jaeger was holding a party with a few close friends and family members when he was discovered to be dead, stabbed through the stomach. There is clear evidence of foul play, though the weapon was unable to be recovered. It is up to the two of you to figure out who killed him. If you can correctly solve the case, you will pass this challenge. If not, well...let’s just hope you can solve the case!” Commandant Shadis said cheerfully. You and Jean exchanged glances.

You were not pleased by the fact that Jean was your partner. Though you tolerated each other, you two were still not the best of friends by any means. If Tullia or Armin or Mikasa or Eren had been your partner, you would’ve solved this in an instant, your complementary personalities and history of trusting each other coming in handy.

Perhaps that was why the Commandant had selected you and Jean to complete this challenge, then. You could not always choose who your comrades were; you simply needed to be able to work with them regardless.

“And now, those that were present at the party will introduce themselves,” Commandant Shadis said, waving the first person forward.

“I’m Armin Jaeger, Eren’s younger brother. Eren and I grew up together. He was my big brother, and I always looked up to him: Eren, who looked out for me when I got hurt, Eren, who stood up for me against my parents even though it might mean he lost the opportunity to inherit our family fortune, Eren, who always got me my favorite food when I was upset. I can’t believe he’s d-dead,” Armin said before bursting into tears. The Commandant escorted him off the stage, patting him on the shoulder.

“Mikasa Ackerman. Eren and I were...friends. Yeah, we were really close friends, alright. I’ll wager I was his closest friend, besides his wife of course,” she said, frowning slightly, “I can’t believe he’s been killed. Eren was a good guy! He didn’t deserve to be murdered! And to think I probably know one of the filthy beasts that did it sickens me.” She spun and stormed off of the stage in fury.

“They’re really getting into this,” Jean whispered to you. You nodded.

“I didn’t realize how good at acting our friends were,” you agreed.

“T-tullia J-jaeger. A-am I in t-trouble?” Tullia said.

“If you keep stuttering like that, you will be,” Jean said.

“Shut the hell up, Jean, I’m trying to play the part of a nine year old that just saw her father’s corpse!” she hissed. The Commandant cleared his throat as if to remind her that she was supposed to be playing a role. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself.

“M-my dad was a nice man. He and Auntie Mika used to take me out to get dinner when my mommy had to go shopping with her friends. Mommy and Auntie Mika say he’s dead now, though. Is that true?” she sniffed before slowly walking off the stage, hiding her giggles at the ridiculous act behind her hand.

“My name is Sasha Braus. Eren and I were business partners, you see, each owning half of the company we ran. Now that he’s dead, I’m going to have to own the entire thing. Oh, Sina, oh, Rose, oh, Maria, what am I going to do? How can I run a company by myself?” she wailed, burying her face in her hands and nearly falling as she left the stage. Thankfully, Mikasa caught her.

“Krista Jaeger, nee Lenz. Eren and I have been married for 10 years, and as you can tell, we have a beautiful daughter. Please, tell me you’ll find justice for him! Find justice for my Eren! How am I supposed to go on? We were going to go on a vacation to Mitras! I don’t even know if I’ll be able to support myself and Tullia on his life insurance payout,” Krista said, breaking down in genuine sobs. You almost felt bad for her as she cried. Reiner joined her on the stage and gently helped her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her.

“Eren was my best friend. Wait, oh, I have to say my name first, right? Reiner Braun. Anyways, like I was saying, Eren and I were best friends. We met through Krista here. Krista and I used to date,” his face grew sour, “but we remained friends after our breakup. Once Krista started dating and then got married to Eren, him and I became close. I honestly don’t know what to say about the fact that he’s dead. Fucking dead. I guess I’ll have to step up and take care of Krista and Tullia. I promise you, Eren, I will do my best to be the man they deserve, even though nobody could ever replace you.”

“And that’s everyone!” the Commandant said as Krista and Reiner left the stage, “The spare building is functioning as the Jaeger house, so you can search for clues in there. You guys have unlimited time, but try not to take the entire day figuring this out, if only because I have other challenges to run.”

As soon as he was finished and gave you the signal to begin, you and Jean spun to face each other.

“Anything jump out from the speeches?” he said. You furrowed your brow in thought.

“Clearly, Eren was rich. Really, really, rich. I’m willing to bet that whoever killed him had some goals of getting his money. Top suspects at the moment? Sasha and Armin. Now Sasha gets to own the entire company, and Armin inherits the family fortune,” you said.

