The Past 💛 Atlas
Have you ever woken up crying from a dream?
I haven’t.
Instead, I wake up with an intense twisting in my chest, like a band wound so tight that it pulls down on the roof of my mouth where it’s connected at the other end.
A physical need to cry that never comes.
My eyes and throat dry.
I’ve always wondered if this is a normal thing, if it’s something everyone experiences, or if it’s connected to my inability to cry under any other circumstances. Something that was trained out of me from such a young age that I’m not sure if my body even remembers how.
I woke up with that feeling this morning, and even though it has since relaxed, I still feel the pull of it like a physical memory, like the pain of a phantom limb. The grief still haunting me. Grief over the blue-haired boy in my arms.
I wonder what it means. Does the color blue have meaning in dreams?
I consider looking it up, but I’m interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Yeah,” I call out.
My twin sister and roommate, Dawn, cracks the door open and peers into the dark room, “Morning. I’m heading out.”
“Okay. Will you be home tonight?”
“Not tonight,” I’m not sure why I even asked. She hasn’t been home for more than a single night at a time since she got together with her boyfriend. She was only home last night so we could have some “us” time to catch up with each other and our favorite show. “But Phoenix has meetings all day, so I’ll be free for lunch if you want to grab a bite” she offers.
“Maybe. I’ll text you when I know how my day is looking.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later then,” she leaves with a wave, and I listen as she exits the apartment, locking the door behind her.
Once she’s gone, I connect my phone to my Lin-Z speaker and hit “shuffle” on my playlist. The room comes alive with music, giving me the final push I need to get up and ready for the day.
🎵
The Nightmare // Next
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"Winter Wonderland" - Part 3
It was to the new Spa in town. Paka’a revealed to me that he had been meditating and doing yoga since his early twenties. It worked too. I hadn’t felt that relaxed in, well I couldn’t remember when. It was also great because paparazzi were not allowed in the building.
He even arranged a private mud bath for me, which was very sweet of him. I loved it and so did my skin.
I definitely enjoyed my time at the Spa with Pak, as I decided to start calling him. It was great to relax and any awkward from our conversation earlier that day seemed to be forgotten.
After I got home, I felt a burst of energy. I decided to bring out Cleo’s old cat wand and play with her for a while. She really seemed to enjoy it. Sometimes, I worried about her while I was at work. I wondered if I should get her a cat friend. But some cats do like being the only cat in a house. I had to think on it. Because I didn’t want to get a new cat if it wasn’t going to work out for not only her, but the new cat too.
The next morning, I decided to do something I hadn’t done before. Put in a work day for the office at home. It actually wasn’t that bad. I got to hang out with Cleo and I got to stay in my PJ’s as long as I wanted.
Pak came over that night and tried to bake. He brought over some brownie mix he wanted to try out. It was pretty funny. But I held in my laughter and let him do his thing.
“These brownies aren’t going to be extra crunchy, are they?” I teased him. I had spotted him picking egg shells out of the batter.
He pretended to be annoyed and huffed playfully.
“Pak….I found an egg shell.” I say, seriously. I tried to keep my tone light. I hadn’t really thought I’d find one.
He gasped, which I found funny for some reason. We both started laughing and ate the brownies anyway. They were baked. One piece of egg shell wasn’t going to kill us.
Hanging out with Pak a few times a week was becoming normal. We’d watch a movie or go to the Spa. To his credit, he never brought up going on a date. Or asked me about my bad experience. Maybe he felt that if I wanted to talk about it, I would. I didn’t think I was there yet, but I felt that if I ever did want to. I probably could with him.
I did decide to do one thing though. Something I hadn’t done since before I moved.
Write in a journal. I thought maybe that would help me sort through my feelings and thoughts over what happened with Brandon. I had never fully dealt with it. I had pushed it down. Pushed it away. I knew if I wanted to ever really move forward, I had to deal with it. At least try to.
So I started journaling, not only about Brandon but about my day to day life and that’s when I realized something.
I was starting to like Pak beyond friendship. That scared me.
<-previous
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swimsuit picks for R.D.
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First Afternoon in Evergreen Harbor
“Hey! You’re new here aren’t you?” This unnamed woman gleefully asks. Felicity couldn’t hide her shocked emotion from her face.
