#simply put we are not in this alone ⋆˙⊹ queue

[strangewonderful]

IF YOU CRUSH A COCKROACH YOU'RE A HERO. IF YOU CRUSH A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY, YOU'RE A VILLAIN. MORALS HAVE AESTHETIC CRITERIA : nimrod roy ♡˚₊ the rogue. the swordbearer. some say that she is a protector, and some whisper that she is a monster. she doesn't know who she is.

[strangewonderful]

"buck," andie doesn't mean to nearly cut off her uncle, but if her words crowd close to the end of tommy's sentence then it's just with excitement. and an understanding that they need to hustle. tommy's not explaining it well. "do you have potatoes?" buck doesn't even know what he's making, yet. "and a grater." and eggs.

from the moment that andie first thought buck can help she hasn't stopped to think about much else—like exactly how much work she's throwing on his shoulders. "you know," at once she tries shoving both the phone and platter of cookies at tommy, before realizing that his hands are still full of wine. she has no solution to this, moving the stuff around looking for anywhere to set it down as she continues to talk. she balances her phone on top of the cookies, but that still leaves her with a platter of cookies. "maybe i should come over and help." | @entriprises

Andie bouncing on her toes, Tommy is hit with a wave of sweet-tinged nostalgia. For a second, his niece isn't all grown-up, but an excited kid, telling Tommy about her current obsession.

It passes quickly, replaced with both hope and dread as Buck's voice spills out of Andie's phone.

"No," Tommy sighs, annoyed with himself and Andie in equal measure. He doesn't like inconveniencing other people. Although, he supposes, if there's anyone he should be okay with bothering, it should be his boyfriend. " We do mean right now."

"Maybe, you can mix it all together now? It's got to rest anyway so it can sit on the drive over? We can fry them up here. They taste better hot too." See, Tommy is capable of seeing the bright sides. This will work. // @strangewonderful

[strangewonderful]

will works so fucking hard for his music. it doesn't just come easily to him in the way that it does for a lot of the artists around him. he's good with a crowd and can put on a performance—he is a performer. but writing for him is like pulling teeth.

there are countless stories of natural-born musicians and songwriters who write songs like there's a magical well in them and all they have to do is open the spigot to let the lyrics flow. scarlett is a little bit like that since she's someone who has been writing lyrics as poetry as long as she can remember, and gunnar who always knew he wanted to be a songwriter and has practiced & learned to do it well. will has none of this: not the writing skills or the practice digging up his emotions required to write songs. he's seen both of them churn out hits in a handful of days or less, while it takes him hours to get a single line of lyrics onto paper.

once he opens himself up to the possibility and struggle of songwriting, this isn't something that he lets stop him. there's definitely a battle with himself to get this point: early in his career he's offered a record deal with two different labels, one that will foster his creativity as an artist & one that is much larger and will get his name and face out there. he picks the larger, well established one, that will just throw him written songs to sing. he's afraid of his voice and is afraid he doesn't have anything people want to hear.

the process of opening up as a song-writer comes as he opens himself up to the world, too, and only happens as he starts to accept his sexuality & becomes willing to come out to the people around him. he won't ever be someone who sits down and immediately writes a song that bowls people over, but he works extremely hard for his music & it's something that he learns to be proud of himself for.

MISC HEADCANON : will lexington on songwriting ♡˚₊

[greenplumbboblover]

Simblr.cc

I made a website!

Now you've probably seen the attempt before, people getting mad at tumblr and then making a 'Simblr' (Tumblr clone). Though, despite tumblr being sometimes a bit frustrating because of their changes, that's not why this site came to be...

I wanted a place where Storytellers, Creators, and just generic sim players can all be together and get the exposure and fun that they deserve.

Not only that, but also for a place where the TSM community and TS1 can belong somewhere too without the use of a forum.

And eventually, I hope we can make it the home for Life by you and Paralives when that comes out :)

Plus, it's also NSFW friendly! While the site is initially PG-13, we've got tags and profile settings that allow you to browse NSFW items as well.

Simblr.cc:

Discord:

What can I find on Simblr.cc exactly?

Anything for all sims games, really! TS1, TS2, TS3, TS4 and TSM

Practically anything you technically can find on Tumblr and really other sim websites. We've got...

Mods

I've specifically made filters for different games, and their needs in mind. For example, for TS2 there are so many awesome game fixes out there and clean templates, that you'll be able to navigate and find this easily.

Not only that, items can also be put in multiple categories! Especially great if you've uploaded a set!

You can also find Testers wanted only mods here if you feel like helping out fellow simmers with testing!

NOTE:

Mods do go through a "queue", but not in the same way as you may have experienced on MTS or TSR. I merely check if it's flagged as NSFW correctly, and then it's good to go! :) So the waiting time will be much less!

See TOU: Click me!

Eventually, I may see if I can get a bypass system in place, but that really depends on if NSFW isn't too confusing.

Work In Progress

To show off your work to others! Even if it's project #94882 that may never get released, any WIPS are fine!

Stories

It's really difficult to find new Sim stories or Legacies on Tumblr, let alone for these writers to get people to read their awesome stories! Hopefully this should make the process much easier now!

Also! You got any comic or "movie/cinematic" like stories? No problem! Just check the "carousel only" option, so no description needed!

Feed

... and for the Simblrs here, a feed to see all the people you follow, their content (stories, WIPs, mods and general posts)! Or, simply check out sitewide, or even game-related, what people have been posting!

Customizable profile pages

Just like tumblr, you can make your own profile page! With it's own colours and a pre-made theme. (if you need a different profile page, though, Let us know on the discord)

Want a peek? Here you go:

What about moderation?

While there's a report system in place, and the items in the queue are checked for NSFW, but users could still turn their non-NSFW to a NSFW, items may be stolen. So do report these as that will never be condoned!

Additionally, all comments you get on your mods, story, etc. Those are primarily moderated by you. You can delete them, you can turn comments off even if you'd like. If things really go wrong, you can always ask an admin.

Got any ideas? Feel free to share!

Since I really wanted it to be a website we all create together in some degree, if you have any features you're missing or would like to see, feel free to share on the discord!

Where are the Advertisements?

If you're currently not seeing them as of reading the post, that's because that's still being set up. This is merely to cover the cost of the website! Though, I promise you I won't bombard the site with ads, as that's just annoying.

[professional-yearner]

Can't help falling in love with you 🤍 pt.2

Yandere! Cheater! Clone officer x reader

Series TW!: cheating, mistresses, grief, murder, Evil-ish, being trapped, toxic relationships, forced relationship, obsessive love, obsession, general insanity, manipulation, disloyalty, crybaby Mc, sensitive and a bit whimpy Mc

The waiting was agonizing.

You passed the time washing dishes at the sink, trying not to strain your ears for any sign of the door opening, for his boots scraping against the mat outside.

It couldn't be too far off by now, only a few minutes at most until he got home.

As if on queue, you heard boots coming up the complex stairs, which creaked under his weight.

The key turned in the lock and it felt like someone had drenched you in ice water and shoved you out into the hoth tundra. How were you going to do this?

You hadn't even been married a whole three years, but he had become one of the only people you talked to or saw regularly, you had almost forgotten how to move through the world without him.

Almost.

You'd had to relearn in the past few months with the distance he had put between the two of you. Been set adrift and panicked by someone who you loved, someone who was supposed to love you.

You shook your head, resolve finally breaking as you shook, letting out soft cries.

You didn't dare to look back at him, already picturing his vaguely surprised look at your obvious show of how you had felt all this time, but not sure you could take a confirmation of it.

"I can't do it." You whimpered, gripping the counter.

"Do what?" He asked simply, tone the gentlest you had heard it in a while, but wary.

"This, Steel, this is- bad! This hurts. We need to end this, now."

