#similar imagery for similar sentiments I guess!

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - A Dark Bargain

1 | 2 | 3

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost Kris is skeptical at first, but ultimately decides to give up their soul. What this means for their eventual future is yet to be seen!

[leonameowzz]

Theories for the new Playful Land Halloween Event

Mind Control and/or body Possession is a huge theme during the event

In the PV, we see the SSRs Ortho, Kalim and Ace, and when the camera pans for a close-up on their face, their eyes definitely don't look normal. They just look so... SOULLESS, you know? Just compare the two pictures of Ace below, the first one being from the PV and the second his usual look.

2. STRINGS, STRINGS EVERYWHERE!

Also the constant imagery of strings and the deliberate choice to not only include them into the character outfits, but make them the focal point. Even their poses in the respective cards are all in a marionette pose. Makes it feel like the boys are just puppets strung along to the whims of their puppeteer. Considering this event is based off Pinocchio, it just feels on theme.

3. The "mask" that they're all wearing resembles tree branches (there's even a leaf growing out from it)

Playful Land is based off Pleasure Land in Pinocchio where children are allowed to do whatever they want without laws/restrictions, which may seem great at first, but the hidden truth is that the children eventually get cursed to turn into donkeys. I'm guessing something similar happens here, but instead of donkeys, they get turned into (wooden) puppets as the mask gradually spreads all over their bodies and taking over control.

4. There's a "greater evil' backing Honest John and Gideon

At first I was thinking the tree mask could be one of their Unique Magic, but realistically speaking, it's not feasible to continuously maintain your UM due to blot accumulation. So, what if these two are only the face of Playful Land, their jobs being to advertise and scam unknowing people to visit, while there is a different entity that is able to trap the visitors by taking possession of their bodies and making them incapable of ever leaving. Maybe the duo made some sort of deal where they would help out, in exchange they won't get cursed.

I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE circus themes in general all thanks to Sentimental Circus from San-X (who also makes Rilakuma/Sumikkogurashi), so this event has got me super hyped up! It's been a while since I theorized TWST and this just gave me the motivation to do so. The fact Leona is getting a card too is a nice bonus. Event is dropping this Friday and I'm definitely pulling, hope everyone has fun and Happy Halloween!

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Hi Theitsa, I came across followers of Hellenism on YouTube, mainly Americans and I am just perplexed. Why would USians adopt native European religions/belief systems? It would be equally strange for me as a European (Lithuanian) to take on a specific Native American tribes belief system and practicing this out of its original context, or even Greek religion for that matter.

I guess Im just weirded out that Americans have been living in America for generations would gravitate towards European religions rather than Native American religions and belief systems that are tied to the continent they live on. Does Hellenism or Norse Paganism even make sense outside of their lands/environment of origin?

Why is this not considered cultural appropriation in some aspect? Hellenism consists of Greek names, Greek ideas, Greek imagery, Greek everything. Same with Norse religion, it is tied to Scandinavia. Maybe this is an extension of westerners separating Ancient Greek culture and society from modern Greeks and treating it like some magical fairyland where they can insert their own anglo selves.

I suspect western media and movies promoting characters and storylines inspired by Greek and Norse culture might be the culprit. If western media was obsessed with Hinduism for example, they would probably adopt Hinduism instead. Seems very LARP-y and superficial to me.

I apologize for the long rant, just my opinion of course. I would like to hear what you think of USians taking on these religions Theitsa, your takes are always interesting!

On the treatment of ancient cultures and religions in the US pop media I just made this post and I think you will find most points there aligned with yours. More and more people are noticing this phenomenon, meanwhile the US continues spitting out hollow retelling after hollow retelling and generic movie after generic movie on the Greek myths.

As for religion, I imagine that you, like me, don't blame anyone for being spiritual. But, like I've done in the past, you speak of those worshipers who treat the Greek religion more like a fandom than a foreign ancient practice, and insist on fully Americanising it.

Sadly, this LARP-y "worship" is quite common in the US. A writer who's kinda popular on Twitter/X right now claims to worship the gods and at the same time writes spicy erotica novels with them as protagonists for profit. And if you critique this person, they tell you that you disrespect them as a worshiper. Make it make sense dude...

Even the term Hellenism is wrongly used by them! See why here

There are minorities in the US who want their culture to be more mainstream in the country so they can enjoy their life with less bigotry. While the sentiment makes sense, I know that they will regret it if this ever becomes a reality for them, simply because that's how the US operates.

I already see Arabs, Indians, Chinese, and more, gasping in terror online when WASPs take their cultural items or customs and use them in a classic Murican way. And their voices are DEFINITELY not going to be heard even after 50 series inspired by their culture come out. If anything, their exotisation will continue. Been there, done that 😩

my tag #xenoi doing bs has similar content if you want to take a look at the expense of your mental health 😂

[hatsukeii]

hiii! im relatively new to your blog, but after read just one fic (guess which hahah), im stunned. your writing falls into place like absolute poetry. i wanna ask which books/media inspire you write or influence your style! im also craving ring pops now lmao. all in all, thank you sm for all the great fics, im gonna have a very fun night reading them all 💗💗💗

hihihihi!! welcome to the blog!! so happy to hear that you enjoy my work<33

i like to think of my style as a bit of an amalgamation of everything i've consumed before, whether it's actual books or fanfiction :)

a lot of my dialogue is inspired by how i talk with my friends, as well as by normal people by sally rooney! i love the way that rooney writes dialogue, it's heartwrenching and to the point, and doesn't drag on, so it feels real! normal people is such a great read as well, i will never get over that book HAHA

in terms of my general style, im a big fan of imagery, since it's kinda right in my ballpark and one of my biggest strengths in writing. it does get a bit hard thinking of new descriptions for similar things, so im working to try and improve on that. i think it's always a good idea to incorporate symbolic imagery into more sentimental works, so that's where a lot of my personal voice is derived from when i write angsts or complex emotional connections!

when it comes to humour i tend to use deadpan dialogue and absurdity because it just hits different LOL idk how to explain it tbh im a fan of writing character and relationship dynamics that are feasible, but also relatable in a way that gets people giggling:)

if you go down a deep dive, you might realise that almost all of my works are inspired by lyrics and song titles, because i actually get most of my style from how a song sounds! that's why i have my playlist linked in my intro post LOL i like to just sit there and shut my eyes for like a solid minute with a song in the background so i can figure out what vibe im going for in a piece

anyways that's all i can think of atm, but thanks so much again for liking my writing! it makes me really happy to hear that my writing sounds like poetry to you like it makes me giggle and kick my feet a little bit ngl ;PP

[marinavarshavskaia]

i’ve been thinking about “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” for months now.

I’m 100% convinced that it’s the best song written by Taylor Swift. No one can convince me over-wise. I’m a huge swiftie, and i love all of her songs, but this one is so heavy that i can’t get this song out of my head. Maybe it all comes to my personal traumas and shit, maybe it has something to do with her IMMACULATE writing, or maybe it’s both. But i’ve seen a lot of videos on youtube about this song, and i have some thoughts to share. I want to tell you why, in my opinion, “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” is one of the greatest songs ever written

First of all, it grabs your attention almost immediately. The synths are dark and very subtle, the atmosphere of the track is clear from the start. To be completely honest, i would never in a million years guess that the song’s topic is going to be so morbid and almost too dark for the listener to comprehend.

You might be confused right now, but let me explain why is it so dark. What separates us from animals is the fact that we were gifted with thought and memory. It can be considered a blessing, but it’s also out biggest curse. We wouldn’t be scattered and broken inside if we didn’t have our memories. A very deep rooted, heart-wrenching trauma is like a leech that drinks your blood slowly but surely the more you live and grow, because what your brain does is very cruel: it makes u forget on the surface. You feel like everything is fine, you feel like u moved on, but your unconscious didn’t. It’s like a brain tumour with no symptoms until the visibility of symptoms doesn’t matter because you’re dying.

Your trauma influences everything: your decisions, your personality, your emotions, your thoughts, your tears when you least expect it, your hysterical laugh when it’s unnecessary. This small leech inside of you can also influence the lives of other people, and you never know how badly it can influence someone.

I went off track a little bit, but i guess it’s important for me to mention all of it. So the song “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” is a brilliant song that explains trauma in the most eloquent, straightforward and heartbreaking way. I guess that after all of the re-recordings Taylor, to her own surprised, realised that there’s a very horrible and significant trauma deep inside of her that she has ignored for years due to its heaviness. You might ask me: “why is this one unique and significant?”. It’s significant and unique because of the way she wrote this song, and this song is not like the others.

“If clarity’s in death then why won’t this die?” is one of the questions she asks on this song. And internally she asks A LOT of questions on this song. People tend to ask questions when they are confused or bothered, obviously. And she’s not only bothered and confused on this track, she’s also shaking her inner child with an insane force. She’s in so much pain and confusion that she starts looking at her younger self with a little bit of judgement. She’s not only regretting someone, she’s regretting the fact that she’s been hiding from this very trauma for a decade. Maybe back then she thought that it wasn’t important to deal with it, and now she’s realizing that she’s wrong. And she blames herself, which is unfair, of course. She shouldn’t, she was small and vulnerable. She was a baby at 19, and we are all babies at 19. That’s when we get all of our bruises and wounds that don’t heal. When you have a scar, you can sort of forget about it, cause it doesn’t bother you all that much. The wound bothers you even if it’s small.

She craves purity because her soul is tainted by this experience. That’s why the God imagery is so strong in this song. We can hear the similar sentiment on the song “Clean”, where Taylor is not tainted by the relationship anymore, her mind is clean. She’s free.

Sometimes small things are actually big, sometimes insignificant things don’t matter until they matter so much that you explode. This song is Taylor’s explosion. That’s why it’s so intense and undeniably emotional. She sounds so sincere and vulnerable on this track that it feels like you’re hearing way too much, you feel like you’re almost invading her privacy way too much.

I admire this track with all my heart, because i can relate to it severely. Maybe that’s why i’m so passionate about it. I understand her. And i hope that she’ll find peace. Or maybe she’s already found it, we’ll never know.