“Agreed, those two are definitely extremely suspicious, but I’m kind of wary of Reiner, too. I don’t think he ever got over Krista. What if he killed Eren to get him out of the way so he could be with her?” Jean said.

“That’s true. I think we should go look for clues inside the house to try and narrow this down, because I do not want to fail,” you said.

“Same. I’ve gotta make the top ten to become an MP,” Jean said as you walked into the building that was serving as the Jaeger house.

“I just want to pass, although top ten would be nice. I don’t know if I’ll make it in, though,” you said with a shrug.

“You have a good shot,” he admitted begrudgingly, “You’re not as good as, say, Mikasa, but you’re pretty skilled. Don’t downplay yourself.”

“Wow, thanks Jean! I never thought you of all people would be praising me!” you said, poking him in the cheek. He slapped your hand away harshly.

“Shut it, Y/N. Not a word about that ever again, you hear me? Now come on, we have a mystery to solve,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah. Where do you want to start?” you said.

“How about his office?” Jean said. You nodded in agreement.

“Good idea. I’m assuming it’s the room with the sign on it that says ‘OFFICE’ in all caps?” you said.

“I think that’s a fairly safe bet,” he said, and together, you crept into the room.

It was fairly peaceful, with nothing out of the ordinary. There were a few papers on the desk, and books lined the shelves, but nothing else. You picked up the papers: bank statements, mostly. There was one about his life insurance policy, which no doubt Krista had taken out to review after his death, and another that was the deed to his half of the company, probably looked over by Sasha. Beyond that, though, there was nothing too exciting. Certainly, none of it was a major clue.

“Find anything?” you said to Jean, who was looking over the bookshelf. He shook his head mournfully.

“No, nothing,” he said, placing the book he had been looking through down. It was a travel guide or something, with a few bookmarked pages.

“The Jaegers must have been big travellers,” you mused, “Krista said they were going to go on vacation to Mitras, didn’t she?”

“Lifestyle of the mega rich, I guess,” Jean groused.

“Yeah, suppose so. Let’s go to the bedroom next?” you said.

“Ooh, you want to go to the bedroom with me? I mean, I’m kind of dating your best friend, but I won’t say no,” he said with a wink. You kicked him in the back of the leg.

“Horny bastard, you know what I meant. Come on,” you said, marching off in the direction of the room labelled as the bedroom.

The bed was neatly made, the curtains drawn back to allow the sun to stream in.

“I’ll go in the bathroom. You look in the nightstand drawers and stuff,” Jean said. You almost felt like arguing, just to piss him off, but at the last minute decided against it. You two needed to work as a team, and if that meant that you listened to him just this once in order to graduate, well, so be it.

“Damn, Eren, what exactly was your job?” you muttered to yourself, admiring the ornate furniture of the Jaeger bedroom before heading to what was marked as ‘Krista’s Side’ of the bed. There was nothing on the nightstand except for a book about the insects of Mitras, most likely in preparation for their trip. She had left off on a page about praying mantises, and you gagged at the image of its large eyes, quickly shutting the book and heading to ‘Eren’s Side.’

Unlike Krista’s, his drawers were not empty. You frowned, pulling out a white button down shirt from the bottom drawer. Why had he kept a shirt in his nightstand? How odd.

Looking closer, you realized it wasn’t even his shirt. It must have been Krista’s, as you recognized it to be one of the shirts that you girls often wore as part of your uniforms, but the question still remained: why the hell was it in Eren’s nightstand?

“Creepy fucker,” you said, “Maybe it’s for the best that you died.”

Unfolding it, hoping it would maybe have a clue, you furrowed your brow in confusion, holding it up against your body to confirm your hypothesis.

“Y/N! In here!” Jean shouted. You ran into the bathroom, still holding the shirt in your hands. He was brandishing a toothbrush and comb in his hands, handing them to you.

“Look, Eren had an extra toothbrush in his cabinet,” he said, showing it to you.

“That’s hardly weird,” you said. He rolled his eyes and smacked you upside the head.

“Idiot, it’s used. And this hairbrush is, too,” he said, handing it to you and waiting for you to come to the same conclusion he had.

He was right. The hairbrush was used, but not by Eren or Krista. It had been used by someone with short, black hair. You showed him the shirt.

“I found it in Eren’s nightstand, but it’s way too big to have been Krista’s like I thought it was at first. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” you said. Jean nodded gravely.

“Eren was cheating on Krista with Mikasa.”

“Of course! That was what she meant when she said they were ‘close friends’ and the only one he was closer with was Krista, even though Reiner was his best friend!” you said in realization before beginning to laugh at the pun. Jean snickered as well.