You turned to him, watching with exhausted resignation as his expression turned from confusion to shock.

"What?" He asked in a small voice, eyes now glued to you like they hadn't been in almost a year as you held yourself, leaning against the sink as you cried.

"I don't know why I've been holding onto this so hard when it's clear it's just… gone. I guess I just-"

You sobbed, losing any hold you had on your emotions.

"I just wanted you to keep loving me, because I love you so much, Steel! But I know I have to let you go now, I need to let you be happy, let us both be happy."

"Wait- Cyare, honey, what are you saying?" He took a step towards you, making you look directly at him, trying not to bawl as you choked out the words you had been preparing to say.

"We need a divorce, Steel. It's obvious you're not happy, I feel abandoned and alone- this marriage is hurting us- both of us."

He closed the distance between the two of you quickly, expression now panicked, much to your surprise. Nonetheless, you shied away when he reached out to touch your shoulder, "Hey, hey, hey, baby- who said I wasn't happy? You're being-"

"Please, Steel, I saw the messages."

You watched the color drain from his face.

"Sweetheart-"

You glared, ducking away from him and heading for the bedroom, "Don't call me that! Please! I'm trying to let you out! Please, stop talking to me like I'm stupid!"

He followed, "No- what are you-"

He stood in the doorway as you pulled you suitcase out of the closet, cursing yourself for bot packing earlier. Putting it on the bed, you slowly began to make your way through the dresser that you shared, placing some clothes in the main compartment.

"I'll stay with Effie while we get things sorted. The apartment was yours to begin with, so I'll- I don't know- I'll figure it out."

You gathered your stuffed animals from the shelves in a daze, dumping them gently in your laundry bag.

"I'll come back for the rest of my things as soon as I find a place, unless you want them out sooner, just- please don't throw anything away."

You could see his hands beginning to shake as you looked back to him for confirmation.

"What?" His voice was light, still seeming in complete disbelief.

You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you zipped the suitcase, struggling to get it off the bed.

"I want you to be happy, Steel, because I really do love you, and as much as I hate it, that can't be with me."

Not able to stand looking at him anymore, you pushed past him with your luggage, trying quiet your crying as you closed the door to the apartment.

Hailing a cab, you couldn't bare the sight of the complex enough to take a look back for fear of your resolve breaking.

-

You stared at the ring that sat on the nightstand, still hiccuping from your latest crying session since arriving at Effie's.

He had saved up his credits from various betting pools at the 79's to buy it, you had found out from his brothers. Of course, the shimmering diamonds that adorned it were fakes, but it was still a gorgeous ring, plus, you hadn't loved it for it's beauty.

You'd loved it because he had placed it on your finger that night in the backrooms of the 79's.

That thought process sent you into another round of sobbing, burying your face in the pillow beneath you so you didn't disrupt your friend in the other room.

You had even crying almost constantly since arriving at your friend's place. Luckily for the both of you, she worked a cushy advertising job, so there were no roommates to stare as you had collapsed into her, wailing and exhausted.

She'd had to escort you to her guest room just so she could cook dinner after a while, which you felt even more terrible about.

Since then, you had been going between crying and sleeping, barely able to keep track of which you were doing at the moment.

Despite your efforts to keep quiet, the door opened anyways, revealing the worried and lovely face of your friend, Effie.

"Hey, honey." She said, pushing the door open more with her hip. You saw now that she had a tray with her. A steaming microwave meal and glass of blue milk lay next to eachother, looking the most unappetizing you had ever seen something edible look.

You must've been making a face, because her frown only deepened.

"Come on, babe, you need to eat." She urged, placing the tray on the side table and sitting by your feet.

You nodded, guilt twisting along with the grief in your gut, "I'm sorry, I'm trying, it's just-"

You sniffed, embarrassed that you were crying again, 

"Hard."

She nodded sympathetically, squeezing your ankle over the covers.

"I know, I'll get you more of that anti-nausea stuff soon, you said that helps a little?"

You nodded again, giving her a weak, but genuine, smile, 

"Thank you, babe."

Fiddling with your hands, you mumbled, "I know you don't have to be doing this, so thank you, again."

She smiled slightly at that, bumping her shoulder with yours playfully, "Maybe not, but remember how you took care of me when I finally broke up with Hertz? How could I not do the same for my best girl?"

You snorted, a bit of humor slipping it's way into your tone, "I still don't know how you were so hung up on someone who looked like that!"

"He was very sweet when he wanted to be!" The Rodian pushed you softly in mock offense, laughing.

"He drooled!" You exclaimed, making her laugh harder.

Slowly, her laughter faded until she was just smiling softly at you.

"You know I love you." She took your hand, squeezing it, "Please just let me know if you need anything, you're not a burden."

At this, your eyes welled with new tears. It was impressive how the woman almost always knew what you needed to hear.

"Thank you, Effie." You sniffed, squeezing her hand in return and allowing her to pull you into a hug.

As you held eachother you felt that, if you had people like her in your life, maybe, maybe, you would make it through this.

[strangewonderful]

somewhere they won't get swarmed by police. that sounds amenable. "okay." the word is a soft admission, andie still a little too dazed behind the eyes as she looks up at the green goblin. she extends a hand up towards him in what is a gesture for help up. it's done without much thinking, forgetting for a moment that she's a hero and he's a villain. or maybe just not caring. not when she hasn't been knocked around so much that she couldn't stand up on her own, but a steady hand would be nice right now anyway. and she's always thought the green goblin to be steady.

pushing to her feet leaves her at kind of a loss, looking at the green goblin expectantly. the last time she'd been captured by him she'd been unconscious the entire time and then woken up in an abandoned building and strapped to a table like a damsel in an old halloween movie. it's never been like this before. and yet, she wants to go with him. "what now?" she asks simply, limbs loose at her side.

The thought trails off, and he doesn't know if it's a matter of her being aware enough to still keep her secrets -for this is a secret or a new ability, he's heard nothing of this before- or just whatever she's done having been as bad are the hit... or the hit alone. And it was not a small hit, for all he's starting to put two and two together, and he doubts the wall is what's special right there.

Where are they going, she asks, however... and he does have some ideas in mind. Not the same lab as the last time, of course, even dizzy as she is she'd recognize it, but he does have several places. And some of them will even keep her safe until she's recovered, once he has what he wants.

"Somewhere we're not going to get swarmed by concerned neighbors or the police." He tells her. Offers her, because if she agrees, guilty as he feels for asking in her state? It'll be so, so much easier. And it'll mean he can make sure one of the kinder heroes, selfish as his interest may be, does not get killed by some opportunist.

[strangewonderful]

ALL MY STORIES ARE ABOUT BEING LEFT, ALL YOURS ARE ABOUT LEAVING. SO WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN : andie eliot & liam kaz (@arachnidiots) ♡˚₊

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 18 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad + updated till chap 27

FLORIDA VERSUS TOUR SHOW (meeting)(plot is plotting)

Matt🍂

[2 attachments]

Hey, here are the tickets

I hope you'll have a great time tomorrow :)

Thank you so much<3

I'll never forget this fr

I'll repay you one day

And thank your cousin also

You can repay me by not hating me when you discover the truth…

Unsent

No worries

And yeah, I'll tell her it did end up useful for someone else

I'll try to take good pics for her!

That's very nice of you, can't wait to see them if they're as good as those you take of the world

“Damn you're so adorable Lily”, Alex said as she was reading the texts above her friend's shoulder.

“Well, it's thanks to a fellow fan that we can see the triplets again, so anything for her now!”

“No but for real, that was so sweet of Matt's cousin to give them out”. Alex side hugged Lily to show appreciation. “I really can't wait to meet them again”.

“Yeah same”, Lily agreed.