[doedipus]

I watched oppenheimer the other night and I think if I were to describe it with any single word it would be "overproduced"

nolan has never been very good at developing characters through dialogue, and I feel like this is probably the roughest it's been. trying to discuss the pre-bomb and post-bomb parts of rob's life led to an unfocused scope with dozens of characters that mostly were around for a small handful of scenes each, and human connection between characters was cut in order to make room for more plot points to happen. the emotional core of the film felt hollow while the runtime ballooned.

people mocked the movie when it came out for ostensibly being a pity party for a guy who led development of the bomb, but I felt like in the end the movie only weakly gestured towards rob's interiority at all. there are a handful of scenes where he seems nonplussed about the jingoism of wartime america and imagines the bomb being used on his own people, but these threads get lost in the weeds as nolan chooses to focus on things that are more interesting to him. and beyond that, his presence in his romantic relationships seems incidental and tertiary. rob is a very emotionally detached character, which frustrates his lovers periodically, but again, these threads are lost in the weeds and not followed up on satisfactorily. they briefly hint at his interest in various areas of spirituality, but it doesn't noticeably tie into the plot or imagery besides explaining where that one quote is from. he's one of the only characters with significant dialogue, but he still says very little.

nolan also clearly was very excited about drawing a parallel between rob and strauss, as this forms the core framing device(s) of the film, but without much development of strauss beyond and handful of scenes which were repeated every half hour or so, it's unclear what the parallel was supposed to mean. in the end they just seem like two public figures with a petty rivalry that got out of hand rather than, again, any particular insightful commentary on either. this whole arc of the movie is a huge culprit contributing to how convoluted the presentation is, and ultimately fails to justify itself.

and this is the case for so many more plot threads beyond this. like if nolan's aim here was to make a movie about a complicated guy that properly conveyed how convoluted and meandering his life was, that's interesting I guess, but a big part of the job of biographers and documentarians is to help filter and weave narratives out of the chaos of real life, and nolan has staunchly refused to do that at all.

with respect to the bomb itself, I feel like the discussion of it here was very lackluster. we're far enough removed from the event by now to have documented things like the actual contemporary debate around whether we should've used it, what the bomb, like, did, changing narratives about it afterwards, etc. but instead we're treated to the layer 1 "a land invasion of japan would've been too costly for everyone, so we used the bomb to force a quick end to the war" interpretation we've all heard in high school. they even bring up the euphemistic phrasing of "a vital war plant with a large number of workers closely surrounded by the workers' houses" or whatever, but this is accepted uncritically by the film and not like, analyzed at all. going too far into discussing postwar japan or whatever would be more needless scope bloat, but I feel like one of the villain characters quoting stats at rob, while elsewhere the typical line is toed as usual, was not sufficient and did not do the subject matter justice.

people have been comparing oppenheimer and ziller minus one for covering similar material, but like, the political bent of both is just... bad. ziller swings for the fences with the political commentary but strays into wildly misplaced sentimentality that comes off really bad at times, and oppenheimer is seemingly petrified to say fucking anything interesting about the debacle at all.

[nateslehky]

From the BTS for fic writing questions: 18 and 24 with this hope is treacherous (this daydream is dangerous) 😊

hi!! sorry for taking a little while to get to this!! <3

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

how did you KNOW this was a fic i tried to reread recently and couldn't get through cause i hated my own writing 😭😭 this was a fun exercise to do though.

i like this scene a lot:

The worst thing about Artturi’s infatuation with Nate is that Mikko understands it. He gets it. Because he feels it too. [i've never written anything polyamous or poly-adjacent, so exploring a person's capability of loving two different people was a new thing for me. i liked the mix of jealousy and longing, i guess]

Mikko remembers his rookie year. He remembers being a tall and gangly teenager, forehead covered with acne, too afraid to text Nate, let alone talk to him. Nate's only a few years older, but he seemed so, so serious and a little scary. [mikko being afraid of nate as a rookie is SUCH and underrated aspect of avs lore imo!! nate/mikko in general are really underrated.]

Mikko thought he was afraid of Nate’s intensity. Maybe he was.

[cut for brevity's sake--although i like what was cut haha]

It’s amazing how much fear and lust could tangle around his rookie heart like vines, practically interchangeable in their look and feel. [i really like this imagery. it was one of the first things i wrote for this fic irrc and i liked the idea of what mikko thought being fear was actually attraction bc i think the physical reactions to those two feelings are very similar.]

Eventually, the fear withered away, dying and decomposing into dust, but the lust never left. [again, a continuation of the metaphor i used, i like the imagery of it all]

Not really. Not at all. [i like the simplicity of this. the acceptance of grown-up-current mikko realizing what those feelings actually were.]

24. How did you come up with title for [x fic]?

i'm sooooo bad with titles. taylor swift is my go-to just cause i'm really familiar with her catalog. i can't remember why/how i thought of the song treacherous, but i really liked the sentiment that went along with the lyrics 'this hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous' cause a lot of the emotions mikko (and artturi and nate) are working through in the fic is this idea that they could /all/ be together. and i think there's fear in the unknown for them and a fear that they can't do that or that it couldn't work out, even though it's something they all want or hope for.

ask me bts questions about my writing!

[ilikereadingactually]

Picturebook roundup: January 2024

another picturebook roundup, more things that caught my eye on various end of year lists! nothing nicer than coming home after work and sitting in bed reading these while dinner is in the oven, it makes me feel like i have my life all worked out jkldfkljdf

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to School by Davide Calì and Benjamin Chaud

this is an older one, which i didn't realize until i went to look for it on Bookshop.org and found that it's out of print. as i was reading it i remember thinking, is this a sequel to that one i used to sell at the bookstore that was very similar to this?? and it turns out this is a followup to a previous book, but also this is the book i was thinking of that i used to sell! anyway, i loved it all over again. as you might guess by the title, a child is giving the teacher excuses for being late to school, and the book examines each increasingly outlandish step on the adventure. very funny, charming art, every page turn is a fun surprise! and i always adore a picturebook that has a little twist at the end to tell you what you thought was going on isn't quite what was going on.

age rec: i'd put this in the 3-8 range i think! the sweet spot is that nebulous time when kids start to have an understanding of school, either from preschool or from other books or tv or older siblings, and also are still entertained by zany and impossible and surprising things. if they still laugh at the game where you give blatantly wrong answers to questions, i think this book would be a crackup. also great for adults who still laugh at that game (me)!

a bit i really liked: the expression on this blob's face is a big mood

more under the cut!

***

Bunny & Tree by Balint Zsako

i'm such a sucker for a nice long wordless picturebook! this one is really interesting, and the imagery is delightful. a rabbit and a tree become friends when the tree scares off a wolf, and through a number of exciting transformations, the tree helps the rabbit to find their lost family and in turn the rabbits help the tree settle in a new place and grow a little forest of saplings. it's a bit about individual friendship and a bit about community, and it's very lovely to look at, a kind of painterly art style that's a little abstract but detailed at the same time.

age rec: this skews a little older to me because it's quite long, but the story is itself pretty simple. maybe 4 or 5 on up to adults? it takes a little bit of focused interest to follow the story through to the end, but it's very lovely to look at along the way there.

a bit i really liked: the tree has "eyes" for most of the book and on the cover, but this was the first page of the story where you get to see them, and i found it really striking!!

***

Something, Someday by Amanda Gorman and Christian Robinson

what a lovely little book. this is the kind of thing you give to a kid whose parents are really invested in social change and making the world better, and i don't mean that in a twee way. through lovely and poetic (natch) prose and very sweet collage art (i adore Christian Robinson), a little boy cleans up a heap of trash outside his city apartment and plants a garden instead. what i really love about this is that the specific story is taking place totally in the art; the text is much more encompassing, about seeing something you think is wrong in the world, all the obstacles and ideas and sentiments that get in the way of changing it, the feelings of sadness but also helplessness and anger, and then finally the steps toward change, a bit at a time. this one got me, i cried a little.

age rec: i'd put the target somewhere between 2-5 for this one, though i think the top end of that could easily go older depending on the kid.

a bit i really liked: this is the page that made me weepy

***

If I Was a Horse by Sophie Blackall

i admit, i wanted to read this one specifically because i was a horse girl. not the kind who had a horse or anything, i took a few lessons but had to stop because it was too expensive, but i was absolutely one of those girls who pretended to be a horse a lot (Craig of the Creek really had my number). this book does what it says on the tin--taps right into that childhood desire and makes it happen in Sophie Blackall's signature art style. because of that art style, it felt a tiny bit restrained to me? stiff maybe? but it was very charming and made me laugh.

age rec: maybe 3-6 for this one, and could go older for horse-loving kids. the text is quite simple and the art follows it with fun and pretty straightforward representation, most of the delight is in seeing these what-ifs play out.

a bit i really liked: this was my favorite page, i want to be this horse

***

This Story is Not About a Kitten by Randall de Sève and Carson Ellis

with this author and illustrator team, i knew i would love this book! it's a story that builds on itself, like The Green Grass Grows All Around, about all the neighbors on a suburban street coming together to rescue a stray kitten. another one about community action, i guess i have a theme this month! anyway, the building text is fantastic, and all the people in the art are so different and specific! i want to be their neighbor! and most importantly, the kitten is very, very cute.

age rec: this one feels like it has range to me, maybe 3-7 and also grownups, because i think it has some layers! the basic story is simple and repeats, great for little kids, and the art really adds depth and gives a lot of details to pick out and notice.

a bit i really liked: surprise, this one also made me cry! this wasn't the first page that did it, but it encapsulates the message so nicely

***

My Strange Shrinking Parents by Zeno Sworder

what a beautiful book. the art is absolutely stunning, on the realistic side and really beautiful and soft, and the story really went places i wasn't expecting! as the child telling the story grows up, his parents keep giving of themselves--literally, trading inches of their height for a birthday cake, for school tuition and books, for whatever he needs. by the time their son is grown they've shrunk to Borrowers size, so he builds them a dollhouse and makes furniture to fill it. i found it striking that this allegorical experience, explicitly an immigrant story but definitely more widely relatable too, isn't portrayed as particularly good or bad. it's allowed to just exist as a story. the systemic racism that makes life hard for these immigrant parents is there, very subtly, because this story wouldn't exist in the same way without that--but the story is really about the parents' love for their son, and his love for them, and the lives they all build for each other as best they can. the text and the art both have a beautiful circularity that really makes this one stand out to me.

age rec: there are a lot of quiet layers to this book! i'd put the sweet spot in the 5-8 range, but i think it can resonate at different levels all the way up to adults.

a bit i really liked: i'm obsessed with miniatures, so this page really made me happy

[sou-ver-2-0]

Sou Hiyori and Kanna’s Sister Parallels

In my short time in the Your Turn to Die fandom, I haven't seen anyone discuss the similarities between our Sou Hiyori and Kanna's older sister Kugie. This subtle parallel is one of the many fantastic writing details in this game, and it happens to be my favorite one. So I wanted to talk about it! 

I love the irony that the characters in YTTD draw a more obvious parallel between Kugie Kizuchi and the game's protagonist, Sara Chidouin. Both Sara and Kugie are high-school aged girls, and Sara often plays the part of Kanna's big sister, leading Kanna to project her feelings for Kugie onto Sara. Although this is sweet, it's still a superficial parallel. Sara and Kugie play the same role, but how similar are they really? If you choose to chat with Kanna on the first day of Chapter 2's storyline, Kanna will tell you the truth about her adoptive sister. Instead of idealizing her, Kanna paints a more complex picture of a flawed young woman. Unlike Sara, Kugie bullied Kanna when they first met. It took time for the pair of them to feel like real siblings. On a deeper level, Kugie's own mini-character arc is very different from Sara's arc, but it perfectly mirrors Sou's arc!

Both Kugie and Sou have a cruel streak and they each make rash judgments about other people. However, they eventually reveal with their actions that they truly love Kanna deep down. While Sara can make the choice to abandon Kanna, both Kugie and Sou would die for the girl. Because of the striking parallels I see between Kanna's memories of Kugie and Kanna's present relationship with Sou, I want to believe that Kugie was just as willing as Sou was to die in order to save Kanna's life. Kugie's story effectively acts as a microcosm of Sou's story. So let's take a close look at it.

KANNA: ...Sara... / You're just like... my sister.

SARA: Huh...?

KANNA: Your strength... and your kindness... / ... / But my sister... / Wasn't always kind from the moment we met.

SARA: (The moment they met...?)