“That was clever on her part,” he said.

“Yeah, it really was. Okay, what does this change?” you said.

“Mikasa is a huge suspect now. I mean, come on, jilted lover who’s sick of being the second choice? She kills Eren, nobody finds out about her transgressions, badabing, badaboom, she’s free to go,” Jean said.

“We should check his will,” you said. Jean’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“You think —?” he said.

“If Mikasa was recently added to the will, then maybe she was trying to sleep her way into getting his money. Good for her, honestly,” you said as you raced down towards the office again.

As Jean began to rifle through Eren’s desk drawers in search of his will, you opened the travel guide that he had been looking at earlier, marvelling at the different sights. The first bookmark was a huge lake, and the next was a forest. The rest of them were various camping spots, and you smiled before closing it as Jean let out a shout.

“Found it!” he said. You ran to his side to peer over his shoulder at the will. Like you had suspected, Mikasa had recently been added into the will, receiving a fairly hefty sum of money indeed.

“Mikasa’s a gold digger!” Jean cackled.

“Her methods were brutal but effective,” you said, putting the will down and catching sight of two tickets to Mitras, presumably for the Jaegers’ vacation. How sad that they would never be able to take it.

“Should we go tell the Commandant?” Jean said. You nodded before pausing.

“Let’s look over his body first. Uh, Eren’s, not the Commandant’s. Maybe we’ll get more proof on the method of murder,” you said.

“Good idea. You’re pretty smart sometimes,” he said, ruffling your hair.

“Thanks, Jean. You too. We make a pretty good team,” you said.

“Yeah, don’t expect this to become a habit or like a normal thing.”

“Agreed.”

Racing towards where Eren still lay in the pool of fake blood, you knelt next to him and began checking him over.

“Find anything?” you said to Jean, who was inspecting the fake stab wound. He frowned.

“It looks like a normal fake stab wound. Probably a knife that did it, though how Mikasa was able to get a knife and then hide it before anybody found out what she did, I have no clue. Then again, if anybody could do it, it’d be her, so I’m not surprised,” he said, shaking his head.

“True,” you said before noticing that Eren’s collar was crooked. You narrowed your eyes before leaning over and peeling it back, revealing the soft skin of his neck — and the pink lipstick mark on it.

“Whatcha got there?” Jean said, sitting beside you. You snickered, patting Eren, who was struggling very hard to keep his eyes shut, on the cheek.

“Naughty Eren was up to something before he was killed. Looks like Mikasa was an opportunist,” you said, pointing at the lipstick mark. Jean smirked.

“The man’s got game, but in the end, his hormones led to his death,” he said with a long-suffering sigh.

“Sounds like something that would happen to you in real life,” you said.

“Yeah. Wait, no! I would never date someone that wears lipstick that pink! Oh, and I wouldn’t cheat, either. Hey, don’t make that face at me! I was only joking earlier, I would never actually cheat!” he said.

“No, shh, that’s not what I’m thinking about,” you said, bending closer to inspect the lipstick mark on Eren’s neck. Like Jean had said, it was a light pink.

“What, then? Wish it was you instead of Mikasa?” he said.

“On the payroll? Yeah, apparently Eren was quite rich, so I wouldn’t complain,” you said with a snort.

“No, that’s not — okay, but that’s not even what you were thinking about! What’s actually on your mind?” he said.

“This lipstick is pink, like you said,” you said, tracing around the mark lightly. Goosebumps raised on Eren’s skin, and you ceased your motions to make him more comfortable.

“Yes? Did you want me to be more specific? Well, I’d say it’s more of a sunrise pink than a candy pink,” he said, stroking his chin in thought. You stared him dead in the eyes.

“Mikasa doesn’t wear pink lipstick. She only ever wears peach or clear lip gloss.”

“EREN PULLED THREE GIRLS?” Jean screamed.

“Maybe. Could he and Sasha have been having an affair as well?” you said. Jean frowned.

“It’s possible,” he said.

“Wait, Jean, hold on a second. Back in the office, I only saw two tickets for Mitras,” you said.

“That would be because they only need two tickets now, with Eren having, you know,” he made a motion miming decapitation.

“True, but didn’t Krista say that they had planned the vacation before Eren’s death? She was so upset because they weren’t able to go on it,” you said slowly.

“...maybe they were going to leave Tullia with someone?” he said.

“It’s possible, but now that I think about it, all of the pages bookmarked in the travel guide were camping spots. If Eren liked camping, why would they go to a big city on vacation? And not just any big city but Mitras. There’s like nothing outdoorsy there at all!” you said.