Thinking back to how everything happened so quickly, Lily was glad to have been able to trust her online friend. She knew she had every right to be weary of this, but she also wanted it to be true – which she believed to be. She didn't know how she could ever repay the favour to Matt, but she was set on finding something for him one day. Maybe this is a good situation to write that letter for him, he deserved it already but now even more… Lily thought as she smiled at her idea. Although they had never talked about it, Lily suddenly wished to meet Matt. She felt like their friendship was getting to a point where they could actually enjoy each other's presence in real life – they had called a few more times since they played Fortnite together a couple months ago but had never facetimed. None of them knew what the other looked like, but them being friends was solely based on their personalities and common ground so it didn't matter much. However, Lily's wish for an eventual meeting would happen sooner than she'd ever expect thanks to someone who wasn't as impatient – and it could even be said it had already happened though none of them was aware of it.

A day later and the two best friends found themselves in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Completely off plan – they had indeed wanted to go back to Spring Hill today but fate had it otherwise, Alex and Lily were now on the Southeast Coast. The weather was lovely as the girls parked near the venue. They hadn’t gone to their hotel yet but Matt – Alex had learnt from Lily – had apparently been kind enough to book a room for them not far from where the venue was, “an apology for this last minute plan” Lily had said. Obviously, Lily had refused to let him pay so Matt had only put his card for a refundable deposit and Lily would pay for the room when she and Alex would leave the city. As it was Sunday, the girls had decided that they would stay until Tuesday at most – they had been gone for a week and although Lucas and Jade didn’t mind being alone at the café, Lily and Alex felt bad that they were leaving them for so long. They were also missing their cat a lot, but would never tell their friend that their fake child counted more.

This was now it, the final show of the Versus Tour where Alex and Lily would be once again part of the wonderful atmosphere that were the Sturniolo Triplets’ shows. They had arrived later than they did for the other shows as they didn’t have the small talk nor the group pictures included in their tickets. This didn’t bother the girls though as they were simply ecstatic at the idea of seeing Nick, Matt and Chris for the fourth time. They saw that not many people were left outside as most of them were already inside the venue for the extras that were happening before the show. When they approached the queue, Lily unlocked her phone to get the tickets ready to be scanned. This was the moment of truth: had Matt scammed her or not? Damn, I hope not because I like the kid… Lily thought as it was their turn to enter the venue. When the security guard scanned the tickets, he let out a confused face – though unnoticed by the girls with how quick he composed himself – until he confirmed the names on his list and knew that what he was seeing was not a mistake. 

      Indeed, the tickets that Matt – Laura actually – had custom made for Lily were not meant to exist because they had never sold any GA tickets with only the backstage pass as an extra. The security guard eventually let the girls enter and as he signalled to someone else to take his place to scan the next people, he quickly went inside through another door where he knew that he could find who he was looking for. Fortunately, he was able to find her rapidly enough. He called Laura who was overseeing that the group pictures were going well and told her about the two girls he had checked in a couple of minutes ago. Thanking the man before he went back outside, Laura waited until everyone had gotten their pictures taken – luckily it was almost the end – and as she walked the triplets to the stage where they would soon be on for their show, she notified them about the girls who had arrived. Hearing this, Matt let out a sigh of relief he never knew he was holding and his two brothers patted him on the back to comfort him. She’s here, Matt thought. I’m actually gonna meet her, damn… The stress started getting to him and he knew he wouldn’t be able to relax until he saw that she was here with his own eyes. When they arrived on the side of the stage, the triplets found a small space behind the curtains where they could look at the crowd without being noticed.

“Do we even know who we’re looking for?” Chris asked as he had no idea which team colour the girls were supporting today.

“Well, she’s Matt’s girl so probably blue.” Nick replied as he tried to recognize the girl with whom he had gotten along a few days prior.

“Not my girlfriend…” Matt mumbled. “And she doesn’t even know that she’s here for me so I actually can’t say who she’s rooting for today.”

“I mean– I think I had told her to come in orange last time we saw her but I guess we can each look for our team colours when we’re on stage”, Chris suggested. “We might see better with the lights above us.”

“Good idea, let’s not be too obvious though.” Nick warned. It was now time for them to go on stage and start the show so he gave the final instructions. “We’re mainly searching in the last rows because she had General Admission; a brunette with possibly animals painted on her face accompanied with a blonde girl who’s most certainly in orange as she supported Chris in my memories. And remember, BE. DIS–CREET.”

Matt and Chris nodded as they understood their task. They would never jeopardise their last show but it wouldn’t hurt to confirm that their guests were here as they were literally in front of the crowd where said guests were. Hugging each other, the triplets were now ready to go on stage for the last time of their tour. It had been such a wonderful experience for them and they had found a way to make this last show even more special thanks to the partners they had chosen. Indeed, as their family and friends were present, the triplets had invited three of them to share the stage with them and it was now time to get them on as they were being introduced after the popular vote had happened – Matt won again, what a surprise!

The three teammates were therefore the triplets’ brother Justin, their best friend Nathan – or Nate – and their friend Tril who had travelled with them for a couple of shows to sing at the end. Nick then announced that the three would each pull from a box a friendship bracelet based on one of the teams in order to decide who they were going to partner with. After they all took out a bracelet, Nick made them reveal at the same time and the result was Nathan on team blue with Matt, Tril on team orange with Chris and finally Justin on team purple with Nick.

As usual, the first game was the painting competition which Nate had won, thus granting a second point to Matt’s team blue sharks. The next game was called Saved by the Bell where the teams would answer trivia questions. From the age required to enter the Hunger Games – twelve years old – to the number of moons Mars had – two, the three teams had to answer several chaotic other questions such as the temperature at which water freezes – 0°C or 32°F for y’all weird Americans – or the number of elements in the Periodic Table – a hundred and eighteen. They were now playing the third game which was called We’re Playing Basketball and thanks to Tril, Chris’s team orange deers was now in the lead before the fourth and last game that was Jenga Showdown started. Matt and Nate were closely behind and the Jenga game that Matt had lost a handful would be decisive. Indeed, the loser would have five points removed from his score, which is why it was essential for Matt to not lose again.

Back to our two girls in the crowd, they had been enjoying every minute of this last show. Per Chris’s request, Lily had showed up with an orange tank top and deers drawn on her face by Alex, who was also wearing orange. Although Alex would be over the moon if Chris won this show and therefore the whole tour, Lily was actually awaiting his defeat as she was really curious regarding the tiebreaker that would decide the winner between Chris and Matt as Nick announced that he had a great one planned already. Only time would tell and it wouldn’t be too much waiting as the game finally began. The tension was slowly building in the venue along the Jenga tower. After what was unusually long compared to other shows, the tower eventually collapsed when it was Nate’s turn, thus making Matt’s team lose five out of his nine points. Matt’s loss thus meant Chris’s victory of not only the show but of the entire tour, which sent the crowd in a frenzy as everyone was screaming – one part was actually cheering on the youngest brother while the other was just screaming for fun as one does during a concert whenever the artist on stage does something as simple as breathing.

Now that the show was ending, each team received their medals and as the lights were on, Matt took that as an opportunity to check the crowd for a certain face. He tried to make his brain work its hardest ever and searched for a smiling brunette of whom he had a faint memory. As he stilled for a second, Matt thought he had seen her and when he tried to keep looking at the back of the venue for this particular person, he was nudged by his friend Nate who made him notice that he would end up seeming weird on stage. Nate and the two other teammates did know why Matt had spent a couple of times during the show simply watching the crowd – they had been notified along with the triplets’ parents about Matt’s chaotic plan – and so their role had been to prevent each of the triplets to creepingly stare at the fans too much. Finally, the coronation ceremony happened and Chris received the Versus Tour trophy before everyone left the stage for Tril’s last mini concert.