“Oh shit, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Tina Tinker. The renowned ‘Tinkerer” of Evergreen Harbor. I saw that you moved into the shipping container down the street in Port Promise so I thought I would say hi.” Tina says.
“Well hey, I’m Felicity, Felicity Fields. I was taken a back by your energy I’m not use to such a high level.” Felicity chuckles this off.
“Well that’s everybody that lives here. You’ll have to get used to it.” She winks.
“Also, I came over here because you’re method of woodworking is a little dated and I have a few tips. Here follow what I do.” Tina says.
Felicity nods her head in agreement and closely follows step by step everything Tina does. She did have good tips.
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That night Felicity decided to head to the local bar to celebrate her first day in Evergreen Harbor. She was pounding back those Simsapolitans like it was nobodies business. Sooner rather than later she met a girl.
“Hey ;)” the girl says winking and blushing towards Felicity.
“Heyyyyyyyyyyyy” Felicity responds.
One thing led to another and...
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This is a new challenge I wrote called
The Humanitarian Alien Challenge!!
I hope you enjoy it if you play it!!👽
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© Perfect Chaos: This Is Our Life
Looking to the Future Part 2
Find All Episodes HERE
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Hey Tumbr, I am BACK! My YOUTUBE is doing so well now and I wanted to come here and do better about linking my CC and Mods, so for future stories you can find the content I am using. I will do my best to get better at using Tumblr. I and not doing a TIKTOK as of right now. I am recording and sharing my sims gameplay for myself as it is fun to go back and watch my stories. Creating extra content for TIKTOK would be too much right now.
Currently on my YOUTUBE you will find 2 LETS Plays. My EXTREME & MODIFIED version of @morbidgamer `s & @zombiecleo `s #ultimatedecadeschallege & #decadeschallege , remember mine is called the #extremeultimatedecadeschallenge or #eudc so please remember that when you watch my RULES add things I can #randomactsoflife and I am playing with the fantasy element of the SIms 4 Franchise. I am using Morbid`s rules as a baseline and the UDC timeline as an idea of event and to keep track of time passing BUT my reality is different. Think of Lord of the Rings, Games of Thrones, all the fantasy historical stories etc… that is the storytelling path I am taking and I hope you enjoy it.
My other challenge I am currently running is @draeyad `s crybaby whims challenge! #crybabywhims #sims4challenge
I hope you all gibe me a chance and check out my content!
Http://www.YouTube.com/haysiesimmer
#sim4 #sims4cc #sims4mods #sims4youtube
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Lily: Juhani? What are you doing here so late?
Juhani: Emilia kicked me out. Can I stay here?
Lily: Okay, just for a little while. Emily is here so stay in the guest bedroom and don’t come out until I say so.
Juhani: Thank you, Lily.
[Emily comes down]
Emily: Mom, who was that?
Lily: I think some kids who are up to no good. Nobody was there. I’m going to need to install a camera. Go back to sleep.
Previous Next Beginning
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Hey guys i’m Emily a sim addict and a tumblr newbie so honestly i’ve no clue what i’m doing lol so please bare with me. I’ve recently decided to try making some sims stories myself and i’ve finally got some ready to post :). So just a quick run down its about a sim named laurie silverman. She’s a young freelance artist just trying to live her best life. There’ll be love, laugher and heartbreak to come as well as inner demons to concur. i want to try and make as real life problem as possible. i’ll probably jump in a out of other characters but i want the main focus to be laurie.
I aim to post twice a week 4 to 5 pictures with text each post and some story description. I would love some constructive criticism and feedback.
Thanks for reading and checking out my tumblr i hope you enjoy! <3
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Juniper Berry
Juniper Willow Berry
Stage: Toddler
Occult: Spellcaster
Traits:
Bonus Traits: None
Aspiration: None
Aspiration Level:
Spouse: None
Children: None
Parents: Jasper & Aurora Berry
Siblings: Paxton, Isebelle, Chloe, Joel, Selene & Noel Berry.
In-Laws: Ryland Woodson
Nieces & Nephews: Patrick & Tristan Berry
Pets: Hazley & Milo the Cats & Kia the Husky.