“Oh! And if Krista definitely has motives. She must’ve found out that our man Eren here was cheating on her, so she killed him as payback!” Jean added.

“And that life insurance policy must not have been too bad, either. Tullia said Krista used to go shopping a lot, remember? She must have wanted the freedom to spend Eren’s money however she wanted!” you said.

“But the question is how she did it?” Jean said. You were silent for a second before you arrived at the answer.

“Of course! They were having a party! The Jaegers were rich, so they must have had meat, which Krista, as the wife, would’ve been in charge of preparing. A steak knife could definitely make that kind of wound, and it wouldn’t even be that hard to hide. Just take it back to the kitchen, wash it, and bam! Nobody’s questioning you!” you said excitedly. Jean high-fived you.

“Is that your final answer, cadets?” Commandant Shadis said, appearing behind where you and Jean were crouched over Eren’s body. You exchanged nervous glances. You only had one shot at this, but for some reason...you felt like you could trust Jean. You nodded.

“I think it is,” you said. Jean gave you a half-smile.

“It is,” he affirmed. The Commandant stared at you with a blank look on his face for a moment. The longer he went without speaking, the more anxious you got, your palms growing slick with sweat. Jean’s equally clammy hand found your own and squeezed it in reassurance. Perhaps the thought of graduating was making him soft. Regardless as to his reasoning, he did make you feel a little better, so you squeezed back.

“Cadets, that was…” Commandant Shadis trailed off in disappointment. You and Jean’s faces fell.

“THE RIGHT ANSWER!” Eren completed, sitting up and hugging you from behind.

“Huh?” you said.

“Wait, we passed?” Jean checked. The Commandant’s strict face broke out into a grin.

“That’s correct. Congratulations, both of you. You will be credits to whichever branch of the military you choose to join,” he said, saluting at you proudly. You shot to your feet, knocking Eren backwards. Jean did the same, and you gave each other wide-eyed stares.

“By the walls, did we really pass?” Jean said.

“I think we did,” you said, equally as disbelieving.

“Ow, my head,” Eren whined, though you ignored him, too caught up in the fact that you had managed to pass your challenge.

“WOOHOO! We passed! I can join the MPs now!” Jean shouted.

“Yeah! And I won’t have to work in the fields or something!” you shouted back, equally as excited.

“You know what this calls for, Y/N?” Jean said.

“What, Jean?” you said. He crouched on the ground.

“VICTORY PIGGYBACK RIDE!” he said.

“YEAH!” you cheered, leaping on his back and wrapping your arms around his neck. He hooked his arms under your legs before taking off at a sprint in the direction of the Mess Hall. You knew that as soon as he deposited you on the ground, you would be back to making fun of each other, but for now, your euphoria at not getting kicked out of the military overtook any hard feelings you might have.

“You know what?” you said as Jean stopped in front of the Mess Hall, panting slightly at the exertion of sprinting while carrying you, “I’m glad we were partners. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with.”

“Yeah, me either. You’re a good person,” he said.

“You too,” you said, landing gracefully on the ground, “but if you ever mention that I said that, I will shove my foot so far up your ass it comes out of your mouth!”

“Sounds hot,” Jean said with a wink. You gave him a dull look before punching him in the face, leaving him with a bloody nose and a whole lot of unbridled rage, just the way you both liked it.

That was how you and Jean were. You hated each other, and neither of you had any qualms about hurting the other, but you knew that should anyone else try to hurt him, you’d be the first to jump to his defense. You had a funny feeling Jean was much the same, try to hide the affection that he had for you ever since the clown makeup incident though he might.

After all of the challenges, the written exam, and dinner were over, it was time for the Closing Ceremony. You were nervous to find out how you had done, and you knew everyone else was, too. You made your way over to Mikasa, Tullia, Eren, Armin, and Sasha were standing. Armin noticed you first and gave you a welcoming smile. Eren was next, and he wrapped an arm around you comfortingly.

“Good job with your challenge, by the way. You’re making the top ten for sure,” he said. You smiled at him.

“Thanks, manwhore. You too,” you said. He gaped at you.

“What did you just call me?”

“Married to Krista but cheating on her with Mikasa? That’s some manwhore behavior. I don’t blame Krista for doing what she did,” you said, shaking your head in mock-sadness.

“Wh–Hey, that was all pretend! I’d never actually do something like that! I’d also never marry Krista, doesn’t she have like a thing with Ymir?” he said. You shrugged.

“Maybe. I wouldn’t be surprised,” you said.