If you speak to Kanna during negotiation time on Day 1 of Chapter 2, the girl begins her story by telling Sara that she's just like her sister, since Sara shares Kugie's "strength and kindness." However, she admits that her sister "wasn't always kind from the moment we met." This is the first major difference between the two girls, and it's what clued me into the idea that Kugie's story might be a metaphor for Sou's story instead. It's also an early moment in which Kanna reveals that she's not as naive as people think she is. She's aware that Kugie was flawed, just like she's aware of Sou's flaws. She keeps choosing to believe in their capacity for good, even as she understands that they are capable of hurting her. 

  Following this revelation, we come to a notable choice.   

1. CHOICE: You aren't blood-related?

SARA: ...Kanna. Are you and your sister not blood-related...?

KANNA: ...Right...

2. CHOICE: Guess I win

SARA: I was nice from the start, so guess I win.

KANNA: Ah... Even the way you say weird things like that is just like my sister...

SARA: (Strangely, that just got her more emotional...)

Sara can either ask "You aren't blood-related?" or smugly observe "Guess I win." Either way, Kanna will steer the conversation back to her adoption by the Kizuchi family. But the choice to declare "victory" over Kugie here fascinates me, since it's easy to connect this competitive sentiment to Sara's relationship with Sou. While Sara and Sou are obviously in a competition for their lives, what ends up mattering more is their competition for Kanna's affections. In both cases, Sou is painfully aware that he's the underdog with "zero percent chance of success." Sou is sure that Kanna would choose Sara's life over his life, if she were forced to make that awful choice.

For Sou, who believes that Kanna loves him less, his moral dilemma is whether to support Kanna in spite of this. The fact that he supports her unconditionally in the second Main Game speaks to his strength of character. He proves that he truly values Kanna more than his own life. For Sara, who already feels comfortable in the "victory" of Kanna's devotion, the moral question becomes whether the player will make choices that are worthy of the girl. Will you help Sou protect her? Or will you decide that Kanna's life is worth less than Sou's hacking skills? Sara's choice determines whether she truly shares Kugie's "strength and kindness."

I'll come back to Kanna's feelings on this "competition" later. For now it's enough to say that she recognizes that competitive streak in Kugie too, and that memory makes her "emotional." It shows how she loves these three characters even when they say "weird things." Again, Kanna is aware of Sara, Kugie, and Sou's flaws but still feels affection for them. That's just how it is when you love someone.

Kanna continues her story:

KANNA: ...See, Kanna's adopted.

SARA: ...!

KANNA: She came to her current family from an orphanage when she was little...

SARA: So you had different parents, too?

KANNA: Mom and dad were really kind... / Kanna... was determined to always smile, childishly thinking "I can't trouble them." / ...And Kanna's sister didn't seem to like her...

Here, Kanna reveals that she has always had the type of personality where she tries hard to please others. She was worried about being a burden long before the Death Game, but for a more ordinary reason; she's adopted. She's always been self-conscious. Her ongoing heartbreak and anxiety comes from a deep place of worrying that her big sister doesn't love her. This informs her current relationships with both Sara and Sou.

At this point, the narrative shifts to a flashback of Kanna's memories.

MOM: Stop it, Kugie! Why do you do such cruel things?!

KANNA: No, it's fine! Kanna's not angry... She's not, really... / Look, see! Ahaha... Ehehehehe...

KUGIE: ...What're you always laughing for?

KANNA: Huh...?

KUGIE: ...You're creepy. I hate it.

DAD: Hey, stop that! Apologize, Kugie!

Kugie calls Kanna "creepy" and even says that she "hates" that part of her. Sara can't ever say such cruel words to Kanna; the worst you can do as a player is speak sternly to her sometimes. But Sou absolutely can say cruel things. He has called Kanna "stupid kid," "dead weight," and a "hindrance" in front of the entire group. And just like the Kizuchi parents scolded Kugie for her mean words, our group members condemn Sou for his mean words.

Now, we know Sou wasn't actually speaking his heart with those words. He didn't have malicious intent. (In fact, he was trying to save Kanna's life.) Sou said those words because he wears a mask to cover his true self. That's the essence of his character. He tries to sound tough and logical to force people to take him seriously. He assumes that once he lets his guard down and shows weakness, everyone will vote to kill him. He becomes a bully because he's insecure.

What if Kugie was also wearing a mask when she bullied Kanna? Not because of the Death Game like Sou, but for a more ordinary reason. Maybe she was simply trying to sound "cool." Maybe Kugie bullied Kanna because she was also insecure, and it would be easy to take out her insecurity on a little girl like Kanna. Kanna is an awkward child who speaks in the third person and laughs for no reason. It would be easy for an older girl to look at Kanna and think, "At least I'm not as embarrassing as that." Even though we don't know Kugie as well as Sou, I think it's a logical assumption.

KANNA: Even then, I kept on smiling... I didn't... want to make sister out as a villain. / But one day, when it became unbearable... I ran away from home.

This is the saddest part but I love it because it's a direct parallel to what Kanna says about Sou! 

During the Second Main Game, when Kanna confesses that she took the Sacrifice card from Sara, she says, "Kanna...Kanna...!! She didn't want to let Sara die...!! And also...!! She didn't want to make Sou a murderer...!!" 

The things Kanna does for these two!!

In other words, there comes a point for both Kugie and Sou where their actions are so harmful that Kanna feels like she has to throw herself away to thwart their "villainy." She runs away from home. She takes the Sacrifice Card. Because she doesn't want these two people she loves to become villains.  

We continue Kanna's story with another flashback. This time, it's accompanied by visual imagery of a small Kanna sitting by herself and crying while hiding her face under a bucket.

KANNA: ...sniff... sob...

KANNA: (narrating) I couldn't go home. I didn't want to... Thinking that to myself, I sat in the park with a bucket on my head and cried.

This is Kanna at her most vulnerable. She is isolated and alone. She has given up. 

In the present day, Kanna has many hopeless moments like this since she has just lost her sister, the person she loved most. We can judge any of the game's characters by how well they treat her, the most vulnerable among them.

In Kanna's memory, there is a character who comes to speak with her at this time. A little boy who tries to joke with her and cheer her up. Kanna only remembers him as "Brat," but to the player, he looks an awful lot like a small Joe Tazuna! The following confrontation between Kanna, "Brat," and Kugie is my favorite part, because it leads to my favorite parallel.

BRAT: Hey! Whatcha doin'? / What's with the bucket?! Yer funny!

KANNA: ...sniff... sniffle...

BRAT: Huh? You cryin'?!

KANNA: ..........

BRAT: ...Alright. / *He lifts his shirt over his head.* How's that! Ehh?! Look at me! C'mon! Funny, right?

KANNA: ...uuuuu...

VOICE (KUGIE): What're you doing?!

BRAT: ...Huh...?

KUGIE: How dare you put a bucket on her head and tease her!! Beat it, you!!

BRAT: I-I wasn't teasin' her!

KUGIE: Liar!! Kanna's crying, isn't she?! D-Don't... be so cruel to my little sister!!

KANNA (narrating): ...That was the first time she called me "little sister"...

In the scene, "Brat" greets Kanna and tries to cheer her up by being a goofball. However, Kugie sees this and gets the wrong impression. She assumes that the boy is hurting Kanna and she rushes to her little sister's defense. As a result of Kugie's actions, Kanna finally sees Kugie's true loving heart.

This is, beat for beat, exactly what happens when Sou confronts Sara about Kugie's smartphone. Just like Kugie wrongly assumed that Joe was bullying Kanna, Sou wrongly assumes that Sara tampered with Kugie's smartphone to make it seem like Kugie hated Kanna. Even though Sou is wrong--Sara was trying to fix the smartphone, just like Sou was--this is the first moment that the player can see Sou's true heart. We learn that Sou's reasons for targeting Sara aren't due to him being some scheming mastermind; he's simply suspicious by nature and he makes rash judgments. He acts the way he does because he genuinely believes that Sara is dangerous. And for the first time, we see how deeply Sou cares about Kanna. We see him stand up to Sara to defend her. Then we see how he wrote a message full of love and hope on Kugie's phone. 

When Kanna finally receives the phone, she cries "tears of salvation" over Kugie's new message. But Kugie's words are really Sou's words. And by the time we reach Chapter 3, we learn that Kanna knew the truth the whole time.

(KANNA): Kanna was always with her big sister. / Because she loved her a lot… / But Kanna was always just a bother to her… / Even that time when it mattered most, she couldn't do anything. / So she thought she was hated… / But that message... made her remember. / That surely, her big sister was watching over her… / That she had to stay strong on her own… / But, well… / The truth is, she knew… / That it wasn't her sister who wrote that message… / *Kanna remembers Sou's face.* .... / ...There's people who tried to protect Kanna. / There's people who worked to encourage her. / So... she doesn't want anyone else to die. / Because... they're all such kind people...

In the game, Kanna shares these thoughts with the player in the aftermath of Sou's death. This is the scenario in which Sou gets to complete the same arc as Kugie. They both sacrifice themselves to save the little sister they love so much. I'm sure that Kugie would have been grateful for Sou's help in writing that message and saving Kanna's life.

I'll finish sharing the rest of Kanna's story about Kugie: 

KUGIE: ...You still crying?

KANNA: S-Sorry... sister...

KUGIE: ... / ...So you cry too, Kanna.

I think the wording of that last sentence in English is interesting. The obvious interpretation is that Kugie realizes that Kanna has been secretly crying and hiding her true self all this time. But on another level, I wonder if Kugie is admitting that she herself "cries too"? That would confirm Kugie's insecurity. And it would make this a moment in which Kugie sees herself in Kanna, just like it's implied that Sou sees his "weak self" in Kanna. In any case, this "unmasking" of Kanna's true heart is a good parallel for Sou's story as well. Kanna also hides her feelings like he does.

KANNA: ..........

KUGIE: .......... / Kanna... I'm sorry...

KANNA: ...Sister...

KUGIE: Mom and dad are worried, so let's get home quick, okay?

KANNA: O... Okay! Eheheh...

It is possible for Sou to apologize to Kanna in the prologue of Chapter 2, Part 2. His wording is more ominous than Kugie's, though he keeps Kugie's sentiment about returning home: "...Sorry. / Just relax. If you’re obedient, I’ll tell you how to survive."

Continuing with Kanna's story, the narrative shifts back to the present day.

KANNA: ...Ever since then, my sister and I got along really well.

SARA: I see...

KANNA: Without any blood relation... Kanna and her sister got along really... really well... / ..........

I love this line because it can apply to Sou as well, since he isn't blood-related to Kanna either. All of Kanna's protective siblings commit to her well-being by their own choice.

SARA: Kanna...

KANNA: Kanna... will definitely go home...! Because she needs to tell mom and dad...! / Determination... / A kind of determination... much too heavy for a girl her age to bear. / ...I should be going soon. Sou might wake up, after all... / Thank you very much... Sara.

Kanna ends her story with a determined speech to return home and honor Kugie's memory. As we read earlier, Kanna gives a similar determined speech in the aftermath of Sou's sacrifice. Later in Chapter 3, she further expresses a desire to honor Sou’s memory, saying “I want to know more about the man who sacrificed himself for me.” This is Kanna at her strongest! This is a Kanna who wants to live!

I mentioned earlier that I would come back to Kanna's feelings on the "competition" between Sou and Sara for her affections. Because Sara resembles Kugie physically, everyone believes that Kanna would choose Sara over Sou. Kanna even says that Sara is "the person she most wants to live." That is Kanna's emotional appeal to save Sara from being voted as a candidate. In the event that Kanna dies, Keiji rubs Kanna’s words in Sou's face at the beginning of Chapter 3, leaving Sou desolate.