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March 20 - Part 2
Everything was fine….until it wasn’t.
“I see my invite got lost in the mail.” A familiar voice called behind us.
James seemed to appear out of thin air, bringing a brief bit of sunshine with him only for it to fade into clouds as he breathed.
August and Caleb were out of their chairs the moment they heard his voice. Both males gathered around Aubree and myself.
“How do we force a warlock to leave, Aubree?” August asked, his tone laced with worry.
“Uhhh…” Aubree said, rubbing the back of her head.
I didn’t have a good feeling about any of this. Soon I learned why.
I didn’t recognize the woman as I scanned her from her expensive shoes up to her neatly painted face. She walked in with an umbrella, despite there being no rain. I stared at her, lost.
Caleb gasped softly, unable to speak for a few moments before one name left his lips.
My hands flew to my face out of instinct. I felt sick to my stomach. We had to be seeing things. It couldn’t be.
Yet there she stood. The woman I had heard about but had never seen. I had never seen her because she was thought to be dead.
“This is what you have been up to?” Caleb asked James after he got over his initial shock.
“Hmmph.” was James’ reply.
“All these years you have waited. All these these years you let me believe I killed her.” Caleb continued. I could sense my husband was annoyed, angry and worried.
I myself was still stunned and trying to figure out everything. I felt my breathing become uneven. I had to start focusing on things around us. Naming them in my head. I felt like I was going to have an panic attack.
“But you did kill me, Caleb. I’m not human anymore. I’m a vampire.” Liberty told him. Her voice was eerily calm.
James was oddly quiet for him. He stood there, staring Caleb down.
“I came very close to crossing over when you drained me. If it hadn’t been for James and Asa, I wouldn’t even be standing here.” Liberty continued, her voice laced with hatred. “I trusted you and you tried to kill me.”
“I was not trying to kill you.” Caleb spoke up. “I lost control. That was my fault. I have never forgiven myself for it.”
I felt a little calmer but not much. Things felt like they would explode more than they already had at any moment. I was most worried about my husband. Thinking he had killed Liberty all these years had haunted him. Today, he came to face to face with the ghost that wouldn’t leave him alone.
“That makes two of us. I have never forgiven you either!” Liberty shouted at him before composing herself. Her gaze finally landed on the rest of us. She stared at me for the longest moment with a mixture of anger and sadness. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Terrible silence followed. It was louder than any words that any of us could have yelled at each other.
In a flash, Caleb moved to attack James.
Liberty blocked Caleb’s path. “Touch my husband and I’ll have to tell your pretty wife about Inna.”
Caleb’s face froze instantly and he dropped to the ground, barely landing on his feet.
Who is Inna????
I didn’t get to ask. James and Liberty disappeared in a cloud of black fog as Caleb made us leave quickly. Now I’m sitting on the Vatore private plane while Caleb is in another cabin. I can faintly hear him talking to his sister on the phone.
Who is Inna?!
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"Beyond The Sea" - Part 3
We arrived in Sulani and relaxed by the beach for a bit. I ended up taking a short nap. I couldn't help it, it's so peaceful there.
Then we had a snack. I love the grilled fruit. It's become one of my favorite things to eat.
After we waited a little bit to get into the water, I jumped on a jet ski. It was just floating in the water. I wasn't going to steal it. Just borrow it. Even if I had never driven one before, I felt like going for it.
It was actually fun. I drove around on it for about fifteen minutes, before getting off of it because Pak wanted to go swimming together.
I was still curious what he wanted to show me. But I hadn't pestered him about it. Luckily, I wouldn't have to wait long from that moment.
"Okay, just a little deeper and I'll show you." He said. I could tell he was getting nervous. That made me nervous. What did he want to show me in the middle of the ocean? I was confused.
Then Pak motioned for me to stop. He moved out in front of me and dived into the water. I floated there, staring at the water. Confused.
When he came back up, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Pak had a tail. A colorful tail. And he was able to dive in and out of the water quickly. Not something an ordinary human could do.
I was stunned. My brain was going faster than the rest of me could keep track of.