“Okay, but either way, I’m not a manwhore! Take it back!” he said. You elbowed him in the side.

“Shh, Commandant is starting.”

“...and now,” Shadis finally said after his long speech about how you had all made him proud, “for your top ten cadets!”

Eren gave you a reassuring look, and you knew that it did not matter what place either of you got. You didn’t want to be MPs, so in the end, top ten meant nothing more to you than bragging rights.

“Number one, Mikasa Ackerman! Number two, Reiner Braun! Number three, Bertholdt Hoover! Number four, Tullia Ral! Number five, Annie Leonhardt! Number six, Eren Jaeger! Number seven, Y/N L/N! Number eight, Jean Kirstein! Number nine, Marco Bodt! And number ten, Connie Springer!”

Top ten. You, Mikasa, Tullia, Eren, and Jean had all made it into the top ten. What’s more, you had somehow ranked above Jean. If you were more immature than you were, you’d rub it in his face, but you knew that a big part of your success was the help Levi and Petra had given you over the years, so it wasn’t like you were some sort of prodigy.

Still, the fact remained that you had done it. You were good; no, you were the best of the best. Of course, Mikasa had done excellent. She was inhumanly strong, and it hadn’t even been a competition for the top spot. Eren was so determined that it was almost a given that he would be in the top ten, and Tullia was a Ral. Petra was one of the best in the Survey Corps, hence why she was a part of the Special Operations Squad, and clearly the skill was a genetic thing, as Tullia had most certainly inherited it. As for you? Well, you had followed the advice from Petra and Levi, of course.

More specifically, you did what Levi had told you to do way back in his first letter. Through everything you had faced, through all of the times you had wanted to quit and the way you could barely recognize yourself now, no longer a sweet-faced young girl but a trained soldier, you endured.

“The moon’s pretty tonight,” Eren said to you as you sat on the front steps of the deserted mess hall. It was true. The moon was full and bright, washing you both in a silvery glow as you stared up at it.

“It is,” you agreed. He placed his hand atop yours, and you looked at him in confusion. His eyes were urgent when he spoke next.

“Join the military police,” he said.

“What? Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical of you to say, after that whole speech you gave about why we shouldn’t join the military police?” you said in confusion.

“That’s because...you know I have that dream, to see the outside world. Joining the Scouts is how I can accomplish that dream, and I’m willing to give up my life, everyone else’s life, for freedom. But not yours. I can’t give up yours. There’s no point in freedom for me if I don’t have you,” he said.

“Why?” you said quietly. He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes.

“Because,” he whispered, “You’re...important to me.”

“You’re important to me too, Eren. That’s why I have to join the Scouts. I’m going to help you accomplish your dream, and I’ll accomplish my own,” you said.

“What’s your dream?” he said.

“I want to be someone that’s worth something. Someone that changes the world,” you said.

“You changed my world,” he offered. You exhaled gently.

“You changed mine, too,” you said. He reached for your hand and held it in between both of his, drawing back to stare at you with that soft gaze of his, as if he was trying to remember exactly what you looked like in this moment for all of eternity.

Eren was, you decided, the most beautiful person you had ever seen, tied only with Mikasa. You realized, staring at him in the moonlight, that you could live a thousand lifetimes and never not think such a thing, never not love him.

“Can I tell you something?” he said.

“Yes, anything,” you said.

“I-I love...the moon! I love the moon, it’s so pretty and gentle and it’s always been there for me, even when everyone else left,” he said, eyes wide. You frowned, thinking he was going to something else, thinking he was going to say you.

“Well, I love the sun. It’s warm and bright and it’s the giver of all life,” you said after a second.

“But it’s so hot. The moon is better,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You knew exactly what he was referring to, and you could not help but smile at it, too.

“I guess you’re right, but I still like the sun more. That’s okay though! We can still be best friends, right?” you said, just like you had when you were three years old.

“Best friends, times infinity.”

taglist (send an ask or dm to be added): @futuristicxie

[seullieverse]

Daily AU #2

Yves & Haseul, implied Yvesoul and Lipseul, college AU, 1.5k words 11.06.2024

this is another something lost on my drafts that i thought to revamp and repost @everydayau

Yves throws her phone across the bed, sighing heavily. She covers her eyes with her arms and flops into the bed, groaning.

“Why do you treat Jinsoul like that? Aren't you two, like, dating?” Haseul inquires from her side of the shared room.

Yves now sits on the edge of her bed, eyes frowning, “‘Like that’ how?”