Unbeknownst to them, Alex and Lily were being observed by three similar-looking people who were watching the fans until they recognised those they were searching for. The show had been over for a little while and so the two girls were currently waiting in the queue leading to backstage as the tickets they had been given by Matt allowed them to meet the triplets after the show. Although they had been trusting Matt, they were still relieved to get the confirmation that they indeed had access backstage when they had first entered the venue a few hours earlier – though it was Laura who had notified the staff beforehand that those two specific girls had a “special treatment” due the ticket combo that wasn't supposed to exist.

As the girls were simply talking about the fact that Chris had won the show and therefore the tour – which Alex was over the moon about, her being a Chris girl, they didn't notice someone from security coming towards them. Exchanging a glance of uncertainty, Lily and Alex were surprised that the bodyguard was asking them to follow him somewhere else in the venue. Questions raised in the girls’ minds but they complied and went with the man. They didn’t understand at first and were just confused that they were being dragged out from the queue.

“What the fuck is happening?” Alex whispered to Lily as they were still walking in the corridors of the venue.

“I DON'T KNOW!” Lily whisper-yelled to Alex. “It's scaring me, like have we been scammed?”

“I hope not bro, they’ll probably give us an explanation.”

Lily agreed and a couple of minutes later, the two girls found themselves in a huge room with several couches and drinks on a table. They got told to stay here until someone would come back for them later. They both were so stressed and although they had snacks as well as beverages to pass the time, Lily and Alex were shitting themselves.

~~~

Half an hour later and the girls were still alone in the room. While they had been wondering about what was going to happen to them – their assumptions were being killed or abducted, the actual backstage was close to being over. Due to confusion still being present, Alex had suggested the first good idea of the evening and told Lily to text Matt.

“Damn, we should've thought about that earlier. I hope bro has a good explanation!”

Matt🍂

Hey Matt, please can you tell me what's going on bc Alex and I have been waiting for so long. We don't know what's happening and it's kinda scary so if you could text me back and explain wtf your cousin was supposed to do at the show, that would be nice

Lily was hoping that although Matt wasn't the one initially going to the show, he could still give her an explanation as to what was going to happen to them. However, as soon as Lily hit ‘send’ on her text, she and Alex heard a notification sound in the same room. This clearly raised more confusion in the girls’ minds. They thought it was a coincidence but were still suspicious of the fact that someone's phone received a message right as Lily had sent hers. As if it couldn’t get worse, the door suddenly opened and three people casually walked in.

“Honestly, it's such a Matt thing to forget his phone on the other side of the venue.” The voice of a man could be heard. “Don't think we needed to immediately bring it to him though.”

“You have to understand him sweetie,” a woman replied to him. “He's really nervous about today even though we spent a while reassuring him before the show. And he might need it to text his friend. I don't know, it might be useful.”

A second man agreed with the woman while Alex and Lily were watching the scene with widened eyes. They couldn't believe what they were seeing: the triplets’ parents, Mary Lou and Jimmy, as well as their brother Justin were currently standing in front of them. As the woman noticed the girls, she stopped talking and nudged her husband then her oldest son to make them notice.

“Hi there!” Mary Lou said with the nicest tone. “You must be my son's friends, right?”

“Wha–” Lily was the first to reply as she had no idea what was going on.

Seeing their confusion, Justin quickly understood that the timing had been completely off.

“Mum, I think we might be early…”

“Oh god!” Mary Lou exclaimed in surprise. “He told us he would notify you before we arrived.”

“I'm sorry, but…” Alex took Lily's place in wanting to know the truth as the brunette was now lost. “Who was supposed to notify us of what?”

“OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?” The voice of a young man yelled as he ran into the room and started rambling. “Dad came to get me. Damn, I leave you guys for an hour and you can't wait ten more minutes. Fuck, sorry I shouldn't curse at you and I know I said that thing about my phone but I was about to come get it and now–”

Matt stopped talking as he turned to face the two confused girls still sitting on the couch. His dad, Jimmy, had left his wife and first son to try finding Matt before the situation would get more chaotic than it already was. He had stumbled upon Matt, Nick and Chris who were coming back from backstage as the show was definitely over, which led to the middle triplet running to the room his dad was coming from as he started panicking as soon as Jimmy had explained what was happening a few corridors away.

“Hey,” Matt said to the girls with a soft voice to not frighten them. His gaze was mostly on Lily before he spotted his phone and unlocked it. “Oh, you texted. Sorry for the confusion, I swear I can explain everything.”

What the actual– the fuck he means? Lily wondered. I texted? Like– I'm so fucking lost… She tore her eyes away from Matt as she saw Chris, Nick and Jimmy entering the room then going to stand next to Matt who was trying to calm down.

“Ok so… I know you must both be very sceptical about everything but please listen to me.” Matt almost pleaded as he was scared of how Alex and Lily would react. “Hmm, well… Hi, I'm Matt.”

As he said his last sentence with a small wave, the girls were still not understanding.

“Yeah, we know that”. Lily replied with a nervous laugh. “That's why we came to see y'all I guess.”

“No yeah, sorry. I mean like– Matt, your Matt?” He sounded almost unsure as he saw that Lily was still not completely getting it. He then had an idea and went to his conversation with Lily to show her what he meant. “Wait a second…”

Matt quickly typed a message and sent it to Lily, which made her phone's screen light up.

Matt🍂

Hey, please don't hate me

Both Lily and Alex looked down to read the message, the latter almost having a light bulb appearing above her head.

“Oh fuck I should've known! I knew it!” Alex semi-shouted.

It's true that the blonde had had suspicions a couple of times when Lily had told her that she was texting a guy named Matt who liked Pokemon, Fortnite and had several brothers. They were probably a thousand guys on Earth like that but at that time, it had been the only Matt she could think about.

“Oh…” Lily finally knew what he meant. “Oh… I was absolutely not expecting that.”

“Yeah…” Matt was still afraid of what would happen next. “If that's ok, I just want to properly do introductions?”

Lily nodded as she and Matt were still holding eye contact for the past several minutes. When the girls both stood up and approached the Sturniolo family, Matt got even more nervous and Nick took that as his cue to take charge of the situation.

“Hey, Nicolas here but call me Nick! So we have Matt obviously and Chris who you both know, I mean we all met but let's reset everything. Then it should've been later but improv I guess so I want you guys to meet our mum Mary Lou, our dad Jimmy and our brother Justin.”

“Hi, I'm Alex.” The blonde said as she could feel her best friend was in a sort of shocked state. “This is Lily, my best friend and Matt's friend then?”

Everyone nodded and as an awkward silence was almost forming, Mary Lou let her bubbly personality shine to brighten the mood.

“Okay boys, why don't we just relax and enjoy the snack while getting to know those lovely ladies? Matt darling, go talk with your brothers as I take your nice friend with me. You guys will have all the time in the world later on.”

Mary Lou walked towards Lily and gently grabbed her arm to then go sit on another couch in the room, further away from everyone else. The rest of them scattered in the room as Chris decided to join Alex – they had gotten along well the few times they had seen each other – while the other brothers stood with their dad and chose to pour themselves some drinks.

While Alex was talking with Chris and reminiscing about their victory together, Lily found herself in a conversation with Mary Lou whom she thought was the sweetest woman ever. After Matt, well Nick in all honesty, had introduced her to his mum – a bold move from him to have her meet him AND his whole family at the same time, Mary Lou immediately shooed her son away as she wanted to properly get to know his new friend. This is why Matt was currently with his brothers Justin and Nick. The two oldest were discussing what they could do the next day around the city, which Matt was half listening to as he was stressed regarding what his mum and friend – friend? Acquaintance? More than that? Less? Yeah, friend is good – were talking about. However, as he dared to glance in their direction, Matt found Lily's eyes already on him. She quickly diverted her gaze back to Mary Lou but as she still felt observed, Lily looked back to Matt. They then shared a soft smile across the room and as if it was magic, both were suddenly feeling at ease and fell back to their respective conversation. They'd only had a two second interaction as the Matt and Lily they both knew, but it was like they were turning back into their usual selves when they would text each other.