Pak swam back by me and made a noise that sound like, well. A dolphin. And then a actual dolphin came up out of the water and Pak was playing with it. I watched in awe.
"This is my friend Shimmer. I've known him since he was a baby." Pak explained.
After Pak gave Shimmer a fish, the dolphin swam away to join some other dolphins.
"I'm a mermaid, Evie. Well. Merman to be more specific." Pak told me. "I'm the one you saw on my Birthday. I guess. I wanted to see how you'd react to any of us in general." He admitted. "And for the record, you actually did very well."
I nodded, letting things sink in fully. It had to take a lot for him to reveal what he is to me. I also wondered if in some places, it was dangerous for him to be made known.
Pak swam closer to me and pulled me close, kissing me slowly. The kiss was different. Almost, magical in a way. Pak pulled away and looked at me. "I've wanted to tell you for a while. We really aren't supposed to tell humans, unless we truly trust them and intend to become mates with them."
Mates? I blushed. It was also touching to hear that he trusts me. He had to, to reveal his true nature to me.
"I won't tell anyone." I assured him. And I wouldn't. Maybe I'd tell my cats, but who would they tell? No one.
We got out of the water and hung out around the bonfire someone built on the beach.
"Pak." I said, softly. I looked over at him. "I want you to know that this doesn't scare me off. It changes the way I feel about you." I said and I could see the look in his eyes, he was worried. "Not in a bad way though. It's in a good way. It makes me feel closer to you."
It really did. He trusted me with his secret. I wasn't going to let him down.
We spent a few more hours on the beach, building sandcastles and watching the fire until we went back to my house. He fell asleep on my couch and I, in my bed.
I woke up the next morning, happy to see him still there.
Evie." Pak said, taking my hand. He was reminding me of a gentleman from old England.
I loved it. I giggled and I wasn't one of those women who go around giggling all the time.
"Would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?" Pak asked me, looking into my eyes while still holding my hand.
"Yes!" I exclaimed. I didn't have to think about it.
I pulled him close to me and kissed him. I was so happy. I never thought I would find someone. I never believed it would happen.
We posed for a picture, but it wasn't for my social media account. It wasn't to get me attention. It was for us. For our memories. It was just ours.
<-previous
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March 13
Other than Joey seeing James and his mystery woman in Newcrest, there hasn’t been any sight of the woman or any news on her. Lilith and Jackson searched Newcrest while Caleb searched Midnight Hollow yesterday. I spent the day with Dakota, Jillian and Joey in Brindleton Bay. Despite the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something is coming, I enjoyed my time with my friends. It looks to me that Dakota and Jillian are growing closer. I really do hope Dakota finds someone who loves him the way he deserves.
“I look like a beached whale.” I told Caleb earlier. A lot of my clothes no longer fit me right. I knew it was coming but experiencing it is another thing but it’s for a wonderful cause.
“Nonsense. I see the most stunning creature on earth carrying our child.” Caleb comments, looking me over and stopping his eyes on my stomach. His gaze told me that he meant his words. I smiled on the verge of tears.
Caleb leaned forward and grabbed my wrists gently, pulling me towards him and the bed. “I want to ravage you, tesoro.”
“Caleb…” I started, of course he’s stronger than me and I ended up in his lap. He was careful with me, given my current condition.
I gasped in surprise and grabbed his hand. “The baby is kicking.” I told him, moving his hands around a little to get them into the right spot.
I had never seen that look of wonder and happiness on Caleb’s face before, not in the entire time I’ve known him. The baby has moved before, even kicked lightly. But this time he or she has really kicked up a storm. It almost hurt but the look on Caleb’s face was worth it.
“Daddy loves you.” I heard Caleb whisper to my stomach before placing a kiss on it while also running his hand up my leg inside my pajama shorts. Caleb is a multitasker at heart. Still, the moment was incredibly sweet. I can’t wait to watch Caleb meet our child for the first time.
“And I love Mommy too.” Caleb whispered, pulling me closer to him and kissing my chest before moving onto my neck. I rubbed my stomach while Caleb continued his path up to my ear lobe.
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Swimming suits are ready for S.J.
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Autumn loves fashion so picking outfits was equally easy, cause she has an eye for style, and just as hard cause she has so many options!!
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