There's silence, Haseul's trying to find the right words, she looks everywhere but Yves' eyes, fidgeting on her seat—it’s the same as ever, Yves talks to Jinsoul on the phone, Haseul explicitly shows her discomforted face from the exchange, they never talk about it.

Haseul turns her body to face the laptop on her desk.

“‘Like that’ how, Haseul,” Yves presses.

Haseul sucks on her breath, her back still facing Yves, “Like that… you know,” she clicks her tongue, again trying to find her words (as if it wasn’t the heavy air hanging above them; if it wasn’t for Haseul’s clear uneasiness or the topic she was bringing, it’d be amusing to see the always-awkward-and-never-stop-talking Haseul silent, Yves wouldn’t let her live another day without remembering, but she knows how to read a room, and she knows she’s not with the upper hand), she finally sighs and continues, “as if you’re doing her a favour for simply talking to her, like she’s not worth all the time of the world. As if you weren’t in love with her since, like, forever.”

Yves shrugs her stiffness away, “She’s used to it,” maybe not the best wording, she notices, but now she’s just vomiting the words without thinking, “and I’m used to her being used to it. We work fine.”

Oh. Maybe Haseul has a point, and maybe she hates to admit it.

“That’s not how you treat someone you care about,” she has never thought about the weight of having Haseul’s disappointed gaze on her before now, and how horrible it feels, how small she feels. How ironic to pity herself because of a scolding from her wrongdoings.

“You know, I’d never let you treat me like this and we’re friends, I call you out when you start getting bitchy with me. Jinsoul doesn’t, Jinsoul always thinks there’s a reason for you to act like this, ‘Soo’s just busy with college’, ‘Soo might be stressed, her family must be at it again’, ‘it’s just how Soo is, I’m used’, she looks so sad whenever she says this.”

Of course Haseul is right, of course Haseul just knows what to do with her oh-so-perfect relationship. “I know! It’s just,” it wasn’t in her plans to scream (kudos to Haseul for keeping her ground and not recoiling), but her thoughts are foggy right now and she’s more prone to burst when she’s not right. Yves rubs her face (she’ll keep her ground too, stubborness is a game two can play, even though she knows she’s wrong this time), “I just don’t know how to talk to her, I’m not good with honesty. I can’t help it if my only way of expressing myself is with this ‘bitchy and sarcastic persona’ you oh-so-hate.”

Yves expects Haseul to burst too; if she did, at least she wouldn’t feel so bad for doing so. However, Haseul’s disappointment only grows, and, again, Yves feels small. (She should’ve expected this reaction, Haseul doesn’t burst when she’s angry; she stresses-cry, excludes herself and plays the victim—at least in this aspect they’re the same, and Yves feels a little bit less bad for pitying herself.)

“That’s certainly not what I’m trying to say,” she curls her lips and breaks the staring match and Yves smirks out of reflex, bad timing, because now Haseul huffs quietly and fights a grin of her own. Yves feels proud, though, because Haseul softens and the tension subsides a little bit, “There’s other ways to show you care, you don’t need to touch or always talk, this is Jinsoul’s way. But you should try to treat her like she’s the most important person in the world—”

Yves’s smirk turns into a smile, now, “Because that’s how Jungeun always makes you feel.”

“That’s how Jungeun—yeah, you got it,” they laugh. Haseul rises from her place and sits beside Yves, “She has problems, too, you know, she doesn’t like when I get too touchy and she’d never talk about it at first. I had to walk around eggs, it was a big turn off to see her getting all fun and laughs with Jiwoo and not even look at me when we were together.”

Yves takes Haseul’s arms to snuggle on her lap to seek comfort, “And then you two talked about it and sorted everything out?”

“Not actually, to be honest” she starts to brush Yves’s hair, “we kind of started a silent fight of ‘who’s wronger’. I wanted her to see I was bothered, so I started to be monosyllabic when talking to her, and she started to talk less to me—I don’t know if you know, but when we’re alone Jungeun actually changes a lot, she gets all clingy with me! And she also does all these things, you know, when she gets really soft, she only used to do that with Jiwoo, and only when they were alone, so it was pretty surprising for me to see this side for the first time—”

Yves scoffs, makes sure to pinch a little bit too hard Haseul’s cheek, “You’re digressing, go back.”

Haseul whines dramatically and holds Yves’s pulse away from her face, which earns her another pinch from the other hand—she has only herself to blame, she always tells Haseul to work out more, only to fall on deaf ears—and a laugh, “Okay, okay, going back to the story since it seems you don’t like seeing me happy.”