“You do know you guys are kinda obvious, right?” Justin asked his younger brother.

“Wha– what do you mean?” Matt was confused, although he somehow already knew what this was about.

“Matt come on”, Nick sighed as he dragged out his brother's name's vowel. “I'm pretty sure you didn't listen to what we've been saying because you're only thinking about her.”

“And looking at her like a lost puppy”, Justin added. “She should be the one panicking, yet here you are.”

“I don't look at Lily like a lost puppy…” Matt mumbled. “Just making sure Mum isn't overwhelming her. Can't believe she gets to talk to her before me, she's my friend!”

“A friend who probably made her live the most stressful experience ever,” Nick retorted. “I think today was confusing for everyone so let her breathe for a minute and you can go talk to her after.”

Matt and Justin agreed with the blonde, then tried to trust their mum to make Lily feel better.

Speaking of the devil, the girl was actually enjoying her conversation with Mary Lou, who was telling her about Boston life.

“It sounds great, I hope to go there one day.”

“Maybe if my son keeps you in his life – which I would be glad about, you'll have the opportunity to travel there”. Mary Lou said as she put on her kindest smile.

“Yeah, I hope he does too.” Lily replied with some awkwardness in her voice. “It's still weird to me that he was the one I was texting this whole time, but I really want us to become friends in person now. Not that I want to take advantage of him simply because I know who he actually is of course, please don't think bad of me! But, I–”

“No worries my dear, if Matt trusted you enough to reveal himself to you, then I trust you as well”. The woman reassured the girl sitting next to her. “He's a good boy, so please take care of him.”

“I– yeah I will, I'll do my best to make this friendship work”.

The two exchanged a smile and kept talking about their respective lives: Mary Lou telling Lily about her and Jimmy while Lily told Mary Lou about the café she was working at with Alex.

They had been talking for a good dozen of minutes until Matt – who had been motivated by his brothers – finally decided to join them.

“Hi”, he waved again at Lily – seems like it was his current go-to move when feeling nervous. “Mum, I'm gonna steal her from you – if that's ok with you Lily obviously – because we need to talk now.”

Mary Lou kindly agreed and nudged Lily to stand up. As the girl was expecting the conversation to start now, she was actually surprised when Matt asked her to follow him outside. They both left the room under everyone’s curious stare and Matt took her elsewhere in the venue in order to be far enough for anyone who could walk by. When he found what seemed like a good spot, Matt looked back at Lily to silently ask her if it was ok. As she nodded, he opened the door and they were now on a balcony that was overlooking the parking lot behind the venue.

“Sorry, it looks kinda sketchy but I'll feel better with some fresh air.”

“No yeah, I get it.” Lily agreed with Matt. “I think I needed it too.”

“So…” Matt started as he was fidgeting while leaning on the railing.

“Yep…” Lily whispered as she was doing the same awkward movements.

None of them felt like holding eye contact as they were both extremely nervous. Knowing that he was responsible for all of this, Matt eventually started talking:

“Ok first, I have to apologise for everything. I put you in a very uncomfortable situation and it was a shit move.”

“It's okay… Well it was not completely ok but I understand where you come from so I can forgive you.” Lily smiled at Matt as she was feeling less awkward now that they were actually talking about it. “Never forgive you for not liking sushi though.”

“Damn,” Matt let out a laugh at that. “Can't believe you still hold that against me.”

“Yep, always I guess…” Lily chuckled too and let a now semi-comfortable silence start until she interrupted it with the most important question. “How long have you known?”

“Hmm?”

“Since when have you known it was me like– I was me?”

“Oh, well… when you posted those pictures,” Matt explained. “I was ninety-nine percent sure of you coming to our shows and the last percent was when I texted you.”

“Ok ok,” Lily nodded. “And your first reflex was to make me come to another one?”

“It seems weird but yeah actually,” Matt confirmed as he was actually surprised of himself being so honest. “I was a bit in denial at first because it felt crazy that the person I'm texting is literally a fan – although you are my friend first and foremost – but when I talked about it to Nick and Chris, the first thing that popped into my brain when we agreed that you were Lily was that I needed to meet you again, but properly this time.”

“I'm glad you thought that because I wanted us to eventually meet and I'm happy it's you.”

“Yeah?” Matt asked as he felt relieved that Lily wasn't hating him.

“Yeah, it's just sooner than expected but in a good way. I'm grateful for our friendship Matt.”

“I'm grateful for that too Lily.” Matt had a soft smile on his face. “You wanna meet my other friends/come see everyone else now?”

“Hmm,” Lily hesitated. “Can we stay here a bit longer? Just the two of us…?”

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed. “We can do that, fine by me.”

Basking in the silence, the two newly acquainted friends were enjoying this moment of peace. It would be the first one of many, but for now, it felt like a necessity to take their time as they were now slowly starting to navigate their friendship.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[high-functioning-fang1rl]

Well today has been…less than stellar. So dissociating into fandom is definitely called for!!! These come from my script so I might be biased, but here we go!

How Nica Pierce would cheer you up if you had a bad day:

💙 For starters, she can tell right away. One look at your face and she’s immediately on red alert.

💙 At the beginning she’d ask what was wrong/how she can help. But once she knows you well enough she doesn’t say a word, she simply clears her calendar to stick around.

💙 If you’re crying she LAUNCHES into attack mode: “Who.” You may want to answer wisely, because if you give details there would absolutely be consequences for whoever upset you.

💙 Nica gets extra clingy when you’re upset; she pretends she doesn’t know you’re the one who needs the comfort but she gives ALL. THE. HUGS.

💙 immediately she makes plans to either order/make your favorite dinner. There’s no way you’re not getting your favorite treats when you feel crappy.

💙 She doesn’t leave Mama Bear mode the whole night; even if you don’t want to talk about it, she’ll be checking on you frequently and when she finally gets you alone/comfortable she will ask “Do you wanna talk about it?”

💙 Whatever your preferred method of self care is will be supplied by her: Are you a bath person? It’s drawn and ready. Wanna watch your favorite show/movie? It’s in the queue. Need to be active/get out? I’ve got the keys whose car are we taking? She pays attention and knows what you need- wordlessly she’ll provide it so you can just decompress/breathe.

💙 Any obligations/duties you had are taken care of. Put everything out of your head except what you need to feel better: she’s got it.

💙 She will make you laugh- whether it’s dark humor, sarcasm, or just reminiscing to better times, she’ll make sure to add some humor to the situation.

💙 She’s the QUEEN of pep talks. It must be the mothering instinct, but she knows exactly what to say and knows when to say it. She’ll wait until you’re ready for advice and just listen until you’re ready.

💙She’ll never let you feel alone.

[doiesfav]

✧. ┊ Starlight - Xiaojun ||

Pairing: Xiaojun x fem!Reader

Plot: (fwb) You and your friends went to the amusement park to celebrate finishing your first year in college.

Genre: Short story, love at first sight, non idol AU, strangers to lovers, fluff.

Contains: cursing, childhood memories, kissing, ferris wheel, fireworks..

1k+ word count

MASTERLIST

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

(y/n pov)

Finishing your first year at college is surprisingly very rewarding, studying for almost 16 years just to study another 4 years to get a job. And of course like every other person, I would like to celebrate it.

My group of friends (5 including me) were discussing about how we should celebrate it. ''Why don't we go drinking?'' but none of us agreed since it was to ordinary. ''Sky diving?'' firstly, where the fuck do you sign to go sky diving, also, probably some of us would shit ourselves while doing it.

''Let's just simply go to an amusement park'' and we all agreed. Going there is an affortable, simple and enjoyable activity. We were so excited to that day to come, it has been a very long time since I went to one.

