#similarly im dead afraid of seeking out people w similar identities/interests
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feral dog gets a little treat for no longer trying to chew its own leg off after doing nothing else for 2 days. UGH
#tütensuppe#spent 2 days with excruciating self destructive thoughts#all 'yeah this is completely Normal and Reasonable'#<- stepped into depression pit and didnt even notice they fell#we have to work on 'people will sometimes neutrally think about me even if im not there' now#i made the experience that nobody wants to be around me if someone more interesting is there#so now i have this fun thing where i can make acquaintances okay but after a while of interacting#i start panicking that Surely They Will Realize Im Not Worth It Soon#and then its anxiety all around until i give up and retreat#similarly im dead afraid of seeking out people w similar identities/interests#bc like what if they find out im doing it Wrong and clock me as a faker right?#need some reassurance but wont get it bc for others its normal and not a stressor that will haunt them for the whole next week!!
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