But it's important to note that Kanna's choice was always to save both Sara and Sou. To say that she would abandon Sou discredits what actually happened. After Kanna makes an emotional appeal to save Sara's life, she shrewdly makes a logical appeal to save Sou's life. And when Sou tries to direct the votes to Kanna, thinking she has the Sacrifice card, Kanna easily thwarts his efforts by simply telling the truth. Kanna was the only character who chose to be honest about the Sacrifice Card, because she never intended to let anyone else die for her. 

Kanna's choice was to reject the “competition” outright. She doesn't even take it seriously. Her reasons for taking the Sacrifice card were twofold: to save Sara's life, and to save Sou's soul. It's never a real question for her which person she values more. She would have died for them both.

This matters because Sou doesn't parallel Kugie in such an obvious way like Sara does, but the parallel is still there. It's subtle enough that Sou can't even see it. He never feels confident in Kanna's affection, which is why he ordered her, "Kanna. / Don’t you betray me." He can't see what's right in front of him: that Kanna cares about him as though he were her own brother. 

In contrast, Sara feels self-conscious about the comparisons people draw between Kugie and herself. She always feels awkward about it. She is fully aware that Kugie was her own person, and Sara can only pretend to understand what she was like. I really like the way that the manga treated this issue. Although the manga cuts out many of the excellent character moments from the game, it adds more focus on Kugie.

Sara thinks to herself, "I don't know...how many regrets that person had..." which neatly foreshadows that Kugie would have regretted bullying Kanna. Speaking of regrets also reminds me of Sou, who--in the route where he dies--regrets not trusting everyone sooner.

I wanted to end this piece on a happy note, so I'll just say that I like to imagine that Sou and Kugie would have gotten along! Maybe they would even be able to see through each other's masks and help each other. They could work together to protect Kanna, and the Player could choose whether Sara joins them.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Posting this for @pilotkinkade​ in response to their recent post made here, regarding concerns about VLD and how it includes white savior complex or potentially smears Allura’s character with that complex. I’m not reblogging directly because this is a long response lol. Thank you pilotkinkade for chatting earlier; I hope you find this post interesting at least and would be curious of your thoughts in return!

---

I do agree with your general sentiments, that VLD takes on a disquieting savior complex throughout a good portion of the show, even more so than in previous Voltron iterations. For me, it feels most apparent in the way that Voltron as an all-powerful machine in VLD is piloted by its second generation.

To compare: In the original OG alliance (Alfor, Zarkon, Trigel, Gyrgan, and Blaytz), multiple major races were represented, functioning as one to save their own collective galaxy from threats. So even among the OG paladins, there were checks and balances (maybe Zarkon had the strongest military skills personally, but Alfor had the alchemy, etc.), with mass racial diversity. This seemed like a pretty innovative and cool addition to the Voltron franchise. The s3 finale also clarifies that, unlike VLD’s second-generation, all of these paladins were leaders of their people. This meant they had political and legal authority/experience that an average warrior or citizen wouldn’t.

By removing that whole structure and retrofitting Voltron with (mostly) a group of unprepared teenagers from a single planet entirely uninvolved in the universal conflict, it created a lot of strange hierarchies...

We see much of the known universe raise up people who had zero prior experience with war, and little to no military or diplomatic training, as well as very little awareness of the traumas or people groups involved in this war. (Shiro is possibly the exception here.) But suddenly, all of these paladins also had unfettered, largely unquestioned access to ultimate power to carry out whatever vision they felt was right in the moment. Because simply “might is right,” we see even highly experienced commanders like Kolivan become castrated in authority compared to Team Voltron. Various alien groups express upset or side-eye Team Voltron’s well-meaning actions but obvious insensitivity to/ignorance of their problems or fears. Even at the paladin-level, a princess trained to fight and lead is subordinated to a boy with zero leadership training whatsoever (which is very different from previous iterations where Keith was actually very competent, more experienced, and wanted to be a leader).

And when Voltron plays the unchecked judge, jury, and executioner across the entire universe, the new paladins as a whole also do not have the political or legal authority the OG pallies did in the boundaries of their own galaxy. The second-gen paladins are not authorities of their people or representative of the people groups affected in the war they’re now leading. The OG pallies built the actual legend of Voltron in less than 28 decaphoebs, clearly going beyond their 5 nations to help others suffering from natural disasters or unknown needs, which might raise some eyebrows perhaps because we don’t know what all that entailed. But while we see that the Voltron machine eventually got celebrated, the OG pallies are never shown personally soaking in some kind of savior celebration…

(Photo ID: Alfor says, “Why I joined up this band of scoundrels, I’ll never know.” Trigel responds, “Because we’re the only band of scoundrels that would have you.” Third screenshot is of the paladins celebrating their alliance win by themselves.)

…compared to second-gen paladins (or some anyway) who pretty clearly soak in the love and prestige they’ve received based off the historical and legendary precedence of the OG alliance’s work:

(Photo IDs: Lance taking selfies with aliens excited to be around paladins. A second screenshot of Lance daydreaming about being a universal savior, stomping on Zarkon, planting a flag to mark ownership, and having Allura stare up at him in worship.)

In fact, a lot of the pro-Voltron war propaganda relies heavily more on recreating the legend already built for them, than on the actual competency or experience of the current paladins:

(Photo ID: Pidge complains about the war propaganda scripts, “This isn’t even factually accurate.” Coran replies, “Well, this is the Legend of Voltron, not the documentary of Voltron.”)

On that note, we even see the scripts reverse who is actually the most competent or capable of performing.

(Photo ID: Coran says, “Ladies and gentle-aliens, bear witness as the Paladins of Voltron attack Zarkon’s base to save the helpless Princess Allura!”)

Coran’s script, however well-meant, pretty massively infantilizes Allura as someone who needs to be saved by an external force, rather than mentioning her as someone who is an active and critical ally of the Voltron paladins in this war.

Unlike Coran’s script, Princess Allura isn’t helpless. In terms of the second-generation paladins, she’s has the most war-time experience, and is also the one that the paladins lean on constantly to create a meaningful connection with other people groups who are otherwise hesitant about Voltron.

(Photo ID: Allura speaks to the Balmeran people, “Balmerans, this is Princess Allura. You don’t know me, but I am here to help. I know what it’s like to watch your home planet die.”)

Allura is the successor to the Altean monarchy and a direct victim of the OG galaxy wars. So unlike other second-gen paladins, she has some semblance of legal/political authority that she was actively trained for, as well as personal skin in the game. She is ultimately the only paladin who has experienced a mass omnicide of her home and people, similar to other victims of the Galra regime. She also still accepts the authority of her father, whose AI tells her in season 1 to be prepared to sacrifice everything to undo his mistakes.

We see Allura from that point onward functioning under that directive from her father and king—to sacrifice everything she has to end Zarkon’s regime. One could potentially make the argument that, within this structure, Allura might suffer from a certain subset of “white knight syndrome,” in which one feels they’re worthless if they’re not sacrificing for others. If I have my facts right, it’s a different psychological state from white savior complex (in which I define white savior complex as “when someone outside the issue at hand barges in to make a change that may or may not benefit the recipient, simply to make themselves feel better or appear useful, without regard to the recipient’s wishes or real needs”). But I feel even the comparison of “white knight syndrome” gets dicey. Because Allura is shown as acting happy without necessarily sacrificing things (in fact, she acts progressively depressed s7-s8, the more she has to give up intrinsic things about herself or her identity). But when Allura chooses to assist or sacrifice, the sacrifice she makes has a very relevant and functional impact for the people she helps.

In season 1, she chooses to sacrifice herself to save Shiro. Shiro was, at that time, the Black Paladin and leader of Voltron, so Allura saw herself as functionally the less important of the two to save since she did not pilot the universe’s only weapon against Zarkon.

With the Balmera, she similarly chooses to act because the Balmerans themselves acknowledge they are entirely out of options, and also because the Balmerans (and the Balmera itself) accept her help she offers. At this point in time, she has already established a deep personal connection with them by virtue of their shared trauma of losing their home planets.

(Photo IDs: Shay says, “We’re lost! All are trapped with no chance for escape!” Allura says, “We can’t give up.” Shay responds, “But what can be done?” The group realizes the Balmera is regenerating beneath the ship, and Shay wonders why. Allura says, “The Castle!”)

Here, Allura assumes that the Castle—which is powered by a Balmeran crystal itself—could be regenerating the Balmera. But a Balmeran elder corrects her:

(Photo ID: A Balmeran elder says, “Not just the Castle, but you, as well.”)

So Allura did not even recognize at first that she was in any way a part of the solution to the Balmera regenerating.

Regarding the Balmera act itself, I’m not sure it satisfies the conditions for a white savior complex? I’m curious about your thoughts here, because I guess I saw it happening differently, from a witchcraft perspective...

We know from both Coran and Shay that originally, Alteans were one of the historical races who sacrificed some of their own energy to replenish the Balmera when seeking a crystal:

(Photo ID: Coran saying, “In the days of old, when Alteans were given the gift of crystals from a Balmera, we would repay its sacrifice by performing a ceremony. A sacred Altean would re-infuse the Balmera with quintessence. In this way, we had a symbiotic relationship.”)

We see that Balmerans were a voluntary part of this energy exchange by virtue of their unique connective powers (which is likely why we see them kneeling and activating said powers during these ceremonies).

Shay herself seems to indicate she is highly aware of these old ceremonies:

(Photo ID: Rax says, “Everyone comes to Balmera and takes, but gives nothing in return!” Shay says, “In the past, those who took the Balmera’s crystals would replenish her with energy. It was an equal exchange.”)

Shay agrees that the ceremony itself involves a sacred exchange of life force.

So I would argue that in this case, the Balmerans are not kneeling to Allura specifically or worshiping someone—it seems to be just the imagery associated with magical spells/magical transfers (where one object in the middle is the main conduit/focal point, and the other objects surrounding help to create and sustain the spell/protective barrier, etc).

One of the basic practices in real-world witchcraft is casting a magic/ritual circle. The circle creates a space where the spell, ritual, or form of protection can be performed. Forgive the stock image, but here’s just a super basic example:

(Photo ID: A magic circle in the form of a pentagram, with a candle in the middle, compared to a screenshot of 5 Balmerans surrounding Allura in the form of a pentacle, creating a sacred space with Allura glowing in the center.)

The five points in particular mimic standard pentacle-based ritual circles designed to create a sacred space of some kind. We do see various configurations of witchcraft imagery used in other instances throughout the show, such as when the druids have to help Haggar sustain her spells:

(Photo ID: Haggar centered in a magic circle, surrounded by druids helping her complete the ritual. Haggar kneels against the glowing symbols to complete the ritual.)

I think, similar to the druids that Haggar relied upon to help her complete a spell, it can be argued that the Balmerans were an active part of the regeneration spell with Allura. We see across the entire Balmera that they magically connect to help sustain the energy transfer, because it’s a planet-wide, massive undertaking:

(Photo ID: Balmerans activating their connection to the Balmera in the middle of the sacred ceremony to regenerate the Balmera.)

To me, it felt like the Balmerans were necessary to complete this ceremony--without their agreement to this energy exchange, and without them connecting to the Balmera to assist the transfer, Allura might not have been able to connect her life force and transfer power to the whole planet.