I remember when I was 6 years old telling my mom that I would take my future boyfriend here. It was like an untalked tradition in our family. Someone in our family would go to an amusement park and meet their soulmate, that's how my parents, grandparents and more meet.

I made sure to be prepared very well, so I was already trying on new clothes i bought yesterday. It was a denim mini skirt with a cute cropped black top covered by a racing jacket.

We were meeting by 8pm at the entrance, I came the first so obviously I had to wait for them. Watching all these people around me made my heart warm, it was as if I became a kid again.

As soon as they arrived we went to different rides and games, it felt so nostalgic so I knew I had to go to my all time favourite ride. The ferris wheel, I loved being at the top of it while holding my smalls hands with my parents.

Now that I grew up, I had to go, not with my parents but with my friends who I admire a lot. We helped eachother's struggles, sadness and shared happiness since highschool.

When we arrived there, the long queue felt like it was never gonna end. Even buying the tickets was taking too long, so to save up time 4 people were at the queue while I went to buy tickets.

Suddenly a boy behind me tapped my shoulder nervously, ''excuse me, your skirt still has the tag on'' I looked at his face (not gonna lie, I felt like I stared at him for 10 minutes) then analyzed his blonde almost golden hair when I snapped out of it and reacted.

''Oh my god, thank you, I haven't noticed'' I laughed nervously and turning my head down covering up my red blushed face trying to cut the tag, ''don't worry, can you cut it off?'' he put his hand on the hair offering his help.

''No thanks it's okay, I can do it by myself'' I gave him a smile to cover up the embarrasment, when I finally broke the tag I said thanks and just then it was finally my turn to buy the ticket. ''5 tickets please'' I quickly payed and waved to say goodbye to the blonde guy.

Searching for me friends was difficult but then I captured them almost at the front of the line. ''Girl why is your face all red'' they all started asking questions but I just answered ''no just nothing'' trying to not blush harder.

''Hey we meet again'' I slowly turned around praying it was the guy from before, and it was ''oh hey, guess I should have expected this'' I laughed it off with an akward smile. ''Oh so you are that guy'' my friends also giggled.

Just in time it was our turn to enter the cabins, not knowing they had changed it to two person maximum to make more cabins but less people in there, of course the size of it was smaller like this. Then I realised someone had to be alone with a stranger, our heads turned at the same time facing each other.

''I don't care if I go alone'' but that was the same thing we all said. But before I volunteered to do it the recognisable voice that made me blush spoke up. ''I can go with you'' I turned around and found him with his arm wrapping my shoulder.

Of course I had to agree, I mean he was like a dream. So my friends started to get in pairs and when it was our turn to enter he winked at me ''ladies first''.

I sat down and saw 6 more man cheering him when the staff closed the door I heard ''YOU GOT IT RIZZER'' from one of those guys. ''sorry If they are making you feel uncomfortable, I'll later kick their ass or something'' we both laughed ''no don't worry is okay'' I said nervously.

We were both facing eachothers face and I could see him getting nervous aswell. ''Sooo, what's your name?'' I broke the akward silence, ''Dejun, or Xiaojun as you want haha'' 'beautiful name really, mine is y/n by the way, basic right?'' I laughed akwardly.

''Could I get your number?'' I shaked my head inmediatly and gave him my phone, when he returned it I saw the name ''Junnie🦖'' saved. I laughed ''you really give vibes of a t-rex''.

The air between us wasn't an akward anymore but rather a loveful (a/n: wtf) one. We both knew the conextion was special and the silence was melodically great.

Minutes passed and we kept getting to know each other until he asked me:

''Can I kiss you?'' At that moment butterflies were in my stomach and my heart beated like crazy. I slowly approached him putting my arms onto his shoulders trying not to give him a lot of weight.

My head slowly got closer when one of his hands was pulling a strand of hair behind my ear which was covering part of my face. Then Xiaojun carefully placed his hand on my jawline, and our lips touched.

It was my very first kiss and I think he could hear my heart beating like crazy. Then we had to break that kiss because of the fireworks, we laughed it off to not seem akward and stared at the fireworks.

Those were lovely and I could fell in love with it. ''Did you know it was my first kiss?'' XIaojun's eye wide opened and giggled while saying ''oh my bad hahaha, as long as you liked it'' Then I pulled in closer for a second one, this kiss he was leading it making it more passionately.

I didn't have any experiences before so I just followed his doings, we kept going until we were both out of breath and just in time our ride ended. We both separated our bodies quickly but wishing for more, ''text me anytime'' he said before separating our path. I winked at him this time.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

This is my first ever story so I hope y'all like it <3 (sorry if there's any mistake!)

[strangewonderful]

henry's face is only so familiar, considering how much they're both growing all the time, but he's familiar none the less. he smiles the same. always a little like the cat that got the mouse. considering her present—maybe he has.

she means to guide him right back outside into the sunshine and close-quarters of the town. had it still been her birthday, the air would be too still and frigid for an excursion, but now the warmth is starting to curl her fingers around the great heights of their kingdom and encourage new growth out of the ground. the skirts of her dress kicking up with every step, she guides them

"well, now i have to hear about this carriage incident."   she tilts a soft, almost teasing, smile his way. henry has always been an adventure magnet—a good thing, when it brings him so much joy. his wicked laugh at the success of a near-scrap with danger will always be the thing that she remembers most clearly about him. how he would come alive with mischief in these halls. of course he hasn't ever lost that penchant in all these years.   "even if it's just a story."

  He's got that ability. Never quite when or where or what people expect, even if he's not that far off, and a smile that knows it. She returns that surprise by hugging him right off. It's been a fair while since his last visit, and the honest truth is that he hadn't been sure how much change might have passed between them, as it seemed inclined to do while they were parted. For now he suspects it isn't between them at all. Not unless he puts it there. So of course his laugh is breezy, delighted to know they are, one way or another, still the light-drenched children who ran though these halls.

  “Does it, then? I shall have to remember to bribe you more often.” The only jest he manages before she tucks her arm in his and leads him off the trail of it. Shirking schedule suits him happily.

  “I'm afraid there's not much to tell,” he laments as they promenade — tragedy of all tragedies, the journey was easy. “Fair weather, wind in our favor all the way to the coast. No trouble on the road, either. Any rumors you hear of the carriage incident at Imber are entirely fabricated.”

[vermilliondevth]

I have been reflecting on myself and the past few years and how heartbreak has changed me. For the past week, I have been in constant communication with Immigration and my employer because my employer does not believe that I have the right to work and stay in this country due to going through a divorce recently. I have showcased proof, and immigration itself confirmed to me a couple of times that my Visa has not been affected, but until my employer has it all in writing, I won't be able to go back to work. So I am again in a queue waiting for someone to provide a solution to this issue so I can end this misunderstanding once and for all. There was a moment in time when issues of this calibre would affect me - I would cry endlessly and would have to spend several days in complete solitude to process my emotions and to gain the strength to "fight" back. When my employer sat down with me and broke the news, I didn't flinch. She asked me several times if I was okay since it was odd that I had a calm demeanour. I still haven't cried about this issue - it is as if my heart was set that if this is what is meant for me, it will be, and if it isn't, it simply isn't. Life has shown me in so many different ways how two things can be true at once - how pain can lead to the betterment of your existence if you let it help you expand through it. How you can love a person unconditionally and devote yourself entirely to them, but the incompatibilities can be much more palpable than the desire to put in the hard work to make love last. The only way to appreciate joy is to know pain and vice versa. I have become so acquainted with reality that now, it is much harder for me to express how I truly feel to others freely - although this reassures me that I can handle things on my own now. It does not take away the fact that deep down inside, I wish I could be cradled in someone's arms to feel like I am not completely alone, but I am well aware that the depths of my internal experience could never be fully healed by just an embrace alone, or understood by someone who has never truly embraced another. The truth is - for me to become a flower in full bloom and display my true nature to others, I need to make sure that the other can handle my intensity and is willing to have open communication with me, in a way where we can establish trust and transparency and manage to solve problems head-on. If I do not feel that there is a sense of nurturance and acceptance in the room and that the other accepts the fact that I can be simultaneously assertive and gentle while showcasing my truest emotions, there is just no way I can open my heart and share myself. I will keep everything hidden and independently move along, regardless of how much it hurts my inner, soft nature.