Yves rolls her eyes, “Good that you know, you dramatic ass.”

“So, silent fight, she started to ignore me—okay, in our heads, we thought that whoever talks first was wrong, so we started to give the other hints, it somehow turned into a competition; I was so frustrated with everything, well, frustrated with myself, and I was so angry with Jungie because she’s really good at hiding her feelings and pretending nothing’s wrong and I was mad because, like, I couldn’t be the only one affected by it, right?”

“Was it that month you were really snappy with me and blamed it on finals?”

“Yeah… sorry about that,” Haseul flushes, it takes a while before she continues and Yves waits in the caring touch patiently, “It took a whole month for us, in the end we gave in together, funny right? We were watching something really boring Jungie chose to piss me off and by the end of it she gave me a small present and I said  ‘I forgive you’ to her.”

It’s not uncommon for Haseul to deflect the blame, but it still impresses Yves, “You’re really passive-aggressive when you want to, you know that?”

“I know that, I’m working on it,” she pinches her nose, “In the end, she got really angry with me because according to her I was acting like ‘a frigid bitch’ and I should’ve said that I was jealous—which I wasn’t, I was just feeling really ignored.”

Now she’s even more amused, “You’re really trying to defend yourself to me?” Yves raises her eyebrows, holding back a smile, “In the end, you were wrong, got it.”

“It doesn’t matter who’s wrong and who’s right!”

“Something the wrong person would say.”

“Good to know you’re in a good mood now to be teasing me,” Haseul groans. She shoves Yves from her lap, “In the end she understood why I was acting like that, and she started giving me attention in other ways. In the end, she did that because she’s not really fond of showing off her relationship to the world, so she started taking enough lunch for both of us and leaving me notes when we couldn't talk, holding hands under the table and so on.”

“Of course she is cheesy like this,” it’s playful, but Yves’s somehow glad.

“What I want to say is: There’s always something you can do to show you care. Doesn’t need to be in words, but please, Soo, you need to start showing it, it’s really tiring to feel like everything you do is one-sided.” Haseul hands her the phone with a soft smile, “You should call her, plan a date, make some dinner, candles and everything, make her feel loved.”

“I will,” Yves feels lighter now, typing incessantly as Haseul goes back to work on her laptop, “Thank you, Haseul, it really helped.”

"Why are you so smug right now?"

"I don't know," Yves says, nonchalantly,  "there's something really comforting in knowing you have trouble in paradise"

[v0guereality]

Seeing yourself in love-

It's well and truly such an interesting concept. Someone and something I no longer have, forever immortalized in videos and pictures, ones where I could see how my entire world lay behind the eyes of someone else.

Even wilder again is the thought that those are the same eyes that have become strangers to me - the exact twinkle not quite as clear in my mind as they used to be. What used to be muscle memory feels foreign; the only reminder being a video of a kiss, a gentle caress, a tangle of two people's skin where you cannot tell where one starts and the other ends.

It has been a while since I've laid in bed with someone else, completely removed of all my masks. A morning spent tangled up in sheets and lost in time because if I hid from the concept it didn’t have to exist. Days felt like eternity, because I would laugh and scream and just exist, on loop, as sunrise slowly passed to sunset. 

It is so interesting to see what things pictures whisper to me. My talkative eyes tell me so much, with love and passion radiating out of them in a way that lets me recall that exact moment through the screen as if it had barely passed.

I love hard and I fall hard. I find refuge in the arms of those I’ve loved; their embrace as my safety net, and their scent as my home.

When I see it through old pictures and videos, it feels both nostalgic and yet wildly foreign to see my eyes speak emotions I am not currently comprehending. The same way I question how on earth I found energy as a child to spring awake and play relentlessly, I question how I ever found myself letting go enough to trust someone else to catch me.

It is unfair to call that emotion foreign; I guess I prefer distant. Something not quite gone out of my range of sight, but just far enough out of it that I see it in a horizon slightly out of my reach. 

It can’t be too far gone- I see glimpses of it every day.

I see it in my mother, who makes sure I always leave the house with a coffee and a kiss on the head.

I see it in my father, who remembers my big events of the day to show me he cares.

I see it in the way that I am never to be forgotten by my sisters, who despite resistance to my endless hugs, will come and giggle and make sense of jokes that require our specific sense of humor, not leaving until the clouds clear from above my head.

I see it in my best friend's messages, because although we both recede into the comfort of our own busy lives, she will always remind me she is proud of me, and that she is thinking of me every day.