And to complete the ceremony, Allura herself kneels as well, just as Haggar did and just as the Balmerans around her do, in connection with the Balmera:

(Photo ID: Allura kneeling alongside Balmerans to complete the ritual.)

(Which means she’s technically kneeling to at least three other Balmerans in front of her.)

So I think the kneeling imagery would not correlate to some white savior complex event as suggested.

One other thought I had is that I feel help from a “white savior” is often haphazard and pushed onto recipients regardless of their thoughts or real needs. In comparison, we know that the Balmerans were willing to try this spell with Allura and accepted her idea of attempting the ancient ceremony. The only person who expressed hesitancy is Coran, who warns Allura that this attempt could kill her.

(Photo ID: Coran warns Allura, “To heal an entire planet, it could take more energy than you possess.”)

I do think it could again be argued that Allura seriously undermines her own value and worth in an attempt to help everyone, no matter the cost, which potentially gets more into white knight syndrome born out of trauma than white savior complex born out of privilege. She snaps back at Coran for being concerned about her well-being, and then she proceeds to enact the ceremony, not knowing for sure whether she’d live or die. But Allura also knows that her life force is uniquely tied to Voltron and that she is the only one with this kind of connection to the Castle ship’s battle-class Balmera crystal—all of this makes her a very powerful capacitor in a lot of ways. Which is why she looks like this after the ceremony:

(Photo ID: Allura having collapsed in Shay’s arms after regenerating the Balmera, but her physical features are not otherwise affected.)

And not like this:

(Photo ID: A screenshot of an Altean named Petrulius from season 6, whose features are distorted after having had the life/quintessence sucked out of him.)

So to me, it seemed that Allura was enacting an ages-old, magical ceremony approved by and wanted by the Balmerans—simply on a scale that no one had ever before attempted. And it’s likely that no one else would or could attempt it, because Allura is the single character in the entire universe whose personal life force is tied to Voltron’s regenerative energy (by virtue of Alfor’s alchemy on her as mentioned in episode 1). It’s an even deeper tie to the whole machine than the transient bond between paladin and lion. No other Balmeran or Galran or Altean had that kind of tie in their life force. Likely, even Alfor would have died if he’d attempted this act himself without being connected to an infinite power source.

And after Allura saves the Balmera with assistance from Balmerans, we also do not see her like this with the Balmeran people:

(Photo ID: Lance soaking up a savior fantasy as previously mentioned in this meta.)

Instead, post-Balmera resurrection, we see it’s actually not even the Balmerans themselves who thank Allura. The Balmerans simply convey the will of the Balmera, which Allura cannot hear:

(Photo ID: A Balmeran says to Allura, “Yes. The Balmera lives. It thanks you.”)

So backing up for a second, I do think there are much larger issues happening in the narrative with Voltron itself, with the unequal power dynamics of having young, inexperienced people from a single planet make and enact all the big universal decisions. But in the instance with the Balmera, it seemed like Allura was openly welcomed to help save the planet, using magical ceremonies as approved by the Balmerans themselves for millennia, and that the Balmerans were not passive in those ceremonies but a necessary part of their success.  

In general, Allura doesn’t seem to embody the “white savior complex” vibe at all to me, unlike some others in the show. Even in season 8, when Allura planned to make The Really Big Sacrifice, she asked her team to keep her actions a secret. She literally didn’t care for any respect or acknowledgment or prestige in exchange for sacrificing her life. She was doing what needed to be done because she was, once again, one of the few who could even perform at that level:

(Photo ID: Shiro says to Allura, “Most of them won’t know the sacrifice you made so they could live.” Allura replies, “And they’ll never need to.”)

(As an aside, I would argue that it was entirely unnecessary that the narrative would demand Allura sacrifice herself at all when she was literally standing in the universe’s seat of power alongside other powerful beings like her own father or the billions of other magic-wielding dead people, because apparently the lines between life and death blur in that space.)

(I also think there are some questionable “master race” vibes in the VLD universe in general, given that it forcefully pushes, even against the wishes of Alteans themselves, that Alteans are the only ones who can wield the big power to do big things. It’s clear that other groups and beings can wield magical abilities, but the larger narrative very oddly pins the “purest quintessence/bluest blood” back on Alteans time and time again in later seasons, leaving Allura in basically a no-win, no-help-available situation until other Alteans come along.) 

So yeah, I hope something in this meta might help settle some concerns about Allura as a representation of white savior complex? Or at least that this would open conversation for further discussion about what could be done in future iterations to avoid that messaging. Because yeah, I agree with you that the unquestioned savior complexes in this show are a topic that can and should be discussed! And also that, despite early world-building to suggest otherwise, the narrative especially in s6-s8 pushes that Alteans have a “purer/more alive” life force compared to any other race or form. Which is just…hm. Like, the master race vibes of all that are weird and definitely not even inherent to the Voltron franchise. (In previous iterations, humans, Galrans/Drule, and Alteans could all perform incredible levels of magic. For example, in Dynamite Voltron, Keith, Lotor, and Lotor’s siblings had all been taught magic.)

There’s definitely some weird images and unnatural power dynamics in VLD at times. It seems like more often than not, the narrative does strive to make Allura sacrificing something the only viable resort for anyone ever. In those circumstances, I’m just not convinced that she herself functions as an embodiment of white savior complex, by virtue of her behavior in those instances. But it’s definitely weird that the narrative places so much weight on her when the larger Team Voltron narrative is supposed to be about found family and strength in unity.

(If you read this far, thank you! Sorry I’m not succinct.) 

[iturbide]

SO...HOWS ABOUT THAT NEW BANNER HUH,...ON ONE HAND NOOOOOOOOOO MY MORGANS BUT ON THE OTHERHAND MAYBE EDELGARD WILL GET A SLAP IN THE FACE SIMILAR TO BERKUT FACING HIS FALLEN SELF????

I love the fact that as soon as a new Fallen Heroes banner drops you guys instantly come to me guess how I found out it was time

BUT THIS IS SOME BANNER HOLY WOW.  BOTH Morgans, Hegemon Edelgard, AND Feral Dima?  They’re going all out on this one, aren’t they? 

I mean, I’m also worried about the Morgans because my children (though I have to say I’m all on board with M!Morgan’s anti-Naga sentiments, he’s a boy after my own heart even though they’re probably going to make it Bad).  On the other hand...I can think of lots of fun ways to spin this that also end up with some significantly happier Morgans and lots more chaos within the creche because if two Morgans was twice the trouble, how much more will four net us?  Is it an exponential increase?  Only time will tell.  Grima just wants the children home and no this is not a discussion.

I really, really hope that Hegemon Edelgard is able to knock some sense into Student Edelgard -- and heck, depending on how it goes, maybe she’ll even manage to give some of the adult Edelgards will pause.  After all, this is not the culmination of their goals: this is about as far from what they wanted as it’s possible to get.  How did it come to this?  How did it all go so wrong?  ...which might lead to some very uncomfortable conversations with the Dimitri who became King of Faerghus.

As for why Dima gets the purple flames, well...let’s remember that it’s not only magic that leads to that effect.  Both of the Fallen Corrins have a similar flame effect, and neither one are in any way possessed or controlled by magic: the effect itself is mostly there to show that they’re not their usual selves, or not in control of themselves; much like their blood is overpowering them, Dimitri’s been overpowered by his desire for vengeance, and that “darkness” (as he himself calls it) has taken him over, presenting in the violet flames.

(Of course, there is technically an alternative explanation that is much worse: if you’ve played Silver Snow, you remember how after news arrives about the Battle at Gronder Dimitri shows up at the monastery, but only Byleth sees him and it’s left unclear if he was really there or not?  It’s entirely possible he was a ghost, and a lot of ghostly imagery in old Japanese paintings was accompanied by will o’ wisp type fires in odd colors...like purple.  Just throwing that out there.)

[astro-break]

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

[recentanimenews]

ESSAY: Berserk's Journey of Acceptance Over 30 Years of Fandom

  My descent into anime fandom began in the '90s, and just as watching Neon Genesis Evangelion caused my first revelation that cartoons could be art, reading Berserk gave me the same realization about comics. The news of Kentaro Miura’s death, who passed on May 6, has been emotionally complicated for me, as it's the first time a celebrity's death has hit truly close to home. In addition to being the lynchpin for several important personal revelations, Berserk is one of the longest-lasting works I’ve followed and that I must suddenly bid farewell to after existing alongside it for two-thirds of my life.

  Berserk is a monolith not only for anime and manga, but also fantasy literature, video games, you name it. It might be one of the single most influential works of the ‘80s — on a level similar to Blade Runner — to a degree where it’s difficult to imagine what the world might look like without it, and the generations of creators the series inspired.

  Although not the first, Guts is the prototypical large sword anime boy: Final Fantasy VII's Cloud Strife, Siegfried/Nightmare from Soulcalibur, and Black Clover's Asta are all links in the same chain, with other series like Dark Souls and Claymore taking clear inspiration from Berserk. But even deeper than that, the three-character dynamic between Guts, Griffith, and Casca, the monster designs, the grotesque violence, Miura’s image of hell — all of them can be spotted in countless pieces of media across the globe.

  Despite this, it just doesn’t seem like people talk about it very much. For over 20 years, Berserk has stood among the critical pantheon for both anime and manga, but it doesn’t spur conversations in the same way as Neon Genesis Evangelion, Akira, or Dragon Ball Z still do today. Its graphic depictions certainly represent a barrier to entry much higher than even the aforementioned company. 

    Seeing the internet exude sympathy and fond reminiscing about Berserk was immensely validating and has been my single most therapeutic experience online. Moreso, it reminded me that the fans have always been there. And even looking into it, Berserk is the single best-selling property in the 35-year history of Dark Horse. My feeling is that Berserk just has something about it that reaches deep into you and gets stuck there.

  I recall introducing one of my housemates to Berserk a few years ago — a person with all the intelligence and personal drive to both work on cancer research at Stanford while pursuing his own MD and maintaining a level of physical fitness that was frankly unreasonable for the hours that he kept. He was NOT in any way analytical about the media he consumed, but watching him sitting on the floor turning all his considerable willpower and intellect toward delivering an off-the-cuff treatise on how Berserk had so deeply touched him was a sight in itself to behold. His thoughts on the series' portrayal of sex as fundamentally violent leading up to Guts and Casca’s first moment of intimacy in the Golden Age movies was one of the most beautiful sentiments I’d ever heard in reaction to a piece of fiction.

  I don’t think I’d ever heard him provide anything but a surface-level take on a piece of media before or since. He was a pretty forthright guy, but the way he just cut into himself and let his feelings pour out onto the floor left me awestruck. The process of reading Berserk can strike emotional chords within you that are tough to untangle. I’ve been writing analysis and experiential pieces related to anime and manga for almost ten years — and interacting with Berserk’s world for almost 30 years — and writing may just be yet another attempt for me to pull my own twisted-up feelings about it apart. 

  Berserk is one of the most deeply personal works I’ve ever read, both for myself and in my perception of Miura's works. The series' transformation in the past 30 years artistically and thematically is so singular it's difficult to find another work that comes close. The author of Hajime no Ippo, who was among the first to see Berserk as Miura presented him with some early drafts working as his assistant, claimed that the design for Guts and Puck had come from a mess of ideas Miura had been working on since his early school days.