It has been years since I've been able to feel this level of safety, which forces me to remain stoic and only present my impenetrating shell to the outer world. But this is what I must do to conserve the sanity I have trained myself to maintain. Life is a game where you must prove how well you can survive, and at this very moment, I am giving whatever it takes to fight for my life.

[alltflyter]

I've been thinking about the pandemic today.

I think this was maybe November or December 2020. I was working two jobs at the time: in the preschools and in an elderly home. Every surface needed to be sanitized, all the time. I reeked of alcohol, all the time. The skin on my hands was dry and cracking, all the time.

The preschools had a zero tolerance policy for symptoms in the kids and enforcing it was a sisyphean task.

This particular time I was alone for most of the day at the preschool-unit. Two of my co-workers had symptoms and there simply weren't enough of us stand-ins to fill their spots, so I was in charge of about ten kids by myself. Wash, sanitize. Once again, one of them was clearly ill: the little fellow was coughing miserably. I had to call his dad and ask him to pick him up. Did you know that phones are one of the most unsanitary surfaces you will come into contact with on any given day? Wash, sanitize.

He arrived angry, arguing. He couldn't afford this, he had a job to take care of. I wasn't patient enough. I couldn't extend my sympathy to him, I had ten kids to take care of. I said something passive aggressive. He yelled at me, really startled me, his kid, and a couple of the other children. Then he started crying and apologized. He comforted his kid, I comforted mine, and we sat there for a while on a bench in the cloakroom. I apologized, he left. I washed my hands again.

After my day at the preschool was over I had just about enough time to buy and eat dinner. Wash, sanitize. I stood in the queue, mask on of course, two metres apart. It was hot inside, I was still covered in my winter outerwear, sweating. The cashier scanned my dinner. Don't know if I remember exactly what it was, probably a sallad of some kind. As I walked out of the store, my phone rang. Trying to pick it up from my bag I stopped abruptly. Somebody walked into me, apologized, and walked past. I thought: what if I just disabled her for life? What if I just murdered her mom? I let my grandmother's call ring out and go to voicemail. Sanitize, wash my hands, sanitize. Then I ate my sallad.

I came to the elderly home for the night shift. Wash, sanitize, new mask, screen, gloves, wash, sanitize. I can't remember who died but I remember my colleague telling me. What if I forgot a wash at some point? What if I killed them? Please, please oh God, wash my hands. There was a terror in that house, all the residents were scared to catch it. They were lonely, too, even if most were impressively stoic about it. Told me all about how they hadn't seen their children or grandchildren since March, how the only human touch they had received for nearly a year was that of plastic gloves, how they couldn't even remember all the friends they had lost in that time. They were right to be afraid. According to a nurse who had been working there for a year, about a third of the residents had died since she started. I finished my shift, a thousand hand washes later.

I was on the bus, scrolling on the news app on my phone. The prime minister had said something strange again, can't recall what. Publicly, he had abandoned herd immunity, but practically this was still government policy at the time. A controlled spread. I put my headphones on to listen to the pundits and expert commentators. Lockdowns were a foreign exoticism, you see. An authoritarian state overreach, one of them explained; a counterproductive overreaction, another added. The only sensible thing, of course, was to sacrifice at the altar of capital as many vulnerable people as it took to appease that greedy god. That's nothing but common sense, all agreed, anything else would be alarmism or hysteria. I tucked my phone away. Sanitize, press stop, sanitize, hop off, sanitize.

I came home and went straight for the shower. I didn't dare look down, I was afraid that something red might be circling the drain. My husband woke an hour later and found me sitting naked on the edge of the tub. I couldn't tell him about work. I just asked him to please, oh God please wash me.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twelve (Part 5)

By now, Marnie has wrangled her way into a conversation with Jude at one of the tables near the bar, and I want to go over and eavesdrop on them, so when I order pints for the table I try my best to hear them over the pumping music.

“So we were queueing for hours to get into this really cool club,” Marnie is saying to him. “ It’s like, you have to wear black and you’re not allowed to smile otherwise they won’t let you in. Like no matter what time of day it is people are always queuing, it’s just, like, that Berlin party lifestyle, it never stops. Anyway, the club was called Berghain…”

“I know.” He says in a very bored voice. “I know that because I live in Berlin, and Berghain is a very well known club.”

“Right, right.” She says, wavering. “Well we didn’t end up getting in after all, they turned us away at the door, we were so mad, we couldn’t believe it.”

I glance quickly at them and she’s leaning in to him so she can talk in his ear, her arm draped over the chair behind him and her knee pressed against his thigh, while he’s staring blankly into the middle distance and chewing the end of his straw. 

“Yeah, so I think they turn people away when they know they’re going to ruin the vibe for everyone else in there.” he tells her.

“I don’t think we were going to ruin the vibe, we were the vibe, I guess there was like, too many people in there already or something.”

“Wild.”

The barman hands me three pints and I take them back to the table, disappointed that I can’t eavesdrop any more. I sit in a seat facing them this time so that I can keep an eye on them, not sure why I’m so enthralled by the scene, whether it’s because I’m afraid that Marnie will score with him, or because there’s a part of me that wants to watch her fail. I wonder if either of those things makes me a bad or a selfish person. 

Thankfully the conversation at the table has moved on from Dean and the myriad of things that might be wrong with him, and now instead they’re talking about the latest episode of Breaking Bad, which, obviously, I have seen, so I gleefully chime in with my opinion of Skylar White and why she’s objectively in the right. 

“She just annoys me though.” Complains Shane. “She just never lets Walt do his thing.”

Jen argues back good naturedly. “His drug dealing thing? His putting his wife and son in danger thing? Come on Shane, look at it from her point of view, any wife and mother would feel the same.”

This causes Shane to launch into another argument which Claire backs him on, and before long all four of us are talking over each other trying to get the next point in, Jen and I desperately trying to defend this fictional woman, but it’s all so fun, and I wish I could have more times like this with my friends rather than there always being something fraught or difficult happening. 

I happen to be looking over at Marnie and Jude the moment that she purrs something into his ear and slides her hand to his inner thigh seductively. He simply picks her hand off him, stands up and goes to the bathroom, letting her hand flop back onto the seat. Her eyes start darting around the room to see if anybody saw her get rejected, so I avert my eyes quickly. She looks small and vulnerable now, alone at the table, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad for her. 

A few moments later, Dean comes out of the bathroom and slumps next to her, his head is lolling forwards and she pats his arm and tries to make him drink some water, which he refuses. She gives up and sits there silently sipping on her drink while he’s all but passed out by her side. 

When Jude returns from the bathroom, he walks right by Marnie’s table and heads towards us instead. “Who are those two ghouls?” He asks me when he sits down next to me, following my eyeline towards the miserable duo at the table. 

“They’re my… friends from college.” I admit. 