I see it in the eyes of another mother, who will make me dinner to not end the flow of conversation we are thoroughly invested in as I sit perched on her car in a parking lot.

I see it in the texts my sweet angels send me, because although we are oceans apart, we are tied by an invisible cord that binds our hearts to each other.

I see it in her piercing, fierce eyes. The ones that calculate my every thought and move in a way that reads straight through my soul, because time is a simple concept compared to how well she understands my heart.

I even smell it in her perfume. A scent I will never be able to replace in my mind, that fills me with warmth and association to a joy I cannot ever capture in words.

And this is why it is such a strange concept to see myself in love. 

I don’t know how to capture it in words.

I cannot fathom its range, because it is a range deeper than I can comprehend.

I simply know exactly how it feels; and it feels like a bad day is still worth pushing through because there will be more days filled with the essence and purity captured in my heart.

Capturing something so uncontainable and intangible within myself is impossible. It is foreign for me to see. 

So, whenever I catch a glimpse of my eyes twinkling in a mirror, or a reflection, or in a picture captured in a moment of my most raw emotion, I cannot help but love what it invokes in my soul, because there is nothing stranger yet more beautiful than to see myself in love.

[demonicsaintess]

Just… *wipes tear* just know I accidentally forever deleted this article right before it was finished. I cried a bit on the inside, like a winner, (sike I cried on the outside too!!), and decided to write it again, but better.

Three Animes I Have Dropped, and Why

So, we all like anime! Yay! That’s why we’re here right? We have our favorites, those we’ve hated, and those we’re obsessed with— the ones who have become a part of you (wow that’s cheesier than a little kid’s hands at the cesspool of mechanical rat pizza—-) *ahem* Anyways, I thought I’d write a pretty straight-forward bit about 3 animes I’ve dropped and why. Now, without further ado:

Don’t Toy With Me Miss Nagatoro!

Sometimes one needs a palate cleanser between animes. This, is one of those animes. I’d honestly say under my breath, it’s a “beginner’s” anime. I’m personally unaware of any, but I truly wonder if there is someone out there desperately pining for this show. Not to say it’s a bad show, it’s a great concept for a high school romcom, but it just leads you by the nose with the shock value. I get that a romcom is very difficult to make completely unique these days, and it’s still a charming show in itself, but I’m TIRED of ecchi laced romcoms where the joke is perverseness. Not saying Nagatoro is sexual, just, the show to me felt like her sadism always had to do with anatomy? I’m not sure I’m explaining this quite right. TLDR; I got tired after a few episodes, of seeing this almost romanticized play of Nagatoro mercilessly bullying someone. It’s not a bad anime; but for me it was destined to be dropped~

Death Note

**Note; I’m getting a horrible, chilling feeling running down my spine as my fingers move across my keyboard.

I’m willing to stake my nonexistant reputation on this take. Therefore my take is; maaaaaan honestly what a damn let down. Maybe it’s just because this sort of anime doesn’t appeal to me, but the only reason I even watched the damn show was because I was trying to get my wife into anime. She’s a normie, so this actually didn’t backfire on me, except towards myself. I had to sit through the most BORING anime I personally have ever watched. Sue me okay? I said what I said. Everything about this anime is just dumb; and here’s why. I’m all for fucking narcissism and killing bad people to make society better, but goddamn fucking Light is an idiot. I just feel like he rushed his killings. I wasn’t excited even once, except watching how excited my wife was. I would have dropped this before I even started, if it wasn’t for her. I watched the first 12 episodes and BOUNCED. TLDR; Light is an annoying toddler and also a fucking idiot who honestly is simply book smart. Dude is lame as hell. Even the bitch he pulled is lame. What a lame way to try and fix the world. Think bigger you loser.

God of Highschool

Okay so, this one as well, is probably going to get me flamed, but again, I said what I said. I’m not quite sure when I decided this anime was not for me, but when I did, I was ready to throw it away. To be fair, I don’t even think I made it past his 2 friends going up against whoever they were in the contest? It just felt… slow? to me; maybe even boring. For example, the characters were awesome, but felt two dimensional to me. Of course, this is just speculation, considering I didn’t make it very far into the show. I lost interest in it, and unfortunately the fight scenes weren’t enough to make me stick to it. I heard it’s pretty good though, from other people, so I can’t knock it too hard. TLDR: it’s not my kind of show, but the fight scenes could be pretty hype for someone who likes shonen more than I do!

So yeah, I’m not saying these animes are bad. There’s a reason why they’re so popular; but just not interesting enough for me.

Thank you as always, for taking time to read another entry by me,

The Holy Villainess