  写真は三浦建太郎君が寄稿してくれた鷹村です。 今かなり感傷的になっています。 思い出話をさせて下さい。 僕が初めての週刊連載でスタッフが一人もいなくて困っていたら手伝いにきてくれました。 彼が18で僕が19です。 某大学の芸術学部の学生で講義明けにスケッチブックを片手に来てくれました。 pic.twitter.com/hT1JCWBTKu

— 森川ジョージ (@WANPOWANWAN) May 20, 2021

  Miura claimed two of his big influences were Go Nagai’s Violence Jack and Tetsuo Hara and Buronson’s Fist of the North Star. Miura wears these influences on his sleeve, discovering the early concepts that had percolated in his mind just felt right. The beginning of Berserk, despite its amazing visual power, feels like it sprang from a very juvenile concept: Guts is a hypermasculine lone traveler breaking his body against nightmarish creatures in his single-minded pursuit of revenge, rigidly independent and distrustful of others due to his dark past.

  Uncompromising, rugged, independent, a really big sword ... Guts is a romantic ideal of masculinity on a quest to personally serve justice against the one who wronged him. Almost nefarious in the manner in which his character checked these boxes, especially when it came to his grim stoicism, unblinkingly facing his struggle against literal cosmic forces. Never doubting himself, never trusting others, never weeping for what he had lost.

    Miura said he sketched out most of the backstory when the manga began publication, so I have to assume the larger strokes of the Golden Arc were pretty well figured out from the outset, but I’m less sure if he had fully realized where he wanted to take the story to where we are now. After the introductory mini-arcs of demon-slaying, Berserk encounters Griffith and the story draws us back to a massive flashback arc. We see the same Guts living as a lone mercenary who Griffith persuades to join the Band of the Hawk to help realize his ambitions of rising above the circumstances of his birth to join the nobility.

  We discover the horrific abuses of Guts’ adoptive father and eventually learn that Guts, Griffith, and Casca are all victims of sexual violence. The story develops into a sprawling semi-historical epic featuring politics and war, but the real narrative is in the growing companionship between Guts and the members of the band. Directionless and traumatized by his childhood, Guts slowly finds a purpose helping Griffith realize his dream and the courage to allow others to grow close to him. 

  Miura mentioned that many Band of the Hawk members were based on his early friend groups. Although he was always sparse with details about his personal life, he has spoken about how many of them referred to themselves as aspiring manga authors and how he felt an intense sense of competition, admitting that among them he may have been the only one seriously working toward that goal, desperately keeping ahead in his perceived race against them. It’s intriguing thinking about how much of this angst may have made it to the pages, as it's almost impossible not to imagine Miura put quite a bit of himself in Guts. 

  Perhaps this is why it feels so real and makes The Eclipse — the quintessential anime betrayal at the hands of Griffith — all the more heartbreaking. The raw violence and macabre imagery certainly helped. While Miura owed Hellraiser’s Cenobites much in the designs of the God Hand, his macabre portrayal of the Band of the Hawk’s eradication within the literal bowels of hell, the massive hand, the black sun, the Skull Knight, and even Miura’s page compositions have been endlessly referenced, copied, and outright plagiarized since.

    The events were tragic in any context and I have heard many deeply personal experiences others drew from The Eclipse sympathizing with Guts, Casca, or even Griffith’s spiral driven by his perceived rejection by Guts. Mine were most closely aligned with the tragedy of Guts having overcome such painful circumstances to not only reject his own self enforced solitude, but to fearlessly express his affection for his loved ones. 

  The Golden Age was a methodical destruction of Guts’ self-destructive methods of preservation ruined in a single selfish act by his most trusted friend, leaving him once again alone and afraid of growing close to those around him. It ripped the romance of Guts’ mission and eventually took the story down a course I never expected. Berserk wasn’t a story of revenge but one of recovery.

  Guess that’s enough beating around the bush, as I should talk about how this shift affected me personally. When I was young, when I began reading Berserk I found Guts’ unflagging stoicism to be really cool, not just aesthetically but in how I understood guys were supposed to be. I was slow to make friends during school and my rapidly gentrifying neighborhood had my friends' parents moving away faster than I could find new ones. At some point I think I became too afraid of putting myself out there anymore, risking rejection when even acceptance was so fleeting. It began to feel easier just to resign myself to solitude and pretend my circumstances were beyond my own power to correct.

  Unfortunately, I became the stereotypical kid who ate alone during lunch break. Under the invisible expectations demanding I not display weakness, my loneliness was compounded by shame for feeling loneliness. My only recourse was to reveal none of those feelings and pretend the whole thing didn't bother me at all. Needless to say my attempts to cope probably fooled no one and only made things even worse, but I really didn’t know of any better way to handle my situation. I felt bad, I felt even worse about feeling bad and had been provided with zero tools to cope, much less even admit that I had a problem at all.

  The arcs following the Golden Age completely changed my perspective. Guts had tragically, yet understandably, cut himself off from others to save himself from experiencing that trauma again and, in effect, denied himself any opportunity to allow himself to be happy again. As he began to meet other characters that attached themselves to him, between Rickert and Erica spending months waiting worried for his return, and even the slimmest hope to rescuing Casca began to seed itself into the story, I could only see Guts as a fool pursuing a grim and hopeless task rather than appreciating everything that he had managed to hold onto. 

  The same attributes that made Guts so compelling in the opening chapters were revealed as his true enemy. Griffith had committed an unforgivable act but Guts’ journey for revenge was one of self-inflicted pain and fear. The romanticism was gone.

  Farnese’s inclusion in the Conviction arc was a revelation. Among the many brilliant aspects of her character, I identified with her simply for how she acted as a stand-in for myself as the reader: Plagued by self-doubt and fear, desperate to maintain her own stoic and uncompromising image, and resentful of her place in the world. She sees Guts’ fearlessness in the face of cosmic horror and believes she might be able to learn his confidence.

    But in following Guts, Farnese instead finds a teacher in Casca. In taking care of her, Farnese develops a connection and is able to experience genuine sympathy that develops into a sense of responsibility. Caring for Casca allows Farnese to develop the courage she was lacking not out of reckless self-abandon but compassion.

  I can’t exactly credit Berserk with turning my life around, but I feel that it genuinely helped crystallize within me a sense of growing doubts about my maladjusted high school days. My growing awareness of Guts' undeniable role in his own suffering forced me to admit my own role in mine and created a determination to take action to fix it rather than pretending enough stoicism might actually result in some sort of solution.

  I visited the Berserk subreddit from time to time and always enjoyed the group's penchant for referring to all the members of the board as “fellow strugglers,” owing both to Skull Knight’s label for Guts and their own tongue-in-cheek humor at waiting through extended hiatuses. Only in retrospect did it feel truly fitting to me. Trying to avoid the pitfalls of Guts’ path is a constant struggle. Today I’m blessed with many good friends but still feel primal pangs of fear holding me back nearly every time I meet someone, the idea of telling others how much they mean to me or even sharing my thoughts and feelings about something I care about deeply as if each action will expose me to attack.

  It’s taken time to pull myself away from the behaviors that were so deeply ingrained and it’s a journey where I’m not sure the work will ever be truly done, but witnessing Guts’ own slow progress has been a constant source of reassurance. My sense of admiration for Miura’s epic tale of a man allowing himself to let go after suffering such devastating circumstances brought my own humble problems and their way out into focus.

    Over the years I, and many others, have been forced to come to terms with the fact that Berserk would likely never finish. The pattern of long, unexplained hiatuses and the solemn recognition that any of them could be the last is a familiar one. The double-edged sword of manga largely being works created by a single individual is that there is rarely anyone in a position to pick up the torch when the creator calls it quits. Takehiko Inoue’s Vagabond, Ai Yazawa’s Nana, and likely Yoshihiro Togashi’s Hunter X Hunter all frozen in indefinite hiatus, the publishers respectfully holding the door open should the creators ever decide to return, leaving it in a liminal space with no sense of conclusion for the fans except what we can make for ourselves.

  The reason for Miura’s hiatuses was unclear. Fans liked to joke that he would take long breaks to play The Idolmaster, but Miura was also infamous for taking “breaks” spent minutely illustrating panels to his exacting artistic standard, creating a tumultuous release schedule during the wars featuring thousands of tiny soldiers all dressed in period-appropriate armor. If his health was becoming an issue, it’s uncommon that news would be shared with fans for most authors, much less one as private as Miura.

  Even without delays, the story Miura was building just seemed to be getting too big. The scale continued to grow, his narrative ambition swelling even faster after 20 years of publication, the depth and breadth of his universe constantly expanding. The fan-dubbed “Millennium Falcon Arc” was massive, changing the landscape of Berserk from a low fantasy plagued by roaming demons to a high fantasy where godlike beings of sanity-defying size battled for control of the world. How could Guts even meet Griffith again? What might Casca want to do when her sanity returned? What are the origins of the Skull Knight? And would he do battle with the God Hand? There was too much left to happen and Miura’s art only grew more and more elaborate. It would take decades to resolve all this.

  But it didn’t need to. I imagine we’ll never get a precise picture of the final years of Miura’s life leading up to his tragic passing. In the final chapters he released, it felt as if he had directed the story to some conclusion. The unfinished Fantasia arc finds Guts and his newfound band finding a way to finally restore Casca’s sanity and — although there is still unmistakably a boundary separating them — both seem resolute in finding a way to mend their shared wounds together.

  One of the final chapters features Guts drinking around the campfire with the two other men of his group, Serpico and Roderick, as he entrusts the recovery of Casca to Schierke and Farnese. It's a scene that, in the original Band of the Hawk, would have found Guts brooding as his fellows engage in bluster. The tone of this conversation, however, is completely different. The three commiserate over how much has changed and the strength each has found in the companionship of the others. After everything that has happened, Guts declares that he is grateful. 

  The suicidal dedication to his quest for vengeance and dispassionate pragmatism that defined Guts in the earliest chapters is gone. Although they first appeared to be a source of strength as the Black Swordsman, he has learned that they rose from the fear of losing his friends again, from letting others close enough to harm him, and from having no other purpose without others. Whether or not Guts and Griffith were to ever meet again, Guts has rediscovered the strength to no longer carry his burdens alone. 

  All that has happened is all there will ever be. We too must be grateful.

      Peter Fobian is an Associate Manager of Social Video at Crunchyroll, writer for Anime Academy and Anime in America, and an editor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: Peter Fobian

[imuybemovoko]

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 3

Yep. Doing this shit again. It might take me a hot minute to write this one up, but I’ll get it done sooner or later. 

This one gets a bit more fucky than usual, so here’s a few (US) suicide hotline numbers and a rather serious trigger warning. If you’re going to have a hard time with religious trauma, weird indirect forms of suicidality, and that kind of thing, go read something more wholesome. Practice self care better than I do. For the love of all you hold holy, my thoughts are less important than your well-being. Do not read this if it’ll hurt you to do so.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

I’ve looked through my playlist trying to find a song that I don’t remember as being repetitive as fuck. There are artists out there who don’t make their shit sad and modular for church camps and I was at least somewhat into their stuff. There are also older hymns. The playlist is mostly full of that weird shitty contemporary Christian music, but somewhere nestled in between stacks of almost painfully similar songs from Hillsong (they’re not all samey, but they get pretty repetitive) is Audrey Assad’s Even Unto Death. 