“That girl is…” he shakes his head as though he doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe her. “She was telling me all about, like, her weird boyfriend who’s okay with her having sex with other guys and how she’s getting into Japanese bondage or something. Offered to tie me up in his house if I came home with them.” 

A shocked laugh comes tumbling out of me. “Really? And what did you say?”

“Well obviously, Evie, I gave her an enthusiastic yes.”

I stare at him dumbly for a moment before I realise he’s joking. “The only acceptable response.” I say to him.  

He nods. “It was such a good offer, I truly couldn’t pass it.” He laughs to himself, bewildered. “No I mean, really, I asked her why she’d said that to me, and how she thought I was going to respond to it and she didn’t have anything to say.”

“Well, I’m sorry, I’m kind of embarrassed that she said those things.”

“No. What? It’s fine. As for that other guy though…” He nods towards semi-conscious Dean and my stomach drops with dread. Oh God. What’s he going to think about him?

“Did he say something to you?” I ask, trying to hide my desperation from my voice, and the corner of Jude’s mouth twitches up into a half smile. “Not much, he just tried to sell me coke in the toilets.”

I feel myself going very still. “Oh.”

“He’s so out of it, when I walked in he was trying to do a bump off the wall mirror.” He laughs like he thinks this is a really funny anecdote, but I don’t. To me it’s a little bit horrifying and I have to shield my face with my hands. “Oh God.” I say. “I feel so stupid.”

“What? Why?”

“I thought he was just drunk.”

“Oh, no, Evie, that guy is fully out of it, he’s gurning his jaw and everything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! He pulled out the baggie in front of me and all, I’m sure.”

“That’s awful.”

Jude leans back in his seat and watches me with growing concern. “You know, Evie, it’s not really that awful. It’s just a bit of coke. Everyone is on coke.”

“What do you mean?”

He shifts uncomfortably, and once again I’m feeling like I’m the only one who’s not in on some big obvious piece of information. He scoots a little closer to me and his eyes are empathetic, searching. “I mean, yeah. I thought you’d have known already since you live here now. Everyone here does drugs, like, all the time.”

“I didn’t know.” I knew that Marnie took pills sometimes, of course because I’d blatantly seen her doing it, but all of a sudden all of those frequent trips to the bathroom that everyone’s been making each time we go out to a bar or a club make perfect sense and I can almost feel something clicking into place in my brain. No wonder they were all so talkative. “So am I the only one who cared about those scary anti-drug ads on TV? Who actually listened when they warned us about them at school?”

“No, like, alright not everyone everyone is doing them I’m sure. I may have been exaggerating.”

“All I can think of right now is that picture we all had to look at of the man who blew a hole in his nose and the meth lady with scabs all over her face…”

“It’s not… yeah I mean that can happen if you go nuts I suppose.” He breathes out a laugh. “But it’s like anything else in life, if it’s fun then people are going to do it.”

“Do you?”

“Well, I have done. Not lately…”

I look at the others at the table, still engaged in their lively debate. “Shane and Claire don’t.”

“Oh, definitely not.” He glances at me “Does that make you feel better?”

“Hm.”

“I really feel like I  just dropped some horrible information bomb on you. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be, I feel naive more than anything. ”

“It’s fine.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely, it’s completely fine.” I force my shoulders to relax and look up at him. “So do you think I should get with the times and do some coke now?”

He chuckles. “Yes, I can see that for you, it’s very much your style.”

“It’d be weird if I did, wouldn’t it? I can’t imagine it either.”

“Well, whatever you do, make sure it’s because you want to do it. Not because they want you to.” He nods knowingly towards Marnie and Dean. 

“Well, I think the first thing I want to do is leave this party.” I admit. “Honestly, I can’t think of much right now except for how hungry I am.” My hands move to my stomach which is growling furiously, asking me to feed it for the first time in days.

“You’re hungry?”

“Yeah, I’m absolutely starving.”

“Do you want to get food somewhere?”

“It’s probably too late to eat, though, I bet everything is closed.”

He pulls out his phone to check the time and shakes his head. “No, I know a few places that will still be open. We’ll get everyone moving and get you some food, if you want to.”

“I feel bad asking, but yeah, honestly I do want to.”

He interrupts the conversation between the three others. “Evie wants to get food. Any of you in?”

Shane starts to answer but Jen quickly puts her hand on his arm to stop him and says, “No, we’re fine here. You two go.”

“You sure?”

“Yes! Go ahead, we’ll meet you later.”

Jude glances at me. “Are you alright if it’s just me? If you’d rather wait until later or bring Claire…” He looks at her and she smiles sweetly back at him. 

I consider making her come with us but… fuck it. “No it’s okay, Claire, you can stay. We won’t be long. I’ll go with Jude and we’ll meet you back here in like half an hour.”

“You sure?” She says, big eyes filled with worry.

“Yes! It’s fine.”

“Alright.” Jude grabs his coat from the back of a chair and tugs it on. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” I say, zipping my own coat up to my chin, and I turn to lock eyes with Claire who gives me a little nod and a smile. I’ll be here if you need me. She seems to say. 

“You better mind her.” Shane says to him jovially, but something distinctly threatening flashes in his eyes and I give him a sharp look, wishing he’d just relax.

I start bundling up my bags of gifts, almost leaving the bag with the condoms there ‘accidentally’ before I decide against it at the last minute and snatch them up too. 

“You really don’t mind leaving your own party?” Jude asks me as we head out. 

“Not at all, get me out of here, quick.”

He snorts. “Okay, well, after you.”

Prev // Next

[strangewonderful]

peter can't take his eyes off neal. neal-neal. adult neal. the neal that peter named his son after.

for years after his quote-unquote death, peter saw neal everywhere he turned. in those stupid hats that he wore, and in the office, and he couldn't do anything south of the flatiron district without thinking of neal. him being—out there somewhere only made it worse and now that he's really here in front of peter, peter's still worried that if he looks away even for a second, neal'll vanish again. if he had been worried before all this that he'd turn his back to find neal no longer standing next to him, oh man, it's an even harder feeling to shake now, that neal's not gonna just disappear.

eight years. it's been eight years and peter hasn't quite gotten over his anger for that yet. but there's so much relief, too, to have neal standing in his living room again. he's older—they both are—but his smile is the same. "i wondered it, too." every day. because neal could have been walking these streets, even if he probably wasn't, and it took everything in peter not to go looking. it took everything in him to trust. that this was for the best. "seeing you around a baby," he grins, now, and reaches over to rip the toy from neal's grasp, "that would have been a sight to see."

“it’s been a while since i’ve been home here.” neal plucks a plush toy off the floor, it rattling as he raises it with a grin. “not satchmo’s i take it?”

still, the burke home has retained everything he loved about it. the paint on the walls is the same, as is the dining table, though neal runs his hand over the wood just to be sure it feels the same too. it does.

“i thought about you guys every day. i wondered what it would’ve been like if i stuck around here, just stayed in new york.” he knows it’s not an apology, it doesn’t even come close to the whole of what he feels he owes peter, and el, for yet another con. but he couldn’t take the risk. not when it would’ve meant a much worse, more dangerous reality for the rest of them. he knows that, even if he spent so many nights wondering about a different series of events. it had to be the way that it was. it was a final atonement, the ultimate sacrifice, leaving behind all that he had. it feels overwhelming to be surrounded by it all again. 

send me a number from 1-100 for a starter based on that song or send a 🎁 for me to shuffle ‧₊˚ @strangewonderful sent #98 for peter & neal -- i am not who i was by chance peña 

[strangewonderful]

dana's favorite family tradition is when they volunteer together. volunteering and those ideals are very important to the floyds and it's something that they've been doing together since dana was young. i think they would have a tradition of volunteering around the holidays particularly for food banks or soup kitchens, but it's also something that they do year-round in a variety of ways. i could see them participating in programs like big sunday where they're not necessarily doing the same thing or at the same place each time, but are instead taking up different projects every so often throughout the year.

HEADCANON QUESTION : what is dana's favorite family tradition? / from @entriprises ♡˚₊