At first glance, listening back, it seems to have some of the same formatting elements as the shitty modern-styled songs I’ve gotten tired of, but it gives me a very different vibe for a few reasons. First, Assad’s general body of work as I can find it on Youtube (and is also stored in my playlist) is largely older hymns, and that’s her general style. This song is, as far as I can tell, an original work, but its instrumental and melodic style is heavily influenced by the vibe that older hymns give off. Second, the bridge is more varied and interesting than that of Even So Come or Gracefully Broken. The song does, in the final bridge and in the choruses, engage in some repetition, but at a level that I find far closer to what’s typical in secular music. Third, the melody reminds me somewhat of old hymns in a way I don’t know exactly how to describe. I just imagine it with piano and SATB choir. Most modern Christian music just doesn’t land like that. But for the trauma, I’d say analyzing this song might end up being a breath of fresh air. 

But for the trauma...

Anyway. Here are the lyrics, and here is the video again. 

The song is formatted in a way that’s nearly typical of a pop song. You have a verse (in this case composed of “Jesus”, two lines of bullshit, “Jesus” again, and two more lines of bullshit), a three line chorus repeated twice, a second verse (same format), the chorus again but this time with a more personal form of address on the second time through, the bridge (which Genius divides into four distinct sections) with some repetitions of the final lines, the chorus again, and an outro that’s basically just some repetitions of lines in the chorus and then “Jesus” and the first line of bullshit from the first verse, twice. 

So let’s get into this.

First verse:

Jesus The very thought of You It fills my heart with love Jesus You burn like wildfire And I am overcome

Alright. These lines are (clearly) addressed towards Jesus. (Speaking to him directly is a thing people do.) The song has a bit of a mix of a romantic bent and something a... little bit weirder, and both are starting to become visible in this first verse. The first couplet is like... straightforward. The singer is very in love with Jesus and even thinking of him makes her feel things. She’s not quite doing a John Donne here, I don’t think, but this is a pretty strong thing and this is part of why I say there’s a romantic bent to this. The second stanza contains that “fire” imagery that’s often associated with the Christian god, most often the Holy Spirit, that serves the purpose of showing how believers’ whole beings should be consumed by God. Then she says “I am overcome”. This reads to me like one of those “this makes me feel things to a degree I don’t know what to do with” kind of things, but there’s an element of what I’ll describe as a conquest narrative here. ...Again, not quite doing a John Donne, but not not doing it either. 

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. 

Next comes the chorus, and I think it bears mention now rather than somewhere strange like I’d normally do it because this verse flows right into it. 

Lover of my soul Even unto death With my every breath I will love You

It plays through this twice. 

Gives me the same kind of vibe as Job 13:15 here.  “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” The difference here is Assad’s song mentions love, which I guess goes beyond trust. So it’s even a bit crazier, and the “with my every breath” thing is the absolute kicker. This means she’s wanting to do literally everything, literally everything, in a way that expresses her love for Jesus. Extreme sentiments like this aren’t uncommon in song, sure, but given that we’re discussing Christianity... 

it’s not just hyperbole, they actually think this way and it’s very fucking toxic.

Also the chorus is the main reason I say this has a romantic bent. “Lover of my soul” is a fucking juicy lyric. 

Jesus You are my only hope And You, my prize shall be Jesus You are my glory now And in eternity

I think this second verse is mostly straightforward too. Literally just “Jesus is the entire source of my hope and I see him as a prize for whatever I’m doing” and “Jesus is my glory now and forever”. Glory here refers to like... honor and magnificence. In Christian parlance it refers to the condition that believers will be in after the world is overthrown by Jesus and me and all my fellow non-believing sexual deviants get hyucked straight into the eternal fire. It’s just like... shorthand for being “cleansed of sin” or whatever and living with God for eternity. I don’t know what circles Assad is active in; she might have a different take on this than I’m inclined to, but honestly given my understanding of this concept that’s primarily fueled by Protestant views and especially Evangelicalism, I’m inclined to read this as an empty threat.

Oof.

Onto the bridge. 

I notice now that the bridge has essentially two main sections. Genius says four; that’s a weird choice to me because each section they label is not doing a separate thing, but the two I see, based more on the repetition of the last two lines of each stanza and the similarity of the sentiment in the first half of each, very much are.The first chunk of it goes like this:

In my darkest hour In humiliation I will wait for You I am not forsaken

The idea here is that even in the darkest hour of their life or humiliating moments, the singer is trusting in God to get them through it and like... idk, remedy their humiliation or make it worthwhile somehow? This serves as a reminder that God hasn’t left even if it looks like he might’ve. 

Genius does a bit of a fucky-wucky here in the second section. They replace “though” with “oh”. I’m not sure how they could’ve messed this up, the video they link is literally the same lyric video that I linked, produced by Assad’s literal official artist channel, and the video shows this section the way I do below.

Though I lose my life Though my breath be taken I will wait for You I am not forsaken

This second chunk is more of the same “even if this destroys me I’ll trust you God”. Job 13:15 again, basically. Again, not hyperbole, they actually aspire to this. It’s not healthy at all. This first half of the bridge is basically just “haha I’m devoted to this relationship to the point of self-betrayal and inaction.” 

Oof.

Second half:

One thing I desire To see You in Your beauty You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory

So this third section is basically just inserting verse 2 into the bridge in slightly different words, but the role it plays here, juxtaposed so much more directly with the extreme, self-betraying devotion expressed in the first half of the bridge, is more as a declaration that Jesus is the only thing that truly matters to the singer. Like the entire vibe here is “this life doesn’t even matter to me, yeet this body and idgaf, just let me go see Jesus.” I think I mentioned in a previous post, I think another one of these depression-spiking jesus song dissections,  that this kind of mindset leads to what I’ll describe as a soft form of suicidality in which someone desires death by way of yelling at people for Jesus in places where that’s dangerous to do. If the singer’s only real desire is to see Jesus, then they’re very much at risk for this. Which prompts the question...

Is Audrey Assad okay?

You my sacrifice Oh, Your love is all consuming You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory Yeah, oh You are my glory God, yeah You are my glory Yeah

So aside from the “sacrifice” line here, which I’ll get to, this whole thing is more of the same. All-consuming love, Jesus is her delight, blah blah. The sacrifice thing refers to the crucifixion and to the framework Christianity posits by which blood needs to be spilled so that God can decide not to fucking yeet someone into an unending fire hole and that Jesus came to be the final perfect sacrifice so that no one needs to stab a goat or whatever the fuck again. 

After this there’s the chorus and the outro that’s basically just the end of the chorus and then the first two lines repeated a bit, you know, just as this last little reminder that dying is ok if it’s for Jesus. 

Which I guess is the overarching message of this song too. Dying is fun if it’s for Jesus, kids! Also let’s definitely not do a John Donne! 

I feel like I reference that poem a lot. But it goddamn fits. Like terrifyingly well. I think the reason I latched onto that poem so hard when I learned about it in my literature survey course last fall is because, minus the borderline sexual nature of Donne’s thoughts here, it maps onto my own experience very goddamn hard. I went far enough into Assad’s self-betraying devotion to God for a while there that I fantasized about dying for Jesus in a country where that’s likely. Suicide by martyrdom, if you will. 

On that note, here are the hotlines again.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

If you read this far, I guess thanks for being interested in my thoughts, and I really hope this didn’t trigger anything too serious. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I should probably go talk to my therapist about this.

[writeanapocalae]

Surprise it’s a tutorial!

Because @tenacious-scripturient​ and @agnodice-writes​ asked for help making characters earlier and it just so happened that I need to design a character RIGHT NOW I thought I’d do a bit of a tutorial while I do it? I’ve never done something like this so I hope it works. 

1) Inspiration - Last night I watched the original Charlie’s Angels and I remembered my absolute love for the Creepy Thin Man. Since I am always making more evil men and my story needs an evil man I’m taking some of the aspects of that character for my own. I’m going to take the sharp look and the nonverbal characteristics while dumping the hair pulling, screaming, and smoking. 

You can take your inspiration from just a look, from an art piece, from someone you know, or from other characters you have. If you have a film character that can be helpful to draw you back to the basics if you ever get away from them. You can also combine multiple inspirations and make them one.

2) Image- This part is so much fun for me and I’m hoping that it is for others too! I personally draw my characters but creating some imagery for your character can be done through picrew, pinterest (hiss), faceclaims, or video game character creations! While I draw my character I try to imagine things about them. Here’s a 3 minute sketch of my character

His face is a lot softer than the inspiration, he’s got a kinder personality and is far more patient. He has terrible posture, which lets me know how he sits and stands and gives me a hint as to how to write his idle motions. He has this loose sort of Bluth hair and he’s not wearing a full suit like the other characters in the story are, so he’s a lot more casual than they are. He’s wearing a turtleneck so there may be something that he’s hiding about his throat or he just knows he looks good in them. If your character has scars or tattoos or anything like that, this could be a good step to figure out where they came from. I definitely find this step the most useful for coming up with backstories and the like. 

(A secret step to this that I find helpful is having a friend who you know will find the character super hot. Instant validation)

Things to keep in mind

the world - there are blogs and pinterest folders and all sorts of things based off of aesthetics! If you’re writing a western, you should keep an eye on western blogs! If you’re writing fantasy, keep an eye on @armthearmour​ and blogs of that ilk! Having a character that greatly clashes with the setting can work but it has to be shown as an oddity or you’re writing about space travel or something. 

the story - If you’re writing an action/adventure story, having your character in a dress and heels doesn’t really make sense. Writing a story about the rise and fall of corporate life could be awkward if your lead always wears baggy lounge wear. Keep in mind what they’re going to be doing and the pros and cons of their outfitting for the setting. 

the character’s aesthetics - What is your character like and what sort of things do they carry with them? Do they wear clothes that they should probably get in trouble for? Are they trying to distract or bring attention to something? Do they always wear the same color? Is there something sentimental that they always have with them? 

the character’s job - My personal aesthetic does not pair well with my work uniform but I understand the importance of my work clothes (sometimes). The fact that I wear a button up, a name tag, and nice jeans makes it easier for customers to recognize me as an employee. Can I sneak some jewelry and as many skulls as possible into there? Not always. A character may not like what they have to wear, but that can tell us a lot about them and can come into play if they are working in the story. 

3) Names - There are a lot of different ways to go about naming your characters.There are a million baby names sites and there’s also generators. Usually, by this point of the character creation I have an idea as to what I want their name to be, just from learning about them, but I often make my names up instead of going with realistic ones. If you’re making up names though, you have to make up everyone’s names, or most of them, otherwise it will be jarring every time your character’s name is said and can create a “spot the protagonist” situation. Since my character is a hitman, he needs both a name and a code name. Luckily the code name was super easy since all of the other guards that he’s blending with have animal code names so he became Jackal. 

Remember that friend that thinks our character is hot? They can be super useful here. Come up with a couple names, for this guy I’m thinking.... Jack (duh), Jacopo, Raffaele, or Giorgio. And just like that he became Italian! That’s a new development! For the main character of the story Jackal is from I ran a poll on twitter and 15 out of 16 people voted for Anson, so that’s why I went with that for the main characters name!

4) Worksheets - I haven’t seen people use worksheets for their characters but when I was new to writing I filled out worksheets for my characters obsessively. I still do now, I guess, but without the actual form. They make you think of all these little details for your character, including their backstory! A worksheet can also be useful as a quick reference guide for your characters in the middle of the story if you forget the name of a spouse or of some location they’ve been. Here are a few worksheets to fill out if you find that useful! epiguide | novel software | freelance writing

5) Backstory - For this I would recommend working backwards. For Jackal here, I know that he’s a hitman, he’s nonverbal, he is terribly soft but that’s all hidden away, and he’s gay (of course). So I have to explain how he came to be these things or how he came to realize them. Most hitmen take on the job for economic reasons, so I have to figure out what the factors were for that. I’m going to go with a family member being terribly sick with no hope of recovery with the families current finances, which also explains his secret softness. He will kill, it’s business, he doesn’t see his targets as people as such since that will make it hard to complete a contract, but all of his money is going to the hospital and, if he has to deal with someone in a similar situation it may affect him differently. He’s nonverbal because (just researched this and I’m sorry if I’m wrong) he suffered some brain damage before he was born which affects his breathing. This leads to my decision that this damage occurred when his mother came down with the disease aforementioned and now I know that there are breathing problems involved with this form of nonverbalism which may come into play in the story. His being gay? Well, I don’t need to figure out how that came to be since that’s not how being gay works, but he probably realized that he was gay while on a job, falling, not for a target, but for an employer. And just like that I have a slightly cliche but still decent start to a backstory!

6) Asks - ask games, talking about your characters, and just open conversation can help you come up with minor details about your character. Yesterday I was asked what kind of candy my characters like and how they feel about Christmas in November. Will my characters celebrate Christmas in story or eat candy? Probably not but having to come up on the spot with an answer for these questions still taught me things about the characters. I learned that Anson loves nostalgia and has no interest in decorating for himself. And I learned that Jackal has very good control over his sugar intake, is more fond of bitter flavors, and is annoyed by the inequality of America’s Christian obsession. These are aspects of personality and those will effect the story more than what the actual answer to the question was will.

That’s a lot longer than intended! Hopefully me walking through my process for creating this character will be helpful for you! I know I know a lot more about this guy than I did before I started!

[fortunatelylori]

Let’s talk about the trailer ... because what else are we going to do on a Wednesday afternoon?

I was reluctant to write a meta on this trailer since there isn’t much in terms of narrative to analyze but since I don’t think we’ll be getting much content aside from it, let’s strike the iron while it’s hot, shall we?

The first thought I had upon finishing this was that this is most likely a collection of shots and scenes from the first 3 episodes. There is not one shot in this trailer that I couldn’t comfortably place within what I believe the first 3 episodes will be about: namely the White Walker war. 

It’s also a suspicion that is given even more credence in my mind by the EW article that was released a day prior in which the vast majority of coverage is on the white walker battle and the struggles of the production crew, actors and director Miguel Sapochnik with one of the most grueling night time shoots I’ve ever heard of in my life (55 days of exclusive night shoots! 55!). 

Considering that I assume the reason why they spent 55 nights filming is because the Long Night will actually descend upon Winterfell with the arrival of the White Walkers outside its walls, I feel pretty confident in going even further in my speculation regarding the trailer and say that most of the scenes we see in this trailer are from episode 1 and 2. 

That being said, it’s rather difficult to make out what could happen in those 2 episodes because we get a lot of different, seemingly unrelated shots of the principals without much of a hint in terms of the narrative conflicts that will undoubtedly occur during what I assume will be 2 drama filled episodes. 

As a general conclusion, I believe there are three narrative strands that the trailer blends in, namely: 

The White Walker threat 

Cersei and the Golden Company

Jon/Dany and the dragons

The interesting thing about the White Walker conflict is that we are first introduced to it in the trailer not by Jon, who up until this point has been the public face of the Human Race defense squad, but Arya. 

Seeing this opening: 

Followed up with this: 

And coupled with Arya’s VO: 

Arya: I know death. He’s got many faces. I look forward to seeing this one.

Feels like it gives me a pretty good grasp of what Arya’s arc will be thematically. Incidentally, Maisie already hinted at it in the EW article and this trailer just comes to confirm that: 

Maisie Williams: “There’s this split with Arya between trying to be who she wants to be — getting back to that naiveté and innocence with her family — and her unfinished business.”

This opening seems to emphasize this vacillation between Arya’s vulnerability and humanity and her Faceless Men training. It also brings up the possibility that the Faceless Men will be making a come-back in her arc, which would make sense considering it was never truly concluded. 

We are then thrown into Bran’s VO who is conspicuously absent from this trailer, which is disappointing. I think this is in part because whatever role he is going to play in the War for the Dawn is something that the Ds most likely want to keep hidden but also, and I’m sorry to say it, because his physical disability would impede them from showing the type of dynamic, action filled shots that they use a lot of in this trailer which frankly shows a lack of creativity and a blatant lack of interest on their part for his character, two issues that has plagued Bran for seasons now. 

Out of all the VOs, Bran’s is probably the most generic. People have speculated that this is something he will say to Jon and that’s a possibility but I have to say that while I was watching the trailer, I assumed he was saying it to Arya, as a way to help her reconcile the struggle between the two sides of her personality. 

Bran: Everything you did brought you to where you are now. Where you belong. Home. 

But really it could be about any of the Starks and it could also be about everyone in the show. Essentially, what this VO conveys is the journey all these character have been on and what led them to reach the place they are now. And it’s placed over images that show that: 

We have the Golden Company arriving. As well as confirmation that Tormund and Edd are alive! Yay. We’ll just ignore Beric, shall we? He’s just a bonafied torch as far as I’m concerned We also get establishing shots of King’s Landing and Cersei. 

Then it gets more specific and focuses in on Winterfell. This VO is mainly used as exposition for all of these separate entities coming together in the North for the Great War: 

These shots are among the most beautiful and sweeping of the trailer. They’re breathtaking actually. But I can’t help but feel the same amount of apprehension that Sansa has plastered all across her beautiful face. And that’s because it also feels a little bit like a home invasion of sorts. Jon and D*ny are advancing towards Winterfell in the midst of a huge army. Sansa watches from the battlements as the dragons begin circling her home. This is not all together uplifting, optimistic imagery if looked at from her perspective and her perspective is really the only one we get in these shots since Jon and Dany are presented from the POV of the people that have come out to watch the procession, namely this kid: 

Hello potential food for D*ny’s dragons. How’s medieval life treating you?  Ready for some nukes to destroy your hut?

Also this marks the first transition from Jon/Dany to Sansa in the trailer. It’s not the last. 

Then we jump into Jon’s VO: 

Jon: They’re coming. 

Jon: Our enemy doesn’t tire.

Ok, a bit unfair. Jon’s VO is patently about the White Walkers. However if the shoe fits, you can’t help yourself from walking in it

I won’t deny it. Seeing D*ny in the Winterfell crypts is uncomfortable for me. Not least because once again it feels like she’s breaching Jon’s personal space without being invited. She seeks him out. She gets near him while he looks down and broods, which is something he does a lot of when she’s around him. 

Just like Sansa seeing the dragons fly over Winterfell and the Winter Town kid watching D*ny’s armies marching, this, once again, feels like an invasion as opposed to the benevolent savior coming to protect the North. 

The VO continues with images of Gendry forging weapons and Jaime fighting: 

Jon: Doesn’t stop. Doesn’t feel. 

The feel bit is interesting because we get this: 

Jon and D*ny are supposed to be the epic love story on this show and yet the only kiss we get is for Missandei and Grey Worm?!? 

It also marks these two as the doomed couple that will die a doomed death this season so sorry about that, Missandei/Grey Worm fans. 

However, the entire sequence doesn’t actually end there. It continues with various quick shots, only to end on this: 

I don’t know about you guys but this indicates to me that the trailer is setting Cersei apart from the enemies that Jon is talking about. Of course, that makes sense on a surface level simply because Cersei is human unlike the White Walkers. But why go out of their way to make Cersei sympathetic since aside from the Night King, she’s supposed to be the Big Bad? My guess is because she isn’t and her story this season is about something else than another villain Jon and D*ny will slay with their epic love.  

The last VO we have is from Jaime. This trailer is very VO heavy and Jaime feels like an odd choice. What he says is very much in line with his season 7 finale sentiments, so not many surprises there: 

Jaime: I promised to fight for the living. I intend to keep that promise. 

However, you know who else made such a promise? One that was reiterated in season 7? 

Jon Snow: I am the shield that guards the realms of men. 

I probably wouldn’t have made this association if the trailer didn’t make sure to link Jaime’s VO with shots of Jon: 

Jon in front of the Heart Tree ... you know the same type of tree where he first made his pledge to protect mankind, back in season 1. 

Jon Snow running through a field of fire, looking remarkably similar to his Night Watch self. 

Jon Snow walking towards the creatures he bent the knee for and almost died trying to acquire in order to save the world. 

This last shot is fascinating for 2 reasons: 

It marks the first time Jon is actually in the same shot as Rhaegal. And he’s positioned right in front of him. 

This gives me so many Dance of Dragons vibes, I can’t even begin to fully describe them. To make things clear, I don’t think this scene will end with Jon riding Rhaegal. This is probably Jon and D*ny visiting with the dragons or inspecting that they are in optimum shape for the battle. However, the hint is there visually nonetheless. 

Coupled with a VO that talks about fighting for “the living” it’s even more disturbing to see the graveyard of bones littered all around those creatures. 

To clarify, the choice of having those bones there could be entirely avoidable. Jon and D*ny could come upon the dragons just sitting there, without charred bones all around them. Or if the scene absolutely demands that bones be there, they could have just not included the shot in the trailer at all. But they did. 

Also: 

Hello, Sansa! What are you looking at? And why do I want to hug you right now?

Obviously I doubt these two scenes follow each other within the context of the actual show but in terms of the transition, once again the idea of a love triangle is inserted, albeit in a very subtle way. 

Miscellaneous thoughts: 

Cersei and Sansa’s reunion:

Firstly, let’s just all stop for a second and bow to the brilliance of Lena Heady, shall we? Just look at how much she conveys with just a few seconds focused on her face. I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

Anyway, because Lena is so brilliant and I feel like I have so much access to Cersei through this expression, I’m going to speculate that the reason why Cersei is brimming with barely concealed satisfaction and contained savagery is because in this scene she is actually being presented with a kidnapped Sansa. That’s where my mind went the moment I saw the shot and I’m sticking to it. 

Ascots: 

I HATE THE ASCOTS! HATE, HATE, HATE THEM! For all that is holy, Clapton, release Sophie and Emilia’s necks from the neck chokers of DEATH!

Dothraki? What Dothraki? 

There are no Dothraki in sight! Not during the arrival at Winterfell. Not during the scene of Missandei and Grey Worm kissing. Not during the final shot of the Winterfell army getting ready for the White Walker attack. 

Where are they? I’m willing to bet something happens to at least some of them along the way. 

White walkers and the Night King: 

These are supposed to be the ultimate Villain that all the good guys are going to band together and fight. This trailer is nominally about them. And yet all we actually get of them is this: 

There’s actually no reason to hide the White Walkers from sight. We know they’re coming, we know what they look like. A few shots of them marching isn’t going to spoil anything. 

However, the trailer seems far more interested in showing the struggles and hinting at conflicts and tribulations between the characters, namely those stuck together within the confines of Winterfell. 

Because, of course, it is. This series has never been about the White Walkers. It’s about: “the human heart in conflict with itself”. 

Bring it on, show! Bring it on!

*none of the gifs are mine. thank you to the artists!